#anyway. I was complaining about trade evolutions.

[gaydryad]

oh also why are there So Many trade evolutions

[inkelea]

SKZ AS ANIMAL CROSSING PLAYERS! ✭

pairing: ot8 x gn!reader

synopsis: how do each member play animal crossing and how it made you grow close with each other.

genre: fluff. headcanons.

warnings: chan is a sweetheart<3, LINO’S PART IS CHAOTIC. in general all of this is very chaotic.

word count: 1.7k

a/n: animal crossing is so>>>> ik tmblr is full of 12 y/o but I hope you all know what new leaf is. you can see how I lost inspiration through the members😔, I’m still hoping it’s good. this has a lot of references to animal crossing as a whole (obviously) so if you’re not in touch with the game you might not understand:(

#BANG CHAN!

this man YOU ALL, THIS MAN.

he’s the good neighbor.

his animal crossing daily routine is: loading the game, eat three pieces of whichever fruit was the one that he got, and greet his villagers.

if you ask him about his no. 1 priority he’ll always answer the same: forming good and meaningful relationships with his villagers

you can argue with the possibility of that since villagers personalities start to get watered down in new leaf

BUT HE DOESN’T CARE

every day he talks with them and helps them with whatever they need

chan will go down in history as villagers no. 1 defender

“most important part of the game, without them there’s no game. that’s why new horizons is shit” HE’LL BE SAYING, EVERYDAY, WHILE THEY’RE ON TOUR

at least two hours of his day are spent on animal crossing without exception

don’t ask him how, he just does it

big on villagers lore, he’ll tell you everything there is to tell about tom nook’s evolution through the games

probably likes him too

so hear me out, maybe you were a staff member and heard the 4pm soundtrack, and AHHHH

since then you would get in petty arguments about which villagers are the best ones

you definitely visit the others town when he’s on break

you have dates where you see which one of the both of you can help more villagers under an hour

yea, you’re nerds like that:)

#LEE KNOW!

okay so these headcanons are about new leaf but…

you can’t tell me he wouldn’t play new horizons and be the trader

THIS LITTLE SHIT RIGHT HERE

he would be one of the ones who went crazy over raymond

paying ridiculous amount of bells to get him on his island

he would be on nookazon EVERYDAY

he’s a man of business

also on the stalk market

half of his island are rows of growing turnips. it gets to the point where villagers start to complain about it. he doesn’t care.

chan tells him to drop his “rebellious act” as he calls it

but he excuses himself saying it comes from way back

yes i am implying that 14 year old lino was already doing suspicious things on new leaf

TOTALLY TIME TRAVELS

and gets his turnips spoiled from doing it wrong…

BUT ANYWAY

you aren’t any better, you two meet when he’s looking to get raymond and you’re selling him

since then you get used to trade only with the other

aww, look at you, being criminal only with each other🫶🫶🫶

why can I see you holding a new horizons red lily cardboard cutout in a concert?

#SEO CHANGBIN!

and here comes the most normal person on this bullet fic

my guy here is so the escapist

!!!

he’s prone to stop playing the game for months only to come back to find his hair like a mess

(and he doesn’t have shampoodle yet)

(probably doesn’t have kicks either🤪)

by escapist i mean escaping from the real world and from playing the game

he loves the soothing feeling the game carries and gives him in stressful times, but he often feels too lazy to get in the game and do everything he wants to do

like.. fishing, catching bugs, looking for fossils… it’s too MUCH

probably doesn’t ever change outfits, entered in able sisters maximum five times

but that’s okay

it’s isn’t about the looks it’s about the friendships you make along the way💗

or that’s what you tell him

SO LISTEN

you met in high school, started dating and you introduced him to the amazing world of what animal crossing is

you try and get him to play wild world first, but it’s a nono for him

says the graphics are too ugly💀

you sigh, move on, and remember to be grateful for getting him to play new leaf

you still can’t believe he’s been playing for so long and still has kicks locked

he gives you the cold shoulder every time you mention it

you still send him texts every other week reminding him to log in

just for the sake of doing so and greeting his villagers

you’re lucky he loves you, if not, you’d be blocked already😘

#HWANG HYUNJIN!

we all know he’s a pretty good artist

and in animal crossing, he’s the artist too

OBSESSED WITH FURNITURE

type of person who spent the 7,595,800 bells to expand his house to the fullest

for what? to decorate it with everything his heart desires

yep, each room has a different aesthetic

OBSSESED WITH THE FROGGY CHAIR

went nuts when he saw its absence in new horizons

new horizons no. 2 hater

(first one is chan)

has beef with people who don’t care about their house appearance

THIS MAN SPENT YEARS MAKING HIS PERFECT HOUSE

just for a delusional person to tell him it isn’t that important

yes, you’re that person

your first conversation about the game is him rambling about his love for decorating and you telling him how you never really cared about how your house looked

OH BOY

he almost throws hands

jk

he’s just VERY PASSIONATE, he loves what he loves yk

he steals your nintendo one day and decorates it as much as he can

you give him a big old smooch when you see it<3

#HAN JISUNG!

hannie💗💗💗

THIS ONE RIGHT HERE: the collector

he wants ALL

he spends his days catching bugs on the town, going after crickets that jump away from him

every day, without missing, he wastes 1,000 bells on going to tortimer island to try and get a whale shark so he can give it to blathers

no but seriously he does spend more time on tortimer island than in his own town

LOVES THE MINIGAMES!!

forces lino to play with him

(he sucks at the scavenger hunt tour)

he would enter the same house a million times to try and find the stupid object he has left

ANYWAY

when he found the t-rex skull..

he looked like he had just won the lottery

random fact but loveees gyroids

BFFS WITH BLATHERS

loves him so so much

spends hours going around the museum and reading every info plaque!!

tells the members little facts about dinosaurs everyday since then

has a blathers plushie🥰

YOU GAVE IT TO HIM!!!!

you met by a friend of a friend who does animal crossing youtube videos

ofc the blathers and brewster stans would end up together

your brewster plushie appears in the background of one of han’s vlogs and fans went crazy about it

little did they know it was a gift from him that you forgot in his house the last time you visited

#LEE FELIX!

our sunshine!!!

he’s the dreamer

and what does that mean you might ask

well, his whole animal crossing experience rests on dream addresses

luna best character!!

(as he says)

he loves going around other people’s dream towns. his favorite pastime fr

WAS ON ACNL TUMBLR IN 2015

you can still find his abandoned (but not deactivated) account in present day

doesn’t regret anything!

not even losing time entering more than five times every day in the town hall to try and find isabelle sleeping so he can have the dream suite in main street

it takes luna so long to arrive at his town😔

luna you’re making lix sad:((

but yea

big fan of dream towns

and so, you meet when he visits your dream town (you left your address written in some desk at school) and you become friends (in 2015)

DEVASTATED WHEN HE BECAME A TRAINEE

but everything was good again when he debuted and started playing again

you guys reconnected and started talking more again

AND started dating not much later:)

(long distance kinda hard)

you probably move to seoul

or maybe not, who knows…

#KIM SEUNGMIN!

the bully.

yep, you read that right

THIS MAN’S A BULLY

to who?

HIS VILLAGERS

type of player who’s least favorite villager is hopper bc he’s “scary”

like he doesn’t have his villagers traumatized himself

he wants his favorites on his town, and he’ll get them

he doesn’t care, he’ll do whatever is needed

knows every single way of getting ugly villagers out of his island

his favorite tho? probably pushing them into pitfalls

laughs out loud while they cry out in their little dialogue

knows every dialogue by heart

i swear this man has seen every single angry dialogue one by one

forgives the dog villagers from his torture🤞

HAS HIT TOM IN THE HEAD WITH A NET TOO MANY TIMES

oh you know seungmin is a wild life lover

AND YOU🫵

you’re as bad as him

you love to shit-talk about hopper (and some other villagers) together

will send each other photos of your villagers being angry

you guys would feel bad if it didn’t help you release so much stress

visits to the other’s island to meet the other’s enemies- villagers i mean

what can i say, you guys are just menaces in love

#YANG JEONGIN!

don’t let our maknae fool you

he’s no innocent angel

BABY BREAD: GONE

he’s the achiever

you know how this is about new leaf?

well, he’s an acnh player too

and you know what his goal is?

EVERYTHING

and not in the collector, han jisung, kinda way

we’re talking of EVERYTHING

he NEEDS to have those 4,059,999 bells at all times

terraforms like his life depends on it

and space to walk? he doesn’t know it, just like lino, most of his island is covered in turnips

he didn’t sleep until he got the street piano diy recipe

LIKE, HOW COULD HE?

very big fan on getting into fights with people online about new horizons awesomeness

he was raised by lino after all

HOWEVER

he did not get the trading villagers gene at all

doesn’t have time for that shit💀

more like the type of want EVERYTHING, but for himself

and for you<3

HEAR ME OUT, you meet at a gaming convention (acnl era)

before he became a trainee

AND YOU JUST CLICK

the time he saw you looking at animal crossing stickers with wide eyes and a big smile

he knew he had lost the battle

it’s tough but you are able to maintain contact

first as friends

and then as partners:D

he loves giving you stuff incredibly difficult to get in-game

and you love to send him letters thanking him for it💗

@mochamvgz

© inkelea on tumblr | don't copy, repost or plagiarize my work.

[kassandras-one-braincell]

ugh when is it my turn to have an irl kassandra i would do anything for her .

anyways what kinds of clothing styles, jobs, or just general day-to-day life (like their houses) do you think modern!kassie/eivor/soma would have?

Pssh, it's not like I've given this any extensive thought in the past or anything... That would be weird... Who would do that haha

I would let's go

Kassandra dresses like a dad who lost his passport in Tenerife on holiday and has been stuck cycling between the same 4 hawaiian shirts since three Tuesdays ago, but owns a few casual suits for work.

She's a historian and museum curator. Specialises in the history of weaponry, occasionally giving guest lectures on ancient swords at universities. Mention any type of weapon and she will not be able to stop herself from rambling about its evolution over the centuries.

Has a pottery wheel. You know that scene from Ghost (1990)? Yeah. Very reliable with the ladies.

Ikaros is her pet eagle, do not ask her how she manages to get him pet insurance because she may have lied about his species.

She has a vegetable garden (her pride and joy, this might as well be her child with how well she takes care of it) and a briki to make coffee with. Kassie always starts her day off with freshly brewed coffee the traditional Greek way, some bread and some fruit, which she always plates too much of because Ikaros likes to steal it.

She's a great cook.

Dozens of books on old weapons are dotted about her home and some (so many. so fucking many holy shit) model replicas because she's a fucking nerd.

You cannot turn a corner inside her home without seeing at least three family photos. Family includes Myrrine, Alexios, Barnabas, Herodotos, Markos, Alkibiades and Phoibe. Nikolaos is in prison for trying to yeet his stepchildren off a cliff.

Phoibe is her goddaughter who calls her "auntie" and Auntie Kass absolutely gives her the world.

━━━( ͡ಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠ)━━━

Eivor serves lumberjack realness. Flannels, cargo pants, work jeans, yes she has a tool belt, yes she looks a damn treat in it. All she's missing is the hard hat and the protective visor. The axe is in her workshop.

She wears glasses. This isn't up for debate.

Tattoo artist by trade and has a degree in literature. Her love for poetry knows no bounds. She specialises in black and grey realism and her pieces are breathtaking.

Speaking of poetry, her colleagues bully her mercilessly for being a "big old sap". She has fancy paper to write her poems up on, and a wax sealing kit for handwritten letters. She's old fashioned like that.

Technology is a demon she would rather not trifle with. 100% complains about the need for there to be an app for everything, but she does appreciate video calls so she can see her people.

As a hobby, she pursues woodworking and blacksmithing, sometimes selling her creations. She'd make the engagement ring she proposes to you with herself

Dwolfg (or Chewy, or Mouse) Nali and Dandelion Puff are all beloved members of her household. The neighbours' kids named them all; sometimes she babysits Knud and Sylvi, and of course Eira has to tag along.

Her fridge is full of boring meal prep (you better wife her up and cook for her) but her pantry? Brimming with baking supplies. Ma'am loves to bake. Sure, she eats a lot of grrr protein big strong macro gym buzzword meals, but she loves bread and cake. Big muscles but she likes to eat, so she isn't lean, I'm gonna stop before this gets unreasonably gay

━━━( ͡ಠ ͜ʖ ͡ಠ)━━━

Soma, look, this is gonna be specific, but there's foundations for this in game (her metric fuck ton of rugs in the longhouse). She evidently likes fancy things. Her modern!AU occupation: owner and ceo of a sustainable luxury jewellery brand. Recycled metals, gemstones that are sourced/synthesised sustainably, everything is ethically manufactured and her employees are paid well.

She's from humble beginnings, so she does loads for charity and really enjoys quiet domesticated tasks.

Waistcoats and tie when she's attending businessy things, simple t-shirt or jumper and joggers when working from home. Outside, she wears a few rings that she designed.

Not a particularly great cook, but she's a mean pastry chef. She has a massive sweet tooth. Loves to start her mornings with a homemade croissant and a cappuccino.

There is a post-it note above her desk to reminder her to straighten her posture because she tends to sit like a fucking goblin.

Her home is pretty eclectic, which takes people by surprise given her organised manner. Lots of blankets strewn over the couch, lots of knickknacks she collected over the years, some sentimental ones from Lif and some ruder ones from Birna. A few sketchbooks are scattered about with designs for work.

She has a record player and an ungodly collection of country vinyls. It's okay. Nobody's perfect. It's what makes her human.

Also needs to wear glasses, but wears contacts usually because she insists the specs make her look "old", oblivious to the distant sounds of feral lesbian screaming whenever she puts them on.

