domokunrainbowkinz · 10 months ago
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It’s always “ily” and never “itiigymhywtit”
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songsofadelaide · 5 months ago
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Hey!! just wanna say ive been obsessed w ur works and was wondering if u can do a hoshina drabble/ fic based on P1harmony’s Fall in Love Again (aaaaa pref if past/present can be soichiro & hoshina orrr narumi & hoshina) hust an idea that popped in my mind cause the song kept showing up in my fyp!! thank u so muchh!!
Anon you and your big brain! 🤩 I'll have you know I love the angst between the Hoshina brothers so I might as well! Since you've given me the idea. ✨
✧ Fall In Love Again - P1Harmony
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candor — another side story to radiant point. | refulgence
There was a time when you thought of Soichiro as your first love. There was a time when you thought he would turn your way.
After being fed the fairy tale of true love time and again and having eaten of it until its flavours were bland in your mouth, you soon came to realise that all you were fed was false hope. Soichiro was his family's ultimate incarnation, while you were but a paltry offering by yours. Though paltry you were, you were all your family had. Your beauty was their pride and joy, but it certainly wasn't enough to win the heart of your supposed betrothed.
As you grew up alongside the Hoshina brothers, it became clearer to you that it would have made more sense to have been offered to the second son instead. Not only were you two closer in age, but you also shared a deeper friendship with him— the kind that made you forget all about the existence of his older brother, and what his existence meant for your own.
Soichiro did turn your way. Only you were too preoccupied to notice.
The older boy was evidently surprised at how you were able to hold yourself against him during one of your sparring sessions. It had only been a matter of months since you started swordsmanship training under your father but you had a mastery of the basics now and even had a certain flair for precision. But regardless of your exponential growth, you were still outclassed by him, and he toppled over you as easily as kicking a potted plant to the ground.
"Nice try, beggar princess. Let me tell ya somethin' while we're here," Soichiro stated as he turned his back on you. "You're leavin' yourself wide open in other areas, but other than that, your stance is perfect."
He didn't want to admit that there was a beauty in your ferocity, too. Not with his little brother watching you both so intently. He'll settle with berating you until you've had enough. It's not like you were going anywhere, anyway. As far as he knew, his family owned you now.
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That time you thought of Soichiro as your first love was a joke.
It was only because you fed into your family's narrative that a daughter like you needed a husband like him. As you grew older, the prospects of him ever becoming a tolerable husband dimmed by the day. He acknowledged your skill now, but he was still an awful person at the end of the day. Awful in that he had no sense of delicacy at all, even when it came to you, who was supposed to be his wife in the future.
Now that you were sixteen, the fairy tale was over, or the curse had been lifted, and you finally decided for yourself that you wanted no part in Soichiro's plans for you in the future, whatever those may be.
So you did what he thought you would never have the courage to do.
"I thank you and your family for your kindness to me, and I apologise, oji-san, but I don't want to marry Soichiro-san," you stated as you prostrated yourself before the Hoshina patriarch. "As much as I would have loved to be part of your family, Soichiro-san's attitude leaves much to be desired."
Was he hearing things right? He was the one who had attitude problems?
Soichiro sat there in complete shock at your declaration, but Soshiro was even more surprised at it unfolding. Their father didn't look too nonplussed by your statement. He knew that his eldest son was a little devil who thrived in discouraging both you and his younger brother, only for you to show him results time and again.
He also knew that Soshiro challenged his older brother for your hand, not just once, but more times than he can remember. Perhaps he can turn you around once more by opening a simple possibility. "Is there nothing that can change your mind? Your family agreed to an engagement, after all."
"I..."
I want Soshiro.
But you couldn't say it. You were in no position to make any demands even if they were freely offered to you. And what would Soshiro say about that? He was more than happy to be your friend, but would he ever accept you as his bride?
No, you've done enough dreaming for the last ten years.
"I'm afraid not, oji-san."
It was only when you left their estate that the brothers spoke once more until it eventually evolved into another duel— like the wild beasts that they were.
"You should have said something back then!" Soichiro exclaimed between his slashes and parries. "Why didn't you ask her and tell her to stay? That you would have treated her better than I ever would? I mean, you already do, but—"
"Are you kidding?! You already ran her out of the family! She already made it clear that she wants nothing to do with us! What makes you think she'd want to stay here?!" Soshiro shot back at him, mirroring his speed and movements until they were all but a single blur of swords and wind.
This blockhead second son knew nothing, of course. Soichiro was annoyed beyond sense at how dense his little brother was. Was he the only one who saw the smile that lit your face every time Soshiro welcomed you to their estate? Was he the only one who noticed how sweet your laughter sounded when it was Soshiro at the other end of the joke? Or how you once said in confidence that you preferred Soshiro's presence over his own because he was unbearable to be with, even though it was all his doing?
Soichiro got his just deserts and it annoyed him to no end. Because once more, he faced the prospect of being second best to his little brother, who grew in strength and skill with each passing day and even managed to win your heart all the same.
"Hgk—!"
But it was his brother's blade on his neck now. Soshiro got the one-up against him without any handicaps this time. His usually boisterous little brother withdrew his sword and quietly stared down at him. Soshiro did not look at him with a sense of superiority, but that of revulsion. The very same emotion in your eyes when you bade him farewell that day.
"I'm going to ask for her in my own time. You better not get in my way when that happens."
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Your promotion to Third Division Platoon Leader was met with quiet celebration. Many of your fellow team members rejoiced in the opportunity to work under you this time as their leader. You were known to give out measured and concise orders that allowed every single one of them to seamlessly weave through the field and get the job done with minimum risks and casualties.
When Captain Ashiro congratulated you and presented you with your badge in her office, she let you in on a little secret only she and a handful of other superior officers were aware of. "When you first took the exams, you received a commendation from Captain Hoshina Soichiro of the Sixth Division."
Huh. You heard her right once. "I did not know that."
Captain Hoshina Soichiro of the Sixth Division vouched for your skills. If this was his way of making amends for his terrible treatment of you in the past, it was a pretty gesture, but still far too late.
"In his recommendation, he detailed how your family was a close associate of theirs and how you learned swordsmanship alongside him and our Vice Captain."
"That's true, Captain. Much of my skill was honed under their roof."
"If you don't mind me asking, why did you suddenly shift from Kendo to Fencing?"
Your Captain's question elicited a small laugh from your lips. "You might think it a petty reason, Captain, but I changed sword arms just so I could be better than them at something."
You gently touched the shiny new badge clipped to the collar of your formal regalia. "Soshiro... I mean Vice Captain Hoshina is someone I looked up to very much when we were children. If I may be so bold to say that he inspired me to take up swordsmanship."
"Hmm. I see," came Mina's short but understanding reply to you. "Just as Hoshina is important to me on the battlefield, I'll also be counting on you to carve open a path for me and everyone else."
"Of course, Captain, ma'am!" You said resolutely, followed by a crisp salute that matched the sharpness of your outfit today.
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"Will you marry me?"
Soshiro asked you that question in the dead quiet of the night as he held you close in his arms. The silence of your quarters and the stillness of the rest of the base made it feel like you were the only two people in the world.
"Yes," you said with a small swallow of saliva to wet your mouth. "As long as you aren't gonna be like your brother."
"I'm nothin' like him now, am I?" He chuckled at your assumption. "If I wanted to be like him, I would've chased you out of our home the moment I saw ya."
"Mm. I suppose you're right about that," you nodded at him. You contentedly sank into his touch when he moved to cup your warm cheek in his hand. "You're nothing like him at all."
"Good to know. That's high praise comin' from you."
As another comfortable silence lingered over your tired figures, a memory of the past crossed your mind. "Do you remember that time I told your father I didn't want to marry your brother?"
That day was one he would never forget any time soon. "As clear as day."
"I nearly begged for you instead," you told him with a soft laugh.
"You should have. I would've been there beggin' right next to ya!"
"In the end, everything worked out for this beggar princess," you said with a small sigh. "Gosh, I still can't imagine myself as your brother's wife. It kinda gives me the creeps."
A bout of tender laughter left Soshiro's lips this time. He raised your hand to his face and pressed a soft kiss on your palms, near the range of calluses you had from gripping your sabre. "You don't have to imagine anything other than our future together."
You mirrored his actions and planted a similarly gentle kiss on his cold knuckles, your breath blooming warmth into his fingers. He weaved his fingers into yours, as though sharing that little glow with you "Of course. For as long as we're fighting for it."
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✦ Thank you for requesting! Nothing makes me happier than writing a request I know I can work with. 🍹 You can read more about requesting here
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chouettecrivaine · 1 year ago
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Ah, Young Love! [Our Life: Now & Forever]
Fandom: Our Life: Now & Forever
Characters: Qiu Lin, Tamarack Baumann
Notes: takes place during Step 1, so he/him is used for Qiu as that is how he identifies at this point in the story!
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So anyway I'm obsessed with how everybody wants Qiu but Qiu only has eyes for MC once they meet so I'm thinking about his silly little boyhood crush. And then I couldn't leave best girl Tamarack out of the love fest so here's just a few little things I was thinking about with them having childhood crushes on u <3
Note that only the demo is publicly available and I am not currently a patron so anything here that is proven true is coincidence and anything proven false is just me having a little fun
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Qiu Lin
So like. I've seen Qiu call you pretty twice in the demo. Once when you meet him if you choose to call him pretty first, and again towards the end of what's available in the demo when he's listing off reasons why you should be allowed to join the club..
I just think that whenever he talks about you he always has to let it slip that he thinks you're cute. "They had on a really nice hair clip today!" "Their hair looked so cute when they took off their hat at school." "When I picked them up to walk to school, I was so surprised at how pretty they looked!"
When he told his parents about you he probably said "this really pretty kid surprised me in our yard and we went on a miniature adventure!"
Also (and note that my MC uses she/her so im gonna quote him using gendered terms but only for this one instance) When he's introducing you to one of his friends, he starts off with your name and says "she's a girl!" (Or whatever terms you have set)
So I just think he says the most basic facts about you with so much awe and wonder 🥺 like you wore overalls to school? He talks like you invented denim. You had a funny comment or joke? It's like he's never heard one before in his life when he retells it.
