#anyway it’s been a crazy party that not only has made my Thursday night incredibly fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

btsfaris · 4 years

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thick like honey

summary: you can’t get over how thick byeongkwan’s thighs are, but maybe you don’t have to? length: 6,227 pairing: byeongkwan x reader genre: smut, angst, a dash of fluff

You hated to admit it but Kim Byeongkwan was utterly, and incredibly hot.

Yes, he is a fuckboy. No doubt about that, he has slept with more than half the girls here. You've heard all the stories. The girls on campus whispering not so quietly amongst their friends about their wild nights with the one and only Byeongkwan. How he is a sex god in bed and how he made their toes curl or how many times he made them cum, even before they had sex. So there was no denying that he was a playboy, but he is by far the finest guy in your college. His clothes are always accentuating his toned physique. His shiny hair, dyed a nice platinum blonde. His eyes are big and round with a hazel tone in them. His skin is porcelain with no flaws in them whatsoever.. But what really gets you are his thighs.

Yes, his thighs.

But that's not the point here.

The point was that he was driving you absolutely crazy.

Of course you have never talked to the guy, so part of it is your fault. He never did anything to you. Never once been rude or impolite to you. Nothing. It was the plain fact that Byeongkwan made you horny, nearly all the time. But how can he not when he always looks so good? You shake your head at the thought and try to focus on getting out your materials.

Currently, you are in class. It's 9am on a Thursday morning and you can barely keep your eyes open. Students are coming in, half of them barely awake and others look like they are practically sleep-walking. You're in your English-Literature class, one of your least favorites. Not the class but that fact that it's so early and you wish you were still curled up in bed. Everyone probably thinks the same because most take the seats in the back to continue their naps, while you, take a seat near the front. You hear the door open but you keep looking down at your phone, patiently waiting for your professor to arrive. You don't notice the stranger in front of you until they speak up.

"Is this seat occupied?" A male voice asks, causing you to look up and nearly drop your phone. You look at Byeongkwan surprised and open your mouth but no words come up, "is that a no?"

"Yes- I mean no," you manage to stupidly blurt. "I mean- you can sit here."

"Thanks," he smiles, taking the seat next to you and you feel your palms get sweaty, "sorry it's just that all the other seats are taken up."

"That's okay.." you awkwardly smile back and the professor walks in. He drops his briefcase loudly on his stand, causing everyone to wake up and class begins

You have no idea how you managed to survived that class next to Byeongkwan. The second the class was over, you had barely managed to escape that class without making a fool of yourself. Not to mention that every minute you were next to him, you'd catch yourself glancing at him and at his thick thighs. He sported a black, graphic t-shirt with ripped jeans that made his legs look so good. He looked so good. Your mind would drift off to different places, bad places that made your own thighs rub together to ease your heat.

You certainly didn't pay much attention to the professor this time around. Much too distracted by the living greek-god that was sitting next to you. Which sucks because now you have to use your textbooks and write down the notes you missed. You sigh, walking back to your dorm to take a small nap before your next seminar. You needed one to calm your nerves and try to get rid of any thoughts of byeongkwan.

"Hey, wait!"

You turn to the voice and see Byeongkwan jogging up to you. You can feel your heart begin to race and you wonder how you've managed to attract him to you twice. "Uh, yes?" You ask meekly. He smiles and holds out a notebook towards you. Not any notebook, your notebook.

"You left this back in class," he hands it to you and you take it. Looking at your notebook and back at him, "you left in such a rush that you forgot it."

"Oh.." You say shyly, nodding your head, “sorry for making you come all this way."

"No need to, I'm heading up this way anyways but I saw you and thought it'd be better to give it to you now than our next class," Byeongkwan shrugs, and you can't help but mentally moan at the sound of his smooth voice.

"Thank you," you blush, holding the notebook against your chest now.

"Mind if I ask why you were in such a rush?" He questions, an eyebrow raised and you almost gulp when someone interrupts your conversation.

"Kwan-oppa!" A girl comes up to Byeongkwan and engulfs him in a hug. He stumbles back a bit but pats her back. She pulls back and gives him a peck in the cheek. He smiles awkwardly and you look away, contemplating whether to leave or not.

"Hi, Minhee," he says and she smiles.

"How are you oppa?" She asks cutely, grabbing onto his arm and you want to throw up at the use of her aegyo, "are you going to Junhee-oppa's party on Saturday?"

"Of course, how can I not? He's my best friend." He jokes and she giggles at his reaction. You slowly start to back away when Byeongkwan notices you again.

"Are you going Y/N?"

"Y/N?" Minhee asks confused before she sees you and raises an eyebrow, “who is she?"

"Ah Minhee, meet Y/N," Byeongkwan introduces you two. You're completely surprised that he knows your name, "she's in my E-LIT class."

"Nice to meet you," you say, but she eyes you before glancing at Byeongkwan. She returns her gaze to you and a fake smile plasters on her face. "Nice to meet you too. Wow, you are so pretty!"

"Thanks?" You say, unsure. He smiles before asking you again, "you're going to Junhee's party right?"

"Ah, no.. I don't really know him."

"Aw well that's too bad, isn't it oppa?" She fakes a pout and you mentally glare at her.

"Yeah," he actually frowns but then a smile plasters on his face, “you should come, I'll personally invite you."

"O-Oh, you don't have to-"

"Please, be my guest," Byeongkwan insists nicely and you can't help but melt inside. "Okay.."

"Great!" He grins, turning to Minhee, "right? Everything works out!"

"Yep," She smiles painfully but then she wraps her arm around his causing you to clench the notebook in your hands.

"So I'll see you Saturday?" He asks and you can't help but nod, "good! Bye Y/N!"

"Bye-" Before you can finish, Minhee drags your crush out of there and you're left speechless.

What did you just get yourself into?

"He really invited you?" Your best friend Seulgi, exclaimed. You nodded sheepishly and she squealed in delight, “and you're going, right?"

"Ah, I don't know Seulgi.."

"What?" She frowns, confused now, “your living wet dream just invited you to a party where you just might get some action and you're going to turn it down?" You quickly cover her mouth and hush her, embarrassed at the dirty but truthful words.

"I just don't think I should go," you simply shrug, "I won't know anyone there or have anyone to talk to."

"Hey, I'll be there." She protests and you roll your eyes at her, “you'll also be making out with Donghun by the end of the night." She blushes at your retaliation. Donghun and her are currently a thing. Not sure what kind, whether they're talking, friends with benefits or anything.. But you don't question her because it's really none of your business.

"Please Y/N," Seulgi whines and tugs at your arm. You shrug her off but she wraps her arms around you and attempts to use her aegyo on you.

"Okay! Okay!" You scrunch up your nose, pulling her off of you, “anything to stop that wretched noise."

She laughs, smacking you on the shoulder slightly. "Besides," she smirks, "if byeongkwan is there, I'm sure you won't be doing any talking." She wiggles her eyebrows which makes you gasp in embarrassment and throw a pillow at her.

"Seulgi!"

It's friday afternoon now, you're in the campus library trying to write down the notes you missed in class. You're trying your best to make sense of the notes but your mind keeps drifting off to byeongkwan. His delicious body, his sweet lips, his strong arms and legs-

You groan a bit too loudly and a bunch of students shush you. You shrink in your chair and mumble an apology. You shake your head and try avoid those thoughts. Maybe you needed a break. You'd been here for almost an hour and you hadn't even had dinner yet. Getting up quietly, you saunter outside the library to find a vending machine to ease your growling stomach. You see one at the end of the hall and immediately jog to it.

Pressing the button for an energy bar, it comes as a total of one dollar. In hopes of having money, you try to fish out a dollar from your bag. You bite your lip and mentally groan when you realize you left your wallet at your dorm. A hand places a bill inside the vending machine, making you look up at the person.

"Byeongkwan," your eyes widen, "h-hi."

"Hi Y/N," he sweetly smiles, leaning down and picking up the energy bar before handing it to you, “in need of a snack?"

"Oh yeah.. Thank you, you didn't have to do that though," you blush.

"Don't mention it," he chuckles, shaking his hair lightly into place and you wish you could run your hands through it, “what are you up to?"

"Studying," you say and glance at his attire quickly. He looks good, per usual. This time sporting a long sleeve and a pair of basketball shorts that give you a look of his muscular legs, "for E-LIT.. Missed some notes."

Okay good, you're finally acting normal.

"Oh really?" He asks. “Well, if you want you can borrow my notes."

"Really?" You raise your eyebrows. "I mean.. I wouldn't want to be a bother." He chuckles at your reaction before shaking his head. "Nonsense, you can ask for them whenever. I'll bring them to you the next time I see you, okay?"

"Okay.." You smile.

"Do you think I could get your number?" He asks, scratching the back of his neck and a tint of pink scattered across his cheeks, “so I can find you and lend you my notebook of course."

"O-Oh sure,” you stutter, pulling out your phone and handing it to him. He puts his number in and calls his phone. His phone starts to ring and he hangs up, handing back your phone.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow,” Byeongkwan grins but his statement throws you off.

"Tomorrow?"

"The party,” he suddenly winks, walking backwards. Finally remembering, you nod. He waves goodbye and you shyly do the same. When he finally is out of your sight, a sigh escapes you. Why, oh why is he so hot?

"I am so not wearing this," you screech, walking out of the bathroom, “not in a million years."

"Oh come Y/N! You look hot!" Seulgi whines. She thought it would be a good idea to pick your outfits. She chose to wear a grey, short and tight fitting dress that made her body look even better than it is. Meanwhile she chose to make you wear a white cropped v-neck shirt and a leather mini skirt that made you feel like a hooker.

"Yeah and I also look like I work at hooters," you cringe as you look at your outfit, "maybe this means I shouldn't go."

"L/N Y/N, you are going to that party even if I have to drag you there myself!” She threatens, slipping on her leather jacket over her dress.

"It's not like Byeongkwan will notice me anyways," you quietly mumble, playing with the end of your skirt, "he has so many girls pining after him, why would he want me?"

It was true. Every girl wanted to be with him, whether it meant a one night stand, a relationship or even a casual fuck. Why would he choose you when he could have someone as gorgeous and sexy as Minhee?

"You're beautiful Y/N, you are the most amazing and hottest girl on campus," Seulgi frowns at your words, "anyone would be lucky to be with you.. even byeongkwan."

Her words cause you to smile and you shove her away playfully. "Fine, you cheesy person.” She cheers but you cut her off, "only if I choose what to wear." Seulgi pouts but nods her head and you head back into your closet to pick your outfit.

Settling for a graphic tee and high waisted jean shorts with some high heeled boots, you apply a bit more make-up than usual and Seulgi curls your hair the way you liked. You smile at the results and you feel a bit more relaxed.

You both decide to leave an hour later. The house the party is at is huge, possibly hundreds of people scattered all across the house and more entering the front door. The place is booming with loud music inside and hollering from the already drunk people. Your mind starts to drift to him and you begin to really think about running away now. Far, far away from here when suddenly, you feel a buzz in your pocket.

Pulling out your phone, your eyes widen at the text.

unknown: hey it's byeongkwan.. here yet?

You bite your lip, quickly typing up a response.

you: just got here.

"Let's go have some fun!" Seulgi exclaims and drags you inside the party. The scent of booze, humidity and peer-pressure hits you all at once when you enter the place. You look around, noticing everyone's attire and instantly regret changing into other clothes. Every girl here is dressed to impress in their sexiest clothes while you're rather casual. Most of them look at you strangely but you focus your attention back at Seulgi and how she immediately heads to the refreshments table in the kitchen.

"Want a shot? Tequila or vodka?" She asks, serving herself a drink.

"I think I'll just start off with a beer," you shake your head and she boos at your choice but hands you a cup anyways. You take a sip of your cup, pulling out your phone to see if you have any more messages.

bk: where are you right now?

You hold back a smile and respond back.

you: kitchen.

"God Y/N, leave your phone alone for one second and enjoy the party!" She groans, pulling your attention away from your device and pulls you into the living room. You're greeted by none other than Donghun and another tall guy with white, shaggy hair. Seulgi immediately blushes and smiles at them, but more towards her lover.

"Hi guys," Donghun grins, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, "when you'd get here?"

"About 5 minutes ago,” she smiles flirtatiously.

"Only five minutes in and already drinking? Wow, you sure haven't changed Seulgi,” the stranger jokes, causing Seulgi to gasp and push his shoulder lightly.

"Oh shut up Junhee!” So this was the Junhee.

"Anyways this is Y/N, my friend,” Seulgi introduces you to him and he smiles, waving a hand at you.

"Nice to meet you," Junhee grins, "BK invited you right?"

"Uh, yeah.." you say shyly.

"He made it pretty clear he did," he chuckles, "you guys close?"

"No, not really.. Why?"

"No reason, he just kept talking about you these past few days,” he smirks. Seulgi gives you a knowing look and you lightly elbow her.

"Must be because we have class together.."

"We have class together too.." Donghun grins, pulling Seulgi closer, “don’t we Seulgi?"

"I bet she still doesn't pay attention though," Junhee mocks, causing her to curse at him, “she used to make me help her in math, like all the time."

The conversation keeps going but rather than listening, you quietly check your phone.

bk: where are you now? seems like i'm on a scavenger hunt.

You giggle at his remark and type away.

you: living room.

You look up again and continue to listen to their conversation but get bored quickly. You simply look around and watch as different people dance, drink, make-out with others and just conversate. You take a sip of your drink and notice that you ran out.

"I'm going to get another drink,” you say to Seulgi and she nods, averting her gaze back to Donghun. You roll your eyes and head back to kitchen. After serving yourself another cup of the booze, you check your phone but you're disappointed to see that Byeongkwan hadn't replied. Frowning, you take a another sip and shrug, making your way back to Seulgi. You look around for her but she isn't anywhere in sight.

"Great," you mumble, all alone now, "why am I not surprised."

You wonder if maybe you should leave. Seulgi is off with her boy toy while Byeongkwan seems to be busy. Plus you knew nobody here. So what was the point? You sigh, deciding that if you're going to be here, might as well explore the place. You walk past the crowd of teens on the dance floor and into a semi-empty hallway. This place was most definitely huge. Is this a fraternity house? You notice a plaque on the wall that say Kappa Phi Stigma.

You continue to walk until you reach a staircase and decide to climb it. Looking at all the different medals and certificates on the walls distracts you that you nearly bump into a couple making out. You spurt out an apology and quickly run up the stairs in embarrassment when you feel to need to pee.

"Oh great,” you say, looking at all the different doors and trying to open a few but sadly, they're all locked. You go for the door at the end of the hall and mentally cheer as the knob turns all the way. You practically burst in but stop in place when you see Byeongkwan sitting on the toilet seat and Minhee on his lap. They both stare at you, a look of annoyance on Minhee's face while Byeongkwan looks surprised with a hint of guilt. You stand there for a few seconds, shocked before you snap out of it.

"S-Sorry,” you apologize quickly, trying to get away as fast as possible.

"Wait Y/N!" Byeongkwan calls but you slam the door shut.

You run to the first door you can and luckily it's unlocked. Closing the door behind you, you lock it and lean against the door quietly. You hear the bathroom door open and Minhee calls out Byeongkwan’s name before the door slams shut once again. You hear loud footsteps pass your door and you hold your breath. When the footsteps fade away and you assume that he's gone, you slide down the door and let a few angry tears fall.

You were right. Of course he wouldn't want to be with someone like you. Someone as boring looking as you were no match to the extravagant Minhee, or any other girl here. You were simply Y/N to him, the boring girl from his English class and that's all you'd ever be. You sniff and wipe away your tears but more fall down.

You don't know how long you sit in the room. Possibly an hour has passed and you still sit in the same spot. You can hear the music booming from downstairs but your head feels numb and all you want to do is leave. You get up from your spot on the floor, taking a big gulp from your neglected cup and wipe under your eyes. You check yourself in the nearby mirror of the college boy who sleeps here and make sure you look decent enough.

Opening the door quietly, you look out to make sure no one is there and walk out the room. You head downstairs, in hopes of finding Seulgi and getting the hell out of there. You sneak past a bunch of people, avoiding all the couples and try to find Seulgi. You look around, seeing unfamiliar faces when you catch Byeongkwan’s gaze across the living room and your eyes widen. "Y/N!" You turn around and try to make a run for it. But suddenly, you're blocked by all the dancing lunatics and curse yourself for coming here in the first place.

You see an opening in between a group and you try to make your way through when a hand grabs your arm. Spinning you around, you make eye-contact with Byeongkwan. Your eyes are wide while his are frantic. Despite the situation, he still look so dämn attractive. He has on a graphic tshirt, with a backwards dad-hat and a pair of black jeans.

"Can I talk to you?" Byeongkwan pleads, “privately?"

You're not sure why but you feel yourself nodding and he visibly sighs in relief. Rather than letting you go, he holds on your hand instead, pulls you out of the living room and back upstairs. You're climbing up the stairs and it's like you're living a dream, despite the circumstances. He heads into a room, not the one you were pathetically crying in earlier luckily, and closes the door behind him.

You stand there awkwardly, looking around and notice that this is his room. His room is rather nice for a college boy. A clean, well made bed with a few pieces of furniture and posters around. A picture frame on his nightstand of himself and his fraternity brothers. You divert you gaze back at him and notice his distressed state.

"Look, I know what you saw out there but it wasn't what it looked like. I wasn't hooking up with Minhee. We were just talking but she suddenly came onto me and I had no idea what to do," he explains, and you're surprised as to why he's doing this, “then you came in and ran away before I could explain myself."

"Oh," you utter quietly, biting your lip, "why are you telling me this though?"

"Because you didn't let me tell you before-"

"I know that," you interrupt, “but you don't need to explain yourself.. We're not dating or anything."

"Well yeah," he frowns at the floor and you don't know if you should have said that, “but I-I just.."

He looks hurt at your words and suddenly, it seems to all click. All the helping, the talking, the texts, it all pops up into your head.

"Do you like me Byeongkwan?" His head looks up and he seems shocked.

"How'd you know?"

"Do you?" You ask again, walking towards him. He nods shyly, his cheeks starting to blush and you smile.

"I like you too." You confess, and his eyes widen. "You do..?" You nod and now you're in front of him.

"I actually like you a lot,” you whisper, looking up at him. He looks down at your lips and back at your eyes. He seems to be battling with himself internally so you decide to take initiative and press your lips against his. His lips are smooth and plush against your own. Your mouth moves slowly against his and you wrap your arms around his neck. You feel his hands snake around your waist and he pulls you into him. Licking his bottom lip, you are granted with access as he tries to dominate your mouth with his tongue causing you to moan.

He kisses you skillfully and you feel like you're flying. He slips his hands under you shirt and grips your bare waist before moving them behind your thighs, picking you up with ease. You wrap your legs around his waist and he leans you both against a wall. You continue to kiss each other for a few more moments when he pulls away and begins to kiss down your neck.

He nips at the flesh and it makes you moan softly. "Kwannie," you sigh and he hums against your neck, adding a few lovebites on it. He continues to kiss down your neck to your collarbones and back up before meeting your lips again. You kiss back with passion and bite his lower lip which makes the most delicious sound come from him.

He finally moves back and takes you to his bed, dropping you carefully on it. You kiss without stopping as he leans over you. You pull him as close as possible, accidentally tip the hat off his head and run your fingers through his soft locks. You feel his fingers dance up your thighs and instinctively, you grind against the now forming bulge in his pants. He moans in your mouth and you love the sound so much that you do it again. You move your hips upwards and he groans some more. He begins to grind his bulge against your clothed heat and it flicks against your clit deliciously.

"Fuck Y/N," byeongkwan pulls away and you take the moment to push him onto the bed and straddle him. You start to grind against him again, loving every single noise that slips from him and how it stimulates your heat. His head tips back and he grabs your hips, guiding you back and forth. You moan as the zipper of his jeans rubs against your heat and bite your lip.

He tugs at the hem of your shirt and you pull it over your head, your lace bra in display. You lean back down and go back to kissing his sweet lips. His mouth moves against yours perfectly and he suddenly sits up. He pulls away briefly, pulling on the collar of his shirt before tugging up and removing it in one go. His pale, hard abs come into view and you practically drool. "God, you're so hot,” you mumble out and he grabs your chin before attacking your mouth. You tangle your hands in his hair once again and he unbuttons your jean shorts. Before he can unzip, you pull away and take his hands off of you.

"Something wrong?" He asks, worried. His lips are red and plump, hair all messed up and there's a hint of sheen on his body. He looks absolutely ravishing and you can't help but lick your lips.

"No," you shake your head, "I just want to suck your dick first."

"Fuck," he mutters and quickly unbuckles his belt. You help him out by unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. He pulls down his pants, kicking them off and you see the bulge in his boxers. You lean down, mouthing at his clothed manhood and Byeongkwan moans out. You continue to lick and suck at it before looking up at him, who looks already out of breath. You pull away and finally stick your fingers underneath the band. Pulling down all the way, his dick smacks against his stomach and you can't wait to have it in your mouth.

He's long and hard, with a nice red tip. His girth is so thick that you wonder what isn't thick about this man. You move down his thighs before wrapping your fingers around the base of his cock. You lick at the tip, making sure to keep eye-contact with him. He softly moans out as you lick up a long stripe from his balls to his tip. You carefully suck at the tip, running your tongue around it. His thighs clench at the stimulation and you feel yourself get wetter and wetter. Slowly, you move down and take him in bit by bit. You bob your head up and down, making sure to see his reactions. You suck harder which makes him moan.

"Jesus you suck my cock so good,” he moans out, his eyes squeezed shut and you hum a thank you. His fingers tangle in your hair, “taking my dick so well baby."

His words go straight to your heat, dampening your already wet panties some more. You continue to suck him, running your tongue all around him and deep-throating him whenever you could. You bring one hand down to his balls and massage them which makes him grip your hair.

"Yes baby, fuck,” Byeongkwan groans, his other hand clutching the sheets, “you’re going to make me cum if you keep doing that."

You pull away at that and Byeongkwan tries to catch his breath. You wipe at your mouth and he instantly kisses you. His hands go behind your back to your bra and he skillfully unclips it. You pull the material off your chest and his lips latch on one of your perky nipples.

"Byeongkwan,” you moan out, tugging at his blonde strands. He licks and nibbles on one before moving to the other. He uses a hand to massage your other brëast so it doesn't feel neglected and you let out breathy moans. He smiles at your reaction and pulls away. He pecks your lips softly before turning you over and laying you down.

Pulling down your shorts, he drags your ruined panties with them and licks at two of his fingers. He instantly rubs your clit softly with them, causing you to moan loudly. You whimper at his touch and try to close your legs from the stimulation but he pries your legs apart. He dips a finger inside and you moan out as he pumps it in and out of you.

"Oh god,” you moan out, clutching the sheets underneath you. He slips another finger in and picks up speed. Your curls start to curl at the pleasure and he smirks. He pulls out suddenly which you're about to protest at but then he puts his fingers in his mouth. He closes his eyes and moans at the taste. It is the hottest thing you have ever seen and it makes you heat ache even more.

"You taste absolutely delicious,” he winks at you. You would ask to have more foreplay with any other partner but you can't help but want him already. You dreamt of this for the longest that if you don't have him now, you just might die.

"Fuck me,” you whisper and his eyes darken.

"That's what my baby wants?" He questions, his voice dropping down an octave or two. You nod and he tsks, "I need to hear you beg."

"Please fuck me kwan,” you whimper, “I need you so bad. I need your dick inside of me."

He growls at your words and leans over to kiss you. You moan against his mouth and run your hand down to massage his length. He tugs down his boxers all the way and leans over to find a condom inside his drawer. You grab his hand and shake your head.

"I'm on the pill.." he nods and pecks your lips before getting into position.

He sits on the back of his thick thighs and grabs himself from the base leading his length to your entrance. He teases you slightly by rubbing his tip against your clit and you whine. He bites his lip as he begins to push in and you whimper at the fullness you begin to feel. Byeongkwan moans out as you wrap around him tightly and you've never felt so full in your life.

When he's finally all the way in, he leans back over you and slowly begins to move his hips. You look into each other's eyes and he looks absolutely breathtaking.

"You're so fucking tight," he groans, slowly but surely picking up speed. You clutch at his back, whimpers escaping your lips, “so fucking good."

"Byeongkwan," you gasp out, wrapping your legs around his waist, "faster, please."

He kisses your lips, pumping into you much faster now. The bed begins to creak and you can feel the way his thick cock moves inside of you. You're moaning loudly now but you could care less about anyone hearing you. All you care about is how good he is fucking you.

"Oh god Y/N," he groans out, thrusting hard. "your pussy was made for me, goddamn."

You moan out as he pounds into you, his balls smacking against your ass with each thrust. He slows down his pace all of a sudden and grinds into you in slow circles that have you seeing stars. Now you know why all these girls talk about him so much, because he really was a sex god in bed. He pumps back hard into before returning to the grinding and you feel overwhelming pleasure. He is doing you so good that you don't know if you've ever felt this good.

"Yes kwannie, oh fuck,” you manage to gasp out. "ngh-"

He continues to fuck into you, grabbing your breasts and kneading them. He places kisses all over your neck and it all feels so good that you could cry. The pleasure builds up and you can feel yourself climbing up the ladder to your climax. As if sensing this, he licks his thumb and begins to rub your clit. You hiss at the contact as he nearly brings you there.

