#anyways i drafted this before i even really started the seb one

[skitskatdacat63]

Notes:

I think I definitely like the original versions more than the edited ones. I'm more happy with the grumpy Fernando one, whereas the bratty Seb one made me want to cease painting forever. So hopefully he looks good?????? I'm sure I'll soften on it, but yeah, not TOO pleased with it right now. His facial expressions are so cute and dynamic and unique until you have to try and paint it and then you dont love him anymore(kidding ofc, how could I ever hate my beloved boy king 🥺)

Anyways, these are them:

[astonmartingf]

Hello, Hello! Really big fan of your works. I'm obssessed with the YBOM series, everytime you upload an update I consumed it right away. sorry for the long message I just wanna praise you for your amazing skills

but anyway, I wanna ask whats your writing flows? like, how do you start writting your stories - especially the series one. Do you make an outline of the story until finish, do you just go with the flow or ? I'm starting to write as hobby but I'm not very consistent with it... Like how do you manage to be so consistent with writing while studying at the same time it blows my mind. again, sorry for the long ask 😭😭😭😭 im quite the yapper

first of all thank you so much for sending this, it's making me emotional. i'm glad you're enjoying YBOM <3

second i love asks like this!!!!! i'm very open and like to share my writing process and i have compiled a few examples of how my personal writing flows— and hopefully i can answer all your questions, the response is also fairly lengthy because i too am a yapper 🫡 and like the milestone name suggests there's a lot of personal lore here, anyways enjoy 👍

first how or where do i start? honestly despite me writing regularly i'm a mix of a vibe or mood writer and song titles!!! the ideas usually come early in the morning when i wake up or a thought before i go to sleep. most of the time these come to me during class hours and i write them instead whether it be in my phone or a notebook, or when i'm studying and i listen to a song and it randomly inspires me.

for the series, let's take doab since it's completed, the inspiration came from listening to the same some from patd! and it reignited something in my head and went from there

here are some original notes from drafting the series:

some things go and some things stay. the first two ideas at the start usually stay, and as the story goes i take liberties in changing the plot depending on how i think the driver or how i characterized the reader will react or respond to the situation in hand, so their decisions play a good part.

in greedy for example it was supposed to be a fwb to lovers with seb, but i scrapped the initial draft because it wasn't giving the way i envisioned. another factor is how i characterize the reader / yn because i struggle writing mean characters, and greedy was hard because i didn't want to write a mean character, i'd like to think i tried.

for my ongoing dilf series, it's definitely better because i've learned to pace myself (i definitely have not, but we're getting there)

for the case of ybom i thought of the initial plot and tbh ybom was just supposed to be a co-parenting fluff with reconciliation fic but as i wrote it, i began thinking of the reason as to why alonso and reader did what they did and we begin seeing the flesh of their characters

like the cliffhangers are on purpose, because i too have to stop and think what would be appropriate to push the plot forward, i realized that the ybom plot is all in my head

surprisingly it's shocking how i haven't forgotten about some ideas because i just write them directly and i haven't really written anything premeditated about it, except for the ending. here is the only page i wrote about ybom and it's mixed with other wips

one thing i realized while writing YBOM is to focus on a chapter at a time, but also to ensure that the small things the characters are doing will lead to a bigger picture. i have written a lot in the past and for different fandoms and even some original work, but i have never finished a single series in my name

the first series i finished writing ever was doab, and it was an epiphany for me, because i proved to myself that i could do it, and i could dedicate the amount of time i did, ever since i started writing in third grade, to have completed doab was a big feat for me

there's really only one story wherein i thought hard for the plot which is rlr, which is also why the updates are slow because this is my baby, and i have thought about this for so long, even though i'm not updating or talking about it, it's usually the one i keep making changes to

for the consistency— instead of focusing on consistently writing, my go-to is to take breaks consistently. writing to me is my break from studies and when i have time i usually write in my notes, a lot of the written parts in doab and ybom are written while waiting for the teachers, and in between lab work

also reading! when i'm in a slump i usually read other fics here, atm i'm reading: let me be your lighter @/nostappen and pancakes @/saintescuderia at idk if it's good to read when you're in a writing slump but i get inspired reading and think about what i will write next when i get the time.

being patient to yourself— some times you write a lot and some times you're barely writing and that's fine. it took me a while to learn that so now i'd like to think i'm better at managing my own expectations and choosing to stop when i no longer have the capacity to write.

and lastly to enjoy the process of it all— write what you want to write and have fun with it. not just writing but find a supportive community, i enjoy writing and sharing my silly little posts and talking to people here.

hopefully this has some semblance of understanding, and i made my point across with how i thought it would be conveyed? uhmm yeah, i hope you enjoy, this is vv lengthy actually now....

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[luninosity]

So I was looking for my notes for the final Like Sugar chapter and CAME ACROSS THIS AMAZING THING THAT I HAVE NO MEMORY OF WRITING...

...um, you guys want some Evanstan oops-we-got-married-in-Vegas fic? from my drafts? the opening’s a bit unpolished, but it’s pretty fun.

#

It’s been a long day. A long convention, full of panels and fan breakfasts and photo ops, all fun and amazing but also, by the end of it all, exhausting. And they’ve both been trying so hard (or at least Sebastian has; he knows Chris doesn’t feel the same, knows they’re friends, just friends, always friends) not to smile at Chris too much, not to touch Chris too much, not to lean into Chris during photos too much and bask in that solid laughing good-guy presence. Sebastian can’t let himself feel it, not this ridiculous feeling that’s always been too much, never fading, never letting go of his heart even so many years into this shared crazy ride;  and so, when Mackie suggests they all go on some sort of Vegas bar crawl to let off steam, Sebastian says yes.

And then Chris says yes. So do a few other people, but Sebastian loses track promptly. Because it’s Chris, always Chris, he’s looking at. It’s Chris’s voice he focuses on, goofy and serious and Boston-bright, especially after a couple (more than a couple) beers. It’s Chris who smiles at him, quick and warm, and then hands him another drink, having noticed Sebastian’s finished the previous one.

Their fingers brush. Sebastian aches with want. He tosses back half the drink. His eyes water, briefly.

They’re all happy and tipsy and wandering toward yet another bar (”It’s cowboy-themed!” proclaims Paul Rudd, a man on a mission) when they spot it.

A chapel. A wedding chapel.

Sebastian stares at it. It stares back, garishly merry, hinting at so many improbable marriage plots. And Sebastian’s a writer, okay. He knows about stories and set-ups. He says so aloud, to the chapel: “I know what you’re trying to do!”

The chapel doesn’t respond to this accusation, sadly. Sebastian takes Mackie’s drink, which has rum and a pineapple slice in it, and drinks some of it.

Chris sees the chapel too.  And says, “Stories?”

“Not important,” Sebastian mumbles, glaring at neon, wishing Chris wouldn’t ask or would bend him into a sweeping fairytale kiss right here on the spot. Neither is an option.

Chris says, loudly and with surprising intent, “You think Steve and Bucky ever, y’know, ever...like...on the battlefield, to, to...”

“Be each other’s next of kin?” Seb says. “Yeah, yeah, that, and...and they’re, y’know...they’re each other’s...”

“Everything!” Chris says. “Each other’s everything! Like...they should totally be married!”

“So...” Sebastian says. “So we should! Y’know. For them!” (And it won’t be real, of course: Chris is talking about Steve and Bucky, not himself and Sebastian, and it won’t ever be real, but Seb’s tipsy enough to want to pretend, to walk through the motions, just for one moment. Besides, Steve and Bucky TOTALLY deserve a ceremony.)

“For Steve and Bucky!” Chris yells, arm draped over Sebastian’s shoulder.

 Which is how they end up drunkenly swearing eternal love at two in the morning in front of a man dressed like Elvis. Sebastian’s holding bright pink plastic flowers because Anthony Mackie - also quite drunk and finding everything hilarious - shoved them at him. Chris is somehow holding rings, gold and simple and bought on the spot. Chris has on a clip-on bow tie, which is crooked, because Paul Rudd for some reason had one in a pocket. Sebastian didn’t ask why.

 He reaches out, an impulse, and tries to straighten the bow tie. Hopeless, between his clumsy fingers and Chris giggling and the cheap clip-on nature of it. But Chris gives him a sloppy fond brilliant smile anyway. “Seb.”

 “Chris.”

 “Sebastian. Seb.”

 “Still me, yeah...”

 “So sweet,” Chris murmurs, and Sebastian’s stomach lurches, though that might be the rum and vodka of the night. Or it might be the hurt: knowing that Chris doesn’t mean any of this, wouldn’t be here if it weren’t a ridiculous joke, a Vegas story to tell, about Steve and Bucky and some sort of symbolism. Not real. They’re not actually getting married. Got to remember that.

 It’s hard, when Chris’s eyes are so bright and blue and alcohol-intent and focused right on Seb’s face. When Chris takes both of Sebastian’s hands in his and says, voice a low Boston-kissed rumble, “Always loved you, y’know. Always...always have. Always will. Promise. Like a vow! Y’know. Makin’ a vow to you. So smart and so sweet and so...so fuckin’ pretty...I always wanted, I just wanted, I never thought you’d--but I will, I do, I’ll be fuckin’ here for you forever. To the, the end of the line. More. Always.”

 Sebastian can’t think much, between the vodka and the wanting and the ache of hearing the words, exactly everything he’s always wanted, and the knowing they’re not for him. Chris being Steve. Loving Bucky. To the end of the line. Using that line: their characters. Not themselves.

 He manages to say the “I do,” when it’s his turn, and he starts to say, “Chris--” but can’t get another word out before Chris kisses him.

 It’s not the best kiss of his life. It’s clumsy and stubble-scratchy and flavored with beer and tequila. Chris’s hands are big and hot on his face and they pull him close and cradle his head, and Chris kisses as if aware of tipsiness but determined to give this one act, this one instant, as much focus as he can summon.

 It’s the best kiss of Sebastian’s life anyway. In every way: being swept up and subsumed and surrounded by Chris.

 He falls into it, into heat and strength and the taste of Chris’s tongue and the shape of plastic flowers being crushed between them and digging into his chest.

 Then there are more drinks. Celebratory shots. Cheers from Mackie, who is the world’s worst enabler. The night blurs and sings and hums, laced with alcohol and the presence of Chris’s hand - constantly touching Seb now, at his back, on his shoulder, holding his hand - and the unaccustomed weight of a small circle of gold on his finger.

 He doesn’t recall stumbling up to bed. He doesn’t recall how or why Mackie’s managed to get them into a honeymoon suite, though he and Chris are both giggly and loopy and Chris makes cooing noises at a rose-petal heart on the bed and Sebastian himself announces that Steve and Bucky would’ve loved it.

 He wants to suggest that Steve and Bucky would’ve taken full advantage of it, the bed and the hot tub and every surface in the room, but his tongue’s stumbling over words - especially those too-bold words, making Chris think about him and sex - and he just laughs more, helplessly, instead.

 He fumbles with his shoes. Chris comes over and makes a vague offering noise and kneels and helps yank them off. Sebastian really wants to kiss him, wants to slide down and get arms around Chris and topple them both into bed, but doesn’t have the balance or coordination for that.

 Now shoeless and flopped back on the bed, he feels Chris collapse on the mattress beside him, both of them dressed. Sebastian’s lost the flowers somewhere; Chris’s tie pops off and flies away in the direction of a table.

 He’s drifting on the verge of sleep when he feels a large arm drape itself over him, when Chris’s body tucks itself in around him, curled up as if trying to protect him, or to make sure that Seb’s still here. Chris’s nose nuzzles the back of his neck, and Chris’s voice mumbles something Sebastian can’t make out, because he’s warm and cozy and falling into sleep.

 He wakes up to the sound of someone throwing up, to a parade of supervillains in his skull, and to the scent of coffee. He lies very very still for a moment, taking stock. Bits and pieces return.

