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Hello,
I hope you have recovered fully or are recovering well.
I only wanted to say this because I am an over thinker and someone needs to tell me to shut up. I don't have any Jikook fans in real life so these are the places I vent.
I think I am either the majority or.the minority depending on which space we are in that thinks and feels that Jikook are distant and have been for a while. I don't think like only because of the car scene. Even when they are taking photos, they aren't doing it like they used to do before. Before if one of them was taking a photo of the two, generally they would be attached at the hips and in each other's face. I didnt notice them doing that in the first two episodes but I also just saw a small clip from Sapporo and they are also taking a pic but they are but distant from each other. I know it might be some miniscule to you but these are few of the instances where I felt that their relationship was beyond friendship.
I know I am over thinking it but I don't know, I don't feel as good about it I suppose. What happened to the Jikook that would literally smooshed their faces together for a photo? What happened to Jikook that were always seen hanging out prior to the hiatus. I heard about them hanging out all the time.
Yes they were busy and I get that. Jimin specially seems to have been super duper busy but he seems to have built a deeper relationship with the Hyung like but kep.a distance from the Maknae line so I am a bit confused I suppose. Out of all the BTS members, I always assumed Jikook were it and nothing would come in between so I am surprised to see work coming in between them?
I still feel like shiiitttt lol but I had to start work today anyway. Thanks for checking in though 💜
Listen, I'm not here to tell you what to think or tell you what your opinion should be. Think whatever you want. I'm sorry to say, but I'm not ever going to be the one to talk you into shipping Jikook. You think they aren't together, that's totally good by me! I hope you still love and support them as BTS, and I hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy any part of the fandom you continue to participate in, including mine if you stick around anyway on my blog.
I'm just here to present facts and let you draw your own conclusions based off that. And sometimes share my opinions about them, but only with the caveat that no one steals MY opinion and must create their own 😉
So for the facts, babygirl (I use as a gender neutral terms), for as many selcas as Jikook took like this:
They took JUST as many like this, which are (edging into opinion territory just a bit here) just the same as the glimpses we've gotten of selcas taken from AYS
Close together for the selfie, but not smushed as close as they could possibly get without just going ahead and crawling inside each other. Just a normal cutesy photo
More facts! As for hanging out prior to the hiatus (where I guess now it's assumed they never saw each other not even once, which is opinion and assumption, not fact), I have a post already done about all the times Jikook were spotted hanging out outside of work (because BTS time is work).
Hint: it's less often than you think
Double hint: they were still glued at the hip, we just know they were because they say and act like they were, not because we got to see or hear about it
Triple hint: it's probably exactly the same now except we know that currently, at this moment, they choose to continue to be glued at the hip for the next 18 months at minimum
I have other posts about their dates too, but this is the one that covers the topic I mentioned above best I think
Work came between them? Is that what they said or is that what you took their words to mean based on your biases and previous assumptions?
Anywho! Thanks again for checking in on me love.
Just a bit of unsolicited advice that you are free to disregard. I think whatever you decide about how you feel about Jikook, you should consider taking an emotional step back from them, just a smidge. Nothing that is only supposed to bring you joy, BTS or any other hobby, should get you feeling so far in your head feeling so conflicted. Good luck, sending you purple hearts! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
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Unexploded Ordinance (John Price x Reader)
You and John navigate the process of moving in together. John is pleased you are home.
1.4k words
CW: swearing, explicit sex MDNI
If the end of this chapter feels a bit abrupt it's because I split it in two to keep it from being a ridiculous length. You can expect the next chapter to pick up where this one left off.
Still not completely happy with this chapter but in the interest of not circling the drain forever and moving forward I'm posting anyways lol yolo
feedback welcome!
When John hasn’t returned from his call before you are done eating your breakfast - and polishing off the last of the raspberries - you take yourself to the bathroom to shower. He’s waiting for you in the living room when you finally emerge, feeling a bit more like yourself. He’s clearly lost in thought, your hand on his shoulder finally knocking him back to the present.
John is easy to talk into moving more things today, on your impromptu day off. When you arrive back at the apartment, he checks the door before he lets you enter, satisfied it’s been undisturbed. You immediately bicker with him about your furniture and what pieces will stay or go. You can tell he’s pleased when he wins the debate between the couches, you being partial to your vintage re-upholstered and wildly heavy chesterfield sofa. It’s too short for John to lay down on, forcing him to bend his knees and isn’t very comfortable, truth be told. It’s a gorgeous deep green velvet that draws the eye but otherwise isn’t overly practical. You pout about having to give it up until he gives over on your books entirely. He’s consistently bitched about moving your personal library, filled with heavy anthologies from your university days. They’ve been dragged from pillar to post over the years and you’ve refused every less than subtle suggestion to sell them. He doesn’t even try to make you choose which ones to keep, sighing deeply in resignation and asking how many boxes you think it will take to pack them all. This earns him the hardest hug you can muster and a rain of kisses he has to crouch for, chuckling lowly.
You make a trip back to his place with your clothing, the colourful array of fabrics making John’s limited selections seem all the starker by comparison. It brings you up short, seeing your things beside his in the wardrobe. You get caught up wondering what the hell you are doing, agreeing to this. You don’t get very far in your spiral before John finds you, kneeling surrounded by folded t-shirts. You’re jealous of his ability to seemingly pick a course of action and execute it without the self-doubt that swamps you occasionally. If you hadn’t known him as long as you have you would say it’s something he learned in the military, but you’re pretty sure that’s all John.
His presence steadies you again and you end up making another trip to collect your hairdryer and various other products needed to make yourself presentable for work tomorrow. Most of your everyday use items and valuables are safely rehoused in John’s flat by the time you are ready to throw the towel in for the day. You agree to go to the pub around the corner for dinner, neither of you feeling like cooking. On the walk down, John’s big hand stays on your lower back, keeping you close as you wander down the street together. It’s quiet at the pub, early in the week meaning the clientele are mostly regulars. You get your choice of seats and John steers you to a booth against the back wall, tugging you to sit on the same side as him.
He questions your half-baked plan to quit your job while distracting you from giving an answer, his hand creeping over your thigh and shoulders, bracketing you against him. You finally cross your legs, pinning his warm hand between your thighs so you can formulate a coherent response. He presses a smirk against your temple and listens as you complain of your treatment this morning, and then just in general. You've had a volatile few days and vent your spleen accordingly.
He removes his hands from your body when the food arrives, creating a tiny sliver of space between you on the bench seat. John hums sympathetically at your complaints but finally convinces you to get through the rest of the week before you submit anything in writing, pointing out you should probably update your resume first at minimum. You grumble but reluctantly agree, his even-keeled approach to the situation a better tactic than your instinct for dramatics.
John’s level head only seems to extend to your choices because by the time you’re out the door and on the way home he’s truly unable to keep his hands to himself. Twice on the short walk back he’s pressed you up against the wall of a nearby building, his hands cupping your face as his eager mouth finds yours. You make out like teenagers until you can feel the cold creeping into the tips of your ears, a gentle push against his chest enough to back him off temporarily. You’re getting better at reading John in this state, how his eyes glaze with want and his focus narrows. You finally resort to threading your fingers with his to keep his hand from constantly drifting over your ass, wrapping yourself around his arm to make him behave.
You open the door using your key, John too preoccupied with working his hands under your jacket and shirt. His big body corrals you against him, kicking the door shut after wrestling you through it, almost not giving you time to get your key out of the lock.
“Fucking hell John.”
You breathe out as he spins you around, your arms going around his neck automatically. He kisses you hungrily, his palm cupping the back of your head. You feel the thump of the wall at your back, his hand leaving the back of your head to shove your coat off your shoulders. You wiggle out of it and push at the thick lambskin jacket he’s wearing, slipping your hands under it to grip his shoulders. He shrugs out of it, his lips finding yours again almost immediately. You can feel desire vibrating through his frame, his thigh working its way between yours. Before he can overwhelm you completely, you push back against his chest.
