#anyway. sometimes i think abt those people and hope they're living good lives!

[leatherbookmark]

randomly picked up vol2 of given and Emotions have overtaken me.

[barghest-land]

(Regarding the making friends poll post) You and I are so similar and it makes me feel so much better because I always thought my combination of things was unique to me, but there's hope?! This is exciting news but I'm too shy to approach you and be friends 😭

there's always hope anon, it's hard to live with those things but there are definitely good times coming :) for me it's esp falling in love part cuz imagine feeling things every time someone makes u a playlist. or just talks abt their day and "i saw this pretty flower today on my way back home and i took a pic for u" i hate my silly brain sometimes it's so annoying. but at the same time i love people and i love my friends they're so dear to me and i wanna put them all in my pocket and keep them safe the same way i wanna do it with my fav fictional characters if that makes any sense LMAO. my therapist would probably say something smart about me feeling lonely and this being normal but i'd still call it being silly bc it's kinda embarrassing. i'm open to joke about it tho. makes it easier :D life is a joke anyway went too far on this whoops. but! wanted to say that i'm also shy, can be a forgetting-to-respond-and-have-to-be-reminded goofball, and i'm often scared to talk to people so i have to approach them in different ways (this is also like extra funny to me tho) but if u wanna be silly together and talk for a bit ur always welcome to! there's no pressure and no "we MUST be friends after we talk" we can just discuss silly things without it being something big and serious. sometimes i think about it that way and it makes it easier to talk to people. i'm bad with words but i hope it makes some sense :D

[rollercoasterwords]

oh!!!! happy 100k words wfrau!!!!!!! she's getting bigger (<- like you would speak of a puppy). how long is it supposed to be & how far along are you? and also... would you like to share a snippet you like (from any chapter ofc... no pressure if no it's completely understandable)? what do you enjoy the most about writing it? bc it seems like you're having fun & it's so nice to see someone enjoying a hobby so openly online... especially writing... there's this conception that writers don't actually enjoy writing (the whole 'forcing myself to write' bit) and i'm curious to hear your perspective on it!! also!!!!!! i hope moving will be easy & fun & the world will be kind to you with the change <3 i keep telling myself 2 read marx but i can't find any good translations to my native language and reading it in english is making my brain go grgrgrgrgr like an air conditioner on its last leg so alas it might have to wait... so true for liking iced drinks they're really the best!! i've heard someone say it's childish but i think they just live a very miserable hot life in the august heat drinking their hot coffee instead of putting some ice cubes in it :) it's funny you say that about fav line because it's definitely my fav fic of your writing & the ending of it is soooo beautiful i get back to it every time i need to feel something!!!!! that song line is beautiful too omg... and well the weather is hell everywhere at least the world is all suffering together :( i hope the atmosphere isn't suffering too much :/ honestly i am a big 'i would rather be hot than cold' believer because i am from a hot country so i know how to deal with the heat but you know what i'm sure the chill can also be intriguing to some... not me though... i hope the winter will be kind on you <3 thank u for letting me invade ur ask box i am creating myself a room here for now i think. anyway. love and hugs!!!! <333

hello!! she is indeed getting bigger <3 if i had to guess right now i'd say i'm maybe...possibly nearing the halfway point of the fic, plotwise? but honestly it's really hard to say lol. i've got 2 more story arcs to cover in part 3 (plus finishing the current one), and then part 4 is gonna have like...2 or 3 story arcs as well, plus an epilogue. so it just depends on how long it takes me to cover all that ground!

and yeah i'm having a lot of fun writing!! i know what u mean abt the whole "ugh writing amirite" bit that writers do lol and i'm sure i do it sometimes too...i mean i think tone varies a lot and many people who complain about writing still really enjoy the activity, but i do think there is sometimes this self-flagellating tendency amongst some writers to act like writing is meant to be this strenuous, emotionally draining activity like ur...idk sisyphus w the stone or something, and if you're writing something 'easy' or 'fun' you're somehow a lower caliber of writer than those who Nobly Suffer for their art, etc...which i think is dumb lol. suffering doesn't inherently make art any better or more noble

& thank u 4 the well-wishes w moving!! i'm mostly nervous about getting to my flight on time lol i have to go into work the literal day before i leave and then catch a train across the country at 5am the next morning 2 get 2 the airport...not going 2 be fun so i'll take all the well-wishes i can get !!

sorry 2 hear u can't find marx in ur native language :( it's hard enough 4 me 2 understand reading in my first language i cannot imagine trying 2 parse it in a second language...maybe it might be easier 2 find one of his (or engels') shorter texts 2 read? capital is a monster but i started off with a few shorter pieces ('socialism: utopian and scientific', 'principles of communism', 'wage labour and capital,' 'value price and profit') which i found helpful! also there are lots of secondary resources of other people breaking down + explaining marx's work; maybe there's a good source in your native language that could give a summary/overview of capital? there's no one right way 2 learn, it's just abt finding what works best for u!!

iced drink supremacy 4ever truly <3 me myself & i we can only enjoy a hot beverage if it's very cold outside...otherwise i am simply thinking well why would i do that 2 myself... & thank u!! happy 2 hear u like the lines!! v happy w them v proud <3 & also appreciate the well-wishes re: weather i cannot relate 2 the hot-weather preference i much prefer cold...or at least i used to i grew up in a relatively cold climate but then i moved south 4 university so at this point i'm going on 6 years of living in what is categorized as a "humid subtropical climate" & i think my winter tolerance has been all but destroyed it hardly ever drops below freezing...but hot&humid weather is still my least favorite i think i would prefer icy-cold winter + mild summer but i will be actually putting that theory 2 the test this year so!! who knows maybe my hubris will be my downfall...

& of course!! u are welcome 2 stop by + chat anytime...in my heart we are drinking iced beverages 2gether <3 also as requested here is a snippet from ch 14:

“Don’t,” he tells her, firmly, “Don’t say that. I don’t—want you involved. If they ever did anything to hurt you…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” She stares at him, eyes ablaze. “And how do you think I feel? Knowing that they only pick on you because—” her voice falters, cracking, “Because you’re with me?” Her lip is trembling again, tears threatening to spill over from her eyes. Sirius shakes his head, helplessly, at a loss for what to do.

[a-system-and-fanworks]

Hi! I hope this blog isn't inactive but if it is and you've decided to log back in years later for whatever reason and see this- that's cool! Dw abt it

My situation: I'm specifically trying to not write a character with DID/OSDD because I feel it would be harmful representation in the story with how it works. However, I'm worried that it will read as if I am anyway. I'd appreciate help to avoid this.

My character is a conduit that connects their world to a magical otherworld. They are not aware of this till much later in the story. This means that at any time, creatures from that otherworld (wether accidentally or on purpose) can suddenly inhabit their body, shoving their own consciousness to the back.

A lot of the time, if the creature has entered accidentally, they may be confused or disoriented and do things humans wouldn't do, sometimes getting violent because of it. There is one (or two) reoccurring charcter(s) that are first disoriented and maybe violent but over time and re-entering their body repeatedly, form a connection with the character and work towards a common goal. However there is also another one that appears in their body exactly once on purpose, and then tries to tear them apart in order to make their connection to the otherworld more physical and larger.

I dont think this would be a good allegory for DID/OSDD specifically because of the violence. So I want to know if there's any way I can do this without making it read as such. I have friends in systems and I absolutely do not want to contribute to the hatred against them. Your help would be much appreciated.

P.S. I am writing another character that actually has DID in a different story! They're still in the research and construction phase but just wanted to let you know :)

Haha yes this blog is still active, I should probably put a little note in the header or something

But as for your ask, maybe drawing a parallel between their situation and things that affect all sorts of people would help clarify the difference. It seems like the main point of conflict is that the character has to play a role they didn't choose (even if they come to be okay with it later), and that's something that can happen to anyone.

Some parallels could be working a retail job, being closeted to your family, or even being in the military. All of those can have a massive effect on one's life and make them feel out of control of their lives, and that might distance the comparison to DID/OSDD.

Another idea is that you could include a reference to DID/OSDD within the story, specifically to contrast it against how your character's situations works.

