#anyway i love the emotional arcs and symmetry in this show so much

[raayllum]

Rayla, confident in everything she does until the finish line, and Callum, uncertain until his “moment of truth” pans out. I’ve been thinking about how these insecurities and flaws follow them into S3 a lot lately. Both have moments of “redemption” in Rayla’s case and “confidence” in Callum’s before S3, with Rayla successfully saving Zym in 1x09 and choosing her path in 2x07, removing her hesitance, and culminating in her tackling Viren off the Pinnacle. For Callum, he learns to depend on his magic and believe more and more in his own capability, culminating in him jumping off the Pinnacle after her, not without his own doubts, but determined to make it work lest he lose her. 

In some ways, Callum has curbed his; he’s learned to rely on his magic and is confident that it’ll work out for him the way he wants by S4. But I wonder if he might feel a bit more like Rayla, now, that he choked at the finish line and let her slip through his fingers when it mattered the most. Meanwhile, Rayla is still trying to make up for how she ‘choked’ in 3x09 (likely in her mind by not fully dying alongside Viren and ensuring his death, somehow through that). Both she and Callum have had to ‘harden’ their hearts because of their separation, and I wonder if their reunion will help heal this continuing wound. For Callum, he’ll get a second chance at keeping Rayla safe and bringing her home, making up for that past ‘mistake’; for Rayla, she may be able to learn that even when she doesn’t pull through, even when she does fumble at the finish line, it doesn’t mean a loss of worth. She can make mistakes and still have value - and who better to help her learn that than Callum, when she taught him just the same in S2?

[reading-while-queer]

Ninth House, Leigh Bardugo

Rating: Mixed Review Genre: Fantasy, Mystery, Dark Academia Representation: -Bi/pan protagonist -Jewish protagonist -Latina mixed race protagonist Trigger warnings: Sexual assault (in scene), rape (in scene), CSA (in scene), graphic violence, murder, drug use, drug abuse, drugging of another person, overdose, domestic abuse, medical abuse, violence by dogs Note: Not YA

Why is it that every time I read Leigh Bardugo, I love the book with a passion...except for one thing that makes me want to tear my hair out?

Here’s what seriously impressed me about Ninth House, Bardugo’s entry into New Adult. The pacing was phenomenal. The measured, perfectly timed revelations of information had me finding excuses to listen to the audiobook - taking extra neighborhood walks, doing extra loads of laundry - because I was so hooked. Then, there’s the worldbuilding. Bardugo managed to walk a delicate line, successfully suspending disbelief while still asserting that eight Yale secret societies do secret magic rituals to the benefit of the oligarchical capitalist machine (we all kind of suspected this was the case, right?). But the best part of the book, the part that had me recommending Ninth House in more than one group chat, was, of all things, the point-of-view jumps.

Rarely are point-of-view switches the star of the show, but I was so excited to see a genuinely original, intrinsic-to-the-heart-of-the-whole-novel use of that technical tool. The point of view jumps crank the volume up on the theme of the whole book. We start with the main character, Galaxy “Alex” Stern; she is the point-of-view character for the present semester during which the principal action of the novel takes place. Her upperclassman and mentor Daniel Arlington (or “Darlington”) is the point-of-view character for the semester before - all because something happened to Darlington. Alex is telling people he’s doing a “semester in Spain,” and all the reader knows is that her explanation isn’t strictly true. The point-of-view jumps being so strict (there is never an Alex perspective chapter during last semester, and never a Darlington perspective in the present) serves to separate the two characters from each other with a really incredible emotional effectiveness. The heart of the novel, for me as a reader, was yearning for these two to be reunited - and all because Bardugo holds the two character points-of-view separate across an unbreachable temporal divide. It’s a powerfully effective technique.

But let’s backtrack. Alex is a 20-year-old high school dropout from the west coast. As the story progresses, we learn that Alex can see ghosts, which is why, despite never finishing high school or getting her GED - or even applying - Alex is a freshman at Yale - contingent on her joining the secret society called “Lethe House” as apprentice (“Dante”) to the current leader of the society, Darlington (the “Virgil”). Lethe House is the governing body of the eight Yale secret societies that practice the magic that keeps the elite in power. These secret societies make books sell, make T.V. anchors charming and compelling, and open portals to other parts of the world - when they aren’t throwing over the top Halloween parties with magic designed to alter one’s perception of reality.

Darlington, by contrast to Alex, seems to belong at Yale. He’s from an old family, and he’s preppy and well-read. Most of all, he loves Lethe House and its history of keeping the secret societies from harming people in their pursuit of magic and power. That is, until he disappears just in time for Alex, only half-trained, to investigate the murder of a girl on campus.

The first three quarters of the novel are fantastic for the reasons stated above. Bardugo’s approach to mystery writing is effective. We have half a dozen suspects, most of whom, as elite ivy league magicians, are at least guilty of some misdeed. Having all your red herrings end up somewhat culpable anyway is a good way to keep your mystery difficult to solve until the end. We were off to a good start.

Unfortunately, in the end, Bardugo made the all-too-common choice to value “surprise” over the most compelling, satisfying solution. So while the reader doesn’t see the ending coming, that is at the steep cost of the ending not being justified by the rest of the book. Bardugo even has to invent new rules of magic off the cuff to justify the ending. When the rest of the book so painstakingly developed the rules of magic in a way that made sense and never felt overly expository, undoing all that effort feels like a monumental waste. And for what did Bardugo undermine all her hard work? A mystery that the reader won’t have all the clues to solve? It’s really okay - in fact, good - if the reader can puzzle out your story. It means your story has symmetry, internal logic, or perhaps, some sort of message.

This is what had me tearing my hair out. I know exactly how I would have written the ending of Ninth House to be the perfect conclusion to a stunning book. I know exactly what the message should have been. Is it somewhat ridiculous to say that Bardugo misinterpreted the message of her own book? Perhaps. But given the out-of-left-field-ending, the theme of the book ends up being a rather cheaply bought “No matter how traumatized you are, you can be a girlboss” instead of the message that the very structure of the novel itself was pointing to since page one: one of companionship, trust, and restoration (frankly, a better message for a novel with a main character who suffers so much loss and trauma. But, sure, “girl power” is a theme...I guess...)

Here’s what I mean by the structure of the novel itself pointing to a different theme. (Spoiler warning for the rest of this paragraph). Because the point-of-view switches in the first two thirds of the novel were used by Bardugo like two magnets being held apart, the only way to create a feeling of resolution was, so to speak, putting the magnets back together: getting Darlington back into the “present.” The degree of disconnect between reader expectations and the reality of the book is comparable to picking up a romance novel only to have the two leads decide to just be friends at the end. Bardugo set expectations - akin to genre expectations - but unfortunately Bardugo kneecapped her first book in the service of the sequel.

And then there’s the trauma. Alex’s backstory wouldn’t be the same without some level of trauma; it’s an important part of her character arc. Even the explicit presence of sexual assault on the page was justified in the case of Alex’s backstory - and I think that is rarely true. But when it came to a side character’s explicit in-scene rape, which was used as a clue in the broader murder mystery rather than treated as a crime in its own right, that tipped me over into feeling the trauma in Ninth House was more excessive than necessary for character development. The resolution to that side character’s rape is oddly cartoonish - like an over-the-top prank rather than justice - and again, the only reason the rape happens to the character is to give Alex more information she needs to solve the plot. Maybe that wouldn’t bother some readers, but for me, a book has to bend over backwards to justify showing me a character being raped. Bardugo does well earlier in the book when depicting Alex’s assault; the assault is the explanation for why Alex doesn’t view magic with the same childish excitement as the rest of Yale, and it’s part of what holds her apart from the entitled secret societies. It needed to be in the book. Everything else was gratuitous.

That said, there’s one thing still to address in this roller coaster of a review, and that is: wait, is this a queer book? I had gone into it assuming that it would be, mostly because all my queer friends were reading it. And the answer is….kind of? Knowing Bardugo’s history with putting queer characters in her books, I’m going to assume she wasn’t baiting when she had Alex claim to have loved a girl in her backstory. Which, in the context of the rest of the novel, would make Alex bi or pan. As a book that a lot of queer fans of Bardugo’s YA have read, or will read, it feels appropriate to review it here.

This was a mixed review from start to finish, but to finish up: if you are thinking about reading Ninth House, go for it! There is so much to like about this book. Take to heart that if you read and liked Bardugo’s handling of sexual assault in her YA titles, you should be prepared to be surprised by Ninth House. It is not the same. I would not have called her handling of sexual assault in Six of Crows, for instance, restrained - but compared to Ninth House, it absolutely is. Despite my strongly worded feelings about the ending, Bardugo left room to redeem herself in the sequel (which, if you ask me, is why the ending was so bad in the first place...). I for one will definitely be reading the sequel the second it comes out.

[bre95611]

HI! I’m finally rewatching 15x17 so I’m doing an in-depth(ish?) super stoned commentary! Hooray!

Before I get into it, I just really have to say, god I love this season so so so much. The writing has just been beautiful, and it has me EMOTIONAL af. Anyway. Here we go!

I always like looking at the Then/Now scenes. I feel they can ring some really important storywide context to the show. A great example of this is the Pizza Man montage. This episode it starts with the conversation from a  few episodes back with Dean and Sam discussing Jack killing God.

I’ve found the Dean/Amara relationship very interesting. After how it was played up in the 15x15 Gimme Shelter, always from Dean’s perspective in a joking manner. I believe it was @verobatto-angelxhunter that discussed the Big Married Energy it gave off, Dean teasing Castiel about a woman from his past. Season 11, as the beginning of the Dabb era, has been calling my name for a rewatch lately, especially with Amara being brought back. Its always been established that the connection Dean and Amara have was not something Dean liked. It wasn’t actual attraction. I’ll talk more about this later.

I have made some random posts here and there talking about the symmetry in endings between Season 11 and Season 15, I will also dig into this more later.

Saw a post about the amount of times “world” is said, want to keep track of that. I know there is a heavy Destiel attachment, and the second time it is said is during the Then sequence, Chuck’s dialogue from the episode with the tvs, talking about how its time to clear the board. (Want to look into Chess mentions this season, maybe even Dabb era as a whole? Because obviously there’s been a game going on at the cosmic level for quite some time). It doesn’t show the scene where Dean and Cas in the kitchen comes up on the tv where Chuck calls them “the world”. but it does have that section of dialogue as t screens are being shown, bringing that to mind.

Then we have Meg 2.0 as The Shadow, Cas is confused why he is being harmed since they’re on the same side. The Shadow makes their loyalty known. Keep this in mind. Will touch on this later as well.

Shit this is a lot for the episode not even starting yet. Below the cut for more!

God Amara is a QUEEN and I love her SO MUCH.

Sam tells Cas to “just get home” cause the Bunker is his FUCKING HOME

One thing I’ve seen brought up a lot is how Dean is always very action focused. Solve the problem at hand, “cross that bridge when we get to it” type of mentality. His plans always revolve around that. Cas and Sam are always very focused on there being another way, how there is always another way, especially when one oftheir lives are at stake. Sam calls him out. Sam wouldn’t care if Dean was saying that all the time if it were actually true, wouldn’t wonder if he ever got tired of saying it if they did only ever have one choice. TFW always subverts the problem at hand. Last season, their only shot of beating Michael was the Malak Box. Season 11 was soul bomb Dean, 13 was Dean saying yes to Michael. Ya’ll see a theme yet? Dean loves to sacrifice himself. Sam’s done the same exact thing, closing the Hell gates, letting out Lucifer. Cas’s whole thing in Season 6? They’ve all done the same things. over and over. Hamster wheel. Think of what made all those endings obsolete? What made them find another way, huh?

Fuck that paragraph went somewhere I wasn’t originally taking it, but still a good take IMHO. 

I’m loving the SUITS!

I really hope that Amara is not gone. I know I’ve seen some stuff that talks about why that has to have been her last episode, but whatever. Imma still dream. And I really might have to just write a fix-it fic after the finale about Aunt Amara and Jack hanging out. 

I just noticed world again (Dean to Amara: saving the whole world’s ass)

“You and I will always help each other.” That look on Dean’s face when she said that. Not  the face of someone enjoying being flirted with by and “ex-flame” or whatever the hell

Saw a post about the generational family story that was being told (I believe it was @occamshipper) that basically has Sam is to Jack as Dean was to Sam growing up (Dean is John and Cas is Mary, super awesome read, will try to find and link in a bit). This whole family arc is about breaking the toxic circle, being a better parent than your parents, found family kinda things. So how has Dean reacted to Sam in these situations? Most recently, I think, is season 8, with the Trials. Sam was sacrificing himself, he knew that, he was okay with it. Sam was suicidal by the end of it, and Dean does what he normally does with Sam and keeps him from finishing the trials, and season 9 starts with Dean completely taking away his autonomy again, allowing Gadreel to possess him. Dean was angry, he was disappointed, he acted like Dean, and that is the kind of treatment he gets from his “big brother” father figure. But Sam breaks through his treatment, tells Jack he is brave and validates him, and doesn’t try and take away his FREE WILL.

Sam continues the path he started on when he told Dean to stop as he continuously made excuses/explained why he had kept things from Sam about Jack. He grows!! I love to see it!! He does NOT give up his FREE WILL. Guys I’m loving it. These boys are actively making HARD decisions and we are seeing growth in real time. TFW in every form has...not really lived up to its name? Sure, the world gets free will, but the boys never do. And not just in situations like they’re told they can’t do something. I’m talking constant violations of each other’s bodily autonomy. Dean all the time with Sam, Cas when he takes down the Hell wall from Sam’s mind, honestly....mostly its Sam having it violated. But the other guys have to stop fucking with it. They all need a variation. Dean needs the Free Will to stop being his father’s soldier, to live his true non performative life. Cas needs to be free of his self doubt. Permission to be happy, not happy in and of itself. Jack needs Free Will to be a fucking toddler.....

Sam SEES it dude, he knows something isn’t right, and he’s the one that figured it out like, every other time this season, too. Jesus. Dean is so desparately caught up in wanting to get the hell OUT of the hamster wheel, he’s too blind to see how deep into it he is. The first plan ANYONE gives him, he goes with it. He’s literally followed Billie’s plan because of one of her books before, and what happened? Cas and Sam brought him back from sacrificing himself. 

I’ve really enjoyed how much Sam and Dean are fighting, honestly. Like, my spec for a while now has been that the brothers are going their seperate ways at the end of all this, the only way to satisfyingly bring an impactful end to their toxic codependency that they’ve been chipping away at for the last few seasons.

Guys I’m suuuuuuuper baked,

Dean says “Someone’s gotta be the grownup here” talking to Sam about taking Jack to do the final ritual. Dean is fully his father, talking to the “older brother” Sam protecting the “special child” Jack. Dean is not  breaking the cycle established by his father, going mad with rage over his circumstances

Jesus Christ the LOOK ON SAM’S FACE when Dean says Jack’s not family. I’m dead. He looks so broken.

That line though is.....hm. All through season 14 and 15, its been established that Jack is family, their kid. When Lily Sunder comes back to help get his soul, Dean makes comments about not making them go through what she did with her daughter, and again to Belphegor in 15 when asked who he was (after a fight between Dean and Cas no less, calls him “our kid”). So this is how far Dean has spiralled? This is how he is choosing to try and deal with knowing Jack will die? Denial of his importance?

“He’s not like you. He’s not like Cas.” Dean feels he holds a different relationship with Cas than he does with Sam. Just...sayin....

Jared’s acting is......truly just phnomenal.

Man, i feel like the music is off? and it makes me think its intentional, cause Becky says something about how there’s no classic rock? So foreshadowing? nah.

This really does feel like....the last real Sam and Cas interaction. It is heart breaking really.

Alright, I’m posting this now......cause I literally just got to the first commercial break.... So 

This is pt 1 I guess.

