#anyways if you unfollow me for disagreeing with me on this that’s perfectly fine

[otaku553]

Idk if u watch Bnha but i think u will love the Story right now it has over 60 Chapters.

As Yamato, Son of Kaido, heals from her wounds from a battle against her tyrannical father, a chance meeting with a injured boy in green opens her world. And that world, will change.The boy's name? Midoriya Izuku.

I mean absolutely no offense to the writer or the people who enjoy this fic but personally I get an ick every time I read she/her pronouns for Yamato, who is canonically trans. I’m sure otherwise I would really enjoy it, since Yamato is one of my favorite characters and I’m a fan of the bnha world as well, but,,, yeah

Yamato to me is such a powerful character in terms of the impact he has had on the fanbase. Especially as someone who presents usually pretty fem and has difficulty getting people to refer to me by my own preferred pronouns, I love seeing people acknowledge Yamato’s chosen identity :)

Thanks for the recommendation though!! Crossovers are my bread and butter, so if you find any other fics you think I might like, do feel free to send them my way!

[osamusbigtits]

i obviously didn't mean were you serious about wanting to euthanize a group of people, (or at least i hope not, i don't actually know you or anything...) i obviously meant were you serious in your unapproving and maliciously harsh criticism about people who ship with bakugo, especially of a certain age range that you deem to be disgusting, which you were actually serious about, so thanks for clearing that up. and listen, you're allowed to disagree with it but uh, (which to me is weird tho, bc first off, he's fictional and in that realm there is room for well, um, fiction and imagination, so that being the case, you can um, you know: fictionally age someone up who doesn't even exist, so as long as someone is NOT shipping with him as a minor in their imagination then i don't get what the big deal is next to any other aged up fictional character from any other series from a canon perspective... let me give you an example: source material creators/authors/mangakas age up their super young characters all the time, just like your beloved Furudate did with his haikyuu characters and you seem perfectly fine writing about them fucking each other all the time, so why should that be any different? just because it came from the creator's brain that those characters are visibly shown to age up at some point and just happen to get a visible timeskip (which is super short, btw), therefore it makes you feel more comfortable shipping them? ok so, imagination is only acceptable in the mind of the creator's brain then? so one person's brain and imagination is more valuable than another's now? so, a fan can't have their own spin on it otherwise (just the way you spin things with your fave hq characters)? or because fans don't have critical thinking skills of their own to see that what a character really is, at the end of the day, just a set of traits and characteristics that we see reflected in other people? a character isn't some living breathing person with a set age, or even stagnant at all, they're meant to evolve and grow even if we don't see it canonically yet. so, we aren't allowed to assume the bnha character's will someday grow older and age too at some point ?? like ?? i'm just really confused as to what doesn't compute for you about all this, but whatever you're obviously allowed your own opinion if you don't agree, whatever) but also are we all any less cringe in any fandom than the next dude for lewding over a 2D person than the next, tbh? like really? are you serious rn? ok, climb up on that high horse all you want, you're so much better and less cringe than the rest of us, it must feel good to be so superior. also, way to be a malicious ageist, it comes off super ignorant and bigoted, tbh. like weird flex: you're in your early 20s or whatever, good for you? anyway, maybe try to be open to the possibility that you don't understand why someone who ships with an aged-up adult bakugo resonates with his set of traits or why it brings them comfort, since like i said, that's all a character really is: NOT REAL and a SET OF CHARACTERISTICS in the figment of someone's mind. maybe try practicing a little more kindness and empathy and critical thinking skills, hm? maybe don't be such a malicious ageist? or don't. just had to put in my two cents in since you put in yours.

uhhhhh I'm not reading all that. maybe just unfollow me next time

[officialtayley]

Honestly why do people even CARE about your personal views on the band/H? You're not asking them to un-stan, you're not asking them to march to Nashville and tell them off, you've just expressed disappointment. Why do people have this parasocial relationship with you as well as the band! If you disagree with Ash about how she views public figures, you don't need to try to change her mind?? You can simply: log off.

i don't know. it's like i said too, i've been this way with others of my fave artists over far smaller things. i never hate them either, it's just how i feel and i'm allowed to want to take a step back for a moment until i'm less disappointed, which i know will pass (but i'll also always remember it).