(Side note: I don't think violence inherently makes it a "bad allegory," violence can definitely be a part of system dynamics, but you're right, it's an oversaturated aspect of works about DID/OSDD/similar things, and contributes to stigma)

I hope these spark some ideas for you, if you want to write back and keep brainstorming feel free! :)

[sometipsygnostalgic]

hi! in re to your post about your diagnosis, do you mind saying a tiny bit abt the process? im asking bc i have thought RLLY hard over the past few months on the possibility that i may be autistic- like, a lot of things ive wondered about myself would make more sense if i was and the idea of that has brought some peace to me. but i have NO idea how to go abt the process of talking with a mental health professional abt it and/or getting a diagnosis. i totally understand if you don’t want to share abt your process at all and i don’t want to make you uncomfortable with this question, so please feel free to ignore it. but if you are willing to share like the first step that you took in the process, i would rlly appreciate it! im just confused rn. anyway, i hope you’re having a good day/week/month lol :^)

hi anon!

I live in the United Kingdom, there are two options here, you can ask for a referral from the NHS, or you can self-refer privately which will cost £2000 for an assessment...

so what I did for my autism assessment is go to my doctors surgery, and explain to a doctor that I suspected I was autistic. I gave my reasons why - difficulty at school, difficulty with crowds, I talk really bluntly, sometimes i can become very anxious very fast - and the doctor recognised there were enough symptoms for a referral.

the autism referral centre eventually sent me a series of questionnaires, some were for me, some were for my father or for some other person who has known me since i was a child (i dont know what you're supposed to do if you have nobody).

i didnt' like the questionnaires because they were confusing, you have to give relative answers for what you think your own behaviour is, some things i would have problems with relative to friends but not relative to people with severe learning difficulties (like my cousin who is also autistic and is 8 but cannot speak more than a few words), so i wasnt sure what exactly i was meant to answer with there.

i procrastinated for like 5 months on submitting those forms (it was hell). then they decided i sounded autistic enough for a proper assessment and put me on a waiting list.

when it came time for the actual assessment which took place 15 months later, I was referred by the NHS to a third party because of the backlog, so it was all done remotely rather than me going to a centre.

my father and i were given more questionnaires (which were bugged, make sure that any online forms you're sent don't delete your answers in one column when you're filling in another column). my dad's questionnaire was MASSIVE and went really into my early childhood, asking whether i had brain injuries or stuff like that. the idea is they want to rule out the possibility of misdiagnosis, whether my autistic traits are a result of something else.

i was given a questionnaire too and i found it somewhat confusing, they asked me how i would feel if i got a positive/negative result on the diagnosis. i thought this was to catch me out. it's probably to make sure people aren't going to kill themselves if they're told they're autistic or not autistic, but i think the questions were weird anyway. i answered as much of the other questions as i could in relation to autism.

when it came to an actual assessment, i was asked questions for an hour and a half over camera, largely about my own emotional responses to things. i was also asked to help narrate a visual storybook, and to tell stories with inanimate objects. it was part of the adult assessment, and again it was to rule out other conditions, rather than to indicate whether i was autistic, because lets just say that i am very good at making stories up on the spot.

my dad meanwhile was interviewed for 3 hours about my childhood. when i was done with my assessment i joined him for that questioning and filled in the blanks, because my dad wasn't actually around for a large part of my childhood.

a few hours later we had the diagnostic call and they told me i was autistic and that they will send a report (still waiting) with information on this and also on post-diagnostic support services in my area, which i think is going to be very useful.

[sweet-little-dude]

hiii taku i come with bonten takeomi & natsu brainrot. also it’s a lot bc i can’t shut up abt them help. this is just copy paste of me being insane abt them to my qpp bc i’m too lazy to type it all again but yeah

basically their vibe is when takeomi is too tired of bonten's shit he visits natsu's tiny flat and she cooks spaghetti or smth that they have with wine before they slow dance to music playing on the old record player she stole from her parents when moving out and when they're sleepy enough they put on a shitty old movie and fall asleep cuddling trying to watch it. also they go to clubs together, they are friends though often get mistaken for a couple, and they have kissed quite a bunch of times. not sure if this part is canon but they might've fucked a bunch of times too and i can assure you if they did they both stood on a balcony to smoke together afterwards they 100% smoke and drink together (maybe a little too often) and their whole thing is pretty ride or die oriented,, they're together to have fun and forget the shitty parts of their lives. to be themselves for once. to have someone who understands and relates

i am a little insane about them sorry

also natsu is the oldest of five siblings and she fucked up all of her sibling relationships bc she used to be in a gang and her siblings are still all in a gang, all the same one, but a different one from hers. and yeah shit went down when their gangs fought and natsu's won. she'd now like to fix her relationship with her siblings but they don't even accept her calls most of the time and it's even more one-sided than takeomi & sanzu :(( but it's also one of the biggest things that make them relate to each other ajdkfkhsj i think they start venting to each other too bc they understand v much how the other feels yk

also more natsu sibling drama but even tho she left her gang her siblings are still in a gang as i've mentioned before n it's a LOT smaller than bonten more just beating up people for fun and some minor drug smuggling but natsu gets jumped by some gang members every other week/month n she's pretty good at defending herself but she still calls takeomi to pick & patch her up sometimes bc yk she just wants some comfort in her situation...

okay maybe i am more than just a little insane about them but like. they <33 also me on my 'wtf is defining a relationship' agenda again but i think they're mostly friends but also like. they fuck labeling their relationship they just know it's very much not romantic. but could be fuck all apart from that tbh. friends? fwbs? smth between? god knows but they're close and not romantic that's all that matters

so those were the paragraphs. sadly in my fic they just met for the 1st n 2nd time so there’s none of that at all but i’m def considering writing abt them bc goddamn i love them 😭 and i think takeomi deserves a friend. he’s just a lonely dripping wet pathetic little cat of a man and that’s a little mean yk? anyways i also have a picrew image of natsu hehe. bg lore for it is that the jacket she’s wearing is the one takeomi gives her in my fic when they first meet bc she’s cold n he wants to repay her for making sure sanzu is okay <3 it’s one of her fav pieces of clothing after that i think just because yk

phew i think that was all the insanity i have abt her atm hope you enjoy fr

YES FINALLY HERE WE GOOOO

literally the first sentence abt them and im already in love. SLOW DANCING 😭😭‼️‼️🔥🔥💔💔 damn boy i want what they have frfr. NAH CUZ I RLLY WANT WHAT THEY HAVE. to finally be able to act like ur true self without judgement and be able to be affectionate without the binds of an actual romantic relationship RAHHHHHHHH I WANT THAT. also dont apologise man i can see why u are lolllll

oh man dont hurt me like that w the sibling issues nooooo :( at least they both have each other to vent abt this stuff. but yea go off natsu beat their asses fr ‼️

NO BCUZ THAT AGENDA IS SO REAL. i love love love them tho they seem so :)))) with one another so they get an easy thumbs up of approval from me ^ ^.

YES PLS CONTINUE WRITING MORE ON THEM IM OBSESSEDDDDDDD. ur description on omi is so fucking on point what the hell T T. YESSSSS MAKING PICREWS OF OCS IS THE BEST I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL. thatz so sweet of them tho wtf.

all in all im a bit invested in them now thanks elys 🙄🙄 /j

[sorrcha]

Silly question on surveybots, but I need to know! Do they make any kind of noises??

good question, not silly at all! they can make a lot of different noises ^^

beeps, whistling, warbling, and other animal-like sounds are all pretty common. they help surveybots communicate about any possible dangers or interesting events.

surveybots used to be mass-produced (factory style), but their programming/code lines were pirated by smugglers to be made freely available to the public. thanks to the smugglers' efforts, it's cheaper to make surveybots from scratch. because of this, and the inevitable differences in parts, no two surveybots sound the same.

i think the only times surveybots are completely silent are when they need to be, such as when spying or sneaking around. in other cases, it's because the bot has been built without a noisemaker, but they don't mind. it's easy to upgrade the bot to include one if needed.

the sounds also make them more appealing to living beings! idk abt other people, but if a surveybot crawled onto my lap and started purring like a cat, i'd be adopting it on the spot :-)

the main three species in my setting make and use surveybots- humans, centaurs, and draks. human surveybots are the most common and tend to look most like what i drew. they make noises most similar to those of common animals on earth (birds, cats, etc.)

centaur-made surveybots are usually very quiet. when they make noise, it's from the physical mechanics of the bot rather than a noisemaker. to huff and sigh, they push air through their circulation vents. to show surprise or aggression, they stomp or hit their tail against the ground. etc.

drak-made surveybots are made in the image of their creators, so they're much more reptilian in appearance, often with decorative crests for visual communication. their vocalizations are usually limited to hisses, growls, and rumbles (like how real-life crocodilians bellow during territorial disputes).

high-end surveybots sometimes have enough memory/programming to speak a language (sometimes two or three). it's widely seen as creepy, though, so such bots often end up using standard vocalizations anyways. it can come in handy for relaying messages or translating, though.

i hope this wasn't too much whsbskf!! i had fun rambling about the surveybots :D

[multi-lefaiye]

good timezone multi an i hear more abt this new wip idea

yes absolutely you may!

okay so. gonna go ahead and say right off the bat. big content warning for suicide. i'm not going to go into any detail but that's kinda part of the premise here- just to be safe i'll put it under the cut but just know there is no actual suicide here, this is just a story about a bunch of people who are fucking Going Through It.

