#anyway time to sleep more because that means im not noticing my pain

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

[yuyu1024]

Fate

Pairings: Yoongi × y/n

Genre/tags: Arranged marriage

Warning: 🔞🔞🔞 mention of blood/violence/drugs/trafficing, trauma, mention of killing, kidnapping, gun, mention of food/eating/weight, cursing, sensual touching, making out smoking, smut (but not this chapter)

~~~~[lmk if i miss anything]

Words: 5.2k

Disclaimer:

- this story is just made up

- english is not my first language, please be nice 😊

Note:

Part 1 - Prisoner

Part 2 - Escape

Part 3 - Twilight

Part 4 - Fate

A/N: again... im really sorry for being a slow writer/update for this mini series🙏🏻 i can't help it. 😭 I do get msgs asking for updates & i feel bad... so sorry 🥹 I try my best to have time to get into the story/characters whenever i have free time. I work full time and have a 2nd job too so it takes all my energy. I'm really... really sorry.😭

But yeaah, thank you for everyone liking my yoongi fanfic. 🖤🫶🏻 thank you for the patience😭

I hope this chapter is okay ♥️

****

(Prologue/Flashback)

"Sshh..." she covers your mouth for you to stay quiet and not make any noise. She reminds you constantly to keep it together or else they will find you. "Just a little bit more, Yoongi." She whispers. "Calm down..."

You try your best to do what she says because you want you guys to survive this. To escape. However you are a kid and you are terrified. And you can't stop yourself from shaking like a twig. Also you are rapidly breathing through your nose. Tears even start to fill your eyes as you look into her eyes.

"You'll be fine..." she says to you. "Noona, will protect you."

"I'm scared..." You whisper grabbing onto her long braided hair.

You two are a few inches apart. If she could only embrace you, she will. However there are metal bars between you two and she is.... injured.

"Me too." She wants to cry to as she must be as scared as you or maybe, more. But since she's the eldest between the two of you she have to be brave for you. "Just go to sleep... I promise... the moment you wake up...when the sun is shining after the storm tonight... we'll be safe... we'll already be at home..."

"P-promise?"

She tries her best to not break down because she knows that she's promising something that's very unrealistic in your situation right now. Both of you are held captives, kidnapped and waiting to be saved.

"I promise." She sniffs "Just hold onto this for now..." she meant her hair and then reaches her hand to you slowly even it's causing too much pain for her. "Go to sleep... Noona will be right here..." the tip of her fingers barely touched your cheek. "I will protect you..." she adds

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

[Present]

The silence between you two is very deafening. Even the staffs at the mansion notices how both of you are very distant to each other.

Odd right? They should be used to this situation since Yoongi is the silent type or the one who does not talk that much especially to you.

However for you, maybe this is out of character as every one is not used to you being like this. Well THIS silent anyway.

You usually talk and greet them or make small talks with them or Yoongi even if it's just a random question to make him just...talk. You do anything to make him speak to you. You make small efforts to chase his attention just to get him look back at you per say. Like a dog.

But now, since he made sure to leave you the moment you got vulnerable with him during sex and mentioned a feeling you have, which in the first place you had no idea you have, really hurt you this time. Big time. It is a rejection that you never thought would bother you this much.

"You two are awfully quiet." Mrs. Min says as soon as she puts down her cup of coffee on the table. "You two are both quiet originally... I know... but..." she looks at you and Yoongi back and forth twice. "Did you guys had a fight?"

No one answers.

"Guessing...silence means yes?" Mrs. Min looks at us again, hoping someone will speak up. "What did you do?" She asks Yoongi.

But he didn't open his mouth to speak. He just continued on chewing on his breakfast while his eyes are glued to you.

He has been eyeing you since the two of you left the mansion. He have been silently watching you move along, react and walk from your back. You don't notice it as you are trying to achieve to ignore him completely today. And so far, you are a gold medalist at it. You don't even bat an eye on him.

"Fine... not gonna ask anymore questions..." Mrs. Min gives up. "Anyways, after this lunch... I'll have a meeting with Hannah."

Yoongi flinches, finally reacting and gets interested to whatever his mother is saying. "What for?"

"About the private resort project that she is building... she wants my opinion about what brands to use for the decorations. She have a final lists of candidates of brands and she wants to know my say to it."

"Really...."

"Yes... and as soon as it opens... she says you two can go there... and celebrate... as her gift. Since she missed going to your wedding."

"Celebrate?" You finally spoke after how many years. Even Yoongi whip his head to look at you.

"Yes dear," Mrs. Min smiles so brightly and holds your hand. "You're 2nd anniversary... next month... right?"

"Ah, yes... right." You try to smile it away. But deep inside, you are not looking forward to it.

Why would you? Last year Yoongi didn't even greeted you Happy Anniversary. He probably didn't care back then so why would he care now and celebrate this year? This marriage is nothing to him.

"Is she coming here?" Yoongi asks his mother, changing back the subject to Hannah

"No... I am meeting her at her office."

You are holding on for dear life on your gold medal for 'Ignoring my husband award'. You are so curious to look at him. To see his beautiful face, how he reacts when they talk about her. Hannah. The girl you saw more than a year ago. The girl you saw on the driveway, talking to your husband while she hooked her arms on his'. The girl that Yoongi seems interested about. The girl he seems to.... like.

"How about you guys? What are your plans today after our brunch?" Mrs. Min asks

"Hmm.." he sighs heavily and then takes his phone from the table. "Probably fuck my wife " Yoongi answers nonchalantly making you and Mrs. Min almost choke on nothing. That sentence made you even look at him with wide eyes and red cheeks.

"Omo..." Mrs. Min is too stunned to even comprehend what she just heard. "Well... okay... too much information but..." she then takes a sip of her coffee. "You do you."

"I'm sorry..." you apologize to your mother-in-law.

You are embarassed. This topic should be a private matter. Everyone in the mansion already seem to have the idea what you two do on a regular basis but you do hope that outside, no one has to know.

It's not that you are embarassed of having a sex life. It's normal. Yes. But to have to talk about it to his parents, oh dear god, no.

"Why are you apologizing?" Yoongi's face looks so damn serious. "We are husband and wife right?"

You scowl at Him. You don't like how he acts or portrays like sex is just a hobby for him and it's nothing to be embarassed about. Especially in front of his mother while you are present. He really does not treat you like you have any feelings. He is evil.

"Okay... children...children... don't fight about this... it's okay. You already have issues before we got here so... it's fine." Mrs. Min tries to sooth the situation up.

She's so nice to try. Though she does not know the real reason why there is a huge distance between you two today. It's not that simple. You don't even know if she knows how his son treats you.

***

"Sir." Mr. Kim bows as both Yoongi and you arrives at the driveway, about to leave Mrs. Min's property.

"Get in." He orders you

You glare at him then roll your eyes away. You are in no mood now. You have scowled at him earlier already so why not do it more now that he is irritating you.

"Hold on..." he suddenly grabs you by the arm, stopping you from getting in the car. "Did you just fucking roll your eyes at me?" He scoffs

You try your best to pull your arms from his grip but he is stronger than you. "Let me go." You grunt

"What are you doing?" He asks, "You've been.... acting up lately..."

"I don't know...what you're talking about..." you finally freed yourself from his grip.

"Don't act innocent on me... I know you."

"Know me?" You snap. "How? We barely talked these past two years... You only look for me when you want something done and someone to fuck...besides that, I am nothing to you. So how the fuck will you know me?"

Finally! You've said something. However you can't lie to yourself how terrified you are right now. Your legs are shaking. You have never risen your voice like this before. Not with him. Plus Yoongi is so freaking silent. There was no reaction from him not like Mr. Kim who just coughed because of the sudden tension.

Is he in shock? He must be surprised to hear you speak out after all this time. He had never heard you talk like this before. You can't even read his expression. He is just looking down at you, straight on.

"Ahm... Sir... Miss... I'll leave you two... alone." Mr. Kim finally broke the awkward silence. "Just message me if... we're going home."

You glance at him and bow. Also giving an apologetic look since the situation got a bit serious.

And as soon as Mr. Kim is gone from our sight, Yoongi takes a step forward closer to you, making you back up and your behind bumping on the car. "Is that... what you think?"

You glare up at him. "Yes."

"You think... I don't know you?"

"Yes."

He chuckles. "I know you more than you know..."

You frown. "You only see me when you are horny... you don't even talk to me unless to I ask you... unless you tell me what to do and what not to do... so, how would you know anything about me...?"

He scrunches his face. He looks irritated "I see you more than you think." He mumbles. And then he took a step back and looks at you and watch you tremble,"Do you regret it?" He asks

"W-what? Regret what?"

"The sex... do you regret it?"

"W-what? What do you mean...?"

He then puts both his hands on the car, trapping you between. "Just answer the question... do you hate and regret the sex?"

You look away. "No...."

"Do you want us to stop fucking?"

You sigh heavily. "Why are you focusing on the sex?!?" Your brows are furrowed. You are really showing your frustration. "It's not about the sex, Yoongi! There is nothing wrong with the sex... what I just want is... I just..." you look back at his face and you see an empty expression from him. Does he not get what you are saying or is he ignoring the other parts of what you told him. That the only thing he thinks about is your sex life. "Never mind..." you lower your gaze. "It's not like my opinion matter..."

"Y/N..." Yoongi begins. You look back st him waiting for whatever he's about to say. You think he was about to response to you or maybe say what is on his mind as well. (Maybe.) However, both of you got suddenly distracted by the honk of a black sedan car entering the property.

You have seen that car before. It is familiar. And then when it stops and someone steps out of the car...

"Yoongi?" The woman that came out of the passenger seat, is Hannah. "What are you doing here?"

She is smiling ear to ear. Her smile is as bright as her tear drop pear earrings that is perfectly shown under her tucked bob hair. She's... so pretty.

"Oh... Hi..." she waves at you when she finally notices you

"Hi." You try to smile as brightly as you can.

"You must be Yoongi's beautiful wife." She is sweet. She looks like a friendly and easy going person. "I'm Hannah by the way... I'm Yoongi's friend since we're... toddlers..."

"Nice to meet you." You bow

"What are you doing here? Mother said..."

"Ah... yes... we we're supposed to meet at my office but I just came from another meeting and since we will pass by the house I decided to just meet her now..." she explains

"She must be in her room now.. preparing to meet you."

"Oh. I see... well, I guess I'll just surprise her." She grins. "Are you guys leaving?"

"Yeah... we just had brunch with her..."

Fuck. What is going on?

Just a second ago, you're having a serious confrontation with your husband. You guys are about to talk about the situation between you two. Yes, it may not be the ideal 'talk' but it is a start. But then, here you are. Hannah arrived and stole his full attention. Literally, she have all his eyes and ears. You suddenly became a shadow.

Then you are also hearing Yoongi converse. You are hearing how is he when he's not alone with you. You are hearing a side of him that you are not familiar with. 'Fuck Y/N, stop it.' You say yourself

Maybe, you just need to stop. Just stop complaining about his attention and him not liking you. Maybe he is not the problem. Maybe.. it's you? They forced him to marry and got stucked with you. YOU are the problem. You are NOT the person he wanted to marry. You just got selected just because.

You are the problem. As always. Like what everybody says to you.

"I'll just email you my thoughts after..." Hannah says

"Why not discuss it now?" Yoongi suggests

"Hmm...but you're about to leave..." she glances at you

"It's okay." Yoongi then pulls out his phone and messages someone. "I asked Mr. Kim to come... wait for him... I'll be quick." He says to you

You look at him for a second before you turn your back on him. "Sure." You sound lifeless. You sounded like you've given up already.

"Y-yoongi... you're going to make her wait?" She whispers to him but you care definitely hear it

"Let's make it quick. I don't want to work over the weekend."

He's more worried of working on the weekend but not making you stay and wait all alone.

They start to walk away. You could see their reflection through the windows of the car.

They left you alone.

He left you alone.

Then as you are standing there, waiting for Mr. Kim to come back, you slightly bend over your torso, holding onto the yourself as soon as you felt a little uncomfortable feeling on your lower abdomen. It's not painful but it is a bit of discomfort.

"Fuck..." you hiss under your breathe.

You should be careful now. Atleast until it's fully confirmed. Yes, you are pregnant. Well, that's what the PT told you a few days ago.

You took the test, in your bathroom, scared and shaking like a twig. You have never felt this terrified in your life. Ever. And the freaking 3mins of waiting felt like forever whilst you are in there, sitting on the floor.

But yeah, after the torture of waiting, the test did show two lines. It was a faint but it is positive. And during that moment, your world suddenly stopped spinning. You had to gather your thoughts and emotion within the span of 30mins that you have. (Because your maid will enter your bathroom to help you get ready after 30mins). That was one other toture you had to endure. And to add more spice on this never ending problem is that you were all ALONE. You had no one to hold hands or hug for moral support.

You are, all by yourself.

After testing, you did processed the result in your mind and managed to get back right to reality and decide by yourself to be... okay. To take it as another good day. Because this is not something bad. It is a miracle. It's a life.

Though, you can't lie. It was a whirlwind of emotion. And you don't know what to feel yet about it. You are not even sure if you are able to share it with anyone, even Yoongi since you still need to see a doctor to really confirm it.

Confirmation.

You fucking need that final 'yes you are pregnant'. Because your further decisions in life will revovle around that one thing. Decisions that might affect this marriage and basically affect your whole life. So, you really have to find a way to get a doctor's appointment in secret. For now...

"Miss?" Mr. Kim arrives and sees you slouching, "Is everything alright?"

You turn around, stands up straight and smile. "Yes..."

"Are you hurt?" He asks

"I'm fine... but I just think... my stomach feels heavy a bit from eating... I did ate quite a bit." You lie.

"Okay, let me bring you home quick so you could rest." He says

"Thank you."

****

[Yoongi's side]

Yoongi can't sleep. He got home earlier just an hour after Y/N got home. He asked the maids to call her, to have dinner with him, but unfortunately Y/N was already fast asleep.

