#anyway i worked hard and am very happy with lots of the yuri expressions here pats myself on the back

[fluffalpenguin]

bunch of au stuff (except that one page of them in their usual clothes lol)

[longinglook]

I may or may not have spent my entire Sunday binge watching all of I told sunset about you and Gaya sa pelikula and now I have so many thoughts and feelings that I need to write about them so here we go! Under a read more (if tumblr allows me to) because it’s 2k words hehe

First of all, I knew next to nothing about both shows before starting them. I had seen a couple of gifs here and there, but really had no idea what I was in for.

I started with I told sunset about you, which has 3 episodes out of 5 out. All I knew is that it was going to be beautiful and possibly sad, and it was. Everything about this show is so high quality, from the audio to the dialogue to the locations to the acting, just wow. The production is better than a lot of movies I’ve seen, and every technical aspect is perfect. I am really loving the plot so far as well, I find the childhood friendship to stubborn rivalry to grown up friendship again very relatable. I think it’s a very common experience for a lot of non straight folks to develop an extremely close bond with a same sex friend when you’re too young to realize what you’re actually feeling for them until you’re a lot older and suddely the jealousy and possessivenes all make sense.

I love the recurring themes sprinkled throughout the episodes, starting from the chinese vocabulary that expresses the core thoughts of the two main characters: rival, intimacy, secret, male protagonist, as promised. They could easily be the episode titles, or the names of imaginary sections the show could be divided into. It’s a great way to integrate metaphors and deeper meaning into the plot.

That’s how most of the communication goes in this show, deep emotions are never conveyed through words because words are scary and loud and they can’t be taken back once they’re out there. The plot advances though stares and gestures and touch and gorgeous shots of the landscape. The pace is slow with hour-long episodes that could each be a movie of their own. This worried me a bit before starting, and I have to admit that at times I struggled to stay focused, especially during scenes that set the mood but don’t do much plot-wise. This is just a personal preference, though, and in no way I see it as a flaw. 

The dancing around each other the main characters do, sometimes literal, is frustrating but it determines an emotional build up that’s just starting to reach its peak. This is one of those shows that has me screaming if only they talked to each other, but the silences and unspoken words are so well directed and acted that it works. I struggle a lot with keeping in mind that they’re still in high school, they’re very young and I can’t expect them to act rationally just yet. 

I was really worried about Teh possibly going the insufferable Theory-of-love-khai way, and I am still not 100% sold on him. When he started helping Oh-aew again it felt like he was just doing it to make himself feel better about the whole thing. It was frustrating to see him so possessive and jealous while also so deeply in denial about his own feelings, to the point where he had me rooting for Bas instead. He was getting better, but then he fled at the end of episode 3 and now I have no clue what’s going to happen next. About this, I really have no idea if they’re going for a happy ending or a sad one. I’m really hoping it will be good, because so far there has been barely any emotional payoff for all the repressed longing and misunderstanding the show has put us through.

I do like their dynamic a lot though, I have a weak spot for childhood friends reconnecting and an ever weaker spot for informal mentor/mentee relationships. Oh-aew asking Teh to tutor him until he passes the admission exam was an almost exact mirror of Yuri on ice Yuri begging Victor to be his coach until he retires and I loved that a lot.

Now on to the one issue I have with this show: it feels too much like an art film. It reminds me of Moonlight and Call me by your name, in the way that I wasn’t able to connect with those movies because they are too perfect. They are so beautiful and carefully crafted that I can’t fully immerse myself in them. There’s a filter that stops me from relating to the characters and constantly reminds me that this is not reality. It’s pretty, it’s extremely well done, but it feels like art. It has some quirks, some scenes that feel too artificial. One scene in particular, the one where Teh buries his head in the paper Oh-aew wrote with his coconut scented pen to sniff it, which is a direct parallel to Call me by your name, bothered me in particular. Just as it felt over-the-top and purposefully weird in the movie, so it feels in the show. It’s a way of showcasing how a confused teen deals with attraction he barely understands, it’s raw and animalistic in a way, but it’s so quirky that all it accomplishes is to remind me that I’m watching an lgbt show. It makes me wonder if a scene like this would make sense in a straight relationship because here it seems to highlight how different and primal his attraction is. If I had to pinpoint it, I’d say that I have a problem with media showcasing queerness though peculiar, purposefully awkward scenes like these instead of normal kissing and cuddling.

Overall, I can’t wait to see how this show ends and I still think it’s one of the best bls to air in 2020, if not ever. It’s refreshing to see something with a big budget used well! So far my rating is 8/10, which I know is a lot lower than what everyone else seems to think but it’s still very much subject to change! Just hoping they won’t pull a Make our days count, but I doubt they’ll go there.

And now Gaya sa pelikula. Wow. Again, I knew next to nothing about this show before watching, and I was coming from a 3 hour I told sunset about you binge watch, so the bar was pretty high.

And boy, did this show deliver. I was blown away by the depth and the humor of it. It feels like the writers had fun taking all sorts of common tropes and stereotypes just to show everyone how well they can be evolved and made complex. Two strangers who somehow find themselves sharing an apartment sounds like the start of so many fanfictions out there, but it’s so well executed and interesting that you don’t even stop to think about how weak the premises for their meeting are. It doesn’t matter and it’s not even that far-fetched, either. The sister and the neighbor are also two characters that start off as extra stereotyped, but in just a few scenes they unveil an incredible depth and backstory. It blew me away.

Each character is so realistic. Everything they do and say makes sense, they all have their reasons and their past and they react accordingly, it’s so coherent. It’s impressive how everything takes place inside the house and you barely realize it because things happen and the plot moves anyways, and the way information about external events and people is conveyed is so seamless that you don’t even notice it. In only 7 episodes (so far) they have managed to give everyone a complex background and personality through the use of objects and small details and wow don’t get me started on the music.

The soundtrack is SO GOOD. I never really pay attention to music in shows but it plays a very important role here in my opinion and, well, it’s exactly the kind of music I like listening to and ahhh I just spent 4 hours playing the first kiss song on loop so I might be biased. Right from the start in episode 1, when Karl gives in to Vlad’s music and starts dancing to it, it’s established that it’s an important element to the mood of each scene. I love how the dancing I talked about for I told sunset about you comes back here, but while I saw it as a hesitant dancing around each other there, here it’s the opposite, it’s freeing and it’s about accepting yourself. And the end of episode 6 highlights this, with the beautiful quote “You are entitled to a love that lets you dance without fear and shame.” It made me cry a looooot.

I think the development of their relationship is masterfully done. It doesn’t happen too quickly nor too slowly. Karl goes through some needed shocks that act as his wake up call. When I’m watching bl shows I care the most about them feeling real and relatable. I don’t want to feel like they were written by a straight person trying to guess what it’s like to be gay. Now I didn’t look anything up about the Gaya sa pelikula writers, but I’d be very surprised if they were straight. I can relate to both Karl and Vlad for different aspects of their stories and their worries and thoughts. There was one part in particular that hit so close that I had to take a few breaks because it hurt too much. I am a lesbian, I’ve had relationship with a girl that lasted over a year, I am out to some friends but not all. I never came out to my parents, who are both very open minded and friends with a lot of gay people and would love me just as much if I told them, and yet I can’t. It’s not just that, I am terrified by the idea of them already knowing or being able to guess. When Karl freaked out over his uncle guessing, it hit me so hard because I’ve felt the same way so many times.

Episode 7 was amazing. I hate badly written drama the most, and 99% of shows can’t come up with any good reason for drama but they have to put it in there anyways and it sucks. This was the complete opposite, I adored it and I say this as a lover of fluff. It feels right, I think it’s an issue that would come up between two people like them. They are both right and the only thing that could happen there is what actually went down. I definitely think things will be fixed by the end and I am looking forward to it, but I am very glad this issue was included because it’s so important and so true to many lgbt people’s lives.

Another aspect I absolutely adored are the multiple references to lgbt theory and language, and Vlad has some of the best lines I’ve ever heard coming from a bl. When he tells Karl not to be afraid of the word, when he explains that “you don’t look gay” isn’t a compliment, when he scolds his sister for not acknowledging the things she used to say to him by covering them up with her ally act, those are all such important and educative moments that I hope everyone listens to. I love that Vlad is not correcting some ignorant bad guy, but it’s his accepting and loving friends and family that make the mistakes, because sometimes being supportive your own way isn’t enough if you’re not actively learning from the ones you want to support.

This is a 10/10 for me right now. I can’t find anything I don’t like about it. It never feels boring, it never feels overdone, it never feels cheap or unoriginal. It went straight to the top of my favorite bls.

And now I can’t help but compare the two a bit, because yes they are two different shows but right now the relationships they portray have reached the same point: there has been a climax and now the one who is more confused about his sexuality is panicking and taking a step back. It’s a coincidence that I watched both shows on the same day when their last aired episodes end in such a similar way, but it really leads me to compare the two. I don’t want to put them one against each other or say which one did it better because that’s not the point of this, they are both two amazing and important shows who are excelling in what they’re doing. 

Gaya sa pelikula is down to earth, it’s explicit and it’s straight to the point in explaining what’s going on inside each character’s head. It feels like watching real people deal with real struggles. I told sunset about you is a lot more subtle and quiet, and since we don’t really have a clear insight in the characters’ heads sometimes it’s hard to completely understand what’s going on with them. It’s a completely different way of narrating, and while Gaya sa pelikula makes me feel like I’m a part of the events, I told sunset about you feels like I’m just spectating from an outside perspective. They are different choices, but one of them ends up feeling a lot more emotional to me than the other.

To wrap it up, I highly recommend both shows and I can’t wait to see how they’ll end! They are both among the best shows of the year, both free of all those annoyingly stereotyped characters and plot points that most bls tend to overuse.

[erindoodless]

a magical kind of love

CHAPTER 1: A NEW BEGINNING FOR DANIEL HOWELL

author’s note: sorry for taking so long to write this! school is very tiring. i hope to post at least every sunday! let me know if you would like to be on my tag list so you will be notified of future chapters and works.

summary: dan gets accepted into hogwarts and meets a new friend on the hogwarts express.

type: modern phan hogwarts au

wc: 2.3k

honorable mention: to my beta readers for their amazing editing skills and being able to read it very last minute @violetofthesea @some-angelic-flowers ​ @hermit-with-friendz

read on ao3 or continue reading below!

As Dan walked through the train station, he felt nervous butterflies in the pit of his stomach. He never liked normal school so the last place he wanted to go was Hogwarts. The idea of being among loads of obnoxious, magical people his own age stressed him out. All he wanted to do was stay home and go on the internet for the rest of his life because it was the only place he could be himself.

While he strolled into the station, it started to rain. Dan didn’t like the rain very much, so he sped to the entrance of the building. This made him believe that going to a wizardly school was such a terrible idea that the sky started to cry. In reality, it was raining to represent a new phase in his life. A brand new beginning for him.

When Dan first got his letter, both he and his parents were very confused. Although neither of his parents are Muggles, and he had exhibited magic before, he lacked any passion for it. They were sure that Dan wouldn’t get accepted for that reason, but his letter came anyway, and their attitudes changed. They were very excited for the first time in a long time for their son. Even though he didn’t want to leave his bedroom, Dan felt pressured by them to go. His bedroom was the only place he found peace. Yet, despite all his complaints, his irritating parents still made him go.

Dan’s mother took him along to the station on the day he was sent to Hogwarts. Similar to him, his mother had mouse-brown hair and dark brown eyes. Dan imagined that he used to have a more trustworthy relationship with his mother. Unfortunately, that was lost as soon as both of his parents shared their opinions about certain topics that he disagreed with. For being just 11 years old, Dan was intelligent for his age because he was able to form opinionated thoughts about controversial ideas due to his free access to the internet. They walked along with the platform. Dan still felt upset about the whole situation while he pushed his loud trolley. He was glad that his parents let him bring his dog Colin along so he could have some sort of friend. He was happy that Hogwarts updated their policies to allow dogs.

“Oh, don’t look so miserable Daniel. This is an opportunity that most children don’t get! You should feel lucky,” his mother said to him with a disappointing look on her soft face. The only thing that brought Dan ease from his mother is her tendency to feel empathetic for him. But in this circumstance, he didn’t feel any love at all and his mother was just disappointing him. “I’m sure you will meet loads of new friends.”

Dan let out a heavy sigh. He never had good friends at his primary school so he wasn’t sure why his mother believed that Hogwarts would be any different. The one time he had a friend was in his 4th year of primary school. His 8-year-old self tried to kiss him after they had a conversation about kissing, but the boy ran off before anything could happen. He never heard from him again.

As Dan was thinking about his time at primary school and walking through the station, his mother suddenly stopped in front of a pillar while Dan is lost in thoughts about primary school. “You’re supposed to run into the pillar. Didn’t you read the letter at all? The train is at platform 9 and ¾,” his mother asked, annoyed at Dan’s disinterest obvious in her voice.

“No? Why would I read a letter about a place I don’t want to go to? And why do they make you go to a platform that doesn’t exist?” Dan replied, not bothering to hide his misery. “And I’ll probably regret going even though you all think I’ll feel guilty about not going.”

This was a drastic moment when Dan’s awful life was changed forever. Without listening to his mother’s response, he just ran into the stone pole with his trolley and Colin yelped.

And there he was. He was standing right in front of the Hogwarts Express with loads of other wide-eyed children and their supportive families. Since it was 10:55 am, and the train was due to leave at 11 am, he decided to just get on the enchanted train so he could avoid his crazy mother as much as possible.

Fortunately for him, he was able to find a seat in an empty compartment. He sat down with a sigh of relief. The compartment consisted of 4 seats, 2 shelves to put up luggage, and a giant window. The luxurious seats were so squishy that one could easily sink into them.