I feel like…the first thing that makes him interested in you is that you're new. Not only does this make you fun to mess with, but it makes you far more interesting than the people he's known his whole life. Plus you, unlike Tamarack, don't immediately brush off the cool things he wants to show you or do with you if it isn't immediately your cup of tea.
Darren and Baxter are sick and tired of hearing your name !! If you're not around Qiu wonders aloud at least once if he should or should've invite(d) you. If he did invite you and you had to decline, then he wonders what you're doing.
The type of kid to skip out on his weekend chores at home and go to your house to help you unpack instead
Ok so MC says they used to live in an apartment, right? Probably in the city? And MC was only allowed to play on their own because Golden Grove is "a safe neighborhood?" What if MC doesn't know how to ride a bike. What if Qiu teaches them…
Whether you get a hang of it or not, he daydreams about doing that thing where he rides the bike and you sit backwards on the seat or on the handlebars or something
When he finds out you can't ride a bike, he definitely shows off by riding around without his hands on the handlebars.
Will teach you how to jump off the swing set too, then will have competitions over who can swing the highest and leap the farthest
I feel like Golden Grove has a cute little main street with a bunch of locally owned shops. If you're interested, he'll show you every. single. business. Even if most of them are "granny shops" he isn't interested in. He'll let you poke around for a bit :)
He has a special page in his notebook for all the little notes and doodles about you
If you look closely at the note he gives you after class, you can see the remnants of a few tiny little hearts that he erased!!
Going back to him offering you to ride on his bike: he probably got you in trouble once because you were on your front lawn and he rode up asking you to go on an adventure with him on his bike. You're expecting a fun little 20 min ride through the walkable path in the woods that'll have you back home by dinner. Instead he takes you to town and buys you ice cream and the two of you have to struggle your way back up the hill on foot and it takes like an hour and a half to get back and your mom was worried SICK
Buys a pack of pens with one/some of your favorite color(s) and writes you notes exclusively in that/those ink(s)
If you and your mom go somewhere and he knocks on your door while you're out, you will come home to see him sitting on the steps to your front porch and waiting for you
Before class starts, he always gives you a funny face or a wave. If you come in late because of a doctor's appointment or something, naturally a lot of the kids turn to look at your entrance, and he immediately waves at you. Maybe even says hi to you out loud if he knows Mrs. Murray is in a good mood / he can get away with it.
If he finishes his work early or something, he'll turn around in his seat and just watch you from across the room with major heart eyes. He smiles wider and waves when you notice.
Anything you compliment him on, he immediately draws attention to around others. Say his hair looks good today? He'll hit you with a "oh but not every other day?" but then tell his seatmates about what you said.
Buys extra portions of his little snack bags of chips and candy or whatever he likes when he can so that he can give them to you during lunch.
Gets on a kick and will pester you about having a secret handshake until you let him come up with one. He likes having special things just you and him 🥺
Probably invites you to his hideout at a specific time and day every week and he gets soooooo excited for that time to roll around.
Tries extra hard in your favorite subject, even if it's one he hates. He's not trying to be top of the class, but he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care about something you care about!
If you like a class he's terrible at, he'll ask for your help! Or, if you struggle in a class he's good at, he'll volunteer to help you out even though he HATES the concept of doing extra schoolwork. That's how much he likes u
He'll do this with any windows but especially if one of your bedroom windows faces his: he will definitely pull a Taylor Swift in "You Belong With Me" and write notes for you guys to read to each other
Since he can't sit with you, he'll write you notes or make you doodles and then pretend he has to get up to sharpen his pencil so he can pass your desk and slip it to you
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Tamarack Baumann
Tamarack will straight up just stare at you 👁👁
She follows you around like a lost puppy and visibly brightens up when you're around
Looks forward to school because she gets to sit next to you all day! Like she'll skip happily along the path with you and Qiu and you'll ask her if she's looking forward to all these things and she'll just go "No!" and when you finally give up and ask why she says "because I get to spend the whole day next to you!"
When she goes to play in the woods, sometimes she'll spend a while in the shallower end of the tree line waiting to see if you'll come outside and play with her
Has definitely thrown sticks and pebbles at your back door to lure you out before she gets bored
Likes to go around and pick up the coolest rock, the prettiest flower, the biggest piece of tree bark, a leaf the size of her head…then before she goes home for the night, she stops by your house and gives what she picked up to you!!
If you're not home then she leaves it on your porch with a note, usually held down by a rock if it's not something heavy 
She'll be over the moon if you give her cool rocks and stuff you found. Even if you're literally giving her trash, like if you ONLY give her bottle caps or pop tabs you find on the sidewalk, she cherishes them. Would make jewelry out of them tbh
Ok so quick tangent but there's a book I read in about 4th grade called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, and in it the love interest girl is the quirky type. One thing she has is a little decorative cart on her dresser which she puts rocks in every time she's happy and takes rocks out when she's sad. When the protag goes to her house and finds out, she explains how she has put the most rocks in it since meeting him. They kiss sometime after that and she puts another rock in and tells him about it. I think Tamarack would have a jar or a doll house bathtub and she would do the same thing, putting rocks in it when she's happy! So what I'm saying is give her plenty of rocks so she can exclusively use MC rocks for that 
Also will make matching jewelry for the two of you without even stopping to think if you even wear what she's making. She'll buy kits to make special rings and headbands, braid a million friendship bracelets out of multicolored string, use acorns she found to make earrings…anything! She is just as happy if you wear it then she is if you buy a jewelry display stand and show them off in your room. Eventually she adds keychains into the mix for some variety
Doesn't mean to spend a lot of her time waiting on you but she does. On weekends, instead of going directly into the woods, she'll just lie on her back in her yard and stare up at the clouds, completely still, daydreaming (about you) until she hears your door opening. Then she runs to you.
If any of your windows are open, particularly your bedroom window, she'll send a bunch of paper airplanes your way. Most of them make it! However, you've learned that if you find even one paper airplane inside, you're going to have to check that side of the house for more scattered on the ground
Grips onto your arms or your clothes whenever she can. You two are connected.
Makes a BIG effort to like anything that you like as much as you do! And when she follows you around, it doesn't really matter if you're doing something she doesn't care about. She just wants to spend time with you! It does make her whole week if you follow her into the woods, though.
She doesn't take notes in class, but you leave a writing implement out for her and sometimes she'll reach over and doodle a cute bear or something on your paper :)
If you say you're cold, she'll give you her scarf, no questions asked. Is also down to share but don't let her do that while you're walking because it WILL end badly 
Has wrapped the scarf around the two of you and tied you guys together before and yes it was the best recess of her life 
When walking, she tends to lean into you which sometimes almost turns into pushing you and Qiu into the road if you're not careful
Likes to drag you around places and pretty quickly invites you to her house. She doesn't tell her grandparents that she's inviting you over, so they're surprised by you almost every time, but they don't mind! She's dragging you up the stairs to her room too quickly for them to say anything anyway
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lotusmi · 2 years ago
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The faith challenge <3
This is a small manifesting/void challenge I made for myself that helped me to manifest my dream life.
Aimed for people that overconsume or overcomplicate getting their desires.
Note: you know enough! you have overconsumed enough information. stop now, its time to finally get what you want!
If you overcomplicate things, you probably listen to subs for hours, affirm 10,000x every hour, etc. You view them as things you must do to get your desires. But remember, you are not doing this to get results in 3d, you are doing this to fulfil yourself inwardly. Its like you have your hair down and your looking in the mirror. You cannot change the hairstyle in the mirror, right? leave the mirror and change your hairstyle. (fulfill your desire inwards), and the mirror(3d) must reflect that.
The actual challenge:
Read/listen to edward art's though false lecture. ONCE. ONLY. ONCE!! aim to truly understand what he is saying. this lecture is all you need. After that, delete your tumblr. unsubscribe to manifestation ppl on youtube. no more information for u.
No affirmations, no subliminals, no scripting, no visualizing. (unless you're doing it just because it helps make you feel fulfilled. you dont have to do them!!! preferably stop all methods.)
you will write your own rules on a slip of paper. ex. 'my manifestions must come within 3 days because i said so and i make the rules', 'everything must always work in my favour'. keep it simple. it doesn't matter what anyone else said, make the rules however u want!
you will stick to those rules. you will just know that everything in your reality has to abide by your rules. do nothing else.
Wavering is fine. if you waver, no jumping back to tumblr to overconsume information. simply ask your inner self for confirmation. your inner self will always say 'yes u have ur desires!'
idc about your 3d. you are under no obligation to accept those circumstances as true, your imagination is the only true reality anyway. don't complain abt how bad ur circumstances are, because one well known blogger here grew up in in extremely abusive situation, was tossed from foster care to foster care, was searching for shelter at night because the abuse was too much. she wavered just like u. And yet, she did it! she changed her entire life. drastically. and you can too.
TLDR:
listen to edward art's though false lecture ONCE.
delete tumblr and all manifestation related stuff. do not do methods.
write your own rules
stick to them
fulfill urself inwardly only.
!!!success story + amazing challenge! oh, anon! You are amazing! 💐💌🌷
This ask is beautiful, this is so well done and the whole post is so well written, organized, and helpful! Omg, you are a real angel! I am so happy that you did it, and even more happy to receive an ask from someone kind like you, I appreciate you so much, I know this will help a lot of people. Congrats for your own journey and success! Please know that you are an amazing soul, and I wish you all the best and so much love, you deserve to live all the happiness! ...🌷💗
The Faith Challenge! <3
꒱This challenge is perfect for you that are overconsuming or overcomplicating the law and want to leave this cycle, manifesting your dream life! Everyone, let's appreciate this anon work! 𓆩♡𓆪
💐💐 those flowers are for you, my dear Faith anon!
