#anyways lol. i've heard of stuff like this happening sometimes but it's never actually happened to me before (that i'm aware of at least)

[austinslounge]

So... The time as come. We can spill some tea, right? I'm talking about the Zendaya-Jacob-Kaia stuff. I don't know much, I only read rumors 'cause I really love Z. I remember I was shocking when in the first place I saw the Zendaya and Jacob pap pics, especially because she always has been private and I never liked him. And than, out of nowhere, he started dating Kaia, without any official announcement about the break up with Z. I don't know if rumors started with those pap pics, but I remember that someone said he cheated on Z on her birthday??? And correct me if I'm wrong, but he hadn't cheated on Joey King too? A cheater is a cheater and adding the rumors about the Lili-Cole-Kaia thing (I didn't know about this one, I recently find out) it seems a pattern. Am I miss something?

Oooo -- this is an interesting topic.

I'll spill!

I'm a fan of Zendaya, so I was following her relationship with Elordi back then, so I can only spill what I personally observed, and also what other fans in the fandom kind of felt during that time.

**DISCLAIMER -- This is just based on observation and what I've heard/seen circulating in the fandoms. Sip or Spit.

Click below 👇 to read more, if you dare lol:

Jacob & Joey

Yes, lots of Joey King fans feel that he cheated on Joey because Joey kind of alluded to it by some of her likes around the time of their split. She was liking a lot of cheating posts. 👀

Supposedly, word on the street is that Jacob had cheated on his Aussie gf with Joey. 😬

Jacob & Zendaya & Kaia

Jacob and Zendaya started dating after she and Tom broke up in 2019. Tom was spotted with some blonde chick in London, and then not too long after that, Zendaya started dating her Euphoria co-star Elordi. I think they got spotted in Greece sometime around August of 2019.

What's interesting is that Jacob met Kaia Gerber at some point the very next month in September of that same year at some fashion show/event.

It's funny, because around that time, Kaia and Tommy Dorfman (I think he's trans now?) used to hang out a lot together, and now, you almost never see her with him/her. Not sure what happened. Anyway, so Jacob used to be seen at the same events that Kaia was at, and he was always hanging out with her and her friends. Other fans of Zendaya and I all thought that was pretty sus. 👀

Link

At one party, Jacob was even seen flirting with Kaia on video, all while he's dating Zendaya and had just been papped in NYC kissing her in Feb 2020 (so they were definitely official).

In all honesty, those papped pics with the Elordi/Zendaya kiss all looked pretty staged to me, but we're not going to get into that lol. 👀/

Around early September, Zendaya fans noticed Jacob (who had now come back to the states from Australia during covid) hanging out with Kaia Gerber again, and it was at this point we knew for a fact that he and Zendaya had split up. We weren't even shocked to see Kaia and Jacob together tbh because we all saw signs that he was always hanging around her even while he and Zendaya were dating.

By March 2020, as we all know, the global pandemic hit, and Jacob flew off to Australia, and we all know what happened after that. 👀

Next thing we know, Jacob flew to LA in September, and guess who he's spotted with???

You guessed it! KAIA GERBER.

This article above from E! came out when they got spotted out, and they were still trying to pretend that they were just friends, but we fans knew what was up. 😒

Jacob didn't cheat on Zendaya on her birthday, it's just that those pictures of Kaia and Jacob came out on Zendaya's birthday (or around her birthday), so that's why some fans assumed that he cheated on her birthday.

Most fans and I feel that Jacob and Zendaya actually split up months before it was common knowledge, and before he even stepped foot back on US soil. We all know he was keeping in touch with Kaia all throughout their relationship though.

There's no way you're jumping right to another woman when you first step foot back in LA unless you've been chatting her up for a while before you even get back into the country.

That's another reason why I don't trust Kaia. Too many weird sus things follow her around. Then I also remember the whole weird Cole Sprouse/Lili breakup and how she was around that whole thing too. 🥴 The girl is sus.

Another thing that's weird ---- Kaia and Elordi were spotted the last time together at some Halloween party back in 2021.

The next thing you know, she and Elordi have split up, and she's immediately spotted with and dating Austin Butler in early December 2021.

I'm sorry, but if you're moving on that fast from your boyfriend of a year and immediately already out with some other guy almost less than a month later, you can't tell me that there wasn't some type of overlap, or you got hooked up by somebody.

I personally kind of wonder if Kaia had her eye on Austin for a while (maybe ever since the Lily Rose fling) 👀, and dropped Elordi for a chance with Austin. Jacob himself also moved on pretty quickly as well, and they both had articles come out on the same day with their new respective significant others. (Again, weird!) I just find it strange that we still to this day don't know how Austin and Kaia even met each other (maybe mutual friends?), but I suspect Kaia and Co. pulled some strings because they don't even fly in the same circles like that lol. Not to mention the stark age difference between the two of them. 🥴 She was only 20 guys. At least she and Elordi were in the same circles and were attending the same events together before they dated. There is photo evidence. So their pairing made more sense. With Austin, it's like, there was nothing, and then BAM! All of a sudden they're pictured together lol. 😅

So anyway -- that's all the tea I have for today. Thanks for stopping by for Tea Time at Austin's Lounge lol. 🤭

[canis-dentem]

how/when did you know you were a therian? like- when did you make the connection; how did you know you were caninekin specifically?

I’m tryna figure stuff out for myself and don’t know where to start. I don’t think I’m a therian, but I’ve always done some kind of animal-ish things (used to have the urge to hiss/snarl/snap when due to annoyance when I was younger, I have the urge to make creature noises pretty often, sometimes my mental image of myself when doing something feels more different, like. tall and elegant?? like sometimes when I turn my head I like. imagine/feel kind of a sloping neck and longer face/muzzle and limbs, canine-y (imagine a maned wolf/african wild dog/other canine) I don’t know how to explain it— but I’m not sure if the noises and biting are some kind of stimming due to my ADHD or not). I also heard the term “otherhearted” as having a deep connection with something, which. mmmmaybe me? so I’m gonna look into that.

anyways woah I rambled a lot more than I intended to but. yeah! I just wanna know what others’ experiences are like so I can see if mine relate to them lol

hi anon!!

tbh, i only awakened of around march of this year. i had never entered therian or otherkin circles, although i knew about it. one of my friends telling me star was a feline otherkin was what got me thinking like.... oh, that's a thing we can do? it happened to me with being trans, too, LOL--it didn't click for me that i could be something until someone close to me was.

what got me thinking was my brain kept saying "ugh i wanna be otherkin. that'd be so cool" and then i looked back on things i've done my whole life and like. oh that was a wolf thing. oh that's a dog thing. oh huh. it has been here. something that helped me when i was researching being autistic/having adhd was i kept a list of my symptoms as i noticed them, so i did that for being a therian. i have my little list of canine "symptoms" that i either notice myself doing or have remembered doing, some of which include feeling the urge to chew a lot, feeling longer canine teeth/wanting longer canine teeth, the urge to bare my teeth and growl when angry, always playing the worgen race in world of warcraft, among others. some of these (like baring my teeth/growling) were things i taught myself not to do bc "it wasn't normal." (i connect that to the 17 years of autism masking i did, so much so that i didn't know i was autistic and nobody around me did either.)

about stimming: me feeling the urge to chew is a stim. it is also connected to me being caninekin. it can be both!! stimming doesn't cancel out being a therian. plus, for me at least, i dont think i'd be otherkin if i wasnt autistic. you only mentioned adhd, not autism, but keep in mind that neurodivergency can and does often interact with alterhumanity.