He waited for her to wake up from what he thinks is just a quick nap. But whenever he asks the maid if she's up, they just shake their head and say sorry.

They fought. He thinks. It felt like they fought. It's his first time hearing her talk to him like that. She have been always timid and her patience with him is very long. However, she finally have had it.

How can you make your wife, who is clearly showing you that she's falling in love with you, start to hate you?

Well, Yoongi knows what he did and is doing to her. He is very controlling, cold and distant. And these are the traits that can't be part of your life especially of you are married. However, this is how he is. As a child no, but ever since the incident happen fifteen years ago, the trauma and the life he had to put through made him, This.

Outsiders might call him as the devil or the punisher of the Min Family because of all the work he is doing inside the office and outside. He is a fighter and his hands are always covered with blood. Though what he's doing is not a crime. The Min's business is not illegal. They control everything that they can do end everything that is illegal in the most legal way possible. If that makes sense.

They were just a business before. A typical rich family. But yeah, since what had happened to them years ago, they changed their rules and how they do it now.

And that's why Yoongi have this cold exterior. He needs to show to everyone who's watching him that he can't falter. That no one could try to even break him like how those monsters break his father. How those monster took them and made them hostages.

10 million. That's all it takes, for some uneducated humans do the most horrendous thing in this world. To hurt and kill an innocent child. A 16yrs old girl and a 14yr old boy.

Their parents were willing to give the money and even more, just for them to surrender their children. However, the fear in them when they know that the children saw their faces, made them decide to end it all.

Yuna, his older sister, sacrificed her life to save Yoongi. She is one brave young lady. She managed to push his brother just in time to fall on the edge, to roll down small hill and get away through the woods. She got shot and died on the spot. Yoongi saw everything but didn't had the time to grieve then and there because he had to survive yet. To run.

It took two more days before he was found. How he survived? No one knows. But since that day, the happy and cheerful little boy grew up and became the cold Yoongi everyone knows now.

He knows that what he have been through is not an excuse to treat his wife so coldy like this. She was only forced the marry him. She didn't even know him. Which is his fault as well because he didn't allow her to enter his bubble. Up to now...

However, through all the times that he have been with her little by little, as per his therapist's words, 'You are slowly breaking.' She said.

She said that before, whenever she asks him about his wife. He is usually nonchalant or indifferent. Like he's just talking about someone he randomly met. But then one day, the therapists said, she saw a glimpse of change in his eyes the moment she asks about his wife. His expression is the same but his eyes started to shift like he's thinking about it more before he speaks.

'You care. You just don't know how to show it' she said to him.

At first, When Yoongi heard that from his therapist, he got worried. Not because He is starting to have this feeling for his wife. No. His wife is never and will never be a bad thing that happened to his life. He is worried because, what if he breaks his cold exterious and somewhere out there in the world takes advantage of it and what happened years ago will happen again?

That is his only concern. That is why, he added more men. That's why Y/N can't leavr a house alone. That's why he always tracks her phone wherever she is. That's why he can't sleep without know if she is fine or not.

If only... he never had these issues, these traumas from the past, maybe... it's easier.

"Please... don't quit on me..." he says out loud as he closes his eyes, imagining the smiling face of his wife. "Don't... leave me..." he mutters

****

After what it seems like a very, very long day for you you're finally home. You are so tired that the first thing you did after getting changed is sleep. It feels like this is the longest you've slept in like forever.

You keep turning and waking up every now and then but your body kept forcing you to not wake up. It's like its telling you that you needed this. After all of the worrying you have been having these past few days. This sleep is for you.

But then maybe after hour five of sleeping, you felt something cold touch your skin. It didn't sting. It oddly felt good.

Slowly opening your eyes, you see a blurred figure in front of you. He's so close that you could actually smell his scent. The smell of baby powder.

"Yoongi?" You ask softly as your eyes slowly adjusted to the little light of your lamp shade. But no one answered back. You then rub your eyes to wake yourself up a bit more. Just to be surez you saw what you saw.

No one. There's no one there.

"Did I... just dream about him?" You ask, looking at the ceiling. "But I swear..." you trail off. "How funny... even in my dream... I see him..."

But you swear you smelled his scent. Your imagination of him is getting stronger. Your memory of him is getting move vivid. Even the smell now. That's how longing you are of him.

You miss him. Even though he is there  you miss him. Oddly, you miss the time that both of you are just sitting down together in his home office and just reading. You miss casually asking him questions. You miss hearing him talk even though he's talking about his work and not to you. You miss him even though you just saw him earlier. Even though... he hurt you.

His scent. The scent you really, really like. His smell whenever you two have sex. It's not strong but it's there. Whenever you close your eyes and drift away from the high, you know you are okay as long as you could smell and hear him.

Fuck. Is this how being in love is?

Just thinking about him makes you want to cry. You are frustrated at him but at the same time frustrated to yourself as well. Why is communicating is so hard? You know that's the issue. Both of you are not good with talking nor expressing yourselves. Well, that's what Taehyun told you earlier.

Yeah, you went on a side trip earlier before going home, to meet your friend at his work. You needed someone to talk to and you know Taehyung is always there ready to listen to you.

You poured your heart out earlier, crying and all. You were sorry for disturbing him at work but you needed that cry and that hug. You had to told him your feelings about Yoongi. You have to say it out loud for you to truely understand the situation and yourself.

You needed someone's opinion to point out the obvious so it could stick in to your brain.

Growing up to a family where your opinion does not matter took a toll on you as well. Especially to an adoptive family. A family that only needed you for money.

To them, you always feel left out and does not deserve a voice. They always tell you that they only gave you a roof above your head and food to eat because you are what they needed. A piggy bank.

Your parents died in an accident years ago, when you are just 12yrs old. There was a police chase in the highway that rainy day. Every one is on high alert and giving way. But well, the criminals weren't exactly running away and trying to avoid cars. They hit quite a few vehicles during the chase and one of them was your parent's. The crash caused an explosion, killing them in an instant.

And like any drama stories on TV, yout aunt took you in because of your parent's insurance. They are not big but it is a decent amount. However, they could not actually touch it since it is saved for your education that's why the first month of you staying with them was torture. They beat you, make you work and starve you from time to time because they said, 'you don't deserve to eat unless you work for it'.

One reason why starving yourself was easy for you when you need to.

But then things changed a bit when someone knocked on the door one day and gave your adoptive parents a good amount of money. You remember the man saying 'this is for the trouble and lost we caused your family during our battle for saving our children.' You do remember you aunt, being a good actress that day, crying and all. You even saw them be in a good mood. Everyday because of that money. So since then, whenever you have a part time job or one good seasonal job, you save up and give it to them.

You do this not because you want them to be happy. You do this because you wanted peace for yourself. They will not hurt you if you give them what they need.

This is one reason too why you accepted this marriage. Even though, you know you will have trials too. But atleast you know, no one is going to hurt you physically anymore.

Though, you are having troubles now too.... it is still different. Like you said, it is the communication.

Is it all Yoongi's fault? No. Taehyung said that maybe, since I'm very submissive and him being very dominant, grew up giving orders or not listening to anyone because he is who he is, it affected the talking part in the relationship. Though he cannot say that it is a hundred percent fact. Because he explain, everyone have different stories of growing up and these affects every facet of their whole being when they get old.

Well, that's what you got from all his talk. Half of it, you are numb from all the crying and can't hear properly.

Though that talk with Taehyung,you needed that. Now all you have to do is talk to Yoongi.

If.... you have the courage too.

It is so hard to start a conversation not knowing how he feels about you. It is scary and a risk. But you are hoping it will turn out good especially now that you are expecting.

"Oh, right! The result!" You got up immediately and grab your phone.

You visited Taehyung in the hospital and he got to help you get a blood test to confirm. You forgot to talk to him about the result because you two are busy with doing friend therapy. He said, he'll just email you the result.

But then as you were scrolling scrolling through your emails your stomach growls. "I'm hungry..." you mumble and pause. "Taehyung said that if I am really pregnant... I need to eat properly now..."

And you haven't eaten dinner since you just slept since you came home. You need to eat.

Looking at the time it's pass 10pm already. Everyone must be asleep now or getting to bed so you must go and make yourself food yourself.

"Just one toast." You say as you push your blanket away. "Or two..."

You walk along the hallways as quietly as you can and then take the stairs instead of the elevator, going to the upper ground, so you could not disturb anyone.

There is still minimal light coming from the kitchen area. 'Maybe someone is still there?' You thought to yourself and hoping it is one of the maids so they could help you grab the things in the pantry. Since you don't really know how they organize it.

But then the second you turn to the corner, to enter the doorway

"Ah!" You hit your head first at something. Or at someone

Then after collecting yourself from bumping on someone, you look up to see who it was. "Sorry, I wasn't looking at--"

Fuck! It's not Yoongi nor anyone of the staff.

You tried to run back and scream but it was too late. He was quick to cover your mouth with a cloth. A scented cloth. The smell quickly pierced your nostrils and immediately made you feel dizzy and sleepy.

You are barely awake but you know he carried you over his shoulder. You could see the floor and the lights slowly to flicker. You are about to loose it.

'Help... Someone.... Yoongi... please...' You say to yourself before totally loosing consciousness.

-----

Taglist based on the replies last post 🖤

@gaby-93   @goodbyetwenty   @baechugff

@amyz78   @qeen123   @armystay89   @bangtannie7 @daisies-and-dandelionpuffs @corruptedmistress @ot72025 @cheezwiz

@xkh0  @eli-deville

[segasys]

comic about that one time in my first serv run-

ok so for the full story

I had just visited pebble and decided to take two neurons to moon, meaning I would only have one hand available all throughout the wall, chimney canopy, industrial complex, garbage wastes, and shoreline; which is a total pain in the ass. To add to that, everytime I ate something I would then auto eat the neuron in my left hand, and then I would have to die and reset, because I’m stubborn and was set on doing this. After making it all the way back to moon I picked up the yellow pearl, which is pretty close by, sheltered, and then made my way to moon. I gave her one of the neurons and while she was speaking I spat out the other neuron I had stored, and this is where everything falls to shit. Not realizing, I then swallowed the pearl and then ATE THE NEURON…. I ate it… i spent all that time… just to eat it. I then threw twice to give moon the pearl and neuron, not realizing I was literally throwing nothing, and I got super confused why there was no dialogue for at least the pearl. I checked behind moon and in the water behind her to see if she didn’t catch it, but I still couldn’t find it; so then I left, thinking that maybe the dialogue for the neuron cancelled out the pearl, (mind you, I was also very new to the game and had never given moon a pearl before so I also didn’t know that she gave it back to you after reading) and then I sheltered, which as you know, saves the game. And during the sleeping screen animation I then realized I possibly could’ve swallowed the pearl, which led me to spit it out and, to my horror, come to the final conclusion, that for me to have swallowed the pearl, I must also have eaten the neuron. You can not understand the emotion I felt when I realized that, to have gone through all of the stress of having only one hand available to bring moon two neurons, to then EAT ONE IN THE END!!!! And I also saved so I couldn’t get it back.

Now here me out, you may be wondering how I managed to not notice I ate it, so here’s my explanation: 1. As I’ve said before, throughout the route I would auto eat the neuron whenever I would eat something else, this also applies to swallowing things, since it’s the same action, as well as regurgitating things. So me eating the neuron just automatically happened, I was not pressing eat so I wasn’t expecting me to have eaten it. 2. I wasn’t looking, I was focused on reading dialogue. 3. Even if I was looking I still might not have seen because there’s a bit on moon’s platform that is in the foreground and mostly covers up your scug, so i probably wouldn’t have noticed much. 4. Im pretty sure I was listening to music at this point, so I probably didn’t hear any sound cues if they were too quiet.

anyway this was a huge unnecessary rant, and I still don’t forgive myself for this.

also for my friend in the back, I’ll say it one more time, NO I DID NOT EAT ONE OF MOON’S NEURONS!!!!!!

[lixxpix]

happiness looks good on you- lee felix

summary: you love felix, but he doesn't love you back.

warnings: sad ending, angst!

author's notes: hi everyone<3 this is my first fic, kinda wrote this at like 3am on a whim instead of sleeping but like😭 idk why i made this so sad (is this a sign im depressed or something) but hope u enjoy!! please to comment ur user if u want to be tagged in this or my future posts<3

"happiness looks good on you."

raging storms and unshed tears.

"happiness looks good on you."

heartbreak and rainy days.

"hurry up lix, we're going to be late," you complained, brow furrowed as you stuck your bottom lip out in a pout.

"if you really want to go to school that early just walk there yourself." felix taunted, knowing you were scared to walk alone. he was your long-term best friend, inseparable since kindergarten 'til today.

the two of you argued and bickered on the way to school, throwing insults at each other. by the time the both of you had gotten to school, you were both given a scolding and told to sit down. you glared at him as you were being scolded while he just snickered.

the audacity of this man, honestly . 

by the time class had finished, you had cooled down, just like felix knew you would. otherwise, he could just stick out his bottom lip while you huffed and pretended to be mad. 

"y/n!" he gasped, clutching at your arm, "areum just looked at me!"

he squealed, like a little kid at the toy shop, over his long time crush.

if only you looked at me in that way.

because i do.

"nah, she probably was just looking at someone else." you lied through your teeth, feeling your heart sink.

"hey, stop being mean!! she clearly looked at me," he pouted.

you sighed.

i've loved you for years and you've never noticed.

"well just confess to her already then."

it was painful watching your own crush and best friend fall for someone else, someone that wasn't you. 

you wished, rather selfishly, that areum would reject him. then you could be the shoulder he would cry on. not her. but honestly, you couldn't bring yourself to hate her. what was to hate? she was pretty, got good marks, and was friendly and easygoing. not to say you yourself weren't pretty, but you just weren't as pretty and hardworking as her. 

and you weren't the one he wanted. 

maybe the pain would end if they just ended up together and you were out of the picture. it was obvious she liked him too. 