The brown-eyed boy set his stuff down and let his dog out of that horrid cage. He was fully against putting Colin in a cage because he knew he was perfectly capable of walking to the station, but Dan’s mother and father said he would have to put the dog in a cage or leave him at home. Since he found comfort in Colin, he chose to put him into the confinement even though it made him feel very guilty. When the small dog came out, he did a long stretch and laid down on the comfy seat. Dan began petting him lovingly.

He came prepared for the 9-hour train ride to Scotland with his tablet, earbuds, and downloaded the whole season of Yuri On Ice!!! ‘It took 4 hours to download the episodes so this better be worth it’, Dan thought to himself. Thankfully, he also remembered to bring his portable charger in case his tablet battery got too low.

Just as he was about to start the first episode, he heard a soft knock on the door. Startled, he looked up to see a pale-skinned boy with bright blue eyes and bright ginger hair in the slightly opened doorway. Dan was not expecting to have any visitors so this was quite a surprise for him.

“Do you mind if I sit with you? Everywhere else is full,” the pale boy stammered out. He had a strong Northern accent and seemed very shy. Dan hesitantly nodded and the boy quickly sat down.

Dan avoided eye contact with the boy as long as he could and took a few glimpses at him while he was looking out the window. He had lots of colors in his eyes. His soft, orange hair was styled in a quiff. And damn, he was pretty. Even though he was just 11, Dan knew that he found boys nicer to look at than girls. This was another part of him that he had never told anyone in fear of rejection besides, of course, the one friend he tried to kiss. Thankfully, his old friend was somewhat a good person and never told anyone about what happened, even if he made a point of not talking to Dan after. The other parts included his Tumblr URL and his love for anime.

A few minutes later, Dan felt light taps on his shoulder. He looked up and saw that the boy was trying to speak to him. He paused his anime and took an earbud out to listen to what he had to say. “Hey, uh… My name is Phil Lester. What’s yours?” The boy, now known as ‘Phil’, questioned, somewhat awkwardly, his face turning even more red than his hair. He had a high pitched voice, though that might’ve just been nerves. Dan thought it was cute.

“Dan,” was all he said while not looking at Phil in the face. He returned to his anime because he knew he would start crushing hard if they began to have a conversation.

In the next hour or so, Dan noticed Phil eyeing Colin while the dog stared right back at him. Dan took his earbud out again and said, “You can pet him if you want.” Phil looked up at Dan surprised while the brown-eyed boy still wasn’t looking at him in the eye. The pale boy timidly placed his small hand on Colin’s head and began gently stroking him. Dan had never seen someone stroke an animal so delicately in his whole 11 years of being alive. The dog was having the time of his life as Phil began petting his belly.

“Wow, he really likes you,” Dan said out of confusion. He was shocked because it usually takes a while for Colin to trust people.

“Well, I guess I do have a way with animals,” Phil replied with a small smile on his face. “I live on a farm with my parents filled with lots of unique creatures. Maybe if I get to know you better, I can bring you home one time! We have thestrals, house cats, thunderbirds, and loads more. My favorite would have to be my own thestral, Henry,” he babbled on. Dan was distracted by when Phil said he could take him home. Does that mean someone finally wanted to befriend Dan?

“Did you bring a pet with you?” asked Dan. He was curious because he was the other way around where his parents never told him much about the magical world. Since they assumed he would never get into Hogwarts, he didn’t have an opportunity to learn much about special creatures.

“Yes! I have my lovely pygmy puff. She’s a bit on the crazy side, especially since a dog is here, so I’m going to leave her in her cage for now. I’ll show you her another time,” Phil smiled while looking at the small cage.

“Anyway, what are you watching on the screen thing? I’ve been curious about it the whole train ride,” the pale boy questioned. Dan wondered why the boy was suddenly being so talkative after sitting for an hour and not doing or saying anything. “Is that Muggle technology? My parents would never let me have technology.”

Dan was astonished to hear this. “You mean you’ve never watched anime, been on Tumblr, read fanfiction…?” Phil shook his head and had a puzzled look on his face. “Alright then. Come over here and we can watch this anime together.”

Phil blushed a bit again and went across to sit next to Dan. He was more fascinated by Dan’s tablet than anything else. He had never seen a piece of technology in this life besides the few times his parents took him out in public. Colin laid between the two boys while the blue-eyed boy was delightfully petting him again. “So, what exactly is an anime?” Phil inquired. Dan was even more shocked to hear this.

“Japanese cartoon. I need to show you everything now,” Dan responded. Phil let out a squeaky giggle and it made Dan’s checks turn deep red because of how angelic it sounded. “This one I download for the train is Yuri On Ice!!! It’s a competitive figure skating anime and it’s super gay.” That was another word Dan had learned from the internet. He had discovered all the different sexualities.

Phil looked even more excited now because if it’s a cheerful story, then it must be a great story. His parents had told him very little about the Muggle world and they didn’t want him to be involved with technology. All they wanted was their little boy to be a happy farmer. He spent the majority of his childhood reading educational magic books on the different creatures and plants on his family’s farm. He remembers reading the word ‘gay’ in one of his books and it was used to describe pure bliss.

“Oh, I love happy stories,” Phil stated with a small grin.

“I mean, this story has some sad bits. What makes you assume it’s a happy story?” Dan asked in a perplexed voice.

“Because it’s gay.”

Dan burst out laughing. “You know what, nevermind. You’ll learn eventually.” This made Phil even more bewildered than ever, but he just went along with it. Dan gave Phil one of his earbuds and showed him where to put it because he was originally trying to put it in his nostrils. Then they finally began watching. It turned out to be very depressing at the beginning. In Phil’s opinion, it wasn’t very gay. However, throughout the 22 minutes, it became quite funny with all the characters’ dramatic reactions.

After watching the first episode, Dan took out his earbud, and Phil did the same. “So, what did you think?” Dan asked in curiosity.

“I thought it was not happy at all. But I like the characters. And the theme song was good,” Phil responded, still unsure of the whole anime thing. They continued to watch the remaining episodes. Phil began obsessing over Yuri because of their similar love for dogs.

About 5 hours had gone by when they finally finished the anime. They had mini discussions between each episode so it took much longer than Dan expected. They still had 3 hours left on the train. The boys were struggling to think of something they could do or talk about because they didn’t want to be bored out of their minds.

While Dan was thinking of what they could do next, he felt something lay onto his shoulder. He looked over at Phil and realized he had fallen asleep with his head on Dan’s shoulder. Dan let out a sigh and accepted that he wouldn’t be able to move for a long time. He was feeling pretty tired as well so he rested his head against the back of the seat and closed his eyes.

He slowly fell asleep, happy that he possibly made a new friend.

authors note: please reblog and like if you enjoyed reading! again, let me know if you want on to be the tag list!

[ryoosukeyamada]

Hey! Say! 7 Ultra JUMP 28/7/2017 translation

Hi! Somebody suggested to translate HS7′s radio show when all 4 members were on, it was really funny and cute so I decided to translate it! You should definitely listen to it while reading the translation it’ll make it 10 times more fun with their voices, hope you guys enjoy! - humming-yay (translator)

Hey! Say! 7 Ultra JUMP!

Y: Good evening I’m Yamada Ryosuke from Hey! Say! 7

C: Good evening I’m Chinen Yuri

N: Good evening I’m Nakajima Yuto

O: Good evening I’m Okamoto Keito. Tonight’s Hey! Say! 7 Ultra JUMP, best album Hey! Say! 7’s… Hey! Say! JUMP’s 2007-2017

Y: Alright you’re out

O: input and output release commemoration, we will broadcast with 4 people!

Y: Hey you… my part…

N: that part said Yamada, it’s okay that you read it all out on one go but you made a mistake

O: yeah I made a mistake

N: you can’t make a mistake there

C: you can’t do that

Y: you can’t make a mistake

O: I didn’t make a mistake right?

Y: do you want to talk long today?

O: what do you mean?

Y: so Keito how long do you talk here normally?

O: I talk for over an hour

Y: you talk for an hour for a 15 mins radio show

O: yes yes yes

N: that’s just a person who can’t calculate

C: wait does that mean you can’t create enough content for 15 mins without talking for an hour or you just like to talk a lot

N: that’s so bad

O: It’s probably what you said before

N: that’s bad

C: you can decide the length of the radio show yourself

Y: let’s talk longer then usual firstly let’s go with Keito’s pace

O: I like to have fun while doing it

C: let’s go with Keito’s pace

Y: the best album was released, has everyone listened to it?

N: yeah maybe they might have bought it

O: they’ve probably not listened to it yet

Y: Well yeah there will be people who haven’t listened to it yet

O: I want them to listen to it now

Y: if they listen to it now… it’ll be amazing they’ll be like Shotoku Taishi (famous Japanese historical figure who was very intelligent)

O: yeah that would be right listening to the radio at the same time…

Y: they’ll be listening to various people talking.

N: I think it has a lot of meaning to it since we released it at our 10th anniversary

Y: yes I agree our kouhai’s have released a best album at a timing faster than us so we were feeling a bit in a hurry, but I think there’s a lot of meaning releasing it in our 10th anniversary and there are a lot of songs in it that the fans voted so we would like you to buy it. It is an album made with everyone, so please listen to it.

C: so that means… that we’re going to air all the album songs here right now?

Y: no no today we’re not doing that

O: let’s broadcast all of it as a commemoration

C: oh we’re not?

O: let’s just broadcast the intro’s of all the songs

C: all 23 songs?

Y: the melody that Chinen and Keito are ringing is a discord, but there is no conductor

O: aside that we’ve been doing this show since 2008!

Y: yeah from September 29th

Y: we were 15?

N: that means it’s been 9 years?

O: we’ve been doing it for 9 years

C: no we haven’t been doing it for 9 years!

Y: no we have been

N: we have been!

Y: where were you?

C: we have?

Y: yes we have

C: for that long?

N: wait a minute are we going to talk about how we’re doing this radio with all 4 of us? Let’s talk about that first

Y: it’s the first time right

O: yes the first time

N: it’s a first

Y: the first time after 9 years

N: yeah!

Y: what is this?

C: when it was first broadcasted…

N: it was two and two

C: we did it with two people.

N: and from then we do it by ourselves and now all 4 of us are here. What is this specialness?

YOC: what? yeah

Y: it has a 10th year-ness

N: it is!

N: Surprisingly this is the first time

O: surprisingly it’s the first time~

Y: indeed~

N: it’s really fun though

O: It’s really fun

Y: it’s barely started though, it’s just started

Y: are you guys lonely? How do you guys do it regularly?

N: yes so we started doing it ourselves and then I thought that it’s very lonely, it’ll be nice to have another person and then sometimes BEST brothers came here as guests, there were those times right?

C: yeah there were

N: from then I thought isn’t about time we do it with all 4 of us? And were here right now so it’s really fun

C: Yutti are you the producer?

N: yes actually I’m the producer. Even with all the corners there are individuals ones made so I’m excited what corner we’re doing today

Y: indeed

C: yeah! Now we’re only doing the opening

O: it’s still the opening?

Y: we need to start it!

N: if we talk too much now

Y: let’s keep going there going to cut a lot of it anyway

Y: so broadcasting from the 4 of us the special Hey! Say! 7 Ultra Jump please enjoy it until the end!

  N: JUMP history~

C: woo!

N: so us HSJ in 2007 September our group was formed and in November we debuted our first single, and now we have released our best album too. Since we are right in the middle of our 10th anniversary year, we would like to discuss many highlights of our history though concerts, TV shows and magazines.

C: there has been a lot of highlights

YO: very many

N: so today what kind of highlight will we discuss…

O: this corner is really fun right? Because we get to know

C: if someone suddenly asked to say a highlight it will be like um…

N: so this time we’re not alone so it has a lot of meaning doing it with all 4 of us

C: yeah

N: honestly there has been times where I couldn’t recall that moment but today let’s all work hard and squeeze it out

O: yes

Y: ok Yutti let’s read the mail!

C: let’s go!

N: so this is from…

O: ok Yutti let’s go!

N: I’m already talking

Y: he’s saying it now! You’re so loud! You’re forever so bad at it!

N: so this is from…

O: okay~

N: let’s really be focused. Let’s really be focused Keito

Y: when Yutti talks like this he’s really serious

O: I was scolded at for real

Y: he’s not joking he’s really serious, you’re getting scolded for real

C: no he isn’t serious when he is he’s even more scarier

N: stop it! Stop it!

Y: I know

C: revealing it

N: it’s not ‘I know’! don’t know about it please

O: okay highlight highlight

N: yes from Hokkaido radio name pikarinparurinrin

O: pikarinparurinrin

N: I am a wife that thinks Yamada is an angel!

Y: yes thank you very much!

N: Yama even captivates wives

O: he’s an angel?

N: The highlight that I remember is in 2012 when HS7 were a supporter in the Harukou volley ball and the ‘Ganba let’s go’ at the Kokuritsu Yoyogi-jyou

OY: ohh~

Y: I remember it

N: you do?

Y: yeah

N: this time Yamada-kun had a big black thing that looked like a microphone on his lower back, the machine fell off from him. He turned and utilised the centrifugal force to bring it up and whilst dancing put the machine back in position elegantly

O: wow~

N: this is really detailed but when I looked at him I thought wow and I love the song now even more

N: the reason why she likes Ganba let’s go is this. This is so funny

Y: I do remember it

O: then let’s go to the next one

Y: why?

N: he does remember it and our Yamada does these things a lot

O: oh really

N: no matter what he always puts the microphone transceiver on his back

C: and drops it

Y: I need to be more careful

N: how does everyone else put the mic transceiver on your back? Everyone puts it on differently

O: yeah now you say it

Y: I put it inside the belt

N: I put it inside, there’s the pants and the belt right? I put it in between the belt and the pants

Y: me too!

N: I squeeze it in there and clip it on facing outwards

C: I see

N: so the hook is facing outside, I think that this is perfect so I’ve been doing it for a while. Yama do you do that too?

