#anyways i took this from a post awhile ago it still makes me LOSE IT

[jessjustplay]

I finished playing Final Fantasy X (again)

October 22, 2023

Game: Final Fantasy X HD Remaster First Time/Replaying: Replaying Game Time: 40 hours Console: Nintendo Switch Started: December 5, 2022 Finished: October 21, 2023

I finished this game last year in February, but some time in December I got an itch to play it again. At the time of my initial replay, I didn't have a TV so I played the entire thing on my tiny Switch screen. Now that I had somewhere to dock the Switch to, I wanted to re-experience the story again on a big TV!

So yes, I started Final Fantasy X back in December 2022 and it's taken me almost a year to finish it. In my defense, I have been playing a lot of other games! FFX was sort of just a back-burner, in-between-playthroughs type of game.

However, a few days ago I picked it up and could not put it down. Once you get past a particular area (that blasts an annoying announcement on-repeat the ENTIRE time), the game is very fun and picks up speed as the story unravels. I also decided I wasn't going to "do everything" which threw out a lot of that anxiety.

I have a PS4 now, so I thought, "If I'm going to 'do everything' I might as well go for a Platinum trophy!" I'm glad the Switch doesn't have a trophy system because it lets you enjoy the games without worrying about marking tasks off a list, but with how annoying FFX's side-quests are, if you're going to put yourself through that pain, you might as well get some sort of accolade!

I have no idea when I will start my Platinum attempt, but I really would like to try one day. I've played this game SO many times sinc eI was a kid - why not? People on Instagram telling me I should go for an easier Platinum trophy not only annoys me, but also makes me want to do it even more.

SPOILERS START HERE

Anyways, the endgame of this playthrough was really exciting! I told myself I wouldn't be getting an extra aeons or any of the ultimate weapons, so it was nice just walking around, leveling up, and going into boss fight after boss fight.

Normally, I would have Yuna's ultimate weapon and her Break Damage Limit would save the day! But this time I didn't have that and I relied HEAVILY on Bahamut to save our skins.

Seymour #2 took me two attempts, the Zanarkand Guardian was one attempt, the Zanarkand Trials Glyph Monster Dude took me 3 or 4 tries, Yunalesca was one attempt (!), Seymour #3 was one attempt (!!), and Braska's Final Aeon was ALSO one attempt (!!!).

I was surprised I was able to do do the final leg of the endgame in one attempt without dying. Not to mention, whie fighting Braska's Final Aeon, he petrified Wakka and that man disappeared! I was tempted to restart the game but then I thought, "It's not like I'm getting any EXP from this fight!" So I BEAT THE GAME WITH TWO CHARACTERS ONLY. At one point, Lulu and Yuna had less than 200 HP and I was freaking out!

What saving me was summoning Bahamut once, getting LUCKY AF that he didn't die, dismissing him, then using Yuna's overdrive to summon him again. I also used Auron to zombie Jecht and that helped for awhile, and I used Tidus's talk command once and that 100% saved Lulu and Yuna from dying. *THANK GOD*

Here are my final stats:

While I was more critical of the game this time around (more on that in another post), I still enjoyed this game and it will always be special to me! It's interesting though, I used to cry a lot watching the ending of this game, but this time I didn't. It's official - I'm old lol

When you're young, losing the person you "love" seems like the end of the world, but as you get older you learn people come and go. Yuna, you are 17. You will find someone new!!!

I did, however, cry during that one scene watching Yuna's sphere of messages (after beating the Zanarkand guardian boss). IT IS SO SAD!!! 😭 I felt my throat closing up watching that (specifically the Kimahri part). KIMAHRI, YOU'RE THE BEST! I need to write a Kimahri appreciation post.

[davekat-sucks]

After reading your recent posts about wanting to distance yourself from homestuck eventually makes me feel bad too send asks because it means more homestuck is being streamlined to you

About a year ago i dropped homestuck after losing interest once again (this happens on and off) and only got into it recently because i currently can't really play video games at the moment so i ended up returning to homestuck. I think a big reason why i can get back into it so easily is because its FREE all you need is an internet connection and you get the massive amount of content from the comic and fandom, there's just soo much too engaged with even if it's not all good. Despite all my problems with Homestuck i still do like it but one thing i wish is What Pumpkin would just let it go, HS2 and Hiveswap are dumpster fires. It feels like they're milking a dead cow, this series would be better off if the poor decision making stopped at the comic itself. I just want it to be left untouched by a company and have it be supported by the love of the fanbase. I'm homestucked out but i like the character enough and shipping them as well will probably keep me hooked for awhile.

I guess I'll throw in what i was originally going too say anyway. I think homestuck took a massive drop in writing quality after murderstuck. Like why is everyone just standing on the meteor? You guys aren't going to get more serious after all that? Was there any reason as to why no one could've texted John or Jade while separated? I genuinely don't remember there being a reason. I thought Kanaya coming back to life was stupid, the Gamzee and Terezi thing gross, Rose being an alcoholic then drunk making out with Kanaya also being gross, Karkat and Dave being bystanding asshole during all this, Wayward Vagabond being practically a stuffed animal, like what is this? After murderstuck you could definitely feel the decline but there where some decent moments spread out afterwards with Caliborn being the main one stealing the show. I think Hussie really liked Caliborn, you can tell he had so much fun writing him. I like to believe Hussie went wild with Caliborn because he could get away with all the edgy stupid stuff with him because he's a villain, Hussie had obviously gave into the demands of the fans and i think even he got tired of it, Caliborn was the perfect blank slate for him to have some real freedom in writing again, Caliborns character is really in line with Hussies older sense of humor. Despite still giving into demands every other time, Caliborn got too be want Hussie actually wanted. Oooh Caliborn how you almost saved Homestuck, at least you get to be the best character in the end.

It's fine to still send asks about Homestuck here. Moving on doesn't happen overnight and I'm often sticking around more to speak out about the flaws. From the series itself, the fandom, or the current culture that surrounds it. It can be applied to other groups like those who like anime, comics, video games, etc. Homestuck is just one niche I focus on because I'm familiar with it. There are many other people online that talk about these similar topics that do it better than I ever could. But I agree that WhatPumpkin should just let the base webcomic end just there. No need to focus more on Epilogues, Homestuck^2, or Homestuck Beyond Canon. Let people interpret their own endings. Homestuck may not have been able to leave a mark in media history like what Undertale or FNAF did, but it's better to let it end there as it is. The story really felt going down after Murderstuck. Cascade was probably the only greatest thing left behind. Then Act 6 kicked in. There are many plot holes and questions to be raised about it. From things like why can't Dave/Rose or the other living trolls on the meteor use Trollian or any of their communication devices like they had before? There's nothing said about their travel to the Alpha Session will block communication between the two parties. I hate how Dave and Karkat stood on the sidelines as Rose/Kanaya and Gamzee/Terezi go through hell with their problems. Why wasn't Wayward Vagabond doing more to try and communicate with the others? Can Town and being a mayor is his dream, but we have seen him become a leader of his own to his own people. WV had communicate with John to act as his Exile, so why not the same with Dave, Rose, and the other living trolls? Where was he when the others went into the Dream Bubbles? Carapacians are not allowed there? Is still on the meteor to 'protect' the base? Was that the only time they left him alone like he was some housepet? Wouldn't it be better to have Wayward Vagabond that's now revived, stay on the Prospitian ship that John and Jade were on so that they could be with Dave and Rose? Wayward Vagabond would have a better time to try and get all the Carapacians to be ready when they arrived in the Alpha session. Where were the Carapacians by Post Retcon and Collide? By Post Retcon, the ones on the Prospitian ship and those with Roxy should be alive by then. Casey also was there to summon undead consorts during Jake vs The Felt fight. Wouldn't that mean the other consorts were still there Prospitian ship that John and Jade were on, could have joined the battle? There are too many plot holes and vague answers still around because of Act 6 and Post Retcon that it makes people question the quality and how the story was leading up to this. I do believe as well that Caliborn was the only way for Hussie to let himself use his old edgey humor. Dave and Dirk were there, but those two had their character development and he needed another being to stand in his place. Other characters that fit would have been dead and he had to come with some bullshit reason to bring them back. So it's better to make an original OC than to reuse another character. Caliborn really was the best as he really made lots of changeups and excitement to the series. If not only in narrative standpoint, but also in meta in the sense that he was able to change the website readers would be on. You had to be there with old flash to see him banging on the console that the link and panel you were trying to read, shook with every hit and everything gets scrambled and falling apart. Calliope hasn't done anything like that despite that we are suppose to root for her as the good guy that will join the heroes. Caliborn is just that amazing. Act 6 may have been carried by people like Dirk and Roxy, but Caliborn flexed it up high like Atlas did with the World.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Grief

There was an article a few days ago about video games and grief - mostly about how, while gaming’s always been a good way of taking your mind off grief, recently games have actually been actually dealing with the subject as a main part of the plot. Which, because sometimes my brain works like someone bouncing subject to subject via Wikipedia links, brought me to something a good friend of mine said awhile ago. Because given the games I’ve been playing of late, and how much I’ve been enjoying them, a few things are becoming clear.

See, back in December, when we had that cold snap and there was snow and ice on the roads and no one was salting anything? I posted on my Facebook that I was kind of sad about the situation. I was born in Montreal. I learned to walk on ice-slick pavement ... well, at the same time as I was learning to walk at all. That instinct never left me, either. Now it’s just that ... well, unless I want to put some version of mountaineer’s spikes on the foot of my cane, the damn thing would be a liability. I’m not even sure that would work, and certainly wouldn’t be good in places where the ice was thin. Anyway, fibromyalgia means I can’t walk on ice the way I used to, and I definitely couldn’t risk the fall. So I was a little sad about that.

My friend talked about “the folly of comparing ourselves now to ourselves then” and "comparison is the thief of joy” and something about how we’re different and we shouldn’t look at that poorly. And it took awhile to really understand why I was so upset at him about it. I know he meant well, so I didn’t say anything, but after awhile, I figured out the words I needed for this (though far too late to actually call him on it). The words were these:

“Let me fucking grieve, godsdamnit!”

Because I am. I am grieving for what I could do before everything was made of pain. It’s a process. It’s a long, miserable process, but it’s an important one. It’s like losing a friend or a family member - life goes on, yes, but you’re probably going to end up tripping over something that reminds you of the loss at random intervals for the rest of your life. So, yeah, I’m sad when I realise that I can’t walk on frozen streets anymore - not because “I should be able to do this because I have places to be and I’m letting someone down”, but because “That skill is one of the last things that I in and of myself keep from the place where I was born; that’s a piece of of myself that sings of home, and it’s gone and it’s never coming back”.

There are a lot of things that are gone and they’re never coming back. A careless grocery shop where I don’t have to read the labels of every fucking thing that goes into my cart. Day trips to fun parts of the city. Late night walks in the summer to cool down. Running for buses. Conventions (though I will take the risk if the Critical Role crew ever reschedule the MCM Comic Con appearance they had to miss because it was during the early-ish days of Covid). The cinema. Travel to any significant degree. A general sense that I will at least be able to get up and function most mornings. Umbrellas (because holding up an umbrella for any length of time hurts like hell). Boogieing to music on my headphones (unless it’s a very good day). There’s always something I’m finding I can’t do because it hurts too badly to do it, and thus I grieve in small stages over this one huge loss.

So I think games like I Am Dead and Lost Words: Beyond the Page and Spiritfarer helped me because they reminded me that it’s okay to be grieving. There are stages of grief for a reason; they don’t make the grief go away, exactly, but they teach us how to cope with it. Of course, I don’t know that I’ll ever get to the ‘acceptance’ stage, or maybe I’m already there, I don’t know. Just because you’ve accepted the loss doesn’t mean you’re not going to still feel sad or angry or disappointed or all of the above when another facet of that loss comes knocking.

...I guess the only difference is that if it’s a person you’re grieving for, you can say things like, “They would have loved this”, or imagine them watching you from Wherever Comes Next and cheering you on, or something else that lets you still feel close to the person who’s gone. That’s harder to do with ... you know, physical health. Maybe that’s why I started gardening, and being more inventive in cooking, soon after my diagnosis - just to feel closer to “active and abled and Doing Things”, I don’t know. I reap the benefits either way.

Point being ... yeah, most of the time I’m all about, “Yeah, I’m used to it”. But sometimes I’m not. Sometimes I’m angry or sad or asking what I did to deserve this. And that’s probably always going to be the case. But it’s just ... a lot bigger than “comparison is the thief of joy”. Because comparison is not the thief of joy. Even with the fibromyalgia, I look at who I am now compared to who I was ten years ago and I am just ... so much better. But ... I can’t even want “just one day without pain” because I know - I absolutely know - that if I had total relief from pain for one day, that pain would feel worse when it came back. But sometimes I wish for it anyway. I wish it was easier. I wish it hadn’t happened. I have to carry on having a life, obviously, and I do so as well as I can with my current limitations. Hell, in some ways I’m doing better than I was before the diagnosis.

Just ... please never ask me not to be sad about it. I am allowed to be sad about it. And angry. And frustrated. I am grieving, and as long as I’m doing it in a healthy way (which I think I am; I can certainly function, at least), I fucking deserve to grieve. And if some of the help I’m getting to keep the grieving process healthy involves video games? ...Hey, I love video games, so silver lining.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No way that’s actually so cool…. that mindset is actually just really impressive to me because if I was not as interested in something I feel like instead I’d just be less motivated to make it a masterpiece! You COOKED for your event fr I got converted via your event and works generally into liking or even just appreciating some characters more (I’m ngl I think white butterfly was one of my favs too something about the story was just so >>>>> started my conversion to Hiorism and my spiral into your masterlists I live for fwtkac saga though for obv reasons LMAO)

Bro I was literally reading through your work like SHE TOOK THE ASSIGNMENT SERIOUSLY??? STOP BC THE SOCCER PLAYER EGO AND RELIGIOUS TRAUMA IGAGURI??? Goodbye those plots cook I CANNOT see igaguri pulling someone….omg imagine bestie Noel??? Stop that dynamic would be too funny. Also! About neutrality you’re doing like. Too good of a job. It’s been awhile but as I mentioned before I found peregrine a looong time ago and then came back to it but besides that I think cherry tree was one of the other first works of yours I read? This was all before I put the pieces together that you wrote everything LMAO but I enjoyed both sm and I definitely couldn’t tell you didn’t like Rin as much LOL

LITERALLY the worst is when I have to write something like an essay or report on spot like ok get ready for an entire evolution of my thoughts then because we are not ending where we started LMAO

There’s SOOO many possibilities please BLLK managers I’m begging you to take this marketing opportunity…please….Ive seen some series make some not great business decisions imo so please don’t be one of them!! We NEED ego origin story at some point or another like…you also can’t just drop that symbolism in his volume cover and now elaborate anything

FR honestly I think we just have to wait for s2 hype kinda like jjk…I don’t expect it to be the same degree but something similar because it’s reaaallly popular in Japan right now and even Asia in general sooooo

PLEASE KARASU DESERVES ONE TOO!! With all the Karasu we’ve seen lately there’s gotta be some awakening/evolution coming soon…

UHHSHEHSH I think it is my app…I tried looking at other profiles and some work and some don’t….??? I can’t find a specific trend but idk I’ll do the usually on off delete app or something shshshgsshhs but THANK YOUUU that would be much appreciated!!! Sorry for having to go through you to ask LOL

**this is so random but ok so I type out all my asks in a separate note so I don’t accidentally lose everything if I close tumblr but I have no idea how to do strikethrough here so I usually wait to do it on tumblr so I put quotation marks to remind myself but I forgot to go back and do that for my last ask I mean to strikethrough itoshi hate but now it’s just sitting as quotation marks SHSGGSSH in my mind ik it’s not a big deal but it doesn’t capture the same vibe ugh….anyways just thought I should mention that cause it also looks weird just as it is now oops

-Karasu anon

THANK YOUUU there’s def times when a character is hard for me…for some reason i have the MOST trouble writing isagi??? idek why he’s a relatively simple character but i just cannot get into a mindset where i can write for him which is crazy 😭 the most i could do is have him be a side love interest i think (like a pi inumaki and tullia variant) but it’s crazy because he’s so popular and also just such a random character to find difficult to write for 😓

from just a writing standpoint white butterfly and the instrument are my favs!! from an enjoyment standpoint though fwtkac is the winner it was just so fun LMAOO…the way i still have a couple of requests left from that event is insane though 😭💔 i thought i’d be done by now tbh 😩 actually ykw if karasu’s version of bfb didn’t end up so long i bet i WOULD be done already!! but i’m in sooo deep now 😋 i can’t wait to finish and post it AHH it’s taking me a bit but i am determined i will get it out soon!!