"You wanna cum babe?" Byeongkwan asks, thrusting into you with every word, "cum for me Y/N, cum all over my cock."

You're so close that you can taste it and as he starts to apply more pressure onto your heat, you're put over the edge. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, fuck-" you whimper, your eyes squeezing shut and your back arches from the bed as your orgasm hits you. Your legs shake from how hard you come and you feel it in waves. Byeongkwan moves slowly to help out your high before he stops and lets you catch your breath.

He pulls out suddenly, and quickly turns you over, on your hands and knees. He gets into position behind you before pushing back into you. He moves slowly, then returns to his usual pounding that makes you whine from the oversensitivity but there is a tinge of pleasure in it. You can no longer feel your arms or legs, your body way too overwhelmed from all the pleasure. His thrusts become erratic and you know he's close by how loudly he's moaning.

You take all the energy you have left to prop yourself up until your back meets his chest and you wrap your left arm around his neck. He kisses your lips passionately before moving down your neck. He fumbles with your breast, trying to chase after his high. You moan out to him and nibbles on your shoulder.

"Cum for me ‘kwan,” you purr in his ear, "cum inside of me baby."

"F-Fuck, I'm so close," Byeongkwan stammers, his thick thighs smacking against your ass.

"Come on baby," you coo. "fill me up."

He pounds into you faster than ever before he reaches his end and he comes in a long, loud moan. He holds onto you strongly, his hips pushed against your ass hard. His eyes are squeezed shut and you have never seen someone so beautiful. He pumps into you slowly, riding out his high and comes to a halt. He slumps against your shoulder and you both try to catch your breath.

Sweat covers the both of you and you feel exhausted. He kisses your shoulder after a few moments and you take that as a cue to lay down in the bed. He stands up, grabbing a small towel from his closet and wipes his release away that now runs down your thighs. After disposing of it, he crashes next to you and for some reason, you feel at peace. Byeongkwan pulls you towards him and you rest your head on his chest, looking up at him.

"You were amazing,” he tiredly smiles, petting your tangled hair.

"You weren't so bad yourself,” you joke, looking down and running your finger in circles on his chest. He watches your movements before he grabs onto your hand and intertwines your fingers together. You look as he raises them and kisses the back of your hand.

"I hope you know this means you're my girl," byeongkwan grins, and you blush, "that is, if you want to be?"

"I'd love to,” you smile back and he pecks your lips softly. He suddenly smacks your butt playfully and wraps his arms around you.

"Rest up champ,“ he smirks, "we're going to need all the energy we can for round two tomorrow."

a/n: I made this on wattpad like 3 years ago and ive clearly updated it to his current name but if you see jason lol sorry im fucking blind

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ladyshandioftheendless · 5 years

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~KISS AU writings 12~

Heading straight on into the next part of this fiasco! I’m really eager to move this story along cause a looooot of shit is about to go down~ Enjooooy~

~Shandi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~MODEL AU Part 3~

Featured Pairing: Bruce Kulick/Paul Stanley

Special Guests: Peter Criss, Vinnie Vincent, Dana Strum, Mark Slaughter, Bobby Rock, Mick Mars, Vince Neil

Summary: Paul invites Bruce to to a party for the magazine he modeled for..where things escalate even further~ (told from Bruce’s POV)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later I return to the studio with the photos. As soon as I’m through the door I see Mr. Criss and Paul standing there waiting for me. Oh boy.

“Let’s see ‘em.”

Mr. Criss holds out his hand and I give him the folder. Please like them. As soon as he opens the folder he rolls his eyes, which doesn’t exactly fill me with a lot of confidence. Then he looks over at Paul who just smiles at him sweetly. “It figures that the first photo I see is of your naked ass. You really think the magazine is gonna print these?” Paul just tosses his hair. “Of course they will~ You know why? It’s me~” He’s got him there. I mean..they’ll definitely edit them heavily but they’ll eat those up just because it’s Paul. Mr. Criss sighed but he conceded. “Alright alright. I’ll submit ‘em but I don’t wanna hear any whining about how they’re edited when they’re published. Got me?”

“I’m not worried, Petey. They’ll show as much as they’re allowed to get away with~” That’s for sure. Someone would have to be crazy to not want to show off his..’assets.’ After looking through all of the other photos, Mr. Criss closes the folder. “It’s real good work, Kulick. Fantastic even.” He hands me an envelope. “I’m gonna submit these this afternoon. As soon as we have access to the first copies you can have one if you want.” It would be nice to see my work in the pages of a magazine. My heart is beating a mile a minute just thinking about it! “Thank you, Mr. Criss, I’d like that very much~” Paul of course is incredibly amused. “I am a work of art, aren’t I, Photopup? I’d be proud too~” You mean you aren’t already? I find that hard to believe. “Anyway..” Mr. Criss interrupts rather firmly. “..make sure your schedule’s open cause I’ll be keepin’ your number handy. You up for more work like this?”

“Absolutely!”

“Then we’ll be seein’ you again soon.” Paul blows me a kiss before turning to follow Mr. Criss back to his office. “Until next time, Photopup~” While I’m in my car I open the envelope. A check for $2,500! I think I’m gonna celebrate with a nice big pizza when I get home~

The next week passed by like normal. Normal and boring. As much as I hoped for a call one never came. Still, I kept my camera clean and ready for its next job. The following week however started off with a bang. Monday afternoon when I check my mailbox I find a brown package folded up inside. When I open it I see one of my photos of Paul on the front cover of Runway. “Finally!” I sit down on the couch and flip through the pages with a big smile on my face. These were my photos. My photos printed in a magazine for the world to see. They weren’t even edited as much as I thought they would be. Paul was perfect. I can kinda see why he wanted to do it this way now. If I had a body like his I’d want to show it off too~ The lighting was the best decision I ever made. No fluorescents would have been able to bring out the golden undertones of his skin or the highlights in his hair. I turn to the next page and WOW. There’s his ass in full view. How were they able to get away with this? Are models exempt from censorship? Either that or someone pulled a lot of strings. Or more likely an extremely smart executive decision. A spread as hot as this will make magazines fly off the shelves. Quite a business~

Late Thursday night I get a phone call..but not from the person I was expecting.

“Hello?”

“Well hello there, Photopup~”

“Paul..?”

He giggles. “Surprised~?”

“Yeah, a little. How did you get my number?”

“From Petey’s rolodex of course~ You busy Saturday night~?”

“Um..” Is he..asking me out..? No, that’s crazy. “I don’t..think so..?”

“You sound unsure. Are you or aren’t you?”

I usually play guitar on Saturday nights but..this could be important. I can always play some other night. “No. No I’m not busy.”

“Good! Come to a party with me~”

What? Is he serious? “A..party..?”

“Come ooooon~ The Executive of Runway magazine is throwing a little get-together and he invited me.”

“Why don’t you go with Mr. Criss? Isn’t he more suited for these types of things?” I hear a loud sigh.

“Petey’s gonna be in New York that weekend. Pleeeeeease? I don’t wanna go alone..”

Ugh he’s using that cute voice. I can hear him pouting over the phone. “Oh..alright..I’ll go.” Damn him.

“Wonderful~! I’ll pick you up at 6:00..and dress fancy~ Ciao, baby~!”

I hang up the phone and run a hand through my hair. What the hell have I gotten myself into?

Saturday came much too quickly for my liking. It also didn’t help that I had nothing to wear that would classify as ‘fancy.’ I went for the next best thing. I dressed like I was just going to the club to play: a plain black tank top, black jeans and my favorite leather jacket. I’m not a fancy guy. I like things simple. I don’t see why I need to compromise myself for a bunch of people I’ll probably never see again. At 6:00 precisely I hear a car horn. “Well..here goes nothing..” I put on my jacket, grab my keys and head out.

Paul Stanley didn’t strike me as a guy who did much for himself besides his own hair and clothes..possibly not even that. I liked him, but he was a total prima donna. So it took me by surprise when I didn’t see a limo waiting out front for me. Instead there he was, sitting in a beautiful black convertible Corvette, with purple stars scattered across the rear of course~ It was immaculate, like it had just been driven off the lot. Paul smiles at me and waves. “Hey there, handsome~ Going my way~?” Hell, I’d go anywhere with him in a car like this~ “As a matter of fact I am~” When I get in and buckle up he starts the engine up again and revs it. “Mm..that sounds so good~”

“Like fast cars, do you~?”

“Ever since I was a kid~”

“Then hold on tight, baby cause we’re about to go for a ride~”

Boy was he not kidding. I actually hear the tires squeal as we take off down the road. It was fantastic~ “So..where is this party we’re going to?”

“In Malibu~”

“Oh great. I’ll fit right in with all the rich, pretentious assholes..”

Paul laughs out loud and pats my thigh. “I refuse to believe you’d give any kind of a shit about what they’d think of you. Besides you’ll be there with me so they won’t have anything to say..except compliments on your terrific taste~” I scoff but there’s no doubt a lot of truth to that statement, especially with the way he looks right now. I don’t think I’ve ever seen purple leather look so good on anyone in my life.

“You’re staring~”

I am staring. I don’t try to hide it. He’s made a career out of people staring at him. What’s one more? “What are you thinking about, Photopup~? Do you wanna fuck me~?” Okay..caught me straight off guard with that one. He just laughs at my reaction. “It’s alright if you do..a lot of people do~” There’s the shallowness I’d come to expect from his type. I cross my arms. “I’m not like that. Yes, you’re attractive but that’s not all I want in someone.”

“What do you want~?”

I sigh. What I want is to not have this conversation. But I don’t say that out loud. At least not with those exact words. “I have more important things to worry about than my love life. Like keeping a place to live for example.” After that he takes the hint, and the rest of the trip is uncomfortably quiet.

I don’t have the words to describe the place we pull up to. It’s like..if someone built a beach house and expanded it into a gigantic mansion. It’s just..absolutely breath taking. I could only wish to afford to leave near the beach like this. While I’m staring Paul silently gets out of the car and leaves me behind. Yep. He’s definitely still sore about the conversation we had earlier. I guess I’ll have to find a way to make it up to him later. I get out, lock to doors and run after him. “Paul please. I’m sorry. If..you wanna talk more later we can. It’s just..not an important subject for me..” He fluffs his hair a few times before looking at me. “I dunno..I think your annoyance was kinda justified. I tend to be too nosy for my own good sometimes~ Hm. Actually all the time~ Apologies all around, then..now let’s go party~” I let him take my arm and lead me to the door.

Everyone inside is ridiculously beautiful..and now I feel ridiculously outclassed. People shoot me disdainful looks as we walk past, clearly making it known that I don’t belong in their exclusive little fanclub. I have an overwhelming urge to beg Paul for his keys so I can drive back home. We approach a man dressed in gold from head to toe and holding a glass of wine. When he sees us Paul waves to him. “Vinnie~!!” Someone dressed that extravagantly just has to be the host. He waves back with a big smile. “Paul, you made it! How wonderful to see you!” He comes over to give Paul a tight hug with his free arm. “Have I got a lot to thank you for, darling~ Thanks to those delicious photos we’ve had the highest sales we’ve ever had in months!” Paul holds onto my arm tighter. “Glad to hear it! The photos were all thanks to this one right here~ This is Bruce Kulick, our new photographer~ Brucie, this is Vinnie Vincent, head of Runway magazine~” I take his offered hand and shake it. “Were you a model yourself, Mr. Vincent? You certainly have the look.” He laughs. “My, what a charmer you are~ As a matter of fact I was a few years back. I got my start at Catwalk just like Paul here~ Then personal life intervened and I lost my love for the stage. So I channeled what was left into this instead~ And please call me Vinnie. Everyone does~” It feels so strange calling someone I barely know but their first name..but if he insists.. “A-alright..Vinnie. I’m..very happy that you liked my photos~ That was actually my first time shooting with Paul.”

“Oh darling they’re masterpieces! I fully insisted that nothing be done to them by way of editing~” Just as I thought~ He reaches into his suit jacket pocket and hands me a business card. “If you’d ever like to do some editorial photos for me just give me a call, hm? I could use a photographer with your skill~” I look at the card in shock. “Would you look at that~” I hear Paul say, laying his chin on my shoulder. “Somebody might be moving up in the world~ Happy you came now~?” Vinnie smiles and takes my other arm. “Of course he is~ Come and let me introduce you to some of my friends~” He was absolutely right. I am happy I came~ It was more fun than I ever expected meeting Vinnie’s coworkers. Bobby was intelligent. Mark was friendly. Dana was funny. They admired my work and gave me advice on how I can improve. I could definitely see myself working with them if I decided to take Vinnie up on his offer, which I was seriously considering. I’d have to talk to Mr. Criss about it when he comes back. Paul makes a disgusted noise that snaps me out of my thoughts.

“Oh fuck. Why did he have to come here?”

I look down at him and he’s cringing, his expression twisted in annoyance and anger. “Paul? What’s wrong?” Paul pointed towards the door. Following the direction of his finger I’m pretty sure I see the culprit. How could anyone not see him? His hair was a bright blond. Definitely bleached. He made sure he stood out wearing a shredded pink tank top over a white mesh shirt, white patent leather pants and pink platform heels. He was hanging on the arm of a slightly shorter man dressed all in black leather with long black hair and red tinted glasses. His pants had MARS written down the left thigh in large white letters. An interesting..and loud way to make his name known to strangers. “Hey there, pretty people!” the blond yelled, catching everyone’s attention. “Can one of you be an absolute doll and get a drink for me~?” I don’t think I’d ever seen so many people move so quickly towards the bar. They crowded it, fighting each other to be the first to get a glass filled. I watch the spectacle amused, but Paul just rolls his eyes. “Selfish asshole..” My curiosity is piqued. “It’s obvious you don’t like him. Who is he?”

“Vince Neil. The self-proclaimed ‘hottest model in Malibu’.”

“He’s not?”

“Of course he is. He just has to make sure everybody knows it.”

“Who’s with him?”

“Mick Mars. His agent.”

“Creepy guy.”

“Mick is a sweetheart. I actually like him. Vince is an arrogant prick who thinks he’s the hottest shit in California. He’s trying to force some kind of rivalry with me..says he thinks it’ll boost our popularity. I can get to the top on my own, thank you very much.”

Looking back at the mob, it looks like a good looking red head got lucky. She pushes her way through the crowd with a glass of wine and hands it to Vince. He takes it from her with a grin. “Congratulations, baby..you win first prize~” The rest of the crowd just mind their own business and go back to partying while Vince practically makes out with the woman in the middle of the room. Quite a guy. Paul however is clearly fed up. “I don’t know about you but I’m ready to leave.” It’s not like I can say no. He’s the one who drove us here. “If that’s what you wanna do.” He nods. We say goodbye to Vinnie, Dana, Bobby and Mark and head for the door.

“Heeeeeeey leaving without sayin’ goodbye, Paulie~?”

Paul winces. Guess we weren’t getting out of here without Vince noticing after all..much to his dismay. “Don’t call me that.” he hisses, glaring daggers. Vince just gives him a cocky smirk. “Shoulda figured you’d be here somewhere. Were you hidin’ from me? “Ain’t like you to not make yourself the center of attention~” I can see Paul’s eye twitch. “Unlike you I don’t need to do such things.”

“That’s because everybody forgets about you when I’m around~ Who would notice you~?”

“How could I possibly compete with that tacky bleach job?”

“Like you haven’t had any work done on your face!”

“Maybe more people would take you seriously if you didn’t dress like a prostitute!!”

I have to grab Paul’s shoulders and pull him back. “Come on. I thought we were leaving.” Vince turns his gaze to me. “You his boyfriend? If you ever get tired of him being such a bitch I’ll be your Barbie doll~”

“YOU FUCKING SKEEZY TRAMP!!”

Paul pulls away from me but he’s stopped again by Mr. Mars. “That’s enough.” he says in a calm voice. “Vince, shut up and go mingle. You..” He hands Paul back to me. “..take him home. If those two get into a fight nobody’s gonna win.” I can’t argue with that. I take Paul’s keys from his jacket pocket and take him out to his car. “If you don’t mind I think I should drive us back.”

He doesn’t argue.

To be Continued!!

#Shandi's drabbles #KISS AU writings #Supermodel StarChild~#a rival appears!#poor Brucie pretty much gets caught in the middle #petty insult party LAWL #StarChild vs Malibu Barbie #this is a long one!

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forzalando · 6 years

Text

Dear Sirius ~ Sirius Black

hi guys ok so this was a request, sent in literally FOREVER ago, by @l-am-tired and I just got around to writing it and i am SO sorry it took so long. I sincerely hope you like it :)

special thanks to @hermione-who and @thoseofgreatambition for reading beforehand and giving me feedback :) love you both so much!

the original request is here!!

Black,

I will not ever apologize for the nature of this message.

You are truly the most inconsiderate person I have ever encountered in my entire life. People go to the library to study, not to be disturbed by your ridiculous pranks or incessant chatting. I mean, honestly, how do you manage to sneak in every single day and evade Madame Pince as if it were an easy feat? I can’t even whisper without receiving one of her dreadful glares.

Some of us have to study for good marks; we can’t all be as fortunate as you. If you would kindly refrain from entering the library next Tuesday through Thursday, I would be eternally grateful.

From, (Your Initials)

Dear (Your Initials),

Blimey, I hope I never come across you on a bad day. Your words are quite nasty, all I want is to give people a good laugh while they’re crying over textbooks and I can’t help it if my beautiful voice echoes amongst the shelves of books.

Madame Pince adores my best mate Remus, so she does not usually punish me unless I do something drastic or dangerous. It’s rewarding to have a bookworm as a best friend in more ways than one.

If you don’t mind me asking, why must I avoid the library next Tuesday through Thursday? I just want to make sure you have a good enough reason before I change my whole schedule around for someone that sent me hate mail who, for all I know, I have never met.

Kindest Regards, Sirius Orion Black

Sirius Black,

If you must know, Professor Slughorn detests me and gave me an ‘Acceptable’ on my last practical exam even though I only made one small mistake. My father is a potions master and will be so disappointed in me if I don’t get at least an E on my potions N.E.W.T.

I’m being tutored on those three days because we have another practical on Friday. So, please, if you have a heart, stay out of the library. If you must be in the library, please, for the love of Merlin, stay quiet. I want the library to be as quiet as Professor Binn’s morning lessons because everyone is always asleep. Does anyone even like History of Magic?

Also, I know I said I would never apologize, but I’m sorry for being so rude in my first letter. I was a bit angry but you didn’t deserve to be called the most inconsiderate person I’ve ever met. That title is reserved for someone else.

Anyway, have a good night, Sirius.

Sincerely, (Your Initials)

Dearest (Your Initials),

It’s quite alright, I know I can be a bit much sometimes.

Hey, if you need a great tutor, Moony – I mean Remus, is a genius in every subject. Last month he helped Dorcas Meadows go from a ‘Poor’ on her Veritaserum practical to an ‘E’ on the Amortentia practical. I swear, the boy is magic, pun most definitely intended. I asked him if he would be up for it and he said yes, so all you have to do is find him and ask!

I’m curious to know who the most inconsiderate person you’ve ever met is…an ex-boyfriend? Former lover? Severus Snape?

It’s probably the latter. I’ve seen him do some things worthy of that title.

I swear to you, on my honor, I will stay out of the library on the days you specified.

Hugs and Kisses, Sirius

Sirius,

Like I would tell you who the person I hate the most is! You don’t even know my name, my house, or anything about me other than that I’m not that great at potions and spend ample time in the library.

I have a great tutor, but thank you for asking Remus if he would help a random Hogwarts student. For all you know, I could be one of the truly evil Slytherins (not all of them are that terrible, you know).

You don’t have to keep writing to me, I’m sure it’s tiresome looking for the owl reserved for anonymity every day. Besides, it’s Tuesday and you did not cause a disturbance in the library this evening. For that, I am eternally grateful, as promised.

Your Friend, Sincerely, (Your Initials)

(Your Initials),

You think you’re sneaky but I saw that scribbled out ‘Your Friend’! I’d reckon we’re friends, yeah? I look forward to receiving your letters and I hope you feel the same about mine, otherwise this would be terribly awkward.

I am a man of my word, so of course I stayed out of the library today. Plus, I can’t have you going around telling people I’m a terrible person because I ignored your desperate pleas.

Only two more days until the dreaded practical! Are you sure you don’t want Moony’s help? I swear you won’t regret it.

James asked me to help him write his DADA essay due Thursday (crazy, right? Someone asking me for help? I knew I was a genius!), so if I promise to be quiet and only focus on schoolwork, may I enter the library tomorrow night?

Your Friend, Sirius

Sirius,

I know this is late notice (I did not have a chance to write you yesterday because I was incredibly busy) but of course you can enter the library! I hope you did so that you could help James! I know I might have banned you from it but you don’t have to ask my permission to study there. What did you think I was going to do, hex you if I saw your obnoxiously pretty face?

That would be a sight to see. I’m sure the entire female population of Hogwarts would call for my head on a stick.

Please don’t remind me of how soon the practical is – it is literally tomorrow! If I don’t get Draught of Living Death right on the first try tonight I’m going to hide in the Astronomy tower forever. It’s quite nice up there at night so I can just sleep during the day and stay awake all night to look at the stars.

Hope you had fun helping James with his essay!

Your Friend, (Your Initials)

(Your Initials),

Obnoxiously pretty face? You’re too kind, though most girls go with ‘incredibly sexy’ or ‘devilishly handsome’. However, I’ll take all the compliments I can get, especially if they’re coming from someone as wonderful as you. I would never let the entire female population of Hogwarts lay one finger on you.

It’s nice to know there is another who appreciates the Astronomy tower as much as I do. The next time you visit at night, keep an eye out for Canis Major. It contains Sirius: the star I was named after, the brightest star in Earth’s night sky, and a beautiful sight to see.

I did not have fun helping James with his essay last night, believe it or not. He was too busy making googly eyes at your friend Lily until she left to go tutor someone, who I suspect was you since you said you had a brilliant potions tutor. I can’t believe she finally gave him a chance, I thought he was going to be pining after her forever.

If I don’t have the chance to write you again before tomorrow, good luck on the practical. I know you can do it. I believe in you. You are smart, fully capable, and determined. Slughorn will be so impressed with your Draught of Living Death he’ll invite you to join the Slug Club and you can take me as your date to all of his parties.

Your Friend, Sirius

Sirius,

THE PRACTICAL IS FINALLY OVER AND DONE!

I feel like I can breathe again. I made no mistakes, can you believe it? I could cry, I’m so happy and relieved.

This will probably make your already gigantic head even bigger, but Canis Major is my favorite constellation, and Sirius is my favorite star. But, it has absolutely nothing to do with you; I was really into astronomy before I even knew I was a witch and started at Hogwarts.

You think I’m wonderful? Smart? Capable? Determined? Sirius Black, you don’t even know who I am. It’s just in your nature to flirt with every female that crosses your path.

Your Friend, (Your Initials)

Dear Y/N,

As a matter of fact, I do know who you are because I am an observant lad. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff have their potions practical exams on Thursdays, while Gryffindor and Slytherin have theirs on Fridays. You wrote previously that you “could be one of the truly evil Slytherins”, and a true Slytherin would never call their housemates evil, which leads me to believe that you are a fellow Gryffindor.

Secondly, Lily accidentally let it slip a few weeks ago that she was tutoring you in potions before you even wrote to me. I have a very good memory.

(I also recognized your handwriting after your second letter from when we were paired together for that History of Magic assignment in fifth year. You have very distinct cursive.)

You underestimate me, Y/N, I’m not just an obnoxiously pretty face.

Your Friend, Sirius

Sirius,

You’re unbelievable. I may be one of Lily’s friends, and a Gryffindor, but we never really speak and I thought you didn’t know of my existence besides the week of the History of Magic project. You didn’t speak much, so I thought you were angry you weren’t paired with James, Remus, or Peter. I’ve always been quite intimidated by you.

Lily suggested I just ask you in person to stay out of the library, but I probably would have fainted before I could get any words out so I thought an anonymous letter would do the trick. Somehow, it did, and after conversing with you, I’ve decided you’re really not that intimidating.

Congratulations, Black, your impeccable penmanship and irritating charm has somehow helped me to not be intimidated by you and your presence.

Your Friend, Y/N

Dearest Y/N,

You know what would really change your mind about me? If you would let me take you to Hogsmeade this weekend.

Honestly, I’ve always known of your existence. I have since you stood next to me at the sorting ceremony and then sat next to me during the feast our first year. You probably don’t even remember, but you told me that I had pretty eyes and I’ve been hooked on you ever since.

It’s funny how everyone thinks of me as this confident, charming young man, but I’ve been afraid to speak to you for the past seven years.

Why? I couldn’t tell you.

Moony thinks it’s because you intimidate me, which is actually a pretty great theory because you’re bloody gorgeous, the smartest girl I’ve ever met, and you have the kindest heart.

James thinks it’s because you never paid any attention to me and I was secretly afraid of rejection, which also makes sense.

I think I’m just a bloody idiot who should have told you years ago how I feel, but I was too busy being a trollop and ignoring my feelings because emotions are complicated and messy.

So, what do you say? Will you let me take you out? Woo you?