Y: yes I do that too

N: but it still falls out

O: I had a time period where I did that too

N: how do you do it now?

C: you have time periods when you do that?

O: yeah I have time periods, now I just put it in a pocket

N: ohh the pocket

C: I put it in the pocket too

O: I put it in the back pocket and sometimes there’s a button on the pocket right? I leave it a bit open and poke out the antenna of the transceiver a bit

N: that’s a good technique

O: so it never falls out

Y: Chinen and Keito use a pocket

C: on the other hand when we want to sit down like during rehearsals you can’t  

O: yeah that’s true

C: because it’s in our pokke (short term for pocket)

O: yeah that’s the only problem

N: wait a minute Chinen calls a pocket pokke that’s so cute

O: so cute

C: the four of us have it like that but I wonder how everyone who is listening to this does it

N: noo they wouldn’t put it on there’s no opportunity for them to

C: they don’t put one on?

O: everyone probably puts it on normally

N: they wouldn’t have a personal microphone

O: they might be the type to hook it on properly

C: but you know they might have a part time job at a drive through

O: and they go ‘Irashaimase!’ (welcome!)

N: ohhh how do they work?

C: isn’t it the same system?

Y: no no no you don’t need to go that deep into it

O: I wonder how drive through people do it

N: I always move on to what Chinen is saying

~ Song intermission ~

N: so continuing on I would like to read the 2nd mail. We have received it from Ehime prefecture her pen name is Mari-san. Konbannu everyone from 7! (Konnbannu is the special way of saying good evening on 7’s radio I think Yuto made it up?)

7: nu!

N: she’s saying Konnbanu so you would think she’s a fan of me right?

OY: yeah

N: I am a girl that loves Yamada-kun!

Y: YAAAAAAY Justice! (impersonation of Japanese comedian Sunshine Ikezaki)

N: you’re so hyper!

Y: justice!

N: Yama you’re so hyper today

O: is he like this when he’s by himself?

Y: no no

N: I think he’s definitely not

Y: the staff look confused

N: did someone good happen to you today?

C: no he’s pushing himself

Y: I’m working hard because all 4 of us are here

N: I heard that all 4 people from 7 are doing the radio so I am filled with happiness!

O: ohh she knows!

N: for today’s JUMP history it’s about the 7 gathering, the 7 gathering was first on on Chinen’s birthday, everyone has turned 20 so everyone’s drinking alcohol and Yamada-kun and Yuto-kun expressed their feelings and thought for each other and it’s an episode that I love. From then on it has been around 4 years

O: we’re 24 now

Y: so fast

N: I would like to know everyone’s impression from that time, I will support you guys forever let’s make many fun memories for the 10th anniversary year.

Y: ok I got it so let’s recreate that scene right here

N: can we do it?

Y: our memory is a bit hazy but let’s try it

N: can we do it??

Y: so we go into the shop

N: wait wait I need to think about my acting role

Y: ok then Yutti is me and I’m…

O: what?

C: it’s so hard~

N: wait how was it?

Y: how was it again?

N: it was like normal saying good work today guys

Y: I think at first we we’re pretty quiet

N: I think so too

Y: we were like we’re finally able to do it now, the 7 gathering

N: yeah we’re finally able to do it

C: we’re finally able to do it

N: whilst wiping our face with the wet towel

O: like an old man

N: anyway Chinen happy birthday

C: thank you~

Y: everyone has turned 20 now, we’re all adults

N: 20 wow~

Y: yeah let’s discuss things we feel for each other

N: yes let’s discuss

C: Ryosuke please give me money

Y: that’s too real

C: it was kinda like that

Y: we talked about our favourite types in girls

N: yeah we did! Being very boyish

YC: yeah~

N: when I think about it don’t you feel that we haven’t done a 7 gathering recently?

C: yeah~

O: that might be right

N: it might be because all of us have gotten busier but making that as an excuse is frustrating

O: yeah

N: we should do it again, like the last time we went to Hakone

Y: we did do that we went to Hakone!

N: don’t we want to go somewhere?

O: we did go to Hakone

C: we did go there

N: don’t you want to go somewhere again?

C: I do

Y: becoming adults, I want to go somewhere for over a night

N: yeah I want to stay over night, a trip as an adult is that we can stay over somewhere!

O: like a ryokan

N: a ryokan is good!

O: isn’t a ryokan good?

N: ryokan is good~

C: but we’ve raised the expectation too much now and we’re making it harder considering our schedule so for now we should just go out for dinner once

Y: yeah you’re so realistic

Y: talking about dreams…

C: if we keep talking about dreams in the end, we won’t go when we actually really want to go

Y: but we really do want to go!

N: yes I want to go too

Y: for now let’s first go eat together

N: yes let’s go

C: then tonight

Y: are you my girlfriend? First let’s go eat together… Then we go to the ryokan… it’s the feelings before dating.

~ song intermission ~

C: already it is time to say farewell

O: It felt so fast

C: you might have realised already but the thing that I am really into right now, we haven’t had JUMP top 3 yet!

O: yes we haven’t done it

C: so on that note, next week we will be just doing JUMP top 3!

N: really? How much do you want the Rekomen t-shirt??

C: I already have it

NY: you have it!

Y: yeah yeah that’s right

N: I really wanted it but I couldn’t get the answer right

C: are we going to all work together? Well there’s many ways to play but let’s all do it next week and have fun

N: we’re actually only going to do that?

C: yeah

N: okay

C: for this time I was so surprised that we talked so much just with history

N: yes well we have all 4 of us here…

Y: it can’t be helped!

N: if we’re going to do it with 4 people they need to make the show a bit longer…

OYC: yeah

N: let’s work hard so we can be a group like that

OYC: yes

Y: let’s work hard

C: let’s spread our name more

Y: If anyone wants to send a mail please send it to the address I am about to say now

OC: oh!

Y: so unique (yama’s voice)

O: what is this? I want to send one!

Y: here it goes (says postal address) and  email address is jump@joqr.net, have you remembered it?

N: I remembered!

O: you said it in a way to make us want to listen

Y: then lastly let’s go to this corner, “words you can gain energy from, Hey! Say! Words!”

O: yay~

C: let’s make everyone happy Ryosuke

Y: this is the part I am most bad at

N: same with me

O: Suddenly this corner came back on again

Y: we have received sayings that make people feel like ‘I can work hard for this week!’ and we say them here

O: are we starting from Yama-chan?

N: it’s like a stimulation experience

Y: today Keito will do it

N: gentle man!

O: Isn’t it totally better if it’s not me?

Y: no no no

C: It’s the most popular part

O: it’s pretty long

C: I want to hear it even more

Y: it doesn’t matter

O: it’s pretty long

N: we just want to hear it

O: I’m so bad at acting

Y: Keito all your part from before has been cut

O: that’s true

Y: yeah yeah

O: they can finally hear me

N: please go ahead

C: it’s the first time meeting Keito

O: nice meeting you for the first time, this is from Momou-san from Yamanashi prefecture, I would be happy if you say this slowly and relaxed yoroshiku onegaishimasu

O: what’s wrong? Did something happen? I’m always here to listen to you, you can depend on me, and cry in front of me. I will receive it all, okay?

Y: you are really bad at it, you’re monotone

O: really? I thought I put a lot of effort into it, I want to hear it from Yuto who is good at acting

N: no no that’s okay

O: because I don’t know! I want to hear the proper one…

N: no no there are other people here like Yama

Y: no not me

N: Yama is better at this!

Y: no no

O: can’t you do it today Yama-chan?

Y: I can’t

O: yes you can

Y: no I have a stomach ache

N: you’re stomach hurts? Are you a primary school student pretending to be sick?

O: ‘are you a primary school student pretending to be sick?’ what it that sort of comment

N: in primary school didn’t you pretend to have stomach ache?

Y: so nostalgic!

O: suddenly I have memories of primary school days in my head

Y: isn’t it okay with Keito-san? They wanted to hear a voice that is very Keito

C: I can work hard for the week

N: there are people who can work hard for a week because of this, if you think about it isn’t this corner so cool?

O: wow it is

N: right?

O: yeah, wow I can be happy from Yuto’s follow up comment

C: that’s good

N: let’s keep this corner going again

Y: yes well the time has gone past so quickly today but next week all 4 of us from HS7 will broadcast so please be excited for next week!

N: see you next week!

O: good bye!

C: bye bye!

[movienotesbyzawmer]

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

December 18: Star Wars: The Last Jedi

(previous notes: Star Wars: The Force Awakens)

Source: UK 3D Blu-ray (this was much easier to come by than a US release, for some reason)

This movie is only 2 years old, a relative infant babe in arms. And I unambiguously loved it when it came out, both times I saw it in theaters and again when it was first released on video. But there have been dark whispers, haven't there. Snobs and haters started flooding the information superhighway with poorly supported condemnation of this perfectly entertaining sequel. Was I wrong? Was I missing some smear of shit on the screen that everyone else could see? Or is Putin up to his old tricks? Excuse me while I pop on my rose-colored 3D glasses and jot down some fresh observations.

Cool first shot, zipping through a bunch of ships that's like some kind of convoy.

Then a bad guy ship shows up and whoa is it neat in 3D.

This first exchange between Poe and Hux is funnier than anything in the prequel trilogy, my goodness was that a refreshing way to start this movie! Love it!

BB8 thunking down into the guts of the X-wing! That's the right kind of gadgety roboty attitude for a Star Wars movie, I tell you.

Bombers, there are bombers. How do bombers work in space? I ask like I'm complaining, but I'm not. I'm sure there's a Lucas-y explanation. And yes I know that Lucas isn't doing this movie, of course I know that, it's like you don't even know me.

Jeez, those bombers are getting totally wasted. Probably because they're full of bombs. BOMBS, see.

This tense scene where the bomber pilot has to kick down the remote control from a precipice, this is great suspense. The pilot sacrifices herself. The first 12 minutes of this movie have a hell of a lot going for it. But also, the look of it is different from all of the others. Stark closeups for instance. Nothing wrong with it, but feels like it's very committed to this director's personal stylistic preferences.

Now we're on Hidden Skywalker Island to find out how this plot thickens. It's a cool contrast from the space battle. And it's got Rey. And Porgs!

0:16:40 - Snoke's proper throne room. With Actual Snoke because it turned out the other one from the last movie was pretend-like. This throne room was put together by a visionary interior designer who really likes red.

Luke drinks some green milk from a plump creature who looks at Rey like she's saying "have some, it's pretty good, seriously you gotta try it, it comes from my nipples".

The scene with Rey and Luke in the book cave, it's good, I think. It's ever so slightly witty, but it makes sense as a way to get past the stubborn impasse the two were in before.

Kylo hesitated to blow up his mom because he's not too happy with his Dark Side family rn. But she's blowed up anyway and it's a pretty visceral image when that happens. Fortunately she is kind of Jesus so it's fine, she's fine, we're all fine here now thank you, how are you?

Hah, the Porgs are shaming Chewy into not eating a dead Porg! Porgs are way less in-your-face in this movie than Ewoks are in that other movie.

Enter Laura Dern! Conveys intelligence and confidence. I bet internet dicks hated her for no good reason. Other than that they are working in a non-descript office building in central Russia. Anyway, her friction with Poe is cool because she's being rational and it's just hard to argue against her points.

0:39:00 - Enter Kelly Marie Tran! Rose! Of course Sergei and Boris are social media bullies about this character. But even though she's coming into this story a little late, she's already gotten some solid character development.

So this is something I'm only realizing because I just watched Empire Strikes Back, but the two movies have similar structures in addition to being middle-of-the-trilogy movies. They both go back and forth between two subplots; one about a Jedi training a rookie on a planet, the other about just the good guys desperately trying to outrun a dauntingly large space fleet of bad guys.

Hah, Porgs getting pesky in the Millennium Falcon, I'd forgotten that.

Not so much with the wipes between scenes in this one but that one at 53:55 was neat.

And now we're in an actual casino! It's the Star Wars universe's version of Monaco. Lots of fun creatures and robots, but shot with a very flashy style that seems more obtrusive than how Lucas just peeks around in the Cantina.

The Master Codebreaker is literally Errol Flynn circa 1925.

1:00:50 - The first flashback of The Luke/Ben Incident. Kinda Rashomon-esque.

Benicio Del Toro. I love the guy, but there is often a sense in his movies that he had a very persuasive conversation with the director to let him do odd quirks with how he talks, and the director just grimaced and hoped it would turn out okay.

They break out of the stables with the racing animals, and stampede their way through the casino, satisfying!

But also, this whole Monaco planet is so like Monaco, so specifically, that it's not very galaxy-far-far-away.

First time we see Luke in the Rashomon flashback with the 'bout-to-kill-Ben look, that is a mighty fine facial expression from Mark Hamill.

1:14:35 - We're at the highly abstract Nightmare Cave sequence. This is a little indulgent, I bet Lucas did not like. He probably didn't like the equivalent sequence in The Force Awakens, but for what it's worth, I super like that one.

Rey and Kylo having a connection, I think we're not supposed to like it, and maybe that's the point? I'm okay with that. As long as it doesn't turn out that they are twin siblings separated at birth and gee what a shocking twist that would be <eye roll>.

I bet it took some discipline to have the Finn/Poe/Rose subplot be relatively simple.

1:29:00 - Weird little coffin craft Rey gets in to go to Kylo's ship. Oh, and the shot of coming out of lightspeed facing the bottom of the Destroyers! Cool!

1:30:55 - Hah! You thought they'd forgotten how to be funny, but then they do that clothes-iron gag. I like it. Reminds me of the coat hanger gag in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"I know where the nearest escape pods are" "Course you do". Hah.

Snoke telling Rey "I connected you because I knew Kylo was weak" sounds like an internet troll. Am I hung up on that? On internet trolls?

Big hanger full of troops and even flying TIE fighters inside the hanger, looks great.