[protokirby]

I was playing pokemon shining pearl and I wanted to use a steelix but realized I couldn't use one because I needed to be able to trade. I have sisters who also play pokemon, but

My twin sister doesn't like playing her switch this time of year because her room gets invaded by ants if she turns it on these months. No clue why. Heck, my room has been getting ant infestations like crazy lately and I've been playing my switch a lot so maybe ants like the way the switch smells when it's on???

My older sister has been becoming more and more like those "nobody hates pokemon more than pokemon fans" memes over the years like she'll buy the games and then complain to me nonstop for some reason about every little thing she hates about the game/spew insults about the pokemon games. The whole 9 yards. and I'm 99.9% sure she doesn't even have brilliant diamond or shining pearl. Also even if she does, I don't want her jealous rant about how I'm able to replay a game as many times as I want without getting bored while she gets bored before one complete playthrough like okay?? It sounds like a living hell to be that uneasily entertained but I don't need to hear about it every few weeks. So she's not an option to trade pokemon with.

As for my younger sister, she'd probably be the best choice but idk. Some days she's nice to be around, other days she'll be carrying around a butcher knife and a bad attitude so I'm scared to approach her to begin with.

But I found something cool while curiously and optimistically going into pokemon home.

I was messing around and discovered I was able to move a growlithe that I caught in pokemon scarlet into previous games. I put it into pokemon shield and looked at its stats and things and when I curiously checked for where it was caught, it said caught in a far away place. I guess it would be obvious it wouldn't say caught in paldea. Dunno what I was expecting XD

Anyhoo

This is really good because if I can do that, I can do other things.

I moved the onix from pokemon shining pearl into legends arceus because there, I can easily just slap a metal coat onto an onix to evolve it without trading and then I was able to move the new steelix back into shining pearl.

I didn't expect this to work at first because of how it was in the 3ds era when if i moved pokemon from x and y or whatever into sun and moon, they could never return to where they came from. Similar to moving mons from gen 3 to gen 4. They would never return to the games they were from. So I'm used to that kind of thing.

Anyway, this is mindblowing to me and extremely good for when I can't trade pokemon with my sisters. Unfortunately can't use this if I want to evolve a trade evolution mon that isn't in legends arceus such as a swirlix but this is still an amazing discovery.

What I hate about pokemon home though is that you need a paid subscription if you want to get mons from the 3ds. I can't afford that all the time so I need to make sure I'm absolutely ready and absolutely ready means I want to catch an entire box worth or more of xurkitree in s/m/us/um before I think it's worth it. Unlike in all the switch games though, I wouldn't be able to move the xurkitrees back but like- I keep wanting to camp with a full team of xurkitrees and have plenty more xurkitrees to have around :D

[mermaidsirennikita]

I hope the show isn't making the slow burn/less sex change for season 2 because people were complaining about Daphne and Simon getting together too soon last season. A couple getting married in the middle of the book is pretty standard for HR. I actually think I've read more books were the couple gets married at the beginning rather then the end. Or at least they have sex sooner even if they're not married.

Here's how I feel about it, having not seen the show and being determined to judge it for myself.

While I think that you can ABSOLUTELY have a great romance without explicit onscreen sex; and while I think there can be a trade-off for having fewer sex scenes (if the quality of them is good, if the ramp up makes them hotter, if the nature in which they occur is more exciting)... I don't think there's going to be a way I won't have some level of issue with the show having less sex in principle, if that makes sense?

It's because, I think, it feels like a response to the general prudishness people have been displaying towards onscreen sex as of late, and there's not a way that it doesn't read as more of an effort to ensemble the show and make it less of a romance. Because while I definitely get why they changed plot elements (I genuinely do not care about that by and large, unless the plot elements changed negatively affect characterization; I liked TVWLM, but I have no deep emotional attachment to the book) I think that the amount of subplots present suggest that... Everything could've happened a bit faster if we weren't also giving screentime to the Featherington heir, or Eloise Does Feminism. Which doesn't just mean you could have more sex--it also means you could have more emotional depth for Kate. Which would PROBABLY include her sexual evolution, as is often the case with HR.

If there hadn't been a precedent set with season 1, if this was the same couple we were returning to who we'd already seen fuck like crazy, dialing down sex would have no... idk, lol, political significance for me? But as a romance reader, knowing that trad publishing is toning sex down (releasing more tame romcom books, getting rid of stepbacks and shirtless men on covers and replacing them with cartoon covers that make the book look appropriate for 12 year olds) it's a bummer to watch the first true historical romance novel adaptation do the same thing.

Also, I don't really care about the success of the show because I don't think there's a chance that they get to the couple I care about anyway lol... But I don't know how having a dozen articles with titles like "Bridgerton Still Good, Way Less Sex Tho" is going to help promote the show. Like. I feel very strongly that the audience that originally watched watched in part because they heard of fuckathons occurring.

People want to go on main and act like they hate seeing sex, and Mine Eyes Have Been Violated By The Filth, but lol. The numbers would suggest that they're actually turning the fuck out to watch people fuck it out. The fact that the 50 Shades movies, LEGITIMATELY horrible movies based on horrible books, made as much money at the box office as they did? Before direct to streaming releases corresponding with theater releases were a thing? Is huge. People trotted out to actual movie theaters because they thought they were gonna see that girl get her back cracked (the sex scenes in 50 Shades are actually v. lame, but the promise of them is the thing).

Add in the prospect of streaming, where you don't even have to watch with other people if you don't want to... Look at how well 365 DNI did at Netflix. I know that a lot of y'all reject that movie (a film I hold as a BADGE OF FUCKING HONOR) but that shit was all over the place in their top 10 for weeks.

Sex does sell. And the great thing about having sex scenes as opposed to not having them is that if you want to be a prude about it, you can also fast forward. You can't add them back in. And I just don't think that the correct response to people flipping out because the hot duke was gone and where will the sex appeal be now with Generic White Men 1-3 in the leading roles was....... to dial down the sex scenes lol. Like, give this Generic White Man his chance to show that he can throw down, you know?

So while I may still fully enjoy the love story and enjoy the sex that is there, I know myself--there's no way that I wouldn't have appreciated more, there's no way I won't read into why there's less (I mean, even aside from Anthony and Kate, bizarre that you don't hear about Benedict fucking around in the background like Anthony did in season 1), and there's no way that they wouldn't have been better off keeping the levels where they were in s1. Which you could definitely do, while maintaining a slow burn. If anything, I think you need to make the payoff for the slow burn very worth it.

[ilikekidsshows]

One thing that pisses me off not just about the miraculous fandom but modern fandoms is fans inability to consume long overarching stories.

Like so many people are complaining about how long the reveal is taking or why haven't certain characters outgrown this trait yet or why is this character arc botched or abandoned. Like guys we just got the confirmation this show will be 7 seasons long PLUS like 3 tv specials. We're only roughly halfway through the series.

Once the reveal happens half the tension in the show is gone! I'm not saying leave the reveal till season 7 and make us wait 9 years this isn't HIMYM but miraculous is not a fast paced story. It's a long haul story. I just wish more fans would be patient. Miraculous is in the extremely fortunate and rare position that it will have a conclusive end and not be suddenly cancelled. That was and still is a huge problem for shows and cartoons with dedicated fans but networks pull the plug for stupid ass reasons.

So miraculous fans please chill the fuck out on things not resolving right away. We still have 78+ episodes plus the tv specials. If we get the end to certain things now it'll be so boring.

I think the concept of Instant Gratification describes the issue with many modern fandoms today. I hate to sound like I'm anti-technology, but the constant stream of quick and short bursts of entertainment allowed by the information age has made people more impatient. It's not about waiting for the climax to get a deeper sense of satisfaction, it's about getting that instant gratification right this instant. It's why one-shot fanfics are all over the place, when multi-chapter stories used to be just as common and popular, if not even more so, and it’s also why people are less willing to read a fic that’s still a work in progress. It's why people refuse to watch Youtube video essays even as they leave comments on the topic based on the title and thumbnail alone because, while they couldn't be assed to watch a 20-minute video (let alone an hour long one), they sure can spend that time calling the Youtuber names and making arguments the video actually already refutes. It's why a lot of online arguments happen only because one party read nothing but the first and maybe the last paragraph of someone's post and skipped all the explanation for their point of view (if I've ignored an counter argument for one of my posts, it was either because I missed it or because said counter argument did this. I have attention deficit issues so I do genuinely forget responses sometimes, but I'm also not writing a second essay for someone who's proven to me they won't read it).

Of course, it's only by constantly consuming only fast-paced content that you can become this impatient. People have different ideas about stories based on what stories they have encountered in the past.

Another thing that influences the Miraculous fandom in particular is that, while I love to show off exactly how much Miraculous has done to build up the overarching plotlines, Miraculous isn't really a show that's about a single story. It's easy to understand why people think it is one though: there's one main villain, we keep discovering more about the mythology, one of the main plot threads is the romantic relationship between the leads and singular episodes and plot elements tend to get payoff later. What is the purpose of a show if not to progress the story? Because the heroes aren't getting closer to defeating Gabriel or getting together, people think that the story isn't accomplishing anything.

I'll do a comparison to illustrate why these things aren't as clear-cut signs of a continuous storyline as people think. In the Spider-Man comics, you can pick any issue up and the chances are that the villain will be a part of Spider-Man's already established Rogues Gallery, who's back for more after who knows how many defeats, and those past defeats might even get referenced in callbacks to previous issues. It's also very possible that Peter and Mary Jane's relationship is the central focus with them not being together yet, having relationship problems or even having broken up (in really old issues the girl might be Gwen Stacy and short-term options have also always been available for romantic entanglements). Does this mean Spider-Man is a continuous story where the only point is that all the villains get put away for good and Peter and MJ live happily ever after? No, it doesn't. Spider-Man is designed to go on indefinitely, so there's no clear ending point. So, what is the point of Spider-Man then, if there is no Ending?

It used to be the single issue, because comic books used to have every issue be a stand-alone story about the hero and their supportive cast. These days it's more every three-to-six issues, because superhero comics are written to have short story arcs that can then be collected into trade paperbacks. A superhero series is not a single story; it's a series that functions as a story engine, meaning the series can generate several shorter stories where the hero helps fix a problem or solve a mystery.

In the superhero genre a villain will never get killed off or removed from stories permanently as long as the writers think they can still come up with stories to tell about them. The hero's romantic life will never be completely smooth sailing unless the writer is using other things to ramp up the stakes. Everything always allows for there to be another adventure.

I think the huge success of Avatar: the Last Airbender made people think that a series that is a single story is always superior to a series with multiple shorter plots. When I was liveblogging Sailor Moon, a viewer offered to give me a list of all the non-filler episodes because they genuinely thought I'd feel like I was wasting time on the show otherwise. This attitude is simply not based on fact. It's not fair to compare Miraculous Ladybug to Avatar, because they're both setting up to do completely different things. Miraculous Ladybug is trying to become a brand, like Batman or Spider-Man. It is part of the "Zag Heroes" lineup, a series of French-created superhero franchises to compete in the America-centric superhero market. This challenge is good for the genre, because Marvel and DC have started resembling each other more and more as these companies stew in their old ideas and copy everything that worked for the other one. The superhero genre needs new blood.

Also, Avatar: the Last Airbender first became popular by doing episodic plots for almost the entirety of the first season because it's actually not a wise choice to expect the audience to be willing to commit to a story that'll only give payoff later when working with an untested IP. Very often shows with longer story arcs start with the episodic format to hook people first, and sometimes the more linear plot is introduced specifically because the audience for the show is now expected to be both dedicated enough and older and capable of keeping up. Because, here's the thing: you can't expect little kids to remember every episode or even every character you've introduced in your show. I'm not sure if people are ready to hear that but I'm throwing it out there anyway. Kids are not dumb, they can understand more complex storylines, but many kids are still training their memory, so they might not remember the details of complex storylines that go on for too long.

This is why the news that Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season was going to have a recommended viewing order originally had me concerned. Miraculous is being branded for kids. The plot requiring too much skill in memorizing story details will make it less accessible to kids and might put those two additional seasons at risk. However, it seems that the "constantly changing status quo" concept of Truth, Lies and Gang of Secrets was a fluke and the evolution of the show is more subtle, so they might not be cutting the amount of episodes for those final seasons because the show is getting too complicated for kids to follow all the important details.

Regardless, Miraculous Ladybug being an adventure cartoon TV show instead of a comic book or a more cheaper-to-produce TV drama does mean that Miraculous Ladybug isn’t expected to go on for decades like a superhero comic or a soap opera. Because of this, it can have evolution and changes and even a planned ending. The show is expected to end at some point, even by the people making money off of it, mostly because making a cartoon like this indefinitely costs a lot of money, and kids’ adventure shows tend to see a decrease in returns if they go on for too long.

[him-e]

what did you think of shadow and bone? have you read the books? i only read the duology

Thoughts on Shadow and Bone, now that you've probably seen it?

I think the show is alright? It lacks a real wow factor as far as I’m concerned, but it’s enjoyable. It’s especially enjoyable in those parts I didn’t anticipate to like / didn’t even know would be there. 

Whereas the main selling points leave a lot to be desired.

The good stuff: the visuals. The aesthetic. The overall concept. Production, casting and costumes are excellent, the setting is fascinating. The worldbuilding isn’t perfect and is sometimes confusing, which is probably due to the show jumping ahead of the books and introducing elements that happen much later in the book saga, but I’m loving the vague steampunk-y vibe of it mixed with more typical fantasy stuff and slavic-inspired lore, the fact that it’s set in dystopian Russia rather than your usual ye olde England.