 Chris. A chapel. Flowers. Words. Rings.

 Oh god. He stares at his hand. Yep, still there. Gold and shiny, a helpful cheerful presence.

 Oh god.

 Chris stumbles out of the bathroom, pale and hung over, wincing. He’s also still dressed from the night before, rumpled and red-eyed. He’s himself, though, so his gaze goes right to Sebastian, and he gets out, “Seb...you, um, you okay?”

 Chris Evans worries about other people, even here and now, even like this. Chris is perfect. Sebastian loves him.

 He says, wincing at each word for reasons both physical and emotional, “I think I’m dead. Or dying. Did you...make coffee?”

 “You,” Chirs says. “You...you like...coffee. And then...then I had to. Sort of. Throw up a lot. Sorry.”

 Sebastian sits up gingerly. Every piece of himself protests. “You made coffee. For me.”

 “I. Uh. Yeah? There’s also water...”

 “Chris?”

 “Yeah?”

 Sebastian holds up his hand. The ring catches morning Vegas light. Shimmers. “Did we...are we...that wasn’t...was it...?”

 “Oh god.” Chris’s whole face registers shock. Exactly, in fact, like a man who’s just remembered large significant chunks of the night before. “Oh god....” He holds up his hand too. Yep, matching. “I think...”

 “We said I do,” Seb says slowly. “We had...witnesses...we signed the, y’know, the thing...you kissed me...”

 “I kissed you,” Chris whispers. Seb’s not sure why that’s the part that bears repeating, but his head’s not in any shape to make sense of it. Maybe that’s the part that horrifies Chris the most.

 “I think...” Sebastian looks at the ring, which smirks. Then up at Chris. “I think we just got married.”

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Annnon, you're very lucky or you're a mind reader because I had the following sitting in my drafts and then I got this ask!!! This doesn't exactly have them all together but it does have Hayley with Seb and then Seb with Chris. Anyway, I hope you enjoy your feast ;)

⬇️ ⬇️ ⬇️

Conspiracy/Headcannon for y'all:

Hayley Atwell was originally taking care of Sebastian rather than Chris when filming and advertising CA:TFA.

When they met on the set for CA:TFA there was instant chemistry between them because of course. And while the boys have great chemistry now they were a little too scared to be around each other at the time, nervous and shaky, both of them dancing around feelings for each other despite not knowing much about the other at the time. Hayley tried to push Sebastian onto Chris at the time- knowing he wanted the other man but Seb kept whining at her to stop, half joking, half serious. Although she did stop when Seb told her he wasn't entirely comfortable with being out with the size of this production, he didn't want to mess anything up before it started. Especially with how big it could get.

But Hayley could see straight through him anyway. She knew what he needed. And what he wasn't getting- what he wanted with Chris and with her.

So she stepped up- at first just little things, like grabbing his jaw and calling him pretty. Complimenting the way he takes on Bucky's mantle. Poking at him, telling him that he looks really good. Telling him from the sidelines of the scenes she wasn't in that he was doing so good, that he was brilliant with bringing Bucky to life. Then it became more. Holding his hand, putting a hand on the back of his neck. Inviting Sebastian to go back to her hotel room after drinks with her. Evolving from just having him kneel in general and pet his hair, to kneeling and crawling and following her orders for the purpose of pleasing her. Because that's what he craves.

Anyway-

Eventually Hayley and Sebastian can't keep working the way they are. Hayley still adores him. As does Sebastian to her. But with living in different countries and having entirely separate worlds within acting and socializing it doesn't work anymore. It’s not convenient with having separate friends. Seperate jobs. Seperate everything really. It just doesn't work easily enough for them to keep up with it, there is attraction and affection (that they still hold for each other even years after)- just not love.

Hayley invites herself over to Chris' hotel room on their last day of press, not telling him that they're going to have a serious conversation because that would give him major anxiety. Eventually she convinces Chris to invite Seb.

Hayley takes the initiative again when he arrives, asking if Chris would be okay with a little "heart to heart" between all of them. Chris agrees, always being up for that, wearing his emotions on his sleeve. Hayley has spoken to Seb about this before, knowing how much it may seem like a trade-off.

She has Sebastian kneel between them on the floor- taking his chin in her hand as she explains and then asking Chris to replace his hand with hers when she's a mostly done. Explaining in explicit but not crude detail of what they've been doing, what Sebastian needs and what he likes, before flipping back to their current situation. Telling him about how obvious they both are and how they aren't continuing their arrangement and so they could start a new one. Kissing Sebastian's cheek and then Chris' as she leaves with the words of advice for them to talk it over.

[chal-lelerc]

ok so like. here’s my harry potter house thing. i’m ngl i tried to do this but then i deleted it bc it was getting too long and i didn’t have the attention span but. it kept sticking in my brain so i decided to pick it back up and as such, i’ve lost the original post but it was a quarantine activity (sort drivers into houses, assign quidditch positions, explain) posted by @verstappened​. houses done first, then positions, then explanations for both. i tried to make feasible teams, i.e making sure there arent too many of a single position per house, so this really screwed some of the sorting but oh well.

i did the houses first, then positions, then explanations in that order for the most part.

5/13/20: the sorting was mostly done before i heard all the differing opinions (of which there were many!)

5/19/20: alright so this is literally like 2 months old but i’ve just finished it lolol

Lewis Hamilton:

Slytherin: THE GLORY MAN. the aloof kind of superiority, confidence, is top dog, he’s simply the pinnacle of it all. kind of lethal and doesn’t do the whole ‘looking up to others’ things (outwardly, but he seems very soft on the inside tbh). very majestic and is almost a gryffindor, the kind of slytherin that Merlin is. hard-working, got here from incredibly humble beginnings, which kind of stands out from the rest, but he’s clearly now at the top level of society. still very protective of Others. scarily ambitious. Was originally a gryffindor but I wanted the brits to be in different houses for their quidditch positions to work. Could honestly go either way though.

Seeker: more glory. periodt. he stays winning and scoring the most points. clutch-man. Speedy boy, kind of in a different world than everyone else when competing (he’s always at the front lifetimes away from everyone else lmao. playing a diff game.)

Valtteri Bottas:

Hufflepuff: HE SEEMS. LIKE. A. BIG. CHILD. always relegated and brushed off but is literally God-Tier and no one can convince me otherwise. i consider him to be rather reliable (reflecting only the 2019 season at least lmao). a bit of a vindictive streak bc he knows what he’s Capable Of even when others underestimate him. has a very bright smile.

Beater: have u seen him. he’s a big boy even though he’s 5′8 and only an inch taller than lando norris he seems bigger than he is ok

Charles Leclerc:

Slytherin: this bitch. what a snake. hiss hiss.

Chaser: he wants what lewis hamilton has but chose the wrong position. still a star in his own right. pride and joy of his house, will be at the lead of every formation play unless told otherwise by his head of house, to which he will brood and complain ab but comply in the end bc he wants Team Success and loyalty to his Family. scores the most points on the team and people act like he carries even though he literally has a partner(s).

ok but fr my gut said charles is a slytherin (do i really need to explain why? very critical, doesn’t accept inferiority, somehow succeeds. just a feeling his brain seems to fit motorsport politics well), but i was seriously contemplating whether he’d be a gryffindor to max’s slytherin instead. but then i saw someone mention the whole lion schtick and i was like for all of max’s brattiness he is Gryffindor so sharl is snake. sorry don’t make the rules just follow them.

further edit: this was written before he started streaming (this is how old this draft is) and can u believe him he’s the epitome of the “not all slytherins r evil wenches” idea

Sebastian Vettel:

Ravenclaw: idk for all of Seb’s goofiness he just seems cerebral to me. Seems to know mildly irrelevant facts and is really quite smart however is hopeless in the modern age. Kind of that wise old(er he’s not that old) man knowledge. I’d trust him to give me all the life advice I need but also to write a 10 page essay on the nuances of the effect of emotion on verbal language (which we all know he is very experienced with).

Keeper: it’s the protective Dad Power.

Max Verstappen:

Gryffindor: WAS REALLY GONNA PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN BC HE’S A NASTY LIL SHIT. TOTAL BRAT. GIVES FUCK ALL WHAT OTHERS SAY. BUT HE IS LION AND LION IS HE SO GRYFFINDOR IT IS. also just bc he needs to oppose sharl in every way possible it’s called Poetic Cinema. also his driving style is clearly the bravery and confidence to the point of recklessness that is prevalent among gryffindors.

Chaser: again, he must oppose Charles. so, not a seeker although he’s clearly singularly the most prized competitor. just like Charles, pride and joy of house, their star chaser. the comparisons never end. the competition never ends. the fighting never ends. one of the most interesting and dynamic performers to watch, is predictable in that he’s not predictable except that he will always be aggro to the max. will always be in trouble for getting rough bc that’s Not His Job but that’s just the gryffindor disregard for rules. master point scorer.

Alex Albon:

Gryffindor: was really a toss up btwn this and Hufflepuff but the ultimate deciding factor was the fact that I wanted all the British Boys to be seekers. he really just sticks it out as max’s teammate like a real one (nothing against max, everything against Helmet Merco) for the good of the team, still is sweet with max anyway. fitting that they’re in the same house too.

Seeker: he’s not the small boy that lando and lewis are but he is (thai/)British. very special boy (big ups on the promotion even tho it was Sad Times for Pear) deserves very special job. also he has a hot girlfriend (alex albon who i only know lily he’s boy toy) idk how that’s relevant but it seems fitting.

Carlos Sainz:

Ravenclaw: bc he’s a spaniard but is still better at english than Lando (i think everyone is tbh). Seems to be a quiet type of smart, sensible, but perhaps this is just the consequence of being compared to Lanno at all times LMAO (no hate all love bby Lannd). would be the type of ravenclaw to follow his friends on absolutely idiotic ventures but would step in to prevent near death or likely-legal-problem causing actions (and only then; otherwise it’s every man for themselves and everyone is free to make a fool of themselves and break some laws. carlos may dabble in such practices.)

Chaser: seems to be a go-getter, not going for points doesn’t even cross his mind. will always be the one driving up the pitch, the strategist of sorts bc he seems big(ger) brain (than lando lololol).

Edit: I wrote this part ab him long ago but this entire section of this post is now irrelevant and canceled.

Lando Norris:

Hufflepuff: you all know why. zero explanation needed. like, none.

also has a bit of an aggressive streak which tends to catch ppl off guard. is not afraid to confront u (hello pageNO) and at times defies the hufflepuff stereotype of being perpetually happy go-lucky (he has his bad days!). but when with His True Crew he is absolutely a hufflepuff ball of energy.

Seeker: small and speedy. energetic to the max. small. quirky and different from the rest, so he gets the special job. small. everyone would kill to protect him. small.

Daniel Ricciardo:

Gryffindor: AW I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT I PUT HIM AND MAX TOGETHER. LOOK I EVEN MADE THEM BOTH CHASERS. AH HOW BIGBRAIN MY MIND IS. everything ab dan is gold. golden skin, the colors in redbull and renault, his smile, just the vibes. he’s just got the enthusiasm and charisma and this intensity of a gryffindor. super aggressive, his late breaking (from his rbr at least) is legendary and maddening with how he pulls it off. is almost a hufflepuff but the gut said no.

Chaser: is Max’s teammate. so yeah. was obviously the star until younger max came to the show. a bit lost in limbo bc of it but they still work well together.

literally want to make him a hufflepuff so. bad. but i couldn’t split up maxiel. also his vibe is just different from other ‘puffs like stroll so.

Esteban Ocon:

Slytherin: ask max.

Chaser: being characterized off of their relationship with max seems to be a theme here. will go head to head with max w/ absolutely zero shits given. talented, but the rivalry with max is entirely secondary to charles imho. still yet to show his full potential but is still quietly a thorn in max’s side. many are interested to see what he is able to do in the immediate future.

