#anyways if this does bad this doesn't exist xoxo

[inkluvs]

Ribs

Brush - w/ Steve, plus

sleepy girl

hii my dear kristen i hope u like this it's very munch self indulgent LMAO <3 tw: pet names ; just general sadness ; he calls r 'girl' once (0.4k)

steve harrington x fem! reader

summer celly // masterlist // taglist

You’re tired, exhausted even, and you bet everything you have that you look it too, your hair rumpled and knotted from a few days of neglect and your eyes sunken. You’d fix it if you had the energy but right now all you can think about is how good laying back down would be. How nice it’d feel to sit back down and ignore the sandpaper-like feeling at the base of your throat as you wonder when the last time you had had water was. 

Steve’s worried about you, he always is, holding you close to him when your chest aches and you can’t figure out what’s wrong and rubbing your back when quiet sniffs turn into shaky sobs. He’d wash your hair as you leaned your head back into the sink, too drained and burnt out to do the same yourself. You’d never quite let him touch your hair though, worries about it being too high maintenance plaguing your conscience. 

You’d never thought about it, at least until he offered. His hand is steady against your neck, warmth seeping into your joints as he holds you close. His thumb slips into your hair and you wince, unnoticeable to anybody but Steve.

“That hurt?” He murmurs, pulling his thumb from the strands gently.

You nod. “Haven’t gotten around to doin’ it yet, sorry”

“There’s no need to apologize, honey.” His hands move down to your shoulders, squeezing lightly, “Can I try? To do it I mean.”

You ponder the idea for a minute before replying. “If it isn’t too much work.”

“It’s never too much work,” he insists, and with that he leads you into the bathroom, grabbing you a chair before leaning your head back over the sink. His motions were practiced to perfection, warm water running against your scalp as he eased a brush through a knot, whispering apologies when you winced.

“Tell me if you wanna stop ‘kay?”

You nod.

Steve turns the tap off soon, draping a towel over your shoulders as he takes the wet strands into his palm, “‘s a braid okay?”

“Whatever you want.” You mumble, inklings of fatigue making its way into your voice.

“Sleepy girl,” he whispers, throat filled with honey-like affection, “I’ll finish this and then we’ll nap, that sound okay?” You hum and lean back into his hands, succumbing to sleep a few moments later.

He drops a kiss on your forehead as he tucks you in. “You’re so pretty.”

You smile.

[unangelic-thoughts]

Imagine this: jealous! rafe when you’re ward's personal assistant

[A few notes: 1. Rose doesn't exist in this AU. 2. This is a really rough draft, literally just wrote it and posted it so haven't had a chance to proof read it but I was honestly so desperate that I just had to write somethinggg 3. I hope you can pleasurably indulge in the same way I just did imagining this? :)) <33 love y'all with the same filthy minds as mine)] *spoiler alert* you fuck them both xoxo

you've been spending a lot of time with ward, working from the office and his home since you got the job as his personal assistant nine months ago

he's always made it clear that you're welcome to help yourself with anything in the kitchen or have a dip in the pool

one hot day you decide to take advantage of that and bring your swimsuit to his house

after finishing up on important but boring paperwork, you ask if you can take a dip and ward is more than happy about it

you swim as he sits at the edge of the lounger, talking to you about the new partnership deal he's working on

you notice the way his eyes flick down to your breasts, it makes you feel good, he's a handsome man after all

you plead with him to join you in the water, but he declines despite the evident want in his eyes so you splash him, egging him on

the glass doors swing open and out comes rafe, his arm around a pretty girl's shoulders

he's surprised to see you, especially with so much of skin on show and with his dad right there as if this is a completely normal and professional occurence

but then again, since when has his dad ever cared about professionalism anyway?

he only looks at you once, making a point to not let his eyes wander to you again

you watch as him and his dad make small talk and then him and his girlfriend(?) are gone

unbeknownst to you, rafe heads to his room and peeks at you through his blinds

he watches as you step out of the pool, water dripping down your breasts and thighs, it gets him real hard

that is until ward wraps a towel around you, his fingers caressing your shoulder and all rafe wants to do is yell at him to not touch you

you can feel someone's stare but as you look up to where you think it's coming from, he swiftly steps away and walks up to the girl he brought home, eva, and kisses her fiercely - wanting to block out any thoughts of you

at the company event, a week later, he doesn't fail to notice his dad's hand on your lower back or the way he leans a bit too close to you when you talk

it infuriates him every time you direct that sweet smile of yours towards ward. that should only be for him, no one else and especially not his dad

he corners you later that night as you walk out of the bathroom stall

it takes you by surprise, his broad chest right up against you as he looks down at you

"you should be more careful" he says

"careful?" you frown in confusion

"of my dad. he's not a good man" his hands rest on his hips

you stare up at him with doe eyes, a chuckle escaping your lips "oh really?"