"you really think i should? but what if i get rejected..."

you're so blind but i still love you.

"yes, how many times do i have to say this, she likes you. it's obvious." you rolled your eyes.

"should i just confess tomorrow? better late than never..." he trailed off, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth.

gods you look so cute when you do that.

"yeah. get her some flowers and write her a note."

why were you breaking your own heart? you didn't know why. maybe you just wanted to end your own heartbreak. 

"good luck with that, anyways i need to go to s house for a project." you actually didn't, but you would do anything to just escape from this.

"why~~are you really just going to leave me alone to plan my big confession by myself," he whined.

"sorry lix, but you'll figure it out." ruffling his hair, you walked out the classroom.

you did, in fact, go home. then sat on your bed and cried until you couldn't  physically squeeze any more tears out of you.  so this was what heartbreak felt like. you had known him since the both of you were ten. you had have multiple crushes here and there, but they were just passing, fleeting moments, nothing of importance. until him.

you didn't know when you had first started to like him. maybe it was that time in the library where he was helping the librarian stack books. maybe it was that time in the rain where he danced in it for hours. 

maybe it was one summer day where your world just exploded in colours. 

and now it felt like it was fading back to grey.

the next day, felix came bouncing up to you.

"i got her peonies, do you think she'll like it? i told her to meet me in the garden."

"yeah, she'll definitely like it. i would've too... " you muttered the last part all to yourself, turning away and blinking rapidly as tears threatened to prick your eyes. you offered him a smile of encouragement. 

"good luck."

when lunch came, you watched as the nervous australian carried the peonies and went to the garden.

then you watched as they walked in ten minutes later, smiling bashfully and holding hands like schoolchildren in love. 

because they were.

you went home, not even bothering to call in sick. you just grabbed your bag and went home. you would deal with the consequences later. 

your heart hurt.

you were numb.

you were hollow.

you were crying.

you hated everything.

the next few days were spent at home. you called in sick. felix texted you countless times but you ignored him.

lixie&lt;3

y/nie?

where r u?

she accepted!!!

im so happy>.<

read at 2:03 a.m.

yeah, right. good for you. but what about me?

lixie&lt;3

...hello?

y/n?

can u please respond...

im worried...

what happened???

why didn't you come to school today??

read at 3:46 p.m.

you turned off your phone then turned over and cried again. you hated this. why did you have to fall for him in the first place?

finally, after four days of missed calls, texts, and school, you had to go back. its not like you had a choice anyways. you missed your parents. they lived overseas though, so you lived alone. but you really couldn't continue living like this for the rest of your life, even if you wanted to.

"y/nie!!!" felix exclaimed, running up to you. "why didn't you respond to my texts? are you okay? it's unlike you..."

"im sorry lix, i was just under the weather. im ok." you offered him a tight lipped smile. "congrats by the way." you closed your locker door and rushed off before he could ask you anything more.

"huh? thats unlike her... why is she acting so weird lately?" 

and so you avoided him, as much as you could. you kept your conversations short and brief, not talking to him as much as possible, and even switching seats to sit far away from him. you watched his hurt face the day he walked in and saw you sitting somewhere else, but then cheering up as areum sat next to him. you watched as he laughed and held hands, ate tteokbokki and ramen with her in the cafeteria. that should've been me.

but honestly, it did nothing to fill the felix-sized hole in your heart.

you drifted apart. he barely texted you now, barely said hi to you, barely even saw you in the hallways anymore. 

then exams were finished, and graduation started to roll around. 

you watched as they attended prom and twirled around on the dance floor giggling.

you watched as they broke up on the doorstep of his dorms, watching as felix's face fell when she dumped him for another guy.

you didn't have the heart to tell him i told you so.

so you busied yourself in your exams, earning a scholarship to your dream university. felix tried reaching out to you several times to rekindle your old friendship, but you would always politely decline, preferring to be detached instead of going through more heartbreak.

you still loved him, but the once burning passion had now been reduced to a soft flicker every now and then, sparking ever so slightly whenever you saw him in the corridors. your own felix-shaped hole in your heart hadn't decreased over the years, but your heart became bigger, expanding so that other people could fit in it. the hole would always be there, but at least there was space for healing.

you turned around in the backseat of your friends' car to see the campus you had once called home fading away into the distance and felix along with it.

goodbye, the wind whispered.

"happiness looks good on you, lix. i hope you make the best of it."

[thoughtsforsoob]

Hiii!I hope that you're doing well!

Can you please write smth about Soobin taking care of you on your period + cuddles at the end?

He looks so soft and cuddly.I just want to squish him so badly.I just want him to hug me to sleep when I am dying due to cramps.

Have a nice day/night<3

a/n: hello anon! thank you for sending this request! im sorry it has taken me so long to get to you but here you go! please enjoy and as always, inbox is open!

soobie is always serious when it comes to your periods. he goes out of his way to make sure you're comfortable and have everything you want and need. he hates when you get embaressed to ask him for things like pads or even snakcs that you're craving because he wants you to feel comfrtable with him. he gives you a pouts when you hesitate to ask him for something and he finally makes you cave and ask for said thing. anyways...

last night, the two of you had a sleep over. soobin had came straight to you apartment after his schedules and you two spent some much needed time together. you watch movies, did face masks, made popcorn and cookies. all the goos stuff you two loved doing together. everything was fine and dandy until the next moring...

you had woken up before soobin and immediately, you knew something was off. your eyes go wide when you realize what's just happened to you. you pull up the blankets and discover evidence your suspicion. there was a small stain of blood on the sheets surrounding your lower half. you started to panic, hoping soobin wouldn't wake up and see the mess you've made. you were thinking he would be disgusted but in the back of your mind, you knew he wouldn't. he would understand.

you try to slip out of bed but obviously, soobin immediately notices what you;re doing and pulls you closer. poor baby was still tired and half asleep so he had no idea why you were trying to get out of bed. "soob? please? i have to go do something." you whine and gently place a kiss on his forehead. he groans and doesn;t let you go, only pulling you closer. "whats wrong hmm? what do you have to do that's more important than my cuddles." he pouts at you with that sleepy look in his eyes still. you think about lying to him but it wouldn't have worked. he would've seen right through you. so, you build up the courage to tell him straightforward. "soobie, i got my period. i kind stained my sheets a little too. it's okay if you wanna get out of bed now. im sorry. it's gross-" he cuts you off with a peck on your lips.

"you're so silly, baby. what do you mean 'gross'? you know i would never think that's gross. it happens. now lets go clean you up and throw these sheets in the wash. okay? im here. you can talk to me. depend on me." soobin smiled at you, his doughy cheeks forming his dimples. you almost reach over to take a bite of his cheek. "you're the sweetest, soob. thank you for not making me feel weird about this."

afterwards, he makes sure you get into a warm shower and let's you have some privacy while you shower. he goes back into the bedroom and takes off the sheet, taking it to your washer and throwing it inside, as well as a towel in the dryer for when you get out of the shower. he grabs a new set of sheets and puts them onto your bed. once he was done, you were finsiing up in the shower so he starts his plan to absolutely baby you the rest of the day. he grabs the warm towel from the dryer and goes to give it to you.

you were happy to see him passing you a warm towel and he even wraps you up and gets you dressed in some plush pjamas you loved. he laughed at the little sleep sheeps printed on them but you didn;t care, they were cute! he suprises you by picking you up off your feet and carrying you all the way back to your bed, that now had fresh sheets. he smiles when he sees the wide eyes you havve due to the changed sheets. "soobie, you did all this? i could've done it myself-" you were cut off by a shot of pain erupting in your tummy. you practiculy cave in and roll into a ball on the bed. soobin frowns, seeing the cramps begining to kick in. "ill be back bubbie. let me get you your pills for those horrible cramps. okay?" you nod up to him and he runs off, coming back in record time with water, your pills, and something to nibble on before and after your pill so you don't feel sick.

once you've taken your pills for the pain, soobin puts your water on the beside table and get's into bed behind you. he pulls you close into his chest and holds you tight. of couse, he also asks if it's okay you rub your belly a bit. "well, if you let me, my hands are kinda warm. maybe some tummy rubs can help?" he learned this from huening, of course, who would rub his hyungs tummy as a joke and when he needed some comfort. if you allow him, he put his big hands on your tummy and rubs away, gently.

overall, he works endlessly to assure your comfort, going to whatever lengths it takes to make sure you're happy and not in too much pain.

[omgwhatchloe]

lets talk about sean macguire, or more specifically, his none-existent recovery and how it affected him before his death.

so as we all know, sean is captured by bounty hunters after the blackwater ship robbery goes horribly wrong. it’s confirmed in a side mission that he was tortured for information, most likely because ike skelding and his crew wanted to be the ones to bring dutch in as well, but he specifically mentions how they burnt his feet and pulled his teeth.

lets start with the affect of them pulling his teeth: it doesn’t take a genius to know ike skeldings bounty hunters are not fully trained dentists with numbing cream and injects, nor did they actually care about any of the long-lasting damage they were doing to sean, since they assumed he’d be getting hung and wanted to have their fun with him. that was the whole point, to torture him because any teeth related pain, i think we can all agree, is the worst of the worst. afterwards, he is seen struggling to eat, i think at least multiple people online have said they have noticed how he will only have one or two bites, or even none at all, and pour away the mostly full stew. i haven’t bothered to focus on anyone else’s eating habits, if im being honest, but i think i really picked up on seans because of the fact hes trying to eat with missing and likely damaged teeth. as we know, no one in camp really bothers to ask him if he’s okay or pick up on this, but this is not surprising as after all they are just codes and scripts and no voice actor has the time to record their characters entire life.

next, the feet burning: the fact they burnt his feet implies to me and gives me the idea that he was hanging from his arms at some point in his time of being captured and they had pretty clear access to his feet (ew). in camp, i did actually notice him walking funny like he was drunk, then having completely sober dialogue while limping along. though of course this game is not without its faults and glitches, and dialogue getting messed up is, in my opinion, one of the most experienced ones throughout the entire game, so perhaps this was him being drunk and accidentally having sober dialogue. but im going to pretend its because they burnt his feet.

his none-existent recovery: i actually spoke about this on a different platform, and compared the recovery that arthur had to the one sean had, which they both deserved, and lets just say some people disagreed. according to them, a party is good enough! despite the fact, sean needs to heal, or at least get the chance to see a doctor, and a party is literally the opposite of healing time. he has just been kidnapped, certain he wasn’t going to make it, getting tortured, and mentally that’s going to fuck with you. but again, no one in camp really cares or notices and he doesn’t get to really actually recover from that. obviously sean was not upset about getting a party in the slightest, dont get me wrong, but for other users to claim that’s all he needs while we’re discussing it just seems a little weird to me. and something that has always upset me is the way he is immediately put back to work, that is what i mean when i say he does not get to recover properly, he is straight back on guard duty. and we all know guard duty involves being on your feet for hours, which is especially bad for poor sean who has just had his feet burnt. seriously, give my man a break (NEWSFLASH: A PARTY IS NOT A BREAK IN THIS SITUATION)

anyways, expect another post about his napping and sleeping habits because i honestly can’t wait to write about that (watch out hosea you’re gunna get slandered)

[hannahwashington]

ALSO IM JUST NOTICING YOUR HEADER IMAGE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH gundham danganronpa and crash bandicoot (is that his name im sorry) real. also btw feel free to talk abt th emountain experience bc i dont think i ever asked yet

YES HIS NAME IS CRASH BANDICOOT ive honestly BEEN waiting for someone to comment on my header it is one of my favourite images ever (thanks @horatios-mom). it's like a sequel to the era when i had lesbian crash bandicoot as my icon. i'm only through the prologue of sdr2 but i have been obsessed with gundham for Years,. i barely know the guy but i love him. i will Know More Soon. and trust i will be So mentally ill about him and also the series. i already Am i am just waiting to finish the games to post about them.

anyway MOUNTAIN EXPERIENCE. OH BOY. where to begin.

let me take you back to a time when a wide-eyed 17 year old Archie got traumatised by a mountain. sit back, relax, and follow along my recounting of an experience i found so horrible, i had to vent by projecting onto my favourite blorbos at the time. Don't worry, I am more than comfortable with sharing this story, and with hindsight know exactly where to direct my anger with what happened.

It's March 2020. I'm in my second-last year of high school. every year my school takes the people in this specific grade to a leadership camp to teach a variety of skills and stuff to prepare them for the next year, when they will be school leaders basically. this leadership camp happens to culminate in a hike up the Drakensberg, where we sleep overnight, then come back down and go back home.

To be Quite frank. I was Very Excited for this trip. the more school-related activities not so much, but getting the chance to hang out with my classmates outside of school and the hike were what excited me. I'm not the most fit person, but i loooove me a good nature walk.

So it's a few days before the hike. they take us out to a bunch of activities and it's pretty fun. we did an adventure park thing and i was in the middle of a massive tarzan fixation so when i went on a giant rope swing i did his iconic yell. there were ziplines. once when i went down a line i forgot to brake and SMACKED into the mattress on the tree. so that was fun. here's the thing though. they made us walk everywhere. and these weren't easy strolls, they were hikes in and of themselves. i can't speak for anyone else, but the days leading up to the hike were PAINFUL. my feet were so fucking sore and we hadn't even gone near the mountain yet.

Then they hit us with the "yeah we're pushing back the hike by a day because it's gonna be pissing buckets tomorrow." which, duh, of course it's gonna be pissing buckets, it's the drakensberg, it's kinda known for that. but also, that means another day of walking, another day of worsening the condition of my feet. i felt like sam from death stranding when you let him walk barefoot everywhere. it's around here where you might start recognising elements from the fic snippets i posted, by the way.