Pierre Gasly:

Hufflepuff: GUYS HE WANTS TO OWN A PANDA

Chaser: constantly trying to prove himself and score big boy points. had a stint as seeker until lando came along. did not do as well as ppl had hoped, returned to chaser and proceeded to crush it from there. praticed a lot with charles as children (the friendship dynamic w/ their houses was definitely unforseen but is amazing).

Daniil Kvyat:

Hufflepuff: really wanted to make him a slytherin but the quidditch positions didn’t work out. firmly believe this works though. more of the rough and tumble type, definitely the kind that will sock u in the nose if u write off hufflepuffs as a joke. could honestly probably be a gryffindor too with how unapologetically aggressive he can be in the name of His Beliefs. gives me big dumb himbo vibes now that i think ab it tbh which is mostly the justification here. also he has a child omg.

Chaser: but the one that’s always headbutting bludgers out of the air (torpedo bitches). also had a stint as seeker before but it Was Not His Thing. he’d much rather be chasing and throwing things than seeking things. also he’s pierre’s mate :,) would’ve been a beater but romain and valtteri will not be anything else so daniil took the boot whoops.

Sergio Perez:

Slytherin: it’s just the vibe. knows his weaknesses and is able to make up for it with his confidence and talent in his strengths. very ambitious, plays the right cards at the right times to get the right results. something ab him puts me on edge, but like in a good way; i feel like there’s always a trump card up his sleeve, like when he gets to q3 out of fucking nowhere in a racing point.

Keeper: he gives me the same vibes as seb idk what it is. very dependable, backbone of his team.

Lance Stroll:

Hufflepuff: guys have u seen the guy. he’s just here to have a good time. may seem a bit airheaded at times but he means well 99% of the time. untapped potential. seems like a no thoughts head empty canadian hockey boy (and every one of these types is a hufflepuff don’t fight it); may or may not be the only accurate description of him.

Chaser: he’s just trying his best out here. i

KEEPER?: SO I DID A QUICK GOOGLE AND HE USED TO BE A HOCKEY

GOALIE?????

so scratch my initial thoughts (tbh i didn’t really know where to put him and i originally had romain as keeper but that’s an issue to fix later on now) BECAUSE LANCE STROLL IS A keeper GOALIE AND NO ONE CAN REFUTE THIS. ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN OF THIS EARTH. WHAT GLORIOUS INFORMATION TO STUMBLE ACROSS.

Kimi Raikkonen:

Slytherin: guys i really don’t have an in depth analysis of this but i don’t think iceman needs one.

Beater: see above^. y’all must get the vibe.

tbh could also be a keeper tho similar energies to seb and checo, but honestly his no fucks given attitude is ultimately what swayed me

Antonio Giovinazzi:

Gryffindor: he just has that majestic quality (that could also fit a slytherin but i only see red when i see antonio). look at that lion’s mane. also he’s one of kimi’s to paddock friends? seems fitting that he’s a gryffindor to kimi’s slytherin.

Chaser: plays second fiddle to the duo that is max and daniel, often regulated to vibing on the side. but he’s there and he’s important and he has potential (i’ve been seeing ppl talking ab a ferrari move and i’m positively shaken). [edit: again, this post is old.]

im sorry its glaringly obvious idk much about him asdfjasldkd

Kevin Magnussen:

Slytherin: guys lots of these are just self explanatory sorry if i seem like im taking the cheap way out but it’s fact. brundle and crofty call him a great white shark for crying out loud.

Beater: unapologetically chaotic. lurking around the edges making people feel hunted. spends more time playing baseball in the middle of the matches than quidditch and sometimes it backfires but it’s good fun and it sometimes works.

Romain Grosjean:

Hufflepuff: y’all he’s such dad energy and he likes to cook. gets written off a lot but he actually cares (he’s a part of the grand prix drivers assoc.!). he seems so wholesome and he spends time with his kids and their school work when he can do u feel those water drops yeah those r my tears.

Beater: i really wanted to make him a slytherin beater to make him teammates with k-mag but he’s just. not a slytherin. but i kept the beater part. spends the majority of the hufflepuff v. slytherin matches sending bludgers kevin’s way even when he doesn’t mean to. it’s always reciprocated.

George Russell:

Ravenclaw: I’VE SAID IT BEFORE AND I’LL SAY IT AGAIN THIS KID. is so marvelously well spoken and he just has such a simple yet effective way with words. he knows what’s reasonable to expect but never fails to expect the most that he can given his circumstances. again, mentioned this before but a lot of it is his accent. the glottal stop is a historically stereotypically rural (i.e. “uneducated”) thing but I’m American and I Don’t Listen to the Rules, so the accent just makes him seem so sophisticated to me especially when he’s saying things like “horriiiiiiiific” and presenting his hefty powerpoints.

Seeker: my British Boys Are Seekers headcanon continues. definitely a Golden Boy of the team kind of guy (hello tragic dumpsterfire that is williams :/ ).

Nicholas Latifi:

Hufflepuff: same boat as lance. his twitch streams are so wholesome he’s just chilling man. twitter made me write him off as daft and unnecessary at first but like fuck twitter i’m all here for ninky latvia now.

Chaser: lowkey gives me keeper vibes as well? the sensible, level-headedness. but obvs that’s lance so chaser it is. still the level-headedness that helps him hold down the fort btwn pierre and daniil who can tend to get a bit imaginative, and also the energies of them + lando.

5/19/20: so it’s quite clear to me that i grew tired of brain functions the more time i took on this and the later ones are a bit lacking and for that i’m very sorry. that being said i’m still happy to see this finished bc the idea was VERY exciting for me.

[kotofvi]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Leo      Age: 27       Contact: IM, Inbox, Disco

Character(s) I rp: Canon: Shiro, Sebastian, Dirk, Kyoya, Kurama, Nelliel, Maka, Dwicky. OCs: Hades, Google, Emogene, Dominic, Seirios, Iso, Felix, Reeves, Nyx, Zeru, Ren, Charlie, Dakota, Nemo, Bluejay, Koko, BD, Raven, Cora, Sammie, Lucie, Poppie, Ollie, Alphie, Bambi, Abbigail, Hiraeth, Bonnie, Rei, Rory.   Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Nelliel, Shiro, Rei, Bonnie, Hiraeth.  Current Fandom(s): Bleach, V/LD, Naruto. (I’m not deeply involved in the fandoms themselves anymore.) Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  Uhhhhh.. I basically have an AU for any fandom if I know it well and am asked for it.  My language(s): English. (I’m learning other languages but I don’t RP in them unless it’s just a sentence or two.)  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: Modern, Mythology, Medieval. 

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. (I legit love all lengths, tbh, it’s more so with one-liners I tend to lose interest if there’s no substance to further it.)  Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (I’ve admittedly been v busy, so if you’re fine with me takin’ forever-- YES) Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT.  How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) (It really depends here.) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC.(I post more IC, but the gaps between IC and OOC make it seem like there’s more OOC at times???) Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  (This is entirely because half the fandoms some of my muses come from are absolute shit so I have to be careful.) 

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM or Inbox-- tbh, Just kick my inbox in and screech that you wanna plot/rp with me so long as you’re a mutual. I’m honestly so laid back?? Sure, it might take me a minute but this is entirely because IRL things and not because I’m putting anyone off. 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  Having fun? Having ideas? I guess, just, mutual interest? I mean, I’m here to write! I’m here to have fun! If you’re not interested in that much alone then?? I guess bye?? ‘Cause I’ll become very annoying to anyone who doesn’t have an interest purely because I’ll randomly ambush my partners with excitement and ideas. 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  Oh I’ll just straight up ask if they want to continue the thread or start a new one! I mean, I get it, you can lose interest or otherwise just not feel it anymore and that’s fine! If you’re not interested in that particular thread, then no worries, we can always start more! If you’re just being one-sided in general, however?? I’m not gonna be interested at all and I’ll likely tell you as such. 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  Normally it’ll just happen? I’ll do my “Hey what if they ___” thing and then a rapid bombardment of inquiries and excitement later, there is a thread. It’s usually mutual, the involvement of creating this plot, but sometimes it’s just me being excited and them being excited and then suddenly BAM THERE BE THREADS. S’all good over here! 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: I mean?? I’d like to know, yes! But I get that sometimes it’s incredibly anxiety ridden trying to tell someone that you’ve lost interest in a thread. It’s alright if you don’t tell me, but if you can muster up the courage to do so I’d appreciate it! I’m not gonna be upset at you for losing interest/muse in a thread! If I cared deeply about the story, I might poke at you and then you can tell me?? Either way it’s fine and tbh, I don’t mind. However, please let it be known that you can take forever on a reply as well so don’t worry about just hoarding a draft too! Tbh, I had someone reply to a thread literally a year later and I was still excited for it!  - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  Just shoot me an IM or hell, make a list of threads you’re dropping and tag me in it??? Which ever! Or don’t even tell me at all, whatever works for you sugar! 

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  Hmn, being overwhelmed-- I tend to accumulate a lot of drafts and 90% of them are long so sometimes I’ll drop a thread or two to help myself get by. Also lack of muse/interest is a factor. I won’t drop a thread purely out of being overwhelmed unless I just can’t muster up the muse to respond to it.  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. Sometimes I get overwhelmed myself and I’ll drop a thread, forget to tell my partner, etc. Other times I’ll tell them before I even delete the draft! 

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  Yes and no~ Yes primarily! I get that others can take a minute to muster up the courage to talk to others and would just prefer to keep things to a few sentences at first! However, I can and will ambush you with conversation and interest nonetheless. Because communication is important. If you’ve got something you wanna say to me, say it! I’m here for it!  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  Yup! If you’ve got an issue or something that might come across as criticism to say, say it! Civil discussion is absolutely wanted here and I would like to work out any issues you may have with me or my portrayal.  - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  To write and have fun! To explore in depth the characters I create or take on! I mean, c’mon, lbr here-- my gremlin ass muses require some more in depth speculation and investigation into their characters! I love the creativity, the world building, the constant drive to do better and to make others feel something from words alone. The capability to rend emotion from another living being simply from reading and reacting to something I created is amazing and I want to make others cry, laugh, smile and think. I want to create. 

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  Oh man, there’s an endless supply of things I’d like to do! I want to explore the depths of my muses’ histories more?? Like Shiro, I want to write out the things he must’ve seen, felt, experienced. How Nelliel was when she was alive, how Shiro fared in the Arena when he wasn’t fighting, Seb’s life torn between the various throws of data and reality-- there’s so much! And ALL THE AU’s!!!! All of them!!!  

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore: Sure, I work with a lot of darker themes like torture, gore, etc-- but I will not write Rape, sexual abuse, nor will I write child loss.  

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: I can work with most starters! However, if I’m randomly given a starter that I can’t work with for the muse selected, I’ll inform the person who wrote it! I appreciate the effort given but don’t expect me to be able to reply to every random starter given! Sometimes, they don’t even show up in my tag. 

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  Okay, I’m a sucker for the underdogs, aggressive folks and the villains. I’m not even going to try and lie and say I don’t immediately look at the Aizens and Kenpachis and go ah yes, those fucking gremlins, give me ten. I also love the background characters? The side characters in a show that seem so unimportant but have a crucial role? I love characters that have such an obscure involvement that you have to stop and ask why and how their involvement was crucial. I also love the soft beans? The ones who are so hyped with positivity and gleaming interest that they just can’t be ignored?? But then turn around and whoop some poor sap’s ass with that sparkle sparkle smile. Also love the upstanding moral types that also acknowledge that some things can’t be avoided and that morality is a grey area dependent on the perceptions of the individuals themselves. 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  Hmn-- I guess the kind that don’t seem to have much substance to them? The ones that are just uncharacteristically too kind. Yes, I love the overwhelmingly positive types but?? Also?? The ones that are too kind and without flaw just?? Don’t strike me as interesting. Also the ones that are just cruel for some obscure reason just to give them a reason to be villains. I mean I understand but also?? Villains don’t have to have a reason?? They can be cruel just to be cruel. Idk that’s always just been a thing with me.