ANYWAY so the premise that apparently HAS been done but y'know what i don't care my concept now.

the premise is that the story starts when a group of people all fucking Going Thru It meet on a rooftop one night, all of them planning to end their lives. HOWEVER, they all feel really awkward with other people there, and no one actually goes through with it. the group ends up going out to eat together, no one sure how to handle this situation, and talking about their lives and experiences

the group ends up becoming friends!!!! it's so incredibly awkward but they become besties!! and the full story would follow the characters' individual journeys through whatever they're going through as they support each other and find their way and find reasons to keep going!!! wahoo!!

and yeah this would be at its heart a like. dark comedy. but it also would be my earnest attempt at a story that centers around the idea that recovery isn't linear--there are going to be good days, and there are going to be bad days, but sometimes all you can do is just keep going and see what the next day has to offer. so yeah it's dark and funny in kind of a fucked up way but at the end of the day it's hopeful!!!!

do i know if this is going to microwave long enough to actually become something? nope! do i really enjoy stories about recovery that are at their heart very hopeful? yes <3

anyway while we're here uhhh i don't have concrete characters yet, i just have a vague list of vibes and concepts, but i do know they're all gonna be queer because i am evidently incapable of writing cishet allo characters. i try, and then i think about them too long and i realize they're not all of those things.

also probably gonna be projecting a lot because what is fiction if not a vehicle for self-exploration?

(i'm also thinking i might add some supernatural elements to distinguish this more from this movie from 2014 that did this concept but uhh we will see! i don't want those elements to overshadow the characters' storylines but. hbmbm much to consider.)

[koishua]

hi vienna ,, tbh u dont need to read this bc idk if itd be triggering (body image issues) and id rather u not trouble urself bc of me but id like to vent somewhere and i dont have any1 to talk 2 so pls feel free to ignore .

ive always been overweight for my age but i never faced any bullying abt it other than some very occasion name calling of "fat" in elementary school and my family's disaproval for the way i look. as i grew up, i started to feel more comfortable around others despite not being satisfied with the way i look and i assumed that as kids mature they become more accepting, bc i had never been truly bullied b4 i just assumed it might be rare in communities such as where i lived compared to some of the horror stories i had heard. anyways all my life i had assumed people had been seeing me for more than what i looked like, i always tried to be kind and make a good impression on other but ig that's not true. as much as i love my circle of friends, im not sure i can see them same after what happened on friday. it isnt even their fault, i just feel very insecure now. but basically in 1 of my classes, we had a change in seating so i no longer sat near my friends but 2 acquantainces (they're rlly sweet girls but idk them too well) and this one guy that i also dont know very well other than that in 8th grade he had dated an old friend of mine for a little bit. but anywyas tbh i feel like im just being dramatic but i srsly can't get his conversation out of my mind . the boy was sat next to me and talking to his friend, their convo alr starting off on a wierd note abt kanye west. and the guy next to me (ill call him ray to make it easy) starts off by saying that kanye's note all that bad and has said some pretty true things. ray then goes on to say that fat people dont deserve to exist and body positivity is a completely stupid subject bc it only encourages obesity and unhealthy habits. all the while he's saying this, seated right next to me and im pretty sure he was glancing at me while saying it too . those 90 minutes were the most uncomfortable in my entire life. i was literally panicking while he was talking abt it and it's all that i can think of now. their conversation was truly disturbing to me and my confidence feels as if its completely tanked . his comments of "fat people are gross" and "being fat shouldnt be celebrated" keep ringing in my head everytime i go out or see myself in a mirror. i genuinely feel so broken and it hurts that theyve probably dont realize the effect of their words but also it hurts that that's all they can see me as. not another human being or a classmate but just "fat". idk where im going with this but i dont feel ok and i feel so exhausted now ,, just the thought of having to see ray's face again or hear his voice is scaring me . maybe im just overthinking but i cant help but wonder if my friends picture me the same way. am i even deserving of love if im so "ugly" . my friends sometimes comment that i look way older than my age or that i could pass for college aged and even comments like those are hard to brush off for me. sometimes i wonder if i should restrain my jokes and personality to stay kind bc that's all i am to them. just a source of comfort, and if i dont do that then i could be easily execused. im always scared of saying the wrong thing but now i keep wondering if it would never even matter bc all anyone will ever see me as is "fat" . it's not like i haven't tried to lose weight so i rlly hate everything that ray said and its srsly put me thru sm turmoil . anyways i shld keep this brief (sorry for the rant) and im sorry again for using ur inbox to rant , i rlly hope this doesn't cause you any pain or you find it triggering :( i apologize if it has caused you any concern or pain. i hope ur good and stay happy vie

tw: body image and weight talk

hello, dear :( let me start this off by saying that don't worry, i am perfectly alright and am glad that you feel it's safe enough to vent and write your feelings out in my inbox. you don't have to apologize for anything! i am the one who says that they're open if anyone needs to rant or vent. i would never judge. i had to read this a few times in order to collect my thoughts, so pardon me for delaying this a bit. i wasn't sure if you wanted my direct response, so i will just keep it short.

i won't say that i completely understand what you've been through and i can't speak on experiences i haven't personally lived through. however, as another human being, i will say this: you absolutely deserve to exist. i hope you never ever doubt that. i know how difficult it is to deal with comments about your appearance and it angers me so much that you're treated this way. i get how the side comments every now and then feels. bullying is horrible, but this is just as bad for someone's self esteem and health. im truly so sorry and wish i could do something for you, but i can't because of obvious reasons (that being me being just an online presence and not there with you).

i just want to reassure you that no matter what anyone says, you deserve love and life and goodness. a lot of people don't understand how difficult it is when you don't weigh below a certain number or how isolated that could make someone feel regardless if they're mentioned or not. everyone is so much more than just their appearance. idk how else i could help you other than to strongly remind you that you are you and that should be enough for your friends and that people should learn to keep their mouths shut on their opinions about other people's appearance. it doesn't matter if you lose the weight or if you tell them you struggle a lot with it. those people should reassess the way they're treating another human being with real feelings and thoughts. never lose who you are and trying to be what other people need and want you to be. it may end up making things worse, i know, and im not sure if you've ever told them directly that their words are extremely rude and hurtful and that they should stop, but someone (even if it's not you yourself) really, really should.

i pray that none of what i said has further upset you in any way. if so, i sincerely apologize :( i genuinely hope that this never happens to you again and that you'll have a greater year than ever and that you'll find wholehearted acceptance and love from those you are surrounded by and that you'll slowly but surely feel comfortable in your own skin. take care and you're loved! people like the ray you mentioned are not worth feeling bad over.

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning lovie!! i've read this fic and omg it's cute TT 1) i think it made my forehead even more hot (not as hot as you though ;)) due to the temperature, 2) why sonya?? no but why?? why sonya?? really self-indulged but as i know it's mostly spread on the territory of slavik countries? i may be really wrong but ig i never heard specifically this very form 'sonya' in you know... foreign media and all. kitty gif TT i love your kitty gifs sm TT they're so cute TT 'im too lazy to think of them all' lol we're so same... when i came to kpop i wanted to know like every group existing and now i don't even remember some of the names of idols i used to like... but what a soft spot svt and got7 got in my heart TT svt's japanese releases?? the pure blessing. 'well ur my cat now' meow meow. if those songs about broken heart and being high when i was merely 12 had made me your cat than ig i can tell everyone how i've gone a really long way... to teach you all how to be successful!! 'im starting my classes so it will take a while' it's all fine!! take all the time you need!! yk that i can wait for a what? yeah never tired of the jokes abt it classes should be your first priority, tumblr can handle you living your big brained life. 'what you think of what i’ll end up with' end up first ig TT but i'm eager to know too 'WHY SHAPED LIKE FRIEND' actually there was a bear that attacked 2 children once... akmu are good. i'm not really a fan but they do have charming voices. i liked 'let's take time' more. ballads or ballads-like songs aren't for me ig. 'resistance to getting sick???' ig i understand hvhdjdj. thanks love!! guess i shouldn't send you grateful kisses rn but i do appreciate it!! luv u<з 'SOMETIMES IT SHOULD JUST WRITE ITSELF!!!!' YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! so right catmom so right!!!! what are these scientists even doing?? why can't they invent such a thing?? i know probably some things like this exist but it's not exactly what we need!! 'my ears T_T' god bless your ears... and thanks for explaining all these music words!! hfjsjs guess soon i'll be able to understand these people who attended music school (dk if it's truly what they call it) i've got results of that academic competition, btw. as i've said, i'd done really bad. but i'm 14th! the meme is NO ONE got even more than a half... like no one has even 50 when the max is 100. even the winner... we're all so silly and it makes me feel better. 'good night my love!' it's almost every time night. so thanks!! good morning to you, hottie-cutie!!! have a nice day! praying for you!! pretending that i'm scared by your threat (will you do anything to your cat?? meow meow). hope i'll get better soon too. love you!! take care <з