so the next day like the absolute ass he is, the headmaster (who joined us for. some reason) made us hike up a mini-mountain to 'prepare us' or something. he was a horrible person for completely unrelated reasons and this logic is totally and completely backwards. anyway, after THAT nightmare, we went tubing down a nearby river. this WAS fun. i went down the river multiple times even though my feet hurt like shit. i had to get my fleeting joy somewhere during this trip-turned-nightmare. everyone had fun except this one girl who was not lucky at all. at the end of the river there's a small drop and 99% of the time when you get there you fall out of your tube. she was one of these people, and was really unlucky as she ended up cutting her foot on a rock. she had to be pulled out of the river by a few of the boys.

now then you would THINK she would go home because of this. kind of a bad idea to hike up a mountain with a cut up foot. but no, like the madwoman she is, she decides to pull through. i respect her so much for it.

Anyway, next day comes, my feet are basically throbbing so bad it's like my heart practically lived in them, not even to mention the soreness in my legs. again - i was NOT fit. i was so nervous i could barely eat breakfast. i tried to twist it into something positive by being like "tehe i'm going up a mountain like my favourite teenaged blorbs" but it really was Not helping. sooooo we get to the foot of the mountain and get ready to go. a couple of girls left and missed the hike because they had a netball tournament or something. to this day i wonder if they realise Just how lucky they got.

This is the part i remember most vividly. the Worst part. we set off on our mountain adventure, and i repeat this mantra: keep pace with the person in front of you. which goes great for all of two minutes until like a whole five days of walking absolutely nonsensical distances catches up to me and i slow down and down and down until everyone has passed me and oops! i've stopped completely. my legs are Begging to be put out of their misery and i am Rooted To The Spot. to cut a long ass panic attack short eventually someone comes back to pick me back up and Get Me Up This Stupid Mountain. it wasn't sam unfortunately, it was the drama teacher, but he was a pretty cool person and probably most comforting adult there, so perfect to deal with me in that moment.

he tells me about setting little goals for myself, like finding a specific rock and making my way to it. break the whole hike down into thousands of little baby steps. this way, i actually started to make progress, little by little, until we break the tree line. i can't remember if this moment was in the snippets i posted, but i look up and see the rest of my classmates above me, and when they notice us they start whooping and cheering and singing break my stride (which is kinda the theme song of the trip, ngl). i was still kinda in hysterics so i yelled at them to shut up. looking back, i appreciate it so so much. anyways, the drama teacher and i carry on with our baby steps.

when i've calmed down enough i start talking. i can't remember if he told me to talk to get my mind off of things or if i started on my own, but in any case i just start talking. i know specifically i brought up treasure planet - my all time favourite movie - and he told me he hadn't heard of it. another fanfic snippet moment here: i did, in fact, rant to him about midsommar. i remember specifically talking about the daylight horror aspect and how the black bars could've been white instead to emphasise just how bright and sunny the film is. also at some point we passed random people on the road who didn't speak english and for some reason, to this day i still have no idea why, the drama teacher told me that he thinks those dudes were drug smugglers and using the trail to get drugs over the border. anyways.

eventually, after so, so long, we make it to the top. not the end of the hike, far from it, but the vertical climb is over. you see, this specific trail has like two hours of a horrible vertical climb, but after that, it's a basically-flat trail. not that that would make it any easier but anyway, i thought that the worst was over. from our position we could see the rest of the group, who were all resting by a fork in the path - a significant landmark. eventually we catch up to everyone, and if my fic is to be trusted, everyone started clapping and cheering and singing again, this time 500 miles (hardy har). this is one of the only details in the fic where i can't tell whether i made it up or if it's actually based on what happened. when i sat down, guess what, legs wanted to shrivel up and die, what else is new, but what really struck me was that Literally Everyone Was In The Same Position. some were crying. some were staring into space with cold, dead eyes. Nobody was having a good time. how foot-cut girl was even still here was what shocked me the most. again, CUT IN HER FOOT, it was PRETTY SUBSTANTIALLY SIZED. even so she did Not look good.

drama teacher had gone to talk to all the other adults about our (my and the injured girl's) predicament. we were in No position to carry on with the hike. (i'd argue nobody was but i digress). it was a full-blown argument from what i remember, and when the adults tried to talk to us they kept on interrupting each other. one kept trying to offer a way down, but another teacher (who championed this leadership camp btw, to put this into perspective) was Adamant we continue and simply sleep at the closer campsite.

You can probably guess what ended up happening.

The break just honestly made me feel Worse about moving, and my mentality obviously wasn't the best, and i sorta just really started missing home at this point, but i had to keep going. since it was flat this time i could actually keep some sort of pace, though head leadership camp teacher complained whenever i slowed down too much (actual villain of the story in hindsight). eventually we make it to one of the campsites.

Here's how the camps worked. every year the group split into two - boys and girls - and rotated each year on who went to each of the two campsites. one camp was by a river, the other by a cave. so, one year the boys would go to the cave and the girls to the river, and the next year they would switch. this year the girls were supposed to go to the cave. guess what. it's the further camspite - a good extra... i dunno, hour of walking? obviously injured girl and i couldnt do that. issue is, you need a tent to camp riverside - we obviously didnt have one. however someone, an actual god among men brought an extra tent with him. i never spoke to that kid. but he made it so we didn't have to suffer as much. so i hold a sort of affection for him.

so, the group splits and we finally, FINALLY get our chance to rest. properly. let me tell you, river water has never and i mean NEVER felt so good. i think i spent like a solid hour soaking my feet. the boys - who. somehow had energy after all THAT - made a dam out of rocks. one guy was taking pictures. i never took my own pictures of the mountain, even though the view was beautiful. i was in too much pain to care. i took a Single picture related to the hike itself, and i'll share that at the end of this thrilling tale. that evening after dinner, i snacked morosely and watched at least half of happy death day on my phone. maybe an episode of unbreakable kimmy schmidt, though i don't now for sure about that one. injured girl and i shared that extra tent.

oh yeah, and guess what. it ended up pissing buckets during the night. shocker.

anyway the next day comes and the walk back is worse. one of the other teachers decides to use 'tough love' on me - which was basically yelling at me and failing really badly at being encouraging. honestly would have preferred being tossed off the mountain instead because it just made me Very Distressed but anyway. what was nice was that this time for the walk injured girl and i were at the front of the line setting the pace. and also two of the boys, two absolute GENTLEMEN were walking with us and leading us. you know me, i'm a lesbian, but god i could've kissed them for what they did for us. (i did not but you get my point).

surprisingly the vertical climb down was the easiest part. the really, really vertical part anyway - which was mostly near the top. so easy that a few boys raced ahead of the group... and ended up taking a wrong turn and getting lost. more on them later. when we dipped into the treeline it felt like we were so close yet so far, SO close to ending this suffering, but every single turn without the tar road in sight made me fall deeper and deeper into despair. i think i literally yelled out "MERCY!" at some point. anyway when we did finally get to the road i started crying as we made our way back to the bus that would take us home.

everyone started taking showers, blessed, cold showers at the public bathrooms, and washing myself of the whole experience felt Wonderful. except it wasn't quite done insulting me just yet.

So. the day before we put our suitcases in the bus that would take us home. what they neglected to tell us was that we needed Everything we'd need for that day and the following day on our person. which means they wouldn't be taking our bags out of the bus, not even if we REALLY needed something. i didn't have my flip flops on me. i had put the shoes i had hiked in away (and also they were like sopping wet which is disgusting). it was hot as fuck and the parking lot outside was all gravel. i had to walk in that barefoot.

insult to injury.

i got myself ice cream. tried not to cry. we all had to wait for like half an hour as the lost boys made their way back to us (i can't remember if a teacher had to go back onto the path to find them or not). borrowed drama teacher's flip flops which were hilariously oversized. and then, literally RIGHT as everyone was boarding the bus to leave. i whip out my phone and grab the one and only picture i have related to the hike itself.

it was a long drive back to my home province. i put on some music, cuddled my pillow and tried to sleep. i mostly just tried not to sob. out of pain, relief, anguish - whatever. since it was a long drive, we stopped at a strip mall that's a really common sort of stopping station for people doing drives like this, such as to use the bathroom. another school happened to be pulled up as we stopped by here, and a girl gave me the filthiest, most judgmental look i have EVER seen because i was barefoot. i honestly don't blame her.

it was dark by the time we got back to the school. i did, in fact, cry when i saw my family. the very next day - no exaggeration, i'm 99% sure it was the VERY next day - it was announced that schools would be closing and the country would be going into lockdown due to covid. which means i got to spend the next, like, two weeks recovering instead of thinking about school. i think one of the days after i got back i watched interstellar. i was on a bit of a sci-fi kick. it was okay.

here's that picture i took outside the bus before we left for home.

people Did see me take this. a couple of my classmates made jokes about how they relate and at least one gave me a high five.

anyway, that's the story of my Mountain Experience™. again, more than comfortable sharing this story as i think it's quite important with understanding me and we know who to blame for putting us through this. i've had chats with other alumni who came before me and they had their Own nightmarish experiences with this camp, which makes me wonder how it continued being a thing for so long.

[fallingforel]

arabella pt 3- Talk!

masterlist

when the debrief happens and y/n cant find alex anywhere 

warnings- swearing, heartbreak, mentions of cheating, please let me know if there are anymore and I will add them to this list

“look all I’m trying to say George is that maybe we should go over some of the pacts we made and see if some of them need rediscussing or not” “Look just get some sleep matty, we all need rest, lets discuss this better when we’re actually not delusional” the bed being well inflated by now I hug George goodnight retrieving a blanket from the pile of junk on one side of the room. and getting some well-deserved rest.

⋆｡°✩

After a well deserved night of rest from last nights activities its safe to say I was still sore after all Alex and I did have a few rounds, anyway I’m letting my point digress. Right now its currently 1pm and I’ve just woken up to an empty bed, Alex nowhere to be found. The thing that woke me up? George singing a bad rendition of an elvis presley song, probably to get me up to make him and everyone juice. Thats the thing with George, the thing with all the boys really, once they get an idea in their head they literally do not let go, so it looks like im going to have to get up and go on the hunt for alex to ask if he wants a juice and a bacon sandwich because I just know that Ross will be making them, Its what we’ve always done we go on a night out, then the morning after we have bacon sandwiches and juice and debrief from the night befores previous’ antics. 

So eventually managing to stand, i get up and go look for Alex not finding him on the balcony, I then admit my defeat of being unlucky trying to find the chocolate eyed boy and head into the kitchen met with surprise because George was cooking the bacon sandwiches this time. “Ahh y/n/n was wondering when you’d get up, here woke up and found this on the side” George said handing me a napkin folded over with my name on it with words scribbled in sharpie inside. “Hey! You should apologise it was your god awful rendition of elvis presley that woke me up from my beauty sleep, lord knows, thanks. You didn’t read it did you?” my words coming out to George a bit more mean than usual.

“No. I didn't, thought you wouldn't want me too. Plus it wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me would it?” laughing at his words “since when are you a gentleman George?” to that i was just met with a hum in response so I decided to open the napkin which read. 

“y/n i really enjoyed last night had to run though have to record in the studio for the new album coming, think you’ll really like this one, its got a bit of everything in it,  so sorry to run wouldve loved to try your juice. anyway , heres my number 07*********, call me sometime soon we can organise something im sure

Al x :)” 

Smiling like a giddy school girl whos just got invited to her first date, I put it in my pocket of my hoodie, saving it for later making a mental note to call him when everyone was gone. George then spoke up from infront of me interrupting my train of thought, “So y/n what did you get up to last night? Anything interesting?” “whats that supposed to mean G?” i asked raising my eyebrows in question. “Nothing just wanted to know if anything happened with alex, he seems like a good lad and also i noticed how close you two were last night. I also may or may not have heard you two just a tad.” Burying my head in my hands out of abashment, “oh god i only thought matty had heard, dear lord. Im so sorry G.”

“Yeah well it wasnt just matty was it, it was Ross and I aswell okay it might have been a bit embarrassing but when have you not heard one of us, im very happy for you though, y/n/n, glad to see you get back on the field especially after col-” holding my finger out interrupting his sentence “dont you dare utter his name, other wise i will manifest that that bacon spits at you so much that you have burns all over your fingers that they blister and its unbearable pain for weeks” 

George then and there admitted his defeat holding his hands up. “Woah a bit harsh y/n/n,” my threat was overheard and interrupted by Matty, and Ross by the looks of it,  entering the room “Hey, it was completely fair, he almost brought up his name” ross replies. “Thank you, ross I knew I liked you the most out of all of our friendship” for that i was met with a chorus of “heys” even adam, and ross’ “welcome, love.” just sticking his middle finger up at george, hann and matty in response to their hurtful glares at me. “Just kidding i love you all equally, youre all my joint favourite.” i say to put their glares at rest.

“Anyway Hann when did you get here?” “about an hour ago knew we all needed to debrief from the night and when you lot had disappeared knew you would be at the closest flat from the pub, yours of course” adam explained himself. “Yours is the closest to anywhere we go on a night out bug. How is that?” “its because where i live, is club and pub central, dont forget that the uni is literally a 10 minute car ride down the road aswell. even some nights ms. lambert goes out with her old mates to the pub 5 minutes down the road mad i swear plus on nights when im not out i get to catch pub fights through my window, best place ive ever lived i swear, anyway im going off on a tangent plus it looks like the bacons almost done so, does everyone want juice?” just met with a chorus of “yeahs” i get started on making the juice for 5 of us. 

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After 3 minutes everyone was sat on the sofa, and soon we were talking about how last night went for all of us. “So hann,” i started, “who was the girl you were sucking face with last night,seemed very interested in eachother. You barely spoke to us!” “ahh y/n, her names carly, very nice girl ive been on a few dates with her, its early days but i think it might be a really good relationship, last night was only meant to be us but she just happened to be there, think you’ll get along with her, shes very nice and not like em at all” “thats good for you hann, we have to get together sometime so i can meet her, you deserve happiness especially after emma cheated on you with him” i knew you could hear the disgust in my voice, that really hurt when that happened, ross was at a cafe on a date and found them together kissing in a booth he joint called adam and i and we both felt betrayed i guess it was more hurtful for adam as he didnt expect it to happen he thought they were fine, happy and in love, but i knew, i knew her, she always took my boyfriends even when she already had one, she could never let me have my moment in the sun, when she started dating Adam i had warned him but he said it was different now and that she had changed, but when ross found them together i knew he was heartbroken and through that we had grown a lot closer together. The both of us mending our hearts together. 