also, i really don't need to know if people are unfollowing me either, no one needs to tell me they're going to do that because i just don't care. that's their choice and it's perfectly fine, i'd rather them do that than keep trying to make me change my mind. but i also don't appreciate people trying to scold me like they're my mum, you're not above me just because you don't like that i'm apparently aggressive and disrespectful.

i've been far worse in the past in regards to being aggressive and it was usually over stupidly small things, i've worked hard to be better about that, but all this stuff isn't small, people have also been trying to change my mind over the history of palestine and this incident in particular, in which i will get "aggressive" if you're going to be that way too and clearly not do research.

anyway. that was a rant. thank u for this ask tho 🖤

[bratty-bi-ace-for-positivity]

pre-emptively outing myself

So, I found myself in a bit of a position that had me leaving this tumblr. Mostly, it was personal stuff. Less so, it was feeling less and less safe in my own space. If you unfollow this blog after this post, okay. I’m literally not coming back after this.

So, ace tumblr, I was the person who posted this meme to twitter. No one really saw it, so I’ve not seen any opposing views. But let me be clear. I am not going to identify with a definition that effectively reduces my identity to a “maybe”. demisexuals experience sexual attraction. I do not. We are not the same.

We should not be painting ourselves with the same brush. The very idea that the definition of asexuality exists to be an umbrella and not a term to educate people, who are not like and like us, is patently destructive. It makes MY space unsafe. Words have meaning, and if you take that meaning away you erase those who felt they found themselves in it.

I am asexual.

I experience no sexual attraction.

I am not changeable.

I am not up for debate.

My identity is defined as ‘experiencing no sexual attraction.’

All others, not like me, do not need my space. They need their own. I’ve spoken to enough people, both allo and demi, who talk the literal same about attraction. How hard is it to accept that you just might be normal? What’s wrong with being perfectly acceptable by the world? Is it the fact that you’re aware marginalized people made “privilege” a bad word? The thing you need is a reality check. You do not need my space. You do not need my identity. You want a word? Fine. Have your own. You can’t have mine.

But, hey, if you’re all okay with letting allosexual people into asexuality. Go for it. I’ll be removing myself from this unsafe space. If it’s so easy to redefine terms, I’ll make my own.

Don’t even worry, I’ll be fine without the ace community. I never had bridges to burn here anyway. I have nothing to gain by my point of view being agreed or disagreed with.

[cyoxe]

i’d like to bring something up now that my page is getting some attention, if you disagree with what i’m about to say please unfollow me. tw!!

african-americans, asians, hispanics, muslims, lgbtq+ members, women, men, native americans, and just people who believe in a certain religion in general are being attacked for such things they can’t control.

they can’t control the color of their skin/how they look or what they are stereotypes as!

asian-americans aren’t a virus, they did not bring covid-19 to us it traveled here like any other virus would, if a pandemic started here and traveled there I don’t think they would blame us.

native-americans and african-americans aren’t savages, they aren’t weapons, they aren’t attackers, they are the ones being attacked.

being gay, lesbian, transgender, asexual, aromantic, bisexual, etc...isn’t a choice. they did not chose to like a certain person but they do. they don’t follow what people see as ‘normal’ and shouldn’t have to.

not all women sleep around and cheat on their partners. just because a women goes into prostitution or work as a stripper doesn’t mean they are cheating or anything, they are making a living and some are forced into it.

hispanics aren’t druglords, it’s a disgusting stereotype that needs to stop being spread. they are innocent people.

muslims aren’t bombers and if some refuse to show their hair thats fine, it’s a religious thing that they prefer and they shouldn’t be hurt for it.

men can be raped and sexually assaulted and they can cry and they can wear skirts, dresses, and crop-tops. it’s society’s gender norms which convince a lot of them it’s not okay to when it’s perfectly fine.

and you know what? half- no most of these attackers are white and homophobic because they can’t deal that things are changing and we don’t live in the 1600s anymore.

so what if someone doesn’t believe in god? so what if the color of their skin isn’t pasty white? so what if they don’t show their hair? so what if they wear cultural clothes and paints? so what if they don’t speak english? why is it your business?

anyway I would just like to spread awareness on the topic and I hope that if you agree you take as much action as you possibly can because ignorance is just as bad as if you were the attacker.

everyone is human, so why are they being treated different?