GOOD MORNING <3 lets hope i answer fast enough before my class starts AHAHAHAH (not that that my online classes have ever stopped me from doing anything)

LOL THIS CAT REMINDS ME OF THIS OTHER CAT IN PUSS IN BOOTS

life imitates art imitates life HAHAHAHAH

anyway

i've read this fic and omg it's cute TT 1) i think it made my forehead even more hot (not as hot as you though ;)) due to the temperature,

T_T yes im so glad you acknowledge im hot but pls take care of yourself drink some water T_T idk have some chicken soup? and drink your medicine. im glad you think its cute it is 😌

2) why sonya?? no but why?? why sonya?? really self-indulged but as i know it's mostly spread on the territory of slavik countries? i may be really wrong but ig i never heard specifically this very form 'sonya' in you know... foreign media and all.

HAHHAAHAHAH well to be fair, i had a libriarian in school i think her name was sonia with an i but idk so for the longest time i thought sonya was spanish because the philippines had the spanish as their colonizers for 333 years lol. but i will say i was just going through girl names as one does when writing and i found sonya and was like yes i like the way that name sounds. her name was supposed to be cornellia then lucille then smth else but i liked sonya the most. i did see in the description it was russian in origin so it made me like it even more lol. not because of you HAHAHAHAHAH i didnt even think of you then AHHAHAHAHAHAH but because i have just always liked the way russian names sound. <3

idk it sounds very satisfying to me, both very familiar and foreign all at once. i like the letter blends you have <3 i esp like it when russian boy names sound 'feminine' lol cos again we were colonized by spain and spanish words that end in 'a' are usually classified as feminine, and so when i found out russian names like alexander and dmitri had nicknames like sasha and misha i was like 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 HUH? THATS ADORABLE i jusT LIKE FEMENINE SOUNDING BOY NAMES AND SOME MASCULINE SOUNDING GIRL NAMES OK LHASDHALSHDSA I WENT ON A RANT AHAHAHAHH

kitty gif TT i love your kitty gifs sm TT they're so cute TT

cats are so weird and cute

'im too lazy to think of them all' lol we're so same... when i came to kpop i wanted to know like every group existing and now i don't even remember some of the names of idols i used to like... but what a soft spot svt and got7 got in my heart TT svt's japanese releases?? the pure blessing.

HAHAAH LAZY BIG BRAIN THINGS HAHAAHH. i love japanese comebacks too!!! HONESTLY WERE SO THE SAME. i think japanese comebacks are sometimes better than the korean ones lol HASLdhas AHAHHAHAH idk i think it has something to do with the language again cos japanese also gives me the same vibes as russian that is familiar and foreign all at once. probably cos of all the consonants.

'well ur my cat now' meow meow. if those songs about broken heart and being high when i was merely 12 had made me your cat than ig i can tell everyone how i've gone a really long way... to teach you all how to be successful!!

T_T my success cat coach T_T HAHAHHAHHAH

'im starting my classes so it will take a while' it's all fine!! take all the time you need!! yk that i can wait for a what? yeah never tired of the jokes abt it

AHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA will do baby cakes

classes should be your first priority, tumblr can handle you living your big brained life.

slay

'what you think of what i’ll end up with' end up first ig TT but i'm eager to know too

T_T LOL ASHFHAS:OFHA:SF

'WHY SHAPED LIKE FRIEND' actually there was a bear that attacked 2 children once...

akmu are good. i'm not really a fan but they do have charming voices. i liked 'let's take time' more. ballads or ballads-like songs aren't for me ig.

i see i see this is where we begin to differ i think hahahha interesting

'resistance to getting sick???' ig i understand hvhdjdj. thanks love!! guess i shouldn't send you grateful kisses rn but i do appreciate it!! luv u<з

lhafhasfh;asf pssshhh you can send me kisses its fine im not gonna catch your fever through the screen Ashlash aHAHHAHAHHAH

'SOMETIMES IT SHOULD JUST WRITE ITSELF!!!!' YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! so right catmom so right!!!! what are these scientists even doing?? why can't they invent such a thing?? i know probably some things like this exist but it's not exactly what we need!!

YOURE SO RIGHT WHAT ARE SCIENTISTS DOING T_T🤬🤬🤬👎👎👎😡😡😡😡😡

'my ears T_T' god bless your ears... and thanks for explaining all these music words!! hfjsjs guess soon i'll be able to understand these people who attended music school (dk if it's truly what they call it)

AHHAHHAHH yeah soon you'll know everything i know about music HAHAHAH to be fair, i go to music school and T_T sometimes i have absolutely no idea what people are talking about

i've got results of that academic competition, btw. as i've said, i'd done really bad. but i'm 14th! the meme is NO ONE got even more than a half... like no one has even 50 when the max is 100. even the winner... we're all so silly and it makes me feel better.

HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH see the test was stupid /: but not you youre so smart [hugs] what a rat test AHAHAHA

'good night my love!' it's almost every time night. so thanks!! good morning to you, hottie-cutie!!! have a nice day! praying for you!!

praying for you <3 idk what time it is there so good morning/afternoon/evening <3

pretending that i'm scared by your threat (will you do anything to your cat?? meow meow).

IM OFFENDED THAT YOURE NOT 😡😡😡😡😡👎👎👎👎👎🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬👿👿👿👿👿👹👹👹👹👹👹👺👺👺👺👺🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅 I WILL STOMP YOU YOURE NOT ACTUALLY A CAT ALSO YOURE TALLER THAN ME GRRRR TACKLE WRESTLE SLAM DUNK

hope i'll get better soon too. love you!! take care <з

[shigarakislittlepet]

Hooooh boy👀 okay so if you have a character limit just do Dabi and Shinsou (my absolute favourite boys) but if you don't have a character limit I'd also like Aizawa and Bakugou with a s/o who's very obedient and good for them (and ofc good to them) and they're afraid that they're boring because they don't really break any rules or misbehave. Everybody's on and on abt brats and my obedient subby lil ass is over here like qwq obedient subbies aren't boring😤😤 take your time and don't feel pressured oke?? 💕💕

oh my god i love you, you are so so sweet 💕💕💕 I hope I did this request justice, the implications are just !!! So sweet QuQ

no character limit, so i will do all the bbys 🥰

TW: NSFW, Dom/sub themes, light quirk use for sexy times (shinsou), Daddy kink (for Aizawa, I’m sorry lol), some name calling... I think that’s it! Let me know if I missed anything!

HERES MY TAKE ON SUPER GOOD SUBS AND HOW THE HUBBIES WOULD REACT!

-Dabi-

•Okay okay so we all know Dabi is a HARD dom, he has a LOT of aggression to work through in a healthy way, and you help make that happen!

•You’d worry that Dabi would prefer a “bad girl”, a brat that talked back sometimes so he could punish them and REALLY let all that frustration out!

•Once you talked to him about it he would laugh at you. He’s just mean like that lol. BUT once he calmed down and realized it was something that was actually bothering you he’d just look at you and be like “...really?”

•Because what you HADN’T considered is that Dabi spent so much of his life with absolutely no control over his environment, he lived in constant fear of uncertainty. The only certainty he EVER had at home was pain.

•You provide him with total control. You never talk back, you never question him. You do as you’re told and then you say “Thank you Sir” in your sweet little voice no matter what depraved things he’s made you do for him. The absolute control he has with you makes him feel like he’s on top of the world! And you THANK him for it??? Way to stroke his massive ego while you’re at it, damn.

•You give him the stability he never thought he’d have, and the unconditional love and adoration and worship that he never thought he deserved. To him, you’re perfect. His perfect little angel. He would kill and die for you. He would get drunk off of your submission.