[kendrixtermina]

The Team Dynamics of the Three Houses

Essay time! =D

Part One: Team Makeup and Thematic Framework Blue Lions

Overarching Theme: Classic basic fantasy archetypes but with a dark twist (We have Prince Charming/ Guilt-ridden softboy standard-issue JRPG protagonist, Handsome Lech/Idiot Friend, Standoffish Rival, Gentleman Thief, Lady Knight, Sweet nice healer, Adorable spellcaster Girl, the Gentle Giant etc. )

Composition: Has the most people with crests, and the one guy with a naturally occurring major crest. Foreshadows how the crest obsession is particularly bad here, due to Faerghus’ harsh environment and a society that’s both religious and has a serious element of hero worship

History: Notably the most tight-knit group. Everyone knows each other already. It’s basically Dimitri, Dimitri’s longtime best friends, the daughter of Dimitri’s former instructor who heard lots of stories about him and her super nice BFF who gets along with everyone... and Ashe, who didn’t know the others until the academy, but since he is a honest sweety who loves cooking and knight stories, he hits it off with the others right away. 

Atmosphere: Everyone has kind of the same hobbies (cooking, handicrafts, weapons collecting, knight stuff) and a lot of history, some posters have remarked on missing the “family ambiente” in the other routes but since the bonds are stronger they’re also more charged, it’s also been said that it’s the group with the most inter-team drama, especially when you feature in their relatives - You have Dimitri’s whole character arc, all the family drama between the Fraldariuses and the Dominics, Ingrid’s hangups regarding poor Dedue etc.

As expected if you recruit any of them they’ll kinda have a hard time going after their old home, even the tsundere ones. 

The Leader’s position: For all that Dimitri’s friends refuse to drop his honorifics they really are his friends. They’re just all kinda polite with the obvious exception of Felix, and he’s largely tsundere. Despite the afore mentioned drama we see plenty of Dimitri just hanging out with his friends and even coming to them for help, he’s really just one of the bunch . 

Since Faerghus is in chaos everyone’s pinning a lot of hopes on Dimitri and it’s not like he’s completely unaware of that or doesn’t have the corresponding sense of duty, he’s always torn between that and his revenge plan which eventually just takes over. He pursues this entirely on his own, too, with not even Dedue knowing what he’s sneaking around the library for. 

How this “flavors” part one: Gives it a very “personal” touch. Faerghus, it’s culture, recent past and current state of chaos are fleshed out a lot (we learn plenty about the Alliance and the Empire but Claude and Edelgard have greater scope plans) and since a lot of the part I missions concern the instabilities in the kingdom they affect the characters directly. Basically since they’re more “regular” fantasy protagonists we gotta hit em all with the Drama hammer to keep things fresh. And that’s how it continues - They follow Dimitri because of personal loyalty (both toward him specifically, and because it’s in their culture), and Dimitri just wants to protect (or avenge) the people he cares about. 

How this Ties into The Themes: The Kingdom route eventually becomes very much a Power of Friendship story where they all stick it out with Dimitri in his time of need because he’s their friend and they want to be there for him and that makes a lot more sense if there was a big emphasis on friendship/ found family before that, and of course their friendship is what eventually helps him turn his life around. 

How does Byleth fit into this: Dimitri, like Hubert and Leonie, can be filed into the box of those who aren’t immediately awed by their heroic charisma. He doesn’t really get people who aren’t as outwardly expressive as him (eg. Edelgard) But unlike, say, Leonie, Dimitri has no settings between crushkilldestroy and stilted politeness and seldom expresses or responds to overt hostility most of the time. On the one hand there’s a side to him that’s a bit judgemental and vindictive, but that extends to himself too so he’s very ashamed of his flaws and is afraid that he won’t be accepted, so he projects outward that same acceptance that he likes to receive.

So the end result is that he goes out of his way to befriend Byleth, he encourages everyone to speak with them in a familiar manner, insists that they join the victory celebrations etc. Then of course he gets to see that they’re actually quite supportive and so in time they become, as Dimitri puts it “the heart of the group”.

By the time they find out that Dimitri ever disliked them, that’s long past. He’s a very high-empathy, emotional person so once he likes you he really likes you and will regard your troubles like his own. Some ppl might say that maybe the bond feels more special since it took longer to “earn”. He’s practically ready to swear a blood oath with them once Jeralt dies.  There’s an unappreciated Symmetry here like he goes through the trouble to ‘defrost’ them, and then they return the favor by supporting him through his difficult times when they perhaps get to see the ugliest side of him.

Further Dynamic Notes:

So you have a dynamic of working past/ understanding and accepting each other despite one’s flaws and differences. (whereas Claude and Edelgard are interested in Byleth right away, because they’re unusual, but in slightly different ways - Claude can kinda relate to the experience of sticking out itself but is still stumped by being unable to read them, whereas Edelgard sticks out in the same way  so you’re actually on the same wavelenght to begin with)

“opposites attract” specifically in the way that they balance each other out. A cool steadfast leader type certainly has a grounding effect on Dimitri as a very reactive person, but he also pulls them into the ‘normal’ world a bit after they spend all this time just wandering the world like all places are the same to them. They basically put the magic destiny on the backburner to help him out. They still become archbishop and all to fit the standard fantasy look of it all but not like full messiah like on the church route

Even after the timeskip Byleth kinda plays the mentor role or at least that of the dominant person/ big spoon in the relationship (though Dimitri ends up waaay taler than them especially fem Byleth), “Excuse me this is my emotional support mercenary”

If you go the platonic route you very much stay at „mentor“, Byleth is basically the brains of the operation post timeskip ‘cause the old Mitya can‘t come to the phone right now and Gilbert and Rodrigue would follow him off a cliff

Plot wise, their contribution is to stop the revenge trip when it gets to be a too obvious kamikaze stunt, which they, as a relative outsider to Faerghus and experienced, pragmatic fighter, would do when someone like Gilbert would not

Character journey wise, they refuse to give up on Dimitri and still see the good in him so that he eventually comes to a point where he could envision his own redemption/ come to accept/forgive himself and learn that its okay to move on and live his own life

Byleth can be said to somewhat even out the flaws in everyone‘s leadership styles (while the house leaders help Byleth find their own direction – i didnt come up with this alone there was a brilliant post a while ago that i cant find rn) – In Dimitri‘s case, he has authority/credibility/integrity („Pathos“), being the rightful king with many loyal followers,  and emotional/ personal leadership as an emphatetic person who inspired respect for his character („Ethos“) but is lacking in plans („Logos“)

Golden Deer

Overarching Theme:  Ragtag Bunch of misfits /Unlikely Heroes (let’s see, we have trickster turned lying politician, upper-class twit turned opportunistic conservative, lazy rich girl,  shy glasses boy and his best friend dumb muscle, cursed werewolf girl, stuckup teen genius and the mean money obsessed one )

Composition: Has the most honest-to-goodness commoners - and they largely got in on their own merits, too, while almost all the others had connections. You have a few peeps from the Alliance’s prominent merchant class and one completely ordinary village person whose father was a simple hunter. 

History: Bar the two merchant kids none of them know each other and even they’ve been a little estranged since the demise of Rafael’s parents. There are a few backstory connections (Such as Lorenz’ dad basically having murdered everybody’s dead relatives, or Leonie’s village being in his territory) but they’re largely indirect. They come from a range of different backgrounds and life experiences. Even Claude just showed up the year before and doesn’t know anybody. Of course this is all so you can watch them grow into a team on-screen all leading up to Claude’s epic speech about how they got along despite being from different backgrounds (or be surprised if they show up as one post-timeskip)  

Unlike Dedue or Hubert, Hilda can still be napped early on because she doesn’t really become Claude’s right-hand person until halfway through part oneIf you recruit any of the deer they’ll say that they didn’t have that much ties to their homeland anyways. 

Atmosphere: These are definitely Garreg Magh’s party animals.  Or like a bunch of theatre kids. They’re tremendous fun. “Less complicated” as Claude puts it though some have missed the intensity/drama of the other bunches. The Alliance itself might be full of political intrigues but this younger generation is fairly chill with the important exceptions that are Leonie and Lysithea but Leonie’s lack of chill is largely Byleth-specific, she’s plenty chill in her other supports, and though Lysithea probably donated all the extra chill for the other deer and hence doesn’t have any left, the others  love her anyways wether she wants to or not because try as she might she can’t really get an argument out of them. 

This certainly jives well with Claude’s “friendly surface level extrovert” gimmick they all get along on a surface level and you’ll be hard-pressed to find an ounce of social skills in the Black Eagle house, and the Lions have the Drama Moments, but some have also perceived the deer as not quite as open. 

At the same time they’re not superficial. We have a large abundance of Artsy Ones, we have Ignatz, Claude and Lorenz both write poetry, Leonie isn’t good at it but she does draw etc There’s enough insightful ones for depht and insight to be a significant undercurrent in the group dynamics. They all have different sortts of insight - Hilda can read people well, Ignatz has this sort of intuuitive thoughtful understanding, Lysithea is observant and logically astute, Leonie has street smarts etc. 

The Leader’s position: Precarious. No one knows him, no one trusts him. He just showed up one day, very suspicious timing, not long after his uncle dropped dead (that was Lorenz’ dad but it’s not like anyone knows) and then he’s a shifty weirdo who cannot help being slightly unnerving despite his friendly extroverted demeanor. 

Still he’s a big believer in teamwork, appreciates the value in everyone’s perspective and he can do the friendly extroverted charm well enough to eventually win over most people based on that, though its not until waay after the timeskip that he even considers letting anyone past the soft outer layer.  (In Recruited, Raphael remembers him mainly a lover of feats and merriment)

The longer the story goes on the more the Deer transition to being “Claude’s jolly detective bureau” in which he pulls on all their individual insight for maximum info collection. 

How this “flavors” part one:  It’s taken up largely by Claude’s search for information with the various events being seen in that light.

Claude’s first reaction is often to ask questions and be curious with the emotional response hitting him somewhat later, though it’s definitely also that he keeps up a cheerful face for the team. 

Ironically he’s the only one who came to Garreg Magh for it’s intended purpose: To get a ruler’s education and do networking. Dimitri and Edelgard were already onto Thales courtesy of his having killed their families, him searching on his own, her making preparations for her takeover, and Claude doesn’t know - it’s probably a game balance thing because Claude is the smartest person in the game and if he started out with all the info there would be no plot. 

How this Ties into The Themes: It all builds towards Claude’s big speech about people from different backgrounds coming together. It’s like a microcosm for what he wants to do with the world, to bring people from different places and backgrounds together and have them understand each other.

Lorenz takes until halfway through part II to come around, but come around he does. (markedly, this happens only on Claude’s route, otherwise he sticks with the empire out of self-preservation and opportunism, though he gladly jumps ship to join the kingdom. )

How does Byleth fit into this:  Now I‘ve seen some people saying that Claude initially didn‘t like Byleth or just wanted to use them, but I don‘t think that‘s true. I do think he actually liked them, found them interesting and wanted to befriend them. But Claude, on principle, doesn‘t trust easily, and will in any interaction look at how he can use it.

It‘s a habit born out of both natural curiosity and intelligence (What the 12type eneagramm calls a „Mercury“ Personality type) and the need to survive in a hostile environment where people tried to kill him as a child, and as such it‘s automatic second nature. He has a strong overruling self-preservation instinct.  Claude is suspicious and will interogate people completely independent of how much he likes them. No amount of like makes him trust implicitly.

He doesn‘t have a bad impression like Dimitri, but he doesn‘t immediately click like Edelgard and the curve is pretty nonlinear: With Dimitri we have a clear progression from dislike to like and then the reversal where Dimitri had defrosted Byleth and now Byleth must defrost Dimitri. With Edelgard she likes them immediately out of similarity (like Felix likes Byleth, or like Edelgard likes Lysithea and Petra), and the difficulty/drama only comes later when Byleth‘s connection to the church and Edelgard‘s plots become apparent, but mostly she‘s sad that she‘s „destined“ to be enemies with this person she likes, her level of like never goes down. Claude meanwhile – you might compare him with Dorothea. He‘s used to being able to charm people as well as read them, and Byleth is not only a brick wall, but remains one upon closer examination. They really don‘t know about their past – but Claude takes that as evasions and becomes more and more suspicious.

A big turning point here is the Jeralt situation, where Byleth finally opens up and tells him everything, and Claude realizes they‘re not hiding. And that‘s something I really love about their dynamic – Byleth tells him all and Claude is so interested in them and looks out for them.

Though you could assign each of the three a „turning point“ after which they open up - The diary for Claude (which shows him that Byleth really isn‘t hiding anything) Flayn‘s dissapearance for Dimitri (which convinces him that Byleth cares) and the holy tomb scene for Edelgard (which shows her that Byleth won‘t betray her)

Further Dynamic Notes:

Claude and Byleth relate because they both stick out, but it‘s notably about the experience of sticking out in and of itself, whereas in Edelgard‘s case they stick out in the same way. They’re also alike in that they only found out some secrets about themselves when they were already young adults, Byleth’s magical destiny, and Claude finding out he was related to the ruling house. From how he mentions “not being raised in the lap of luxury” and how his royal connections in Almyra are also “distant”, he might in fact have been raised in a normal village and not known he was the king’s bastard son for some time, though once the secret was out he definitely got some princely instruction like training with Nader. 

The dynamic both interpersonally and as an action duo is very much a complementary one. Dimitri is very different and has that sorta morality chain dynamic going on. And though they each have their specialties that the other is lowkey jelly of Edelgard and Byleth actually fill a fairly similar niche as the charismatic superhumanly powerful field commander. Meanwhile with Claude there’s a division of labor: Claude’s the planner and Byleth’s the enforcer. He repeatedly observes that his plans would be way less effective without someone of Byleth’s caliber to carry them out.

Out of the three lords Claude is the only one where you get the sense that Byleth works for Claude post-timeskip or that Byleth becomes his subordinate. Dimitri’s lost without them, and while Edelgard offers them a formal position as royal advisor after the mock battle and gets this line about how they can’t yell orders at her in public now that she’s the emperor, but it’s phrased in such a way to suggest that she just wants them to yell orders at her discreetly. They certainly balance out Claude’s presentability/trustworthyness problem the way that Hubert quickly puts them in charge of morale to patch Edelgard’s PR shortcomings, but Hubert pretty much says this to Byleth’s face whereas Claude is the only one who knows where the ship is going for the majority of verdant wind. And in the end he’s like “Babysit fodlan for me while I finish world peace” He’s also the dominant one on an interpersonal level, he gives Byleth this speech about how they should use their position more confidently and promise to detective out their mysterious past for them. He also tries dropping hints that maybe Rhea’s not to be trusted though Byleth’s dialogue options are written to suggest that they bought her maternal act and want her back – some ppl said but this way really expositions that „well meaning deception“ aspect of Claude‘s character. He frequently steers ppl toward something they don‘t want but with the hope that they‘ll want it eventually. Perhaps he could be said to have a very fluid/dynamic view of things and people; The other two lords view them more as fixed, hence „I respectfully disagree… lets settle this by stabbing each other“ 

The platonic end result is your basic Epic Friendship, tell each other everything, very supportive, look out for each other, take down a zombie warrior together in an epic team attack, what more could you want I think I‘ve made a whole post about what a good friendo Claude is, initial ulterior motives nonwithstanding… He certainly had strategic advantages in the back of his mind but I don‘t think he ever faked liking Byleth

Plot wise, having The Messiah on his team gives Claude a bargaining chip to seize control of the church with its greater influence. On the other routes, he wisely refuses to touch that particular hot potato with a ten foot pole.

Character wise Byleth‘s influence largely serves to mitigate his jaded cynism. He starts to actually believe his far-flung dreams might happen, so he plays far less defensively than on the other routes.