I find it interesting that in this ‘verse the Grisha are simultaneously superstars, privileged elite, legendary creatures and despised outcasts, according to the context and the type of magic they wield. It’s A Lot, and so far it’s all a bit underdeveloped and messy, like a patchwork of different narratives and tropes sewn together without an organic worldbuilding structure. (there are hints to a past when they were hunted, but how did they go from that to being, essentially, an institutionalized asset to the government isn’t clear yet. There’s huge narrative potential in this, and I hope future seasons will delve into those aspects)

Many of the supporting characters are surprisingly solid. I appreciated that Genya and Zoya eventually sort of traded places, subverting the audience’s assumptions about them and their own character stereotypes, despite the little screentime they were given.

Breakout characters/ships for me were Nina/Matthias, and even more so the Crows, i.e. the stuff I didn’t see coming and knew nothing about (having only read the first book). (I thought the entire Crows subplot was handled in a somewhat convoluted way, at least in the first episodes; it was hard to keep track of who wanted Alina and why, but the Crows’ chemistry is so strong it carried the whole Plot B on its shoulders).

HELNIK. As an enemies to lovers dynamic, Helnik was SUPER on the nose, I’d say bordering on clichéd with the unapologetic, straight outta fanfiction use of classic tropes like “we need to team up to survive” and “there’s only one bed and we’ll freeze to death if we don’t take our conveniently damp clothes off and keep each other warm with the heat of our naked bodies” (not that I’m complaining, but i like to pine for my ships a bit before getting to the juicy tropetown part, tyvm). And then they’re suddenly on opposite sides again because of a tragic misunderstanding - does Bardugo hate high-conflict dynamics? It certainly seems so, because between Helnik and Darklina I’m starting to see a pattern where the slow burn and blossoming mutual trust is rushed and painted in broad, stereotypical strokes to get as fast as possible to the part where they *hate each other again* and that’s... huh. Something.

^That’s probably why I’m almost more interested in Kaz x Inej, because their relationship feels a bit more nuanced, a bit more mysterious, and a bit more unpredictable. (I didn’t bother spoiling myself about them, so I really don’t know where they’re going, but it’s refreshing to see a dynamic that the narrative isn’t scrambling to define in one direction or the other as quickly as possible)

-

Now, as for Darklina VS Malina... I found exactly what I expected. 

Both are ship dynamics I’m, on principle, very much into (light heroine/dark villain, pining friends to lovers) but both are also much less interesting than they claim to be, or could have been with different narrative choices. I’ll concede that the show characters are all more fleshed out and likable than their book counterparts, and the cringe parts I vaguely remembered from the books played out differently. And, well, Ben Barnes dominates the scene, he’s hot as HELL, literally every single second he’s on screen is a fuck you to Bardugo’s attempts to make his character lame and uninteresting and I’m LOVING it, lol.

But yeah, B Barnes aside, Darklina is intrinsically, deliberately made to be unshippable. 

It makes me mad, because it’s - archetypally speaking - made of shipping dynamite: yin/yang-sun and moon, opposites attract, COMPLEMENTARY POWERS AND SO ON. And what does Bardugo do with these ingredients? A FUCKING DELIBERATE DISASTER:

^ Placing the kiss so early on (season 1, episode five) effectively kills the romantic tension that was (correctly) building up until that point, and leaves the audience very little to still hope for, in terms of emotional evolution of the dynamic. 

Bardugo lays all the good stuff down as early and quickly as possible (the bonding, the conflicted attraction, the recognizing the other as one’s equal, etc) only to turn the tables and pull the rug so y’all sick creepyshippers won’t have anything to look forward to, because THEY’VE ALREADY HOOKED UP AND THAT BELONGS TO THE PAST, IT’S OVER, THEY’RE ENEMIES. This, combined to the fact that she falls for him *without* knowing who he really is, is the opposite of what I want from a heroine/villain ship (it’s basically lovers to enemies, and while that can be valid too, I wanted to see more pining and more prolonged, tormented symbolic attraction to the Shadow/Animus on Alina’s part). 

But here’s the trick: it’s not marketed as lovers to enemies - it has all the aesthetics and trappings of an enemies to lovers (the Darkling is, from the get go, villain-presenting, starting from his name), so it genuinely feels like a trollfic, or at the very least a cautionary tale *against* shipping the heroine with the tall dark brooding young villain, and I don’t think it’s cool at all. It makes the story WAY less interesting, because it humanizes the villain early on (when it’s not yet useful or poignant to the story, because it’s unearned) but it’s a red herring. The real plot twist is that the villain shouldn’t be sympathized with, just defeated: there’s a promise of nuanced storytelling, that is quickly denied and tossed aside. So is the idea of incorporating your Shadow (a notion that Bardugo must be familiar with, otherwise she wouldn’t have structured Alina and the Darkling as polar opposites who complement each other, but that she categorically refutes)

Then we have Malina. The good ship.

Look, I’m not that biased against it. I don’t want to be biased on principle against a friends to lovers dynamic that antagonizes a heroine/villain one, because every narrative is different, and for personal reasons I can deeply relate to the idea of being (unspeakably) in love with your best friend. So there are aspects of Malina that I can definitely be into, but it troubles me that in this specific context it’s framed as a regression. It’s Alina’s comfort zone, a fading dream of happiness from an idealized childhood, to sustain which the heroine systematically stunts her growth and literally repressed her own powers, something that in the books made her sickly and weak. But the narrative weirdly romanticizes this codependency, often making her tunnel vision re: going back to Mal her primary goal and centering on him her entire backstory/motivation, to the point that when she starts acting more serious re: her powers and alleged mission to destroy the Fold, it feels inorganic and unearned. 

Mal is intrinsically extraneous to Alina’s powers, he doesn’t share them, he doesn’t understand them, he has little to offer to help her with them, and so the feeling is that he’s also extraneous to her heroine’s journey, aside from being a sort of sidekick or safe harbor to eventually come back to. People have compared him to Raoul from Phantom of the Opera, and yeah, he has the same ~magic neutralizer~ vibe, tbh.

The narrative also polarizes Mal’s normalcy and relative “safety” against Aleksander’s sexy evil, framing Alina’s quasi-platonic fixation on the former as a better and purer form of love than her (much more visible and palpable) attraction to the latter. This is exacerbated by the show almost entirely relying on scenes of them as kids to convey their bond. I’m sure there are ways to depict innocent pining for your best friend that don’t involve obsessively focusing on flashbacks of two CHILDREN running in a meadow and looking exactly like brother and sister. LIKE. I get it, they’re like soulmates in every possible way, BUT DO THEY WANT TO KISS EACH OTHER?

Which brings me to a general complain: for a young adult saga centering on a young heroine and full of so many hot people, this story is weirdly unsexy? There are a lot of shippable dynamics, but they’re done in such a careless, ineffective way that makes ZERO EFFORT to work on stuff like slow burn, pining and romantic tension, and when it does it’s so heavy handed that the viewer doesn’t feel encouraged at all to fill the blanks with their imagination and start anticipating things (which is, imo, the ESSENCE of shipping). The one dynamic that got vaguely close to this is, again, Kaz and Inej, and coincidentally it’s also the one we didn’t get confirmed as romantic YET. Other than that, where’s the slow burn? What ship am I supposed to agonize over during the hiatus to season two? Has shipping become something to feel ashamed of, like an embarrassing relative you no longer want to invite in your home?

Anyway, back to Alina/Darkling/Mal, this is how the story reads to me:

girl suspects to be special, carefully pretends to be normal so she can stay with Good Boy

the girl’s powers eventually manifest; she’s forcibly separated from Good Boy

the girl’s powers attract Bad Boy who is her equal and opposite but is also a major asshole

girl initially falls for Bad Boy; has to learn a hard lesson that nobody that sexy will ever want her for who she is, he’s just trying to exploit her

also, no, there is no such thing as a Power Couple

girl is literally given a slave collar by Bad Boy through which he harnesses her power (a parody of the Twin Scars trope)

you know how the story initially suggested that the joint powers of Darkness and Light would defeat evil? LOL NO, Darkness is actually evil itself and the way you destroy evil is using Light to destroy Darkness, forget that whole Jungian bullshit of integrating your shadow, silly!

conclusion: girl realizes being special sucks. She was right all along! Hiding and suppressing her powers was the best choice! She goes back to the start, to the same Good Boy she was meekly pining for prior to the start of the story.

... there’s an uncomfortable overall subtext that reads a lot like a cautionary tale against - look, not just against darkships and villain/heroine pairings, but also *overpowered* heroines and, well... change? Growth?

Like, it’s certainly a Choice that Alina starts the story *already* in love with Mal. That she always knew it was him. The realization could have happened later (making the dynamic much more shippable, too), but no. 

[askkrenko]

Krenko’s Guide to Pokemon: Mr. Line

“If a tree falls in the woods, and nobody is around to hear it, and it hits a mime, does anyone care?” ~ Gary Larson

DESIGN

Mime Jr.’s actually pretty cute, looking like a tiny little silly clown. The design is a bit generic but also very effective, making it a creature with just enough clown parts so that you know it’s a clown without so many clown parts to look terrifying. It also manages to look a lot like one of those clown-faced ice creams you can get at some places, where the cone is upside down as a hat. The point is, Mime Jr. is a small, cute pokemon that works perfectly fine.

Next is “Kantonian” Mr. Mime, and I put that in quotes because this Pokemon isn’t actually Kantonian. As with Farfetch’d, Mr. Mime is called Kantonian because that’s the first region we as players could get it, but the only ones available in Kanto outside of Let’s Go are either from trades or from the game counter, plus a very tiny amount that appear in the grass patch south of Pallet Town in Gold and Silver but not Red and Blue, implying that someone in Pallet Town has been breeding and releasing Mr. Mimes, and I’m not going to say who, but we all know these Mimes are a certain protagonist’s half-siblings, don’t we?

So where is Mr. Mime from? Well, we’ve established that the first Mr. Mime we met, Marcel, didn’t come from Kanto, and there’s no Mr. Mime in Johto, Hoenn, or Unova. Alola’s a weird one, as they don’t appear in Sun and Moon but they do appear in both Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. Still, they’re only in one location and Alola is known for having many imported Pokemon.  Sinnoh’s a possibility- while the Trophy Garden is clearly cultivated, Mr. Mime and Mime Jr. both appear in the wild in Diamond (but not Pearl). Still, I think the actual natural habitat of this Mr. Mime is the Reflection Cave in Kalos. Not only would a mime Pokemon make the most sense in the Kalos region, but it’d make far more sense for it to be living in a hall of mirrors than simply wandering grasslands as it does in Diamond. Further, this is in much closer proximity to the Galar Region, where Mime Jr.s and Galarian Mr. Mimes wander freely.  Thus, for the rest of this article I’m going to refer to this creature as Kalosian Mr. Mime.

And Kalosian Mr. Mime is terrifying. This thing is so Uncanny Valley that it goes down to becoming some sort of Uncanny Trench where light vanishes and there’s no hope for escape. It has all the most terrifying aspects of a clown, with a vaguely human form that isn’t quite right, hair that resembles horns, and an uncomfortably close relationship with your mother. Its bright coloration and curly feet are just sort of haunting, giving the illusion that it’s wearing clothes while in actuality that’s all just part of it’s horrible, horrible body.

In contrast, Galarian Mr. Mime is much friendlier looking. The pants help a lot, but so do the big gloves and the nose. It looks less like a monster and more like a cartoony man, and while it’s still weird to see a Pokemon that’s so humanlike, this version doesn’t feel inherently wrong and unsettling. Much better design here, unless the goal is to freak people out. That said, I just don’t buy this as an evolved form of Mime Jr. Galar really needed a Galarian Mime Jr. to finish the set, because as is Mime Jr. turning into Galarian form in Galar and Kalosian form anywhere else just feels off.  The other weird thing is that Galarian Mr. Mime, with its new focus on tapdance, doesn’t still feel like it should be called Mr. Mime. It’s something I complain about a lot with alternate forms, but if a creature’s called Mr. Mime it should be miming, not dancing, and if a creature’s called Sandshrew it should be sand based. 

Visually, I love Mr. Rime. He’s got all the charm of Galarian Mr. Mime but now has a silly hat and an ice cane. He also gets the red bubble on his stomach back from being a Mime Jr. which makes me question why Galarian Mr. Mime doesn’t have it. Mime Jr. links fine to Mr. Rime, but through features lost along the way, like its hat and its big red poofs. Mr. Rime is also clearly Charlie Chaplin, and I love the pun of its name in that it’s both Rime and Rhyme.

EVOLUTIONS:

Oh god this line is a mess.

First we get Mime Jr, which has first form starter stats, but evolves when knowing the move Mimic. With no TM or TR, Mime Jr. learns Mimic at 32, finally evolving into a Pokemon whose stat total is still a bit small for a final form. If it’s not in Galar, it stays a Psychic/Fairy type. If it is in Galar, it becomes a Psychic/Ice type, which then evolves again at 42 into something that’s not actually that big a boost over its previous for, making Galarian Mr. Mime a good user of the Eviolite.

And then Mime Jr. is an incense baby, so if you breed two Mr. Mimes (and you can because despite the name half are female) you get a Mr. Mime if you’re not using incense. This is a stupid mechanic that they need to get rid of. 

As with Farfetch’d, the fact that the original doesn’t get a new evolution while the regional form does bothers me, because it doesn’t do anything to bring the original back into playability, it just gives us a new different Pokemon that makes the original less relevant.

I will say Mime Jr. was a good addition. While some baby Pokemon are a waste of time, Mime Jr.’s actually a really solid early-game Pokemon, and Mr. Mime’s strong enough that it shouldn’t be appearing until mid to late game anyway. Adding Mime Jr. adds a lot of playability to this line in PVE.