[ifthearmorfitsarchived]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

Fill out & Repost ♥ This meme definitely favors Canons more, but I hope OC's still can make it somehow work with their own lore and Lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

Tagged by: @sweet-talkin-gladiator (thank you :> ) Tagging: @forgedcold, @fortwarden, @abuzzingofbumblebees, @incendiius, @sparkmender, @panickedforcefield, @polyhexianchicken, @blubrownrpblog and er.. anyone else that wants to? You can say I tagged you or whatever.

MY MUSE IS.   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

is your character popular in the fandom?  YES (???) / NO.

is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  WELL… / NO / IDK. (I think he’s hot...)

is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. (I think he’s strong as well considering he’s a load-bearer and whatnot)

are they underrated?  YES (???) / NO.

were they relevant to the main story?  YES (...???) / NO.

were they relevant to the main character?  YES (???) / NO

are they widely known in their world?  YES (As Ultra Magnus yes but as Minimus Ambus... No) / NO.

how’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

I mean.. I try to follow the canon as close as I can. I’ve read the comics, anayalzed him to hell and back and just.. yeah. I follow canon, but I also add in my own twists here and there so that he’s still following canon, but still... different? If that makes sense.

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.)

In my eyes, he is the ideal enforcer.. in that he isn’t biassed towards who he brings to justice. You can be an Autobot, Decepticon, Neutral, Alien, or hell even human and he’d still make sure you are given a fair trial with the proper lawyer because you still broke the law.

He is very sassy when he needs to be as in, he isn’t afraid to put you in your place, especially when he’s protecting someone. If you’re going to make assumptions about someone, 10/10 he’s going to shove facts into your face about how WRONG you are and then proceed to ripe you a new one all without so much as twitching once. I love this.

Despite being stern and seemingly emotionless, he’s not really. He just keeps all those emotions inside for the most part and rarely shows them. He is essentially selfless, caring and willing to protect anyone who needs protecting. He has issues of his own, but he’s willing to put said issue to the side to take care of your issues and your wellbeing because those matter to him more. The moments he allows himself to open up and be vulenable for just a second it.. it truly is heartwrenching, but in a good way.

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

He’s a work-a-holic, in that he will put his work before anything else. Even at the expense of his heath. He’s stubborn like that.

He doesn’t know how to relax or have fun, at least in the ways others do. While others want to get rip-roaring drunk and party, he avoids those sorts of scenes at all costs and may even start to issue citations because there are rules being broken.

Oh yeah.. he’s a stickler for rules. Will never break one no matter what, so that can make him a kill-joy. He’s also prone to cleaning obsessively because of his OCD and anxiety and just doesn’t know how to strike up a proper converstation.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?

I’ve been wanting to RP as Ultra Magnus / Minimus Ambus for like the longest of times since I came across him in the comics the first time he came out, but I was so shy and had anxiety about tackling such a big role. I kept putting it off because I didn’t think I could portray him correctly or others wouldn’t like how I wrote him. I finally gave in though because someone I admired wanted me to try after I mention wanting to try my hand at him and since I gave up so many others I wanted to RP as, I thought this time.. I’m going to do it and so I did. While I do still have some anxiety regarding my portrayal among other things, I’m enjoying myself and I’m glad others are actually enjoying my portrayal as well. You have no idea how much that means to me really. Besides I just.. find him so interesting really. He’s a gentleman, intelligent, resourceful, handsome (in my eyes), loves the arts and needs to be loved honestly.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?  