Hugs and (hopefully) Kisses, Sirius Black, The Man Whose Heart You Stole

Sirius,

I have a confession. You intimidated me because I’ve had the most humongous crush on you since, you guessed it, the sorting ceremony, and I was afraid I would make a fool out of myself in front of you. Honestly, when you’re around, I can’t form coherent thoughts in my head, which is bloody terrifying because I am an articulate and confident young woman. There’s just something about you that turns me into a blushing, bumbling mess.

I’d love for you to take me out and ‘woo me’. There’s no time like the present! I can’t believe we wasted almost seven years because we were too afraid to speak to each other.

I feel like I’m eleven years old again when I wanted to tell you that I was excited to get to know you, that I was so very happy that we were put in the same house, and that I hoped we would be great friends, but all I could manage was “you have pretty eyes”, which I guess worked in my favor.

Hugs and (eventual) Kisses, Y/N

permanent tag list: @thephelpstwins, @yourslytherinprincess, @wutheringweasley, @weaslcywheezes

(let me know if you want to be added to a tag list!)

#sirius black x reader #sirius black fluff #sirius black imagine #sirius black #sirius black fic #hp x reader #hp fluff

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jessaadventures-blog · 6 years

Text

Week Four: Friends, Family, and Food

The Capullana caves arch.

**Sorry for the late post, wifi access was minimal this weekend! I wrote most of this on Friday, so just pretend it’s Friday instead of Monday :) **

A month has flown by!! It was fun to see my mom this week and show her around Lobitos. The EcoSwell team made a number of new friends this week, including a couple of new volunteers. We are also now generating clean and drinkable distilled water! It’s been a busy week and there is lots to tell :)

The EcoHouse

Our homemade vegan fruit crumble!! It was delicious :)

We have a couple of new people in the EcoHouse!! Jenny arrived on Tuesday afternoon, and she seems great! She is going into her final year at Humboldt State in energy resources engineering (a major I almost did too) and is from the bay area. It’s been really fun to have another girl in the house; she’s very outgoing and fun to talk to! Jenny is helping Joris and I with the solar distiller, so we’re hopefully going to make a lot of progress in the next few weeks!

Jack arrived yesterday (Thursday). He’s from London and just finished his first year at uni studying geography (with a Spanish component). I haven’t had much of a chance to talk to him yet, but he seems really friendly and eager to help out. He’s here for NGO management, so he’ll be able to help me out with social media (yay!). With Jack we have seven volunteers and we only have room in the house for six, so he’s staying at Nacho’s hostel until Isa leaves next Friday.

Other than our newbies, we’ve had a crazy good food week. During this week’s Talara trip, the guys that went bought a lot less food than normal, which I think has upped our creativity and thus upped the awesomeness of our home-cooked meals. We had Taco Tuesday (as always), but we didn’t have tortillas, so we whipped up some homemade tortillas that were pretty amazing!! Wednesday was veggie burger night again and we cooked up some amazing veggie burgers using our now tried and trusted recipe (minimalist baker’s sweet potato black bean burgers). We also made a strawberry, nectarine, and papaya crumble that hit the spot for dessert! Thursday night we went out to Tranqui’s because Jack had just arrived and Jenny hadn’t been there yet, but he was out of his yummy plantains and french fries :( Luckily, though, Isa and Jenny and I had made two AMAZING vegan carrot cakes earlier in the day (we had a bunch of carrots we needed to get rid of) and everybody chowed down on them both Thursday night and this morning. And tonight we have a vegan pot pie in the oven that looks delicious and I can’t wait to eat!!

We also watched a couple of cool movies this week, one was called Rushmore, a Wes Anderson film about a guy who wants to stay at his prep school forever, and Ex Machina, which I hadn’t seen before and was a little crazy but pretty well done, I thought.

There also was a pisco party one evening, and four of our new friends (two pairs of van-life couples staying at La Casona from Germany and Austria) joined us and learned about what we do at EcoSwell (they were very into it)!

Work

Joris, Jenny, and I with our working distiller!

The distiller is officially up and running! It still needs quite a few improvements, but it can produce very pure distilled water. Right now we’re getting about three liters a day, but we think we can increase that quite a bit by making it more air-tight and making some other changes. We have spent quite a bit of time filtering seawater to get macro organisms out of the water (you don’t want stuff dying in the distiller and stinking up the water) and the distiller can take about 50 liters at a time, which it distills over about five days (right now). We’re on the way to making a really effective and sustainable source of clean drinking water for Lobitos!

Planting day was really fun this week, we had both of our new van life couples come help out, so we got a lot done pretty fast Wednesday morning! I helped germinate some oregano and cilantro and then mixed and poured dirt for the veggie garden/orchard. We also planted a bunch of vetiver (bug and odor repellant grass) on the path to the dry toilet. We took some group pictures and gave the van lifers EcoSwell shirts as thanks for their help! Then we made our classic big planting day breakfast and got working on the projects again.

On Friday, a few of us went in to Talara to look for materials for our projects (Jenny and I got some items that will improve the distiller), and I got to experience ProMart (the weirdly similar Peruvian version of Home Depot) and Plazavea, the grocery store. We went to lunch at Black Pepe, a local restaurant run out of a man’s living room, and had a delicious salad (I also tried a bite of a yummy classic seafood dish called mariscos) before heading home with our new materials.

Adventures

Mom and I at the Capullana caves!

This weekend was really fun because my mom was here from Friday to Tuesday and we got to go on some adventures and I got to show her around Lobitos! She arrived early Friday morning and knocked on the door just as I was leaving for a run. If you want to hear her wild travel story check out her facebook! Anyway, she made it after an exhausting night and crashed in my bed while she waited for the hostel to open. She moved into her room at lunch time and after work I went up to La Casona (the hostel up the hill where she stayed) and had a nice happy hour with her on the deck as we watched the sun set. She had already made friends with one of the van life couples (from Germany) and was talking up a storm in classic mom fashion. After sunset we decided to walk the beach down to a restaurant she had been recommended by some surfers, El Cuartel. It had amazing veggie burgers and sweet potato fries, along with quinoa and potato salads! After dinner we headed home and decided to watch The Martian with everyone, which ended up going until midnight and Mom found out that she had been locked out of her hostel. So, she came and slept in my twin-size bottom bunk bed with me and kept me up half the night with her snoring (haha..).

On Saturday we decided to head to Mancora (a touristy party town an hour and a half north) for the day as a little mother-daughter adventure. While we were waiting for the combie to take us to Talara from Lobitos, we met the other van-life couple (from Austria) and talked to them for a while as we all looked for a combie that would fit us. (We happened to meet both van-life couples at different times than the EcoSwell directors, but they both became friends with all of us! Funny how we all ran into each other one way or another.) Anyway, Mom and I successfully made it to Talara and then into a van going to Mancora, and as soon as we got to Mancora we walked the beach and wandered the vendor stalls (super touristy) and then had a yummy lunch at the Black Sheep, which had amazing vegan burgers and juices. We spent the next few hours hanging out on the beach reading, napping, and watching horses give people rides and rented ATVs zooming down the beach. After we had enjoyed the atmosphere for a while we went and had happy hour at one of the nearby restaurants, and I tried a Bolivian drink that mom had in Ecuador and mom tried a maracuya (passionfruit) sour. We wandered our way to the bus station and hopped on the Expo bus back to Talara with a French surfer dude we met in the bus station who was also headed to Lobitos. We made it into Talara after dark and barely caught the last Lobitos combie of the night, which we packed with sixteen people, a spare tire, a few bags of groceries, and a surfboard. It was a wild ride! We cooked up some pasta back at the EcoHouse, and that was the same night of the pisco party with the van-lifers that we’d met! Mom made it back before the hostel locked up, so I got my bed to myself again :)

Sunday morning I attempted to do laundry and mostly flooded the kitchen, but after a few hours my clothes were clean and the kitchen was once again dry. Mom and I went to the rocks at La Punta and tanned, read, and watched the surfers ride the big waves. We headed to lunch at Cora, a restaurant I’d heard a lot about but hadn’t yet been to, and had a yummy veggie stir fry while mom tried the fresh fish. That evening, Henry (our local surfer friend) offered to take us all to the Capullana caves up the coast a bit. A bunch of us hopped in his and his brother’s mototaxis with Henry’s two dogs and drove the dirt road to scramble around some cliffs and caves and watch the sunset. It was really beautiful, and climbing down and up the ropes was exciting! We saw little red crabs everywhere and a bunch of blue-footed boobies (famous birds that Darwin studied) that mom hadn’t even seen in the Galapagos. The caves were an incredible adventure, and I’m really glad mom was there to experience them too! We got home after dark and headed to Tranqui’s for our classic Sunday dinner.

On Monday after work, I went up to La Casona for happy hour and sunset with mom again, and the EcoTeam joined us a bit later! Mom challenged Andres, one of the directors, to a game of digital backgammon on her phone (he won but she was in the lead for most of the game) and we all headed to 420 for dinner after, where we had some yummy pizza and pasta and piña coladas for mom’s last night :)

Mom stopped by for lunch on Tuesday before she left for the airport, and I said goodbye and wished her good luck with the rest of her travels (from what I’ve heard it sounds like they’ve been going well!) and sent her off to the Talara airport with Julio, our neighbor.

There weren’t many adventures the rest of the week, but on Thursday night at Tranqui’s we made friends with a drunk British guy who was cycling South America, and he called us EcoWarriors, so that was fun!

One of the fishing boats (still in use!) on the beach.

This was a great week; it was really fun to see mom and hear her stories of her travels alone in Latin America, which I’m really impressed with (especially because she doesn’t speak any Spanish) and I’m glad I got out to see more of this area of Peru! The cooking this week was really fun, I definitely want to eat in and cook more. I can’t believe I’ve been here a month already; only five more weeks until I head south to Patagonia! Stay tuned for more fun stories and adventures (I had a bit of a wild weekend, details will be included in the next post)!

#EcoSwell #summer 2018 #Lobitos #Peru

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ericvick · 3 years

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Readers share what it's like to go house hunting in Mass.

Have you been to an open house lately? You’ve probably experienced the frenzy. Maybe you toured a home only to hear the real estate agent say an offer has already been made on the house, sign unseen. Perhaps the process is too frustrating, and you’ve decided to rent.

We recently asked readers to share their stories of what it’s like to house hunt in Massachusetts. We received a wide range of stories from the “unbelievably lucky” to the “very bizarre.” Many readers were surprised at the state of the homes they toured — and the number of competitive offers they’ve made without success.

Below, we feature 10 responses from readers.

Do you have your own unbelievable house hunting story? Share it with us here or e-mail [email protected].

‘We were unbelievably lucky’

“We are still in shock,” Kate in North Attleborough wrote. After the pandemic hit, Kate wanted more space than her one-bedroom in Boston. With her lease up in October, she started house hunting in May. “We started looking in anticipation of a difficult search. On our first day meeting our real estate agent, the 2nd house we looked at was being built and would be ready in October. Put an offer in and it was accepted,” she wrote. “That was it, one day of looking at homes and our first offer we put in was accepted. We waited a while to tell some of our friends because one was on their 10th offer and still no house. We were unbelievably lucky.”

‘Wheel yourself around to the washer’

Don in Charlestown recalled a house he visited where the washing machine was located in a basement that was only 5 feet high. Then he noticed a number of chairs on wheels. “So to use the washer, let’s say (unless you were willing to stoop the entire time), you would sit in one of these chairs and wheel yourself around to the washer and wherever else you needed to go,” he wrote. “The house also had a stocked trout pond and the trout were obviously hungry. The broker would throw a handful of fish food into the pond and the water would erupt with starving trout. At any rate we did not buy this house and never learned why the basement was 3 feet short. We just hope the trout survived.”

‘No offers were made that day’

Brandon Moss of Boston was house hunting in the Bridgewater and Lakeville areas with more than a few unusual touring experiences. One of them included a floor-to-ceiling pile of beer cans and boxes inside an enclosed porch and “a bedroom set up in the basement adjacent to the boiler (without windows), which eerily reminded me of Sloth’s living quarters in ‘Goonies,’ ” he wrote. Moss continued on to another house “where renovations were half-complete. When asked the status, the occupant indicated that it was the ex’s fault (clearly the marriage broke up in the midst of renovations).�� Moss added, “Suffice it to say that no offers were made that day.”

‘Very bizarre’

Jennifer in Natick was house hunting in Needham when she walked through a highly monitored home that may have been owned by a family that also ran a dry-cleaning business. “They had a family member sitting like a statue in each room that we entered to protect against theft, I guess. They didn’t speak but just freaked people out as they walked through the house and entered each room. They also had a complete dry-cleaning clothes rack system in their basement, just like a dry-cleaner, filled with clothes. It was very bizarre,” she wrote.

‘Naked in bed during the inspection’

“Looking to buy a house we inspected one that was currently being rented. The two people who lived there were naked in bed during the inspection time,” Kelly in Brookline wrote.

‘The attached garage which held our future soundproofed party pad was actually 7 feet over the property line’

Richard in Boston shared his house hunting experience in the southwest region of the city back in 2007. “[I] was looking at a bungalow that came with, of all things, a recording studio. We made an offer only to discover that the attached garage which held our future soundproofed party pad was actually 7 feet over the property line, on land owned by the town. There was no way any mortgage company would grant a loan for something like that even in those days. The seller suggested we could move in anyway and rent it until it got sorted out! Then they offered to convert the studio into a small office with the bonus of a window. Our realtor wisely advised against it and the last we heard was the seller had to demolish the offending section of the house before putting it back on the market. Yikes!”

‘There were 30 other offers like ours’

“I think the process as a whole is just crazy!” Gina wrote. She sold her condo in March with more than 100 people touring the space and selling in less than five days. “That was the easy part,” she wrote.

The Waltham resident went on to share what it’s like to be house hunting in the Worcester area since December. “Each week we see anywhere from 2 to 6 houses for about 15 mins because that is all that is allowed with our agent in towns from Bolton to Grafton,” she wrote. She noted that sometimes children aren’t allowed at showings, so she has to leave her 6-year-old daughter with family.

“Then comes the Sunday scramble — we can only put one offer on one house. So we come up with the best offer that includes things we are willing to waive (heat system upgrade, bank appraisal, etc.) to be competitive. We look at comps in the neighborhood, well water tests and disclosures from the current owner. Then we furiously sign document after document to get our final offer in by Monday morning with a friendly letter to the sellers about our family,” Gina wrote. “Then we wait to hear that we didn’t actually get the house because there were 30 other offers like ours. Unfortunately we haven’t closed on our house yet so most sellers don’t want to take a chance that our sale will fall through. It is a stressful process but made even more stressful because we have to do it all over again each week.”

‘The open house was a literal frat party’

“We looked at a home directly on the water in Winthrop a few years ago that had dropped its price to 100K, well below what it was worth and the open house was a literal frat party,” Gabriella in Winthrop wrote. With so many people viewing the property, and all the stuff the owner had accumulated, it was hard to move around the house. “The living room wall was being held up by a beach chair and the bedroom windows were covered in black trash bags. People were going around peeling wallpaper off the walls to see the condition of the plaster and pulling up corners of rugs to see the floors. … We ended up buying a house a few streets over, but the owner still hasn’t sold despite many, many offers.”

‘It’s truly a marathon not a sprint’

Paul and his wife in the South End have been going to open houses every weekend since October. The couple have been looking to buy in the suburbs “from Weston down to Hingham,” always submitting an offer at or above the asking price. According to Paul, when January hit, “things really heated up.”

“The first house we submitted an offer on was in Wayland for a house $729K. At the 1st showing (which was basically 10 minutes because there was a line of 30 people out the door on a Thursday) we submitted an offer for full asking price, no contingencies, close in 30 days. The realtor didn’t even get back with us! We only found out 3 days later that the house was under agreement and sold for $70K over asking. You would think this house was a funeral home because it looked like there was a wake line outside. … Lastly, my wife and I went to go see a home this past Wednesday in sleeeeepy Sherborn. When I say this house was in the woods, deep in the woods! At 12:45PM on a Wednesday in March, there were 25 cars on the street for a home that was asking $985,000. … Not disclosed to the average buyer looking at the pretty Zillow listing: The septic tank was 31 years old and hadn’t been pumped in 6 years! It was a beautiful home but we are staying away because of the underground details. Not to mention there’s a freight train that runs by the house at night and blows the horn. Little details that you pick up on when you do your research!

It’s super disheartening out there but I think it’s truly a marathon not a sprint. Once people get vaccinated and people want to travel once again this summer, I am hoping the competition dwindles.”

‘Incredibly frustrating, I decided to rent’

“I’ve made five offers in the South Shore over the course of eight months. The last house I didn’t get I was told by the seller’s agent that I had the highest offer, (significantly over asking, no contingencies) but they picked buyers that are more ‘similar to their family situation’ because of the letter they wrote. I think that could be discrimination? Incredibly frustrating, I decided to rent,” Kelly in Canton wrote.

Subscribe to the Globe’s free real estate newsletter — our weekly digest on buying, selling, and design —at pages.email.bostonglobe.com/AddressSignUp. Follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @globehomes.

#House #hunting #Mass #readers #share

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andromedahawking · 7 years

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NaNoWriMo Day 7

One week! One whole week! 11667 words! I’m doing a thing!!

(Apologies again, sleep-induced weirdness may occur here...)

Things progressed smoothly over the next week. The project moved swiftly, Maria made sure to keep up on all her other classes, and work managed not to drive her crazy. All in all, she’d had worse weeks.

But then, it was Tuesday, the 7th of November, 2084.

Election Day.

She woke up that morning briefly ignorant of this very important fact, and for that moment, it was a very blissful ignorance. But then the bubble popped, right as she was about to get out of bed, and suddenly she decided she wasn’t feeling up to going to school todayy. She would just stay home and sleep. Yeah. Let’s not think about the outside world today.

Group Chat

Maria: Someone tell Monaca I'm sick, won’t be in today.

Tatie: I’ve got you, sweetheart.

Maria: Thanks.

She let her phone fall out of her hand, and buried her face in her pillow. Why today, of all days, to exist on this mortal plane?

At around 9, she heard the front door slam shut, and she let out a small sigh of relief. Thalia was taken care of. One less thing to have to think about now.

She tried to go back to sleep, but her mind was swirling with thoughts about the election. It was going to be a very big night, and a lot of the hubbub would probably have her name tossed out way more frequently than she would ever like it to be. Why did she have to be a dumbass? Why did she have to try to make a statement? And why did everybody else decide to listen?

John had said it was looking close this time. Herald and Andrews were easy losers, anybody could tell but Alighieri and Waters… that was where the real battle was gonna play out. It was going to go to Round 3 voting, without a doubt, and the margin would be incredibly thin when it was all said and done. And of course, tomorrow would probably be worse than today, because the result would be known and everyone with half an opinion would be rushing around to tell everybody what they thought about the whole ordeal and what it meant for the future and yadda yadda ya, just thinking about it pissed her off.

She moved her head under her pillow, and clamped it down around her ears in a futile attempt to drown out the noise in her head, and slowly managed to drift off into a very unstable sleep.

—

She woke up multiple times: 11, 13, 17, and then finally got up at 19 to get a couple pieces of toast and some milk before going back upstairs to crash again, telling Thalia, “Lemme know who wins before you leave tomorrow, m’kay?”

“Thought you don’t give a fuck.”

“Would that I could, sis, would that I could.”

“You gonna actually get up tomorrow?”

“Not if I can help it.”

—

The next morning, Maria was awoken by a sharp knocking at the door.

“Wh’d’you wan’?”

“Alighieri won. 220 to 215.”

“Ah, sweet. Make sure to kick anybody’s ass who gives you any grief at school, tell ‘em I told you to.”

“Buddy, you don’t gotta tell me twice. I was planning on kicking ass anyway.”

“Attagirl, Thal. I’ll see ya later.”

“Don’t spend the whole day being dead, okay? You look like shit when you do that.”

“Thanks, Thalia, I already knew that. Now get to school.”

“Roger dodger, sis…”

She listened to her footsteps thunder down the steps, then the front door slam. Then it was very, very quiet.

So, Alighieri, huh? President Alighieri. That was not gonna go over well for a lot of people. Having a Democrat snatch victory out of Progressive jaws after everything that had happened this year was something that was considered a bit of a worst-case scenario in the eyes of the liberal establishment. So that also meant Maria had to keep out of the public eye again, to avoid getting pulled back into the blame circle and being picked apart again by all the media pundits.

God, couldn’t she just lead a normal life? Somehow?

Ping.

Tatie: You going to call in sick again today?

Well, kudos to you, Tatie, for being very observant and also very up-front.

Maria: Something like that.

Tatie: Hope you know where to find the homework. And make sure you show up on Thursday, otherwise four out of four groupmates will murder you!~

Maria: Don’t worry, I’ll be in tomorrow. I don’t like the idea of being drawn and quartered any time soon.

Tatie: Haha yeah, generally speaking it’s good to try and avoid death. We would prefer you alive.

Maria: Me too. I’m going to be passed out most of today so don’t be surprised if I don’t answer any of my messages until tonight at some point.

Tatie: Enjoy your sleep, then~ I’ll leave you alone.

Maria: See you tomorrow.

—

Maria did manage to extricate herself from bed on Thursday, although to be perfectly honest, it was mainly because she didn’t want to be the one to flake out on the group project first. If she did that, then she was screwed on a school level as welll as a national one. Thankfully, school was also a lot easier to repair, so on balance, probably not the worst thing in the world if she missed today. Just bad.

Adrien and Hannah were chatting outside the History room when Maria got there. “Hey, Maria!” Adrien said, waving. “How’s it going?”

“I am so tired,” she groaned. “The last two days just had me wiped out.”

“Yeah, we missed you on Tuesday,” Hannah said. “You just catch a bug or something?”

“Mm-hm. Nothing too serious, just sorta took the energy out of me. I’m over it now.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “So, uh, what did I miss, dare I ask?”

“Not much, actually,” Hannah said. “Monaca spent most of it just sort of going over the details of Teller City. Most of it’s in the reader.”

“Okay, good,” Maria nodded. “I can live with that.”

“She also was railing about making sure to vote,” Adrien snickered. “I didn’t think she could be much more high-energy than she already is, but man, that was something to see.”

“Definitely,” Hannah agreed. “You were probably smart to stay away from that if you were under the weather.”

“Oh, yeah, I can only imagine.”

“Keep it that way. It was hilarious, but also a little bit scary,” Adrien said.

“I just hope that she doesn’t use today as to follow up on that…” Hannah said.

Just then, Monaca came around the corner of the hall, Snapple bottle in hand. “Morning, guys!” she said, waving enthusiastically. “How was your Wednesday?”

They all gave her the usual spiels about "lots of stuff to do” and “not enough sleep”.

“God, you guys sound like my roommates from when I was in college,” she said.

“It’s almost like we’re in college or something,” Maria said, smirking sarcastically.

“Woooow, really?! I never would’ve guessed!”

—

“Now, today’s gonna be a bit different from the usual format,” Monaca said to the class. “That’s because the election has been decided, so as your History teacher, I’m obligated to spend a few minutes with y’all to discuss the implications this whole thing has on the future of the next four years, what it means for you, for us, all that good stuff. So let me start off by asking, how many of you followed the election pretty closely?”

About a quarter of the class raised their hands.

“Okay, and how about just the cursory stuff, like the headlines and stuff?”

About three-fourths of the class raised their hands this time.

“Alright. That’s a fairly decent percentage of you. Now, how many of you voted for the candidate on the ballot, and not the party?”

“…Um, could you explain that a little better?” Graham asked.

“Sure.” She picked up her bottle, empty now, and started fiddling with it in her hands. “What I mean is, when you voted, how many of you chose your options based on who you liked, as opposed to based on which party they belonged to? Did you vote for Terry Waters because you like Terry, or do you just like the Progressive Party?”

“Oh, man, that’s a harsh question, don’t you think, teach?” Maria asked with a small grin on her face.

“The truth hurts, what can I say?” Monaca said, grinning back. “You don’t have to answer, of course, I just thought that would be a good question to roll around in your heads for a little while today. A lot of people tend to vote for a candidate based on which party they belong to more than what the candidate’s positions actually are. Party loyalty plays more of a role than what the candidate is about. You can usually infer a candidate’s positions based on which party they’re a member of, but just because someone’s a Democrat or a Republican or a Progressive doesn’t mean they’ll fit neatly into the party platform. Heck, the Progressives and Constitutionals became major parties because the Dems and the Republicans split way back in the 20s and 30s, remember? Party is an umbrella, but candidates are usually more specific.”

“Implies politicians keep a stable platform!” someone called out, earning a lot of snickers from the class.

“You got me there!” Monaca laughed. “Yes, politicians are always notorious for saying one thing and doing another, hypocrites that they are. But hey, that’s part of how it all works. Politics is just as much about charisma and knowing how to talk to a specific audience as it is about policy. You can’t get very far if you can’t get a lot of very different people behind you.

“But now I’m rambling! Okay, back on topic. So, with Waters and Alighieri, what do you guys think the main difference was that…”

#NaNoWriMo #My work #My OCs

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sydneytorome · 7 years

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Where the lemons grow

My dearest friends, family and readers

I guess I’ve officially turned into an Italian stereotype: I once again didn’t keep my promise of writing a new blogpost on time. I’ll no longer keep you waiting by writing an unnecessary long introduction, so enjoy reading part two of my Italian journey!