Very grim situation now… the intended plan completely fell apart, and now the escape transport plan is completely screwed, and Rey is just helpless it looks like. Or is that just what it LOOKS like.

Snoke death is neat. Also neat are his guards' variable, flexible sword things. Also also neat is how the one guard gets tossed into an electro-processer and shoots out red flakes!

1:50:42 - Oh, my favorite thing, a magic battle. As Rey and Kylo try to out-Force each other to Force-get the light saber, it all comes down to who Force-gets better.

But then! Then it DOESN'T suck because they equally Force-get so hard that it just breaks, and then the neatest of all the parts of this movie, LD lightspeed-spearing the master bad guy ship! Awesome visuals and sound.

"You're a bug in the system" "Let's go chrome-dome". That's a pretty Lucas-y dialogue exchange.

As they fly away from the destruction, I love the look, how much detail there is to the wreckage.

Yeah, this final planet has those ice fox things! It feels like this Episode has slightly less zeal for "delightful new creatures", but it's not NO zeal.

Also this is the planet where the surface is salt, but under the salt surface is a mineral that is very red, for reasons of it looks cool, I guess. There's even a mechanic which can't possibly make sense, where these crafts NEED to drag on the surface just a teeny bit. But so what, I like to look at it. I'd rather look at that than look at YOU.

The underground blood crystal cave is a damn fine sight to see.

Not sure I care that much about the quick drama about Finn trying to Kamikaze the big gun and Rose stopping him. Although Rose saying "saving what we love" makes it kinda sweet and now I'm sorry I pooh-poohed it. But she gives him a little kiss, which is the only remotely romance-y thing in this new trilogy so far and do we need that? Whatever, I root for both of these characters.

We just saw the gold dice from Solo. But this movie came out before Solo, so I guess we were all like "dude what the hell is THAT". I wonder whose idea the dice was.

"Do you think that you got him". So, this reminded me when I first saw it of an early Mark Hamill movie called The Big Red One. A war drama with him and Lee Marvin, probably right around the same time as Empire. In that movie, MH shoots again and again and again at a definitely-already-dead German soldier. He just keeps shooting the corpse. Lee Marvin walks up to him as he's doing it and whispers in his ear, "I think you got him". Gotta be a deliberate reference, right? Pretty obscure one if so

Hah, Poe and Rey hadn't met yet, that wasn't obvious until now.

Okay, the final scene. It's a cool final scene, but… okay so the first time I saw it, I definitely didn't notice that the kid levitated the broom all casual-like. But I noticed it in later viewings and was like "oh, how did I miss that". Well I'LL TELL you how, because it is super freaking subtle! It's like it changes every time or something. It is FREAKING  me OUT.

But I still really like this movie. It is full of tons of great qualities, and only minor issues. It's surprisingly witty, and has a lot of non-Lucas style to it, which would be a problem if it didn't feel so genuinely inspired. So nice try, Anatoly! Go fuck yourself, Fyodor! You can turn neighbors against each other, Yuri, but you can't make me hate The Last Jedi!

(next: The Rise of Skywalker)

[jbankai89]

Never Let Me Go [15/37]

A/N: Next update will be November 14th. I am being swamped by work right now, so I didn't have as much time as usual to edit this. Hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless! :)

Chapter Fourteen – Choices

“Wh-what?” Yuri stared at the alpha in shock, certain that he'd misheard him.

“I am doing what I should have done a long time ago,” Otabek explained patiently, “and I am letting you leave.”

“But you can't,” Yuri protested, then too late realized how that could sound, and as he strove to ignore the way his face grew warm as he elaborated. “I mean, if I leave, a House Catcher will just pick me up again, and I'll be back at square one.”

Yuri wanted to be angry, but when Otabek answered the omega's point with a smile, he found himself caught by confusion instead.

“Considering I have no plans of making you endure that again, I have two options for you,” Otabek said with a note of confidence in his voice. “You and your grandfather can choose the one that best suits your needs; I won't try to sway you one way or the other. If you don't like my suggestions, by all means, let me know if there's something else you'd prefer.”

Otabek paused, and he levelled his gaze with Yuri and Nikolai. Yuri, too stunned to speak, was unable to say much of anything, and instead gaped at Otabek with a blank look of shock. After a moment of silence, Otabek resumed his speech.

“I have sifted through Russia's laws, but I cannot find anything that would guarantee you safe passage if I were to relinquish property rights of you,” Otabek began, steepling his fingers as he spoke, and he focused his gaze momentarily upon his knees before he returned his gaze to Yuri. “Someone from an Omega House would come to fetch you right away if I did that, and we'd be all right back where we started.” Yuri inclined his head in a small nod of understanding; in this, he understood that Otabek wasn't bluffing. He'd read through the laws quite thoroughly himself before he turned sixteen, and he knew Otabek was not making anything up—yet. Yuri still could not let go of that final tendril of doubt that there had to be a catch somewhere in all of this.

“What do you propose, then?” Nikolai asked, and he, too, carried a guarded tone to his words, for which Yuri was grateful. His grandfather had always been a trusting man, but he seemed to at least have a better measure of Otabek than Yuri had anticipated—to blindly trust an alpha, especially one like Otabek would be a massively bad move.

“I've come up with two options, as I said,” Otabek replied smoothly, as though completely unbothered by Yuri and Nikolai's lack of trust in his sentiments. “The first is you two leave the country. Denmark, Sweden, wherever you want to go that is safer for omegas, I will get you there and offer you a small sum for a house and whatever equipment you might need to resume your fishing business, if you wish, or enough for you to retire comfortably, Mr Plisetsky.”

Nikolai nodded, though the expression was stiff, and Yuri doubted that Otabek had caught the edge of disapproval upon his grandfather's face. Nikolai Plisetsky had never been one to accept handouts in any capacity.

“What is your second offer, Mr Altin?” Nikolai asked, his voice adopting a cold edge to it, and Otabek frowned a little, though he did not comment on the older man's tone.

“The second option I have come up with is to smuggle Yuri out of the city, to another part of the country, and both of you would undergo something of a...makeover. I'd arrange for you two to have your names changed, and Yuri would be given Betacitomol.”

Stunned silence followed Otabek's words. Betacitomol was not unknown to Yuri, but he never thought he'd hear Otabek make mention of it. Yuri stared at him, expecting him to suddenly proclaim that he was kidding (barring the fact that Yuri couldn't remember Otabek ever making a joke about anything in the time that he'd known him) but his expression did not change. Before Yuri could remark on this, his grandfather got there first.

“And next you'll tell us that you have the Holy Grail stashed in your home somewhere,” Nikolai replied in a derisive tone that Yuri had never heard him use before. “The drug that masks the omega scent and makes them register to an alpha's senses as a beta? It is a myth, Mr Altin.”

Without a word, Otabek reached into his pocket and withdrew a plastic prescription bottle filled with little blue pills. Even at a distance, Yuri could easily read the label.

Betacitomol.

“I suppose they don't make myths like they used to,” Otabek said dryly, his mouth twitching at the corners into a small smirk. He slid the bottle back into his pocket, and nodded at Yuri and Nikolai in turn. “I'll leave you two alone to discuss it,” he said, and excused himself from the room without another word.

Yuri watched him go, his free arm picking absently at his cast. His grandfather reached over and gently pulled his hand away, and at the same time drawing the omega's attention back to him.

“What would you like to do, Yuri?” he asked, and Yuri shrugged, though he immediately regretted it when the small action caused his shoulders to ache painfully from the still-healing marks upon his back.

“I don't know,” he replied belatedly as he settled back against his pillows. “I'm still having a hard time processing the idea of leaving this place—and it's not like I can for a little while—not like this, anyway. And I don't want to make you learn a whole new language or culture just for me, and—”

“—the most important thing to me is making sure that you are safe,” Nikolai interrupted, “and I will do that no matter if I have to learn one new language, or one hundred. I feel that it would be safer to leave the country, but it is up to you. This is your life, Yuratchka, and your decision.”

“I don't know,” Yuri said with a small groan, and reached his uninjured hand up to massage at his temples. “I don't know what is a safer option.”

“If we leave the country and acquire citizenship, the government here cannot order you to return and send you to another Omega House. It takes time, though, but I think your...friend might be able to help us on that front. If we leave, it is likely we would never be able to return, Yuri.”

“I'll never see my friends again,” Yuri filled in, and Nikolai nodded solemnly.

“I am afraid so,” he replied, and nodded once, before his expression turned stern. “Do not make your decision for them, Yuratchka,” he said seriously, “you must do what is best for you. Friends come and go in life, but this decision will affect your entire future. In this, you must be selfish.”

I must be selfish.

Images of Yuuri and Minami floated into his mind's eye, and he felt his stomach turn over guiltily. Could he really abandon them to save his own skin? Did he even have a choice?

“Grandpa, what should I choose?” Yuri asked him desperately, “what is even the right decision?”

Nikolai smiled sadly, but didn't answer.

~*~

The days passed slowly, and still Yuri came to no decision.

With the help of his grandfather, Yuri was transported back to his bedroom, where he came to find that a second bed had been brought up. When Nikolai wasn't sleeping on it, he was sitting up with Yuri and keeping him company. Otabek stepped in occasionally to check in on them, but was always quick to leave again. Each time, Yuri did not miss the look of genuine longing and grief in the alpha's eyes, though to Yuri it appeared as though Otabek was making an effort to hide his anguish. Yuri understood now that Otabek really and truly did not want him to go, but he was letting him go nonetheless.

The alpha, it seemed, had finally learnt to put someone else's needs above his own.

Yuri hated how indecisive that was making him.

He couldn't stay here—he wouldn't.

So why was he suddenly so reluctant to leave?

Yuri came to no answer to the question that plagued him, and once again, forced it to the back of his mind.

~*~

Two weeks later Yuri was still laid up in bed, but with a visitor at his side.

Yuuri was smiling at him warmly, and he looked happier and healthier than Yuri could recall ever seeing him before. At sixteen weeks, his stomach was still not very large, but big enough with the three lives inside him that he could no longer be mistaken for simply bloated. Yuuri looked distinctly flushed, which he claimed was from the pregnancy and not some kind of strange embarrassment, but otherwise he looked happy and content.

Despite Otabek's dire warnings that he shouldn't, Yuri took a chance and told Yuuri everything that had happened—including their escape plans.

Predictably, Yuuri's eyes flooded with tears as he reached for Yuri's uninjured hand, and he gave it a firm squeeze.

“Oh, Yuri, that's amazing,” Yuuri sniffed and rubbed his eyes. “Of course I won't tell anyone, but I'll miss talking to you. You're my best friend.”

Yuri blinked.

Best friend?

“No one's called me their best friend before,” Yuri blurted out before he could think better of it, and Yuuri squeezed his hand a little harder.

“Well, you're mine,” Yuuri replied with a watery smile. “You're a voice of reason in a place that's governed by emotion and instinct. You need to do what's right for you, of course, but I really will miss you. Maybe we can learn Morse Code and send audio messages to each other, or something, until you get citizenship wherever you end up, if you decide to leave the country, I mean.”

“Or something,” Yuri replied with a weak laugh, and Yuuri's small smile brightened. “You look...good, by the way. Did something happen? I don't think I've ever seen you this happy.”

“Nothing really big,” Yuuri said as he shrugged, “Viktor's just been...really good lately. Sort of like between you and Otabek. Just...lots of personal stuff, but trying to give me as much freedom as he can, and make up for...” Yuuri trailed off, and brushed his hand across his abdomen significantly.

“Not sure anything can really make up for that,” Yuri pointed out, “I mean, he practically r—”

“—he didn't,” Yuuri interrupted, and Yuri's eyes widened a little in shock at the cold note of warning in his friend's voice. “He never mistreated me like that. Even Viktor said he did that but he didn't...I know he didn't.” Yuri blanched as Yuri's eyes became distinctly glassy, but he continued before Yuri could interject an apology. “I don't care, Yuri, I know I probably sound like a nutcase, but please, don't say it like that—because he never hurt me like that. Maybe he did other things, but not—”

Yuuri broke off when a hiccoughing sob that stopped him from continuing. He cupped his face in his hands as his eyes flooded with tears, his cheeks blotchy, and Yuri opened and closed his mouth while he grasped at air, trying to think of what he could say that would calm Yuuri down. However, Yuuri continued before he could say a word.

“I—I know you have lots of strong feelings about our lives,” Yuuri said softly as he removed his glasses to mop his tears away with the edge of his sweater. “I do too, and a lot of bad things happen to us, and we are barely in control of any of it, and we don't have much choice beyond just needing to hope that a good alpha takes us in, and takes care of us. I know it's not right, and I know you won't agree that we should just lie down and take it, but, Yuri, I'm not like you. I'm not strong enough for that. Viktor has been s-so good to me lately, and I don't want to hear you saying things against him.”

Yuri stared at his friend, Yuuri breathing shallowly, and wiping his eyes again and again as he tried to staunch the flow of tears. He had no idea how much of what he had just said was the pregnancy hormones making him act this way, and how much of it was genuine. Did Yuuri really not realize just how badly Viktor had messed him up? Why didn't he want to acknowledge what everyone knew—that Viktor did rape him? Was pushing Yuuri to see the truth even a good idea in his state? Yuri had no idea. What he was sure of however was the physical tells that Yuuri needed physical comfort, and he had a feeling that he knew exactly who Yuuri wanted right at that moment.

“I'm sorry,” Yuri said softly, “I didn't mean to upset you...do you want me to call Otabek to get Viktor for you?”

Yuuri let out something like a whimper, and wiped his eyes again as he nodded.

Yuri turned away from his friend and to the bedside table where an old iPhone model was resting. The last time he'd used a phone was when he was fifteen, and so relearning how to use one was proving a little challenging. However, he still remembered how to text, and composed a quick message to Otabek:

Can you send Viktor up? Pregnancy hormones are making Yuuri a little needy.

