#anyways. back to the pit with me
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friendship, or something like it
#heart art!#af2#adventure forward#cyalm af2#im not tagging the other ones because they are literally paper dolls#anyways. hi. its been 300 years since i last posted. im back into af2 again. the illness#cyalm's relationship with the points is so interesting to me. it drives me nuts#if i was smart i would make like an essay about it but im not so im just gonna say#the fact they genuinely care about the points despite everything they do to them is maybe the best part of af2#mostly because of how i have always interpreted their care: that being of a favorite character rather than a friend#idk if that makes sense. but if you get me you get me#anyways. back to the pit with me#see you all in another 300 years. maybe#idk ive been drawing a lot of yuri maybe youll see that
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Jewish friends.. Stay safe, I love you, please take care of yourself, keep doing your best even though it's hard so often lately. You deserve good days, mutual respect, care and love.
#jumblr#saying what I need to hear tbh#I feel like my old anger has come back a bit lately#and my inability to trust anyone i meet.. too#Like. You know the experience where someone's neurons connect and realize you're Jewish and their whole face changes?#the pit you feel when it's just. visible their feelings about meeting you have changed?#oh boy#anyway goodnight everyone#i hope everyone has a good day even if you're not jewish :) just needed to wish another person like me who's feeling similarly..better time
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god okay. sorry for yet another text post. but i'm just still thinking about the argument that veilguard is bad because the only option re: morality of your player character that it gives is kindness.
Now, to preface. I understand where this criticism comes from. Veilguard IS a departure from the general scheme of the previous games, in several aspects. And i understand how people would be upset at not having quite the same kind of options/ways to influence the world. It took me some getting used to, also.
What i do disagree with, however, is using that to claim that the game is bad, irredeemable, and also meaningless n soft or whatever.
Because it's really not. It's just different, with a different narrative focus. I've played the previous games several times, and as i said before, origins is in first place for me. Veilguard is a very close second. And i'm not more right or wrong in this opinion than someone who thinks datv is the worst game in the series.
You can still make choices that will influence the world in wildly different ways, they're just not... ''genocide or no genocide'' kinds of choices. Which i can see how some people would not consider the difference significant enough to be interesting for them personally. Which is whatever, im not their dad, i dont really care.
However. I think it's kind of weird to say that ''the game made me resent being a nice person'' or that "kindness you dont have the choice not to offer isnt worth a lot"
Like, game criticism aside. That is just an objectively weird thing to say.
There are ways to phrase that particular dissatisfaction in a way that will not make most people side-eye you. This is not one of those ways.
The thing is, it was a deliberate choice in characterization. Since game development at AAA scale is. an incredibly complex beast, i suspect there were many different reasons for it, and not all of them purely narrative. It is also not 2009 anymore. We are not getting another Origins, like, probably ever.
But. Rook is established in the very second cutscene to care about other people. It makes sense narratively, too, with Varric being the one to recruit them. Their backstory also shows that they gravitate towards the 'moral' choices. It's not bad writing. It's deliberate.
That does not mean that everyone has to like it. And i don't think the people who are upset about the change in this gameplay aspect are stupid or wrong.
We are all different people with different preferences, and i really am sorry if the game ended up being a disappointment for you. I know how it feels, and it does suck.
But i also do think it might be worth to examine the way people choose to phrase this complaining. The claim that kindness is somehow diminished in value if you aren't offered the choice to be cruel alongside it. I just think that, like. misses the point of what kindness is?
I know what those people mean when they say it, i just...fundamentally disagree with the sentiment. And i think phrasing it in this way is incredibly weird. sorry 🤷♂️
There is a better way to talk about this particular complaint. I just never actually SEE that being done. and i do think a lot of it comes from not actually engaging with the source material people are trying to criticize. Like, the person i sort of quoted earlier explicitly said they have not finished the game. If you never give something a chance in the first place, if all the information you have is second-hand, then i do not find your criticism valuable in any way. There is no substance to it, no backing. You are not proving a point, you're just chasing your own tail at that point. There isnt even a bone to chew. You've only heard of the bone. you havent actually experienced it.