He's breathing hard, confusion mixing across his face as you flatten your palms against his chest and push, reversing your positions by backing him up against the opposite wall. You have to go up on your tip toes, gripping the back of his neck to tug him down to kiss you again. He’s got his hands full of your ass, too preoccupied to catch on to your intent until you're slipping out of his grasp, sliding to your knees in front of him. Your nimble fingers have his belt undone and his jeans open before he can process and stop you, hissing out your name as your fingers wrap around his twitching cock.
You smirk to yourself and wrench a deep groan from his chest as your lips close around the flushed head of his cock, your eyes locking on his face. His cheeks and throat are flushed with the same shade of red as his cock, his blue eyes now nearly black, his pupils dilated with desire. He looks so intense it sends a thrill through your belly that you’re capable of affecting him like this. You swirl your tongue over the head, tasting the salty pre-cum and slide your palm up the wiry hair of his firm abdomen, pushing his shirt up.
John growls lowly, his fingers burying into your hair, gripping close to the roots. He doesn’t try to direct your movements, content to let you work him over however you see fit but the gentle pull on your hair sends flashes of sensation down your spine. The muscles of his stomach jump at the drag of your fingers on his cock as you squeeze the base, sucking on the tip deeply, making John’s fingers clench in your hair. You lift off him and press his erection against his belly, running the flat of your tongue over the underside before teasing his balls with the tip of your tongue.
That has John rocking up onto his toes, hissing your name again followed by a curse. You can’t stop the pleased smirk that slides across your face and wrap your lips around the tip again, focusing your tongue on the sensitive spot on the underside. You can feel his cock twitching, the tension in his body ratcheting tighter with a moan. You let his shirt drop and cup his balls, lapping at the tip intently.
That seems to finally push John beyond his limit and he firmly tugs your hair to pull you off him. Your scalp tingles and you hum in disappointment but John’s already got a hold of your arm, lifting you to your feet again.
“C'mere love, I want to be inside you when I cum.”
He growls lowly, making you shiver, backing you down the hallway to the bedroom with predatory intent. The look on his face makes your stomach quiver in anticipation, your insides going molten.
Next Chapter
Tag list:
@deadbranch @cadotoast @beebeechaos @syoddeye @writeforfandoms @itr-00
#fanfic#call of duty#captain john price#john price x reader#john price cod#john price#friends to lovers#john price x f!reader#john price x you#moving in together#falling in love#fluff and smut#this work has smut
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Okayy we got a Voyager science officer cosplay to make, here(wa)s the plan:
Using an existing pattern I found on etsy, I made adjustments based on vibes reference pictures of Janeway from Night and seeing what other people have made before (shout out to thresholdbb I was Looking at their past cosplays).
Treksona presentation to illustrate the changes I made~
Half the battle was decoding what the vintage pattern instructions were trying to tell me 🤡 but eventually with the help of the internet and my mom on call I figured out each step!
Oh and I had to learn how to iron and how the whole dang sewing machine worked, oiling it, threading the bobbin and needle, I even took apart the foot pedal at one point because I thought it wasn't working lol.
The mockups below, I made one out of Swedish tracing paper and the next one out of cotton (curtains I thrifted) after confirming that it would probably fit:
Turned out pretty good but I decided to move the front seams over just a bit...
Laying out the final pattern:
Cutting out the final pieces was really exciting it was starting to look like something!!
Detail shots below... I didn't feel like I could get the crispness I wanted for the shoulder points with the machine so I did it by hand :')
The shoulder pads were very exciting to put in as well!! I asked the person at JoAnn what the difference was between the two different shoulder pads I had picked up and they said one was more 80s power suit-- that was definitely the one I wanted for this jacket hehe
The final jacket below with a top I found on ebay (also found boots from there)!!! I ended up putting the sleeves in with a machine and ummm there's some puckering I'm trying not to be annoyed about h a h a. I may go back and fix that eventually I don't know... The invisible zipper I got didn't work either so I need to replace that somehow too hrm.
Anyway, I thrifted pants because I didn't want to tackle a whole other piece; I just added fabric to the bottom because they were a smidge short and then cut the iconic vent.
Here's the jacket on me, taken with a weird camera angle so the shoulders are a bit wonky at the edges haha but look!! I lined everything up so well!!
(comm badge and pips from etsy)
I felt ready to go hop on a ship sign me up for first contact I'm ready 🫡
Awright Lessons I Learned:
sewing projects take much much longer than anticipated (I went to stsf and was sewing licherally the night before and morning of. I know it's the convention experience but I was a tad stressed lol)
hand sewing in particular takes forever but I enjoyed it!
people are right to complain about setting in sleeves what da hell was that
flannel (what I used for the black part because it matched the pants the best) was great to work with
linen (the best teal they had in the store) was not!! doesn't iron well, doesn't sew well I don't want to use it ever again <3
this was my first sewing project Ever and I still was pretty hard on myself e h e..........much to think about...
Final words of wisdom from my mom:
Back to the Scully blouse soon!! After a little break :) Thanks for reading!
#star trek cosplay#voy#voy cosplay#voyager cosplay#singesewing#treksona#it was my first convention ever too I had a lot of fun!!#kinda wish i entered the cosplay contest just to get more feedback on my costume loll ah well#yeah i clearly didnt make the scully blouse for halloween haha i wore something else to be her#dont underestimate my ability to put off learning new things </3
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The other thing I liked about Being Human (US) is that the core cast are all incredibly flawed and damaged people who still love each other at their core and genuinely want things to work even though they make spectacularly stupid choices at times along the way.
Aiden is incredibly easy to trigger due to his laundry list of past and present issues and when he's triggered he doesn't shut down or go quiet. He gets ANGRY. He gets *violent*. There was a joke between my friend and I when we watched over the summer and holidays that he was a big fan of using neck snaps to solve his problems but was startlingly bad at dealing with the fallout except by continuing to kill people to cover up his problems. When he fights with Josh he gets personal, he's so combative and confrontational, and he wears that prickly exterior whenever someone sees through the stone mask and pokes at a fleshy bit a little too hard.
But we also see Aiden break down and cry. We see him sobbing uncontrollably as he loses control again and again and again. Every time he manages to scrape together a bit of happiness before either he or someone else fucks it all up and it blows up in his face. He wants to stop. He doesn't want to hurt people anymore. And he can't figure out how to do it because it's like hurting people and driving them away or killing them is the only thing he really knows how to do.
So many times while watching I would yell "talk to your fucking friends asshole" and he would continue to either shut them out or get close but lose his nerve halfway through and remain silent. He wanted that connection very badly and simply couldn't make it happen. The few times he did open up to Josh or Sally he was well received, which I think was really a bright point in the writing because it showed the audience that the problem was that Aiden couldn't figure out how to be vulnerable due to [redacted plot things] rather than because his friends were jerks.
And overall I think that balanced well with Sally, who's various exploits *also* usually blew up in her face, and Josh, who oscillates wildly between "sad and more than a little afraid of himself" and "picks weird hills to die on because it's literally the only way he manages to feel any amount of control in his life". Josh and Sally both frequently vent about things to Aiden, but he almost never reciprocated until pretty close to the end of the series. He hides things from them, he dodges questions, he finds convenient excuses to not talk about stuff, even when they prod and pry to get something out of him.
He only explains after things hit the fan and everything goes to shit. Usually, because his friends have been there to catch him when he falls, and he has to tell them *something* about why there's so much blood on his hands (sometimes literally) yet again. And they get mad at him, but ultimately they forgive him, because fuck, a werewolf and a ghost aren't really in any place to judge now are they. Even then, it's not usually the whole truth.