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I guess that I’m fairly laid back? I don’t mind if you take 10 years to reply, I’m going to get excited if you message me with some random idea, I’m not going to be bothered by any ideas you suggest?? I can also sometimes give u doodles?? I don’t have time to doodle a lot but sometimes, once in a blue moon, you’ll get a random offering of doodled booty for ur blessing. Also gonna hit you up with random HCs, ideas, threads, etc?? Always?? Idk, I’m not too good at thinking about positive aspects of myself lmfao. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: Hnnn, I’m too laid back at times. I take too long to reply and I’m busy af IRL. I’m often goaded into being irritated by some asshole or another so I can come off aggro af too when I don’t mean to be. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed and disappear for a week, other times I can end up overwhelming someone else by being too excited? I tend to watch how much I do and say because I feel like I might come off as smothering and am too used to being shut down and told to shut up so I just don’t?? Do anything sometimes. I’m also not very good at initiating contact sometimes so I tend to go days and weeks without speaking to others. 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  Usually only if it’s developmental for the characters involved. Sometimes it’s just fun to do! It really depends on the characters involved + if I have any muse in general for it.  - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  ???? Kinda vague, Idk? I mean if I don’t wanna rp somethin’ I’ll say so. 

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  The relationship, the depth of two muses who can be wildly different or even similar. The multifaceted involvement of others to that relationship, the angst, the arguments, the sad moments along with all the happy things and how hard one might try while the other is cold-- etc. I don’t just want happy dates and sunshine, that’s not how relationships work after all!   - What is your smut tag?: Kettledrums

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: I like a lot of pre-established relationships! However, I can be a tad wary of child muses? Aka: The ones who are children of one of my muses. Reason being, sometimes even I don’t know how they’d raise a child so the muse in question would be off putting to me because it’s out of my realm. Beyond that, I’m down for just about everything! 

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  Since I have so many damn muses, I’mma just go with Shiro for all of this-- I suppose what they could find interesting is his very multifaceted dynamic as a soldier, human, technical non-human (Zombae), war worn, space exploring person. He can be rainbows and sunshine but also can suddenly become incredibly aggressive and cold. He’s not one or the other, he’s all and everything that he’s learned and encompassed while still remaining fragile and human in the end. Writing with him can be inspiring and can be soul wrenching, depending on the thread. As for plots, dude your character could be in space in one thread if the otherwise couldn’t be. There’s so many ways to go about writing with him?? He’s such an amazing character and the plots he can be instilled in are almost limitless with just his main verse. 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   Hmn-- I guess the main one I have issues injecting him into place with would be the ones who are strictly non-tech oriented?? I mean, I can still have him there but getting him to fit is just?? Really difficult. Also with people who RP villains of his fandom and expect him not to be volatile. I’m sorry, but if you’re writing a S.endak or a Z.arkon-- you’re not going to get roses and butterflies with Shiro, plain and simple. If that’s something you can’t accept then don’t approach him with those muses.  - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  He works really well with most anyone! So long as one goes into it knowing he can be hostile with soldiers, Galra, etc; then he can be used no matter what. He’s one of my most capable muses that doesn’t have much of an issue when it comes to responding. 

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  Space, mechanics, biomedical engineering, people, freedom, fighting for a cause, flowers, his mother, violin, cats, sparring, getting stronger, constellations, nebulae, engineering, literature, alien languages, cooking. - What do they desire, is their goal?:  The safety of others, the freedom of others, the ability to choose, hope-- he wants to make sure those he cares for and all others are free and safe from the Galra take over.  - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  How they look at him. If they show signs of pity, of fear, he tends to walk away from any possible meeting with them. Otherwise, their appearance is what first catches his eye. How they dress, how they respond to him, how they talk and if he can make them crack a smile with an awkward joke.  - What do they value in a person?:  Hope, Strength, Loyalty, Purpose, Honesty, Patience. - What themes do they like talking about?:  Shiro’s more of a listener than a talker, but honestly he’ll talk about anything of interest and question anyone’s as well to get them to talk about it. It’s what makes conversation with him easygoing most of the time.  - Which themes bore them?:  Himself. He’ll try to avert any conversation about himself if it’s too personal or too close to something. It’s not so much that it bores him but that type of talk is reserved for those insanely close to him. Also talk of command bores the FUCK out of him. He’s never been one to really like rank. 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  So. Fucking. Much. Between being a prisoner of a war he was never involved with to being told he was a leader of a rebellion for said war, being a prisoner in the Arena and forced to fight and kill others, being held down and sedated as he tried to warn the others, DYING-- this boy has been thru too much.  - What could possibly trigger them?:  Certain noises, textures, Galra, medical equipment, certain lighting.  - What could set them off, enrage them?:  Galra, someone protecting him. - What could lead to an instant kill?:  Any bloodlust towards him or those he cares for. Most of the time, he has this under control and tries to be merciful, give them a chance; but sometimes, especially during an episode; there’s no stopping him from gunning for someone’s throat if they had any intent to harm another or himself. 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  Z.arkon, S.endak, L.otor, H.aggar, Druids, himself a lot of the time. - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   The paladins, space fam in general, his mother, his friends, people in general. 

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Just approach him? Honestly, Shiro’s one of the easiest persons to converse with and get near. That doesn’t mean his guard is dropped, but he’s very easy going a lot of the time outside of battle. So long as you have a reason to approach him (even simpler ones like: his appearance, his arm, etc) then you’re set.  - Where are they usually to find?:  Oof, honestly? Anywhere. Space, Earth, other places-- he’s constantly on the move. If you want a set place, just say somewhere on Earth and I can work with that. 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  Shiro is certainly easy to get along with, but he is not without flaw or issue. He has a plethora of issues even after the fall of the Galra Empire. He’s not without his scars, physical and otherwise. Approaching him is easy but getting close to him is not. Don’t expect him to be an open book. Just because he can talk about war, battle, fighting with a straight face doesn’t mean he wasn’t effected by it. He has suffered greatly and it will show the closer you get to him. 

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by: @skyvar​  [ <3 ] Tagging: IF YOU WANNA PARTAKE IN THIS INSANITY, PLEASE DO AND TAG ME IN IT SO I CAN READ IT!!! 

[spamela-hamderson]

10 signs you’ve become a crazy cat lady

Happy Birthday @illgetmerope!!!! This story might be a little sad, but we know how it really ends. So it’s ok, yes? Love you loads, enjoy the rest of your birthday weekend!!!

She slinks into the tight space in-between the coloured bins, praying she’s moved fast enough for The Children to have missed her. She feels the weight of their footsteps getting closer, rubber souls thumping down on hot asphalt, uncoordinated, and it makes her ears twitch in tense response. Her heart pounds quick against her ribs. Her breathing shallows.

“Did you see where it went? KITTY!”

She jumps at the shout, body hitting the side of a bin, but the children don’t notice. The thumps get louder and her body grows warmer, half from anxiety and half from the heat rising off the ground. She waits. If they get any closer, she’ll have to run again, and she’s getting sick of it. All she’s done these past days, it feels like, is run. From handsy children, from the tomcat in the carpark, from that crow that’d swooped down way too close for comfort when she was trying to find a quiet spot to scoff down the small mouse she’d managed to hunt down. 

And the large man. The one with the furry chin who’d tried to put her in the wire cage. She’d run from him for so long, too scared to stop and look back.

She hasn’t had a moment of pause since that man, and she’s tired. 

So she waits. 

She waits, until The Children leave, tired from the heat and frustrated by their failed hunt. And then she waits some more, because she doesn’t know where to go from here. She’s spent days running from everything, and she doesn’t have a place to run to. Not anymore. 

So she settles into the space in-between the coloured bins that’s started to cool now that the sun is going down. She’s tired after all, and a little nap while she waits can’t hurt.

:::

She snaps back awake and the sky is black. It’s the shouting that’s woken her up, two men yelling and posturing and so close to shoving, she can see it. She’s seen this in territorial cats, seen the way they jump and bite and scream, and she knows she needs a new waiting place.

She runs again. Run, runs, runs, over grass, up sidewalks, until she spots the slowly closing door to an apartment building. It looks so familiar, and she wants it to be. Wants to go home even if it’s not hers anymore now that Mama’s not there. The shrinking opening of the door makes her decision for her. 

She runs in. 

And then she stops.

No, it’s all wrong. The smell is all wrong, and the ground too rough and she has a moment of loss again, until she hears someone scream. She turns, but the door’s already shut, and The One Who Screamed is staring at her, eyes wide and nose scrunched. She recognises that look in humans. Bad things can happen when they look at you like that. She turns and runs up the stairs until she sees another door, opening this time, and runs through again.

:::

Robert rushes to close the door, though it’s too late. A giant rat’s just run into the apartment, and now he’s got a giant rat in the apartment. 

He grew up on a farm; the occasional rodent shouldn’t be such an alarming thought to him. But that was a long time ago and farm rats aren’t quite the same as city rats, are they? And this one’s about the size of his foot, from the glimpse he caught before it’d run off into the bedroom.

He considers his options, a way to prolong the inevitable, more than anything. Between the language barrier and the total aversion to neighbourliness, there is no one here he can ask for help. No one who will even answer the door if he knocks. 

Usually, that’s just how Robert likes it. He can’t answer questions if no one can understand him, and no one here has any interest in those answers anyway. Not when they were running from questions themselves. But right now, he misses having someone, even if just to share in this ridiculousness with him. A memory of exasperated blue eyes sneaks in, and he abruptly turns away from it and towards the bedroom. 

If there’s one thing Robert is good at, it’s running from himself. He hadn’t had to, for a while there. Himself hadn’t seemed as terrifying a concept when he had Aaron and Liv and Seb to share it with. His family. His own. Now though, he’s back to running, getting good at slipping away from memories that threaten to bring with them a sweeping sense of guilt. The kind that makes him wake up in cold sweat. 

It makes him wonder what it means that he can slip back into this place so easily, the one where he avoids looking his reflection in the eye and shamefully skids his gaze over the corner of the room where he’s arranged the few mementos he’s kept of his past life: the first shoes he bought Seb, the black hoodie Aaron had worn the day before Robert’d left, and an early draft of Liv’s wedding speech that Robert had found peeking out from under the sofa after coming back from their honeymoon. 

(On his darkest days, it makes him wonder if it’d all been a sham. If he was never actually meant for normal.)

He stops outside the room, turns the light on, and takes a cautious step in when he doesn’t immediately spot the rat.

The room is sparsely furnished, just a dresser next to the window and a rickety, metal-framed bed against a wall. It doesn’t leave many options for a good, giant rat-sized hiding spot. He looks under the bed from where he’s standing. Nothing. Which means it’s behind the door. He takes a breath, and another one. He can do this. He’s not losing to a rat. He peers around the edge of the door, slowly, not wanting to alarm the animal into running straight at him. 

Round, reflective eyes peer back. Not ones belonging to a rat. Well, that’s something at least. A fairly small-sized cat isn’t as intimidating as a giant rat. Feeling more confident, he walks fully into the room and inches the door away from the wall. 

It looks so little, crouched close to the ground like that, staring up at his hands with dilated pupils and ears flat against its head. The cat — black, except for a spot of white on its chin and one of its paws — shifts back against the wall, desperate to put more space between them.

“Here, come on. Out,” He says, gentle but just a touch firm, hoping the tone he used on Seb and Liv will do enough to communicate his authority. 

He jumps back at the force of the resulting hiss, and feels embarrassed at his own skittishness around such a small, clearly terrified animal. Robert reaches a hand out towards it, slowly, giving it the chance to get used to his presence. 

:::

She sees the giant hand coming down towards her, fear striking in her heart, and she’s sick of it all. She’s sick of running. She launches herself forward, teeth bared, snarling, and hooks her claws into pink flesh. Tall Man yells out, falling back on his bum to get away from her. It fills her with pride that he has to shake her off.