“What about you, bug. You gonna tell hann where you disappeared off to last night when ross, G and i came back from smoking” matty said to me hann raising his eyebrows in question as if to say ooh which is what followed. I rolled my eyes playfully smiling “i kinda met someone, kinda the lead singer of arctic monkeys” i said taking another bite of my bacon sandwich. “Oh yeah do tell. What did the night lead to?” adam said jokingly wiggling his eyebrows at me. And then george piped in “lots of headboard smashing and loud noises lets just say that” i playfully smacked his chest raising my eyebrows at him. “Oh yeah? Good on you y/n/n im very proud of you, youve come along quite nicely from the heartbreak that we both experienced 6 months ago” “so have you hann, and there we were thinking that we would never experience a love life again, and here we are both with potential love interests” i state sighing in content happy with the little family i have here in the heart of the U.K.

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After a few meaningless chats about last nights happenings like what what we had to eat and best food after a night out conclusion; it's a doner kebab. And then ross stood up “right im gonna go get some clothes on, ive got a date” “whats her name this time macdonald?” I stated with an airy chuckle  “gemma.” “wow. You actually know her name this time, at least you were courteous enough this time to remember” matty states which the rest of us just laughed at.  “shut up the lot of you okay, at least i play the field a bit, while im still in my prime before i settle down, plus its not like you have a leg to stand on healy, how many girlfriends have you had since ‘02” matty then huffed and crossed his arms an apparent scowl on his face impeding on the smile he had on his face just a few mere moments ago. “That shut him up quick, note to self bring up the many girlfriends healy has had to quite his waffle” george said holding a hand out mimicking out writing on a piece of paper. 

After ross had disappeared to get changed and come back out he appeared again “so ill see you all later we gonna head up to wilmslow together later?” “shit” i exclaimed “whats the time” “errrr just coming up to 2 why?” “shit i was meant to leave at 10 to help lucy with the wedding. fuck, why did no one wake me up, you shits, right im gonna have to quickly get changed and hop in my car, stink dont suppose you could pack my case for me?” 

“Yeah course go get changed and ill do it as soon as your out of your bedroom, dont worry dont panic if need be just blame me ill gladly take a hit from bridezilla for you, bug” 

“Thank you! I dont have time to get changed, ive got to go now, Youre a blooming life saver, stink, all right ross ill see  you later about 9 ish lots of love all of you” i quickly run to my room grab my phone and my car keys on my nightstand and grab my bag thats chucked on the floor and run out of my house on the phone to lucy. 

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“WHERE ARE YOU? YOURE MEANT TO BE HERE BY NOW! I MEAN IT Y/N I NEED AN EXPLANATION. NO THEY DONT GO THERE ON THE MAIN TABLE SMALLER CENTERPIECES ON THE ROUND TABLES, I NEED AN EXPLANATION?? IM WAITING ON ONE.” 

“It was matty okay luce, he forgot to wake me up, so im gonna be just a tad 3 hours late” 

“Oh good lord, okay look as long as youre here for the rehearsal dinner everything is going to be fine im sure”

“Okay good? How are things anyway? Hows henry? Luce?”

“Err alls good here. We have a slightly larger problem though. Em and him just walked in”

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[lizard-shifter-noms]

Still Subject to Change Chapter 6 (NEW)

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Hello everyone! i decided to repost arc 1 of SSTC

(the chapters were way too long and had a bunch of typos but hopefully this will make reading easier)

this Story contains Vore, Dont like dont read.

if there are still any grammatical errors i’m sorry.

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I doubted I could sleep at all yet anyway.

“I could? I mean i was lying on the floor for a few hours over midday so i'm not tired at all right now”

At my input Arthur stared at me with a sour face, he probably expected me to murder all of them in their sleep or something.

Rikaad however seemed to mull it over, looking at Arthur as well.

“How about you and Arthur take the first shift? In case one of you nods off without noticing there's still another person on the lookout”

This did seem like a good solution but the problem was that Arthur did not like me at all, so I didn't know how being the only two awake would go.

Rikaad winked Robin over to him and the two settled down in a sort of two person pile to sleep.

“Goodnight!”

Came the enthusiastic but still tired shout from Robin who settled Down after Rikaad put an arm over his face to shut him up.

It sort of backfired as Robin grabbed the offending appendage and pulled it to himself to use as a pillow.

Not wanting to seem creepy I stared into the woods, eyes and ears alert for whatever would dare come near the smaller men.

I realized that previous to this I had not watched my back at all while sleeping and considered myself lucky that nothing had happened.

But there was nothing I could do about it now.

Looking at Arthur for a second who seemed to avoid looking into my eyes, I decided to just sit in silence again.

“... So how did you end up this big? I overheard you saying a curse?”

Turning around I faced Arthur again, he seemed nervous.

I had not expected him to speak to me for the entire duration of this trip.

“Yeah i somehow got this stupid thing stuck on me”

I tapped the bracelet to show what I meant.

“But i'm not going to mess with it, i'm not keen on dying to some haywire magic”

He chewed his lip, seemingly debating with himself for a bit.

“Robin said you just stole Bread? Not…. anything of more value?”

Well considering how that lady screamed when she saw me it would be Assumed that I had stolen gold or something.

“Well No, i'm not big on thievery i just take what i actually need and not more”

He still had trouble looking at my face so he stared into the dark abyss that the nightly forest provided absent from our campfire.

“So this entire stupid thing is over a loaf of bread? Im such an idiot”

He put his hands over his face and fell over backwards from his sitting position.

Not knowing what to do as I had sparse people skills at best I decided to ask him why he followed me into the forest.

“Why'd you run after me into the woods anyway? Usually nobody goes there on account of it being too dangerous”

There was silence on his end for a few seconds and he shifted to gently grip the wound on his side with a slightly pained expression.

“...I… there are some expectations for prospective Guards, for me and Robin even more so we got into the school on a lucky whim, so we had some stupid standards to uphold and letting anyone get away would mean that we'd be thrown onto the streets once more if not worse”

So he ran after me because the alternative could be worse.

I was no stranger to how Guards treated someone they deemed a failure, I had seen it many times when an apprentice was ‘punished’ for something completely stupid.

“At least you have more guts than the actual guards, none of them EVER followed me into the forest”

He whipped his head around and looked at me surprised.

“What? But they are Guards! They should have? Why didn't they? As a Guard it's expected to sometimes do things you don't want to!”

I think i gave him a crisis or something, Fuck.

Better not tell him about the other corrupt stuff i had witnessed over time.

Until later then, if the confused and upset mutterings were anything to go by.

Staring off into the woods again my view panned over the various plants.

I occasionally glanced back to either Arthur who was still muttering about Guard duties or to Rikaad and Robin who were sleeping peacefully curled over each other.

Sometimes I shifted my view up to the moon, watching it rise on the star speckled sky.

I continued to sit in silence just watching my surroundings and carefully listening to whatever sounds the Forest made.

Arthur apparently did not want to talk anymore, but he was probably preoccupied with the fact that I told him that some of the Guards were cowards.

I was fine with that as it left more room to focus on everything else.

Arthur’s head snapped to every noise that came from the dark and imposing trees.

I could tell he was on edge judging by the way he flinched at sudden noises and he still held a hand over the wound he received today.

“Are you okay? Does the wound hurt?”

I did not want him dying or anything while on my shift, the other two would kill me.

“Im fine its just stinging a bit from the cold”

He threw some more wood onto the fire and shifted closer to it.

I couldn't really tell how cold it was.

Since I became a giant I did not seem to feel as much temperature anymore, but if the small puffs of breath coming from my mouth meant anything it was really cold.

“Yeah what is up with that anyway? Its spring so why the fuck is it snowing?”

It was truly bizarre that the weather had gotten this frigid, but maybe it was just the higher altitude.

Arthur was still throwing even more wood into the fire until it was twice the size it was before.

“No idea, but i hope it gets warmer soon, i don't have the right clothing for this shit”

I could see that much was true, he was sort of hugging himself while small clouds escaped from between his lips.

Since he did not want me anywhere near him I instead took my handkerchief out and offered it to him so he could use it as a blanket.

At first he flinched when he saw my hand coming closer and put his fingers on his sword, but when he saw that I only offered some fabric he cautiously and slowly took it.

Instead of wrapping it around himself like I thought he would, he went over to Robin and Rikaad instead and draped the fabric over them as a blanket.

He sat back down in his spot next to the fire holding his hands out to the flames.

We sat in silence until the moon was at its highest point and Rikaad suddenly got up.

I would forever deny that I flinched as he got up.

“I believe it is our turn now, you can go to sleep if you'd like”

He shook Robin gently, who in turn complained about having to get up.

The Rusthead even went as far as to bury himself in the blanket.

Rikaad seemed to only now notice the piece of fabric and swiveled his head to look at me.

Neither of us said anything and he went back to waking up Robin, who finally but reluctantly got up.

“I'd rather keep sleeping”

He complained but went over to sit next to Rikaad regardless.

I debated if I even could sleep, I knew at least one of them didn't like me, and I still didn't know what to think about Rikaad.

The dark haired boy continued to puzzle me but I guessed that it was the strict Guard training that made him weird.

At least I hoped so, I did not want to end up dead because of this.

Lying down a short ways away I turned my back to the fire and tried to sleep.

Nodding off was not easy as I always felt like someone was watching me but after some time I finally managed to sleep.

I woke up the next morning to something tickling my nose.

Pulling my arm over my face and opening my eyes I saw that it was Robin who had taken a long leaf of grass and was tickling me with it.

I sat up slowly and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

“There are normal ways to wake someone up, you know?”

The Rusthead just grinned at me.

“I know, but this is funnier”

Arthur popped his head up from behind the fallen log he had sat on yesterday.

“It won't be as funny if he ends up sneezing on you, well for you anyway”

Rikaad seemed to appear out of nowhere to interject with his own opinion.

“Arthur you literally his behind that Log to avoid any consequences and then told Robin to go ahead”

While it was rather funny in retrospect I was sure we had to get moving sometime so I stood up all the way, stretching my arms over my head.

“Well I guess you woke me up to get going? Or did the plan suddenly change?”

I was only half joking, I knew they could turn on me when I least expected it, but this was kinda my fault so I felt obligated to help them.

“We are still heading away from the mountain so get your stuff and then we'll leave”

Rikaad turned towards the other two and I went to pick up my Handkerchief that had been used as a blanket yesterday.

I noted that someone had neatly folded it but said nothing about it and just pocketed it instead.

Walking after the three Humans proved to be just as slow as yesterday, which was still rather annoying.

Taking slow shuffling steps after them meant I had to be careful to not step on them.

Aside from the damage that would cause it would be really awkward, hell even thinking about it was awkward as it technically shouldn't be possible.

Ignoring what they talked about amongst themselves, I instead paid attention to the surroundings, especially the floor.

At some point Robin motioned for me to bend down.

“I don't wanna walk anymore. Can you carry me?”

I sort of expected this from him already, so I held my hand on the ground for him to climb on trying to ignore the death glare Arthur sent me.

Cupping the little rusthead closer to my chest I continued slowly walking after the other two.

Arthur seemed to not like me, even after I tried my best to be friendly yesterday, and I still did not know what to think of Rikaad.

He was quite the unusual character, his movements were sharp even when walking, but not in a choppy sort of way, more like a precise knife, he walked with purpose.

Rikaad was by far the one I most feared out of the group, I somehow had no doubt he would manage to cut my throat or something.

I decided to do my best to ignore it and instead focus on my environment.

The trees here looked a bit weird, but then again the entire forest was supposed to be sorta fucked up.

I did not recognize any of the trees either, they had pretty normal looking stems but the leaves were an off white greenish color and seemed to be covered in something, a fungus maybe?

“What is this stuff? It looks disgusting”

Arthur piped up from somewhere in front of us and pointed to the ground that was also starting to be covered in that white stuff like a fine layer of cloth.

I was so preoccupied with examining the weird stuff that I did not notice how utterly still Robin had become in my hand.

From somewhere left of us I heard weird clicking and hissing noises.

Turning to face whatever made such sounds I saw a massive spider, and when I say massive I mean it.

The thing was a bit bigger than a horse so even with my new height this thing was larger than usual.

That was definitely not good.

If I recalled correctly, spiders ate about anything they could catch in their nets.

Oh so that's what the white stuff was, Fuck.

Well I could deal with one of those, maybe I could just stomp on it or kick it away as far as possible.

Those plans however went out the window as more of these Spiders approached just as Arthur and Rikaad ran to seek shelter next to me.

I counted about twelve of these Arachnid monsters, too many to fight.

Arthur was panicking and clinging to my leg begging Rikaad to come up with something.

“Fuck fuck fuck how do we get out of this?? Rikaad please tell me you have a plan”

Rikaad however seemed to have no idea what to do, and I also tried to think of something.

Run away? While a good option the others would never be able to keep up with me and Robin had passed out the moment he saw a spider.

Could I carry them all? I only had two hands and there were three people so there was no way to hold onto any of them securely enough to sprint away.

As the spiders drew closer making those wretched clicking noises instinct took over, and the next thing I knew was that Robin was in my mouth and I gripped both of the other young men, one in each hand running as far away as possible from those creatures.

I heard shouting from the hand that held Arthur and he tried to bite me.

Luckily he only managed to get to my calloused thumb.

“SPIT HIM OUT! SPIT HIM OUT! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT WAS A DUMB IDEA TO TRUST A GIANT! SPIT! HIM! OUT!”

Well right now with spiders chasing us that sadly wasn't possible and I couldn't even respond to anything with my mouth currently occupied by the rusthead.

Rikaad was strangely silent but a glance over to my other hand told me that this was because only his legs dangled free of my grip, his entire upper half covered by my fingers.

Adrenaline carried me a good distance away from the spider nets but I kept running until I saw no webs at all anymore, not even from a distance.