The first week of April started off calmly. I have the feeling all of us are a little bit stuck in a rut right now, so the general atmosphere around school wasn’t all too cheerful. Most of us were going to be on a two week Easter break starting from this weekend and the prospects of seeing friends and family again or going on a nice trip away from Rome probably didn’t help either. With the few of us that were not flying back home over the weekend, we came up with the idea to organise a little road trip to Pescara, a sleepy beach town in Abruzzo. I was more than excited, because I really felt the need to just be on the road with good friends and ‘breathe’, away from the ever so busy streets of Rome. Quite soon, however, we figured I’d be the only one with a legal driver’s license, so I’d be the only one driving. How cool the idea may seem, I wasn’t ready yet to carry that responsibility. There goes my ‘Paper Town meets Eat, Pray, Love’ teen movie scenario.

On Tuesday, I visited the MACRO Museo d’Arte Contemporanea Roma after classes. A lot smaller and not as impressive as the MAXXI, but nevertheless an ideal way to spend a sunny afternoon!

On Wednesday, I booked a spontaneous train ticket to Montecarlo, a Tuscan town right between Firenze and Lucca to visit Allegra and her family in their Italian house from Friday to Saturday. I seriously couldn’t wait and looked forward to just get away for a while, visiting a friend and thus a little piece of ‘home’. Besides, who could say no to a weekend getaway in Tuscany?

On Thursday, we went out for dinner for Claire’s and Florence’s last dinner somewhere near the Pantheon. It’s so crazy how fast time flies – I can still remember Florence’s warm welcome when I first arrived here like it was yesterday, or I genuinely had the feeling Claire had only been here for a week instead of a full month. Florence was like my big sister here, and Claire was a whole lot of ‘woop woop’ fun. Goodbyes are never fun, especially when you’re saying goodbye to people you grew sincerely fond of.

My weekend began early, because on Friday early morning, I was already sitting on the train towards Montecarlo. The three-hour train journey was actually somehow relaxing – a cappuccino, a bottle of ice tea and my travel journal by my side, enjoying the green scenery the train kept riding by. Around lunchtime, Allegra and her cheerful mom came to pick me up at the tiny train station. I got welcomed by the entire family and got handed a glass of divine champagne made in their own fattoria as everyone was busy setting up the table on the terrace to dig into Tuscan specialities for lunch. Little to say, I was so overwhelmed by all this kindness and warmness – something you can really only find in Italy.

Allegra and I spent the day talking about everything and nothing, enjoying the splendid view over the Tuscan valley and walking around the grounds of the house until it was time for dinner. It was so heart-warming and amusing to see how they were all just chatting along and bickering about the latest news; it made me long for my own family yet made me feel so grateful that for a moment I was seen as a part of theirs. After dinner, we drove up to the closest village that still had an open gelataria to enjoy Italy’s best dessert, gelato!

On Saturday morning; Allegra, her mom and I did some shopping in Lucca. I vaguely remembered a few streets, as I had been here with my parents a few years ago, but I had honestly forgotten how lovely and picturesque it was. We were back in Montecarlo at lunchtime and after another nice lunch on their splendid terrace, it was already time for me to head back to Rome.

On the train ride home, I had the biggest smile on my face. I was so proud of myself, because the past two days I had seen a Marie I hadn’t realised I had the potential to be yet. I was chatty, open and enthusiastic; never feeling nervous or not at ease. Moments like these just really show how far I’ve come. One last time; I want to thank Allegra, her parents, her grandparents, her brothers and her cousin to be so welcoming and amazingly kind. This weekend has meant the world to me.

On Sunday; I finally found the time to meet up with Nikolaas, Emma and Jens; who were here on their ‘Italy trip’ with school. They didn’t have a lot of time as their lunch break was short, but it was nice to catch up with them. Afterwards, I quickly said hi to a few of my old teachers before they started the infamous queue to get into the Colosseum. So surreal to see all of them here, in ‘my’ Rome! After saying goodbye to everyone, I hurried to the metro station where I had met up with my friends to go to Ostia where we spent the afternoon picnicking on the beach. A Sunday well spent brings a week of content!

The second week of April already marked my last week in the A2 level, so that meant I’d have to take a level test to go into B1 by the end of the week. Fair to say I’m learning quickly! On Tuesday evening, we went to a dinner/drink/party event on a boat which was part of club called Lian. The food was surprisingly good, the drinks surprisingly cheap and we all had – not so surprisingly – a really, really good time.

On Wednesday, I basically used the free time I had to revise for my level test, which would take place the next day. So yes, EF students do study. Sometimes.

On Thursday afternoon, we explored Monti, a part of Rome right between the train station Termini and the Colosseum that’s known for its more laid-back and alternative atmosphere. We treated ourselves with some pastries and coffee before looking around some thrift shops in search of some edgy piece of clothing. No luck, but at least I had eaten a gluten free brownie, so I wasn’t complaining.

On Friday, we got the results back from our tests, which went well for pretty much all of us. B1, baby! As it wouldn’t make sense to have actual lessons today, the weather was nice and it was Friday; we had both our classes outside today. We did some photography activities around Piazza del Campidoglio and walked around the Ghetto Ebraico di Roma. The nice thing about doing those classes outside is that you find out so much about small, hidden spots in Rome thanks to your teachers – like a stunning rooftop terrace belonging to the Musei Capitolini and offers an incredible view over the city, yet is completely free!

After school, we walked to Villa Borghese and enjoyed the sun for a while. I still remember how wintery the park still looked the first time I went there in February, and now all the trees and bushes had blossomed, turning the park into nothing but luscious greenery.

On Saturday morning; Andrea, Valentina, Thomas and I left for Verona to spend the Easter weekend in the infamous city of Romeo and Juliet. We had our train at seven in the morning, so we got there early enough to still enjoy an entire first day in this beautiful little city. After eating lunch in our AirBnB, we immediately started to explore the city. We walked around the Arena of Verona and Piazza Bra, found our way through the bustling shopping street and made it to Casa di Giulietta. In Juliet’s House, we were overwhelmed with romantic notes everywhere along the outside walls, rusty locks, couple pictures and long-lost love letters. The museum itself wasn’t really worth it in our opinion, but at least we each got our dreamy balcony picture. Has my Romeo already arrived, though? After enjoying a fresh fruit salad at the market at Piazza delle Erbe, we walked alongside the river for a bit until the sky coloured pitch-black and it started to rain like crazy. We had to sprint back home, but the damage had already been done: all four of us were literally soaking wet when we arrived back in our apartment. We were all so tired and just in the mood to curl up on the couch with some comfy clothes that we ended up ordering Chinese take-away. I know, it’s an Italian horror story, but we’re not gonna lie that it felt kind of nice to eat something else for a change. Besides, our apartment is so damn cosy, we just couldn’t not enjoy a nice night inside. It all made us want to start studying and have our own student dorm so badly!

On Sunday, we slept in a little before having a nice Easter breakfast. It felt weird not to celebrate Easter with our family, even though it’s normally not that special of a holiday anyway. Still, at that moment, I just wished I could be enjoying my family’s Easter brunch. Afterwards, we visited the Giardino Giusti, which was absolutely beautiful. It was so calm and peaceful, and the top of the garden granted an incredible view over Verona. It all left us speechless!

In the afternoon, we walked around Castelvecchio before enjoying the sun alongside the river. We spent some time coming up with background stories for the kids who were lazily trying to let the pebbles bounce on and over the water surface, enjoying the serenity of it all. On the way home, we walked past a book store and decided to buy ourselves some children’s books in Italian to start reading. I opted for stories I knew all too well in my mother tongue, such as Peter Pan and Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. The nostalgia is real! In the evening, we had dinner somewhere at Piazza delle Erbe to enjoy our last evening in Verona. Cheers!

On Easter Monday, we took our train back to Rome around noon, so we were back in the city around the late afternoon. Although we were all really happy we’d spent the busy Easter weekend outside the city, we were happy to be back. As nice as Verona is, it’s nothing compared to Rome!

On Wednesday, I had an admission interview for University College Maastricht. I had prepared it well-enough, so I wasn’t all too nervous. I suddenly felt so grown-up having to go through all these things all by myself, though! Anyway, I have a good feeling about the interview so fingers crossed! On Thursday evening, I went to a jazz bar in Trastevere called Lettere Caffè, where each night a local jazz group hosts a small set before the actual jazz jam session starts. I love jazz, but I had never been to such a thing before, so I was completely amazed by the atmosphere and the beauty of the music. Nothing better than enjoying damn good music in the company of damn good friends. To more nights like these!

On Friday morning, I joined an EF activity to Gelataria del Freddo Giovanni Fassi, one of the oldest and biggest gelatarie of Rome. We could take a little peek inside the kitchen where the actual ice cream magic happened as they explained us the whole process of making artisanal ice cream. Afterwards, we could all choose a cup of ice cream with three flavours. I like to call myself an ice cream expert, so trust me when I tell you guys it was one of the most delicious and flavourful ice creams I ever had.

On the way back to school, our teacher Elisabetta got a message from one of the people that work at Fassi that someone had left their IPhone on a table. Panicking, we all checked our pockets and handbags, and I ended up being the one who had been clumsy enough to forget my phone. An ice cream brain freeze, I guess? I ran back all the way to the gelataria, where they handed me my phone back with a big grin. Yes, not my smartest move, I know. Yet I can’t help but think someone is guarding over me, ‘cause I always end up being lucky enough to find either my phone or wallet again. In the evening, we went out for dinner to celebrate Rodolfo’s (Rodolfiiiito) last evening in Rome. I wasn’t planning on going out afterwards, but a few drinks later and I ended up having one of the nicest nights!

On Saturday, I slept in before kicking a hangover work-out and having lunch with Andrea close to our house.

In the afternoon, I met up with Thomas to go to Villa Ada, a park a little further away from the usual city centre, but definitely worth the visit. It was packed with locals enjoying their Sunday afternoon, yet felt a lot quieter than the always-busy Villa Borghese. We spent the afternoon reading, gossiping and people-watching. Productive enough, right?

In the evening, our hostdad Vincenzo taught Andrea and me to make our own ricotta cheese. So easy, and so damn good!

On Sunday, it was time for another day of picnicking and tanning at the beach. This time, we hit Santa Marinella, which is a billion times more relaxed and cleaner than Ostia. I’m seriously so happy I can still go to the beach from time to time now, otherwise the Sydney withdrawal symptoms would be oh so real.

On Monday, the Easter break was officially over and the school was completely packed again. Plus, a lot of new students arrived as well, so let’s just say things got a little bit chaotic. Because there’s also a tiny lack of teachers for the amount of students EF Rome is currently hosting, they combined my B1 class with the B2 class until they will have found an adequate solution. So, as it was the first day after Easter break for a lot of us, our teacher took us on an outside activity all morning. We had to spot some clues all over Piazza Navona and the Campo Marzio area, and afterwards she told us a lot of fun and interesting facts about the buildings and statues we’d never had known otherwise! School’s hard, you guys. After class; Valentina, Thomas and I went to La Feltrinelli to start some sort of small book club. Each week, we’d get together and pick a book for us to read before the next meeting. At each meeting we’d start with discussing the previous book before choosing the next one and starting to read the first chapters out loud. A really good exercise to practice speaking and reading comprehension, and it’s a nice thing to do with friends!

On Tuesday, we had a day off as it was La Festa Della Liberazione D’Italia. Everyone, and by everyone I mean literally everyone, was gonna go to the beach again to have a day of fun and picnicking. Even my host parents were doing something. Somehow, I woke up in the worst mood. I wasn’t up to do anything, let alone do something so social and busy. I felt like I really needed a day to myself. And so; I slept in, had a nice work out and ate breakfast in all quietness and prepared for an essay assignment I would have to take on Wednesday morning for the Hotelschool of Maastricht. In the afternoon, I took my beach towel and my book with me, and walked all the way up to the Gianicolo Hill to sit back and relax in the sun while reading and enjoying the magnificent view over the city. It felt so peaceful to just enjoy sometime being all alone, not having to talk to anyone. This was exactly what I needed to get out of the rut I felt like I was stuck in!

On Wednesday evening, we all went out together in a club in Testaccio, a part of Rome we don’t frequent so often. We tried to change things up a little instead of always going to the same places! I was initially planning on only joining for some drinks – I was even wearing a simple pair of jeans and my oversized knitted sweater – but I ended up joining to the club as well. All in all, I had a really crazy and fun night. You always have the most fun when you least expect it!

On Thursday evening; Valentina, Thomas and I went to The Space Cinema Moderno to watch “Famiglia all’improvviso”, the latest film with Omar Sy. It was honestly one of the nicest films I’d ever seen in a while, but maybe that’s also due to the fact that I was so happy I had not a single difficulty with watching it in Italian without subtitles! And maybe also because I literally had popcorn for dinner.

On Friday, I woke up wishing I could already press forward to the evening, because that’s when Laurine would arrive to spend my birthday weekend with me! I had been waiting for her visit for weeks and weeks now, and I couldn’t believe I’d finally see her again. It was so nice to find her waiting for me when I arrived in the bed and breakfast at night, and to be able to hug her again! I immediately started talking about everything and nothing, about all the things that had been going on here. Of course, she already knew half of those things I had been telling her, as I usually talk to her on the phone weekly. However, I just wanted to enjoy the moment I had to be actually really talking to her. Just two sisters, giggling and sleeping in the same room together, just like when we were young.

On Saturday morning, we started the day early. We had a quick, Italian-style breakfast before hitting the city. And boy, what a day it was! When I think about it, I have no clue how we ever managed to walk so much and so much in one single day. We started with the Museo Dell’Ara Pacis, where my inner Latin enthusiast marvelled at the sight of this beautiful altar dedicated to the goddess Pax and offered to Emperor Augustus. In my fifth year of high school, I’d also done a whole essay about several architectural pieces in Rome which were built in favour of Emperor Augustus, so I was pretty excited I could finally see it in real life.

Afterwards, we walked up the Spanish Steps and visited the neighbouring Chiesa della Trinità dei Monti, where we lit a candle for Oma and Opa, our grandparents who both have passed away. Then, we obviously couldn’t restrain ourselves to do some shopping alongside Via Borgogna and Via del Corso. Girls will be girls! Before lunch; we walked inside the Pantheon, past the Tempio di Adriano and around the Fontana di Trevi before finally ending for a break at Piazza Navona where we enjoyed a well-deserved lunch at the beautiful Vivi Bistrot. It’s an all organic restaurant that serves the yummiest dishes!

Even though I had seen all these places I had guided her through so many times, I never got bored of seeing the ‘same’ city over and over again. Even I discover new things every day, and I notice how I know much more about the city with each passing day. Maybe I could become a tour guide one day, who knows? After lunch, we bought some strawberries for dessert and ate them overlooking Largo di Torre Argentina, the forum where Caesar supposedly got murdered and is now also known as the ‘Cat Forum’, as a lot of cats seem to always hang around the area. Afterwards, we walked around Palazzo Venezia all the way along the Fori Imperiali to end up at the Colosseo. As I personally find it more impressive on the outside than on the inside, we decided to not waist our time and wait in line to get in. We continued our tour to Piazza del Campidoglio, where I showed her some secret spots from where you can marvel at the Foro Romano from above. Afterwards, we took a break on the rooftop terrace of the Musei Capitolini and snacked on freshly-cut melon and ice coffee. Surprisingly, we still had the energy to walk towards the Circo Massimo and to smell the roses in the beautiful Roseto Comunale di Roma. Last but not least, we enjoyed the view over Rome from the Giardino degli Aranci before peeking through the famous keyhole of the Buco della Serratura Priorato dei Cavalieri di Malta, where you have a special view on the Saint Peter’s dome. So, if you wanna see the best parts of Rome in a single day, call me!

In the evening, we enjoyed a really nice and relaxing dinner at Il Margutta RistorArte, that fancy vegetarian place I had already been to once. Cheers to Rome!

On Sunday, we planned on visiting the Vatican. Apparently, there was some sort of catholic gathering going on, so the entire Piazza San Pietro was closed off and we couldn’t get inside the San Pietro either. On the plus side, we did see the Pope cruise around in his Pope Mobile and we heard a tiny part of his speech! Afterwards, I thought we could probably get in the Vatican Gardens for free to walk around for a bit, but they were closed off to the public for some unknown reason. Besides, you can apparently only visit them if you have a ticket for the Vatican Museums as well, but the line to get in there was so mind-bogglingly long we didn’t even bother trying.

Instead, we walked back to the city centre to stroll around the Campo de’ Fiori morning market and have a nice lunch at Ginger, a healthy salad and panino place we usually go to during lunch breaks at school. Afterwards, we walked towards Piazza del Popolo, from where we went to visit the Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Moderna. The building itself is so impressive, and the art collection as well! Towards the late afternoon, we strolled around Villa Borghese before treating ourselves to a few scoops of the real gelato artiginale.

In the evening, on the eve of my 19th birthday, we had an apéritivo at Freni e Frizioni, a bar that used to be an old garage and is known for its buffet with all kinds of yummy, atypical Italian food from 19:00 to 22:00. We ordered an Apérol Spritz and joined the many people sitting outside with a drink in one hand and a tiny plastic plate full of food on their laps. For dinner, we went to Tonnarello, a restaurant in Trastevere that’s already been in Rome since 1876. We had to wait outside for a bit before we could get a table for two, but we did get tiny glasses of prosecco to keep ourselves busy. The food was divine, and served in cosy-looking old school pots and pans. Tonnarello’s motto? “Le persone che amano mangiare sono sempre le migliori.” We couldn’t agree more!

After these two really intense days, both of us were so exhausted. So, we decided to go back to our bed and breakfast and fall asleep before midnight instead of staying up to see the date shift from the 30th of April to the 1st of May. One more night of being 18 for me then at least!

On Monday, I woke up, well, as a 19-year-old young adult. How crazy! It’s actually the first time I ever feel genuinely different, so it was the first time I could actually come up with a reasonable reply to the typical question “And, how does it feel to be one year older?” Because wow, it has been a year of a lifetime... I opened up my presents and cards in bed before we went out to enjoy a long breakfast at Ginger. We all know breakfast is my favourite meal of the day, so you might as well do it right! Afterwards, we returned to the Vatican again so that Laurine could at least see the Piazza San Pietro from up close. As we had already done most of the visiting (I mean, all the visiting) on Friday, today was all about relaxing and enjoying our last day together. I had the idea to go picnic on top of the Monte Mario, Rome’s highest hill, around the afternoon. A lot of people had told me it’s really nice there. Unfortunately, due to it being a national holiday in Italy, the public transport network wasn’t running very smoothly and to get there by foot, it takes quite some effort. Besides, the neighbourhood around it is quite sketchy. We both got a little frustrated at the situation and thus at each other, as we were walking around a busy road with no nice place to sit for a long time and it didn’t seem like we were gonna reach the hill anytime soon. It’s a shame I hadn’t looked it up better and that we had lost some precious time together. We decided to turn back and catch the first bus that would bring us to Villa Borghese, where we enjoyed the rest of our afternoon. We had a really fun time watching all the people and families around us, and coming up with background stories for each and every one of them. It even made us a little nostalgic!

Around 4 o’clock, we enjoyed one last drink together at a bar around Piazza del Popolo. While drinking highly-overpriced gin and tonics, I suddenly started tearing up. It felt so weird that I had to be here in Rome on my birthday, and I just wished I could be able to spend it with my friends and family at home. Although I have so many nice people around me here as well, it never ever could feel the same. But hey, I know I’ll see them all again very, very soon!

At 6 o’clock, Laurine took the taxi back to the airport, and so I was alone again. Somehow, the reunion had been less intense than the one in Sydney; because we had such an easier time keeping in touch while I was here in Rome, and maybe also because we had already learned from the previous experience of me being away for a long time. But that didn’t mean the farewell wasn’t just as hard!

On Wednesday evening, I had dinner at Juul’s apartment together with two of his Italian friends. There’s nothing better sometimes than a good pasta pesto and a glass of wine! Talking in Italian with the two girls was still way out of my league, but at least I could understand everything they were saying. And trust me, they were talking at the speed of light! Juul and I also came up with the idea to write a short story together, as we both like writing and feel like it could be a good project to work on during out free time. I’m looking forward to it!

On Thursday, we had a SPIN class outside again. This time, we had to interview random Italian tourists and ask them about fashion. Nothing all too exciting, but I did positively surprise myself by how ease it was for me to address complete strangers. A year, hell, even 6 months ago, I would have never ever seen me doing it so comfortably. Every day, I discover new parts of myself I never thought I could ever recognise myself in. In the evening, I had my very last evening with my roommate Andrea and housemate Jemima. My parents were arriving tomorrow morning, and the girls were leaving this Saturday, so I’d have to say goodbye to them now. For me, it was especially hard to say goodbye to Andrea. She has been with me ever since I arrived here in Rome, so without her it’s not gonna feel the same to live in the house!

On Friday, I woke up extra early to work out (I had forgotten how nice it is to work out in the morning) before heading over to the hotel where my parents were waiting for me. Loaded with an extra suitcase full of winter clothes I’d send back home with them, my tiny suitcase for the weekend and a handbag, I huffed and puffed my way through the city. Although Italians are generally nice and helpful, in a touristic city like Rome you hardly find anyone who’s willing to give you a hand. I often have moments where I miss Sydney terribly, and moments like these definitely remind me of the many things I loved about that city. The friendliness, the surf, the sweet potato fries and avocado toasts; oh how I feel ‘homesick’ sometimes! I arrived at the hotel when my parents just had finished breakfast, talk about perfect time. I felt like their little girl again when the both of them hugged me really tightly the second I entered the room. It had been since September that it hadn’t been ‘just the three of us’, so we were all looking forward to this weekend together. I surprised my mom with a leather jacket she really wanted, and she had brought some Belgian Easter chocolate with her! After a quick catch up; we started the day by visiting the Pantheon and Fontana di Trevi, where we of course threw a little coin over our left shoulder. Afterwards, we walked passed Via Del Corso, where we did some shopping in a store both my mom and me really love. You gotta give dad some credit for his patience. When we were done, we walked around Piazza di Spagna and along the small pavestone streets until it was time to lunch at Vivi Bistrot. We finished off our lunch with a creamy cappuccino before walking up the Spanish Steps and all the way over to Villa Borghese. We walked around the park for a while, which was surprisingly quiet for a Friday, before enjoying the view over Piazza del Popolo on the Passagiata del Pincio. Around the late afternoon, we enjoyed an ice cream while walking back to the hotel. We got ready, because around 6’o clock, we walked over the Ponte Sant’Angelo and to the Vatican. The sun was already turning a little paler, so the Piazza San Pietro was covered in a beautiful kind of glow. At 19:00, we entered the Musei Vaticani, which is only open at night on Fridays during spring. I have no words to describe how beautiful it is to walk around the few parts of the garden while the sun is slowing setting and radiating its golden light over the dome of the San Pietro. The museums itself are also breathtakingly impressive. I have never ever seen such an incredible art collection in such a majestic building! In the Capella Sistina, I could have easily been banned from ever entering the Vatican again, as I started taking a few pictures of the ceiling even though you’re strictly not allowed. Woops, my bad.

Afterwards, we headed to Trastevere to have dinner at Tonnarello. I couldn’t not take my parents to this awesome place. The end of a very lovely day!

On Saturday, we started off a rich breakfast at Coromandel, a cool place close to Piazza Navona that kind of looks like you’ve walked in into your grandmother’s house. At 10 o’clock, we had booked a bike tour that would guide us all the way through and along the Via Appia Antica, one of Rome’s most important ancient roads that led all the way to Brindisi, in the south of Italy. It might ring a bell for some of you who’ve watched Spartacus (or just have a kick-ass history knowledge), because it’s also the road where in 71 BC, 6000 slaves were crucified along the part of the road that led to Capua. In the beginning of the day, the weather wasn’t really that good. It was really humid and we often got a little rain shower. Besides, I had been feeling a little under the weather myself lately, so the biking was harder than expected. But, all along the Via Appia Antica, you come across impressive and very well-preserved remnants of old, old Rome; such as the baths of Caracalla, ancient catacombs and mausoleums. Plus, the area around the Via Appia Antica is absolutely stunning. Giant pine trees are perfectly lined up on both sides of the road, accompanied by beautiful fields filled with poppies. Around noon, the weather finally cleared up completely and we enjoyed the rest of the day biking with the sun on our face and the wind in our hair. Special thanks to our tour guide from Roma for You, by the way!

In the evening, we strolled around Via Margutta, a street known for its many art galleries and exposés. Unfortunately, this time the artists weren’t displaying their artworks, so it was unusually quiet. We found some time to pop by the Trollbeads store, a brand known for being the first to start making bracelets you could personalise with several little charms, where I bought a special edition charm dedicated to Rome: a tiny, silver Colosseum! This way, I’ll always have a little part of Rome close to me. And thanks to a friend in Australia, I’m soon getting a special edition charm dedicated to Sydney as well, representing the Sydney Opera House and the Harbour Bridge! Afterwards, we had a delicious cocktail and apéro at a trendy bar called Salotto 42, which literally means ‘living room’. It did have a really cosy atmosphere! We snacked on homemade sushi (it has been ages!), mini foccacie and bruschette; before going to a restaurant close to the Pantheon, but well-hidden on a tiny square, called Osteria Delle Coppelle. We scored a table outside, close to the heating lamp, and enjoyed a delightful meal. For me, personally, this has been one of the best restaurants in Rome I’ve been to! We enjoyed the special flavours of gelato at Gelateria di San Crispino for dessert, the sweetest and best way to end the day!

