#anyways. i need food. also i need to hydrate my hands dont work since i havent consumed enough water today

[the-kipsabian]

im gonna take a break and get dinner but gifs will resume at some point i still have bits from this one that i need to cover lol

[c4-weeb]

Obey me boy head cannons!

Skater!Mc x the demon boys + undateables!

Alright so background! Human mc had invited one of the boys to go to a skating rink with her in the human world, since she is one of the main racers and a very frequent attendee at the place since she was 10. She knows the regular skaters and owners pretty well. Shes held with high respect there and is pretty talented. She has skate races and a whole team of great skaters, so what happens when one day she invites one of the boys to go on a date/ support her during a competitive roller derby? Also please do keep in mind I'm taking inspiration off the monster high roller derby cause that race was pretty cool and difficult to do so make it more modernized and human. You know... no swinging axes or kraken's trying to grab you as you skate. Though in reality that sounds like something Diavolo would put together for devildom roller derby's...

Lucifer

When he heard you beg him to come support you for your first race back in the human world he was a little taken aback. A roller derby? Him? I mean he wasn't going to be the loudest but he did find the thought of watching them succeed and wanting his praise amusing nonetheless....

....in reality he missed the Mc dearly and would appreciate the time with them, but he'd never say so out loud.

When you looked up to him from the stands he smirked at you, the pressure was on... that smirk was the one of judgement and "let's see how you do" which wracked your nerves with enough anxiety that it helped fuel the fire to make sure you succeeded.

When the Mc took off, being shoved by people bigger than her on each side, he was surprised when you fell back and the two idiots collided and she hopped over with ease and sped towards the front with amazing speed.

When The Mc and their team won, she came speeding to him and hugged him from behind and thanked him.

Later he took you out to eat in congratulations, the smile on your face from getting praise and food? All the stress from the day was relieved by that small gesture.

"I dont know why I thought I had finally found out everything I could about you, yet you just keep surprising me...."

Mammon

When the you asked for his support during a casual race at your local skating rink, with just your team mates going against eachother in a regular speed skate with a few obstacles, he wasnt so interested, saying he wants money in return for his support, when in reality he would have went anyways. But when you told him that since it was a casual race, people could bet on the racers, he agreed so fast and even begged to be summoned right then and there.

Expect him to be screaming at the top of his lungs for you to win

Isnt against calling you baby this loud in public

May or may not have tried climbing the fence when you got pushed

Definitely bet on you, and a huge sum of money too. So much faith 😭❤

Once you've won expect him to come flying at you, poor baby forgot you where on skates tho so you'd end up falling backwards to your friends amusement of your cuddly demon.

Tried threatening the owners to do another race so he could get money and failed

Sulked till you dragged him by the hand to skate in the neon lights since most people left it was just you two

Later he would drag you to either go to bet on races with him to gain more money or go to shower you in gifts, really depended on how well you could convince him to not go gambling, which had a 50/50 success rate.

"If I'm not going to get more money I might as well shower you in what I have, make you the prettiest gem for the whole world to see!" "Mammon you only won 200 dollars not a mil-" "sh, sh, shhhhh, shhh, no arguing! The Great Mammon is going to treat his treasure right tonight, ya' hear!?"

Leviathan

Now getting this otaku outta his room was an absolute struggle. So like a cat trapping their preh, you had to summon him to your house and put a blindfold on him for a special surprise.

Dragged his unsocial ass to the car and road down to the skate rink and took off his blind fold once you both got inside.

It took a lot of coaxing, but you finally got him to calm down enough to get a pair of skates.

If your skater friends said hi to him he'd hide by your arm like a scared 5 year old

The jealousy he felt of everyone in the room was unbelievable, because the poor boy has no balance for skating. On wheels or ice, his body just refuses.

You offered to help him learn and the poor boys face was fuming red, thankfully the neon lights and darkness hid it well.

He held onto your hand for balance throughout the whole date, only stopping to eat some pizza and play some arcade games.

After a few hours you headed back to your house to binge some Starwars, wanting to watch something different with him.....which eventually led to the both of you getting bored and going back to the new ruri-chan movie you guys binged countless amount of times on the phone together.

"H-hey! Hold on you're going t-too fast! No now you're so close I-....um... ack everyone can see us...so many people... but its worth it to show that your mine!"