Another part is people being too twisted up in the emotion of disappointment to actually see that they're not making compelling arguments, necessarily, and that they're actually being a tar pit.
I know not everyone thinks as much about the push towards dismissing the value of kindness for kindness' sake as i do. But like. It really is very weird to see this insistence that game bad bcs it didnt have the option to do a murder to an innocent person, or something. While also dismissing the horrible things we Are shown as 'not in your face enough'.
And honestly, personally? I dont love origins or any of the other ones specifically for the ability to choose the evil options. It's never even been a choice for me, because you can very well play the games without having to make the bad choices. theres always a workaround. And that workaround doesnt even harm u in any significant way. there isnt an actual like. terrible complexity here. I enjoy the dwarf politics quest a lot but ultimately, knowing the outcome? its EASY to choose Bhelen. Unless you're playing a dwarf noble origin, i guess. Rip Harrowmont 🙏 you would have made a terrible king.
And again, my personal opinion is not more right or wrong than that of someone who adored the prev dragon age games exactly because they allow you to make some terrible terrible moral choices.
At the end of the day. why are people still so pissed about a game that came out almost 6 months ago that many of them havent even played in the first place? Relax. take a walk if you can. Maybe move a snail out of the road if you find one. There tends to be a lot of them after it rains. Think about the ones that didn't make it. Try to find compassion for lives so easily dismissed. Maybe that will make you think about whether or not kindness on its own really is so lacking in value.
#valtalks#da fandom critical#dragon age fandom critical#honestly this is just an excuse for me to spread the 'be kind to bugs and other tiny creatures' propaganda#anyway. this is the piss on the poor website so im sure it will be taken out of context eventually yet again#but like. at some point. stop being a tar pit n actually go do something you enjoy#my original post that got vagued i made. admittedly. while being a bit fired up from the sheer ridiculousness of a crit post i saw in the#Main Tags for the game#so maybe i wasnt making my point clearly enough#or maybe they just did not want to actually engage with my point#but like. do you Need to use the main tags for your nothingburger of a complaint?#like youre not even bringing anything valuable to the conversation#cite ur sources or go do something that makes u actually happy#THAT was my point#and kindness IS valuable on its own#and yeah sorry i do think you need to play the game at least once and actually engage with it if you want to pretend#that your complaining has any weight#thats just usually how media analysis works#u cant analyze something u havent engaged with#anyway. back to da2 replay#during which i shall thank all the gods that might listen that there is a 'skip combat' mod because GOOD. GOD.
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eldest daughter erasure (nancy wheeler and jonathan byers were NOT in the trailer !)
#those are my eldest daughter comfort characters please let me see them :')#anyway can't believe i got back on tumblr for basically the first time in almost 2 years bc of andor#and now im back in the st pit#[inserts the gta ah shit here we go again meme]#at least will byers is getting his time in the spotlight if he dies im gonna kill everyone in this room and then myself
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Just saw artwork of Jason doing the heads in a duffle bag thing and—-
I’m sorry but there’s just something so visceral and horrifying about a teenager sawing heads off people in a display for power.
Were they bad people? Yes. Did they deserve it? Probably. Did it send a message? Absolutely. Is it still horrifying? Heck yeah.