Falling to my knees in a grassy field as the adrenaline left, I put my hands on the ground in front of me, letting go of the two young men.

Arthur scrambled upright, fumbling for his sword as Rikaad slowly got up.

I did not pay attention to them and instead fished a bedraggled looking Robin out of my mouth.

He was moving, which meant he had been back to consciousness for a while now.

I hoped I had not scared him, but judging by the fact that he just tried to wipe the saliva off instead of screaming he was probably fine.

Just as I set him on the ground someone screamed his name.

“ROBIN!”

Arthur bolted over to Robin, encasing him in a hug, not caring that he got a bit slimy as well.

Rikaad also moved over to where the two sat and stared at me, his eyes even icier than before but I still could not tell what he was thinking.

Was he angry? Did he regret asking me to tag along? In the end he said nothing and instead moved to kneel next to Robin.

I was still panting and sweating a bit from the adrenaline rush and the sprint I had just done to get away from the oversized arachnids, so I was not expecting to get stabbed in my outer thigh while kneeling on the ground.

“YEOWCH! What was that for?”

Arthur had snuck up on me and embedded his knife in my upper leg.

“YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT FOR! YOU TRIED TO EAT ROBIN YOU Imbecilic BASTARD!”

Imbecilic??? Imbecilic??? Was that what he thought of me? That I was just a dull Idiotic Imbecile??

And he didn't even grasp that I only did it to save all of our asses! Idiot!

“I DIDN'T! BUT I ONLY HAVE TWO HANDS BUT IF IT BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH I WOULD HAVE LEFT YOU THERE!”

“AS IF I WOULD BELIEVE THAT! I KNEW IT I FUCKING KNEW NOT TO TRUST A GIANT BASTARD–”

He did not get to finish his sentence as we were interrupted by an even louder voice.

“CAN YOU TWO SHUT UP??”

I was a bit taken aback by Rikaad’s loud shout, I did not expect him to have such strong vocal cords.

But it sure worked as he intended as both of us were stunned into silence as he walked over to us.

Looking at him it was like someone had set his usually icy gray eyes on fire as he stared at both of us.

Then his gaze froze over again, surprising me and apparently Arthur who had shrunk back when Rikaad came over.

“Please dont argue, i know we are all stressed from wandering around this forest especially after what just happened”

Arthur tried to interrupt him but was waved off by Rikaad.

“I'm not done speaking, also Arthur if you think logically if he had truly planned to eat Robin do you think he would have spat him out?”

Arthur just looked away and mumbled something I could not make out, he seemed to feel bad all of a sudden after being rebuked by the taller male.

Rikaad then turned to face me.

I reflexively straightened my back as he looked at me.

I don't know why I did that as I had no guard training but something compelled me to do it anyway.

“And Donovan? Please never do such a thing again”

I could only nod, I really hadn't wanted to in the first place but it was the only thing I could come up with at the time.

“Don't plan to, it's not something i wanted to do but my brain did not have any other ideas, also sorry for grabbing you”

He just nodded curtly at me and went back to Robin who was still trying to get all the slime out.

I looked at Arthur who stared back at me with quite a weird expression I could not place.

I decided to ignore him and my still bleeding cut for now and check on Robin, though while standing up I couldn't help a spiteful comment.

“Stupid bitch”

He did not respond and just sat there instead.

Going over to Robin I took out my Handkerchief again and offered it to him so he could wipe the rest of the saliva off.

He gladly took it and started trying to get the slime out of his hair.

“Thank you”

He reminded me a bit of a wet kitten with his short ginger hair sticking up in all directions.

Rikaad stood next to him seemingly as if nothing was wrong.

He was staring at Arthur and looking over I could see that he had just flopped onto his back, lying in a patch of grass limbs spread out like a star.

I went the opposite direction to a decently sized patch of wildflowers and started plucking the edible ones out of the ground, some were angrily stuffed into my mouth right away, others were put in a small heap near my knees.

I would bring those over to the small humans when I had calmed down a bit.

I just hoped Arthur would not accuse me of trying to poison them, or witchcraft who knows with this guy.

At some point while I was still ripping plants out of the dirt Robin came over and held my handkerchief up to me as best as he could.

I carefully took it from him and stuffed it back into my pocket.

He sat next to me and started to also pluck flowers but instead of eating them he started to make flower crowns once again.

I did not know what to say so i kept quiet, i was still feeling a bit awkward from what happened earlier and hoped he wasn't mad at me.

Robin however seemed to not be able to sit silent for long.

“You should brush your teeth”

He did not say more and just continued with his flower crown.

I huffed out an amused snort.

“With what? I cant use the little rags that are usually used”

He grinned up at me.

“Not my problem that you are taller than a House”

I couldn't help but smile, surely I wasn't that big was i? I had no reference for this after all.

“Maybe you're just tiny, but seriously are you good? Did I hurt when I put you in my mouth? Are you okay?”

He seemed confused for a second before answering.

“I'm fine, why do you ask? You're the one that's bleeding”

He pointed to the shallow cut Arthur had made, and that was starting to slowly scab over.

“Ehh just a scratch, i'm more upset about my pants having a hole now”

It did indeed suck as these were my only pair and now as a giant I couldn't even get new ones.

“I'm sure Rikaad could repair them he's pretty okay at sewing”

I was admittedly a bit surprised by this, I had not expected the man that used cold logic for everything to be good at such a mundane thing.

“Maybe, i don't think it's necessary it's just a small tear”

“Mhm you want a flower crown?”

He held one up to me that was longer than all the others he had made albeit still small to me.

“You're fast at that, but sure if it fits”

I cautiously took the offered flowers making sure to not squish any of them and put the too small crown on my head.

It only fit over half my head making me look like I had a flower halo sitting on my scalp.

Robin who had started another crown already burst into laughter.

“You look funny! I used way more flowers than normal and it's still so small on you!”

I carefully fished the colorful Blossoms from my head and tossed the entirety over Robin who tried to catch it but failed.

He instead took the flowers and wrapped them around his neck multiple times.

“You think the others will like eating flowers?”

“You know them better than i do, so you tell me”

I put the heap of pre-plucked flowers in my hand and stood slowly up.

Looking over the clearing I saw the other two men sitting near a tree with Arthur still lying on his back and Rikaad watching the environment.

I slowly walked over to them still keeping away from Arthur and sitting a good ways away from him so Rikaad was between the two of us.

“I found some edible plants if anyone wants”

Sitting down I put the flowers on the ground next to Rikaad so he could take some if he wanted.

Should Arthur want some as well he'd have to move over to us.

Robin walked over to Rikaad and put a flower crown on his head then tossed another on top of Arthur who did not react to having a bunch of flowers thrown at him.

Rikaad gingerly took the flower crown into his hand and looked at it.

“You know that's how we found you, Robin makes a lot of these and we just had to follow the trail of ripped out flowers to find you”

I was surprised at this and looked at Robin who, strangely enough, looked just as confused.

“You did? That wasn't even the plan with them i just like making those”

It wasn't even a plan to get his friends to come find him? Was it just pure luck that they found the petal trail? Robin truly was a strange human, albeit one of the good ones as far as i could tell.

Rikaad did not seem surprised by the admission of this being done by accident however.

“I suspected as much but it was still helpful even if there was a day where we found no flowers, i'm just glad you're okay”

He put the flower crown back on his head and reached over to pick one of the edible plants I had brought over and inspected a clover blossom.

Thinking about his comment on how they had not found any petals for a day it made me realize that it must have been the morning where Robin had been in my Pouch.

I sincerely hoped they would never find that out.

They'd probably lynch me, Especially Arthur who seemed to have an inherent dislike for me.

As for Rikaad, well i wasn't sure if he'd kill me seeing as Robin was fine but i would not risk it, his icy gray eyes still unnerved me greatly, but so far he'd been polite to me.

PREVIOUS / NEXT / OVERSIGHT

[vbee-miya]

Loved the matchups now can I have a normal one for haikyuu and demon slayer

A male one btw

I'm a straight short girl use she/her pronouns, im around 5'2 with long brown hair and eyes and a leo also a infp,im also ace as for which one im not too sure atm as i just found out not ling ago. I'm 21. I like anime,dragons,reptiles,drawing but I'm not good,tarantulas,sweets,video games, memes,dark humor. I am very kind but I care more about others than I do myself. I have bad anxiety. I tend to overthink about everything. I love to sing especially country music but I am tone deaf. I have trouble standing up for myself because I was bullied alot. I can be very blunt. I also love to swear. I can be very loud. I love a good mystery and cop shows. I love dad jokes and puns.I am terrified of bees and heights. I am very lazy but I can be good at doing stuff if motivated. , unless I know it will happen or if I touch someone. I accidentally snap at people and I find people's pain hilarious so if someone gets hurt there is a good chance I will laugh at them. I sound meaner than intended sometimes. I can have trouble showing that im thankful at times. I pick at scabs as a nervous habit. I love to add alot of lemon juice to my tea to where it's more lemon than tea. When I'm woken up early with low sleep I am very mean and grumpy. I cant tell when people are joking and take it seriously. I do have asphergers which is a form of autism. Becuase of it I am a very picky person with foods and such.

I am very kind but people take advantage of it and I don't usually fight back. I also have adhd and I can go on forever about something but I don't know when to stop and should be told to if it's getting annoying. I have self esteem issues at times as well.

I am a bit overweight it isn't shown well I have thick thighs and am just a but chubby around the stomach it isn't noticeable unless I wear somethign small I usually wear large t-shirts.I have a few weird talents. I can put my foot behind my head while standing and both while sitting down. I can burp for 14 seconds. I have been told I have resting bitch face. When someone stops talking to me my attention goes to something else so I won't be able to hear what they said if they say something again so I end up saying what alot cause I loose focus easily. I am incredibly stubborn if I want something done.

For dislikes I don't like people who don't understand that I'm different and ignore my sensitivities. I also don't like smoking it bothers me. For my love languages im not too sure probably gift giving or quality time as I love to just laze around in bed and play games.

༺❀༻ matchup ༺❀༻

haikyuu one

honestly i was going to match you with issei.

but daichi is definitely a better fit. he’s a sexy cop man that’s all I can say. but listen issei is also just as sexy and working in a funeral is sexy.

anyways daichi. he’d think your adoration for dragons and reptiles are pretty damn cool just like your drawings. because headcanon he can’t draw for shit and even if he did try it still wouldn’t look like what he’d want.

i also can’t keep thinking about how daichi low key looks like thomas crusader. if not by looks then definitely the vibes. idk that’s just my random take.

anyways your humor and his humor certainly don’t fit like puzzle pieces. but he’d try to understand dark humor which honestly he still wouldn’t find funny. though if it’s a funny meme then what the hell. he’ll give a good deep of a laughter. but he can’t resist a good dad joke and actually would be clever enough to come up with new ones when you guys are taking a stroke in some place.

he’d be weary of you about not fully putting yourself first than others, and he’ll remind you that. he’d make sure you’re taking care of yourself and even if it’s difficult he’ll be there to motivate you. after all you are talking to a former volleyball captain. it’s only natural he’s good with words and motivations of that sorts.

when you overthink he’ll hear you out but pull you back into reality. and tell you to take everything one step at a time. no matter how much you’re thinking about something, the moment you start getting ahead of yourself daichi would pull you out of the loop hole and take time to live in the moment and critically think about things one step at a time and make sure those steps aren’t just empty words but actions as well.

you’re bluntness might scare him, but honestly it’s more of the fact that he appreciates you for it. not many people who say they’re blunt are blunt. he’d also completely ignore you swearing. not that he’s got a problem he just wouldn’t care for it unless if it’s around his parents then he’ll have a word with you elsewhere. really playing that cop fantasy.

as mean as you may portray or perceive yourself daichi knows you’ve got a good heart. and even though it’ll take time for him to actually understand everything about you, just know in those times of being together he’s got insane patience and will never ignore you sensitivities. and like any decent human being will always accept you for who you are and will help you get better because you make them feel like they can also better themselves.

daichi even as great of a motivator as he is sucks at getting motivated. that’s only a joke though but if you give him something in exchange or even a simple talk in quality time he’ll forever be grateful to you. and also i will like to add quality time with you and daichi is watching action acclaimed shows and movies especially ones with cops and he’d play judge and see how well thought out and played the roles of the law are.

[bumblebeerror]

My teeth hurt sometimes, just. In general. They’ve done this a while now, mostly when the weather changes. It starts in my jaw and creeps up my teeth until I can’t chew very well because I don’t want to move my jaw or put pressure on my teeth. It also means sleeping’s difficult, and just. Most things weirdly become a lot more difficult when you don’t want to chew. My jaw’s been like this for a week or so now? I think. I mostly don’t notice it starting until sleeping gets harder.

Anyway, all that to say it’s been a Rough day when it comes to my body and brain working correctly. I woke up when I usually do, took my adhd meds, and then fell asleep for another three hours. I streamed today after talking with some friends, and about a hour after my two hour stream, I just hit a wall. I’m already tired enough to go back to sleep now. Everything is shaky and tender and it’s… such a slap in the face. Sometimes.

Especially because I don’t register pain like this. It doesn’t occur to my brain to interpret it that way. I get tired, I feel pressure more sharply, but I don’t feel pain unless I stop to check in. So if you asked me today what I was feeling… I’d tell you Im tired. I’d tell you I feel shaky and maybe kind of feverish, that my legs dont want to work at any faster pace. I’d tell you my body feels weak and that my neck and head ache, because that’s about the only pain on me that’s sharp, that changes, that waxes and wanes.

And at some point today I finally registered that I was feeling pain. That my hands are shaking because every nerve in them is sending a constant signal. My arms feel heavy and my legs feel wobbly and my joints feel unstable because every nerve is sending a message I can’t read. Its kind of funny, in a way - if I stop focusing on reading that message as pain, it stops registering that way again. Like Francis Freeman, the villian in the first Deadpool movie? One of his powers is not feeling pain.