i don't typically label my alterhumanity as spiritual (as in past-life) or phsycological, because honestly, i don't really care to know. i have it, and that's what matters to me. but being otherkin does overlap with my spirituality in the sense that i feel some yet unexplained connection with the woods. i always have. it makes sense to connect that to being otherkin, even if that's not the only explanation for it.

you can absolutely consider yourself otherhearted, if that makes sense for you! my suggestion? don't worry too much about the label. the word isn't actually super important. there's a big emphasis in this community on figuring out the specific type of animal you are, the specific type of otherkin (or -hearted etc) you are, where it comes from, etc. i don't think that's worth stressing yourself out about, not at all. if it works for you, it works for you--by all means, go ahead. if the process of finding a really specific 'type or word to call yourself brings you meaning and fulfills you, please do it!! i'm all for it. but if it stresses you out to figure out the finer details, let them go. it's okay. in my opinion, the biggest question is not "am i really a therian?" and instead, is, "does it make sense/bring me joy/fulfill me to connect myself to an animal?" if it does, move on from there.

good luck, anon! sending all my love to you. feel free to send any updates about your experience, if you wish to! i hope ur having a wonderful day <3

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I read your post about the 10 misconceptions concerning Dick Grayson…if you don’t mind, who was the person who sexually assaulted him the “first” time? You said he worked with them in a superhero/crimefighting capacity…I’m just asking because I’ve never heard of that & sometimes I do want to know canon instead of just fanon. It’s cool if you want to answer this privately (in case others feel uncomfortable with the topic). I know you probably have more important stuff to do, so if you just want to give me the name of the character & the arc, I can look up the rest.

Anyway, thanks for the informative post. Hope you’re well.

No worries! The character/event I was referring to prior to Tarantula was Mirage, a teammate on the New Teen Titans briefly, and there's a looooooot of fanon to wade through about this, much of which I don't personally agree with. Including (and in some cases especially) in regards to a lot of the fanon that uses this to woobify Dick at the express expense of Kory, which I personally hate. (It really needs to be talked about more that Kory is a sexual assault survivor herself, IMO).

Furthermore, there's a tendency fandoms in general have - which I hate - that thinks anti-rape activism looks like focusing explicitly just on the rapists and vilifying them while leaving their actual survivors to be treated as focal afterthoughts, all of which I find to be SUPREMELY counter productive. And there's not a lot of nuance paid to how both Mirage & Tarantula - much like Morrison's take on Talia - feeds into & perpetuates racist tropes like 'the exoticized predatory woman of color,' which leads to a lot of pro-Dick Grayson/'men can be raped too' sentiments being used just as a justification for writers & readers to have an excuse to write characters like Jason torturing and murdering women of color in the name of defending Dick's honor or whatever. And I really can't express how much I hate that either.

All of this is just to say......be very careful with fanon takes & interactions with BOTH the Tarantula and Mirage storylines, and please always be mindful of the lens through which you scrutinize these stories and takes on these stories.

I've written about both storylines and my takes on fanon tropes about them many times over the years (full disclosure, I'm a male rape survivor so my stances on this subject are very much biased and not remotely inclined to pretend otherwise, lol) and you can probably find a lot of posts about them by searching my blog for the relevant character names, but here's my big go-to post on the Mirage situation and fallout, in which I tried to back up all my viewpoints with canon sourcing. Its definitely long, but aimed at being as thorough as I could make it.

[pendragonthegreat]

okay so. i haven't made a real post about seeing dj in hollywood last week because it was really last minute that i decided to take the trip. and it was really different than when i saw him a few months ago (that i talked about here) and it was kind of crazy so i needed time to process it. i'm not going to put every detail in this post but i want to tell you guys the big thing that happened so here we go

the biggest difference between this event and creature feature was the amount of people there to see dj. there's probably more factors than the relative popularity of pendragon vs ayaotd (advertising, location, etc) but the difference was a lot. i mean there were maybe 4 other people who talked to him. which meant i talked to him for much much longer

i was determined to talk about stuff i hadn't heard dj talk about before but i also know at this point that dj is able to take control of the conversation and come up with stories to tell so i didn't really have a plan. so first of all he recognized me but i had to remind him from where. so then i had at admit that i am actually not from california and actually the entire opposite coast and he was so shocked. i showed him the pictures of my collection and i think that and the fact that i came from so far away has shattered any idea dj might have had that i'm a casual fan. but yeah he seemed flattered and not totally weirded out which i was a little nervous about

sooo we talked about pendragon of course—somehow got back onto book 10 (must every conversation about pendragon end up at the soldiers of halla somehow?) but as i said i didn't want to rehash old topics so i was like "you know when people talk about book 10 it always seems to be about either solara or the epilogue, but a lot of other stuff happened in that book" and he was like "you know what? you're right!" so we talked about spader and nevva and the general adventure in book 10 YAYYYY

we talked about sylo and the sylo movie and he told me some more about why they didn't go through with making the movie. basically the scripts were bad. i can say more detail if anyone cares. and then we talked about f29d which i think he was excited about because people don't talk to him about that show as much so i heard a few stories i've never heard before! the biggest thing was that the production of f29d was much closer to lost than i thought—both in terms of the crew and literally, physically, the filming locations were basically on the same beach. he told me sometimes they would go and steal props from lost (lmao) and they kept the lost airplane wreck and the f29d wreck in the same hangar!

okay enough rambling VVV THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART VVV

we started talking about his new book (if you don't know, his next book is going to be a continuation of the last story in Beyond Midnight) and i was saying i'm excited to read it and i'll be sure to look out for it. he said the book is written but he's not sure yet if he's going to self-publish it or not. then he told me this: that just for me, because i came from so far away and was a huge fan, he would send ME the manuscript for the book early. holy shit lol i can still hardly believe it. but i'm telling you this so you know dj really is such a nice guy. he talked to me for so long and he did not have to give me anything but it's such a wonderful special gift to have. :)

anyway the book did just have a sticker on the cover. but it's doubly special now with dj's second signature and personalization :D

[solesurvivorkat]

...It's been a long time.

Being a mom of 2 young kids, I'm busy, like... ALL the time. Have been for a long time now. Ever since one of my coworkers retired, I've basically been doing the job of TWO people ('Oh we're going to hire someone to replace him, we promise'... yeah, okay...). It's been non-stop since... God, I don't even remember when.

I finally started getting a bit burnt-out at work, and - longer story short - applied for a different position within the company I work for. And I got it! Granted, I work for an insurance company - it's not wholly interesting (I think, anyway, lol)... but at least I (hopefully) won't feel like I'm on a treadmill, constantly working and not really getting anywhere worthwhile. I haven't started the position yet - I'm still doing my current job until... they tell me otherwise, lol. Supposedly I should be able to start my new job 'soon'... but I've heard that more than once, so who knows when that will really be. At least there will be an end in sight SOMEtime in the (hopefully near) future.

Even now, after all this time... I still think about my writing. About my fics. I know... it's been forever. No one probably even cares anymore, lol. I'm just a tiny bit bummed that stuff got let hanging on all 3 fics and was never finished. :-/ I had such plans for those stories, too. For the characters. Such 'storylines' that I thought were cool, clever.

...Life.

And I still think about the people I used to hang with online from time to time. I haven't forgotten anyone. ...I'm sure some have forgotten me. And that's okay... that happens in life sometimes. Sometimes people are part of your life for a short period of time, and then life just takes you in different directions. I was one of the 'old people' in the group anyway, so even when I fit in, I didn't really 100% fit in. ...But then again, I almost never 100% fit in anywhere anyway, lol. Kind of what happens when you're 'on the spectrum'... it's like being an alien, or being on the other side of a store window watching the people inside. You can still communicate with them (and vice-versa), but... there's still an invisible barrier there.