Art by Zerochan923600

TYPING:

Kalosian Mr. Mime spent a lot of time as a Psychic type until we actually went to Kalos and found out it was a Psychic/Fairy type this whole time. Defensively, this is decent. It only has three weaknesses, and while it only has three ‘resistances,’ one of them’s a double and one of them’s an immunity. Offensively, it’s super-effective against four types and neither type works well against Steel… but that’s Steel, and most things don’t work well against Steel.

Galarian Mr. Mime and Mr. Rime are Ice/Psychic types, with their only competition in that type combination being Jynx and the legendary Ice Rider Calyrex. Defensively, this is a really bad combination, with six weaknesses and only two resistances- Ice and Psychic themselves. Offensively, this gives super-effective options against six types with only Steel as a shared resistance. 

Art by DarkraiLady

STATS

Kalosian Mr. Mime has a whopping 120 Special Defense, but a mere 40 HP, seriously inhibiting its ability to actually tank, and only 65 physical defense. It’s 100 Special Attack is respectable, but Speed 90 isn’t really enough to make a sweeper out of it,  even with Nasty Plot.

Galarian Mr. Mime balances its stats a bit, trading Special Attack and Special Defense for a bit more HP and Speed, but the only thing here that really works out in its favor is that it can equip an Eviolite, turning it into an actual defensive Pokemon, albeit one that still has poorer HP than most. 

Mr. Rime brings up most of its stats as evolutions do, but weirdly drops its speed from 100 to 70. It manages to be more defensive than average post-evolution, but its key stat becomes its 110 Special Attack. Overall, its stats are fine, able to dish out hits and take them, and its worst stats are only a bit below average.

Singin’ in the Snow by Pizapioart

ABILITIES

Kalosian Mr. Mime and Galarian Mr. Mime have entirely different abilities, with Mr. Rime having another.

Like Electrode, Kalosian Mr. Mime can get Soundproof, and there’s plenty of Sound based attacks out there, making this a decent defensive option. This improves in 2v2 where you can pair it with Boomburst.

Filter, a near-Signature ability of Mr. Mime, is another powerful defensive option, reducing the damage of supereffective moves from 2x to 1.5x. As you can reasonably expect most opponents to have Poison, Steel, or Ghost moves somewhere in their lineup, you really can’t go wrong with this.

Technician increases the power of any of Mr. Mime’s moves of 60 power or less by 50%, and in theory this is a good ability, but Mr. Mime just learns all the good moves anyway. There’s no reason to use a Technician’d Confusion when you can learn Psychic, or a Technician’d Magical Leaf when you can learn Energy Ball. Skipping this should be easy, because it’s Mr. Mime’s Hidden Ability.

Galarian Mr. Mime (but not Mr. Rime) gets Vital Spirit, which grants immunity to sleep. This is fine and usable and plenty of enemies will try and put you to sleep, but this isn’t the reason you’d be using this Pokemon.

Mr. Rime gets Tangled Feet, which is a garbage ability for garbage Pokemon. Nobody needs raised evasion when confused, what they need is to not be confused.

Ice Body, hidden ability of Galarian Mr. Mime and Mr. Rime, causes a Pokemon to heal in Hail. Of course, every Pokemon that can get this, other than the not-fully-evolved Seel, takes no damage in Hail anyway, and it really takes a fully defensive playstyle to worry about using your ability on sometimes healing 1/16th max HP a turn. There are ways to build Mr. Rime for this, but it’ll involve other Poekmon on your team setting up the Hail and wanting it, too.

Besides, Galarian Mr. Mime and Mr. Rime have the signature ability “Screen Cleaner” which negates Reflect, Light Screen, and Aurora Veil upon switching in. This ability is honestly the best reason to use these Pokemon, more than anything they’ll actually do once on the field. Any ability that has an effect on switch in tends to be good, because as long as it’s something you wanted done, you basically just got a free action. 

Art by  PeregrineJazmin, formerly Retkikosmos

MOVES:

Psychic and Psyshock are both great options for your primary attack form. Psychic is a bit bigger, but as you’ll have a special move of your other element to fall back on, Psyshock adds a bit more versatility.

Kalosian Mr. Mime’s only Fairy attack is Dazzling Gleam so you take Dazzling Gleam. Galarian Mr. Mime/Mr. Rime gets your choice of Ice Beam, Blizzard, or Freeze-Dry. Freeze Dry has the drawback of being weaker most of the time, but extra strong against Water Types, which are rather common. Blizzard is more likely to outright end something, but without Hail its accuracy is rather poor.

Coverage options are pretty wide for the mimes. Thunderbolt, Energy Ball, Shadow Ball, and Focus Blast are available to both, with that last one being super effective against the Steel types that resist Psychic, Fairy, and Ice. 

If you think you’ll get a moment to build up, Nasty Plot is always a great move, as is the more defensive Calm Mind.

Mr. Rime gets two particularly interesting options: it can Rapid Spin, which combines well with Screen Cleaner to reset the field, and it can learn Slack Off, the normal type equivalent of Recover. 

The Mime family’s move pools are actually rather deep, and there’s plenty more options in there, like Hypnosis, Reflect and Light Screen, Baton Pass, Iron Defense, Stored Power, and, via older gens, Healing Wish.

Art by albrt-wlson, which I have to assume is short for Albert Wilson, but might actually be Alberta Walesong.

OVERALL:

I love to hate Mr. Mime, though overall the whole family winds up in the range of ‘fine.’ Mr. Rime’s speed loss is its biggest hit, but other than that there’s a lot of good stuff it can do, especially with both Screen Cleaner and Rapid Spin.  Having below average speed on a Pokemon with so many weaknesses is a problem, but with such a strong variety of moves there’s a lot that can make up for it.

Kalosian Mr. Mime, unfortunately, really needs that stat boost that Mr. Rime got or the ability to use Eviolite like Galarian Mr. Mime, and it just doesn’t have either. 

The other thing that really bugs me about Kalosian Mr. Mime is its abilities or lack thereof. In flavor, Mr. Mime is THE Barrier Pokemon. Reflect and Light Screen are supposed to be what it does better than anyone else… but it just isn’t. Sure, Soundproof, Filter, and Technician are interesting, but I’d have loved to see Mr. Mime have something like Prankster or an ability that mimicked Light Clay, anything to say ‘this is the Pokemon that is best at Reflect.’ Honestly it’s a problem I see in the game a lot, a Pokemon having a specifically mentioned ability or a clear signature move that the Pokemon just has no reason to use. At least Mr. Rime clearly wants to use Teeter Dance with Tangled Feet, even if that strategy isn’t a strong one.

It just really bugs me when a Pokemon isn’t good at what it’s supposed to do, even if it’s good in other ways.

[featherlinneasart]

Forgot to upload.

English:So years ago I started and pretty much canceled/put it in a long hiatus, nuzlocke comics.I am not in the mood to work on PMD stuff, so I'll just switch around the nuzlocke saga with the pmd saga, depending on my mood.Anyway I hunted the starters a few years ago, I haven't really been actively doing the nuzlockes.I did decide on it being shiny nuzlockes now about uff 2 years ago now?Well anyway new rule set for the shiny nuzlocke.

1.Only 1 shiny per route, 

2 shinies max-> only via gift in one town each.    1.1 Regular pokemon can't be caught or used. (Exception for hm slave if the need arises)    

1.2 all possible shiny hunting methods within the game are allowed    1.3 Method and encounters must be written down/counted 2.If a Pokemon faints it dies.  

 2.1 Very specific exception: One freebie only during a shiny hunt, if it is before the first gym badge and not the shiny encounter itself. (Basically it doesn't count for one time. My nuzlocke my rules ey? And it is specific enough to not ruin it all.)    2.2 Box all dead pokemon    

2.3 if poisoned 1hp also equals death

3. All Pokemon must be nicknamed

4. The use of revivers and X-items is forbidden. Those will be sold upon attaining them.

5. You are not allowed to purchase healing items, all healing items are gifted or found.

6. Trade evolutions are allowed. Trading with NPCs is not. (Considering I'd never trade a shiny anyway)

(7. Dubes are allowed. Also if a second shiny appears on the same route it is boxed. Unlike 1 those are not gift hunts )

8. No one-shot kill moves, self harming moves(like recoil moves like take down) or suicide moves allowed. Metronome for example would not be allowed. (exception for struggle)

9. Team swipes are allowed. If the entired team is swiped out, all of them die. Run continues with shinies that have been waiting in box one. (Restarting shiny nuzlockes is apain, so team swipes don't equal game over here, unless I really only had my team and nothing in the box) -For platinum I might not allow status moves, but I am still debating it. So why is it all taking so long? Eh no motivation etc. working a bit on it more. Anyway, switching between pmd and nuzlockes is nice.Soul Silver Nuzlocke will take ages anyway. Togepi hunt without slugma(no regular pokemon can be used) and a bike is hideous. It takes about 5 min for each egg to hatch or more I don't know. And with these odds even with my luck it takes forever, I barely hunt it because it sucks to hunt it.Though I really want Togepi on the team. If I have to restart the nuzlocke because of a fail, certainly won't hunt it again.Platinum? Haven't hunted the starter really.Omega ruby? Getting the shiny female ralts was pretty awesome. Not my initial target, but ey I ain't complaining. I panicked a lot while training it, that thing is useful, it dying not so much. If any Nuzlocke gets done, it is the Omega Ruby one. The odds are the best and no stupid egg hunts. Not doing level caps with these, but normally I don't overlevel anyway.Nuzlocke concepts are being overworked and adjusted, but before writing anything, I have to have a succesfull playthrough anyway. Well hopefully I can finish a playthrough at some point haha. Though I'll probably just draw a couple of the shinies I obtain. Edit: Alright I don't have the patients to spent an entire year on a togepi hunt. I am skipping togepi and just trade it for a primo egg or similar, depending if I actually need anything. But yeah, no togepi for this run. I'll continue my playthrough and just focus on Random Encounters. Egg hunts, are not fun.

[demi-shoggoth]

COVID-19 Reading Log, pt. 7

36. Fox Tossing and other Forgotten and Dangerous Sports, Pastimes and Games by Edward Brooke-Hitching. After a run of long and/or downer books, I wanted something short and upbeat. So I reread something. This book is exactly what it says on the title—most of the games have been abandoned for being cruel to animals, hazardous to human health or just silly (or sometimes multiple at once, like archery golf). Sports and games tend to get little exposure in histories, and so it’s nice to see both that people have always done weird stuff to alleviate boredom, and that we’ve gotten less openly bloodthirsty and cruel in the modern era.

37. The Leprechaun’s Kingdom by Peter Haining.  This is a collection of folktales from Ireland, some of them literary and other less so. It also serves as a repository of art of faeries, ghosts and other supernatural things from various British Isles sources, mostly but not entirely Irish. I wish that some of the pieces had been replicated at larger sizes, but that’s just about my only complaint here. If I had found this book at, say, 11 or 12, I would have been completely obsessed with it.

38. Sleeping with the Lights On by Darryl Jones. I was initially disappointed in this book, which was much smaller than I was expecting—for $16, it’s a hardcover about the size of a trade paperback, but half the page count. Turns out, it doesn’t need to be long. This book is a concise overview of horror scholarship and analysis, covering a lot of the highlights with brevity and insight. The section on vampires, for example, manages to do better in 7 pages than Nick Groom’s entire book. This is a great introduction to critical perspectives on horror for someone who is just getting into the subject, and even as an old hand I found new things to think about and enjoy.

39. Edible: An Illustrated Guide to the World’s Food Plants, edited by the National Geographic Society. I have owned this book for years, using it as a reference. Sitting down with it turned out to be a disappointment. The first seventy or so pages are a history of agriculture and food plants, which trends strongly towards the March of Progress fallacy and is extremely biased towards Western Europe. The bits on the plants themselves are oddly organized (why start classifying fruit by botanical fruit types and then give up halfway? Why does soy only get a brief mention as an oil plant, and not for its other many, many uses?). Some of the authors need to be reigned in more—the author of the nuts chapter was purple in prose and pseudoscientific in their claims.

40. Catastrophes! by Donald Prothero. Prothero is an author I have a love-hate relationship with. His writing on mammal paleontology and evolution is typically pretty good, and he’s the co-author of two good books about paranormal claims (one on UFOs, one on cryptids) that I quite like. But about his Mesozoic writing… let’s let Captain Muramatsu explain it:

Thank you, Cap.

Anyway, this is his geology book about natural disasters. The author’s anti-religious bias shows in dramatic and occasionally baffling ways, like his constant remarks on the “irony” of deadly disasters on Christian holidays. In an aside during the discussion of Pompeii, it appears that he sides with Emperor Titus about the destruction of the second temple in Jerusalem! And in a chapter on mass extinctions, he claims that the asteroid impact was minimal if not uninvolved with the extinction of the dinosaurs, which he supports by savagely cherry picking his sources. The irony of him complaining about global warming deniers cherry picking their sources seems lost on him. At least there’s some good, and lengthy, quotations from primary sources to be found, and the diagrams and photographs are strong. But the authorial voice was decidedly unpleasant.

[lvminae]

SwSh Opinions

Actually fuck it I'll make an in depth post on swsh since I'm sick and it is 2:30 am and I can't sleep.

Keep in mind that these are my opinions and I’m not out here to argue with anyone, I just want to share what I think. And there is a lot. Since I wrote this in the middle of the night and edited the next day, I probably forgot some things, but it is long enough as is.

I don’t think I actually went into anything spoiler like.