(And it's interesting, in the what-if scenario where they weren't there to catch him as he fell, just how bad things got)
But then he's afraid he's going to lose Josh, and he's afraid he's going to lose Sally, and he's afraid he's going to die, and he goes to Josh, and he says "I'm scared, and I don't know what to do".
And Josh stops, and realizes that Aiden has never asked him for help, not really, and has never actually been vulnerable with him, and has always worn the brave and stoic face even as things are melting down at catastrophic levels. And he says, I'm here.
Aiden is such a bad victim and he makes some real stinkers of bad choices along the way but they make sense for his character once you learn about all the shit that's happened since he became a vampire and how fucked up things got for him before he realized he needed out. And he backslides and he backslides and he backslides but he keeps trying because what's the point if he doesn't at least try.
Anyway the hill I will die on is that this show would have done numbers on tumblr if it came out slightly later. Ah well.
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Goldenheart fanfic below the break
No smut, but there's a lot of flirty banter and like, one curse word. And a sword fight. But it's a cute duel between knight boyfriends. (With maybe a little a lot of foreshadowing for the movie thrown in)
No idea how long this is other than it's definitely a lot longer than I thought it would be. Anyway. Hope you enjoy this fic of Bal and Amby letting off some steam the night before the knighting ceremony. :)
In the face of adversity, I am by your side
Thwack! Thwack! Thud. Thud. Thwack!
Then, there were the thousands of people in this kingdom that would be watching the knighting ceremony tomorrow. Watching HIM. At least half of those people fiercely believing that he doesn't belong there and is better off back in the ditch he came from.
The training dummy had seen better days, but it took each hit like a pro as Ballister attacked it with thoroughly-practiced precision and a passionate power that's been keeping him going all his life. It is the fire inside him that kept him fighting for what he believed in. In the face of being sneered at for being a poor kid on the street who could barely afford food, let alone the luxurious baths that all the rich folk seemed to think was a necessity if you wanted to receive any sort of empathy.
As well as in the face of the knights and knights in training, his peers, when they let their pride get in the way of seeing him as a useful part of the team when he proved to be more skilled than them.
He's going to have to face a good number of them tomorrow. He's been told about all the things he will have to do in the ceremony and knows them by heart. Ride in formation up to the bottom of the stairs. Stand straight. You will be second to step before the queen, and when you do, you will wait for her to address you first and thank her. Kneel and present your sword to her. After she nods for you to stand, take your sword and stand on your mark to the side.
Swordfighting will not come into this ceremony. No one will draw a sword on anyone.
Still, a large part of the kingdom doesn't agree with that. And it's hard to feel worthy of defending a people when so many of them are telling you you aren't. So he comes out here.
But Balister is still out here in the empty training yard, fighting a dummy. It helps him clear his mind and feel less anxious when he is actively working hard to achieve his goals. The precise marks hitting the dummy in the exact spots he's been hitting it in for years, leaving prominent marks, some scattered and faded from when he was starting out. From where he began.
He really has come a long way.
Thwack. Thwack. Thwack.
He tries his godamn hardest to prove himself.
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
And does his best to ignore all the condescending and sometimes ruthless words and actions that have been thrown his way.
THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!
And knows he'll never truly feel like he deserves to be here!
CLANG!!!
Ballister takes some heavy breaths as he looks at the person behind the sword that has just blocked his own.
He sees blond hair framing a kind, smiling face, and brown eyes looking at him with more love than Balister had ever known before in his life.
There's also some concern.
"Bal. What are you doing?"
Ballister feels heat behind his eyes that had started well before Abrosius stopped him. He lowers his sword and Ambrosius does the same.
"I was just-" he pauses. He wants to make an excuse about how he was just training so he'll sleep better before tomorrow. And while that isn't totally untrue, they both know there's more to this and he doesn't like lying in general, especially to Ambrosius.
"I needed to vent a bit."
"Vent via sword?" Ambrosius draws out the word "sword" with a little lilt in his voice, and tilts his head as he twists his mouth and blinks at Ballister in that silly way that almost always gets at least a chuckle out of him.
He manages to tilt the side of his mouth up in a half smile for a second, still breathing somewhat heavily.
"Yeah, vent via sword."
Ambrosius does a small frown. "You could've come found me you know?"
"You had that fitting for the last touches of your armor for tomorrow and-
"And I would've gladly ditched it to be with you, especially if you needed me." Ambrosius brought his hand to gently hold Balister's face. That, combined with his earnest look, made it easy for Ballister to lean into his hand, both to seek comfort, and maybe hide a bit of his embarrassment as he blushed. Not that he really needs to hide from Ambrosius, but there are some habits Ballister is going to need a long time to break if he ever does at all. He's gotten pretty good at appearing confident, but feeling confident is still a struggle for him. Even though it's a little easier around Ambrosius.
Everything is easier when he's with Ambrosius.
"Besides, do you really think I need more glitz and glamor on that heavy ass armor? Honestly, this face is all I need to be the charming golden boy everybody loves."
Ballister does smile and scoff at that. "First of all, language." Ambrosius rolls his eyes and shakes his head with a dramatic sigh, which only makes Bal smile more. "And second of all, that armor IS pretty eyecatching. A little extra blitz does goes a long way." His hands are around Ambrosius' waist now. Ambrosius' other hand comes up to Ballister's chest. He leans in to whisper barely half an inch away from his lips, "and I wouldn’t be so cocky about the face thing."
Ambrosius gasps, trying not to let the sound turn into laughter." He pushes Bal. They let go of each other, but don't make any more space between them.
"You like my face. You know you do."
Ballister pretends to make a thinking face. "Hmmm, I don't know about that."
Ambrosius steps back and taps his sword saying "well, in that case, I may have to challenge you to a duel, Sir Boldheart." He smirks and wiggles his eyebrows at him.
Balister tries and fails not to smile as he says "are you sure about that. I've beaten you sooo many times before. What makes you think you'll win this time?"
"I have a secret weapon up my sleeve," Ambrosius declares dramatically. "But if you're too scared..." He smiles knowingly.
Ballister's eyes light up with the challenge. He takes a stance.
They circle each other slowly at first. A good couple feet of space between them. Their swords meet flirtatiously a few times before Ballister moves in.
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Ambrosius is backed up a few paces. He turns from Ballister to come at him from a slightly different angle and-
Clang! Clang! Clang!
Ballister meets each blow without moving from his spot. He smiles. Ambrosius narrows his eyes and crinkles his nose jokingly. "Oh, I'm Ballister, and I'm as unmovable as a rock." Their swords continue meeting as Ballister responds. "It's not my fault that you're as unable to stand still as a dancer."
Ambrosius laughs. He does an extra twirl as he brings his leg up to hit him square in the chest. Ballister takes a single step back.
"Not as immovable as you thought then, huh." "Well, if anyone was going to move me, it would be you." Ambrosius stops and turns pink at the sudden sincerity. Ballister takes the chance to swing his sword carefully over Ambrosius' head. His blond curls swooping down from the air as it goes past before popping right back up. Ambrosius looks up in surprise before frowning at him. He raises a single eyebrow that gets a small snicker out of Ballister. Ambrosius goes back in and they continue their playful duel. Each of them put slightly more effort in until Ballister has Ambrosius pushed up against the dummy. Ambrosius tries to wriggle away but can't.
"Give in?" Ballister asks.
Ambrosius pauses before glancing down at his lips. "Nah." And kisses Balister hard enough to knock him just enough off his stance to be able to step back and push Ballister to the ground. They're swords ditched in the fall to avoid any accidents. Ambrosius lands on top of him and sits up, pinning him down. He says triumphantly, "I told you I had a secret weapon."
Ballister shifts a bit then responds with a smirk, "do you now?" Quick as a flash, Ambrosius finds himself flipped onto his back. Ballister leans close enough for their noses to brush and says, "Funnily enough, I do as well," Then quickly stands up and grabs his sword before Ambrosius can flip them again. He points the sword in the general direction of Ambrosius, who is lying on the ground in shock.