Just—- knowing Jason and his background, it’s just so heartrendingly tragic. I don’t even think he liked doing it, I’m just imagining him having to throw up afterwards before putting his helmet back on and playing tough crime lord again. The amount of self loathing he must feel whenever he thinks too hard about his actions. Falling asleep and seeing that—
Just— emotional repercussions, man. They’re real…
#sorry this one’s a little deep#see this is why I usually go with pit madness#one of the many reasons#like the put kind of numbs the part of you that feels guilt over something so atrocious#greys out your moral compass#if you can’t fall back on that— you’re doomed#in Jason’s case pls don’t quote me on that#anyway yeah#just#musings#ghost talks#jason todd#red#it was awesome art btw#just got me thinking tho
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For the record, this show can keep throwing random girls in the teen timeline all it wants in my book. We know there were more. We saw them all over season one. This is a bonkers show with possible Wilderness gods, I can suspend my disbelief re: them not being able to show an entire soccer team at once, it is fine. Look, hey, my faves have to eat SOMEBODY.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#one of those girls is probably the new…gen? did gen leave?#but otherwise they’ve been here the whole time!#somewhere!#in the back!#it’s so funny when this upsets people like. whatever dude they’re red shirts at this point#my fave is functionally immortal so long as she remains a teenager I can suspend all of my disbelief#anyway GOD I am ready#fuck! me! upppp!#plot twist pit girl is someone we won’t even meet until season four
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Hey by the way if anyone tries to deny Kabru is a judgy bitch I’ll send you the panels of him calling everyone worthless
Respect his duality he’s a good boy who genuinely wants the best for everyone but also thinks he has to do everything himself despite being the Least Qualified Ever because no one else lives up to his standards
He doesn’t even want to look at monsters but oh well every single other person is a piece of shit let’s go get my friends killed over and over again
He’s interesting BECAUSE he’s not one dimensional Good Pure Boy all the time, he’s a judgy manipulative little shit who will eat monsters if it gets him towards his goals, which are “nobody should be killed by monsters actually” and “i want to know what the fuck is going on”
He coulda had ONE honest conversation with Laios and known literally everything about him, Laios has never met a filter
But Kabru was raised for a good chunk of his life (6-18) by Milsiril, and for all he believes elves can never understand short lived people… he picked up the whole “I must be secretive and always conceal my own motivations”
He only breaks under literally the most intense high pressure situation he’s likely to see in his life, which along with being the potential goddamn apocalypse is also a rehashing of All Of His Personal Trauma oh and also Every Suspicion He Ever Had About This One Guy
He’s not more honest because he’s an honest person, he’s more honest because he forgot how sentences work when he finally caught Laios and doesn’t have the bandwidth to play the constant 4D chess in his head that underpins his EVERY INTERACTION WITH EVERYONE EVER until Marcille takes the lion
Kabru’s a pretty good person, with extremely good motivations and goals.
He’s a manipulative son of a bitch who will do anything, anywhere, anytime, to meet those goals, and spends a solid chunk of his time and energy on reading people so he can be someone they like… regardless of his own feelings.
He’s the living The Good Of The Many Outweigh The Needs Of The Few, and solidly puts himself in with “the few” by doing shit he hates because he thinks it’ll help.
Isn’t that more interesting than “oh he would never manipulate anyone, he’s so nice and good all the time”?
#kabru dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#this was supposed to be short but i am buzzing so#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#also tbh why kabumisu has me by the throat#kabru’s sacrificed himself on the altar of his goals for so ling#long even#becoming everything for everyone so they like him and don’t get in his way#he Needs to get back in touch with himself#and stop becoming whoever his latest target will like#and mithrun could not give less of a fuck who kabru is if he tried#which is why kabru can finally drop the act and just be himself while they’re alone in the dungeon#he’s not trying to read and anticipate mithrun half as much as he does laios and That Is Actually So Much Better For His Mental Health#like yes boy give up on trying to please people#it’s a fucking endless pit get you a man who doesn’t give a shit and will tell you not to too#and then even when kabru stopped trying to be someone mithrun would like#that sneaky fuck won mithrun over anyway and THAT is why they are OTP shit
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Shouma Ginzaki, I have so many thoughts on this little guy. That I wish to ramble about him for a bit. Mostly about things that I find interesting such as his character design but also my thoughts on him so far.
For context I am going off from just the demo alone, so I don’t have the full picture of what he will be like in the full game.