Claude is smart and charismatic („Logos“ and „Ethos“), his main problem is that nobody trusts him. This is a bit more dimensional than just a flaw though, because he hides his real goals (though they are not truly sinister) both to avoid fights with people who would oppose these goals (contrast Edelgard who declares her intentions openly and deals with the fallout, so she has to fight the knights whereas claude manipulates them) and get the chance to gradually convince them and reveal the truth once ppl agree, also he‘s more a tactician than a strategist and often changes his plans in accordance with what he thinks is doable under the circumstances, and not telling what his plans are gives him the freedom to do that – either way, a downside of that is that no one trusts him. He lacks credibility and, having shown up out of nowhere, has less loyalty and support. Byleth, as a chrch-sanctioned charismatic figurehead, naturally mitigates that.

Black Eagles 

Overarching Theme: Subverted Villain tropes. We have Emperor Evulz / mad science supersoldier, Black Mage classic,  Seditious Chancellor Junior, Sexy Mage, Eccentric Scholar, Pretty Barbarian, Fighting Obsessed Blood Knight and Antisocial Sniper

Composition: It‘s nobles all the way down, even the one commoner used to be famous and is from the capital where all the wealthy ppl live (as opposed to the decentralied alliance and the very spartan kingdom nobles) – The capital‘s a heaven for culture and sophistication but you also see the evident elitism/corruption/inequality problem going on. In keeping with Adrestia being more secular, Ferdinand‘s the only one who‘s explicitly stated to be a believer (in the Marianne support) and he‘s not even super devout

One should also appreciate the irony that the side with the ‚saintly‘ crests is now against the church whereas Faerghus, ruled by the descendants of Nemesis‘ former allies and where he used to have his stronghold are now fighting for the church. But should you go with the church route it also makes a kind of sense as they‘d be goig back to the empire‘s distant origins in a sense.

History:  They all vaguely know/ have heard of each other due to their parents being co-workers or living in the same town, many have at least met each other but at the same time they‘re not BFF like the Lions and many take a bit to warm up to each other.

Another thing of note is that while many of the Lions‘ families were also friends and have been associates since the days of Nemesis, many of the backstory connections for the adrestian studenrs would seem to predispose them to being foes rather than friends, half their dads‘ essentially dethroned Edelgard‘s and are various degrees of complicit in what happened to her siblings, Petra was basically taken hostage by the previous administration, Dorothea has good reason to have beef with the local rich people etc

Atmosphere: I‘ve seen some ppl who played the other routes first say things like how they were struck by how individualistic they are and how there‘s far less team cohesion, or how they „all seem to hate each other“ - I don‘t think that‘s correct assesment but they definitely are quirky, independent-minded or both. They scamper off in all directions when introduced and definitely don‘t bother with formal politeness or friendly facades, if they‘re annoyed with you most of them will probably say so. Even Bernie gives Ferdinand a lecture once XD They‘re basically goth. Though I do think it‘s sorely underappreciated that there definitely IS friendship and admiration between them esp. later in the story, admiration & appreciation being key factors especially since they‘re none too easily impressed.

Of course being independent minded makes it likely that they wouldn‘t blindly follow a leader who‘s up to no good, but it would make them just as suitable to participate in a rebellion

Another thing of note is that while the Kingdom nobles all learned to hold sharp objects in the nusery and many of the deer have street smarts or survival experience having had to live through tough circumstances most of the Eagles are complete greenhorns when you first deploy them – sure many have seen their share of effed up stuff but not in a warlike setting. And you have many of the sensitive/reluctant ones like Bernie, Linny and Dorothea. This of course could either make you think twice about the church sending them on missions or predispose you toward Flayns brand of pacifism.

Of course this just leads to Hubert and Edelgard (and to a lesser extent Petra) to clearly stand out as the experienced ones. El-chan and Hubie dear have most definitely killed a man before. The rest of them will definitely have to measure up to pick up the slack after the two of them leave.

The trajectory certainly goes differently, in CF they all return notably more confident after the timeskip (most notably with Bernie) perhaps in keeping with how Edelgard believes in & promotes self-reliance whereas in Silver Snow they never quite stop being like „AAAAA“ though I suppose the point is that they get their act together and do the deed regardless.

The Leader’s position: Absolute both in terms of power (sorry Ferdie) and dynamics. Definite ‚student council president‘ vibe, she largely interacts with them as a taskmaster/ to make them do their homework. She markedly doesn‘t like this and would like to be one of the bunch but genuinely finds it hard to step out of boss mode.

She does try her best to cultivate an equal atmosphere and for what it‘s worth most do drop the honorifics and tell her when they disagree.  

How this “flavors” part one: The emphasis is certainly on expositioning how much everything in the setting sucks especially on the church‘s horribleness, I mean in the end if she‘s essentially like „We‘ve all seen it this past year“ but of course there‘s also definite foreshadowing that sHE is up to something, there‘s certainly peeps who picked her ‚cause she‘s pretty and she looked more put-together/less obviously dodgy than the others but then didn‘t personal taste wise jive with her character. The whole scene after Jeralt‘s death is definitely a point where you either decide you hate her or love her forever; You get both „WTF“ and „I get it“ type of dialogue options.  

How this Ties into The Themes:

No matter what route yo pick you essentially get a story about going your own way and putting right what the previous generations done fucked up – wether they do this by leading Adrestia back to its holy origins, or by backing Edelgard‘s revolution.

On a political level they either go against their homeland or the previous administration, and personally they‘re all sorta expected to take over their parents‘s job and follow these expectations of proper nobility that they have no interest in and many of them renounce their titles or cut ties with their folks. Only Ferdinand particularly wants his fathers job and even them he means to do it very differently. The happy ending, for most of the eagles, is getting to choose their own paths

How does Byleth fit into this: 

Mostly, they shift the team dynamics from Edelgard as the absolute leader in a lofty, distanced position to her coming closer to being „one of the group“ working under Byleth.

There‘s a reason she later names her elite troop the „Black Eagle Strike force“ in honor of their time at the academy. This is almost the bigger difference, because Byleth isn‘t there for the timeskip. The big change is caused by creating this situation where all the black eagles leave with Edelgard, so she knows she can trust them and having real allies needs the slithers less.

It‘s very hard for her to step out of boss mode for reasons ranging from her personality, backstory, monarch obligations and fear of vulnerability, but having Byleth be the boss for once helps. Some of her most formative experiences were a) Her family betrayed by almost all its allies including her own uncle b) being helplessly dragged around as a hostage. She wants to avoid being helpless ever again at all costs and thus grew to be a very proactive decisive adult which is mostly a good thing but can cause her tome come off blunt and unyielding at times. I mean when she‘s worried that Hubert, her best friend, is hiding some worrysome secret from her she‘s like „Tell me that‘s an order!“ and when he expertly sidesteps that (since he knows her well and understands that she wouldn‘t actually force it out of him) she‘s stumped and doesn‘t know how to tell him that she‘s worried about him – and this is a guy she knows since forever. With the other eagles she really looks out for them but can only really show it through her „leader“ persona, she has this one trick, and when it doesn‘t work (like with Caspar or Linhardt who don‘t really want anyone to boss them around or talk politics) she‘s stumped.

This is hugely mitigated when another person of her caliber shows up with whom she can share the responsibility or even leave it to them so she learns to allow herself to be soft and do stuff like admit her doubts, this starts with Byleth but also radiates into the other relationships. See Caspar and Linhard revising their bad first impressions of her later in the support chains

Further dynamics notes:

A recurring theme is being misunderstood (outright stated in the introduction and that one quote by ladislava – and also in the church route dialogues where Seteth says that „the people will never understand her ideals“ ) and finding someone who understands, which is different from Claude and Dimitri who ultimately want the world at large to understand and accept them. Edelgard has given up on that long ago - her version of the „pep talk“ scene implies she thinks its impossible to truly understand anothers sorrow – I like to think that after her siblings died she found great comfort in Hubert being „not much for condolences“ and talking plans rather than sympathies while everyone else was showing pity for something they couldnt understand. Dimitri is basically traumatized (he relates to Dedue about losing everything and thats why they‘re so tight knit), Claude is basically an outcast and relates to all that dont quite fit in, but Edelgard… yes her family‘s dead much like Dimitri‘s, but in addition to that, she has been through an indescribable science fiction fantasy thing that no one has any context for. She views herself as so altered that she considers herself a whole different person and her past self basically dead. Hence someone like Byleth or Lysithea who could relate to all that is very, very tempting to her – we‘re not told if that‘s the truth or just her perception though, Hubert doesn‘t note her being extremly different, and later on she kinda admids that she herself distanced herself from other people.

Likewise the ship dynamic is ‚birds of a feather‘. Edelgard tells you right away: She feels that she and Byleth are similar and is drawn to them because of that. It‘s not just the mad science background,  both are stoic natural leaders with a bit of a dorky side. This goes both ways – While others are often mildly stumped by Byleth, she can read them pretty well and gets a lot of dialoue like „wow you‘re telling the truth“ or „I can tell you‘re lying“ - that happens so often that it‘s even used to hint that she‘s the flame emperor.

If you had to name a dominant person it would probably be Byleth but overall this combination is disntinguished by being relatively equal and balanced. She likes having Byleth‘s support but repeatedly mentions wanting to support Byleth as well  - As she says after the big mock battle, „sometimes its better to have someone to rely on to support each other through the darkness“. Team dynamics wise they feel a similar niche – the abnormally powerful, stoic charismatic leader who inspires many followers and is a gifted field commander. When they‘re not allies they are foils after all. But as pointed out in their A support despite their similarities each of them have their own particular strenghts that the other envies – Byleth is a better tactician and ultimately better at moral support (though their time powers help). On the flipside, Edelgard is more proactive whereas Byleth struggles with that, and at least her 22 year old self probably has more raw strenght (judging by her stats total and how they‘re evenly matched in the church route reunion cinematic though she isn‘t using her preferred weapon)

If you don‘t marry her then the note the A support ends on would suggest that Byleth sorta gets adopted as a honorary big sister/brother with how El asks them to use her childhood nickname and just lampshading the sense of kinship between them – the platonic outcome is a family bond, which buils as much on similarity and alikeness as their romantic outcome

Plot wise, Byleth‘s presence gives Edelgard something that she wouldn‘t otherwise have: Reliable allies. This means not just Byleth themselves, but the other Black Eagles whom she feels are more firmly on her side as they never defended Garreg Mach from her assault. As she puts it when she tries to recruit you as the „Flame Emperor“, the slighterers will go around causinga strocities but with the sword of the creator on her side she could courttail that better and generally has less need to coorperate even for purely pragmatic reasons so she is free to weaken them ahead of time, kills Cornelia right away rather than work with her etc. Interestingly this is why the front lines are actually further back when Byleth returns than they are in the other routes, but then the war ends the quickest.  

Character journey wise, Edelgard goes from being convinced that she has to give up everything to be a tough leader to allowing herself to just be a person, cummulating in the ending where she pulls a washington/cincinatus, abdicates and gets a normal life.

In terms of leadership style, Edelgard has „Logos“ and „Pathos“ to spare, she‘s described as a remarkable leader who inspires remarkable devotion and has a cause/ rationale – but she‘s got her weakness with inspiring loyalty on an interpersonal level. The followers are loyal to the cause – Edelgard herself is perceived as unapproachable and shady/unsavory, see Dimitri‘s rant about how she‘s „strong“, or statements by herself and Ladislava that people tend to misunderstand her. As a superhuman science experiment she is by definition not a „relatable“ leader. So once Byleth proves trustworthy Hubert immediately puts them in charge of morale and of support/pep talking the reluctant recruits.

(In part II we‘ll get into decision making processes but I think here we have to separate by route rather than house since it’s most evident post-timeskip and dependent on plot events.)

Team Dynamics and Decisionmaking

Empire Route

Here, there is a very clear distinction between inner circle and outer circle. Edelgard and Hubert have their own thing going on and once you prove loyal, you’re in, and you get to see a whole different side to both of them, Edelgard lets down her guard, Hubert acts polite and sympathetic where he was previously suspicious and mocking, and they basically tell Byleth everything, including the unsavory pursuits that they keep secret from everyone else – but overall the secrecy, maintained for realpolitik reasons, never truly stops. Basically those three make all the decisions.

Notable is that if you’ve recruited Lysithea she hovers on the threshold between inner and outer circle. She was fed the cover story of the nuke being a church weapon (though she did’t buy it) but WAS told about the secret assault on Arianrhod. This is prolly cause Edelgard likes her, she can become her main advisor in their paired ending.

Kingdom Route

Dimitri describes himself as as someone who thinks change should come from the people and that the leadership should serve them, for all that he prefers to uphold the basic order of society, and this is reflected in his leadership style – though this also reflects that he is a ‚people person‘ rather than a planner, so the plans are left to his advisors like Byleth, Gilbert and Rodrigue. He is more the emotional/ spiritual lynchpin than the mind or will of the group.

In Azure Moon, especially later on, the decisions are really made by the entire group and you see them considering their next step together. Dimitri spills the backstory as soon as it comes up, telling everyone about his relationship with Edelgard for example.

In early part 2 this is at an extreme in that Byleth, Rodrigue and Gilbert are de facto making the decisions and Dimitri is at best a grumpy figurehead that they‘re putting up because they need him as a symbol, but at the same time he doesn‘t really compromise on his revenge obsession and is just dragging the whole team along/ not really reacting to how they are making him the lynchpin for their hopes. (though it is important to note that he didn‘t ask him too either – they decide to follow him out of friendship or loyalty to his house) yet inwardly Dimitri too is blindly following what he believes are his obligations.

A huge turning point is when he returns after the whole rain conversation and Byleth gets to ask him some variety of „What do you want to do“ in which Dimitri makes a step toward both inner and outer self-directedness, but precisely because of that becomes are more complete/better consensus leader.

I also want to stress that Claude and Edelgard LOVE togetherness and cooperation and equality as concepts every bit as much as Dimitri does they want to be one of the team but they find it difficult. And of course Dimitri’s style has its own flaws too

Alliance Route

While the Blue Lions decide everything together and either variation of the Black Eagles setup has an „inner circle“ that makes the decisions, in the Golden Dear that inner circle is basically just Claude.

Even Byleth doesn‘t find out his plans until part two, and it‘s later still till he comes clear with the team (and still doesn‘t reveal all but points to Cyril as a stand-in) Hilda and Lysithea are discernable as preferred right hand people, and Byleth and Marianne as special confidants, but in the end Claude rarely shows his real self and only he knows the plan. If Hilda and Lysithea pick up alot about him and his true self it‘s because of how observant THEY are and how much Hilda is basically a lot like him.

Claude does all the thinking and motivates followers (from Lorenz to the random merchans who support him) by promising them things they want – because even if he can‘t trust peopöle, he can trust their self-interest.

Church Route

Since you are with the church that is ideally a sort of benevolent parental authority under the supposition that people need guidance and that‘s a good thing it is perhaps fitting that though Byleth winds up the nominal leader, this is actually the route where they are more of a follower. They do watch Seteth says, who is doing what he believes is his duty and mission, and we have Flayn as an innocent, pacifistic voice.

They lost their dad, and the Nabateans are a sort of surrogate family. (wether its one that youre born into or marry into, the wiord „family“ is stressed) – they are the „inner circle“ making the decision and the empire kids, ragtag misfits estranged from their homes, follow. On the one hand they‘re going against their home country on the other they have the saint‘s blood and Adrestia USED to be church aligned so it also makes a kind of sense.

Among the Adrestian kids themselves, Ferdinand and Petra get a chance to shine as the ostensible leaders. They are stalward, competent leader-like people in CF too , but there they are more overshadowed by the much more experienced Hubert and Edelgard.  - Though when you think about it they are like „pure hero“ versions of them who were never forced to become as cold and pragmatic. Ferdinand, like Hubert, is a nobleman from a storied family who is proud of it but wants to fix its tarnished reputation from his corrupt father. Petra, like Edelgard, is a former political hostage who experienced hardship at a young age and worked her way up all on her own, being very serious and competent despite her young age. I prefer the version where they stay buds rly.