I guess the fact that I’m enjoying writing this muse and that others are enjoying him as well? Really, if it wasn’t for some of you I probably wouldn’t have taken on Minimus and just wondered about it like I did with other muses I wanted to try my hand at.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. (I mean I feel like I do yet don’t???)

do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.  

do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES (I do that with all my muses honestly...) / NO.

are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO. (This is rather laughable really)

are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. (HAH!)

are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. (...It depends I guess?? Sometimes I can be and sometimes you have to try harder than that bucko)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

I wouldn’t mind it yes? As long as it’s CRITICISM and not just flat out hate like I have recieved before. Telling me the way I’m writing the muse sucks isn’t going to help me get better. You’re just insulting me. Tell me how to improve. Give me tidbits and or hints. Provide helpful criticism. Some of you don’t know how to do that and it shows.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  

I think everyone does really. It helps not only you but your muse as well. It helps you get a better feeling on your muse and expand their background and whatnot, so yeah. I do.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  

Not.. really? Considering it’s my headcanon and it’s my interepation of the muse, not theirs. I mean I’m open to new headcanons and if I like it, I may addapt it to my own but I also can refuse it if I feel like it doesn’t fit with my portrayal. If you don’t like my portrayal, you’re welcome to unfollow. Not that hard really.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?

...Unfollow? I feel like I’m doing a decent enough job on my portral. If you don’t like it, unfollow and move on. Simple.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

Everyone has their likes and dislikes. It’s how the world is. How people are. If you don’t like my muse, that’s fine. I don’t care. Just don’t send me messages about it or whatever. I don’t care for that shit.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?  

I don’t mind as long as they’re not an ass about it... Like calling me stupid or an idiot. Not everyone can write perfectly or even speaks / writes English. Remember that. Some of us also have issues with speaking and or typing. Remember that.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  

I mean.. I like to think I am? Besides my horrible social anxiety and other problems, I try to be nice and friendly. If someone sends me something, I try my best to reply to it in a timely manner. I try my best not to bother people too much but at the same time, I try to be supportive and caring if I see someone is down or needs help with something. I don’t ever rush others for replies since I know real life always comes first. I also don’t force interactions or shipping or what-have-you. I’m just here to have fun and write, which I’m sure a great majority of us are. Having said that, if you ever want to message me or get to know me, please don’t be afraid to do so. I’m not a mean person by any degree really. The only time I’m rude if is someone is rude to me first, but that’s really the only instance. I don’t like to start conflict or drama. That sort of stuff causes me anxiety anyways, so yeah.. Enjoy yourselves, okay?

[sasslightertm-a]

ooookay, so, some bullshit™ happened earlier this past week and I’m annoyed and pissed. incoming rant/vent under the cut (with screenshots used by permission).

As most of you who have been following me long enough probably know by now, there is a Charmed Discord server and I was in it for a while until I left in early January 2019, for reasons that will be discussed later. The main mod runs a few Charmed rp blogs here on Tumblr, we did have a few threads planned out together, and eventually after I left the Discord server it got to a point where I felt uncomfortable seeing her posts on my dash so I quietly unfollowed and deleted our thread I’d had in my drafts (which had been sitting there for months by this point anyway because I am slow af). Shortly after I unfollwed her, she unfollowed me without so much a message of “Would you be interested in continuing any threads?”.

This mod, while I was in the server, also created a venting/ranting group Google doc against another Charmed roleplayer who has been around for years and had been in the server as well but also left for much the same reasons I later did (namely, feeling unwelcome within the server). (The Google doc has since been deleted, I believe.)

Which brings me to the main point of this post. One of my close friends/mutuals noticed this mod and the roleplayer starting to interact again when both of them had unfollowed each other for months beforehand after the mod decided this roleplayer was Toxic™.

Uh-huh, sure, I find it very hard to believe you told her about the call-out Google doc and everything in it and she was perfectly understanding about it. I also have yet to hear an apology at all from this mun when 1) the most we would do is talk OOC anyway; 2) my Chris and Bilie were constantly ignored despite me showing interest in some of her wishlist ideas; and 3) any threads we did have would only get two replies in if I was lucky and were then dropped. So I unfollowed ages ago and moved on with other mutuals, and at this point it’s honestly not worth it.

