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#anyways idk why i felt the need to share this but yeah fun facts about lauren
berryunho · 4 months
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it's only when normal people give me music recommendations that I realize what strange and inexplicable music taste I have like wtf is wrong w me
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the-kingshound · 4 months
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Warning inane ramble incoming, it’ll probably be annoying I apologize. (*_ _)人 I spent the last several days reading every post here. I managed to convince myself to start liking some (sorry about that I’m sure it was annoying to get all those notifications) I have this weird thing where I get nervous about liking older posts cuz I mean it’s been a long time and it’s unprompted so that’s weird right? It feels weird like I’m doing something wrong or I’m being annoying, I considered reblogging too but somehow that felt worse? Sorry I am not good with social rules they confuse me both on and offline Idk my brain is wrong and I’m just a nervous socially anxious snail. (>﹏<)
Anyways just wanted to gush about how much I love it here and I’m never leaving (´꒳`) ♡ First and foremost Yniol has a special place in my heart they will forever be my favorite bestie (*^ω^)人(^ω^*), yes I am biased as my partner is grey and though they don’t play IFs they were thrilled to learn about your character! Also your writing is just phenomenal, your fans are fun and creative, your characters give such warm and positive energy I love them so much they’re perfect, the inclusivity is such chefs kiss ( ´ з `) 🤌🏻✨, the angst is delicious, the fluff is so sweet and comforting, the spice is ... very blush-worthy (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄). This has been a journey I laughed, I cried, I giggled, and I blushed and I have enjoyed every bit of it from pasta discourse to Moldien cult wars to Arthur bunnies, I’ve had the most wonderful time. Now my mind is gonna be filled with Arthurian stuff for months my maladaptive daydreaming is having the time of its life I have a road trip next week and I’m so looking forward to just staring out a window for 6+hours while my Hound's just alternating daydream adventures with the cast o(≧▽≦)o. Also speaking of your amazingly wonderful, sweet, and supportive cast I have decided my (though I love them all) favorite poly pairings are Arthur/Morien and whole crew polycule I’d sell my soul for those but I 100% understand why you can’t really do that. I don’t think I have the endurance in me to code a single poly no matter how much I wish it so the fact you’re doing any let alone several is just god tier you are awe inspiring.
Alas I have rambled far far to much I wish I could be more eloquent in expressing just how much I enjoyed experiencing all of this but for now this is the best I can do (╥ω╥). Thank you for sharing your wonderful work it’s truly a gift to experience. ଘ(੭ˊ꒳​ˋ)੭✧ I wish you wealth, health, and all the best in all your creative endeavors. -🐌
No, please please do not apologize. You made my entire week <3 This ask is straight up going into the folder where i keep my motivation to write and to be just a little proud of my work, thank you so so much for sending it.
For anyone having the same thoughts about liking or reblogging old posts: please do it. When I see the notifications, get very giddy and pleased, and I hope you are enjoying the food. Liking, and especially reblogging things, even more so if you add tags and reactons, not only fills me with glee but it also reminds me of old asks that I want to reblog again for new followers. So yeah, I love it, please feel free to go on a liking/reblogging spree!
You are so relatable for the maladaptive daydreaming (this game was absolutely born out of my own mental movies), I wish I could speed up the writing and editing for the next update so you can read it while you travel but I'm afraid it's a lost cause (I have been working on things, even now, but I am currently rewriting like half of it and while it is way better it takes sooo much time and energy). Knowing my characters and story are in someone's thoughts it the best kind of reward I need. I will never likely monetise this game, so this is the thing I wish to leave people with, and I hope the characters can be comforting and keep you company <3
You have no idea how much I would love to write the full polycule... maybe one day :,) But don't lose hope for the Arthur/Morien poly yet, as I decided to cancel the Gwyar/Morien poly and now I have a potentially free slot. In any case, awww, please know that this ask made me so happy today and will be in my thoughts as tkh is in yours.
Please have a lovely day and a lovely week and also a very lovely trip! Thank you again so so much!!
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terezipyropescrocs · 11 months
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saw the barbie movie and am finally free to be a Hater on main without being accused of criticizing something without having watched it- anyway here is a non-exhaustive list of my Thoughts
this movie could have been nothing but fun dance numbers :(
i will say.........i like the costumes and barbieland set design. comparatively the way the real world is shot is so drab and visually uninteresting imo which. i don't feel is great given how much time we spend in it and that barbie ends up living there
the fact that barbies are supposedly affected by the people playing with them but they all act like..... That. just how shallow do they think kids imaginations are? why is there only one "weird" barbie???
admittedly i've never been to LA so maybe i'm completely off-base here but am i expected to believe that ken is automatically respected and admired (but not ogled! with no undertones of violence!) just for existing while my man is constantly dressed like he walked straight from a pride parade
on that note there was a lot of queer subtext/references but it was all very... wink wink nudge nudge in a way that honestly felt a little, idk, uncomfortable to me? but nothing overtly inclusive or even that subversive really
like with the construction workers scene i honestly can't tell if this was meant to be a trans positive moment or just a joke about them being dolls but if so it's like. you have these sexist catcallers but they support trans identities...? literally just as incoherent as everything else going on in this movie
why is barbie simply allowed to walk right into a school cafeteria
gloria and her daughter's relationship and the conflict between them was... very ill defined aside from the apparently all consuming and ever present suffocation of Womanhood™ like wtf is with sasha's line about hating women being the one thing everyone agrees on???? it's the kind of pseudo-pithy cynicism-laced quote that i would expect from a bitter 50s housewife or aging hollywood star, not a teenage girl who, idk, overuses buzzwords?
actually come to think of it pretty much all the female relationships in this movie are very surface-level and hinge almost exclusively on their shared gender identity and not much else!
the fact that all of the barbies were brainwashed to the point where they couldn't even remember their own achievements from ken mansplaining the patriarchy to them.......... and the fact that this is """explained""" with a fucked up and insensitive smallpox joke......... i am mad enough to spit tacks actually
pretty much the only thing i could think of during gloria's big feminist speech and subsequent appeals to the brainwashed barbies is that nothing she's saying actually applies to any of the dolls' experiences "You have to be their mommies but not remind them of their mommy." they don't have parents gloria
the use of push by matchbox twenty in the context of the movie sure is a Choice, seeing as the singer based it off a relationship where he was being emotionally abused by his girlfriend but had the lyrics widely misinterpreted as misogynistic.... anyway.
the way that all of the kens (and even allan) resort to violence and all of the barbies defeat them using manipulation and ~feminine wiles~.. thanks i hate it
i did like how the kens seemed to overcome their differences through singing and holding hands. also fellas is it toxic masculinity to want your girlfriend To see the man behind the tan / And fight for me?
confused by ken's "kenough" revelation from talking to barbie because he.... literally just sang all of that? I’m just Ken / And I’m enough / And I’m great at doing stuff / So, hey, check me out / Yeah, I’m just Ken is that all supposed to be just bravado? it's the same message but he needed barbie to articulate it to him for it to sink in. hm.
feel like barbie's motives for wanting to live in the real world could have been explored better because tbh... the pitch wasn't great!
like her arc is genuinely: experience insecurity for the first time ever because someone else was projecting it onto her > get over said insecurity (that till this point she had never struggled with) because that same person made a speech > gynecologist
not that gloria, the woc who all of barbie's issues represent and originated from gets any kind of satisfying resolution of her own other than pitching "everyday barbie"
the fact that barbie gaining an expanded range of emotions, many of which are negative, indicates that she is no longer a barbie and has to live in the real world to be fufilled- even though all of the insecurities barbie gained from entering a world that doesn't value her and not having a specific career, ken already HAD. men are automatically more human by default ig!!!
people saying that whole point of the ending is that barbieland is a mirror to the real world and the kens will only gain equality when women do as if it's not explicitly stated that the kens have LESS power and influence then women under the patriarchy... but that's fine because the barbies are nicer then men in the real world and kens have to earn their rights because we don't want to reward bad behavior and they need to prove their competence first /s
saw some other butches mention this but the fact that sasha dresses increasingly feminine to represent her character growth and overcoming internalized misogyny is an unfortunate trope
there was absolutely nothing that made me go "oh!!!" as a fan of the animated barbie movies + life in the dreamhouse, or someone who has the most basic understanding of barbie lore (they have one version of midge, skipper, and allan, but no chelsea, teresa, nikki, RAQUELLE, etc.?)
"stereotypical barbie" Her Name Is Barbara Millicent Roberts
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yanderes-galore · 1 year
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Yandere platonic kai scenario with a little sibling who he grows protective of after losing Nya (please )
Sure! Idk how long this'll be but takes place a little after Seabound. Sorry this took months :( I tried to do what I could!
Spoilers for Ninjago: Seabound
Lock and Key
Yandere! Kai Scenario
Pairing: Platonic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Overprotective behavior, Isolation, Obsessive behavior, Controlling behavior, Fear of losing loved ones, Platonic sibling relationship, Angst, Manipulation, Restraints.
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You could never look at water the same. No one in the Monastery could after the fight with Wojira. Sadness was deeply rooted within everyone.
You had seen Jay react the strongest to your sister's choice. Everyone dealt with their sadness in their own way. You felt horrible that he was having the worst of it.
You had assumed Kai was dealing with his sadness in his own way. He didn't outright cry over Nya like this others and you. Kai instead took the approach of being... stoic. He became quiet and reserved. He only really opened up to you at times.
You handled your sadness with crying private. Despite this, you had a feeling Nya knew what she was doing. She was protecting her loved ones...
You hoped she was happy in the sea.
Ever since the battle the ninja decided to live at the Monastery as their main base once again. You were no elemental master, you just practiced basic combat skills. A fact Kai was painfully aware of when he looked at you.
Being your older brother, Kai had always felt a need to protect you. He has always been protective of you and Nya. He was the first child in your family, Nya was the second, and you were the third.
Once he lost Nya... Kai's behavior as your brother got progressively worse. He had always been concerned about your safety, yet he laid off as Nya was there to help. Now with Nya gone... you felt Kai had gotten worse somehow.
You barely left the Monastery like the others. No, instead Kai locked the gates and told you to stay put. Instead of respecting you, Kai treated you like a child. You were younger than Nya yet no child.
"It's too dangerous." Is all you'd hear. You felt like how Lloyd felt when he began his training. You hated it.
Arguments about your safety were often shared between you and your older brother. It always ended the same. Kai would win.
Kai would win and get to dictate what you do next.
After the loss of Nya your relationship with Kai began to break down. All Kai seemed to care about was your safety. It was no longer about your happiness. It was no longer about respecting you.
Kai only ever seemed to care about himself instead of you.
He only disguised his selfish behavior as caring for you.
All you did all day now was sit in your room in the Monastery. You were never allowed to leave the gates. You could train... yet you preferred to just sit on your phone and ignore everything around you.
You wanted things back to normal.... You wonder if Nya never left that Kai would still act this way. Was Kai always like this but Nya stopped him?
Thinking of how things were before... you begin to miss Nya more and more.
Nya at least cared for your freedom compared to Kai.
You keep your focus on your phone while sitting in your room. You can't call for help, the other ninja knew why Kai was doing this. Kai probably would retaliate anyway.
You shut off your phone when you hear a knock on your door. A familiar voice calls your name and you sit up. You sigh... knowing exactly who it was.
"That you, Kai?" You call, trying to hide your distaste.
"Yeah. Can you let me in?"
"Yeah..." You huff, walking over and opening the door. Kai stands in front of you and smiles. You give a small yet forced smile before stepping aside.
"I missed you, it's tough being away from you at the Monastery." Kai hums, enveloping you into a hug. You grimace.
"Bet you had fun with Skylor and the others though...." You comment bitterly, trying to pull from his hug. Your brother only holds tighter.
"I'd take you if I could... you know I can't!"
"Don't lie to me!" You pull away finally from his grasp and turn away. "Kai... Nya wouldn't stand for this-"
"Nya isn't here! It's just me now!"
"She wouldn't have allowed you to isolate me!"
"If I don't keep you safe, she'd never forgive me! I'd never forgive myself...."
"She'd forgive you for this?"
"It's my responsibility to protect you!"
"Maybe I don't need it!"
You yell, walking to your door.
"Don't walk away from me!"
"Watch me, master of fire!" You mock.
Kai quickly pulls you side and shuts the door. You feel fear in your heart when you see his eyes. They flare like flames at your behavior.
"Don't you dare talk to your brother like that."
"Why? You were never like this!"
"Things change! PEOPLE change. You have no idea how difficult it is to keep the people safe." Kai snaps at you. You stop when you see him narrow his eyes at you. He didn't look like himself.
Kai's expression softens when he sees your fear. He seems to feel bad for yelling at you and pulls you into his embrace again. You don't struggle.
"I'm sorry... it's just been so rough. I love you, you know that! I just can't bear to see you go. I can't lose another sibling..." Kai sighs, his breath hitching for just a moment. You stay silent and Kai squeezes you softly.
"I love you so much... I promised our parents I'd do anything to protect you." He pulls his face away and looks into your eyes. He looks... crazed. "I meant anything."
"Kai...?"
"Stay still. If you're going to argue with me yet again, I need to step things up. I had a feeling you wouldn't listen to me again."
Kai roughly pushes you against the wall by your bed and clips something to your leg. He doesn't allow you to look down until he clips something else to your bed. He then lets you go with a grin.
When you're able to move, you look down. Iron is clasped around your bed's leg and yours. You feel your breath hitch before looking up at Kai.
"Kai, you can't-"
"Really? What makes you say that?"
"What will the others think! What about Sensei Wu!?"
"They won't do anything about it. If they do, I'll know and work things out. There's nothing to worry about...."
"You chained me to my bed!"
"All to keep you safe. If I didn't, you'd leave and get yourself hurt. Now, as your brother, I've prevented that from happening. You're safe!"
Kai smile and laughs, leaning forward to hold you close to him. He pulls you down onto your bed and doesn't let go. His gaze feels burning.
"You'll always be safe..."
He brushes a stray tear from your cheek.
"Safe here... with me."
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hazyla · 5 months
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Woah woah, okay. So I just finished spirit of justic except for the special episode. Current thoughts from a foggy memory:
realizing this post is super long so it’s under the break, also soj spoilers
Implied that Phoenix and gumshoe correspond on their own when Phoenix mentions something to Edgeworth. When he’s questioned about it he just says something like “I have my sources…” and Edgeworth tells him to inform his source of a paycheck cut.
Even though Athena got a case of her own to do I feel like she didn’t have as strong of a presence and idk man balancing three lawyers kind of a crazy move
I found rayfa oddly charming because of her silly insults
Not utter dogshit but I see why people generally dont like dual Destinies and spirit of justice as much
My mom misses gumshoe
I did not call the queen being powerless like at all
if there’s another ace attorney game I want a dedicated scene about Apollo and Trucy getting told the truth
Hard to pick a favorite case but I think I liked case 2 and turnabout storyteller just bc it was pretty fun. Also can not believe Athena’s case was the super short filler one!
would’ve appreciated more Maya
cannot believe they just added on characters that were never previously mentioned. Oh yeah, there’s a secret fourth group gramarye member. Apollo? He actually has a brother and was left behind by his foster father at about fifteen or so.
Did the archaeologist guy just… steal a bunch of shit from Adrian’s exhibit? He had literally everything. Good god I wonder how he felt about that scroll having gravy on it
on the plane ride back why did Trucy sit (and fall asleep on) Edgeworth instead of idk her father. What did Athena really want to sit there or something. It’s very cute but also why
Actually Maya and Edgeworth should’ve sat next to eachother on the plane so they can debate about plumed punisher. “You gave away your one of a kind steal samurai themed watch FOR A RIPOFF KEYCHAIN” and then he throws her off the plane (personally, of the belief he would throttle ms inmee [not actually])
about that, it’s so funny to me that he ranted about the show to Datz, a guy he just met and is a revolutionary
Need to mention that Edgeworth’s cravat gets attacked by a dog, I don’t even have a comment I just need to iterate that fact
The breakdown scenes were fun and dynamic but idk I didn’t care for them that much
kind of thought they were gonna channel Apollo’s dad Jove fucking justice
It was funnier when I, for a split second, assumed that since nobody knew the name of his father that Apollo chose his last name to be Justice.
just now realizing that Apollo who shares a namesake with the god of music has two musician parents now
I am so happy that the 3d sprites look better than in dual destinies I don’t know if I could take it if they looked like that again
My mom’s favorite character design is Rayfa’s (but her favorite character is Susato who has nothing to do with soj)
Maya should get an “I survived TWO kidnapping” shirt because everyone wants leverage over Phoenix.
From what I saw online before playing the game I thought nahyuta would be super insanely awful, and then they introduce him as a level headed guy. Then I think oh he seems okay, and then he tells Apollo to go to the depths of hell and that he’ll be reincarnated as a piece of shit
When investigating phoenix tells Edgeworth that he think’s he’d like a gaudy house, to which Edgeworth is offended. And then Phoenix makes fun of him for his bright red sports car in his mind.
Would’ve loved a reference to some older characters, like Iris who is just like never brought up again. Anyways, what’s with spirit channeling families and being super fucked up
i am so sorry to say that Apollo looked like really good in that one cg with his hair antenna down (the one where he almost drowned) (not my best moment)
How in the world did Apollo survive as a teenager? If dhurke left him 10 or so years before this he’d be about fifteen? Did he just get dropped off at a boarding school, who the hell took care of him and how did he become a lawyer.
Why didn’t Amara just resume the throne herself? Idk if I totally missed something but isn’t she still a rightful heir
Khura’in spent EIGHT HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS ON A LIE. THEY WERE DONATIONS. AND FIVE YEARS OF LABOR (Amara’s tomb)
So funny to me that nahyuta drags Ema around everywhere like a little ragdoll back and forth country to country
The pun names in this one were wild 🤪 (suggested emoji)
oh god what if Edgeworth and rayfa were to talk about plumed punisher
Yeah we’re back to this, edgey’s sitting in a rebel hideout with lizards hanging from the ceiling and he watches the plumed punisher??? I kinda forgot the timeline but either Maya is currently kidnapped or dhurke’s in jail “oh okay I’ll stay behind” “let’s turn on the tv” “what the fucj is this”
One time phoenix’s phone went off and I jumped out of my seat because I also have the steal samurai theme as my damn ringtone
I get that it’s just fun sprite stuff but where does nahyuta get all his necklaces? How does his floating ribbon work?
In aa4 with my vague recollection, there’s a scene that kind of made me assume Ace attorney definitely took place in some weird fantasy land that coexisted with real world. (It was something that had to do with the founding fathers? And apollo “yes I know what America is” justice, like they currently don’t live there. It was some exchange during the case where klavier’s guitar blows up). Guess how surprised I was when oh golly now they’re full blown Americans!
since I mentioned aa4 and I already got off track everytime my mom hears that song (which Apollo made his ringtone) she complains about it and gets bad flashbacks. She told me everytime she hears a piano arrangement she thinks about the case. Maybe it wore off by now but it was her version of blue badger
Uendo was my favorite witness
Yeah I don’t think I have anything else to say, what a nice note to it on.
Nope I remembered something, queen ga’ran made me want to use the royal we.
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66sharkteeth · 1 year
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Hello! Idk if you are still faking asks but of so thank you in advance if this gets answered!