“What’s wrong with you, ya little–!” 

Oh, he’s angry now. She slinks back towards the wall, wide eyes staring up at him. He watches her, something in him softening as his face loses its severity. 

“I get it, you know.”

She doubts it.

“Must be scary, being on your own,” he says, so quiet. It makes her ears perk up just a little, fear taking a back seat to curiosity for a second.

He watches her some more, before getting back off the ground. 

“Right. Wait here.”

As if.

She waits for him to leave the room, then runs over to the dresser, hops onto it, and tries to sneak out through the window. Except the bars on the grill are too narrow for her to fit through. 

Well, shit. 

She turns back towards the room. Tall Man was probably off to call Wire Cage Man. And then she will be carted off in the back of the van to the place cats are brought to when they lose their Mamas. 

She looks at the bed. Mama had a bed too. She’d let her sleep on it, curled around her cold feet, even though she had her own smaller bed on the floor. 

Suddenly she’s tired again. She doesn’t know if this mysterious place has beds, so she jumps off the dresser, deciding to take advantage of this one. 

:::

“That’s my bed, you know.”

She’d been too nervous to nap, wondering what was taking Tall Man so long, and had stayed watching the door the entire time he was gone. She watches him step into the room now, a small bowl in hand. Was Wire Cage Man not here yet?

“If you’re staying,—just until I figure out what to do with you—there will have to be rules.”

She knows what’s in the bowl. Can smell it from here. But can she trust it? 

“No getting on my bed.”

Wait. What? Staying?

“Definitely no scratching.”

She’ll be the judge of that, thanks.

“Now. I bought you some cat food. Hope you like chicken and carrots.”

He places the bowl down next to the door, and stares at her. She stares back. He rolls his eyes. 

“Fine. I’ll leave you to it, then.”

She waits until she hears the quiet snick of the door closing, waits a little longer just in case, and then slinks over to the bowl, ears tipped towards the door the whole time. She hasn’t had chicken in a week. She loves chicken. 

:::

Robert checks back in two hours later, having returned from his ‘So You (Temporarily) Have A Feline Roommate’ shopping trip. He’d bought three different cans of food from the shop downstairs earlier (in case the cat was picky), but he knew he’d need a couple more supplies from an actual pet store, if only to avoid any unwanted toilet accidents. Now that he’s back and the litter box has been set up, he walks over to the bedroom and carefully opens the door. 

The bowl was completely cleared off any food, but there were little bits of chicken on the floor around it. A messy eater, then. 

He looks up at the bed. There, right in the middle, lay a small dark form, curled into a tight ball. He wants to take a picture and send it to Aaron. Wants to share in Seb’s excited little squeal as he watches its paw twitch in its sleep. Knows Liv will ask if they can keep the cat, please Robert, as Aaron laughs at him like he already knows the answer. 

He feels something inside him break at not being able to do any of this with his family. But he feels his heart sigh too, at being allowed to finally think of them like this. 

He perches himself on the edge of the bed as the cat wakes up and blinks at him. 

“What did I say about the bed?”

The cat blinks again.

He tries reaching out. This time, he waits as the cat stares his hand down for a few seconds, hyper-alert, before relenting and laying its head back down. He takes that as permission to stroke a finger down between its eyes. 

It doesn’t react. 

That’s a good sign, isn’t it? 

He moves the finger back up to the soft spot behind the cat’s ears. He starts to scratch, but almost stops in shock as the cat unfurls in front of him, stretching its arms out and turning its head back so its chin points up towards him. 

Robert snorts. Finally.

“I’m not keeping you, you know.”

The cat shamelessly pushes its head up against his hand.

It brings up another memory, one he first pushes away on instinct, before allowing back in.

“You remind me of someone,” he tests it out. He hasn’t talked about Aaron since he’d left (not that he has anyone who would care to listen), and Robert feels like what they have– what they had was so big, so unparalleled, so precious, that he can’t allow it to exist in this life. But even that feels like a betrayal of sorts now. What if he pushes and pushes at the memories until they leave him for good?

“Aaron, he–” he stops and starts, words stilted, unpracticed. “You meet him and you think he’s a grump down to his bones, with his mardy face, always yelling at everyone.” He slips into a helpless smile, even as his chin wobbles and his voice cracks open a little at the end. “But he’s a marshmallow, really.” 

It’s a relief, talking about him like that, but it’s edging on too much now. He’s not ready yet to find out what will happen when he unleashes all of Aaron onto this makeshift life of his.

He looks back down at the cat to see it’s fallen back asleep, blissed out on head scratches. 

He smirks. Just like him.

:::

Tall Man keeps saying she can only stay “for a bit, till I figure out how to get rid of you,” but she’s seen him stock the kitchen cabinet with more cat food, and he brought home a rubber ball last night. She knows a lost cause when she sees one.

Apparently, he is having some difficulty finding a no-kill shelter nearby that isn’t already at full capacity. She has no idea what any of that means, but she dutifully listens because Tall Man is also Provider Of Food. 

She hops off the lone chair at the dining table when she hears keys jingle at the front door. She slips between his feet as he walks through the door, rubbing up against his calves and meowing up at him.

“Ff–! Oi! Who’s going to find you a home if I crack my head open, tripping over you?”

Tall Man is also An Idiot.

She flops over on the floor and waits. He steps out of his shoes, and rubs a socked foot down her back as she stretches against the floor. He walks away just as it starts to get good.

“I’ve put up some flyers in the surrounding buildings. Hopefully, someone either recognises you or wants to adopt you.”

They were back to that then. She sulks, walks over to the chair and hops back on, warily observing him read something off his phone. He’s been reading up on cat care—in addition to looking up shelters—and just two days ago, had come up behind her, held her tail up, and stared at her butt, muttering “colon for a boy, semicolon for a girl” to himself. She shudders just thinking about it. 

Tall Man goes to wash her food bowl, complaining about the mess she’s made around it.

“You’re worse than my toddler, you are.”

He talks about his family sometimes. He didn’t really, at the beginning, but it’s happening more often now. He still sounds all choked up when he does, like his voice has forgotten how to work around their names, but he seems determined to get better at it, she thinks. There are moments, though, if he goes on for a little too long about them, where he’ll stop suddenly, looking lost. When that happens, he gets so quiet. Won’t even nag about her tracking litter around. 

She doesn’t know what happened, why he can’t see them, but she now knows about his son, who is “objectively better than other babies I’ve met”, his two little sisters who gave him so much grief, and his Aaron. 

She’d been half asleep the first time he’d mentioned him, but she remembers. She reminded him of this– this Aaron, he’d said. 

Well obviously this was his old cat. And not a very good one, given how saying his name alone could bring him close to tears. He said his name tentatively, quietly, like he’s afraid someone will hear it and take it away from him. And then he’ll go quiet for hours after that. Returning with that haunted, lost look.

She doesn’t much like Aaron. She especially doesn’t like that Tall Man has decided to call her Erin. Like he wants to remember his name without actually having to say it, and she hates it. Hates being named after some other weirdo cat, one who’s ~soooo perfect~, apparently, but still makes her Tall Man cry, and she’s never going to answer to it. 

:::

“Erin?”

No.

“Erin.”

No.

“…Erin, I’ll let you sleep on the bed.”

Fuck’s sake, she hates her life.

She walks into the bedroom, head high, and jumps up onto the bed. Tall Man is laid out on his back, wearing a black hoodie, and looking quite pathetic. 

“Room felt too big.” He smoothes a hand over her head. 

Ah. It’s one of those days. She cuddles up to his side, half on his arm, and waits.

“I just miss him. I miss him so much I feel like i’ll burst from it if I breathe in too deep.” He rubs a finger between her eyes, just like he did that first day. “I thought I’d get to keep it, you now? All of it. I thought it was mine.”

His voice is starting to take on that broken quality, and she noses against his chin. 

“He’s going to hate me for it. And he should. It’ll be better for him if he does, really. But I can’t bear the thought. Not him.”

She can only rub her cheek hard against his chin and whine at the uneven sobs she can feel him bury into her forehead. She may not like Aaron much, but she wants to tell him that he probably doesn’t hate him. Aaron might feel suddenly too small in a too large world built for The Humans, the way she still feels when she remembers screaming for Mama from the back of a van and knowing she couldn’t hear her anymore. And yes, that might make him angry at Tall Man. So angry. But hate? 

She thinks about her afternoons spent watching Mama work from her cat tree, easily accepting the kisses she would press onto her forehead anytime she passed by. And then she thinks about the way Tall Man scratches the base of her tail every time she jumps up onto the kitchen countertop, even as he complains about her germs getting everywhere. 

Aaron won’t hate him. Cats aren’t built like that, she wants to tell him.

She only realises she’s started kneading his chest when she feels herself shift from the weak laugh rumbling under her.

“You’re a sweetheart, aren’t you?”

She sinks a claw in through the hoodie. A clear warning. He laughs again. 

:::

“No,” she hears him say into the phone, long and deliberate, almost spelling out the word. She doesn’t know why he won’t just learn the language. It’s really not that hard. “No cat. No. Bye.” With that, he hangs up and goes to sweep up the litter she’s tracked all over the living room, pausing just long enough on his way, to smack a kiss onto her forehead.

He’s finally caught on, then.

She starts licking her butt, content.

“Erin.”

She looks up. 

He looks back at her, a small, wistful smile etched on. “Aaron would love you.”

She counts to ten, takes deep breaths in and out, and decides she will have to ignore that for his own good. She goes back to her butt.

[miazeklos]

midyear fic roundup (summer 2018)

Tagged by @shirasade (thank you!! ^.^)

Total word count: 86319

Fandoms written in: Shadowhunters, Game of Thrones, Star Wars *speaking of, I’ve included a short description for some of those fics so that people don’t click on things they wouldn’t be comfortable with. Being multifandom is tricky.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? Definitely more.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Why must you make me choose among my babies? But really, it’s most likely an open book with a torn out page, the Jаlec soulmate AU, because I’ve been thinking of it for so long…

Did you take any writing risks this year? Joined an entire new fandom and expanded on my GoT writing to include Jonsa and (only in drafts so far) Jonerys, so, that.

Do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year? So many. Mainly to finish my WIPs, but also a bunch of one-shots I have ideas for.

Best story of the year? Characterisation-wise, I’m particularly proud of the will of a wild bird - it’s only mildly canon divergent and pining serves Jonsa so well.

Most popular story of the year? burning alive, my first Reylo PWP story, which is well ahead of absolutely anything else. They grow up so fast.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Oh, I wouldn’t know. Either of the fics I’ve written for Solo so far, most likely, because the ship they’re for deserves more love in general.

Most fun story to write: Possibly star treatment, both because of the content of it (more Reylo porn, this time even more niche!) and because of the album I listened to while writing it and all the genuinely terrible titles it almost got before it got this (also terrible) one.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: a fire of devotion, perhaps, in which I made Alec selfish as all hell.

Most unintentionally telling story: the world’s unseen, because it’s a self-indulgent piece of writing that serves no purpose apart from admiring nature and Finding Yourself and, eventually, thirsting after Jedi Master Skywalker™, which is basically all I’ve done in this fandom so far anyway.

Biggest disappointment: I still haven’t finished at least two fics I started in the beginning of this year and have instead started approximately four more WIPs. Disappointed but entirely unsurprised.

Biggest surprise: The love that like an absolution, by all means a highly unrealistic post-canon Lannicest fic, got. I received some of the most wonderful reviews I’ve ever had on that fic and am still not over them. ;3

Tagging: @thehemingwaygoldfish, @morgandeeyue, @seb-verlacs, @takaraphoenix, @kimmycup aaaand anyone else who hasn’t done it yet.