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grif-hawaiian-rolls · 1 month ago
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Anyways the “essay” about the energy sword to character development pipeline below the cut
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Ok so like yea tucker-crunchbite-junior is, obviously, the first instance of the sword-quest-companion theme/trio that im like, rattling in my head rn
Tucker finds the sword, crunchbite shows up and theres the “quest” that challenges tucker both in the false intent (you need to be the hero) and the true intent (SA leading to Junior which is not handled well but it IS important) which is a push against tucker’s character thus far in that he’s the comic relief, make everything a sex joke archetype— he doesnt take it seriously, he doesnt see himself as important beyond getting just enough recognition to be “hot” and now he’s made to be the so called “hero” and the true plot puts him in the one position that he probably never thought could be him. Bc he wants to get laid so… yeah. Pushes his character if you give it like three seconds of critical thinking and not just the standard “haha alien baby bullshit” (that said, i do enjoy fics that explore crunchbite more and play with the potential of the “joke” shitty character into someone less sinister, but im doin my best to stick to canon rn)
And JUNIOR, oh man, because theres the thing that really solidifies this for me like
The dude who doesnt care doesnt bother is all jokes and ‘man whatever’ energy is a dad, and it starts with him trying to avoid it but he really fucking quickly steps the FUCK up for Junior and its the start of his development that people are like “oh he learns to be a leader on chorus” which i mean kinda yeah but he never struck me as a Leader even on Chorus even tho he does decidedly lead, its not the same as when kimball leads or when wash leads or carolina
He’s leads as a dad bc he is a dad
Not always a good one, but he’s trying and yea sometimes that means being the asshole, sometimes that means screwing up but it also means you fucking care and you take responsibility and you put yourself in danger first (the rescue mission, leaving the lieutenants behind)
And that doesnt start on chorus! Its the most evident there sure but
it starts with junior
It starts with him going after tex to protect his son, it starts with him trying to be a diplomat so they stay together, in sending junior away so he is safe while tucker buys time protecting the temple, it STARTS with him looking at church and going “leave my kid out of this” and yeah the way rvb was written and approached does Not take that seriously bc it wouldnt and if it did it would be a very different show but the implications are there and its acknowledged with tucker’s photograph of junior with his 5th grade basketball team (“i know right? Who carries actual pictures anymore” -tucker) which i could go on about THAT too but suffice to say its very clear that tucker cares so gd much about his kid and yeah his character development isnt super linear but you can basically pinpoint when it starts with the sword and junior
The second run of this trio of things is actually grif which is admittedly, a stretch, a big ol reaching for straws (okay, TECHNICALLY grif is the third run, but i’ll address that in a minute) largely a stretch bc grif… does the pattern backwards
This IS S16 stuff so if ur a shisno paradox hater i respect that, i however am gnawing on it with everything i have and will be going feral so this is your warning thank u for reading the tucker side of it mwah appreciate ya
Anyways
Grif does his plot backwards during timetravel shenanigans
He gets the alien companion/friend who contrasts his character first in Huggins
Grif is a loyal friend, but he is lazy, even after s15’s breakdown and apparent change of tune, he’s still looking to take the path of least resistance, avoiding the call, trying to keep things from moving
Enter Huggins: zippy, full of energy, excitable and just so different in that she is not only so proactive she puts herself in danger (which helps everyone in the long run/plot but its the principle) but shes so fucking lonely
As far as she knows, her family is dead, except for muggins who is so dettached from her, he might as well be a coworker and not her brother
Compared to grif, who has a family even when he tries to push them away (the reds, the blues, KAIKAINA) but hates taking action
Huggins is the start for grif’s arc of “it sucks but someones gotta do it” which in their case is best shown as the trudge across the bottom of the english channel which is so fucking funny to me but it really pushes both of them and puts them firmly in the friends category
Huggins cant zip ahead without grif, grif cant stop moving because huggins wont let him, so they find their little balance of gas vs brakes and together they cruise along p well
The actual push of the “quest” is grif having to be the one who steps up (kinda like tucker but its to the left) he’s the one who starts getting everyone together again across the timeline, even if he is very,,,
Well he’s very Grif about it, but it is still fundamentally, the change in character
Tucker isn’t a always good dad, Grif isn’t always a good instigator of action
But theyre trying and theyre working on it and grif’s arc suffers a Little from being so late in the show and thus not having much of a parallel to pull on but you could argue he gets the parallel from s15 anyways with the refusal of the call (from fake church/loco) and rescue mission but i hesitate to call that a parallel bc its literally back to back but an argument could be made for it which i love
Enter part two: the alien quest giver
“Wait wasnt that huggins”
NOPE huggins was alien companion! The Bestie in grif’s case,
The alien fetch quest comes from atlas, in that stupid wishing sequence but cmon it wouldnt be rvb if the character development wasnt sandwiched inbetween obnoxious gags and stupidity
The quest is less important here admittedly bc again, with grif doing this in reverse its not the challenge to his principle character that it was for tucker, his connection to huggins was the challenge, and this becomes the final push into the development, the “you have a role, now play it” that gives grif the final shove into Doing Things literal!! And his prize? For this character development arc? An alien sword
And thus the inverse version reaches an end, sort of (im pissed that technically he loses his sword, im also ignoring that he loses it in canon bc he fucking earned it okay this is a bit of canon i will ignore and loophole my way around it)
And now we track back to Chorus and to the second iteration of the sword-quest-companion plot
Locus
Now okay i will admit this is conjecture and pepe-silvia-on-corkboard-with-red-string fuckery at this point but hear me out okay!
He gets the sword with Felix’s death. We know this. What we dont know is how the fucking hell he gets off Chorus! We just see him show up later with A’rynasea. The vaguely alien (maybe sentient?? AI? Its implied with the way he addresses her but we literally have her for like two episodes) ship that seems to be the driving force (literal) (bc shes his ship) behind his chosen redemption arc where he pushes himself to help others at no apparent benefit to himself, but because it is, and i quote “the right thing to do”
Arguably, Santa could be Locus’ quest giver, seeing as how he is the one who triggers the whole shift in view for Locus in the first place and that is, technically, what crunchbite does and what atlas finalizes for grif! But the problem is we simply dont have enough of A’rynasea to draw the parallel between her and Locus as personalities, as companions for it to work for me??? But that might just be me overthinking? But it does make Locus’ version is a bit messier depending on who you consider his quest-giver but as far as I’m concerned, he’s still on his quest snd its just up to interpretation if A’rynasea is his companion?? or if theres a secret third alien for Locus that we never wouldve seen even if they planned for that bc its red vs blue and im just delusional about locus and his role in plot and this is just me firing concepts blindly into the sky at this point like - yeah i could still theorize what kind of companion characterization i think locus would work well with bc its more about the wielder than the companion in this sense (sorry junior and huggins i love yall i promise) but thats a completely separate rant at this point and not nearly coherent enough at this exact moment to add it PLUS its ridiculously self indulgent and only marginally canon compliant/adjacent but i will never not be amused by this very specific plot beat happening enough to draw these parallels, as tenuous and vague as the parallels are
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lyss-sketchbox · 1 year ago
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if u saw the new trailer whats ur opinion?
im very excited for skirk,,,,
OH BUDDY YOUVE OPENED THE FLOODGATES CUZ IVE BEEN SPAMMING MY FRIEND WITH THEORIES LIKE HFJDJDJDJ I WAS SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME
Obvious spoilers for the fontaine archon quest in general for my thoughts and interpretations
Okay FIRST OF ALL NEUVI SENTENCING FURINA TO DEATH.
Okay so refer to what neuvi said at the end of Act 4 where 'all sovereigns are not im full dragonhood and it can only happen IF THEIR ARCHON DISAPPEARS'. I was hoping that Furina would somehow relinquish the gnosis or her godhood to Neuvi to let him be full dragonhood and stop the flood and WELL THIS LINES UP.
1) arlecchino did say furina was not archon like or has something wrong with her, 2) her playable character model HAS A VISION!!!!!!! 3) Iirc but her promo art, the one with the white bg with nation symbols on it, people say that it didnt have the symbols an archon would.
She's DEFINITELY losing her godhood here somehow and man. MAN IM SO EXCITED TO SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT
Second of all FURINA or should i say the HYDRO ARCHON as a whole
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She sounded MAD when she stated she wanted to use her own trial to show the world the true meaning of justice. This leads me to believe that focalors DOES have some sort of multiple sides/personalities to her. Especially with her announcing HER OWN TRIAL through the 3rd person.
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And well one of these sides is either Egeria's manifestation or furinas actual 'TRUE lady justice' side. A bit of a stretch but one of the official art in the livestream is multiple depictions of furina so it can be a lil nudge ya know.
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NEUVILLETTE!!!! NEUVI NEUVI NEUVI!!!
MAN ID KILL TO SEE THIS MAN IN ACTION FULLY ANIMATED, LET HIM BE FULL DRAGON AND KICK ASS!!!!! IM BEGGING YOU HOYOVERSE LET HIM BE MORE AWESOME!!!!
Okay this man definitely was acquainted to Egeria in some way and this extends to Furina as well (BECAUSE HE LOOKS SO SAD LIKE WHAT HAPPENED TO CRACK THIS MANS FACADE). I like to believe that Egeria and Neuvi might have a sort of Mentor/mentee/passing of the torch relationship. Because in so far everytime we hear Egeria, she talks to neuvi as if to hope that he will learn to understand humanity or learn his purpose or find SOMETHING (i forgot exactly what she says). But yeah he clearly holds her to high regard and that sentiment might extend to furina either because Egeria entrusted Neuvi with Furina, his loyalty to Egeria and Fontaine, or Furina just reminded him of Egeria and regardless of the trial still didn't want harm to come to his archon.
Okay a step back, we know that neuvi has holes about his past when he came to the world as the sovereign successor. And his line (i think its his idk) 'i seem to remember now... this trial is...' could be a call back of something Egeria told him from the past.
I firmly believe that this prophecy was actually a trial for NEUVILLETTE and not FURINA. It could be a final trial for him and his understanding of his position as chief justice and humanity. WHICH would tie into Egeria's line
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and neuvi's line
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Finally the GNOSIS
Okay the most obvious place is in the Oratrice. I feel like because Egeria isn't truly dead (from the who Amrita thing), it's possible that she lives in the Oratrice where she guides Neuvi and Furina. That's why it seems like it has its own conciousness and agenda. It's why it falsely accused Childe (and presumably Furina too). It might be why neuvi i think says this.