•He’d get bored of a brat pretty quickly, not as much of a power trip in his opinion. XP

•I feel like he doesn’t really go heavy on the praise, but when it DOES happen, when you’re on your knees worshipping his cock and using your talented mouth for what it’s MEANT to be used for, and he’s certain your mouth was meant for this, and he slides a hand into your hair grabbing a handful and tugging while his other hand grasps at any stable piece of furniture for some stability and groans out unfiltered praises in his deep gravelly voice??? It feels like you’re both on cloud nine, and nothing is ever going to tear you down from it.

-Shinsou-

• Shinsou would love his precious little kitty cat and shower you with praise and adoration and gifts to reward you for being so good for him all the time. He is a quiet simp, and will the worship the ground you walk on.

• If you voiced your concern about being boring, he would just smile deviously and then back you up against a wall of your shared apartment and start kissing your neck and saying things like “What do you mean kitty cat, don’t we have fun?” And then he will spend the next few hours reminding you just how much fun you have together~~~

• He would make sure that you never worried about being boring again. He would have a wonderful time making you verbalize all the "fun" things you want him to do to you. The fact that he can make you say all those embarrassing things so easily and make you beg for him without a second thought from you makes him so unbelievably feral. He doesn't even have to use his quirk to make you do anything he wants, which makes him feel like the most powerful man that’s ever lived, although whenever you bat your pretty little eyes at him and beg him to "Pleeeaaaassseeee brainwash me and turn me into your puppet? Pretty please?”. He will melt, and he will HAVE to grant all his perfect little kitten’s wishes.

• The reason he absolutely adores your complete obedience and submission is the undying and unwavering trust you clearly have in him. To do all the things he asks of you, no matter how humiliating, without so much as a single complaint? It makes him lightheaded and he will tell you that there is only one feeling in the world better than that, and thats being in love with you. He’s such a sap.

• It's the trust he gets off on. Even after becoming a pro-hero, the media tends to treat him similarly to Aizawa. They have this sort of “scary vigilanty that barely operates within the law” angle on him, even though he isn’t scary at all, and he’s a wonderful hero. The public tends to like him, but in a wary sort of way. Some people are still afraid to look him in the eyes or respond to him at all. So the trust you openly display is intoxicating to him.

• And of course, as is most important, the fact that you trust him enough that you will use your safe word when you need to, knowing that he will immediately put a stop to whatever is going on and hold you tight and take care of you never fails to warm his heart. He is never disappointed when this happens because it shows just how much you TRUST him to take care of you and not abuse his power.

-Aizawa-

• Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

•Okay so Aizawa is a different beast entirely.

•We all know Aizawa is a Daddy, and he expects his sweet little submissive baby to behave at all times. He’s HAD bratty subs before, and honestly, he finds them tiring. He can and WILL correct misbehaving subs with an iron fist, but over time he’s gotten tired of the whiny “make me”’s and the purposeful breaking of his carefully thought out rules.

•He deals with bratty teens all day, what makes you think he has the patience to deal with another brat at HOME? Nah.

•What he enjoys most about your near worshipful levels of obedience and submission is the level of respect you display to him. How much you truly want to please him and impress him. He finds it equally endearing and entertaining.

• You memorized every single one of his rules, every position, every expectation that he had of you, and you never failed to preform beautifully. He would never expect PERFECTION from a partner, per say, he’s perfectly lenient when and if you make an honest mistake, but he tells you all the time how perfect you are for him. He’ll tell you how much he loves the lengths at which you’ll go to please him.

• This man LIVES to tease you about how obedient you are, almost daring you to step out of line. You never take the bait though, you just get adorably embarrassed and pout at him while he teases you more. “Awe, what is it kitten? You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you like it when I tease you.” as he drags his thumb across your lower lip while it trembles, the deep bass of his voice reverebrating through your skull and turning you to mush.

•He layers the praise on THICK when you’ve earned it. Once he’s had his fun tormenting and teasing and edging you, he will fuck you slowly and deeply, agonizingly, and he will tell you what a good little slut you are for his cock and it’s ages before you realize that he’s prolonging your torture by fucking you this way and saying these things to you. He wants to see how far he can push you before you either break down into a pitiful mess of tears and pleas, or if maybe ther IS a needy little brat in there just waiting to come out. It’s always the former though, and he always loves getting you to that point. You’d do anything for him, and he knows it. He gets just a little high on it.

-Bakugou-

•Mans wrote the BOOK on hero worship, and he expects you to worship.

•Pro-hero Dynamight expects nothing but perfection, and he expects you to measure up. He can tell a brat from a mile away, and I genuinely think he actively avoids them. He’s enough of a brat to for both of you anyway lmao

•I hope you like pain, because he’s the type to inflict it for fun and not just for punishment. A true sadist for the truest masochist.

•If you ever talked to Bakugou about your fear of being boring to him, I really hope you’re prepared for the consequences. “What??? You think if you were just some boring shitty extra that I’d honestly waste any time on you? Do you really think I’m that stupid???” Its all in an attempt to reassure you, but he will spend the rest of the night punishing you for thinking so lowly of yourself.

•No matter HOW good you seem to be, getting a praise out of this man is damn near IMPOSSIBLE, even when he IS pleased with you. Getting him to verbalize anything he’s happy about is a struggle, so you start to look for the subtle signs. You notice his hands trail lightly down your back when you handle the paddle better than the night before. The way he brushes your hair out of your face when he’s roughly fucking into you after a particularly frustrating day of hero work, and you don’t even bat an eye at his brutality. The soft smile you almost miss when you KNOW he’s had a rough day at work and meet him at the door, already on your knees in one of his favorite outfits and with dinner already cooking away on the stove. Sure, he usually cooks, but when all he has to do is come home and have you... He’s damn near ready to propose every time you do it because you are just. So. Good to him. Good for him. And on those days, when you’re both showered and warm in bed and he’s stroking your hair and half asleep, you can hear faint praises fall from his lips. You know he means them everyday, but it’s on these days when his stress is melted away completely by your touch and your love and he’s so filled with contentment and just by being with you that his heart and mind are relaxed enough to let a little vulnerability show. As a treat.

• He never thought he would feel like this about anyone. Never thought that anyone would ever measure up to his impossible standards, but you take all his gruffness in stride and throw it back at him by being warm and loving, following all of his rules, doing everything you can to make him happy, and treating him like a god. He can’t think of anything better than spending the rest of his life with you.

[googoojeu]

enhypen as people i know from school !

a/n: this wasn't too hard to make since i low-key know a lot of people in my school lol. hope you guys enjoy this one! :D this wasn't proofread so i think there are typos down there 😭

— :: lowercase intended !

lee heeseung !

heeseung reminds me of the boy scout leader in my school lol

he's responsible, talented, funny and friendly (low-key had a crush on him for like two months 😭)

he helped one time when i was struggling with girl scout duties (yiE)

im pretty sure if hee was a boy scout, he'd do the same

ALSO ALSO ALSO

BOTH DUDES ARE SO TALL LIKE HOW

both are also vvv attractive people so 😳

down side is, both are clumsy people rip

nevertheless, hee just reminds me so much of him 😭

jay park !

jay reminds me of my bestie lol

both are good looking people with motherly instincts and VERY FASHIONABLE OH YES

sometimes, she scolds me for being lazy and being late everytime bye 😭

jay nags a lot so yeah,,, BOTH PEOPLE NAG A LOT

both people are also,,, idk like reserved??? they know when to speak up and when to shut up

BUT

IT'S OVER WHEN THEY START SCREAMING

that one time we went to a mall at eight pm and then we realized that the bus alr left so our last option was to walk and the bich had the audacity to scream at my ear 😭💀

BUT

they're both lovable people

i can't live without her byE

i love her so much

jake sim !

OKAY

JAKE REMINDS ME OF MY OLD AUSSIE CLASSMATE NO CAP

like both reminds me of dogs lol 💀

AND BOTH ARE ICONS OF GROWTH

i remembered when he (my aussie friend) moved to our school, he couldn't speak proper bisaya??? (yes im filo and yes im cebuano) now he speaks it so fluently. also curses at me in bisaya bye 😭

ALSO VVVV GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE???

both are also very talented like???? SPARE ME SOME PLS????

ALSO THEIR VOICES IM 🕴️ BOTH HAVE HONEY VOICES I DIE

both are intellectuals, like where do you get those braincells tbh

overall sweethearts even tho my aussie friend broke my heart lol (dude left me on read when i asked if they went swimming, they did and didn't ask me if i wanted to join them😔)

park sunghoon !

hoonie reminds me of my twice obsessed friend

i've known him since freshman year and he's pretty popular in my school (low-key proud we're friends lmao😭)

like hoonie, they're both reserved people??

like,,,,,,,,,,,, both feel like they aren't introverts but at the same time they are????

like yk sunghoon, he's a loud introvert, so is my bestie,,,

both are very good looking people too 😳😳 BOTH LITERALLY HAVE GREEK GOD FEATURES I— *faints*

downside is, both are EXTREMELY SHY

i mean,,, even if they're shy they still both look good 😔

also both of them are so kind, dependable, talented, amazing people

if sunghoon has jake, my friend has his seatmate since freshman year lmao (both are inseparable it's funny)

basically, both dudes have similarities, i sob

kim sunoo !