"I think this means I win then, yeah?"
Ambrosius lowers his head tiredly and laughs. "Yeah, Bal. I think you definitely win."
Ballister goes over and holds out his hand. Ambrosius takes it and helps himself up with ease before looking Ballister in the eyes. There really is so much love in them. Ballister can hardly believe it.
But then, he really should by now. They've known each other since they were kids and even with the media painting them as rivals, even with nearly everyone else in Ambrosius' life telling him to be someone who, in a world that makes sense to them, would never associate with Bal... Even with all the things making it harder for Ambrosius to love Ballister, he loves him anyway. And, though it wasn't nearly as strong then, he has loved Ballister pretty much since they met. And Ballister has loved Ambrosius just as much.
Ballister has always had his own fire to keep him going. Keeping him fighting. But when Ambrosius became his best friend, he started to think maybe he doesn't have to keep that fire going alone. Now, he knows he doesn't. Even if he still forgets it sometimes, Ambrosius is always there and will always love him. And that makes the fire burn brighter than ever.
"Feeling better?" Ambrosius asks.
Ballister looks at his boyfriend and feels how the abundance of love in his chest has made his anxiety about the ceremony incredibly smaller.
"Yes, I do. Thank you."
"ANY time, Bal." He brings ballister closer to lean their foreheads against one another's.
"I'll always be here for you. I love you."
"I love you too."
They let themselves stay in the comfort of each other's love for the other for a moment. Their breathing slows to an even pace after being heightened in the fight.
Ambrosius leans away. "Wanna get tacos?"
They get tacos to-go for once and giggle as they hold hands all the way up to their secret spot high in the castle. They sit shoulder to shoulder as they start unwrapping their tacos and settle in to watch the sunset together.
Both of them are still nervous about tomorrow. They each have mountains of expectations that will be pressing that much more heavily into their shoulders as the eyes of thousands bear down on them. But they will take on the challenge together.
As Ambrosius leans into him, Ballister looks at the bright pink hues in the sky and thinks to himself with a surprising amount of certainty, "Whatever happens tomorrow, I know I'm not alone."
#nimona movie#nimona#goldenheart#ballister x ambrosius#balister boldheart#ambrosius goldenloin#pre movie#foreshadowing#banter#rivals to lovers#sort of#no smut#just a lot of flirting#and hand holding#i like fluff okay#fluff#especially fluff with underlying angst in stories where you know what's going to happen#but keep reading anyway#i might do a part 2#but if i do#it'll mirror the scene where they fight in the movie and go through the emotions of how that fight is so different from this fight#and so much more painful#did you like my pink sunset foreshadowing how Nimona will be helping Ballister into the next phase of his life after the impending trauma#that's about to happen?#i felt proud of it#maybe a little too proud#sword#swordfighting#i kind of combined the characterization from both movie and the comic book for these two#nimona comic
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Transformers animated starscream with promt 14 and 55
Sure! I struggled with the plot a bit so I asked for help :) This is what I got as a result! You're an Autobot that Starscream is obsessed with and he just so happens to find you dying.
Based off TFA but the plot is not TFA specific.
Yandere! TFA! Starscream Prompts 14 + 55
"It's too dangerous in the world. You need me, you should know that!"
"Now there's always a part of me with you...."
Pairing: Romantic
Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Violence, Manipulation, Cybertronian/Cybertronian, Angst Ig, Energon transfusions, Delusional Starscream, Forced relationship, Coercion.
It's easy to get someone to listen to you when you put them in a position they're forced to. It doesn't matter the side when you're on the brink of life and death. All that matters is survival.
Starscream is an opportunist.
When an opportunity presents itself that will benefit him in the end, he takes it. When he saw you, the Autobot that's been plaguing his mind, dying in front of him due to a battle with Megatron...
Well he just had to step in, right?
In this situation you had no choice but to take his help. You can't refuse him and you Autobots only ever wish to help anyways, right? So please, let him help you as it's the "Autobot" thing to do.
Starscream and you are enemies, it's clear to anyone by the insignias on your body. You hate him, yet Starscream has always had an interesting relationship towards you. He used to hate you until the thought of you infected his processor like a virus.
Now all he ever wants is you. You're an Autobot yet he holds a fondness towards you that he just can't shake. Somehow you've made him soft. He found such feelings pathetic.
Despite him trying to ignore his feelings towards his enemy... he couldn't help but jump at the opportunity to nurse you back to health.
Perhaps part of him hoped you'd be indebted to him. Although, maybe it was something darker due to what he was doing. What better way to make an Autobot indebted to a Decepticon than giving them what they need in the moment?
In your case... you need Energon.
Starscream just so happens to have some to spare.
He couldn't believe himself when he hooked up the line between you and him. A transfusion... not only are you his enemy but he isn't even a medic. Despite this he makes an effort to save your spark.
Maybe you don't have to be his enemy after this? You may not have a choice but to respect him once you realized he saved you. He could've left you to die.
Deep down he knows he probably couldn't live with himself afterwards.
Part of him felt giddy when he managed to make a decent flow of Energon between you. This was his own little experiment. Plus... it gave him pride to know that his Energon would be flowing within you.
His essence would be the thing that powers you from now on.
In a way, he's claimed you as his...
You can never get rid of his mark unless you bleed yourself out! You'll always have the blood of a Decepticon!
You'll always have the blood of Starscream now, a constant reminder of the fact he came in and saved you after Megatron made an effort to kill you.
His red optics stare at your shaking body. He scans you over and notices your blue optics open to look at him. The look on your face is priceless when you see what he's doing.
"Now there's always a part of me with you...." Starscream taunts, a cocky grin on his face as he sees you struggle to sit up.
"Starscream...!?"
"I bet the shame burns..." Starscream continues, looking back towards the on-going transfusion. "To get help from your enemy? Don't you feel... shameful? Maybe even a little thankful? You're lucky I decided to help...."
"W-Why would you even bother?" You croak out weakly. Starscream gives you a look like he's unsure of how to answer before venting in frustration.
"I have my own reasons! You should be grateful! You could've went offline without my help~!"
"I don't need your help...."
"Oh, please!" Starscream scoffs. "Look how well you did without my help? You nearly died and no one came to help you except me, did they!?"
Starscream leans closer, red optics boring into your own.
"It's too dangerous in the world. You need me, you should know that!" Starscream teases in somewhat of a mocking tone. "Think about it, we could work together! We both hate Megatron. We both need to help each other out. Why bother fighting the Con who saved your life?"
"I'd rather die than work with a treacherous Con such as you!"
"Harsh words to use when I'm the one who saved your spark!" Starscream pouts, trailing a claw carefully along the transfusion device. "It's not like you'll have much of a choice after this. You'll always have part of me inside you."
For a moment it looks like he enjoyed saying that.
"You'll never be able to get rid of me, so why don't you give into it? I saved you... you owe me."
"I don't owe a Decepticon scrap!"
"You say that like you're not drinking up my Energon." Starscream grins, grabbing at the tube with a claw. "But if you really don't need me as you say, you won't mind this!"
With a sharp tug Starscream yanks the tube free. Pain overtakes you and you double over. You have enough Energon to live yet everything is woozy. Starscream watches you struggle on the ground to get to your feet before cackling.
"See!? See!? Give up your pride, Autobot. Accept the fact a Decepticon had to help you. Don't you know I'm only trying to CARE for you?"
"You care for no one-"
"Oh... that's not true! I care for you! Why else would I help you?"
Starscream's voice is in more of a taunt than genuine care. It's like he's mocking you and what you stand for. That's expected of him.
"Well, go on then! Walk it off if you don't need me!"