I'm not gonna lie, it's a bit disturbing how the majority is cheering on Rex and the side he's taken. Though that side might have some points, I just can not see them as people I'd like to ever support or think they are doing it with good intentions in mind. But anyway, I apologize if I just can't understand or root for this gang. I know things aren't black or white but i just see more bad than good. And I hope that's ok.
The only think I dint understand and kind of made me not like Rex so much anymore is that when he is fighting Desmond he mentions something along the lines of "you already met my scyon" and that just raised more questions for me. One of the mane reasons Rex felt hurt and betrayed and thought it was all Desmon and Lys's fault for "betraying him" was because he couldn't under why they would turn on him (it was when he still didn't know about the other part of himself). But now he knows, he knows its the Scyon that hurt and attacked them. Hence why they had such a reaction. I've seen people stating that yes, Rex was betrayed! And I just...I don't see it at all especially when the og gang had every right to react the way they did.
This monnet kind of just made me distance myself from Rex I guess. Because he knew the scyon was the one to hurt the gang, the reason why they reacted the way they did and yet that does nothing for him. I don't think this is bad writing, nit even the slightest. Cause I know some people in real life would have such a reaction. We are flawed beings and some weren't thought or leaned how act to know their actions or way of thinking is flawed etc or self centered. It's a process everyone can go threw in different ways. So I hope maybe Rex one day can learn more as he goes.
But yeah, was there something behind the scenes we didn't see for Rex to not even question that the Scyon hurt Desmond or for him to not even care about that fact?
I still love the comic a lot and its one of 2 other webtoons I follow religiously and have given money for passes! The art and world building I feel like is really good and has made me so inspired to make a fan art and fic for this world (I'm just too afraid and shy to share I guess but I'd love to one day!).
I hope you have a good day and I apologize for any speaking or grammar mistakes I've made. English isn't my first language and I'm also dyslexic 😅
Tbh, I think the only people who are 100% wrong are the ones who think one side is 100% right.
Like you said, the situation isn't black and white (heck, it's even one of the major themes of the story), and both sides have points and flaws, some bigger than others. I know people are having fun cheering for Rex's "corruption arc" (I even love to tease about it), but that's exactly what it is- a corruption arc.
Rex has points and fair criticism, but it's important to also remember the environment he's in. He's Blan Corp's prized pig that they need to keep happy until they get that memory. Other than Bag Girl, Rex is basically surrounded in an echo chamber of yes-men. So no, you didn't really miss anything. Rex is just currently in an environment where everyone is telling him "Yeah! It WAS abusive of Desmond to make you do all those chores!! What a jerk! >:(" and Rex going "yeah, you're right!! I am the victim here! Tell me more."
He's with the villains now and there is a lot of manipulation* going on.(*Side note: Mostly from Jericho and his Scion, to be clear. You could argue Nia as well, but I kind of maintain that she is just as manipulated and in a kind of equally tough position. Remember, Blan Corp is the ticket to getting her mom back and she's kind of in just as big of an echo chamber of "human bad, blank superior" as Rex)
That said, please don't give up hope on him haha. Rex can get a really sharp tongue when he's pissed (as seen in the latest episode with his encounter with Lyss), but he's still the same Rex at heart. He could never take the steps that Jericho is willing to take, and I... Tried to make that clear in ep 133 with Desmond's criticism of Rex's changes. Desmond asked if he really has it in his (half-human) heart to follow in Jericho's foot steps, and I like to think (most of us) know he doesn't- At least not as far as Jericho. Desmond planted the seed of doubt in ep 133 and I don't intend to just...ignore that seed in my writing of what's coming up.
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TLDR: Yeah! Rex is being a jerk right now after a lot of manipulation, gaslighting, and just all around anxiety. But that's what a corruption arc is. Only time will tell if he starts to realize what a jerk he's being, but I certainly didn't show him hesitating after what Desmond said because it went in one ear and out the other. That's definitely going to be living rent free in the back of his mind for now.
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drivestraight · 2 months
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Omg hi so I read your newest fic which was so good, I’m a very casual Landoscar enjoyer but I like how your portray them, specially after Hungary!
I also read anatomy of a joke for the first time and omg it was so good, one of those fics that you read and you know what’s going on is a train wreck but you are oddly enjoying it even though you shouldn’t
This max had so many layers I was desperately craving to peal back, especially every time the fact that he had a gf was brought up, I would kill to know if Kelly really gave the thumbs up for all that mess. He is also very funny in here like damn I respect you for somehow always win despite everyone else losing their minds around you.
Lando…everytime he appeared I felt like I was that friend that he never listened to when they told him his man ain’t shit, probably what oscar was at some level lol. I like the vagueness around what are his true feelings regarding oscar and max, at some points I was convinced he was actually in love with max and at other I doubted everything.
Prayers for oscar, i was yelling at my screen for him to dip out of that mess and save himself, I wonder what happened after the last scene with max
Anyways I like your writing and I will be reading the rest of your fics! Also I kept wondering about why the title was “anatomy of a joke” and after thinking about it I think I got it lol
thank you so much! i obviously don't write landoscar that much dsjf;lkdfjsa and it's more of a new thing i'm doing on a whim so i'm happy you like how i write them!
and YEAH haha with anatomy of a joke i knew that there was no way i could introduce people to it fairly... you just have to jump right in... and it takes you places... i remember finally reaching austria and it was like. hehe. This is where it goes off the rails. it was supposed to be so much lighter but then it just progressed the way it did, and i liked how it was turning out, so then i just went with it! happy it turned out well :)
and yeah like. one thing i was trying Not to do was overexplain anything or belabor the point. keep things a little unsaid and let people intuit what they wanted/read between the lines and interpret it the way they wanted, but also leaving enough space/intrigue that you felt compelled enough to like, think about it. what it means, etc.
the girlfriend mentions were important... is it really purely casual on max's side? no feelings just friendship handjobs etc etc. but there is the weird possessiveness and needing to take up every space he shares with oscar/remind him that lando is his, etc. but yeah god he really was just. reading the room but also ignoring all of the signs and being like. So you want a threesome tonight. at every change he got 😭😭 love this guy
and exactly with lando... does he like max? eh. idk. it means something to him, though. waves hand vaguely weird intimacy issues. we gotta keep it semiotic. all the signs are there but if it's in a language you can't decipher, you're just left staring at it wondering what it all means, re: what oscar was going through the whole time, while also trying to tell himself he didn't care/give off the air that he didn't care, when he's had a flame for lando for like 6 years. fun little topsy turvy moment to me to write, that flashback.
and after that last scene with max he went back to his hotel room and Wallowed. I think. maybe. <3
it's called anatomy of a joke because... well... oscar's the joke...
if i do end up writing lando pov, the "joke" will become clearer. idk if i will, even though it's pretty planned out rn, but on the off chance that i do end up writing it, i'll keep lando's side of things a secret... get back to me in like a month on this...
anywayyyyy thank you thank you! i always love to get little messages like these - ik i don't reply to ao3 comments really, because it gets rly overwhelming at times, but i always read everything people comment/send me on tumblr about my fics, and i really appreciate it all! keeps me feeling encouraged to write more. tytyty
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my-lunaberg · 2 years
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I got sick and didnt feel like watching dsmp so I just watched a bunch of random movies I found on my german piracy site of choice for almost a week but now Im better and Im about to watch Eryns origin story and idk man, I just felt like sharing my thoughts about that guy so far
First of all, Im so curious about this concept of any dsmp character having an origin story bc its like. their origin story is that they showed up. thats it. Like yeah, a lot of people very obviously have histories going back to before they showed up on the smp but theyre never really elaborated upon. Niki and Wilbur would kill for eachother with no hesitation, no explaination needed, stuff like that
Also, Im curious about some of the demon lore we'll potentially get bc like, demons arent a thing in minecraft the way slimes or endermen are but Eryn said he is one and also actually confirmed that BBH is one as well (I think he did anyway, I know its been popular fanon for a while but I dont remember it being brought up in canon before he said it), so Im curious how theyre gonna be integrated. My prediction is that theyre basically just gonna be like, the nether-equivalent of humans. Like, in the overworld the humans (or player characters ig) are the only sapient creatures and in the nether its demons.
But thats general lore stuff, now I wanna talk about my guy Eryn !!!! :D
I like him so much and idek why. Hes just a fun guy a fun lil guy I love him :D
I guess the best way to describe it would be like, Im very charmed by him. I love that hes like, this edgy-lookin ninja guy who likes to cause trouble, hes really the chaotic teenage boy this server has been missing ever since every other teenage boy has either been horrifically traumatized or is Purpled. I also like that, despite him being this chaotic teen boy who does what he wants, he seems to very sincerely admire Eret and listens to them for some reason ?? I say 'for some reason' because Eret has kinda been old news for a long time, like the fact that theyre a king doesnt mean anything because actual governments just kinda stopped mattering to everyone except for Wilbur and Quackity, but that honestly just makes it more charming. Eryn and Erets entire dynamic is just so good idk why, but its so comfy and chill in a way where you can tell theyre still just aquaintances but its still so nice yknow. This kinda ties into my previous point as well, I really like how he put a shit ton of effort into getting good knight armor and honestly really wants to be a knight while also demonstrating that hes willing and able to like, steal shit from the prison
Another thing that I find really interesting is his complete and utter lack of connection or interaction with Dream. Like, he arrived after Dream had long been in prison and while he left an undeniable impact on literally everything in the server, no one really. talked about it? Eryn seemingly had to go out of his way to get any kind of information because when Dream was still locked up everyone was all like "welp, the big badscary villain man is gone, and we're all safe so we dont have to worry about him anymore and we'd rather not talk or think about him lest we spoil everyones good mood" and then when he escaped they were all like "oh no, we're already feeling so anxious and bad bc we dont know where he is so we'd rather not talk about him lest we make everyone feel even worse when everything is already so terrible". His mindset is that Dream hasnt harmed him personally and hes never really interacted with him so he doesnt really have an opinion on him, which is very interesting as well. On one hand, it seems a bit naive to think that way when literally everyone keeps telling him how horrible that guy is, but also, while none of the conflicts on the dream smp have ever been caused by mob mentality, they have certainly been exercabated by it, so i guess its better to have less of it
I do have mixed feelings about that though. I feel like I'd need to see Eryn interact with Dream in order to really form an opinion on that and I feel like they might actually do that. Like, Eryn is Tommys friend and I think if Dream somehow found out that he doesnt have any negative feelings towards him on the basis of "he hasnt harmed me personally", he would definitely try to exploit that and I think that could be really interesting. If that doesnt happen in canon I might write an AU about it, probably not straight up villain!Eryn but maybe leaning more towards chaotic neutral idk
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phantom-miria · 2 years
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Omg, yes i agree with everthing you said! I really don't necessary think that most people hate on f!robin just because they're misogynistic, they're most likely just other queer people that are feeling "vindacted" that IS finally acknowledging m!chrobin (and like, I get it! IS has a horrible track when it comes to mlm rep, the fact that m!chrobin isn't a thing in canon and the way they handled the queer male options in 3H is super annoying so I do sympathise with them a lot!) I just wish they wouldn't discount their hatred on her? IS bullshit and homophobia is not her fault?
And yeah, we have this amazing high fantasy world full of dragons, magic and trime travel but queer people having a child is where people draw the line? And why do they feel the need to go on posts of people having fun to remind them that "it's not canon"? I swear that those people love to do that with queer ships, is so annoying. I had this terrible experience recently with some f!chrobin shippers and idk I just felt like they were disgusted at the ideia of Chrom being bi from the way they talked, I hated so much.
Anyway, I'm really sorry for the rant and for reminding you of all the fandom bullshit that you were trying to ignore. I'm just so tired of all of this and I feel like no matter what I say about this anywhere else, I will get called of something bad. You felt like a person that would understand where i was coming from and you did, thank you for your time and understanding! Have a good day/night.
I definitely agree - I see how we got here, and I have sympathy, but a lot of it dries up the longer I'm in fandom and I get worn down by people swerving all over the place to take it out on F!Robin or people who did enjoy what we got in canon, I think. And there's also been a weird narrative about her being favored, which I think is extremely untrue if you look at the history of their inclusion in Smash and the trailer, then the amiibo, then the Fates cameo, then Warriors, etc etc. He always gets the lion's share in crossover content and it's really fucking depressing to people who like her!
FEH was the only spot she really had anything "over" him (and even then it was uneven, with him being available at launch with a summoning movie while she was relegated to grail unit added later) and now after an admittedly big wait his legendary here, with a bunch of shippy hints and getting to be himself in his legendary, plus he got the duo I'd give my eyeteeth to have her in, etc. I really think he was always doing fine as far as official rep, and Engage DLC just came along to confirm the same old pattern of "when only one is picked for representing the character in a crossover, it's him". Officially he has historically done well outside of giving nods to shippinness with Chrom, so I think it is both great and understandable that people are so excited about it now. Of course it feels vindicating! But I don't see the reason to sneer at other fans for what they enjoy or their hopes or personal disappointment about a female avatar not being allowed to officially rep the character, lol.
I really can't understand why people see those fans celebrating and decide they have to ruin it. As if those fans aren't already accutely aware of the fact that it isn't canon in the original game. As if that isn't the reason they're so happy in the first place? It is truly such an unwarranted dick move.
I'm really sorry to hear about that recent experience, anon! I love bi Chrom with all my heart - unfortunately I don't talk about it so much because I am an OTPer who's ended up unfathomably annoyed about the male player character, so I only really end up engaging with ship content for him with a female character most of the time, and so functionally the fact that I headcanon him bi ends up not coming up super often. But I love that idea and am extremely attached to it. There are dozens of us! Dozens!! Especially as a queer woman. It's important to me that they are both bi in my head.
I'm unfortunately not surprised to hear that people reacted with disgust - I remember that from my days in DA fandom :( but it never gets easier. It just makes it feel like there's no real place, because the people who like the version you do suck, but if you don't like the other version as much and those people think you suck for liking the one you do, it's just kind of well...here I am, then. Lol.
No need to apologize, anon, I like talking about this kind of thing! I think I'm just worried that I've been spending too much time doing so recently and my friends are going to be absolutely sick of it, lol. And realistically it is better for me to spend less brainspace on people in fandom being shitty, probably? But I think it's good for you to hear that other people in fandom feel the same way and have problems with a lot of different corners, like you do. I hope you have a good night too! There are people out here who just want to ship and have a good time. It's not all bullshit, even if it feels like it sometimes, or even if you end up focusing on it a lot like me. <3
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Hi I’m gonna be an insufferable prick and explain a bunch of my comic series because uhm. I really like it.
General content warnings: self harm, suicide, drugs, eating disorder, addiction, death, sexual assault, murder, and probably other stuff but those are the specific things I want you to know of.
First off, characters!
Toby: he’s 20, has adhd, homeless, and like. 5’7”? He’s got roughly shoulder length hair and was dating Jesse first and yeah (I’ll get into the polycule stuff later). He does not like going to bars with Jesse because people always treat Jesse like a little kid (and Jesse always pays for him, he feels bad about both things) but he agreed to go to stonewall inn because he’d been hired at a new job that day and Mikey and Jesse wanted to take him out to celebrate. He killed Mikey on accident because he got scared when the fights started breaking out and had a piece of broken glass in his hand as a precaution and Mikey tried to drag him to a back alley so they’d be safe and Toby got scared and shanked him without realizing that it was him. He realized and immediately ran away. (No he didn’t call 911 because fun fact: EMS wasn’t created in the US until 1973 and stonewall happened in 69.)
Jesse: he’s the mc in the comic, he’s 19, has anorexia (if you saw the original drawings yeah I changed it), and had fungal meningitis as a child that resulted in the loss of his right leg, and because any prosthetics that were available at the time were incredibly expensive and he has the balance of a drunken newborn, he’s wheelchair bound (he does always fold his left pant leg because he thinks it’s funny and also it keeps it out of the way). He started dating Mikey first out of him and Toby. He made it to the back alley where Mikey tried to take Toby and ran into Mikey’s body. He was, understandably horrified. While he was still in shock he made his way home (which took roughly an hour and a half) and realized he needed someone to be with him so he went to his friend James’s house and they. Okay so they end up fucking. And it is a pattern that continues. It’s important to the comic plot I promise. But it’s a whole thing and then James eventually goes okay dude this is really bad for you like I think you should actually talk it out yknow and then Jesse just sorta goes oh yeah you’re right and promptly goes home and develops a self harm addiction and he was. Sorta using random bits of metal he found on the ground outside and a guy sees him picking one up and assumes he’s gonna use it to do cocaine and is like yo if you wanna do drugs with other people I’m about to shoot up some heroin if you want some and he just goes yeah sure and yeah anyway he gets aids. And then he finds out and he kills himself via overdose.
Mikey: he’s trans and 18 and he had leukemia and he wanted to be a doctor and yeah I love him he’s my favorite if he lived long enough he would’ve been an EMT but he didn’t because Toby killed him and he doesn’t know it was an accident so he assumed it was a hate crime and he’s understandably pissed about it because he sees it as like fucking hell I was already gonna die young from leukemia but then my fucking boyfriend fucking shanked me and cut me off sooner than I should’ve been. He also narrates the entire comic so any boxes of text are just him talking. He’s like 5’9” and he doesn’t like sex jokes because they embarrass the shit out of him. He’s only actually seen in the last issue of the comic where he’s in the afterlife which is just the back rooms with Jesse and the fight each other and then just end up collapsing in a corner and Mikey starts sobbing because fuck Jesse killed himself and he feels bad that he felt like that and just starts compulsively apologizing and saying he loves him and idk I think that would be the end of the comic. He’s also got a little heterochromia spice because why not
Benji: he’s 23, Italian American, like 5’5”, has hyperosmia, and is a heroin addict (he’s the one that offered to share with Jesse). He’s also married* to Jane and he loves them very much. He started off with smoking cigarettes and it escalated in the order of weed, cocaine, heroin. He started smoking and drinking as a teenager to try to keep his ptsd at bay (he was sexually assaulted by a friend walking home one night), and it’s a combination of the distraction and high that got him addicted (once he started doing coke he stopped drinking because they were both expensive and he didn’t want to spend that much). He has a decent amount of trust issues for obvious reasons, but he would, and on many occasions has, trusted Jane with his life. He was at stonewall celebrating his and Jane’s second wedding anniversary.
Jane: they’re 25, Native American, queer, an alcoholic, and will fuck you up if you hurt someone they’re close to. They’re also 6’1” and have 4 foot long hair. They’re a cashier at the corner store and they know a lot of people because of it. They have a soft spot in their heart for rats because there were so many where they grew up and they kept them as pets. No one knows what sex they were assigned at birth but everyone they’re friends with accepts that this is unimportant. They’re alcoholism didn’t really have a reason to happen, they were just drinking frequently and one day realized it had been almost three months since they were last sober. It took them a while but at the time of the comic they’re two months sober. They are the one that found Jesse’s body.
Lauren: she’s 22, demiromantic, lesbian, Latina, has adhd and auditory processing disorder, and is a smoker. She works at the library with Jesse and they’re besties. Her favorite genre of book is horror because her dad got her into it. Her mother died in childbirth but her father made sure she had everything she needed and as much as he could provide. She’s incredibly close with her father and she makes dinner for them at his house once a week. She dated Cali for a bit before the comic but they broke up roughly two years prior to the start. She is in fact named after her mother because why not. She was not at stonewall initially but she joined in the riots the second day.