Satan

Now Satan isnt much of a skater, nor a loud supporter, but with enough coaxing you finally got him to at least try and relax with you, doing a nice small couple's night at the skate rink

Really wanted to try human customs with you so there was little resistance

He would hold their hand as you'd skate

Even think of skating away from him and he will chase after you

This man's rage in his bones makes him a natural speed skater

Will tickle you when he catches you, starts a very one sided tickle war tho

If you wanna sit down, it's going to be in his lap, no rejections.

Will find it adorable if your friends make fun of how blushy you're getting as you hide in his chest

"Come now kitten, dont run away or I'm going to tickle you so hard that your face will hurt too much to smile at anyone else but me"

Asmodeus

This sweet baby was already dragging you to your room to glamor you up before the race.

Honey no need to say anything, he will make you the most gorgeous skater just tell him the vibes you wanna give off and he will hit the nail straight on the head and match your aesthetic.

Best expect victory photos.

Will record your victory and show it off to the group chat with the brothers.

Absolutely head over heels for you, hanging off your body in a hug and then going for a really close skate together

Might try to convince you to have some celebratory seggs but will 100% be making it known how much you excited him.

"Sweetheart look at all the likes our photos are getting! Everyone's congratulating you! Awe look at how viral my baby is! That was a VERY thrilling experience watching you, and you do need to take care of that body....shall we take this home and undress you so I can congratulate you the right way~♡?"

Beezlebub

Immediately agreed when you brought it up that you wanted to bring him to the skate rink, someplace you enjoyed going.

He knew skating was like a work out but was worried about finding skates his size there so he brought his own customized skates.

You better have snacks cause baby is gonna be starving.

Thankfully since you also work there and know the owners, you where allowed to hop over and take his order, putting it on your tab. 4 pizzas 2 Turkey legs 7 hotdogs and a pint of water (remember to stay hydrated)

If you bumped into a few of your friends and he WILL get along with them. He wants to be apart of your life, all of it, so he'll make it a point to get along with everyone in it for your sake.

If you ever look like you're going to fall he will be so close behind you it would be like slipping and falling back onto a brick wall who grabs you before you hit the floor.

If you fall forward he will grab your shirt but try not to choke you in the process

(If you do choke poor baby with be hugging you apologizing profusely)

You two try racing eachother but no matter what you dont win cause hes just too fast

Finds you challenging him over and over endearing and adorable.

"You're so adorable when you're chasing after me trying to win, but I'm hungry now...can we go eat again?"

Belphegor

Will complain once you ask him to go skating for date night in the human world

Wont stop till he finds out it has a sunroof along with the neon lights so he can look at the stars while skating with you.

Will only skate for an hour or two then passes out on your lap

Will not help at all when you fall, just laughs cause he is probably the reason you fell in the first place.

When hes skating he will take your hand in his the whole time and sorta lean on your shoulder while skating from behind you.

You two will stop periodically to sit at the small felt covered benches in the rink to look up at the stars (may or may not fall asleep on your shoulder so you're stuck there with him sleeping for 20 minutes)

You will be the last ones out

Must grab some food for Beel cause belphie promised to bring him home food.

Skating (more like you dragging him by the hand while hes in skates)back to your place and looking at the stars together at like 3am

Wont go back till he can officially cuddle you till the morning and leaves at 11am

"Hey look...theres Ursa major...*yawn* come on let's sit down again, I'm tired..."

Luke (only as siblings you take him skating)

Doesnt know how to skate

You end up teaching him and hes the happiest little boy ever.

If you take him to a race he'll be all worried that you got a scratch and starts to get protective over you when the person who pushed you comes near

Definitely eating cotton candy

Playing claw machines and you win him a stuffed piggy and he holds it near and dear to his heart cause it's from you

"Mc! Mc! Look I'm doing it! I'm skating! Sir oinkers and me are skating together! Thank you so much haha!"

Simeon

Happily joins to cheer you on during your races everytime. Got a race? Simeon will be there.

If you dont win he will comfort you and make the best of the situation by taking you to the food bar till it turns to a free skate again.

If you're injured he will pamper you and be ready with his first aid. Little angel kisses on every scrap and bruise.

So many forehead kisses of encouragement and praise 🥺😭

Can speed skate, so if you want to practice he'll help but if you want to relax he'll do that too.

Inlines? Regular skates? No matter what hes great at them.

Somehow he has great luck and every stuffie you showed interest in or every candy or prize there was that you would even look at, he would win on the first try.

"Dont worry! I'll carry it all. You just relax alright? You got pretty bruised from that fall."

Barbatos

Getting this man to stop working and go on a date will need a ton of patience, even Lord Diavolo has to convince him the little d's will do their jobs right while hes away.