So... yeah, I dunno, lol. For the first time in what feels like a really, really, REALLY long time, I had a moment at work in which I could actually just sit in my chair and just... 'think'. Reminisce. Remember. ...Think about some of the stuff I miss. The people I used to talk to. The things I used to do. I don't regret having kids, of course (I adore my 'babies' - even in some of their worst, most frustrating & draining moments), but I can't help but remember as I walk by that imaginary glass window... if there's anyone that turns their head and looks back at me, remembers who I was. Wonders how I am. If I'm even a micro-second of a thought.

((So... in the rare chance that anyone comes across this and *IS* still curious - no offense taken if you're not - my son is now 6 & in kindergarten, my daughter is now 2, work & my kids take up almost all of my time. I'm perpetually busy, and don't feel like I have as much energy for 'extra' things like I used to. I still make magnetic glasses toppers - but haven't spent as much time doing that for a bit b/c I've been so drained on a regular basis. I still update my YouTube channel (and want to get back into that more), it's just been slow-going for now.

I'm not unhappy - just very busy and only have so many 'spoons' per day to spend... once I run out of those, I just don't have the ability to get much else done. I know things won't be like this forever - I look forward to changing jobs in the future (again, same company), with the possibility to work from home once I'm trained (someday), which I think will make my life QUITE a bit easier (saving some money on gas, being home more, not getting home from work as late in the day, having an easier time making appointments & such, etc). So... we'll see, I guess.))

[destinyc1020]

Sunday confession: This isn't related to TZ. 

Hi, so I’m the same anon who sent a Sunday confession on January 21st about my worries regarding my exams. I mentioned that I got accepted into Dartmouth and I was wondering if you could give me some advice about studying/living in America. I'm from Canada and I've never been to the US before. Although some people say that the two cultures are similar, I personally disagree and I'm worried about the differences. I've heard a lot of concerning things about the laws, especially the gun laws, that make me anxious. I don't want to show up unprepared and not know anything before going. I'm really excited to attend Dartmouth and I just want to be as informed as possible beforehand.

Also, my exams went really well and I'm super happy about that. 💖

Hey Anon! 👋🏾

Thanks for your confession!

First of all, CONGRATULATIONS in getting into Dartmouth! That's awesome! 😃 Isn't that an Ivy League school? Anyway, congrats on your accomplishments.

In answer to your question, I can see why a lot of people tend to say that if Canada and the US are fairly similar. I'll admit, when I was in Canada on vacation it DID remind me a lot of the US. I almost forgot that I was in a totally different country lol.

We're part of the same continent, so it's not surprising.

But with regards to the US, I think you don't have to be too worried. Sometimes, people can make things seem worse than they are simply becaues they only see the bad things online or on the news. Guns and violence don't equal the entire country of the United States. Yes, things will probably be different for you (you will be in a totally different country), but I don't think it will be as much of a culture shock to you as say someone who's going to a country where the language is totally different, or the demographics are totally different, etc.

You will be in New Hampshire (??) I believe??? So I think you will be just fine. I 've never been to New Hampshire, but it just always seems so pretty, tranquil, and very outdoorsy when I've seen pictures.

To me, that state seems to be pretty low-key. You barely hear of news-worthy stuff even happening in New Hampshire lol. 😅 Which is a good thing! lol

Yes, we Americans can be pretty gun-happy lol, but it's not like people are walking around just showing guns or pointing them in your face everywhere you go lol. 😅

I think you will be fine actually! Most people will probably be very curious about you since you're coming from a different country that's like our neighbor lol.

Try to make friends, join groups, or find some people who share your common interests. I think I would be more concerned for you if you were coming from Canada and maybe going to NYC or something, where the culture can be a total culture SHOCK to some people lol. But New Hampshire seems to be pretty low-key?

Based on the pictures, it sounds like you're going to a beautiful University and location! 😃

[postoctobrist]

hi alice!! here to share my gender as well as sexuality (or lack thereof). i'm nonbinary, i go between 'i like being nonbinary so much and i will get very frustrated when someone misgenders me, which happens often' and 'i don't really feel like anything, is there even a point in self-identifying as nonbinary?'. i don't have a lot of body dysphoria i think, my hips bother me and the idea of going on t or getting top surgery sounds nice to me, but i feel like getting past all the medical gatekeeping (and probably having to lie to doctors in order to get the treatment i would like) might not be worth it?? idk. sometimes i think about just being a cis woman, but that thought never really computes, like i can't fully imagine myself in those terms. i kinda just want to be masc-androgynous with body hair and sideburns but then i'm like What If I Transition And Regret It lol. my feelings about sexuality are simpler: i'm basically as asexual as possible. ive never had sex and i've honestly never been horny in my life. sex is kinda like going on a rollercoaster to me: something i've heard great things about and would love to try someday just to experience what it's like. but while i've had the chance to go on rollercoasters before, sex just feels like something i am physically incapable of. like i've tried masturbating and it never does anything for me (except maybe making me have to pee). ive thought about asking a doctor about whether my junk just doesn't work. should probably do that. anyway thanks for sharing all these asks, they're fun to read and it's nice to know that there are people who do transition stuff more because they feel like it than because of intense dysphoria :) as far as kink stuff goes, as i said i don't really have any experience with sex stuff but i could probably be some sort of henchman in one of the kidnapping scenarios people keep sending you. like, opening the car door for you to get pushed inside the car with your hands tied, guarding the interrogation room door, fetching handcuffs or strange-looking firearms for your kidnapper to threaten you with if that helps?

As far as gender goes, ‘I don’t really feel anything about it but I kind of want to transition a bit’ is a) a perfectly sufficient reason to transition b) sometimes kind of hiding actually feeling quite a lot about it but not knowing that until you start

There’s no harm in getting a doctor to look at you, and it might also be connected to not feeling very gender, but you can just be asexual and that is valid too

[wheelie-hurting]

hi there!! disabled American teenager here.

in case you haven't heard, the us is an actual hellscape right now, and I know i will not be able to live here as an adult with all of the consequences of capitalism (i will not be able to work as an adult. i don't know what else to do).

so uh. would you mind giving a review of what it's like living in Sweden as a disabled person? like, can you live on disability? (we can't here, lmao.) how long are the healthcare waits? how ableist is society as a whole there? and accessibility and stuff? also, learning swedish would cost too many spoons; does the majority of the population know English?

you don't have to answer this ask if you aren't comfortable, but if you do, I've pretty much narrowed down my list of possible countries to move to to Iceland, New Zealand, and Sweden, so if any other disabled person sees this who lives in one of those countries or has suggestions, it would be greatly appreciated :)

hey!

okay so i can only speak from my experiences, so keep that in mind!

applying for disability benefits isn’t that hard, you can do so through your general health care doctor for physical health reasons and psych doctor for mental health reasons. they’ll fill it in for you and you just have to answer the questions verbally (that’s what i did). this request goes to försäkringskassan, and i got answer pretty quick that i got approved. you can apply for three years at a time if i remember correctly, but they do want you to get rehabilitated so that you eventually can do work to some extent, but you can keep applying. i don’t know much about what happens if you get denied though since that hasn’t happened to me yet thankfully lmao. they also do semi regular check ins during the time you’ve been approved for. for me, they want me to do PT & DBT before i eventually go back to work (and if i’ll even be able to lol), so they do call sometimes to ask how things are going. they are generally annoying but yeah, which government agency isn’t?