On Sunday morning, we had breakfast at Vivi Bistrot. Who can’t say no to a gluten free carrot cake, fruit salad and a cappuccino for breakfast?

Afterwards, we walked around Piazza Navona and the impressive church of Sant’Agnese in Agone. We made our way to Piazza Venezia and Piazza Campodoglio, where we marvelled over the views of ancient Rome before enjoying the smell of roses at the Roseto Comunale. As we didn’t have enough time to visit the Giardino degli Aranci nor the Keyhole, we immediately went to the Colosseum instead. Even though it’s probably Rome’s most touristic place, it’s definitely always gonna be one of the most impressive as well. We headed to Monti for our last lunch together. I had read about a nice panino place, where they make original sandwiches in the shape of a flower, called Zia Rosetta. And the best part? They also make them gluten free! Sadly, it’s more of a grab and go kind of place, so we couldn’t sit there and relax comfortably. We decided to just go for a traditional trattoria, where my mom could finally have a real Italian pizza and my dad enjoyed a good plate of pasta. I, on the other hand, had to settle for a caprese salad, which wouldn’t be enough judging by the fact that I was so incredibly hungry. And knowing that I couldn’t eat the bread that comes along with it, literally made me cry. I’m not kidding. I actually started crying because I miss eating bread, because I’m so tired of having a gluten allergy while being in Italy – the land of the holy carbs – and that I don’t get why people who voluntarily stop eating gluten because they think it’s healthy and cool. Okay, in all honesty, I also started crying because I was gonna miss my parents like crazy. It’s just easier to blame the damn gluten. Eventually, my dad came with the idea for me to just go grab one of those sandwiches at Zia Rosetta while we would wait for out food, and I seriously think that sandwich may have been the best thing that has happened to me so far in 2017. Thank God for carbs!

Before heading back to the hotel, where a taxi would pick my parents up at 4 o’clock, we had one last ice cream together. An ice cream a day… When I came back home, I was all alone. It was so weird knowing that I would have no housemates for the rest of the week! Plus, the clothes I had left out to dry over the weekend were lying on my bed, still moist and smelling like cigarettes. Safe to say I had one of those “God, I wish I was home” moments.

Monday and Tuesday were just regular school days. The weather here is getting warmer and warmed each day. I love how it just feels like summer in the beginning of May! On Tuesday afternoon, we had our second book club meeting at La Feltrinelli, where we ended up discussing our previous book for the entire afternoon instead of choosing a next one to read. Oh well, the conversation was really, really interesting. It’s nice to have such good friends with whom you can be ridiculous yet also serious with when you feel like it. In the evening, we went out for drinks to celebrate the last night of one of our friends. You always realise how much value someone adds to a group when you come to the day they’re gonna go back to their own life. It’s a funny thing, this EF bubble.

On Wednesday and Thursday, we had two Global Career Days at school. It meant we had class from 9:30 until 16:30, with lectures from Italian professionals and workshops with our own teachers in between. Although the days were long, they were really interesting and flew by in no time! One quote I heard during one of the lectures, was the following: “Italia, la terra dove crescono i limone.” The whole poetic sound and the feeling this sentence evokes, couldn’t be more accurate. I think it’s the best and most sentimental way to describe Italy. We also had longer lunch breaks, so we could enjoy our afternoons much more.

The past 2 weeks, I’ve been having some strange and tense pains in my right foot again. I’m hoping it’s not a tendinitis again, like the one I had in my last week in Sydney. I’m trying to cut back on working out and walking, but I get so restless if I don’t do any sports. I’ve also struggled more and more with the feeling that I’m just so tired of everything here. I feel like my time to go back home has come, and I’m constantly counting the days. Let’s just hope all of this negativity blows over quickly…

On Friday evening, I met up with Juul again to go out for dinner at Mama Eat, that one place with really good gluten free pizza’s. We discussed the plot and characters of our upcoming story, but we also talked about life in general. I lately had been feeling the need to talk about a few things with a really good friends, and this night was just the perfect one for it!

On Saturday, we all fled the warmth and humidity of the city centre by going to Santa Marinella. It was the first time since Sydney that I actually swam in the sea, and boy did it feel good! I’m just as much a city gal as I am a beach bum.

On Sunday, I was planning on going to the beach again, but I got quite sunburnt on my back, so I decided to sit this one out. So, Thomas and I had lunch at the Vivi Bistrot restaurant in Villa Doria Pamphilj. Afterwards, we found ourselves a nice bench under the shadow of some trees and each enjoyed the afternoon writing. I was updating my travel journal and he was writing cards to his relatives. A relaxing day in one of the most beautiful places in Rome!

In the evening, I finally met my new roommate, a really sweet girl from Austria. I had a really nice week with my host parents, being just the three of us, but I was happy I finally had someone with me again.

On Monday, we finally started with a SPIN course that’s bound to prepare us for taking the CILS exam. It’s kind of like the Cambridge for the Italian language, so it’s pretty serious. I’m not taking the exam here, as I only wanna pass it at a higher level than B1-B2, but I was allowed to join the preparation course anyway. After the first class, my brain was going to explode. It’s pretty hard stuff! I’m also receiving the exercise and preparation for someone who would take it at a C1 level, even though I’m only in B1. But I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself that it’s going kind of well.

Because we were all so tired after such an intensive lessen, our book club meeting ending up in us trying to read and understand the book we had chosen, but completely failing. Enough Italian for one day!

In the evening, we went out for drinks at Freni and Frizioni for Emma’s birthday. The temperature was still so nice, we even ended up buying our own alcohol and sitting alongside the Tevere at the Isola Tibertina. Once again, another amazing night, mainly because I keep on getting to know people in a much more different way!

On Tuesday, I did nothing more than go to class and relax at home. I was still a little tired from going out, and I wanted to prepare for my admission interview at Hotelschool Maastricht I would have the day after. Fingers crossed!

Before dinner, I did my daily work out outside on the square close to my house. At some point, a few of the toddlers that were playing around there, were starting to work out with me! I couldn’t stop smiling, that seriously was the cutest thing I had ever seen! Maybe it’s a good idea to start my own aerobics class, no?

Today, I woke up extra early to have a nice and calm morning run before I had my interview for Hotelschool Maastricht. All in all, it went really well, so let’s hope I get it! I’m really excited to finally start studying now, so I can’t wait to hear the news in a few days. But that’s not the only thing that makes today special. Froukje, my famous roommate in Sydney, is arriving in Rome this afternoon. I’m finally go see her again! And tomorrow, Chantal, another really good friend is arriving as well. I’m so looking forward to a weekend with my Dutchies. On Saturday and Sunday, Chantal and I are even going to visit Venice together with Reina and Thomas. Safe to say I’m feeling completely energised again to make the most out of my last weeks in Rome!

A presto!

With love,

Marie

#rome

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gapimnydiaries · 8 years

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Diary Entry #12

Dear Diary,

Looking back, I am grateful that my life has been relatively peaceful, and there has not been much I can complain about, which is also how other people perceive me as: carefree and fearless. I had a great childhood with two loving parents in China; I was doing well in middle school and high school, academically and socially; my parents were able to support me to come to the U.S. to go to college. However, what I don’t share with a lot of people is that there are currents under the seemingly peaceful sea that is my life, and the strongest one out there has always been social anxiety.

In 2011, I moved from China to Ohio for college at Ohio State, and I was excited to start this new chapter of my life. Even though I knew that I had to step out of my comfort zone in order to get the full American college experience, I was confident in my adaptability because I had always been eager to learn new things and to meet new people. What I did not know was how hard the social anxiety would strike me for the first time.

Are you familiar with that feeling when you show up to a bar alone without knowing anyone and you feel so out of place and it feels like everyone is watching you and laughing at you for being alone? Yeah, that was how I felt a lot of the times during my first week in the U.S. I didn’t know anyone in my dorm, and I didn’t know anyone in my classes, and my three roommates went to the same high school and all they did every day was play video games together. For that whole week, all I did was FaceTime my parents and talk to one of my best friends from high school, and I felt incredibly homesick. It also hurt my pride because I thought I could do better, and I did not feel like l was taking in charge of my life the way I wanted to.

I have always been an ambitious person, so after the week, I wanted to do something different about the situation. One of my favorite quotes of all time is by Benjamin Mee: “Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage, just literally 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come out of it.”

In coincidence, I saw one of the welcome week brochures in my dorm that outlined all the welcome week events that my school planned out for students, and I noticed there was this cookout for Phi Gamma Delta. I was like: ”What is Phi Gamma Delta?” So I looked it up and found out it was a fraternity. Because I was always curious about Greek life since we don’t have that in China, I decided to go to that cookout by myself. I never felt more anxious in my life than how I felt on my way to the fraternity house because I did not know what to expect. “Are they going to laugh at me because I just show up to the fraternity house without anyone and without knowing anyone from the fraternity? Are they going to laugh at my English? What should I talk about? I don’t know anything about football, politics, or whatever college students talk about nowadays.”

So many thoughts went through my mind, and suddenly I arrived at the fraternity house. There were so many people chatting and mingling at the front door, but I found those 20 seconds of insane courage, and I took a deep breath and walked in.

Thank god there was someone greeting at the door, so I started talking to this guy Shawn, who was a senior at the time. I still can’t believe it even now, but after Shawn found out I was from China, he told me that he just came back to the U.S. from studying abroad in China, and we talked about his experience in China and we compared China to the U.S. in many ways, and we chatted for an hour without talking a little bit about things I wasn’t familiar with.

After that, he introduced me to more people in the fraternity, and I already felt a lot more comfortable with socializing after talking to Shawn, so I was able to truly get to know more people and know more about what a fraternity was. I ended up joining that fraternity, and I tasted the joy of tackling social anxiety for the first time.

Now looking back, I can’t thank those 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery enough, not only because they liberated me from the social anxiety that seemed to be daunting me as a shy and overwhelmed freshman but also because they opened my mind and made me realized that I could succeed if I tried.

After I joined the fraternity, I realized that I was the first Asian pledge they ever recruited. Lol. My fraternity was rechartered in 1995, so there hadn’t been that many pledge classes yet, and it was Ohio State where students were mainly Caucasian, so it was not that big of a shock to me, but it may still seem crazy for some of my friends who are from the east coast or the west coast.

Shortly, my fight against social anxiety started again when I realized that there was so much in the U.S. college culture that I had yet to learn, which made me overwhelmed and anxious all the time. I learned about all different kinds of liquor and what different mixed drinks were made of because I definitely started my messy drinking career from joining a fraternity; Ohio State was a big public school with outstanding athletic programs, and my fraternity was known on campus for being involved in extracurricular activities, so I learned about how to bond with other brothers over sports and other organizations that we were involved in.

I think the one thing that gave me the most anxiety was the expectation that as a fraternity guy, I had to develop relationships with different sororities and represented our fraternity to be “cool.” I was “straight” at the time, so I had to learn about how to initiate conversations with sorority girls at different social events or in the classrooms. I still remember the first ever social event I went to where I was so shy that I just talked to my pledge brothers all night without talking to any girls. I was worried because I was the only Asian guy at the party, and I felt like American girls always would prefer the jocky Caucasian guys, and I was afraid of rejection.

Again, after the anxiety from the first social event slowly died down, the ambitious Neil at the time started thinking about how to change the situation. Then we had another social event the week after, and those 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery came to rescue me again at the party when I took a deep breath and approached a group of 2 girls standing by themselves at the venue and asked them if they were having fun and if they wanted to take a shot together. Surprisingly, they were very happy to go take a shot with me, and then they asked if I wanted to play beer pong, and I was like yeah of course, but in my head I was screaming: “What is happening? I am actually doing this wow.”

After that one social event, I started to become more and more comfortable with initiating conversations with strangers where I could try to find something in common and then turn strangers into friends. Some of my best friendships nowadays started from a shot of fireball or tequila, and of course, from my 20 seconds of insane bravery that one time.

Then, time flew by, and suddenly I finished my junior year and moved to NYC during the summer of 2014 for an internship. That was a summer to remember because I explored with my sexuality for the first time in a city where I did not know anyone. After I moved to the U.S. and started college, I met all sorts of people, including some of my best friends who were already gay when I met them who made me think about my sexuality more and more, in a way that I never did when I was in China.

When I was in NYC, I downloaded Tinder, and started going on dates with people. Mainly I just wanted to meet different people and hear about their experiences, but I also did some experiments as well, which helped me confirm that girls might not be my thing (Sorry to all the girls whose hearts I broke after that. Lol jk).

After I finished my internship, I went back to Ohio, and I thought it was the right time for me to come out to my friends. I made a list of my best friends that I wanted to come out to in person, but as the list went longer and longer, more and more anxiety started to accumulate again in my heart because I was nervous that my friends would look at me differently and our friendships would change.

I still remember the first person I came out to was one of my best friends in my fraternity. It was a Thursday night of my senior year, so I went out with some of my friends to the bars. What are classes on Fridays anyways? I got pretty drunk at the end of the night, and as I was walking home from the bars, I suddenly had the urge to come out to my friend and I couldn’t resist it. So I called my friend at 1:30am at night, and he was studying for a final he was going to have the next day. With my 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery and a little help of alcohol, I told my friend about everything: about my summer in NYC, about Tinder, about all these guys I met and about my sexuality. I could tell he was shocked initially because there was a 5-second uncomfortable silence, but then I would never forget how happy he sounded on the phone after the silence and how supportive all the words were that came out of his mouth. I was reassured that my friends would always love me for being me, and sexuality is just one small part of Neil Wang, and true friends would never judge me for that.

The next day, I was hungover of course, but I felt like a new person because I didn’t have all that pressure on my shoulder, and I was actually more motivated to come out to my other friends on my list. Because I was living authentically, there was not a single regret in my senior year, and that was exactly how I wanted it to be.

I graduated from college in 2015, and then I moved to NYC for work. Just recently, I celebrated my first anniversary in the best city. The year of 2016 was full of challenges, which brought out a great deal of anxiety. Mostly, I am a proud gaysian, which means that now I have two sources of anxiety that I have to manage on a daily basis, at work and in my personal life. Luckily, I joined GAPIMNY (Gay Asian Pacific Islander Men of New York), and I realized that I was not alone, and so many people struggle with the same things that I do. I have met so many people that have provided me with tips/advice/guidance to help me navigate my way out of my anxiety, and I wanted to do the same and write this little entry for The Gaysian Diaries so that more people can know that they are not alone. If I have not said enough above, I will say the following things again here:

1. Sometimes all you need is just 20 seconds of embarrassing bravery, and you will be amazed by what things are in store for you in the future. 2. Love yourself, but don’t take yourself too seriously. 3. Life is too short, so do whatever makes you happy.

Thanks for reading my diary. Let me know if you would like to talk more about any of the things I talked about above and I can be your guy.

Neil Wang is the Social Chair of GAPIMNY. You can find him co-hosting Elixir, our signature happy hour for gay Asians in NYC, every 2nd and 4th Friday at Boxers HK from 7pm - 9pm.

#gay #asian #gaysian #queer #lgbtq

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glasscannonnetwork · 8 years

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Joe’s Curse: A Quick and Dirty Guide to Ruining Friendships Through GM’ing

A few weeks ago, while recording Cannon Fodder 30 with Troy, the seed of an idea was planted in my brain.

We were responding to a Listener Mail about the struggles of getting adults together to play RPGs, when we started talking about a large scale campaign; one where players and characters could breeze in and breeze out, but the campaign would always continue moving forward.

Long after Troy left I was turning this idea over and over in my head. Could it actually work? Would a listener try it? Was it absurd? For some reason, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. The seed had been planted and the roots were...taking root. (I bet Matthew wishes he thought of that line)

I was thinking about actually doing this.

In the month before my daughter’s birth, I finished running a 4 year campaign of Council of Thieves. Though I didn’t know it at the time, I also hosted my last Wrath of the Righteous session in person in my apartment (the first session we ever did that wasn’t on Roll20...and it was the best). Six months later, my daughter is still alive and I’ve got the itch to get back into the GM chair.

GM’ing is hard, make no mistake. If you’re doing it well you are mostly invisible. If you’re doing it poorly, every minor error triggers a blaring alarm that won’t be silenced until you’ve apologized profusely and promised to give Arkath the Passive Aggressive back his 2 hit points. I know many players that have never expressed interest in crossing the threshold...it’s not an enviable position. If a game is really good, you’d rather be a player in it. If its really bad, you imagine that GM’ing it would be misery. So why do we GM? Troy played in one good campaign with me, and then seemed to retire as a player and only GM. Why? Because he’s a control freak? YES. But I digress. That’s not what this article is about. This is about practicing what you preach. We’ve had no shortage of advice to give everyone about GM’ing...as if we’re so great. Well it’s time to put your money where your mouth is, O’Brien. Somewhat literally as it turns out.

I realized that I missed GM’ing and wanted to get back in the groove. For Christmas, I asked for the new Curse of the Crimson Throne Adventure Path hardcover book that Paizo released in October of 2016, and I got it...from my MOTHER-IN-LAW. Who the hell has a mother-in-law that buys them Adventure Paths? A guy that always rolls natty 20s...that’s who.

So, as I’m flipping though this gorgeous book I’m thinking, “Curse? Could it work for Curse? I mean...it’s in a large sprawling city. Maybe characters come in and out of the story in time with when players need to come in and out of the game.” Long story short...I decided to do it. So, here it is...my first post in what will hopefully be a series of posts about how this game goes. I guess I should start by explaining what I’m going to do.

The Game

The first thing I did was email my gaming groups: The players from Council that were left without a GM and hadn’t played in 6 months, the players from Wrath (a campaign that I was abandoning because I’m too weak to handle the Mythic and other rules that come into play in the AP), and of course the guys from the GCP. That made a total of 10 players...since some overlapped. Namely Skid. Skid is in every game I run or play and will be forevermore if I have anything to say about it. An AP for 10 players. Too ambitious? Maybe.

One thing that I’m doing to discourage overcrowding is charging for the game. This is the money part. In Manhattan, no one has a large enough room to fit a gaming table (at least no one I’ve ever met) and so I’ll be renting a rehearsal space and having the players chip in. On average, for one session per month, it’ll cost about $18 per person for a night of gaming. I thought that might thin the herd a little...nope...all 10 players eagerly agreed to try it out.

So the first thing that I’m doing is having a Session 0. I’m going to give a lecture on Korvosa and we’re going to make characters. 10 characters to be precise...knowing full well that there will never be more than 6 players in a session. So what happens to the other 4 players? That’s the risky part. Hopefully, like most games, it’ll be tough enough to get 6 players...let alone 10...and I don’t have to turn anyone away. But of course it will happen. I will have to send that tough email,”Sorry man, I know you can make it on Thursday, but we’re full...we’ll get you in next time.” Is it becoming clearer now? The title of this article? Yup...now you got it.

I’m close with these players, though, and I don’t expect too much drama...but you never know. RPGs make people crazy! You know this! I’m preparing for the worst.

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that we never have scheduling conflicts. That it’s easy to get 5 or 6 out of 10 and we never have more than that clamoring to get in. Great. We’re through the worst of it, right? Hm. Perhaps you’ve forgotten about the three most important things to any player: XP, Gold, and LOOT.

How will I do loot distribution? What happens to the +2 Mithral Chain Shirt that better suits the character that isn’t there that night, but is found by the CN wizard? Sell it for cash?? Or the Belt of Incredible Dexterity +2 that’s awarded to the player that doesn’t show up for 3 months and the party loses out on the benefits of that item? I’ve got a neat idea for this problem, but won’t reveal it until I see it in action.

What about experience? The players that show up for a session are rewarded with XP, of course, but the ones that aren’t able to make it fall behind? What if they fall WAY behind? How will they be effective? Honestly...I don’t know.

What about gold? What if you help to rescue the kidnapped girl in Session 5, but are not present in Session 6 when the party returns her to her noble father and is rewarded with 2,000gp? Are you cut out of the reward? And what’s worse, what if you CAN make the session as a player, but I tell you you’re out? Who’s got two thumbs and is ready to ruin some friendships?

The Future

I’d like to write about this game and keep you guys in the loop about whether it’s working or not. The struggles I come up against, or the things that worked out better than I thought. I’ll need to talk a little about the campaign, obviously, but would love to avoid spoilers for as long as I can. And if I get too busy with work or family, a lot of these stories may need to migrate over to Cannon Fodder since I’m recording that anyway. The point is this...I think we stumbled upon a neat idea in Cannon Fodder 30. I don’t know if it’s, as my cousin Michael would say, “crazy or genius.” It’s right on the line, but I can’t be sure until I actually throw myself into the ring and get ready for the Flurry of Blows.

The first step is tonight. That’s right. TONIGHT. Session 0 is happening in a matter of hours and I’m out of my mind excited. I’ve been preparing since 1:15pm CT on December 25th when I cracked the cover of Curse of the Crimson Throne. Let’s see what sort of hell I’ve unleashed upon myself.

If I don’t return...tell my story...

-Joe

#paizo #pathfinder #glasscannonpodcast #curse of the crimson throne

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grizzlefur · 7 years

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WWEm - Back Like a Recurrent UTI

In response to a comment from a reader, which is frankly one comment more than I ever thought I’d get, I’m dropping the interline punctuation. Be aware I may be switching to Comic Sans next week though.

Transmission date: Monday 5/Tuesday 6 June 2017.