Will take care of every scrape and bruise you get.

Man has glowsticks prepared to cheer you on

When it turns back to a free skate he will try his best to impress you and teach you little tricks he's picked up in his many years.

You try to convince him to eat some of the food there and he will politely decline and proceed to take you out to a nice fancy, but quaint restaurant.

"You were really quick to dodge them back there, yet you still got a few bruises, truly amazing for humans to get to that speed and dodge so fast. You're really a fascinating one arent you?"

Lord Diavolo

This man.... he made SIGNS

WILL be hollering when you win

The loudest in the stands

Glowsticks, glowing necklaces, bracelets, man is even wearing a glowing necklace around his head for you, glowing head to toe

So happy and proud 🥺😭❤

Definitely brought barbatos to help hold up the glittery signs him and the little d's made

Barbatos will leave with the signs after congratulating you and leaving you two to your date.

He will be a little off balanced when first skating cause the man went straight for the inlines 😂

Will be smiling the whole time, nothing can or will ruin it.

Absolutely in love with the skate rink because of you and even wants to add a few to the devildom so they can hold tournaments like the one you where in

Can get sad if he cant get you a stuffed animal while you're in the bathroom so he summons Barbatos again to help him while you're away.

Sends Barbatos away so you wont know he helped him get the prizes

Ends up getting you 6 stuffies and a phone case that doesnt fit your phone but it's the thought that counts right?

You win him a medium sized dragon from the claw machine and he sleeps with it every night and loves it like it's your guy's kid.

If he meets your friends he will find out just how much you've missed him as you get embarrassed, makes a mental note to see you once a week after that encounter.

Will eat 2 Turkey legs as you eat a slice of pizza and share a pitcher of soda with him

(He makes a mess of his face so you clean it off for him)

Will not want to leave and go back to the devildom so he'll insist on staying the rest of the night and walks you home

Will. NOT. LEAVEEEE! Master of excuses for why he should stay.

"But I dont want to leave! Theres still so much to do!" "Can I at least see your house?" "I wont leave until I see you're safe at home!" "Please can I stay the night, I miss having you wake up in my arms." "I want to see the morning sun rise with you before I go back"

[twenty-one-flightattendants]

This one is for all of you people out there with a uterus

Since the devil blesses anyone with a uterus every month I think it would be rude not to acknowledge their thoughtful gift. So for those of you who are younger and just starting this cycle of torture, or are also a veteran who either cant or does'nt want to go on birth control, here's what I do to deal with it every month :)

What you will need to survive (I am not a professional this is just what helps me yeah yeah yeah we get it anyways)

•hot water bottles (preferably 2)

•A LOT of drinking water so you don't die

•a lot of tea so you have something to warm your cold dead heart

•a will to live (will be lost at some points during)

•a bed for lying down in (I think that's pretty self explanatory tbh)

•drugs to get rid of the pain (legal of course, FBI dont come for me)

•blood soaking/collecting supplies...obviously

•soaps and nice smelling things because periods are stinky

•Cold compress

•a bath (showers will obviously do but baths are nice and you can s u b m e r g e)

•many snacks

•spare laundry because it happens to the best of us

How to deal with specific period bull shit

☆Blood

•Tampon and pad let's go my dudes or a menstrual cup, anything that collects blood is a win whatever works for you boo

•vaginal safe soaps, you don't want to irritate your intimate areas because I promise you it's NOT FUCKING WORTH IT

•clean/spare bedding, even grown ass adults will leak if it's heavier than expected that's just part of the fun of having blood uncontrollably flood out of your body every month

•spare underwear once again just incase

•If it gets SUPER bad and I mean holy shit I'm bleeding a waterfall for 7 days straight maybe go to your doctor about that one

☆Stomach Cramps

•pain killers (Ibroprufen, paracetamol, horse tranquilizers, ect...)

•Hot water bottle (or any other warm object like a microwavable Christmas penguin named pingu you got for Christmas) one on your back helps if you have 2

•extension on the hot water bottle. Lie flat on your back or stomach...you choose idc...No pillows with one hot water bottle underneath you and one on top of you. Pretend you're being arrested for having a uterus and put your hands above your head. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Good luck...may the odds be ever in your favour

•bath (make it bubbles and bath bombs and nice smells)

• if you are of legal age and have a partner see how brave said partner is and have some good old fashioned sexy time (Please dont accidentally make a baby, unless you want to get pregnant, and use protection despite popular belief you can in fact get pregnant while on your period)

•excersise is helpful and makes pain more bearable but it's a lot of effort and idk if I can commit to that

•praying to every god even if you're not religious because it just won't end

•chocolate...trust me I'm a scientist...