It‘s worth noting that Seteth, ‚Heir of Purpose‘, sees it as their families duty to protect Fodlan and is the only one really doing that – his brothers noped out, and Rhea, uneknowst to him, twisted „protect“ into „rule/subjugate“. One might question who gives him the right to decide things because his mom is magic but on the other hand he really is 100% benevolent and I see no sign that he has any greedy intentions especially in in Silver Snow, all the countries collapse and someone needs to keep order, he doesn‘t understand what the empire‘s doing and why just sees their agression and really is rising to the challenge of upholding peace because something needs to do something about the violence. He had withdrawn to protect his daughter but then in the end he‘s the last one who is really doing what Sothis would have wanted. He looks most like her too having the slightly darker, ‚spikier‘ hair.

Further Thoughts

I’m curious to see how Yuri, the Ashen Wolves, and Cindered Shadows compare/contrast to this and i theyll manage to make the dynamics sufficiently different so that its neither a carbon copy or a blabk mary sue ish superlative. 

I mean the other routes are so interesting to dissect because its a tradeof and all have their own flavor so really CS would do better to try to be “different” or, better yet,  “complementary” than “better” or “cooler”

[orionsangel86]

Some honest thoughts...

As many of you know, I have tried to remain very positive lately about the show and the current direction. I have always tried to speak my mind and not mislead my followers especially regarding a topic that we are all so very passionate about. This is why I want to write down some things that have played on my mind lately. 

Long post under the cut

I have always been honest about my analysis of the show, and what I interpret as I watch. What I don’t think is made clear enough by many of us meta writers is that sometimes the direction of the show changes, sometimes the change is slow, sometimes it happens abruptly. All we can do is let the show guide us. We let the meta guide US, rather than force it to fit our preferred reading.

The one thing I have always tried to avoid, regardless of what idiots on Twitter might claim, is confirmation bias. I will not let my desire for canonically romantic Destiel endgame affect my meta reading of the show. I ALWAYS force myself to see other perspectives and usually, the show still pleasantly surprises me by loading the subtext with Destiel themes.

I have written several posts on the topic lately to remind you all of my current stance:

My view on canon endgame Destiel (plus additions by others)

My view on the business side of things

My last meta piece on endgame themes in Season 14

Since the announcement that Season 15 was the last, I have suffered a whole range of emotions, and many of those were relating to my fear over Destiel. My desire for it to be brought to text is shared by so many of you, I am just another fan like any of you who desperately wants this love story honoured and done RIGHT. My optimism has constantly jumped up and down from episode to episode, from one PR release to another. I can’t make up my bloody mind. 

I’m scared. 

I’ll probably be mocked for saying that. I half expect the assholes to grab hold of this post when I’m done and use it to twist my words and attack Destiel shippers with. The one thing you can always count on with absolute certainty is the predictability of the bronlies and *others* who have recently aligned themselves with them. I’ll blow them a kiss now and be done with it.

This isn’t a post to announce a *change* of heart as such, but like @tinkdw wrote this morning my optimism on endgame romantic Destiel is currently at a low point.

Ever since the end of the S12/13 escalation after 13x06, I have had this horrible voice in the back of my head telling me that such an abrupt change of pace probably came from higher up. Suddenly jumping from a heavily romantic Destiel arc to zero Destiel focus was extremely jarring and confusing enough even for the general audience to be confused with.

Since then, whilst we HAVE had quite a nice helping of Destiel elements in the show to keep us going, the lack of follow up on that escalation at THIS point is starting to concern me. There is still definitely intentional subtext being laid down for us to enjoy, but in my opinion it has fallen back into the realm of plausible deniability and the characters can easily be viewed as platonic friends/brothers.

Instead, there has been a drastic increase in the focus on found family and the Winchester family unit lately - centering around TFW being the parents of Jack. Sam, Dean, and Cas have all been presented as three equal father figures to their son, the majority of PR has treated the three show leads very equal, and this in itself is amazing for a show that has so often side lined Cas in previous years. This is still a hug win for anyone who sits in camp “Cas is a lead and this show is more than the brothers”.

I always used to say when Dabb took over, that this was a good thing for Cas fans. I still maintain this stance. Cas is more present than ever as an equal to Sam and Dean, and sure they have their disagreements, but his character journey is integral to the brothers journey now. There is absolutely no way that this show will end without the three of them together - whether in life or in death. If it does, then I will be flinging my laptop into the wall in utter despair. 

The latest episode was a heavily emotional send off for Mary Winchester. I was expecting her death, though for a short time there I hoped that perhaps it would  be subverted. I feel like she was honoured well, but at the same time I am upset that she was given no choice in the matter, and I will never fully be satisfied with her death as on a very basic level, it was yet another fridging. I also recoiled at the idea that her heaven included John Winchester - after an early season build of a potential new relationship with Bobby (one that was heavily DeanCas coded) this is another change of direction that left me blinking in the headlights. It is another element that has shaken my faith in the show’s ability to logically plot story direction. The one comfort I can take here, is that the John from Mary’s heaven was NOT the actual soul of John Winchester, but a happy memory of him. Mary’s heaven’s front door clearly only states her own name. Her and John have never been actual soulmates - just forced soulmates for heavens purposes. I can’t berate Mary on her happy memories of her marriage, but from a narrative perspective it feels like a regression of sorts, put there purely for sentimental purposes. Had it been clear that it was John’s soul, it would have been far worse and I would be in a far worse frame of mind right now.

I have seen some really great meta on this latest episode talking about how Mary’s death has shown once again the difference between Dean and Cas, and Sam and Cas, and how Dean’s extreme emotional reaction to Cas’s desperate attempt to shelter Jack and the brothers from further pain indicates an emotional bond between them beyond the realm of platonic friendship and brotherhood. I really want to agree with this reading. I do. I can see it, and I agree that this could potentially lead to a discussion between them that is desperately overdue. 

But I can also easily see this being overlooked. I can see Bucklemming stomping into the story next episode with their gigantic clumsy boots and crushing all of Bobo’s delicately weaved plot full of call backs, mirrors and poetic symmetry. I can see the DeanCas *conversation* that we have been eagerly awaiting now for nearly 2 whole seasons being once again left behind. 

After the series end announcement, I looked back at several episodes that aired recently, and I speculated that the writers have known this since at least episode 300. Too much of what has been said in the scripts since is obviously a message to the fans. Therefore, everything we are currently watching is also already “the endgame” because the writers at this point should start wrapping up loose plot threads and focusing on finalising the character stories. Setting things up for the big finale.

This is why I believe 14x14′s shock end with Michael being destroyed so easily by Jack happened. I seriously doubt that is how it was originally supposed to go. They needed to clear the path for Jack rather than having various different plots running simultaneously like they usually do. 

This is also why I am slightly anxious about Cas’s Empty deal. If this becomes a thread picked up for season 15 great, but I can also see them easily resolving it in some outlandish way to instead focus on whatever big final story will be the focus in season 15. I would love Cas’s deal TO be the focal story, and if this happens, I will also regain faith in a romantic Destiel subplot, but I am wavering. 

Since the writers knew when writing the current run of episodes in season 14 that the season would wind up and prepare for the endgame, if they intended Destiel to be brought to text, I was expecting something more than what we have got. Perhaps I’m just finally burnt out, but frankly I don’t think that the way Dean treated Cas in this latest episode read as a lovers spat, I don’t see intentional romance being coded into their scenes together, and I certainly don’t see any indication from Jensen Ackles in his acting choices that Dean is struggling with a deep love for Cas vs his grief over the loss of his mum. I see loss, and anger, and an outstanding performance yes, but his treatment of Cas was far too cold. In fact, when I look purely at Jensen and Dean over the past season, his interactions with Cas have all been rather cold in my mind. I’m sorry to say this, and I would welcome anyone reaching out to me to point out examples where this view is incorrect. But compare his interactions with Cas to any interactions with Sam, and the difference is obvious, and not in a good way. 

Misha, on the other hand, as always, has spectacularly portrayed Cas’s love for Dean in such an outstanding and heartbreaking way. Throughout this episode his anguish was so evident. He took my breath away, and that final scene when he tries to go to Dean, but Sam stops him, that really made me want to cry. 

So I am still confused, and concerned, because where I see Misha continuing to act his heart out in favour of the love story, I see nothing of the same from Jensen - not since early season 13 anyway. If Destiel was truly on the cards, shouldn’t there be more in the way of early season 13? Are my expectations really so high to want something more than mere one sided scraps?

I need to stress here that I understand the many excuses given towards Dean’s sometimes offish behaviour. He represses his emotions, he hides his feelings, he comes across angry when he is worried. He gets aggressive and violent when scared. I know all of this and will accept this IF the next two episodes SHOW me that he is ALSO capable of apology, of the kind of care and feeling towards Cas that he always gives to Sam. 

Because we HAVE seen that softer, more loving Dean regularly in Season 14. We have seen outstanding performances from Jensen in that respect - but only ever towards Sam, or Mary, or occasionally Jack. He has never shown Cas that same treatment. Again, I appeal to you, especially to other meta writers, to point out clear examples of where I am wrong. Because I really really want you to change my mind. Show me where Dean is obviously looking at Cas with clear romantic love, where the music sweeps and his face betrays his emotion the way it does for Misha whenever Cas is with Dean. 

Of course, there is a rational argument here. That this is all done purposely specifically for the Destiel drama. If this is the case then GREAT. I want it. Believe me I do. But we have two episodes left of this season and one of them will be a huge mess of pacing, action, clunky plot and terrible dialogue, and the other will be the finale which appears to be mostly taken up by Chuck’s return IMO. I can’t see any DeanCas outstanding drama being resolved in the next two episodes. I really REALLY want to be wrong. But if they don’t resolve that DeanCas drama by season end, then IMO the story between them will remain familial. Because a Dean Winchester coming out story in the final season alone just isn’t plausible. 

Again, I stress that I want to be wrong here, but the writers knew the end was coming when they wrote these last few episodes, and if Destiel was something they were doing, then they would have written it into the end of this season. I’m not saying I need a canon reveal, but I do need something more than the scraps we have been given if I am to have my faith rekindled. 

Don’t get me wrong, I adore all the focus on found family, and I fully expect season 15 to further push the Winchesters to finally show to Cas how much he is part of their family. I even think there is a good chance that we could get his name carved on the table by final season end - following that heartbreaking shot of Mary’s initials next to her son’s in 14x18. But I don’t see it being romantic, if there is no romantic push coming up. It is far too easy right now for the show to reinforce the notion that Cas is another brother. I do love that the story is developing down a clear path where Cas will likely choose to be human and live a human life with his brothers, but brothers is all they will be.

I really hope I am wrong, but in amongst all the speculation of this big Destiel reunion and conversation that is long overdue, I can’t help but remember that we have been waiting for this conversation for nearly two years. Just because fandom remembers and holds on to the overtly romantic S12/13 escalation doesn’t mean a general audience will remember this. They will only see the present, and in the present Dean and Cas do not act like a romantic couple. If another long hiatus goes by without that conversation having occurred, it is yet another gap in which the general audience will forget, and the writers will be able to drop it as they have always dropped it previously. 

This is endgame, we can’t afford to have the deancas important plot points dropped anymore. We can’t afford to have their conversations, and apologies, and moments of making up, left in the subtext. We NEED to have that stuff shown the way they show it if it is Sam and Dean. 

If they aren’t planning on doing that, then I doubt there will even be a “Destiel” plot to meta about. It will remain in subtext, as scraps, and maybe something ambiguous right at the end as a saving grace in order to not completely destroy the shows legacy once complete. 

The further we move away from any substantial Destiel elements, the more and more likely it is that a CW exec already pulled the plug on it. As much as I love Bobo, and still enjoyed this episode for its melancholic poetic beauty, his own bitterness over Wayward Sisters still shows clearly in his writing (in my opinion) and I don’t believe he truly has his heart in it the way Steve Yokey does. I sometimes wonder if his lack of passion for his episodes recently is to do with more than just the loss of Wayward Sisters. Could Bobo also be upset about a “no” on Destiel?

The saving grace here being that Yokey still fills his episode with passion and plenty of queer coding. Yokey is the other person on the writing team who I focus on in terms of accusations of queerbaiting. Yokey certainly wouldn’t queerbait his own community, but unlike Bobo where there appears to be a certain bitterness over his place on the show, Yokey still embraces his role and seems very happy with it. If they had truly been given a red light from the execs, then wouldn’t Yokey also be feeling kinda pissed off that he is working on a show that is potentially going to go down in history as the biggest queerbait since TV began?

Aside from Bobo, which can be explained by Wayward Sisters, there is still passion and joy from the writing team, and if they were truly aware that Destiel wasn’t happening, I don’t think they would be so proud. So maybe there is still hope after all? They aren’t the kind of people to intentionally queerbait their fanbase. Yet Destiel has definitely been an intentional part of their storytelling for years. 

I truly hope that the next two episodes rekindle my faith, but right now I have very little hope for textual romance. I am still 100% on board with the found family, Cas is definitely a Winchester and third lead focus that the show has been pushing. It brings me a lot of joy. But yeah, I need a lot more than we are currently getting if Destiel is really still on track. 

Sorry guys. Perhaps I am just not quite out of my rough patch this week. I am fickle enough that by next week I could have totally changed my mind again, but as always. These are my opinions, not to be inflicted on anyone else. You are responsible for managing your own expectations. This is how I manage mine.

xxx

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 107: Mindful Education

“But it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not, but it’s not.”

Here Comes a Thought is anything but a bad song. I can’t think of any songs I dislike from this show, but if I did, Here Comes a Thought wouldn’t be one of them. It’s a simple and moving ode to calming down, and Estelle and AJ Michalka elevate its message through their otherworldly voices.

But I do think it’s the most technically flawed song on Steven Universe. Which is a real bummer of a way to start this review, but I’m about to heap a ton of praise on this episode, and I don’t think the lyrical flaws ruin the song, let alone the overall story, so let’s just get my issues out of the way. If Mindful Education is about anything, it’s about confronting problems head-on!

Here Comes a Thought is a general song about a general problem, which I appreciate. I don’t need it to be specific to Connie’s dilemma, and in fact I think specificity would hurt the message. But my biggest gripe is that even though it speaks in broad strokes, none of the scenarios listed apply to Connie. “What someone said, and how it harmed you”? Connie wasn’t hurt by words. “Something you did that failed to be charming”? Connie wasn’t attempting to be charming. “Things that you said are suddenly swarming”? Connie didn’t say anything. We’re all the way to the refrain, and Garnet has yet to address the actual situation Connie is dealing with.

The closest we’ve got is “failed to be charming,” which again, implies that Connie was trying to impress someone rather than just going about her business and hurting someone by instinct. The phrasing is clumsy in a way Rebecca Sugar’s songs virtually never are: what I love about her lyrics is how natural and effortless they seem, which I’m certain comes from quite a bit of effort on her part. The sentence structure of “Something you did that failed to be charming” feels strained and unnatural, but the words must be said in this order for the rhyme and meter to work.

Which is doubly frustrating because the alarm/harm/charm series ends with swarm, which does not rhyme with the former three words in any dialect of English I know of. I’m not even a stickler for rhymes: for instance, “alarm me” and “charming” technically don’t rhyme either, but they sound similar enough that the pattern holds. But swarm uses an entirely different vowel than most other English words ending in -arm. I majored in linguistics and can get into serious weeds here with the International Phonetic Alphabet, but to make a long ramble shorter, the ‘w’ preceding the vowel alters it, which is why wart doesn’t rhyme with art and war doesn’t rhyme with bar and warn doesn’t rhyme with yarn and so on.