"he's dangerous. a pretty, innocent girl like you shoudn't be getting involved with men like him" rafe looks you up and down, taking in the shortness of your dress

"and what type of men do you think I should be involved with?" you ask, a smirk on your lips

he raises an eyebrow as if to say 'isn't it obvious?'

at that, you laugh and roll your eyes

"you know, people would say that you're the dangerous one" you state honestly

his right hand reaches up to stroke your cheek "not with you. i would protect you from anything bad"

"that's really sweet of you" you say sarcastically

"but i don't need protecting" you shove him and walk past him to join the others outside

unfortunately for rafe, seeing him so jealous of you and his dad only makes you want to provoke him further

so you do what any other innocent girl would do

you get his dad to fuck you on rafe's bed just as he comes home from his late night gym session

ward is ecstatic about it, because 1) he's wanted to shove his cock inside you from the moment he saw you in that tiny bikini and 2) he knows that him and rafe have grown apart and what better way to bond than getting to share the same hole?

you're on all fours, your hands fisting rafe's fresh bed sheets as ward pounds you from behind

rafe walks in and as soon as his gaze lands on the two of you, he drops his gym bag on the floor with a thud

you and ward both turn to look at him, continuing to fuck as if there's been no interruption at all

rafe is absolutely seething with anger "what.the.actual.fuck?" he asks through clenched teeth

"hey son! are you joining in?" ward asks in the same way he would ask him if he wanted to play golf

"a-are you fucking kidding me right now?" his hands are fisted into balls. if this were a cartoon, he'd have smoke coming off his head

"i'm really not. as the saying goes, sharing is caring. what's mine is yours, son" his dad replies with a sweet smile on his lips

rafe's cold gaze turns to you then "and you're okay with this?"

you nod innocently at the same time as ward says "it was her idea in the first place"

rafe stands by his door in shock but you're staring to lose your patience

"rafey, baby, can i please have your cock? please?" you plead just as ward hits your sweet spot and you gasp in pleasure

he fucks you harder as you stare into rafe's blown pupils before involuntarily shutting your eyes, feeling yourself reaching closer to your orgasm

a moment later rafe's ripped all of his clothes off and lays on his back on the bed next to you

you open your eyes when he forcefully grabs your arm so that you're now straddling his lap, causing his dad's cock to slip out of you

you don't get to miss the sensation for long however, because rafe brutally shoves his girthy shaft inside your swollen pussy

your hands go onto his chest to steady yourself, feeling his defined pectorals

ward spits on your ass and slowly buries his dick inside your second hole

it makes you want to scream, but you bite down hard on your lower lip

they thrust into you in unison, you have never felt this full, never felt this kind of bliss

rafe takes your tits in his hands, then brings each nipple in his mouth, sucking and licking them with his tongue

you're so close, so so close

tears fall down your face at the overwhelming sensations in your body caused by the two men

rafe notices, looking concerned and asks if you're okay as his hands cup your face

you nod, "just keep fucking me, please. don't stop"

relief washes over his face and he kisses you deeply but softly, a complete contrast to how he's splitting you open

you kiss him back, your tongues dancing together

ward places two digits on your clit, it makes you whimper in rafe's mouth

and as they both frantically slam into you with their hands all over your body, you come completely undone

your body convulses between them and your legs begin to tremble

you're soon overstimulated by it all but they keep going

they thrust in and out, in and out, as you squirm, completely trapped between their two bodies

before you can register any of it, warm cum fills up both of your holes at the same time

they grunt in unison and you ponder at how similar father and son really are

[skrunksthatwunk]

ok so. kiwami 2. rooftop scene. the ending. it's a bit of a clusterfuck but i wanna talk about one detail, a problem they bring to your attention by Fucking. Talking About Her.

haruka is watching all of this unfold.

[this post is like 4.5k words long + pretty critical + has spoilers for kiwami and kiwami 2, and really minor/vague ones for a couple others. they're not that bad though, trust me (and i added a warning in the one place it is major)]

ALSO CONTENT WARNING i'm gonna talk about kiryu's passive suicidality a good amount in this one, so stay away from this if you think that might affect you negatively/you'd be better off skipping it. i'll also make a tl;dr (which i will highlight in red) at the very end if you really wanna know what my point is that will exclude those elements <3. i am also going to use a lot of choice-based language in regards to kiryu's contemplation of suicide because i think it's the lens through which the games treat the topic, but i personally don't find it a productive or realistic way to look at suicide or suicidal ideation at all. someone dying by suicide absolutely does not mean they don't care about their loved ones enough to fight on or whatever. i love you, and proceed with caution on this one.

(also i'm using the kiwamis as my point of reference because i uh. don't have a ps2? those are the games that i played, and though the differences are likely slight, i wanna be clear about that. also,, ignore the watermark on these screenshots,, i didn't notice them and i'm not retaking them. we're all gonna have to settle for youtube cutscene comps for now xoxo)

first, we have to talk about the ending of the first game.