HAHAHA IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE…pls soccer player ego who slowly drives away everyone he loves by going insane over his failure to be a striker + sarcastic deadpan bestie noa who does his best to comfort you but lowkey can’t would be an insanely fun combo!! and omg pls i can’t imagine igaguri pulling either 😰 it would be such a majestic heartbreaking fic and then you’d be reminded that it’s abt IGAGURI of all people and it’s just like WHY 😭 like a reverse crack fic HDKDJSJ

OKAY YAYYY i’m glad that it doesn’t come through!! especially with a request event i don’t want to make anyone sad by hating on their favs/doing a shitty job when they came to me and asked me to write for them yk?? ofc there’s a difference in word count and all (cherry tree being like 6k words roughly vs fwtkac being…well. you know.) but not in quality!! at least that’s the goal 😄

KANESHIRO KEEPS DROPPING THREADS ABT RANDOM STUFF AND THEN NOT ELABORATING!! like anri?? ego and noa?? whatever happened to sae?? WILDCARD?? i actually don’t mind bllk’s pacing tbh (it’s torturous when chapters are releasing but super good on reread imo) but there’s so many questions i needddd answered ASAP ✅ GET ME ON THE EXEC BOARD JUST TO APPROVE THESE SPIN-OFFS FR

i agree it’s rlly popular in asia and it’s also in a good spot because it’s kind of a blend of a typical battle shounen and sports anime (like jjk and haikyuu [never watched hq but i generally know of it]) so it can attract a diverse audience…once the battle shounen girlies give it a chance it’ll become sooo much more popular!! ik initially i was hesitant because i’m not hugely into sports so i thought it’d be boring but it’s rlly different and i obviously ended up loving it!! so hoping more people try it out and end up in that same spiral

THERE’S NO WAY WE’RE NOT GETTING SMTH he’s been featured heavily in epinagi AND keeps making cameos ik my man has GOT to be cooking because no way he’s going to end the game doing nothing…personally still holding onto the hope that he shidou and zantetsu link up to break their formation free from kunigami as that could get karasu some bonuses in terms of his offer as well as putting the focus on shidou and kunigami who are two SUPER unexplored characters that have a very shared/intertwined backstory which could then be elaborated upon!! but we shall see…atm the game is very rin kaiser isagi focused so who knows

HAHAH NEVER FEAR!! she gave me pinterest links but ngl one of them wasn’t working sooo i used one to go to the artist’s page on twitter/x/wtvr it’s called and found the art she mentioned!! here’s the link…it actually is really majestic although unfortunately i cannot read the little notes written on it 😩

LMAOOO omg don’t worry the quotation marks still got the message across fine!! and that makes sm sense bruh tumblr is so unreliable at times 😰

[kaelyn-stocktonmil]

Acceptance...No Matter How Bad It Hurts...

They say there are 5 stages of grief...Denial...Anger...Bargaining...Depression...and, of course...Acceptance...

Lately...all I've been is hurt...my best friend...Abby, that's all I'll say her name is, out of respect for her privacy...though, I suppose that sort of goes out the window with this post...but I haven't got much to lose at this point...so I don't really care if she's mad at me for typing this...anyway.

We've...not been doing well. Fyre, another friend...I thought, at least...myself and Abby...for awhile, I've felt as though we'd been competing for Abby's free time...I was the one to introduce the two, because I wanted my Xbox friend to meet my best friend...and, as I'd hoped, they hit it off. So much so...they eventually started dating. I was so happy! Happy, that both Fyre and Abby had found happiness in each other! Happy, that two of my closest friends got along with each other...and then...gradually that happiness that they had, shattered...because I still wanted time with my bff...and they spent all their time with each other...jealousy, I suppose, but I never saw Abby as anything romantically, so don't get it confused...but she was like the big sister I never had but always wanted...so, of course...I wanted her attention.

Fyre and I were already experiencing a rough patch at the time...but it only got worse from there. I don't know if she was aware she was doing it...but she was...kind of controlling. At least, towards me...over time, she seemed to become more spiteful towards me...I know, I may have done some things to upset them, reading to much into things, getting upset over things that most people would probably find insignificant...I can't help that I am the way I am...I've tried to edit my behavior, to be more satisfactory so she wouldn't be mad or upset either of them...but I'm realizing more and more that I can't, because it's just a part of how my autistic brain acts and perceives things...

Eventually, I just gave up with trying to change, trying to tell them I couldn't help it...but Fyre wouldn't listen...neither would Abby...and that cut me to the core...

One night, in an effort to be more...obedient, I reached out to Fyre, asked if maybe they felt like playing Fortnite, which I know they enjoyed playing, even though whenever I played it I would get upset because I just couldn't get better at the game...I just didn't want to be alone, so I tried to do something they wanted, since Fyre was so adamant about not liking or wanting to play anything I liked...even though friendship is a 2 way street...

I was very polite about my request...and they essentially spit in my face...saying they "weren't trying to be rude, but I don't really want anything to do with you, so could you kindly fuck off"...that was the exact quote...I never messaged them back after that. That was a month ago.

...

Wanting a shoulder to lean on, I went to the only person I knew who had always listened...even when it came to Fyre...so, I took a screenshot of what they said, and sent it to Abby...more than anything, I just wanted her to make me feel better, to understand that I was being hurt more and more by our increasing distance, and by Fyre seemingly pushing myself and Abby further apart, and it may be petty of me to believe it was Fyre, but I know some of it was myself, and I tried to be more of what they wanted, but it either wasn't enough, or my brain fought against me...

I should have known she would have enough of me eventually...she messaged me back, saying that I was essentially overreacting by getting so hurt by those words, and that she wouldn't mediate things between me and Fyre anymore, that we had to figure it out ourselves, and that if Fyre didn't want to figure it out, I had to respect that...that she wanted to be my friend, but I needed to chill out...

I never responded to her...at least, not for awhile...I didn't want to say anything that I thought would make everything worse...I mean, that's all I've been doing recently without meaning to, can you blame me for not wanting to risk doing it again?

She hasn't talked to me since...even though I've reached out, apologized for being such a burden. I haven't apologized to Fyre, because I don't even know what I've done to her...and I know she doesn't care, she just wants me to leave her alone...that much I know...

I've never felt so alone and insignificant in my life. I met Abby at a bad time in my life...and she made everything better, everything seemed brighter. Even when my own mother fought against me out of fear I would be hacked or give away dangerous information that could put me in danger...It all felt worth it, and eventually she gave up, when Abby proved she wasn't some creep on the internet, and I was given permission to talk to her...I didn't have to go behind my mothers back 24/7 just to talk to my best friend...

And now? After, what...10, maybe 12 years, I don't even know, I've lost count...everything my mother feared came true...just not in the way she thought it would...but I did end up getting hurt irreparably in the end...

For the past month of January, I was in Denial, telling myself that we'll bounce back, just like always...I was Angry, at myself for fucking everything up AGAIN...just like with my past best friends...I've only had 2 before her...I Bargained with myself by reaching out, praying for an answer...and I've been Depressed through it all, but even more-so when she never responded...we've never gone this long without talking to each other...that's how close we are- were...

And now? After my mother asked if Abby had talked or reached out to me anytime recently this morning...and I said no...she apologized...and I said "It's fine." She responded with "No, it's not." Knowing it wasn't and seeing right through my mask that I wore, so I wouldn't cry in front of her...she said she'd been through it as well, with my Godmother, who is now miles away in another state, with an asshole of a boyfriend, that she only stays with because she believes she can change him...and while they still talk now...it still hurt my mother...

More than anything...we both lost our sisters...and more than anything, we were hurt, and we missed them...I still do...

But when she hugged me...telling me that it's a part of life, and that I'd be ok after awhile, and that she'd always be there for me...

I suppose Acceptance clicked into place, as I hugged her back.

I didn't cry. I didn't want her to know just how much Abby had hurt me, how deep she'd cut me...how a part of my heart will always be missing as a result...but now?

As I'm typing this, the tears are flowing, and it's all I can do to not sob for a years long friendship...amounting to nothing.

I've accepted that Abby is done with me...I unintentionally pushed her away, because of who I am...because of WHAT I AM.

Because of how my brain works...and while I know that was never her reason, it very well may have been Fyre's reason, because she always wanted me to do things her way, to change how I act to her liking...and I foolishly tried, at least for a little while...until I realized I not only couldn't change anything, but that I was hurting myself trying in the process...

I was never good enough...never obedient enough, for Fyre to want to put up being my friend...so I'm done trying. Done getting my heart hurt by a person I once considered my friend...

And if Abby doesn't see it...doesn't care, to look...then all I can do is respect her wishes...

And to @abbyvolleyball09...if you see this...I wish you and Fyre the best...I'm sorry I was such a burden to you...and I'm going to miss you and the good times we had more than anything...

And, @cosmictyto, I know you'll see this...I just want to thank you for being so kind to me during this hard time...I've been needing a shoulder to lean on, and you have graciously been that shoulder.

I'm glad to say that I can say I at least have one friend to see me through this darkness...even if the darkness is the pain of accepting a former friend no longer wishes to be friends...

[necodrop-archive]

[arlecchno]

mission accomplished

[ scaramouche x reader ]

two | mission start

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you wouldn't have known you'd be back in uni for an undercover case and now that you step foot into campus, you really want to go back to your desk. scaramouche can't seem to move on from the past and an encounter with someone offers you an opportunity to lead up the case.

warnings : slight angst if you squint, swearing, vulnerable scara (briefly)

a/n: arghhh hello!!! i know i posted ep 1 a few days ago but i can't help but post ep 2 today T-T might be late on updates for awhile since i'm currently in the middle of midterms so please bear with me~ happy reading!

grammatical errors may occur so please let me know if i've made any mistakes!

you find yourself in scaramouche’s car.

“remind me again why do we have to do this?” you asked. “i mean, we could just simply go to the university ourselves, ask a couple of questions, and possibly catch the perp, all in one day if we’re lucky enough. i don’t see why we have to go undercover and stuff” you said while going through the case file. you looked over to scaramouche, who was driving.

he was wearing his usual long-sleeved light purple shirt and formal pants, the sleeves rolled up, donning with a lose tie, since work ended a few minutes ago.

scaramouche glanced at you before speaking, “you tell me. that woman always pairs me up with you for some reason. i’m against this case as much as you are. but knowing that witch, we’re not going anywhere until we solve this case. anyway, where are we headed? said you needed some things but i didn’t recall what you specified” he glanced at you again through the rear view mirror.

you took a moment to think. “ah, i just need a couple of stuff from the department store, and maybe make a grocery run for the dorm” you said, while typing out the list on your phone.

it’s been a few days since the tsaritsa informed you about the case, and you only have a couple days left to get ready.

“thanks for giving me a ride by the way. i could’ve brought my own car if it didn’t break down in the middle of the road” you said, slightly groaning at how you’ll need to spend a couple more hundred to fix it. i’ll need to buy a new car, you thought.

the car you have now was passed down to you by your father, meaning that it’s decades old.

“no problem, i guess. though, you’ll need to pay me for these rides. can’t be going anywhere in this car without paying. this car costed me a fortune and i don’t want you lounging in this freely” he smirked while saying, taking a turn to a corner.

“archons, you’re really getting on my nerves right now, asshole. can’t believe i'm about to stay in a room with you” scaramouche stopped the car suddenly.

“why the hell did you stop? the department store is still a few minutes away” you frowned.

“if you’re not gonna pay up i’m leaving you here. good luck getting to the department store” he said, amused by your reaction that's turning into shock.

“jeez— fine! i’ll pay up! no need to get all feisty and leave me here dude. can’t even go a minute without you being a complete douche” you grumbled, clearly not amused with his friendly threats.

scaramouche chuckled, continuing driving like nothing happened. “anything to make you suffer"

“do you think we look too old for uni?” you suddenly asked, pushing the shopping cart through the aisles. you’ve went to the department store to get your stuff a while ago, and now you’re in the grocery store with scaramouche, much to your distaste.

scaramouche raised a brow. “considering that you are about to turn 26, then yeah, you look too old to be in university” he said.

“dude, you’re like a year older than me, if anything the one that is going to look like a grandpa here is you” you retorted.

“nah, i have flawless skin. i look like i’m fresh out of highschool” he boasted, taking a cereal box from the aisle and putting it in the cart.

well, he wasn’t lying. everyone in the precint wished they had his porcelain skin, you included.

his face truly is one of his best features, you thought, staring at him a little bit too long. realising what you were currently doing, you quickly darted your eyes towards the cart.

ah, i shouldn’t be staring— especially at someone like him. you sighed, before speaking up.

“i think that’s all. we’ll do another grocery run tomorrow when we’ve arrived at the campus, just in case we forgot anything" you said, glancing at the cart.

"also, captain said it’d be nice to have a little tour around the university, just to look around and take notes on the environment. might be nice to get some fresh air, right?” you asked, turning to him.

“hmm, whatever. anything to make this go by quick” he mumbled, clearly disrupted with something else in mind.

you blinked, taking a few seconds to figure out what he was thinking about. immediately realising, you looked up at him.

“scara?”

“hm? what?”

you hesitated, thinking if it’s appropriate to ask him about it. “are… you really okay with this? i mean, after what happened last time… i didn’t think–“

“i’m fine” he interrupted you. you frowned.

“look, i just want to look out for you. it’s already been a year, scara. my leg is better than ever now, and the bullet wound on my shoulder is completely healed. i know you still blame yourself for it, but i’m really fine now" you paused.

"i still feel like you’re doubting this mission and feel like we should step down, but we’ll do okay. we’ve learned from our mistakes, we’ve matured, and we’re better now. no need to beat yourself up for something we both can’t control” you touched his arm, reassuring him.

he was silent for a couple of seconds. “yeah, um, sure. thanks, i guess” he muttered, scratching the back of his neck before pushing the cart away, heading to the cashier.

you sighed, i was the one who almost died, but you were the one who was hurt the most, you thought. leaving those thoughts behind, you caught up with him.

for a university that has a serial killer on the loose, the campus sure is ginormous. i feel like i can get lost here a hundred times and still won’t know the way, you thought, already feeling dizzy at the thought of getting lost.

scaramouche chuckled beside you. “man, i’d sure love to see you getting lost. might be the highlight of this mission” he stifled, trying so hard to not laugh at the possible image of you being clueless while trying to find your destination.

you smacked his shoulder. “shut up, dude. i know im clumsy and all, but i’m not that stupid” you turned away from him, looking over childe’s shoulder instead to look at the campus map.