You try to stand but clank helplessly on the ground. This only makes Starscream laugh more before he picks you up. You're quickly forced to lean against him with shame in your eyes.
"Face it... you'll need me in a world such as this. You're all alone... vulnerable to everything." Starscream urges, walking with you pitifully trying to stay up against him.
"I saved you... now you have to do what I say. You owe me and I'm ordering you to stay by me as an ally... I want you to be all mine." Starscream orders lowly, observing the fear in your eyes. His smile is wicked when he sees you so frightened.
"You should know I don't help others for free, my dearest Autobot...."
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Listen. The way that universities treat ADHD is deplorable. The way that the public at large treats ADHD is just as bad, but universities in particular are fresh on my mind, given where I am in life, about a month post-graduation.
This post is a bit of a preamble. Bear with me.
I struggled through three and a half years of genuine college being the way I am with no buffer; had an unwelcome epiphany of a diagnosis at the end of my second-to-last semester; and had the best semester, confidence- and social-life-wise of my life-- which was, simultaneously, the worst semester of my life academically. I have gone on and on about organic chemistry and how it fucked with me, but I don't know that I have gone into why.
Post-diagnosis, I was presented with the opportunity to tell my ochem professor about anything that could be an issue during the semester. I debated it; I debated it very seriously; but this form was a graded assignment, and I had to either tell him or not tell him, and it was better than I tell him than not. So, I told him, in very edited-down words, that I have some issues with anxiety and I have ADHD. Both have, because of how I am as a person, meant that I have to approach labs in a certain way and I probably will freak out at some point, but I was optimistic that it wouldn't be an issue at that point, and I would recuse myself to the hall if it was. (After all, I'd been medicated for about a month and, in that time, had survived moot court, navigated a family member's arrest that I advised on forensically, and cooked for two family events. I was fine. I was only medicated for the sake of anxiety. It was working as planned.)
I have a bone to pick with that professor in particular for a lot of reasons. He had a lot of interactions with women that rubbed me the wrong way, but none of them crossed that line like they did with me. I told him the way that things were going for me, I told him what I needed (a chance to eat before class, some extensions as needed on assignments, and clarifications on what he wanted done with equipment), and he consistently held me to a higher standard to other students, stepped in to mess with my fume hood when I didn't ask him to, and, importantly, would dock anyone up to five points from their labwork for being late to class, meaning that I couldn't eat before lab, since I had to sprint uphill from my osteology class-- which he knew, because that was something I told him. I vented very briefly, in exasperation, to my Senate advisor, who was the only member of faculty anywhere near administration who knew about my ADHD; and, when she asked why I didn't see about more formal accommodations, I reminded her the state of our school's Disability Services processes, which we were in the middle of advocating for fixing, as a block (famously hard to navigate and famously impossible to get through in a timely manner, meaning I wouldn't be able to do anything about it before I graduated-- and it wouldn't guarantee nonretaliation anyway).
And you know what? I got a D+ not because of him, but in SPITE of him. I got a C total not because of him, but in SPITE of him. Eat my FUCKING ass.
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Thanks for tagging me (ages ago I'm sorry I suck) @puppy-phum
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1. why did you choose your url?
I am so boring I almost want to apologise for it. My url is just my nickname and the year I was born (yes, I am old).
2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.
I don't really use my sideblogs much. I've got one that I haven't used for years that I used to post some of my photography on @hal-photography. I've got one for an old UK convention that folded during the pandemic but that I used to do the marketing for @writerconuk and I've got a whump blog that I use to reblog my favourite whumpy gifs so that they're easy to find. Not sharing that one because I do not wish to be Perceived.
3. how long have you been on tumblr?
My original blog was set up in 2010. I had to nuke it after some unpleasantness in the Supernatural fandom (isn't it always SPN) and I've had this current once since 2011 I think
4. do you have a queue tag?
Nah, I don't queue things as a general rule. I do a bunch of reblogging first thing in the morning while I'm scrolling in bed and that's more or less it
5. why did you start your blog in the first place?
I was looking for a new home after Livejournal finally properly died and most fandom folk were here at that time
6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?
It's a piece of DMBJ art that my housemate comissioned as a Christmas present a couple of years ago. I love it, and it was made specifically for me, so I made it my header and my icon
7. why did you choose your header?
Same as above
8. what’s your post with the most notes?
This RDJ/Paul Bettany exchange I ripped from Twitter. I have no idea why it ended up with 20k notes
9. how many mutuals do you have?
I honestly have no idea. Lots.
10. how many followers do you have?
Argh now I'm going to have to go and look. 2421. Wow.
11. how many people do you follow?
Wow this thing is really exposing me. 1908. I generally follow back so long as I can see that the person is an active fandom blog where we have at least one fandom in common.
12. have you ever made a shitpost?
I mostly shitpost in the tags
13. how often do you use tumblr each day?
Generally for an hour in the morning before I get up and then however long it takes me to liveblog my next drama episode in the evening
14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?
No, I don't think so. Not that I can remember anyway. I generally try and avoid conflict and if someone is annoying me I just block them and/or vent about it in a safe space with friends I trust.
15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts
Makes me less inclined to reblog them tbh. Don't tell me what to do in my own house.
16. do you like tag games?
I am so bad at remembering to do them when I get tagged (see above about only really being on tumblr for an hour a day) but I do appreciate it every time someone thinks of me
17. do you like ask games?
Yeah, same as above. I love them but I am crap at remembering to answer the asks. I'm very sorry.
18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?
I'm not sure I could name anyone who is tumblr famous beyond the actual celebrities who hang out here (like Lynda Carter)
19. do you have a crush on a mutual?
I have mutuals I admire and wish I was brave enough to talk to more but I wouldn't really call them crushes. As an aroace I don't really do crushes.
20. tags?
I'm going to tag a few of my newer mutuals so I can get to know them a bit better. Absolutely no pressure though @prolestari @queenbeyondthejudge @fangirl-bookaholic @huzzzah @life-is-all-about-perspective @loving-that-officey-feel @greenyball @hwasfeatherduster
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Ok I’m FINALLY in a place where I have a minute and brain space to recount some of my Convention highlights:
I got 2 hugs from Nana Visitor. And she told me I look good as a Bajoran, asked me what I do, and when I told her, she asked what I do to take care of myself.
I also got told by multiple people that my eyes look similar to Nana’s (brown eyes next to the nose ridge?)
On Saturday, I wore my Kippah with my cosplay, going from Morning Services to Convention.
At one point, Robert Picardo was talking and John Billingsley was crouching down in order to surprise him and his face turned red. I thought he was having a heart attack.
I put my hand on his shoulder and was like “sir, are you okay,” until someone was like “he’s fine he’s just heckling Bob Picardo.”
Thankfully, he didn’t notice
I was a bit late for my photo with the (present) members of the DS9 cast. They had to bring Penny Johnson-Jerald back, but everyone was very gracious, understanding, and sweet.
“Who am I taking a picture with! Oh my goodness, you are too cute,” she (Penny Johnson-Jerald) also wanted to know my first and last name
They stationed Rosie, my Rollator, “center seat.” Terry Farrell complimented my vest, which I crocheted myself, and very excitedly told me she just learned how to crochet.
(I commented that despite my disability, I am unable to sit still and was taught to cope with hyperactivity and keep myself from fidgeting too bad).
J.G. Hertzler at one point approached me and was like “that [my Rollator] looks handy! Can I take a seat?” And growl chuckled and clapped my shoulder ( Klingon friendly style) when I was like “that is not honorable.”
Later he stopped me again. Apparently, one of his loved ones has MS, uses a rollator, but unlike Rosie, hers is not upright, and they are worried about it contributing to back problems. He wanted to know more, how to find one.
I asked Siddig a somewhat rambling question about Julian’s disability, Eugenics, and how that may have affected his relationship to other disabled characters, and disability in trek vs our Society as a whole.