Caliope (Cali): she’s 23, asexual, transgender, is dating Alex, and has bipolar disorder. She’s a bartender at the Stonewall Inn and she stayed through all the rioting. She’s decently polite but if you don’t respect her don’t expect her to give you the time of day. She loves her job and her favorite drink to make is an old fashioned but she hates the taste of liquor. She has been known to mix wine and soda occasionally, but mostly drinks the orange juice when she’s working. She’s absolutely the subject of the song Lola by the kinks.
Alexander (Alex): he’s 21, bisexual, transgender and has ocd. He’s in a t4t relationship with Cali. He works at a gas station and actually adores pumping gas for people because he likes the smell. One of his main compulsions is clenching his hands which he developed because of his job. He has motor tics as a comorbidity with his ocd and his neck is in constant pain because of it. The tics piss him off just as much as his compulsions do. He was bringing Cali dinner and got caught up in the riots on the 28. He ended up with a broken arm.
George: 64, autistic, Italian and Irish, has bipolar disorder and chronic pain disorder, owns and runs the corner store. He’s also Adam’s uncle and was his primary caregiver for about 13 years because his wife’s family died in a house fire on Christmas Eve. He was home sick that year so he couldn’t go. He’s a cheery old chap despite the loss, and tried his best to raise Adam right and well. He struggled with alcoholism for a bit before his wife died, but the circumstances of her death made him get his shit together. He feels terrible for the things he did before he got it together and he wishes the people he hurt could understand how sorry he is.
Adam: he’s 47, Hispanic and Italian, gay, has ocd, and helps run the corner store. His mother was George’s sister in law, more specifically his wife’s sister. He has vague memories of his family, but he was 6 when the fire happened. He figured out a cocktail of over the counter drugs that helped to reduce symptoms of his ocd, but the compulsions still come out occasionally, though they’re mostly in the form of obsessing over intrusive thoughts. He’s constantly very worried about hurting people, and the intrusive thoughts do not help at all. He had a pretty good childhood all things considered, but he was mostly isolated by other kids. His favorite part of working at the corner store is restocking because he enjoys the mind numbing quality of the repetitive movements.
James: he’s 20, autistic, aromatic, African American, and Jesse’s best friend ^. He’s decidedly an artist, in a sense that he spends every available waking moment writing, drawing, or baking. He loves poetry and realistic fiction novels, as well as street art and photography. He once spent an entire day working on an amazing drawing just to be horrendously disappointed when he woke up to discover that not only was it a dream, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what he was drawing. He’s a local handyman and enjoys fixing things. He’s a very loving person and he’s been friends with Jesse since they were kids, as they lived next door to each other and were both bullied in school.
And now for the polycule because I feel like it needs it’s own explanation:)
Polycule in general: okay alright so Toby and Jesse started dating in high school then they graduated a bit after and then a couple months later Mikey graduated and he met Jesse at a library and Jesse worked there so they would see each other a lot. So Jesse asks Toby hey would you be cool if I started going out with this guy in addition to going out with you and y’all would be metamors and Toby is like yeah babe that’s chill and so Jesse asks Mikey out and he says yes and they did all the polyamory rigmarole and then dating stuff and then one day Mikey’s like hey I’d really like to meet your boyfriend and Jesse’s like oh alright so they all meet up and Mikey and Toby get along great and they keep hanging out and eventually Mikey and Toby start dating as well so then they’re all three dating and they do cute little three part dates where they draw names for who gets to pick the food who gets to pick a movie and who gets to pick a board game and they love each other so much.
General setting of the comic: Hoboken, NJ, and New York City in late June of 1969, specifically starting on June 28 at around 3:15 am.
*not legally for obvious reasons, but they absolutely consider themselves to be spouses.
^yes yes I did name them after Jesse James
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Pinky Promise
Summary: Fred and Y/N have been rivals for a while, but no matter if it was pranks, or quidditch or something else, they always had their limits to not hurt the other. In fact, for the past few months Y/N and Fred have been growing closer, and even developing feelings for each other, but everything changes when one of Fred's pranks go to far, and he needs to find a way to fix it to save their relationship.
Warnings: Swearing, Fred being kind of a dick, Reader getting angry, confrontation, some angst, kind of a lot of angst actually, ends in major fluff though, also humor because I may not not how to spell but I’m hilarious.
Word count: 2.7K
A/N: comin at cha with ANOTHER ENEMIES TO LOVERS FRED WEALSEY FIC??? Why am I so uncreative? Idk, anyways I hope you enjoy!
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You were beyond furious. You didn’t think there was a strong enough word to describe how angry you were, and you were pretty sure if you were any angrier steam would be coming out of your ears. And the reason for all this anger you may ask?
Fred Fucking Weasley
You stormed through the hallway, heading straight to the dining hall. It was late, and you barely anybody would be in there, but you knew he would be. 
You stopped in the doorway, scanning over the tables until your eyes landed on a familiar mop of red hair. Locking your eyes on your target, you stomped over, clutching your bag tightly in your right hand.
“Oh shit- what did you do this time?” You heard Lee whisper to Fred, as you got closer, but you paid him no mind, eyes locking with Fred’s, who had that same stupid smirk that he always did. It made your blood boil.
“Good evening love, how’s your night going?” Fred asked nonchalantly, as if you were friends and not life long enemies.
“I have to say, it was going quite well, until I found this” You seethed, slamming your bag onto the table in front of him. “Say, does this bag look familiar to you?”
“Nope, can’t say it does” Fred shrugged, but the glimmer in his eye said differently.
“Really? Why don’t you take a closer look” You insisted, grabbing the bag off the table, flipping open the top, and flipping it upside-down, causing an eruption of water to fall from the mouth of the bag.
The water continued for what felt like forever, pieces of paper and pens falling out with it as the contents emptied out onto the floor, soaking yours and Fred’s shoes, but neither of you made a move.
After the water had finally stopped, you threw the bag into his lap, causing him to look down at it, a thoughtful hand on his chin.
“You know, now that I’m looking more closely at it, it does look a bit familiar” He said simply, and judging by the nervous looks on George, and Lee’s face when they saw you, you for sure had steam coming out of your ears now, but you kept your composure.
“Oh, well that’s good. You see, I’m trying to solve a bit of a mystery of who could have done this. Would you have any ideas?” You asked, crossing your arms in front of you.
By now, most of the cafeteria had cleared out. They have seen you and Fred get into heated arguments before. But this was different.
This was going to be fatal.
“No clue, but I have to say whoever thought of it is a bloody genius” He complimented, giving you a grin.
“Genius you say? So you think, flooding my one bag, and ruining all my homework, as well as my ten page essay that I’ve been working on all month, that’s due tomorrow... is Genius?” You asked, the calmness in your voice adding a coldness to the room that shot straight to everyone's bones.
And judging by the now terrified face Fred wore, he was feeling the effects of your voice as well.
“Oh, I see there's been a mix up, I’m actually George-”
“You are fucking not! Don't get me caught up in this” George interrupted, standing along with Lee to flee the scene 
“So sorry about him, Y/N, he can’t be helped. Try not to go to hard on him-” Lee started, but a quick glance his way shut him up instantly “Actually on second thought, do what you see fit, see ya Fred”
With that, George and Lee practically sprinted out of the dining hall, leaving you standing over Fred, who suddenly felt very small.
“I swear, I had no idea your essay was in there, if I had known I wouldn’t have-” Fred started apologizing, but was quickly cut off when your hand slammed down on the table beside you.
“You see Fred” You said, taking a seat on the bench next to him. “I think you did know. We’re in the same class, you’ve seen me working my ass off trying to get this essay done, and you’ve even asked for my notes, which I refused because of this kind of shit you pull” 
Fred swallowed thickly, his heart beating out of his chest at your anger. He had seen you angry before, and he’s been cross with you a few times as well, but those died down fairly quickly, and most of the time there weren't to many hard feelings. And you were right, he had seen you working on that essay, both in class, and at two in the morning in the library.
“Now” You continued “We’ve had out little quarrels in the past, you prank me, I prank you, you hit me with a quaffle at quidditch, I hit one back at you, nothing too serious. But this” She paused, picking a sopping wet pile of papers off the floor, and plopping it in front of him “Is really really fucking low. Did you know, I was already failing this class?”
The question put Fred on the spot, and he felt his heart sink to his stomach. He had always known you to be extremely smart and quick minded, so to hear you weren't doing so well in that class came as a surprise.
“Yeah, I’m failing because, fun fact, I’m fucking exhausted. I’m staying up till three in the morning every night, trying to get caught up in classes. I’m writing back and forward to my family constantly because they’re going through financial problems again, Umbridge is constantly writing me up for no reason, and on top of all of that, I still need to be worried about this” 
Your voice was beginning to shake a bit, and you both knew you were about to cry, but you were determined to keep the tears in until you were done. You didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
“So... Fred, consider this little rival, or fight, or whatever the fuck this is, over. I’m done, you win, just please, for the love of fuck, leave me alone” 
With that, you stood up and left the dining hall, quickly wiping the stay tear that snuck out on your way. All the while, Fred sat in shocked silence. He had always seen your little back and forwards as friendly competition, and had even thought they were a bit flirty at times. In fact, you two had been getting a bit closer these last few months, and had even started hanging out as friends. But now, he had royally fucked that up, and he needed to fix it.
The next day, you were exhausted. You had spent a lot of the night crying, which you hated but all the pent up emotions just came flooding out. Yes, you were absolutely pissed at Fred, but most of all, you were hurt. In the last few months, you’re arguments had died down a bit, and you found yourselves hanging out from time to time, always accidentally, but you enjoyed his company none the less.
You had even begun to like him a bit, maybe even more than a friend. He was nice, and charming, and wicked funny, and always tried to make you smile, but now, after seeing how careless, and almost mean he had been, you knew you needed to shove those feelings down. So you did. 
Your first class was potions, which of course you had with Fred. He sat behind you, and for a while, he made the class bearable, passing notes back and forward. But now you were absolutely dreading it.
Fred was sat in his usual seat, waiting for you to walk in. He had come in early, hoping to get the chance to talk to you, but when you walked in just as class began, he knew he would need to try a different approach.
Not even five minutes into the class, you felt a piece of paper land beside your elbow on your desk. You looked down, finding a folded up piece of paper, which you immediately knew was Fred's.
You could feel his eyes burning holes in the back of your head, but instead of turning around, you simply flicked the paper off your desk, returning your gaze to the chalkboard. A few minutes later, another piece of paper, this time on top of your notebook. Again, you flicked it off. 
Finally, five pieces of paper later, you smacked your quill down and picked up the newest piece of paper from your desk, unfolding it and looking it over, Fred watching you closely as you did
Can we please talk? I’m sorry
You finally turned around to meet the boys gaze, his eyes instantly lighting up at the change, but his spirits quickly fell when he saw your face, not angry, or frustrated, but sad.
You had had enough, facing the boy, you placed the paper back onto his own desk right as the professor dismissed the class, quickly slipping out of the room before Fred could follow you.
You avoided him like the plague the rest of the day. You didn’t have many other classes with him, and the ones you did share you made sure to find an empty seat far away from him, you even skipped lunch, choosing instead to read in your next class. 
You even skipped the class where your essay was due, not wanting to show up and hand over nothing, you decided to spend the rest of the day alone, and try to redo your assignment, even if you now only had a day to do it.
Fred only saw you again after class by the forbidden forest. He had found you pretty easily, you weren’t in any of your usual spots, so he knew this would be the next best spot to check. As he approached you, he found you had changed out of your uniform and were now in some joggers and a sweatshirt, sitting with your back against a rock as you scribbled in the notebook in front of you.
You chewed your lip as you tried to rewrite your essay, looking to your textbook and back every few second, before messing up on a word. Frustrated, you scribbled out the paragraph you had been working on and threw your notebook and quill to the side, resting your elbows on your knees as you held your head in your hands.
You quickly snapped out of it though when someone behind you cleared their throat, getting your attention and making you jump out of your skin. Panic surged through you, expecting a teacher, or worse, Umbridge, but the fear was soon replaced by irritation when you made eye contact with none other than the very red head you had spent all day trying to avoid.
“What do you want Fred?” You asked, turning back to face the forbidden forest, away from him. 
He didn’t answer, instead you were met with the sound of grass shuffling beneath his feet as he got closer, taking a seat before holding something out to you, causing you to look over at him.
It was your bag from yesterday, but now completely fixed and dry. It looked like brand new. 
You took the bag from him and looked it over, going over the seams and the straps before finally opening it, finding your notebooks, pens, and homework assignments all neatly tucked inside.
“How did you- When did-” you rambled trying to find the words and you shuffled through your belongings, finding them all intact and dry before finally turning to look at him “Why did you do this for me?”
Fred wasn’t expecting that question, but he still answered, looking down at the grass.
“I felt really bad after yesterday, and not just because of that stuff you... anyway, I know I went too far, and I shouldn't have done it in the first place, but I wanted to have a reason to talk to you I guess, and I did it in the worst way possible, and I wanted to make it up to you. I’m sorry”
You looked at him, before turning back to the bag, noticing there was something missing, but before you could say anything Fred continued.
“I was also able to save your essay, it took a while but it was all there. I was going to give it to you in class, but you didn’t show up so I turned it in for you and said you were sick. I got to read some of it by the way, its really good and I would be surprised if you-”
Fred was cut off by you moving your bag to the side and turning to face him, wrapping your arms around him to pull him into a hug. 
Fred was too shocked to move for a second, but quickly found himself returning the embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugging you closer. You sat like that for a minute, your face buried in his neck as a thousand emotions flooded over you. Finally, you pulled away, looking him in the eye.
“I’m not saying I’m not entirely grateful” you started “But you could have just come and talked to me, why did you feel you needed to do that to talk to me?”
At this, Fred’s face began to heat up a bit and he looked back down, fiddling with the grass. He was hoping to fix your friendship and move on, maybe one day growing to be something more, but now he was faced with the choice to tell you his feelings, or lie, and he didn’t want to deny it anymore.
“We’ve always had our little competitions and stuff, ever since we were kids, and for a while we really hated each other. But then, these last few months I got to know you a lot more, and I always knew you were funny, but you’ve got a wicked sense of humor, and you’re super smart, and are always helping people, and you’re always kind to everyone you meet, and I thought I might have had a crush or something. And I didn’t really know how to interact with you in a not competition way, and I didn’t want to freak you out, but after the bag, seeing how it hurt you, it broke me. And I realized that I liked you a lot more than I thought I did”
Fred looked up at you, waiting for your reaction. Were you angry, upset, happy? Your face wasn’t giving him any signs, but then, a small smile crept to your lips, and despite how hard you tried to fight it.
You laughed.
“I’m sorry” You started, trying to fight the laughter bubbling in your chest “I’m not laughing at you, I’m not, it’s just-” Another laugh. “God were just a bunch of idiots aren't we?”
Fred was looking at you like you’d gone crazy
“What do you mean?”
“I like you too dumb ass” You confessed.
“You... oh... Oh!” Fred exclaimed, finally putting the pieces together. “Wow, I really fucked up didn’t I”
“Oh for sure” you nodded, causing Fred to let out a groan, shaking his head before looking back to you, a smile on his face.
Without thinking, you leaned forward, closing the rest of the space between you and pressing your lips to his. Fred returned the action, bringing a hand to the back of your neck to pull you in closer, deepening the kiss.
After a few seconds, you both pulled away, each with goofy smiles on your faces.
“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” Fred asked.
“Only if you promise to never do it again” you said
“Deal” Fred answered quickly, holding out his pinky to you, which you wrapped your own pinky around, shaking on the agreement.
“Wow a pinky promise, that's some hard core shit” You joked in a serious tone.
“Hey, if it means I get to spend more time with you, I’d pinky promise to anything” Fred replied, to which you gave him a feigned shocked expression.
“Anything?! Aww, you like me like me” you teased, laughing as Fred playfully pushed your shoulder.
“Shut up you like me like me too” Fred argued
“That is true” you nodded, before smiling and grabbing the front of his shirt, pulling him into another kiss, smiling as he pulled you even closer.
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A/N: Heeey, so I was hit with the biggest surge of motivation today and I literally got two weeks of homework done, deep clean my room, and wrote this, so if I go dark for a few months its probably because I’ve used my adrenaline budget for the year lol.
But seriously, I know this fic gets a bit... deep ig? Idk, I’ve been going through it recently and I wanted some angst that would actually reflect how I would react in that situation if you know what I mean? Like I see a long of angsts where the love interest does something really mean, but a simple apology solves everything and yeah. No hate if that’s your writing style, its just not my thing, and I wanted to express my emotions through here, because nobody directly fucked up an entire month of my work but it certainly feels that way sometimes.
Anyways, rant over, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave any feedback or recommendations you may have.
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blxetsi · 3 years
Note
HIIIII!! can i get a pieck finger dating headcanons if that’s alright with you of course? your stuff makes me soft, stay safe!
yuh ‼️ tysm for your request
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pieck finger dating headcanons (modern au)
pieck finger x gn!reader
warnings: literal fluff, no angst or anything i love pieck
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- bc pieck is assumed to be like 23-26 this wont be a uni au or anything
- idk i rlly think you guys wouldve met in a mundane way
- like you bump into her on the sidewalk and try to the really awkward "oh im so sorry i didnt see you there- no really it was my fault- are you sure youre okay ?- okay great- no im not hurt- yeah- okay have a good day and again im so sorry !!" thing with her
- and then maybe you guys see each other again at a coffee place, youre there with your friends and shes there with hers, and you dont wanna talk to her obv bc that would be awkward
- then ur friend makes u go and order another coffee for them, and while youre waiting for your order pieck comes and stands beside you
- and shes very observant yknow ?? if she sees a face its very hard for her to forget it
- so she immediately recognizes you and blurts out "its you !"
- and you have to be like "oh yeah ! it is me ! its you too"
- she finds it quite cute and giggles about it
- a very laidback person but also a very blunt person
- she doesnt find any harm in asking "can i get your instagram @" look she doesnt wanna be a creep and ask for ur number right at the start
- and it gives her a chance to find out what kind of person you are
- it would absolutely suck for her if such a cute face was posting fishing pictures and alt right propaganda yknow ??
- so you two do and then both of your orders come so you two give awkward goodbyes before going back to your groups
- her instagram is very pretty, nice themes
- she posted a couple of hours ago, with her and her friends in a park, taking a couple of posed photos while some looking like they were natural
- shes adorable and you cant help but feel your cheeks go warm as you basically stalk her page
- she dms you and says "are you too busy looking at my feed that you havent followed me yet ?" and you see this mf staring at you across the room like 👁️👁️
- okay nosy lets calm down now 🙄🤚
- you try to defend urself but ur typing so quick you keep making errors in your writing, she ends up saying something else
"you know, i was doing the exact same thing. youre beautiful you know"
- thank you pieck 🥰
- over the next couple of weeks thats how you two communicate. she'll send you instagram memes and edits of her favourite shows, movies, games etc. and you find yourself having a lot in common w her
- you check her story so frequently it becomes one of the first accounts on the top of your homepage
- and FINALLY, when she feels she can see you as a friend and not just some pretty stranger she met on the street she asks you out
- it was a simple thing, just to the movies, and she even let you pick which one !! (imagine its pre covid idfk)
- you two go and its an awkward hug before you both head inside
- you pay for your tickets and she gets an extra large popcorn and a drink
- you assume shes just v hungry but before you can order yourself something shes like "what are you doing i got this for us !!"