SUNNY !!

reminds me of my bestie

FLUFFY PEOPLE WITH CHUBBY CHEEKS

TOO MUCH AEGYO !!!!!!!!!!!

literally could go on how much cute these two are

this bestie is also twice obsessed bye 😭😭 LITERALLY HEAD OVER HEELS FOR NAYEON

both have good husky voices, good with girl group dances and???? DON'T GET ME STARTED WITH THEIR HUMOR

why does it feel like sunoo uses memes to communicate

idk lol

both are talented people too i luv

good tiktokers 🏃🏻‍♀️

idk i feel like if these two met,,, THEY'D BE INSTANT FRIENDS??? IDK 😭

also this bestie knows how much i simp for sunoo lmao (hi edz ily)

yang jungwon !

okay no doubt, jungwon reminds me of my old class leader (we're not classmates anymore rip)

dude's got the leadership skills

also both are really talented people, LIKE?? SPARE ME SOME PLS

i've known our class leader since freshman year too, and dude has a low-key grudge on me for buying the wrong hairspray 💀

nevertheless, both are dependable and intelligent people

dude has helped me a lot in the four years i've known him

despite his young age, jungwon is such a kind and dependable kid (and im only a year older 💀)

their humor too 💀 jungwon likes teasing his hyungs, esp jay

THIS DUDE LIKES TO TEASE ME ABT MY CRUSHES 💀💀💀💀💀 like it's been two years, pls stop saying i like daven

anyways, both are really cool people, i wanna be like them HIGH-KEY

ni-ki !

ni-ki reminds me of this AMAZING dancer in our school

(i mean there's a lot of great dancers in my school, just this one person sticks out than the rest)

i've known her since my freshman year and recently we became classmates again woop woop!

she's also vvvvv nice !!!!!

just like ni-ki, mtf is loud asf 💀

also has the tendency to do whatever she wants to do #queentingz

ALSO DID I MENTION THEY'RE BOTH GREAT DANCERS?????

also very good looking person 😳 she looks like a bunny most of the time

both are born in 2005 to so ye

ALSO THIS PERSON IS SO DEAR TO ME 😭

also knows how much i adore enha lol

i can't live without her pt.2

i love her so much pt.2

anyways that's it! i hope you guys enjoyed this.... mess of a thing i did 😭

[thisdreamplace]

ashamed to say the 3D reflects our true inner reality, yes? my ENTIRE family has turned against me, after some atrocious conflicts in which they all ganged up on me nd judged me, name-calling, very hurtful things too, provoked me. i been dealing with some serious mental uh 'issues' on my own nd when this happend i was already on the verge of a breakdown nd the good news is while the conflict happened i kept telling myself theyre only reflecting me u can get thru it etc. Later i looked at the hard facts nd realised some of the hurtful things they said were my deep secret feelings abt myself. BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people? confronting one person vs whole family, why?! i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?

Part 2 is simply its been a week and theyve still been cold towards me as if I yelled AT THEM ABT THEIR PAINFUL 'tRuThS' in front of EVERYONE LMAOOO. At first if i was around we'd have dinner together while they'd all talk to each other like best friends aka sickeningly overly friendly while completely IGNORING me while i sat there. i could tolerate it. I WAS PISSED AT THEM TOO Now its too painful. They're having dinner without telling me, yesterday didnt leave enough food for me knowing i hadnt eaten, serve tea/snacks without my portion. i honestly feel so unspeakably trigered nd sad. worst is these things r reminding me of deep school memories when id feel excluded like this by other kids at parties or class activities nd its like im back there. anyway im glad i controled myself a bit nd didnt counter with horrid things abt them to THEM yet they think they can say the same to me. im so hurt rn i cant even tell u lol i was okay the whole week but now its too much,, ive been crying the whole day

thing is, ik this seems like 'im a victim oh noooo they ganged up on meee'. Nope its more like how do i change myself to change them?! u could say why not talk to them how they made u feel, except whenever ive defended myself in the past regarding hurtful things they/anyone in family did, the siblings/parents would say irritating things like: "oh so YOU'RE the one hurt? Oh thats right, its because YOU'RE right! yes, yes, you're always right. Forgive me for saying anything against the perfect person u are." Or one of them says: "You?! I hurt YOU? What about me? You don't care about me! So you think what ur doing is okay?" or "no, who do YOU think u are to tell ME what to do?" it just goes in circles like this! i dont deserve to hurt myself or do smth to myself even if they dont give a damn, even if years of silent suffering of the 'mEntAL pRoBlEms' (which my lovely parents have already told me is my fault years ago, hence why I NEVER show it to them, unless im crying too much then lol they just mock me, but idc abt THAT bcoz now ik i hav a right to let out my emotions)). i mean this is worse rjan usual. its kinda insane nd when guests come they start talking to me as if nothing's wrong then when they leave, they ignore me!

this whole twisted dynamics, feelijf left out nd helpless is ig some crazy assumptin from childhood of being alone nd unable to defend myself. plus when they argye with anyone, they become overly self-righteous nd over the years its clear they can only scream, blame the scapegoat and never talk abt serious matter like normal ppl. And yes, in the past when i bring this up, they like to reply with stuff like: "no YOU'RE the one who doesnt talk to US bla bla" like, when i do u just shut me down? have belittled my mental 'issues', mocked me when im at my worst, stabbed me with cruel silent treatments nd thinking its alright "bcoz of self-righteousness blegh". Or maybe i think its okay for them to punish me? or whatev? Like law says u get what u r. if these ~~~ keep doing this to me, im doubly ashamed to say this means im the one at fault?! i let this monster assunptin grow nd now idk what to do. the worst thing imo is how i failed to tell them,even if they ignored me in the past, how i feel when anything like this or a conflict happens nd none of them stand up for me, or at least are neutral to me. bcoz now if i do, they say nope, u dont care what we do, YOUR the shameless one :! so yeah they hav the advantage of 'numbwrs' while im too afraid to stand up for myself lol. btw they never apologize nd i suspect they expect ME to apologize to TYEM bcoz everything's already ruined bcoz of 'me'..... i give up on them, i really do, but my heart hurts. Either i harden my heart, nd save up to move out, OR i try to change my self or whatev assumptins i have. But how do i do that? i try afirming: "my familys so nice to me, im respected by them" but it feels so fake tears literally enter my eyes lol

firstly i want to say, thank you for coming here to vent and being open about your feelings. it’s so important sometimes to just let it all out, without holding back. so that way you can move forward more bravely, to create the life you truly want to experience. that being said, i am going to be completely honest with you here in hopes that perhaps it may inspire you and you will be ready to do what is needed for the life you truly want to experience.

“BUT my question is why the HELL cant they talk to me like normal people?” -> “i felt so small nd like an object, nd not a single person defended me. am i not a part of the family?” here is your question, and here is your answer. i think that being completely honest when venting your feelings can actually be so helpful, because if you read back what you have said, you will be able to clearly find the patterns that are creating your personal hell. FEELING IS THE SECRET. ASSUMPTIONS HARDEN INTO FACT. the true way you feel, becomes your experience. Feelings/assumptions/beliefs come first, and the experiences come second to confirm them. That’s all that’s happening here.

i am glad that you were able to keep your reactions to a minimum! that's wonderful and as many of us know, it can sometimes be hard to do in such hurtful circumstances. but you managed to do it, this shows just a small glimpse of the power you truly hold within. although emotionally you may feel out of control, there is still the choice to choose better for yourself which you demonstrated through your reaction to them. good for you!

the truth is, you acknowledge the victim mindset to seem like you’re not engulfed in it, but no, you’re still very clearly engulfed in it. as i have said before, you can’t be a VICTOR and feel bad about it. feeling bad about taking responsibility, about everyone is you pushed out, about any of these types of concepts automatically shows a victim mindset. talking to them won’t do anything, because there are no second causes. you could talk to them nicely, you could be the nicest person in the world. but you can’t pretend your way out of your inner world. your inner world is the one and only cause of your experiences. until you change the story you tell yourself, they will stay the same. this is a hard pill to swallow sometimes. and it can feel heavily, because it’s ultimately only you’re choice. they can’t change until you do. the heaviness of the situation may make it seem impossible to turn around, but that’s just an illusion. your emotional attachment to the situation makes it seem so real and hard to change, but no. that’s just an illusion too. however, it’s ultimately your choice. Do you want to take responsibility for your life, or do you want to keep being tossed around like your lost at sea, victim to the merciless angry waves? Because we always have a choice. No one chooses your inner world, you do. No one can go into your mind and decide things for you, that’s only your job.