First off, the red marking on the characters foreheads seem to have some inspiration in both a red dot called a bindi and traditional Japanese kabuki theatre make up. A bindi has ties to Buddhism and is linked to the Ajna Chakra which is also known as the "third eye" or "inner wisdom". And if you’re an anime fan you might have seen at very least one character with a red dot in their character design. So there might be some pop culture aspects to the inspiration as well. Which is why some of the characters have such dot markings in their battle ready designs.
Another thing worth noting is that the colour red in Japanese culture is a pretty prominent and versatile colour with multiple layers of symbolism. Such as being associated with protection, joy, and strength, but also with passion, power, and even danger etc.
Finally, with Shouma and Mako they both have two dots markings above their forehead. It kinda look similar to geisha dot eyebrows or Hikimayu (引眉). It’s probably just a coincidence but I thought it was worth noting.



Shouma number is nine but interestingly enough it is written in upper capital Chinese Hanzi instead of Japanese Kanji. which is probably on purpose because in Japan the number nine is considered an unlucky number because the pronunciation (苦) (ku) is similar to (苦) (suffering). The association with hardship, pain and ties to bad luck/misfortune overall contributes to the negative reputation behind this number. Similar to how the number 4 similarly avoided in Japanese culture.
While in Chinese the number nine has the opposite reputation with it being associated with good luck/good fortune and can also mean long lasting and represents the maximum level of martial happiness and longevity. I just think that is a nice subtle detail in his uniform and weapon design overall with his number being nine and all.
This probably means nothing but nine or more correctly eight phases of the moon can spiritually is often associated with cycles of growth, release, and renewal. Also the number Nine is symbolically represented by change and having a very empathic and compassionate soul. In numerology the number nine is usually linked to things such as completion, idealism, and a strong desire to help others. Which mostly fits Shouma personality in terms of his ideals and morals.
Also his star/zodiac sign Pisces is often associated with compassion, empathy, creativity, imagination and strong intuition but also a deep connection to the sub conscious. But also the weaknesses of the sign is being indecisive, sensitive, prone to escapism and their own inner turmoil. And melancholy behaviours feelings of sorrow and poignance; where they would rather go through and meditate on deep emotions such as despair/sadness rather than have no feelings at all.
Overall, the zodiac sign Pisces is very emotional driven sign and I don’t think it is a coincidence that Shouma as a character is written to be very driven by his strong emotional feelings and thoughts.

Anyway, this line of dialogue stuck out to me while playing the game demo. There seems to be a bit of a moon theme going on here? Or at the very least I think that the moon might be an important plot beat for this game story.

Which also lead to me noticing Shouma’s mecha also has some moon imagery on its design via the shoulders pads. Another interesting thing is that the chest of the mecha is designed with a Shiba Inu face notable a black one.
Shouma’s dog is probably not a literal black shiba ha ha. Although, his weapon having the chest be of the head of a black dog reminded me a bit of the Chinese mythology of the black dog called Tiangou/the heavenly dog. Which in the myth Tiangou either eats the moon or sun causing an eclipse but the moon is more notable one. Which could have inspired some design aspects to Shouma weapon perhaps.
Real quick, I will say that I haven’t looked too deeply or check to see if other characters have a subtle moon theme to their designs. Also, if you look closely on images of the other characters weapons they also have an although I will say a more subtle animal theme going on in their weapon designs as well.

Now onto his character design. First off, his backpack resembles a Kame/turtle shell get it because he’s hiding in his shell and need to slowly come out of it. Man, you gotta love the creativity Rui Komatsuzaki puts into his character designs overall.
Shouma’s boots also have a bit of a turtle-like pattern and with them being green, it looks like he has little turtle feet. His boots also partly resemble wellies, which are commonly associated with children at least in fiction giving him a childlike feel to his design. Plus they’re also outdoor boots and are usually quite popular with dog walkers as well.
Finally, his cap in terms of shape resembles either a frog, bear or hamster which adds even more to the animal theme to his overall character design.

I’m honestly curious with how Shouma’s dog, which is most likely a Shiba Inu and Sirei are connected somehow and it’s also interesting how he’s the only one that didn’t technically fight. Like there has to be a reason for it right? I also think Shouma is more important than he gives himself credit for, although I may wrong who knows.