Things I like

- Characters: I adore the variety in the characters and a lot of them are loveable. Some stick out as ones I don't particularly like, and some are silly, but that variety is good and it isn't so common that it becomes irritating.

And I have reasons to care about characters I initially disliked (like Bede; his development is JUST enough for me to not hate him). Some I still don't care about, and some characters deserve more development, but it isn't bad to the point where I am not happy with it (and I will address this more later).

- Pokemon (Variety): I'll talk about pokemon later on the neutral list, but I do really appreciate just how varied and even wild the pokemon are. Design wise, anyways - I don't know jack about competitive stats and don't care.

- Wild Area: The wild area has the silly mechanic of sudden weather changes depending on the areas, and the pokemon who pop up can be repetitive when you are dex filling. But other than that, I LOVE it. It is huge, and immersive, and I much prefer running around there than on routes.

And the pokemon popping up and approaching? Amazing. Can be annoying sometimes when pokemon you don't care about chase you (looking at Tyrouge and Electrike seriously Leave Me Alone), and hunting water types that hop around is frustrating (but makes sense), but it's still a wonderful addition.

- Exp. Share: I know a lot of people are pissed off it can't be turned off, but as someone who cannot get into old games because of not having it/how long it takes to get it, I appreciate it.

Some people think it makes it too easy, but now that you can box pokemon at p much anytime, you can (mostly) avoid the effect by boxing pokemon. I say mostly cause not all situations work with it, but I don't think it is common enough to say it is bad.

- Improvements of life: To add to my point above, I enjoy things that makes the games easier. I'm not a hardcore gamer. I want to have fun and actually be able to reasonably beat a game. Difficult games aren't bad, but these are for all ages. And it is easier to make things difficult than it is to make them easier if they were made difficult, yknow?

Things like showing the effectiveness of moves is one of those things- which I am glad they kept from SuMo- because I have memory problems. Lots of fans do, or are young, or just can't remember Every Single Type Matchup. I prefer having that than having to google type advantages constantly so I don't get a 1 hit ko on either my pokemon or a pokemon I want to catch.

It isn't quite as hand holdy as SuMo was (love ya rotomdex, but pls give me a break), but it is accessible to a range of players. That is how it feels to me, anyways.

- Side quests: Having little quests that give incentive to explore the region and just give a little spice of life to the region. And they aren't super confusing to do.

- General aesthetic: I love how the region looks. It hits so many aesthetic points for me. It is a pretty game with pretty locations, and the graphics are far better than anything I would have expected for pokemon.

Seriously, I've seen people comparing it to BotW and.... That is not the style Pokemon i or ever has been going for. It's an unfair comparison. Also BotW graphics are :/ in my opinion. Beautiful locations, but I don't like how people look. Pokemon? It looks nice, all fit together well. Feels like POKEMON. Not like other games that people compare it to.

There are some graphics that need fixing, like the berry trees and the whole mess they are when you shake them. But it isn't nearly as bad as people pre release were saying. And the battle locations are fine too. Seriously pre release thoughts were a mess.

- Performance: It runs well. I haven't had issues. Frame rate is fine, very rare drops, graphics work fine. I've only had a crash once, and that's because I was chaining max raids and the vibration was too intense for my machine. I took a break, turned vibration off, and everything was fine.

Note: I know that there have been some issues with glitches and stuff, and those are an issue. I haven't experienced any myself so I can't complain. And I'm not any sort of expert.

- Regional variants: I love regional variants in general. It is just So Good. And there are more than just gen 1 variants in these games! Thank god! Obviously many are still gen 1 but they aren't Exclusively gen 1.

I'll talk about that pandering later.

- Gyms: I love how the gyms works. I love the entry trials. I love the feel of the gyms and the competition, and the cheering and the music!!! It is just a great time!

- Character customization: Not quite as extensive as I was anticipating, but still super expansive and I love it.

Things I am neutral on

- Post game: It isn't that bad, but it isn't super interesting either. And I hate the sword based dude. His hair looks like a dick. Yes this is a genuine complaint. Both his and his brother's designs are... silly, and kinda uncreative, and I don't like it.

But they do pose a challenge, and it gives an interesting look at lore and the concept of people believing their assumed ancestry gives them certain rights and just how far these people will go.

- Pokemon: I think we have a good amount of new pokemon, but overall I am... eh on the designs of some. In my experience, regions have either a good amount of good looking pokemon, or a good amount of bad looking/boring pokemon. Obviously this is purely subjective, but this region has me drawn down the middle. I have pokemon I adore and are new favorites, but also quite a few where I just.... Don't like them at all. I've never been this split on them, so while I appreciate their variety like I noted above, I don't necessarily like all of them (especially the fossils. Their story makes sense, yes, but I can't fucking stand them.)

- Dynamax/Gigantamax: I get it's ties into the story, and I love that tie. And it is the gimmick of this region, which I absolutely am ok with. But in use... yeah, having a large pokemon is fun! But I don't really... Care about it? And I only use it in gym battles where I know the leader is gonna Gigantamax (even though generally I didn't need to), or max raids.

I like it more than Z moves, but it does make me miss Mega Evolution. At least it gives people something fun to design. And some of the gifantamax designs are great (and some are.... Basically dynamax. Pikachu and Eevee especially.) The raid make for good leveling though so I do like that.

- Story: I like pokemon for the stories. I actually don't like the style of the games gameplay wise. Pokemon I can handle and enjoy because it is simple compared to other games in the genre, at least enough so where I can be pretty clueless but still have fun and drive to play/grind somewhat. Bur ultimately for me, I enjoy pokemon for the story and characters.

Story... is lacking in this game. I love what we get! It is super interesting! But it is so much on the back burner compared to other games in order to focus on the gyms that it feels... I dunno. I miss a larger, more involved story. The focus on specific characters like Hop do still give me something to focus on, at least.

But the story could have been improved overall had it not been shoved to the side so much. A different, less involved story could have worked better, or something that involved the league and gym leaders more since the gyms were the focus.

Or find a way to involve the player more! It really comes down to the goal of the game, which was the improvements for competitive play. As a non competitive player, this isn't anything I care about or want. But some do, and with that being the focus, I understand the story being a bit lackluster compared to previous games.

Doesn't mean I have to like it, though :P

- Dexit: I don't... care about dexit. Having to play only with the pokemon from the gen isn't bad, and you can still use some. Yeah, a lot of pokemon I like are missing, but that gave me incentive to use pokemon from this gen. I think people making a huge fit over it also made me just Not Care. I'll miss my old pokemon, but maybe I cam actually complete the dex for this gen.

Things I dislike

- The trading system/y link: The fact you have to have nintendo online for this is awful. It is alienating to all those players who can't afford the subscription. All you should need is an internet connection just like the other games. It's a cash grab and I hate it.

The trading system is also irritating to use in general. I know the gts was not the best, but being able to search was nice. And one on one trading was so much easier. Using these codes is problematic because people you don't know can use the same code and you might not know! It fucks up trades! It sucks. It just sucks.

- Gen 1 pandering: Leon's key pokemon is a Charizard. Charizard got a gigantamax pokemon. Most gigantamax not from Galar are gen 1. Most regional variants are gen 1. I Do Not Fucking Care About Gen 1. Meowth has both an alolan AND galarian form AND gigantamax! It's annoying! Give the other regions some light. Please. I am so, so fucking tired of pandering to gen 1. The pandering makes me hate the gen, not want to go back to it.

- Version exclusive gym leaders: This one doesn't irritate me like the other things, I just think it is dumb. Especially since they didn't change the towns to make sense for the exclusive leaders.

- Cost: I am not made of money and I really do believe it should have been the normal $40. But it is a main series game with a lot and switch games seem to generally run at that $60 mark - main ones anyways - so I'm not surprised. Just disappointed.

[meetthetank]

Peccatum Chapter 9: Fireside Chat

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14454675/chapters/43675304 Rating: Mature Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Category: F/M Fandom: NieR: Automata (Video Game) Relationships: 2B/9S (NieR: Automata), A2/A4 (NieR: Automata). Jackass/The Commander (NieR: Automata) Characters: 2B (NieR: Automata), 9S (NieR: Automata), A2 (NieR: Automata), A4 (NieR: Automata), 6O (NieR: Automata), 21O, Jackass (NieR: Automata), The Commander (NieR: Automata) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe, genre typical violence, long fic, Slow Burn, War

“Damnit!” 9S shouts, kicking a charred plank.

Ash billows out over the darkening sky as the wood crumbles into dust. A light gust carried the cloud of soot over what remains of the humble grain village; a few free standing bits of scaffolding, defaced statues of the region’s senator, and blackened remnants of stone structures.

“This is the fourth one in a row…” 32S mumbles, burying his head in his hands.

“But…” 801S stammers, “I was here not...a month ago! I was here and it was fine! Everyone was fine!”

He sinks to the ground, a cloud of ash billowing out around him. 9S wraps his arms around his friend’s shoulders as 801S lists the people he met (or at least he thinks they’re people he met...it’s impossible to one charred corpse from the next) who ended up in a vile mass grave burning in the center of town. His voice chokes on the name of a farmhand he had been writing to for some time.

“Why...Why would they attack here?!” 801S yells, “There’s nothing here but wheat! No soldiers lived here! There’s no walls, no battlements...They were just farmers!”

For a moment, a heavy silence fills the air between them.

“...The demons are trying to starve us out,” 11S growls, putting words to what they had realized when they arrived, “It isn’t just bloodlust that makes them target these defenseless towns. These farms supply food all across the Republic. Cut off the supply…”

“...And the capitols weaken,” 9S finishes. “The armies weaken.”

The scouts remain quiet, either out of respect for the dead or from the icy fear that grabs hold of their hearts. Somewhere in the back of all of their minds they knew they were fighting an uphill battle, but this is the first time where they fully realize they’re on the losing side of this war. Grossly outnumbered, outmaneuvered at every turn, unable to keep up with the rapid evolution of their enemy. The only ones that stood a chance were the Devoted, but none of the Theocratic clergymen were allowed within the ranks of a Republic army.

“...One of us should double back to the Commander,” 32S says, breaking the silence.

A low sigh escapes 9S. “No one’s gonna be happy about this. We’ve been marching for nearly three days straight.”

9S volunteers to be the one to go back while the other scouts press onward. A strictly maintained five mile gap separates the main force from the scouts, but with only flat farmland and open fields to cross, it doesn’t take long for him to see Commander White atop her warhorse leading the troops. He falls in step next to her and Lieutenant Jackass’ horses easily.

“Well?” White asks, exhaustion creeping into her normally level tone.

9S sighs. “No good. That town’s been razed too. No survivors either.”

“Damn…” Jackass rubs her face with one hand. “We can’t push them for much longer, White.”

“We can’t stop,” the Commander snaps and pulls a small map from her saddlebag. “It’s far too dangerous to halt everyone out in these open fields.”

“It’s also too dangerous to make exhausted soldiers try to defend anything. Look at them White, any longer than another day or so and they’ll start dropping.”

She gestures to the irregular lines of soldiers and carts, most nursing varying degrees of injury that come with days of nonstop movement. A few hitch rides on carts wherever they can find space, or double up on the back of a horse just to get some kind of reprieve. Even 2B, who 9S can see peeking around the bulk of the army, sits on the healer’s supply cart with 6O.

“Here,” White says, snapping 9S out of his thoughts. “There’s a proper town half a day beyond the one we’re about to pass. Walls and a militia. If that’s been razed too, we stop anyway.”

“Understood.”

With time of the essence Jackass loans 9S her horse, a brown stallion named Hort, to ride further ahead. With the speed of the ornery beast, he catches up to the other scouts within the hour. Relaying the information brings some light and hope back to the scouts. 801S hops on the back of Hort, sitting close behind him as they ride.

To pass the time, the pair chat idly about whatever crosses their mind, careful to avoid heavier subjects or politics. 801S teases 9S about 2B, and in turn 9S teases 801S about the archer boy he’s been eyeing for a while. They reminisce about old times, simpler times, till they see the turrets of the town’s walls.

“Their wall’s still standing!” 801S shouts, bouncing excitedly much to the displeasure of Hort.

9S is about speak, but the sight of a wooden sign with a crude depiction of a half-demon stops the words in his throat. Though it is devoid of words, the message is clear enough to him. A warning. A threat.

801S’ expression sours when he notices the tension creeping through 9S. “...Stop the horse here. I’ll go ahead inside and let the town know the main force is on its way.”

“Thanks,” 9S says with a shudder in his voice.

Uncertainty worms its way through his gut as he rides back towards the advancing army. It wouldn’t be the first time that he’s come across a town with that kind of mindset, but it always brings risk. It isn’t exactly like he can blame them, either. With the only thing separating the town from the demon hordes roaming around is a few stones, paranoia is to be expected.

At least within the ranks of an army he’s relatively safe.

The sun reaches its highest peak by the time 9S reaches White again, who announces the good news. Soldiers erupt into cheers, energy surging back through their exhausted bodies. They don’t even complain when she announces that the march will move into double time to reach the town before nightfall, in fact it seems to bolster their spirits further.

9S returns Hort to his owner and hops onto the healer’s wagon with 6O and 2B.

“So, what are you ladies talking about? Girl things?” he asks with a smirk.

6O snorts, “We have much better things to talk about than fashion and marriage.”

2B tilts her head to the side in a way that 9S can’t help but consider adorable. “Is that what humans consider feminine?”

“Well, yeah,” 9S says with as much confusion as is on 2B’s face, “What do Coatyls consider feminine?”

“Stoicism, well maintained weapons, and…” 2B pauses to think for a moment. “...A healthy amount of bloodlust.”

“Oh. That...explains some things.”