(This obviously doesn’t make Sugar a bad songwriter, any more than William Blake was a bad poet because he rhymed eye with symmetry in The Tyger. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean nobody’s incredible.)

Anyway, I might be fine with this imperfect rhyme it if it was absolutely essential for the song, but the structure is so forced already to fit with this poor fourth rhyme that it sorta falls apart for me, especially because swarming comes at the moment it becomes clear that this song has said nothing about the issue Connie is personally dealing with.

Ugh. I’m losing sight. I’m losing touch. All these little things seem to matter so much that they confuse me. This song might lose me!

So yeah, I’m not insane enough to think that Here Comes a Thought was engineered to irk me just so the beautiful refrain can be a self-demonstrating affair in not letting small things like rhyme schemes get to me, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t work. The song builds and builds and builds the stress by presenting bad situation after bad situation, and right when everything seems like it will fall apart, Garnet has the answer.

This is a highly quotable song and episode, so I had a lot of great lines to choose from for the header, but I don’t think anything matches the sheer relief that ironically comes from Garnet’s repeating a negative phrase. She usurps the power of “no” away from anxiety by chanting that no, nothing bad is going to happen. Her knowing smile on the last “but it’s not” seals the deal. She’s not just a teacher here, she’s a sage.

This is Estelle’s first full song on the show since Stronger Than You, and she pulls off subdued chill just as well as glorious anthem without losing an ounce of her commanding presence. But now she's fully matched by AJ Michalka, another professional singer that doubles as a voice actor. Unlike Estelle, I hadn’t listened to any of Michalka’s music before watching Steven Universe, so despite knowing she wa a singer, the sheer power of her pipes came out of nowhere for me.

I honestly don’t know what it is about Michalka’s voice, but I’m lousy at crying even when I really want to because it would make me feel better, and that voice doesn’t just choke me up. It makes me weep. The quavering vulnerability in “I’m losing touch” destroys me no matter how many times I listen to this song. Just writing about it makes me emotional. Michalka tells a story not just with her words, but the tone and levels of confidence of her voice, and the lesson is learned by harmonizing with the master herself. On the one hand, I’m glad her voice’s heartbreaking purity isn’t diluted by constant performances, but on the other, I’m not sure it’s possible for something so intense to be diluted. Add in the prominent harp, a fusion of the plucking from Steven’s ukulele and the gravitas from Connie’s violin, and I’m done for.

(My tendency to cry whenever Michalka sings might have to do with how well she’s primed on both occasions in the series: Estelle is a hell of a lead-in, while Escapism is introduced by a stirring callback to Greg’s guitar from Lion 3. But it’d be stupid not to credit the source, considering she’s the one that gets the waterworks going and she’s been spectacular at voicing Stevonnie from the start. It’s a damn shame Catra doesn’t get a song in She-Ra, but at least Michalka does a cover of the theme song.)

I haven’t even talked about the animation from Takafumi Hori, who gives a unique but familiar flair to the mindscape of Garnet and Stevonnie and their components. The facial animations and body language are given extra room to breathe, and the use of butterflies as symbols of fluttering stresses (butterflies in your brain are so much worse than butterflies in your stomach) pays off huge when we see them explode from Connie’s backpack. The unspoken story of Ruby focusing too hard on a single problem while Sapphire is overwhelmed by possibilities works wonders, and the fact that Connie’s problems are initially hidden hints at Steven also hiding problems, seeing as the kids are mirroring the Gems. Colin Howard and Jeff Liu would’ve been more than capable of crafting such a sequence, but bringing in a guest animator makes us pay special attention to this pivotal song.

Because yeah, this is an important song for Connie, but this is still Steven’s show, and it’s a huge song for Steven. In a brilliant development, it turns out his strangely normal behavior after the salvo of traumas at the end of Act II was intentionally strange, and Here Comes a Thought drags him kicking and screaming towards the true path to inner peace. You can’t, as he advises Connie right before Garnet steps in, “just try not to think about it.” The only way out is through, and it’s not gonna be easy.

Every fantastic aspect of Mindful Education benefits from fantastic pacing. Connie’s bad mood is established immediately, but so is Steven’s straining to be fun and upbeat. A series of questions pull us along: “What is Connie upset about?” becomes “How is Garnet going to help?” becomes “What is Steven upset about?” becomes “How is Connie going to help?” without missing a step. Both kids make us so worried, because Connie’s bad mood is out of nowhere, and Steven’s acceptance of his suffering is long overdue. Both sensations are heightened by the preceding episodes, as Steven has been acting way too okay with his mom being a killer, and we know Connie was enthusiastic about school in Buddy’s Book. So it’s such a relief to not only see their worries addressed, but to have an entire episode about addressing worries.

After three goofy episodes, Mindful Education transitions us into a more serious mood with a similarly goofy opening. Sure, Connie’s attitude is cause for concern, but we still get Garnet’s enthusiasm and sign-making skills, Stevonnie’s newfound ability to do a Yoshi-style flutter kick hover, and the most glorious fusion dance ever depicted on screen.

Here Comes a Thought is a showstopper about calm meditation, and while it obviously soothes Connie’s anxieties, it also quiets down the silliness without making a big deal of it: there isn’t a single gag in the episode during or after the song. This is a show that can and has pulled off humor during dramatic moments, but we go full sincerity mode for Connie and Steven working through their emotional turmoil, and considering how big of a turning point this is for Steven’s arc in particular, I appreciate the restraint.

It’s perfect for Steven to only realize he has a problem when Connie is so open about hers, because Connie has always been a catalyst for change, and Steven is more concerned about others than himself. It also serves for a checkpoint for their mutual character growth: we’re a long way from the open-to-a-fault Steven and pragmatic-to-a-fault Connie of Bubble Buddies, and their series-long balancing act continues to bring their attitudes closer together. This isn’t the last we’ll see of Sullen Connie, and it’s nice to see that Steven isn’t the only kid on the block who’s becoming more of a teen. 

Another sign of their growth is shown in the fluid action of Stevonnie’s training; even when they’re not on the top of their game, Steven and Connie’s developing physical skill is on full display as their fusion weaves about the battlefield. Stevonnie’s ambidexterity functions well as a signifier of which kid is in a healthier state: Steven’s shield is in their right hand in the first training session, while Connie’s sword takes its place in the second.

(Oh, and on the subject of subtle visual storytelling, don’t think we didn’t notice the damaged pink diamond floating above the Sky Arena.)

The first two acts of Mindful Education tell such a complete story about Connie that the appearance of a butterfly for Steven almost comes across as a twist: again, his terrible advice about bottling up emotions upon accidentally hurting people is a pretty big hint that he’s pushing down his feelings, but this is such a satisfactory episode already that its conclusion feels like a bonus. 

It’s harrowing for Steven to start working through how much horrible stuff has happened in such a short amount of time, but it’s oh so satisfying for us to finally see him process it. The transformation of Holo Pearl into Jeff (who I’m sure is named for Mr. Liu) was a neat way to show Connie’s guilt, but it’s complemented by a punch to the gut as Stevonnie impales an image of Bismuth instead of just getting thrown off by the illusion. And because Steven has let his problems pile up, the rest of his ghosts flood in. I love the inclusion of Eyeball, the foe that Steven logically should feel the least amount of guilt about (Bismuth was a friend, and Jasper refused help while blaming him, but Eyeball was an enemy actively trying to kill him). It shows that he really does care about everyone, and that the compounding problems only make the guilt worse: Bismuth and Jasper begin in their normal sizes, but Eyeball is massive in Stevonnie’s imagination. And then, as a horrible distortion of her theme heralds her arrival, we get the most important ghost in the series.

Obviously Steven isn’t able to deal with the Rose factor right now, but acknowledging that there’s a problem is the first and hardest step. And despite how talented Aivi and Surasshu are at enhancing the mood with music, there’s nothing like the stark silence that follows Rose’s theme to bring the impact home.

AJ Michalka once again shows off her talent for voicing Steven and Connie separately as Stevonnie has an internal conversation; it’s such a seamless interaction that it’s easy to forget that this scene shifts from one actor voicing these two characters to two different actors voicing the same two characters as Steven and Connie plummet to the ground. I mentioned in The Answer that my favorite Miyazaki movie is Castle in the Sky, so I’m thrilled to see another reference to two heroes falling hand in hand before slowing to a safe landing.

Our conclusion isn’t about Steven coming to terms with three failures in a row and a life-changing revelation. It’s about him realizing that it’s okay to admit that everything isn’t okay, and that he doesn’t have to put on a bald cap and be a ham to make everyone else more comfortable. This is something that friends can help with, but that he ultimately has to figure out for himself. Still, it’s beautiful that by working together, he and his best friend become strong in the real way.

But of course, they had help. I mentioned in Back to the Moon that our Big Three Crystal Gems each get an episode that acts as an epilogue to their Act II arcs, and it’s Garnet’s turn. Garnet begins Act II as a leader who’s quiet about being a fusion and who has a hard time understanding the anxieties of her less confident teammates. By the end, she transforms into a leader who’s more open and willing to share her own vulnerabilities, and a loud and proud fusion no matter whom she’s interacting with. Mindful Education leans in hard on her expertise in fusion, but just as importantly shows that she’s willing to coach others by revealing how Ruby and Sapphire work through struggles. Her growth is less overt than Amethyst and Pearl overcoming more obvious hurdles, but it’s still hard to imagine Garnet being this capable of helping Connie and Steven fifty episodes ago.

Garnet is also the source of two intriguing callbacks in the form of quoting past lines. The first is the wonderful “Hold the phone. Now give the phone to me,” which Steven tells Greg in The Message as a means of interrupting his song about Lapis Lazuli being a super mean riptide queen (sidenote: I’m sure Lapis would be flattered by Greg’s assessment). Garnet repeats this phrase right after Steven suggests that you can get used to not thinking about your guilt, and it’s a brilliant way of gently putting a stop to this bad idea.

The second is a pointed “that is to say” as she explains the importance of harmony within fusion. This is a common enough phrase, but it was so prominent in fellow sparring episode Sworn to the Sword that I can’t imagine it’s a coincidence. It connects Garnet to Pearl’s role as a teacher to both Steven and Connie; fortunately, this time the teacher is instilling a message of self-reflection instead of self-sacrifice.

I call these callbacks intriguing because Garnet herself wasn’t present for either scene containing the lines she’s quoting. And sure, this could just be standard screenplay magic without an in-universe explanation. But to me, it enhances the sense of Garnet as an all-knowing mentor, at least as far as this episode is concerned. Her wisdom is absolute, and it might be pretentious for a show to claim such certainty with its message, but Mindful Education has an outstanding message, so I’m all in.

But back to that ending for a second. It, like Here Comes a Thought, provides a calming answer to a scene of turmoil. It’s obviously a quicker moment of relief: just a glimpse of Stevonnie laughing, catching their breath, and reassuring Steven and Connie. However, like Here Comes a Thought, the episode keeps going. This time, in the form of the end credits. 

Since Bubbled, we’ve heard nothing but ambient waves as the credits roll, bereft of the comfort Love Like You has provided after nearly every prior episode. But now we begin the reprise, and this first segment is such an eerie departure from the norm that serenity once again takes a backseat.

With time, it’s revealed that this song is just more Love Like You. But in this period of uncertainty in Steven’s life, I deeply admire the decision to keep us lost in the woods for a while before figuring out that it’s something we’ve known all along. Just a thought.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Remember my gripes with Here Comes a Thought, way up there at the beginning of the review? Yeah, they don’t keep this out of my top ten.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

When It Rains

Catch and Release

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

No Thanks!

     5. Horror Club      4. Fusion Cuisine      3. House Guest      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[aelissah]

Prologue

Saving Sinafay - Part 1

Sunrise in Stormsong Valley woke a nameless peace in Grakkar. Perhaps it was the verdant, rolling landscape that reminded him so much of Nagrand. The human settlements on the horizon notwithstanding, it felt like home. He wondered if that was why he enjoyed his station there so much. The partial familiarity, interwoven with the excitement of the new experience, gave the Orc this feeling of contentment he couldn’t quite name. And yet… it was that same familiarity that ushered in a taint of sorrow. Nagrand was gone, now - the Draenei had taken it.

The tinge of sorrow he felt had multiplied with each passing Stormsong sunrise. He knew every day spent here was one more day his beloved Sinafay had to spend in enemy hands. And as tenacious as he knew the Vindicator to be… he wasn’t sure exactly how many days would be too much. Each sunrise he saw here could’ve been the last she’d see there on Draenor.

He grunted, brow furrowed as he turned from the sight of the sun cresting over the rolling hillscape. He didn’t feel like worrying about such things anymore. The time for it had passed; now was the time for action.

The first steps towards saving Sinafay started now.

“--Lissah.”

He called out, descending from the hilltop back down into the small cavern at Windfall. The outpost the two of them had built together had flourished. Horde troops, quartermasters, and wyvern tamers moved in to utilize the encampment as a full-fledged reinforced Horde foothold. They had everything they needed there. And anything more they could possibly want was only a short trek down the hill to Warfang Hold. Windfall Cavern was fully operational.

It was the perfect time to leave.

“You said you had something that could take us directly to your city, yes?” he inquired, eying his violet-skinned scouting partner over. “Today’s the day. We shouldn’t waste time.”

Aelissah’s silver adorned ears flickered, and she looked up from the inventory list as Grakkar addressed her. She’d left him to decide the best time for them to travel to Suramar. A test. She was curious to see if he would chose to abandon their post out of impatience, or if he’d wait for the proper troop numbers to arrive and help secure the foothold. She was pleased to discover he chose to do the later. It showed her he could make proper decisions, even when faced with an emotional dilemma.

She knew he wasn’t being entirely honest with her. There was no way someone would risk such a complicated, dangerous and near impossible mission for a ‘good friend’. Going back to the very place he’d barely escaped with his life? No. That was love. Whether Grakkar believed it so or not didn’t matter. That was how Aelissah read the situation.

And that was why she wanted to help him.

The inventory list was handed off to an ugly little goblin as she got up and pulled a clear crystal from her pouch.

“This will create a portal to my home in Suramar,” she explained, “I live alone, so it should be vacant. From there, we will travel to visit a friend of mine, much better versed in the arcane. I have been corresponding with her, and I believe the only thing she will require of us will be to gather the necessary reagents.”

She held the crystal up, palm open and recited an incantation in her native language. Immediately, the crystal began to glow in an arcane light, before the magic it contained spilled out in front of them, forming in the familiar shape of a portal.

“It will close once I step through, so I will wait for you to go first.”

The Orc grunted affirmatively as he stepped up to the portal. His eyes stayed on Aelissah for a moment, as he gave her a firm nod. Grakkar had only met a few elves since arriving on Azeroth. Aelissah was an honorable one; years of experience told him so. He hadn’t expected anyone to be kind - or foolish - enough to help him in this seemingly impossible task. But her assistance made the endeavor seem that much more attainable.

His eyes turned then to the portal, watching it’s arcing, shimmering magics pull the two points together as one. The distortion made it hard to see clearly, but he could make out the basic outline of a room, presumably in the Nightborne’s home. He drew in a breath, and stepped through to the other side.

The journey felt like minutes, but took mere seconds! Grakkar tensed, grimacing at the surreal sensation of being translocated in such a way. He wasn’t used to it at all, even through his service to the Horde thus far exposing him to a myriad of portal usage. It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t comfortable either. To think some people utilized this mode of transit regularly! He growled as he stepped through to the other side, taking a moment to regain balance and bearing. He blinked his eyes, as details started to slowly come into focus. He hated this sensation - a momentary helplessness in disorientation.

He’d take saddle sore over that any day.