you can harden your heart, but who would be the one who suffers more? It won’t be your family, i can assure you. it’ll only be you. by doing that, you keep that old story alive and therefore you keep experiencing it. you keep those stories alive that are desperately showing themselves to you, saying “LET US GO.” but you remain identified with those painful stories, so you grip onto them tight. you keep on thinking of possible reasons for their behavior, but you could just read your entire ask back to yourself and you’ll see every reason. your reactions, your beliefs about them, your emotional pain. its your refusal to let those things go, and focus on what you truly want that keeps you in this state and keeps them in this state. sure it’s painful to face the responsibility at first, but it’s not a blame game. thinking its about blame is just a misunderstanding of the teachings. it’s not about they’re so perfect and you’re so not, so you have to change your ways. it’s about this is how life works here. this is about... you can ONLY ever experience self. whatever is going on within, will be reflected in your outer world. it’s about how they can’t change, UNTIL YOU DO. so instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you have to decide to give yourself the gift of a wonderful life because you have that power too. you stop deciding they can be in control of your experience, and you decide your experience yourself.

to change your assumptions, stop trying to affirm over them and actually face what’s keeping you from believing in your desires. yeah, it’s going to be painful and uncomfortable. but you need to face the pain that you’re running away from, so that it can finally be released. you have to realize, it only stayed true because you believed it to be true. and if you are to live a life free from that story, and experience a more desirable story, then you must let the pain go. give yourself love and grace as you work through it, and know that there is a more beautiful side of life that awaits for you to accept it in.

No One To Change But Self

There is Nothing to Forgive

How to Sit with Your Triggers

give yourself the time you need, it's not race. the love that you wish to experience exists, allow it in. 💖

[gracefulweather]

here i am 😅😅😅 a whole 25 days since i answered the last ask convo we had sdajflkjdslfkjas i need to make it a resolution to answer in a timely manner !

i hope you had a great new year !! i just vibed...? i cannot even remember what i did what the heck 😭 my only resolution is to try LMAO (haha i want to continue my chinese studies and maybe like be more active) what about you? are you the type to make resolutions and stick to them?

i'm also gonna be celebrating the lunar new year with my fam in a few days too, so i'm excited for that !

also realized that i have in fact pulled an eric pc before ajsklfjsld 😭 i now have a little space on the side of my shelf that i have hung a few sunwoo pics and it's ...everything to me ANYWAYS !! i have a cute little ikea shelf for my albums, and i display some pcs but not many, and there's a tasty txt poster on my room door. i also have some lyric art prints around my room too ! omg you had the clear phone case, i love that for you ! sangyeon 🥺🥺🥺 what kind of case do you have now? do you have any shelves for kpop stuff in your room?

hm...it really depends. but for the past three smaus, i usually make most of it before posting it, just in case i change my mind about plot points or something. but for lovesick, i have only made about 5-6 parts ahead from where i'm posting ! but i totally get that too, i still don't even really know how lovesick is gonna end so hopefully i think of something before struggling later hahah and tysm for reading it and leaving comments they always make my day

waiT WHAT the same person who arranged their ost is the one who did the amazing stage ver. and rock ver.??? HELLO I LOVE THAT BUT I AM GOING TO SUFFER I JUST KNOW IT

yess !! that's the one ! our beloved summer is good, but personally, i find it kind of slow. i gotta watch more heheh

i need actor haknyeon right now. hahah i wish hyunjae got to do more with that drama, that scene where he gets his little bandaid ripped off of his face keeps playing in my head hahaha

bro EXACTLY fantasy plots are always insanely detailed like how??

i love hoon's hair sm, but i think he cut it again ? i forget hahah but also award shows are so hard to keep up with i sometimes go on twitter and there are like three hashtags trending for it lol

wait bestie do u live in canada??

i'm just really sad abt tbz members getting c*vid :( and they are getting so much hate for it? esp eric? for literally no reason im really about to fight someone i just want my boys to get better

ohh ty ty !! :D hahah wait that post is so accurate lol the year did go by so fast

hope ur doing well ily !! <3

LOL dw about it!! i'm not doing any better here 😅 ahh how was your lunar new year and vday!! i had a bunch of good food and way too many bubble teas HAHA

trying is a very good resolution LMAO i've given up on making them bc i get bored of things so fast, but like... exercising more would probably be a good thing 🤡 ooh how are your chinese studies going? i wish i could read more but i've kinda just... accepted that i'll only know how to speak and not be able to read/write much 😭

oooh eric pc 🤩 that sounds like such a cute collection tho?? and lyric art prints whaooo the aesthetic ✨ i don't really have much kpop stuff so they're kinda just in random spots in my room but i do have some pcs and a banner from a bts concert on my shelf!! and some... very old.... exo posters hanging around that have been up since 2013 :') ah i have a pretty pink case on my phone now! omg do you have a binder with those little slots for pcs LOL

oh i see, i've seen people basically make each part as they go but like... i'd be worried about if the pacing is off or if changes are needed or something 😭 hope lovesick won't be too much a struggle for you but if you ever need another perspective or like a brainstorming sesh, lmk!!

LMAO the way the ost is supposed to come out in feb but there's been no news on it yet..... hopefully soon :')

ohh you found our beloved summer slow? i was thinking it might be too angsty for my taste since chanhee cried and all LOL but idk if i'll watch... there's a fic collab i joined based on kdramas and someone's writing hyunjae based on our beloved summer so i'll probably read that and see 👀 but bestie did you watch all of us are dead? i thought it was pretty good, gotta wait for s2 now!!

oooh speaking of actor haknyeon, i went and watched the first season of goedam!! and it's horror but not that scary tho some parts were kinda gory/disturbing? idk what i was expecting but each ep was like an 8 minute short film, super short so hak's role will probably be really small 😭

hoon's hair is back to black!! 😍 omg i can imagine there would be so much to keep up with as a multi... ooh did you like treasure's comeback? i love the song 🥺

yes bestie canada!!! feels kinda strange now that moonbae are back bc like i'm seeing them post pics of all these nice places that i've been to LOL. worried about eric tho :(( he stopped the bday wishes and pms and just... ugh i hope he's doing okay :( but it's nice that they finally get a break

omgomg ok i'm on chapter 17 of arisa where this new girl is introduced and manabe just kinda... stole the phones from tsubasa... i'm amazed at how 15 year olds can even pull this off LMAOO. but yeah it's good so far and everyone is so sketchy?!?? i'm anticipating lots of twists in here 🧐

ahhH hope ur doing well too!! <3

[whentherewerebicycles]

I've seen you talk abt the youthsss and black and white morality before & it made me think, because (I think?) you teach college, & I feel like I wasn't really able to start grasping actually messy/complicated realities until I had graduated and lived in the world a bit longer. I think the internet has led lots of young people to really strong verbiage around things and by nature of being young and starting to have stronger convictions I think it gets mobilized as a more binary yes/no response that they're encouraged to champion. idk if it's any consolation (or if u even want consolation!) but I really felt like I changed most dramatically in the few years after college when I left the bubble. you're doing important work to help kids break out of it sooner tho!!! I just want to add some hope that so much of it is sort of age related or development in my own experience. luv all ur thoughts on this stuff as always!

oh for sure!! I think you’ve articulated it so well here. it’s absolutely a phase in people’s lives where we are so unshakably confident in our convictions—probably because underneath we are so unsure of who we are and are doing SO much grappling with those big questions of: what kind of person am I? what do I believe? who do I want to surround myself with? who am I away from my family/hometown for the first time (both both physically away but also emotionally trying to disentangle yourself from your upbringing)? I feel like it’s such an emotionally tumultuous time and in many ways such a scary time, because a lot of our bedrock certainties about the world and ourselves are being challenged for the first time, and we’re going through a new stage in the painful, messy, exhilarating-but-terrifying process of individuation.