Yuri sent off the text, and not a full minute later the silver-haired alpha burst into the room and made a beeline for Yuuri, acting as though Yuri, laid up in bed, was completely invisible.

Yuri watched uncomfortably as Viktor pulled Yuuri into his arms, and with another feeble sob, the omega threw himself at his mate. From such a close proximity, Yuri could hear practically every word of their private conversation.

“Yuuri, my Yuuri,” Viktor murmured as he pet his hair gently, “what's the matter? Did Yurio upset you?”(Yuri bristled at the use of his hated nickname, but did not interrupt.)

“No, not really,” Yuuri replied, and sniffed again, “just got...a little upset.”

“I can see that, come here...”

Viktor trailed off, and pulled Yuuri in for a gentle kiss. He stroked his hair, and whispered to him, little things so soft that Yuri had no chance of overhearing, even at such a short distance away. Yuri watched them with mingled fascination and unease. Viktor's eyes were soft, and a look of adoration rested there as he held onto his omega, rocking him as though he were a child, and letting Yuuri cling to him without complaint. His soft smile never wavered, and he appeared wholly unbothered by Yuuri's tears, but patiently waited for him to calm down. Slowly, their kisses petered out and Yuuri stopped crying. He lifted his head off Viktor's shoulder, his eyes a little puffy, and Viktor offered him another warm, adoring smile.

“Feel better?” Viktor asked while he reached out to brush a few stray tears from the omega's cheek. Yuuri nodded, and sniffed a little.

“I'm sorry,” Yuuri mumbled as he dropped his gaze, “I didn't mean to get so upset, I don't even know why I got so upset...”

“Your body is in overdrive keeping the lives inside you healthy,” Viktor said, his tone indicating to Yuri that likely he'd told Yuuri this a few dozen times before. “Sometimes that makes you have...let's say, different reactions to things.”

“I know, I'm sorry,” Yuuri repeated, and Viktor chuckled a little as he brushed a kiss to Yuuri's forehead.

“I'll be nearby if you need me; do you feel all right now?”

“Yeah,” Yuuri said as he nodded, and rubbed at his eyes again. “Sorry.”

Viktor appeared for a moment as though he was going to say something, perhaps remind Yuuri that he didn't need to say sorry, but instead he smiled warmly, offered Yuuri a gentle kiss and hug, then left the pair of omegas alone.

“He really cares for you,” Yuri observed, and Yuuri smiled bashfully.

“I think so,” Yuuri replied, and smiled bashfully as he spoke. “I wasn't sure at first, but I think he does. I think...I care about him too, and...I—I think I could learn to love him.”

Yuri offered his friend a small nod, but did not remark on the repetitive quality of his statement. Clearly he was approaching the stage of his pregnancy where he reacted strongly to random things, and Yuri wasn't overly keen to upset him again. He wasn't sure how he felt about Yuuri and Viktor's situation, whether or not it was okay to learn to love someone out of circumstance, especially someone who quite literally raped them, and not be together simply because they want to be.

“If it's what you want, Yuuri, then I'm happy for you,” Yuri said at last, and the other omega smiled at him, apparently not noticing his lack of sincerity behind the words.  

“It is...I mean, I think it is.” Yuuri winced, and shook his head a little. “I don't know. But...what about you? Have you come to any decisions about Otabek's offer?”

Yuri winced at the question, and did not immediately answer. He could tell that it was Yuuri's attempt to get the conversation away from himself, but Yuri was no more keen to discuss his situation than Yuuri was. He picked at a loose thread on the blanket he lay on, and he tried to think of how to answer him.

“Yuri?” Yuuri asked tentatively, and Yuri heaved a sigh.

“No,” he said at last, his voice escaping him as a heavy, defeated sigh. “I have no idea what to do. I mean, I know that leaving the country is the best option, but my grandpa is old. His whole life is here. He told me to be selfish with my decision, and I know which would be the better option for us, but how can I ask him to just...just...leave everything he knows behind and start in a new place, with a new language and culture and everything?”

“It's a small price to pay for your lives,” Yuuri said seriously. “All of you are taking a huge risk doing this, and if you're caught...If you're lucky, you'll go back to an Omega House, but more likely, you'll be sent to a Foster Alpha for retraining.”

Both omegas shivered at that.

“And what would happen to Otabek, do you think?” Yuri asked uncertainly, and when Yuuri gave him a knowing look, he felt his face get very warm.

“I don't know,” Yuuri replied with a small shrug, “I don't know how punishments for alphas work, and I never thought to ask Viktor about it.” He paused, and regarded the younger omega again. “Do you want me to? Ask him, I mean.”

“No, that's fine,�� Yuri said awkwardly, “I think I'd rather not know. Anyway, in this country there probably isn't any sort of real punishments for alphas.”

“Hmm,” Yuuri nodded, a small grimace upon his face. The truth of the statement was far from pleasing, and it did little beyond reaffirm to Yuri that despite his reservations, leaving the country was still his safest option.

Before Yuri could offer his friend any sort of proper answer, a soft tapping on the bedroom door drew the pair from their conversation, and they looked over to see Otabek poking his head inside. Yuri twined his fingers through the blanket he lay on, and he frowned at the way his whole body seemed to tingle with anticipation at the mere sight of the alpha.

“Sorry to interrupt, but, Yuri, may I speak with you a moment?” Otabek asked, “privately?”

The pair of omegas exchanged a look, and with a shared mental shrug, they both refocused their gazes on Otabek.

“Yeah, sure,” Yuri said as Yuuri got up and took his leave of the room. He paused at the door, glancing back at his friend, and Yuri nodded once in encouragement before Yuuri finally slipped out, and Otabek closed the door behind him.

Otabek stepped toward Yuri, the omega fidgeting nervously as the alpha made his approach. His nerves, for once, were not brought on by Otabek's presence in the strictest sense, but rather a strange sort of relief at seeing him again. Yuri didn't know what it meant, and he didn't like this strange neediness he was now feeling for the alpha—how he would become stressed and uneasy if he went too long from seeing Otabek, even if it was brief, and Yuri did not want to entertain this new dependence his brain seemed to have adopted for him—especially when he was supposed to leave once his injuries had healed.

After Otabek sat down, he shifted as though he wanted to reach out and touch Yuri, but curbed the impulse as he sat back and laced his fingers together. His expression was guarded and pensive, and Yuri found himself, as usual, at a loss for what could possibly be on his mind.

“I have some news about Minami,” Otabek said, and Yuri's breath stilled.

“Is he okay?” Yuri asked uncertainly, and Otabek's mouth twisted into a bitter smile.

“If you're asking if he's safely away from his alpha, then, yes, he's okay,” Otabek said, and Yuri's shoulders sagged with relief. “If you are asking if he is whole and well...then no, he is far from okay.”

“I don't understand,” Yuri said, and frowned at the alpha. “Is he okay or not?”

“Let me start from the beginning,” Otabek said as he rubbed his hand across his jaw in a movement of deep stress, though for once, Yuri wasn't sure what the cause of it was. “Mr Lee was a member of The Seven Star, or Chil Sung Pa—an organized crime syndicate not unlike Japan's Yakuza. I had no way to get to Minami; Seung-Gil was too well-connected, and no matter what he's done, there was no way to bypass all of Lee's privacy measures and reach his omega.”

Yuri stared. Many of the words went right over his head, and he found himself wholly incapable of processing what he was hearing. Minami, bound to a gangster? Yuri shook his head a little, and tried again to form his thoughts into a more clear and linear fashion. At the same moment, Yuri noted the tense in which Otabek spoke.

“Was?” he asked, and Otabek smirked.

“I did not get where I am because of my looks, Yuri,” Otabek said, and withdrew from his pocket a tiny, empty vial.

Something about Otabek's cold smile suddenly made Yuri feel slightly sick, and his hands tensed into fists over his blankets.

“Otabek,” Yuri murmured nervously, “what did you do?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Otabek replied smoothly, though Yuri did not believe him for a second. “I attended a dinner recently, a number of my Asian investment groups were in attendance, so it was natural that we chose an Asian restaurant to conduct our business in—sushi, to be precise.

“It's fascinating, really, what lengths humans will go to prove themselves to their colleagues, and when I pronounced that I'd never risk my life by eating something as dangerous as fugu—puffer fish—well, Mr Lee immediately ordered a platter of fugu sashimi for himself, and wouldn't you know, it can be poisonous—deadly, in fact—if incorrectly prepared.

“The next day, quite by chance, the police received a frantic call from a servant of the Lee household. Seung-Gil Lee was dead—fugu poisoning. Tragic, really, I hear death by tetrodotoxin is quite painful.”

Otabek looked markedly pleased with himself, but Yuri felt positively sickened. He couldn't deny that someone like Seung-Gil probably deserved what was coming to him, but at the same time, to gaze at Otabek and see his calm, pleased expression, as though he'd done some sort of good deed was deeply chilling to see.

“A-and what about Minami?” Yuri asked uncertainly.

“He's downstairs,” Otabek replied smoothly, apparently unaffected by his admittance that he'd committed murder. “He just got here. Michele had apparently put in a bid for him, but by a stroke of luck, I got there first. The authorities have agreed to let me shelter him either until an unbound alpha makes a bid for him, or a House has space to take him in. I called my doctor, and he is seeing to Minami's injuries, and I have made contact with a psychologist to assess the damage Mr Lee has done to his mind.” He paused and eased back a little in his seat, and as he levelled his gaze with Yuri again, his expression shifted from gratified to concerned. “What's wrong, Yuri? I thought you'd be pleased that your friend is out of danger.”

“No, I am glad that he's safe,” Yuri explained nervously, “but...but...you just...you killed a man and you're acting like it's nothing.”

“I'd hardly call someone who hurts a person in their care a man,” Otabek countered, and Yuri's frown deepened.

“You still killed someone, Otabek!” Yuri hissed, and he growled a curse when he felt a lump of emotion settle itself in his throat. “You...you didn't have to kill him, just get Minami away from him!”

“And if it got back to him who took his omega, there would be hell to pay,” Otabek countered with a frown, “the safest option to get Minami out of there and keep you from harm was the final option. I don't understand why you're so upset about this.”

“And I don't understand how you could be so calm about this!” Yuri countered, his voice close to hysterical.

“You know what? Forget it,” Otabek snapped as he jumped up from his chair so quickly that it wobbled dangerously, and nearly toppled over. “I don't know what the hell I expected when I decided to do as you asked and get that omega away from his alpha. I don't know why I anticipated a thank-you or some sort of gratitude when you've systematically thrown my hospitality back in my face every single time. You know what, Yuri? I'm glad I gave up on wooing you, I have never in my life met someone so ungrateful as you in my entire life, and maybe I will finally know some peace once you've gone.”

Before Yuri could say a word, Otabek stormed towards the door, and slammed it shut behind him.

Yuri stared at the shut door for a long time, assuming Otabek would come back and apologize. When he never did, Yuri tugged his blanket up to his chin, and valiantly ignored the unpleasant sting of unshed tears in his eyes.

Otabek had never been worth crying over, and Yuri refused to start now.

A/N: If you like my work, please consider throwing a few bucks into my Digital Tip Jar. I am a starving artist, and I like not actually starving to death :P you can also support me on Patreon, where I am posting all things related to my upcoming cookbook. Simply Vegan

NLMG Masterpost

[poorlilbeans]

Keep FightinG (pARt Sicks!) (see what i did there?)

this fic. is so long. why am i doing this. anywho this part has a whole lot of talking... WE FINALLY HAVE A DIAGNOSIS, Y’ALL. WHOOP WHOOP! but yeah there’s also some fluff in there bc i am hardcore victuuri trash sooooo... yeah i hope you have as much fun reading it as i am having writing it :)

When Victor woke up, Yuuri had still been asleep, and that was weird in itself. Normally, not only did Yuuri suffer from insomnia, but he was an incredibly light sleeper. Someone could sneeze two cities over and somehow, some way, it would wake him up. Today, however, he didn’t stir when Victor got out of the bed and fixed the covers around him, untangling the IV chord that had somehow wrapped around his blanket during the night. 

Victor needed to get out of that hospital room. He needed to be doing something other than worrying. It was 6:30 in the morning. He figured he could get about an hour of practice in before the nurses would be waking Yuuri. It was better than nothing.

Yet again, skating proved easier said than done. He was distracted, constantly wondering if Yuuri was awake yet. The English-speaking nurse probably wouldn’t be in for her shift yet, so he’d be alone, unable to understand anyone, missing Victor...

No. He wasn’t awake yet. Obviously. Victor barely stopped for breath for the entire hour, skating as hard as he could through the fog of worry that engulfed him. On the way out, around 8:00, he ran into Yurio. 

“What are you doing here?” Yuri asked, like it was completely inconceivable for a professional figure skater to be at an ice rink.

“Skating,” he answered slowly, tentatively. “I was just heading back to the hospital.” Yuri regarded him with an uncharacteristic look of unmasked concern.

“Tell Katsudon I said hi,” he whispered, pushing past Victor.

By the time he got back to the hospital, the male nurse from yesterday had roused Yuuri and appeared to be having language-barrier issues with him.

“You drink water,” the nurse was carefully saying, to a very pale and very confused Yuuri. It was a simple request, but he didn’t seem to understand, and the nurse didn’t have enough English to rephrase. Victor entered, and Yuuri immediately seemed to forget about the nurse, letting out a low whine and reaching out towards him. Taking his hand, Victor turned to the nurse and asked, in Russian,

“Is everything alright?”

“We’re a little feverish right now,” the nurse answered. “He seems to have forgotten that he can’t drink water without moving the oxygen mask, but he won’t let me touch him to move it for him.” Victor turned back to Yuuri, who was gazing at him with bright, unfocused eyes.

“Are you thirsty, love?” Victor said softly, rubbing his knuckles.