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Anyways theres NO WAY the gnosis is staying in the oratrice lmao. There's bound to be a power transfer, the oratrice might be dead or dismantled because of its previous 'wrong' accusation for childe. And well im very much hoping it goes to Neuvi where he'll finally have his own meaning of Justice and no longer needs the assistance of the Oratrice to make judgements
I dont have much to say about Skirk, im most certainly looking forward to skirk childe interaction. Im guessing shes there at the abyss side either for the Narssizkruenz (fack spelling) ordo relation or well.. the gnosis. Im taking a random guess that she and the abyss might take away the gnosis to prevent celestia from descending early because fontaine is giving back the power they stole from a sovereign back to him.
ANYWAYS IM HYPED IM SO INSANE WAAAAAAAAAA
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bookbitchx · 5 months ago
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Hello again 😊 I knew i was gonna love chatting with u hehe
These are things that makes me wish anyone else would've written ACOTAR tbh. Her lack of planning and her retconning of characters so that she remains politically correct in current political climates is gross. It's been a pattern I've noticed, but it makes sense considering shes a zionist, but anyway 🥱
I do enjoy the world that she made and I think its an interesting concept to view a centuries old clusterfuck like the IC through a 20 yearold lense. But I wish it had a morsel of taste. Each of the books in this series left me wanting more, especially rereading as an adult.
So to compensate for the parts of the books I hate I just pretend its not upsetting me by psychoanalyzing the characters 😂 Rhys is one that I have a love/hate relationship with for that reason. He is genuinely one of the worst love interests ive seen be this popular in a long time and he has made the worst choices i have ever seen written and then defended by the author.
Feyre however, I would argue is his perfect partner for how awful he is after SF and CC3. But I wish a better author had written this book so we could've seen a decent redemption or a proper Rhysand villain arc. I think this series would've been so much more interesting crossover wise if it had been with tog and had been a mock feysand villain arc. Maeve has daemati powers, so making her an ancestor of Rhysand's through the HL bloodline would've made sense. Hybern could've been a mock villain to lure the reader into a false sense of security and think maybe the NC ARE good guys?
Nesta and Elain join Aelin's circle to take them down after they attempted to seize the dread trove for themselves under Amren's advice, (they dont like her having it clearly). And the emotional climax of the series is Feyre leaving him and joining her sisters, which leads Rhys to pull a tamlin by in turn going to koshei. Could even get Bryce quinlan in to fullfill a life debt to Nesta by using the horn and Feyre's fire powers to give Aelin her magic back somehow, and nesta never has her magic taken back by the cauldron?????? The cauldron had Amren in it and it should've been written that she had to sacrifice her true Daglan immortality to be with Varian. Boom full fucking circle.
But nope, we have Miss Maas.
thanks janet for ruining what couldve been my favorite thing >:^(
but a part of me hopes the Elucien book will include Tamlin's side of the story and Elain confronts Feysand for their *waves arms* everything. And taking Nesta and the Valkyries with them, they deserve better. it wont happen tho, so I'll read fanfic instead.
-🤠
Heyy again!
I get where you're coming from. I liked book 1, the way Feyre (and us, in a way) was discovering the SC and a little bit of Prythian as a whole, and I liked Feyre, who was this badass huntress, who had her own opinions, doing what needs to be done, etc... I mean, she went UTM knowing full well she wasn't coming out alive, but she still did it bc it was right, and she wanted to save her man.
Where THAT Feyre went, I'll never know.
As you said, It's an interesting concept seeing everything through a 20 year old's eyes, or it would've been for me if she hadn't started taking everything they said as truth.
Even though I haven't read any CC books yet, my friend spoiled CC3 that Nesta didn't actually lose her powers? That it was more of a bargain with the Couldron, but yeah, it would've been interesting to see crossovers between the series. I think Aelin, Manon, and maybe Lysandra would absolutely despise Rhysand. I would a 100% read a fic with what you described.
As for the Elucien book, like I hope she does good by Lucien because he, out of all the characters, deserves it.
I'm not holding my breath on Elain ever confronting Feysand bc as Rhysand once said, 'Elain is Elain', but a girl can hope.
Also, if Nesta and the valkyries ever become one of Rhysand's legions, I'm pulling a one woman riot before burning the book.
On another note, feel free to DM if you want to continue the conversation or if you're more comfortable this way, I don't mind that either.
🫰🏼
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ungirthed · 6 months ago
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1. Atla does not know the history or realities of imperialism and settler colonialism and i guess fascism but all these things NEED REASONS FOR ORDER. One of an economic and expansionist fashion seen through decimation of cultures and building complex intricate social relations to maintain that order for material reasons. This show doesn’t know or do that bc the writers have never read books pertaining to this. I GUARANTEE YOU they didn’t read fanon or like someone mentioned in a (not rly well researched) video breaking down the live action cedric j robinson who wrote black marxism
2. Aang is 12. This is a kids show. Nothing and i mean NOTHING that was written in this show indicated that aang would be ok with direct murder. The show flirts with death and people killing others but never explicitly shows it or people survive. They have killed multiple ppl just u know. Not the way we think. Anyway at no point in time would Aang have done that and it works bc it is a kids show. Pretty sure turtle duck wasnt a deus ex machina but i am also an adult
3. Pertaining to 2, bc the fandom has been lured into this false sense of the show being anti colonial this means that the solution Aang came up with isnt good enough. Not sure why because it seems most of these ppl dont know what they’re talking about so: why did he need to die? But otoh wtf is “breaking a cycle of violence” fuck that. But yea a 12 yr old buddhist monk wouldnt do that. Hes not a 20 yr old freedom fighter in Algeria. The writers probably didnt even think of algeria. Lmao
4. It is a kids show and since the above are not understood why are u arguing abt a 12 yr old. A sweet well written vegetarian angry bb
I refuse to believe Aang would be a bad dad but this is what the internet is telling me and therefore it must be true. Like with all the headcanons i am learning:
Aang is an asshole ? As seen by being a pre teen. I think
Azula has to be a lesbian or u murdered ur family. Also apparently she had friends (she didnt). You should feel bad for her if u think abt it (no)
Iroh is a bad uncle (???????????????)
Aang SINGLE HANDEDLY ruined everything he touched
Aang fucking sucks
Aang didnt kill someone and it isnt explained why one thinks that isnt a good end it just is bad bc aang is bad and even tho hes 12 hes actually 24
What is true that i am also learning: this show has nooooooooooooooo grasp of the true nature of imperialism and colonialism and neither do the fans whose only understanding of those things is via a tv show
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Goro Akechi Propaganda
He’s Not Very Happy About It
He dies in the bowels of ship that is the manifestation of his fathers distorted mind, killed by his father’s representation of himself, sacrificing himself for the protags right after boss battling them. And then he comes back to life in third semester when a perfect reality starts because as eventually revealed his being alive and being free is the One True Wish for a perfect reality by the protagonist.  And then he dies again because he doesn’t want to be a puppet under control of this false reality. And then he comes back to life again implied at the very end through the power of loving really hard
Imagine coming back for ur living bf in a perfect reality u dont want id go crazy. And the true end implies he comes back AGAIN
MASSIVE spoilers: He was revealed to be a serial killer with no friends and got so attached to the main character he sacrificed himself to save him. In the remastered version, Persona 5 Royal, he comes back a little while later. However, that’s because the party was locked in an alternate universe in which everyone’s deepest desires comes true, and the main character’s wish was to see Akechi again. Once they fix the timeline he dies again (maybe…?)
Ok so technically you gotta squint to say he came back in the real world, but a version of him came back and even after that, the devs say it’s up to interpretation if he came back or not, so I’m interpreting he did come back from the dead
Disclaimer out of the way, my god I love this fucked up little guy. Has an absolute sad life where his mom dies and he’s forced to become an assassin for his dad who doesn’t even know it’s him, and does so with the single minded goal of revenge. He has a tragic “totally platonic” (read “homosexual”) relationship with a guy in similar circumstances, but got to make the best of it instead of losing himself to revenge. In his final moments, he realizes that he had made friends who would’ve been there for him, and both he and the protag wish things could’ve been different. He dies leaving an unfulfilled promise with his rival, and a massive “what if?” had the two been able to have a relationship outside of all the bullshit life had thrown at both of them.
AND THEN
An egomaniac gains reality altering powers and tries to convince the good guys that he should be allowed to reshape the world by granting all of their deepest wishes. And Akechi is just sorta there. He doesn’t remember how he survived or how he got there, but he reconnects with his rival and the two immediately start working on fighting the egomaniac. It’s not clear what wish the egomaniac had granted the two of them, and it remains this mystery. The two continue to have a complicated relationship, but it’s revealed: Akechi was brought back by the egomaniac as his rivals greatest wish. He wanted Akechi back more than anything else in the world. And if they defeat the egomaniac, Akechi will leave as well, he’ll go back to being dead. But the two believe too strongly in free will and oppose the egomaniac anyways. There’s a heartbreaking scene where Akechi convinces the protag to let him die again, because he refuses to have his life controlled by people he hates any longer. And so, the egomaniac is defeated, and Akechi disappears. Leaving our protag to mourn and constantly wonder what if. And in the final cutscene of the game, we see a flash of akechis outfit in the reflection of a window. Was it a hallucination? Us Akechi truly back? It’s unclear, but the the protag has a lot of feelings about it anyways.
For the tragedy of both his death and his revival, Akechi truly deserves the win here. His life was a sad one, leading to a tragically preventable death that fits into the themes of cruel adults exploiting children and of free Will being above all. And his revival is more of the same, just under the guise of magnanimity. I love this character with all my heart, and both his two deaths and ambiguous revivals pull at my heartstrings constantly
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diabolikpersonals · 2 years ago
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shin cl endings!!
euphoria end:
as carla gets ready to kill, yui sticks to shin and declares she won't let go of him no matter what. carla seems like he won't be stopping anyway, so kino's like "EAT THIS, FOUNDER" and slaps a magic-sealing talisman on him. (it's so lucky that kino got to take his phone and a talisman into this world with him lol, it feels like he's cheating)
shin casts his weapon aside......and PUNCHES carla super hard. then he yells his monologue about how he always looked up to him at him, and screams at him to come back. this seems to work, because carla looks dizzy for a bit, then he's like "ohh yeah I know who you are" YAY!!! yui bursts into tears about it, and shin's like "dont cry!!" and she points out that he looks like he's gonna cry too lol...he's really happy...I'm glad, shin...!!
