#anyway just a tag post venting thing

[thevioletcaptain]

.

[waterfallofspace]

Feeling sad and lonely? Like you don't have a purpose in life, and no one cares about you?

No more! Starting today, instead of sitting around feeling sad, try Thinking About Your Favourite Fictional Characters Sneezing!

Not sure what to do with your life? Your blorbo stifling an allergy fit!

Lonely and craving human connection? Your lil guy getting induced by a kink!partner!

The days and nights seem to move by in an ever-flowing passage of time that you're just swept along in? They have a sneezy cold and need to be taken care of!

Instead of Sad, try Sneeze instead!

[Available wherever your brain will be merciful and let you dissociate, results may vary, use with caution, side effects may include: h*rny thoughts, snz headcanons, craving more canon snz, and the eventual & inevitable loneliness returning as you realize they are still fictional]

[oh-no-its-bird]

On top of everything else that's happened in the last month or so

(girlfriend breaking up with me / me running off in the night w the friend I was supposed to be maid of honor with bc her (now ex) fiance came home drunk and scared us, while ofc we also both were in swimsuits and had like NO money or even shoes due to incredibly poor timing / Getting stuck in Dallas for TWO MONTHS longer than I meant to be due to bullshit work transfer systems (and admitedly my own inability to remember that deadlines exist) / that same friend going BACK to her shit boyfriend alone to a city 4 hours away from anyone she may call for help if things go wrong / me now no longer having a place in dallas to stay for these next 2 months bc I was SUPPOSED to stay with that friend but her bastard boyfriend doesn't want me in his house anymore bc he knows I'd tell his girlfriend to dump his ass)

I have now lost my fucking house keys.

Anyways I may or may not be way less active for a bit so this is the formal apology and explanation for that. Sorry guys, we are NOT going back to ur normally scheduled rapid fire ninja content as promised for like. A minute. Possibly. We'll see. Sometimes my own motivation wave surprises me.

Tbh it's my own fault for daring to become a fanfic author tbh. Should have known the "sorry I didn't update, my house burned down teehee <3" curse would come for my ass

[pokemonblack3white3]

Girlies I have got to stop feeling guilty about creating art I enjoy

[emberglowfox]

closing time

[angelsdean]

don't know how people multi-fandom. dipped my toe into another one and immediately backed out bc everyone there was insufferable.

[muirmarie]

Me: I joke about writing the same McCoy centric story over and over again in different ways

Me: and like. I love doing it and imma keep doing it because it makes me happy.

Me: but also. I do sometimes wonder if it's like. A little Much.

Me: like maybe I should branch out or something

Me: [reads another fundamental and extremely insulting misread of McCoy's character by someone who is clearly making a Choice to cast McCoy as the villain, because they have to get him out of the way of spirk, because they're too???? idk immature??? to realize that even when you're in a relationship with one person, other ppl can and SHOULD still be important to you]

Me: lmao I hope I AM too much actually!!!! I hope it is 100% obnoxious how much I love that doctor!!!!! Time to write more versions of the same story of McCoy being forced to realize that he is loved and cared for!!!!!!

Me: I KNOW MY NICHE AND IMMA DIE IN THAT NICHE, THANKS

[sieglinde-freud]

oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng

[ironicsoap]

you are expendable, you are not expected to return

[internetdruid]

Evening, ladies

[starheirxero]

Oh my GOD y'all I just saw a post and it made me feel vindicated about something I totally forgot bc it was like. "People act like doing a lot of things (drinking, partying, having sex, etc) while having schizophrenia is a bad thing" and like. Goddd I don't know if y'all remember this, but yk how Sun having schizophrenia was a topic for a while bc of Sun's hallucinations?

Do you guys also remember like. that someone made a post saying that Sun should not have been drinking wine at all because of his schizophrenia??? And how they were very firm that Sun was making his disorder, like, worse? by drinking???

Cuz. I remember thinking it was so weird to assume that, despite Sun insisting "no, I haven't even been drinking enough to get proper drunk, it's not a problem and I'll even cut back because people are getting worried," they were so sure that Sun was just totally throwing himself down the drain bc schizophrenic people Shouldn't be drinking at all. apparently.