“No. Hurts to move.” That made sense. The nurse had removed the blanket and the long pajama pants to keep Yuuri from overheating any more, and it revealed that his elbows, knees, wrists and ankles were flushed red and disturbingly swollen. He lay stiffly, awkwardly, making it clear that his joints were not tolerating any movement. 

“That’s okay,” Victor whispered, doing his best to mask his concern. “I’ll do all the moving for you, alright?” Yuuri hummed, either too delirious or too sore to nod, and Victor gently removed the oxygen mask and brought the cup of water to his lips.

Yuuri managed a few sips of water before whining in protest, punctuating it with a little hiccup. Alright then, no more water. Victor put the mask back in place, hoping it would be enough incentive for the delirious man to try and avoid throwing up. Once they were settled, the nurse spoke again. 

“We got his results back from the blood lab. They didn’t find any evidence of disease, except that he’s producing auto-antibodies.”

“Which means?”

“Which means it’s safe to assume that whatever’s making him so ill is some kind of autoimmune disorder. His combination of symptoms is pretty unique, but individually, they’re all symptoms of various autoimmune disorders. So that means we don’t have a name for the disease, but we are able to start treating it.” Victor didn’t really understand, but he nodded anyway, squeezing Yuuri’s hand protectively. “For the moment, however,” the nurse continued, “we need to focus on getting that fever down.”

It took hours. Thankfully, Yuuri didn’t seem too uncomfortable, save for his inability to move without aggravating the painful inflammation in his joints. Victor climbed into bed with him again, whispering reassurances in his ear. The sensation of Victor’s breath on his neck tickled, and Yuuri giggled deliriously for several minutes. The nurse elevated his broken ankle, and covered his arms and legs in ice packs to try and bring the swelling down. Every time he added a pack, Yuuri yelped, cursing in Japanese at the cold. Victor just held him, trying not to despair at how... different he looked. How ill. He was so pale. He’d visibly lost weight, too- weight he definitely didn’t need to lose- but the Prednisone being pumped through his IV (to reduce inflammation, ironically enough) caused his face to swell up, so he somehow looked gaunt and puffy at the same time. The worst part, though, was his eyes. Normally, Victor could stare at Yuuri’s eyes for hours and not get bored. They were so expressive; they sparkled, shifted around, widened and narrowed- he could portray emotions with his eyes better than he could with any words. Now, though, they were dull and confused. Victor couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact for more than a few moments, because those weren’t Yuuri’s eyes. 

It felt like hours before his temperature began to go down, and when it did, it seemed like a miracle- until Victor looked into Yuuri’s wonderful, expressive eyes, and saw nothing but pain and fear.

“When are they going to let me go home?” he whispered. Victor almost missed the delirium; at least then, Yuuri hadn’t been quite so aware of how miserable he felt.

“I- I don’t know, my love. But they know what’s wrong now. They’re going to make you better.”

A little while later, the English-speaking nurse arrived with Yuuri’s first dose of immunosuppressants. 

“You’re going to be on both for a while,” she told him. “Once you go home you can take the Prednisone orally, and you can wean off of it slowly until you’re just on the immunosuppressants.”

“For how long?” was Yuuri’s fearful response.

“Well... forever. You’ll be on the immunosuppressants forever.” Yuuri was visibly holding back tears as he obediently swallowed the pill. The nurse offered him another inhaler, which he took wordlessly. “Since we know the source of your breathing troubles, we’re starting you on a preventative inhaler for a while. Hopefully, once the drugs start working, you won’t need it any more. I thought you could try a few minutes without being on oxygen, and see if your breathing is any better.” Yuuri just nodded, cuddling sadly into Victor’s side. “Do you understand why you’re taking these medications?” He shook his head; Victor felt silent tears soaking his T-shirt. “An autoimmune disease,” the nurse told him, “is when you have an overactive immune system. In most cases, it attacks another part of the body; the digestive system, the skin... but for you, it has attacked multiple parts. It seems to have affected your digestive system, your respiratory system, your nervous system... it’s likely your fever is a defense mechanism; your body is under the attack of your body.” Yuuri didn’t answer, so the nurse kept talking. “Chances are, you were born with the disease, but it was inactive until now. The goal is to make it inactive again with medication, but most people have the occasional flare-up after diagnosis. Usually it’s random, but environmental factors do sometimes play a role in it. Some people have flare-ups after switching to a new medication or eating a new food. Extreme stress is also known to cause flare-ups.” Then, after so much prolonged silence, Yuuri laughed. Hard.

“What’s so funny?” Victor and the nurse asked in unison.

“I am stress,” Yuuri cackled. “I am the human manifestation of stress.”

“It’s entirely possible that’s what brought it out in the first place. Were you particularly stressed out before you got sick?”

“Yeah,” he answered, still giggling. “It was right before a competition. I had panic attacks three days in a row.”

“Panic attacks? Have you been to a doctor about those?”

“Yeah, I’m on medication. The doctor here knows about it.”

“Alright. You have to be diligent about managing that. Autoimmune disorders can be tricky enough without a mental illness to set them off.” Yuuri nodded, but it was clear to Victor that he still found the irony of the situation absolutely hilarious.

Yuuri was cleared to leave two days later. He certainly wasn’t healthy; he had to be taken down to the parking lot in a wheelchair, and Victor carried him to the car, trying not to flinch at how light he had gotten. The instructions were clear and strict: Keep him on the medication. Make sure he drinks water. Don’t touch him when he has seizures, unless he’s at risk of choking. Call the doctor with any questions. Take him back for weekly checkups. If it gets out of control, call an ambulance.

They drove in silence for a while, Yuuri clutching a plastic garbage bag just in case. He’d started solid food that morning, and his stomach didn’t seem too happy about it. Eventually, at a red light, he spoke.

“I’m sorry.” Victor blinked in surprise.

“What for?”

“Just... all of this. For scaring you. For being sick. You didn’t... you... you deserve better.”

“No, don’t do that. I love you. I wish more than anything I could take the pain away from you, but I can’t, so I’m more than happy to be here for you instead.” He held up his hand, the gold engagement ring glinting in the late afternoon sun. “In sickness and in health, remember?” Yuuri’s ears tinted pink.

“I’ll never understand what god I pleased to bring you into my life.”

“Maybe,” Victor breathed, “you were wonderful all by yourself. Maybe you didn’t need to please a god to be the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Maybe even when you’re sickly and sweaty and swollen you’re still the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. Maybe, without divine intervention, I am still more in love with you than I ever imagined was possible. Maybe we’re in love just because we’re in love. Ever think of that?” Yuuri ducked his head, grinning bashfully.

“We should really get around to getting married.”

“Maybe when you can walk again.”

AHHH this fic is already way too long but i keep having ideas >.< w h y am i like this eurgh

regardless, i hope you’re enjoying it so far :)

[sarapyon]

[Translation] Cover Voice 10: Furukawa Makoto’s second interview “New discoveries for myself”

You can read his first interview here ^^

We’re going to teach you about Furukamara Makoto’s favorite things in “KIKI MONTHLY COVER VOICE” 2nd interview.

Furukawa Makoto - born on September 29 | Kumamoto Prefecture | Space Craft Entertainment Agency | Major appearances are Shoukoku no Altair (Zaganos), Fate/Apocrypha (Aka no Rider), TSUKIPRO THE ANIMATION (Kagurazaka Soushi), One Punch Man (Saitama) and more.

Photographer: Yamaguchi Hiroyuki Styling: Takayama Yoshiaki Hair make-up: Kitahara Yuri (e-mu) Writer: Gakeden Haruyo

All refresh with massage and stroll

“I go for massage when I have time between work because the shoulders can easily get stiffen. Especially when you lack sleep as they’re rubbing the sole of your feet. That’s why I feel that maintenance is important.”

“When I don’t have work, I like to hang-out with friends and do karaoke. I take walks like when I have a day off, I walk around the city while listening to a music of “Ore kakkoi! (I am cool!)” (lol), or sometimes I get off at a station that I don’t usually get off and walk around, and when I’m hungry, I like going into restaurants with set meal that I found on the way.”

I’m quite having a difficult time to deal with a bicycle

“I also like bicycles, but previously, I felt stupid when I went for a bicycle ride from my home (Azabu-Juban) to my work destination. Even though I have a navi(gation) when I commute, I found a detour by firmly (carrying the bicycle) while taking stairs (lol), I got sweaty even before I work as I travel by bicycle...... (lol), that’s why I decided not to use the bicycle from Azabu-Juban to work.”

“I started to ride a bike to lose weight for the live of ‘IDOLM@STER Side M’, but the pollen season will start by the end of March when we’re doing this interview because my nose and throat are dying now...... It’s really impossible to settle (normally) when pollen starts. But when the pollen finishes it will be the rainy season, when the rainy season is over, summer will come and I’ll have a hard time to go to my workplace because I’ll be sweating, that’s why I’ll keep it up until autumn after all (lol)”

“The only thing I am hooked on besides bicycles is an app game called ‘Fate/Grand Order’. Even myself is involved in a TV animation called ‘Fate/Apocrypha’ that will start on July. I’m really happy to be involved with a work that I like so thank you very much!”

The range of roles has expanded, and there are a lot of new discoveries!

“On May 6th, I will appear on the ‘movie version FAIRY TAIL -DRAGON CRY-’ with a character named Animus. Animus is to put it briefly, a villain (lol). I’ve experienced playing the villain several times, but it’s my first time to be a villain and as a king, so my fighting spirit started. Moreover, I’d like you to enjoy the scene at the theater where I battle with Natsu, the leading character.”

“I love how passionate Kakihara Tetsuya-san acts when he play as Natsu, I fought against Kakihara-san’s character but I don’t want to lose from him. Also I learned a lot from my standing position with no experience so far (with his role as king) as the relationship with Sonya, that Yuuki Aoi-san character plays. The tension of the actors were also passionate, that there’s a power transmitted from the animation during the recording. Although it’s an original story, it’s a feeling how the world view that ‘FAIRY TAIL’ has ever made will explode more (with popularity). ”

“Recently, I’m glad to make a discovery that the range of roles I’m going to perform is getting wider and ‘I have a side that can do this kind of thing for myself’. Also, every time I meet the staffs and cast at work with their attitude towards enthusiasm is getting me have fresh motivation.”

“At any site, everyone is serious...... But there are various kinds of seriousness as well. I think it’s wonderful to think that everything is necessary, there are people that can be happy but still worry about everyone, and there are people who’ve expressed their enthusiasm that this work is exciting. I’m still immature and I’m not quite able to give back to those people, so I hope that if I can do something or that I can add something even for a bit. I would like to contribute as Furukawa Makoto with the roles I work with.”

★Finally done translating Makonyan’s 2nd interview!! And I fangirl a bit when he mentioned about Fairy Tail -Dragon Cry- movie >w< Anyway, the 3rd interview will be out on Monday

[rozymochi]

Wrecker | 04

word count: 2.214

genre: Angst? Fluff

A/N: So this took me forever to write, and honestly I’m still not happy how it worked out. But I hope I won’t have a writers block anymore next part and there will be more readerxjimin times and readerxjungkook fluff and stuff. But don’t think there won’t be more shit going to happen, because it will lol ;)

The next morning when I woke up, Jungkook wasn’t next to me anymore. I guess he was making breakfast. Today we had to part, for a month. I hated it, but he is also an idol, so I couldn’t do anything about it. Our flights were pretty close to each other with the times. He had to fly around 10.30 am, and my flight was departing at 9.50 am. I hopped out of the bed and went to the kitchen. On my way I alreadyy smelled eggs and sausages. “ Kookie! You are cooking!” “ Off course, I have to cook for my lovely girlfriend right? I’m going to be away from you for a month. Isn’t that torture?!” I smiled, he was so cute. “ It’s not my fault that you’re an idol. But don’t be sad, I will FaceTime you everyday.” I hugged him from behind. I know he loves back hugs. “ Such a lovely girlfriend, aren’t you.” He turned around and pinched my cheeks. “ You’re so cute babe, but shouldn’t you get ready? We are leaving at 8 and it’s already 6.50.” He was right, I still had to eat, shower and get my lightish make up on. I was running out of time. “ Oh my god, is it so late already? I’m going to shower kook, don’t burn the sausages!”

The thing I hated the most was showering in the morning. I just wasn’t ready to get a splash of water over me. It was just always so uncomfortable, but since Jungkook moved in he practically made me shower in the morning everyday. No weird stuff, it’s just because you’ll be more awake and face the day with a bright face, like he said. After showering I put some make up on, no too much tho, I was traveling so my make up wouldn’t be that important right? Jungkook and I left home 10 minutes too late because of me, hehe. We stepped in to the car who was picking us up and would get us to Incheon airport on time. There were already a lot of cameras, so a mouth cap and hat was necessary. When we arrived, the boys were already there. “ Y/N! We’ll miss you.” Jimin pouted. “ I will miss u guys too, I will bring some good food from Hong Kong. But don’t forget to send pictures everyday!” I wanted to cry actually, I wouldn’t see them for a month and I had to be alone for three weeks. It wasn’t a big deal actually, but I really didn’t like to be alone. “ We are not parting for forever, it’s just a month.” Yoongi said while still being sleepy.

After I said my goodbyes to the boys, I walked together with Jungkook to my gate. “ Call me everyday okay? I want to make sure I won’t forget your pretty face.” He was concerned about me, how sweet. “ Don’t worry kookie, I will.” “ Promise?” “ Promise.” And I walked to the check-in. “ I love you y/n, don’t forget!” He yelled before I stepped in the airplane. “ I love you too Jungkook.” I said softly, maybe he didn’t even hear.