the waiting lists are terrible here, they can be incredibly long, i waited 2 years to get into the gender clinic, and that’s actually a short time from what i’ve heard. i haven’t had to get referred to something for my physical health yet (thought i am waiting for that lol), so i don’t know what the general waiting times are for that, but i’m guessing those are long too.

i haven’t had super bad encounters with ableists thankfully, it’s mostly my therapist and the doctors i’ve met that has treated me like shit for wanting pain management (and because i’m fat but that’s a whole other issue). doctors here are incredibly reluctant to give pain medications in my experience, even when i had a 10/10 pain at the ER they wouldn’t give me anything, despite me not being able to walk and screaming whenever i moved around. i’ve only had one good doctor who actually cared about me and my pain, she did prescribe me gabapentin which has helped immensely. it took 5 or something tries to get them to listen to me. so a general rule here is to never give up, and keep fucking nagging the doctors until they care lmao. so yeah, ableist (and fatphobic) doctors is a problem here. i can’t come up with more examples except that most people think that chronic disabilities go away with exercise lmao.

accessibility is different depending on where you live, and i can mostly just speak on where i live. big issue: we do not have public transportation in my town, which is often a necessary thing for some disabled people (who can’t drive etc.). thankfully i have a car, without it i would never leave my home. also in my town, most apartment buildings have the apartments one half floor up aka stairs, there aren’t many buildings in my town that has elevators. the ones with elevators are considered more luxurious here and i’ve noticed they usually have higher rent too lmao. but also i live in a smaller town, so there aren’t many options anyways. if you have specific questions about accessibility feel free to send another ask, because i can’t think of more right now (very tired lol).

and yeah, sweden is a somewhat known for being a good english speaking country if i remember correctly, don’t know the exact rating though. the people who aren’t that good are usually 50+, most young people know english well. swedish is a hard language to learn, but it’s not super super important since for most things you can ask for english i think. but it might be worth trying to learn swedish in your own pace if you’re planning to move here. i’m not sure about how citizenship stuff works here, and if knowing swedish is a requirement.

in general sweden is a decent country, there are a lot of issues but it could be worse. i personally don’t mind living here, things have worked out for me, disability wise and stuff like that.

and to my fellow swedes: feel free to add on to this, and how your experiences has been like!

[invisiblegarters]

Hidden Agenda Ep 4

Even though no one will see this because tumblr still hates me and support is ignoring me, I am determined to keep going for my own sake.

I am really annoyed though, at this point. So that will probably creep in. Apologies beforehand if anyone does actually stumble upon this. I am not good at dealing with frustration, and this whole thing is like trying to interact with people through a two way mirror. I can see you but you can't see me, and it doesn't matter how much I wave or try to get your attention, it just doesn't happen. I hate it.

Anyway. Moving on.

HAHAHA oh I love the only one bed trope.

Aw he's a regular. That's cute.

"Why did you want to come with me?" Zo. Seriously. ZO.

"You are my dear student" are you fucking kidding me with this.

AOU. I mean, JENG. Yaaaay! HI, hi, hi! Does that mean a wild Boom - I mean, Pok - will soon appear?

Yes. Yes it does. Pfft and everyone thought that they were a secret couple. Apparently not so much, I'm dying.

Why the dramatic music? I am so confused. Is Pok using my darling to try to make Zo jealous? Because if so I will be irritated. Or is Zo just pissy because now there are three whole people on his trip with him?

Liveblogging is so stressful I should stop (I won't stop).

Gonna say I feel like Zo is probably just bothered Pok didn't trust him enough to tell him about Jeng.

And yep. There it is. He's just hurt that he found out by accident. My dude, sometimes it's not about you. Although I do get him feeling awkward about the way he found out.

Ah, it's about Nita. Well, you did drag her to the library under false pretenses and then read her a myth that had nothing to do with the help you said you needed and got weird about it. I'm on Team Nita in that interaction, Zo.

Although as an overanalytical person myself I do deeply understand the way Zo has gotten into his head here. And okay I probably just have The Eclipse on the brain (when don't I, really) but this is so very soft!Akk & Aye coded, lol. Zo is the over analytical one who cares way too much about other people and Joke is the one who cares about himself and his people and thinks that Zo should focus more on himself.

Ha so Joke is afraid of heights. I would love to walk on a glass floor like this. I've done so other places and it is a trip. I love it. But I have never had a height thing so that probably helps.

Aw yes Zo get handsy while helping Joke with his fear. We like that. Him physically stopping Joke from looking down...we love to see it.

Oh they are cute on their little date. Zo better cotton on to the fact that it's a date soon. We already know he's now aware of his own attraction and Joke...is not subtle.

No I want to know what a boomerang is too. I am not hip with the social media stuff and this is the second time I have heard this boomerang thing.

I am going to have to google it aren't I?

Aw, Zo. Okay I'm really warming up to him this ep. And I have said it before, but I think that Dunk has really improved. He lost a lot of the little quirks that drove me nuts in SIMM and he's way more natural here, less stiff and like he isn't sure where to move his limbs at any given moment.

Oh my gosh this phone thing is too much for me. It's cute but aaah no too much.

My gosh this dude is so smitten please someone put him out of his misery. It's up to you, Zo.

Ah okay so it is a hidden relationship, just not from friends. I'm guessing family stuff? Does that mean it'll rear its head with Joke too? Will that be our central conflict (if we have one)?

This is making me hungry. I really need to make something to eat before watching these shows.

Hahaha oh Zo. Honey.

Ah, so it's that he doesn't want to be picked on by his straight friends. Man, this is so different from Max I kind of love it. And I really hope that they talk because this kind of thing can break a relationship. I have said this before but it doesn't matter how much you love each other, if one person wants to be out and another can't or won't be, it can easily breed resentment that will slowly strangle the relationship.

Oh no I see a guitar.

Please don't sing, please don't sing, please don't sing.

"Expressing your feelings doesn't make you weak" - louder for the people in the back, please.

Don't sing! Don't you do it! Don't you -

Sigh.

Oh at least the second bit was clearly done via studio. Raw singing is usually just not that great. Literally only Gawin has pulled it off recently.

So are they gonna kiss or not this ep, we think? It's not mid series, that will be next ep, so I'm guessing either it cuts out before their lips meet or they get interrupted.

Then again.

Haha but now Zo's gonna go into panic and avoidance mode. Well that's abut what we all expected, I think.

Still cute.

[cassyapper]

Cass I have yet to meet your ocs but they sound incredibly valid sometimes that happens and when it does it is better to have the courage to accept that you've just got new characters on your hands instead of denying it until your dying day.

Please OCpost if you ever feel like it we wanna see the guys!