“i still don’t get why he’s here. that woman could’ve sent anyone but him” scaramouche said sharply, rubbing his shoulder.

for a clumsy woman, she sure is strong as hell, he thought.

“because i’m her favourite obviously. i mean, who could resist me?” childe said confidently.

“yeah, clearly not because she likes sending you away on useless errands just to get your insufferable ass out of the precint” you snickered, scaramouche slightly smirking at your words.

“whatever. i’m the one helping you two anyways” he pouted. “look, your dorm is over here” he pointed out in the map.

“here are the keys. make sure to update us on leads at the end of the day everyday. i’m sure you both will do great, you guys aren’t the best detectives in the department for nothing, amiright?”

“sure, whatever. you can go now, we can handle it from here” scaramouche said, taking the keys from childe before heading to the dorms.

“thanks again for the help, childe. i owe you one” you turned to him. “uh huh, and that is setting me up with someone from your circle!” childe grinned, placing his hands on his hips. you groaned.

“hell no. i already told you everyone from my circle are either in an established relationship or married. anything but setting you up, go on tinder or something dude” childe pouted, giving you the puppy eyes.

“please y/n! there must be someone, for archon’s sake, please! i’m begging you, i need someone. i swear this will be the only thing i'm asking from you! you owe me one, you said it yourself!” he begged.

“oh my— fine! i’ll try to find someone for you, but no promises that i’ll actually find someone” you huffed. childe screamed, almost girl-like, “ah! thank you so much y/n! you really are the best, i know i can always rely on you!" he hugged you tightly. “ugh, whatever. anything to get you off my back” you patted his shoulders.

“are you two finished? i do not have the time to witness this any longer” scaramouche shouted, a few feet away from you and childe.

“well, that’s my cue. i’ll see you in a couple of months, buddy. make sure to take note on everything that’s happening in the precint. it’d be a good laugh for me once i’m back” you said.

“oh yeah, take care of scara’s cat too. i feel like he’s already told you all about it though” you looked at scaramouche.

“sure did, even gave him miko’s eating schedule and all. also gave him a heads up if anything happens to her” said scaramouche.

“ah, about that… um yeah i’ll be sure to keep in mind” childe sweated. “see you soon y/n, stay safe and keep a low profile. oh! and also...” childe leaned over to your ear.

“check up on him once in a while, would you? ever since what happened last time, he’s always been reluctant to take up on long period undercover missions".

"he’s comfortable with you the most out of all of us, even if you guys are sworn enemies or whatever relationship you two currently got going on” he whispered.

“sure, i guess i’m kinda worried about him too. feels like i should be responsible for all of this” you whispered back.

“anyways! i should get going now, have fun without me and scara” you said, carrying your bags and catching up with scaramouche, who’s waiting with his arms crossed.

“i’ll definitely miss your daily arguments! the precint is gonna be real quiet without you two!” childe shouted. he huffed, looking at you two going off your ways. looks like i have a lot to do, he sighed.

“well, that’s about all the stuff we brought” you said, wiping off the sweat on your forehead with your sleeve.

“archons, i forgot how tiring uni can be. feels like my bones are about to snap any second” scaramouche groaned, flopping onto the couch.

“when do we start? our classes, i mean” you asked, joining him on the couch.

“on tuesday, that’s in 3 days” he paused, leaning his head back while one of his arms rested on his forehead. “we still have more time to get ready and get to know the campus, meet a couple people, while also keeping an eye out on the perp. what’s the suspect’s name again?” he asked.

“um, name’s viktor, i think” you said, picking up the case file on the coffee table. sitting crossed-legged on the couch, you plopped the file on your lap.

“yup, viktor stepanov. takes psychology and mass communication here. archons, i can’t believe a grad student like him is out brutally killing people left and right” you muttered.

“well, there’s billions of people in teyvat, with different personalities and lives, this wouldn’t come off as shocking to me” scaramouche shrugged, leaning over towards you to look at the file.

“what class did you apply for?” you questioned, looking over at him, who’s a tad bit close to you. personal space much, you thought.

“psychology and criminology, you?” he asked, leaning back to the couch.

“mass communication and criminology, figured it wouldn’t raise much suspicions if i applied for a different class” you said. “same for you, right?”

“yeah” he replied.

it was quiet for a while. you sighed, slouching on the couch. not having crazy and childish banters with scaramouche once in a while sure is peaceful, you thought.

all of those positive thoughts soon vanished away when the short male suddenly speak up.

“dibs on getting in the bathroom first!” he stood up, quickly running off towards the only bathroom in the dorm. you jolted, looking at him from the couch.

“you little shit! i told you i was going in first when we were in the car!” you yelled.

“too bad, better luck next time loser!” he yelled back, before shutting the bathroom door.

you sighed, give me a break, for celestia's sake. you looked over at the clock on the wall. 3.17 pm, you read. i should go take a walk around the campus and get some fresh air, you thought.

who knows, i might make a couple of friends. you stood up, taking your keys, your phone, and some cash, just in case you needed drinks or snacks.

you knocked on the bathroom door.

“scara i’m gonna head out for a while and take a walk, need anything?” you asked. you heard the shower stop and scaramouche’s voice popped up.

“nope. get lost” you almost cursed him. calm down, y/n. “okay, whatever. i’ll be back in an hour or less, text me if you need anything” you said.

not even waiting for his reply, you walked over to the front door and left.

the campus is awfully quiet for a saturday afternoon. leaves rustling, the fall breezes gently blowing, and a couple of students walking around, chatting away with their friends and partners. it sure has been a while since i last stepped foot in a campus, you thought, briefly reminiscing your uni days from a few years back.

leaning back on the bench, you sighed, taking in the scenic view in front of you. closing your eyes, you tried clearing your mind off.

“ah, hello?” a voice popped up. you opened your eyes, looking over towards the voice. he had dark brown hair, green eyes and wearing a simple t-shirt with sweatpants.

“uh, hi? do you need anything? you asked. he looks fairly familiar, but i can’t pinpoint it.

“oh, nothing! i just saw you alone here and thought i’d say hi” he replied. “are you new here? i don’t think i’ve ever seen you around campus” he continued.

you gave a slight smile. “yeah, just got here an hour ago. the campus is pretty big, isn’t it? looks like i’m gonna get lost for the first few weeks” you chuckled, sparking up the conversation.

“i’m luna” you said, remembering the fake name you made up with scaramouche last night. “what about you?”

“viktor. viktor stepanov. a pleasure to meet you”

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[touchstarvedsam]

Post-Red Meat cuddling, anyone?

Dean spends more time looking at Sam out of the corner of his eye than he spends looking at the road ever since they left the Urgent Care. Sam’s alive. He’s not dead on the floor of a cabin in the middle of the woods. He’s breathing, and whole, and finally gaining color back in his cheeks after the doctor cleaned up his bullet wound and sewed him up properly. Dean can breathe again, but he’s still shaken up. He was so scared when he came back and found Sam on the floor, no heartbeat, chest not rising and falling with every breath, lifeless.

He hated leaving Sam there, but he knew Sam wouldn’t want him to risk the lives of the people they saved just because he died. He knew Sam would never forgive him. But, god, if Sam had given him an ounce of proof that he was alive, a single breath, his pinky twitching, Dean would have stayed. Dean would have carried Sam on his back if he had to. He would have done anything to get Sam to safety. He hates admitting it, even to himself, but he would have left Michelle and Corbin on their own if Sam had given him one single gasp and they said it wouldn’t be worth it to take Sam.

His hands clench on the steering wheel, the leather squeaking in protest. There’s so much he wants to say, he just doesn’t have the words. They’re swimming around in his head and he has no net to catch them, no way to stop their flow so he could pull them out and let them leave his mouth. He wants to say he’s sorry, he wants to beg for forgiveness, but Sam isn’t blaming him and Dean hates that. Sam’s not mad that Dean left him in that cabin and Dean wants him to be.

Dean glances at Sam when he catches him moving out of the corner of his eye. He pulls a watermarked slip of paper out of his pocket and Dean doesn’t have to ask to know it’s a prescription. “Need meds?” he asks, going for nonchalant.

“Yeah, they prescribed me antibiotics to clear any possible infections, and meds for the pain.”

“Anything good?”

“Just, uh, Tylenol with codeine.”

“Man, that’s boring.” He’s trying for lighthearted while he waits for the pain to fade. His heart feels like it���s clenched in someone’s fist, keeping him on a leash with that pain, the feeling of loss cutting so deep he feels like he’s dying. “I’ll stop at the next pharmacy, we’ll get your meds, pick up some greasy diner food, and then kick back at the bunker, huh?”

He almost lost Sam today; he thought he did lose Sam today. And then Sam shows up, worse for wear, but alive, and saves Dean. The kid took down two werewolves after all that blood loss, drove himself to the Urgent Care with blurred vision and extreme pain, and saved Dean’s bacon from a newly turned werewolf. He can’t take much more action after that, not for awhile anyway. He just wants to sit with Sam and make sure the kid stays breathing.

“Sounds good,” Sam says, tucking the prescription paper back into his pocket. The rest of the ride is spent in silence. While Sam’s in the pharmacy dropping off his prescription, Dean’s picking up snacks and beer and whatever he loves that Sam doesn’t so he doesn’t have to share, but he does sneak in the healthy snacks Sam loves. He’ll deny later that he grabbed them on purpose.

They don’t speak when Dean runs into the diner to order their food -- a greasy two patty burger with extra onions and French fries for himself, and the biggest garden salad they’ve got for Sam -- and comes back out to Sam asleep in the passenger seat, slumped down, head resting on the back of the bench seat, tilted toward the driver’s side, where Dean would be. He opens the back door, puts the bag of food on the seat, and then shuts the door as quietly as he can in a car that’s not made with silence in mind.

When he slides back into the driver’s seat, he’s slow and careful not to shake the car too much. He’s caught off guard when he comes face to face with his little brother’s sleeping face. His little brother who he’d thought was dead not twelve hours ago. He closes his eyes to calm his breathing, to keep himself from touching Sam, from brushing the hair back from his face, then lets out a slow breath and settles in the seat and starts the car. He lets Sam sleep the rest of the way back to the bunker. He’d considered getting a hotel room and letting Sam rest there, but he thought Sam would feel safer in the comfort of the bunker. They both would.

Back at the bunker, he gently shakes Sam’s shoulder to wake him. Sam’s groggy, eyes foggy as they open and finally focus on Dean. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Dean jokes. “C’mon, time to get you out of the tower.”

Tired, but still sassy as ever, Sam mumbles, “That’s Rapunzel,” but climbs out of the Impala on Dean’s side instead of his own. Dean helps him out, a hand on Sam’s forearm to keep him steady. Sam’s like a newborn fawn on his big, skinny legs, shaky like he’s never walked before. “I’m okay,” Sam says, but lets Dean help him anyway. Dean grabs the food from the back and they go inside.

Sam’s still exhausted by the time they finish eating so Dean helps him to his room. “Thanks,” Sam rasps. Dean opens his mouth again to say he’s sorry, to ask for forgiveness, to beg for Sam not to hate him for leaving him. He knows Sam doesn’t, and he knows Sam would never accept an apology, so he keeps his mouth shut. Sam’s big, warm hand lands on Dean’s shoulder, a comfort he doesn’t deserve. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“‘Night, Sammy.”

Sam drops his hand and shuts his door. Dean misses the warmth.

It isn’t until Dean’s lying in the darkness of his room staring at the ceiling that he makes his decision. He gets up and makes his way back to Sam’s room. He knows Sam’s asleep so he doesn’t bother knocking, just opens the door and shuts it quietly after he slips inside. It’s dark in Sam’s room but he knows his way around, and he knows what side Sam’s asleep on, so he climbs in the opposite side, carefully. Sam doesn’t have memory foam like Dean does -- he settled for a regular mattress -- so Dean has to be as gentle and slow as possible. Sam stirs, but doesn’t otherwise react. Once under the covers, Dean scoots closer and closer until he can feel Sam’s warmth under the sheets, and wraps an arm over Sam’s thin waist.

That’s when Sam startles.

“Wha--”

“Shh, Sammy,” Dean shushes him, gently running his palm over Sam’s tense side before squeezing his hip to still him. “I just needed to be close to you.”

“Thought you were gonna put a jacuzzi in here,” Sam mumbles, groggy, and it takes Dean a moment to get it, remembers saying he was going to throw Sam’s stuff away and put in a jacuzzi had Sam been dead.

Ever cool, calm, and collected in front of Sam, he replies, “Yeah, well, you ain’t dead yet so I can’t.”

They both go quiet in the stillness of the night, Dean’s arm snaking forward, palm spread wide as he coasts it over Sam’s trembling abdomen, up his chest, and back down again. Sam shivers but doesn’t complain. “How you feelin’, kiddo?” he whispers into Sam’s hair, nosing at the back of Sam’s neck. A tiny whimper falls from Sammy’s lips and Dean smiles against his hair.

“Tired, De,” Sam whispers, but his body wiggles back just slightly, until his back is just a hair’s breadth away from Dean’s chest. One breath from Dean and they’d touch. He closes his eyes, takes that leap, and breathes. His chest touches Sam’s back and he feels like he’s home. His arm tightens carefully around Sam’s waist and he pulls Sam flush against him, holding him tight but mindful of his stitches. They fall asleep like that, Sam in Dean’s arms, warm and safe, Dean content because his whole world is okay.

[bbrandy2002]

Fool’s Rush In -- Chapter 16

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC

Warning: Some language, mild sexual talk

Since it’s been awhile since I last posted an update, in the previous chapter Madeleine had confronted Riley with a video after she left the ball. 

Thank you @burnsoslow for the preread and beta.

-------------

Riley sat on a leather bench at the foot of the bed with a television remote held loosely between her hands, folded in her lap. 

Somehow her worn-out body managed to walk from the corridor after the encounter with Madeleine, up the many stairs of the quarters she shared with Liam and to their bedroom. The shock of the situation combined with exhaustion and throbbing pain in her lower back was secondary to the fear she felt at possibly giving up the man she loved. 

With trembling hands, she had slipped the DVD into the player and watched her nightmare play out on the screen -- It was all true. Madeleine acquired an illicit video of Riley and her ex-husband that the Queen had no clue was recorded of her or existed.

Her thumb grazed over the pause button several times, but she knew pressing it wouldn’t stop the hurt and embarrassment she felt at that moment at watching her former husband violating her trust and privacy. It wouldn’t stop Madeleine from releasing the video of it to the press and public. And it wouldn't stop the love she felt for Liam -- no one was powerful enough to take that feeling away from her.

But it was those words Madeleine threatened her with that got equal consideration with that video in Riley’s mind. She tried to envision how the scenario would carry out if the video was released and for those who would be affected by it: her father, her friends, her former students. 

Liam.

“It’s a shame that he’ll lose his reign, all because of you.”

“Would you really do that to Liam?”

“Do you genuinely believe you’re worth all the trouble it will cause him?”