"[because of the false memories] I even pointed a blade at you" (carla I don't mean to be an asshole but you've done that before without false memories lmao)
while those 3 are in their own world, kino leaves without saying goodbye, which makes me wanna die. like where are u going? aren't we a team? we still dont know how to get out of here?? kino we're friends???? COME BACK???? they notice he's gone later and yui thinks to herself that they'll definitely meet again.
anyway about endzeit. carla hasnt had any flair-ups or pain in the whole time he's been here. from this he deduces that the world they're in is like a bubble of space and time, so the reason his condition hasn't changed is because there isn't an actual flow of time here. someone must've made this place with magic, so it must have like, a core? and if we can find that core then we can probably escape. that must be the church! (we were already on our way to the church to solve the whole chess puzzle thing, so this explanation wasn't really needed, which I think is super funny lmao. he just told us we're on the right track basically)
.......kino, from afar, watches them head for the church. he says he wanted to go together though.......sniff.......but he can't now that carla's there, because his true identity might be exposed. I'm too emotional about this ;-; get home safely to yuri and then keep in touch later, ok...? it kinda sounds like you think this friendship is over, but that's too sad, so let's stay friends, ok??......
carla's big plan is "let's blow up the church." I really thought there was gonna be something to do with the chess board floor and the stone statues, but sure, that'll PROBABLY work. (if yelling at the sky worked in yuma's route then I'll believe anything will work.) so through shin's raw power we Tear That Fucking Building Down and the whole world collapses around us and we wake up in the real world, in eden! it worked because of course it did
socrates the magical sphere of light (which still cracks me up) appears and gives us his whole explanation which I've typed out a bunch of times now and don't care to explain it again. it's in the prologue. we get it
back at banmaden, shin and yui talk about all the shit they went through. shin always believed his brother would remember him, and it was that belief that eventually got them out of there. because of that, shin feels a little more confident in himself now. (aww!! happy for u, buddy!) in the end, he took down the church without relying on his brother too. yui agrees that he's even cooler now, and shin's like "then I'll have to make you fall in love with me even more!" and he takes her into the hall and asks her to dance. (he's talking like a gentleman ehehe) yui steals his cool "I'll always be by ur side" line before he can say it lmao. super cute ending!!
labyrinth end (fuck I'm scared):
carla tries to grab yui but shin's like "she's the one thing I won't give u!!" and he fights back. in this ending, rather than using his trump card, kino uses a bomb made of...pepper? and he tells shin to wolf out. shin and yui escape together, and kino says he'll meet up with them later. ...but he doesn't. (FUCK this is what I was scared of)
instead of kino, the one who meets them at the abandoned house is.........carla. it seems like kino revealed their whereabouts. they fight again, cuz shin won't give up yui. there's a ton of blood on my screen as shin gets slashed over and over then he collapses. carla takes yui away. shin begs him not to, and he and yui reach out for each other, but they can't reach...!
yui gets chained up in the violet dungeon with kino and shin, who were also caught. (hey, at least we're reunited?) they stay there like that for some amount of time, yui isn't sure. carla, in the meantime, has been busy destroying the other houses—killing everybody else. he comes there often to suck yui's blood and totally ignore shin and kino.
shin and kino are getting driven crazy by the smell of her blood every time. yui approaches shin while he's barely conscious, begging for it (this is so sexy help help help) and lets him have her blood. kino, also starving, bites her too. (wait, if you guys could bite her even while tied up all this time, why were you starving? whatever, I won't question it lol) so yui is gonna be trapped here forever, supplying 3 guys with her blood.
...it ends like that. wait, that wasn't bad at all. that was really hot actually. and I didnt even have to watch anybody die. this route was great!! even the bad end was fun! >:D
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hellfireconfessions · 10 months ago
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!!! Phen Lore Drop !!!
Jack_BadCat (me) was falsely banned by him. He was really grasping at straws just to get me out of HF entirely due to me being, and I quote… “abrasive, aggressive, rude, and seemingly instigating drama for no reason, even when situations don’t pertain to you.”
And, here, I quote, are the main reasons I got pushed into that ban:
“most of what I do is me speaking for other’s behalf not my own cuz honestly I have been treated like a queen on here (I say while my name is GREEN)” Which was partially true at the time due to how I was very good at fighting back with the staff in reports, tickets, concerns, etc. and knew the rules so well I was almost untouchable at one point.
“but the worst part is that it’s all kept quiet and makes people feel isolated and scared”
“also my 2 other warnings/mutes were both mistakes from the staff’s end but they still counted anyways”
“I had no idea a staff request to move to a different channel (ex. #suggestions-and-ideas, #reports-tickets-concern-forms) was actually "SHUT THE FRICK UP NOW AND MOVE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE OR UR GONNA GET A WARNING” (I’d like to add in between these that this was taken very out of context, the other person I was messaging said “they’re gonna get u for that” or whatever and I responded in all caps “I HOPE THEY KNOW I AM JOKING LOL” so… it was obviously satire/sarcasm??
“…did you JUST now get approved?” Which was a joking stab within context for how it took over a month to get it approved.
“Thank you for answering my questions!! NOT. Because I was skipped. But no point now I guess. 💀” And btw, I said this BEFORE I got my final warning so it wouldn’t have even counted. He had to dig that deep to find enough reasons to defend himself about it.
The thing is that… we were friends prior as well? Which made it sting even more when it came from him. For a while I believed he took it because he thought it’d lightened the blow to see a friendly/familiar face, or that he was told to do it because we were on friendly terms and just copy n pasted what someone else had written. But now looking back… nah he was just an asshole. He was very weird and usually only hung out with the girls there which were almost always minors, while being pretty distanced with members who were older/guys. It just… rubs me the wrong way on so many levels.
I was going to send all the screenshots but tumblr SUCKS with images so like…. yeah, if anything ill make a little youtube video on it if anything. (And this is me not even mentioning the whole Noodles fiasco LMAO) 
mod edit: I’ve heard 3 people talk about the girls thing and as someone who talked to him alot maybe i just dont see it since i was kinda involved, but i never pegged him as the malicious or predatory type while talking and its been years so while its good to keep that part in mind unless someone steps forward take it lightly, id take even this mod edit lightly it’s just my own observation 
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icantgetnosatisfaction · 11 months ago
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15th
Actually, I was just gonna go to study some more but I feel like I need to write this. I believe If I doubted lf I truly fall in love with him then definitely some other people doubted their love too. So I don't feel guilty for that. I think l shouldn't. But then there is another question pubs out, how do I find out? How do I know if it was real or just an illusion or false idea because it was my first and I didn't experience much in life? Once I read somewhere that it is not possible to find true love before 25, because u don't have a true yourself or anything worth to mention personality wise by that time so how can u find what is right for you without having your own personality? However, the person you have fallen love with, who are them? Your perfect match? Your soul mate? All these mean like you two should have same things or what is expected from other parties. So we fall in love with the ideal person in our head or we fall in love with the person in ideal time, or both, a mix of it. I think it is a mix of it, a little bit of that, a little bit of those. If that's the case, lets assume that's the case, we can meet that person in any period of our lives.
So I will go back to my question in my mind? How do I understand if that was true love? Was it?
He was the first person, I thought I genuinely loved. I didn't get intimate with anyone as I did with him. In any meaning. This means l cant compare it with anyone, anything. I liked people before him after him but it wasn't love or anything. I only can say, with him, it was the best of my whole life experience although I am aware of how tiny I spent my life in this world and the first times hit always different. And not even mentioning, I only spent 3 days, just 3 days, with him. Fucked up right? We have been together almost one year far from each other, saw and touched each other for 3 days, and after broke up I spent 1,5 year far, separated from him while suffering and missing and loving him. So okay these are my arguments but they can be pretty subjective to prove its the true love. Instead he, he had more experiences than l did and l believe l can trust that. I wasn't his first love, I mean I am not sure if it was liking or loving but anyways his first girlfriend l am talking about before me. He was with someone before me, he spent a year with her lf ı remember right, they had sex and regular dating things. So he knew how it was to have sex with someone, doing all those couple things with someone, giving love and receiving love, kissing and hugging, trusting and sharing secrets. he tasted all these before me. I wasn't the first of his anything. Therefore I claim he is not supposed to be subjective at all. He doesn't have the misleading idea of first times, first experiences.
Yet he still loves me, he thinks he fell in love with me. Maybe he is wrong too, but most luckily l don't think so. He keeps loving me, even after a year or more. So maybe our love is true love. Maybe we fell in love with each other. Maybe we were meant to be one.
His place, in my heart, just cannot be changed, I don't think so. I feel like my feelings towards him existed since the beginning of my own existence on Earth. Imagining his place didn't exist in my heart is the same as thinking I didn't have a mother who gave me birth. Sounds ridiculous but that's the sensation. He has always been there and will be there. My heart will keep beating for him, sempre.
he was just something else, out of this place, in every meaning
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ditttiii · 2 years ago
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*Sighs*
HII I'M 🐻 ENTERING YOUR ASKS ONCE AGAIN TO SAY I FREAKING LOVE YOU SO DAYUM MUCH!!!!
Anyways
Hii
My name is 🐻. I'm 16 years old. A humanities student studying in 3rd year of highschool. My hobbies are singing, dancing, reading, writing (atm i have a block😭), sleeping, doing nothing and my most favourite- randomly complementing people. I don't particularly hate anything for i feel hate is a very strong emotion which stems out of lack of gratitude, jealousy and at times envy. Although I do have a strong dislike towards homophobics, fatphobics, racist, sexiest and people who treat elders nd kids like thrash. I also don't like bottle guard but i love bitter guard. Currently I'm suffering from recurring uti and am showing symptoms of IBS. I also have issues with my menstrual cycles but ik I'll get by. All this started when I was chubby but with perfect bmi but teased by everyone for being "fat". I went on a very unhealthy diet and also my mental health wasn't stable that time. I developed eating disorder. Btw this happened during 2020. During dec that year I drank less water and binged often. Developed uti but didn't tell my parents until July this year. Now am suffering terribly. Hate myself for this...