I’m not sure what my point here really is? I don’t share often, and I don’t enjoy being pitied. I don’t want to feel like someone who needs saving. Your princess is in another castle, all that. I just wanted it written. I keep hitting dead ends and my pcp doesn’t know how to help me. I can’t get disability and I can’t work enough to support myself, so I don’t have much of s choice on whether I stay with my mum - and she can’t afford to pay for my car. And I can feel my body degrading, even if I don’t look at the hours I used to be capable of. I used to work nearly 40hrs a week closing s daycare, keeping up with kids and cleaning the place. Then 25, cleaning a clinic. Now I work 8 cleaning an office, and can’t afford gas to get there. I won’t lie, if I let myself think about it too long, it gets frightening.

I don’t know. I hate dwelling on things I can’t fix, and I loathe feeling sorry for myself. If I can’t make a joke about it, I don’t want to deal with it. But a part of me also doesn’t want what’s happening to me to be forgotten. A part of me wants a record. A part of me wants to be convinced that I’m not… insane? That I’m not faking it, somehow, that I’m actually in pain that I can’t feel anymore. That other people don’t feel this way all the time. That what people told me as a kid, dismissed, that it’s wrong. That they didn’t know I was feeling something bad.

I wish school had taught us practical things. Like how much pain the average non-ill person is every day (none). To this day I still pose questions about it to one of my friends who has an old shoulder injury but no widespread issues like this, just to check.

Ive rambled enough, I think. I’m gonna shower and sleep. Have a good timezone, if you decided to read all that for some reason.

[avocadoguru]

Feedback time my beautiful masterminds ❤️❤️ i wanna start off by saying how perfect i thought this chapter was. No matter what you write or what direction you take the story or what choices you make with it, it always ends up perfect and beautiful because you guys are the ones writing it! And when someone is as good at writing as you are, it is quite literally impossible for it to not turn out good, no matter what some might «expect» or «wish» for (talking about the negative feedback i saw you talking about 🥺 im so sorry), it always turns out wonderful no matter what! I promise ❤️ Please dont let yourselves be discouraged by all that fuss that some people are saying (u deserve better my loves!).

Anyways, to the story 🫶🏻 The chapter started out so so so soft, with them sleeping next to eachother and him feeling the comfort of just her prescence and being able to relax in a totally new and unusal way for him! Such a beautiful detail by the way, the description of how his body felt more at ease than usual 🥺 and the first dirty scene, my gosh it was everything i could ever dream of !! Dirty AND beautiful !!

(So sorry that my feedback isnt in chronological order, my heads a mess haha) And the parts where Harry is so nervous and uneasy about taking her to Nialls place pretending its his, was so good because i felt like it gave us even more of an insight on his soft and more vulnerable moments, like the big, strong, powerful wolf suddenly feels anxious and restless about her thoughts on everything about «his» place and how he tries so hard to maintain this facade because in his mind, its a way to not lose her. So so beautiful and vulnerable and soft and cute and painful and just every emotion at once! All those emotions takes some extremely good writers to convey, which i am not at all surprised that you amazing writers are able to do in such a descriptive and well formulated way ❤️

And another soft moment for me, is when she made him dinner and he connected what he knew about what cooking «means» to humans, and how he thought that could mean that she was showing affection towards him in her human ways !! aw 🥺

And the second steamy scene….no words !!! I loved how much he was struggeling to keep his self control and how desperate he was as she sucked him off and just….my brain turned into the most positive form of absolute mush !!! 🌟 Him struggeling to, quite literally, not unleash the beast, leaves me so giggly but hot its hard to even describe !! 💗💗

And i also want to add that i thought the ending of this chapter was the PERFECT ending. Like, no complaints at ALL. I loved the way it leaves you wanting to just indulge yourself into the future chapter cuz of how much you want to see what happens next. Could not ask for a better ending !! It left me satisfied and excited for the next one <3 Just like stories and chapter should do! Right? 🙌 I feel bubbly just thinking about chapter 8 !!

I have so many more thoughts about every little detail in this, so many thoughts that i can’t even type them all, but just please please please know that i, and hopefully maaaany others too, notice all the little details you put in your work. When i read this story, i am so invested and captivated that i read every line as slow as possible, so that i can consume every last letter of art you write. I notice everything, and stop many times just to admire a single line or a single word or detail or idea og dialouge or storylines and characters and backstories and just everything. So just please know that your hardwork does not go unnoticed !! At least not by me ❤️

I am so sorry if this was obnoxiousely long and difficult or exhausting to read btw !! i just wanted to give some love and encouragement and appreciation to you beautiful people that i am so grateful for <3 have a beautiful day 💗

(@fkinavocado here) just wanna say that i first read mermaids instead of masterminds 😂i dunno which is more out there lol.

regarding the "negative feedback-" we never said it was negative. some people just choose to focus on the wrong things, and we can't understand why- some people insist on them having babies, pups etc- and it's odd to us, because we made it abundantly clear that it's physically impossible for them to procreate, being different species essentially. and we did so very early on- just to give everyone a heads up and have them decide if they wanna stick around or not. i get why this might be an important thing to some. and not to say that we are under any obligation to forewarn ppl about plot keys like this, but we thought it would be nice of us to do so, since we know it's a touchy subject for some. so yeah- it was disappointing to see people insist on this when we've made it clear that it won't be happening.

second, a lot of people put a lot of emphasis on "poor eddie"- which is fair, it was a cute/sad thing that he was moping for harry, but some only commented on that. which was a bit odd? like there were so many things happening in that 20k chapter and some literally just commented "poor eddie" at the end of it x_x lol

so, it was never that it was negative feedback. and we're not trying to tell people what to write us, either. we were just expressing our slight disappointment with what some ppl chose to leave as feedback (well, i was, on my own blog, but then it snowballed and oh well.)

anyway---- back to your lovely feedback ❤️❤️❤️❤️ i can't tell you how much it means to me and both of us to have you take the time and write all of this down. truly, it made our day when we saw it in our inbox, especially after we were feeling a bit disheartened after reading some of the others. and it's not to say we expect every bit of commentary to be this long and in depth- we appreciate that not everyone has a way with words etc. but just letting us know you enjoyed it is what we love to hear ❤️ we don't need the praise!!!!! we just wanna know you liked it 🥹

"please please please know that i, and hopefully maaaany others too, notice all the little details you put in your work. When i read this story, i am so invested and captivated that i read every line as slow as possible, so that i can consume every last letter of art you write. I notice everything, and stop many times just to admire a single line or a single word or detail or idea og dialouge or storylines and characters and backstories and just everything. So just please know that your hardwork does not go unnoticed !! At least not by me ❤️"- THIS BIT LITERALLY MELTED ME 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ literally, i could never express how much that means to me! thank you from the bottom of my heart lovely, and have an amazing day too 💋💋💋

[thewingedwolf]

<long and rambling, I’m gonna add a cut when I get on a desktop next bc I don’t think I can do it on mobile>

Went to a pride party, absolutely fucking crashed and burned several times at socialization and I apologized to my friend for being Terrible At Parties and my friend goes “you really ARE bad at talking I can’t believe I never noticed it! That feels like this one is on me!” And honestly I think that was the first time anyone has ever taken responsibility for my anxiety and for some reason I do not understand at ALL it made me feel REALLY good about myself ya kno like it was the equivalent of taking your friend who you know damn well hates shellfish to a crab shack and not understand why they’re annoyed as they pick at their shitty ass salad. Like yeah man my anxiety is YOUR problem bro not mine.

Uh anyways so all that anxiety + anxiety from the event we had today - which went really well!!! I’m actually really happy with how it went! We put a lot of hard work into it and it really paid off! - and also generally my anxiety has been awful lately + the amount of pot I consumed at that party bro if I would have realized they were gonna be that free and loose with the weed I would have brought an ice pack, propped my leg up on a chair, and started smoking the moment I came in so I could have lasted longer!!!! = I have been like uh ~talking with a dude and I’m being very careful because Im actually Very careful on the internet, sometimes in weird ways, and I know there are ways I could be safer for sure, but I also think that while my anxiety has hindered my ability to date in a lot of ways, once or twice it has helped me realize that there was a red flag I missed not too far away and then I bailed and it was the RIGHT decision. This guy wasn’t talking down to me, we were sort of disagreeing about serious stuff so it was tense but we weren’t arguing, just discussing and finding we had different world views on something. And then I made a joke about how I just wanted them to raise the minimum wage bc my rent was expensive to lighten the mood up a bit, bc we had both been throwing jokes in every few minutes so it didn’t get too serious and then…then I looked at my phone and it said that he had deleted a chat he had sent, and then he sort of made some “this system is broken someone needs to fix it” and that’s FINE except we haven’t really discussed politics and I admit I’ve been a little mum in that regard bc he’s bisexual and we sort of really quickly bonded over the weirdness of being raised technically in yiur culture but unable to speak the language and that was interesting but also doesn’t mean anything like maybe he meant it in a commie sort of way since he’s told me he’s been really affected by COVID so maybe he, like a lot of people, found himself feeling more and more than this system is inherently broken beyond repair. Or MAYBE he meant it in a “you know I really think trump was onto something” sort of way and I’ve been staring at these messages wondering what the fuck they mean but let me reiterate, I have not looked at these messages ONCE without being bogged down with anxiety or high as a kite! He might not have been making an Anakin skywalker style “maybe dictators are good actually” type comment, you might, in fact, just have spent the last 20 hours in a bungled mess of anxiety and weed and pain.

Um anyways this program went really well and I think I’m gonna stay on to do it next year because I had sort of a good time, it reminded me why I like working in a library, but also, I’m so glad it’s over bc it was so much effort and I’m so anxious and tired all the time akskdkjd I don’t do anything but sleep and watch the same three episodes of a show bc I keep falling asleep, and then texting this dude at 4 am when I wake up bc I can’t sleep thru the night bc he keeps the WEIRDEST hours so I know he’ll be up and like ~flirting until I fall back asleep. That’s it. That’s been most of my life bc of this program the last few weeks. It’s not bad, but bro I would LOVE a CHANGE

In other news a pretty (straight) girl hugged me at work and I almost cried its been such a great pride already 🥲🥲🥲

[mellow-worlds]

The fact that T didn't mention me in his "diary" entry. The fact that he cancelled plans when nobody but me would show up. The fact that I thought he could be the one who liked me most. The fact that F never wants to do anything with us. The fact that D isn't here. The fact that G only ever talks to me because there's noone else. The fact that I lied to everybody. The fact that I lied to Snoopy. The fact that I'm so sad all the time. The fact that I'm not sad enough. I'm not sad enough. Maybe I should sh again.

The fact that none of my friends like me. I'm not close to any of them. I always keep it superficial. Idk what to do. I'm a little cold. At least I'v elost a little bit of weight. I started doing intermittent fasting. I'm scared of stagnating now. The fact that my friends won't like me more if I lose weight. Strangers might. But my friends will notice... That's worth the world. If I die, it's because my friends would notice. Is that too much? The fact that my frineds won't like me more after discovering that I'm in pain. The fact that my friends... I love my friends...... what to do? I'm kind of sad. Idk how to deal with the fact that no one likes me. I'm not dealing with it at all. I feel numb. I kind of accept it? Wish it were different... don't know how to change it. dont think I could.

The fact that I can't decide between being serious and respectable or being all sweet and like a child or literally just a girl. Idk what to do and how to behave. I suck. GOSH. GOSSSHHHH. The fact that I#m not sad enough. The fact that I'm not sad enough. This has probably been the worst week I've had in a long, long time and I'm not sad enough. Maybe I'll be sadder if I sh. That's no reason to do it. I feel like I've completely grown out of sh. I've hated these scars so much that I guess I really don't want any new ones. But...... I keep thinking that nobody ever sees my thighs anyway. Gosh I just want to be happy in front of my friends. I always feel numb deep down but at least I can fake it, then. I don't really fake it, thougj. I really don't fake it.

I hate fasting. I hate fasting in the evenigns. I won't stop. Maybe I'll shift my cycle. I wish I was dead. I want to lose more weight. Gosh I hate fasting. I really hate fasting. I HATE IT. I hate it in the evenings. The fact that I'll probably gain it all back... it's fine. this is not an ed. I'm eating a lot actually. I'm not even too hungry. this is not anorexia, i just fast. fasting is not anorexia. i#m not close to that at all. i want to die. i want to die. it'd be so nice. I just want to not wake up. I want to eat. priorities. gosh. im so sad. not sad enough ahhahahahahha see i can laugh. gosh. what am I doung. I wanted to watch a movie an hour ago. i shoudl do taht instead of whining. when the song's finished. alr. alr. im in pain. my throat.......

the fact that t didn't care to mention me. The fafct that I don't exist for other people. The fact that F has been messaging me a lot on ig. Doesn't mean anything but I get cocky enough to think that he likes me in at least some way. I want to die. F doesn't care for me. I dodn't deserve him anyway. song ended. nvm. not watching the movie yet. i want to die. NFWAJKNDFWJAKN THE FACT THAT I HAVE TO DO UNI WORK TOMORROW MAKES ME WANT TO DIE it#s not even a lot but it makes me so anxious. It makes me so anxious.... how will I pass even any exam..... ill get expelled from my course.......... im the stupidest bitch out there. i'm so fohcking stupid. i want to die. can't even fill out a simple paper.... ill do it tomorrow and I#ll be fine. ill be fine. ill be fine. i want to watch a movie but it's so late. makes me not want to watch it but watch 3 hours of yt in my bed instead. ISTG if i wake up after 3 hours of sleep again today I#ll kill someone. hopefully me. ok I'll go brush my teeth. maybe. when the song is done. I'll definitely go brush my teeth though. I've been watvhing so many Sims lps lately. by call me kevin. far too many. gosh I want to die. my throat hurts. I love the smiths. i really do. gosh. i should be locked up but i'm not sad enough for that. what should I do? ok song is over. now...