[amorremanet]

“what am i writing” meme

Okay, so, @bizeke​ tagged me in a, “what are you writing right now” meme, and I’ve been trying to figure out how I wanted to answer it because, for once in my life, I don’t have a huge pile of WIPs. Like, I’m deliberately trying to rein myself in and refrain from letting the rabid plot-bunnies have their way with my brain to the point that I end up getting nothing done because I get overwhelmed by how many possibilities there are and how many ideas I have.

Let me tell you what: as a Ne-dom (ENTP), this is one of the worst punishments that I could ever imagine and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, like, ever.

But I’m actually trying to stick to it, because it’s in the name of trying to focus on and do right by the project that is my main Thing right now, in basically all areas of life. Unfortunately for my desire for instant gratification, it’s going to be long. I mean, it’s a novel, so that’s part of the deal and one just has to suck it up and live with that, or just never write novels unless you can crank them out at a Stephen King-esque pace. Unfortunately for how much I like the community (and validation!) that comes built in with writing fan-things, it’s also original fic (which is also scary as fuck, but hey).

So, to get this part out of the way first: the “as yet untitled because I suck and titles are hard fml” project is a novel. It’s a superhero story with LGBTQ protags who are also largely neurodivergent, mentally ill, and/or otherwise disabled. The main story concerns a ragtag bunch of misfits — some of them super-powered mutants and some not — who come together in a new team and in just trying to do some good in the world for various reasons (and working together because they all realize that they can’t actually do that much on their own), they stumble into a bigger plot and wind up pitting themselves against a half-shadowy cabal of big deal neo-fascist supervillains (some mutants, and some not, though in their case, the non-mutants are generally treated like pets, rather than people and full team members).

ngl, the three biggest causes for this project were:

1. I needed a new project for my thesis because fuck this shit, I don’t wanna be in grad school anymore, and after having my project jerked around by practically everyone in my department at one point or another, the fanfic thing I settled on wasn’t working and I am really well and truly beyond fucking sick of grad school;

2. I had this one character in particular — the oft-mentioned mutant disaster, Sebastian — who I initially drew up for this game that my Sunday night tabletop group was playing last summer. The idea of there being mutant superheroes was similar, but Double Cross’s system is heavily inspired by the Parasite Eve series of video games, with a little bit from the novel that inspired them (by which I mean that the rule-book is pretty explicit about it; sure, they build on the world in their own ways to give players more options for their characters, and bring in some other influences, but they don’t hide that their primary source of inspiration is Parasite Eve).

Anyway, the Double Cross system relies a lot on character-driven drama and works it into the gameplay (one example is the “Lois” system, where you make up NPCs who help keep your character tethered to their sense of humanity, so they won’t get completely taken over by the shiny super-mitochondria that have gotten inside them and could make them turn into a monster). Additionally, I’ve been playing with my GM, Jake, since we were in high school, and I know that he likes having as much stuff to use against the characters as possible. I also know that it makes games with him more fun because he gets better ideas that way

(which is also why I knew damn well that the short, historical setting horror thing we did in January and February was going to be short, but still gave him a ten-page backstory for my French Jesuit priest that I could’ve backed up with sources for, “yes, this was actually a Thing in early to mid-17th century Paris” or, “yes, this was part of the process of becoming a Jesuit in that time period” had he asked for them)

Which, for Sebastian, meant that I started writing with the intent of it being three things

a brief apology note to Dr. Maeda (a scientist Jake borrowed from Parasite Eve because he’s a really fun character, whom Seb hadn’t really had an altercation with? But with his self-deprecating humor that almost no one else finds funny, Seb had accidentally made Dr. Maeda think that he’d offended him, and he wanted to apologize for that);

one letter to his older brother Max that would’ve been written while Seb was in rehab (which, in an idea that I straight up lifted from Augusten Burroughs’s memoir, Dry, had the prompt, “write to someone close to you and express your feelings about them and your relationship” and it had a lot of instances where Seb quoted something from Oscar Wilde’s De Profundis and somehow, whether fairly on himself or not, connected it to his and Max’s situation, in which he cast himself as a fuck-up on the level of Bosie Douglas. It also had a lot of snarky footnotes);

and one that he would’ve written to Max after the party’s first big adventure together (the major TL;DR point of which was, “ahahahaha, I was trying so hard to get my life together but oh no, shit, I fucked up and everything is terrible, you were right and I was wrong and now I can’t give you all the details of why you were right because the FBI says a lot of it’s classified but you were right and I fucked up and oh my god why” — just… with a lot of tangents and backstory and yet more snarky footnotes)

—but because I’m me, I quickly lost control of that idea.

I figured out the entire timeline of major events (largely but not entirely by hand, and in a few places, there is arguably too much detail, like how I know all of the classes that Seb took in undergrad, where it all fit into his substance abuse history, and exactly how that exacerbated his already Not Good mental health)

I did a lot of writing and a lot more revising and then more writing and then some research — like sketching out a list of TV Tropes that applied to Seb and his backstory, and by, “sketching” I mean that I listed them, and in most cases, I wrote up explanations for why he deserved the tropes or how I was trying to play with them

some of which were fairly brief (e.g., the explanation for his exact brand of being a Stepford Smiler is only 185 words, most of them actually being about how he made it to nearly 30 without having anyone suggest that he might be living with depression)

while others were kinda not (like, the 2,400-word explanation of why he got, “Angst, What Angst?” and “Conditioned to Accept Horror” on his list, which got listed together because they were part of the same larger problem and helped to fuel each other)

I went through multiple versions of all of those letters except the first one (and, in the case of the second, even made the drafts full-on “canon” things in their own right, documenting Seb’s ongoing attempts at paring a draft down enough to share in group therapy, because that was part of the in-universe conceit about why he was writing to Max in the first place)

I added other letters still (like, one to Pete that Seb was writing in rehab, with the in-universe prompt, “list 99 problems that you have that don’t have anything to do with your brother or his wife, because seriously? you’ve been going on about him so much, it’s starting to feel like you’re talking about shit with him in order to get out of talking about anything else in your life”; and one letter to Max that Seb wrote before his first overdose, which would have jossed his, “oh yeah, totally an accident, can I go back to class on Monday please” lie because it was explicitly a suicide note)

—and all up, by the time Jake decided that he was having trouble bringing things together into a larger game after the first adventure, I’d written about one order of words

”Order” here meaning, “a unit of word length measurement equivalent to the length of Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix, i.e. 257,045 words”

—which I exceeded somewhat but not by enough to make too big a difference, not least since most of these drafts will not be making an appearance in the novel itself.

So, I was like, “Well, fuck. I did all of that and we’re not even going to keep playing that game? ……Screw this, I didn’t do all that work for fuck-all nothing, I’ve gotta find something else to do with Seb and his story”

This first necessitated going back to the drawing board, scrapping a lot of the stuff that was directly related to Parasite Eve or Double Cross, or finding a new way to reconfigure it so that it wasn’t just me lifting shit from either of them

Because I’m me, that led to more and more ideas coming up, which in turn pretty much guaranteed that…… okay, yes, Sebastian got to be a POV character first, because in all due fairness, he was here first and the story wouldn’t exist without him…… but he’s not quite, “the main character” in the same way that, say, Harry Potter is (nor would he really want to be)

And TL;DR: this whole thing started because I wanted to help my GM make my character suffer, only for him to drop the game, after which I didn’t want all the work I did to go to waste and be totally meaningless, so hey

and 3. ……Well, I mean. I had a lot of ideas that I kept trying to turn into fanficcy things, but at a certain point, I just had to admit that they would have gotten into, “unless you can show why this is a legit interpretation or development for these characters, it’s going to be OOC” territory

and after enough rounds of this, I gave up and went, “Okay, fuck it, FINE. Rather than try to shoehorn any of my pre-extant fictional faves into these ideas that they do not actually fit into, only for the sake of writing them as fic and getting more or less immediate Validation, I’m gonna go write my own story! With mutants! And canon LGBTQ characters! And canon neurodiversity! Because FUCK IT, that’s why!”

I guess that one could say that I finally hit, “fuck it.”

In universe, the mutant thing isn’t being treated as an oppression allegory in its own right (I say, definitely looking pointedly at the X-Men, but not exclusively at them, because in fairness, they are so not the only guilty parties here), and the issue of metahuman licensing isn’t being used as a metaphor for any example of governments illicitly keeping tabs on oppressed or marginalized people.

Like, there are still major flaws in the system and how it’s enacted on people because it’s the U.S. government, but the entire thing is treated more like taking driver’s ed and going to the DMV because the fact of the matter is that we are talking about people who have shit like super-strength, telepathy, and heat vision, and it’s fair for other citizens to want to make sure that they can control their powers, and that they know and agree to abide by certain laws about how they can and can’t use them

(e.g., yes, it is considered rape if you telepathically coerce someone into sex. Exactly what charges you’ll face vary from state to state, but it’s still rape, and unless there are some seriously extenuating circumstances — like, say, if you have two teenage telepathic mutants who didn’t know that they were mutants and thus couldn’t control their powers, so both of them have broken the law here, but unless there was some other kind of force or coercion involved, neither can be held criminally responsible — you will be prosecuted if you get caught.

Whether or not you get caught is another issue entirely, and it’s a huge mess for a lot of reasons, but in theory, this is how the law works.)

The novel I’m working on now is also going to be the first in a series of four or five — give or take “Dunk and Egg”-esque tie-in stories, mostly because I’m still a Ne-dom and, even without all the world-building being set in stone at present, I’m already attached to and intrigued by several characters and parts of my world that aren’t part of the “main” storyline

(which is, itself, already an ensemble cast production, just with focal/POV characters for each installment because otherwise, I would probably pull a GRRM, get overloaded by all of the different POVs and trying to balance them effectively, and then either die or be photographed running around in a giant hamster ball because I’m trying to run away from my problems that I created all by myself)…

…but also partly because it is annoyingly easier to find potential “legit” places to publish shorter works and get yourself “legitimately” established by putting out some of those first.

You lot get three guesses each as to why I find this annoying, the first two don’t count, and if you guess literally anything but some variation on, “But, Kassie! You’re in the exact same TL;DR club as GRRM! One of your more popular TW fics was a 23k vaguely stream of consciousness beast in which you committed the same literary sin that you bag on Marcel Proust about all the time, because almost nothing actually happened”?

……then I probably love you for having such faith in me, but you have way too much faith in me because… yeah, no. That’s pretty much it. The “legitimate” “grown-up” publishing world’s fondness for short stories annoys me entirely because I don’t like being brief, or cutting things out, or so on and so forth.

Shit, I’m having enough trouble in Pages right now today, because I decided that this one beat in one scene of the novel was getting too far into territory that is actually meant for the chapter right after it, so I’m trying to figure out where to cut it, so I can then relocate the dialogue to where it makes more sense. Trying to be succinct…… is not one of my strong suits, period.

To be fair? The novel… well. It wouldn’t be a Thing without my years in fandom and my immersion in fan culture. It just would not be possible without that part of my background.

On one hand, that’s due to how many ideas I wouldn’t have been exposed to without fandom discussing them in the different ways that we have, and how many things I wound up reading or watching because I saw that other people were enjoying them and I wanted to know what was up, and then all the criticism that I saw from fans of said things about issues of how stories and media are shaped by the sociopolitical structures that content creators live with

And on the other hand, it’s because my story is a literary pastiche that is not entirely a deconstruction of the genre, but rather a recombination of different tropes and pieces of the superhero genre, plus pieces from other genres because fuck the idea that genres can or should be strictly delineated and kept separate from each other at all times that’s why, where I acknowledge that there is little room to actually do anything that is “entirely new” — both in the sense that we’re all influenced, both consciously and not, by everything around us, so you can make the far-end argument that nothing is “purely” or “entirely new,” since that would require things to be made in a vacuum, and in the sense that… well. I mean.