HI ANON THANK YOU SO MUCH <3333

im still drafting everything out but i can give quick intro stuff for the guys i have some old art for (i technically began drafting this story in like 2019 but then The Jojoing occurred so i literally havent thought of them at all in the past 3 years until the past couple of months i've been able to devote Some brain power to them (just some))

we got the main character ai (wipe name but i might keep it as it is actually everyday i warm up to it more):

she's blind as u can see in her right eye. this happened when she was young though so despite this she is a veyr skilled swordswoman. in the same raid that blinded her, she and her mother lost sight of her brother, qiu (wip name). ai wanted to look for him but her mother, after already losing ai and qiu's father in the same incident, just grabbed her daughter and ran. ai never really forgives her for this and she's very bitter and upset about everything. when she grows up she joins the military so that she has a means by which to travel -- she doesnt really care about fighting or national identity, she just wants to find her brother, and she gets paid to do it this way, so....

ai is. a bit of a dick. she has a short temper and a big attitude and it's hard for her to get close to ppl (not that she like actively tries to avoid it but she just is hard to get along with LOL). she's jsut very narrowminded on finding her brother. despite this she doesnt want anyone hurt esp not kids so she does protect in comrades which is probs the only reason she hasn't been kicked out of the army for insubordination LOL

this is qiu. what happened to him during the raid is he lost his leg essentially but a dragon nearby heard the commotion going on and when she came to check it out, saw qiu being cornered by a solider and so she killed the soldier, cauterized his leg wound, and carried him to her cave to care for (dragons are sentient in this universe btw). qiu was very young at the time (like 7) and now newly traumatized and the dragons dont like humans as a general rule anyway so allll that combined made him honestly very nervous to return to human society so he asked if he could just stay with her and she was like aw. yeah sure. so he's basically just learning magic with his dragon sibs (mama dragon had some hatchlings) and chilling. lol. he's a bit blunt cause he doesnt know shit about social norms at all. he's a good student. he's very friendly. he's not really naive he just vibes is all. very relaxed

this is adalia, ai's unofficial protege. she's technically not in the army yet but she is training to be a soldier and she looks up to ai a lot. she's very young and very silly. she has a big fat crush on the princess. she kills a man at a pivotal point in the story

this is arha! she is a solider as well but there's a twist that im not revealing yet to it. she's very smart and gets a lot of her kicks by being contrarian and basically she's kakyoin. LOL. she hasnt really made friends with people until ai/adalia/william and it's smth she's still learning abt how to handle (maintaining a relationship that is). she and ai meet and fall into a homosexual in nature dynamic and arha is both veyr frustrated cause ai is so impulsive and very enamored cause ai cares so deeply and just god she has never seen someone wear their heart on their sleeve and yet be so angry about it. she wants to study ai on a lab table

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST....I DONT HAVE ART OF HIM...WAHH...but william is basically ai's commanding officer. he is the oldest but also the most naive of the group funnily enough. he's competent enough to be a decent rank in the military but too kind to be high ranking. he's not really a father figure but he does come to be family to ai. smiles

ANYWAY THAT'S THE GUYS. the setting is veyr fantasy as im sure u have gathered. theyre sillay

[fandomfluffandfuck]

mr s i have a tmi question: since u hve experiences with casual sex, i was wondering how one... eases another person into it? as an awkward ace person ive certainly had opportunities to get into it but ive just refused bc im not rly into it, yknow? so my actual question is if u had any advice on how to initiate w ppl u know irl without sounding too forward? (i guess? u can tell i have no idea how any of this works lol lack of attraction is difficult to navigate)

That's a good question. I don't think it's TMI, lol. It's more just a relationship question to me, haha. Either way, I'm down to talk about it!

First story time, just for shits and giggles:

It depends on who you're having casual sex with, obviously. Some people I've heard of having hard, specific rules and some people have a similar experience to me where it was just... super casual. If there was anything up, we would just talk. We were friends. It's fun. It feels good. It's all chill, y'know?

I've had had a friends with benefits type relationships with two people--both women.

The first time it happened, we had been forming a friendship for a little bit, but we weren't super close or anything. Once, she straight up asked me if I was a virgin (which, in general, yuck, I dislike that terminology so much but whatever) when we were hanging out alone. That dissolved into conversation about sex in general. We came to the conclusion that we were both sex positive and both enjoyed sex. She told me that she had missed sex since she'd broken up with her boyfriend a while ago and hadn't gone out and hooked up with people after or anything. She didn't want to go out and just hook up. Fair enough.

I, half as a joke, half, just, why not said that we could have sex if she ever felt like it. We were friends, and I didn't want to date her, but we got along well so far, plus she was pretty. Why not?

She laughed at first, then asked me if I was serious at all. I told her, yeah, sure, if she wanted to. And... things kind of went from there.

We still talk sometimes, but she moved away, and while I have a lot of friends that are long distance so I'm fine texting and calling. It's not her speed. I have no hard feelings about it. If I'm ever where she is or she's here, I'm sure we'll get together to hang out.

And screwing around with her wasn't an all the time, like, weekly thing. We never met up specifically to fuck around, we would just hang out and then end up fucking occasionally.

(She was a fucking bomb kisser and I have to say she wore very pigmented makeup that would sometimes run and I- I can not tell you how much of A Thing I have for ruining pretty girl's makeup (or anyone's makeup for that matter 😏). It just looks so good messed up. Especially lipstick or eyeshadow/mascara. Jesus.)

The second time it happened, I met this woman in class, so we weren't friends prior. Friendly. But I didn't know her too well. We had talked in class, just chatting, and she emailed me for help on a few assignments because we were put into a cohort for peer-review stuff. Her voice was, just, gorgeous. And she was really smart. She wants to be a teacher. I could probably listen to her to talk for hours. Maybe if we'd gotten to know each other better, we could've dated or something, but we didn't. She graduated at the end of the term and moved onto her new, post-college life. I totally get it.

Anyway, she would compliment me here and there--she liked my hair, my eyes, the rings I wear, and some other stuff. She was really pretty herself, so I'd just reciprocate. Not exactly flirting but also not not flirting, haha.

I asked her if she had a partner, between asking about her life, generally, after we'd finished our work for peer review stuff once. She said she didn't and she asked if she could kiss me. I told her that sounded good. So we kissed, and then we actually went back to working, lmao. No funny business.

We kissed more the next time we met up outside of class. Literally, just taking a break from studying.

And, I don't know... dating never came up? It was one of those situations where we were alone and were kissing and more or less doing some heavy petting. Then it seemed just like it'd be a good time to keep going and I do like eating pussy, so I offered, she said yes. She actually complimented me on my skills the same way she had complimented me before and I laughed because... who wouldn't? She was sweet.

Then, the next time we got together, she asked if I'd do it again. She exchanged phone numbers and fucked around a few more times. Not too many times, though.

Funnily enough, I think my favorite thing that happened between us was when we were in class, and I licked my lips because... yeah. Sometimes you do. And she jabbed her fingers into my side to make me stop 💀💀 I choked, trying not to laugh too hard in front of everyone (and we did go to her car after class 👀).

(Also, I just have to confess that she was so, so good. She would stay still if I told her to, even when I went down on her. She also would stay basically silent if I told her to make not sounds, no matter what I did to her 👀 It was fucking incredible.)

Second, advice:

Again, it depends on the person. Some people want the straightforward version where there is an agreement, a conversation, and some people probably are more just about letting things flow naturally.

If you feel like you want a direct conversation, it might be better to just have that direct conversation so you can find someone who wants the same thing, so there would be the least amount of confusion possible. If you're content to let it flow... I don't know. That's harder. You can wait for conversations that shift in the direction of sex or push conversations that way.

I mean, maybe don't go, "hey, have you heard of this thing called causal sex? We should do that!" But you also could. Whatever you feel like.

If someone doesn't want to or refuses, that's them. They're allowed to say no. Try not to feel too defeated or rejected. There's a million reasons someone might not want to. It doesn't need to be a result of something with you. Y'know? (Not that I think you'll have a problem with that, knowing you've turned down causal sex yourself.)

If I were you, though, I think I might go for the direct conversation. Being on the ace spectrum makes sexuality different from allosexual people, obviously, and if you're going to fuck around with allosexual people it may come in handy to lay out, hey, this is what's going on with me, these are the feelings I have.