•Once again real talk here if you feel like you're giving birth every month, you're throwing up because of the pain and you're close to passing out go see a doctor because that's shit aint okay

☆Back pain

•pain killers (horse tranq you know the drill)

•hot water bottle as mentioned before

•light stretches/exercises (look I know the last thing you wanna do is move but for back pain it helps you literal slug)

•water (a lot of this is repeated)

•tea again, for once I'm advising you to NOT spill it

•Lie on flat surface with hot water bottle under back and over think your past mistakes

•bath but only if bath is big, small baths are shit and I and up wanting to die (TM)

☆Boob pain

•nothing helps

•Just fucking suffer

•dont wear a bra I guess

•fuck you boobs

☆Head ache

•pain killers yeah yeah we get it

•a cold compress (or a wet paper towel, if you're a primary school nurse fuck you)

•good ol' ice cold H20

•take a walk... you know... in the outside place

•uuuuh...have a nap????

☆Emotions

•Try not to kill anyone

•Meditate /exercise if you can be fucked because it does help but uuuuuuugh

•scream in to the void

•silently curse people who don't have a uterus but feel like they know EVERYTHING there IS to know because it CaNt bE thAt BAd

•verbally curse the aformetioned people but only if you're ready for a FUCKING FIGHT YOU SON OF A BI...

•astral project on to another plane

☆Cravings

•for the short term keep a decent amount of the foods you crave because even though chocolate is bad chocolate is good you feel me

•keep cupboards stocked with healthier (ew) foods that's will help stop cravings of junk food (there's a load of lists on line and shit) for example if you ant crisps it's probably salt you're craving so go for something healthier that's slightly salty. It will ultimately make you feel better but in the long term (chocolate is healthy right...)

•DRINK WATER....SO....MUCH...WATER...STAY HYDRATED

•Ice cream is a good friend

K that's it, feel free to add if you think of something ive forgotten or if you think I've gotten anything completely wrong which is possible with me, and thanks again to satan for the monthly gift we luv ya<3

[compassionatereminders]

I'm considering trying coke on new years and I dont know anything about it. What should I do? (Not asking how to do it but moreso where I should go to get information on dosages, prices, and safety tips) Also, I dont plan on doing it regularly, just on special occasions like new year's eve or my birthday or something. Side note, I feel like college truly is the time to try everything. Since I started, I've started having sex smoked weed, now I'm trying coke and I'm going to try shrooms soon too.

I don’t talk much about my drug use here because I really don’t wanna risk normalizing and romanticizing it, but I have always been a bigger fan of harm reduction than preaching abstinence, so if you’re gonna try coke anyways, I’d honestly rather tell you what I know than preach to you… So while I didn’t think this day would ever come - welcome to Cocaine 101, everyone! First of all, keep in mind that I haven’t actually read a lot about cocaine, so I can’t refer you to any resources. Everything I know is learned from hands on experience. That being said, here’s what I know:

Make sure you buy from a dealer known to be reliable. Don’t just buy from anyone willing to sell to you. That can get real dangerous real fast. Find someone in your social circle who does coke somewhat regularly and ask them to refer you to their go to dealer. I really cannot stress this part enough. Do not just buy from random people. Make sure the person you buy from is known to deliver a quality product consistently and that someone you know at least a little bit can vouch for them and the quality of their product. 

Make sure you’re in a somewhat safe and private environment the first time. Many people do coke at night clubs, but I really can’t recommend doing that the first time. A private party/smaller get together makes it a lot easier and a lot safer, so I definitely recommend that you don’t start out by snorting off the toilet seat - or off someone’s phone screen or key - in a clubs bathroom. Make sure to do it somewhere where you don’t have to hide and rush it. That’s a lot safer for everyone involved.

The first time(s), let someone who’s experienced prepare and dose. Basically, find someone who already knows exactly how to do it and let them handle it - and make sure to tell them it’s your first time so that they keep that in mind when dosing. Dosing coke requires some skill and knowledge and if you’ve never touched it before, I honestly recommend that you ally yourself with an experienced user the first couple times even if it seems easy and you think you technically know what to do. 