The magical doorway vanished as Aelissah stepped through the portal behind Grakkar. The home was dusty, evidence that it had been some time since the Shal’dorei had lived here. It was rather simple looking, with an ornate table and mirror, along with a chair in the corner. A glowing arcane marking on the ground where the portal had manifested was the only thing illuminating the room.

She stepped passed her partner, opening the door to a lovely hallway, lined with paintings and family pictures. Her mother, father and many siblings, it appeared. Some were of a younger version of herself next to a man. Clearly a spouse or romantic partner, though there appeared to be no sign of anyone else living there.

She didn’t pause to glance at anything, as though she had completely detached herself from the setting. Straight to the main door she went, only taking pause before leading them into the city.

“While the Horde are allies here, not everyone out there is used to seeing other races. Many will stare and ask questions, but no one will attack you. Try to be polite, and let me do all the talking. Some may test your temper, but it is imperative that you remain calm if you wish to save your friend. Understand?”

It took a moment for Grakkar to respond, as he found himself distracted looking at… well… and actual house. Dust notwithstanding, the room and hall seemed so uniform and rigid. Clean, to an uncomfortable fault. He furrowed his brow, taking nameless issue with the symmetry and manufactured perfection of it all. It reminded him a little too much of Draenei architecture… and not in a good way.

His eyes lingered at one picture in particular - clearly a young Aelissah, beside another youthful, handsome elven male. Probably a male, he guessed, still not familiar enough with Nightborne physiology to tell for certain. Still, she and he were rather familiar in the image… he nearly reached out to pluck it from the wall for closer inspection...

“--Hm?” Grakkar grunted, quickly dropping his arm back to his side. “Mm. Zug-zug… I’ll follow your lead.”

He gave Aelissah a firm nod, closing the distance to keep up right behind her before she opened the door out into the city itself.

The home was on the second story of a large building, a set or stairs leading down into the busy streets. Usually, one would have difficulty navigating during this time of day, the markets filled with denizens. However, the pair moved through the crowd rather easily, as people quickly moved aside to gawk at the large Orc. Some had never seen one for themselves, only hearing tales of the Horde army helping with the resistance. They had all left after Elisande fell. It wasn’t a sight anyone was used to. The denizens certainly didn’t try to hide their judgemental expressions. Some of the children even dared walk up to try and poke Grakkar with a stick. Orcs were recognized as allies, but rarely were these savage looking creatures seen walking the streets of their great city.

“Pay them no mind,” Aelissah walked at a quick pace. She wanted to get to their destination quickly, before Grakkar lost his temper.

After many confusing turns and archways, the buildings cleared into a courtyard of some kind, a large and ornate structure stood before them. Arcane energy permeated the surroundings, felt by even those without affinity. That’s where the pair was stopped, guards at the main door refusing to let them in.

“Let us pass. I have an appointment,” Aelissah spoke in her native tongue. She didn’t mean to be rude with Grakkar, but also didn’t want him getting angry at the words the guards were saying about him.

“You’re not entering the facility with that -thing- in tow.” The one on the right answered, pointing clearly to Grakkar with a distaste, “Ally or not, you can’t just bring it anywhere in the city! We have sensitive materials in here that can’t afford to be broken by clumsy savages.”

She huffed in impatience, “If you won’t let us in, at least be useful in bringing Circadia Dial'nieth here to speak to us. Tell her, Aelissah Ambroise is here to see her.”

She crossed her arms and looked at them expectantly. It was a long shot, but she was desperately trying to avoid a fight.

“Is there a problem?” Grakkar asked bluntly - but even without speaking the eloquent elven language, he already knew the answer.

Such puny guards; Grakkar towered over both of them, even with their clean and shiny armor, thrumming with the excess and wanton magic he felt in this maze of stone, metal, and glass. Getting here had been an ordeal on its own, between the piercing looks and not-so-hushed whispers he knew were about him. The bustling crowd the two had to cut through, albeit without too much difficulty, still left Grakkar extremely on edge. He prefered his solitude; one or two companions, tops. To be so cloistered and surrounded, especially by prying, judgemental gazes, set the Orc immediately into a defensive, disgruntled mindset.

But he held it together well, so far. He thought, anyway. All for Sinafay. It would all be worth it…

These guards weren’t making it any easier, though. He could tell by their looks that they took issue with him. With what he was. How satisfying it would be to crush their puny skulls in their little thumb-sized helmets, or rip those ridiculous ears from their heads and add them to his trophy necklace… But that would only prove them right. That would only set him back further from saving Sinafay. So he held.

For now.

One of the Guards turned from miss Aelissah Ambroise and her savage companion, drawing an enchanted crystal from his pouch. Mutterings in his native tongue were hard even for Aelissah to hear or understand, as he spoke into the enchanted item. A moment later, he turned back to the group… and sighed.

“... Arcanist Dial’nieth will receive you in the western conference room.” he informed Aelissah, glancing judgmentally to the Orc beside her. “You and that… thing… are permitted there and nowhere else. I trust we’ll have your cooperation. I’m certain I don’t need to explain what a failure to comply will bring about…”

Grakkar didn’t understand a word of it… but looked to Aelissah for the moment. He watched her closely for her reaction, fully prepared to act accordingly.

These smug elven guards weren’t going to come between him and saving his beloved.

Aelissah’s ears lowered as she looked to Grakkar. He was doing well considering, but she could tell he was like a ticking time bomb. If he started a fight here, the mission would be over before it even had a chance to begin.

“A slight altercation, but I believe we can work through it,” she assured him.

Time seemed to stretch on forever as the guard moved away to speak into the communication device. She didn’t show it, but she was getting restless herself. If they were refused, she’d have to try and sneak Grakkar in somehow… not an easy task. The thought of it stressed her out enough that she let out a relieved sigh when the guard returned with the good news. She visibly relaxed, ears lifting to their normal position on her head.

“I understand. You have our thanks,” she bowed her head to the guard before turning to her partner and explaining in Orcish, “We are being allowed in, but you must absolutely not leave my side.”

With that, she passed by the pair of sentries to take the quickest way to the western conference room.

Grakkar was quick to follow, keeping by Aelissah’s side as they entered the strange structure.

What was this place? The very air made his hair stand on end, tingling! He couldn’t shake an odd, sour taste in his mouth. His nostrils flared, feeling as if he’d snorted a breath of sand. Looking around, he saw… nothing. Strange lights, and elves observing them. Intently. He tried to do the same, in passing, curious what it was that seemed to fascinate them so. But… he couldn’t make anything out, besides a violet glow. He huffed - magic nonsense. At least it kept their eyes off of him.

Most of their eyes, anyway. A few turned and eyed Grakkar suspiciously - gasping faintly, as if he were carrying a bloodied corpse through a sacred site. It clicked-- perhaps this was a sacred site to these elves? One of their temples, perhaps? It certainly felt like it; numerous elves all dressed the same, peering into light to see visions or gain wisdom…

He frowned deeper. It was feeling FAR too much like a Draenei city all over again.

The western conference room was empty - at first. Grakkar looked around as he followed Aelissah inside, expecting… well, something. He got what he expected after a brief second, as the doors closed behind them. The center of the ceiling descended, hovering down off the ground as a large conference table. Chunks of the wall levitated out from the walls, twisting and turning until they took their places around the table as chairs.

It was an impressive display - or it would be, likely, to anyone else. The sudden movements in the room itself surprised the orc! Already on edge, he reacted quickly, drawing his axe from his back and swinging down at the nearest shape that moved towards him! One of the chairs was cleaved in half instantly as he brought his axe down, leaving only a shrill, melancholy reverb in the air behind it. Grakkar snarled, as everything finally fell into its automated place, and he realized what was happening. He turned to look at Aelissah, unapologetically.

“Hmph. At least it was just a chair, yeah?” he grunted, sheathing his axe.

More movement caught his eye, grip still tight around the handle of his axe as he watched, at the ready - as he’d proven! A shimmer of magic opened a portal, and another elf stepped through into the room across from the two of them. This one was female, Grakkar could tell - with such a lithe frame, fair face, and vibrant bronze and blue dress cut low enough to reveal what seemed to be a universal female trait shared by sentient humanoids across the worlds. She looked a lot like Aelissah, Grakkar thought - thought they all looked more or less the same. This one wore fancy adornments on her ears, and a monocle over her right eye. Tattoos of various foreign shapes and symbols were glowing brightly off what skin of hers was revealed on her face, above her chest, along her arms, and her midriff. She looked at Grakkar immediately, and smiled - seeming to be the only elf in this entire city who wasn’t surprised by the sight of him!

“--Oh, good. You made it through, this time.” she said, simply, before looking to Aelissah.

“And you made it back! Timestreams where you ever bother to come visit me here again are growing scarce…” she smirked, approaching her friend. “Welcome home, Lissah.”

Lissah smiled, taking Circadia’s hands in hers and giving them a light squeeze.

“It is good to see you again, though I am not here for long. My partner, Grakkar, has an important quest to undertake, and I will be helping him do so.”

She wondered how much Circadia already knew about her reason to visit. She clearly recognized Grakkar. An interesting feat considering she had never met him.

At least, not in this timeline.

She was a skilled chronomancer, but that came with getting timelines mixed up and confused.

“We need to return to Draenor… the timeline the Mag’har Orcs came to us from. He has a close friend that must be rescued. Any help you can give us would be greatly appreciated.”

“Hmm…” Circadia hummed, idly swinging a small silver pocket watch which hung from her wrist.

She looked Aelissah over for a long moment… as if looking for something specific detail. She knew Aelissah well enough, after years of working together. Most recently (in this timeline, anyway) they worked together during the Dusklily Revolution - contributing in their own ways, of course. Circadia hardly had the finesse Aelissah did. But her arcane talents were considerable.

Still, Circadia scanned her dear friend over appraisingly, silent for a moment. ‘Does she know…?’ she wondered...

Then, her gaze turned to Grakkar. The Orc remained rather on edge, despite the unique treatment he received from this particular elf - in fact, the warm reception after a painful journey of glances, whispers, and dirty looks, Circadia’s smile and familiarity only made him that much more uncomfortable. He snarled at her as she looked his way, narrowing his eyes and baring his teeth. This one reeked of magic - they all did, even Aelissah. But this one’s scent of it was as pungent as a wet clefthoof. Sickening, almost!

“Hmph. You speak as if you know me, elf.” he growled, defensively. “I don’t--”

“Grakkar Gorefang, yes?” Circadia interrupted. “Son of Grek’thar, descendant of Korhn the Spinereaver. You’re of the Warsong clan, and proud of it - though what Warsong wouldn’t be?”

The Arcanist stepped closer to Grakkar, confidently - unintimidated. Her eyes never left his… pocket watch never ceasing to sway in steady rhythm.

“You haven’t told your partner here everything about Sinafay, have you?”

Grakkar’s glare turned; a look of panic replacing it. His eyes shot wide, as his frowning lips loosened to allow his jaw to simply drop. Lineage was one thing - but this? How could she know? Quickly, the Orc looked to Aelissah, and shook his head. He had to tell her now...

“I-I… I was going to tell you when--” he started, stuttering.

“Sinafay’s no mere friend of Grakkar’s - she’s his mate!” Circadia declared, again interrupting the orc.

She followed up her revelation with a sing-song laugh, exaggeratedly tilting her head back and covering her mouth as she walked over to circle around Aelissah. Grakkar sank, a subtle sigh escaping him. He nodded slowly.

“... Yes… that.” he affirmed, looking sheepishly to Aelissah.

His eyes flickered past her to Circadia as she moved behind his scouting partner… catching the Arcanist wink as she brought a finger to her lips…

Aelissah was well used to her friend’s odd words and behaviour. Watching Grakkar’s range of emotions interacting with the Arcanist was rather entertaining. While the Informant wasn’t magically inclined, she grew up with a very rich exposure to the arcane and as well as the abilities those capable of wielding its power had. Grakkar, it seemed, had no such exposure.

She raised an eyebrow as his ‘friend’s name came up. She couldn’t help but laugh. Wondering why the orc had even tried to keep that a secret. It was obvious in the lengths he was willing to go to rescue her, that she was much more than a good friend. Her being his mate made a lot more sense.

“I figured as much,” she giggled, “Though it’s nice to have a name to go on, now.”

She turned to Circadia, “You know of the portal Grakkar came through. Are you able to connect to that link and send us there?”

Circadia hummed to herself again, thoughtfully. Her pocket watch swayed to and fro in steady rhythm - upon closer inspection, the pocket watch’s hands spun in a much more chaotic method. Circling one direction, then the other, out of sync and back and forth at random… it was odd to see it do so while the swinging was so perfect. Circadia then, abruptly, looked at Aelissah, and nodded once.

“Of course I am!” she smiled, proudly and with confidence. “And to answer your next question, I can also bring you back.”

She gave a light, melodic laugh, before she stopped the pocket watch from swinging - she held it out before Aelissah, the object sparkling with an arcane flair. She nodded once, succinctly, to her Informant friend.

“You’ll take this.” she stated, rather than offered - as if it already happened. “It’ll be your only means to return.”

With that, she stepped past Aelissah, and looked at Grakkar once more - a serious-yet-gentle expression suddenly painted on her face. Grakkar raised his brow, and narrowed his eyes, still not entirely trusting of Circadia, despite everything she seemed to know…

“She is alive. I’ve seen her.” she assured him. “Be warned, though - in all the time threads I’ve seen of her… she doesn’t have much longer. She’s being held by the Exarchs, just outside Shattrath.”

Grakkar growled. The Exarchs… Draenei elite that drove his people from their homes and left nothing in their wake but the stench of the Light. He’d already lost one love to the Draenei Exarchs… he couldn’t lose another. But hearing Circadia say she didn’t have much longer hit him hard - the Exarchs weren’t known for taking prisoners. His shoulders slumped some… until Circadia brought her hand to gently cup his face.

“Take heart, Grakkar - there is a thread where you save her.” the Arcanist told him. “And it starts right here. Right now.”

From her hand, Grakkar felt a spark of energy. As Circadia pulled away, a faint bronze shimmering image of the Orc was pulled away from him. Not his soul, or any Arcane clone… but rather an essence of his origins… of Draenor. The image floated stoically to the corner of the room, before exploding into a swirling vortex - a portal. The room filled with a familiar scent - ash, dirt, a desolate breeze of char and metal… Grakkar recognized Gorgrond immediately through the rift! He stepped towards it, almost instinctively, before looking to the Arcanist. Circadia’s eyes were aglow with a golden-bronze light, as she weaved her magic to sustain the rift through to Draenor. Still, despite the immense effort and focus it took to keep the portal open, she managed a smile at the Orc.

“Go on, Grakkar! Sinafay awaits! I’ll see you again soon.”

Grakkar nodded once to Circadia, before looking at Aelissah. He smiled, with excitement, and gratitude - she’d held up her end of the bargain, bringing him here to someone that could actually do it!

“Ready, Lissah?” he grunted. “You brought me this far… a little further, yeah?”

Aelissah watched in awe as the portal manifested. Despite living in the city her whole life, this was something she had never seen before. She was surprised… though she really shouldn’t have been. Circadia had been more prepared for their arrival than she expected.

She felt for Grakkar, hearing that his mate was still alive but didn’t have very long. She prayed they wouldn’t be too late and that she wouldn’t be beyond saving.

She hadn’t been able to save her husband...

The informant shook the thought from her head. She had never told the orc her reasons for wanting to help him. His plight resonated with her. If she could save someone else from that fate…

Her thumb moved over the strange pocket watch… their only way home. Her gaze set on Circadia, imbued with the bronze glow of chronomancy. For a moment, she considered asking her friend if she already knew the results of the mission they were undertaking, but thought better of it. Some things were better left unknown.

“Let’s do this,” she replied with a nod, tucking the vital item away in her pocket.

With a deep breath taken, she stepped through the portal into the unknown world beyond.

Grakkar turned to follow Aelissah through, with renewed determination this was it; this was happening! He looked once more to Circadia, and nodded.