And I just. It's so weird remembering that bc wow, that really Was a kinda trashy take huh? Like maybe for some folks, if they drink, their hallucinations or their delusions will get worse yk? But. That's not a guarantee. A schizophrenic person knowing their boundaries with alcohol shouldn't still be seen as this deeply tragic thing. Like wow, you're not really viewing schizophrenic people as People, are you 🤨

[scintillating-scales]

I mentioned in a previous post that trauma and neurodivergence has influenced my nonhumanity. It's honestly a big part of why I've gone back and forth on whether or not I really am nonhuman, or if it's just like. A trauma response/coping mechanism. I know when I was very young, I liked to imagine myself as a dragon, and wished so much to become one. After all, being a dragon means you're big and strong and powerful and nobody can hurt you. And if you ever do fear for your safety, you can simply fly away. Being a dragon meant safety, and that was important to me, because I didn't feel it much as a human.

It's also a way to sortof reclaim the emotional isolation I've faced my entire life. Part of my particular brand of neurodivergence is my inability to connect with anyone, and my very low empathy. I don't know if I was born like this, or if it was stripped from me after a childhood full of neglect and solitude. But it's something I've had to come to terms with and learn to live with. Dragons in my mind are very solitary. Of course there are dragons who are social and feel things very deeply and have close-knit families. But I am not one of them. I'm the type to hold my own territory and immerse myself in whatever matters concern myself and myself alone, without care for the world beyond.

Then the trauma I experienced later as a young teen served to dehumanize me completely, and further divided me from the very few people I would've considered myself 'close' to. All the shame from what I went through manifested in a sense of deep self-loathing, that has never really gone away, and has only made me acutely aware of how inhuman and monstrous I am. Being a dragon then was less about safety, and more about embracing the alien, predatory sense of self I had. That specifically, in conjunction with my inability to connect, has created the very reptilian form I take. Nothing about me is soft or mammalian, and it feels wrong to ascribe any traits of that to what I am.

Because of all of my 'issues', every interaction I have involves masking. I like to think I'm pretty good at it. I come off as charismatic to those around me. But it's draining, unnatural, and it makes me feel even more like an impostor; like a coiled, tense predator. A dragon has no expectations of the sort. It can be distant and isolated and callous, with no mincing of words or faux platitudes. It can be vicious even, with no 'violation' of how a dragon is meant to be. It may be resented for its nature, of course. But it is no less draconic for it.

Ultimately, my draconity may only be a product of the hand I was dealt in life. A way to cope with an isolated experience. But my identity has been draconic for so long, I don't think I can dismiss it, even if it's not the typical experience for nonhumans.

[mysticalcats]

ok fellas this post is really different from my other stuff so i'm putting it under the cut for people who don't care and also because i'm slightly embarrassed

ok so. is it unusual for a girl to want to have a deep voice and a flat chest and a more square face and also feel slightly jealous of men and want to sound like them and look like them

and also is it unusual to want to be all that, but also simultaneously not be very bothered very much by how you look right now or by being referred to with she/her except for sometimes when you think about it too much. because i usually don't think about it except for sometimes where i suddenly just get really sad about being a girl or i'll always have this faint feeling that i am just unhappy about it

and also is it unusual to try to ignore it and go about your life being unbothered by it even though deep down it does kinda bother you but you can't really. like. say anything to anyone because your family won't react well and neither will your friends because they'll think it's weird and uncomfortable. i feel afraid to ever feel this way because i know the people in my life won't react well to it

so like. genuine question please lmk wtf is goin on because i'm unsure if it's normal and i've felt like this for a long time and it's confusing me and i don't even know what i'm going to do with the information once i know i'm just sort of lost LMAO

[angelpuns]

Me looking at the super long definitely TMI diary-type vent post in my drafts: haha yeah you're gonna live there forever until I delete you <3

[torchickentacos]

One of my charcoal sketches wasn't quite good enough to use for my art course, but I really liked it despite its issues so I took a picture of it and finished it digitally :) Warmer weather and snake season is approaching us! Great news for me personally.

Sketch under cut, 18x24 light green Strathmore pastel paper and willow charcoal

[sttoru]

idk who needs to hear this but write what the fuck u want man 😭😭 drabbles & long fics about whatevaaaaa. jus do what YOU want, not because you feel obligated to