The people I've casually fucked have all known that I have a weird thing with sex where there needs to be some type of kink or power dynamic or something more than just strictly "vanilla sex" for me to be interested because... I don't know, that's just how I work 🤷🏻‍♂️ That and I'm not immediately in for being gotten off during sex. Sure, it's nice, but I'd much rather be getting the other person off. It's just more fun. And having said those things out loud to those women, it was much more fun because of that.

In conclusion... did I help? Or did I just tell you stories about the people I've fucked? I don't know. Hopefully, I helped. Or, hopefully, I at least gave you something to think about.

P.S. Everyone is awkward, you'll be okay, sweetheart!

[look-at-the-soul]

Hi! It's gossip girl!!❤️❤️ I'm glad your finally free!!! Tumblr really needs to get its life together!! Also happy late birthday!! I was gone for a bit and saw all the stuff about it a bit late but I hope you had a a amazing birthday!!❤️❤️❤️ 

And lol😂 I usually do remember sunscreen but this time me and my friends left a bit late and I didn't grab it😂 but after about a week of aloe Vera it's back to normal😂 And yeah I'm glad watching the pups went well!! Pups ARE the best! They are always so funny and cuddly!

And it's totally alright!! You didn't keep me waiting at all! You're always totally good with the time between!! It's never too long anyway!! And I did actually make more progress on some of my WIPs so that's good! I about doubled the word count of the Micheal story I've been working on for a bit but it's still not done😂 But the idea I'm actually the closest to completes is a random Bob x reader from Top Gun that's been stuck in my head and I wanted to finally write out even though I've only done Peaky stuff up to now😂 I did also kinda give in and end up making a mini second account to post random stuff and try to get back to interacting more, but it's still mainly me putting out small things and hiding again😂 

And for who I'm trying to get idk😂 maybe all the spam/p*rn bots that seem to be showing up in my tags😂 Tumblr bans the innocent but does nothing to stop those it seems🥲

And OH NO! That's would be terrible and scary to lose that many files and such😭😭 I hope your boss back then was able to  take responsibility for it though and didn't like blame you for his mistake! I've heard horror stories of that happening before! I'm sorry you had to restart it from the last save😭 I'm still at the point where I save and save as every now and then but for the most part I only have one copy:/. It'll probably screw me over done day though😂

And I love the idea of your Mary Poppins bag! I have something similar in my car!! It's got all the stuff I need incase I'm out and don't have it and too far from my dorm! My other bags are usually just a full but only contain multiple fidget objects or random items and pens I've found 😂 which surprisingly my random objects have come in handy at times so I can justify keeping them😂

And I'm not actually sure how the one of tests went😂 my teacher still hasn't given back the grade! He was supposed to and then my school closes down for the tropical storm again (which basically ended up missing our area so we're good) and we didn't have class that day!😂 But my other test went well and I got and A on it! So i did bit of a longer break due to the storm but I still can't wait for thanksgiving break in like a week😂 And I guess it was good that your plans to study elsewhere didn't move right before the pandemic! I can imagine how stressful that would have been! Maybe if you wanted to if would be better now, I guess the world has somewhat settled down a bit (in some degrees...)  I'm glad your week was good! I hope you got some good rest too and got around what needed to be❤️❤️

As always it was fun to interact with you❤️❤️ Lots of love! Xoxo!

Hi GG!!!

It’s good to be back!!! See @ staff? I didn’t do anything wrong 😇 I just post smut from time to time… 🙈 🥳 thank you sm for your kind wishes darling! I did ☺️💕 it was lovely to get all that love in here you know?

Oh no!!! Hope you got some nice tan at least? I gave up years ago, I looked like a sick ghost at 10 yo, will look like a sick wrinkled ghost at 84 yo so I don’t even try to get a nice color anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ Oh I just LOVE dogs, have you seen those pup videos from car to car stopping over just to say hiiiii? I’m that kind of person 🤣🐶

I’m so glad because let me tell you a secret, sometimes I feel bad for not answering sooner! But between work, my 🐶🐶, writing, reading, etc sometimes I think I did something only to realize I did it only but in my mind, and when I look back, boom it’s been 5 days since I got the message. Sooooo you’re a Michael fan, what are your thoughts about that end? I’m happy to hear that you are working on your stories!!

I’m terrible at Top Gun stories (I hope I don’t disappoint you, but I never saw the movies 🙈🙊) but either way, it’s so so good to hear you’re getting inspiration, I hope you write this one!! ☺️ @ zablife writes TG stories, if you haven’t seen that account, I highly recommend. Ohhh how come you have a second account and I don’t even know about the first one??? 😋 don’t worry if you want to keep under the anon profile it’s all good!

You’re right, sometimes with the new tags content I get post promoted and I’m like tf? 😳 at something really explicit, and some friends got posts deleted over nothing, guess they are part of us sadly…

Haha I wish! No, I had to keep working on from where the file froze… luckily by then I had mastered the formulas, it’s alright, stuff like that happens and since then, I learned to not let my boss work around my excel 🤪 and make like 3 copies just in case he came to mess it up. Oh well if so far you’ve made it, it’s all good 😉

I recently added a small hair brush (travel size) to my bag, and a little “tide to go” for you know food accidents 🤣 soon I will need a bigger bag if I keep adding things. But yes, it’s so useful when you need something, specially a student like you, bet you have lots and lots of things for your notes 😊

How did the test go? I hope that by now you got a good grade back! Oh no, everything good with the tropical storm? Hopefully it didn’t leave lots of damage, and yay!!!! Congratulations for that A! ✨👏🏻👏🏻 Well done! Happy (belated) thanksgiving!!! Did you go back home for the holiday? Are you buying something from the crazy sales? The stores were so full last week!

Yeah, because I was planning to quit my job and just go to Boston 😂 life: sure haha now I have chickened out to be honest, I’m thinking I don’t know of different plans now like getting my own place, so maybe something online would be more fitting… who knows? 🤷🏻‍♀️ With everything that happened I decided to try to not make lots of plans (of course not getting on the irresponsible side either). Thank you it was 🤗 Hope you week was good and your weekend is even better!

Thanks for the chat! It’s lovely to ‘see’ you here 💙 sending back lots and lots of love your way! Ps don’t forget your sunscreen 😉 xx

[alainstout]

When is enough, actually enough?

When are you enough, now already or after something?

Is it now what's the way life is or after something?

Have recorded 5 songs this week and 40 waiting, but nobody cares about that.

They only want to see things.

Plus it's better not to talk about it, just do it.

There's possibly not someone even reading this, so I can speak freely.

I feel like making music is my purpose.

Is what I found out.

Even when I like other things too.

Sometimes I'm sad and sometimes uplifted.

You make the song at a particular moment.

A moment later you can not even feeling like the moment you wrote the song lol.

Is what makes it funny.

And interesting. It do reliefs though.

I've done at least a couple of 10.000 of hours in music and writing in my life.

Life was preparing me, needed some other experiences as well.

Also some things I do is comedy like coco jumbo.

I mean if you see things in a movie 🎬, you're going to do that too? No [hope so]

Same for when a comedian cracks jokes nobody takes it serious.

It's just to detach from the daily grind.

To forget problems for a moment.

For the listener and for me.

Just cracking some jokes.

(Janine, my cat was lost for 1 week [again] came back last night. Thank God.)

I do feel like I'm on a streak in terms of music.

Like now is my time.

It will be very diverse from pop, R&B to club and rap.

Even some country and Jazz vibes and tunes.

Everything I like and feel good about.

So I'm maybe more a musician, than a rapper. Or an artist.

Or a creator or I just can't be boxed.

No labels.

Unlabel according to Marc Eckō.

Times are challenging but nobody can care.

Everyone goes through stuff.

As long as you stay pure, stick to a true heart.