I did lose weight but not how people usually do. I fell sick(2021). For 3 days I had high fever, tonsil stone, period, diarrhoea and willingness to die. My body couldn't even take water. I used to puke everything and was still constantly having my stomach run. In those 3 days i lost approx 6 to 7 kgs of weight. My stupid 15 year old ass still wanted to be slim fit so i did what i SHOULDN'T have done. Regulated my diet which was again not something my body begged me to do.
I suffered from depression from the age of 11 when I was first passively bullied. I wanted to die when I was 12. Just survived without any reason at 13. Thought to heal but went nuts at 14. That was the time i was most creative though. Actually wished to die and gave myself an ultimatum that if I didn't heal by Jan or atleast got better, I'll swallow chlorine. And am now sitting with some anxiety but WAYYYYY better than before. It's true that u need to be patient with your self in order to actually grow and heal.
I don't regret anything but am just a Lil concerned about my fucked up health. I know I'll be alright though. I just hope I get out of my writing and reading slump. I now see the wonders of the world and am happy with where i am. I don't truly love myself but I don't hate myself as much as i used to.
Now i don't know what I'll do in the future. I know one thing that I've kept neuropsychology as my backup but how funny it is that I'm clueless about what it is for.
I mean it got serious so....
Ahem Ahem
MARRY ME!!!!
Im happy you got out of a relationship that didn't work for you instead of sabotaging yourself with false hope of having wonders of the world with the person who your weren't meant to be with. And ofc we'll both love jaykay afterall he has been my greatest muse as well.
Though i can't write even an ounce as brilliant an you but ig I'm improving.
Love you loads and have a great day ahead🫂🫂🫂🫂
I look forward to reading your replies because they are so cute and bubbly and vivacious and effervescent. You're just.... EPITOME OF EVERY TAYLOR'S LOVE SONG...... EPITOME OF MY FAVOURITE SUMMER WITH SUNSHINE BLAZING OVER ALL THE SHITTY THOUGHTS I HAVE ......
You're indeed enchanting. I don't know what you look like or perhaps if youre pretty to the eye. Butttt let me tell you. YOURE BEAUTIFUL. the vibe and aura you radiate isjust so pure and comforting. Would love to be real life besties with you....
Send you lots of love 💘💕
~🐻
oh you sweet sweettt soul i have the absolute strongest urge to hug you and just somehow cuddle the heck outta you until you know that you are not alone even though ik it may feel like it a lot. my gosh bee, you r such a strongass trooper heck ya! i have had both health struggles, mental and physical, for the last decade of my life so i really do understand a lot of where you are coming from. i ofc absolutely in no way can fully know how hard it has been for you, cant even come close to imagining it but my heart is with you through remembering it all :') idk if anyones told you this before but you are so so brave for keeping your head up and holding on. Sometimes its the hardest thing to do and it takes someone with a heart of literal fucking gold that bleeds goodness to be able to withstand and overcome those hardships so just. i am proud of you hun. really really proud.
also god i feel u on the health struggles. with recurring uti, i suffer from it too and often end up on antibiotics and even with those sometimes it takes like 2 weeks to fully recover. My suggestion would be just to look after ur hygiene and try to keep things dry while really buckling down with the hydration. the second you feel that burning or the weathers hot/humid and u are wearing tight jeans or you have been travelling, using more public restrooms -- just start gulping down water. trust me water and peeing more is actually the best cure for uti and also improves your natural immunity and i have learned that the hard way (i.e building resistance to antibiotics after multiple courses) with irregular menstrual cycles? i had terrible cycles all through out my highschool too. took meds for like a year i think and gave it a lot of time but it eventually sorted itself out so dont stress over it too much.
you my love are beautiful just the way you are. and if something ever changes do it for noone but yourself 💕 weight and body types and the stereotype of what is good and what isnt and whats okay and whats not it just. its freaking impossible. if your bmi is good, you feel healthy then you are absolutely a 10/10 and noone can change that despite whatever they say. if you feel good, the rest of the world is irrelevant.
Also letting your creativity ground you at your worst? i am so glad?? 😭 i get what that feels like because in a way the creative outlets are an escape and just a moment and bubble in time when you dont have to think about the things that worry and stress you out and can just instead be. be in the moment and be content and be calm and like amidst the shitstorm and all the noise sometimes its the only sound. and i m so hella glad that you held onto that creativity and let it be a support system for you. Its always tough being there for yourself and not having anyone else who really gets you and i havent found someone like that yet either so i rely on my creativity a lot to get me through the bad times and funnily enough it usually flourishes when i am at my worst. so lol if i am writing a lot and writing good i m prolly depressed 🤡
and lastly, this reply is a piece of all that my thoughts are and is only covering a portion of them but i am so honoured you trusted me enough to share it all. i do feel like i know you better know and its such a warm gushy realisation.
you my bear-chan are adorable and sweet beyond belief and i am always looking forward to hearing from you more and knowing what you have been upto.
sending back nothing but tons and buckets and seas full of my love 💕
-ditttiii xoxoxoxoxox
<33333333
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onsunnyside · 2 years ago
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hey just wanna ask can you pretty pls post something bout like drabble sneak peak anything related to ata ari and starlet on 9th of july 🥹🥹 this day is my birthday and i cant do anything cause half of my friends in out of country or city and my family has their own issues that cluld be a really beautiful birthday present for me ofc u dont have to but anyways i think u get the topic love you and your stories have a nice day best friend
hi bestie dearest, i'm so sorry you couldn't do anything for your birthday 🥺 please know that I'm celebrating for you all the way over here and sending you so much love and sweetness for your special day. i hope all your wishes come true !!
𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 | dark!alpha!fraternity president!Ari Levinson x omega!activist!reader
𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | dark, a/b/o dynamics, assault, power imbalance, violence, misogyny (within a/b/o designations), mean!ari, manipulation, size difference, possessive behaviour, blackmail. mentioned/implied (not on reader): assault (brutal mugging), beating, injuries.
𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | a snippet of A Tough Act: starlet has the lead role in a performance, but at what cost?
𝗪/𝗖 | 1.37K
𝗔/𝗡 | the masterlist isn’t posted yet, but this is from my new series set in HCV (Howard college verse). here is a special drabble for you, birthday anon. consider it also a snippet/spoiler bc this will be in the fic. it's a part I knew I wanted to write as soon as I outlined their story
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You try to ignore him, strangled breaths leave your clenched teeth as you apply lipstick, gripping the tube so tightly your knuckles nearly cramp. You’re fuming, shaking with pure rage as the previous night replays in your mind. 
You didn’t witness the assault, but you watched the video of it, he made you. It kept you up for hours on end, her choked pleas, the awful snap of her leg, and the aftermath of her bloody and bruised face. A lone tear slips from your eye before you wipe it away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction or ruin the makeup that took an hour.
Your bones go rigid as he inhales. 
“How does it feel to be the star of the show?”
The lipstick drops with a clank as you spin around, jabbing a finger in his built chest. “She’s in the hospital because of you.”
“And, you have the lead part because of me.” Ari swiftly replies, blue eyes calmly meeting yours, “When are you going to realize there is no playing nice in your profession. People will step all over you to get what they want, tear you to shreds and spit on your grave. And, you’re worried about some girl?”
The thick false lashes flutter against your cheekbones as you turn away, glaring at the exact replica of your costume just in a different size that fit the other student, the phenomenal actress who rightfully deserved the lead role because of her hard work and dedication. 
Unlike you, who got it because of the terrifying news that shook the entire production. 
“You could’ve killed her.”
Ari rolls his eyes, easily pushing you back until you’re pressed against the vanity. The yellow lights illuminate your frame like the sun. He fixes your headpiece, pink lips draw into a slow smirk. “Don’t be dramatic, starlet, she’ll recover in a few weeks.”
“And probably never come back because she’s fucking scared to get mugged again!”
His reflexes are fast when he slams your raised fist into the mirror, and makeup clatters to the ground as the vanity trembles. The force could’ve cracked the glass, and that plants two seeds into your stomach, one of alarm and one of fury. 
He scowls, his eyebrows low as a dark shadow takes over his eyes. “Her fear is not my problem, and it isn’t yours either. She didn’t care about you when she stole your part—”
“She didn’t steal it.”
“Well, she didn’t deserve it any more than you did.” He slides his fingers between yours, entwining your hands. “You were so upset when you didn’t get it, did you think I’d just let her do that to you? Fuck up all your chances to make something of your life?”
Because fucking up your life was his pleasure, and no one else could take that from him. 
Perhaps you should be used to his behaviour by now, but this was far worse than the teasing, unconsented touching and borderline stalking because that was all inflicted onto you. This time he purposefully hurt someone else and traumatized them for the rest of their life. Heavy guilt sinks deep, reminding you that you brought yet another person into your stupid mess with the Arcadia president. 
“She almost lost sight in her right eye.” You spit, “If you think my career is going to be built on the suffering of an innocent girl—you’re sadly mistaken.”
“Fine then.” He breathes, he drops your hand, stepping back and crossing his arms, his biceps almost tearing the seams of his shirt. “Don’t go on stage, don’t perform the part you’ve thrived for.” His tone lowers to a growl, “See how far you’ll get by being nice.”
Your nails dent the surface of the vanity, red hot wrath burns bright within your chest. You despise him with every cell of your body. 
Ari gestures to the wide-open door, cocking his head tauntingly. “Fucking go if you aren’t grateful for my help.”
You grit your teeth and shoulder past him. When you’re one step away from the doorway, he speaks again. 
“I’m sure the Dean and the police would be curious as to why you never came forward about her assault. After all, you know exactly who did it,” He tuts, “You saw what they did, and you know why.” 