6O laughs at his expense. 2B just holds that same bewildered expression she has whenever she’s confronted with the novelties of human culture as 9S and 6O trade playful punches with each other.

“Anyway, 2B,” 6O begins once she’s had her fill of punching and laughing at 9S, “as I was saying, my patron god isn’t necessarily evil. None of the old gods are, they’re simply...forces of nature.”

“Oh no,” 9S groans. “She’s doing this again.”

“Quiet, you.”

He sticks his tongue out at her, but lets 6O continue.

“I’m familiar with the pantheon, but why...that one?” 2B asks.

“They’re representative of nature, decay, the cyclical aspects of life; that kind of thing. They’re a bit overlooked compared to some of the other, more powerful gods.”

“Wait, which one is this again?” 9S interrupts.

“Their name isn’t exactly pronounceable by the untrained tongue, and invoking it without warrant can have...nasty consequences. Roughly translated, the name is Infinite Equine, or Long Horse.”

“Ugh, right. That nasty horse skull thing. It’s so creepy!”

“I have to agree with 9S,” 2B says. “It is a bit...off-putting.”

“What did you think the manifestation of life, death, and rebirth was going to look like?!” 6O snaps. “A cute little rabbit?!”

“You’re a cute little rabbit!” 9S shouts, and bursts into laughter a second later.

“That...doesn’t seem like an insult,” 2B says through barely contained laughter.

True to the Commander’s word, the army arrives at the town’s gates as just as the moon begins to rise. 801S and the rest of the scouts, along with a few local guards, greet them as they pass through the walls. The townsfolk who are still wrapping up their daily routines stop and stare at the army nearly four times the size of their haphazard militia marching down their main street.

He knows it’s a fools game, but 9S can’t help but let his mind wander. This town is decently fortified, relatively clean, not destitute but not aristocratic...It’d be the perfect place to settle down once the war is over. To finally stop being a soldier, being a part of an army and live a simple life. Maybe even get married and start a family. His gaze wanders to 2B, who looks around the town and its well maintained brick buildings with wonder.

Well..so long as he’s fantasizing.

He must look like a blushing maid, but at the moment he doesn’t really care. It’s good for the mind to indulge in the ideal future every now and then. Images play across his mind in quick succession, each one more unobtainable than the last. It doesn’t stop his heart from fluttering at the thought.

What a silly daydream this is. Why would a warrior such as 2B have any desire to be a housewife, to raise children, or to settle down entirely? She probably intends to live and die on the battlefield, swathed in blood and glory. He doesn’t pay it too much mind, it is a simple daydream after all. No need to get too hung up on reality.

Until reality hits him square in the chest.

As the army passes through the center of town, 9S comes face to face with the grim truth of his life. In the middle of the open plaza, a crude wooden gallows looms over them, and from this morbid structure hangs a recent victim.

The body, whose face is obscured by a roughspun sack, appears fresh. The skin is only a pale shade of purple and rot has yet to set in. His hands are bound behind his back with thick rope that cuts into the skin, staining them black with dried blood. He’s stripped of clothing, revealing thick brown fur that covers him from the waist down, barely concealing the wound where his genitals would have been as well as the hooves in place of human feet. A length of parchment hangs from his chest, held in place by rusting iron hooks.

“Here hangs…..for the crime of Demonic Parentage.”

The name appears to have been vandalized, instead of identifying the victim, it instead reads slurs and obscenities 9S would rather not read in their entirety.

A number of soldiers, including 21O and Jackass, fidget and shy away as they pass the body. Tension worms its way through everyone, even the horses grumble with agitation.

He pulls his hood around his face and sinks into anonymity within the ranks of the army.

What a fool he is to dream.

The army pitches a slap-dash camp on the northern side of the town, a rough series of tents and bedrolls. It isn’t much, but it gives the soldiers a chance to sit down and rest within the safety of the walls. They eat and drink and sing bawdy songs around a small fire, and despite the dire state of the war levity and joy returns to the army. If only for a moment.

It all proves to be too much for 2B, who excuses herself to river a few miles away when the songs take a much louder and raunchier turn. She underestimated just how social humans were, the constant chatting and the way they move around in groups of three or more, groups of people who weren’t even related. The open air and quiet solitude is something she needed before she starts snapping at people.

This region’s fish are small, too small for her liking. She should have expected it: the water barely came up to her scaled ankles. They’re more like snacks than a proper meal, each one barely larger than her beak. 6O warned her about passersby that might see a giant white dragon and attack, but the only thing that catches her eye is a deer that gets a bit too close for her liking. She eats her fill of fresh fish, something she’s found herself longing for since falling in with White’s army, then flies back to the town.

2B perches on the top of the wall, taking a moment to preen her wings of dirt and grime. To her surprise the camp is silent, save for the snores of soldiers and the crackling of one remaining campfire. The way they were carrying on, she thought they were going to be at it all night. Their leader must have told them the march would resume early. To 2B, someone who possesses the gift of flight, the whole idea of an ordered march seems unnecessary. She chastises herself for thinking this way, these humans and their awful work beasts called horses don’t have the same abilities she does, so they must work around their faults.

The approaching footsteps of a local guard break her from her musings. Not wanting to attract unwanted attention herself, she hops from the top of the wall in the middle of a transformation. A swordswoman out for a quiet walk is more explainable than a feathered beast in a human’s eyes.

As 2B wanders past the last dying campfire, she notices a familiar face sitting alone. Curled into himself, sitting on the ground, is 9S. His face is buried in his arms, but the shock of white hair is unmistakable, even in the low light. A sharp pang shoots through 2B’s chest at the pathetic sight and finds herself walking over to him.

9S looks up at the sound of encroaching footsteps with fear in his eyes, though his features quickly soften once he realizes it’s only 2B. He gives her a half hearted wave before wrapping his arms around himself.

“You seem troubled,” 2B says, sitting on the ground next to him.

“Huh?” He rubs his face. “No, no I’m fine. I’m…”

“A poor liar.”

9S lets out a quiet chuckle. “Yeah. I guess so.”

2B gives him a moment to collect himself. He sits up straighter, kicking his legs out and letting himself stretch and get a few breaths of cool night air.

“I guess it’s...I’m…” He sighs. “You never really get used to seeing a body that…that could have been you.”

“Ah...I see,” 2B mutters.

How could she be so dense? Of course seeing something like that would affect him. She should try to comfort him.

She has no idea how to comfort humans.

“I’m sorry,” 9S says. “It’s...it’s silly to be scared. White’s army is one of the only safe places for people like me...For half-demons. We can live and work and fight without having to fear our friends turning on us. But…”

He swallows a lump forming in his throat and wipes his eyes. “But the moment I step outside the army, the moment I try and form a life outside combat and war...I could end up on the end of a rope. Or worse.”

“You look human, though. Your charm necklace conceals anything suspect.”

“Yeah, but it isn’t foolproof.” He turns the little charm in his fingers a few times. “It’s weak magic, something a child could pull off. Easily detected or disarmed, but discrete and easy to make. Mom-...21O made this for me, it’s like the one she’s got.”

9S taps the jewel twice. With a faint shimmer, small nub-like growths appear just below his hairline, parting his hair slightly. His thin tail curls around his leg, and his eyes fade to nearly pure white.

It’s odd, 2B has only seen this form only once before, but the shock is gone. It’s about as strange to her as seeing him with a different haircut. So instead of recoiling in fear, all she does is tilt her head a little.

He taps the jewel again and the demonic features disappear. “It’s so stupid...everyone’s so scared of a few weird additions. But...We’re capable of...gods know what.”

9S hangs his head in shame and curls back into himself. He rests his forehead on his knees. “Are you scared, too?”

She twists the end of her robe between her clawed fingers. “I...I’ve never met a half-demon before you, I must admit.”

“Really?”

2B shakes her head and stares into the embers. “I’ve only ever had...encounters...with proper demons.” Her hands curl into fists. “They attacked our village one day, without warning. Even our strongest warriors had trouble fighting them off. They killed…I don’t know how many of us. The village was devastated in just an hour.”

“Oh…”

An aching cold creeps its way through 9S’ chest, one that won’t leave no matter now tightly he pulls his cloak.

“I’ve never met a half-demon before,” 2B says again. “...But if they’re anything like you…”

Her fist unlocks itself, and with uncharacteristic trepidation, she places her hand on his shoulder. 9S doesn’t anticipate just how warm it was, its gentle weight more comforting than his old coat.

“Well...I think you’re a good person.”

9S smiles, just a little, and leans into her, his head resting on her shoulder.

“...Thanks, 2B.”

[hellzyeahthewebwieldingavenger]

Infinity Thoughts

 So I have something of a tradition of reading comics that will in some way tie into upcoming Marvel live action films. To this end with Avengers: Endgame approaching I read through, among other things, the TPBs ‘Avengers vs. Thanos’. ‘Rebirth of Thanos’, ‘Infinity Gauntlet’ and ‘Infinity’ volumes 1-2.

For the most part I rather enjoyed them. My respect for Jim Stalin grew and I’d argue Infinity Gauntlet may well be Marvel’s finest ever crossover event story of all time...Then I got to Infinity.

Hooooooooo-boy.

This was a lame story.

To be crystal clear the trades I read through collected the main issues of the event plus the tie-in issues of Avengers and New Avengers. Since all were written by Jonathan Hickman the tie-ins are actually essential to the reading experience and I was never exactly lost reading the story. There was a brief but well done reference to the Guardians of the Galaxy tie in issues that weren’t collected but that was it.

You know how I said my respect for Stalin grew through reading this stuff? Ell my respect for Hickman sunk...even lower than it already was.

First off reading Infinity seems to have been a waste of time for my personal purposes. Whilst I do not know what Endgame has in store Infinity War took precious little from this story. It just borrowed 4/5 of Thanos’ inner circle of henchmen (Corvus Glaive, Prixima Midnight, Ebony Maw) and also the Outriders, those four limbed footsoldiers Thanos uses to invade Wakanda. Speakin of which the mere idea of Thanos invading Wakanda was also borrowed from this story but it plays out drastically differently.

That’s not really a problem with the story just a personal complaint I had.

On the flipside something I can’t really complain about but will point to as a problem is that to follow the main story of Infinity you HAD to pick up the tie-ins I mentioned. A well written event shouldn’t price gouge you like that. Noticeably Infinity Gauntlet didn’t. Reading all 6 issues was a satisfying experience unto itself, I never felt like I was missing anything.

But saying Stalin is a better cosmic writer than Hickman would be redundant.

Another problem I discovered after the fact with this story was how the first 15 pages of Infinity #1 are literally just reprints of New Avengers #6 and the Free Comic book day Infinity issue. So 15/54 pages were stuff you’d either read before or could read for free.

This isn’t even getting into the writing problems in general. First of all Hickman had this insufferable habit of within issues themselves having like chapter breaks in the for of entirely blank pages with a grey title and symbol at the top. So you know...nice that you are paying for nearly blank pages amidst your £4+ comic books.

Second of all Hickman has this habit of like throwing meaningless lore at you.

In Infinity #1 for example he throws at you the brief backstory of this planet you have never seen before nor will see again as though it means something, complete with flashbacks and exposition about this planet’s great champion who’s already dead courtesy of the guy delivering the narration. And when I say it’s meaningless lore I mean Hickman has the guy say “Whatever happened to your proud champion to won the Water Wars and untied the tribes by defeating the Great Beast of Pol?”

Like...who gives a shit no one knows where or what Pol is or what the Water Wars were. The best part is that this is all adding up to this planet giving Thanos’ henchmen a tribute of several dead people.

Basically it stretched out 11 pages with meaningless lore to communicate Thanos is bad, Thanos has bad henchmen, Thanos’ demands defeated planets pay him tribute in dead people. Seems like you could accomplish that in maybe 4 pages at a push, especially for a villain everyone knows about already.

What makes this all the more confusing is that Thanos isn’t even really the central plot or threat in the story. This is in spite of being on the covers, mentioned in the solicits, the story’s name referencing stories that explicitly involve him and the story frankly existing because of his post-credits scene in Avengers 2012.

The story’s central conceit I guess is that it’s a war on two fronts.

Captain America leads most of the Avengers into space to join the Kree, Shi’ar, Skrulls, Annihilus and other alien races in a war against the army of the Builders. Meanwhile the remaining heroes (including Iron Man and the Illuminati) have to contend with Thanos who has invaded Earth looking for the sole remaining Infinity Gem and the last of his children, the half-Inhuman Thane.*

Essentially in spite of the advertisement Thanos is really just one of two antagonists in this story. And frankly clearly the one Hickman is less interested in compared to the Builders, whom shockingly, just so happen to be his own creations.

What follows is essentially a cosmic war story all about military strategy and game theory and so on, with very smart people doing very smart things.

Now in fairness conceptually this isn’t a bad idea whatsoever.

So what if Thanos is just one of two antagonistic forces. So what if it’s a war story. Those are ideas that can be done great right?

Yep...except...they aren’t.

Let’s talk about Thanos first.

His central motivation to kill his half Inhuman son is contrived and whilst it COULD have worked it just doesn’t.

As the lead in issues to Infinity Gauntlet make clear with Nebula, who claimed to be Thanos’ granddaughter, Thanos finds the idea of reproducing an affront to his nihilistic beliefs.

Thnos of course is in love with Death. As in he sees Death as a woman he’d like to make out with. To this end he committed his life to mass slaughter to win her love.

Thus entirely logically his creator Jim Stalin established that Thanos would not seek to have any offspring because, duh, if your goal is to kill as many people as possible you aren’t going to create MORE life.

So on the most basic of levels, Thanos even having any children seems out of character.

