#i cannot believe how well it went

[scjacka]

This blew up on the clock app so I guess I'll share it here too

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

ever since i was a small child the adults around me have treated any boundaries i set as me being a selfish bitch and i think that definitely did something to me

[quietwingsinthesky]

you ever just think about. “You are diseased, albeit a disease of our own making. No more.” you ever just. oh, they made him and they discarded him. it’s never going to be quiet again for him, and that’s just collateral. they let the sound rot through his whole life, his whole timeline. because that’s the kind of easy sacrifice you can make when you want to save yourself above everything else, one that doesn’t ask anything of you. you dig open a child’s mind and you bury your survival inside him and when he follows the noise back home, when he does exactly what you groomed him for, you call him ruined for it. that’s. you ever just think about that.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[somedaytakethetime]

Posts like a male IG admin: Focused 👊🏻💪🏻

[mattodore]

absolutely said that i'd work on the cas pics for the updated character pages *checks watch* over ten hours ago and i absolutely ended up doing nothing except watch jerma stream for six hours and then wound up fucking around on spotify and playing dress up in cas with eight sims at once for the rest of the time i've been gone

[recurring-polynya]

i refuse to draw any conclusions from this

but, uh

this scene

from the beginning of the tybw

kinda reminded me

of something else

[sorabyul]

today, my therapist said that she sensed a shift in identity within me. i told her that i think it's me letting go of my identity as a caregiver.

in my 20s, i think i embraced this concept of being the "eldest daughter of an immigrant" as a way to rationalize this idea that i am a caregiver to my family — that this is my identity because of the position and family i was born into, to say that it was bestowed on me. but what i've come to realize is that, while the truth is that i am the eldest daughter to immigrant parents, that is not synonymous with being the caregiver to my family. yes, it set me up in a position where certain abuses, expectations, and responsibilities were thrust unto me. but the difference is that i'm allowed to (and i have the ability to) unlearn this, so that i can rightfully explore my identity.

and today, i realized that i was trying to make "caring" my definitive characteristic but at the expense of my being. in actuality, i think many people would choose to define me as loving, kind, joyful. when i was younger, i wanted to be described as sunshine and i think that "loving, kind, joyful, sunshine" are far more servient traits that i have achieved. i can care for others without having to be a caregiver.

and if i'm not a caregiver then what am i? the answer to that is that i am nothing and everything at the same time. my therapist laughed when i answered that i'm just a girl, but i mean it in the most wonderful way.

i am young and yet mature. i am an adult but i have a lot to learn. i am the grey area between black and white. i do not have to be anything concrete or absolute because every day, i am evolving and learning and experiencing life for the first time — and that will undoubtedly change me. to be loved is to be changed and i think i'm well on my way to truly loving myself.

for once in my life, i do not feel defined by any specific role and it is the most liberating, kind space that i have carved for my past, current and future selves. the world will carry on, people will carry on, and all i have to do for my loved ones is love them in the ways that i know how today.

every day, change is a possibility and, while i think i've always liked the idea of it, i am now in a place where i do not consider change to be anything less than a natural way of being. it isn't something that i have to be guilty for, and embracing change doesn't have to (ironically enough) change how loved or wanted i am.

i am just a girl who is loved and cared about, who cares about her loved ones, who is kind, who stumbles upon joy and strives to be remembered as sunshine.

[chaotictomtom]

turning my attention each 5 minutes to some genre of music and going insane +++++ thinking how much i love this genre of music then getting unprompted to some songs from a totally different genre and the same things happens i just cannot stop loving things the circle goes on and on

[patrice-bergerons]

Ugh you can tell it's the first day of my period because here I am getting emotional and missing Kun at City 😭

[the-acid-pear]

Why did my cooking dream get hijacked by my brain making a William Afton oc and au what was that about.

[aquaticfreakshow-sys]

Call me petty or whatever but, making fun of and shit talking my toxic ex with my current partners is literally so fun....

My current boyfriend of ten years was ALSO with them so it's really fun to completely trash talk our failed poly relationship lmao

Healing is being able to laugh at how ridiculous it all was instead of being afraid of them.

[readymades2002]

it is very frustrating because my mom does not know What The Deal Is but she certainly Suspects (for good reason. to be fair to her.) and she has Insinuated and she has Implied but she has not asked anything specifically. and its...not unreasonable for her to do this i guess because the last relationship i was in i didn't tell her for a year and a half. because the relationship BEFORE that was my first and it was with a girl and i asked her EXPLICITLY AND URGENTLY to not tell my dad about it because he was a massive homophobe and i knew this and saw this where she did not and she told him anyway and i have not trusted her since though, having few other options, i have continued to confide in her things that i should not confide in her that have then mysteriously made their way through all our shared coworkers back to me. and its.....its so. i don't know what to do about it. she..."stalked" is the wrong word but she followed my blog against my wishes and knowledge as a child and the more i lost trust in her and stopped talking to her the more she pried into my private life. i know my sister had similar experiences with her. and it has created this cycle where i keep trying to keep her out for my own privacy and dignity and safety and she just gets even more desperate and pathetic trying to get in after breaking my trust over and over and OVER again but i live with her and depend on her for far too many things and so it just. is this. awesomesauce

[aria0fgold]

Been slowly playing a game I got using not so legal means and it damaged my brain in a way that it scrambled its cells and I've yet to recover from it. I think only sleep can do that now.

[mars-ipan]

chamomile actually solves every problem ever for eternity

[antihcroes]

i found out today i dance like a white dad, this is terrible news, in response i will never be dancing again