[note: i am Really Really Confident kiryu has a conversation earlier in the game about his going to jail in nishiki's stead being him running away and choosing not to resist his two options (go to jail or let nishiki go to jail) and define his own path, fighting his way against fate to make it happen. part of why i'm so confident it exists is because it made such an impression on me at the time. it's pretty important to my interpretation of things but i also can't find it for the life of me, so uh. sorry ✌️ i really tried. this post's takes/analysis will be dependent on this scene existing, so keep that in mind. if anyone knows where to find the scene/screenshots of it, lmk and i'll add a follow-up with it]

kiwami stuff

so as she's dying, yumi tells haruka this:

that she may be dying (painfully, and right as she's getting everything she wanted), but she doesn't regret it, because at least she did something rather than running away from it all. that you shouldn't run away, ever.

shortly thereafter, when the police find kiryu and haruka, this exchange happens between him and date. here's the play by play:

date tells kiryu he can get him out of trouble with this, and that if he doesn't, he'll get life in prison; kiryu declines his help:

kiryu is so devastated (understandably) by the back to back losses of the three people closest to him that he resigns himself to life in prison, and the death-in-effect that would be. he would prefer to waste away rather than struggle through a life without them. prison was monotonous and isolating, but coming back after a decade was overwhelming, and coming back to everything being so warped and twisted, and then losing the corrupted scraps he had anyway, well. he wants to go back to sleep. he doesn't want to be in a world where everything's the same except he's on his own. better to return to safety, to die slowly in a hell he knows well than weather a new one where he has control and agency, and thus one where he has the ability to fail and to lose anything at any time. he explains to date that that loss is why he can accept his death:

date shakes him and asks him if there's really nothing left for him, no reason to keep living at all:

then echoes yumi's advice to haruka:

which makes an impression on kiryu:

date gives him a reason to live in the form of haruka, saying she'll be on her own again if he goes to jail. he hijacks kiryu's tragic protector complex to keep him alive, because she needs him, and because she's someone precious to him:

after the dust has cleared,

kiryu and date also have this exchange, where date tells him to stay away from the cops (and presumably arrest and a return to prison, the aforementioned fate akin to death), and kiryu cites haruka as his reason to stay away, one he holds to with no uncertainty (showing again that he's accepted date's logic, that his reason to keep living even when it's incredibly difficult is to care for the more vulnerable haruka). given the weight of the consequences, to me, it feels like date's telling him not to be alone with his thoughts or something. it's almost frightening:

so, what's our takeaway from kiwami?

kiryu lost everything and hit rock bottom, but he chose to fight, and to live life on his own terms, even when it got difficult. that's the narrative life lesson he had to learn to avoid repeating the events of 1995. he made that choice for haruka's sake. it's seen as growth.

and without him, haruka would've just returned to the orphanage (assuming she could make it back to sunflower at all) with no one who knew or understood what she had been through, no one to mourn with her, and no one to give her the attention, care, and protection she needs. kiryu knows what it's like to be an orphan with a limited parental figure who only checks in every so often (kazama, "aunt" yumi), and what someone will do for attention/affection from that person (via both himself and nishiki swearing up, climbing the ranks, etc. arguably haruka coming to kamurocho by herself to find "mizuki" is similar), and what it's like to lose them anyway (again, kazama, yumi). their situations parallel each others' somewhat, and that binds them further. and after losing everyone (which he blames himself for to some extent, as one can probably assume from this and 2, and something key to his arc in later games), he chooses to protect her. and this time, he won't fail. at least partially because failing would hurt him, too. he'd have nothing left again.

okay. now we get to kiwami 2.

if you forgot, the context is basically:

everybody's fighting on the roof of a building which i'm sure will not be a running theme or anything as the series goes on

there's a bomb that's about to go off and they don't know how to/can't defuse it

ryuji shot the twist villain to death, but took fatal hits to do so

sayama's like hey!! let's get out of here!!! and kiryu and ryuji are like nooo we have to settle this oughh it's punchin time and they stick her on an elevator and send her down so she doesn't have to watch

ryuji loses. sayama returns, they have a cute sibling heart to heart, and ryuji dies in her arms. sad

kiryu is in rough shape as well, and there's like 2 minutes left on the bomb's timer

here's the scene itself:

sayama tells kiryu they have to run, and kiryu says he can't. the gist is "let's run!" "you go without me" "i'm not leaving you!" "i'm in no condition to run" "i'll carry you then!!" sayama: *sees how fucked up kiryu is, realizes he's Going To Die Anyway* "ok, then i'm staying with you!" and then further bickering about that, before they give up and make out (as one does i guess)

date (he's here now) yells this at them from a helicopter:

before someone else in the helicopter tells date this:

we get this shot of haruka calling out to kiryu as the helicopter swerves away:

and kiryu and sayama have this exchange about haruka where they say they let her down, but that she'll understand:

then they hug and the bomb ticks to zero right when the credits hit. in post credits it's revealed that the twist villain defused the bomb when they weren't looking, betraying his co-villain for reasons i truthfully do not remember and am unwilling to look up. it's not about that right now.

so, how does this scene interact with the ending of the previous game?

the short answer is "badly <3" but here's the long answer:

it's about choices.

the thing about fiction is that anything you want to have happen, as a writer, can happen. it may not be effective, internally consistent, or logical, but you can write it regardless. audiences suspend their disbelief for the sake of engaging fully with your fiction, but everyone has a threshold past which they will stop being engaged in a story and either become uninvested or annoyed. writers usually have lines they're unwilling to cross as well. but in almost every story, there's at least a couple of places where they stretch reality a little to make the narrative they want happen. this is not a bad thing at all. that's how stories get told.