- rlly cute bitch omfg
- during the movies, after she eats literally most of the fucking popcorn, she pulls your hand out of your lap and holds it with her buttery one 🥰🤚
- this bitch had crumbs and didnt even think to wipe them off
- you still held her hand tho anyways
- after that night you parted ways in front of the theater after making sure you two would be getting home safe
- and that became routine for a couple of weeks, not going to the movies obviously bc thats expensive but watching movies together !! youd go over to her apartment or she would come over to yours
- one thing about pieck is that shes very touchy
- one way or another she will end up cuddled with you on the couch
- it doesnt matter if its you being forcefully pulled on top of her body or her draping herself over you like shes a blanket, you two WILL be cuddling and you WILL enjoy it
- but finally, as if the gods gave you mercy, she finally kissed you
- it felt so nice, her lips were soft and sticky from her lip gloss and she tasted like the swedish berries you had gotten for her to munch on
- and the rest of the movie you two just sat there, kissing each other and giggling like teens
- she ended up staying the night, and complimented your bedsheets
- your relationship moved pretty fast after that
- she had already told all of her friends about you, they werent very surprised
- when you got officially introduced her friends zeke and porco tried to do that whole "if you hurt her.." speech before she slapped them and had marcel pull you away to safety
- other than that the night was very fun, you got to talking about your career, why you moved to the city, and other mundane topics
- pieck is actually a graphic designer, and everytime she comes to sleep over she just HAS to bring her laptop with her
- its basically just her laying in between your legs while she types away, youll pet her hair and lay soft kisses on her neck, and occasionally ask what shes doing
- she likes to tell you, has no problem in answering the questions you have, even if you think theyre stupid ones, shes very soft with you
- also a bit of a trickster
- for your first april fools together she slept over, you didnt have anything planned for her bc youre a good person and wont hurt the ones you love
- she stuffed your breakfast muffin with mustard 😁👍
- you gave her the cold shoulder for the rest of the day until she apologized by getting you a new muffin
- now she always dropped the l bomb to you, but she never needed you to say it
- thats why, when you were helping her cook dinner at her place you softly said "see ? and thats why i love you" she kind of,,, stopped what she was doing
- you realized why she wasnt washing the knife she used to cut your vegetables and tried to backtrack, but it was too late, she was already tackling you into a hug and taking you down onto the floor
- she just gave you kisses while repeating "i love you i love you i love you" over and over again
- bc of her you burnt ur fucking chicken smh
- you spent that night eating junk food and watching movies
- piecks a very observant person, so she always knows when youre sad too
- when you give that little huff when you come home to your (new !) shared apartment she knows something is up
- she'll slowly trail behind you as you walk to your bedroom, stripping to your underwear and changing into your pajamas
- you crawl into bed just wanting a nap to forget about the day, and she'll crawl in with you and hold you
- you never like to cry but youre so frustrated and upset at your coworkers, at that rude customer, at those deadlines, that you just breakdown
- and she lets you, she lets you almost suffocate yourself in her chest with how much your pushing your head into it, she strokes your hair while you choke on your own cries and hands you tissues when you need to blow your nose
- "what do you need my love ?" "i just need you" "okay baby"
- communication is a big thing in the relationship, and because shes been so open and honest from the beginning, talking about how you feel has never been easier
- in fact, you like talking about how you feel about your relationship, or how you didnt like what pieck said to your friends the other day, this and that, you feel comfortable and safe with pieck no matter what, which makes talking about even the most hardest things seem so simple and natural
- all in all, even when she wakes you up with spontaneous ice cream dates or asks that you put raisins in the popcorn during movie night, even with the fights and the crying and the exhaustion the next day, life would be much duller without her, and you only have to thank your clumsy self
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uhh i feel like this is very short but yeah ❤️ requests are open so go crazy mfs ‼️
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darthwheezely · 4 years
Text
grande - g.w.
Summary: George meets a mighty adorable barista in the new cafe on Diagon Alley and the man just can’t help himself... based off the song Coffee Girl by Johnny Socko! Sorry this took me absolute ages (9 days oops) to get out, guys :/
Warnings: DIABETIC FLUFF STUPID AMOUNTS OF CARDIAC ARREST INDUCING FLUFF UWU,mentions of sexism, Fred being Fred, cussing probably, alludes to sex, PG/PG-13
taglist or people that might like this but idk: @theweasleyslut @kitwalker02 @loony-loopy-lupinn @wand3ringr0s3 @gcdric @thehufflepuffwife @monoscandal @lupinsclassroom @whiz-bangs78 @vogueweasley @rogueweasleys @band--psycho @lumosandnoxwriting @oh-for-merlins-sake @amxrtentias @virgohufflepuff @vivianweasley
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George Weasley didn’t sleep. This had long been the habit of his ever since he and his parents had discovered that his elder twin Fred had been an avid sleepwalker by age 4, then became a (minor) party animal in his Hogwarts days, and finally when he became the co-owner of one of the Wizard World’s most successful entrepreneurs and business owners.
The man hadn’t slept in about 18 years give or take. And days like this reminded him of it constantly.
It was a Saturday, the first of the month, and to boot, it was about to be Christmas in a little over a week. Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was packed with everyone from couples window shopping, children in desperate need of fun now that school was out, parents trying to keep them in line, and even some old lady named Ethel (who swore she was part Veela, and therefore Fred couldn’t “escape her girlish charm.”)
“Ethel, you have an absolutely ravishing day, and don’t even worry about that moisturizer it’d be a waste of product on a natural beauty like you” Fred winked and kissed the old lady’s hand, George watching from the top of the steps rolling his eyes.
“Oh, Freddie, you know how to keep a lady young, don’t you? Oh - goodbye, Georgie! Have a good rest of your day boys!” She waved majestically to the younger twin on the stairs and he bowed royally in response.
“Bye, Ethel!” They both called as she exited the building, the bells flurrying in her wake.
“Georgie, mate, hate to say it but you are being uncharacteristically quiet and it’s making me uncharacteristically uncomfortable.” Fred said bounding up the stairs to meet him, chuckling briefly.
“Freddie, mate, hate to say it but I’ve had absolutely no sleep as of late and it’s getting to me. But I’ll be back up to my usual antics in no time.” He padded down the stairs, winking at a couple young ladies ogling him, sending them into a fit of giggles. Fred sat down on the middle step eyeing his brother carefully. It didn’t take a genius to see George wasn’t holding on much longer, the dark circles littering his eyes and the way he mussed up his already purposely messy hair just...didn’t comfort his older twin at all.
“George.” Fred sighed, George looking back at him, confused. He took his hands away from the merchandise Wonder Witch he’d been rearranging and gave him full attention.
“Take your lunch break early. And longer if possible.”
“Pffft, why would I do that when I have women to woo and boxes to juggle?”
“George.”
“Fred.”
“Stop, I mean it. You look half dead as it is, just go take a nap or get an espresso from the cafe down the aisle or something that reinforces the idea that yes, you are a human being and no, not a zombie.” Fred crossed his arms feeling suddenly a lot like Molly and dropped the cross. George pretended to ponder this tapping his chin, rather finding the mature brother role reversal funny as hell.
“Oh, alright, but can I still be a zombie when I get back?”
Fred hit him with a folder and sent him on his way.
-•-•-
You had just finished the lunch rush, finally being able to calm down and not have to worry about making one more goddamn Butterbeer Latte for at least another 20 or so minutes...until there’d be another rush. You grabbed a lemon scone, took off your apron and sat against the back counter. You inhaled the citrus scent, it was always something that you loved to savor, and took a bite.
The holidays for the Merlin’s Mochas, the cafe, had been absolutely atrocious so far. All you had for customers were angry businessmen, bratty kids and their upper class parents who let them run around the already small place being rude to everyone, your boss Lionel who had an affinity for calling every woman who worked there a “bitch” (...ok lionel) and to top it all off: you’d been pulling 9 hour days every day except sundays. Needless to say: you kind of super hated your job.
You had just finished your scone when you heard the door chime signal a customer, immediately wiping your hands on your jeans and restrapping your apron.
“Hi how can I-“ oh Jesus this is the hottest man I have ever seen. He was easily no older than 23, fiery red hair, a perfectly tailored striped terracotta suit, green tie, and the most gorgeous doe brown eyes you’d ever seen.
“How can you...?”
“Help you, ohmygod, I am so sorry I’m super-“
“Tired? Yeah me too...interesting how similar we are this early in the game hmm?” He winked at you and your knees felt too weak. No he was just a stupid hot customer that also was really hot and also? Was super hot. No worries, Y/N, just don’t die by 22 okay thanks.
“Very funny...wait are you-“ your finger led from him to the statue outside Wizard Wheezes, realizing a simple oh shit
“Yeah, that would be me. Or my twin Fred but we never really decided, that’s why he kind of looks like both of us mixed. Although we’re twins so we basically look the same anyway. I mean because were identical. Twins, yeah.” George, what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you sweating? She’s just a simply beautiful girl in a simply maddeningly purple coffee shop can you please breathe and not make yourself look stupid-
“Oh, wow! I’ve never met a twin before - not like twins are anomalies or anything it’s just so crazy. Science. Science is crazy” You closed your eyes and took a breath
“We should probably start over shouldn’t we?” You wrinkled your nose.
“That sounds much more redeeming than anything we both were about to say” George breathed out laughing softly, rubbing his hand through his hair.
“I’m George. Weasley. Like I said, I work at Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, the shop over there, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen this place before...or you for that matter, I never forget a beautiful young woman.” He said smoothly, his heart steadily subsiding - something about you had the power to not only make him scared out of his mind, but also totally at ease.
You returned the smile, warmly, the blood rushing to your cheeks at his compliment and sticking your tongue to your teeth. “Well, George Weasley, of Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes I’m Y/N Y/L/N. And yeah, we’re new around here,” you leaned further onto the counter, realizing, albeit a moment too late that your eye level was directly with his abs now, and although he was wearing a suit...you could definitely tell they were there.
“We erm, just opened three months ago. It’s honestly a bit of a time to work here.”
“Oh and why is that?”
“Well, nothing like a blatant sexist to run an entirely female employed establishment and weird stuffy rich people.” Your eyes widened suddenly, and you felt like you had said far too much far too soon. But he gasp-laughed - laugh that ended as soon as it began and burst into a smile...like you had shared a secret with him.
“What the hell is he doing here then? Got a boy’s club to run in a purple coffee shop?”
“I mean you never really know these days, George, imposters are among us at every moment” you purred and pushed off the counter, meaning it as a joke but George’s heart screamed when he heard your name. As you moved to the other edge of the counter, he followed you.
“What a resourceful and cruel young woman, I am starting to like you, Miss Y/L/N.” He clucked. “And do you think of me like you think of Mr. I-Hate-Women-That’s-Why-I-Hire-Them?” He got inches from your face, smelling the coffee beans and vanilla extract that riddled your skin.
“Hmm...Mr. Weasley, I’m not so sure.” You coyly stepped away from him and took long strides to the far end of the coffee bar by the wall. George immediately felt a pit of flirtatious butterflies and (arousal?) something more in his stomach, jaw dropped, he followed you again. He pressed his hands to the counter in front of you.
“Well, how can I convince you?” He asked rather quickly.
“Hmm...” you leaned forward like he did before and his breath hitched in his throat “...let’s get you a cuppa first.”
-•-
“Wait, okay let me get this straight-“
“Yes?”
“You have 6 other siblings.”
“Yes.”
“...because your mom wanted a girl?”
“That-that would in fact be true, yes.”
You thought for a moment.
“So you’re telling me after she made it through you two-“
“-she still wanted to have more of us, believe me, it races through my mind daily.” He nodded vehemently laughing with you. You two had taken to the empty cafe at a table nestled in the corner, him sitting in a chair across from you on a bench. You had both been cracking each other up with stories from your childhoods, like how you both had managed to never know of the other’s existence until now.
He’d discovered that you had transferred from Hogwarts to Beauxbatons early on in your fourth year. You, a Hufflepuff, loved the quiet and soft landscape of the French school. You both had absolutely no idea the other existed. How? The world may never know.
He was brash. You were careful.
He was already flying when you were just feeling comfortable learning how to walk.
But you sat there with him for the better amount of an hour and a half, laughing and interrupting each other with memories of the school years you had, some weird and strange, and especially during fourth year, hard for George to talk about.
Ginny, his baby sister, had almost died. And as he said to you in a candid and highly vulnerable state: he blamed himself for almost letting her go to this day.
“I...I really do believe it was my fault.”
“George, it couldn’t have been your fault. Hogwarts is a big freaking death trap - you and I both know that,” you had said with an exasperated laugh, eager to make him feel better in any facet.
“Yeah, but...I’m her big brother. Yes, she has five other older brothers but...we were supposed to protect her.” He swallowed and blinked back tears. “It was her first year, for Christ’s sake, and I paid about as much attention to her as a doorknob would.” He had rolled his jaw and taken a gulp of his gingerbread latte (you had said it was your favorite, and he was loathe to try anything else) and you had softly draped your hand on top of his.
“If she’s as kind and loving and funny as you, I’d love to meet her.” You quipped, a small smile growing on your face in effort to soothe. He had smiled back at you, turning your hand over in his and drawing his digits lazily over your palm.
“Funny, because I was thinking the same thing.”
-•-
He had told you to close your eyes, that much had been true.
See, his coffee had started to get cold. So, like if you give a mouse a cookie, he’ll have to have some milk-
If you give a George a latte he will have to not only have another one, but also feel the strenuous need to show off for you and take you to his place of work. Naturally. And it was so lucky that by the time he’d proposed you leave, he even helped you clean and lock up afterwards.
Truthfully, it almost scared you how much he had seemed to care.
“Alright, Y/N, darling, I’m going to release my hands on the count of three, yeah?”
“Perfect, Georgie” you giggled. You’d legitimately only knew him for so long, but you just...you trusted him. He grinned widely, his strong hands only applying a slight amount of pressure as not to hurt you.
“Alright, then. 1. 2-“ he took his hands off your eyes and watched you adjust not only to light, but to your surroundings as well.
“3.” He breathed out taking in the way you smiled like a teenager, face alight with pure inundating wonder. You squealed and started to run around the store.
“Look at these! Pygmy Puffs - ugh they’re so adorable look at this one! Oh, oh - ‘Fizzing Whizbees’ - these look absolutely wicked! And Per- ‘Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder’?” You picked up the glittery stone in your hand, and heard a smooth voice perk up behind you.
“A real money spinner, that one.” You turned around and there was a man that looked absolutely identical to George, although entirely different in the same way.
“Handy if you need to make a quick getaway,” you heard George on the other side of you. He smiled warmly down at you, nodding his head up to look at the twin across from him.
“Y/N, this is my-“
“-older, much more attractive and fiscally responsible brother.” He winked and you blushed almost immediately. “Fred. Weasley.”
“Y/N Y/L/N. Georgie has told me a lot about you and the shop - absolutely marvelous this place is, I cant believe you two created so much in such a short span of time. Brilliant it all is, really!” George had started to flush, rubbing his jaw to seemingly take the red away from his striking face. Fred, upon hearing the genuine warmth from your voice and the unmistakable use of “Georgie” had a small, but highly distinct aha moment:
“Well, we couldn’t have done it all on our own, one of our best friends helped us out a good lot. But thank you, really...it means so much when other people see how much we do and-” he looked directly at George.
“-acknowledge the things we love, right George?”
“Absolutely, Frederick.” Fred had given him the look that seemed to imply: “please, God, make a damn move.”
“Well, Y/N, I’m going to be off and woo some ladies, have a biscuit and do some paperwork” he smiled wide when you giggled, already enjoying your company.
“But I hope to see you again, very soon, yeah? Please stop by whenever you can, we’re alwYs just down the street.”
“Freddie, for your company, I’m not so sure, I’m still deciding.” You quipped. Fred laughed heartily at that and looked at George.
“Georgie, I like this one.” George looked at you and winked.
“Me, too Freddie, me too.” You leaned back on your heels as Fred padded back up the stairs to the flat, now completely alone with George. You threw your arms behind you back and forth and took a long stride to George.
“So...what are you those?” You nodded up to the array of pink bubbles in a clam shape in the corner. He hummed and reached to grab your hand.
“Love potions - c-can I show you?” He raised an eyebrow slightly, but he felt his whole body turn to mush when you accepted his hand and nodded slowly. As he walked with you, you memorized the feeling of his callouses and veins, the way your hand curled deliberately in his.
You wanted to make sure if it was the last time you felt something like that, you had that memory with you for a while.
“Essentially, if you give these to a person they will temporarily have feelings of love and attraction for you. Depending of course on the dosage you use and the weight of the person in question.” He explained. You watched the way his suit jacket pulled taut against his back muscles and instinctively wanted to honestly just take the whole thing off-
“Hmm...I don’t know about these, Georgie.” You hummed mischievously. Your heart was pounding in your chest.
He scoffed placing a dramatic hand over his heart. “Am i being questioned in my own establishment, Miss Y/L/N?”
You rolled your eyes and hit his arm, bowing slightly at him. “Well, do forgive my feminine insolence, Mr. Weasley, it’s not often I meet such bewitching mad scientists like you.” You watched his face grow blank for a moment at your compliment and immediately wanted to throw up.
“George, I’m really sorry, I know we just became friends-“
“Do you mean it?” He took a step towards you. You swallowed finding again his perfect milk chocolate eyes. You nodded.
“Hell yeah I did, you’re smart...and wicked hot” you both laughed at that. He took another step, the distance being unbearably harder to live in as his digits found a piece of hair and wound it behind your ear.
“Well, darling, the feeling is quite mutual.” He said quietly, taking in the whole of your face. He wanted to crash his lips onto every possible nook and crevice of your face, collide with you entirely.
“We’re going to have to do something about that, then, aren’t we?” You gently nudged his nose with yours and wrapped your arms around his neck, his strong and powerful arms pulling you to him gently. He wanted you to feel him not to break under his embrace. He leaned down and brushed his lips up to yours, feeling you whine and let out a minuscule sound.
“Got you making noises for me already and haven’t even kissed you yet, hmm?”
Your eyes fluttered close and one of your legs made it’s way in between his, snapping any chance at loose air between you two out of the way.
“Please, Weasley, pants a bit small for you?”
“Keep talking like that and they might, yeah.” You two laughed softly and with a final look to your lips he closed the last gap.
His mouth was perfect. His lips ghosted over yours one last time before wrapping every part of himself onto your frame, your lips entangled in each other like you’d never be able to taste him again.
But it was loving and slow and sweet. He tasted like gingerbread lattes and pastries and cinnamon and licking into his mouth you could feel the spice. He moaned lightly into your mouth, sending your knees buckling. He dipped you slightly, a hand traveling to your lower back to keep you steady, and his other hand coming up to nestle under the nape of your hair. Your hands caressed his face, his chest, needless to say? You wanted them everywhere. You wanted him everywhere.