I had my hand up for a minute and he was like “relax, you got next question” I was kind of embarrassed but then he was like “I don’t think you’re hyperactive, I just want you to not exhaust yourself“
He listened attentively, and he gave a vent like answer where he was like “I see your concerns about Star Trek obscuring / erasing disability… my general thoughts are that we are all racist (i was born in Arab Africa, in Sudan, riddled by geopolitical conflicts, Africans are also racist) we are all ableist, and all have the potential to be disabled . And unfortunately, it’s your job to appeal to me as an able bodied person, and my job to appeal to [another audience member] as a brown person …And why we need to work to change laws first, before we work on everything else. Sorry, didn’t mean to get all political.”
Later, I was sitting outside the venue for mingling because of autism ears and photosensitivity.
And he approached me and was like “hey, how are you doing? I just wanted to check in on you.”
Naturally, I aspirated my saliva and stammered something about avoiding the noise and migraines.
I didn’t think he remembered my name (one point I was attempting to steer around him and he was like “so sorry, sweet thing,”) but later when he was signing my autograph! He did! I did have to spell it, but I usually do anyways bc it’s spelled not the typical way.
At one point, I dropped a change of clothes I had packed and Bonnie Gordon came up to me “Darling, I thought your days as a stripper were over.”
Thank goodness I developed a tolerance for making a damn fool of myself.
There’s so much more. I met many cool people, including several folks I knew previously only on tumblr (hi, @xenobotanist @philosopherking1887 @cardassiangoodreads @ettaberrytea and multiple others I am forgetting just now) I got to hang out IRL with some people from the SidCity Social Club, which previously I only lurked at.
I’m still absolutely filled up with warmth. Like I can take anything
#sorry this is so long#and sappy#last year was incredibly difficult#it’s gotten so much better but I’ve still been really isolated in many ways#Star Trek#convention#dni con#ds9#voy#ent#disability#Rosie the Rollator#julian bashir#siddig el fadil#nana visitor#jg herzler#martok#kira nerys#terry farrell#penny johnson jerald#jadzia dax#kasidy yates#ramblings#personal shit#ngl there’s a demon on my shoulder that’s like “they were nice bc you were the poor little cripple”#but sometimes you have to take kindness at face value#and I also truly think Siddig is among the kindest people I’ve met
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Hi! I saw your requests for tf2 were open, so I was wondering if you could do something with spy or sniper and an insecure gn reader? Feel free to ignore this if your not feeling it^^ have a nice day!
Spy and Sniper Giving You Affirmations!
[GN!Reader]
[Warnings: I mention gender dysphoria a lot in here]
[AN: been in my inbox nearly 2 months im so sorry </3. Also my road w gender has been fascinating but the past few years I've identified as a ciswoman. So, if anything here reads as odd or uncomfortable, let me know and I'll change/edit as requested!]
Reblogs are appreciated!
Spy
Weirdly I think out of the two of them he's the most understanding about this. And I don't mean understanding he would hate you otherwise and be a dick (he's always a dick but not like that), he's just weirdly educated on the topic but refuses to outright admit it.
Anyways, yeah so you're going through one of those days where the dysphoria is getting especially bad. How can he help? He loves you, and I think one of his love languages is acts of service.
So, how can he help you feel less of that? He knows that there's societal expectations for you to look the way the sex that you were born as, would you like to go in another direction? Do you want to vent?
Just let him know and he'll do his best to accommodate. He's very affirming in your identity and will always perceive you as you wish to be perceived.
If your insecurities are in anything else, he's a big hype man without being a stereotypical hype man. He's very realistic and gives a sense of tough love when it comes to loving and trusting, even becoming neutral with yourself. He won't let you talk down about yourself. That's not good for you.
He will always uplift you. By no means is he super duper soft, but he will uplift you and remind you of your worth every single day.
Sniper
Doesn't understand this stuff at all. Very big "what other people do isn't my business" but you're his partner and this is really important to you so now he needs to brush up on what you're talking about.
He's always found the gender binary kind of silly. Understands the concept of being gender neutral, or fluid, but that's about it. Even then, his understanding is flawed. This does not mean he is totally inept though. He's your biggest supporter.
Much like Spy, what do you need? He's a man of action. He will listen to you, support you, and uplift you. You just need to tell him exactly what you want.
Though, he's very observant. If you're not able to say it, he's pretty much on it before you can even start to think of the words to ask. Whether that's breaking away from what other people think you are, or getting you things to feel more at home with who you want to present as, he's very thoughtful and introspective!
He also has a lot of affirmations for you. Has you repeat things like, "I am strong", what not because he read it in the back of a newspaper once while holed up in a sniper's nest for a job.
If it's not related to this, then he's also got a tough love approach but somehow a bit softer than Spy. I think he's more prone to listening, and then acting, whereas Spy manages them all together. Sometimes, you need to be angry and upset or sad, and that's okay. Mundy will support and love you through it all.
#spy x reader#spy headcanon#sniper x reader#sniper headcanon#tf2 x you#tf2 x reader#team fortress 2 headcanons#team fortress 2 x reader
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I try not to post too much personal stuff on this blog, but I occasionally need to vent. Today is one of those days.
It’s going to be a long post, so I’ll put it under a cut.
I met this gal back when I got my first job probably about six thousand years ago. It feels like it’s been six thousand years because we’ve known each other a long time. It was between 2009 and 2010 I think. Anyway, we hit it off. We’re still friends to this day. She’s got two sons. When I first met her, she was in an abusive relationship with their father. She was never married to him, but it took ages for her to get out of that situation and get her life back. She’s had a couple of short term relationships after that, then — I want to say several years ago — she started dating a different guy.
She described him as “the one” — her soulmate, I guess. She moved into his place eventually, but then things that weren’t noticed before began to come to light. Major red flags. He became increasingly violent toward her, even if her children were present, and did some concerning things. Let’s just say I listen to a true crime podcast and have heard horrifyingly similar stories on it that closely match the things my friend has told me about this individual.
Alright, fast forward a bit — she gets out of that relationship and is free. He begs her to come back, promising to go to therapy and get on medication. She returns without a second thought, but it was a ploy to get her to go back. She left again and didn’t speak to him. She was happy and finally enjoying her life with her kids.
It’s been a blur, but I believe I received the news about two weeks ago. She went to Earth Day Birthday, and the guy was there. Supposedly he’d moved to Tennessee and was only visiting for the event. He’s not going back to Tennessee. He is signing the lease and moving into the apartment with my friend. She is allowing this without a second thought. He promised her the things he promised her to get her to come back in the first place, so he is to move in with her this Wednesday.
I have informed her that I cannot — nor will I be — around him. He has become physically violent with her and would not allow her to go out to see her friends. They would not visit her either because they’re scared of him. For somebody’s sake, he was jealous of me I guess because he thought she and I were a couple.
I’m frustrated because after everything she told me and how desperate she was to escape, she’s letting him move in just like that with no proof that he’s not just talking like he was before. All she’s known is abuse, and her kids are growing up in that environment and will think it’s normal and okay.
*angry snake noises*
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Welcome to my blog!
Hi there! My name is Shiloh, but mutuals can call me whatever they want (my name doesn't really have any nicknames tho haha). I go by any pronouns and don't really have a preference
This is a casual side blog, my main is @mythological-mayhem!
I am aroace and a minor
Few important rules/boundaries I have on my blog:
No donation asks, this is why 👇
I'm a minor, so 18+ DNI (If you're a 18+ blog I've interacted with before on this account, I promise you I have nothing against you it's just that I don't want 18+ ppl interacting with this blog anymore. feel free to interact on my main though)
No nsfw blogs please (I will block on sight)
No homophobes, transphobes, racists, ableists, etc etc
Don't ask for my age or any personal details. If you're a close friend, you already know. If not, pls don't ask (and close friends pls don't share my info with anyone :])
Please don't DM me.