Coming at you off the back of Medium-Strength Rules, this is THURSDAY AFTERNOON RAW!

so yeah, extreme rules was kind of crap like, i don't need it to be all barbed wire rope exploding table deathmatches, but that was honestly tamer than a lot of episodes of raw it's like waiting a fortnight for a jalfrezi and getting a shitty mushroom dopiaza or something (that's the subtitle of the dvd release, btw) (Extreme Rules 2017: The Shitty Mushroom Dopiaza of Wrestling) kkb took the belts, though, so that's good at least in any case, i should probably stop using this blog to bitch about ppvs that we're not watching and actually watch the show just kidding, it's my blog, i can do whatever the fuck i want NEXT UP: THE HIGHLY EFFECTIVE HABITS OF SUCCESSFUL LEAFCUTTER ANTS (2017, 7hrs 41mins) *daniel starts raw* dang ah well we'll get back to that particular gem we kick off with a dramatic slideshow of an entirely undramatic two-chilli rules main event if you haven't been keeping up with the results, joe won by stealing a pin opportunity and choking finn to death i have genuinely no clue how they're going to build a joe/brock feud without turning one of them, which would make no sense and be bullshit were the hardyz in the title sequence before? i am very unobservant, so it's possible jesus fuck, guys, you don't need to keep weaponising the pyro to see what i say we're back in the mohegan sun later, joe talks about life but now, here comes a bray to chop off your head or possibly declaim some eschatological craziness could be both who knows i'm wearing a SanItY shirt, i don't give a shit aww, apparently he's here to fight roman disappointing can he chop roman's head off? booker's still on announce, which is weird given that otunga was around to be on the pico de gallo rules preshow panel ok, bray's got a mic so at least we get some preaching before roman gets here apparently sunday was the beginning of the end, because bray will not be there to slay the beast because he was stabbed through the eye with his own sword of salvation but he's fine, because he's still a god (i'm not even paraphrasing) he's here to pass judgment on the guilty which includes basically everybody who isn't him he mentions roman, the arena roof levitates on the cloud of boos he's vowed to personally punish everyone, starting with roman now oh, and here he is personally, i would not enter a room with a man who had just levelled that particular bit of demagoguery at me but hey, i'm not roman reigns loving the guy on hardcam with the I CAME TO BOO ROMAN sign so did everyone else, it seems apocalyptic cult leader and self-proclaimed god vs big taciturn punch man which way is the heel/face divide even meant to go in this situation enormous boos, roman takes bray's mic, boos redouble apparently this kind of public hate is why roman is the guy sure, why not better than proclaiming yourself the BIG FIGHT man cannot tweet roman coldcocks bray, start the match bray nearly lands sister abigail within about six seconds that would have been fucking hilarious although it kind of feels like maybe bray should have a new finisher to fit this whole bringing judgment upon the guilty thing or maybe that's just my overly-narrative booking instincts who can say (that is definitely what it is) fuck off, daniel i'll rescind your fruit bowl privileges bray avoids a samoan drop through the incredibly advanced tactic of punching roman in the head repeatedly that's the kind of tactical nous you only get by anointing yourself with the burnt grave earth of your diabolic mistress as the saying goes did we really need to cut to that enormously wide shot where the camera's on the other side of a lighting rig several astronomical units away from the ring? like, we get that the mohegan sun's big no need to prove this at the expense of beign able to see shit if i wanted to watch insects wrestle while i shine a torch into one of my eyes, i could do that at home i'm going off on tangents a lot here because this match is slow as fuck roman is still creeped out to the point of a nearfall by bray's spiderwalk goes for a pin off an uranage, then takes roman to the top rope we could be here a while he does a few punches, roman headbutts him for longer than would seem necessary before turning it into a powerbomb roman cocks his hand, takes a couple tries to hit bray what happens if he cocks his hand and doesn't do anything with it? does he have to punch something to get rid of it before it goes off accidentally? or can he rack his forearm to eject a loaded fist? enquiring minds want to know anyway, while that muse was visiting me, bray heard roman going oooooooo and rolled out, took a driveby but punched roman's head off so it seems my earlier proposal was correct huh i can call murders better than matches bray goes for sister abigail, roman reverses into a superman punch and a really slow spear for the pin so yeah that happened meanwhile, someone in the crowd has leveraged all their crafting skills to make a sign informing us that BROCK LESNAR IS TICKLISH corey invents the adjective 'slaughterous' yeah, ok bray deserves new words end segment later on, we have joe doing a thing but next, we talk about the shitshow that was the 'extreme' women's title match "But can Bayley get EXTREEEEEME?" "No." but now, we have charly interviewing enzo and cass enzo's conscious, which is a change charly asks enzo about their match tonight with enzo and cass, he responds by creeping on charly and insulting corey's hair cass is insulted by the rumours that he was attacking his bro, promises to watch his back at all times and then they leave, and enzo returns to creep on charly alone good backwatching, colin what if charly was the mystery assailant it makes so much sense anyway, now we have a dull slideshow of the dull women's title match and photos of the one welt on bayley's back, which has made her take the night off somebody send jericho to talk to her in his curtain room/office, kurt is confused by his phone and here is alexa to present terms she wants a celebration of her entire life tonight because the this is your life segment went down so well outstanding kurt immediately comes back like fuck no that's an awful idea this is your life was dreadful and anyway you owe nia a title shot tonight alexa is none too pleased and slightly shellshocked but here's dean, aka 33% of the best bit of semi-notable rules and now, here's a very large man on a stool dressed entirely in scarves and fragments of scarves, with a song he wrote after seeing a leaf fall on the side of the highway

actual quote

it's a song about how dean sucks, basically

with a subtext about how elias deserves a title shot

dean's music interrupts it

it's an elias segment, so corey is SO ANGRY

dean does his hey dude hold on a second i just want to PUNCH thing

hits him until he goes away, and demands a title rematch but here's miz on the tron, like fuck no he's wearing a bow tie for the kickoff celebration of the ic title comeback tour and elias blindsides dean into his swinging neckbreaker and shouts at him, because sometimes you just gotta but up next, samoa joe the mohegan sun fans need something to cheer, or they're going to riot but first, dean storms backstage runs into kurt, asks for a ref in miz's dressing room kurt's like no, we've got a party planned and i'm scared of maryse, please go away no dean, don't go to miz's dressing room so kurt ejects him from the building it is just heel city so far oh hey, it's joe funny, that because the prevailing heel archetype at the moment is apparently 'large samoan man named joe' first shot of the match card graphics for great balls of fire, and it looks like shit if you're making a title graphic, maybe don't put a flashy effect around the word BALLS in the centre joe thinks brock ain't shit and wants to take everything he owns including his cushy non-wrestling schedule i think we all want brock's ability to draw a salary and have fans without doing shit joe also wants paul heyman, just for giggles oh hey, paul didn't see you there (largely because you were backstage and i don't have camera control) paul does his usual spiel, and still needs to check the definition of 'defending' does his usual thing of hi joe aren't you awesome can i come into your ring sir please don't hurt me but btw my client also thinks you yourself ain't shit does a soliloquy about worrying for a living, turns it into a jew joke sigh addresses the fact that brock/finn would have been a great story, while brock/joe is just going to be two large angry men trying to shoot kill each other paul does his usual great job of hyping both people in this match you're great, but my client's better paul shakes hands with joe, tries to leave, joe grabs him again and has an earnest face-to-face conversation he's so well-spoken he's like hey paul i understand you're just a legal representative but jsyk i'm about to choke the life out of you and this is exactly what it's going to feel like and then he does calm joe is the most intimidating joe refs get involved, but not until paul goes limp the crowd are unsure how to react to this assault joe shouts at the crowd some more, then leaves and we cut to ads on the sight of paul on the floor and we come back backstage, with kurt like THE FUCK DID YOU JUST DO at joe who's like i don't know would you like me to demonstrate loooooooom but here comes seth to shout at joe and intervene also he has a new merch vest to show off kurt's like hey this sounds like a good match this booking shit is easy joe sidles off with a dark look, end thing but now we have slater and rhyno facing the kkb with the former's entrance being helpfully played under the announce team talking earnestly about joe the announcers and graphics team need to decide whether they're sheamus and cesaro or cesaro and sheamus dramatic slideshow of the cage match, making it make even less sense lovely closeup of jeff's post-dive 'holy fuck why do i still do this to myself' face bell rings, instead of getting out of the ring, cesaro creates an novel distraction by running across the ring and sliding out in the opponents' corner while sheamus commences to beating the piss out of heath slater knocks them both down, goes for a hot tag, cesaro pulls rhyno off the apron, brogue for the pin so that was a thing i'll be honest, i just love seeing them with the belts and they get mic spots awesome sheamus is like hey guys look like we know how to do this wrestling thing who knew are you all happy the hardyz came back well then you're all twats you know who isn't happy they came back? the hardyz, who basically ain't shit they reiterate their claim to be the bar, cue music and celebration but here's tjp backstage runs into neville oh so coincidentally like congrats, but where the fuck is my title shot neville does his usual patience, young one thing, tjp will no longer take this shit neville is a man of his word, and he'll give tj his shot if he takes care of mustafa next cut for ads, and here's that match tj's straight in with the slightly excessive aggression, tries to crush ali's face across the corner with his foot and then a bunch of cool spots happen faster than i can type about them but that should go without saying, really thanks for slowing things down with that really long rest headlock, tj mustafa does his lovely top rope twist torndo ddt, tries for the inverted 450, tj reverses into a detonation kick for the pin again with the really short matches mustafa deserves better tj swaggers up the ring, neville's crazy pyro hits, he basically shits himself, it's hilarious he's like i'm sorry my apprentice, i talked to kurt but we can't have a match tonight i tried tj shouts at him, storms off, so he blindsides him and beats the shit out of him on the stage and then says he can have his shot tomorrow on 205 i say 'says', more 'northernly rants' cut for ads, and we come back with another shattered dreams production goldust's like excuse you did you steal my format and my chair it is ON motherfucker promises to bring the whole movie industry into his coming golden age how this will interact with bray's prophesied apocalypse is unclear but now, in the women's locker room, mickie and dana congratulate sasha on her dance moves alexa comes in, sasha nopes out of the room and alexa's like hey girls what do you think about nia cutting in line for the title what a bitch right dana and mickie are like lol no we'll be at ringside laughing at you announce spot, and kurt appears to call corey away for urgent business involving gesturing at his phone and looking annoyed i have no clue what all this is building to if there's been foreshadowing, i've missed it cole tries to ask him what that's all about, corey's like OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT kalisto's here he's lost the aggressively sculpted dragon mask, back to more of an nxt-era lucha dragons thing back in mexican colours and everything whatever happened to el local ...okay, i totally did not know he was ricardo rodriguez i wouldn't have known who that was back when i started watching nxt, to be fair thanks, internet huh anyway, back on the show, ...mike? ambushes kurt backstage to ask what the fuck's going on with those emails or w/e he uses slightly more professional language, because he's talking to his boss while i'm screaming semi-informed obscenities into the formless void of the internet kurt's like nope, anonymous dude, this is private and walks out of the arena and dean sneaks in the door just before it closes dean ambrose: back like a recurrent uti (his disappointing third album) and as we watch him come in, the revival just happen to be in the back of the shot caught it that time i pay attention sometimes but now it's kalisto/titus or actually titus knocking kaliso down and then shouting at apollo also tozawa is watching because titus wants him on the brand kalisto gets a rollup holding titus' trunks, apollo's like welp guess you asked for that one boss does some light motivational slapping, end segment but here are miz and maryse, even more dapper than usual and pan over to big cass, collapsed under a bunch of girders and shit enzo comes running in like whoa what happened way to stay together, guys cass presents enzo with a tacky chain that he presumably took off his attacker, enzo hugs his bro as we cut to ads and we come back on enzo being like okay well this is clearly a frame job and btw we have a match so can cass wrestle or what the answer is no but now we're back in the ring, with carpet and champagne and balloons and maryse and a guy in a teddy bear suit with a sign says CONGRATULATIONS who is totally not dean ambrose no sir but seriously, miz must fucking love balloons this ring is at imminent risk of lifting off and here is the man himself and a dramatic slideshow of the actually-great match complete with the nicest ref ever but yes, miz and maryse both look fucking great tonight just saying surprising number of you deserve it chants miz is immediately like fuck off you chant that for everyone just reminding us he's still a heel and all but yes, i do deserve it and here's a speech about how i'm redeeming the ic belt a toast to me "Ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass...or, if you're in this arena, a styrofoam cup..." delivered perfectly miz thanks maryse for all this stuff, mentions the bear, she's like um i thought you ordered the bear then who's flying the plane so miz attacks the bear on principle and finales him welp, that bear's dead dramatically unmasks him, revealing...some dude he's like ...um, well at least you had a brush with celebrity, get out of here *whips him out of the ring* and now here comes a big present down the ramp miz is like well isn't this nice what could this be grabs a chair, beats the shit out of the present while maryse shouts at him to stop and it's a very dead grandfather clock and a very sad maryse tells mike he ruined the party, throws the mic at him, storms off and we are left with a very dejected miz, blaming dean for all his problems and having a paranoid breakdown at the crowd and the steadicam guy who's been following miz throughout takes his headset and hat off and hits miz with dirty deeds lovely slow realisation as the camera feed went up on the tron dean swigs some champagne, takes the bottle and leaves okay, that was really well done but now, we see enzo wandering dejectedly backstage looking for a partner and now we see the family who have good seats because of pizza including the wonderfully-named Enzo Shirtz but yes gallows and anderson are in the ring and here comes enzo all on his onesie does his intro, but it's not the same without a large man gesticulating behind him does his 4G well-connected joke again get new material, dude but he's found himself a new seven-foot man it's a biiiiiig shooooooooow although it would have been amazing if it was braun big show stands in the middle of the ring like what is this tiny rodent enzo tries to give him a pep talk with some semi-coherent jokes mixed in show has progressed from 'bemused' to 'angered' this is the most awkward thing, and i could not do it justice without rubbing a buttered weasel on the keyboard and...now show is doing a joisey-accented monologue with an extended ice age reference before spelling it out for them? what the fuck is in this drink well, the match has started, so i guess the talking can stop bell rings, anderson kicks enzo's soul out of his body standard swift hot tag to show, who...does all the normal show stuff chokeslam to anderson, into badaboomshakalaka except in the form of show military pressing enzo and then just rhowing him straight at anderson well, that was a thing that happened? lasted about 90 seconds anyway next up, women's title match but here are zo and show backstage run into cass, who's like hey funny how show disappears for weeks and then he's back when you need a partner casts suspicion about show being the culprit, enzo wants to give him a ride, but cass takes him away and now let's have a terrible blaxploitation segment full of film references yup but now mike? interviews alexa in the curtain room he asks if she regrets giving nia this shot, she's like i regret this show fuck off faceless dude and back to the arena, here's nia

cut to ads, and...now a weird bit where every version of this i can find appears to have overwritten the entire women's match with the elias segment from earlier the fuck, internet apparently it was pretty much what you might have thought - nia stomped all over alexa, dana and mickie pointed and laughed, and then alexa went and started a fight with those two for a dq win i would have liked to watch that, but guess that's not happening back to the actual show just in time for a graphic for the cruiserweight title match thank fuck i didn't miss that and apparently brock will be here next week i repeat, the champion will be on the show he supposedly leads novel idea so yes, here's everyone's favourite towel-sporting middle-aged-man-strangler and also seth, who didn't try to murder a doughy guy in a suit today bell rings, joe just gets down to punching seth's face in before even taking off his towel seth goes for a suicide dive, joe roundhouse kicks him as he comes out of the ropes, because he is way more flexible than he really should be this match is 10% seth doing cool cruiserweighty shit and 90% joe's hundred flavours of NOPE seth does a sling blade into a suicide dive, and it actually works this time and into a blockbuster because why stop at one signature and as i type that, there goes another suicide dive and then into a falcon arrow, as seth goes fuck you i can do strength spots seth goes up to the top rope, wyatt cut because fuck you lights go back up, seth looks around for a bray who is very much not here, joe blindsides him and coquina clutch until death and we fade on seth bleeding, joe strutting, WOMP WOMPing, and an entirely unnecessary reminder that brock'll be here next week do you have to ruin everything, wwe (don't answer that) smackdown will probably follow tomorrow, after i've gone and been an instrument of democracy but in the meantime, let me tell you about these ants -------------------- And if you enjoyed that, we hope you'll be back next week for our seminar on Following Pheromone Trails In An Increasingly Odoriferous World. right, now that that's done, it's probably time for some FRIDAY AFTERNOON SMACKDOWN! (i apologise in advance for any political jokes that slip through) (it's been a tough few days) and we open on a dramatic retelling of the women's five-way last week so yeah, women's mitb is probably going to be the big story this week i've had some of this show spoiled, but i honestly can't remember what, so that's sorted itself out and we're back in the present, and here come the shaney and also the five contenders are in the ring already and one of them's brought their creeper charlotte is looking ridiculously overdressed in her black sequin robe seven words in, shane gets a cheap pop in shane starts introducing them all, calls tamina "a two-time superstar" the fuck does that even mean the crowd love charlotte, but they love becky more apparently we're having a six-woman tag match later because why not have the entire division in the ring *again* drumroll as shane reveals the case it's basically the same, except silver and with some extra detailing on the logo no pink, thank fuck shane has a monologue about how dangerous the mitb match is, like he totally does with the men claims whoever has won this in the past has become champion somewhere, damien sandow is crying ellsworth calls shane out for mansplaining the mitb match, carmella gets a monologue until charlotte shouts her down leans on the genetic superiority thing, offers the other four a chance at brushing against greatness somehow a face? nattie calls her out for ripping off her father, proceeds to do the same to her uncle becky calls her on this, promises to rip off everybody's arms should be worth watching tamina gets to say words, which is novel but here comes naomi gets to do her whole entrance, because fuck this argument i'm the champ hypes the match like dang i wish i was allowed to be in this INTERRUPTING TRASH SAX lana is actually here in person (why do i like this music what is wrong with me) struts down the ramp, everyone in the ring just standing there like um fuck the what shane's like um hi? btw i was trying to do a thing, why are you in my ring shit, she's still russian and weirdly propositioning shane while also asking for a spot in the mitb match naomi just bursts out laughing like do you even go here why do you get to be in this match when you've had like none ever lana claims she can beat naomi, i smell a match for later shane's like seriously this is not how this show works lana has a tantrum in russian, flounces off up the ramp a+ flounce the crowd are loving her shane's like RIGHT back to the actual show that i run let's have this tag match Pun Murderer, FluoroTwerk and Queen Bitch vs Wrestling Mom, Thug Girl (and Douchey), and Obligatory Samoan lots of spots happened while i was working that out, but the gist is it's pretty even so far currently becky is alligator rolling carmella around the ring with her legs there's my thing i haven't seen before for the week apparently carmella taking the briefcase would be "like moving from HD televisions back to nanotubes" i'm going to go out on a limb and say jbl doesn't understand how science works interference by nattie and ellsworth lets tamina hot tag in and grind becky to pulp nattie tags in so she can walk over becky and taunt her teammates she'd be a much more effective wrestler with more wrestling naomi and carmella both hot tag in, the champ commences to cleaning house including three short-arm leg lariats to tamina because hey, if you can manage those, why not throw a bunch in nattie and tamina both come in to interfere, and here's lana to loom on the ramp and knock naomi off the apron, letting tamina superkick her for the pin stands at ringside looking smug like yes i did do that the fuck you gonna do and we go backstage, where shane runs into the andre the giant trophy mid-phone call like the fuck is this horrible public art and here's mojo to address the fact that he won that match and then nothing else fucking ever and be like should i maybe have been in the mitb match being the only person that's beaten jinder on smackdown and all shane offhandedly mentions luke harper, the crowd go wild shane's giving mojo a match against jinder to qualify for the ladder match because as ever, shane books this shit about twenty seconds in advance later we have owens/nakamura but next, styles/ziggler again and weirdly, by 'next', we don't mean 'after someone from the last segment has an encounter backstage' for once here is aj now they still don't want none although by the sound of the crowd, rochester, NY don't not want none dolph enters, recap video of dolph going over aj last week which i had totally forgotten looking more closely at the men's briefcase, the logo detailing's the same so yeah, it's just the colour that's different bell rings, we start going old-school mat wrestling turns out dolph has amateur technical skills that aren't just assaults to the crotch and also, he can dropkick you in the face dolph goes for the most blatant dirty pin, gets caught just before 3 and then a famouser actually connects for a nearfall i tend to rag on them repeating matches, but hey, this is a good match slow superplex setup actually resolves in an interesting way dolph counters a phenomenal forearm into another dirty pin attempt, aj reverses into a styles clash with like no setup, gets the pin because we're actually respecting finishers for the moment and from that to more fashion files noir tyler has a gritty monologue about the connections between prison and the catwalk and narrates himself looking at their clue board fandango returns from taking the cologne to the boys in the lab, only to find out that there's no boys and no lab, so he just tasted it himself as you do

and then this leads into the two of them repeatedly saying a mixture of 'cologne', 'colón' and 'clone' at each other with an increasing sense of incredulity this is like a fucking two ronnies sketch and i love it tyler finally gets it or not nor does fandango, which obviously means they must be close tyler offers a hopeful "Colóse?" and we cut to the new day and their ice cream cart what is life but still with the noir saxophone soundtrack they've come to the fashion police office and are bemused by how they turn black and white as they enter the new day have a case for them, the police say they'll take it, except the new day can't hear them because they're still speaking in their shared noir internal monologue and i am falling apart here big e is uncomfortable with how they're just staring at him but he's got them both rompers carried in his singlet, obviously fandango is not impressed "Listen, Big E, if that's even your real initial..." line of the night right there fandango is offended because they don't take bribes pan over to tyler, who is already wearing his like hey they're fashionable screw you the new day want intel on the usos for mitb breezango hand them five file boxes pull out a hoodie, ask the new day what they know about day one and why it is h xavier is trying so hard not to corpse the fashion police take the case, sax sting, they freeze frame until the new day are like ummmmmmm we'll just go while their noir monologue starts a 'new case rocks' chant that was amazing and you have no idea how many times i had to pause it to type but back in normality...oh wait, it's mojo i still can't hear his music without my brain adding zack's parts and here's a video to tell us that cena's coming back on july 4th, because of course he fucking is i thought jinder's music was different to usual but it's the singhs doing ring announce for jinder in english and punjabi and there's the music i was expecting i really like the ramp graphics they do for his entrance and he remains jacked as fuck somewhere in america, heath slater is watching smackdown and nxt and developing an inferiority complex it's just occurred to me that jinder's and aj's entrances have basically the same beat and structure somebody make me that mashup maybe this entrance is just they don't want none in punjabi that would be amazing i love how they've given jinder a properly long entrance with some gravitas and just generally how seriously they're taking him as a champion mojo is getting the upper hand with the power of HYPE (always upper case) every time jinder rolls out of the ring, the singhs are like omg boss are you ok can i get you a drink and they just have long arguments in punjabi and don't even try and let the average american in on it a singh distracts mojo and lets jinder just jump on his head a bunch doesn't take, because that's never where mojo keeps his brain flurry of offence later, jinder gets an eye rake in and khalass for the pin decent match by two underrated performers jinder's veins seem to have calmed down a bit too, which is reassuring jinder has a mic, the population of rochester is not pleased oh, fuck off your usa chants promises to kill randy and crush his dreams at mitb, leans on the hometown angle again proclaims himself the antidote to randy orton, and by extension america and then does a promo in punjabi, pissing off americans because america another hype bit for owens/nakamura and a video about how cool shinsuke is and somebody painting a protrait of him this video is basically all showmanship, but that's totally appropriate he's great in the ring, but that's not why people love him but next, the new day actually fight and they keep saying it's owens/nakamura 'for the first time ever' i have gifs that disagree but now, randy is backstage renee comes in to ask what he thinks about jinder's promo apparently he's been getting calls from ric flair, harley race and his dad, telling him to let jinder talk and then fuck him up so that's what he's going to do sure, that's compelling interview work but actually now, it's the new day v the colóns they're still throwing boxes of cereal into the crowd and pouring them on fans, because fuck your health and safety it's xavier/e, because this isn't a serious match so naturally, jbl goes off on a tangent about operation overlord this is 90% the colóns taking all the new day spots you know and love xavier and e do the ab stretch/spank thing at the same time, xavier somehow gets francesca ii turbo despite having a match to wrestle in a side note, primo's gone and shaved, so now i have no clue which colón is which xavier does a huge missile dropkick on epico, double hot tag and big e proceeds to annihilate primo xavier does a casual tope con giro, primo tries for a pin from the distraction, fails because fuck you we're the new day, blind tag into midnight hour for the pin their post-match celebration is interrupted by the usos' aggressive music they're here to talk trash at the new day and do their prison thing, astonishingly and they have shitty misogynistic jokes about the new day and jimmy's paranoia monologue i do like that they're doing all this mic work, but can we maybe not be offensive to marginalised groups shot of kevin taping his wrists backstage, but here's dasha in the curtain room with sami asking how he's preparing for mitb he's been watching lots of matches, basically and he has no idea how to get a handle on shinsuke slippery bastard sami tries to do some of shinsuke's moves, it doesn't go well so he's going to be on announce for owens/nakamura for research purposes baron looms into the room, coldcocks sami then hits him with a ladder like stop thinking about shinsuke don't you love me and then pushes him into a convenient pile of ladders and says he's taking the announce spot cut to shane on the phone like i am literally watching the show what the shit was that why do i keep that enormous douchebag around man spends a lot of time in expository phone calls (says the woman narrating the entire show on the internet) but here's naomi to ask for a match with lana at mitb shane's like seriously you have no clue how busy i am right now naomi lobbies harder, puts the title on the line after saying lana doesn't deserve a title shot because she hasn't earned it? does the bald-snatching line, end segment and now main event time here's kevin good sweeping shot of the ring apron and floor, wrong steadicam guy #smackdownediting ad for talking smack, with aj, mojo, and lana and tjp telling us to watch 205 becuse he's awesome [citation needed] claims you can't stab someone in the back if they're standing in front of you tjp has clearly never heard of the concept of elbows baron's on announce great the two facts they put on shinsuke's sidebar are literally 'from kyoto' and 'former nxt superstar' fascinating but what do i care, i'm busy watching him in his studded tabard that everybody will be wearing in the future bell rings, shinsuke does his oh did you want a tieup i'm just going to kick you in the knees baron talks about his storied history of fucking sami up nobody cares, you balding twat kevin has briefly tried to take shinsuke on at the kicking game, failed, and returned to mastering headlocks shinsuke's kicked off a comeback with a lovely single leg dropkick nearfall off his knees to the corner baron acknowledges that shinsuke is dangerous, my no shit alarm is destroying my eardrums (daniel, can you please take the batteries out of that) baron's still trying to talk smack about kevin, but his particular brand of smack is just shite meanwhile, reverse exploder to kinshasa for the win a lightly underwhelming main event, tbh, but shinsuke's clearly been holding back on the in-ring stuff since moving up which makes perfect sense shinsuke does his poses, corbin runs in to end of days him so hard his stupid hat comes off crowd are not best pleased i'm mostly just concerned as to why he's dressed like the second-rate pot dealer at every college (baron, that is) (i would love it if people at my college dressed like shinsuke) and we fade on baron awkwardly posing at the top of the ramp and having no idea what do with his arms halfhearted shimmy as the show ends and now i'm off to watch talking smack and make shitty political jokes you can't stop me you're not my real dad (one of you reading this is my real dad and can stop me) (also possibly daniel's uncle, if he actually reads this) (memo to self: stop antagonising authority figures for literally no reason)