I don’t know if others have noticed this but Shouma to me seems to be a very peacemaker type of character. He doesn’t like conflict and always puts others comfort and needs first before himself a far good amount of the time. Plus, the way he talks about his dog in optional dialogue. Makes him appear to have a selfless and kind hearted soul underneath all the self esteem/self deprecation issues of course.

I also think Shouma appears to be pretty good at reading the room and how others might be feeling. On the rare occasion he chimes in, he has some pretty possible ideas and theories on what might be happening in the current situation. But given how many times he’s gets shot down or told he’s stupid for thinking or saying anything at all.
Which probably breaks his confidence to where he feels he shouldn’t have said anything at all. Which is why he’s just accepts it and doesn’t push against it. Because he truly believes he can never be right on something but also insists on being a peacemaker making him unable to truly take on conflict.

Overall, from what I’ve seen so far, Shouma seems to be a very gentle soul. Who is way too harsh on himself but I do have faith that he will develop as a person as the story progresses. It probably won’t be perfect and I don’t expect his self esteem problems to just magically go away, that takes time. Honestly, Shouma so far is very relatable to me as someone who has gone through similar hardships as a teen.
Shouma has so much potential to be such a lovely and compelling written character overall and I look forward to see what the writers have in store for him in the full game. (He’s so autistic coded to me but that could just be me projecting a little onto him ha ha…)
Lastly, gameplay wise Shouma has the potential to be pretty op as a unit depending on how his abilities and moveset functions in the gameplay mechanics.
He is a counter defender and his ability shut-in gives 1+ attack with every emery that hits him. Which could have potential to be stacked if his ability can get even stronger. Reflecting back attacks is his key, so Shouma ideally will probably excel being throw at enemies head first and focus on crowd control.
Shouma will probably work best with the more frail units. Leading the enemies onto him while doing chip damage and letting heavy hitting units dish out the big hits. He’s also will probably have good synergy with the healer/support units as well but overall. I think he will probably be one of the better units in the game due to his ability to do crowd control in a game, where crowd control is key. Also depending upon on how his ability works he could also be quite a decent boss slayer as well.
Anyway, that concludes my little slightly mentally ill ramble on him. OvO’)
#the hundred line#last defense academy#thllda#shouma ginzaki#The hundred lines last defence academy#My art at least the two original fanart pieces in this post are ha ha.#Character rambles#first impression and thoughts on a character.#I had written a bunch of notes on him all way back in early April and just now have decided to shower all of my rambles in a post. OvO’)#Anyway Shouma design is pretty neat. :3c Most of the ideas and thoughts not might be fully correct but hey that’s the fun of speculation.#Rui doesn’t get enough credit as the main artist because he is so creative and put a lot of thought and effort into his character designs.#Also I am the only one who thinks Eito doesn’t feel genuine in his niceness overall. I don’t know something just feels off about it to me.#I’m also not surprised by the fact Shouma is not well liked in general but I do believe he will be a sleeper hit character overall I feel.#I’m still patiently waiting for my copy of the game to arrive. Avoiding spoilers for the game is such agony at times.#God I can’t believe Kodaka and Uchikoshi has dragged me back. This game ahh the brainrot is real for it help.#Then again I was reading all the interviews and blogs from Japanese side quietly for this game since March so I was already in the pits.#I will probably get slightly flamed for this but come on people this boy clearly got some Teruteru dna character design wise anyway. OvO’)#Also is it just me or does Shouma feel like an Uchikoshi character at times rather a Kodaka character in terms of his vibes.#Note I am not Japanese so if I might gotten some things wrong and you’re Japanese feel free to correct me if I had made some mistakes. >v<’
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don't know how people multi-fandom. dipped my toe into another one and immediately backed out bc everyone there was insufferable.