The kiss broke and you and George were left breathless in each other’s hold, your foreheads pressed together as he kept you slightly dipped.
“Y/N, I’m feeling a bit tired” he quipped hoarsely, pressing a brief kiss to your lips and onto your neck. You hummed satisfactorily.
“Georgie, you’re gonna need another latte aren’t you?” You set multiple chaste kisses to his lips and cheeks, feeling him rumble with a small giggle. He caught your mouth with his and you moaned slightly.
“I’m gonna need a whole pot, to drink you in, love.”
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shuahoonie · 4 years
Text
holidays with tom [tom holland]
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PAIRING: tom holland x female!reader 
SUMMARY: life isn’t exactly back to normal. with another lockdown in place and the holiday season is vastly approaching, you and tom are stuck in quarantine with each other the problem? there was supposed to be at least 5 of you in that house and tom is the last person you want to be with. shouldn’t be too bad right? 
WARNINGS: in no particular order swearing—err foul language lmao, sexual innuendos, things get heated but not that much??? exuding sexual tension but also fluff??? alcohol consumption, a series of bad decisions??? idk writing this made me experience the 5 stages of grief tbh lmao it’s not that bad I promise lmao
WORD COUNT: 6.9k! 
A/N: hello and happy new year! I was supposed to post this during Christmas Day but guess who got into a writing rut—yet again. I didn’t want to abandon this because I actually had fun writing it. I hope you all had a festive and safe holiday. I know things have been hard but I still hope you guys enjoyed the holiday. 
2020 has finally came to an end and we’re all ending it the same way when the pandemic started—staying at home, hopefully following the appropriate health measures. I can only hope that 2021 is a brighter and hopeful year for all of us.
stay safe, sending u all my love. 
gif credits: @underoos-shield​ 
vanessa’s masterlist | taglist form 
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Two hours. It’s been two hours since you found out that you were going to spend your holidays alone. You were aware that you weren’t going to spend your holidays with your family as you normally would, embracing the fact that working in a different country whilst in the middle of a pandemic was going to be challenging. 
Working in the film industry, constantly visiting sets while still living in a pandemic means that you threw away your chances of being home for the holidays. However, you weren’t entirely the only one who shares a similar struggle. 
“We should still do something for Christmas, you know,” Tom muttered as he watched you lay down on the sofa, your head is supported by the armrest. 
See—it should’ve been you, Ophelia, Alex, William, and Tom in that AirBnB, not just you and Tom.
The five of you reside abroad, however, you all had to fly to Los Angeles for work. You all collectively knew that it would be irresponsible to fly home for the holidays and it wouldn’t make any sense as you would all fly back for work anyway. 
The five of you had a brilliant idea of renting an AirBnB for the holidays since you were all in each other’s personal and work bubble anyway. Obviously, the three of them bailed as they’ve decided to stay with their partners instead, leaving you and Tom alone—which is the last thing you’ve wanted. 
“There’s just us two, Tom,” You replied as you sent a lengthy text to Ophelia, telling and reminding them about what happened between you and Tom.  “I’m not entirely sure if it’s worth anything if we did plan on doing something remotely festive.” 
There are four more days till Christmas and if you were being honest, the last time you felt festive was on the 18th of December...of 2019. 
“Surely there’s something we can do, right?” Tom’s optimism still shined beneath him. “This year has already been shitty enough, we don’t need to feed more into that.” 
The three dots bubble immediately popped up on your message thread with Ophelia as soon as you sent your passive-aggressive rant. Your focus was now on your phone. 
Suddenly, Tom’s face appeared on top of yours—his face was definitely close enough that it’s not CDC approved. He was standing on side of the sofa, both of his palms planted against the armrest as he loomed over you. 
“What do you and your family do during Christmas?” He dared to ask as if he wasn’t towering over you.
Your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. “Uh—give each other personal space?” You answered out of sheer reflex. You always had a problem with keeping your mouth shut, especially when it sounds rude to other people. In your defence, being unable to do so has helped you put people back in place. 
To be fair, you were used to people standing at least 6 ft away from you ever since the pandemic started. 
Tom’s cheeks went bright red. “’m sorry,” He apologized, giving you a shy smile and scratched the back of his neck. You muttered a quick apology too, for acting so rashly. 
You rose from your position and sat upright instead. “Well, we never do anything special during Christmas,” You said as you threw your hair into a bun. “We usually just go to the movies on Christmas Day because that’s the only thing you can do back when life was normal.” 
Tom nodded understandingly as if he was taking this into account. Now you were curious. 
“Do you guys do anything special for Christmas?” You asked him. 
“Well, on Christmas Day, we would usually just lounge around the house and use it as a chance for me and my family to catch up,” Tom replied. “However, on Christmas Eve, my mum always made sure my brothers and I would have this scavenger hunt to look for our gifts—It’s really fun, actually.” Tom smiled sadly. 
You could easily see how Tom was genuinely broken about not being able to be around his family over the holidays. Heck—he really just misses his family. But who wouldn’t? Britney Spears didn’t sing the line “my loneliness is killing me” for nothing. 
“I’m sorry,” was all you could say. Aside from biting your tongue, being able to easily comfort people was one of your weaknesses too. 
“Oh, there’s nothing to be sorry about, darling.” Tom quickly dismissed the genuine heartbreak he was trying to hide. “We’re all making sacrifices and we chose to be responsible for the benefit of other people.” 
“Yeah, I know.” You said softly. “We’ll just try our best to make something out of this holiday season. I mean—we have to or else we’ll welcome 2021 with a fresh face of misery.” 
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“I’m sorry!” Ophelia pouted at the screen as they mindlessly walked around their partner’s place, something that most people do when they’re on the phone with someone. “I genuinely forgot about what happened between you and Tom.” 
“Well, Ollie, it seems like you weren’t the only one.” You replied, adjusting your glasses. Tom seems to be genuinely fine around you, no awkward tensions or anything. If anything, it’s just you who feels weird around him. “But I guess that’s a good thing right?” 
Ophelia forced a smile but they couldn’t, for the life of them, say anything about it. 
“Oh my god,” You sighed “Seriously, Ollie?” 
“It’s just—how could he forget?! You were literally on top of him as I recall and that very much left a permanent image on my mind. I—You know, I really tried my best to forget that ever existing in my mind. So really, if anything, it’s your fault.” Ophelia rambled on. 
“I—I wasn’t on top of him. That’s absurd! I was merely pressed against him” You said defensively, in which Ophelia just laughed atrociously. “Why am I friends with you again?!” You asked rhetorically, bewildered by the fact that you two lasted this long. 
“First of all, that is a hate crime. Second, I’m cool—like everyone wants to be my friend and you should be glad that I gave you the privilege to be even on a nickname basis as me.” 
You rolled your eyes at them. Despite the never-ending banter, you were grateful to have Ophelia as your friend. 
“But seriously, Y/N,” Ophelia said, “You can always just stay with me and Ericka. She’ll be glad to have you over for the holidays.”
“Ollie, as much as I love spending time with you two—I can’t stand being a third-wheel, especially when it comes to the both of you. You two are inseparable when you’re together.” You replied. “I appreciate the offer though.” You smiled at her. 
“I’m just saying—” Ophelia replied, shrugging her shoulder. “Unless you and Tom really want to have the house by yourselves.” They sang teasingly.
“Ophelia!” You gasped. 
“What?” They feigned innocence. “I gave you an option to stay with us! Plus, I know Alex and Will are would’ve asked you to stay with them if they had any idea what happened between you two.” 
“I can’t leave him!” You started to whisper “Tom seems genuinely bummed being here. I can’t just do that to him.” 
It’s as if a light came on inside them. Ophelia started to smirk and you recognized that smirk from anywhere. For christ’s sake, their eyes twinkled like Christmas lights. It drove you nuts. “I fucking knew it.” 
“What?” 
“You like him don’t you?!” They teased, but all you could do was blush. 
“I do not!” You denied it as you could still feel the burning heat emitting from your cheeks. 
“His tongue is that good huh?” Ophelia decided to pry even further. They clearly find enjoyment as you squirmed your way out of this conversation. 
“Bitch, I am ending this call.” That was all you could say. Even if you did find a smart retort, it was no use, especially with Ophelia. They can see right through you and there’s no point in trying to hide it. 
“Honestly, Y/N, we’re living through a pandemic. If there’s any time to make any rash decisions, it’s now. Go get that dick, bih—” 
You drowned out whatever Ophelia was trying to say with your goodbyes and proceeded to end the call. The one time you asked your friend to be serious and they come up with this. 
So—what really happened with you and Tom? 
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It was two years ago. You were at a party that you didn’t even plan on attending. However, you were dragged by Ophelia and their partner, Ericka—your new friends in the area. You couldn’t say no to them, they were your first friend in LA! 
You thought about it though, saying no. But when you got a message from your friend back in Canada sending a photo of your boyfriend ex-boyfriend (the same guy who had ghosted you ever since you moved to LA), swapping spits with another girl, you suddenly had the strong urge to drink until you die of alcohol poisoning.
You were burning with anger that you really felt tears pricking your eyes. You were so close to crying or punching someone—whichever comes first.  
One thing’s for sure, though, you weren’t going to cry over a man. So what did you do? “Ophelia, where’s the booze?!” You asked your friend whose eyes nearly popped out of their head. 
Well, you weren’t really going to punch a stranger. Though you felt this burning sense of violence, it’d be much more satisfying to punch the living daylights out on your ex. 
“Y/N, honey, are you alright?” That line always puts on the waterworks, no?  Ophelia was clearly concerned about your newfound thirst for alcohol. 
You furiously wiped the tears off your face. “Um just found out my boyfriend—er ex-boyfriend, who stopped talking to me as soon as I moved here, is seeing someone else now? I don’t know, am I allowed to feel angry when I don’t even know if we’re still together as soon I moved? Fuck—” You tried to explain as you wiped every tear that left your eyes. 
“Oh—of course, hon.” Ericka who handed you a drink. You weren’t exactly sure what it is, but you knew it has alcohol in it and that’s all that matters. You gulped the entire thing and you wanted more. “Y/N, you need to slow down.”
“Are you sure you want to stay? I mean we can crash at our place, eat take-outs, watch movies and be totally disconnected from the world.” Ophelia suggested, but you shook your head furiously. 
“No, I—I’m ok.” You answered “I can’t let the both of you be stuck in misery with me. I need this. I’ll get drunk and if I'm up for it, I’ll hook up with someone. It’s not a healthy coping method but I really want this night to be a series of bad decisions. I don’t want to be myself, even just tonight.”
 So that’s what you did. You were going from one drink to another in record time. Both Ophelia and Ericka kept an eye on you, just in case someone tried to take advantage of your drunken state. 
You were talking to some guy you met in the kitchen, one thing led to another and next thing you knew, you were making out with this dude in someone’s bathroom. Ophelia and Ericka were drunk enough to pester the guy you were making out with but not drunk 
As you were propped on top of the sink and your legs wrapped around his waist, you felt every bit of his lips explore the side of your neck as his hands explored every inch of your body. With his hand under your shirt and his fingers tracing every part of your skin, it just reminded you of how lonely you were. 
Here you were, a thousand miles away from home, all alone just so you could do the one thing you really love. Your family would sometimes call to check up on you but it just wasn’t the same. Your ex tried to guilt you into staying in Canada, but you couldn’t do that. You love what you do and you love yourself too. 
You were willing to risk everything, even if happiness came at a price. 
Now you were crying, and the guy you were making out with definitely noticed. 
“I’m sorry, am I making you uncomfortable?” He asked as he pulled down your shirt. 
“No—no, I’m just—” You tried to calm yourself down. “I’m not sure if I want to do this anymore.” 
“That’s alright,” He mumbled wiping the tears off your face. “Do you want to talk about it? You seem rattled.” 
“It’s just I’m so tired of pretending everything is alright—that I’m okay being alone, that I don’t need anyone. But it’s just so hard because I’m—” You sobbed “I’m so fucking lonely. I’m so tired of being alone.” 
The guy tucked the stray piece of hair behind your ears as he carefully wiped your tears with his thumb. He was just silent as he listened to you sob. 
“I’m sorry, I know you definitely didn’t come to this party to watch a complete stranger cry over something stupid.” You couldn’t even look him in the eye, you were embarrassed as this was the first time you felt really vulnerable—especially in front of a stranger. 
“No, you’re alright.” He tried to console you “I think that’s the beauty in strangers, no? You can act and do whatever you want in front of them because there’s a slim chance you’ll ever see them again.” 
You were definitely drunk enough that trying to make sense of who the person was a struggle enough of itself. You tried your best to look at the guy but your vision was getting hazy and you could feel your head thumping that focusing made you feel like you want to crack your head in half. 
A loud knock on the door caused you two to jump. “I’m coming in,” Ophelia yelled and opened the door. Ophelia looked at the guy for a while, trying to make sense of who he was before their eyes widened. “I remember now—You’re Tom Holland.”
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Imagine your surprise when you found out that you were going to work with Tom Holland for a while. You tried your best to avoid Tom at work but of course, that didn’t work out. He never brought up what happened between you two and you assumed he probably forgot all about it.
You tried to rationalize that he meets a lot of people every day. Surely, one failed hook-up wasn’t worth remembering (especially with alcohol involved) and you held on to that. 
At least that’s what makes you sleep at night and also one of the reasons why you considered spending the holidays with him. However, you were also expecting your crew friends to stay with you and not just Tom. 
“Y/N, did you like the gift? It’s from me and Ericka!” Ophelia asked. It was the next day and you two were just chatting on FaceTime. You were sorting out your closet out of sheer boredom. You figured if you were going to stay here for three weeks, the least you could do was sort your clothes out. 
You stared at the neatly wrapped box that Ophelia and Ericka dropped off earlier this morning. “I haven’t opened it yet.” You said as you showed them the box. “I wanna open it till Christmas.” 
“Oh my god, just open it. Christmas doesn’t exist this year, babe.” Ophelia waved their hand, encouraging you to open it. 
“Fine,” You gave in. You opened the box and saw a very lush and well-made lingerie set. “Ophelia, what the fuck” You gasped. You held out the lingerie in front of the camera. 
“Y/N, I definitely outdid myself this time.” Ophelia sighed happily, staring at the screen. “Try it on!”
“Ollie, this is gorgeous but when am I ever going to use this?” You asked holding it out on your body and looking at the mirror. 
“Uh—you’re stuck at home with your failed but also potential hookup,” Ollie suggested, wiggling their eyebrows. “Who knows what might happen?”  
You rolled your eyes at them. “Bold of you assume that something might happen.”
“Something won’t happen if you don’t try that one,” Ophelia said. “C’mon, I wanna see.” 
You shook your head and went out of frame in order to strip off your clothes. You tried on the lingerie—it’s a black lace teddy with a very exposing back. IT fit you perfectly—it accentuated your figure and definitely showed off your boobs. You weren’t really fond of showing off your body but you still tried your best to show it to your friend. 
“What do you think?” You asked, stepping back to the frame. 
“You look gorgeous, babe!” Ophelia squealed. “I knew I made the right choice with black.” 
“I still don’t know where I should wear this though—” You were stopped mid-sentence when your door swung open. 
“I know what we’re doing this—Oh shit. I’m so sorry,” Tom stood there, frozen, his eyes widened and immediately shut the door. 
You couldn’t even say anything. You were frozen in shock.
“Was that Tom?” Ophelia asked from the call, briefly forgetting that you were talking to them through FaceTime. 
You nodded slowly, unable to talk.
“What did he think?” Ophelia asked excitedly. 
You snapped out of this haze. “Ollie,” you groaned. “I think he was mentally scarred. 
“What do you mean scarred? You look great!” Ophelia said, appalled. “If he doesn’t think you look banging in that lingerie then it’s his loss.” 
“I gotta go, I need to change.” You said, bidding Ophelia goodbye. “Thanks for the gift, Ollie. Tell Ericka thanks too.” 
You ended the call and changed into comfier clothes. You couldn’t help but wonder how on earth you’re going to face Tom now that he’s seen you practically naked. Well, it’s not like that’s a new sight. He did see you with your bra on when you were making out in the bathroom that one time. But still! 
Are you actually going to spend your Christmas in your room?
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It was the next day and there are only two more days till Christmas. You spent the entirety of last night in your room after the incident between you and Tom. 
You were about to make yourself some coffee when you found Tom in the kitchen, making tea for himself. You stood there frozen, wondering if you were going to proceed to the kitchen or just run back to your room since Tom hasn’t noticed you—
“Oh—good morning, Y/N.” So close. 
You smiled at Tom and said, “Good morning, Tom.” 
You grabbed a coffee pod and waited for the Keurig to make your coffee. You leaned back against the counter and fiddled with your phone—all in the hopes that things move quickly and for this awkward tension to be over. 
Honestly, why were you so worked up about it? People have seen you in a bikini before and that’s no different from lingerie. If anything, lingerie is itchier and has lace. You should be able to feel confident in your own body and you shouldn’t have to mind what other people think of it. It’s yours alone and it’s your opinion that should matter—
“I’m terribly sorry about last night, Y/N.” Tom apologized, sincerity was written all over his face. “I should’ve knocked and I just got so bloody excited about what we can do over Christmas—but that’s no excuse for what I’ve done. What I did was incredibly intrusive and you deserve a proper apology.”
“Tom, I—”
“I wanted to apologize last night—over dinner—but you didn’t come down to eat, so I figured you didn’t want to talk. “ He rambled on. 
“Tom—” 
“But even then I should’ve asked you to come down and eat dinner because that’s what any decent human would do! And yet I didn’t. God—I’m just doing one wrong thing after another—” 
“Tom, listen to me.” 
“Hm?” He finally snapped out and looked at you in the eyes. 
“It’s okay. It was an honest mistake and you sincerely apologized, and for me, that’s enough.” You smiled softly at him. “So—what’s this thing you planned over Christmas?” 
“I was thinking we could do both our family traditions over the next two days. My family and I usually do a roast dinner and open our Christmas stockings on Christmas Eve. Then on the 25th, we can watch movies all day just like you do with your family.” Tom grinned, clearly satisfied with his plan. “What do you think?”
“I think it’s a great idea,” You smiled “However, I don’t think we have any ingredients for a roast dinner and we don’t really have Christmas stockings. Well—I don’t have any Christmas stockings and stocking stuffers.” 
“That’s true,” Tom mumbled “But I have to do the food shopping anyway. We’re running low on food and I couldn't really book one of those online delivery things that most groceries now offer.” 
You nodded. “Okay, so I guess I have to get the house sorted then.” 
When you two first arrived in this AirBnB a few days ago, it had already been decorated for Christmas. It had a massive tree in the living room decorated with stunning and intricately-themed ornaments. Christmas garlands were wrapped around the stair-bannisters and foliages were placed by the fireplace and the tables. 
All you really had to do was clean the place—do a bit of vacuuming and get things nice and neat for Christmas. It didn’t take you too long to do it too. It had only been a couple of minutes since Tom left to do the food shopping and you prayed to the gods that he doesn’t get too much attention whilst out. 
You figured you might as well do some last-minute shopping while Tom was out, so you can grab gifts for him as well. After all, this whole thing was orchestrated by Tom and you don’t even have anything to give him for his stockings. 
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You arrived at your AirBnB a tad later than Tom. He was in the kitchen putting things away when he saw you walk through the door. 