Riley hit the pause button, her hands flying up to cover her tear-laden face as she bent over in sobs, shaking her head. She was wrestling with that inner voice, replaying Madeleine’s words like a broken record while struggling to remember everything Liam told her about trusting him and his love for her.

No matter how hard she tried to let his tender voice speak to that sacred place in her heart, Madeleine’s threats and taunts were getting the best of her. If there was even a slight possibility that the Countess was right, and Liam would get dragged through the mud in all of this, then there was no question what needed to be done. 

Those scattered bricks that formed the walls she came to Cordonia with, the ones Liam had broken down, were quickly stacking up again, one on top of the other. If something didn’t happen soon, Riley would be surrounded and suffocated inside that impenetrable cocoon that initially caused herself to doubt her worthiness to him in the first place.

All of those insecurities and fears crept up faster than a flooded riverbank, and she felt powerless to stop it from rising. Even if she could, she’d never allow Liam to suffer the consequences of something she had the power to prevent. To hell with whatever happened to her, but not him. He saved her weeks ago, and as her teary gaze slid from her hands to the wardrobe closet across the room, this would be her way of saving him.

Riley picked up the remote from her lap and tossed it aside. Determined to get out of the palace and Cordonia before anyone could see her, she swallowed her anger and grief and swiped a knuckle under each eye to dry the tears shed. 

She rose to her feet faster than she should have, feeling an intense shock of pain that began in her hip and shot down to her feet. There were no doubts that the fall from struggling with Madeleine injured her far worse than she wanted to admit to herself. With a shrieking whimper, she ground her teeth together and doubled over, feeling like she might faint. 

Riley grasped her back and gave herself a second to breathe through the pain before straightening up and staggering to her wardrobe to pack whatever she could as quickly as possible.

_____________

Liam stepped off the dance floor with Olivia's arm curled through his and escorted her back to their table. The conclusion of the ball was nearly upon him, and most guests had already stopped on their way out to say their farewells and offer congratulatory well-wishes. When they'd ask about the Queen's whereabouts, he'd tell them she had something come up that needed her attention. No one dared press him on the issue.

Checking the time on his watch, Liam looked up as Maxwell ran over with his phone in hand and dropped into a seat. He looked curiously at the out of breath Beaumont and asked, "What's going on, Maxwell?"

"Sorry," he replied before plucking a flute of champagne from a passing server's tray and gulping it down quickly. Wiping the droplets that dribbled from his mouth to his chin off with the back of his hand, he panted. "I ran here as fast as I could. I just got a text message from Drake. He's heading back soon."

"Did he say what the results of the paternity test were?" Olivia asked.

Maxwell nodded. "Yeah. They're Bastien's for sure. Las Vegas officials are allowing Drake to leave, but they've detained Bas until he pays up the $200,000 he owes to Boom Boom. Drake's return flight is scheduled to leave tomorrow morning, Cordonia time."

Liam pulled out his wallet and tossed $100 at a smug Leo, who promptly counted them out and stuffed the bills into his pocket. "I told you those little dudes weren't mine, bro. Really, your doubt in me hurts." 

"I'll admit you were right, Leo. But you do have a track record when it comes to being involved in weird stuff like this."

"Yeah, I've gotten myself into some pretty hairy shit a time or two," he laughed as the memories came to him. "Ahh, good times, good times. But, y'know, it wasn't always just fun and games with me, Liam. During those few occasions when I'd show up to train on being the top dog of this place, Father taught me several valuable lessons. Wanna know what they were?"

"Not really," Liam answered dryly, then tossed back the rest of his scotch to prepare himself. "But I assume you're going to tell me anyway."

"Damn right I am! This is good shit to know, straight from the Big Kahuna himself." He leaned forward and lowered his voice. "You must never tell anyone what I'm about to share with you all. This is top secret, classified Cordonian shit we're talking about; lives are on the line here. Father would be pissed if --"

"Just spit it out already!" Olivia snapped.

"Alright, first, never jizz in a jacuzzi unless you want to be covered in a thin spiderweb-like amalgamation of your own gravy. Daddio said he learned the hard way on that one ..."

"Oh, God. Leo!" Sickened, Liam dropped his head.

" ... Next, when you kiss a woman's hand, do it on the thumb side. Most people scratch their asses with their fingers, but rarely their thumbs. I might be an exception to the rule on that one." Leo chuckled to himself. "And lastly ... Rys spermies are MEAN sons-of-bitches, and we should dip my balls in a mug of hot water every day to kill them before having sex." 

"What the hell?" Olivia grimaced as she lowered her coffee mug away from her lips and pushed it away. 

"My dad told me the same thing," Maxwell boasted. "Except he called them Beaumont spermies. I guess he heard the same story from someone different than your dad."

Liam lowered the hands that were covering his face and breathed out heavily, "Leo, did our father ever teach you about anything other than using protection and sex during these meetings? Anything about negotiations, taxes, treaties ..."

Leo considered him for a moment. "Nope. He said you'd do all that stuff."

Liam grumbled. "Of course he did."

Olivia looked between Leo and Maxwell and scowled. "Well, it's too bad neither of your fathers took their own advice." She grabbed her clutch from the table. "At least I'll rest easier knowing the two of you aren't reproducing. Now, if you'll excuse me."

"I'll walk out with you, Liv." Liam rose and left the ballroom, having had more than enough of his fill of Leo for the night. There was also an incredibly sexy woman upstairs he'd been dreaming of pleasing all day, and he was overly eager to make good on his promise to join her shortly. 

______________

Liam made his way through the residential wing and down the long hallway to his quarters. While undoing his tie, he stopped midway when he noticed a vase that usually sat on a decorative table along the wall, tipped over on its side with bundles of long-stemmed roses littered on the ground around it. 

As he stooped down to pick them up, he found it oddly peculiar -- they didn't just fall over like this on their own. If a member of the staff had knocked them over, they would have picked them up; he felt certain Riley would have, as well.  

After rearranging the flowers in the vase and situating them back on the table, Liam removed his key card from his pocket and swiped it through the key fob next to the door.

"Riley! I'm home," he called out in a sensual tone, knowing she was most likely upstairs -- hopefully naked and ready to get her ass spanked -- and wouldn't have heard him.  

Taking a moment to check his reflection in the entryway mirror, Liam smoothed back his hair and tested his breath against his palm, satisfied he was good. After a quick stop in the kitchen to grab a can of whipped cream and chocolate sauce, Liam ascended the stairs, two at a time, to his bedroom. 

"Daddy's ready for his dessert ..." his exuberant voice trailed off as the sultry smirk he donned quickly faded away when he walked into an empty room. "Riley?"

Glancing around the bedroom, the en suite door was still open, and the light was off, so he knew she wasn't in there. The bed was still in pristine form and didn't look touched. He wasn't at all worried; Riley likely went for a snack, even though that thought seemed rather odd considering how adamant she was about returning to their quarters earlier.

Liam placed the toppings on a side table and slipped out his phone. He plopped down on the bench at the foot of their bed, thinking maybe he'd missed a message or call from her. 

There was nothing.

He scratched his head; it wasn't like Riley not to mention to him if she'd gone somewhere, not that she had to. But in this case, she knew he'd be up soon. Thinking about the overturned vase Liam walked upon, something started to not sit well with him. 

With the cell still in his hand, he pulled her contact information up. Just as he was about to hit the dial button, he heard "Liam" in a low, raspy voice.

Relief washed over him as he stood and put his phone away. "Love, you worried me. Everything okay?" Her face was ashen, and her eyes red and swollen. Liam's insides immediately clinched.

Riley didn't answer as Liam crossed the room, frantically approaching her, worry engraved on his features. “Riley, love, what’s wrong? What happened?” His eyes were desperately searching for any clue as to what was clearly something wrong with his wife.

She held out her hand, preventing him from coming too close. “Please ... don’t.”

Bewildered, he asked, “What are you doing, sweetheart?”

Riley turned her head away somberly; she couldn't bear to look at him. She had planned to get out of the palace before he returned from the ball; there was no way she would be able to face him. Liam would want an explanation that she couldn't give him. But when she got to the car, Riley noticed there was something important she forgot to give back to him, and there was no way she would take it. Maybe somewhere inside, even if she couldn't admit it, she needed to see him and do this right. “I ... have to go.” Her words were barely audible.

Liam's brows bumped together. “Go? You’re going somewhere this late? But you were tired before --”

“No,” Her head shook faster than she realized before she spat the rest out. “I’m leaving Cordonia. I’m returning to Las Vegas, and I’m not coming back.”

“Riley? What the hell is going on? You were fine and having a good time 30 minutes ago, and now, all of a sudden, you want to go back to Nevada. What am I missing here? Does this have something to do with what happened at dinner? Because I told you --”

“You’re not missing anything. I came here to prevent you from marrying Madeleine, and I did that. That was the agreement, and now ... I’m going home.”

Liam started to laugh and wagged his finger at her. “Leo put you up to pranking me? He's mad about me sending that damn monkey away and is trying to get me back, right? Because if he did, that's just … just heartless. And I don’t find it funny.”

“No, Liam.." She shook her head again. "Leo didn’t put me up to this, and it's not a prank.” Riley carefully pulled off the wedding bands she came back to give him and held them out to him.

He looked at them and gritted his teeth. “Put them back on,” he commanded.

“I can’t do that, Liam. They belonged to your mother, and I’m not taking something so sentimental with me back to Vegas.”

“You’re damn right you're not taking them back to Vegas with you because you’re not going!”

“I am.”

“No, you’re not!”

Riley choked out into a wispy sob, “I’m so sorry, Liam. I'm so sorry!”

He said nothing as he stared at her in disbelief and saw that she was serious. “Why?” He asked as his throat clenched and the first tear slipped down his cheek.

Her body felt leaden, never having seen him this shattered. “Liam, I just want to go home, okay? I mean ... this has been an amazing experience, and I’ll never forget it, but I miss my home, and my job, and my friends ..."

“Fuck your home! I’ll buy you one here that looks just like it. Visit your friends all you want ... hell, bring them here if you want to; I don’t care. That's NOT what's going on! There’s something you’re not telling me. And I want to know, NOW!”

Riley startled at his yell, wanting to hold him and make it better. “Liam, I don’t want to be in Cordonia anymore, or be the Queen, or live in this palace. I want to go home.”

He motioned around the room.“THIS is your home, Riley ... Cordonia.  I’m your home! This palace is your home." Liam scrubbed a frustrated hand furiously over his face. "Again, you were fine 30 minutes ago. What changed between you leaving the ball and coming up here? You're not telling the truth for some reason, but I can’t figure out why. Did I do something to upset you? Did someone else do something to upset you?"

"No!" she responded expeditiously.

"I love you, Riley. You know that, right?" She nodded; the glisten in his blue eyes and the desperation in his trembling voice was destroying her willpower. "Do you …  still love me?"

Riley slammed her eyes shut. She loved him with every fiber of her being, and to tell him so in this very moment would only serve to prolong this hellacious situation. The only way to protect him from losing everything -- in her mind -- was to let him go. He would fight her on this, and it broke her heart to see the pain and confusion in his eyes, but it had to be done.

“Do. You. Love. Me?” he enunciated his question once more. The struggle and agony on her face were evident to him.

Riley turned away from Liam and faced the door. Did she have it in her to answer that question with a lie?

"... the council will have no choice but to question Liam's decision-making abilities after not only squandering his pick of a queen on some American nobody but now one whose ass will be featured on the desktops of teenage boys across the world. It's a shame he'll lose his reign, all because of you. Would you really do that to Liam? Are you worth the trouble?"

The sadness crushed her. There was no other way to protect him. Riley swiped at her face and answered firmly.

“No.”

With that, the Queen walked out, leaving the King in an empty room with his shock, his confusion, and an unimaginable pain he'd never get over.

-----------

Tags:

@burnsoslow @dcbbw @ao719 @jessiembruno @texaskitten30 @janezillow @merridithsmiscellany-blog @mskaneko @callmeellabella @queenjilian @sirbeepsalot @drakexwillow @jovialyouthmusic @forthebrokenheartedthings @bebepac @kingliam2019 @lovablegranny @cordoniaqueensworld @amandablink @liamxs-world @choiceskatie @iaminlovewithtrr @hopelessromanticmonie @charlotteg234 @annekebbphotography @txemrn @ofpixelsandscribbles @alyssalauren @monsoonblooms12 @mom2000aggie @theroyalheirshadowhunter @princessleac1 @kimmiedoo5 @graceful-leah @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @thegreentwin @gkittylove99 @neotericthemis @pink-diamond13 @walker7519 @yourmajesty09 @natureblooms24 @gabesmommie1130 @sweatyrysconnoisseur @kat-tia801 @debramcg1106 @shewillreadyou @choicesstan650 @emkay512 @royalromancer

Liam x MC: @cordonia-gothqueen

Fools Rush In tags: @narrytheworld @queenwalton​ @cordonianprincess​ @zaffrenotes​ @zilch3​ @drrookie​ @sfb123​ @secretaryunpaid​

[pigeon-scratches]

I dont know how long ago it was posted, but if you're still looking for ideas of things to draw, I would love to see an oc you would create!!! I love your style and also your designs for character creations and things and would probably obsess over an oc you had....

Sorry i just realized that probably sounds creepy, also sorry for hyper liking and reblogging lots of things from here, I just discovered your blog and am now hyperfixated on it, I promise I am not trying to be creepy and if I am being creepy I will stop I promise

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH JFNDBJFKEOFNFBBFBFBDJKDJF 😳😳😳 ur so kind, this genuinely made my day 😭😭😭 im going through an art block right now so i dont really feel like drawing... however, i can show you the process of how i made one of my favorite OCs! here was my process for making Misfortune :))) thisll be pretty long tho so im gonna put it under a cut

this was my very first concept for misfortune. i didnt really know what i was going for at first, but i knew i wanted a very intimidating character. this is his most recent design:

third photo drawn by @gatorbeast :]]] please check out their art and support them!!! (hope u dont mind being tagged if u want me to remove the tag just let me know)

anyways, my process for making ocs is pretty all over the place??? generally i start from a few basic ideas, though. for example, for misfortune i knew i wanted something magma and fire based, and i wanted his backstory to include some sort of "big bad" or whatever. i took those concepts and went from there.

i ask myself questions!!! asking yourself or having others ask questions about your character is a great way to develop them. the question "what if he had burn scars" leads to asking why he has them, who gave them to him, why did they give them to him, and what was the aftermath? after i ask myself that i sorta go from there. i block it out and then add a little more and more over time!

for example after i gave him his scars i thought of some shit he'd have to deal with, so i did some research on burn scars, the healing process, yadda yadda 👀👀👀

im kinda losing motivation for this post but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hope u enjoyed this!!!!! sorry it took me awhile to get to this ask, and im not very good at explaining stuff but i hope this worked

[smcc212]

Not So Secret After All

Pairings- Tommy Shelby x son! Reader, Isiah Jesus x male reader

Word count- 1,504

Warnings- fluff, smut, anal, swearing, slight internalised homophobia(but not really)

A/N- I sent a request to @sleepypeaky awhile ago with the prompt I’m using, Tommy finding out his son’s gay and is dating Isiah, so check out her post “Isiah Jesus x male!reader”. I really hope you guys enjoy this!!

Also, I’ve not written smut I soooo long, and I’ve never written m/m smut so sorry if it’s shit.