#ok i do know how ppl do it. the secret is having other moots in those fandoms#but i am an analysis and yapper girlie and reading the majority of y*ellowj*ckets takes are driving me up a WALL#[sorry y*llowj*ckets fandom rant starts here. tags contain spoilers for the s3 finale]#like i've lurked on the reddit and so many ppl there are dumb as rocks they don't even realize when a MAJOR PLOT POINT happens#but there are also some good takes on there once in a blue moon#and i enjoy how it's The Norm to call ppl out for being dumb as rocks abt things lmao. i love the argumentative nature of it#even tho i don't post there#on here tho? you get more nuanced takes but then you also get like 95% of the fandom who are blinded in various directions over their faves#and their rarepair / random ships. (and god forbid you express disliking a character. for valid reasons!)#and half of the fandom thinks everything they personally don't like / understand is Bad Writing#and another sizable part of the fandom is constantly chanting 'they're all bad! just pick ur fave and go!' whenever anyone wants to have#and nuanced discussion abt character morals / motivations or dares suggest that some of them are indeed less morally corrupt than others#a bunch of ppl are disappointed that they didn't get to see ALL the girls go feral and become 'crazy cannibals'#in the specific way they were imagining it would go from the pilot now that their time in the wilderness is pretty much up#EYE on the other hand enjoy the fact that most of the girls never truly descended to that level. never truly gave in to the wilderness#there have been moments for all of them sure. but in the end when it came down to the pit girl scene? the reality is most weren't into it#at all. the only ones who were really giving in were sh*na and l*ttie but everyone else was distraught over m*ri's death.#even with other characters using the hunt to conspire to take out sh*na l*ttie and possible t*issa like. in the end NONE of them could#go thru with it. which i think SAYS SOMETHING abt their character#sure they can plot all they want but when it came down to it m*lissa couldn't finish the job#and ahk*la realized that killing l*ttie in the caves would let IT in and change her forever so she backed down#ANYWAYS. just needed to Vent lol#maybe i will make this all a real post later lol (on my main bc that's where i post / rb yj content)
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Something I've been thinking a lot about lately is how everyone thought Egon had gone insane. What Happened that made them think that. They've fought a gigantic Stay Puft Marshmellow Man TWICE (counting the 2009 video game because iirc it's canon? Correct me if I'm wrong), fought an interdimensional god, fought a blood thirsty ruler that killed thousands and was hated by all that was trapped in a painting (and managed to get in to beat him by making THE STATUE OF LIBERTY start walking down the street with slime that reacted purely based on vibes), found an underground abandoned transit system full of the moodslime, had a bathtub try to eat Dana and her baby, fought a giant murderous black widow lady, fought the fisherman ghost who turned an entire hotel floor into the bottom of a ocean, and that's not even mentioning them getting trapped on an island that randomly raised up from underwater that had been abandoned for decades created by Ivor Shandor who worshipped Gozer. So what did he do or say that made everyone else think he'd gone insane?? All I can think is maybe he was acting strange / eratic before, but he's always been like that to some degree.
I don't know. It's something that I've been thinking about. The correct answer is 'it's not that deep and they needed a reason that the others weren't together anymore and weren't aware of Egons death or know what was going on,' but also. What Was He Saying that prompted everyone, including Ray, to think he lost his mind when he'd been right almost every time before that.
I'm genuinely so curious as to what he was up to before this. What was he doing. What insane idea was working on prior to this or was he even working on anything at all??
Also want to clarify this post isn't negative 😭 I really love the newer movies and their lore / the newer storyline / characters, I just like thinking about small stupid things like this. Gives me something to think about / speculate about / figure out an answer to.