He said I love you. When I was sitting in the plane, I had lots of time to think. So that’s exactly what I did. After being offered some peanuts from the stewardess, I grabbed my laptop and started writing. It was one of the few things I did while thinking about myself and my life practically. This year I would graduate, and Jungkook and I already had made plans to take a trip to some where far away. It would be great to go away for some time. No cameras, no duties and no commands from his company or my whole fracking life. Since I’ve been with Jungkook my life has taken a complete different turn than I thought it would go, nothing unpleasant tho. It had been the most beautiful months of my life. My mind and heart was everyday hurting because of my parents and because of my fear for being alone or left alone. The stuff I was writing wasn’t a dairy or a story or something, I always wrote short lines.

Lonely lonely, forever lonely or not?

To be forgiven comes from the heart.

Friends and family are the most important things right? Sometimes I thought about writing something big with all these short lines. But well, I’m not a writer or something so that wouldn't work out anyway. I slept a while before I heard a voice waking me up telling me we arrived in Hong Kong. Finally. Home with Yuri.

I turned my phone on immediately and called Yuri. “ Yu, I have arrived, where u at right now?” I talked on the phone while searching for the exit. “ You know, you’re 12 minutes late and the food is cold now. I hate wet and cold noodles.” “ Don’t be such a crybaby yu, wet noodles are the best.” And then I saw her. With a smile on her face Yuri was standing by the exit door. I broke the call off and ran to her. All the things coming to my mind where like a tsunami. I was seeing her in real life and not on a screen. For most people one and a half month apart wouldn’t be that bad. But missing Yuri in my life was just not something that I could handle. I felt so so so happy when I saw Yuri. She immediately ran to me and hugged me, practically she jumped on me. “ I have missed you sooooo much y/n. Never go away again.” “ I have to go after a week tho.” Sad story bro “ Y/n! Don’t ruin our perfect best friend movie moment. Come girl, we have lots to catch up with.”

We did a little bit sightseeing, well actually there was nothing I hadn’t seen before because Hong Kong  was basically my second home. But some sightseeing could never be wrong. I bought some stuff I knew Jungkook liked and bought some egg tarts, something I loved dearly. At night in Yuri’s home we watched a lot of movies and talked some, well a lot. “ Where is Jungkook going to first?” She asked. “ I think Chile, or Mexico? I forgot to be honest, lol.” “ Is he going to FaceTime you soon?” “ Yu is this a interrogation or something.” I said jokingly. “ Maybe not, maybe it’s a concerned friend interrogation.” She seemed upset about something, and I couldn’t figure out what.” “ Has something happened yu?” “ You still know that guy right? Brian?” Brain was her ex-boyfriend, one she loved the most I think. She was very serious with him, but he wasn’t serious at the end. “ Did he come back?” “ No that’s not it. I want you to know that no matter what they say and do, guys don’t express their feelings that well. I don’t want you hurting like me in the end.” Was she talking about Jungkook, was she comparing Jungkook and Brian? About Brian was true. He seemed like Yuri couldn’t get a better guy than him, but in the end he was much different from then we thought. “ I understand Brian had hurt you, but Jungkook isn’t like that, I know that Yuri.” “ I think you don’t understand y/n. But let it be, I just want you and Jungkook to talk about serious stuff and your relationship when he comes back. I really want to protect you from all the pain I had been through.” Maybe she was being paranoid because of her own life/dating experiences, but maybe not. I didn’t want to mistrust Jungkook, that’s not how this was going to be. I wanted to believe in him and our relationship. That it wouldn’t be like how all my nightmare’s were like. After a tough conversation we slept for a bit, until there was some knocking on her door. “ Yuri? Are you awake?” I saw her opening her eyes and she looked sleepy as hell. “ Uhm, kinda I think, why?” “ I think someone is knocking on your door.” Eventually Yuri walked to the door and opened it. I saw two men standing in front her door, talking with her about something I couldn’t hear, one looked a bit familiar but still I couldn’t recognize him. Suddenly she grabbed her coat and said “ y/n stay here and go to sleep, I’ll come back over a few hours.” And they went away. What the heck just happened!

She wasn’t kidnapped because she voluntarily went with them, but she didn’t tell me why. And where did I recognize his face from, who was he? I texted Yuri a hundred times after but she didn’t reply, not after an hour, not after two hours and neither after three. Out of fear I called Jungkook since I couldn’t sleep either.

JUNGKOOK POV “Hyung that was such a good concert, you worked hard.” I said to Jimin. He smiled back at me and said I had too. I suddenly felt my phone ringing in my pocket. Seeing y/n’s face lighten up my phone made me smile. Until I heard her voice, scared and panicked. “ Kook? Are you there?” She sounded afraid, I immediately wanted to run to her and ask her what was wrong, but she was thousand miles away from me. “ Yes jagi, what’s wrong why are you still up this late?” “ I’m scared Jungkook, someone took Yuri.” “ What! What happened y/n are you safe?” I was shocked with the sudden information, how could this happen, and what the heck did happen? “ No, wait I’m using the wrong words, but I’m safe kookie. Let me explain properly.” She babbled about men coming at their door late at night and Yuri leaving with them, she babbled how scared she was, how scared she was something would happen to Yuri. I was afraid too, afraid something would happen to y/n, afraid that she couldn’t handle this alone, because her greatest fear was loneliness. And right now, she was all alone, scared for something that could happen to her best friend. “ Calm down y/n, everything is going to be allright. Yuri wouldn't just go with someone who would hurt her. And if she was forced she would have left behind a sign or texted you or something. Stay calm and keep talking with me baby.” “Jungkook I’m so scared, why are you not with me.” It sounded like she was keeping her tears in, trying her best not to cry. “ I’m here baby, I won’t ever leave you.” I suddenly felt a strong urge to hug her and protect her from everything in the world. Suddenly I had a strong urge to cry too. I needed a minute. “ Wait a minute jagi, I’m giving the phone to Jimin hyung for a minute. Don’t be scared okay I just have to grab something, it’ll be okay believe me. I ran to Jimin and pushed the phone in his hand. “ It’s y/n, hyung. She’s upset something happened to Yuri, talk with her for a sec please I have to grab something.” Jimin looked at Jungkook with doo-eyes, not understanding what was happening. He still grabbed the phone and talked to y/n “ Hey, it’s Jimin.” “ Hey.” “ How are you right now?” “ Still a bit frightened, I’m glad to hear your voice Jimin. You have a really calming voice.” He blushed, what did she do to him. What was it in his stomach, butterflies or something else? “ Well, that’s a good thing I think. What happened y/n?” And again y/n told the whole story. After minutes of talking Jungkook came back with his laptop. “ Hyung can I get the phone back? Thanks for talking with her.” Jimin mumbled a short sure and gave the phone back. “ Jagi, open your laptop please. And open the app I sent you.”

Y/N POV “ Jagi open your laptop.” He said after coming back. I grabbed my purse with my laptop in it and opened it. I saw a incoming message from Jungkook with a link. I clicked on it and suddenly there was an app popping up on my screen. Not minutes after I saw lots of stars on my screen. “ What is this Jungkook? It’s beautiful.” “ You know that time when we went hiking in the night?” I remember that night too well, it was one of the most beautiful nights ever. “ yes.” “ We saw a lot of stars right? These are the stars there right know, this thingy is a kind of simulator or something.” “ Wow.” It was beautiful, I could see the stars shining from my screen. And the place looked exactly like the place we went back then. Suddenly I spotted the little bench on the right side where we sat on and had our first kiss. “ Jungkook! That’s the bench, the bench where we you know-“ “ I know jagi, I know.” For minutes we didn’t talk, it was quite. But it was nice, looking at the stars, even when it wasn’t in real life. I relived that time when we went hiking. I fell asleep after the quietness and heard Jungkook saying

 “ Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams.”

A/N: I’m so done with myself.

[yoireverse]

rivalry

((hello everyone, and welcome back to the reverse au!! ♥♥♥ i’ve been savin’ this fic for a rainy day. this is dedicated to everyone who wanted to know what yuri plisetsky’s relationship was with victor + yuuri in the rev au. i hope you all enjoy this! ♥)) summary: “Is that what you think it takes to win, Yura?” The silver-haired man steps into his young rink-mate’s space, grinning ill-temperedly. “Attempting to bring honor to Russia?”

“Well,” Yuri steps further into Victor’s space, refusing to budge one bit at the twenty-three-year-old’s provocation. “It’s gotta be better than looking pretty and managing to do exactly jack shit at competitions.” Yuuri plays mediator to keep the two of them from getting into a fist fight.

word count: 3.7k rating: t ✮read on ao3 | ✮reverse au fics | ✮reverse au art →my tumblr | →em’s art blog

“It’s not that you’re out of shape, so much,” Yuuri says, humming while he runs his hands over Victor’s back. The younger man stands shock-still while tan hands run over his spine, color creeping over the bridge of his nose. “Still, your posture leaves a bit to be desired. Have you ever taken dance?”

Victor thinks back to the hellish days where Yakov had dragged him to a variety of dance studios, trying to find his niche. He’d been horrid at hip-hop, somewhat decent at tap and ballroom, and eventually, alright at ballet. Victor had been flexible enough, but Lilia had not liked him, hadn’t liked how Victor had refused to take instruction without asking questions. Besides, Yakov and Lilia had a bit of a falling out in his adolescence, so Victor had focused more on his technical elements and let the performance piece come second.

Thinking back, the lack of dedication to his PCS is probably why he hadn’t made it to the Grand Prix final until he was in his twenties. “Yeah, a couple, but it’s been a long time.” Victor thinks back to the last proper ballet lesson he’d taken. He’d been no older than fourteen, so it’s almost been ten years. Yuuri fixes him with a look, so Victor sighs in the middle of his stretches. “A very long time.”

“Anything you’re particularly comfortable with?” Yuuri’s hands burn on Victor’s shoulders, and the younger man feels slightly flustered. He tosses a glance over his shoulder at his coach, with his soft cheeks and his dark, windswept hair, casually combed back. “Victor?”

Mila snickers from afar, so Victor coughs and regains his composure. “I’m down to learn anything if it’ll take me to the podium.”

“Hmm.” Yuuri gives him a look up and down, then nods. “Alright. Let’s do some conditioning first. Yoga will help loosen you up, and then we’ll move through some core ballet movements, since that’s my dance background. Sound good?”

Victor’s heart races at the thought of Yuuri’s hands on his waist, his soft, steady voice lulling while the Japanese man steadies his pupil. He would faint on the spot, but his Russian rink-mates are all staring at him with various degrees of amusement and annoyance.

“Yep,” the twenty-three-year-old replies with a dry throat. They stay at the rink until everyone else has cleared out, Yakov leading his trail of all-stars out with a gruff clap. Once Yuuri feels like Victor has exhausted himself, they pack up and look things up online.

“How about this studio?” Yuuri flicks through the listings while Victor yawns, blue eyes squinting at the low glow of his coach’s phone. “It seems like it’ll be pretty affordable, and we’d be able to have some time to ourselves.”

The silver-haired skater gulps. He’s not entirely sure how well he’ll fare with the beautiful Japanese man being the only other person in the ballet room, surrounded by mirrors and Yuuri’s soft, crisp needling. He flushes hot and murmurs, “Yeah, we could check it out,” turning his face a bit so the five-time gold medalist doesn’t see that he’s losing his mind.

“I’ll give them a call in the morning, then,” Yuuri says, his tongue poking cutely out of his mouth while he jabs the touch screen and saves the location. Victor keeps stealing glances, because his idol is adorable, but he’s not fully comfortable with how much he wants to make a move on the older man just yet.

Yuuri’s only been coaching him for a month or so. Victor may have low impulse control, but even he’s not that bad. The two of them wander back to Victor’s apartment, where Yuuri sleeps on the roll-out futon despite Victor’s insistence that the older man take the bed.

Both of them eat a quiet dinner, Yuuri taking charge of the shopping and cooking while he stays with Victor. The younger man watches him move, as fluid in domesticity as he is on the ice. Victor blows hair out of his face.

Their plates are full of lean meat and green vegetables. Yuuri clasps his hands together, bows his head over the plate, and picks up a fork. Victor watches the Japanese man in awe, trying to shake the idealistic fog out of his mind. “So,” Yuuri starts speaking softly, patiently chewing his dinner before smiling at his new student. “Have you been thinking about your short program?”

Just like that, the happy bubble around Victor bursts. He pouts and stabs the chicken breast, feeling a little annoyed. “I mean, I guess so? Just, um…” Yuuri keeps cutting his food neatly and Victor huffs. “I wanted it to be sort of...unexpected. I really wanted to focus on being more fluid, like you.”

“The ballet lessons will help a lot, Victor.” Yuuri puts on his teaching voice and the younger man groans again. “Any ideas for your theme?”

Yuuri Katsuki is My Coach and I’m Kind of Dying, Please Send Help - that’s what he really wants to say, but that’s long-winded and awkward. “I’m thinking something about...renewed vigor for life. Something moving, like passion! I would say that my work thus far has been very cold, and I want to avoid that.”

“That’s a great start,” Yuuri says with a gentle smile, taking a long sip from his glass of water. “If you’re not up for brainstorming right now, we can put it off for later. I’ll work on the coordination of your short program; you’ll work on your flexibility. How’s that sound?”

Victor sighs airily, grinning back at his coach. “Sounds great.”

//

Yuuri-the-ice-skating-coach is a bit of a taskmaster, but he still balances their time well, skating just as much as Victor does and running him through the proper motions as they stand side by side on the ice.

Yuuri-the-ballet-instructor is relentless. “We’re going to run through the basic positions again, and watch your arms. Fully pointed toes, Victor!”

Victor is sweaty and frustrated and it is excessively difficult to bend his legs as far as Yuuri would like him to. “Yes!” He snaps back eagerly, trying to maintain his pace and force his legs to obey. They sweat out the hours on the balance beam after his conditioning is done, then they figure out how the moves will translate to his performance on the ice.