now, i'm gonna be real with you. i don't care about how feasible plots are like 95% of the time. it's not something i think about much, nor is it something i prioritize. i am a very character-centric media consumer, so if world building and/or plot are a bit stale or contrived, that doesn't really bother me much so long as i'm invested in the characters involved. some people can't stand plot holes or the ways musicals burst into song or whatever, and that's fine for them. but it's not something i tend to find that all that important.

this is all to say that i have a sorta affection for rgg's flavor of bullshit pulling. and it is a powerful flavor, maybe even an acquired taste, but i can and do rock with it so long as it doesn't damage the characters too much. this is why i'm not making a lengthy post howling into the void about joji kazama or the second joon-gi han or how many secret relatives there are. those things are silly and endearing and a clumsy yet heartfelt part of a series i care about very deeply. i'll joke about it, but i don't consider it much of a flaw. it's more like personality. flaws are texture, and they help a piece's identity. point is i am very, very willing and able to suspend my disbelief for these games in exchange for a good time, particularly via good characters.

(if you want another example of where i draw the line from within rgg, the answer's the YAKUZA 4 SPOILERS INCOMING rubber bullets twist, because i think 1) it's actively horrifically stupid (especially retconning a scene we SAW HAPPEN. WE SAW BLOOD ON EACH IMPACT, AND RUBBER BULLETS DON'T OFTEN BREAK SKIN THAT DEEPLY (THEIR DAMAGE IS MORE PERCUSSIVE THAN PENETRATIVE). THESE EVENTS HAPPEN IN THE SAME GAME YOU DON'T HAVE TO RETCON IT JUST REWRITE IT. OR DON'T SHOW THE HIT AT ALL SO THERE'S MORE PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. DON'T DO THIS JUST TO HYPE UP YOUR SHITTY VILLAIN NO ONE CARES ABOUT. and 2) (a bit more importantly) i think it actively removes saejima's primary internal conflict for that game, that being his intense guilt over the 18 murders he thinks he committed, one i was invested and interested in. but this isn't a rubber bullets post.)

characters in this series walk off a lot of life threatening injuries. they survive miraculously, they escape in the nick of time, and they pull through in the end. kiryu still somehow hasn't killed anyone. almost every game in his saga ends with an "is kiryu gonna make it out this time?!?" shortly followed by a "yeah lol. lmao" postcredits reveal. kiryu fucking punches a marble statue into dust in the first game. having a story that asks you to suspend your disbelief so much and so often means that when a decision is made, it's not the writers saying, "well, this would have to happen so we are obligated/forced to write it happening" so much as "we wanted this to happen for some reason(s)," because you already know that they're not guided solely by logic. again, this is true of all writers, it's just amplified in stories like these because they've already given you so many hard mode suspension of disbelief moments (they've broken you in like leather, yeah? or like how obvious internet scams allow for self selection by being so obvious that only the most vulnerable people would fall for them. they curate an audience willing to play along with their bullshit flavor so they can tell a story that's more likely to satisfy that audience. in a good way, in a fun way! mass appeal is overrated). there is not much limit to what this series is willing to try and sell you.

so when ryuji takes lethal damage taking out the big bad, that's a choice. when he doesn't die immediately, that's a choice. when ryuji and kiryu send sayama away in the soon-to-be-forgotten elevator so they can settle this like men or whatever despite the literal actual bomb about to go off, that's a choice. when sayama comes back, that's a choice. when ryuji does die, that's a choice. when kiryu determines that he can't escape in time, that's a choice. when sayama is unwilling to leave him, that's a choice. when she says she'll carry him out and there's an elevator right fucking there and then she's like never mind i guess i won't anymore we're dying together right now kiryu like they're not gonna even try?? wouldn't distancing themselves from the blast give themselves a better shot, something that's super possible given the 2 minutes they have with that elevator??? sayama you met him like a week and a half ago why are you ready to die with him that's not a plot hole i just think that's kinda strange whatever anyway, that's a choice. when kiryu stops arguing with her so they can kiss (next to her brother's corpse), that's a choice. when date shows up, that's a choice. when the helicopter can't save them because the bomb was going to go off too soon, that's a choice. when they put haruka in that helicopter and take her away, let her only impact be reminding kiryu and sayama that they can't help her, that's a choice. when they spend their last moments talking as if they're already dead, then simply waiting, that's a choice.

they're all choices that the writers made for the characters, and we are asked to believe them for the sake of achieving the writers' vision, as with any story. the only problem is that the writers' vision here fucking blows.

i'm not saying it would be realistic for kiryu and sayama (and even ryuji) to make it out alive, but it wouldn't be out of character for the series in the slightest. kiryu is suddenly unable to power through here, and that's a choice. so, what is their vision?

put simply, i think they wanted a romantic last stand for kiryu and sayama, a tragic scene of doomed, devoted lovers. and i think they wanted an edge-of-your-seat fake out death. they wanted spectacle.

here's how some specific choices they made undermine all that shit we talked about earlier from the first game.

once again, kiryu is called by date to live, to pick himself up and keep going, no matter how impossible the odds are. he's even reminded by haruka's presence, his one anchor in keeping himself going. the growth he had in the parallel scene in the previous game is challenged, and he fails.

it's not enough this time. and that's a choice.

it's also one i can't think of a good reason for, and that's the real kicker.