And no, sorry, the server was not inactive when I left it back in early/mid January. Everyone was either in the general, headcanons, or venting channels And yes, any time anyone responded to me it was because I or my friend had said something they wanted to argue with or turn into a headcanon about their own next-generation muses. Also? For all y’all would squee over white US-American YouTuber cover artists or Korean boybands (despite none of you speaking a word of Korean), or the mod occasionally slipping into Arabic and then translating when one of us would ‘???’, the instant I try and share a cover by an amazing Turkish musical-theater singer who speaks German and does German-language musicals (said cover was in English, by the way), or the instant I would talk about something I learned in one of my German classes (despite most of my ancestry being, y’know, German [and for the record, said German ancestors came over to the States in the 1800s, so don’t even go there])... dead silence. 

1) oh my gods I’m howling. Thanks for admitting most of the people in the server hate me just because they found my fanfiction and that I like to write dark-themed fics and smut. Out of curiosity, was it one of my FF.net accounts (my main, my Charmed-fic-centric one, or my dark!AU Tenth Doctor-fic-centric one) or was it my AO3? (Also way to go for basically admitting that yup, you’re all a bunch of antis and really be drinking the evangelical fundamentalist Christian purity culture Kool-Aid.)

and btw, saying “complete transparency?” like that is just code for “I’m about to be a petty bitch and you’re not going to want to hear it, but too late.”

also, what, like none of you have ever wanted to write kinky smutty fanfic just because it’s fun and lets you work out various fantasies that may or may not be inherently transgressive? as far as I’m aware I was one of maybe two other people in that server who identify as asexual so don’t even try and say any of youse are sex-repulsed aces.

my smutfic isn’t even that kinky, but go off, I guess

tbh they also probably hate me bc I called them out over their misuse of the word “pedophilia” in regards to this one particular scene in a teen drama TV show between fictional teenage characters being portrayed by adult actors that airs on a network aiming for a 18 to 49-year-old demographic, and the mod and I would disagree over various things concerning US-American Wicca, but hey, it’s easier to just go after my fanfiction and say they hate me because of the fanfics, right?

speaking of that scene they were so up-in-arms about, don’t even try and tell me real-life allosexual teenagers are not horny and don’t have sex with other teenagers, because coming from a state with one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy (where more often than not both would-be parents are teenagers of or around the same age), I will not believe you

like, seriously, do NONE of you remember ever being horny and hormonal as a teenager, or...? 

2) Stop trying to make this an argument that needs to be won, because it isn’t. Also? By the time I left the Charmed Discord server didn’t even feel like a Charmed server anyway, so. There’s that.

3) My friend is right and she should say it.

A few things here: 

How does any of that sound accusatory when it’s true and my friend calmly laying out how she felt about the situation??

Again, stop trying to make this into an argument or personal attack because it isn’t. And not every single conversation is a debate that needs to be won.

“I was half joking”, uh-huh, yeah, riiiiight. Also? How is it any of your business how she decides to run her blog and curtail it so she feels safe on her own dash??? Especially when you don’t even follow or interact with her anymore?? Hell, I softblock people myself who are either inactive and just taking up my follower account, or are personal/fandom blogs who I just don’t want interacting with me. And if you follow me but don’t make any motion to interact, then yeah I’m probably going to softblock you too after posting a heads-up that I’ll be cleaning out my follower count.

And the best part??? Immediately after all this the mod/mun made a post on her blog saying how she doesn’t put up with passive-aggressiveness or manipulation. How the fuck is my friend/mutual being passive-aggressive or manipulative???? 

I’m sorry, but no, you do not get to do that. I see what you did there, and it is not okay. And I am glad I don’t have to deal with any of this mun’s bullshit anymore, or most of the people in the server, apparently. They blocked me solely because they found my kinky darkfic? Fine, great, it’s not like any of them ever interacted with any of my muses anyway and I don’t want to deal with them either. (But also... I made it clear on the server that I also write a dark eldritch!AU Tenth Doctor from Doctor Who and they all knew I have a sideblog for the canon evil version of Chris Halliwell so how exactly was it a surprise that I like writing fanfiction with darker themes and grey areas?)

Anyway, no, that language used on my friend was not called for at all. Neither was trying to make her out to be the aggressor when anyone who’s chatted with her OOC for long enough knows that even doing this much is hard emotionally for her. This was also not an argument that absolutely had to be won so quit trying to turn everything into an argument to make yourself look better. And ooh, boy, tone policing on top of that. That last response was classic “I know you’re right but I don’t want to admit it so I’m just gonna say something to make myself look like I came out on top.”