“Ah, I was wondering whether I spooked you with my plan,” Tom commented, making you chuckle and roll your eyes. 
“Trust me, I would’ve made it very obvious if you did.” You replied, earning a laugh from Tom. “I went out to do my last-minute shopping. Granted, it’s not ideal since we’re still living through a pandemic, but there’s not actually that many people where I went to considering it’s the Christmas rush.” 
You made sure to hide the stuff you bought using the handmade tote bags that a friend gave you for your birthday. No retail bags, no clue. “How did you survive the groceries? I bet it’s busy out there.” 
“Yeah, it was.” Tom chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Remind me to never do that again for Christmas.” 
“Sure,” You said, “That is if I spend another Christmas with you.” You said jokingly, hoping that Tom didn’t find that rude. 
“You’ll never know,” Tom shrugged. “What if you liked our Christmas this year and you’d be begging to spend Christmas with me and my family in London,” Tom smirked, playing along. 
“Yeah, right.” You scoffed playfully, crossing your arms. “If anyone’s begging, it’s going to be you.”
Tom stepped closer, “Wanna bet?” He whispered, a teasing look in his eyes. “Whoever has the most fun during our respective holiday traditions would have to spend the holidays with them next year.” 
“Oh, you’re on, Holland.” You took a step closer. “We will both film our holidays for the entire two days and then we’ll ask Ophelia, Alex, and Will to vote whoever looks like they had the most fun.”
“Okay,” Tom nodded “But no editing! We’ll give them raw footage so there are no chances of tampering.” 
You laughed but you agreed anyway. “Of course, we’ll give them hours of footage. The least we could do is make them sit through hours of content after they ditched us all alone on the holidays.” 
Tom gave a broad smile. “Let the festivities begin.” 
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It was the 24th of December—Christmas Eve. You spent the entirety of last night wrapping Tom’s presents for later. Not that you despise Christmas, but it’s been a while since you were actually excited to celebrate it. It was pretty clear that the magic of Christmas dies once you grow up. 
Today was different; you were looking forward to whatever Tom has installed for tonight. 
You went downstairs to make some breakfast only to be greeted by Tom blasting Christmas music and preparing some ingredients for breakfast in the kitchen. 
“Good morning, Y/N, happy Christmas Eve,” Tom greeted with a huge grin. “Say, hi to the camera.” 
“Oh, we’re starting this early, huh?” You asked, putting your hair into a loose ponytail. 
“Why of course, we have to make the best out of this,” Tom said, holding the camera to your face. “I made you coffee.” Tom handed you a cup of coffee. 
“Are you using my love for coffee as an advantage?” You tried to hide your smile while drinking your coffee. 
“Obviously not,” Tom feigned his innocence. “I obviously did not know you were obsessed with coffee—it’s not like I don’t see you on set without one.” He mumbled in which you definitely heard, giving him a smack on the head. “Ow! I’m kidding.” He laughed.
You rolled your eyes at him. “So, what’s for breakfast?” 
“We’re going to make french crèpes,” Tom replied and propped the camera on the kitchen island, facing the two of you. 
“Do you know how to make french crèpes?” You asked, washing your hands. 
Tom blinked, almost trying to decide whether he wants to be honest or impressive. “Do you know how to make french crèpes?” He returned the question. 
“Oh honey, my mom resents me in the kitchen.” You replied, taking a sip from your coffee. “But you know, I manage.” You murmured.
“That’s giving me a lot of hope, darling, thank you.” He said half-heartedly. 
“Shut up,” You nudged him playfully, rolling your eyes. “Tom, honestly, most of the footage is just us bantering for 20 minutes.” 
“To be fair, that’s part of the fun.” Tom smiled. “Okay, I think you just mix all of these in a bowl. Start with the dry ingredients first.” He said, looking at the recipe on his phone.
“Okay, that shouldn’t be too hard,” You commented pouring the ingredients into the bowl. As you started all of the ingredients together, you noticed small lumps forming in the batter. “Tom, did you sift the dry ingredients by chance?” 
“You were supposed to sift it?” He asked, completely clueless. 
You nodded slowly. Panic was now clearly painted on his face. “I’m sure we’ll be fine.” You tried to reassure him. 
It was not fine. The first time you two tried to pour the batter in the pan, you burnt the entire thing. It’s not even the cute, lightly burnt crepe. It was activating the smoke alarm-burnt crepe. 
The next one was pancake-like. The next one after that had pocket flours on the crepes because you two didn’t sift your dry ingredients beforehand. You ran out of the batter when you two finally got the consistency right—you managed to get one proper crepe from the entire batter. 
“I feel like Sam would probably curse me out as soon as he finds out I fucked up a simple crepe,” Tom said, delicately filling the crepe with creme and berries. “My brother’s done so well in culinary school.” He cut a piece with his fork and brought it to your mouth.
“Well, you can’t have everything.” You said taking a bite out of the crepe. “This is better than the last one.” 
Tom nodded, taking a bite of it himself. “It’s not as tasty as Sam’s but I’ll take it.” 
“Now, I’m curious as to what your brother’s cooking tastes like.” You commented taking another bite from the crepe. 
“I guess I’ll just take you home to London to find out,” Tom teased with an annoying grin. 
“As long as I’m being fed, I’m fine with it.” You remarked. What in god’s name are you are you two playing?!
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The day rolled by very quickly. It was already evening when you finished wrapping the presents for your friends. You plan on dropping it off tomorrow before you persuade Tom to glue yourselves on the couch for the entire day. 
You grabbed all of Tom’s gifts—Christmas stocking included— when you went downstairs, only to be greeted by someone yelling at Tom through his phone. 
“I did everything right, Sam. I don’t know why you’re yelling.” Tom yelled back at his phone. His back was turned against you as he was putting away the pots and pans that he used. 
You quietly walked up behind him and said calmly, “Why are you yelling?” 
Tom probably jumped six feet away from you, making you laugh. You always forget that he gets scared easily. “Holy shit, don’t scare me like that, Y/N.” Tom breathed out, putting a hand over his chest. 
“I’m sorry,” You said whilst laughing. “I promise I won’t do it again.” Tom rolled his eyes, murmuring something about you being insincere about it. 
“Please do it again!” You heard, whom you assume is Sam, say from the background. You looked at Tom’s phone that’s propped on the island and saw his brothers on FaceTime. 
You beamed at them. “Any recommendations?” You asked, hearing Tom groan behind you. 
“Well, he hates—” 
“This is the last thing I want in 2020, for my brothers and Y/N to conspire against me,” Tom said loudly on purpose, drowning his brothers' voices.
“Tom, don’t be rude. Let your brothers finish—” Tom put his hand against your mouth. 
“I’ll call you guys later,” Tom said “Wave goodbye, Y/N.” He used his free hand to grab your hand and forced a wave towards his brothers. The call soon came to an end and you could only roll your eyes at Tom. You seem to do that a lot around him. You also do a lot of that when you try to hide your feelings towards a person you like but that’s beside the point. 
“So are we going to have dinner first or are we going to do presents first?” You asked fixing your Christmas sweater, a gift from your parents since you and your family usually wear matching sweaters for Christmas. “Or are you the type to wait until Christmas Day to open presents?” 
“We can do the Christmas stockings after dinner tonight, then do the presents tomorrow, if you’d like,” Tom answered with his arms crossed. 
You shrugged, telling him it doesn’t matter since you don’t really go all out on Christmas. Your family on the other hand—the house is always full of people, especially since most of your extended family are usually around during the holidays. You had this ongoing game you made for yourself whether or not you’ll be able to greet everyone with the number of people in the house. 
You could only guess how quiet your family’s Christmas is going to be. You definitely needed to call your parents later. 
“Is the sweater that itchy, Y/N?” You heard Tom ask, breaking away from your thoughts. 
“Huh?” You asked, confused. You didn’t even notice that you’ve been scratching yourself subconsciously. 
“You’ve been scratching yourself since I saw you.” Tom said, chuckling. “It’s a cute sweater on you.” 
You smirked. “That reminds me—I got something for you, Tom.” Tom raised his brow as you grabbed the bag you stashed behind the tree. “Actually my parents got this for you. A little thank you gift apparently for having the tolerance to stay with me over the holidays—as if you had a choice.” You mumbled the last part. 
Tom curiously opened the bag and there revealed a matching sweater such as yours. This year’s sweater was green and had red tinsel all over it, probably the reason why you’re itchy. The real kicker is that—
“No way,” Tom gasped “It lights up?!” He asked laughing. It lights up. 
“Yeah, I don’t recommend turning that on. I did it earlier and I’m pretty sure I was about to combust—it’s a real fire hazard.” You replied, enjoying the genuine joy that Tom is showing on his face. 
“Oh but we have to turn the lights on when we take pictures,” He commented as he put on the sweater. “Thanks, Y/N.” He said softly, surprising you with a hug. 
It’s the first real physical contact that you two had ever since that night when you made out and you were pretty adamant that people were just making up this notion of having butterflies in their stomach—they weren’t. 
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Tom’s roast dinner went surprisingly well. You kept teasing him that it’s Sam that you had to thank because you knew that Tom wouldn’t last in the kitchen without his brother’s instructions. Tom pouted the whole time. You eventually had to tell him 
“It was sweet.” You told him as you helped him clear out the plates. 
Tom was confused. 
“I don’t think I’ve known someone that went through hell and back just to make a great effort Christmas dinner —even if it means getting yelled at by your brother.” You said, smiling softly at him. “I mean it’s just us two, really. We don’t even have to do this.”
“Think that’s the reason why I wanted to do it,” Tom replied. Now you’re confused. “It’s because it’s the two of us—that’s why I wanted to do it.” 
As soon as you heard those words come out of Tom’s lips, you tried your best to stay calm. To say that you weren’t overwhelmed with emotions would be a huge lie. For someone who couldn’t hold their tongue, you were speechless. Tom’s giving you a run for your money and you weren’t exactly thrilled about it. 
After dinner, you and Tom opened your stocking presents. The presents were pretty tame at the start—you both got each other socks, which was hilarious but greatly appreciated. You love socks, especially comfy and cushiony ones. You came to learn that Tom does too, which prompted you two to wear the socks immediately. 
You got him candy canes, he got you chocolates. You also snuck in those small, in-flight alcohol bottles in there too—which he ended up loving. He got you those 10-pack skincare face masks, in which you let out a huge gasp, making him laugh. 
“Oh, we have to use this at some point!” You exclaimed happily “Like, we need to have a spa night—where we just watch movies, doing face masks, eating takeouts. Oh, that’s the dream!” You sighed happily. 
“We still have two weeks left till we go back to work, I'm sure we can find the time to do that,” Tom said with a permanent smile on his face, watching you with pure joy made him feel like he accomplished something big. 
You got him one of those Instax polaroid cameras—true, it was a bit too much for a stocking stuffer especially since the box definitely stood out against the stocking, but you figured he’ll like it. 
“Darling, this is too much but I’m thankful,” Tom commented as he took out the camera from the box. “I can’t wait to use this and keep memories using it—why don’t we start right now?! Let’s take a photo of us and our matching sweaters!”  
Tom took a lot of photos of you two, in the end. A couple of overexposed photos, one with the matching sweaters, one with your faces pressed against each other, one with your faces way too close to the camera, and one where he gave you a kiss on your cheek (he asked if that’s okay, of course, you said yes. it’s not like he hasn’t kissed you before— still no conversations about that, by the way). It was a good thing you got him at least 3 boxes of those 20 pack films in his stockings as well. 
The real kicker was Tom’s “small” stocking present for you. He got you this dainty, gold necklace with a crescent moon charm. You were pretty sure it was expensive because of the teal box it came with. 
“Stop,” You gasped “Tom, now this—this is too much.” You stressed out. “I can’t have this. Nope, you have to return this.”
Tom shrugged as if it was nothing. “You deserve it. Darling, you deserve something nice after this shitty year.” 
“Tom, I’m serious. This is too much.” 
“I’m serious too, Y/N. Keep it, please. I’d be offended if you don’t.”
After the roller coaster of emotions due to the stocking presents, you gave your parents a call to wish them a merry Christmas. They insisted to do a video call because they wanted to see Tom in the family sweater—which your mom wouldn’t stop gushing about. 
“I think your mum loves me,” Tom whispered closely in your ear. He didn't have to try too hard. With the laptop propped up on top of the coffee table, you two were sitting close together on the living room floor—knees touching, maximum close skin contact. CDC would never approve. 
“Yeah, I think it’s the accent,” You mumbled jokingly. 
Tom moved his head to take a good look at you, smiling. You could feel his eyes burning your skin. Why does he have to look at you like that? Why does he have to be this close?
The initial video call with your parents turned into a whole family reunion when you found out they set up a group call with your extended family. Imagine the dread and fear in your eyes when you heard your one aunt ask, 
“Finally, Y/N, is that your boyfriend?” 
Your eyes widened as you stuttered to say your defence, making Tom chuckle. You frowned at him and nudged him saying, “Don’t laugh, tell them no or I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“No, unfortunately, I’m not,” Tom replied, laughing. “However, I do believe we make a cute couple, don’t we?” He teased, earning an earnest yes from your mom. 
You could only wish for the floor to swallow you whole. 
As the clocks rolled to twelve, it was officially Christmas. You and Tom figured you might as well start opening gifts again because Christmas Day is going to be a drag for the two of you. 
“Okay, start with this.” You said as you handed him a gift bag. You didn’t give him a lot of gifts for the actual Christmas Day because you went all out on the stuffers. 
“Pyjamas?” He asked with a grin. You made a signal for him to give you a minute. You ran to your room and changed into pyjamas. 
“Not just pyjamas, Tom, but matching pyjamas!” You exclaimed, laughing. “I saw it and figured we should do this for my day.”
“Sick!” Tom laughed. Tom got into his pair of pyjamas as well and of course, he didn’t forget to pull out his new polaroid camera to take a photo of you two. “Shit, I forgot to film our entire Christmas Eve.” He said as he saw the camera that was still sitting on the kitchen island from earlier that morning. 
You shrugged. “I’m pretty sure you’ll win either way. Just that content from the breakfast crepes was enough to secure your place.” You said jokingly.
“All I’m hearing is that you’re going to spend Christmas with me in London next year.” Tom sang teasingly. 
“Yeah, maybe bringing you to our big Christmas holidays is a bad idea.” You wondered out loud. 
“I like your family,” Tom commented with a smile “and I think they will love having me there for the holidays.” 
“That would be a nightmare.” You mumbled to yourself. 
The rest of the night dragged on. You and Tom finished the rest of your gifts—you got him a watch, he got you a vinyl player. You two managed to watch the first Harry Potter film before you called it a night. 
You were about to head into your room when you heard Tom say, “Mistletoe.”
“Hm?” You hummed, confused. He placed a finger under your chin and gently tilted your head. There you saw a mistletoe hanging by one of the light fixtures. 
“How did that even—” 
“Can I kiss you?” Tom asked, cupping the sides of your face. 
“Hm?” Tom was definitely giving you a run for your money. How can a girl with a speech turn speechless?
“Can I kiss you?” He asked more softly. All you could do was nod. For if you even dare to open your mouth, all of this would cease to exist.  
His lips gently touched yours and then soon moulded into one. It was soft, sweet—familiar. His lips were something you never thought about—at least not a lot but you craved it. You crave his lips, his touch, him. You were riding a new high and you thanked every single god that you were sober to remember this—because this, this is something you want to cherish. 
“You told me you’re tired of being alone,” Tom whispered against your lips. “You don’t have to be anymore. Not when you have me, not ever.”
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PERMANENT TAGLIST: @quaksonhehe @dark-infernal-instruments @trustfundparker @emsma11​ @tomshufflepuff​ @spider-babe​ @goodgirlgonetom​
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harryibo · 4 years
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No Working Tonight
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Note:...hi jkhdskhf this is my first ever fic i’ve ever written so.....if its not good then this never happened lkdjjk. Anyways i’m not really sure how I feel about this so let me know what you think bc idk if i’m in love with it. Also, sorry for any mistakes like i’ve said i’ve never done this before lmao.
content: assistant!y/n X harry styles 
warnings: none really, drinking maybe. 
word count: 2.1k+
                                            ///
Y/n has been running around all day trying to get things ready for tonight. Tonight was very important and everything had to be perfect. She’s spent half of her day on the rooftop of one of Harry’s favorite fancy clubs in LA, where the party is going to be. She’s been setting up tables and making sure there was enough drinks and food for every one that RSVPed. Tonight they were celebrating the end of love on tour. Celebrating the end of the fine line era really. He’s worked so hard writing, recording and then touring. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t proud of him. 
Now though, she can’t think about that, she needs to focus so she can finish up and head home to get ready for tonight. Just as she’s going over the last few things with the staff of the club, Harry walks in.
 “Hey!” Y/n says when she notices him “What are you doing here? You’re Supposed to be getting ready for tonight!” 
“I could ask ya the same thing! thought I told ya no workin’ tonigh’” he replies. 
“Hmm, no rest for the wicked I guess” y/n jokes. “Anyways, what are you doing here??”
 “Came to drop some things off ’or tonigh’, but I was serious! No workin’! Go home! Get ready! You’re not my assistant tonigh’ you're a Guest, and guests aren’t to arrive for a few more hours.” Harry replied.
“I know, I know, I’m sorry! I just want to make sure everything is perfect for tonight! You’ve worked hard.”
 “n’ I’m sure it will be, you’ve worked just as hard as me love, if anythin’, tonigh’ is a celebration of you to, couldn'ta done it without ya.”
“Don’t say that” y/n says, rolling her eyes. “I just follow your orders” she fake smiles at him. 
He copies her previous movement, rolling his own eyes. “go home Before I have to call security on ya, I’ll see you tonigh’ love.”
                                             ///
Y/n showed up early of course. To make sure everything was still running smoothly. And it was, of course, she was the one who set this all up after all. 
As the night went on, more and more friends and family of Harry’s have arrived. She’s never seen him so happy. He was practically glowing under all the praise he was getting. He deserved it all. 
“Y/n!” She heard Harry call, breaking her out of her thought. “Come over here! There’s someone I want you to meet!” 
She excused herself from the Conversation she was pretending to be interested in. Making her way over to Harry, grabbing another Champagne glass off a tray of a server who walked by.
“Harry” he said, placing his hand on her back and pulling her a tad bit closer. “this is y/n l/n, y/n, this is Harry Lambert.” 
“Oh, yes of course!” Y/n said, shaking his hand. “I’ve heard so much about you!” 
“As have I you!” Lambert replied. “I can’t believe it’s taken us so long to meet! As we both spend as much time with H as we do.” 
The night went on like that. Harry pulling her from groups of people to people, introducing her to everyone he could.
It would have been a little strange to y/n if she didn’t have quite as many champagne glasses in her as she did, but Harry did say she wasn’t working tonight after all. So why was he keeping her so close by? If he didn’t need her for anything, why was he making sure she wasn’t out of his sight all night? 
A couple of new acquaintances and Champagne glasses later. Jeff stepped up on a makeshift stage. “If I could get everyone's attention for just a moment please?” He said into a microphone. “Hi, I’m sorry, I’ll let you all get back to eating and mingling amongst yourselves In just a Moment, I just wanted to say a few words about the man of the hour.” 