Don’t overdo it. The first time I’d recommend you take 0.5g or less altogether. That’s plenty for one evening/night for a first time user. Start out with small lines and see how you feel. Don’t try to keep up with the people who have done it every other weekend for years. Coke is a drug you develop a tolerance for along the way, meaning that the more you take it and the more often you take it, the more you’ll need for the same effect. So if it’s your first time you can and should take it easy, even if others don’t. Be prepared that each dose will, depending on size and tolerance, work for anything between 20 minutes to an hour.

Make sure you have at least a makeshift coke kit. You can snort with basically anything, but in my experience the easiest, cheapest and most reliable method is using 1/3rd to ¼th of a plastic straw. For dosing and preparing the coke, outdated cards of various kinds which aren’t so important or private that losing them would matter are my go to tool. You will also need a somewhat flat plate or a small tray and preferably a table with decent lighting.

Be prepared that coke is really expensive. How expensive varies a bit from place to place, but you should be prepared to pay approximately 100 dollars per gram. In some places it’s a bit cheaper, but no matter what, it won’t be cheap - and for many people it’s simply too expensive to be worth it, even if they enjoy the drug. Coke is among the most expensive drugs and it’s not necessarily always worth the money.

Make sure that someone knows what you’re doing and is keeping an eye on you. Preferably someone who isn’t gonna get blackout drunk or really high themselves. Make sure someone else at the party (or several people) know you’re trying coke for the first time and are keeping an eye on you in case something goes wrong. If you’re buying from a reliable dealer you should be fine, but it’s always good to have a safety net just in case.

Eat a proper meal before you start. Coke reduces your appetite, so you likely won’t feel like eating anything while you’re high - and thus it’s important that you make sure to eat before you get started so that you have some food in your system. Your body might technically be able to run on coke alone, but you’ll feel better if you’ve eaten beforehand.

Make sure to have something sugary and non-alcoholic to drink. When you’re on coke, your body is running real fast on mostly artificial energy - often without much food or rest in the system as coke is both energizing and appetite reducing - and your body will thank you for some liquid calories and some proper hydration.

Keep your alcohol intake limited. Coke usually overpowers alcohol, meaning that if you’re on coke, you can drink and drink without actually feeling the effects of the alcohol - but while you may not be feeling the effects of doing that in the moment, the consequences of lots of alcohol in your system WILL hit you later. So while you can easily have a drink or two, don’t go overboard or you will regret it the following day.

Bring chewing gum! Coke often gives people tics, especially jaw/mouth tics, so if you find that happening to you, chew some gum to avoid having to deal with jaw pain in the following days.

Mentally prepare yourself for ending it before you actually run out. Coke is a very addictive drug and there’s a good chance that you will not want to stop when you run out, especially if running out surprises you. So keep track of how much is left and maybe ask the person dosing to let you know when you need to prepare yourself for the comedown. In my experience it’s a lot easier to accept and manage the come down if you have time to mentally prepare yourself beforehand.

When you’re close to running out, more coke might seem like a very good idea. It’s not. Your brain will want more of all these happy chemicals and may try to convince you that you need to do more coke. Don’t listen. The comedown will only be harder the longer you’re high, and if you’ve already pulled an all-nighter, nothing good will come from keeping the artificial energy boost going any longer. While you’re high you will not notice how exhausted you are, but it will hit you when the drug leaves your system - and the longer you postpone the inevitable, the harder it’ll hit. So be prepared that you may want more coke, and be prepared to shut that thought down repeatedly until you fall asleep. If you like weed, smoking a little during the comedown may make it a lot easier to manage. Some people also use benzos to make the comedown easier, so if that’s something you have available and you haven’t been drinking lots of alcohol, maybe take one of those to relax on.

Make sure you don’t have plans in the following days. A coke hangover hits hard and you will likely need to sleep and then rest for AT LEAST 24 hours after doing coke. You will likely feel very tired and maybe even somewhat depressed. This is a pretty logical consequence of coke overpowering your need to sleep and eat for a whole active night and of your brain using up several days worth of happy chemicals in one night. To be straight forward, you’ll likely feel like shit when you eventually wake up the following day, and you won’t want to do much but slump and rest. Allow yourself some time to recover and know that it’ll pass.

Make sure you have some easy food options ready when you wake up the following day. You won’t want to cook or go grocery shopping, but it’s very important for your recovery that you eat something. So either allow yourself to order takeaway and make sure you have the money for it or make sure to have some leftovers or frozen meals ready to heat.

Be prepared that you might get a cold. Coke, while meant to be snorted, might still irritate your nose somewhat - so make sure you stock up on some kleenex or other soft paper for the recovery period.