Your feet freeze as a deep thumping fills your head, pounding against your skull and shaking the rest of your body. The dressing room exit is within reach, one more step and you’ll be away from him, and hopefully, never get his cruel help again—but that was wishful thinking. 
“They’d wonder why the great omega rights activist withheld information about the brutal mugging of another helpless, young omega.” Ari appears by your side, his heady scent filling your senses as a sickness takes over, “You’d probably lose your scholarship and all credibility. Think you’ll survive with that on your record?”
You meet his eyes, neck stiff as you read his expression. One quirked brow with squinted eyes, plump lips in a relaxed smile. 
“They’ll never believe you.”
“Won’t they? It’s my word against yours. And you may be a star performer, but you’ll never have what I have—superiority. Your reputation is standing on thin glass, and something like this could shatter everything you have. And those dreams of yours—are just going to be fantasies you’ll never reach. Are you ready for that to happen?”
When you don’t reply, he steps behind you, his firm chest pressing against your back. “The door is right there,” He whispers into the side of your face, lips ghosting your skin, “along with a false sense of independence, and a future you can kiss goodbye.”  
The next few seconds feel like hours when your feet refuse to move, trapping you and your dreadful realization that he’s right. No matter how hard you tried, fought and screamed, you’d never be like him or any alpha. 
He hums pridefully, drinking in your corset-style dress that enhanced your figure, “That’s my girl. I expect a thank you tonight, baby.” 
Your name is called before one of the crew members pokes in, looking startled at the sight of the big alpha crowding your space. He stutters for a moment, wide brown eyes meeting yours, “Uh, curtains in fifteen. Mrs. Aiko wants to speak to you beforehand though.”
And just like that, you can move again. As if the presence of someone else snapped you out of whatever rotten trance Ari put you under. “Thanks, I’ll be right there.” 
The young man leaves with a forced smile and the air feels lighter. You tilt up your chin and step forward, but Ari grabs your arm and digs his fingers into your flesh when you try to shove him off. “I could’ve lost my presidency because of that whore. Don’t disappoint me out there. I’m expecting a standing ovation.” He loosens his hold, settling for bringing your knuckles to his lips, he presses a chaste kiss, lingering for a few moments too long. “Break a leg—”
You scoff at his sick humour. 
“—or don’t, I have no clue what they’d do if both their best performers were in casts lying in the hospital.” He laughs and goes to the door, placing a single red rose on the table, “We’ll be in the back row.”
He perks up at your shock, “Oh, you thought I’d come alone?” He teases, running a hand through his shoulder-length brown hair, “No, the boys love theatre, plus, they want to know if their blood-stained clothes are worth it. Steve was really upset he dirtied that Kappa hoodie from legacy.” 
You can almost hear the vile sounds of fists and feet slamming into the poor omega’s body and her broken sobs. 
Ari disappears around the corner before returning with a canvas tote bag, he sets it on the floor and you can see the familiar red and gold crescent and a few of the stitched letters on the back ‘LEVI—’
“That’s for after the show, and if you do good, we’ll celebrate back at the house and you’ll get much more than just a sweater from me.” He winks, “Best of luck, starlet. Make me proud.”
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happy 200! i’m so glad to see your blog grow, it’s one of my favorites and i adore all your writing. i’ve never cried so much and i love the kind of unsettling feeling you write in your fics, it’s perfect in the category of yandere and dark content. in particular, i loved your drabble about shigaraki mourning over a dead reader and i’ve reread that one too many times to count haha! as for asks for headcannons and drabbles, it would be amazing to see that with bully!eren especially since he was such an awful person to the reader. i’d love to see him suffer honestly, but if you don’t want to write it, that’s completely fine! once again, i’m so proud of you for hitting 200! that’s such a huge milestone and hopefully, there will be many more in the future! :)
SYNOPSIS: bully!Eren has to navigate the world without you.
Pairing: Bully!Eren x Fem!Reader
A/N: I can't even explain in words how much I CHEESED at this message like my grin was ear to ear. can't explain how many times I read this. It singlehandedly made my day anon, and to repay you for my happiness....here is some angst. this is a slightly different route than the shiggy one but I hope it still suits you <3
TW: mentions of death, past dubcon/noncon, mentions of trauma, bullying, alcohol addiction, drunk driving, abusive behavior, revenge porn, nonconsensual photography/videography, mentions of infidelity, angst, so much of angst, violent behavior
WC: 2.5k
It's not like Eren had been doing a lot of soul-searching. He's not delusional enough to label his half-assed epiphany of "maybe I'm a shitty person" as soul searching.
It's just the conversation with his very sick mother burned holes through the back of his mind. Carla had asked about you and why you don't come by the house anymore. How she missed baking with you in the kitchen, and how you sweetly smiled whenever you would see soft creamy peaks form in the meringue.
Eren felt like he was swallowing needles as he assured his mother with false truths, that nothing was going on and distance between childhood friends is natural, and if it means so much--ok ok he'll bring you over.
He stays until he sees her chest slowly rising and falling into a gentle asleep. He touches the tip of his ears, unsurprised by how hot it was.
Eren, when you tell a lie, the tips of your ears turn red.
You're not at school the next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.
Guilt is not an emotion he feels often but the events of the past weekend replay in his mind. It was just a dumb party that Floch threw, and he was surprised to find you cornered by a trio of thee dunderheads. Like a distorted fairytale, he swept you away from the bad guys like a knight in shining armor, to only shove you in an empty room and demand compensation for playing hero.
Fuck, with that big mouth, you would think that you'd know how to suck cock.
Use your tongue stupid slut. If you use teeth, I'll shove this dick in your ass without any prep.
No, I don't care, you're taking all of it.
There's a video on his camera roll. How could he not record it? You're sobbing, mascara running down your cheeks, looking so beautiful and ruined with jizz smeared at the corner of your mouth. He was brutally fucking your mouth, making you take all of his length.
Breathe through your nose dumb whore. Or else you're gonna run out of air.
You were pleading with whatever garbled sounds you were constricted into producing.
Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.
Eren is conflicted with muting the video because he can't stand to hear himself like that. But he didn't want to miss out on your pitiful whines.
He remembers the distraught expression on your face when he was finally done with you. He tucked himself inside, and sneered, "I've got a girl coming here. Get lost." You looked so fucking distraught. Why? All he did was make you suck his dick. He didn't even fuck you.
He should have. Eren thinks grimly when he stares at your empty desk on the first day you didn't show up to school. He's gotten off to the video more than enough times than he can count over the weekend, and he was aching to see your pretty face twisted into a terrorized expression when he flipped up your skirt to grope your ass.
Kindly, Eren decides he'd allow you to have a rest day. But the second day, Eren pays a visit to your house finding it dark and locked, like no one was home and hadn't been there for a while.
On the third day, you're declared missing.
Your incompetent workaholic mother who finally came home and decided to give a damn reported you missing to the authorities who had scratched their heads because as far as they knew, the pivotal 72 hours were up.
Paradis was surrounded by forests. No one wanted to say it, but they were all thinking it. If you got lost in there, chances are you wouldn't make it out.
Eren wasn't always this admired and fawned over. He had his fair share of behavioral issues that frightened people (not you though, not then at least, not when you were children, and you still came back every day to play).
But when he channeled that anger into sports, there was somewhat of a star in the making, especially for some small-town boy. He was becoming extremely popular, and that's nice and all, but at the end of the day, he has a mother whose health was taking a sharp decline. He was constantly under stress, stress that he took out on you.
Where did his favorite stress-ball go?
It's all fucking surreal. Having detectives in the school. Not that there were many students to question (because christ, did you even have any friends after Eren turned everyone against you?).
Eren was questioned. He can't help but mirthfully chuckle. Maybe this was your grand plan, maybe you were able to finally sort out a mountain of evidence against him. If you were going to fuck him over, didn't you want to see it happen with your own two eyes?
The dark-haired boy wishes that was true. If you had gotten your revenge, would you be here? No, revenge isn't the right word. If you got any justice for what he made you suffer, would you come back?
Hi, I'm Detective Hange. I would like to ask you some questions today. You're Eren Yeager, right?
Yes, that's me.
How do you know ___?
We were childhood friends. We're uh, we're not as close anymore.
When was the last time you saw her?
Friday night at Floch's party-
-Floch Forster right? There were a number of kids there from your school.
Yeah. It was a big party. She uh, doesn't usually come to parties but she was there that night.
You were the last person to be seen with her. Other kids have said that they saw you and her entering a room together, and then only her leaving the said room.
[Sigh] Yeah we sorta...hooked up.
I thought you said you guys weren't close anymore.
You can be not close to someone and still hook up with them.
But you guys were close once right?
Yeah. Once.
The dark-haired boy asks if he was under any suspicion. The detective waves their hand in a dismissive gesture, “If her diary tells us anything, it’s only that she really liked you.”
Were detectives even allowed to divulge that sort of information? Eren doesn’t know but the stray detail that they offered off-handedly made him feel like he was swallowing needles.
At that point, Eren honestly still doesn't believe you're gone. You had a habit of running away, even when you were little kids, but you always came back.
Still, he participates in the search parties with a renewed vigor, even going alone in the forest with a flashlight on most nights.
And he's just so fucking tired. The darkest crevice of his mind almost wishes you were dead because this ignorance was just agony. Almost. Because he still clings to the feeling that one day, he’ll stroll into class and find you in your seat in the back of the class, looking out the window like some cliche shojo manga protagonist.
There are folders and folders on his phone. Albums. The most recent one is dedicated to your crying face as you were choking on his dick. Earlier albums are composed of creepshots of your panties, of that obscene o-face, of your skirt flipped up and your ass cheeks, pictures of your cleavage, videos of you thrashing as he dunked your head into toilets like a villainous middle school bully.
Pictures of your neck covered in hickeys, your naked breasts, ass cheeks striped with red after getting spanked, your leaking cunt, just endless and endless media dedicated to pieces and pieces of your body like you were never a whole person.
The earliest ones though tell a different tale, from off-guards to your drooling face as you napped in the middle of the day.