The phone next to my bed rang, I answered it. I hoped it was my boyfriend, Isiah, but I answered with a neutral tone of voice.

“Hello.” My voice was void of any emotion, a skill I learned from my father, quickly, as I grew up.

“Hey, babe,” I heard Isiah’s voice fill my ears. Excitement bolted through my veins immediately.

“Isiah, how are you?” I squealed. I hadn’t talked to Isiah in two weeks and it was horrible.

“I’m alright, better now I’m talking to you, though. Is your dad home?” He asked.

“You’re adorable, but yeah, he’s home. Is your dad home?” I asked, silently praying he wasn’t, but maybe people are right and God does hate me, because, as I prayed, Isiah answered.

“Yeah, he is. Fuck. I miss you, I especially miss fucking you.” I giggled like a schoolgirl at his crude remark.

“I miss you and your cock as well, Isiah.” We both laughed. We started to talk about what we’d been up to while we were away from each other. Neither of us had done much that was different from normal, but we both made sure to include every detail just so we could talk to one another longer. Just as I was telling Isiah about riding one of the horses, my dad’s voice bellowed through the house.

“(Y/N)! I’m going to help Arthur with something, okay?”

“One minute, iz-“ I moved the mouth piece away. “-Okay! How long will you be?!” I shouted back.

“An hour and half, two hours!” I heard him shout back. Excitement coursed through my veins. I would finally be able to spend time with Isiah!

“Okay! Bye!” As the door shut. I quickly brought the mouth piece back to my lips and informed Isiah.

“I’ll be right there!” He beamed. “I love you.”

“I love you too, bye.”

“Bye, see ya soon, sweetheart.” And with that, he hung up and made his way over as I made sure I looked okay. I changed my clothes even though I knew Isiah would just take them off again.

Half an hour later, Isiah had me pinned against my bedroom door with his body, his mouth on my neck and his hands wandering over my body.

“‘Siah, there’s a perfectly good bed behind you,” I moaned, wrapping my legs around his waist. He wasted no time carrying me over to the bed and throwing me onto it. He rushed to get my clothes off.

“Fuck, why are you wearing so many fucking layers?” He complained, making me laugh as I worked on his clothes as well.

“Oh for fuck sake.” My hands were shaking with excitement. “Fuck this!” I ripped his shirt off, buttons flying all over the floor.

“(Y/N)!”

“Calm down, you can take one of mine. There are upsides to being sinners,” I joked. Though maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say to the son of Jeremiah Jesus.

“Yeah, guess so,” He mumbled. I started to feel guilty about my joke until I felt Isiah’s hand wrap around my cock.

“Fuck,” I moaned, Isiah pushed me onto the bed. After shedding his clothes, he climbed on top of me.

“Oil. Where is it?” He rushed out.

“In the drawer,” I replied with just as much urgency. He grabbed the oil, heating it up between his hands before massaging my hole and gently pushing one finger inside.

“That feel got, eh?” He cockily drawled. Pumping his finger in and out until he felt I could take another. And another finger I took.

“Of course it fucking does, and you know it,” I snapped back. “Now hurry the fuck up.”

After a while of working me open, Isiah, finally, entered me. We both moaned in unison. He thrust in and out as he stroked my cock. We were so caught up in the moment, neither of us realised my dad, uncles, aunt Ada and great-aunt Polly came home. They must’ve been calling on me for awhile, because my dad burst into my room and-

“What the fuck...?” My dad mumbled, quietly. Isiah grabbed the blanket from beside us and covered us with it.

“D-dad?!” I panicked, looking in the blue eyes we shared. Those blue eyes that are usually so calm and collected, now widened with shock and confusion. “Dad, I-“

“Get dressed and come to my office, both of you,” He said and walked out. Isiah got up and started to get dressed, grabbing a shirt from my wardrobe. I just lay there, I couldn’t move. He wasn’t supposed to find out like this! No one was supposed to know, not till I was ready. What was going happen? Would my dad disown me? Would my family disown me?! My father is fucking gang leader for fuck sake, he wouldn’t want a gay son! Would he?

“(Y/N)! Come on, get dressed.” Isiah handed me my clothes. I got dressed quickly, my thoughts still racing. Would my family think I’m weak now? Would they kick me out of the business? I worked so hard for my position, I can’t lose it because of this! I can’t lose my fucking family because of this! “Hey, baby, it’s gonna be okay.”

“You don’t know that, Isiah! I could lose everything because of this!” I shouted, raking my hands through my hair.

“No matter what happens, you’ll still have me, I promise,” Isiah said, placing his hands on either side of my face, making me look at him. “You hear me? I’ll always be here for you.” He kissed me passionately to make sure I got the message. “Okay?”

“Okay.”

Isiah and I walked hand in hand into my fathers office, the rest of my family were there. I took a deep breath before walking in, Isiah squeezed my hand reassuringly.

“(Y/N), my boy, why don’t you and Isiah have a seat, eh?” My dad said. He sounded... happy? I looked around the room. Polly and Ada were smiling, Arthur, John and Finn all looked perplexed and Michael mouthed ‘good luck’ to Isiah.

“Erm... I-I think I’d rather stand,” I answered awkwardly.

“Well alright.” I’d thought of my family finding out I like men many times, but never did I think my dad would be happy.

“Y-you’re not...mad?” I stammered out, looking between Isiah and my dad.

“Why would I be mad?” He asked, genuinely curious.

“W-well... because I like men,” I mumbled.

“(Y/N), everyone in this family with a brain in their head already knew.” This was followed by all three of my uncles shouting a ‘hey!’ In protest. “I mean, I wish I hadn’t walked in on you two, but I’m glad you don’t need to hide who you are from us anymore.” My dad smiled, he smiled. Weird day...

“Yeah, we’re happy for you both,” Polly smiled at us. A huge smile grew on both mine and Isiah’s face.

“I’m glad you two are happy,” Ada began. “I’m also happy that I’ve got gay nephew!” She squealed, excitedly. “I know it doesn’t change who you are, but now we can complain about our men to each other!”

“I’m here, you know. No need to be rude,” Isiah said from beside me. Now Michael spoke up.

“Isiah, does this mean you’ll annoy someone else by constantly talking about (Y/N)?” Michael smirked as Isiah bashfully looked at me. “I mean he’s all you talk about.”

“Alright, we get it, Mikey.” I laughed at how shy Isiah was acting.

“Wait a minute,” John spoke up, that usually means a joke is coming. “What about that whore we bought you?” No joke. Very weird day...

“I didn’t sleep with her. Told her it wasn’t really for me, paying for sex, but asked her to pretend we slept together so you lot didn’t know. So she did, lovely las, she was.” I thought back to when Arthur told me they ‘bought’ me a girl. Isiah was there. When he heard Arthur say it, he clenched his fists to keep from saying something and left the room. We had an argument after she left because he thought I went through with it. As much as I love the man, he’s a fucking dumbass.

“Hmm smart.” Was all John said before my dad joined the conversation again.

“Right, Isiah, come with me. We need to have a chat if you’re gonna be dating my boy.” He stood up and walked towards the door, turning around when Isiah didn’t follow him. “Come on, Isiah, otherwise I’ll have to drag you along.”

“Dad, for fuck sake, you won’t do this if I was with a girl,” I mumbled.

“That’s because men are arseholes, now come on, Isiah, i don’t have all day.” I smiled at Isiah before he followed my father. I don’t think I’ll ever get over this. Both my father walking in on me and Isiah, and also how okay my family was with it. I really lucked out. Now the only person left to tell is Jeremiah. That should be fun...

Tags:

@the-makingsofgreatness

@captivatedbycillianmurphy (wasn’t sure if you wanted to be tagged in this, but it IS Tommy x reader so... I did it anyway)

[beetlebitchywitch]

Zhuk (Mafia Beej!AU The Conglomerate) x F!Reader: Homecoming

Well my dears, it has been awhile. My first semester of grad school is about to come to a close and I feel bad that I haven’t written in so long. So, I decided to post a commission I wrote a WHILE ago for @yankyo, starring everyone’s favorite Russian mafia man, Zhuk. I hope you all enjoy it!

P.S. I usually tag these fics with beetlejuice stuff since these boys are based off of Beetlejuice and share traits with him and stuff, but if people think I shouldn’t, let me know. I wouldn’t wanna clog the tags with stuff people don’t want to see, but I wanna make sure the people that do wanna read it can find it easily. If anyone has any suggestions or anything, I’m all ears!

WARNING: NSFW. Rough sex, brat taming, anal sex, dirty talk, slight degradation/humiliation, aftercare. MINORS DNI 

The mirror reflected a devious picture come one warm, muggy, infuriatingly quiet night at the estate. Her gaze traveled up her reflection, starting at her feet clad in strappy black heels that she still managed to be short in despite their impressive height. Her legs looked absolutely incredible in her favorite pair of fishnet stockings, held in place by the garters connected to her lacy black panties that perfectly cupped her ass. Paired with a black leather chest harness that fully exposed her breasts and a matching collar adorned with silver chains that dripped luxuriously across her skin, she looked like every straight man with a pulse’s wet dream. She turned slowly, looking herself over carefully for any imperfections. If tonight was to go as she had planned it, she needed to be perfect, not for her husband, but for herself. 

Her husband. She couldn’t help but scowl as the memory of him leaving her for a business trip entered her mind, a curt kiss on the forehead the only goodbye she received from him before he was off, chattering away in Russian on his phone as if she didn’t exist. It was the third time that month that he’d left her to rush off to Europe on some important business he refused to tell her about, and tonight was the night he was due to arrive home. The others had kept her company, of course, but they all could tell how much his supposed disregard for her had gotten under her skin, and far be it from them to tell her how to feel. They did what they could, keeping her occupied and loved with time spent drowning in liquor and laughter, but they all knew that there was nothing they could do to replace the attention of Zhuk while he was away. But tonight...well, tonight that attention was going to be all for her. 

With a smirk, she turned away from the mirror, striding confidently out of her bedroom and down the empty hall. The others had retreated to their rooms for the night, knowing full well what hell would likely be unleashed upon them if they dared to interrupt her master plan. The only sound that accompanied her was the satisfying click of her stilettos on the stairs as she descended into the foyer, momentarily surprised that not even Bajo had snuck out of his room for a quick look at her all dolled up. Her thoughts were quickly dispelled at the sound of the magnificent front doors being unlocked, quickly swinging open to reveal none other than Zhuk...speaking rapidly on his cell phone in Russian. 

It took everything in her not to scream at the top of her lungs as he sped past the foyer and into the kitchen after only briefly meeting her gaze, not even sparing her a second glance as he barked unhappily in his native tongue. Whoever was on the other end must’ve been getting an earful, but Y/N simply couldn’t give two shits what they were being scolded for. Here she was, standing in the middle of the room with her fucking tits out, and her husband didn’t even notice, too wrapped up in his business like he always was. She could feel the frustrated tears building in her eyes, suddenly feeling utterly ridiculous for planning all of this in the first place if he wasn’t even going to care enough to spare her a passing glance. Before she could continue spiraling into self-pity, she heard a soft gasp from her left and looked up to see Zhuk, cell phone held loosely in hand and his mouth agape at the sight of her. If anything, his delayed reaction only served to anger her more, feelings of inadequacy and loneliness and sadness swirling around in her stomach as his gaze shamelessly raked up and down her body. 

“Moya zhena,” he sighed wistfully, pocketing his cell phone and taking a few steps closer to where she stood at the base of the stairs. “You are...could this all be for me?” At that, she scowled, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

“It could’ve been,” she snapped, not even finding it in her to care when he flinched at her angry tone. “But you’ll probably just be too busy, right? Maybe I should book you another plane ticket back to Moscow, since you’ll just ignore me while you’re here anyway.” Zhuk paused, seemingly taking in everything she’d said and trying to determine what to do next, but the long silence made Y/N shift uncomfortably where she stood, suddenly feeling far too exposed as she used her hands to cover herself. 

“...Darling, where is this coming from?” he asked slowly, though she could hear him struggling to maintain his patience with her outburst. No, no, he didn’t get to be angry, because now it was her goddamn turn to be pissed at him and she wasn’t going to let him take that from her, not for a second. 

“What do you care?” she spat, reaching down to angrily undo her heels and slip out of them, tossing them carelessly to the side before covering herself up again. “Sooner or later, you’ll just be gone again, or you’ll come back and be too busy with your phone to notice your wife is in fucking lingerie, so do us both a favor and just get it over with now so I don’t have be disappointed again!” And with that, she spun on her heel and ran back up the stairs, ignoring the sound of his heavy footfall behind her as she rushed back to her room and slammed the door behind her, quickly locking it and sliding down the wood, sitting herself on the ground and trying to maintain her composure despite Zhuk quickly pounding on the door. 

“Y/N, let me in!” he demanded, trying to keep his voice as gentle as he could but goddammit, he was stressed and tired and this wasn’t what he was expecting to come home to, even if it was his fault for being so busy. . 

“Bite me!” she called back, not even caring how much trouble she’d likely land herself in for being so disrespectful. She was hurt, she was angry, and she didn’t give two flying fucks about him or his rules. She heard him snarl under his breath and smirked victoriously, suddenly growing more confident knowing that she could get under his skin. “Well, you could’ve, if you hadn’t been fucking blind.” 

“I will break down this door,” he growled, tugging aggressively at the doorknob to no avail. “You know damn well that your anger does not excuse bad behavior. Now be a good girl and let me in.” 

She was tempted, for a moment. Perhaps he’d apologize, hold her close, treat her right, the way he should’ve from the very beginning...but did she want to give in that easily? After all he put her through, didn’t he deserve to have to fight for what he wanted? Didn’t he deserve to wait as long as he made her wait? ...She couldn’t, could she? But hearing his frustrated muttering in Russian and his impatient pacing in front of her door...her decision was already made. She crawled away from the door to settle at the base of her bed, facing the door with her back against the edge of the mattress and slowly spreading her legs. Her fingers dipped below the waistband of her panties and down towards her pussy, and the hiss of pleasure she let out as she began to circle her clit got Zhuk quiet, his pacing coming to an abrupt halt.

“...What are you doing?” he asked, his voice hushed like the calm before a storm. She replied only with a soft moan. “Y/N, what are you doing?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she replied cheekily, her words cutting off with a soft gasp because fuck, this felt so good. She hadn’t let any of the others touch her while Zhuk was away, never finding herself quite in the mood for that kind of distraction, so it had been several days without this kind of touch and as badly as she wanted it from him, teasing him while he was helpless to stop her was simply sublime. 

“Think carefully now, dragotsennyy,” he growled, once again pawing uselessly at the door once more before pushing away from it with a frustrated snarl. “You can’t hide in there forever, and if you keep this up, I swear on the motherland that you will wish you were never born.” 

A shiver ran through her at the way he growled his threats at her, but the longer she got away with it, the more powerful she felt. There he was, an incredibly powerful demon that could break her in half with one hand if he wanted to, and he was at her mercy. The pleasure swirled together with the self-satisfaction to have her throwing her head back with laughter interspersed with pleasured gasps. 

“I already wish I was never born, that’s not much of a threat!” she retorted teasingly, letting one finger dip down to circle her entrance before pressing inside her. She moaned loudly, putting on as much of a show for her poor husband as she could. “Fuck, it feels so good! Don’t you wish it was you inside me, muzh? Oh well, too bad.” 