“Tha--”

“You're welcome.” the Arcanist cut him off again, both demonstrating her foresight, and rushing the Orc along.

He saw it in her face; features straining from the intensity of holding the portal open. Recalling the Dark Portal they constructed during his tenure with the Iron Horde, he realized how much work and power it had taken to open that rift in the first place. Binding the Shadow Council as conduits, and fortifying a structure to hold it open. Yet here was a lone Nightborne doing the same thing by herself! The realization shook him, in that moment… and his gratitude to her grew tenfold. Another nod, and he quickly stepped through, not wanting to strain her any further…

As the orc vanished into the other world, Circadia dropped her channeling and breathed a heavy sigh. Telemancy was tough on own…  but opening portals to other worlds? She only could do it for as long as she did thanks to the Nightwell. She sat down, needing a moment to recuperate. Her eyes flickered over to where the portal was… her smile dropped to a concerned frown.

“Hmm… I hope they make it back this time…”

~*~*~

(( Co-written with @thefugitivemango / @grakkar-gorefang ))

[wiseabsol]

WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 6: Timing

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/6/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.  

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 25 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 6!

CHAPTER 6: TIMING

Alright, let’s see if I can review chapter six before the day is out. I’ve got five hours. I can totally do this! So Zuko, Mai, and Lu Ten are vacationing on Ember Island, which is also where the asylum is. This is already not a great combination. I think it’s pretty funny that Mai’s palanquin has more black on it than the other two, although that defeats the purpose of it being ambiguous who is in which palanquin if someone chooses to attack their procession. Yes, they are less likely to all be wiped out in a single strike this way, but someone could still target any one of them and still achieve a devastating amount of damage. Mai is heavily implied later to have fertility issues, so taking out Lu Ten might mean there would be no heir to inherit later. Mai is the spymaster, so taking her out would cripple Zuko’s administration. And taking out Zuko would throw the precarious peace the Fire Nation now has with the rest of the world into the refuse bin. So the consequences would be nasty any way that that attack could go. Related to this, the royal family being this small means it’s very vulnerable. Sure, there’s Iroh to fall back on in case something happens to Zuko, Mai, and Lu Ten, but Iroh no longer has his own heir. He could potentially legitimize one of his bastards to solve that problem, but he doesn’t know any of them like he knew Lu Ten. Ozai and Azula are non-options as well, as far as most of the world is concerned. And there are no uncles, aunts, cousins, or other blood relations for the throne to pass to outside of these people. If another noble family wanted to overthrow the royal family, they wouldn’t have to go through that many people to get what they wanted. Sure, the people they would have to get through are powerful, but they could feasibly accomplish it if there was, say, a rebellion of the magnitude of Robert’s Rebellion against Targaryens in ASOIAF. It could be done if they had the right candidate to rally around. But back to the chapter. There’s an interesting political undercurrent going on where Ember Island is concerned, and Zuko’s initiative in dealing with it pleasantly surprised me. Mai deciding to use this opportunity to take a vacation and look for more “knives and stilettos” for her collection made me chuckle, and the mention of Sokka’s space sword was great. I’m imagining Mai presenting it to Sokka with just a hint of smugness now. Gosh, Zuko and Mai are cute before shit hits the fan in chapter seven. Him holding up a parasol for her and her exasperation about him “roughing it up in exile” made me smile. Also, Lu Ten is cute with his “white gold” eyes. I do have some doubts about him being a firebender, though. For one, it seems like him not being one would throw a serious wrench into Zuko and Mai’s dynastic plans, which could be interesting to explore in “Thrones.” Second, given that Mai isn’t a bender and Ursa wasn’t one either, there’s around a 50/50 shot that Lu Ten isn’t. So it’s both a reasonable possibility genetically and intriguing plot-wise, so I’m leaning towards him not being one at present. I also have a theory that a certain other child will be legitimized by Zuko later on, adding another wrench into the already complicated works. But I’ll get to that in later chapters. “‘Love you, bye’ [ . . . ] Was that really how Lu Ten would remember his father? As someone who was always leaving about some official business?”—This is actually really sad, because I imagine that while Zuko worried about whether he would be a good father or not, he does genuinely love his son and want to have a connection with him. “Once he convinced his people that an honorable peace was worth sacrificing a century of ill-gotten gains.”—Very nice symmetry in this line here. “He still wanted more.”—I have an AMV you should watch in regards to that, Zuko: (slash)watch?vS6fNJ79evn8. Also, that song is very appropriate for the conflict in “Dominion” in general. “He didn’t look forward to the prospect of wearing so much clothing in this heat, but if that succeeded in getting his opponents to take him more seriously, he supposed it was worth the imposition.”—Or you could strip to get your opponents to take you seriously. Oh wait. “Mai could almost understand why Lu Ten never tired of playing with [Zuko’s crown]. Beyond the fact that Zuko didn’t often allow him to.”—This makes me remember how Azula allows a certain child to play with her crown later, so this is a nice bit of (probably) unintended contrast. “/Wake the baby, and you die/”—Lol, Mai. Okay, so basically none of the loyalists want to meet up with Zuko to discuss how the Fire Nation should be run. And while he and Mai are discussing it, she says, “Not everyone’s as honest as you” and I want to laugh myself sick. Mai goes over some of the reasons why the loyalists are refusing to meet with him, then volunteers to help him with the negotiations. We also get this cute line, “She had thought there must be something wrong with him, when Zuko told her [her grimace] was her most endearing mannerism.” They have such a wholesome relationship here. It would be such a shame if something happened to it. “‘I know,’ Mai sighed dramatically, ‘sometimes I doubt my own judgement’”—I’m both laughing at that and pitying her, given later events. Okay, so Zuko expresses that he sometimes feels as if Azula wouldn’t have these kinds of problems ruling like he does. Technically, he’s right—the loyalists would much rather have Azula as their ruler than Zuko (if they couldn’t have Ozai, that is). But rather than continuing to reassure Zuko, Mai shuts this conversation down with snide remarks about the other problems Azula would have, namely being crazy. Which is unfair to both Zuko and Azula, even though I get why mentioning Azula set Mai off like that. In response, Zuko asks her, “‘Will you honestly pretend you never had /any/ regard for her at all? [ . . . ] That you /hated/ every minute of it?’” After which Mai actually admits that she was fond of Azula—the line “‘And she actually had a sense of humor.’ /Unlike someone else I could mention/” was especially painful to me. It seems like progress coming from her, but then: “That now that she consented to share her feelings, they could cry together over Azula’s sad, sad fate. Or some similar nonsense. Agni, he was worse than Ty Lee sometimes.”—The expectation the readers were building to is averted. “‘She crossed a line, when she left you to die. And subsequent events showed her for what she really was. [ . . . ] Something barely human, let alone deserving of respect.”—I maintain that Mai is wrong about Azula’s capacity to kill Zuko. First, let’s look at what happened when Azula “tried to kill” Zuko. When the ropes for the cable car were being cut in the Boiling Rock, Ty Lee, interestingly, did not express any concern about that. That would be strange if Zuko’s life was in danger, since we know she cares for Zuko as a friend. As such, while I don’t know exactly what would have happened if the cable car had hit the boiling lake, it seems as if there’s a possibility that it would have floated instead of sinking. Instead of everyone inside of it being killed, they would have been left stranded on the lake, where they could have been retrieved and taken into custody. Or it could have killed them, but again, I can’t see Ty Lee being okay with that, given her defense of Mai in that same episode. Then there was the attack on the Western Air Temple, during which Zuko seemingly falls to his death twice. The first time this happens, he lands on another Fire Nation airship—which Azula had to know was there. The second time it happens, Azula is falling along with him, until she manages to save herself. Now the question is, would she have managed to find a way to save him as well? Would she have grabbed him as she launched herself towards the cliff? Ultimately, we don’t know the answer to this, because the Gaang caught Zuko before she got her bearings back. She didn’t have to save him, so we will never know if she would have chosen to do so. As such, it’s ambiguous how serious her attempts to murder him were. It’s possible that despite her claims and her father’s orders, she might have been trying to capture Zuko instead. We can’t know for sure one way or the other. Zuko, on the other hand, would have let Azula fall to her death. No matter how any readers might feel about his characterization in “Dominion,” they can’t deny that that was something that he did in canon—and given the emphasis on being merciful to one’s enemies in ATLA, that was a decidedly unheroic thing for him to do, especially after he had been “redeemed.” Anyway, back to the chapter. Zuko thinks he should go visit Azula, since they’re on Ember Island. Not because he wants to, but because he thinks he should. “letting the fabric fall from his hands and onto their bed like a sinuous river of blood”—Great description to convey the tone of the moment. “‘You don’t owe her anything [ . . . ] And the sooner you realize that, the better off we’ll /all/ be.”—Mai’s not wrong, but we know Zuko doesn’t feel the same way. “‘You don’t know what it’s like [ . . . ] to have someone you whole life, and then they’re just gone.”—Ouch. Ouch ouch ouch. But has it occurred to Zuko that Azula probably felt the same way when he was exiled? I’m sure it hasn’t. "Mai considered in that moment just going with him, but dismissed it almost as quickly. She had never been to see Azula, and there was no telling how the mad princess would react to her, whatever improvements Ty Lee claimed in her mental state."—Honestly, Mai? Maybe you should have gone with him. I think it's clear that you're still hurting over what happened at the Boiling Rock, even if you deny it and claim that your denial is closure. Talking with her might have helped you, and it might have helped Zuko too. In addition, I suspect that the events of this story would have gone down a dramatically different path if you had been with Zuko during chapter seven. But you chose to stay with Lu Ten, which is, admittedly, a reasonable choice to make, especially given your justifications for it (namely, that if Azula got the upper hand in a fight, she could use you against Zuko). But it also meant that you missed an opportunity to head off some of this story's conflict before it began. So Zuko goes to visit Azula, while Mai practices with her knives. The "but [she] like to think it was something more, that maybe he inherited not just her eyes and thick black hair, but her enduring love of pointy things" is super cute and makes me want him to be a nonbender even more. After a while, though, Mai gets the news that Azula has escaped. Yes! Except she's not as enthused about the prospect as I am. "'Answer your Fire Lady!' Mai said stridently, taking a quick step closer to compel him and eliciting a frightened squeak from Lu Ten, who was unused to hearing his mother express herself so loudly."—Nice characterization here. "Another /cursed/ letter"—Ah, so does this mean Mai is fully aware of Azula's letters and Zuko's fixation on them? "'Dada?' he chirped hopefully up at her, with that same uncertain smile she had seen on Zuko's face too many times to count."—Awww! "while Mai removed the flame headpieces and pin from her hair, letting it fall freely down her back"—Have we ever seen Mai with her hair down? I don't think we have. I'm curious about how that looks. "And Mai reflected on the fitness of the metaphor"—While I reflect on the cleverness of the writing.

We move on to Zuko who, like us, is skeptical that the breakout at the asylum had nothing to do with Azula. Also, "cold therapy" sounds like the Fire Nation's equivalent of electroshock therapy. Apparently, it "helps" mental ill firebenders, which both Zuko and I think is nonsense. In any case, Azula got thrown into a cooler at one point, with Iroh's consent. Apparently it did not go well, because Azula flashed back to being frozen by Katara in the finale, even assuming the position she was in then, with her hands behind her back. Eventually, though, she acclimated to the cells. "'We think her fire simply burns too hot. As you are aware, she is the first bender in several generations to wield blue flames, and the first ever recorded in the royal family.'"—This is so cool. I wonder what the stories of the other blue flame benders are? "'You're used to blaming her when things go wrong, aren't you? [ . . . ] It gives you a measure of comfort."—Dr. Kwan's got your measure, Zuko. Oooohhh, so Zuko wanted Azula to be guarded by eight imperial firebenders at all times. It's no wonder she needed to set up an escape for some of the other patients in the asylum—how else to pull the guards away from her? Also, the "No joke" comment made me laugh. "Didn't these people know what she /was/?"—Stop saying "what" instead of "who" Lord Weirdo. It's contributing to your dehumanization of Azula. "This one opened outward, to prevent Azula from hiding behind it when anyone entered her cell."—That is surprisingly savvy of them to have designed the door that way. "'Her hair is /brown/! /Dark/ brown, like my /mother's/!"—Ugh from the future. "'And she's /shorter,/ that isn't /her/!"—So is it canon that Azula has a short stature, or is that more of your preference, Aurelia? Because as a short woman, I don't mind, but I also don't know the answer to that question, XD. Zuko briefly panics, thinking that Azula is pretending to be one of the imperial firebenders, which is a nice nod to her pretending to be a Kyoshi Warrior in canon. But of course Azula didn't stick around like that. "But it still hurt"—The way this is led into makes me think that this is meant to be read as, "But it still hurt that she'd betrayed him," even though this isn't a betrayal, because it's not about him at all. This is also a nice echo to Azula's speech on the beach. "The guard smiled shyly, odd as that was to see in a man at least five years his senior, 'It'd be hard to forget….'"—Is it weird that I find that cute? Because I do. Azula's plan is brilliant, which of course it would be. Though Zuko thinks, "This just proved how little they knew her. Azula didn't identify with anyone, Zuko recalled. She was just good at pretending." Which is not true. Azula is capable of empathy; she just doesn't express it in obvious ways. Being raised by a sociopath who equated warm emotions with weakness no doubt influenced her in that respect. "The one part that did /not/ make an awful sort of sense to him, was how she had subdued a guard and left the cell under her own power. Kwan and the guards both confirmed that she had been sedated, and the effect should have lasted several more hours."—This primes us to both the fact that Azula has been building up an immunity to the sedatives they're been giving her, but also that she might still be effected by the drugs when we see her. This is important in light of what happens in the next chapter. Zuko's means of trying to find Azula are actually very well thought out. Then he remembers that it's Azula's birthday, which makes him remember his conversation with Ty Lee, which makes him remember when he was last on the beach with Ty Lee, Mai, and Azula. This leads him to the realization that Azula has gone to the royal family's abandoned summer home. "He knew how much she hated it there."—Is there a specific reason for that, or is it just that it reminds her of her mother and thus is poisoned by her resentment towards Ursa? "His footfalls sounded despite the dust, the faded wood floors unaccustomed to his weight, and a sudden idea struck him. Zuko removed his boots and left them sitting beside the doors"—Well that is one way to make sure you don't have to worry about the logistics of him removing them in a certain scene in the next chapter. "Not a /single/ pair of /pants/ in her entire wardrobe?' Azula grumbled to herself. 'Why am I not sur—'"—I may have laughed really hard at this, because of course Ursa wouldn't have owned any pants! That would have been so unladylike of her! Though it is also very concerning that Azula decided to look through her mother's clothes for something first. I get the rationale behind her decision, but it's also unsettling once you know she uses the same makeup as her mother too. "He did not remember deciding to look inside. That fact alone was troubling."—Brace yourself, Zuko, it's about to get 1000x more troubling. "And he had never been one to hide pointlessly. Or to run from a fight."—Pssht, who thinks that way about themselves and expects us to take them seriously? "'You came back.'"—Oh Azula, honey. I wish he had come back for you, but he came back for the idea of you more than anything else. And that cliffhanger is where you chose to end the chapter. I'm very fortunate that I started reading this when there was—gosh, I want to say sixteen chapters up already? I distinctly remember getting the notification in my inbox when "A Kindness" came out. So I didn't have to wait for chapter seven like some readers did, which I imagine would have killed me. I know waiting for "Line of Fire" almost did, and that was for Ursa rather than Azula. Though to be fair, Ursa is a fascinating character, so she was worth the wait. In any case, I'm looking forward to tackling chapter seven and heading into the meat of this story, but I might need a few days to prepare myself for it. As always, thank you for the read! Sincerely, WiseAbsol

[tape-hiss]

Death and Aetheri

Hello! This month's Tape Hiss post is going to talk about Aetheri and death: attitudes towards it, practices and superstitions surrounding it, and so on. I'm going to talk pretty plainly about it! If talking about death makes you uncomfortable, you may want to sit this one out,

I quite honestly ran out of time to do any extra illustrations this month (I'm in crunch mode trying to get chapter 1 redraws done) but I will probably include some relevant photos just to give you something to look at. Below the cut!