Whatever happens.

POWER OF NOW DOES DO MIRACLES

And I wrote a song about it.

Overthinking was maybe my problem too sometimes.

So power of now is very helpful and useful for me.

From the core essence, I've always right intentions and want good for anyone despite what. So I've said it.

You know who you are.

Opinions from other people are never important because nobody can know but you.

Whatever I create, it's just art.

You also don't judge a painter's character by his paintings. Those 2 are separate.

So you cannot know if you like my music or not because nobody have heard these 50 songs who are waiting.

And 50 more to come.

Or God knows how much.

Plus I've so much waiting that there's always something that someone likes.

Art and person are separate and also a little bit aligned. I don't know...

I'm also more feeling like how would a human be in his purest form, like when we were cave dwellers.

When there are no rules, peer pressure, social expectations.

Just pure, in the beginning we even hadn't any thoughts so much. Because there's was barely a language.

There were only feelings.

Power of Now. Present moment.

Subconscious mind.

Self Awareness.

Anyways.

He woke up in complete freedom no stress of to pay or whatever.

Nobody tells him or her what to or what not to do.

Just wake up, build something, a new home or parts of it.

Maybe helping the group, the tribe, with some preparations.

Or his family.

Or going out to hunt some food.

When there's food caught maybe exchange it with someone for some rice.

And that's life.

Pure essence.

That's how I love to think, feel and live.

And then be here and now and just start to enjoy life...

[rharyx]

Follow up to this post, where I started cataloging my Final Fantasy journey.

Crisis Core I watched a playthrough back in high school cuz I thought Zack was cool as shit and I loved the theme music, but I never actually played it. But since I finally played 7, I knew I had to follow it up with this, and I went with the Reunion remake since I heard the combat is a lot better. Which I guess it is? I can't compare it to the original since I never played it, but the combat here was real fun and snappy -- I spent hours just doing side missions. And of course the story was as good as I remember it. Only downside is Zack's new actor is nowhere near as good as his original, and that really brings it down a tad. But it still doesn't kick Zack out of my "Top 5 FF characters" list. Also, I always liked Genesis, which I guess a lot of people don't? But I think he's just so funny. Like he actually stops his mission to kill Hojo or whatever to info-dump Loveless lore on everyone in the room. Dude's so weird, I hope he's in the remake trilogy. I think a 8/10 is fair.

Final Fantasy IV Took me a bit to finish this one since stuff got in the way. Not really much to say about this one, though, I guess. The story was good, and some areas and events were cool (like the giant robot thing), with lots of characters who show up and do their thing then leave. Cecil is pretty cool, Kain sure is a guy, and I like Rydia a decent amount. Love how that dude Edge is just straight up called Edge though lmao -- I imagined him having a sort of Johnny Bravo/Might Guy voice, which really elevated his character in my head. But otherwise, the whole game was a pretty standard affair. I kinda thought the vehicle stuff was pretty interesting -- like how you had to use the hoverboat, to get to the ship, to get to the better ship, etc. That was neat in its own way. Fuck the final boss, though, that shit felt unfair. 6/10, I guess? Definitely the mainline FF I've been least into so far, but it's still nowhere a "bad" game.

Final Fantasy XII I heard this was one divisive, but I don't see how? Like, this was really good. I did hear the original release was pretty bad compared to the Zodiac version I was playing, which made me think...... Between 12's initial release, 14's initial release, and 15's initial release...is 16 the first mainline game in over a decade that came out completely fine without needing an overhauled re-release or oodles of DLC to smooth things over in some way?? (I haven't played 13 yet, so that may have been fine upon release.) Anyway, to speak of the game itself, the License Board and Gambit System was really interesting and I kinda hope they bring it back in some way in the future, cuz I love tedious grindy stuff like that where you slowly fill up an ability grid (reminded me of the Sphere Grid, kinda). And the story -- while sometimes feeling really overwhelming with the amount of terms and names I had to memorize -- was well structured and I like how everyone's stories wrapped up by the end. Vaan is truly not a protagonist though, is he? lol. If anything, Ashe was the main character of this story, which I did kinda fuck with, even if she's not one of my favorite characters from the game. Also, I loved how many areas and differing locales we went to on the journey. I wasn't expecting such an array of distinct and visually engaging locations. One thing, though...why did half the voice over audio sound like it was being recorded through a soup can? It was so weirdly mixed. Like, you get used to it, but what happened?? Anyway, as a FF14 fan I though it was neat to see where all the Ivalice inspiration came from, and overall the game was really enjoyable to play. I've definitely not scratched the surface when it comes to the optional content, like Espers or whatever, but idk if I'll ever have the time to complete all that anyway. But for the main game itself, definitely a solid 8/10. Maybe even an 8.5.

Not sure what to do next, maybe try V once it goes on sale. Or probably just jump into Remake and Rebirth.

[icharchivist]

Watching the hbomberguy video finally (it's long and I didn't have time previously) and I just had such a bizarre experience.

Because I used to know Illuminaughty. Or rather, I'd heard of her in passing. I used to keep "people reading Reddit posts" videos on as background noise (and yes, I know it's low effort shit and I fell off at some point, but hey. It was a fad) and she came up in a playlist and I watched half a video before switching to something else, mainly because I disliked her presentation, it's difficult to explain and it's been years, so that doesn't help.

Then, a few weeks ago, before the hbomb went off, I saw a video on my home screen that had her in the title. It was one of those drama YouTuber videos he'd mentioned, making a video cannibalizing his Tweet and everything. By that point I hadn't even known Blaire did video essays and I only really clicked on the video because I vaguely remembered her name. But the video was just talking about some tweets and didn't provide any context and it was just too vague, so I clicked off again, none the wiser.

Anyway, started watching the hbomberguy video and I'm finally getting that context for everything, it feels so good!

Sorry if that's not relevant to anything, it just hit me like a pile of bricks. My vibe checks are immaculate, apparently.

Source: trust me bro

YOU'RE ALL GOOD NO WORRIES

first of all, no harm with being """late""" (hell you're not even that late, it's a few days old, it's nothing lmao), it's a super long video with a lot of content and honestly, i'm more surprised that this video took the internet by storm as fast as it did. I mean, it's a good thing considering the subject matter, but i did not expect it. (i've been following hbomberguy for years personally and i always wait for his videos with bated breath, i genuinely didn't expect the whole internet to react to this one as well. but i guess it also kinda happened to the previous video he posted. good for him!)

second, no wonder you felt like rambling about it, it IS quite a wild experience. I think there's something so eerie about seeing something you were kinda aware of from afar and then suddenly seeing it all come to light like this. Especially that way.

i rambled a bit myself so lol

(also while it's true the content kinda suck i do not think that people have to like... watch only perfect intellectualism content all the time. sometimes some dumb shit to keep in the background helps a lot just to have a bit of company. I think it's important to be mindfull of content mills but it's no use beating oneself up about it).

since i follow hbmb for years, i actually saw the Illuminaughty debacle he talked about live when it happened, since he replied to her back then and some creators i followed addressed it then. There is a whoooole lot of others things wrong with Blair on the problematic side that Harris didn't touch because he was focusing on the plagiarism, but it was a ride in itself.