She quickly slipped another finger inside her, losing herself to the satisfaction of knowing that she was winning...she thought. But Zhuk was being strangely quiet. No pounding on the door, no jiggling the doorknob, not even a swear in Russian beneath his breath. It’s almost as if he’d left...but he wouldn't have. Not now, not again. She paused her ministrations, listening intently for any sign of hi-

CRASH. 

In an instant, she was lifted off of the floor, her husband’s hand wrapped firmly around her throat with her toes just barely scraping the ground. She gripped uselessly at his ironclad grip, struggling against him to no avail. His hair was a wild mixture of burning crimson and vibrant magenta, though his eyes were all anger, smoldering with an ire that was just ready to ignite. Her eyes traveled behind him, where she saw the remains of her door, hanging pathetically from its hinges. 

“I did tell you I would break down the door,” he said darkly. She couldn’t respond, not with his grip around her throat supporting her entire body weight- she gasped desperately for air when he dropped her to the floor, landing solidly on her knees at his feet. “Now...we’re going to try this again. Was this all for me, malen'kiy?��� 

Y/N stared up at him defiantly, keeping her mouth firmly shut despite knowing that there was no way he’d let her get away with it. Indeed, it only took a few seconds of petulant silence for him to tangle his fingers tightly in her hair, tugging harshly and wrenching a yelp from her throat. 

“Fine,” he spat, using his free hand to quickly undo his belt and lower his zipper, freeing his cock from the confines of his underwear. “I’ll put your mouth to better use, then.” He let go of her hair, but far from showing her mercy, he instead thrust his fingers into her mouth, prying it open forcefully before guiding his cock past her lips, groaning with satisfaction as he pushed himself all the way down her throat, stopping only when her nose was nestled firmly against his groin. He held her there until her eyes began to tear, but she held firm, keeping herself from gagging despite the impressive length of him pushing so far into her throat that her neck bulged. Finally, after far too long, he pulled back, giving her only a moment to rest before picking up a brutal pace, fucking her face as if it were only a toy. The feeling of his cock repeatedly plunging down her throat sent her mind spinning, and despite the defiance she so desperately clung to, she could feel the comfortable weight of submission slowly beginning to settle over her. She held still like a good girl, keeping her teeth back and mouth as wide open as she could no matter how badly her jaw ached. The longer he fucked her face like this, the more desperately she desired to be his perfect girl, her brattiness momentarily seeping out of her in favor of obedience. She missed this. Below her anger was a longing that caused her to miss him so terribly that she ached, and even if he was punishing her for her misbehavior, at least he was here. At least she was his. And there it was, the pleasant fuzziness that came with her submission, just on the edges of her awareness as he clutched desperately at her hair and took her mouth with utter brutality. She would be lucky if her throat didn’t ache come tomorrow morning. 

“Kakaya khoroshaya shlyukha, berushchaya moy chlen,” he snarled, letting himself have only a few more seconds of her mouth before pulling out completely, still holding her by the hair while he frantically stroked his cock. “Mouth open, tongue out.” 

She obeyed, as if she had much of a choice, her tongue lolling out of her mouth and her eyes slipping shut as she waited for, there it was, the warm feeling of his cum sticking to her skin, some landing on her exposed tongue but also clinging to her lips and even the tip of her nose. Knowing better than to swallow without permission, she held herself still, opening her eyes to watch the tail end of his orgasm before meeting his gaze obediently, allowing him to enjoy the sight of her covered in his cum. And enjoy it he did, taking several seconds to paint a mental picture of his wife marked so perfectly before letting go over her hair and moving to remove his pants. “Clean yourself up,” he commanded almost carelessly. 

She obeyed immediately, swallowing what was already on her tongue before using her fingers to clean the rest from her face, swallowing it dutifully. As she came back to herself after such an intense experience, her desire for revenge mixed with her overwhelming need to submit to his control as well as oil and vinegar. She wanted him to take her until she didn’t even remember why she was angry, but she also wanted to send him packing for ruining her perfect plans, and she wasn’t sure which desire was stronger. 

“On the bed,” he commanded, striding over to toss any extra decorative pillows to the floor. Her opposing desires swirled angrily in her mind, but despite the fuzziness at the edges of her vision that so often came with her willing submission, she stayed put, staring defiantly down at the ground. When Zhuk realized she had no intention of moving, he strode over to her slowly, now fully nude and his cock already beginning to reharden. 

“Is this the game you would like to play tonight, moya zhena?” he asked, his voice heavy with the weight of his dominance. She shivered at his tone, but held her tongue, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of her perfect obedience. “Because I have no problem with reminding you whose orders you’re meant to obey. Or have I left you alone so long that you’ve forgotten?” 

Her scowl only grew at the reminder that yes, he had left her alone too long, so this is exactly what he deserved. If he wanted her, he was going to have to be a big boy and take her. 

“Here are your options, dragotsennyy,” he said, almost too calmly. “You can obey me, as you are meant to, and climb willingly onto your bed. Or I could drag you up by the hair. Which will it be?”

Knowing this may be her last chance to speak, she lifted her head to smile petulantly at him, using every last ounce of brattiness left in her. 

“I’ll take what’s behind Door Number 2.” 

A man of his word, he fisted her hair with a snarl, showing no mercy as he dragged her up off the floor and onto her bed, paying no mind to her yelps of pain as he tossed her unceremoniously onto the mattress. He wasn’t far behind, pressing her down against the pillows and letting one hand trail tantalizingly down her body. 

“You dressed up so pretty for me, dorogoy,” he crooned in her ear, giving the lobe a nip. “It’s a shame you won’t get to wear this again.” 

Before she could even protest, he was on a rampage, tearing into her panties with a feral snarl and ripping them off her body with his teeth, setting the ruined garment aside to reveal her pussy, already dripping wet and ready for him. But he wasn’t done. He gripped tightly at her stockings, tearing them to shreds with inhuman strength and littering the bed with tiny scraps of fishnets. Deciding to show a sliver of mercy, he undid her harness rather than tear it off her and tossed it aside, leaving her completely bare and soaking wet for him. She grumbled under her breath knowing some of her favorite garments were ruined, but she couldn’t think about that, not when Zhuk was roughly wrenching her thighs apart and trailing his fingers between her folds, gathering her slick on the tips of his fingers with a hum. 

“Aww, and to think you acted so tough,” he mused, chuckling to himself when she shivered at his touch. “Would you like to see how wet you are for me, moya zhena?” 

Expecting his fingers, she balked when he reached for her ruined panties, having soaked them through from how wet she became from getting her face fucked. Zhuk balled them up and, not willing to wait for her to open her mouth, wrenched her lips open with two fingers pressing down on her tongue, quickly replacing them with her soiled panties and giving her a quick slap to her cheek for good measure, leaving behind a trail of her spit. She yelped around her panties, already tasting just how wet she’d become from the beginning of her punishment and blushing darkly at the shame of it all. Satisfied, Zhuk moved back down her body, pulling her thighs apart roughly to reveal her dripping pussy and sighing at the sight of it, aching for him to just slide inside of her. But...he had a better idea. 

“I don’t think I want to fuck such a slutty pussy,” he mused to himself, though it didn’t stop him from running his thumb between her folds and chuckling when she struggled to keep herself from whining in protest. “Aww, does my little brat want me inside her? Don’t fret, malenk’iy, you’ll still have me…” He trailed off, dragging his slick-soaked fingers up to circle the puckered rim of her ass. Realizing what he meant, she couldn’t stop herself from letting out a long, low moan, arching her ass up and grinding back against his teasing touch. Still, he kept it light, just barely circling her entrance with the tips of his fingers. “...but only if you beg.” 

Fuck. She growled under her breath in frustration, her panties already growing more soaked from her saliva. How did he expect her to beg with her panties in her mouth? Thinking about it for a moment, her cheeks grew red as she realized what he wanted, but...there was nothing that would keep her from having him inside her. 

“Please…” she whined, her words muffled as she struggled to speak around the lace filling her mouth. 

“What’s that? I can’t hear you, shlyuka.”

“Please, muzh, I want you…” 

“Louder!” 

“Please!” she yelled around her gag, blushing furiously at the sound of her muffled words. Still, it seemed to be enough for Zhuk, as he hummed in satisfaction to himself and quickly plunged one finger inside of her, hissing at the feeling of her tight walls clenching around him. She gasped loudly, trailing off to a reedy whine as she ground back on his finger, already desperate for more. He plunged his finger in and out of her before quickly adding another, spreading them apart to get her nice and stretched for him. A steady stream of whines and moans fell from her lips, muffled only slightly by her panties as the tips of his fingers stroked at her sensitive walls. When he thought she’d had enough, he pulled them out, cooing almost condescendingly at the way she whined in protest. 

“Patience, dorogoy,” he said almost mockingly, reaching into the bedside table to pull out a bottle of lube and quickly getting himself slicked up for her. “Or is my little slut truly that desperate for me?” 

She couldn’t deny it. That fuzziness on the fringe of her vision had grown, her submission fully settling over her enough that she was desperately needy for him. She would crawl on her hands and knees across the entire estate just to have his cock inside her. She settled down onto her elbows, making sure her ass was presented for him, and kept silent, not wanting to speak unless he truly asked her to. From now on, he was in control. 

“That’s what I thought,” he growled, quickly lining his cock up with her entrance. “Deep breath for me now, kotenok…” 

She inhaled deeply, and when he finally began to push inside of her, she released it with a desperate moan. Fuck, the stretch was perfect, his cock practically splitting her in half as he slid inside her without mercy, not stopping for a single second until he was fully hilted inside her, his hips pressed firmly up against her ass. 

“That’s it, there’s my good girl,” he hissed, struggling to keep himself still. He may have had to show her her place, but he still cared enough for her wellbeing not to start rutting her without giving her a moment to adjust. He leaned down, pressing the length of his chest to her back and whispering directly in her ear as he slowly began to move his hips. “This is what happens to naughty little brats who disobey. Do you understand?” 

“Yes,” she moaned around her gag, grinding back against his cock to encourage him to just take her. He gave in, starting up a quick, hard rhythm that had the headboard slamming against the wall with each thrust, but God, it wasn’t enough. “Please, harder!”

“Ohhhh no,” he growled, keeping his pace just shy of where she desperately needed it to be. “I don’t reward bad behavior, shlyuka. You want it that badly? Then I better hear you say you’re sorry.” 

If he’d asked her to 20 minutes ago, he would’ve been met with stony silence, but now, he’d so expertly taken down her walls and sent her so deep into subspace that she couldn’t stop herself if she tried.

“I’m sorry!” she cried out, trying in vain to grind back harder against the cock that she needed so badly. “I’m sorry I was bad, I’m sorry I teased you, please, just-ah!” 

There it was. Hearing those magic words, Zhuk simply snarled and buried his face into her neck, finally reaching the pace she craved. Every thrust inside her was like heaven, every nerve in her body alight with pleasure as her husband growled obscenities into her ear, taking her like an animal in heat. This, this was what she needed all goddamn week. 

“There’s my good girl,” he moaned directly into her ear, tangling his fingers in her hair just to wrench her head back to expose her neck. “Are you going to cum for me?”

Desperately, she nodded, reaching down to circle her fingers around her clit. Immediately, Zhuk slapped her hand away, replacing it with his own and pulling desperate yet muffled cries from her lips. Fuck, so close, just a little more-

“Cum for me,” he growled. “Let me feel my good little slut cum around my cock.” 

That was it. Her body gave in to the command, her orgasm rushing over her like a wave of heat hitting every nerve in her body, a desperate scream wrenching from her throat as she trembled in his arms. Zhuk fucked her through it, grunting with each thrust before reaching his own climax, spilling into her with a quiet groan. Out of breath, shaky, and blissed out beyond belief, Y/N collapsed onto the mattress, barely even feeling when Zhuk pulled out of her, his cum rushing hotly down her pussy and onto the mattress. Ignoring it completely, he moved up to pull her into his arms, letting her rest against his broad chest. He doted on her as much as he could, guiding her soaked panties out of her mouth and tossing them aside before pressing a soft kiss to her lips and petting her hair, just wanting her to know that he was there. Slowly, she came back to herself, her eyes sliding open to see her husband smiling softly down at her. 

“Are you alright now, moya lyubov?” he asked softly. With a smile, she nodded, nuzzling into him lovingly. When he sighed almost despondently, she looked back up at him with concern, finding remorse shining in his eyes. “You were right. I’ve been neglecting you too much lately, and I promise you that I won’t be rushing off on a business trip any time soon. That didn’t give you an excuse to misbehave, but I’m sorry that I made you feel as if you had to act out to get my attention.” With a soft smile, Y/N leaned up to kiss his cheek, nuzzling against him before settling back on his chest.

“Apologize again to me in the morning,” she said, her words interrupted with a yawn. “I might’ve forgotten by then...” 

And with that, she drifted off to sleep, comforted by the fact that finally, finally, her husband was home. 

[12yeahiminluvwu]

Bad Enough For You

pairing - pop-punk!jj x pop punk!reader

summary- JJ wants you all to himself, and he’ll do anything he has to to make that happen, even if it means reverting to his old ways. 

word count- 2,265

warning(s)- swearing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of drugs, 

----------------------

From the wings, JJ watched as the girl he had shamelessly obsessed over for months sang her lungs out and jumped around the stage like she owned the place. He could tell that this was her element. The stage was where she belonged. From where he stood, he could see her chest moving up and down as she fought hard to breathe but you wouldn’t know by the way she hit every note like it was second nature to her. He watched the way she got down on her knees, reaching out for the crowd and singing right to them. She was fucking good at this. It was no question why they were the most popular band in the little college town. 

Y/n was somewhat of a mystery to JJ, even after all this time. He couldn’t figure her out, no matter how hard he tried. He watched countless guys come and go, none of them fitting her standards- of which he had no clue what they were. 

He was always nice to her- which was his first mistake. Y/n wasn’t into the nice guy type. Unbeknownst to JJ, she liked her boy, and girls, as bad as they come. Her last boyfriend was a drug dealer from the southside of town who looked like he definitely had killed someone before. She never bothered to ask though, it was just better that way. His second mistake was trying to get her attention. She didn’t give it to anyone she knew wanted it, except for fans on stage. So there JJ was, shit out of luck. It wasn’t until one night after a hopeless encounter that he decided he’d start trying to be someone she would pay attention to. That had been a few weeks ago now. JJ knew how to be an asshole. He’d done it most of his teenage years back home on the island. 

As the band was coming off stage, Y/n waited for the typical “Hey good job out there!” from JJ, but all she got was a cold shoulder. He didn’t even acknowledge her, even if all he wanted to do was spin her around and tell her how amazing she’d been. He had to be the bad guy now, because that’s the only way he’d get to her. She brushed it off quickly and made her way back to the green room, whereas JJ and his boys made their way onto the stage. 

--------

“Anyone know The Band CAMINO?” JJ asked and the crowd erupted in loud chants and screams. The tune to See Through filled the bar and the crowd got even louder. She didn’t know it, but Y/n was the inspiration for the band singing this song tonight. 

Now it was Y/n’s turn to watch from the wings. She kept her gaze on the blond bassist, silently wishing he would stop trying so hard to get at her. 