Nah. 

There’s the door. Make sure it hits you on the way out.

[fellbranded-blog]

out.

I’m gonna update my rules in a sec, but I think this is really important to say now--

I may start unfollowing people who are constantly super self deprecating and defeatist about themselves, their work, and their portrayals. I understand having a lack of confidence, really I do, and I know that anxiety is also a thing. We all have those days, me included! But to constantly see someone refer to themself so negatively is... Really draining? Like. We’re all here to have fun. It’s not a popularity contest, it’s not a freaking full time job, it’s tumblr rp. No one here is ‘better’ or ‘worthier’ of being here than anyone else, because everyone brings something unique and wonderful to the table. It’s perfectly fine to be self-critical. Everyone has things they need or want to improve on. But to the extent I’ve been seeing...?

It may apply to art rather than rp, but one of my heroes and biggest inspirations atm Sean Chiplock (aka the sage Halcyon and a few bosses from Echoes, as well as Revali, Teba, and the Great Deku Tree from BOTW and I forget who he voices in Persona 5, but he’s in that too!) actually managed to articulate this in a way I’ve really wanted to, but could never find the words to do so with. The link to his post is here, but I’m just gonna go ahead and quote it anyways because it’s important--

Stop this.

No, seriously. I’m not saying this as a joke; stop doing this. Or at the very least, don’t tag me in your work if you’re going to be defeatist like this. Have real, quantifiable confidence in the output of your efforts.

If you truly, honestly believed the work you did was “horrible”, why would you share it with the person you want to impress? Wouldn’t you consider that to be an insult, to effectively tell them “this is bad, but I’m showing it to you anyway because I don’t care to put in more time/effort despite thinking it’s horrible”?

I am incredibly happy with the time you put into this, the accomplishment of your life goal, the details in parts of the piece (the face/feathers in particular are incredible), and especially your persistence in not letting program errors prevent you from completing the picture. But I do not want to enable this kind of self-deprecating behavior by playing the counter-person who goes “Oh nooooo don’t say thaaaaaat, it’s wonderful” in response to being told someone’s submission is garbage. Rather, I’d be the kind of person who would more likely respond, “well okay then, you’re right; it is terrible” and let you fulfill your own prophecy.

If you think it’s horrible, let me know why; explain to me what faults you find in the image, so I can at least see that you’re thinking critically and acknowledging areas for improvement to address the next time you start a new project. If you struggle with a subject matter, tell us what about it proves difficult so that if/when you seek advice, the educated/experienced know what kind of info you’re looking for. That kind of constructive self-criticism is openly welcomed even if it’s not always accurate, because if someone disagrees we at least can point out the specific reason why.

Please, take pride in your work; if you can’t, don’t be surprised if no one else wants to either.

Seriously, guys. Take pride in your own efforts. If you think you can improve on something, then by all means feel free to say so or seek advice. But don’t constantly sell yourselves as ‘terrible’ or ‘not worth it’, because people will start believing you when it’s honest to goodness not true. 

Um... That’s all I really wanted to say. Sorry for stretching your dashes, I just thought it was important enough to warrant doing so. Please, guys. I love you all. It breaks my heart seeing this level of self-deprecation, but I really don’t want to enable more by being the person to go ‘nooooo I love yooooou!’ all the time. 

[busco-un-alma]

I had an experience with hateful comments online And I wanted to share it with you