characters can have developmental backslide just like people do, and if they're given good reason for it, it can be just as, if not far more compelling that purely linear growth (i am a chimera ant arc enjoyer, and that's all i'll say. sorry if you haven't seen hunter x hunter. uhh. i am also a zuko avatar enjoyer if that helps). but i can't think of anything that happened in that game that would cause this from a character perspective. if anything, kiryu should be less likely to do this intentionally. he's spent around a year raising haruka, and a year has passed since he lost his loved ones. at the very least, the pain should be more dull, though it is established through an early nightmare sequence that his ass is (justifiably) not over it yet. given that their deaths were the initial motivation for his willingness to rot forever, theoretically, he should be more motivated to stay alive than before now that he's got more investment and stability in his life outside of them, particularly when it comes to haruka, his reason for surviving. and if the ongoing nature of the trauma was the motivator for this, then they should've had it affect him more past that nightmare scene (it really serves more as a recap of the last game than anything else) so it didn't come out of nowhere. so the reminder of the lesson that saved his life and then guided it for at least a year afterwards, one that the whole resolution of the previous game relied on heavily falls flat for... some reason.

i think this is a good time to mention that, generally speaking, you don't write arbitrary choices into characters. sure, people in real life are often sporadic, but when analyzing fictional characters, every choice is filed into a portfolio of characterization that can and should be analyzed. going for pure realism can obfuscate their development, motivations, themes, etc. their choices and reactions may be unorthodox, but they must be internally consistent. this is very related to how i view plot contrivance as well. characters drive the plot, not the other way around. stories are about the ways characters affect their worlds/lives and vice versa, and they're the human face to the themes and ideas the writers are trying to explore and express. maybe my stance on this seems hypocritical. i don't know if it is. but to me, plot issues are usually a matter of engagement and investment, while character issues are a matter of substance.

i hope this doesn't feel patronizing explaining all of this, but i want you guys to know where i'm coming from in my analysis. starting at my base philosophy on writing is the easiest way to do that, i feel. defining the terms of the debate, and all that. anyway

and i mean, look. they survive because "it was defused the whole time we just didn't see it happen", so it's not like narrative tension or realism or whatever was THAT big of a priority overall. if it was gonna be a cop-out anyway, they should'nt have ruined kiryu's development too, yeah?. and sayama fucks off to america after this game anyway, so it's not like the doomed lovers thing had much payoff or meaning after this one (though you could argue that's more an issue with yakuza 3 than yk2, which has some merit to it). which means that they chose to sacrifice kiryu's prior development and internal logic for the sake of cheap tension for their finale that was both kinda illogical in and of itself (the elevator!! the elevator!!!) and a romantic climax that neither required nor really benefitted from this staging. (like. you coulda had them make out and then get saved by date, or kiss on the elevator in a "it's moving, but will we make it in time??" way or whatever. look i'm not saying those are great options either but they're SOMETHING okay. it would remove/reduce the amount of time wasted on characters sitting around with their thumbs up their asses for no reason in this finale).

instead the message of this finale is that, actually, sometimes it is impossible to change your circumstances and fight for your own way out of an awful situation. and what should you do about this unfortunate truth? uh. die! i guess. it's the exact opposite of the encouraging, optimistic message of the last game. zetsubou chou pride my ass.

note: i feel i should mention that when suicidality is brought up within the series (particularly in substories), it is always something someone has to overcome themselves through wanting it badly enough. they simply need the inspiration and the motivation to keep going. it's arguably treated as a moral obligation. frankly, the series is broadly very meritocratic (<- bad) when it comes to this topic (and others, but that's a Whole Other Thing. see akiyama's weird loan shark tests as well). sheer will and resolve is enough to conquer any problem, be it physical or mental/emotional, and it's irresponsible to act/feel otherwise. this is the logic the games operating under, and kiryu is often the mouthpiece for this bootstrap-pulling "tough love" sentiment. so when kiryu "chooses" to die, yet faces no emotional fallout from date, haruka, or anyone else, it feels very out of place. it's not just an odd choice; it's specifically, once again, an odd choice to make in context of the game/series/character it appears in.

kiryu's just like eh, haruka'll watch her only family die right as she gets some sense of tentative stability and lets her guard down after a devastating month the year prior (and a relatively dismal upbringing before that) that we trauma bonded over. sure, she likely came to view me as the one who would stay no matter what, who was too strong to be taken out, who she could always rely on, and so i know that dying would hurt her immensely, but she's smart enough to know it'd happen eventually. her eventual recovery means it's okay for me to do this (somehow, in a way it wasn't in the first game). it's an excuse within the narrative's logic, and one it is uncritical of simply because it's kiryu. he gets a pass.