He has a favorite picture. Your eyes are watery from the cold, snowflakes stuck between lashes, nose and cheeks flushed red, and you're smiling. Smiling right to the camera. Right at him.
"Eren, are you taking a picture?" You asked, bouncing in place, giddy that it was finally snowing.
"Not of you, shut up. Get out of the way." His voice is gruff but not harsh.
You laughed and jumped into frame anyway, and the bright streetlamp behind you made you seem like you were wearing a halo.
He wishes he had more pictures of you being...yourself. Because now your crying face displayed over countless pixels haunt him. But like a fucking degenerate, he still jerks off to all the nudes he coerced from you. Sometimes he cries when he's jerking off which is probably the most pathetic thing he's ever done. This is what you've reduced him to.
He hates the sound of his own voice.
Breathe through your fucking nose. This is for your sake. Otherwise, I don't mind face fucking your lifeless body. You'd be more useful that way anyways.
Eren goes through the motions of life without really feeling like he's in the moment. Seasons change and time flies. His mother dies, and his withdrawn father dies a year later. He proposes to Mikasa because it's something he was always supposed to do. She loves him unconditionally, so even when he doesn't put any effort into the relationship but proposes, she says yes hoping he'll change and be a good husband.
He doesn't go to his parents' funerals because they're already dead. What's the point. He doesn't visit the candlelight vigils in your honor either. After tearing his ACL again and a somewhat traumatic injury, he kisses his pro-football career goodbye. To be totally honest, he's relieved. Because he had gotten quite bored, and maybe he was looking for excuses to quit the entire time. It's not like you'd be cheering on the bleachers anyways.
Mikasa has an affair, more out of a desire to see her fiancé feel something for her as opposed to any burning lust. But when she asks him if he's ever cared at all, with tears springing out of her eyes, he's just calmly drinking his fifth of whisky.
The dark-haired man doesn't even look up, "Let's break up."
"Is this about her, huh? Fucking get over it already Eren. She's GONE. And you have some big fucking audacity moping about her death like you weren't making her cry in the bathroom stalls every fucking day you piece of shit."
"Get out."
"You know what, I bet she killed herse-"
SMASH
The dark-haired woman doesn't finish her rant because the whiskey bottle smashes on the wall next to her head, sending glass everywhere and staining the carpet amber. She's unharmed, knowing it wasn't Eren's intention to hit her but Jesus Christ, what a monster.
She packs her bags and leaves the town like she should have a long time ago. All her friends had left years before and she stayed behind because that's where Eren was. She thanks her lucky stars that they didn't marry.
It's funny because he had always imagined himself being the first to move out of their small town, but he's the one staying. He can't leave this place. feels too tethered to ever leave. Every diner and liquor store is saturated with memories of you. He remembers buying cigarettes and exhaling the smoke to your face to piss you off in empty parking lots.
Maybe he stays in case you'll come back.
Eren's days consist of alcohol-fueled hazes. He doesn't know how his liver is still functioning. He doesn't know he's still alive after crashing his car into a tree when he was drunk out of his mind. He was on his way to get some more vodka.
He barely recognizes himself in the mirror anymore, not that he looks at himself much. His hair is long, nestled around his shoulder because he couldn't be bothered to cut it, dark circles under viridian eyes, and a perpetual stubble on his jaw.
His parents had left quite a sizable inheritance so there's no need to work but he's good with his hands. Likes crafting up birdhouses and cabinets, and occasionally does odd jobs around the neighborhood, never charging the elderly.
He's under the sink, tinkering with a wrench against the pipes when he hears the old lady coo at him.
"We're so lucky to have you Eren. I'm surprised a handsome young man like yourself doesn't have a special lady. The girls must be lining up at your door!"
The dark-haired man winces, and offers no comment, knowing that that the older lady was susceptible to long tangents.
"You know, we're getting a new neighbor." Eren grunts as a response. "They're young, I've heard. Isn't that exciting? Oh my, Eren! I think they're gonna be living in the house right next to yours..."
He tunes out the rest of the conversation because doesn't really care. He just hopes his new neighbors are quiet.
It's Sunday noon when obnoxious noises of moving trucks and people wake him up from his deep slumber. Eren's annoyed to wake up despite the fact he's probably been sleeping over 15 hours. He oscillates between getting too much sleep and getting none, his sleeping habits completely dependent on his dreams.
His nightmares are too visceral, visions of your corpse asking him if he'd enjoyed hollowing your soul with his teeth.
His dreams are achingly sweet. You in your prom gown, shining so iridescently like diamonds were sewn into the silk. He's dancing with you, holding you close, and then after you guys go to your favorite diner and gorge on burgers and milkshakes.
There's a peal of distinctly feminine laughter that stirs up Eren's senses. He's so pathetic, was the mere sound of a woman laughing getting him excited?
He sighs. He thinks of the whore he's frequently visited because of her resemblance to you. Hair color, skin color, face shape--with enough alcohol, he could really convince the person beneath him, was you. Maybe it's time to give her a call, but she's gotten so fucking needy and he hated how her voice didn't match yours.
The green-eyed man peers from the lace curtains, irritated by the brats playing on his lawn. A full family next door? Great, just what he needs.
The friendly knock on his door breaks him out of his daze. He contemplates whether he should answer but on the second more muted knock, he lets his feet guide him.
He turns the knob.
And Eren Yeager completely shatters.
Because it's you isn't it? You're the person standing in front of him? He can hear what you're saying but he doesn't really register it, soaking in the cadence of a voice he had long forgotten because all he had were pleading whimpers and frenzied moans stored on his cell.
He's shaking. Is he dreaming? He's dreaming, right? He knows it's you. You're older, far more beautiful than he's ever seen you. You have a different hairstyle, wearing clothes he would have mocked you for, and there's this joyfulness within you that makes you glow.
There's a mess of emotions electrifying in the pits of his stomach from euphoria, anger, and dread. He could feel his skin growing clammy like he was about to vomit at any second.
"Hey, are you all right?"
Doe eyes full of concern peer up at him. He voices out the syllables of your name like a desperate prayer.
You tilt your head to the side, "How do you know my name?"
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witchersgoldenbard · 3 years ago
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yennefer listening to the songs inside jaskier's mind to quiet her mind. then finally asking him to sing one of them. she's like can u sing the song it goes like this and jaskier's like wait i- i didnt even played this song anywhere
for science but only if u like it <3 who needs sleep anyway
Oh thank you for this lovely prompt 🥺 now let’s see if my 6% of battery will hold out here (it did!)
have 800 words of un-beta’d post-s2 Yennskier softs 💛
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Yennefer is used to people’s thoughts around her sounding just slightly off. Manipulated because they know she can listen in — or they fear it at the very least. It gets old, the same strain put on mental proceedings that will wear people out until they slip up. Oftentimes it’s not even worth hiding, but it’s always something that makes her der both powerful and fraudulent. To have people fear her like that is exhilarating, but to be presented with a false version of someone’s truth is exhausting at best.
Geralt used to think of nice things after they slept together, and that was a time she came to really enjoy this for the first time. But then everything went to shit with Geralt and Yennefer tried not to listen in on anyone’s thoughts anymore, spare herself the trouble and roll her eyes at the tension in their shoulders regardless.
But now? Now she is in a drafty keep full of maudlin Witchers, a traumatised yet fierce girl, and a bard. And somehow she’s in bed with the bard now. Just lying there, side by side, Jaskier’s mouth shut for once as he stares at the ceiling. Hers is the only room in the keep not warmed with fire, and has thus become the only safe space they feel they can have. It was an unspoken agreement that first day when Yennefer held her door open to invite the bard with the shadows under his eyes inside. And with the way he lit up for the first time since… well. For the first time in her presence, really, something inside her settled and he spent every night in her room.
Just lying here. Beside her. Not quite touching, but Yennefer is especially aware of where his hand lies next to hers only a few inches away. If she only reached out with her pinkie, she—
Oh. There it is again. That song that has been on his mind ever since the second night, that always begins with a smile on his lips. And true enough, there is is. And Yennefer is staring as the song washes through him and over her, settling somewhere in her stomach as her heart picks up the beat.
It’s a gentle tune full of understanding and love. Full of second chances and third, full of trust and something she would almost call magic.
And it’s there, right there for her to listen to, making her forget about the world outside the door to her room. Making her forget about everyone else in this keep, her whole world centring around Jaskier and his secret tune that has been soothing her mind for few days and nights now.
She swallows and keeps her eyes on Jaskier’s smile as she dares to push past her heart beating in her throat, and hums along.
It takes a while for Jaskier to notice but he falters as he does, turning wide surprises eyes on her, but she doesn’t stop. Picks the smile right from his lips and continues her hum. It’s shaky, her voice not made for singing like Jaskier’s is, but still she keeps going.
And Jaskier keeps staring.
And the world keeps fading, settling once more in the space between their fingers and the brightness of Jaskier’s blue, blue eyes.
She dares not put Jaskier’s words to the melody because they are clearly written for someone else’s lips and someone else’s smile, and she would not even get out a single word for how much she feels like she is about to burst. But the humming is enough to get Jaskier to look at her like that.
Like he has been caught. Like he is catching her.
And then there are warm fingers brushing against hers, tentative, questioning. And she only smiles wider, not once looking away from his wide eyes, though she can hear now how loudly his heart is beating. Not at all in tune with the song, but she will excuse it if it means he’ll keep looking at her like that, if it means he will keep brushing her fingers until he works up the courage to take her willing hand.
Hand in gentle, trembling hand, Yennefer comes to an end and a silence settles between them. Jaskier’s mind quiet for once, and it makes her grin even wider for just a split second before she gives his hand a squeeze and breaks the silence.
“You can sing, you know? I already know it by heart. You have a willing audience.”
Jaskier’s smile is both brighter and smaller than everything she has ever seen, and he huffs. “Will you sing it with me?”
“Maybe.” She smirks then, a challenge she knows he won’t be able to resist. “If I find you lacking.”
He sputters then, and it is on!
Neither of the two find it in them to stop smiling the rest of the night, or to let go of the other’s hand.
~
tagging: @cthulhusteve @horsedadgeralt 💛
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