[keefwho]

March 23 - 2023

4:21 PM

It is mental health day and since I can’t think of anything I need to read up on, I should stick with an exercise or behavior change. I inadvertently gave myself a small challenge with lunch. I decided to make lentils with my rice a roni but the lentil I have are pretty old and an unfamiliar food in general. The reason I ate them though is because They are nowhere near their expiration date and from what I read, beans don’t really become bad after that anyways. Moreso inedible. So I had a full serving of the beans and I will not let myself think anything was wrong with them. I’m actually excited because I’m starting to figure out how to work with more raw ingredients. CHEAP ingredients that have a long shelf life. I’m interested in learning how to cook in my own way. I enjoy just putting simple things together like peasants did back in the 18th century. 

12:15 AM

Im up late but for a good reason. I wanted to spend time with someone very important before she’s gone all next week. Definitely worth sacrificing a little bit of sleep for, and having a late dinner. 

Earlier this evening I was in a position where I was prone to thinking nobody liked me. A CLASSIC problem. But I think I’m noticing the pattern enough to nullify it, at least sometimes. I literally just didn’t go down that rabbit hole of thinking. I knew that if I feel disconnected from others, the real problem is that I’m disconnected from myself. And I’m starting to find ways to deal with that. An effective method is to express myself however I know how. Basically to play, and I mean really “play”. Like Im a child again. Having some creative time where I actually don’t hold back helps me pinpoint what I “want” in an abstract sense. It really is all about expressing my feelings and getting to know them more. 

I also had a surprising conversation with a friend today. We discussed things like self growth, past traumas, and connections with others. I think it was important for me to have a sort of heart to heart like that with someone I can’t say I’m necessarily close with. Thats exactly the kind of thing I’ve been trying to explore. It also reminded me how effective it can be to just try to have a conversation with someone because you never know where it could go. One of my main initiatives right now is to talk to more people in meaningful ways. 

Another main goal is to be nicer to myself. Not just in my thoughts but with my actions. It can help to pretend I’m someone else giving me permission to practice a little self care. Like if I exited my body and told myself “take a break and watch your favorite stream for a couple hours, you deserve it.” 

On nights like this there is just too much for me to talk about and digest. I can’t get to it all. 

I’ve been worried about dependency a lot in the past but what I think I’m actually afraid of is being abandoned. I’ve been using fear of dependency as an excuse to limit how close I let myself get to people. Obviously dependency is something to keep in mind but I don’t think I have a problem with that. If I’m being honest with myself, I want strong connections. Connections that if they were lost, would hurt tremendously. I’m afraid of that tremendous pain but that fear robs me of the bonds I want to make. The solution I think is to simply let go of those fears and let myself commit to people in the ways I dream of. Its very similar with my anxiety where I just had to trust that my fears weren’t based on anything solid and I just had to trust that I was okay.

[fueledbyapplepi]

I love your writing it's so good!!! Could I have reader having a crush on the boys and giving them a kiss while they think the boys are asleep and confessing their love to them with mikey, chifuyu and the haitani brothers? Im just so soft for those boys!!!

Sleep Tight | Mikey, Chifuyu, Ran, and Rindou

- Confessing to the boys while they're (not really) asleep

genre: 🌸 fluff 🌸

warnings: minor cussing

A/N: Thank you, anon! I really got into writing this one ( ◜‿◝ )♡ Also, I honestly think I need to come up with better titles because it sounds like a word vomit to me LMAO Anyway, I hope you enjoy this!

Mikey (Sano Manjiro)

Life would be nice if you had someone by your side who felt the same way about you.

You already have Mikey by your side, making every day much easier to get by. But does he feel the same way with you?

You practically grew up together with Mikey. Being neighbors with the man, you often come by to play with them as kids- leading to a blooming friendship. Although more often, it was you watching Mikey train in his grandfather’s dojo, where he never fails to amaze you with his tricks. Sometimes, you’ll have sleepovers together with Emma and Mikey where you’ll watch movies with them. Only for Mikey to be sound asleep halfway through the movie.

Growing up, nothing has changed that much with that routine. The only thing that has changed is your growing feelings for Mikey.

You saw the ups and downs in his life. From the time he established Toman to losing Shinichiro, you were there to witness how he would build a castle from the rocks of his downfalls.

So it was no surprise that you find your heart beating much faster when he’s around.

Childish as he is, you can’t deny the fact that Mikey is charismatic, beautiful, and kind. But, you never had the chance to tell him what you feel. Because what if he never saw you the same way?

You looked at Mikey, who’s currently sitting by your side almost half asleep. His head swings from side to side as he struggles on whether he should watch the movie or not.

“Mikey, you always never get to finish our movie nights. You’re no fun.” Emma pouted at his brother as she turned off the television.

“Mhmm, not sleepy.” Mikey turned to look at you then at Emma before leaning on your shoulder. “Just a little.”

Your heart flutters from close contact. “Maybe he’s tired from one of Toman’s meetings.” You turned to look at Emma with a sorry face

Sighing, Emma stepped out of the room as she looked at you, “I’ll get us a blanket, wait here Y/N.”

Your face felt hot as you realized that you were left alone in the room with Mikey. Well, this isn’t unusual for you two but with the strong feelings you have for him, you just can’t help but blush.

You looked at Mikey, his eyelashes seemed a bit longer, making his eyes more beautiful. His lips, although chapped, pouted with the way he’s comfy with you.

“Mikey, can you stop being so pretty? It makes me want to kiss you,” you whispered, thinking that Mikey’s probably dozing off to dreamland.

Mikey opened out one of his eyes to take a peek at you. All the sleepiness vanishing from his body. Did he just hear you right? “Then kiss me, Y/N.”

“Heh? Mikey, you’re awake?” you felt embarrassment creeping into you. “Mikey...I...look, sorry. I-”

Your blabbering mouth was silenced with a peck on the lips. Mikey kissing all your worries away.

“I like you too, Y/N.” He smiled as he leaned closer to you. Your foreheads touching and nose brush against each other.

You felt like you’re on cloud nine. Is this real? Mikey likes you too?

Before you could say anything, the door opened with Emma looking at the two of you weirdly. “Hehhh, am I interrupting something?”

You and Mikey looked at Emma. An embarrassed look on both of your faces as if you were caught red-handed.

Now, there’s a lot of explaining to do.

Chifuyu Matsuno

No matter how many times you try, you always seem to lose.

But who won’t?

With Chifuyu’s angelic smile and kind eyes, your determination to admit your feelings for him always seems to waver. It’s just that your thoughts always fly out the window and anxiousness gets the best of you.

You’ve known Chifuyu for quite some time now. Baji, who’s your cousin, introduced him to you as Toman’s 1st Division Vice-Captain and most trusted partner. Of course, it was only natural for you to be wary of him. Baji might trust him, but he could be some sort of drug dealer or serial killer. Who knows?

You’re wrong though. The more time you spend with Chifuyu, the more you appreciate his presence. How can you not? He always lends you a helping hand whenever you need it. As cliche as it sounds, Chifuyu is like the knight and shining armor in your life.

And now here he is. Once again saving you from another horrible situation.

Chifuyu offered you a ride when he found you drenched from the rain in Shinagawa. Apparently, the weather wouldn’t be pleasant today but you forgot to read the weather forecast. Currently, he brought you to his home for the meantime as the rain wouldn’t be stopping until tomorrow.

“I’ll just text and let Baji-san know that you’ll be staying here.” Chifuyu handed you a blanket as he laid on his futon.

“Thank you, Chifuyu. But I swear it’s okay for me to sleep there. This is your bed anyway.” You said embarrassed.

Chifuyu yawned. Tiredness dropping from his eyes. “It’s alright, Y/N. I can’t let Baji-san’s pretty cousin sleep on the floor.” He smiled at you with a faint blush on his cheeks.

You laid on the bed silently. Blushing from his compliment. Did he just call you beautiful?

You looked at the ceiling for about a good minute before turning to Chifuyu. “Chifuyu-san, I-”

A soft sleeping figure cut you off. The light from the lamp outside reflected on his beautiful features.

You padded off your feet on the floor and sat right next to Chifuyu. Observing him, you notice that he looks prettier when he’s peaceful like this.

You hesitatingly brushed your fingers on his hair. While massaging it, you can’t help but feel overwhelmed by your emotions. “I like you, Chifuyu-san.” You smiled proudly at yourself as you finally got to admit your feelings even though he’s asleep.

However, you noticed that the sleeping figure in front of you stiffened and reddened from your statement. Eyes wide, you held a hand in your mouth.

“Chifuyu-san, are you awake?” You hoped that he wasn’t.

But apparently, he is. “I guess you caught me.” Chifuyu sat up and scratched his head as he smiled at you sheepishly. “That felt nice though.”

“I’m sorry!” You bowed your head, hair hiding your flustered state.

“I like it!” Chifuyu panicked. “I mean, no. I like it. But, I like you too, Y/N-san.”

You laughed. At the same time, feeling extremely happy from what you just had heard.

“I guess we have some explaining to do with Baji-san.” you teased him

“Mhmm. But,” he held your hand and put it into his hair. “Would you continue that?” Chifuyu smiled.

“Of course.” You smiled at him, continuing your hair massages.

Looks like you won this time.

Ran Haitani

You’re no medical expert. The only knowledge you got was based on textbooks and first aid knowledge.

Yet somehow, Ran would always come knocking on your door whenever he has cuts or injuries. Sometimes, even without one, he would come by at your place and complain that his body is painful.

And it’s one of those nights again as you hear a soft knock on the door.

Moving to Roppongi, you were warned about the Haitani brothers. How you must stay away from them because they’re just no good. However, you somehow managed to come across the elder Haitani while you were shopping at a local store when he asked you what hair dye he should use.

This little interaction moved from one way to the other and now, ever since Ran found out where you live, he always comes by to let you heal his “injuries”.

You’re not complaining though. Despite the rumors and warnings, Ran was much more different from what other people say. He may be cocky and teasing, but the beautiful man sure is nice when it comes to you.

Causing you to develop a little crush on him.

You opened the door as you welcomed Ran. “Now, what do we have for tonight?”

Ran stepped in as he walked towards the couch. Laying as if he lives around here. “I got a bump on my forehead.” He pointed out as he pouted at you.

“You have Rindou! And you call yourself notorious but you come here whining like a baby.” you rolled your eyes as you got in the kitchen getting an ice pack for the man.

“Here.” You handed out the ice pack as you stood up in front of him.

“No.” Ran rolled his eyes. “Kiss it, Y/N.” he pouted once again.

“You’re not a baby, Ran. Tch.” you sighed as you sat across him. “Take a nap here and I’ll cook for you when you wake up.”

“Now, wifey material aren’t we.” Ran teased as he closed his eyes. Holding the ice packet against his forehead.

About a good 10 minutes have passed and you never heard another bicker from Ran. As you look at him, the man seems to be sleeping like a log.

You crouched down near him. Observing his features. You must say, he’s quite beautiful and more attractive when less chaotic.

“You’re such a big baby.” Thinking that he’s asleep, you kissed the small bump on his forehead.

As you got up to prepare his late dinner, a hand clutched yours.

You felt your body freeze for a moment as you turned around and saw a bastard smiling cockily.

“Do it again, Y/N.” Ran grinned at you as he held on tighter on your hand. “I’m a big baby but your baby.”

“Let me go!.” your face was beat red as you tried to yank off your hands. Only failing as Ran grabbed your arms causing you to fall on top of him.

“I like you, Y/N” Ran hugged you tightly while you were a blushing mess on top of him. “So let's just stay like this for a while.”

And you did.

Being with Ran isn’t so bad after all.

Rindou Haitani

If there’s one thing you’re proud of, it’s the skill you have for coloring people’s hair.

You like dyeing your hair, your friend’s hair, your cousins, and to just anyone who asks for your help. So it was no surprise when Rindou asked you to help him in doing his highlights.

Of course you can’t say no. Not because he is a Haitani but because you actually like his presence. When you’re around him, everything seems more calm and peaceful.

Despite being a menace around Roppongi, you and Rindou are actually good friends. You’ve known each other when he saved your ass around a group of guys who tried to harass you. And although he was stoic to you at first, he was able to ease up to you because of your caring nature.

After all, you recognized him as Rindou Haitani and not “Ran’s younger brother”. And he appreciated you for it.

So now here you are in their living room. Currently finished in dyeing Rindou’s hair.

“And there you have it. We just have to wait for an hour or so before washing it.” You tidied all the mess up as Ran sat and observed you. “By the way, why won’t you let me dye Ran’s hair?”

He raised an eyebrow upon your question. “Because he can’t have you.” Your eyes widened from his statement. Rindou, realizing what he just said, covered it up with an excuse. “I mean, I want him to dye his own hair and let it look shit. If he wants someone to dye his hair properly, he can go to the salon.”

You laughed at his statement. Well, he can actually crack up jokes once in a while if he loosens up his strict facade. “Oh Rindou, we also need to buy an extra conditioner.”

You looked up and saw the man with closed eyes. Deciding that you don’t want to disturb his sleep, you sat quietly beside him and observed him.

Rindou is already handsome with his glasses. But you realized that he looks much cuter without one.

He just looks good in anything.

You traced the bridge of his nose as you admired his features. “You know what? I actually might have feelings for you.” you muttered softly as you smiled.

“Let’s go out on a date then.” Rindou opened his eyes as he looked at you. Your lips a few inches away from his.

“Rindou!!!” You sat up straight. “I thought you were-”

“Asleep? Well I’m not.” he smiled at you as reached out for your hand. “But I meant it Y/N. I like you, and I want us to go on a date.” Rindou looked at you, hoping for an immediate response.

He does like you. After all, you were the only person who he was able to open up to other than Ran.

“Okay.” You smiled as you brushed your thumb at the top of his hand.

Rindou caressed your cheeks. Leaning in and going for a kiss.

“Ohh. Can I join?” a teasing voice butted in. Causing you two to look at the tall man who’s leaning in the doorframe. “I mean can I join Y/N’s dye party? Just continue that later.”

“Ran, get out!” Rindou shouted as he pointed at the door to his brother.

Well, things quickly escalated with the brothers.

As well as your relationship with Rindou.