and i think with the previously mentioned passive suicidality and general series-long mental health issues kiryu displays (i mean. yakuza 5's literally his depression arc), this could be retroactively seen as an interesting choice, like a piece in that particular narrative. i don't even dislike that viewing, especially in terms of fan approach. but (assuming this went down the same in yakuza 2), they likely didn't have that in mind. all they had then was the first game and the movie. and they took the first game's Entire Message and contradicted it for nothing but a scene they wanted to have happen because it'd be suspenseful and/or emotional (without actually doing the work to earn it). and they're not fans trying to analyze his character, they're the ones making choices for him. and they chose to massacre my boy. and if the subject of kiryu's mental health was a priority of theirs, why didn't they explore that? haruka and date's feelings on him not resisting and their words not being enough (whether that blame is justified by the narrative or not (it shouldn't be btw)), the uncomfortable drifting that resigning yourself to death and living afterwards anyway often brings, literally any conversation about it besides the minimal shit we get post credits of date being like "did you know about the bomb not having a fuse?" which like. bad answer either way (which is why they weren't straightforward about it, the cowards). you can't just be like "oh uh. idk he just gave up this time. yeah he was gonna die on purpose for some reason. good thing the bomb was fake lol" and then pack up and go home!! that's stupid!! any merit the idea of kiryu dying by suicide in this scene and in this way could have had from a character-based perspective loses its weight because 1. it didn't happen (for kinda stupid reasons), which makes it fall flat and 2. no one is really affected by the fact that it almost did, including him. they sacrificed his ass and replaced it with nothing, even when there could have been interesting outcomes to it.

so the narrative effectively chose to kill him by making the situation impossible, and this impossibility is ultimately arbitrary, given the series' usual approach to miraculous, illogical escapes. that, or the choice to stay was up to kiryu and sayama, one that 1. doesn't make sense and is actively regressive in context of kiryu's arc in the only other game in the series (as well as his whole saga in retrospect) and 2. one that contradicts how the series sees/treats resignation to death/death by suicide in all other contexts without being addressed, challenged, or condemned in ways it would in all other contexts. because they don't want you to think about it like that. they want you to think he (and the narrative) had no choice, that it made sense to do that. but it didn't. it doesn't.

and look, honestly? if i was bleeding out and had like 2 minutes to live, there's a non zero chance i'd say fuck it and kiss a girl too. i get it. but i am (and this is crucial) not a fucking yakuza character. and i'm certainly not kiryu kazuma.

tl;dr (basically just rephrasing the second to last main paragraph)

there are not sufficient character reasons for kiryu and sayama not trying to escape. additionally, because the narrative regularly facilitates even less likely escapes, it's not so constrained to logic and reality that it couldn't pull this one off. the choice to let their situation be impossible this one time was a cheap and arbitrary way of forcing a scene they thought would be cool and dramatic, and in doing so they chose to cannibalize a key emotional note of the previous finale (namely kiryu's mission to dedicate his life to protecting haruka) for hollow last minute stakes-upping in this one. it is then completely disregarded anyway. god damn.

[princelyhelp]

people on this fucking site waste so much time digging into and straight up stalking the people they don't like and then they try to disguise it as like a public service. it really makes me see red. you are not the babysitter of this person who people don't like!! i genuinely can't tell if it comes from like a victim complex ("oh i'm spending all this time making sure this person doesn't hurt anyone else and it's taking up so much of my life:(((") or a heightened and misplaced sense of justice, but stop it. stop it!!!! the person you're stalking probably does not give a fuck. all this ever accomplishes is the person being a weirdo gets some attention for it and like retraumatizes themselves and the rpc in the process. i'm not saying to just let people get away with things, but could you imagine the real life equivalent of this? someone scams you for under $100 or is a bad friend or makes some unwanted sexual advances and instead of like moving on with your life and keeping yourself healthy... you literally drop everything for months if not years, letting your own life fall to the wayside just so you can let everyone know that this person now shops at this target, or they made a new twitter, or cut their hair. it's so fucking unhealthy i can't stand it. you are not the keeper of the person who hurt you. it is not your responsibility to stop them. you are hurting literally everyone BUT that person in the process of wasting your time and probably accusing 10 other random innocent people of being this one person using a new alias/blog. and the thing that really eats me is i just KNOW so many people are gonna take this as like me excusing the actions of people who do bad things. i'm not lmao i promise i'm not. but genuinely who does it benefit to waste literal years of your life cyberstalking someone who was mean to you a few times and probably doesn't even remember you at all anymore?? (also the you here is like a general you not YOU jsjsjsjjsjs) xoxo the hater hater

You're right, people should cyberstalk or keep up tabs on an individual who hurt them ( online ). Because all it does is hurt the person who's dedicating all this time and energy to the fucker who hurt them. Like you said, it benefits no one nor is it healthy. Like go ahead and make a PSA, do that and leave it at just that. But to create an entire account dedicated to that person? ,,,, babes,,,,, don't do that, it's not worth it. However, anon, I would like to say that I do not like the example you brought up, i.e. " or makes some unwanted sexual advances " because that is something that can affect a person for a very long time. You should've just ended your example at getting scammed at for less than $100.

Anyways. Me personally, I think people should just make psas, block the person, mute they names, and move on from their lives. That's what I did to someone in the rpc and honestly,,,, I'm living my best fucking life! Sometimes it feels like that person no longer exists <3 But I get that blocking someone isn't an easy solution for everyone. Some people want their licks back, some people obsess over the person, we all react differently to shitty people in the rpc. All I say is that you don't let one shitty person ruin your fun or way of life. Don't give them satisfaction, whether it's online or real life. Don't let that bitch ass nigga do that to you.