Jeff’s promise to be just a moment did not come true. After Jeff had said a speech about how proud he was of Harry, there seemed to be a line of others who also wanted to share just how proud they were of him. And again, he was glowing. Complements looked good on him.
Maybe it was the champagne, or maybe it was just The sheer fact that y/n was so proud of Harry that she couldn’t keep it in any longer and she felt the need to share her own speech of praise in front of all his friends and family.
Mitch was finishing up his speech, so she went and stood by the makeshift stage so when he was done, he would pass her the microphone. 
“Hi everybody.” y/n said into the mic once Mitch wrapped his speech up. “so I guess it's my turn to say a few words now.” she said with a small laugh.
“Um, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m y/n l/n, H’s assistant….servant, same thing right?” She laughed as did everyone in the crowd.
She made eye contact with Harry who was rolling his eyes at her previous joke. “no no, I’m just kidding, Harry’s actually really amazing to work with. He always jokes about he doesn’t know where he’d be without me, he’d truly lose his head if It wasn’t screwed on.” she laughs again. “but really, I’m not sure where I’d be if it wasn’t for him.” Her voice softened.
“I’m just so so proud of you and the man you have become H, and I know everyone else here is too. You are truely, the most selfless hard working man I know, and I just can’t say enough how proud I am of you. Congratulations on fine line.” She finishes, holding up her champagne glass as a toast, and the rest of the crowd follows. 
She steps off the small stage and hands the microphone over to the next person. Walking over to where Harry is standing.
He has such a content look on his face. “hey.” she starts.
“Hi.” he smiles. “thank you.” He says, pulling her into a hug. “really, your words mean a lot to me, so thank you.” 
“Of course H, I meant everything I said.” she says into his neck.
She spends the rest of the speeches by him, with his hands on both her shoulders gently swaying them both. Every once in a while she’ll look up at Harry’s face to see his endeared smile at someone talking about him on stage, or laughing at something they said. 
A few more complaints and embarrassing stories later, the night is winding down and people are starting to head out. Y/n is one of the last people there, helping clean up, and making sure all the dishes and decor that Harry brought from home himself, gets back to his place.
“’scuse me? Thought I told you no workin’ tonigh’” Harry says, walking over to her.
She smiles at him. “if I don’t do this then who will?” She starts to walk to him, meeting him in the middle when she trips, almost falling but Harry reached out and grabbed her. “woah, careful love.”
“See I told you,” she said. “wasn’t working tonight, had too much champagne.” 
“Yeah I see that, not really in a state to drive are ya?” 
“Probably not, I was gonna call myself an Uber.”
“Nonsense, ride with me?”
“Mhhh okay, but only because I’m gonna be the one calling your car round anyways. It’s the least you can do.” She jokes.
As they walk down the stairs and to the front of the building where his car is waiting for them, Harry keeps a hand on her the whole time, just in case she falls again. 
“Here ya go love.” he says, opening her door, helping her climb in, and buckling her seat belt.
“Thank you, but I can buckle myself up you know?”
“Hm, judging from that almost fall upstairs, doubtful.” Harry replies, climbing in his own seat next to her. “Home please.” He tells his driver.
“Not funny.” y/n says, laying her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. “you have fun tonight H?” 
If Harry’s heart could burst, he swears it would right then and there. “I did love.” He chuckles.
“Why are you laughing? I’m serious you know?” 
“Mh so I am. You’re a sleepy drunk huh? Don’t think I’ve ever seen you drunk before.”
“I should hope not, you’ve only ever seen me when I’m working” She says, eyes still closed.
“Suppose, did you have fun tonigh’ love?”  
“Mh” She hums. “I’m so cold.” 
“Ya cold? Comere.” He says, pulling her further into him, wrapping his arms around her and running his hands up and down her to warm her up.
“Thanks” she says sleepily.
                                           \\\
“Wake up love, we’re home.” y/n feels Harry whisper into her hair.
She stirs awake, still laying against Harry. Lifting her head up so she’s looking at him, their faces inches apart.
“Hi” she whispers.
“Lo’ love.”
“You’re so pretty.” she whispers at him again.
A couple moments pass before he whispers back. “thank you sweetheart, you’re prettier.” 
She stares up at him again, looking at his eyes, moving down to his lips when he licks them and says “let’s go inside yeah?”
“You brought me back to your house?” She Asks while he helps her step out if the car, still worried about her falling.
“Hm” he hums. “wanted to make sure you’re safe.”
“I’m not that drunk H.” she laughs. “just a little sleepy s’all.” 
“Just let me take care of ya yeah?”
“That’s my job.” she laughs as Harry leads her inside his house. 
“You’re off duties tonigh’, member?”
“Guess you’re right.” 
“Hm, go get yourself changed into some comfy clothes yeah? I’m gonna get ya some water.” 
If she wasn’t so tired and ready to get out of her dress, she would have protested some more, but instead she agreed and headed upstairs to Harry’s room. She must have something here to wear. She has spent a couple nights in Harry’s guest bedroom when she was working too late and Harry didn’t want her to fall asleep on her drive home.
Instead of making her way to the guest bedroom. Something (the champagne most likely) carried her into Harry’s bedroom. She opened his closet doors and ran her fingers across his t-shirt section, that she just color coded a couple of weeks ago. 
She picked her favorite, a white shirt with blue writing that says “enjoy heath, eat your honey” and slipped it on over her head. She also slipped on some of his boxer shorts. 
Feeling more tired than ever. She walked herself over to his bed and laid down on the comforter, deciding she’d wait for Harry there.
                                           \\\
She stirred awake for the second time that night when she felt Harry pulling the comforter over her.
“Shhh, go back to sleep baby, just covering you up.” Harry whispered.
She grabbed his arm when he went to move away. “mm, where you going?” she mumbled, Sleepily. 
“Gonna go lay down in the guest bedroom Love, you stay here yeah?”
“Nooo” she whined, opening her eyes to look at him. “lay with me?”
Again, if Harry’s heart could burst, it would. “Ya want me to stay?”
She nodded her head. “Please?”
“Okay baby I’ll stay, scoot over.”
After Harry climbed into bed, she made herself at home on his chests once again.
“Comfy?” He asked.
“Mhh” she hummed, looking up at him. “Harry?”
“Yeah love?” He said, looking back down at her.
She was laying on his chests still, head facing up so that she was looking directly at him. She scanned his face, starting at his eyes, they were content, she traveled down to his lips, staying there, watching them whisper “not nice to Stare love” after a moment.
He brings his hand down to her own lips, dragging his thumb across them.
 “H?” She whispers again.
He brings his eyes back up to hers.
“Kiss me.” She says.
“What?” 
“Please.” She whispered back, pulling herself closer to him.
He searched her eyes for any sign of doubt. When he found none, he leaned in connecting their lips, kissing her soft at first. He pulled back, looked at her again, making sure she was still alright, then leaned back in, kissing her and kissing her, until they both ran out of breath. 
She laid her chin on his chest, smiling up at him, while he’s running his fingers through her hair. 
“Ya good?” He asks, smiling at her content face. 
“The best”  She replied.
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waithyuck · 4 years
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smile
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***part of the nct almost collab by @hyucksie***
pairing: zhong chenle x reader (f)
genre: ANGST, a single grain of fluff
word count: 7k
warnings: swearing, depictions of depression, overall sadness, frustration/anger, the reader is sort of obsessed with chenle, heartbreak, descriptions of a panic attack + anxiety, chenle becomes an ass :/, forced kissing, hyuck is a good friend :)
a/n: my piece for the ALMOST collab! I hope you all enjoy this mess of feelings 🥴 idk if this is actually good or not but I think I’m happy with the way it turned out ??? idk anyway enjoy lmao
———
Ever since you could remember, you’ve had a crush on Chenle.
Literally ever since you could remember, considering he’s been in your life since you were five years old.
Classic boy next door trope, you could say.
You attended the same school and even shared classes together throughout your elementary and middle school years. High school obviously had a lot more freedom, giving you the opportunity to pick and choose classes that suited your interests. naturally, that pulled the two of you apart in a certain sense.
You could recall one instance in the very beginning of your freshman year where you caught Chenle and some random girl kissing behind the bleachers. It tore you apart inside, so young a fragile at the time, but you threw on a smile like you always tended to do, and let out a quick and airy apology before running off into the safety of Donghyuck’s arms.
Nonetheless, you and Chenle were pretty damn close; kind of like those best friends you see in books or stories...except that in fiction they usually end up together, and you and Chenle, well...haven’t yet.
You still had hope though, that maybe he felt the same way you did for him. You held onto that hope and cherished it, considering it was the only reason you could get up and face the world on most days.
Yeah, you knew it was pathetic. at least you could acknowledge the fact that relying on feelings from a boy you liked was incredibly stupid, but hey, you had the brain of a senior in high school.
Anyway, you and Chenle were very friendly toward each other, and of course you would talk to each other out your individual windows sometimes late at night, but it wasn’t like those stories people read online. You were simply really good friends; nothing like brother and sister, but certainly not anything more than just friends.
You’d say you probably know more about Chenle than most; besides your shared friends Donghyuck (who was already in university, and your closest friend next to Chenle) and Jisung (who was just a tad bit younger and too shy to really hold a conversation with you). You paid close attention to him because, well, who doesn’t want to know everything about the person they’re crushing on?
Even so, it was definitely a given that Chenle was extremely passionate about his schoolwork and his future career. This kid wanted to be the ‘best lawyer the world has ever seen’, according to himself. You were always supportive of him, egging him on when the workload got to him and assuring him that everything would be okay in the end, even when he was exhausted from all his extracurricular activities and volunteering. Chenle seriously seemed like he would work himself to death.
You never really fully processed what him being passionate about his future would mean for you, and how it would affect your relationship and friendship with him. You didn’t even know that he applied to universities at all (since he didn’t tell you and you were kind of oblivious, to be honest), let alone which ones he strived for.
Fast forward to the present, it was currently the middle of November and school was going full swing, your senior year of high school passing by like a breeze. You were currently hanging out with Donghyuck, who was in town for the weekend from his university in the next city over. It was always nice to see him, his presence always putting a smile on your face.
You both sat at a window seat in the middle of a fairly busy restaurant, joking with each other and picking at your food lightly as you conversed. It grew silent for a moment, your chuckles dying down from some stupid attempt at a joke by Hyuck, before he broke it.
“Did you hear that Chenle got into Harvard?” Donghyuck absentmindedly spoke quietly, picking at the salad seated in front of him on the restaurant table. “Full fucking ride.” He didn’t even look up to meet your now bulging eyes.
Your blood ran ice cold as your heart began to seemingly stop beating, freezing just like your veins.
“He what?” you practically screeched, causing the boy across from you to jump slightly.
Hyuck looked at you then, his cheeks filled with food as he grasped his chest dramatically.
“Uh yeah?” he replied like it was obvious. “He’s really passionate about his career choice, you know.”
“Of course I know!” you shrieked at him, your hands going up to pull at your hair exasperatedly. You chewed your lip, your heart pounding and squeezing in your chest at the notion of Chenle’s inevitable departure from your life. “What, you think I wouldn’t know that the boy I’ve known since I was a LITERAL CHILD, isn’t passionate about his future?!”
Donghyuck was now looking around the both of you, taking notice of the strangers who were now staring at your visibly panicked form.
“Y/N, calm down, please–“
“I’m calm! I’m perfectly fine! ahah,” you chewed on your nails frantically as you tried to quiet your mouth and your mind, your leg shaking nonstop under the table, causing the silverware to shake.
You distracted yourself by looking out the window to your immediate left, trying to watch the people walk by like it was some sort of therapy for your bustling thoughts.
“Why didn’t he tell us he was applying to–“ you cut yourself off quietly, stopping your question short. ”...How does he know already?” you asked, your voice small.
“Early action or some shit, I guess.”
It was quiet for a few minutes between you both; Hyuck continued to munch on his salad and you could feel his eye warily watching you as you chewed your nails to nubs.
“...Are you okay?” he finally questioned, his voice comforting as he pulled you from out of your own head.
“Just,” you bit your lip, your eyes spaced out as you stared down at the floor. “Why couldn’t he have picked a school around here?” Your voice was small and quiet, and you could hear the boy across from you sigh. “Why couldn’t he just do that, like you?”
He didn’t really say anything then, picking up the fact that those were most definitely rhetorical questions. You didn’t touch any more of your food, your stomach tied up in knots, making you feel sick.
“Y/N...”
You didn’t look at him, your face hot with embarrassment from how much pain your heart was actually feeling at the news that Chenle, the boy you have loved for years, would be leaving you.
“He’s really excited about this...you…” he trailed off, trying to pick his next words carefully. “You need to show him some support, even though I know it hurts you.”
You knew that deep down, Hyuck was absolutely right. What kind of friend would you be if you were selfish and kept yourself wrapped up in your own feelings? You sniffled and picked your head back up, finally looking at him.
“You’re right. you are absolutely right.” you finally breathed out, trying to slowly calm your aching anxiety. “Just like always, Hyuck.” You cracked a slight smile then, and he returned it, seeming relieved that you snapped out of your panic, even if it was just a little bit.
“At least you can acknowledge it, angel.” He sent you a wink along with the pet name, and you jokingly gagged, which caused the both of you to laugh.
With the mood seemingly lifted, you were able to enjoy the rest of your time with Donghyuck, even if the anxiety of Chenle leaving was still a heavy presence in the back of your reeling mind.
——
That same night, you laid yourself across your pillows and stared up at the ceiling, not even bothering to change out of your slightly uncomfortable jeans. The lights were on and all was quiet as you laid trapped in your own thoughts, the inevitable scene of your crush of many, many years leaving replaying on loop inside your head.
You tried to distract yourself by working on some miscellaneous homework assignments, trying to get your work done as quickly and efficiently as possible.
You were just getting in the flow of writing a rough draft for an essay when you heard your mother yell up the steps at you.
“Y/N!” she called, startling you. when you replied with a ‘Yeah?’ she continued, “Chenle is here, I’m sending him up!”
Your heart jumped and you quickly shot up from your bed, trying to get rid of any clothes strewn around your floor to at least make your room somewhat presentable. As you slammed the hamper lid shut, you heard a small knock on the door before Chenle let himself in, already beaming at you.
“Y/N, I have some awesome news!” he immediately spoke, shutting the door behind him. You will yourself not to let your heart sink, already knowing what he wanted to share with you he reached behind him to grab his book bag, and once it was in his grasp he set it on the floor, taking a seat beside you on your bed.
You tried not to let your heart race as his shoulder brushed against yours, and you tried to convert up your nerves by giving him a smile in return. Chenle rummaged through his back before angrily grunting, turning to face you.
“I left something at home that I wanted to show you, shit,” he murmured, his hand coming up to swipe over his face. “I can go grab it real quick–“
“Let’s just go to your room, it’s literally right across. We can climb,” you suggested, wanting to escape the suffocating warmth of your own bedroom. Plus, you were always more comfortable sitting on his mattress anyway. “It’ll be fun, like when we were younger.”
You two both grinned at each other then, Chenle nodding his head in compliance as you both stood, preparing yourselves for the leap out of your bedroom window.
You didn’t bother with a jacket; you were only going to be out in the cold for about five minutes tops, anyway. You allowed him to go first, his body jumping out and landing on the roof of your shed with ease. You quickly followed suit, landing a little rough but still in one piece, nonetheless.
He generously offered to prop you up first so you could skillfully open his window from the outside, which you gladly accepted with a smirk on your lips.
“You’re the best at it.” he replied, slightly whining at your smug reaction. “Always have been. For some reason I can never get it open!!”
You ignored him after that, focusing on keeping your balance on his shoulders while you lifted the window open, pulling yourself up on the sill and throwing yourself inside with a dull thud. You heard the scrapings of Chenle making his way up the side of his house, and he toppled in not long after you.
“I’m definitely never doing that again,” he panted, laying flat on his back on the floor for a few moments. You stared back at him from his bed, giggling at his heavily rising and falling chest. “Maybe not never...but not again anytime soon, that’s for sure.”
He managed to pull himself up from the carpet, dusting off his pants and shrugging off his coat before joining you on the bed. He pulled a piece of paper from his nightstand, and your heart began to pound with untamed anxiety.
“This,” he started, his eyes sparkling as he looked at the piece of paper before looking back at you. “is my acceptance letter to Harvard. I got in, Y/N!!!”
Chenle was so excited, and you couldn’t help but swoon at the absolute elation in his eyes as he went on about what he was accepted for and even what the letter said.
You, of course, didn’t tell him that you already knew, courtesy of Donghyuck. If you would have known that Chenle applied to Harvard, you would have had no doubts from the very beginning that he would get in.
Maybe he didn’t tell anyone just in case he wasn’t accepted, and if no one knew then there would be no one to disappoint.
You knew that no matter what, you could never ever be disappointed in Chenle. He was too smart and too good to ever be thought of in that way.
All you could do was smile and smile some more as he went on, barely breathing before he finally took a short pause. His eyes fell down to look at his denim covered legs, and he bit his lip as you watched him in the sudden quiet of his room.
It didn’t last very long, and he took a deep breath before breaking the short silence.
“They want me to fly out there as soon as possible,” he finally spoke, looking up at you from where his gaze was previously on his lap. “I talked to our school, and they’re willing to let me graduate early. I have all my credits, which is really cool.”
Chenle seemed excited, but he spoke softly, as if he knew how hard this news was for you to hear. You surprised yourself at how composed you were acting, despite the jabbing pain you felt in your heart with every word that passed through his lips.
“That’s great,” you commented, a tight smile lining your face, your voice so close to breaking. “When do you leave?”
A question you didn’t really want the answer to. You didn’t want him to leave at all, and gaining the knowledge of a deadline wouldn’t ease your aching heart any.
He shuffled on the bed, pulling his legs up to sit fully on the mattress facing you. He clasped his hands together and sighed, his bleached blonde hair falling into his eyes.
“The end of December, right before new years,” he chewed on the inside of his cheek, his eyes trying to gauge your reaction, even though you weren’t really giving him anything to work with.
That was really soon…
“Wait, but that’s before our semester ends—“
“I know.” he cut you off, smiling brightly. “Like I said, the school is alright with this all happening. They’re really happy for me.”
You sighed, nodding in understanding. It was silent for a moment once more between the two of you; only the sounds of distant cars driving down the otherwise quiet street could be heard for a few moments.
“I just want you to know that I’m really happy for you too, Chenle.” you softly spoke, your hand reaching out to boldly cover his own sitting on the bed in front of you. He stared down at your now touching fingers, but didn’t move to pull away from your warmth.
“Thank you,” he smiled, surprising you by taking your hand in his own and squeezing it, taking your contact with each other a step further. “It means a lot coming from you.”
“Does my approval matter to you?” you questioned, not able to keep it from slipping past your lips. His eyebrows quirked up and he tilted his head a little, looking away briefly before making eye contact once again.
“Yeah, I guess it does.” he replied. “I never really thought about it before, but now that you brought it up...it really does, so thank you.”
You stared at each other then, your lips parted and dry, your brain not sure what to say to him in response. Your heart was hammering in your chest and your ears were consumed with the rhythmic beating and blood rushing happening within your own body.