#ghostbusters#egon spengler#nikolas posts#I have so many thoughts on it because I've just been rewatching the two movies on loop for the past few days.#All we got was Ray saying that he'd started talking about the end of the world (IIRC) and that he went insane and took everything#when he eventually left to deal with it on his own#which for the record it's extremely impressive that he would've stopped Gozer from returning BY HIMSELF. The only reason it hadn't worked#was because of the electricity issue#Hiding all the traps and setting up the proton packs to fire at the hell pit?? Insanity. He's just on a complete different level of existin#Like they were aware of Ivor Shandor and his plans long before??? They found his ISLAND DEDICATED TO GOZER who had full intention of#BRINGING THEM BACK#it's really Really REALLY not this deep but I have thoughts and I wanted to share them. Maybe someone else might have an idea I#couldn't think of or might have something to add.#I guess it could be a 'they beat Gozer once and assumed they were gone' but that wasn't the first time Gozer 'died' so??#if I missed something Please tell me. I haven't watched the newer movies as much as the older ones (I grew up watching them / playing#the game so I'm more familiar with the older lore and haven't had the chance to rewatch the newer ones 1000 times over unfortunately)#so it's entirely possible I missed something#I'd think maybe it was just because they were older but I really don't think thats the case. I have reasoning for it but I need to do#the math to make sure I'm getting the ages right by the time AfterLife happens.#really need to make a chart / timeline of all the events that happened and what year / month / day they happened. That's a project#for tomorrow perhaps.#anyways if anyones reading this sorry for the insane rambling and congrats for making it to the end#also this post isn't negative I adore the newer movies so much. I love them a lot and I genuinely don't really care about this at all#just a thing to think / ponder / speculate about if that makes sense#I enjoy thinking about stupid irrelevant stuff like this#so so so many thoughts
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it’s 5:20am i cannot sleep i am consumed with thoughts and yearning for keigo takami i need to be euthanized
#literally these days all i do is Lay Awake and Wither Away#the nightmares have been exponentially worse lately#fun fact ur local fanfic author has Problems.#idk man there’s just something haunting about having reoccurring nightmares about your ex and every time u close ur eyes it’s throwing u#right back into the pit of hell that was that relationship#it’s fine it’s fine it’s fine i just no Longer Trust People#anyways this is a vent post and it is so cringe and lame#i just have never Hated an ex before so there’s a lot i’m coming to terms with especially considering how Fake he is#idek man IDEK!!!!!1!!1!1!#i rlly sacrificed so much to love and live with him and he said ‘mmmmmm now i have u in my grip’#whatever it’s fine he’s stinky and honestly the fact honey (the blog intern and my cat) doesn’t miss him AT ALL says so much#seriously she is so nonplussed by his absence it’s wild#eating fine sleeping fine shitting fine#SAYS A LOT. SAAAAYS A LOT. whatever whatever whatever#i would hit that emotionally immature man with my car if given the chance and yknow what. nick if ur reading this you’re one of the#most.#emotionally immature people ive ever had the misfortune of knowing.#what a shame you lost me#the best thing and healthiest thing that ever happened to you#because of your own actions and your own inability to take accountability for your mental health and actions#tell your mom i say hi#and tell your exes im sorry i ever doubted any of them x_x#WEEEEE what a vent#listen to big sister birbs when she says don’t date men who have something horrific to say about each of their exes
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i deleted his Instagram off my messages. i sent one last text, i think it was just for me though. i love him still but,,if i know there's nothing left i can't keep waiting. i can't stick around and hope for the impossible.