But the timing in which you were reminded of Illuminaughty right before the video is truly one of a kind. because the whole debacle had died down a bit since then, so it was truly quite the timing??? the universe preparing you for this...

and if you're just starting the video you can stop here but i have more thoughts about it about the second half of the video, but the tldr is that i had the same reaction as you, but on the later part:

And also, like, i feel you because somewhat same but with James Somerton. He's been in my recommanded a lot on youtube, but i never watched his videos because a lot of the topics he talked about were things i had already read about, and i didn't really feel like hearing someone else's opinion about it. (though after watching hbomb's video, considering some of the stuff he plagiarized *are* the stuff i heard those topics from to start with.... really adds to it all.). I think i watched ONE video, and i genuinely don't remember what it was, but i remembered thinking it was kinda surface level and i didn't really like his take then.

But i shrugged it off thinking it's just some creators i didn't vibe with, it happens. just because a creator is queer doesn't mean their takes will resonate with me on that point, so i moved on with my life.

but then James Somerton picked some fights on Twitter a while ago against a handful of youtuber i follow, especially Jessie Gender, and i was genuinely so angry on her behalf that i kinda blacklisted Somerton in my mind back then.

for those who don't know, Somerton made a whole public drama on twitter about how Nebula "faked being queer friendly" but "refused to reach out to him and inviting him in" which means they were actually super homophobic and never actually cared for queer people. Which is a BEWILDERING thing to broadcast considering how many of the funders AND video makers of Nebula are LGBT+.

Jessie Gender called him out gently about it on twitter (because Jessie is always really sweet and calm about things), telling him that as a trans woman, she disagreed with his reading of it fully and no platform has given her the freedom to express her experience like Nebula did, and she hoped to reach out to him to discuss what exactly where the Nebula returns that made him feel that and if there was something that could be done about it.

And Somerton then immediately went on about how because of Jessie, he got hundreds of homophobic death threats and that it was the real face of Nebula, and why his fans needed to boycott Nebula. Jessie got *mad* harassed out of it. she had a very hard time following that.

(she recently made a video about the Somerton issues following hbomb' video - i didn't have the time to watch it yet but i definitely need to see if she addresses it since she mentioned it on her twitter a couple of times since then)

And it was genuinely horrible to see. I've seen so many trans creators and others LGBT creators trying to reason with Somerton and Somerton dug his heels insulting them and putting himself as the victim of an homophobic campaign and having his fans harass the trans creators who called him out, as well as the fem-presenting or afab LGBT+ creators who called him out. (like in insight it was obviously misogyny. he includes trans women in his misogyny but he also treats anyone afab as women to start with. In insight it truly is the man so misogynist that he has to broad his definition of a woman in order to hate as many of them as possible, even when he's wrong and those people aren't women (speaking of the trans men and nb people he misgendered in his search for misogyny, to be clear)) It was a horrible debacle.

Turns out that Jessie had actually tried to invite Somerton into a discord server with Nebula's people so he could eventually make his case here, but he refused to join then, and then he threw Nebula under the bus on twitter -- and turns out Nebula wasn't actually considering him because of the plagiarism' claims against him they wanted to investigate (Harris being a major voice of Nebula to start with. also similarly, it may also be why Todd in the Shadows, also a major voice of Nebula, was pulling his own investigation on Somerton (that he published after Harris' videos))

Like i'm not going at it with "it's obvious Somerton was a fraud", don't get me wrong, i just didn't vibe with the guy and found the little of his content to be so surface level it looked like any random tumblr post you could read (which,imo, i think a lot of the things Harris might not have found being obviously plagiarised, probably came from tumblr, since it's harder to find the source of posts there). I was just very angry at the twitter thing that happened, so i remembered his name and kinda flagged him in my brain as "this gay dude who only cares about his own letter in the LGBT+ community".

So huh. going into Harris' video, i did expect the Illuminaughti stuff because the drama was fresh in my brain and all. But when i saw the Somerton bit i was just "holy shit WAIT FOR REAL???" and i've stayed in shock the whole time.

I think even without knowledge of any of these people, the video is a bombshell in the way we interreact with content especially on youtube. but knowing even slightly anything about the content he's talking about makes it all more eerie and bewildering.

So i totally feel you on being super weirded out that this creator you kinda crossed path with but never was super involved in suddenly returns to hit you in the face like this. it's a really weird experience so i feel you 100%

so no worries about that and i'm glad you're watching the video and are learning something out of it! i do think it's more than just drama and it's an important video about the way plagiarism manifest itself and the way this type of people prey on more vulnerable communities to start with. so if the video can also struck a cord in other way, it's a nice thing imo.

so o7 very glad to hear it, and i know i blogged a lot about the video so i get why you felt like talking to me about it.

(but check hbomb' catalogue if you can. the Roblox video is in the same vibe and it's one of my fav video of all time. The Pathologic video he made is a master piece. He has so many good content. Truly worth a watch ;D)

Take care and good luck with the rest!

[diamondeyes-deluxe]

Sometimes I think about this old friend I used to have. I think he was 6 years older than me? And in hindsight this friendship was like a buffet of red flags but nothing really came out of it?

Cw for talk of grooming and mentions of drawn csam

I literally met this guy on 4chan, so... Yeah. First red flag. I was 14 and really into mlp and i drew fanart for it, and he wanted to put together like a fan art collection for a specific niche on the board. We exchanged contact info on it (I know) and just started talking and being friends. So I'm pretty sure he was 20 at this time.

We'd talk about sex pretty frequently? Like not in regards to doing it with each other at all just, sharing turn ons and offs and casually sending each other nsfw things. I was always really open about that kind of stuff even from a young age and they're like the same kind of convos I had with people of my own age too at the time that don't seem unhealthy to me in hindsight. Lots of just raunchy humor too. But I have to wonder if the age gap between us put those conversations in a different context for him.

I even specifically remember him sending me an nsfw drawing one time of a character from a 90s kids cartoon. And I was like "woah isn't that character only like 9 or 10?" And he was like "yeah but it's fine cuz it's a cartoon" and I, at like 15, didn't really know much about this topic and didn't want to argue and possibly push away someone who had become a close friend to me but it felt icky so I was like "hmmm I just don't like that so please don't send me nsfw art of children characters" and he backed off. Years later I realized this is a tactic used by groomers to normalize the concept of underage ppl having sex. But like I had already been sexually active with ppl my own age at this point and just was not attracted to him? So the only thing I felt was "ew please don't do that again."

He'd commission art from me a lot. I wasn't very great at art but he'd consistently commission me, mostly nsfw. I had no problem with that but again in hindsight I wonder if there was an extra layer of enjoyment for him knowing that a 14/15/16 year old was drawing his porn. He even asked me like a few days after I turned 18 if I could draw nsfw art of him and his gf (yeah he had a gf this whole time too) and send me nude photos "for Reference" now that I was "legal". I was like sure and he sent them but I never ended up drawing them.

When I was like 17 or 18 we actually started hanging out irl after realizing he lived close to a family member who I visited every summer. (My family was so paranoid about me "meeting up with a guy you met on 4chan???!!!" And I was like girl relaaaaax it's fineeeee I've been talking to this now 24 year old for 3 years. Lmao. Sorry fam I get it now.)

Nothing ever really happened on these hangouts? He even took me to his house twice but didn't do anything. There was the same raunchy jokes and openness about sex but he didn't ever touch me or afaik try to flirt with me. EXCEPT one time he said something like "you know i always thought if me and [gfs name] weren't together that you and I would go out" n I was like "huh? No silly we're just friends and you're too old for me lol. I've never thought of you like that!" And he never brought it up again.

Anyways we didn't talk as much the next few years because I just kind of ghosted EVERYONE after high school (no object permanence and bad mental health) until eventually when I was 20 he randomly blocked me. Welp. I'm 25 now and haven't heard from him since. Anyway that's my story of how I was probably definitely being groomed but was saved by the power of autistically not realizing he was showing interest in me.