So I've talked a little here and there about funerary practices in Aetheri but we're going further into depth now. Let's start with context: spirits live for a long time, about a thousand years. They don't perceive this as being an especially short amount of time the way we humans might perceive our own lifespans--I've also muttered some about spirits' perception of time being such that they experience time as either strangely contracted, i.e. whiling a way a Sunday afternoon without realizing how much time is passing, or as literally a series of what they perceive as separate lives. A thousand years is not particularly short to them; life does not feel short to them.

On the other hand, Aetherian spirits were once a prey species (and presumably other spirit communities on Eoroe still are.) Life does not feel short to Aetherians, but it does feel impermanent and fleeting nonetheless, because it could end quite suddenly at any moment. The relevance of this is that Aetherians have two entirely separate conceptions of death: that at the end of a long life, and that which happens dhalura sii dyra, or before one's time. The former has its own name, netdh-tnaas, and is regarded as something benevolent, an entity of relief. The later is called dreitha-thyal, and is a malevolent entity, something to avoid inviting.

A note: I have also rambled before about Aetherian spirituality. To expand on that some, Aetherians don't have an organized religion and aren't prone to deifying entities, but they do personify things like death, luck, love, joy, and so on. These personifications are not gods, but are usually spoken of as though they were more or less random forces of the universe that cannot be asked to do things the way one might a god-figure. Aetherians might conduct little rituals or hold superstitions in the hopes that the universe will align itself with their wishes, but they have rather a different attitude about it than a sort of 'if you pray, God will provide' thing. Different, but maybe not a hell of a lot so. Whether by culture or because of species hard-wiring, spirits seem pretty okay with the lack of certainty involved in all this.

Another important note is that while Aetherians personify death, it is ultimately a state of being. They don't think of it as a place that someone can come back from, or an entity that can be negotiated with or fought off. There is nothing in Aetherian folklore of heroes journeying to an underworld to save someone or tricking the grim reaper into staying his hand; these would sound very foreign to Aetherians. There is no conquering death, merely avoiding it for a while. Aspiring to conquer it--as humans might--is something Aetherians regard as both arrogant and pointless. Spirits live for about a thousand years, and most of them consider that long enough. Most of them look on humans who are so set on finding ways to counter aging with pity.

This is maybe a weird attitude to take given that spirits have a pretty good idea of what happens to a person after they die, which is: ostensibly, nothing. Perhaps death leaves a ghost behind, but that is just a footprint, which eventually goes away. The prospect of this alarms most humans, I think, but spirits on the whole don't seem to be that bothered--maybe because this has never been new information to them, and they've never expected anything else.

On the contrary, 'nothingness' is viewed as the final state of consciousness. It's referred to as muunn and carries a connotation of absence, of inertia, of stillness. It's a state of being cooled and slowed to a stop. It's a spiritual echo of the concept of absolute zero wherein all molecules have stopped moving entirely. Life is movement at all different speeds and noise at all different levels; death is stillness and quiet and a state of rest. The genesis of life is seen as a collection, a formation, of muscles and bones and elements and magic; the natural end result is the dissipation of these things in death. Life and death in its most simplistic form is seen like a building of pressure, and then a release. Part of the reason netdh-tnaas is viewed as positive when compared to dreitha-thyal is that it completes the arc of life, so to speak, rather than cutting it short.

This symmetry is reflected in funerary practices in Aetheri as well. One lives their life in community, with others; it's very unusual to live alone or in isolation, even though there's plenty of space to do so. When one dies, ultimately the remains end up outside cities and towns, on the moors. Remains are not kept in the same places where people live, not because of any distaste for death or superstition, but because the moors and prairies of Aetheri are reflective of the quiet and solitude and stillness that go with death. It's merely appropriate.

(The exception to this for a long time now has been the royal family. There is a crypt for the d'Escala, just outside the bounds of the palace, far below the ground. Still out of the realm of society, but closer to home, closer to the place they dedicate their lives to.)

Prior to the last war, when Aetheri was largely forested, traditions were a bit different. Most people would be buried for a decade at the base of a large tree at the edge of civilization, and then the skeletal remains would be exhumed and placed in an ossuary far from town. Ossuaries held many remains and were extremely well-hidden, both because bones are good for use in some nasty magic and because the species of predator that preyed on spirits would not turn down a snack of bone marrow.

Traditions post-war have changed somewhat, but not much. The decade of burial is still in place--it's referred to as rudh-ieir and is the transition from being to not being, from the person that one is to truly no longer being that at all. It's also the time during which it's traditional to mourn, but I'll get to that in a moment.

After rudh-ieir the skeleton is still exhumed and wrapped in nilaqudh--which is the 'marriage' cloth I mention in this post--or another shroud if no nilaqudh exists. The skeleton may then be placed in an ossuary, but they're starting more and more to go out of fashion. Instead often the skeleton is placed in a reed chest or clay jar and buried on the moors, wherever the loved ones think seems like a good spot, often somewhere particularly scenic or peaceful--sometimes alone, sometimes in proximity to the remains of other friends or loved ones. The burial spots are often not marked at all, and when they are it's never by name but by a small landmark. Knowledge of where the grave is is ultimately kept by the family or friends, almost never recorded. It's kept deeply private and personal and is rarely visited--partly to preserve the peace of the deceased, and partly to discourage grave robbers, who can make a nice profit on selling bones on the black market for spell materials.

This may sound terrifyingly lonely, but it isn't as though people are just simply forgotten. Aetherians regard the bones as the most long-lasting physical part of a person, but the memories of them as the longest-lasting part overall. Typically someone who mourns the death of a loved one will keep an object of the deceased's either on their person or in their home for the rest of their lives--this could be anything, like a piece of clothing, a letter, a favorite toy. These are things which have no meaning beyond what the deceased ascribed to them in life, and they're things that would lose that meaning if the mourner did not remember it.

We have actually seen an example of this: the blade mounted on Helly's wall in chapter 6 belonged to Karida, Numair's mother. It's not a particularly special blade, it's just the one she used. Helly is remembering her in a very traditional Aetherian way.

Yoshi is doing something similar with the household shrine to his mother, but the method here is sort of fused with the idea of the butsudan in that it also functions to honor his mother rather than just display an object of hers. I imagine Shinobu does something like this as well, and probably introduced the idea to Yoshi in the first place.

Mourning is generally considered a private thing in Aetherian culture, as are a lot of shows of emotion, really. The actual funeral service is generally a quiet, simple affair; it involves a few clothes friends and family members, a few stories told to each other about the deceased, a quiet moment. Public displays of grief are not looked on kindly, not traditionally, anyway. Some of this is beginning to change with the younger generations of spirits as they absorb cultures coming in from other worlds, but deep emotional repression is still the norm in many facets of Aetherian life.

Following this, public memorial is sort of rare in Aetheri, and then it's only for the truly public. The founders' statues are the best example of this--they were all erected after all the founders had died, to mark a turning point in Aetherian history that should well and truly be remembered. The statues are not just to the founders as people, but to the fall of the old royal family and the rise of the current, to the destruction of the forests in Aetheri, to the worlds destroyed in the war.

There is one major exception to funerary tradition in Aetheri, and that's for criminals. Not just regular criminals, but the universally reviled, those who Aetheri has agreed are best forgotten. They are cremated, and only people like this ever are--fire represents destruction to Aetherians, and destruction so complete that it destroys the bones of the deceased is the Aetherian way of erasing someone's existence. The ashes are afterwards scattered completely.

As you can imagine, death traditions are one of the biggest points of conflict in Aetheri right now, between old traditions and the new ones brought in by immigrants. Cremation is a pretty innocuous thing in a lot of cultures, even preferred by some, but it's something you'd only do to someone you hate in Aetherian culture. Graveyards and interment are also pretty common in many cultures, but Aetherians find the practice of having graveyards so close to the living and visiting them frequently to be an intrusion of the living space by the dead, and vice versa. Funerals with loud wakes or long processions are seen as unnecessarily dramatic. Embalming is seen as ghoulish.

There's been quite a bit of argument in the nearly hundred years now that Aetheri has had immigrant cultures on where graveyards should be allowed--in cities, or outside of them--or if they should be built at all. Funeral homes that performing embalming or cremation have difficulty staying open in parts of Escalus, because traditional Aetherians find both practices so detestable. Even caskets are sort of difficult to come by, since wood is such a luxury good in Aetheri--most are made out of pressed and hardened reeds. As it stands right now, there are no graveyards in Escalus--the few that exist are just outside the city, which is still too close for most traditional Aetherians. Funeral homes exist and funeral processions and wakes happen and are protected by law, but are sometimes vandalized or crashed by particularly shitty traditionalists. So, there is still some work to be done.

And that’s the gist of it! Thanks for reading! Got questions? Ask ‘em!

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

What do you make of Dean having so few kills this season & none since 12.11? At first, I thought the writers might just want to showcase Sam a bit. But now it's actually a pattern, where Sam or a guest actor get the big hero moments, never Dean. It really stood out for me in last night's episode, where Dean got to finally carry the Colt but Sam was the one who actually used it against 'both' bad guys. I'm hoping that it's not just Dabb's bias but that there might be a story reason behind it?

@suebsg9 said: I am just curious about your opinion on Sam getting another kill. Not that I minded Dean being victim especially to a god he did do a very good job getting out of the plastic wrap. And enjoyed what you had to say about the latest episode. I miss Dean getting big kills.         

Hey you two!

Hope you don’t mind replying to both your asks in one go. I thougt it would make sense, as they are about the same thing. :) 

While I am absolutely not convinced this may not just be due to writers/showrunners bias, I do think it should be considered a conscious pattern that will culminate in some sort of resolution with likely pretty painful and bad outcome. We have seen the pattern not just with Colt, but something similar too with Dean never getting to actually shoot the grenade launcher for example. So Dean being the one to carry the Colt (while still ultimately imo definitely not knowing the full story about how the BritMoL managed to get it in their hands in the first place - meaning he doesn’t know that Mary was the one choosing the gun over her sons lives) and not shooting it, imo may pave up to a moment in the finale where Dean will maybe fire the gun, but potentially not because he wants to per se.

I personally don’t mind Dean not getting “big kills” all the time. In fact I rather liked that Dean is showing in his very human measures and ability that he can be one huge force to mess with - even for a God. I find that to be much more powerful than if Dean just shot the Colt. The most iconic Colt moment will remain Dean’s Azazel kill anyway and that is kind of where I think the season is headed again loosely based on some of the vey loose spoilers circulating at the moment on the finale “with something disturbing and shocking happening”, the Js shooting some “scene with lots of past characters” that happens after the blackout of the ending of the episode or that the fandom will “hate Lucifer even more than it already does after the season finale” (this last bit annoys me most because it to me suggest we will still have fucking Lucifer - way overdone and boring and repitiive Lucifer in S13 *huge and long sigh* - please kill that character off, please!!!)

So what am I going on about? I personally could imagine that at the end of the season all of the Mary and Lucifer alignments may come together after all. There was a lot of focus on Mary as Lucifer’s vessel in the first half, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that got revisited. Basically I have like three different scenarios that I could see play out in one way or another or as a combination.

1) The finale will somehow feature Sam as Lucifer’s vessel again. But then Mary will intervene and offer herself up as her way to “make up for being the one to “start it all”. So Lucifer would skip vessels and with that of course torture the Winchesters in new volumes. Then I suppose Ketch may factor in into the story too and I could imagine him being the one to shoot the Colt expecting it to kill Lucifer, but of course we know that won’t work and therefore he ends up killing Mary. And after that possibly trying to do the same with Sam and Dean.

That is one possibility, but I rather think actually that instead of Ketch (who would factor in on this arc in some other way) Dean will be the one to fire the Colt, but not because he wants to, but because he is forced to do it by Lucifer or Daegon or someone else.

That would bring together the threads of Dean being shown to be forced to do things against his will by his loved ones as well as bringing in the Colt and Dean firing it in a new way. And I feel it would match the markers of “Lucifer being hated even more” if Dean was force to kill his mother and it would definitely count as “disturbing”.

2) I can see the scenario described above also imagine to play out not with Lucifer who possesses Mary, but Daegon instead, because that would bring the show full circle to the end of S1 when Dean has the Colt aimed at John possessed by Azazel and can’t bring himself to shoot him. It would make a whole lot of sense if they revisited that scene imo. I mean, I wouldn’t want that burden to sit on Dean’s shoulders to be the one to shoot Daegon and in order to kill her also kill Mary, but in reation to poetic symmetry it would absolutely work. And this time Dean would be able to pull through. And maybe then Ketch would shoot Dean, because he can’t be without Mary or sth. ;P

3) In a turnaround to the ending of S11 where Mary’s return was aligned with Sam getting shot, another possibility would be that this time a season may end with Mary leaving and Dean getting shot. Now, it could be that Mary is the one to do it. Whether accidentally while wanting to fire the Colt at someone else or because she is forced to do it by Lucifer or Daegon or hell, even, Ketch. I know there has been talk about death foreshadowing and while I personally didn’t get that vibe from mayn scenes, I guess one could say that if you saw those, this is what they may lead up to. Though if we talk death, I personally would always have thought rather metaphorical death in so far as Dean would rise as a more free person, but that’s a topic for another time.

So these are kind of the ways how I see the Colt and Dean not firing it could be revisited or tied up. Of course it is also more than possible that Dean will simply be the one to pull the trigger of the Colt when killing Ketch, but yeah, I’d prefer something less “blah”. ;)

In any regard and while of course the season finale spoilers are to be take with a bucket load of salt, I think this season could end with more than one Winchester death (which of course won’t be permament) and the scene that the Js talked about they filmed for S13 could be understood as a scene on Heaven.

All that said, there are two more thoughts that I have been kicking around in my head and one would be - though I am fairly certain they won’t go that route, because it would render the entire season “useless”, because nothing would have truly happened - that maybe at the end of the season it would turn out that Dean was in the Empty after all. But again, I don’t think the “it was all a dream”, would be something they’d do, because yeah that’s lazy and bad writing 101 and would basically confirm that Dabb had no clue what to do with this season and therefore pulled a 360 right at the end.

Much more than that though and this has popped up as an idea in a conversation with the lovely @lemondropsonice who propsed what if Amara returns? While I think it’s sadly wildly unlikely to happen, I have to say I would LOVE that, because wouldn’t that be just beautiful? For her to return, because she expected that giving Dean his mother back would heal him and make him happy, but instead it all just got a million times worse and so much got destroyed. I would love that because it would emphasize how much she actually care about Dean - she defintely seems to have cared about him a lot more than his actual mother does. So what if she returned and asked if she should “turn back time” and let Mary keep resting in peace? It would be a twist on the “it was all a dream”-scenario that I would be able to live with, if Dean was able to rememeber everything that happens and the development wouldn’t be erased from the Winchesters’ brains. Yet, it would undo nephilim problem for example and various other things.

Question of course would be if Dean would be able to tell her “do it” or if he’d plead for her to not do anything, that he may not be happier as she had hoped for him to be, but that he is glad that he finally knows the truth and that he values that more than living with a memory that was comforting at the time, but sadly never truly real.

Of course all of this and any of these scenarios would place major emotional torture and hardship on Dean that is beyond comprehension or may actually see him hurt badly or dying due to his family’s misplaced trust etc., but yeah I guess while endings like this couldn’t redeem how awfully executed and written this season was, it sure could show that maybe the showrunners and writers may have realized that they may have to do a better job in S13.