I was talking about this with my best friend (who is a high school teacher), and we were discussing how one of the strange things about teaching the same age group for a long time is that you don’t get to see any of the growth that happens after that life phase. and then you also see that very specific life phase over and over and over again, with each year bringing you a fresh new crop of kids who are going through the same phase as the last group. I think for me that can create this false impression in my mind that nobody is growing at all—they’re all just cycling through the same conflicts and getting stuck in the same stubborn black-and-white certainties over and over again. I’m not sure I’m articulating that well, but when I’m feeling cranky or ungenerous my feeling is kind of like, “oh my god, they never change!!! they never grow!!!” which is unfair to kids, lol, because it’s not their fault that I’ve seen ten years of kids go through the same cycle! for me it’s the tenth time but for them it’s all brand new! it’s why I sometimes wonder if it would be good to move around more between age groups, just to give myself a deeper understanding of how the self evolves through these different life stages. when I only look at my tiny little slice of people’s lifecycles it’s easy to get stuck in the same black-and-white certainties that often frustrate me in the kids I teach, lol.

I also just think maybe I can work on deepening my empathy and compassion for kids, too—like prioritizing empathy and curiosity in the way I narrate my classroom experiences to myself and others, and also practicing that savoring mindset of just, like, consciously noticing and taking time to value those little moments where you see a spark of growth, or where you can feel a kid really genuinely (and courageously!) trying to grapple with complexity without falling back on easy but reductive certainties. because those moments absolutely happen all the time, but my perception of what is happening and the story I tell myself about it is shaped by what I pay attention to, and it can be easier (but lazier/less honest) to pay attention only to the negative or the frustrating aspects. anyway this is all to say: this was a very good ask, and it’s giving me some things to think about!!

[fangirl-erdariel]

So I got like all of three people interested but that's abt all the prompting I need anyway 😂

So. Yeah. Chosen Ones. The Call of Destiny, the Call to Adventure.

Pretty much every Chosen One gets it, that's how you know they're Chosen Ones (ok granted there are chosen ones who first sorta accidentally end up involved in an adventure and only later on discover it was their Destiny all along. But that's not what I'm talking about here). Usually it comes either in the form of someone really just handing them a sword and telling them they gotta do stuff. Sometimes it's a bit more complicated. In Heralds of Valdemar books it typically involves a white magic horse walking up to the main character, introdicing themself, and saying they Choose the main character. Or possibly tricking their Chosen into getting on their back and then getting them into a situation where they can't really just say no. But yeah, in general, it's very hard to say no to an intelligent magic horse that really, really wants you to do something, when an unbreakable bond of love and trust is born almost from the moment you first look into the horse's eyes.

Either way, the Chosen Ones fairly often refuse their Destiny at first. Not always, and with some heroes it might work better with them accepting it right away, but fairly often, probably more often than not but I can't say for sure, they try to refuse it at first.

Why, in-universe, do they refuse? The common reasons are all more or less selfless; fear, feeling that they're not good enough and someone else would do it better, or some conflicting obligation they wish to fulfill first. The conflicting obligation is somewhat rarer than the other two, but not unheard of; for example Luke Skywalker in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope refuses at first to go with Obi-Wan to Alderaan not because he doesn't want to, but because he feels Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru need his help around the farm and he should not leave them, no matter how much he wants to become a pilot or something instead.

Now, I admit, you could call fear or feeling of not being good enough selfish reasons, but for this I feel they're at least somewhat selfless. Because when the Thing they gotta do requires a Chosen One, it's automatically very important. The fate of the entire world may be at stake. So fear and feeling they're not good enough are reasons based on acknowledging the importance of the task they're given and how bad things would go should they fail, and not wanting to fail. On the other hand, what I mean here when I say "selfish", is indifference to the task they're given, refusal either because they don't feel like it or because it would require giving up something they don't want to give up.

But what about refusing for a completely selfish reason? That's a lot more rare. Of course the reason probably is that it may be more difficult to make the hero change their mind, and it also portrays them in a far less pretty and perfect light than the aforementioned reasons.

In fact, there's only one work of fiction I can recall right now that has the hero refuse for a reason that can only be called selfish. There are certainly more out there, no work of fiction is that unique, but that's the only one that comes to mind right now.

That work is a show called Robin of Sherwood. Now, the show doesn't have much of a fandom, so I'll give a brief summary of it here. Robin of Sherwood was a British fantasy tv show that ran for three seasons in 1984-1986. The show was based on Robin Hood, but there were fantasy elements added into it that do not exist in traditional versions of Robin Hood.

One of those fantasy elements was that Robin was Herne's Son, a Chosen One of the pagan god/forest spirit Herne the Hunter. This decision turned out to work for the show makers' favor when the original actor of Robin left the show, as it allowed them to kill of the previous Robin and have Herne choose a new Son. As a result, the show has two rather different characters both doing the part of Robin Hood, stealing from the rich, inconveniencing Prince/King John, annoying the hell out of the Sheriff of Nottingham, and fighting for the poor and oppressed people.

Now the first Robin, Robin of Loxley, being Chosen goes fairly traditionally; he's slightly hesistant about accepting the call but does so fairly quickly anyway. By the time his home is destroyed and his adoptive parents murdered, he's already accepted his Destiny and ready and willing to do Herne's bidding. I'll return to him later, but first I want to get to the point and bring up the second Robin.

The second Robin is actually called Robert of Huntingdon, and he is a nobleman of a powerful and high-ranking family; he's the son and heir of the Earl of Huntingdon, and nephew of the King of Scotland. Herne chooses him immediately after the first Robin dies, perhaps even a little sooner given how quickly he's able to go to the outlaws' rescue. When Herne chooses him, he does agree to help a little; he saves the captured outlaws who would otherwise have been executed. But that is something he can do quickly, with little risk to himself. When it comes down to it, he still refuses to truly become Herne's Son.

And there's no fear or humility or claims of not being good enough behind him not refusing. One might argue that being the heir of the Earl of Huntingdon means conflicting loyalties/obligations, but the show does not frame his choice in a way that seems to make it about that. What he says to Herne when refusing is more or less "The outlaws are safe, I've done enough, I'm not doing anything more for you." He refuses simply because he's not interested in the job, and though it's not stated aloud, possibly also because accepting that destiny would be giving up all the comfort and priviledges he has and exchanging them for a very hard and dangerous life as an outlaw.

His eventual acceptance of the Call is because of equally selfish reasons; he meets Marion at a party and decides she's hot. When she's abducted soon afterwards, he decides to go to the rescue, and as his father would not accept the attempt, he goes to get help from Herne and gathers up those Outlaws he can find to aid him in her rescue. Granted, his reasons for rescuing Marion are not solely "she hot". There's arguably also general outrage at her being abducted and forced into marrying like that, as well as guilt over having endangered her by defending her earlier in the party from the person who eventually abducted her, and I think he would feel those things even had the abducted person been someone he didn't find attractive. But I feel like him liking her and wanting to be together with her also played a major part, and it may be that without that he would not have had strong enough feelings about the matter to go to her rescue (or at least he would not have gone so quickly and rashly, but instead taken his time considering whether it was worth it or not, and planning and preparing). I think that only after accepting his destiny, Robert starts truly caring about the things he as Herne's Son fights for strongly enough to actually fight for them.

And it works. It works, I dare say, better than any othrr reason for refusal. Robert has lived a very priviledged life, and the reasons Robin Hood fights are... not really matters that would ever have affected his life. He has little to fear from the nobility, as he is one of them. He hasn't faced oppression. He hasn't experienced poverty. He hasn't had to choose between stealing or poaching and starving. He may well have at some point noticed it happens, maybe felt somewhat bad about it, but they are not matters that would intimately concern him.

So why would he even give up all his priviledges, all the ease and comfort of his life, to fight for things that would never concern him if he stays a nobleman? A hero who cares that deeply would of course be admirable, but let's be real. Damn few people in real life would be willing to give up that much. Good people living priviledged lives might sacrifice a bit, do things that slightly inconvenience them or take a little away from what they have, but giving up absolutely everything? I don't think many people would. And honestly, taking that into account, having Robert refuse simply because he does not want that kind of life adds more depth to the character than a more traditional refusal would have had. It makes him seem less of an impossibly perfect hero, but all things considered, it does not make him seem too terribly selfish to ever be a hero, either.

In comparison, for Robin of Loxely in RoS the quick unquestioning acceptance of his new position works perfectly. He's already an outlaw when he first meets Herne; he has nothing to lose by agreeing. He's lived his entire life witnessing the immediate effects of oppression all around him, so the fight is instantly personal to him even before he starts fighting it for Herne.

So, yeah. I guess my point here, if I have any, is that different characters should respond differently to becoming the Chosen One, and if you write that kind of stories, it will be worth it to consider whether one of the stock responses works well (because it definitely might!) or whether you should think outside the most common ones for a bit.