#WWE #WWE Raw #wwe smackdown #Wrestling

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robgrayofficial · 6 years

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HAPPY SATURDAY DEPLORABLES!This is your favorite Saturday afternoon mod here and I'm back with another weeks supply of all things spicy and dankk! For those that missed any past recaps you can check those out here!Let's get this recap started!Sunday, January 6th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Delivers a Statement Upon Arrival🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:“We simply cannot allow people to pour into the United States undetected, undocumented, unchecked...” Barrack Obama, 2005. I voted, when I was a Senator, to build a barrier to try to prevent illegal immigrants from coming in...” Hillary Clinton, 2015. ... ....The only reason they do not want to build a Wall is that Walls Work! 99% of our illegal Border crossings will end, crime in our Country will go way down and we will save billions of dollars a year! A properly planned and constructed Wall will pay for itself many times a year!Excited to see our friends in Egypt opening the biggest Cathedral in the Middle East. President El-Sisi is moving his country to a more inclusive future!Our GREAT MILITARY has delivered justice for the heroes lost and wounded in the cowardly attack on the USS Cole. We have just killed the leader of that attack, Jamal al-Badawi. Our work against al Qaeda continues. We will never stop in our fight against Radical Islamic Terrorism!V.P. Mike Pence and group had a productive meeting with the Schumer/Pelosi representatives today. Many details of Border Security were discussed. We are now planning a Steel Barrier rather than concrete. It is both stronger & less obtrusive. Good solution, and made in the U.S.A.SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Corporal Ronil Singh's brother, in anguish, as he is presented with the American flag from his brother's casketThis 7 year old girl was shot and killed 2 weeks ago. Celebrities tweeted nonstop that the shooter was a white male with blue eyes in a red truck. The outrage of Muh Racism flowed from every corner of the nation...ANND It was two black guys in a grey car. Which is why the media will now go silentNUMBER ONE POST ON REDDIT IS MASSIVE RED-PILL (see top comments)🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Yeezy Yeezy, what’s good?YUP...can you feel it?This 👇🏻Chuck Schumer May have just sparked the second Meme War.President Trump Thinking ‘Very Strongly’ of Declaring National Emergency at the Border: "We’re looking at a national emergency because we have a national emergency. Just read the papers. We have a crisis at the border … it is national security, it’s a national emergency.”Monday, January 7th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate and Appoint Individuals to Key Administration PostsSix Nominations Sent to the Senate🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:With all of the success that our Country is having, including the just released jobs numbers which are off the charts, the Fake News & totally dishonest Media concerning me and my presidency has never been worse. Many have become crazed lunatics who have given up on the TRUTH!... ... ...The Fake News will knowingly lie and demean in order make the tremendous success of the Trump Administration, and me, look as bad as possible. They use non-existent sources & write stories that are total fiction. Our Country is doing so well, yet this is a sad day in America! ... ....The Fake News Media in our Country is the real Opposition Party. It is truly the Enemy of the People! We must bring honesty back to journalism and reporting!Congressman Adam Smith, the new Chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, just stated, “Yes, there is a provision in law that says a president can declare an emergency. It’s been done a number of times.” No doubt, but let’s get our deal done in Congress!The Failing New York Times has knowingly written a very inaccurate story on my intentions on Syria. No different from my original statements, we will be leaving at a proper pace while at the same time continuing to fight ISIS and doing all else that is prudent and necessary!.....I am pleased to inform you that I will Address the Nation on the Humanitarian and National Security crisis on our Southern Border. Tuesday night at 9:00 P.M. Eastern.Endless Wars, especially those which are fought out of judgement mistakes that were made many years ago, & those where we are getting little financial or military help from the rich countries that so greatly benefit from what we are doing, will eventually come to a glorious end!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:UPDATE: CNN hasn’t reported real news in 790 days.Donald Trump Will Get Chance to Pick World Bank's Chief. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Broadcast Networks Deliberating whether to air Trump's prime time Immigration AddressGinsburg missing Supreme Court arguments for 1st timeTrump to travel to Southern border Thursday, Sarah Sanders says | Fox News🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Stands 8 Hours for illegal aliens."Diversity". You Know You Want it.Ready for 9PM tomorrow! BUILD THE WALL!Communists be like...Ray BannedTuesday, January 8th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Addresses the Nation🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Economic numbers looking REALLY good. Can you imagine if I had long term ZERO interest rates to play with like the past administration, rather than the rapidly raised normalized rates we have today. That would have been SO EASY! Still, markets up BIG since 2016 Election!“The President is the biggest and best supporter of the Steel Industry in many years. We are now doing really well. The Tariffs let us compete. Was unfair that the Steel Industry lost its jobs to unfair trade laws. Very positive outcome.” Mark Glyptis, United SteelworkersTalks with China are going very well!Congratulations to a truly great football team, the Clemson Tigers, on an incredible win last night against a powerful Alabama team. A big win also for the Great State of South Carolina. Look forward to seeing the team, and their brilliant coach, for the second time at the W.H.President Trump Addresses the NationThank you for soooo many nice comments regarding my Oval Office speech. A very interesting experience!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Hi, I’m Sara Carter, and headed to the US Mexico Border. Ask me anything!CBS News "Fact Checks" Trump Speech, has a bad timeGinsburg misses second day in a row at Supreme CourtFINALLYPRESS BRIEFINGS, INTERVIEWS, RALLIES:WATCH PARTY: President Trump Addresses the Nation on Immigration and Border Security🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:THANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT CHUCK 🙏🏻They did it. Foxnews did it. Ultimate trollCNN activist Jim Acosta gets destroyed by Kellyanne Conway 😂Can't wait for tonight! THE WALL IS COMING!Anyway, here's BorderwallWednesday, January 9th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Participates in a Signing Ceremony for Anti-Human Trafficking LegislationPresident Trump Speaks after a Senate Republican Policy Lunch🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Our Country is doing so well in so many ways. Great jobs numbers, with a record setting December. We are rebuilding our military. Vets finally have Choice & Accountability. Economy & GDP are strong. Tax & Reg cuts historic. Trade deals great. But we MUST fix our Southern Border!Billions of dollars are sent to the State of California for Forest fires that, with proper Forest Management, would never happen. Unless they get their act together, which is unlikely, I have ordered FEMA to send no more money. It is a disgraceful situation in lives & money!Thank you to all of America's brave police, deputies, sheriffs, and federal law enforcement on National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day! We love you and will always support you.Just left a meeting with Chuck and Nancy, a total waste of time. I asked what is going to happen in 30 days if I quickly open things up, are you going to approve Border Security which includes a Wall or Steel Barrier? Nancy said, NO. I said bye-bye, nothing else works!The Mainstream Media has NEVER been more dishonest than it is now. NBC and MSNBC are going Crazy. They report stories, purposely, the exact opposite of the facts. They are truly the Opposition Party working with the Dems. May even be worse than Fake News CNN, if that is possible!Gave an OFF THE RECORD luncheon, somewhat of a White House tradition or custom, to network anchors yesterday - and they quickly leaked the contents of the meeting. Who would believe how bad it has gotten with the mainstream media, which has gone totally bonkers!(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) This is why we need a wall. Illegal immigration is a serious threat to our country. 90% of all heroin comes across the border. Thousands of kids are Sex trafficked. Illegals cost US taxpayers $135 billion a year. We support the shutdown for a wall!(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) President Trump is winning this shutdown fight. Democrats have no message, and are refusing to open government because they are fighting for foreign nationals that want to flow endlessly into our country. Stand your ground President Trump, we have your back!(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) Did you know: At our Southern Border, in 2018: 1.7 MILLION pounds of narcotics were seized, 17,000 criminals were arrested, 6,000 gang members—including violent MS-13 Animals—were apprehended. Protect America - BUILD THE WALL(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) Governor Ron DeSantis suspends the horrible Sheriff Scott Israel who is largely responsible for the errors leading up to Parkland Shooting. A man of action, on his first day going after the cowards of Broward!(Retweeting Dan Bongino) New Poll: Vast Majority of Voters Believe There is "Crisis" or "Problem" at U.S. BorderSIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:FACT CHECK: LIE: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi & Sen. Chuck Schumer said in their address last night that if Trump opens the government they'll talk securing the border. The President gave them that offer today, but they immediately rejected it.Vice Pres. Mike Pence says President Trump asked Speaker Pelosi if Democrats would support border wall funding if government were reopened quickly. "When she said no, the president said goodbye."New Dem Congresswoman of “impeach the MF” fame has a history with Trump.Ginsburg misses third consecutive day at Supreme Court - Proof of Life RecommendedRed Lobster calls Republicans "hateful" and "racist"; pulls ads from Tucker Carlson. "We are an inclusive, diverse company who welcomes everyone. We will not tolerate racism, xenophobia, homophobia, or any other bigotry that plagues our diverse society."🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:This is what all I imagined while watching them.Wall? No? Bye-bye.What did Schumer say about memes?Actual photo of GEOTUS walking out on NancywE DoN’T gOVeRn bY teMPeR TanTRum.Thursday, January 10th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Delivers a Statement Upon DeparturePresident Trump Participates in a Roundtable on Immigration and Border Security🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Cryin Chuck told his favorite lie when he used his standard sound bite that I “slammed the table & walked out of the room. He had a temper tantrum.” Because I knew he would say that, and after Nancy said no to proper Border Security, I politely said bye-bye and left, no slamming!There is GREAT unity with the Republicans in the House and Senate, despite the Fake News Media working in overdrive to make the story look otherwise. The Opposition Party & the Dems know we must have Strong Border Security, but don’t want to give “Trump” another one of many wins!“Great support for Border Security and the Wall.” @foxandfriends Even greater than anyone would know! “Presidents supporters do not want him to cave.” @SteveDoocy I won’t!Getting ready to leave for the Great State of Texas! #MAGAMAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN![Because of the Democrats intransigence on Border Security and the great importance of Safety for our Nation, I am respectfully cancelling my very important trip to Davos, Switzerland for the World Economic Forum. My warmest regards and apologies to the @WEF!]()Why do we need border security? This is why. These are the facts. #SecureOurBorder Border Security: The FactsPresident Obama, thank you for your great support – I have been saying this all along!From the Southern Border....Dear Diary...Will be interviewed at the Border by @seanhannity on @FoxNews tonight at 9:00. Enjoy!We lose 300 Americans a week, 90% of which comes through the Southern Border. These numbers will be DRASTICALLY REDUCED if we have a Wall!When I took the Oath of Office....SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:REPORT: White House Preparing for Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Departure from Supreme CourtPARSCALE: Just received my newest voter score tracking from my team. Donald Trump has reached his highest national approval rating since I started tracking. The The Democrats have really made a mistake going with their gut over data.Ana Navarro (CNN) rolls her eyes, sighs, files her nails as conservative guest describes innocent Americans murdered by illegal ALIENS - (Disgusting, deplorable, sickening!) link to video & tweet in commentSHOCKING NEWS: Rashida Motherfucker Tlaib is on George Soros' payroll to the tune of $130k since 2016. More details inside.ADAM SCHIFF’s donor...ED BUCK is done. 3rd BLACK gay prostitute didn’t die and took photos to document the disgusting meeting where BUCK paid him to shoot up meth. STANDARD HOTEL is about to leak....nice timing. ADAM- WE CANT WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PARTICIPATION IN A MURDER.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Some real numbers for anyone who thinks the wall is outrageous.Brad Parscale: “I would like to thank @Acosta for pointing out how peaceful, safe and secure it is at a part of the border that HAS a wall. #RealNews #BuildTheWall”I found a vault in the back of a bank. But I don’t see anything resembling a bank heist..at least not in the heavily guarded area that I'm inGEOTUS looks out over the Rio Grande while saluting a Customs and Border Patrol helicopterThe Border KingFriday, January 11th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Receives a Briefing on Border SecurityPresident Trump Delivers a Message From the Southern BorderPresident Donald Trump Visits The Southern Border🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:I often said during rallies, with little variation, that “Mexico will pay for the Wall.” We have just signed a great new Trade Deal with Mexico. It is Billions of Dollars a year better than the very bad NAFTA deal which it replaces. The difference pays for Wall many times over!H1-B holders in the United States can rest assured that changes are soon coming which will bring both simplicity and certainty to your stay, including a potential path to citizenship. We want to encourage talented and highly skilled people to pursue career options in the U.S.Humanitarian Crisis at our Southern Border. I just got back and it is a far worse situation than almost anyone would understand, an invasion! I have been there numerous times - The Democrats, Cryin’ Chuck and Nancy don’t know how bad and dangerous it is for our ENTIRE COUNTRY.... ... ...The Steel Barrier, or Wall, should have been built by previous administrations long ago. They never got it done - I will. Without it, our Country cannot be safe. Criminals, Gangs, Human Traffickers, Drugs & so much other big trouble can easily pour in. It can be stopped cold!The Fake News Media keeps saying we haven’t built any NEW WALL. Below is a section just completed on the Border. Anti-climbing feature included. Very high, strong and beautiful! Also, many miles already renovated and in service!I look forward to hosting, right out of the great State of South Carolina, the 2019 NCAA Football Champion Clemson Tigers at the White House on Monday, January 14th. What a game, what a coach, what a team!Drug prices declined in 2018, the first time in nearly half a century. During the first 19 months of my Administration, Americans saved $26 Billion on prescription drugs. Our policies to get cheaper generic drugs to market are working!.@CNN called a San Diego news station (@KUSINews) for negative reports on the Wall. When the station said that Walls work, CNN no longer had interest. #FakeNewsSIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:CNN doesn’t want to hear from KUSI Newsroom after they tell them walls workI Hope Barron Enjoys His Awesome Belt Buckle!FBI Moved ‘Quickly’ To Spy On Carter Page For ‘Operational Reasons,’ FBI Lawyer TestifiedTrump to Acosta: "Good job yesterday. I appreciate your sales pitch"FLASHBACK: Democrats Built Tall Fence To Keep Protesters Out Of Their 2016 Convention🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Trump last night after he dropped that DEAR DIARY GOLD!!!!!It’s 2am...you get this. What do you do?CNN Reporter: Slaps Side of Wallno red-blooded American could possibly downvote an image of the American flag"That's a pretty good shitpost...go ahead and give him gold"Saturday, January 12th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Wow, just learned in the Failing New York Times that the corrupt former leaders of the FBI, almost all fired or forced to leave the agency for some very bad reasons, opened up an investigation on me, for no reason & with no proof, after I fired Lyin’ James Comey, a total sleaze! ... ...Funny thing about James Comey. Everybody wanted him fired, Republican and Democrat alike. After the rigged & botched Crooked Hillary investigation, where she was interviewed on July 4th Weekend, not recorded or sworn in, and where she said she didn’t know anything (a lie),.... ... ....the FBI was in complete turmoil (see N.Y. Post) because of Comey’s poor leadership and the way he handled the Clinton mess (not to mention his usurpation of powers from the Justice Department). My firing of James Comey was a great day for America. He was a Crooked Cop...... ... .....who is being totally protected by his best friend, Bob Mueller, & the 13 Angry Democrats - leaking machines who have NO interest in going after the Real Collusion (and much more) by Crooked Hillary Clinton, her Campaign, and the Democratic National Committee. Just Watch!I have been FAR tougher on Russia than Obama, Bush or Clinton. Maybe tougher than any other President. At the same time, & as I have often said, getting along with Russia is a good thing, not a bad thing. I fully expect that someday we will have good relations with Russia again!Lyin’ James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter S and his lover, agent Lisa Page, & more, all disgraced and/or fired and caught in the act. These are just some of the losers that tried to do a number on your President. Part of the Witch Hunt. Remember the “insurance policy?” This is it!Democrats should come back to Washington and work to end the Shutdown, while at the same time ending the horrible humanitarian crisis at our Southern Border. I am in the White House waiting for you!23% of Federal inmates are illegal immigrants. Border arrests are up 240%. In the Great State of Texas, between 2011 & 2018, there were a total of 292,000 crimes by illegal aliens, 539 murders, 32,000 assaults, 3,426 sexual assaults and 3000 weapons charges. Democrats come back!Democrats could solve the Shutdown in 15 minutes! Call your Dem Senator or Congresswoman/man. Tell them to get it done! Humanitarian Crisis.I just watched a Fake reporter from the Amazon Washington Post say the White House is “chaotic, there does not seem to be a strategy for this Shutdown. There is no plan.” The Fakes always like talking Chaos, there is NONE. In fact, there’s almost nobody in the W.H. but me, and... ... ....I do have a plan on the Shutdown. But to understand that plan you would have to understand the fact that I won the election, and I promised safety and security for the American people. Part of that promise was a Wall at the Southern Border. Elections have consequences!We have a massive Humanitarian Crisis at our Southern Border. We will be out for a long time unless the Democrats come back from their “vacations” and get back to work. I am in the White House ready to sign!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:"If your fact check consists of “this is true, but ” you are no longer checking a fact. You are engaged in an argument, and therefore, you’re guilty of misleading your readers — which, we thought, was the opposite of your job description."Absolute Savage: DeSantis asks entire South Florida water board to resignEPIC: Livid California Black woman slams Liberal sanctuary city policies that are devastating black communities “When Black people commit a crime THEY GET 3 strikes, when illegal aliens commit crimes they get amnesty & benefits” Please share: Media refuses to cover the travestyMadman puts EU in its place. The EU diplomats have been frozen out of swanky gatherings after Donald Trump downgraded the EU delegation’s diplomatic status from “member state” to “international organisation”. Try not to shed a tear🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:It really do be like thatAlmost to 700k!Michelle Obama does not like the penis jokes!I may hate Hollywood but I'd watch thisSOOO MUCH WINNING, STILL NOT TIRED OF IT!Without further ado, some tunes to get you jamming through all this winning:Be As You AreHostageLet Me GoMy BoyScars To Your BeautifulOcean EyesMAGA ON PATRIOTS! #robgray

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Afternoon MAGAthread: YOUR WEEKLY PRESIDENTIAL RECAP!

HAPPY SATURDAY DEPLORABLES!

This is your favorite Saturday afternoon mod here and I'm back with another weeks supply of all things spicy and dankk! For those that missed any past recaps you can check those out here!

Let's get this recap started!

Sunday, January 6th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Delivers a Statement Upon Arrival

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

“We simply cannot allow people to pour into the United States undetected, undocumented, unchecked...” Barrack Obama, 2005. I voted, when I was a Senator, to build a barrier to try to prevent illegal immigrants from coming in...” Hillary Clinton, 2015. ... ....The only reason they do not want to build a Wall is that Walls Work! 99% of our illegal Border crossings will end, crime in our Country will go way down and we will save billions of dollars a year! A properly planned and constructed Wall will pay for itself many times a year!

Excited to see our friends in Egypt opening the biggest Cathedral in the Middle East. President El-Sisi is moving his country to a more inclusive future!

Our GREAT MILITARY has delivered justice for the heroes lost and wounded in the cowardly attack on the USS Cole. We have just killed the leader of that attack, Jamal al-Badawi. Our work against al Qaeda continues. We will never stop in our fight against Radical Islamic Terrorism!

V.P. Mike Pence and group had a productive meeting with the Schumer/Pelosi representatives today. Many details of Border Security were discussed. We are now planning a Steel Barrier rather than concrete. It is both stronger & less obtrusive. Good solution, and made in the U.S.A.

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Corporal Ronil Singh's brother, in anguish, as he is presented with the American flag from his brother's casket

This 7 year old girl was shot and killed 2 weeks ago. Celebrities tweeted nonstop that the shooter was a white male with blue eyes in a red truck. The outrage of Muh Racism flowed from every corner of the nation...ANND It was two black guys in a grey car. Which is why the media will now go silent

NUMBER ONE POST ON REDDIT IS MASSIVE RED-PILL (see top comments)

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Yeezy Yeezy, what’s good?

YUP...can you feel it?

This 👇🏻

Chuck Schumer May have just sparked the second Meme War.

President Trump Thinking ‘Very Strongly’ of Declaring National Emergency at the Border: "We’re looking at a national emergency because we have a national emergency. Just read the papers. We have a crisis at the border … it is national security, it’s a national emergency.”

Monday, January 7th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate and Appoint Individuals to Key Administration Posts

Six Nominations Sent to the Senate

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

With all of the success that our Country is having, including the just released jobs numbers which are off the charts, the Fake News & totally dishonest Media concerning me and my presidency has never been worse. Many have become crazed lunatics who have given up on the TRUTH!... ... ...The Fake News will knowingly lie and demean in order make the tremendous success of the Trump Administration, and me, look as bad as possible. They use non-existent sources & write stories that are total fiction. Our Country is doing so well, yet this is a sad day in America! ... ....The Fake News Media in our Country is the real Opposition Party. It is truly the Enemy of the People! We must bring honesty back to journalism and reporting!

Congressman Adam Smith, the new Chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, just stated, “Yes, there is a provision in law that says a president can declare an emergency. It’s been done a number of times.” No doubt, but let’s get our deal done in Congress!

The Failing New York Times has knowingly written a very inaccurate story on my intentions on Syria. No different from my original statements, we will be leaving at a proper pace while at the same time continuing to fight ISIS and doing all else that is prudent and necessary!.....

I am pleased to inform you that I will Address the Nation on the Humanitarian and National Security crisis on our Southern Border. Tuesday night at 9:00 P.M. Eastern.

Endless Wars, especially those which are fought out of judgement mistakes that were made many years ago, & those where we are getting little financial or military help from the rich countries that so greatly benefit from what we are doing, will eventually come to a glorious end!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

UPDATE: CNN hasn’t reported real news in 790 days.

Donald Trump Will Get Chance to Pick World Bank's Chief. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Broadcast Networks Deliberating whether to air Trump's prime time Immigration Address

Ginsburg missing Supreme Court arguments for 1st time

Trump to travel to Southern border Thursday, Sarah Sanders says | Fox News

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Stands 8 Hours for illegal aliens.

"Diversity". You Know You Want it.

Ready for 9PM tomorrow! BUILD THE WALL!

Communists be like...

Ray Banned

Tuesday, January 8th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Addresses the Nation

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Economic numbers looking REALLY good. Can you imagine if I had long term ZERO interest rates to play with like the past administration, rather than the rapidly raised normalized rates we have today. That would have been SO EASY! Still, markets up BIG since 2016 Election!

“The President is the biggest and best supporter of the Steel Industry in many years. We are now doing really well. The Tariffs let us compete. Was unfair that the Steel Industry lost its jobs to unfair trade laws. Very positive outcome.” Mark Glyptis, United Steelworkers

Talks with China are going very well!

Congratulations to a truly great football team, the Clemson Tigers, on an incredible win last night against a powerful Alabama team. A big win also for the Great State of South Carolina. Look forward to seeing the team, and their brilliant coach, for the second time at the W.H.

President Trump Addresses the Nation

Thank you for soooo many nice comments regarding my Oval Office speech. A very interesting experience!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

Hi, I’m Sara Carter, and headed to the US Mexico Border. Ask me anything!

CBS News "Fact Checks" Trump Speech, has a bad time

Ginsburg misses second day in a row at Supreme Court

FINALLY

PRESS BRIEFINGS, INTERVIEWS, RALLIES:

WATCH PARTY: President Trump Addresses the Nation on Immigration and Border Security

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

THANK YOU FOR THIS GIFT CHUCK 🙏🏻

They did it. Foxnews did it. Ultimate troll

CNN activist Jim Acosta gets destroyed by Kellyanne Conway 😂

Can't wait for tonight! THE WALL IS COMING!

Anyway, here's Borderwall

Wednesday, January 9th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Participates in a Signing Ceremony for Anti-Human Trafficking Legislation

President Trump Speaks after a Senate Republican Policy Lunch

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Our Country is doing so well in so many ways. Great jobs numbers, with a record setting December. We are rebuilding our military. Vets finally have Choice & Accountability. Economy & GDP are strong. Tax & Reg cuts historic. Trade deals great. But we MUST fix our Southern Border!

Billions of dollars are sent to the State of California for Forest fires that, with proper Forest Management, would never happen. Unless they get their act together, which is unlikely, I have ordered FEMA to send no more money. It is a disgraceful situation in lives & money!

Thank you to all of America's brave police, deputies, sheriffs, and federal law enforcement on National Law Enforcement Appreciation Day! We love you and will always support you.

Just left a meeting with Chuck and Nancy, a total waste of time. I asked what is going to happen in 30 days if I quickly open things up, are you going to approve Border Security which includes a Wall or Steel Barrier? Nancy said, NO. I said bye-bye, nothing else works!

The Mainstream Media has NEVER been more dishonest than it is now. NBC and MSNBC are going Crazy. They report stories, purposely, the exact opposite of the facts. They are truly the Opposition Party working with the Dems. May even be worse than Fake News CNN, if that is possible!

Gave an OFF THE RECORD luncheon, somewhat of a White House tradition or custom, to network anchors yesterday - and they quickly leaked the contents of the meeting. Who would believe how bad it has gotten with the mainstream media, which has gone totally bonkers!

(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) This is why we need a wall. Illegal immigration is a serious threat to our country. 90% of all heroin comes across the border. Thousands of kids are Sex trafficked. Illegals cost US taxpayers $135 billion a year. We support the shutdown for a wall!

(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) President Trump is winning this shutdown fight. Democrats have no message, and are refusing to open government because they are fighting for foreign nationals that want to flow endlessly into our country. Stand your ground President Trump, we have your back!

(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) Did you know: At our Southern Border, in 2018: 1.7 MILLION pounds of narcotics were seized, 17,000 criminals were arrested, 6,000 gang members—including violent MS-13 Animals—were apprehended. Protect America - BUILD THE WALL

(Retweeting Charlie Kirk) Governor Ron DeSantis suspends the horrible Sheriff Scott Israel who is largely responsible for the errors leading up to Parkland Shooting. A man of action, on his first day going after the cowards of Broward!

(Retweeting Dan Bongino) New Poll: Vast Majority of Voters Believe There is "Crisis" or "Problem" at U.S. Border

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

FACT CHECK: LIE: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi & Sen. Chuck Schumer said in their address last night that if Trump opens the government they'll talk securing the border. The President gave them that offer today, but they immediately rejected it.

Vice Pres. Mike Pence says President Trump asked Speaker Pelosi if Democrats would support border wall funding if government were reopened quickly. "When she said no, the president said goodbye."

New Dem Congresswoman of “impeach the MF” fame has a history with Trump.