But it could have worked because the story does establish Thanos has killed his other children too. So it is entirely possible to argue that Thanos, whilst no celibate, made a point of killing his off spring to balance the scales, possibly even seeing his kids as mistakes of his youth before he’d entirely committed himself to Death.

Except the story doesn’t say anything like that. Thanos simply states the idea of Thane existing keeps him awake at night. In other words one of the 2 central antagonists has at best vague motivations.

To make matters worse Thanos is defeated via a total dues ex machina. Basically Thane undergoes a mutation as a result of Black Bolt unleashing a Terrigen mist throughout Earth, this causes him to inadvertently and instantly murder everyone within a certain radius by waving his left hand. He can only control this with the help of a containment suit one of Thanos’ inner circle, Ebony Maw provides. Maw acts as a kind of evil mentor/advisor to Thane, think Wormtongue from the Two Towers but more powerful and sinister, but we’ll get to him in a minute.

Anyway Thane is captured by Maw and presented to Thanos and whilst Thanos and his last surviving inner circle (they’re called the Black Order btw) Proxima Midnight are beating the shit out of the Avengers. Maw then says some shit about wanting to see if Thane has evolved and how he’s the only one who can beat Thanos. So Thane waves his right  hand and encases Thanos and Proxima in a great big amber cube.

Oh and this comes out of exactly nowhere!

That’s the resolution to the final issue by the way. THAT is how this 2 volume event friggin ends. Pathetic.

More pathetic even than the already pretty pathetic motives and characterization given over to Ebony Maw and the entirety of the Black Order.

Look, the idea of Thanos having an elite entourage as opposed to just hordes of gneric nameless thralls** is a good one.

The idea of them worshipping him and/or Death is fine.

But beyond their looks we get little characterization from any of them. Glaive and Midnight are offhandily established as married. Black Dwarf is just a big dumb warrior thug. We get a mini-monologue about Supergiant’s childhood and why she follows Thanos in the pages just prior to hear death towards the end of the story. And Ebony Maw...nothing. We have no reason for why he acts against his master or what the fuck his agenda is.

What little we know of the Black Order comes from I kid you not a mini Marvel Handbook segment randomly inserted into the story that gives you like a short paragraph on each member and their abilities.

So you know...literally telling us instead of showing us who these people are and to boot it’s not even actually part of the story.

Then the story has the audacity to say that Thane, Hickman’s new underdeveloped character has and will become even worse than his Dad. His Dad who I will remind you literally caused universal genocide when he snapped his fingers and killed half the universe’s population...and THEN murdered all the cosmic beings. Oh but Thane is worse because he...can trap people in amber...?????

There is also precious little characterization or development lent to Thanos in the entire story, whereas the events its trading off of (Infinity Gauntlet, etc) absolutely did. Here Thanos is the big bad villain and little else. He isn’t even the biggest threat nor does he comprise the majority of the panel time.

That distinction goes to the Builders.

Oh lord...the builders. Who also count among their ranks the Gardners known as the Ex Nihili, the Alephs robot soldiers and exist in the superflow of the multiverse having created the Starbrand and other cosmic tools to shape the evolution of species across the universe.

Did any of that sound bland, boring, meaningless and simply pretentious mastabatory science fiction talk?

Well that’s only because it is.

Marvel has a robust cosmic lore to them. The first generation of that was really installed by Lee and Steve Ditko in Doctor Strange and to a much greater extent Lee and Jack Kirby in Thor, Fantastic Four, Avengers and other titles. That’s where we of course get guys like Galactus.

The second generation I’d argue was Jim Stalin who set up Thanos, Drax the Destroyer Adam Warlock, the Infinity Gems and also Chris Claremont along with his collaborators who birthed the Phoenix Force and the Shi’ar and so on.

The third generation was Dan Abnett, Andy Lanning and Keith Giffen. These guys added a few things to Marvel Cosmic but really their forte was more adopting stuff already in the Marvel universe and expanding it or using it in interesting ways. The best examples of this being their Magnum Opus, Annihilation which made Annihilus a Big Bad for the Marvel Universe, and ESTABLISHING the Guardians of the Galaxy that the movies took inspiration from. Whilst they didn’t necessarily create any of the Guardians they were the guys who essentially made them the space Avengers.

Hickman is essentially the headliner for the fourth generation and by far and away the most creative.

And by creative I mean he is very good at dreaming up ideas. He’s a classic ‘Big Concepts’ science fiction writer.

Where he falls down is in executing said concepts.

Whilst the past generation of Marvel Cosmic creators vacillated between going for something sweepingly epic or else fun and bombastic or something in between, Hickman’s work is devoid of the fun bombast of a Silver dude riding a surfboard in space but is also if anything trying way too hard to be ‘Epic Cosmic’ than anything the older creators did. And they at least were doing it at a different time when standards for comics were different.

Let’s take the Galactus Trilogy and Infinity Gauntlet as an example. In the 1960s presenting us a science fiction comic book antagonist who was an allegory for God was really impressive and him engaging in a debate with the Watcher about the nature of humanity was deep stuff.***

Similarly the Infinity Gauntlet was concerned with the burden of Godhood and acted as something of a bizarre love story between Thanos and death, the ultimate character study of the Mad Titan.

Hickman in Infinity though mostly just throws Big Science Fiction Concepts (tm) at you and expects you to be impressed by their mere existence, as though ‘the Avengers fight a big space war’ is something to be impressed by in 2013 when we’ve had how many stories like that?

Worse his Big Concepts aren’t just expected to be impressive via their mere existence but are also just...rather dull. There is little personality to the boringly named Builders and only slightly more in the pretentiously named Ex Nihili (Hickman loves throwing around very impressive big nonsense words for his science fiction crap, God forbid they be something simple and/or silly but memorable like ‘Galactus’, ‘the Infinity Gauntlet’, ‘Annihilus’, etc). The Gardners/Ex Nihili kind of look interesting but the Builders themselves are just the most boringly designed aliens ever.

When you see the Watchers or the Celestials you BUY that they are the oldest race in the universe, you buy they are cosmic beings on a higher plane than mere mortals. The Builders are just grey vaguely buggish dudes. Their footsoldiers the Alephs are worse. They’re generic Terminator rip off robots.

The art throughout the story looks pretty but it’s design sense is lame at best and it has the eternal problem of so many 2000s/early 2010s comics that the art looks beautiful panel to panel but is also stiff and looks like a series of very pretty portraits that lack life or the illusion of movement. Comic book art shouldn’t be  a series if paintings next to one another conveying the highlights of a scene but an organic flow from one panel to the next creating the illusion of movement. Want to see this done well in a big event story? Check out Mike Zeck on Secret Wars or Perez/Lim on Infinity Gauntlet. Or hell anything Ron Frenz draws.

Okay, they look boring, they sound boring, their concepts aren’t used that effectively BUT...surely the Builders storyline has merit? Surely this cosmic war story is at least a good war story.

Well...yes and no.

The military strategy used in the story is pretty realistic and well thought out, speaking as someone who isn’t familiar with military strategy history or stories rooted in that stuff.

If nothing else the core concept of Thanos attacking Earth whilst the Avengers are off fighting on another front and the X-Men are divided (because of Schism) is basic and interesting use of strategy.

And the space warfare for the most part seemed reminiscent of Star Trek, speaking as someone who’s got novice knowledge at best of that franchise.

Here is the problem though...it’s also painfully dull for anyone who isn’t hyper into that stuff.

Which would be fine...if the story was solely contained within the main Infinity book.

I’ve long defended Secret Wars 1984 on the grounds that as it’s own mini-series it wasn’t obliged to follow thematic conventions or writing conventions of the solo or team titles, it could be it’s own sandbox. So if it wanted to be a light war story/series of fun action set pieces, fine.

So if Infinity wanted to be an Avengers space military strategy comic book for 6 issues okay fine. Except it wasn’t, it roped in Avengers and New Avengers into it too.

And at that point the tie-ins at the very least needed to have something more. You know like...personality.

The single biggest problem with pretty much any Hickman story I’ve read is that far too often the characters talk stiffly and unrealistically, with a coldness to them, a functionality. There is precious little personality or emotion to them. Even when the art is showing us emotion you simply see it as opposed to actually connecting with it.

There are only the briefest of smatterings of truly emotional or personable moments in the entire story and as a consequence they kind of stick out like a sore thumb. Smasher and Cannonball hooking up (out of nowhere in the story like there was no inclination they had the hots for one another earlier) and Sunspot quipping about it is the most human moment in the entire story closely followed by Manifold expressing exhaustion over constantly fighting.

The closest thing to a charismatic character in the entire story is friggin Maximus the Mad!

How do you do that in a story with Captain America, Captain Marvel, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Hawkeye, Black Panther, Reed Richards, Namor and friggin Thanos!!!!

All this and the story exists for anything but a genuine creative drive. It exists because

a)      Marvel needed to make bank off of Thanos’ cameo in Avengers 2012

b)      Marvel needed to remind people Thanos exists after his cameo

c)       Marvel needed to workshop some possible concepts for the then inevitable Thanos movie on the horizon

d)      Marvel needed to amp up the Inhumans via their stupid cloud unleashed in this story so they could begin their dastardly master plan to supplant the X-Men with them

 Ugh. I recommend you simply skip this story wholesale.

*The other 5 Infinity Gems were destroyed

 **By the way in Stalin’s stories Thanos’ armies comprised of a diverse group of alien baddies. Here...there are different kinds of aliens but they seem to be a few species who all look the same. Hardly what Stalin and other artists rendered, which gave you an idea of the scope of Thanos’ travels.

If we’re going to be paying more money for comics nowdays could they maybe put in at minimum the same effort as cheaper comics from 40 years ago!

 ***The Watchers and Celestials by the way, Jack Kirby creations, get supplanted by Hickman as the oldest and most powerful race in the universe for the sake of his boringly named ‘Builders’

[unfurledwings]

As promised, here is my half of the playlist/fic trade with @reallyintouglyfos ! This is probably a lot longer than you expected, but I hope you enjoy it anyway! I certainly had fun writing on it. ^^

Title: Radiation

Fandom’s Involved: Overwatch

Rating: Probably a slight T, given what Moira and Kolka do to their poor test subject, but only a slight T.

Pairing(s): Kolka/Moira

Summary: In which Kolka learns about radiation and gets a small bit of affection from Moira, which is never something to take lightly.

                Sometimes, if people were caught snooping around too much by Talon and they weren’t really important to their plans and the rest of society, they’d kill them and dump the body somewhere no one would ever find or make it look like an accident. However, if those caught were particularly unlucky, they’d be handed off to Moira and Kolka for experiments. Which was what had got them here-opening a box containing an unconscious Australian man who’d seen far more than he should’ve. For once, Moira was delighted, though Kolka didn’t see anything worth laughing or grinning about.

               “Finally, a good research subject! He may prove to be the first step in proving one of my hypotheses.”

               “I don’t see why he’s so important.” Kolka grumbled, scratching her arm for a moment. “He’s a test subject, just like all the rest of them. There’s nothing special about him.” Which was what Kolka honestly thought with about three handfuls of jealousy mixed in. If she’d felt comfortable enough to use percentages to know how jealous she was, she might have, but she neither completely understood them nor trusted them enough to let them into the workings of her daily life.

               “Sometimes, what you can’t see is far more important than what you can. Australia is a hotbed of radioactivity. The place is positively swimming in it, and this man is possibly one of many who’ve been affected. I want you,” Moira said, putting her hand on Kolka’s shoulder, a rare moment of physical contact, “to tie him down, fill two tubes of blood for me, and use whatever little poison you have to keep him quiet. I can’t think when they start screaming and yelling at us. Nothing long-lasting, though. We need him to be as fresh as possible before we start working on him.”

               “Alright.” Kolka replied, unsure of whether or not it’d be appropriate for her to smile because of the hand still on her shoulder, even though she still didn’t like this guy that Moira was so excited about. It probably wouldn’t be, since she chose to serve her, not the other way around. Things sometimes fell apart if you told a spirit of some kind that you’d help them with something in return for something else and got too chummy with them. In their minds, serving meant you weren’t allowed to be on the same plane as them, and too much joy because of one of their kindnesses sickened them, like you were a dog who wouldn’t stop barking because they were happy.

                She’d learned that when she was younger, and she got the same sort of vibe from Moira. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t ask questions. Moira might have hated it if Kolka acted like they were on the same level, like they were friends or equal partners, but she had no patience for people who didn’t try to keep up, whether they were Kolka or anyone else. “What is radioactivity, though?” She asked, savoring the warmth of Moira’s hand on her shoulder, even as she kept her emotions to herself. Probably another form of magick that Moira wanted to pretend was her ridiculous ‘science’.

                 “Radioactivity,” Moira replied, almost purring like a Norwegian Forest Cat, is the plural form of radiation. Because we have quite a lot of work to get done, I’ll try to make things as simple for you as I can.” While she didn’t interrupt, Kolka wasn’t sure whether she should feel honored because Moira was trying to be considerate towards her or patronized. “Basically, radiation is the emission or transmission of energy in the form of waves or particles through space or through a physical medium. There are two types, ionizing and non-ionizing. Right now, we’re only interested in the potential of ionizing radiation, which is radiation with enough energy to strip electrons from atoms and leave them with a positive charge.