Don't send me problematic/controversial asks, and don't tag me in problematic/controversial stuff.
I won't talk about current events a lot if at all on here. This doesn't mean I don't have my opinions on what's going on right now, but I would rather not express them on this blog, which is a chill space for me to escape reality sometimes.
Pleasepleaseplease send me asks thoooo
Fandoms I'm in:
Riordanverse (also Rick Riordan Presents!)
Sunbearer Trials
The Owl House
Gravity Falls
Amphibia
Hamilton
Epic: The Musical/The Odyssey (is that a fandom? idk but I rly like it)
X Men 97
The Hunger Games
Feel free to converse with me about any of these, I'd actually appreciate the opportunity to ramble :]]
Tags:
#shiloh's shenanigans = normal stuff n original posts
#moot spotted <3 = Mutual stuff
#shiloh hyperfixates = Reblogging or posting about something that I've been obsessing over for a while
#shiloh needs to fortify = vent tag. I don't ever vent on here but just in case?
#shiloh arts = my art stuff!! I'm pretty mid at art but I might post some on here sometime
#ask = asks
Mutuals will have their own tags very soon, #moot spotted <3 is a bit of a placeholder for my mutual tag system rn haha.
Anyway welcome to my blog, I hope you enjoy it here! :DDD
Dividers by sister-lucifer on Tumblr
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23- Hopeful
Was fully not intending to post today because of burnout, but what can I say, Chipp Zanuff infected my brain. Weeb jokes aside, he really is such a cool character with such a cool personal philosophy and outlook on the world.
Content warning for some talking about drugs and addiction, it's all taken from canon but still.
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Tent doors didn’t slam. You could try, but the best you could manage was an awkward slap of canvas-on-canvas that was embarrassing to witness. It was good that the sound couldn’t wake up anyone who may have been asleep, but when you were already annoyed, having that failure only made you even more so.
Chipp gave up after about three attempts, coming to the realization that it wasn’t going to go the way he wanted. Instead, he threw his hands into the air, let out an angry bark, and stormed over to his bed. It felt like throwing a temper tantrum, and he was pretty well aware of how undignified he looked at the moment, but that wasn’t enough to shake him out of his funk. The best thing he could think of was to shove his face into the pillow until it drowned out his inelegant screams.
Failure. Failure. Answer had said it would be different this time. The kingdom had doubled in size and population since the last application they’d sent in. It should have been a shoo-in, how did it end the same way?? How did they get rejected again?!
Answer had taken it with a lot more grace. Just shrugged and said something about proving themselves even more. Chipp hadn’t paid much attention to it. By the time he had gotten through the rejection letter, he was seeing red. He had just enough sense to go and vent his feelings where the general populace wouldn’t be able to watch him stamp his feet and try to pull out his hair.
His head hurt enough before he could even get to the hair-pulling. It was enough to dissuade him from that, at least. Goodness knew he didn’t need a bald patch.
“Stupid!” He shouted into his pillow, fists bunching the sheets. “Stupid UN, stupid delegation, stupid fuckin’ propositions…”
After a small eternity of waving his fists around, Chipp managed to sit up. He ignored the wet spots on the pillow. His lungs still felt too tight for deep breathing, but he tried to force it anyway.
He reached down.
From under the bed came a dented cardboard box, edges taped and retaped so as to retain some form of structural integrity. It was small, but managed to have a bit of heft to it still. Chipp half-blindly fished through it, nudging aside a few textbooks and language dictionaries until his fingers brushed against something spiral-bound. A thumb hooked one of the loops and hauled it out of the pile.
’Sobriety Journal,’ it read in faded black ink. A thin layer of dust had formed on the cover, easily brushed away with the back of a hand. Chipp attempted another deep breath, this one a little longer than the last, and flipped the book open.
The first few entries were written in childish chicken-scratch. To be fair, he had been around seventeen, and he’d been a high school dropout for some time. The spelling was crude and rough, too, but apparently good enough to be able to spell several different expletives.
Despite his mood, Chipp found himself laughing. The tone was pretty childish too, cursing aside. Whining about the strange man who had insisted on helping him, bemoaning the stranger’s plans for weaning him off of the pills and starting the journal. How he had no intention to take any of it seriously, and was only scribbling in the lines as a way to make himself look busy. How it wasn’t going to last.
Present-Chipp rapped his knuckles on the thick stack of paper that lay under the entry. “Not gonna last, huh, buddy?”
He flipped further and further into the depths of the journal. Cataloging his journey with Master Tsuyoshi, and all the ups and downs it entailed. Though he had to pause a moment at the inarticulate scribbles of anger and despair that he knew, without looking at the dates in the margins, were the first few days after his master’s death. Chipp tried to focus more on the blurbs closer to the bottom.
I’m gonna get off them! I’m finally gonna fucking get off them!!
God it’s so hard today
I want pills so bad, my wrist won’t stop itching. Maybe I can sneak out
Today’s the day! I’m done! I’m done for good! No more drugs for me!”
I broke my streak today…
FUCK! IT���S SO HARD I CAN’T DO IT FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK
Gonna take it slow. Maybe that’s the secret?
That’s what the book had been for initially. It said it right on the cover. Tsuyoshi had mentioned keeping a journal to try and chronicle his path through sobriety. Chipp had expected it to be a linear path from addiction to temperance, but he hadn’t been more wrong. His feelings and cravings could vary from day to day, and even when he felt so confident in his resolve, something could come along and send him spinning back into his old habits. Yet his master had never derided him for it, never insulted him for his weakness. It had taken him many years to understand it.
The last handful of entries were a few years old. As he got more distracted by the big project, his journaling had simply slipped his mind. He felt a pang of guilt over it, but he also knew beating himself up over it wouldn’t help matters.
Remembering what it was that he’d come for, Chipp flipped to another page near the book’s end.
’If I’m counting right, then I’ve been clean for a little over two years. No pills, no shots, nothing. Feels like it should have been longer, I’ve been at this for a lot of years, but that’s okay. It doesn’t have to be perfect right now. I just gotta work hard today and hope it’ll get better tomorrow.’
His journal shut with a satisfying thump. Hope. That was it. He’d overcome a lot through hard work and dedication, and a little bit of hope sprinkled on top. This wasn’t too different. If it wasn’t going the way that he wanted, it wasn’t the end of the world. He just had to dust himself off, take a different approach, put his all into it, and hope for a better turn next time.
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caretaking
prompt: "i don't feel so good", cold compress
whumpee: eddie diaz
fandom: 911
hi here's another eddie whump fic :) this one is pre-buddie and that's about all there is to know. hope you enjoy it!
They’re out shopping for birthday presents for Chris - Buck can’t believe how old this kid is getting - and Eddie is strangely silent. And not in the content-to-listen-to-Buck-talk-on-and-on kind of way.
Something is up.
Buck doesn’t want to pry, not yet. He trusts Eddie to tell him if something is really wrong. He might just be tired. It’s been a long week, and Buck knows that Eddie never sleeps as much as he should, anyway.
They’re in the electronics aisle, looking at some ridiculously expensive headphones, when Eddie taps Buck’s shoulder.
“Hey, Buck?”
Buck turns his attention away from the pair of bright blue headphones he’s been eyeing.
“Yeah?”
Eddie is looking straight at him, but also sort of through him. His eyes are glassy and unfocused and there’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead that wasn’t there before.
“I don’t feel so good.”
He sways forward a little, grabbing onto Buck’s arm to keep his balance. Buck can feel the feverish heat emanating from Eddie’s palms.
“Okay, let’s, let’s find somewhere to sit down,” he suggests. The last thing they need is for Eddie to collapse in the middle of the store.