The air in the bar was damp and smelled like sweat and cheap beer. It was packed wall to wall, for sure violating some type of fire code, but who really cared anyway. The only sound you could hear from here all the way down the block was the live music being played. Lights shined on the boys, illuminating every inch of their skin, making them look like absolute gods. JJ, as usual, had ended up taking his shirt off a few songs into the set, making everyone in the crowd go crazy. Y/n had to admit, the boy knows how to work an audience. He knows exactly what to do to drive them crazy, and if he wasn’t such a kiss ass off stage, she might give him a chance. She just wasn’t into the kind of guys who would drop everything and come running. She liked the chase. She liked feeling like she had to earn the attention of someone, she didn’t like when it came easy. 

“Rebound feeling like a rerun, everything that we've done, funny how it all played out.

You're good at looking at me like I'm see-through but I gotta see you, I shoulda learned by now.” The vein in JJ’s neck was straining as he poured his heart into the song. In that moment, with the crowd roaring and the sweat dripping down his face, he felt like he was flying. He felt invincible, and for a moment- he forgot about Y/n. But only for a moment, because as soon as the next verse fell out of his mouth, her image came flooding back into his mind like a tidal wave. 

“How do I get your attention? How does it feel to always have mine? How do I address this tension? How you're looking through me every time? Got me out here, got me thinking what I would do, got me in my head, got me wishing I was with you. God, I'm wishing I was with you.” Quickly, JJ glanced over to where you stood and before you could notice, his eyes shifted back to the crowd in front of him. 

------------------------

Post gig was always JJ’s favorite time because he got to hang out with his boys and revel in the high that was performing live. The air was still thick from the events tonight but the boys didn’t care. The afterparty had moved from the bar to the band’s shared apartment and Y/n’s band was here too. JJ did his best to keep his gaze off of her, but her smile lit up the whole room, and he couldn’t ignore the way he felt when she was around. But he knew that if he showed any of that at all, it would send her running for the hills. 

There she was, standing with a drink in her hand, laughing with the lead singer of his band and driving him crazy. He tried to focus on the music playing and the conversation he was having about how good Ashton Irwin’s solo music was, and how his album is going to be a huge hit, but he found himself drifting back to her every time. Excusing himself, he walked into the kitchen to make himself a stronger drink. He stopped cold when he saw who was standing at the counter, back facing him. Shaking his head, and ignoring the hitch in his throat, he brushed past her, reaching around the counter to find what he was looking for. 

“You’ve been pretty quiet lately Maybank… any particular reason?” The girl asked from beside him. He looked over at you quickly, simply shrugging his shoulders. That was all he gave you, hoping it would be enough to keep your attention a little longer without looking too interested. You gave him a once over before continuing on with your night. 

JJ had left you wanting more, believe it or not. You suddenly wanted to know why he detached himself from you. Was he losing interest in you? Or using reverse psychology to get your attention. Either way, it made your mind race. The more he drew away, the closer you wanted to get. This was the chase you wanted. 

By the end of the night, you were drunk off your ass and had somewhat attached yourself to JJ. He paid you no mind other than keeping you from falling over every once and awhile. 

“Do you need a ride home?” He asked as people started to clear out and head home. He hadn’t ended up drinking as much as he thought he would, and was completely sober. 

“Probably…” You giggled and laid your head on his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his middle, attempting to pull him closer to you. On the inside, he was freaking out. His heart was permanently beating at a million miles an hour, his palms sweating and breath caught in his throat, but to anyone looking your way, he looked cool as a cucumber. No one would be able to tell that he was freaked out by the girl of his dreams hanging off him like they were in love. 

JJ looked around and saw that your whole band had left and that you two were the only ones left in the living room. 

“We should get you back home…” He trailed off, walking the two of you over to the couch and sitting you down so he could grab your things before helping you back up and out to his car. He reached across to belt you in and gently shut the door. Starting the car, the quiet hum of Bad Enough For You by All Time Low filled in the silence between the two of you. 

“You know…” Y/n started to say and JJ glanced over at her before returning his gaze to the road. After looking at her ID for her address, he made his way through the streets. 

“I actually think you’re really attractive, but you made it wayyy too obvious that you had a thing for me so I pushed you away… because it scares me when people show an interest in me… be-because usually people just leave in the end anyway…” 

JJ was quiet for a moment. Had you just admitted that you liked him? 

“Why, don’t we talk about this tomorrow when you’re sober?” He asked, parking his car in front of her apartment. Coming around the side of the car, he helped her up out of the seat and walked her to the door, grabbing her keys from her to open the door. 

“Will you stay?” She slurred and he hesitated. 

“I don’t know if that’s the best idea Y/n…” 

“Please? We don’t have to do anything, I just don’t want to be alone when I wake up…” The look on her face was enough to make him do anything she asked him to. His heart melted and he nodded, walking behind her, hands intertwined, to her bedroom. She shimmied out of her skinny jeans and took her bra off under the baggy band tee-shirt that had been tucked into the pants, plopping down on the queen mattress. JJ kicked off his docs and shimmied out of the jeans he’d been wearing before climbing into bed next to her. She tucked herself right into his chest like it was her own little spot and was out in seconds. JJ, on the other hand, took a little longer to fall asleep. He started down at you, your cheek pressed up against his chest, hair all over the place. He’d never seen you look this peaceful, not even on stage. Slowly, he brought his hand up to brush the stray hairs out of your face.  He just couldn’t get his mind to shut off. But eventually, his eyelids fell heavily closed and sleep took over him. 

--------------------------

When morning came, you had trouble remembering where you were, and who you were with… Looking up at the person you were laying a slight rush of releifewashed over you, but then you started to worry about what happened last night and lifted the blanket in hopes that your clothes, and his, were still intact. Thank fuck, they were. 

You felt JJ take a deep breath and closed your eyes, pretending to be asleep still, doing your best to ignore the pounding headache that resided at the base of your neck. You could tell JJ had a mini freakout, similar to yours, when he opened his eyes. But then his memories of last night came back. Yours came back in pieces, while his came back in a rushing wave. You remembered suddenly wanting all of his attention and doing your best to get it, until your bandmate kept handing you vodka sodas and before you knew it you were hanging all over him the rest of the night. If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, you somehow got him to stay the night with you. And now here you were, tangled in your bedsheets. 

Slowly, you looked up at him, trying to gage the situation. He looked down at you, the smallest hint of a smile ghosting across his lips. You found yourself staring at them. The feeling of his fingers trailing up your arm sent shivers down your spine, and heat rushed to your cheeks. 

“Uh, hi…” You trailed off, absentmindedly tracing shapes along his abs, sometime last night his shirt had come off, leaving him in his boxers. 

“Hey.” He smiled. His voice was deep and scratchy due to the lack of use overnight, his nerves didn’t help any. 

“Coffee?” You asked after a pause and he chuckled lightly, nodding his head. You nodded back at him before pushing yourself out of bed and making your way to the kitchen. JJ wasn’t too far behind you, taking a seat on the other side of the island. 

“So… last night was interesting…” He began, trying to get the conversation flowing. 

“Yeah, uh. I was pretty fucking drunk so. I don’t really remember anything I said…” You admitted from where you stood at your keurig. 

“Well, to sum it up, you told me to stop being such a try hard and you think I’m hot.”

“That sounds like something I would say, yeah.” The two laughed and another moment of silence fell on them. 

“Well, I would be down to go out if you are…?” She said and JJ did his best to contain his excitement. 

“Yeah, that’d be cool.” He said and she smiled, realizing she’d been right about him just faking the hard ass act to get her to like him.

[tirednerd2012]

Maybe one where Ian and Barley have been kidnapped and they want to hurt Barley, but Ian offers himself in Barley's place so they take him instead? And while they're hurting Ian, Barley breaks free and has to go save him? (I know you've written a lot already, though, so if you want to you can delete this post.)

WARNING: Abusive relationship mentioned.

First off, I will never delete any requests unless it involves something that truly makes me uncomfortable. I'm recovering from some hospital time and I'm bored, so I really don't mind. If anything this is helping me go to sleep. I enjoyed writing this one, though! This AU character I've been working on for a minute for a different series I was thinking about uploading. I was thinking about a quest, but this one came a little easier for me to write. I hope you like it, but if you would like it changed, let me know!

Dammit, Barley thought, as he woke up with a splitting headache. When he tried to get up, he realized he was tied up. That woke him right up and he heard a groaning beside him. Ian.

He looked over and saw his little brother's forehead bleeding slightly. He tried to break free from the ropes, but couldn't. What the hell was going on? What happened last?

"Ian, are you okay?" he asked, but only got another groan. "I'll get us out of here, don't worry."

"I wouldn't be sure about that," a familiar voice said and Barley's blood ran cold. Drew. They broke up about a month prior because Drew wasn't just jealous and controlling, he was dangerous. He would hit Barley when they were arguing, threatened him, did anything to make him feel like Drew had dominance. Barley started to wonder if his mom and brother were safe when his boyfriend was around, and he knew he had to shut that down. He still had nightmares of Drew's hands on his neck when they were fighting one day and Barley was too drunk to defend himself. He hadn't drank since.

Drew was taller than Barley, but not quite as burly as him. Though he didn't look it, he was strong. He could easily overpower Barley when they fought. His dark hair was rare for an elf, and it was one of the things Barley found attractive at the beginning of their relationship.

He should have known this would come back and bite him in the ass.

"Drew, what are you doing?" he asked, trying to keep his cool. His ex came down from the stairs. A basement, Barley realized. They were definitely in a basement.

"I told you, you can't just leave me. You don't get to decide that," Drew snapped. He picked up his knife from the table nearby and put it to Barley's throat. He tried to hide his terror, but he knew he was probably failing.

Him and Ian had been driving in the van. He remembered a crash, but that was it. Did this guy hit them?

"What do you want?"

"For you to suffer, Barley. I tried to give you another chance, but you've tied my hands. I don't know when you thought you had any say so in us, but you didn't. You are nothing. You don't get to chose who loves you," Drew sneered.

"Leave him alone, you jerk," Ian snapped. When did he wake up?

"Ian," Barley said. He never liked Drew, another reason Barley had to end the relationship. He trusted his brother more than anyone.

"Well, well, if it isn't Ian. Truthfully, I had no idea you were in that van, too, but hey, work with what you have, right?" Drew laughs. His attention turned back to Barley, looking at him with cold, blue eyes that sent a chill down the oldest Lightfoot's spine.

Barley told himself this is how he would die.

"Now, Barley, as I was saying, you need to learn a lesson," Drew said, but before he could cut Barley, Ian's voice cut through everything.

"Leave him alone!" Barley never heard such confidence from Ian before. Drew turned away from Barley and focused his attention to his little brother.

"Wow, Ian, never expected this from you. Tell me, what is your goal here? Why should I spare him after everything he did?" Drew asked.

"Because," Ian paused, as if desperately trying to think of anything to save his brother, "because you can do whatever you planned on doing to him to me instead."

"Ian, no! Stop!" Barley ordered, but it was too late.

Drew's eyes fixated on his brother, then back at him. He saw the panic in his eyes. Anyone who knew Barley knew he loved his brother and mother more than anything in the world. He would take any physical punishment over something happening to Ian. And he wasn't in a position where he could act as the protector.

"You know, Ian, for a bright kid, you sure are stupid. But, we can have some fun," Drew said, finally. He cut Ian free, but before he could do anything, he grabbed a fistful of his hair and looked at Barley. "Enjoy your brother's screams, love."

"I'm going to kill you," Barley snapped. His fear faded away and was replaced with anger. He looked at Drew like the most disgusting thing in the world. "Leave him out of this."

"Where's the fun in that?" Drew teased, and then proceeded to drag Ian up the stairs. His brother tried his hardest not to show any sign of pain or weakness, but Barley could feel it anyway. It seemed like the moment that door shut, wherever they were filled with Ian's screams.

"Ian! Ian!" he called over and over. He felt tears pouring down his face, but he didn't care. Ian was in danger. He had taken Barley's punishment. He was paying for a stupid mistake Barley made. He never should have gotten with Drew. It was a fling that turned into something poisonous and deadly.

He continued to struggle with the ropes. He was so angry he felt the adrenaline coursing through his veins and he slammed his body against the other side, trying to break free. He would kill Drew.

He heard Ian cry out again and tell Drew to get the hell off him. He heard Drew tell Ian that he should prepare himself because he was just getting started.

Why the hell did he have to take Barley's place? The older looked around the room once more and noticed that Drew left some tools on the table. He probably planned on torturing Barley right here, but saw the opportunity to take Ian from him and knew that would be the worst punishment.

He managed to pull the table forward with his foot and then had to struggle and get a pair of scissors in his hand. It took awhile and Ian cried out more. Drew yelled from upstairs that he was worried about Ian losing blood. He heard him tell Ian to scream all he wanted, no one was around to save him.

"You're going to die alone and then I'm going to let your brother see what I've done. I'll tell him everything right before I kill him slower than I've killed you. I want him to relish your death," Drew said once Ian went quiet. Barley's heart raced faster and he managed to cut the rope. He grabbed the scissors and ran up the stairs. The door was locked, but he busted it down no problem. He saw Drew and Ian in a living room. Ian was covered in blood. His flannel had been taken off and revealed cuts along his body. His jeans were torn and soaked with red.

But Ian was alive. He still managed to set up, but Drew yanked him up and held the knife to his throat. He glared at Barley.

"I told you that you didn't get to leave me," he warned.

"Just leave Ian out of this. Let him go. I'll stay if that's what you want. We can be together again, just leave him alone," Barley said. He would stay here forever if it meant saving Ian's life. All he needed to do was get to the van. He had nectar from a healing flower there. He and Ian grabbed it a few weeks ago during a quest and agreed to save it for an emergency.

"You really are useless, huh? You're a shit son and horrible boyfriend and the one person left in this world that loves you and even admires you, you've failed to protect," Drew said. "I could kill him right now, you know that right? I could slit his throat and that would be that. He would be gone. Could you live with that?"

"You know the answer."

"Exactly. Yet I've been up here, putting a scar on his body for each time you rejected me," Drew said, running the knife along Ian's throat. He was barely awake and couldn't even look at Barley. The older felt like he could be sick. He wanted nothing more than to pull Ian out of this nightmare.

"Drew, please. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it," Barley said. He resisted the urge to bring the scissors out of his pocket.

"You'd be willing to stay here to save him?"

"Yes."

Drew dropped Ian. His abuser for months on end, who manipulated him into doing things he didn't want to, who beat him on multiple occasions, who made him feel like he was absolutely nothing, approached him. For a moment, Barley felt paralyzed. Drew walked over and kissed Barley.

He looked over at Ian and again, his fear turned to rage. Within a moment that Barley found to be a blur, he brought the scissors out and stabbed his ex in the chest. He watched his eyes widen with horror and he collapsed. Then he ran to Ian.

His brother was barely breathing.

"Ian? Ian?" he shook his shoulder. The youngest opened his eyes and smiled at the sight of his brother physically unharmed.

"Barley, are you okay?"

"Really? You're worried about me?" Barley asked through the tears. Ian had been around him too long. He lifted him in his arms and got him outside. Drew towed the van with his old truck. He knew damn well Drew thought this plan out. He wanted to be sure no one knew the boys were missing. He got him to the edge of the van and cried in relief when he found the nectar in the jar without a scratch.

He kneeled beside Ian and forced him to drink. Then he held on to him, whispering how much he loved him, how brave he was and that everything was okay. After a few minutes, the wounds healed, but left several scars that Barley imagined would either be there for awhile or the rest of Ian's life.