Ginsburg misses third consecutive day at Supreme Court - Proof of Life Recommended

Red Lobster calls Republicans "hateful" and "racist"; pulls ads from Tucker Carlson. "We are an inclusive, diverse company who welcomes everyone. We will not tolerate racism, xenophobia, homophobia, or any other bigotry that plagues our diverse society."

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

This is what all I imagined while watching them.

Wall? No? Bye-bye.

What did Schumer say about memes?

Actual photo of GEOTUS walking out on Nancy

wE DoN’T gOVeRn bY teMPeR TanTRum.

Thursday, January 10th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Delivers a Statement Upon Departure

President Trump Participates in a Roundtable on Immigration and Border Security

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Cryin Chuck told his favorite lie when he used his standard sound bite that I “slammed the table & walked out of the room. He had a temper tantrum.” Because I knew he would say that, and after Nancy said no to proper Border Security, I politely said bye-bye and left, no slamming!

There is GREAT unity with the Republicans in the House and Senate, despite the Fake News Media working in overdrive to make the story look otherwise. The Opposition Party & the Dems know we must have Strong Border Security, but don’t want to give “Trump” another one of many wins!

“Great support for Border Security and the Wall.” @foxandfriends Even greater than anyone would know! “Presidents supporters do not want him to cave.” @SteveDoocy I won’t!

Getting ready to leave for the Great State of Texas! #MAGA

MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!

[Because of the Democrats intransigence on Border Security and the great importance of Safety for our Nation, I am respectfully cancelling my very important trip to Davos, Switzerland for the World Economic Forum. My warmest regards and apologies to the @WEF!]()

Why do we need border security? This is why. These are the facts. #SecureOurBorder Border Security: The Facts

President Obama, thank you for your great support – I have been saying this all along!

From the Southern Border....

Dear Diary...

Will be interviewed at the Border by @seanhannity on @FoxNews tonight at 9:00. Enjoy!

We lose 300 Americans a week, 90% of which comes through the Southern Border. These numbers will be DRASTICALLY REDUCED if we have a Wall!

When I took the Oath of Office....

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

REPORT: White House Preparing for Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s Departure from Supreme Court

PARSCALE: Just received my newest voter score tracking from my team. Donald Trump has reached his highest national approval rating since I started tracking. The The Democrats have really made a mistake going with their gut over data.

Ana Navarro (CNN) rolls her eyes, sighs, files her nails as conservative guest describes innocent Americans murdered by illegal ALIENS - (Disgusting, deplorable, sickening!) link to video & tweet in comment

SHOCKING NEWS: Rashida Motherfucker Tlaib is on George Soros' payroll to the tune of $130k since 2016. More details inside.

ADAM SCHIFF’s donor...ED BUCK is done. 3rd BLACK gay prostitute didn’t die and took photos to document the disgusting meeting where BUCK paid him to shoot up meth. STANDARD HOTEL is about to leak....nice timing. ADAM- WE CANT WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PARTICIPATION IN A MURDER.

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Some real numbers for anyone who thinks the wall is outrageous.

Brad Parscale: “I would like to thank @Acosta for pointing out how peaceful, safe and secure it is at a part of the border that HAS a wall. #RealNews #BuildTheWall”

I found a vault in the back of a bank. But I don’t see anything resembling a bank heist..at least not in the heavily guarded area that I'm in

GEOTUS looks out over the Rio Grande while saluting a Customs and Border Patrol helicopter

The Border King

Friday, January 11th:

TODAY'S ACTION:

President Trump Receives a Briefing on Border Security

President Trump Delivers a Message From the Southern Border

President Donald Trump Visits The Southern Border

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

I often said during rallies, with little variation, that “Mexico will pay for the Wall.” We have just signed a great new Trade Deal with Mexico. It is Billions of Dollars a year better than the very bad NAFTA deal which it replaces. The difference pays for Wall many times over!

H1-B holders in the United States can rest assured that changes are soon coming which will bring both simplicity and certainty to your stay, including a potential path to citizenship. We want to encourage talented and highly skilled people to pursue career options in the U.S.

Humanitarian Crisis at our Southern Border. I just got back and it is a far worse situation than almost anyone would understand, an invasion! I have been there numerous times - The Democrats, Cryin’ Chuck and Nancy don’t know how bad and dangerous it is for our ENTIRE COUNTRY.... ... ...The Steel Barrier, or Wall, should have been built by previous administrations long ago. They never got it done - I will. Without it, our Country cannot be safe. Criminals, Gangs, Human Traffickers, Drugs & so much other big trouble can easily pour in. It can be stopped cold!

The Fake News Media keeps saying we haven’t built any NEW WALL. Below is a section just completed on the Border. Anti-climbing feature included. Very high, strong and beautiful! Also, many miles already renovated and in service!

I look forward to hosting, right out of the great State of South Carolina, the 2019 NCAA Football Champion Clemson Tigers at the White House on Monday, January 14th. What a game, what a coach, what a team!

Drug prices declined in 2018, the first time in nearly half a century. During the first 19 months of my Administration, Americans saved $26 Billion on prescription drugs. Our policies to get cheaper generic drugs to market are working!

.@CNN called a San Diego news station (@KUSINews) for negative reports on the Wall. When the station said that Walls work, CNN no longer had interest. #FakeNews

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

CNN doesn’t want to hear from KUSI Newsroom after they tell them walls work

I Hope Barron Enjoys His Awesome Belt Buckle!

FBI Moved ‘Quickly’ To Spy On Carter Page For ‘Operational Reasons,’ FBI Lawyer Testified

Trump to Acosta: "Good job yesterday. I appreciate your sales pitch"

FLASHBACK: Democrats Built Tall Fence To Keep Protesters Out Of Their 2016 Convention

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

Trump last night after he dropped that DEAR DIARY GOLD!!!!!

It’s 2am...you get this. What do you do?

CNN Reporter: Slaps Side of Wall

no red-blooded American could possibly downvote an image of the American flag

"That's a pretty good shitpost...go ahead and give him gold"

Saturday, January 12th:

🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:

Wow, just learned in the Failing New York Times that the corrupt former leaders of the FBI, almost all fired or forced to leave the agency for some very bad reasons, opened up an investigation on me, for no reason & with no proof, after I fired Lyin’ James Comey, a total sleaze! ... ...Funny thing about James Comey. Everybody wanted him fired, Republican and Democrat alike. After the rigged & botched Crooked Hillary investigation, where she was interviewed on July 4th Weekend, not recorded or sworn in, and where she said she didn’t know anything (a lie),.... ... ....the FBI was in complete turmoil (see N.Y. Post) because of Comey’s poor leadership and the way he handled the Clinton mess (not to mention his usurpation of powers from the Justice Department). My firing of James Comey was a great day for America. He was a Crooked Cop...... ... .....who is being totally protected by his best friend, Bob Mueller, & the 13 Angry Democrats - leaking machines who have NO interest in going after the Real Collusion (and much more) by Crooked Hillary Clinton, her Campaign, and the Democratic National Committee. Just Watch!

I have been FAR tougher on Russia than Obama, Bush or Clinton. Maybe tougher than any other President. At the same time, & as I have often said, getting along with Russia is a good thing, not a bad thing. I fully expect that someday we will have good relations with Russia again!

Lyin’ James Comey, Andrew McCabe, Peter S and his lover, agent Lisa Page, & more, all disgraced and/or fired and caught in the act. These are just some of the losers that tried to do a number on your President. Part of the Witch Hunt. Remember the “insurance policy?” This is it!

Democrats should come back to Washington and work to end the Shutdown, while at the same time ending the horrible humanitarian crisis at our Southern Border. I am in the White House waiting for you!

23% of Federal inmates are illegal immigrants. Border arrests are up 240%. In the Great State of Texas, between 2011 & 2018, there were a total of 292,000 crimes by illegal aliens, 539 murders, 32,000 assaults, 3,426 sexual assaults and 3000 weapons charges. Democrats come back!

Democrats could solve the Shutdown in 15 minutes! Call your Dem Senator or Congresswoman/man. Tell them to get it done! Humanitarian Crisis.

I just watched a Fake reporter from the Amazon Washington Post say the White House is “chaotic, there does not seem to be a strategy for this Shutdown. There is no plan.” The Fakes always like talking Chaos, there is NONE. In fact, there’s almost nobody in the W.H. but me, and... ... ....I do have a plan on the Shutdown. But to understand that plan you would have to understand the fact that I won the election, and I promised safety and security for the American people. Part of that promise was a Wall at the Southern Border. Elections have consequences!

We have a massive Humanitarian Crisis at our Southern Border. We will be out for a long time unless the Democrats come back from their “vacations” and get back to work. I am in the White House ready to sign!

SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:

"If your fact check consists of “this is true, but ” you are no longer checking a fact. You are engaged in an argument, and therefore, you’re guilty of misleading your readers — which, we thought, was the opposite of your job description."

Absolute Savage: DeSantis asks entire South Florida water board to resign

EPIC: Livid California Black woman slams Liberal sanctuary city policies that are devastating black communities “When Black people commit a crime THEY GET 3 strikes, when illegal aliens commit crimes they get amnesty & benefits” Please share: Media refuses to cover the travesty

Madman puts EU in its place. The EU diplomats have been frozen out of swanky gatherings after Donald Trump downgraded the EU delegation’s diplomatic status from “member state” to “international organisation”. Try not to shed a tear

🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:

It really do be like that

Almost to 700k!

Michelle Obama does not like the penis jokes!

I may hate Hollywood but I'd watch this

SOOO MUCH WINNING, STILL NOT TIRED OF IT!

Without further ado, some tunes to get you jamming through all this winning:

Be As You Are

Hostage

Let Me Go

My Boy

Scars To Your Beautiful

Ocean Eyes

MAGA ON PATRIOTS!

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evasjournal · 7 years

Text

THAT’S A WRAP

Well, it’s definitely been a few weeks and quite a lot has happened.

First of all, Christmas came early for me this year by way of what is definitely the most awesome Christmas gift I’ve ever received. A gift from Zack and myself to me – we got the Lexus. Yes, it’s true, I now drive a 2017 Lexus RX 350. That’s my car. It’s amazing! I’ve had her two weeks and a day. Already she has a few miles on her. She had 11 when I took her home, but I traveled to Ames for an ISU basketball game last week and then also back to Storm Lake for Christmas. Goodness, she is lovely though – that’s for sure. Black on black and smells of fiiiiine leather. I hope that scent never fades! Or at least I hope it sticks around long enough for Zack to appreciate it.

Getting a new car in winter though … not the greatest. It was rainy then snowy, so she’s all dirty and not shiny whatsoever. I already took her through the car wash once, but the cleanliness didn’t last. Now, among many other reasons, I’m ready for Spring so I can spend hours cleaning and waxing this baby!

I did travel back to good ol’ Storm Lake for Christmas and, yes, I did feel like a badass rolling up on my block in my brand new fucking Lexus. My dad is so proud of me for it too – he wanted to show it off on my behalf! My family was impressed with it, people made comments to my parents about it too. Needless to say, my ego was stroked. And yeah, I fucking liked that feeling.

It was nice being on a high especially given how low the low has been recently. The last couple of weeks have been so rough, emotionally. I went through a lot of fear and uncertainty as it pertains to our marriage. I kept having this bad feeling in my core that things were changing, that we were growing distant, and that they wouldn’t be the same when he got back. That somehow, this would lead us to getting divorced! That already there were signs that were pointing in that direction. It was bad. I spent a lot of nights crying myself to sleep, crying while I journaled, and sometimes even just crying in my office whenever I would think about it. I wanted so desperately to talk about my fears and what I was feeling, but I couldn’t talk to my friends about it. But I avoided it; I just didn’t feel they could relate or understand. Jennie, bless her heart, would only give me the “feel good” advice that I want to hear instead of being as honest as she needs to be. Amy, would tell me what I need to hear – which is that I need to talk to Zack about it and I already knew that. But I was so scared to bring it up with him. Scared that it would confirm my fears, that things have changed, that we’re struggling. Scared that it just made me seem insensitive and like whiney baby to add “my feelings” on to his plate when he’s half a world away, in a damn sandbox, and in combat zone. I was just too afraid to mention it – until last week. I cracked.

It was Thursday night and I was planning on traveling back to Storm Lake Friday morning. I stayed up lter than I should have catching up on my devotional readings and journaling – and then the darkness swarmed over me and I broke down. I don’t know how long I cried for – but it was the draining, gut wrenching, really emotional sobbing that just leaves you feeling empty and defeated. I had to talk to Zack about it and since I was going to be spending a few hours the following morning driving, I figured it would be a good time for us to talk.

I messaged him and told him we needed to talk, asked him to call me if he could the following day during my drive. But I realized I’d never be able to get out what I needed to say during a phone conversation though. Mostly because I could barely think about it without crying, let alone speak about it. So I decided to start jotting down my thoughts and the notes eventually turned into full blown paragraphs. There it was all out on paper – or rather, the screen I guess since I typed it on my phone. I sent it to him. Figured it was a good start.

He called me the next morning. He said he felt caught off guard because he wasn’t expecting that. He hadn’t had those thoughts or feelings that things had changed, but he was glad I brought it up so we could work on it. He said he could and would try harder. Our talk has helped, it really has. I feel so much more at ease and at peace.

On Christmas we talked twice, for a total of almost two hours. It was wonderful. I miss him like crazy. But with the start of the new year, it’s FOUR months until he’s home. Four months! That time will fly, hopefully. He’s leaving for another base soon and will be there 3 months – 90 days! Doesn’t sound as long when you phrase it that way. Then he’ll head back to Kuwait for a month and start his journey home on or about April 20th. He’ll have to return to Belvoir for some time and then he’ll be home, home.

I wish I could say that it’s for good, but unfortunately it isn’t. Sometime in May he’ll be back in our home, but then he leaves in June for a six week training somewhere in Missouri. Insert big disappointing sigh here. I guess I’m not even all that upset about it. I mean after spending this many months apart, what’s another six weeks? Especially when we’ll be in the same time zone! I’ll even be able to visit him while he’s there. So, overall not a big deal I guess. Plus this is so important to him; I know how badly he wants to do this so he can be promoted. If it’s important to him, it’s important to me. I’ll support him, even if it means him leaving again for some time.

As I think ahead to what will be in store for us over the next couple of months and in the new year, I have to reflect on what this year has brought. And – oh my goodness – was it a wild fucking year. A rollercoaster, really. Awesome and pretty incredible – but I don’t mean awesome and incredible in the traditional, positive sense like, “It was amazing!” I mean it in a more literal way that I am actually in awe by it and it is hard to believe all that happened over the past 12 months. Shall we recap?

To start, I went on my first trip abroad all thanks to the love of my life and it was the most amazing and memorable trip a girl could hope for. Not only did I get to travel through Italy with Zachary, but he proposed! He asked me to spend the rest of our lives together in the most beautiful and romantic place and in a city that I have been captivated by since the seventh grade – Venice ... on a gondola ride, at sunset in fucking Venice. I had a proposal straight out of a movie. If that’s not something for the books, I don’t know what is.

Fast forward to just a few weeks after our trip and come to find out that my fiancé is being deployed in a few short months. My world was turned upside down. What would this mean for us? Was our life going to be put on pause for a year while he’s away? Do we get married now before he leaves? Do we wait? Do we do just a courthouse wedding now and a ceremony later? Do I have to plan a wedding on my own? What if worst case scenario happens? What if he doesn’t come home? Why is this happening?

A few weeks after that, we make the official decision to get married before he leaves. And we also decide that will be it. We will have a tiny ceremony and a party at our house and that’s it. No fancy re-do wedding when he gets back.

On June 10th I said “I do” to the love of my life. We had the most intimate ceremony with just our immediate family and closest friends followed by a little party in our backyard. No, it wasn’t the wedding that I dreamed of, but in the end it was our story and it was absolutely perfect. I wouldn’t do it over for the world.

We spent less than a month living together as husband and wife before he left home on July 5th.

In August, I was fortunate enough to travel abroad for the second time and took a girls trip to Ireland and Scotland. It was a wonderful trip and something I will never, ever forget.

The week after I got back from Ireland, I traveled to D.C. for the first time ever to visit Zack where he was stationed. I saw the monuments and all the sights. Definitely a memorable trip as well.

In the days that followed my world got turned upside down for a second time when a routine trip to the doctor’s office turned into much more. I went through weeks of medical testing and a lot of uncertainty. I was referred to an oncologist where more testing was done. It was a cancer scare and again my whole future was called into question. Thankfully, the tests came back clean. I’m still due to follow up with the oncologist in early January for more blood work but given the results of the tests, the threat is very minimal.

I visited D.C. a second time. Zack left the country. I got a new kitten. I got a new car.

I think rollercoaster is a good word for it.

Needless to say, I’m ready for more steadiness in 2018. I welcome many more positive and up things, but the lows have been pretty shitty in 2017 so I could use a more smooth and steady year. I think it will be a big one too though, for other reasons. I have big plans and goals and things to accomplish. Yeah, the resolutions are starting again. Although I’m kind of over using that word – it just seems to have negative connotations associated with it. Is goals better?

Anyway, I’m making a list. There are a few things that I want to get done or get into the habit of doing better this year. Things I want to improve on. In addition to that, there are things that aren’t necessarily goals for me, but that I think will happen … like, say, getting pregnant? Definitely not a goal, but I think it’s in the stars for 2018.

We will see. Bring it, 2018 – I’m coming for you!

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defunctblogtobedeleted · 7 years

Text

6/11/17, 1:41am - post vacation

It’s been two weeks since I last wrote. Goddamn it feels like months.

The day after saturday.... So Sunday my family shows up at my place, mom immediately starts going through my shit until I start yelling and smacking her on the back of the head. Definitely not a good note to start off on.

The trip was pretty fucking great. Idk if they’re highlights but I just wanna ramble off a bunch of memories. Ate at Cracker Barrel on the way down because Trusten always felt left out when me and Tessa would go eat there with my dad. Little did he know that was my least favorite place he would take us, but it was a nice dinner nonetheless lmao. The subject of my vasectomy became a huge topic all trip, partially because I had to bring up trying to keep my shit from getting infected whenever we would go swimming. Immediately jumped into the beach though it was fantastic. The water was beautifully clear and so warm, like taking a bath. Got to know my cousins a lot better. Christina is great, but also made me happy I’m not about to have a kid at my age. Got to see my aunts and stuff too, I can’t rag on her too hard because one has cancer, but they were talking about some pseudo-spiritualism-science for a long time and I just had to smile and keep my mouth shut for a while. “I’ve read it takes 48 days for the spirit of the deceased to reach the heavens. And it takes 48 days for a developing baby to be imbued with the spirit. Coincidence??” yeah idk lmfao. Great dance party with the fam though lol. Tessa’s looking unhealthily skinny but tremendously happy. I’m glad she’s back and done with her crazy dieting. Puts me to shame, tbh. Kinda makes me want to go a little harder and finish trimming off my fat but I’ve got more healthy plans I’m gonna start working on I think. Saw danni and her new gf, she cut my hair and gave me a new dye job. Was frustrated that I had to have so much cut off because I wanted to keep growing it out, but it Does look pretty fucking great and I have faith in her regardless lol. Smoked with her and grandpa and mom and talked about a whole bunch of shit. Tried to explain about how I treasure my personal time way more than investing my time into growing my wealth, had to try and do it without giving him shit for spending all his time trying to make money and not having any of it left to himself after the divorce. Also asked if he was gay and he said nah so that puts that to bed lmaooo. we went out to the Keys and that was kind of a disaster. I always kinda romanticized the thought of them when I was a kid, remembering like bright white sandy beaches and beautiful water, but there’s actually not much of that at all down there. The beach we went to smelt like rot. It was beautiful but covered in seagrass and very shallow, me and tessa and tav and trusten had a nice time of swimming against the current together joking about shit. Made a nice dinner of fried salmon and asparagus for my little brothers. Felt nice to cook again, should probably do more of that. Things boiled over with my mom when she kept fucking with the other food I picked out for us. Wasted a whole pack of bacon out of spite and so I flipped shit and decided I was done with them. Spent a day playing video games and tanning and laying around, was probably best to heal up my nuts anyway lol. We left the keys a day early because of it, but not before we got to watch this tenacious D video that they had. No wifi lol. Lessee. Came back up, saw gabbi and I think I like her new bf. They seem pretty good together, but I tried to warn them to not nitipick each other to death now that they’re moving in together. Good luck lmfao. Drank 9 beers and a cider with my uncle DJ and cousin Dom and his girlfriend was cute too, I shared wayyy too much about my life, told half my family about how I had my friends photograph me fucking at the old well, but ate some delicious fucking italian cooking and had a wonderful night. Smoked with DJ and mom and listened to their old stories of growing up as kids and getting into trouble for smoking and stuff. Oh and right before the keys I started binge watching Doctor Who. Since Katy went and watched every single episode of rick and morty in one night I asked her what her favorite show was that I could do. Doctor Who is a Little more involved, but I’ve gotta say it’s fucking incredible. Fell in love with it within minutes, had me giggling like an idiot all week. I’d stay up til like 7am watching episodes, get a few hours of sleep and then try to do whatever everyone else was though by the end of the trip it wasn’t much. The drive home wasn’t very eventful, me and mom split it, and it ended at a nice pit stop at dar and pa’s for some pancakes and a nap before I had to head home. Was trying to do a melee tournament and see katy and found out I needed to get my tire fixed, but then costco was going to take too long and so would melee so I just got back to greensboro and had a nice night of watching adventure time and a little sex and cuddles. Pretty fucking solid vacation despite the fighting with the fam, not gonna lie. Plus this is like the first time I look really not-fat in beach pictures, it’s kinda incredible.

So Katy... I spent a lot of time talking to Katy. We’ve at least snapchatted every day for the past month now, but haven’t had another drunk convo like when I was at the lake. After seeing her when I got back on monday I also spent the night with her again weds, and we’ve been bingewatching Adventure Time from the beginning and I took her out to eat at Smith Street Diner, it’s all been fantastic. But she couldn’t see me tuesday because she had another guy friend over (and another on thursday, but I was at work anyway lol). So I get kinda jealous that she has this beautiful ass kid and all these other guys wanting to fuck her, mostly because I don’t have other people or a very decent schedule to hook up right now, orr even get to go out drinking with her. Feelsbadman. It also feels like it’d be too much work/money to try to get a side chick anyway, and plus, melee is my real side hoe let’s not kid ourselves.. [speaking of which, the day I couldn’t see her I kicked ass at melee and won a little money, so that was pretty fucking great.] She’s amazing to spend time with and she gave me a toothbrush to keep in her bathroom and I love cuddling up with her beautiful body, but tbh she’s pretty standoffish whenever I try to get too intimate in person (mostly trying to kiss her too much), and when she refuses to send me a message back because she’s with somebody else I can’t help but shake this feeling like I’m not good enough for her... Feelings are stupid. I worry about going too hard too fast with her, but every time I’ve gone too far off the deep end she’s been able to laugh it off, which I think is incredible. Definitely should have scared her off with the shit I was saying about trying to make her fall in love with me (and not vice versa, for the record, because I still don’t have any feelings <:^D ) when I was 10 drinks deep, but somehow she even laughed that off. Plus she’s fantastically nerdy and exposed me to doctor who and this show is like my favorite shit right now lmao. I’ve just wrapped up the fourth season, which is about 37 hours of watching within the past two weeks.. It’s so fucking goooood, man. She told me all I had to do was catch up to her at the 12th doctor but I wanna go back and watch all the old stuff after that, too. so like 56/835 episodes done so far so good lmaoo. Anyway. Idk I just hope I get to spend a lot more time with her doing cool shit. I don’t know what I am to her, so I have no idea if this is gonna go anywhere, but it really doesn’t matter all that much to me anyway. I just enjoy hanging out with her, and she got me to quit smoking cigarettes completely, and now I’m watching this wonderful show instead of wasting my fucking life bored on twitch streams, and I’m even actually starting to get motivated to start exercising again. And the sex is greattttt lmaooo. So I want to spend as much time with her as possible. It’s pretty gay, not gonna lie, but that’s where I’m at right now. Idk why I’ve always needed some cute girlie to help motivate me to get my shit done, though. Personal flaws...

OH HOLY FUCK so this week was the most productive week ever though, because not only did I manage to get laid and place 3rd in melee this week, I also FINALLY got to take the exam for my RPSGT!! The day I was originally scheduled for was a shit show, I drove 2 hours out to fayetteville and found out they had fucked up my registration and I didn’t get to take it that day after waiting for hours to see if they could fix it, but luckily I was able to get rescheduled for the day after, so I left Katy’s place to go to Durham and took it at 8am thursday. I was fucking sweating a little, not gonna lie. They were asking me all sorts of questions about pediatric sleep medicine that I wasn’t quite prepared for, and some of the scoring questions were confusing to me, but I managed to pass! So now I finalllllllllly have made it to become a real sleep tech. Gonna get that fat raise and finally get to a point where I can stop worrying about money, it’s fucking phenomenal.

So I’m so fucking ready to get off work... Gonna go back to raleigh today and see fonzi and frankie and maybe johnny so that’s gonna be sick. There’s this new melee mod that came out so I’m thinking about getting a soldering iron and fucking with my controller, maybe I’ll actually be good at this game lol. Dunno when I’m hanging with katy next hopefully every day lmfaooo. I guess I’ll update when I update.

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