Come on, I’m working in an established genre that has had several different voices and perspectives chime into it in various fashions since it first got started with the original Superman comics in 1938 (and even that is arguably not the start, since the origins of the genre go waaaay the fuck back, and almost no one writing about the genre critically likes to let it just be its own thing without bringing up precedents like Gilgamesh, Heracles, and the Scarlet Pimpernel), and even if I weren’t also bringing in things from outside the superhero genre, I would have no significant chance of doing something that hasn’t already been done at some point, by somebody, somewhere.

Moreover, uh. I get why the Ang Lee Hulk isn’t everyone’s taste, I do. It’s not my favorite anything but any means, but I enjoy parts of it. But that being said, there are, in the superhero genre, certain expectations that certain tropes and story or character elements will appear in some fashion, even if they’re being brutally deconstructed, and Ang Lee tried his best to weasel out of a lot of them because he didn’t want his movie to have the, “stigma” of being, “just a superhero movie.”

Which is a shame, because a lot of his ideas about how he wanted to interpret Bruce Banner as a character, interpret the dynamic between Bruce and the Hulk, and so on? Those actually could’ve been really fun…… but he didn’t want to make, “a superhero movie,” so he ignored the value of all the shit that he should’ve been using to actualize these ideas on the screen, and he had to essentially paste that stuff on like, “Fine, here’s your superhero bullshit, you fucking comic book nerds”

Which all sort of adds up to, “I mean, I’m trying to challenge or play with some of these genre staples — and some of the more optional ones, I’m doing away with because they’re common but not necessary and I think they’re not part of the stories I want to tell, or they’re very particular to certain mediums that are not the one I’m working in — but…… fuck, man, it’s still a superhero story. It’s not like you can’t tell superhero-influenced stories without these things, but if you’re telling a flat-out superhero story, then…… yeah, you kinda do need to at least acknowledge them, and if you don’t have some kind of appreciation for the genre, then why the fuck are you working in it”

(And this is a brief aside to point out that Ang Lee isn’t the only content creator who’s been called a genius and has been guilty of going all like, “fuck superhero stories, they’re just pointless stupid trashy kid stuff for babies, lmao” while also being involved in working on one.

The list is probably even longer than I know, but I feel especially obligated to point out that Heath Ledger had nothing but disdain for the entire superhero genre before playing the Joker in TDK, literally only agreed to do that because Christopher Nolan was involved and Batman Begins had been noticeably “higher-quality” by most people’s standards than the Joel Schumacher Batman movies and the then-extant X-Men movies, and really only seemed to have come around about the quality of certain stories that he read as character prep — like The Killing Joke, The Man Who Laughs, and Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth

—and frankly, he and Nolan both seem(ed) to see those stories [plus a handful of others, in Nolan’s case] as special exceptions were, “not like all the rest of the genre,” rather than seeing them as indications of what the entire genre can be capable of.

Which is not to say that I acknowledge the validity of any other non-Cesar Romero live-action Joker, because unless someone really wows me or they come up with an idea that Mark Hamill could do live-action and managed to talk him into it, that’s probably not going to happen, and both Nicholson and Leto can eat me because they were just awful as the Clown Prince of Crime. Awful in different ways, admittedly, but still. Just. AWFUL. Absolutely abysmal.

It’s also not to say that the superhero genre is entirely awesome, since… lmao, Sturgeon’s Law, people. 90% of everything is probably some kind of bullshit. It can be entertaining bullshit, sure, but it’s probably still some kind of bullshit.

What I am trying to say, though, is that the entire genre is not special for having a lot of bullshit in it, because frankly, EVERY GENRE has mostly a lot of bullshit in it, so holding the superhero genre to some special double standard is ridiculous and elitist, and no, we shouldn’t look at things like Watchmen, A Serious House on Serious Earth, or anything else you might want to put on a, “special exceptions” list as being separate from the genre that spawned them.

They’re superhero stories. Barring some examples like Watchmen that have characters that were new when they first came out, these stories literally have characters like Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman running around, having adventures and fighting bad guys. Being of an allegedly, “higher quality” than any random issue you pick off the rack on Wednesday does not mean that they aren’t superhero stories

—and I realize that most of the people reading this already probably kind of feel the same about the elitist nonsense that goes on regarding pretty much every example of genre fiction, except for like big-budget sci-fi and fantasy that either sticks to very conventional models, and/or is written and/or directed by someone we might call an Auteur™, like Ridley Scott, James Cameron, or Guillermo del Toro, or like GRRM would be called if he made movies

……but this tendency grinds my gears anyway because the fuck what even, people. All of the genre fiction that gets bagged on like this has an established history with enough examples to prove that they are is just as widely varied in content and “quality” as yet another movie about a cis white dude and a cis white lady who want to be together but they can’t because of Reasons Or Something, wow such innovation, very forbidden, etc. etc. obviously NO ONE has EVER told a story like this before in the entire history of human storytelling, ha ha ha, GAG)

But anyway, as I was saying. Pastiche or something.

Still, it’s not a deconstruction properly because as much as I love and am creatively indebted to some of them — with Watchmen on the, “it has problems but I overall love it even if I don’t always agree with what Alan and Dave had to say or how they said it” side, The Dark Knight Returns on the, “Frank Miller can go step on a rusty nail and get tetanus, what a douchebag” side,

Deadpool in general on the, “I mean, I respect that you have a vision of what kind of fourth wall-breaking self-aware hijinks you want to get up to, and I enjoy it sometimes, but on one hand? For all I don’t agree with everything that’s said in Wisecrack’s “Philosophy of Deadpool” video, I do think it’s fair to say that you guys often have a lot in common with hipsters, and that you have the potential to do cool shit like Cervantes did Don Quixote, but that you often don’t go as far as you could with it, which can sometimes be kinda disheartening. More importantly, though, your vision is cool and has a place at the table too, but it’s not MY vision, so you do your thing and I’m gonna do mine and if I ever do get published, I hope I can meet Gail Simone because I would just die” side

and several others falling at various points of somewhere in the middle and shit — uhhh? It’s just??? Like?

I just… don’t… really… want to write a massive deconstruction?

I mean. I enjoy reading some of them (or there are others like TDKReturns, where it’s less that I enjoy them and more that they’re important to the genre’s history but I hate them and the only reason I haven’t literally set fire to my copy of that book is that…… shit, man, that thing was expensive, and if I set it on fire, I’d have to either buy a new one or get a .cbr file for free, which would be illegal and I obviously do not condone it, nope, not at all, nudge wink ssssh)…

and I won’t deny that they’ve influenced how I approach the genre as both a reader and as a creator (I mean, ffs, I have a minor character who was literally inspired by a mix of Rorschach and my desire to petulantly piss off every fucking dudebro fanboy who reads Watchmen and doesn’t get that Rorschach is supposed to be seen as completely reprehensible. Yes, he’s a different kind of reprehensible from Eddie Blake and Adrian Veidt, but all of them are still pretty reprehensible, that’s kind of the fucking point. The only so-called “heroes” in Watchmen who accomplish anything of major historical significance are either completely reprehensible, or they’re Doctor Manhattan and so far removed from their former sense of humanity that they might as well be on a different existential plane entirely)

……but, for all I enjoy deconstructions, I don’t want to write one, personally.

And anyway, the original point to all of this is that my story wouldn’t exist as it does without fandom because, on one hand, I got exposed to pretty much all of this through/because of fandom, or while I was in fandom; and on the other, the way that fandom relies so much on envisioning new possibilities for characters and stories, and combining seemingly disparate elements into new shapes, and mashing up tropes and ideas that don’t seem to go together but finding a way to make it work…… like?

That’s shaped me so much as a writer, even outside of fandom, that I don’t know where to begin finding examples of it in action, because it’s just everywhere in my writing tbh. And I don’t think that it makes anything I’m doing, “new” as such, because I’m probably overly aware of what most of my different influences are and how they’ve influenced me in which ways and so on…… but I don’t need or want to completely reinvent the wheel, I just want to have fun making up my stories and maybe bringing in something that other people enjoy and can read without feeling like their time was wasted, y’know?

…also, I will totally admit to certain fandom mainstay tropes and idioms having different degrees of influence on my story, and to deliberately trying to work in phrases like, “to toe out of one’s shoes” that are almost exclusively found in fanfiction because…… uh, I know where I came from, and while I might have various problems with where I came from on a pretty much constant basis, I still love and respect where I came from, so why not use some of our idioms and popular tropes?

………also? I’m doing it because I want to, that’s why.

Just like how there was no actual NEED, as such, for me to make Yael and Elizabeth a deliberate middle-finger to Marvel and their penchant for baiting Cherik, and then screaming, “OH WAIT NOOOOOPE, NO HOMO, DON’T LET’S BE SILLY, CHILLAX YOU STUPID FANGIRLS!!!!” — like I could’ve had them in the story and the world without doing that…

…but I wanted to do that, so I’m gonna do that, and since I’m not violating any copyright or intellectual property laws because what I’m doing doesn’t rip off anything more than general concepts that Marvel has no exclusive or protected ownership of, and even if it did, what I’m doing would count as a commentary or satire and be protected by the First Amendment and the US Supreme Court, therefore no one can do shit about shit to stop me from having my two badass older lady lesbians who are, in fact, married and are co-headmistresses of their school for the exceptionally gifted. Nah nah nah nah nah nah, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

(……………I am a serious adult writer who takes her writing seriously. …also, I’m sorry, and I’m done now, and thank you for reading if you have, and if you got to this finishing point, please go help yourself to like…… a cookie. Or five. Or idk, any kind of treat you want, I don’t know you and I’m not your boss, so I can’t guess what your idea of a treat is much less tell you what to do. Okay, I’m done now, bye)

ETA: ……oh, and I guess that I tag whoever wants to do this themself, because I just spent a few hours writing it and I don’t wanna look at it anymore, not even to pass the meme on, so…… heeeey, free invite, you can do a meme just because you want to and then blame me

[koriellewriting]

【ＩＮＴＥＲＴＷＩＮＥＤ|ＰＲＯＬＯＧＵＥ  】

I thought in honour of setting up my ko-fi account i’d give everyone something to look forward too and in the future. This is the draft of Intertwined’s prologue and people can be sure they’re interested in it.

 "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

Danielle looked at him, groaning," I hate surprises."

"That's not true Dani, I surprised you yesterday."

"Yeah, we walked all the way to the field on the outside of our sector." She lamented as they kept walking. "Where we're going now better be amazing." She concluded as she walked along after him, though that didn't stop her from groaning just more.

"We are almost there, please relax."

"Carry me?"

"Well, when you ask like that," there was a pause before he answered her. "No."

"You're so mean to me. That's it. I'm walking home." She went to turn and go the opposite way as she felt Sebastian pick her up in a piggyback so she wouldn't have to walk. "I take it back, you're the best."

He snorted, a small grin flashing across his face. "Yeah, and you're going to keep thinking that."

"Don't push your luck, Sebastian."

"Oh full name big words."

"Shut up."

There was a moment of silence before Danielle perked up upon hearing an unusual humming sound vibrated in the air. It sounded like a swarm of bees. Then the droning transferred to the rock below their feet. It traveled through her body, and she felt a tingle that ran up to her fingertips. As they rounded the corner and the source of the sound revealed itself.

"This is really, "Danielle started to say as she hopped off his back and looked around.

"––beautiful? I know." Sebastian replied as he looked around sighing a bit. "I have something to tell you."

Danielle glanced over at him as she set her jacket down to sit on top of it as she looked at him," what's up?"

"My father is remarrying." He started off.

Danielle looked perking up just slightly." That's amazing–" she then frowned nothing his tone of voice," what's wrong?"

"I'll have to move."

"Oh." She said softly looking over at the water below. "Hey, it can't be too bad, you've put up with me this long what makes you think you're getting rid of me that easily?"

"Well, for one, my father isn't inviting your family to the wedding, won't tell me why."

Danielle thought a moment before she spoke, she couldn't worry about that, now anyway." Can't believe this. Old one–"

"I'm three years older than you."

"Old One, we will always be friends regardless of your dad who hates me, no matter what we've got each other's back."