"Barley?" the younger asked. Barley cried and hugged him again. "I'm so sorry, I just- I wanted you to be okay."

"You scared me, why would you do that?"

"I love you. I get you want to protect me, but I don't want anything to happen to you either. Especially that guy, I mean, I just wanted him away from you. I didn't care if that meant I got hurt."

"Ian, in all seriousness," Barley said, "never take my place like that again."

"Barley."

"No. I can handle a lot, okay? I can take pain, I'll get through it one way or another. But what I can't handle is someone taking you from me; I can't handle losing you," Barley cut in, his voice betraying him and cracking at the last part. He placed his hands on his shoulders. Both of them still had tears in their eyes. "I-I thought I lost you. I was so scared."

"I know what Drew did to you, Barley. I couldn't let that happen again. If the roles were reversed, we both know you would have done the same."

He pulled his brother into a tight hug. He placed a hand in his hair and held him close.

"All that matters is you're safe. He can't hurt you again."

Barley made himself a promise that he would never let anything hurt Ian again.

[legendsoffodlan]

Dimitri - Golden Deer Supports - Raphael

(I’m rewriting his supports with Raphael but not Marianne because his support chain with Marianne is perfect)

-

-

Raphael - Rewritten

C - Support

Raphael: Thirty-one! Thirty-two!

Dimitri: Ah, is that Raphael?

*Dimitri enters the training ground to see Raphael exercising*

Raphael: Heya Your Highness! You here to train with me?

Dimitri: Actually I’m here on cleaning duty. And please, call me Dimitri.

Raphael: Heh, sure thing Dimitri! But since you’re here, you wanna train? Maybe have a sparring match? I always wondered how I’d stack up against you. Muscle strength vs. Crest strength. Let’s go!

Dimitri: Heh, heh. You know, Raphael, I’ve always admired you.

Raphael: Eh? Me?

Dimitri: Your work ethic and your drive. It’s... admirable.

Raphael: Well, I don’t really have much of a choice. I’ve gotta become a Knight. It’s the only way I can support my little sister.

Dimitri: And an admirable goal to boot. I’d say you already have the heart of a Knight Raphael.

Raphael, rubbing the back of his neck: aw, come on Dimitri. You’re gonna make me blush. Now, how about we have that match!

Dimitri: Very well, let us go!

-

B - Support 

*note: this support only becomes available after the Paralogue : Death Toll*

Raphael: Ah, that was one fine meal!

Dimitri, off to the side: Ahem.

Raphael: I really outta thank the Kitchen Staff. They really went the extra mile on this one.

Dimitri: Ahem!

Raphael: Aha! I’ll cook for them this time and-

Dimitri: AHEM!

Raphael: Huh? Oh, hey Dimitri! Didn’t see you there! Are you hungry? I could order another meal from the kitchen.

Dimitri: No, Raphael. I actually wished to have a word with you.

Raphael: Oh. Okay! What’s up buddy?

Dimitri: Raphael... you loved your parents did you not?

Raphael: Huh? Course I did.

Dimitri: Then why, pray tell, are you allowing their deaths to go unavenged?!

Raphael: Huh? My parents were killed by monsters Dimitri. There’s not much to avenge there.

Dimitri: I am referring to Count Gloucester.

Raphael: Oh. That.

Dimitri: How can you stand knowing that the man responsible for their deaths is still alive?! How can you have any thought other than bringing them justice?!

Raphael: Hey, there’s no real proof he did anything! And besides, if I went running out there for revenge there’s a good chance I’d get killed. And then who’d look after my sister and grandpa?

Dimitri: So you are willing to let your parents’ deaths go unanswered to save your own hide?

Raphael: Look, Dimitri, I don’t know why you’re so upset, but I’ll tell it to you square. I’ve got people I love. People I’ve gotta look after. And I’m not about to make them lose even more by going and getting myself killed. If my parents do care about what I do now, they’d want me to look after what I’ve got left.

Dimitri: I was wrong about you Raphael. You are a coward.

-

Post-Timeskip

-

A - Support

*note: this Support is only available after the Battle of Gronder Field*

Raphael, watering plants: There we go, all nice and watered! Drink up and you’ll grow big and strong!

*Dimitri enters the greenhouse*

Raphael: Oh! Hey Dimitri! You’re looking better.

Dimitri: Yes. I’m feeling better as well.

Raphael: I see that! You smell better too. You took a shower?

Dimitri: Ah-hah! Yes. The Professor insisted.

Raphael: I’m glad you’re doing better Dimitri. You were pretty scary there for awhile. Glad you’re back to normal.

Dimitri: Normal... I’m not sure what normal is anymore Raphael. I’m trying to be better, though. Better than what I was.

Raphael: Well, whatever you’re doing, it’s working for ya.

Dimitri: Indeed... Raphael... I wanted to apologize. For what I said.

Raphael: Huh? For what?

Dimitri: What I said to you before the war, when I called you a coward. That was wrong. I was wrong.

Raphael: Really? I’d practically forgotten about it all. Thanks, though!

Dimitri: … That’s it? You can forgive me that easily?

Raphael: Why not? You apologized.

Dimitri: Yes but, I was so cruel to you! I said such awful things.

Raphael: Hey, Dimitri, it’s okay. It was five years ago anyway. We’re buddies again now, so let’s put it behind us!

Dimitri: Heh, ha, a-hahaha! You truly are one of a kind Raphael. I wish I were half that man you are.

Raphael: What? But we’re the same height. I guess I might be a little taller than you...

Dimitri: Nevermind, my friend. Now, how about we get something to eat. You must be starving.

Raphael: Alright! Let’s go!

-

A+ - Support

Raphael, in the Archbishop’s Garden: Heya Dimitri! Didn’t expect to see you here.

Dimitri: Raphael. I’m surprised to see you up here... stargazing? I didn’t know you practiced that hobby.

Raphael: Nah, my little sister does though. I like to stare up sometimes I think that she’s looking up at the same stars I am.

Dimitri: I see... Raphael, I have a question for you.

Raphael: Eh? Sure, what is it?

Dimitri: I- How do you do it? How do you forgive so easily?

Raphael: Huh? Well geez, I dunno. I just, I guess I never really had time for grudges, you know. It just seemed like a waste of time to me. I mean, if someone apologizes and means it, why shouldn’t I forgive them?

Dimitri: Even the death of your parents?

Raphael: Oh, yeah, that. I mean, I don’t really think I do.

Dimitri: What do you mean?

Raphael: Well, if Count Gloucester was behind it, I don’t think I do. But revenge... I just don’t have time for it, you know? I got family to look after, a war to win. And it never really seemed worth the effort. Going out and causing more pain just to still feel bad about losing my parents.

Dimitri: ... Raphael, even if you never reach Knighthood, you have a the soul of one.

Raphael: Heh, thanks Dimitri.

Dimitri: Raphael... I care for you. a great deal. When this is over, I would ask if you would enter my service, as an advisor.

Raphael: Huh? Really? Me? I mean, I don’t know how good at it I’d be.

Dimitri: You would have to be made a Lord, of course.

Raphael: Really?! Me?!

Dimitri: Yes. You and your family would want for nothing ever again. And I cannot think of a person more deserving of the post.

Raphael: Well jeez. Sounds great! I just, you know, need to think about it.

Dimitri: Thank you, my friend. I... I would be happy to have you at my side.

-

Paired Ending: The Savior King and the Forgiving Knight: When King Dimitri returned home, he brought with him Lord Raphael and his family, set to become the King’s most trusted advisor and dearest friend. Some speculated that their relationship was more... intimate than that, but nothing was ever confirmed. Raphael remained by his friend’s side till their dying days. Whatever their relationship, there was a bond between them that could not be broken.

[sunseteyes]

complicated; yuu nishinoya

—nishinoya wasn’t so used to having someone who likes him just as much as he likes them. to have you by his side, he wanted to give you everything. but what if you didn’t need it?

word count: 1,585 words  | theme/s: fluff + slight angst. birthday oneshot for our best libero! | random name: (r/n)

original artist: avril lavigne (cover by olivie o’brien) | link to song

all his life, nishinoya was used to running towards something, or maybe someone; a goal, a girl, his grades, the ball—whatever it was, nishinoya prided himself in always being able to catch-up or attain what he wants.

for what? well, of course there were individual reasons for each, but one thing for sure is that he doesn’t want to give up. he believes that if he can dream big, then he’ll have to take bigger steps as well.

when nishinoya first met you, he knew something about you was special, and that was why by instincts, he tried to get to know you. although before he could even chase you, he didn’t had to.

you were already facing him.

he could remember—how your eyes and entire expression brightened up at the sight of him, your lips curving up into a precious grin.

“hey! aren’t you the libero of the volleyball team?” were your first words to him. he remembers how it took him a few seconds to respond due to his surprise—you know him? a beautiful being like you knows him?

“you know me?! uh-yeah, that’s me! i’m the best libero of karasuno!” he pointed at himself with chest held up high and shoulders back, feeling like the sun had posed a ray of sunshine towards him, as if he was under its spotlight.

you giggled, smiling at his antics. “you’re the only libero, nishinoya-san.”

even if he knew that it was supposed to be embarrassing him, the kind look on your face told him otherwise—and it was what made him stay, wrapped around your finger.

he followed you everywhere—when there’s no training, he’d be taking you to the train station to where you’d go down to, or he’d invite you to eat somewhere. however, that only happens a few times since he’s always in training.

what surprised nishinoya was, he’s not the only one chasing for the other—you were also wrapped around his finger.

“you can go home if you want, (y/n)-”

“no, it’s fine. i’ll wait for you.”

it took awhile before nishinoya had gotten used to it, being in a mutually involved relationship—even if you weren’t official yet, for him, he thinks that’s where everything will go anyway. but still, he couldn’t help but be covered with disbelief; it was not that he was losing confidence in himself, but it was more like he didn’t expect you to come so easily and that fast.

it was like when he had achieved catching a blocked ball, or when he could receive ushijima’s attacks—the feeling was the same, as if he had achieved something that everyone, even himself, first thought he couldn’t.

still, he couldn’t help but wonder; is what he’s doing now enough to make you stay?

“i told you, yuu. you didn’t have to send me a rose each day.” you say, still with a gentle look on your face whilst holding the red roses he had just given earlier in the morning. nishinoya’s chest swelled in pride at that simple fact.

“and besides, how do you even get them? i heard it’s hard to buy them especially this season.” he watches as you avert your eyes from him to the rose, gaze boring into the hue of the petals, as if it was a mystery that remains uncovered.

nishinoya knows you love flowers, anything nature-made actually. he took note of all your mannerisms such as looking up at the sky when you’re bored, or when you close your eyes as you breathed of fresh air that slaps on your face, stopping by for awhile to take a picture of a cherry blossom or anything that catches your eye—he knows them.

“we have a neighbor that lets me get them! so don’t worry about the cost, (y/n)-san!”

“they sound nice. maybe let’s repay them, don’t you think? i mean, these roses are so beautiful.”

nishinoya took awhile before answering, engrossed at your resolve to do something nice for other people—it was one thing he loves about you.

“oh i know! i’ll bake them cookies then let’s give it to them.” you smiled brightly at your idea, a similar one growing into nishinoya’s.

“you’re so kind, (y/n)-san! i’m sure they’ll love it!”

needless to say, nishinoya was head over heels for you and he was willing to do everything for you--buy you gifts, pay for your meals, he was willing to do all of them.

what he didn’t know, was you didn’t need it.

“didn’t you know? (y/n), they’re very rich!” tanaka whispers to him in training once, after he was so proud to mention of all the things he had done for you. “words say that they live in a mansion!”

that conversation kept on replaying in nishinoya’s mind, making him lose focus a couple of times in the practice match they had. for some reason, it bothered him that he failed to give you the best of what you deserved. for all he knows, you have your own garden back at home and his rose per day was only for nothing.

he had never had a chance with someone before. and now that he actually has, it feels like he was slipping it from his hands, the very ones he was proud to have for being suited as a libero.

“what are you thinking, noya?” your voice pulls him off of his thoughts, magnetized at the pleasant sound that reaches his ears, forgetting the negativity that surrounded him just seconds ago.

“do you want to go on a date, (y/n)-san?” it was his motivated tone again, one that he always use when he’s determined to catch the ball or do something he couldn’t do first.

“hm? to where?”

“i know a restaurant nearby-”

“can we go on our usual place instead?” you interrupted him and he realized that he wasn’t even looking at you, his eyes averted somewhere at the thoughts of how his money could even afford to take you out on an expensive date.

but now that he was looking at you in the eye. he could see the look of contentment that he had always seen, whenever you two go out or when he gives you simple things.

“i miss the ramen there! or maybe-wait, that’s if you just want to. we can go somewhere else if you like.” you offered him a kind smile, feeling like a weight has lifted off of him for the meantime.

nishinoya grins, “then it’s the usual indeed! i’m free tomorrow, what do you think, (y/n)-san?”

and just when he thought that everything was going well, the very foundation he built through all the times he tried to see the hope he tried to imbue in his mind shattered the moment someone walks in your life again.

“is that you, (y/n)?”

he took note of how your figure froze as you look up at the man that went beside your table with wide eyes, instantly recognizing the voice without glancing—he noticed them.

then that must mean-

“(r/n)?” you stuttered. “what are you doing here?”

the other smiles, seemingly welcoming and unpleasant at the same time. “i live nearby. i didn’t expect to see you here in this cheap place. it’s been a long time, don’t you think?”

nishinoya’s gaze followed the constant blinking of your eyes and how you sipped on your drink. you were nervous--this guy was making you nervous.

if his assumptions were correct,

“excuse me,” he interrupts the conversation, forcing himself in the bubble that the newcomer created for you and him, leaving nishinoya out. but no, he knows how to fight.

“(y/n), i think we should go home.” he stands up from his seat, abandoning the meal that was in front of him to walk over by your side and offers his hand. “it’s already late, don’t you think?”

“hey boy-”

your hand reaches out for his, placing it on his palm him feeling its weight alongside the glare that he receive from the other guy.

“that guy... is he your ex?” nishinoya didn’t want to pry, but his curiosity had gotten the best of him he could barely stop himself.

your expression says it all, the usual brightness of the sun devoured by a dimness that the dark sets once the light disappears.

instead of letting you be covered completely, he steps in.

“i’m right here if you need me, (y/n)-san!” he exclaims before you step out of the train. you turn your head to look at him one last time, along with the other passengers who were probably sending him weird looks. but nishinoya couldn’t be bothered, for it was your smile and the words you uttered that shouted more in his mind, lifting his spirits up when he thought of them wrongly.

“i know you are, yuu.” you rarely call him by his first name, even if he freely allowed you to do so. every time you do, he just knows that you were sincere with your words.

when the doors closed, it was the look in your eyes that changed his thoughts, the one that had been confused of where he stood in the relationship he barely could tell is official. somewhere in his mind, he knew that he he was being complicated and he didn’t have to excel much more effort in order to gain your heart.

because he already had—right from the start. even if it was a simple reassurance, he’d take it. for you, he’s ready to catch whatever challenges ahead.

rv: i had to repost it because i thought the time was not right & i revised a few things. anyway, this is my first time writing for haikyuu i hope i did not disappoint aaa

taglist: @kacchanori @chickynn @todominica @kuroolongtea (adding you here because thanks to you i have the courage to post this)