Eventually, Victor figures out a dance that makes him feel like he’s passing through water. His arms hurt, his feet hurt - everything is in pain, but the dance is graceful. Yuuri’s limbs steady him when he falters those first few days, just like Yuuri had kept Victor aligned with the balance beam. “You’ve done this your whole life,” the olive-skin man reminds him, taking a moment to skate off and push his flyaway hairs away from his face. “You’re just adding something new to the routine. Yeah?”

Victor huffs, putting his hands on his knees and drinking in the proud look of Yuuri’s attentive eyes. “Yeah.” Victor pulls himself up and puffs out his chest.

The two of them aren’t the last ones in the rink this time.

Yuri Plisetsky is waiting for them, tugging his skate guards on with a scowl. “Oy,” the teenager sidles over with his hands in his pockets. “Aren’t you assholes supposed to flirt and do all that gross stuff after you leave?”

Yuuri gives him a blank stare, not sure whether he should be laughing or gaping at the young man. “Uhh?”

Victor scowls at his rink-mate. “Yura. We’re not flirting.” As much as I wish that we were, Victor mentally laments, but for the time being, he narrows his eyes. “If you pay attention, you’ll see that much like you, Georgi, and Mila are practicing routines with Yakov, Yuuri and I are working on a short program for the season. Stop acting like a child.”

“I am a child,” Yuri snarls back, unafraid to step into Victor’s face while he crosses his arms over his black turtleneck. “You and your superstar sweetheart are getting all cozy and it’s distracting. Yakov lets you go because he favors you, but I’m going to bring glory back to our country.”

Yuuri looks at Victor, points to himself, and mouths “Superstar?” Victor groans, starting to get very annoyed with the blonde.

“Is that what you think it takes to win, Yura?” The silver-haired man steps into his young rink-mate’s space, grinning ill-temperedly. “Attempting to bring honor to Russia?”

“Well,” Yuri steps further into Victor’s space, refusing to budge one bit at the twenty-three-year-old’s provocation. “It’s gotta be better than looking pretty and managing to do exactly jack shit at competitions.”

Yuuri watches Victor’s thinly-veiled rage bubble to the surface before patting his and Yuri’s shoulders, nervously trying to calm them both down. Yuri snarls at the Japanese man, grabbing the arm of his sweater and almost forcing Yuuri to fall on the ice. Victor nearly snaps. “Oy! If you’re going to spend so much time on useless over here, why don’t you at least practice by yourself? All Victor’s going to do is fawn over you anyways, since he can’t figure out what he wants to do for a short program.”

Brown eyes study the hard edges of the Russian teenager’s green eyes. “Well, we are having problems finalizing a concept for the SP,” Yuuri quietly murmurs. “How about this? I could show both of you some routines I was playing with before my break, if you like.” When he says the words, Yuuri is careful to keep his expression even and keep his eyes locked with Yuri Plisetsky’s. After he watches the boy’s look soften, he turns to Victor, who reels back as if he’s been slapped. “It’ll be a good change. Who knows, Victor? If one of these programs speaks to you, you’re welcome to use it this season.”

“What about me?” Yuri snarls. “You’re just gonna make me watch you skate and hope I feel something?”

“Nope,” Yuuri softly replies, laughing slightly. “You can skate the other program. That way, you both get equal time in the rink, and nobody feels jilted. How’s that?”

Victor and Yuri share a dry look. After a moment, the silver-haired man mutters under his breath. “I’m good with that, but I think Yura here is looking for a challenge.” Victor draws himself to his full height, towering well above the blonde while his new coach stands there, scowling a bit at Victor’s theatrics. “Let’s take this one step further. I pick one of your short programs. Yura picks the other one, and then, we have a battle!” Mila, Georgi, and Yakov turn at his proclamation. Yuuri groans and rolls his eyes when Victor points at the teen. “I’ll only do it on those terms!”

“You’re on, asshole,” Yuri snarls back, putting his hands on his hips. “Oy, Yakov! The rink’s ours for the next hour, okay?”

Yakov yells profanities back in response, refusing adamantly. Yuuri is sheepish as he asks for permission more formally, and the older man grumbles and gives in.

Yuuri starts talking about the music as he skates to the center of the rink. His glasses are folded in their usual spot, and he asks Victor to press play.

The first song starts off slowly. It’s a melodic piece, an arrangement of Chopin’s Aeolian Harp, easy to imagine birds glancing over water as the piano keys are tickled. Yuuri’s body is a soft masterpiece, carved from years of effort in the sport, spine bowing gracefully as he dips low to the ice, pinkies glancing just over the surface of it. He pulls his whole body into a spin at the finale, arms crossed over his abdomen as he stops.

Victor and Yuri are both breathless as the older man gasps for air. Both of them clap absently while Yuuri gets a drink of water, and as soon as he’s ready to get back into things, he gestures for Victor to turn the music back on.

The second time, Yuuri begins by slowly lifting his face, spreading his fingers widely and dragging them away like they’re being pulled by someone unseen. This arrangement of Soleá de la Luna Coja is full of low heat; the performance is a flamenco at the core. His moves speak to the fluidity of his background in ballet, of how much subtle eroticism he can produce with all four of his limbs, his expression so far from Yuuri’s demure, homely voice and gentle liveliness that Victor can hardly focus.

“Hey,” Yuri snaps at Victor, who is flushing slightly while his young coach is knocking excess ice off of his blades. “Victor! Come back to earth.” Yuuri skates over, slicking his hair back and putting on his glasses, moving to adjust his gloves a bit while he steps off of the rink. Victor’s jaw drops a bit, realizing all over again that Yuuri is soft and real and here. In St. Petersburg. To teach him. “God, you’re hopeless. Focus! You have to pick one of those programs.”

Victor doesn’t want to. He just wants to watch Yuuri dance on the ice some more. Sighing softly, he looks at Yuuri’s expectant expression and pulls himself together, toying with the ends of his ponytail. “The first one is very me, but I admit that I was more enchanted by the second program.”

“Let’s try it out, then.” Yuuri gives the blonde a look with his arms outstretched, his smile welcoming. “Yuri, we’ll practice together as soon as Victor starts learning his motions, okay?”

“Whatever,” Yuri mutters his response, leaving the two men alone to discuss movements and Victor’s growing capability to do all the things Yuuri had just showed him, even if his ballet posture isn’t perfect.

When Yuri spends time with the Japanese man, he is daunted by Yuuri’s seemingly boundless stamina. For all that Yuuri blusters and stammers, easily embarrassed and even easier to goad into a witty argument, he’s a good coach. His pointers help Yuri visualize the program in a way that is novel to him.

He refuses to admit this, but Yuri sometimes thinks that he’d like to fully switch from Yakov coaching him to Yuuri’s leadership.

Not only would Yuuri be good for his development as a skater, it would piss Victor off to high hell, so the thought alone makes the blonde snicker.

//

The next month is torturous. Yuuri works his two pupils to the bone most nights. His level voice and lilting comments scathe Victor and Yuri more than Yakov’s yelling ever had. The rink opens for a public display the evening that both of them will unveil their SP’s.

Yuuri sits and watches patiently from the sidelines. Victor itches to be close to him, so he closes his blue eyes and tries to remember all those nights he had fantasized about doing something as outlandish as skating with Yuuri Katsuki as his coach and choreographer.

His idol looks up at him and grips Victor’s hands. “Hey,” Yuuri reminds him, looking a bit close to panic himself since Victor appears as though he’s ready to fall over. “You’re going to do great, you know? Yuri’s excellent, of course, but he’s fifteen. Go show him what you can do.”

The blonde has just stunned an audience to silence with a performance graceful enough to be put into Swan Lake, but Victor gulps and nods his head.

As soon as he takes center stage on the ice, he remembers something that his Japanese coach has told him a hundred times since he’d flown to Russia to teach him.

Remember who’s watching you, Victor, Yuuri often says, long lashes framing his dark eyes. Don’t forget why you’re out there.

Victor is here to turn his body into a work of art that’s worth writing whimsical lyrics about.

He sucks in a deep breath. Victor knows he can do this. He’ll never be as incredible as his mentor, but he doesn’t have to be. Yuuri’s been teaching him how to move, been pouring into him, been cooking his meals, been sleeping on his couch, has been real and warm and everything Victor hadn’t known that he needed.

That night is a blur, but Mila shakes Victor immediately after he skates. She talks his ears off.

“That was incredible,” the redhead yells at Victor. Victor’s blue eyes are out of focus and he keeps searching for Yuuri, sad when he sees that his coach is too far away to touch. “I didn’t know you had it in you! You could absolutely win gold for that, Victor.”

His blonde rink-mate is absent as well, probably sulking, if the performance is as great as the deafening roars of the crowd would lead him to believe. Victor swallows dryly, searching for something to say, and then Yuuri sidles next to him like he had never left.

“Give him a minute to breathe,” Yuuri murmurs kindly, brushing shoulders with Victor. “Let’s go home, yeah?”

“Mmhm,” Victor mumbles back, barely resisting his natural urge to grab his coach’s hand and leech his warmth. They walk closely on the way back to the apartment, Yuuri noting parts of his program that need improvement. Victor rolls his eyes and unlocks the door, both of them tumbling onto the couch in a mess of limbs.

Yuuri laughs breathlessly, fingers tangling in Victor’s messy bun.

The Japanese man waits a beat, then he says, “You did it.”

Yuuri’s hands are incredibly calloused, even though Victor had been dreaming of how soft they could have been, being attached to someone as lovely and sweet as Yuuri. Then again, of course they are. Yuuri is a world-class athlete.

“Apparently so,” Victor mumbles back, snuggling further into Yuuri’s warmth while the other man allows him to be so close.

“You don’t remember?” Victor shakes his head and Yuuri laughs. The sound sticks in Victor’s chest and he gulps, cheeks flushing. The younger man buries his head in Yuuri’s lap to hide the tint of his face. “Well, it was amazing. One of your best performances, hands-down.”

Yuuri’s nails dig into Victor’s scalp absently and the younger man sighs in happiness. “I’m glad, then.”

Bashfully, the older man hums and asks, “What were you thinking about out there?”

“You,” Victor answers, closing his eyes and trying not to let his heart leap out of his chest. Yuuri’s eyes; Yuuri’s words; Yuuri’s delightful addiction to royal blues - Victor’s had Yuuri on the brain since he was ten years old, and it’s a hard habit to break. “It’s always you.”

When Victor looks up, he finds that Yuuri seems surprised.

The olive-skinned man colors deeply, sputtering and tearing his hand out of Victor’s hair. “Oh!” Yuuri yelps and adjusts Victor’s head in his lap so that there’s a bit of space between them. Victor whines. “Uh. I guess. I guess I should’ve known that, huh?”

Yes, Victor thinks, deadpan, but on the surface, he’s deeply entertained by Yuuri’s embarrassment. They’ve been at press conferences for events in the past where Victor’s said more shameful things about his idol, and this is what strikes Yuuri? Unbelievable.

“Whatever you thought about,” Yuuri eventually says, clearing his throat. “You did an amazing job out there. We’re gonna polish that and work on your FS from now on, because if you keep that up, you’ll take gold at the GPF for sure.”

These are big words, certainly, but Victor’s head is filled with the heady taste of victory over the blonde teenager they share a rink with. With this elation, Victor quickly exclaims, “Let’s do it,” and Yuuri grins back at him.

It’s a promise.

//

Yuri slams his bag down on the bench where Victor is lacing up his boots. Yuuri is already at the rink side, chatting with Yakov, so there’s not a chance that anyone responsible is going to stop the little shit from mouthing off to Victor.

“This isn’t over,” Yuri mutters angrily, pointing at the silver-haired man. “You think you and your crush are going to one-up me, but the playing field is even. He choreographed a program for me too. I’m going to make my mark with my free skate, so watch out.”

When Victor reads between the lines, his blonde teammate is almost sort of cute. “I get it, Yura. I look forward to whatever you come up with, okay? Let’s both try our best.” Victor pads off to the rink with his guards on, waving to Yuuri as the teenager behind him sits down and scoffs.

“I like it better when you’re acting more like a confident asshole than a depressed one,” Yuri mutters quietly.

Victor laughs lowly, fidgeting with his bun. “Yeah. Me too, Yura.” Victor takes his blade covers off while chatting calmly with his coach, and Yuuri gives him a soft smile.

Yuri Plisetsky just watches them, wondering if they know how affectionate everything they do is, if their soft, private smiles and gently touching cheeks say more than they ever will in words.

Victor’s an idiot, but Yuuri is helping the Russian man step up his game, polishing his form with every touch.

From the sidelines, Georgi scoffs, Victor and Yuuri’s intimacy tugging at his heartstrings. “This year is going to be tough.”

“Yes, it is,” Yakov gruffly comments. “So get your head in the game, Georgi. You can’t just whine and preen - you have to compete with that, so focus.”

“Yeah, focus,” Mila says, snickering as she skates towards Yuri and sticks her tongue out at the dark-haired Russian skater. “Don’t want the lovebirds to totally ruin your heartbroken fairy tale SP.”

“It is an emotionally engaging and enrapturing piece, Mila!” Georgi cries.

Yakov groans, watching all the madness in his rink with a distraught expression.

Still.

When he lets his eyes wander, he finds Victor smiling far more openly than he’s seen the man smile in years, and privately, he’s satisfied.

Victor usually seeks validation and worth out on the ice, trying too hard and kicking himself when he doesn’t achieve the greatness he so desperately wants to display. The Katsuki boy is good for him; he shows Victor that there is no one way to make it to the podium, and if Victor must pine over the older man like a fool to realize that, then Yakov is happy.

At one point, Victor had been like a son to him, after all. Even if, as a coach, they are on opposing sides now, Yakov still hopes that Victor will stand tall and prove his worth as the phenomenal skater Yakov knows that he can be.

This season is going to be fun, Vitya, Yakov thinks to himself, hiding a smile behind his hand as Yuuri chides Victor’s step sequence for the third time that day.