                  This whole process has the added side benefit of damaging the DNA in the affected cells, especially if you were born to a person that was stuffed with radiation or lived in a radioactive environment your entire life. I hypothesize that it’s easier to edit the genes of people who are heavily affected by radiation. If I’m right, perhaps humanity will finally understand that a little bit of radiation in their system is the price they’ll have to pay if they wish to take the next step in our evolution and develop bodies that are resistant to high pressure changes or ones that can change color based on a variety of factors. There’s endless potential for mankind, if I’m right, and if we’re all bold enough to accept the conclusions and implications of our studies.” As she spoke, her eyes practically glimmering with passion and excitement at the potential she would unfold upon the world with Kolka, Moira’s grip on Kolka’s shoulder tightened, like she subconsciously thought that Kolka was the whole world (or, at the very least, the parts of it she herself didn’t completely understand yet), and wanted to grab it at tightly as possible.

                   It hurt, especially since Moira’s long, sharpened nails dug into her skin, but even though she would have liked to complain about it, there was also a part of her that was..enthralled by Moira’s burning ambition and vision, and if that meant that her joy for the both of them bubbled up in painful ways, she was..fine with that. At least, to the point where the parts of her that wanted to complain were a minority. Normally, she might have been more tempted to point out that she could already alter people’s bodies with her magick, radiation or not, but it was rare for Moira to be this happy, even if it was because of the jerk in the box. They’d both be the ones to reap the rewards, not him. Together. So, she just looked up at Moira with a bright smile on her face.

                   “I think I understand, Moira! Is that why you want me to take some of his blood, so that we can test it for radiation?”

                   “Precisely.” Moira hummed, letting go of Kolka’s shoulder with one last squeeze. “And why I want you to use short-acting poisons. I’ll be prepping in the other room. Bring the vials to me when you’re done, alright?”

                    “I will!” Kolka called back as Moira quickly made her way to their main testing room that was packed full of equipment. Normally, Moira would just state her requests like the orders they were instead of putting a happy spin on it, and Kolka couldn’t help but take that little kernel of affection and completely warm it within her heart as she pulled the man out of the box and dragged him onto a nearby operating table before strapping him in.

                               *                      *                      *

                    “Are you sure this isn’t magick?” Kolka asked, unsure of whether or not Moira was telling the truth, as yet another pair of tiny wings emerged from the man’s legs. He was practically covered in them, and there was no need for Kolka to muffle his screams with her poison anymore-what had once been his tongue had transformed into a single, soft, blue feather, though tears of agony still poured down his cheeks.

                     “Of course it isn’t.” Moira happily replied, logging all her observations into her notebook. “If there’s any miracle here, it’s the miracle of science, which we both used to do this. Isn’t it wonderful?”

                     “Absolutely.” Kolka whispered, her thoughts torn between rapt horror and glorious wonder. Only one thing was certain-if Moira could do this, whether she wanted to accept that it was magic or not, she was certainly at the point where she could take on a couple of lesser Gods and win. She, Kolka, was serving a God who was happy and proud of her service, and she couldn’t help but shiver with that knowledge in her belly.

[onisionquotes]

YOUR PROBLEMS DON’T MATTER? (Be Happy, End Your Anxiety)

(Spoken word rap) pain pain like the pain of my face when I don't turn the light on all the shadows in my face revealing I don't got my beauty on the cash flows from me, even though it's all fake I'm trying to rap but the pressure of rhyming I can't take crash a can, small town love Sorry, I got a little distracted by myself. Anyway today I want to talk about suffering. Pain. Agony. You see some people have it in their head that a child who drops their ice cream cone suffers the same as someone who just lost their husband to cancer. People actually believe this. And I personally disagree with this idea. Lets first go into the argument that a person that cries over a speeding ticket, their suffering should be given just as much attention or appreciation as somebody who just saw their dog get hit by a bulldozer. Don't over analyze it, I'm just saying. So here's the thing. If you approach somebody who is somewhat emotionally stable and can respond to reason. They're very upset about something and you ask them. Lets say someone that just lost one of their cats to say cancer. You approach that person and you say 'hey, what other pets do you have?' They'll say they have their dog Mikey and their pet gerbil Herbert. Then you say to that person, "Well aren't you glad that Mikey and Herbert are perfectly healthy? Wouldn't it be so much worse if you lost both of those pets too?" And right now you sound like a mobster. You're threatening them. You need protection money or something. Let's continue in this little talk for the sake of having it. That person might start to think. "Oh man, Yeah I'm kinda grateful that my other pets are fine" and so they start to appreciate what they do have. And maybe suffer a little less with this realization. Or how about say someone who cuts themselves. You know, because someone at school was bullying them. So they went home and thought that slicing their wrist open would somehow make their life better. Which we all most know that doesn't really make your life better at all. You can reason with a lot of people. I got myself, I've talked hundreds if not thousands of people out of cutting themselves. And I'm not the one claiming this. It's on forums. It's on Twitter. It's in my inbox. People thanking me for my approach to their problem. The thing is, sometimes I get flagged for not respecting the suffering of people who say just got a B on their homework when they really wanted an A. Even if they cry just as hard as someone who just lost their husband. Someone who just lost their parents. I'm not gonna say the person that just got a B on their homework assignment deserves the same amount of respect and appreciation as someone who just lost their spouse or other dear loved one. But this is basically what some people actually want you to do. They want you to act like everyone's problems are equal and that's just not the world we live in. And you know how I know that these problems are not equal? Do you know how I can shut down almost anyone arguing against my point. Ask them the following question. To the person who got a B on their homework instead of an A. "Would you rather be blind? Would you?" If your problems are so real and deserve the same amount of respect then surely you would be fine trading places with a person who was just diagnosed with a terminal illness. Surely, of course. It's equal. Right? That's your argument, but see that's not realistic at all. Because I and I'm sure many others can easily see that sometimes when we cry; we're crying about things that are less serious than other things. And that if we approach a topic like this realistically, we can actually feel better by thinking about these things rather than automatically getting upset with people because they point out that other people have greater problems. Like for instance, to get a little personal. As you guys know my spouse and I have had some financial troubles as of late. But I took part in a line of thinking that made me feel a whole lot better and that was as follows. "Gregory, oh person feeling so sorry for themselves. Your youtube channel isn't doing well. Because every time you get a video demonetized the traffic drops by nine-tenths. And unfortunately a huge portion of your videos are demonetized. Also you are learning very painful lessons the hard way in regards to taxes. But Gregory, I ask you this. Would you trade your position with the position of a person who has a very sick child?" And immediately after asking myself this question I thought 'no way'. No way would I want to trade the health of a child for my situation. I would rather be horribly poor than risk the health of a loved one. And in using this line of thinking, I began to feel much-much better. I started to realize you know what, my situation is bad but it could be so much worse. Now just because it can be so much worse, it doesn't mean that we're not allowed to complain. It doesn't mean we're not allowed to feel bad. But it dose mean that we're allowed to feel better about our situation. We human beings are allowed to hurt. We are allowed to react to things in numerous ways but we are also allowed to think of possible solutions to our suffering. In fact your own well being encourages you to think on the bright side rather than just feeling sorry for yourself consistently. But guess what. While happiness isn't always something that a person can easily accomplish; it is almost never a bad choice. So I want you to think about the pain in your life. The sad times. And I want you to think about some of the absolutely horrible things that have happened to people around the world. I then want you to ask yourself what it would be like being them. Like for instance people who lose their homes in hurricanes or people who have to run from their own countries because their countries are at war and their entire families are in danger. You see the reason we make such a big deal about our problems is very likely a product of evolution. It is our way of beginning the problem solving processes. In a child's mind when they drop that ice cream on the ground, that is the most serious and horrible thing that could happen to them. Or so that is how their mind thinks because of a significant lack of life experiences. Just like you freaking out about getting a B on your homework. You take that so seriously because that is your version of an absolutely dreadful problem and taking it so seriously serves the benefit of your future. So you do better on future homework. After all if you had the mentality that things could be so much worse and it is not such a big deal then maybe you wouldn't have as much of a drive to do better in the future. Maybe with this mentality now you wouldn't mind getting a C or a D or flunking out of school all together because you keep thinking 'other peoples problems are far worse'. So for the sake of continuing to succeed in life we make a gigantic problem out of often nothing. I mean when you look at the big picture. Then there is the more healthy option. Which is probably taking your own problems seriously but also acknowledging and respecting the fact that many other peoples problems are far more serious. And while you should do what you can to solve your own problems, you most certainly shouldn't go to someone who it terminally ill and complain to them about your life. As theirs is no doubt far more difficult and they don't need to hear you complaining. So in conclusion, understand that no matter what happens to you the odds are that it could get so-so much worse. And also understand you've in the past you have taken these things so seriously because your natural programming is begging you to fix these problems. Your biology wants you to be at the top of the food chain. It wants you to be your absolute best and for many of us, we can not become the best unless we curse ourselves every step along the way when we fail. But there is an alternate route. There is the route of self awareness. There is the route of instead of emotionally reacting to your problems, logically reacting to your problems. And instead of resorting to some kind of obsession or otherwise emotionally imbalanced response. You could simply go and critically think about what happened and how you could possibly fix it. The truth is on some level our problems matter because they matter to us but maybe we could do something decent for other people who have greater problems than ours. And not act like our problems are equal to theirs. Just because we cry as hard as someone else doesn't mean we understand their pain. In fact there are unimaginable levels of pain that others go through that I have yet to comprehend and so do you. Most of us don't know what it's like to lose a sibling. Most of us don't know what it's like to lose a significant other to their mortality. Most of us don't know what it's like to get our legs blown off overseas. Most of us don't understand true struggle. True struggle is not getting rejected by the cute boy at school. True struggle is not getting upset over the fact that you are not the valedictorian. For many of us the older we get the wiser we get. The more numb we become to our previous problems. The less emotional many of us tend to be. The more efficient we become as we now react to our problems logically instead of emotionally. Someone needs to be calm. Someone needs to address these issues with a level head. And that is why I'm encouraging you to all acknowledge the simple reality, that people who say the suffering of individuals who have loss less is equal to those who lost more. Those people haven't gone deep enough in this topic and realized it's all a result of our programming. Part of some wild design to keep us moving forward beyond our control. But it's gotten to the point where some of us are far better than our programming and some of us know a better way to handle our problems. I know in many cases it can be difficult but if you think about it, most problems only conquer you if you let them. I hope you'll try to not let most of your future problems take away your happiness. Sometimes you gotta look at the screwed up things that happen in life and just smile. Because if you don't let these situations rob you of your happiness, then these situations are that much less powerful. Regardless I feel like I have more than expressed my point and I thank you so much for watching all of this. I hope you have an absolutely lovely day.

[heyhowyadoingpally]

nobody asked for it, and nobody wanted it. and yet it’s happening anyway.

remember those lil reviews of some pokemon i did a while back? think of this as that, but a lot worse. essentially, i’m going to plow through, looking at every pokemon in every generation, giving my meaningless thoughts on them in a more in-depth kinda way.

who knows? somebody might learn something new from this. and by “somebody”, i mean “literally nobody”.

#001 - Mega: Bulbasaur Evolution

#001 - Bulbasaur

we’re starting off with the first pokemon, naturally. i mean, i know it’s not the first pokemon in the franchise, but it’s labeled as such in the pokedex, so we’re gonna go down that rabbit hole since it’s less of a mess.

anyhoo, yes, bulbasaur: a reptile of some sort that happens to have a symbiotic relationship with the plant growing on its back. i mean, sure, compared to some of the other pokemon out there, it’s not that wild. but think about it - the bulbasaur species evolved specifically so that a plant grows on it. like, the roots grow into the bulbasaur’s back. it doesn’t seem to really hurt the little guy, tho, so i guess it’s ok.

it kinda reminds me of some real-life symbiotic relationships, like how certain sloths let moss grow on them, and in return the moss helps the sloth hide better when it chills out in the trees.

hey, i never said that anything i was gonna say was interesting.

#002 - Ivysaur

my, my, bulbasaur: you’ve gotten quite large.

it makes logical sense that ivysaur’s flower would get ready to bloom. it’s almost like a really bad puberty joke or something. either that, or i’m trying too hard to be funny.

the lil nubs that once were are now ears. so does that mean bulbasaurs can’t hear very well, if at all? again, i suppose it works in a naturalistic sort of way. newborn animals can’t really see, so i guess bulbasaur traded in his ears for eyes? i don’t know. maybe i’m looking too deep.

ivysaur also slowly starts to lack a visible neck, smothering it in folds of flesh. so the bulbasaur family is a little chunky; i’m not complaining.

(m)

(f)

#003 - Venusaur

christ, dude. you really packed on the pounds. you’re like a giant, smooshy, walking tank.

i love that instead of a fancy or delicate flower blooming, it’s this almost treelike thing. i really do love that. it throws you off-guard the first time you see it. but it works well with venusaur. i mean, clearly he’s not the kind of guy who goes for looks.

a nice, subtle touch that i think is also pretty great is that the female venusaurs have a seed at the center of their flower. idk if i made it clear yet, but i love pokemon who have aspects/characteristics that make remind me of real-world nature. the little things like that go a long way, you know?

Mega Venusaur

honestly, i’m not a big fan of how most of the “mega” evolutions look. it’s like they try so hard to look “badass” that they just fall flat and look like edgy deviantart ocs.

that being said, i actually kinda like mega venusaur. they didn’t overdo it, but they also didn’t do too little: the flower’s stem is a bit taller, the leaves are larger, there’s some vines, more leaves....

he looks more like an older venusaur, like he’d be the leader of a small herd or group bulbasaurs and the like. i wouldn’t change anything about him at all.

RATING:

5/5 venonats. look, i’m not gonna use pokeballs because that’s too bland and using garbodors would be too predictable of me.

if people think this is actually really great and not at all a dumb decision, i might continue doing this series. it won’t be every day, but just here and there. i’m not gonna make my blog nothing but garbage.

PREVIOUS POKEFART: (none you mongoloid)

NEXT POKEFART: Charmander Line