A couple of weeks ago, I received a comment from a guy who thought he had any right to tell me how to act, be and express myself. I've had an amazing two years of NOT crying myself to sleep Because of my self hatred. and then I read his message. It made me feel like shit. He doesn't know me. And that's why I hate that his comment hurt me so much. He added me on Facebook back in October, I accepted cuz we went to the same high school, and I remember how sweet he always was. He insulted me, because I didn't agree with him. I'm open about my intersectional feminist ideals. I post a lot about the current strike in the University Of Puerto Rico, and I share and criticize memes that are transphobic, homophobic and racists. I RANT A LOT. Come at me, i don't care. Unfollow me. Anyways. He came into my Facebook status, commented about how I used a word that he thought was wrong. I told him that it wasn't wrong and explain why I used the word (it wasn't a slur or anything, it was the adjetive "undue" in Spanish.) The status basically said "The undue acts —referring to a guy that spit water on a confrontational professor— of an individual in a protest, does not invalidate the goals of the whole." He said that "undue" was too sweet, that it was worst than that. I told him that until there is actual blood, or physical attacks it's only inappropriate and the word undue was perfectly fine. Specially when the professor wasn't exactly a saint. He choke a student in 2010 in another protest. He then proceeded to make a comment about my mother. Saying that he wish she was the one who got spit on, and disrespected. I saw red. I had to breath in and out... I proceeded to explain that the guy wasn't even part of the protest officially, I explain the violent history of the professor, I explain the reasons for the strike, the reasons why the professor should be actually striking with the protesters, and i told this dude that it was incredibly disrespectful and out of place to mention my mother to validate his arguments. And next time he wanted to mention my mother, he should think about how it would feel to hear someone use his mother in an argument she's not part of. I had tagged a friend in my original status, and she proceeded to tell him: "This is between adults, and you should not be bringing up family members. Keep your arguments straight!" He then proceeded to write a three paragraph response. He said, that I was selfish, couldn't deal with criticism, I was vulgar, my head was full of rebel student naivety, I acted like a little girl, I'm not capable of putting myself in anyone else's shoes... he said, and this is the part that made me laugh, "I've had to suffer three months of you screaming and posting about things and putting your opinion. And god have mercy on anyone who dares disagree with you. You will eat them alive. You did that to my friend yesterday and then deleted them!" He called me immature for deleting said friend. That person I deleted is someone I haven't talked to or seen in years, someone who posts things that aren't interesting to me, someone who decided that in a post where I was clearly angry, come and tell me to calm down not in one comment, but a couple of comments. I kept getting notifications from the post because that person kept commenting for me to calm down in different ways. So I deleted them... from my PERSONAL account, after responding. I wasn't sweet I know this, i wasn't nice, but I'm human. Anyways the other dude kept saying that I was nasty, blah blah. I responded with: "Thank you comrade, I'm not interested to be liked by anyone, I don't need to be liked. It's so sad that you had to suffer for three months. I didn't know I put a gun to your head and made you add me on Facebook, keep following my posts on Facebook, and kept reading them. I'm clear with what I believe in, my ideals, my reality. I don't need to explain my character an personality to you, because this post isn't about that. You questioned the used of a word, I answered with my reasoning behind the used of said word. You mentioned my mother, out of context. I proceeded to tell you that it was inappropriate to do so. And now you refused to acknowledge my argument and refused to admit that the comment about my mother was out of place. So really, of SOMEONE came and talked shit about me to you, and now you are avenging them, that's really none of my business." I have the receipts of all of this. Screenshots and stuff. I deleted the comment thread after an hour because my original status was what I wanted everyone's focus to be on. These screenshots are all in Spanish. I've translated the best I could. Anyways, after that I was a mess. I was sporadically crying for the whole night and the next day. I spent that weekend in a bit of a numb state. I new he didn't know me at all. He has never talked to me in person. But I took everything he said to heart. And I HATE that. I should not let ONE person dictate how I see myself. I think what made it worst is that my best friend kinda took his side.... and well... it's like she validated his insults. After telling my closest friends, and all of them saying that I didn't say or do anything deserving of those insults... I got better. I regain confident. Of course I waited until he saw my last reply and deleted him from my account, I don't need someone like that in my life. Anyways, I'm just wondering why is it that we take BAD comments as true, but good comments as lies? Why? I of course am still super open about my ideals and I keep posting and ranting about everything. But what Ive learn is to be more careful in the way I express myself. I had a talk with my best friend and she explain that she didn't agree with him, she just wanted me to take a step back when posting and talking to people and phrase myself better. I mean, this annoys me a bit, cuz I'm impulsive and frank in a "I usually don't have a filter" kind of way. But I've learned that my sincerity is sometimes badly phrased. (Although, everyone that read the thread told me that I wasn't being disrespectful! So in that one I won! Hahaha) Anywayssss, I'm done with this now. I needed to let it all out. Bye.