But Eddie shakes his head. “I’m okay,” he mumbles, though Buck is sure Eddie knows he doesn’t believe him. “Can we…I want to go home.”
“Yeah,” Buck agrees. “I’ll get you home.”
They slowly walk out of the store, headphones forgotten. Buck lets Eddie choose how much contact they have. At first, they walk separately, though still close enough to touch. But then Eddie starts slowing down, and Buck knows what he’s asking for without him having to say it.
He slips an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and takes on a bit of his weight. He’s really burning up. All Buck can think about is getting to his Jeep, getting Eddie off his feet and into the intense air-conditioning in the front seat.
The walk through the parking lot is miserable. It’s the middle of summer and the air is still and hot. Eddie grabs onto Buck’s arm and leans more heavily onto him. His palms are clammy and Buck can hear him trying to breathe deeply and evenly. He’s sort of succeeding, but not really.
In the car, Buck cranks the air-conditioning and points all the vents towards the passenger seat. Eddie leans his head back and closes his eyes, and Buck drives as fast as he dares to Eddie’s address.
They’re only outside for a short time this go around, and being off his feet and in the cool air seems to have done Eddie a marginal amount of good. He walks inside without needing Buck’s support, though he does need Buck to unlock the door - his hands are shaking.
Inside, Buck gets down to business immediately.
“Go lie down,” he instructs. “Take off your clothes and don’t get under the blankets.”
He doesn’t think that last part is strictly necessary to even say aloud - no way Eddie is going to crawl beneath the covers when his hair is so damp with sweat he looks like he’s just come out of the shower - but it doesn’t hurt to be safe.
While he waits for Eddie to get himself settled, Buck fills up a large glass of ice water, grabs a bottle of Tylenol and a thermometer, and dampens a washcloth with cool water.
He finds Eddie in his boxers atop the covers, lying flat on his back with his eyes half-closed.
“Sit up a little,” Buck says, and Eddie pushes himself into what could charitably be called a sitting position.
Buck takes his temperature - 102 - and then hands him the water and the medicine. Eddie takes the pills with no resistance. He drinks the water until he nearly chokes on it.
“How are you feeling?” Buck asks, as Eddie lies back down.
Eddie shrugs against the pillow. “Hot,” he mumbles.
“You’ve got a 102-degree fever,” Buck agrees. “Here.”
He carefully drapes the damp, cool washcloth onto Eddie’s forehead. For a second, Eddie stiffens up at the unexpected temperature change, but he quickly relaxes.
“‘S nice,” he decides.
“Do you need anything else?”
Eddie looks up at him, exhausted and miserable and open.
“Will you stay?”
“Course I will. As long as you want.”
thanks for reading!!!
#whumptober2023#no.13#i don't feel so good#cold compress#911#fic#eddie diaz#sick#fever#cared for#my writing#i say things#realized i fucked up tagging some other posts and now i have to go fix it. ough.#oh happy friday the 13th btw! (i say as i'm typing on the 6th)#best possible friday the 13th occasion though. spooky etc.
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Second introduction cause why not?
~~~so hiii my nickname is Lila or Carla so you can call me like that:)
I am an obey me roleplay account my oc is not canon but she is very fun :(
Nsfw asks will not be taken (but you can get freaky just renember that i am a minor a tennager to be exact i will not share my age but it's 13-15 so dont be weird if you are an adult i beg!) and ofc if you send weird shit like nsfw about Luke or any young ocs you will be blocked!
Any transphobic,Homophobic racist etc asks will be ignored and blocked!
People younger than 12 do not message me i am litteraly older than you!
If you want to vent talk about your mental health you can always message me in private.
Renember that i am a human being too so rude asks ,grape asks will be ignored.
Renember to be nice to everyone! Exept if it's an important part of your anon and that the other person is fine with it
I am VERY romantic i love romance sm ksskskqkq
Anons:
🐸,🦦,☕,💜,🦴,🦲,🐊,🐌 🌻
Romantic asks are fine. In fact please flirt with me i giggle and kick my feet every time
I may not answer the asks not because i find you annoying but cause i have exams and i need to study !
I almost cant get uncomfortable so get freaky or cringe i dont mind!
If i send requests to a blog i will use" 💣" as an anon so please dont pretend to be me and annoy other blog owners!
Btw my Oc (Lila) is a bit of a meanie meanwhile my second oc (Carla) is sarcastic so before asking requests please tell me if you want to talk with me or one of my ocs! Thank you very much.
Presentation of Lila
Oh soo hiii I guess ? My name is Lila i am 18 one the exchange students i hope we can all get along an be friends! Exept Lucitrash ofc every Lucitrash enemies are my friends! Anyways i also have a soft spot for my bird Chinchalla and childrens they are just so cute
Her sexuality is Omni with a preference for women (she is also VERY open to poly relationships cause she was never loved as a child and all so she want A LOT OF LOVE)
Presentation of Carla
Ohh so hi i am Lila's sister i am half demon and half human i am very old so i dont know my age💔 but i am mentally 13 happy to meet you i hope we can be friends and go to picninc together :) exept if you hate on my sister :( my nickname is Chino.... even if my sister is the only one who call me like that....i want friends! So please be my friend! (my sister call me a depressed emo kid...idk why:)
She is Bi and please dont do Nsfw with her she may be VERY WAY older than 1000000 but she still has the mentality of a 13 years old girl!
Ooc : i manly use my oc Lila when i talk i only use Carla when an anon or someone want to talk with her and i will say it once again if you are an adult do not send weird shit i am a tennager who wants to have fun.
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can i just... vent a bit. recently, maybe over the last couple years, i have been bumping into more and more things that are minor inconveniences to me at best but make me so mad on behalf of others.
all local university buildings are now only accessible with a student or employee id. i have one so i don't care beyond being slightly slowed down coming and going but those used to be public buildings, with cool unique stuff on display in the hallways and beautiful old architecture, largely empty at some times of day/week, and now you can only come in if you have an appointment or there's a special event. they're justifying it as a security measure because of a school shooting last year but the process of installing turnstiles was underway before that.
a big library building made all disabled bathroom stalls only accessible to eurokey holders. not everyone who needs to use those stalls has or can get one. this also greatly reduced the number of available stalls during peak times, and locked away the paper towel dispensers, so everyone is now queuing for a single hand-dryer per floor. great job guys, everyone loses. they're justifying it by people frequently vandalizing the bathrooms, which is fucking bullshit.
at the same library i was woken up from a quick powernap by security, because i was curled up on a comfy couch, and apparently you're only allowed to sleep in the library if you're sitting at a table. i was about to wake up and get back to typing anyway and didn't care outside of it being a bit embarrassing but we can all see this is just an attempt to get rid of people without shelter right
a nearby train station was under renovation recently and i was presently surprised that the public bathrooms were a lot more easily accessible and free of charge. but then they officially opened and turns out it was just free because it would be a hassle to charge money while they were renovating, and the fee went up. the bus station/mall across the street from there went from free bathrooms to free on a different floor but paid close to the bus terminals, to all paid, in maybe 10 years. they also don't have an actual way to get large luggage past the turnstiles at this bus station(!), so you better have someone watch it for you i guess. i don't really have an effective way to complain about all this because i don't live in the town, just pass through often enough.
so many free amenities and services were taken away during covid lockdowns and, predictably, never came back or got paywalled. fucking malls have paid public bathrooms now, and replaced sitting areas with kiosks. some of the more high-end malls outside the city center still have them but will ask you to get lost if an employee thinks you look like you won't be spending money there.
for the past two years many public buildings, like train stations and libraries, as well as privately owned malls, have been swarming with goons in security vests walking around trying to look tough. big coincidence this started when the first wave of ukrainian refugees got here, i'm sure. if you ask why there's a need to have four wannabe cops in a regional train station when there wasn't just a few years ago they'll just say it's a security measure and get mad at you.
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