His brown eyes and dyed blonde hair captivated you and your tongue felt like sandpaper inside your mouth. he looked like he was fighting with himself in a way; restricting his body from moving closer to your own as you sat there in the silence of his room. Your body seemed to mechanically move on its own as it scooted closer to him, your fingers tightening around his as you situated yourself against his body, your face now just next to his. His eyes flicked down to your lips before moving back to your wide eyes, and you felt your stomach jump in anticipation.
Before either of you could do anything, a loud bang came from outside of his bedroom door, followed by a yell from his mother.
You sprung away from each other and you immediately shot up from his bed, already sprinting to his open window from which you came in from. Chenle stood as well, looking between you and the locked door that held his mother back.
“I’ll see you at school.” you hurriedly whispered, taking one more glance at his red cheeks before leaping out the window and down onto the grass below.
You climbed your way up to your own open bedroom window, using the shed and throwing yourself inside quickly before shutting it and closing the curtains. Once you were sure everything was locked and the lights were all off, you slammed yourself down onto your mattress, shoved your face into your pillows, and screamed.
——
“Can we go for a walk around the neighborhood? I want to see all the Christmas lights before people start taking them down.” Chenle spoke through the speaker on your phone, his face not in view on the screen as you FaceTimed each other. You heard shuffling on his end as you focused your attention on your laptop screen, mindlessly shopping online for random things to keep your mind off of the fact that Chenle was leaving in just three days.
The few weeks you had with him passed by like a blur, and you both tried to spend as much time together as possible. Between having to spend time with your family and other friends, it wasn’t as much as you would have liked it to have been.
“Yeah, sure.” you mumbled, closing the laptop on your bed with a soft clack. “Meet you outside in fifteen?”
“Make it ten.” he replied with a smile in his voice, before hanging up.
You sighed heavily before putting your coat on, bundling yourself up for the bite of the cold outside. It was bitterly freezing, and you knew without your whole winter ensemble that you wouldn’t be able to feel your fingers within two seconds flat of being out there.
Fumbling with the buttons and zipper on your coat, you managed to make it outside in seven minutes even, meeting him on the sidewalk just down your driveway.
“Wow, not late for once.” he commented, nudging your shoulder as the two of your began to walk in sync down your brightly lit street.
“Knock it off, I can be on time when I try hard enough.” You rolled your eyes playfully at him, a hint of a smile gracing your lips as you began to take in the beautiful lights around you.
Christmas truly was a beautiful time of year; not just for the holiday itself, because not everyone celebrated it obviously, but for the decorations and the sense of home and warmth.
Chenle and yourself both kept relatively quiet as you walked on, only making noise when you wanted to get each other’s attention to point out certain decorations on some houses. It was rather peaceful, and your heart was swelling with warmth in adoration as you looked to admire his face, which was illuminated by the colorful Christmas lights surrounding you.
Your stomach jolted slightly. This may be the last time you see him for a while. You didn’t mean for the intrusive thought of his absence to wiggle its way into your mind, but it was too late to fight it off.
‘I should just confess’, you thought, now nervously picking at your nails, and chewing your lip to bits. ‘There may not be another chance like this, not for a while.’
It was selfish...but it was now or never.
Too shy to actually confess your feelings first—and thinking back to certain moments that you’ve shared with Chenle to come to this conclusion—you decided to take a different approach.
Get him to confess first.
“I need to ask you something,” you blurted out, your brain scolding your mouth silently for being so goddamn reckless in a moment of weakness.
Maybe this was a bad idea...
Chenle quirked his eyebrow up at you before stopping, turning to face you entirely.
“What’s up?” he replied, his hands stuffed deeply in his pockets in a desperate attempt to keep them warm. His nose was red from the chill in the air and his lips were the same shade from him biting them, the sheen of his chapstick almost completely gone now. His eyes were glassy from the wind blowing and even though his cheeks were blotched in crimson, you thought this was the most beautiful he had ever looked.
You couldn’t do this. Fuck, you really couldn’t do this. Why did you have to open your big, stupid mouth—
“Hey Y/N? Are you in there?” he suddenly broke you from your own thoughts, causing you to jump a little in your boots. “What did you wanna ask me?”
“Uh,” Quick, think of something dumb! “You know, why is perfume so damn expensive?”
You wanted to throw yourself into a frozen lake at this point, as you watched his brow furrow in confusion.
“Uhm, I don’t know,” he bit his lip for about the hundredth time since you started your walk. “Ingredients maybe? Higher end perfumes probably have stuff in them that are more hard to come by, so that’s probably wh—“
“Do you like me?” you interrupted him loudly, squeezing your eyes shut as you practically belted out your original question.
He seemingly froze in front of you, and definitely not from the cold air whipping around your bodies as the wind harshly blew.
“Do I...like you.” he repeated back, formed as a statement more than a question. “Like...as in romantically?”
You didn’t even have to nod for him to know what you meant; the look in your eyes told him enough. The pleading, glassy look as hope swirled beneath your irises, just absolutely begging him to say that yes, he did like you in the way that you liked him.
“Yes,” you confirmed audibly anyway, heat flickering throughout your entire face. “You know, b-because I think before we almost kissed in your room that one time not too long ago, and we’ve been more touchy lately—“ you would have continued on your panicked rambling if he hadn’t cut you off, beginning to speak solemnly.
“Y/N...I..” he started, shaking his head as he tried to get his thoughts straight. “I do. I really do,” your heart jumped at his confession, and you allowed it to spread in your body like wildfire. It didn’t get very far, because he continued to speak. “but I...I can’t.”
You visibly deflated; your heart shattered like glass and everything colorful around you seemed to fade into a greyscale, the holiday lights surrounding the two of you no longer sparking any kind of joy. “This scholarship...my future...it’s important to me. I can’t let anything stop me, I’m so sorry…”
“Chenle...” you whimpered, stepping closer to him boldly, unsure of how to properly express your feelings to him at this point. You dared to breach his personal space, and he watched your every move with those same, glossy brown eyes that you adored every day for so many years.
You tilted your head, your lips ghosting over his own as he let out shaky breaths, yours matching his as you stood together in the cold.
His lips were right there. unmoving, as he didn’t pull away from you. If your leaned forward just a little more...almost….almostalmostalmost—so close—
“Y/N, stop.” he suddenly muttered, pulling you out of your trance. His head drew back as he stepped away, still in your reach but far enough to where your lips weren’t brushing against each other’s anymore.
You gritted your teeth at the rejected feeling that bubbles up inside you, the tears welling your eyes before spilling hotly down your frozen cheeks.
“I love you, Chenle.” you cried, gripping the rough material of his jean jacket. The darkness of the night could have hidden your tears if it weren’t for the moonlight blaring down on the two of you like a spotlight. “Please, I love you.”
He looked like he was trying to hold himself together, his lips set in a straight line as he looked away from you, his hands hovering over your wrists. Chenle gripped them suddenly, not hard, but with enough force to get you to pay attention.
“I love you too, Y/N.” he finally admitted, his voice quiet as he tried to restrain his emotions. “But I can’t pass this up. I just can’t.”
You should have forced yourself to understand. This was his life, for fucks sake. You shouldn’t have let yourself feel selfish, thinking that he would drop everything to stay here. With you.
“We can’t be together. I’m sorry.” he finished with that, slowly dropping your wrists from his hold. “If I…” he swallowed thickly. “If I let you kiss me, I know I wouldn’t be able to leave. I know it.”
He took in your figure at last, watching as your tears fell freely from your eyes in hot rivers down your already stained cheeks.
“Look, maybe someday this would work...but just, not now.” he sounded exasperated, running a hand through his hair. “Your life is here, and my life will be starting there. I’ll be busy constantly and it just...won’t be fair. It really won’t, you have to understand, Y/N.”
He watched as your hands shook when you lifted them to wipe your face, solemnly nodding in acknowledgement to his words.
“Okay.” you croaked, not meeting his eyes as you turned to walk away, leaving him in the middle of the park you used to play at when you were kids.
You weren’t going to put up a fight. You weren’t going to plead with him anymore. You were going to try your absolute hardest to stop yourself from being selfish in that way.
You were just going to have to live with that fact that you couldn’t have him right now. That you almost could have had him.
Almost.
——
Chenle faded out of your life like he wasn’t even present in the first place. You barely heard from him after he left; there would be miscellaneous texts here and there but overall, he was right in the end. He was really always busy.
His school workload was heavy, and you were aware of that, but a selfish part of you always seemed to get angry at him for not responding to you.
The worst part was not knowing whether he wanted to reach out to you at all.
He didn’t come home during summer break, which broke your heart a little bit. Donghyuck tried his best to be there for you as you went through the motions; you were constantly miserable at the reality that you most likely would never call Chenle your own.
Chenle didn’t keep in contact much with Hyuck or Jisung either, seemingly leaving you all in the dust as he went about his new life away from you. His parents talked to him all the time obviously, and your own mother would dawdle on about something that Chenle achieved at school to you, but you’ve come to pretty much ignore everything that had to do with him.
You went about getting your own education, passing your classes by the skin of your teeth during the first semester and then producing the same results during the semester after that.
You really couldn’t blame yourself for feeling so utterly heartbroken; you were in love with that boy for most of your life, and for him to suddenly rip himself away from you like that was wholeheartedly agonizing.
Chenle rarely ever came home; he did briefly for Christmas, but then hurriedly left immediately after, not even staying for the full duration of his break.
You actually ran into him by accident one day while he was still home, but you didn’t stay in his presence very long before wanting to go to the safety of your bedroom and cry.
“Did you even miss me?” you whimpered out, exhausted after your small talk had turned into a bit of an argument. He sighed heavily, frustrated no doubt. you could hear it in his voice as he spoke to you.
“What do you want me say, Y/N?” he countered, scoffing at you as you held back the pain you felt burning behind your eyes, desperate to cry. “I haven’t even had the time to miss anyone, let alone you.”
You stood in silence for a moment, baffled at his dismissive attitude of it all. It’s like he didn’t even remember that he told you he liked you too all those months ago.
“You...” your voice cracked a little, and you looked away from him. “Did you even try, Chenle? Did you even try to find the time to talk to me?”
He didn’t say anything back, only staring at you before tearing his eyes away, his jaw locked. You felt as if you already knew the answer.
You turned to leave, but felt his hand immediately circle around your arm, roughly pulling you back to face him. Taking one look at his face, you knew he was angry.
“Do you know how much it hurt, Y/N?” he barked out, making you flinch back slightly. “Do you know how much it hurt to leave you? I–“ he cut himself off as his voice cracked, turning his head away and swallowing heavily before continuing. “I wanted to, so bad Y/N. You have no idea.”
Your lips parted in shock, and you had a million things you wanted to say, but you managed to keep it all inside as he went on.
“But I had to control myself. I already came to terms with the fact that this,” he gestured between the two of you, “wasn't going to ever work out. I figured that out a long time ago... I had to distance myself from you, I’m sorry.”
You really didn’t want to accept that apology. You really really didn’t. Your anger was swirling inside you, a typhoon of emotions building and building as you stared back into his now cold brown eyes. To you, they used to be so full of warmth and friendliness, and now they looked distant and unentertained, like he didn’t want to be here in the first place.
That hurt like a bitch.
You scoffed at him, making his eyebrows raise in confusion before they furrowed, his eyes narrowed at you.
Yeah, you were probably being a bitch for not accepting his apology, and all of this was turning out to be super petty, but you felt like he deserved it just a little bit.
Deep down you knew he had a point; his reasoning was valid and it all made sense, but when did having feelings for someone like you had for him ever lead to rational decision making?
“You know, Chenle,” you started, shoving your hands in your pockets roughly to shield them from the cold. “I really thought that we could still be friends after all the bullshit, I really did.” He watched you carefully as you practically spat forth those words, venom dripping in your tone. “But then you went and messed it all up.”
You probably shouldn’t have added that last part; playing the blame game never worked in anyone’s favor in the end, but your emotions once again got the best of you.
Smoke practically blew out his ears as his mouth parted in shock. Your heart dropped when you heard the sound of sarcastic laughter falling out of his mouth, knowing full well that you fucked up this time.
“I messed it up? Me??” He was pointing to his own chest for emphasis, and you had the audacity to give him a quick nod. “Ahah, wow Y/N, that’s really rich coming from you.”
You didn’t even have a second to get a word in before he crowded your space, so close that your chests were touching. You drew in a sharp breath, not sure what in the hell he was doing right now.
“You were the one that was practically begging me to kiss you that night, remember? You were trying so hard,” he spat, so close to your face now that you couldn’t even feel the cold nipping at your cheeks anymore (whether it be from the embarrassment lacing through your veins or the extensive heat from his body, you weren’t sure).
You couldn’t think of anything to say in response; all you knew was that he was dishing out pretty low blows, and each word was like a knife being plunged into your chest.
“Like, how desperate are you?” he added in, now moving his hands to grip your waist, making you squeak in surprise. “You want a kiss so bad? Get fucking ready.”
You weren’t sure what he meant and your brain was having such a hard time comprehending anything going on in that moment, the pressure of his hands gripping your waist making all thoughts fly out of your head besides one.
Him.
“Wait, Chenle–“ you placed a hand on his chest to try to push him away, unsure of how you felt about this situation.
“What, you don’t want it now?” his voice was borderline malicious as he spoke to you now, making you feel incredibly small and vulnerable under his gaze.
“No I–“
“You come to me and give me all that bullshit, and now when I’m trying to give you something that you wanted,” his grip grew tighter. “you don’t want it anymore? Make up your damn mind, Y/N.”
You did want it. There was still a huge part of you that screamed at you to just let it happen, but you knew it would be wrong. So fucking wrong. He wasn’t doing this because he wanted to; he was doing this because he wanted all this to end right here.
You were scared. He was scaring you with the way he was acting right now.
“Chenle, please—“
“Just shut up.”
Chenle didn’t allow you to get another word in before he crashed his lips against yours, roughly pressing his against your own so abruptly that you felt your teeth pierce the inside of yours. You tasted blood, but it wasn’t the first thing on your mind at the moment; Chenle moved his mouth against yours aggressively and without any emotion besides anger behind it, and you absolutely hated it.
Sure, it felt nice to finally get what you wanted, but in a way, you definitely were not. This isn’t what you wanted at all. You wanted to love him and you wanted him to love you...and you wanted it to feel nice.
His hands slid down to your hips and your stomach jumped in surprise as you tried desperately to match his pace to at least kiss him back a little bit. It didn’t last long, and with a strong push on your hips he effectively pulled away, your body stumbling back from the force of his shove.
His lips were red and puffy and his eyes were dark as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, panting slightly. You probably looked somewhat the same, but didn’t even move from where you stood as he stared at you. You felt your eyes become glassy from staring into space too long, and you felt your hands shake, but most definitely not from the cold.
“There’s your fucking kiss.” He finally said, taking two steps back. “Goodbye, Y/N.”
You didn’t even watch him walk back into his house. You ran as fast as you could back into your own home and immediately slammed the front door shut behind you, darting up the stairs without a single word.
You barged into your bedroom and without even removing your winter garments, you threw yourself down onto your mattress for what seemed like the millionth time in the last year, and began to sob.
——
Chenle’s parents said that he had commitments at the school, some sort of research or whatever, and that’s why he couldn’t stay home long. At the time, all you really thought was ‘good riddance’, but you knew that your heart would be back to obsessing over him in no time, even after what had happened between the two of you on the day you try so hard not to remember.
Well, at least he was flourishing at school.
When Donghyuck found out what had happened between you and Chenle during the time he was home from university, he was ready to kill someone. That someone being Chenle.
“He did what to you?!” Donghyuck screamed over the phone, causing you to pull it from your ear from the sheer volume of his screeching. “I’ll kill him, Y/N. I swear I’ll fucking kill that kid.”
“No need, Hyuckie. It’s not that big of a deal.” you replied somberly, sighing as you relaxed on your mattress against your pillows.
“Not a big deal??? Angel, he basically forced that shit on you,” Hyuck was speaking softly to you now, a stark contrast to his yelling from a few moments prior. “You should be furious at him. You need to tell someone—“
“I’m not mad,” you replied quietly, chewing on your bottom lip. “A part of me wanted that to happen, Hyuck. It just…” your voice trailed off, your brain trying to think of the right words to say. “Wasn’t what I was expecting, is all.”
The line was quiet and you weren’t sure what to say next, and Donghyuck must have felt the same. It was a really fucked up situation, you had to admit.
“I think I…” your voice sounded broken, but you continued. “I think I still love him.” The words came out as a whisper and they surprised even yourself, not expecting to admit such a thing after all that has happened.
“Oh, angel…” was all Donghyuck replied with before you quickly made up some lame excuse to hang up the call with him. You hurriedly pressed the ‘end call’ button and threw yourself back on the bed, spacing out once again just like you always do.
You managed to bear with not seeing or talking to Chenle after the incident (a huge part of you didn’t want to, after hearing what he had to say and also what he did during Christmas break), but when you stumbled across a post of his one night a couple months after while scrolling through Instagram, it had your heart shattering completely.
“What the fuck,” you whimpered, already struggling to hold back tears as your watery eyes stared daggers at the photo displayed on your screen. “What. The. Fuck?” you said it louder this time, with more malice, and you threw your phone across your bed to get it away from you.
Chenle had posted a photo of himself and another girl, kissing each other while snow fell in some random park you didn’t give a fuck about. He found someone else. He fell for someone else.
The hypocrisy.....he didn’t want to be with you because he wanted to focus on school, but then he goes and starts up a relationship with someone else anyway?
Maybe he did it to spite you.
At first, you felt pathetic for crying about it. You tried to muffle your cries in your pillow, holding back the ugly sobs that you so desperately wanted to let out. You silently cried, your heart aching and your lungs gasping for air as you fought the pain in the dark pit inside your chest.
You began to grow angry after a while, your thoughts spinning wildly out of control as your chest heaved, your nails digging into your sheets to keep yourself from clawing at your own burning throat.
You screamed.
You screamed and screamed and cried until there was nothing left inside you. You needed to let out the festering hatred you had grown for him since he left over a year ago. It was ugly and it was cacophonous, but you didn’t care anymore.
Your parents were luckily out, and you didn’t give a fuck about your neighbors. You poured out every raw emotion you felt until you sensed yourself beginning to calm; your chest no longer rose and fell like you had been running a marathon, your heartbeat quieted to a low thrum in your ears instead of a pounding drum, and your muscles relaxed, allowing you to lie down flat against your mattress.
Your pillow was soaked through with tears and your head was thumping, like your brain was smashing a baseball bat to the inside of your skull. You breathed in, five long seconds, and breathed out, seven seconds more, before bathing in the quiet of your room.
Your phoned buzzed from the end of your bed, and you hesitantly picked your head up, sliding to sit and reach for it tentatively.
It was a text message.
From: donghyuckie :P
hey, saw chenle’s post. ice cream in 20? I’ll pick you up
You smiled, surprising yourself entirely, as if you weren’t just screaming your head off just five minutes ago. You were incredibly happy to have such a good friend in your life, immediately knowing what you needed when you needed it. You were quick to reply.
To: donghyuckie :P
sounds good, I’ll see you then :)
You smiled again, and didn’t stop the whole night, Donghyuck's presence always comforting and joyful.
You would be okay, you knew you would. All you had to do was just live your own life, forget about Chenle, and be happy...always with a smile.
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