Sebastian looked as he laid back," profound for a twelve-year-old."

"I literally turn thirteen in a few months."

"One month being precise." He moved his hand to his pocket, feeling around he had gotten something since he knew this was happening before he'd even get an opportunity to celebrate with her.

Danielle looked as she laid bad as well her head the opposite side of his as she glanced up." Remember when I was taller than you? Those were great times. Then you went away for ages and  came back like a giant."

"Don't joke like that, my mother would have and then throw a cow."

Danielle let out a laugh as she picked up some of the grass in her hand, dropping it on Sebastian's stomach as she sighed tiredly. "I'll miss you." She said honestly.

Sebastian looked over as he thought a bit picking a few flowers dropping them in her hair as she spoke, he didn't know what he wanted to tell her about that, "Of course, who else is going to bring you food?"

"You never bring me food. I bring food."

"Because you are learning to bake."

"You're learning magic, which is cooler."

"I'll teach you myself?"

"Well, now I'm holding you to that."

Sebastian perked up as he pulled out a small box, saying a few things which caused the box to enlarge to about necklace size. "Though not now." He thought a moment looking at her. "Open it."

"I have to sit up now." a low groan emerged as she moved where she was leaning on him lazily sitting up.

He laughed a bit. "Just open it."

Inside the black box which was decorated with a rosewood red and gold insignia, it was his family crest. Upon opening the box inside of it was an intricately designed decorative chain, it was a relatively simple bronze chain with red jewels adorning it from the center of the cuff on the wrist up to the chain to the base of the middle finger, with smaller smoky black diamonds that surrounded the flower detail around the red jewels. It definitely not for the size of her hand now. But, maybe one day she could wear it, he had thought ahead when he had it made.

"Rubies?" Danielle looked at the piece of jewelry with some confusion," And it's way too big for my hand, you know? Plus emeralds or–" she trailed off, laughing softly. "I'm joking, I do love it. It's beautiful, though I have no reason to wear it."

"Wear it to remember me because Orissa, the red jewels are my favorite and I have one with Emerald to remind me of you." He explained as he dropped a few more flowers in her hair.

Danielle looked down at the box closing it back she's put it up in her room when she got back to her house. Looking back up, resting her head back on his stomach, closing her eyes as she spoke.

"You promise we'll always be friends, Seb?"

"No," he replied, hiding his laugh as he continued the act of plucking flowers and dropping them on her hair.

"Sebastian, that's not funny," the young girl responded as she stood up, walking away from him. Shaking her afro free of the flowers, the twelve-year-old had enough.

"I'm joking, Dani. Come back, please," he called as he kept his spot, laying on the ground. He groaned. He felt that, at fifteen, he was too old for this. "Danielle, please. I was joking."

"You do it every time," she muttered, walking back towards her house, though the trek from the field where they were back to their home was a long one. Danielle realized Sebastian could carry her, but her stubbornness was telling her to keep going.

"Dani, you're leaving without me?"

"Yes."

Of course, at that, he began to follow her thinking.

"We won't always be friends because you said you were going to marry me," he said.

"Hey!!" she said defensively. "That was a joke. I can't marry you; we're friends. Besides, I don't even like you like that."

"Anymore," Sebastian added.

"I don't like you.“

[ecotone99]

[RO] Life in chapters (First Draft)

Premise: Things are finally looking up for Sebastian. He and Tyson have landed their first real start up client for their marketing agency, and now they look forward to meeting the new hires. But Sebastian would never in a million years guess that the new Lead Web Developer would be his ex-wife.

Episode one:

A failed marriage.

Weight gain.

Unhealthy lifestyle.

Sebastian could go on and on about the negative things that have happened to him in the last year. Life sucked.

Why waste another day, hour or minute living…

He never thought of doing “that”, but there have been times he wanted to lie in bed all day. If Sebastian never saw the sun again, that wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen.

But if he did that, he and Tyson wouldn’t be standing in their very own office. The one positive thing to happen.

“It’s about time we’ve got our own place. No more apartment work.” Tyson said.

They stood with their heads high and hands in their pockets. They’ve been in business for about a year and a half. Recently they landed their first “real” client. A startup company that created mobile games. The company wanted to go all in with their ideas and they set aside a huge marketing budget.

That’s where Sebastian and Tyson come in.

Sebastian was the copy-writer. His job consisted of persuading the hell out of people. Try to sell the next flappy bird through email, landing pages, etc.

Tyson handled the face-to-face meetings and kept the clients happy. He also loved crunching numbers — an analytical mind.

Until now, they’ve been doing everything themselves for small mom and pop companies. Now they’ve entered the big leagues. The time came to make some hires. Another thing Tyson excelled at.

“Bet you never thought we’d have our own employees, huh?” Tyson asked.

Being a boss terrified Sebastian. He swallowed.

Tyson noticed. “You’re nervous.”

“It’s just… you know — that kind of stuff ain’t my thing. That’s why I had you do all the hiring. I guess I didn’t give much thought until now how all these recent hires will look at me as a leader. It will take some getting used to.”

Tyson patted Sebastian on the back.

“You’ll be fine, bud.” Tyson said. “You always sell yourself short. We wouldn’t be where we’re at now without the skills you contributed.”

And with that Tyson moved off, heading to his office. He was right. The constant worrying would come to an end. Sebastian could use this to turn his life around. No more looking for a pity party or looking for handouts. Life gave him a chance to start new.

Besides, how hard would it be to lead a group of employees?

____

They were all so young. What the hell was Tyson thinking? Sebastian examined them as they settled into their desks. He greeted them at the door earlier and talked to a few of them. Sebastian was 26, but talking to them, standing amongst them, he felt old.

Ancient.

His assistant, Dale, the 19 years old, spent one year in college before dropping out. He said the experience took too much brain power and time.

What did he think work would be like? And he’s supposed to assist me!

Then there was Audrey. Sebastian felt his cheeks warming up.

Snap out of it!

She was 19 and didn’t even go to college. She would be the social media manager. Did she know what she was doing?

Audrey had this school girl, innocent vibe about her — it would affect a man’s thinking - Tyson's thinking.

This wasn’t like Tyson at all to make choices like this, but they came this far trusting each other.

“Hello, sir?” Dale poked his head into Sebastian’s office. “Is this desk right here going to be mine?”

He pointed at the desk resting on the other side of the glass wall.

Sebastian nodded.

“Perfect,” he set his things down, entered the office, reached out his hand. “I didn’t get to say it earlier in front of everyone, but I look forward to assisting you, and learning as much as I could.”

Sebastian shook his hand.

“And I look forward to teaching, Dale. Do you have any experience at all with copy-writing?”

“No,”

“Okay… Do you know what a copy-writer is?”

“Is it alright if I am honest? I didn’t know what that meant before the interview.”

“Well, what did you think you were applying for?”

“I saw that it was a marketing agency, and saw the word writer, so I figured I’d be writing a couple articles here and there.”

“That’s a content writer,”

“Yes. Tyson informed me of that… during the interview. But he looked over some of my work and -”

“Give me one second... I gotta go talk to Tyson.”

“Please, sir,” Dale said. “I need this job and I’m a fast learner, I promise.”

“I’m sure you are. Just um, don’t worry. You’re fine.”

Sebastian exited his office and made his way to Tyson, but Audrey popped up out of nowhere.

“Good morning!”

“Uh, good… morning.”

Keep your eyes up.

He didn’t remember her cleavage bulging out earlier. She must know what she’s doing, yet she stood there with glistening eyes, hands cupped in front of her.

Now Sebastian felt like a pervert.

“I didn’t get a chance to get to know you, when you talked to us earlier… kinda wanted to introduce myself a little more.” Audrey said.

“I’m headed to Tyson’s office but we can talk later.”

“I’ll walk with you!”

“You don’t have to do that,”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.”

They started walking. Well, Sebastian walked… Audrey skipped. Which would have been fine if it wasn’t for the unhooked button on her blouse.

“So, this is like my first ever actual job,” she started. “I don’t really know how things work in offices, other than what I’ve seen on shows and read in books. It’s kind of embarrassing. But anyway, I try to be a friendly person and I want to be friends with everybody here at the office. Even the boss…”

“That’s good. We want a friendly environment here, so that’s perfect. We can use more people like you not only in the office but also in the world.”

“Wow, aren’t you philosophical? I like that.”

Sebastian smiled and glanced down at her.

Oh, boy.

He stopped, and she followed suit.

“Um, I hope I’m not overstepping, but you might want to, uh…”

Sebastian acted like he had an unhooked button on his shirt, and with imagination hooked it back up. It looked stupid, but she got the point. Audrey glanced down at her breast and blushed. She buttoned it up, and giggled.

“Is that why you were blushing the entire time?”

“What? No... I wasn’t blushing. I wasn’t even staring or anything-”

“I’m kidding,”

The moment became awkward. Sebastian swallowed hard.

What’s with this girl?

“I take jokes too far.” She gives a cute smile. “Sorry,”

“It’s fine,” Sebastian fidgets and gives a smile.

“You’re the jittery type, huh?”

“Okay, let’s talk about you…” He steered the conversation away from his awkward social skills. “You said you didn’t go to college earlier… What highschool did you graduate from?”

“I got my GED from the community college down the road from my house.”

“Really?”

What the hell, Tyson?!

“I imagine being young and all, you got a lot of experience with social media managing, huh?”

“Just with my stuff,”

Tyson was walking back into his office from the break room.

“Tyson!” Sebastian yelled out.

The entire office went silent. Audrey squinted as she got the brunt of the yell. Sebastian apologized to her and excused himself.

___

Once they got into the office, Sebastian closed the door behind him. Tyson sat at his desk and took a sip of his coffee.

“You didn’t tell me you were hiring high school musical,”

Tyson chuckled, “What?”

Sebastian gestured to outside the office, but Tyson still wasn’t following.

“Everybody out there just graduated highschool,”

“That’s a bit of an exaggeration, Seb.”

“Is it? My point is everyone out there is younger than us!”

“And that’s a problem?”

“C’mon you know what I mean. I thought the people we hired would be our age or older. Maybe two 19-year-olds here and there… What I’m trying to get at is, where are the credentials? Almost everyone I talked to dropped out of college. What experience do they have?”

“To be fair, you’re a college drop out too.”

“Yeah, but do you see what I had to do to get a job? I had to start my company earning peanuts because no one wanted to touch me without experience or a degree.”

“And I thought because of that, you of all people would welcome these guys.”

“I am. I just wasn’t expecting the entire staff to be like that.”

Tyson grinned. The grin that could calm storms.

“It’s gonna be alright, Seb. I promise. I wouldn’t have hired these people if I didn’t see something special.”

Sebastian nodded, then smiled. “What did you see special in Audrey?”

Tyson burst into laughter, “I’m gonna be honest, man. I don’t remember much about that. I know she was mad cute and very persuasive.”

“Yeah, I bet,”

They share a laugh again. Sebastian stared through the glass. The group of inexperienced people littered the open area. Sebastian and Tyson had their work cut out for them. But together they would overcome it like they’ve done with everything else.

“So did we really have nothing the experienced people wanted?” Sebastian asked. “Are we that bad?”

“There were a few that wanted the job, but the salary budget happened to be much lower than I thought. We can’t afford them. No degree and no experience comes a lot cheaper.”

Sebastian nodded in agreement. Tyson set his coffee cup down. A sigh escaped his lips..

“I got to tell you something, man. We hired one person with a degree, and a sizable chunk of the budget went to her… But I’m gonna need you to keep an open mind about this-”

“What the hell is she doing here!?”

Sebastian felt like the floor beneath him became the ocean, and he would lose his footing any second.

Why the hell is Valerie here?!

To Be Continued...

​

*Hope you guys enjoyed it. I have goals for this project, but it's still a little ways off, so I figured I share it with the Reddit community. Please let me know how you liked it. And I'd love to read things you've guys wrote.

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