[1d1195]

okay ngl with the pics you posted it does give young teacher vibes BUT there's nothing wrong with that at all! I SWEAR one of my high school math teachers wore that EXACT outfit on the bottom right and im getting flashbacks lol But one again its not a bad thing, if it makes you feel good and you feel comfortable in it, THATS ALL THAT MATTERS! plus they look cute!

Also Im so sorry that people in high school made you feel like you were below them just because you didn't have certain clothing items :( It truly IRKS me when people do that! I despise it! Not everyone can afford trendy clothes or keep up with trends! Plus even if people can afford them that doesn't mean they have to wear them! the clothes and items that one may have to do make the person "better"! Ugh i hate that you were made to feel this way :( even if it may not affect you rn that is still so shitty to go through! But Im glad college was where you discovered many things!

Now my style currently does not exist lol Currently in my era of trying to tap into my feminine side again(another long story for another time lol) along with trying to love it for the way it is! But my usual everyday go to is either a baggy t-shirt/sweatshirt/hoodie with leggings or shorts bc its hot where i live! My campus is huge so it just makes it easy to walk in. Plus i love that leggings now have pockets like i LOVE when women's clothing have real pockets! Anyways when I "dress up" i love wearing dresses and skirts! I love florals and I kinda love eccentric patterns too! Thrifting is something i enjoy too and i often find hidden gems! But I also do love going towards an alternative aesthetic too! Im emo at heart so i cant let that go lol plus i love a good platform shoe lol Idk if you've seen the show The Nanny but my style sort of mimics hers minus the animal print lol Side note that show is where I found the first British actor I had as a child lol

oh you're not prying! I will definitely be adding that to my application lol It's fun to be a bit petty and mean once in awhile!

The concert was for Kelsy Karter and The Heroines! I really enjoyed it! It was a small venue so I love how intimate it feels and she performed so many of my fave songs! Im sorry your weekend was exhausting :( Hopefully spring break will give you the break you deserve! AND THE ECLIPSE WAS MADE FOR THE SPACE GIRLIES! Im glad you got to enjoy it!

No you are like funny! I love when you include it in your stories!

My day today was not good bc my period came early and I was so sad about that lol But im okay rn lol BUT hope you had a wonderful day!-💜

No it's okay. It's super embarrassing sometimes tbh hahahaha my style is very boring. Yeah being a poor girl was tough but it's alright. I have a shopping addiction now to make up for it.

Your style sounds so cool! A bit of everything! I love that!!! You really get it all and that's cool. It's nice your rediscovering your feminine side! I def had a tom-boy phase myself. I told my sister I was going to wear sneakers to my wedding (before it was trendy) and she made so much fun of me and threatened me. But now you can't get me out of wedges 😂 I LOVE pockets!!!! I've actually never seen the Nanny outside of pictures.

I love that for you! So nice you had a good time. Sorry about your period. That's no fun :(

I'm alright! Very much looking forward to my break. I'm kind of not feeling so hot rn at this moment either and i'm very excited to go to bed. I'm nursing a ginger ale rn lol I feel like I wasn't very responsive the way I wanted to be but I'm feeling drained and as much as I wanted to write more I think I just need to go to sleep.

thank you for your message as always 💕

xoxo

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

Hi there, I saw your post about being worried about running into a past bully and I just wanted to send some encouragement. You are a beautiful and wonderful person and their opinion of you does not define you in anyway. Somebody once told me, don't give your power to others. Show that person that their bad actions have no hold over you. It's not stupid to worry about it either, you are probably suffering from some form of PTSD. Hopefully you have many people who love you around to support you. You are amazing and so strong! I hope everything goes well for you. ❤

@ohhcalamities said: that's terrible, you have all the right to be upset about potentially seeing him. I hope you don't, and if he's there try not to let him ruin your day. You can always avoid him and pretend he doesn't exist. Hope it all goes well! 💖

@milarca said: oh jeez that sounds awful I'm so sorry 😰😰😰

@brendaonao3 said: It's not stupid at all - your trauma is your trauma, and this is dredging up some very deep-seated feelings <3 but just remember to take a deep breath and remind yourself where you are in life now, and all the beautiful things you have and how you *survived* and *thrived* in spite of him, and hopefully the will ease the knot (love you!!!)

@froidefille said: I don't think it's stupid, I think it's just how trauma works. Your feelings are valid, 100%! Im sorry you feel bad :( but you are awesome and you can do this. Try to have fun just to spite the douche :P Remember even some random person online thinks you're awesome not to mention you'll have your family there to support you💕 I hope you'll feel better and have fun at the wedding XOXO

First of all, you folks are 100% awesome. I actually hopped on right now to update what happened this weekend and found all these kind words. Thank you so much for all your support and encouragement! It's so greatly appreciated.

I made the post the night before we were leaving to head back home for the wedding so ya'll know how nervous I already was. Lemme tell you, yesterday afternoon before I even started getting ready I was feeling awful. At first, I thought it was normal me-not-feeling-well nonsense since I typically get that way before any sort of social event. Then I remembered again why i was so nervous and it made even more sense that I was actually trembling most of the day.

But!

I did what I could to calm myself down. Y'know, breathing exercises and taking a warm shower and drinking lots of water. Stuff like that. Then started to get ready, and when I was through I was positively thrilled with how I looked.