#maybe for some that means i wasn't actually in love#but i think moving on amd giving yourself peace is just as important as honoring the relationship you had#bugs junk#sorry for the random super melancholy post but im doing some self care and helping myself move on#i can't let myself get stuck in another pit#i have plenty of people to love me even if its not romantic the way i want#anyway#back to your regularly scheduled programming
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going to sleep, time to imagine my comfort fanfiction for the night! (<- favorite character getting violently nonconned)
#tw noncon#i swear im going to bed now i swear last post#just. i settled into bed and my brain went okay! torturing jacob time!#anyway. if roth would kiss him without his consent. we can go further with this.#jacob ‘im drinking what this guy gives me without suspicion or checking if its poisoned’ frye. my boy. you are getting drugged about it.#im sure roth would have enjoyed it greatly if jacob would have fucked him willingly. unfortunately he won’t. sad! oh well! he’ll get what#he wants anyway!#and now i get to lay here and go :3c as i think about jacob experiencing the horrors and then barely making it back to the train only for#evie (<- just heard about the factory fire and pissed) to start yelling at him about trusting roth until jacob (<- not okay. also got#mystery drugged.) throws up and she realizes oh. oh something’s wrong. i don’t know what’s wrong but something is really really wrong.#yayyy!!!! fun sinking pit in her stomach feeling for evie and jacob miserable and traumatized and sick and thinking she’s gonna keep yelling
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yeah so i meant 2 draw this like last week but whateer its warm up now :)
#guys the video is so good#i love watching ross play horror#speaking of which ive been watching the uh the uhhhh fnaf in2 the pit? video he post a while ago#im having such a silly time#i need 2 go back 2 drawing actual things tho#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#anyways yeah screw this game 4 this note bc it made me think of redstoner#& we all know what bull that does 2 my brain#god it is hot in here i need 2 turn on the ac ;;#puppee art#anwaysy so uhm. ig au KLMAO
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where's the "i wish I could be creative but all my energy is being used for survival" post
#azia stuff#venting i guess#last night i cried bc i didn't do anything at all. just kinda sat at my desk until 10 wishing i could write#i want to write so badly!!!! real things!!#i'll even take gpose rn tbh but the desire to do that is gone too#i know i'm entering the burnout pit again but i think it's hitting me a bit harder this time#because the last few months have been happy ones! i'm in a good mood and i've been productive!!#so to dip low feels like i'm falling a bit harder#anyway. thank you guys for tagging me in your wips or other things#i still want to read them or see them!#especially because i don't really have the bandwidth to scroll tumblr rn#so the tags or even dm-ing me links to things is appreciated 🥹💗#okay that's all. I'll be back around for real at some point mwah mwah 💗💗💗
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Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)
#Doodles#Helix#Dexter Favin#Coraline#The Beldam#The other side of this coin <3 Call him out but this time make it unfriendly hehe#I talked last time about the daring rescue!! I do love the daring rescue in Coraline AUs ah same thing with the Camp Camp Coraline AU haha#Burst in through the door! Those poor hinges!#It is a bit funny imagining him crawling through the tunnel in a hurry and kicking the doors open all winded haha <3#It's all very serious of course Max needs help! Stuck behind the mirror from disobeying perhaps?#I was pretty hard on him last time that he'd just Immediately give up his soul for cheap tricks but like - would he?#Yes he's reckless and foolish but he's also stubborn and prideful and hates being told what to do so there's that lol#Which does he want more! The high or his freedom to refuse? I could see it going either way#And for Dex's sake I would hope he'd refuse! As if he hasn't suffered enough eye trauma (eventually)#Ough the thought of him starting to say yes and getting one button eye in and then rescinding his yes ouch#Doomed to have one eye no matter where he goes ah 💔#Anyway - Dex!!! Watch I'll make another one with the ideas mentioned here and then talk about more ideas in those tags pft#Since agreeing with him didn't work how about shaming? ''Go away you're no better''#She really is going hard on him like ''What's your angle? You get him back and then what? Will that actually fix anything?''#Very much pulling from Dexter's meetings with Max at the Institute there hhhhhh as if I needed more feelings about it#Eco_Mono did such a beautiful job playing Dex - so much to consider hehe - but there was one question that I can't stop thinking about#''Why would you want him back?'' and Dexter didn't really have much of an answer - he was barely more than a concept at the time!#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ♥♪♫#Very want to explore it <3#In the meanwhile it's fun to pit these two against each other haha what an odd matchup ♪#I've only barely drawn the Beldam before now that I think of it! And I think only in her final metal-spidery form never in her mid form here#She's fun :D And so tall! Dexter finally feeling small for a change haha#Her having to fight adult selfishness would be quite interesting I think - something tinged with but not quite the same as loyalty#She can relate to the possessiveness at least hehe I'm sure he'd appreciate the comparison
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