My dress fit and flattered my body perfectly. My sister outdid herself with my make-up and I couldn't believe how great it looked. My hair was fine even without getting it done for the day.

When we got there, we (me, my husband, and makeup-sister) were standing in the lobby talking for a bit and at some point, I happened to glance around and my heart/stomach fell to the floor. Sure enough, he was there. I s2g my blood ran cold and I panicked. On the inside, at least.

According to both my husband and sister, the only reason they knew that something happened was because of how well they know me. Which, I guess means, no one else could've been able to tell, including him. I did everything I could to keep my cool while he stared at me...so effing awkwardly.

It was painfully obvious that he felt uncomfortable. And I wasn't even the one to point that out. I was thinking it but wondered if it was hopeful thinking and then both my sisters said it. He was also there without anyone and when he went up to dance (horribly) he mostly danced...with his beer. At one point, my parents came back to the table and were like "Look at this, you're sitting here having fun with your husband and sisters, and he's up there...dancing by himself. I think you win."

While I was acutely aware of him the entire time and there were horrible knots in my stomach, it was like he didn't even exist to me. I cannot tell you how many times I walked by him on my way to the bar or something and went by like he was any other guest there that I didn't know. Make-up-sister said that he looked at me every time I was near him and every time he passed our table.

I can't even begin to describe how awesome it felt and how much fun we ended up having. It was like the most ideal outcome!

[goddessguru-blog1]

Snakes in Tow

I've spent the entire day letting musings roll through my mind and feeling the insistent pull to put them out into the universe to be known but I have a problem sticking to one subject. I honestly don't even know where to start but here the hell it is anyway. I had a dream last night about a boy I've been heart broken over for on and off about a year now. We are kindred spirits. Also, we're both conveniently Scorpios if that tells you anything. Always hot or cold, no in-between. My dreams have always been super vivid and like little memos to me from the universe. I get major deja vu but not just like "hey I think I've done this before" but legit I think I see the future in my sleep type stuff. Ever heard of Akashic Records? Look it up, neat stuff. I'll be doing everyday activities when this happens. Last week for example, I was sweating bullets outside under the sun that no matter how many times I moved away from kept following me and driving nails out of a massive stack of cypress. Don't even ask, this season of my life is called manual labor. So as I was doing this and cursing the heck out of these boards the universe literally spoke to me through Hotel California on the radio and I got that deja vu feeling. I knew deep in the core of my soul that I'd dreamt of this exact moment before. Sometimes you just know things, ya know? Intuition. That's how the universe speaks to me and I know that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be no matter how hot and sweaty the moment may be. Hopefully Mama Earth will send me a much more appreciated hot and sweaty moment later on if ya know what I mean. Anyway, with that being said, when I am shown something in a dream I listen. I don't always remember every important detail but in the gist of this one the aforementioned boy went to the moon for whatever reason and while he was there I was informed that he died. I mourned in my dream. Like gut wrenching, heart shattering emotions spewed out of me and I hit the ground screaming. Knowing that time doesn't actually exist in my subconsciousness I can't tell you how long that lasted but in the next scene I could feel my heart healing. I was recovering through music much like I used to do as a child. I was writing a song for him that I am currently kicking myself for not waking up and writing down because it was damn good. As I was writing this song in my dream I felt so anxious. People kept coming around while I was working and I got the feeling they were trying to steal my lyrics to use as their own. Then I woke up. What does this mean? It feels fairly simple to me really. Him going to the moon, an unreachable place, much like I feel that I cant reach him now. His emotions are completely shut down and walled off to me. I miss him as if I missed a dead loved one. I also feel like my subconscious was giving me and my inner self the chance to mourn that I haven't even allowed my conscious self to do. I've done everything I can not to think about it. Hence the manual labor. The last part I didn't understand until just now as I'm writing this but I think the anxiety I felt from the people around me was just exactly that. I'm afraid someone will steal my joy. It's as simple as a friend texting me out of the blue informing me of his affairs or him texting me himself while I'm writing about the dreams I'm having. Get the hint? His particular text went along the lines of "I'm so sorry. I'm just fucked up and dead inside."

I've been thinking about snakes a lot lately. Mostly because I'm tapping into my divine feminine and snakes are very similar to women in the way that we shed our skins(women shed eggs, snakes shed skin) but I just feel like they are seriously misunderstood beings. They get a bad rep with the whole Garden of Eden thing. Honestly snakes are beautiful and enticing in a sort of seductive, evil way. Yeesh. Now, with that being said I would like to invite you to take a look at some of the snakes in your life. Alluring, toxic, dangerous. Ringing any bells? So while I do have empathy for this beautiful, misunderstood creature. I mean really they cant help it. But I sure as hell would never stick my hand out for one knowing I'm going to get bit. Don't put yourself in the line of fire and stop getting bit. Don't get me wrong sometimes I do envision myself as this bad ass gypsy goddess with snakes always in tow but for the sake of this analogy lets just say that I would never let one within my vicinity which is probably actually true as hell. Funny how I sat down to write this with no idea where it was going but it all fell into place as it was supposed to. Always in the flow.

goodnight, don't let the snakes bite

xoxo

-S