#anyways... poor seph

[flowersinmidgar]

literally him for the entirety of crisis core

[bearsandswears]

Not gonna finish this dad!Gale sketch so I just cleaned it up a bit.

I’m not gonna say their kids intentionally ask to go for walks when it’s raining to look for cute stray animals to tug at Asena’s heartstrings, but I will say this is far from an isolated incident.

[master-of-the-opera-house]

THANKS FOR THE MATCHING HEADER IMAGE 🤡🩷

happy ‘everyone told you not to go to Sarajevo’ day to Franz Ferdinand

this monstrosity is dedicated to @master-of-the-opera-house. it’s all for you, all for you, all for you (Michael)

[altocat]

Sorry these are backwards number-wise but anyway POTENTIAL ANGST AND FLUFF FOR SEPHCANONS

42. 3 comfort items

37. What they really think about themselves

35. Their idea of a perfect day

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

24. Most annoying habit

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them (I love your song recs for Seph, so whichever one is your fav right now, I would love to know 😈)

3. Obscure headcanon

42. 3 comfort items

His photo album (featuring pictures of Genesis, Angeal, and his ten day mission with Team Glenn)

His weighted blanket (reserved for his most stressful days)

The stupid silly stress toy Zack gave him for Christmas hehehe he squeezes it all the time and is quietly delighted at the squeaking sound it makes.

37. What they really think about themselves

I honestly think Sephiroth has extremely low self-esteem based on how he talks about himself/his relationships in First Soldier and Crisis Core. I think there's obviously a lot of confusion within him about what he is and what he was made for. But I also think he...doesn't really like himself all that much. He's confident in his abilities on the battlefield, but not much else. Really, I think he doubts himself a lot, and carries a lot of guilt over the past. He mostly just seems depressed and resigned.

35. Their idea of a perfect day

An entire day away from Midgar with Genesis and Angeal, preferably out in nature.

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

Sephiroth does not cry much as an adult. Only when he is well and truly broken or during extreme situations. Like, say, something bad happening to one of his dearest friends or the surrogate father figure he only got to know for a short period in his life....

24. Most annoying habit

Does NOT take care of himself. At all. Does not practice self-care beyond maintaining his physical appearance. Forgets to feed himself or sleep or do anything substantially healthy during an emotional rut. And then he implodes afterwards.

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

I think he likes really smooth alcoholic drinks. Rum, maybe. Red wine. Cognac. That sorta stuff.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Lost in the Ocean by Glass Animals for AGS feels

Ashes and Blood by Woodkid for Zack vs. Seph confrontation feels

Hollow by Cloudeater for Post-Nibelheim Seph

The Weight of Us by Sanders Bohlke for Miniroth during Rhadore

I am a Poor Wayfaring Stranger from 1917 soundtrack for Miniroth at war

(let me know if any of these speak to you hehehe)

3. Obscure headcanon

Sephiroth is completely stone-faced when someone tries to joke around with him but the SECOND Zack pulls out his jokebook for five year olds, it is IMPOSSIBLE for Sephiroth to keep a straight face

[prismaticpichu]

Okokokok so

Sephiroth passes out from dehydration in the manor and not knowing what else to do, knowing just how bad it could be to be caught like this by civilians or what would happen if this info got back to Hojo, Cloud and Zack sneak Seph's unconscious ass to Cloud's house and put him in Cloud’s childhood bed.

Seph wakes up to Claudia making him breakfast, and in general being a good mother figure. And I dunno Zack and Cloud burned the library totally by accident and found a Vampire neither of which are their fault they swear.

Now THAT’s a happy ending! <3 Score one for our bodily necessities!!!

“C’mon, Spiky! Put your back into it!”

A giant mass of silver and black is dragged rag-doll-style along the basement floor, two considerably smaller individuals hauling one boneless arm apiece.

“He’s. HEAVY.”

~~~

Sephiroth, well… he’s quite the confused cockatoo when he wakes up. Why on Gaia is he in a bed half his size? Why on Gaia are there approximately eight posters of him on the wall? Why on Gaia does his back feel like a lawnmower ran over it?

Where is he? What is this? What is HAPPENING—

“Whoah, whoah! Calm down, buddy!” Zack grips his forearm upon seeing Sephiroth begin to huff and puff like a bull, guiding him back down onto the pillow. “You’re safe!”

There isn’t much room to protest when his head is absolutely throbbing; Sephiroth slumps back into the bed, groaning, one eye still creaked open as he scans the room around him with dangerous scrutiny. He’s also coughing like a poor rundown car.

“0h, here!” Zack hands his friend a juice box from the nightstand. “You gotta replenish!”

There’s a western riff in the background as Sephiroth stares down the juice box—a bright green abomination with a hippo-shaped apple drawn on the side. Are you kidding him? No. NO. He is a full-grown man with dignity, and standards, and—

Fortunately, Zack shoves the straw in his mouth anyway.

“Okay, okay.” Zack takes a step back from the bedside, still reading the utter, blistering confusion on Sephiroth’s visage as he sips away. “I’m gonna take things nice and slow, pal. I’ll explain everything.”

Sephiroth narrows his eyes in warning—his signature You better or the guillotine will be having your head death glare. He swallows another round of Juciy Juice.

Zack swallows himself. There’s a lot he could say right now. A whole goddamn book. Everything since the Reactor has just been so… wrong; Seph had planted so many ideas in his head, got so snarled up in things that were just too much for him to bear. He just needs to untie him, thread by thread. Nice and gentle. Nice and slow.

“Well, y’see, me and Spiky were getting real worried about you. So—“

“Jenova is not your mother.”

Oh c’mon.

Both eyes snap towards the voice—the low, sunken timbre that had revealed itself from the unlit corner of the room.

Sephiroth doesn’t even process the fact that some Comic-Con devotee with a claw for a hand begins peeling himself out from the shadows; he barely processes Zack’s frustrated yelping at said devotee. All he can hear is Her. Her. The library. The books. The Cetra. The Truth. Memory consumes him in a single, famished clasp, like a sudden strike of lightning, like a sudden belch of flames, and all of a sudden his eyes are needle-thin and he begins snarling your typical oh here we go again Sephiroth snarls.

He squeezes the juice box so hard that it explodes.

“Mother! Mother! MOTHER!”

“Ahhhhhhhhhh, no! No no no no!” Zack wraps his arms around the other’s neck like a lasso, pleading and hushing and grappling, mustering all his desperate strength to keep Sephiroth lying in bed and not gouging eyes out. “It’s okay! It’s okay! It’s me! Shhhh… take me home… country road…!”

Eventually, with some guided, deep-breathing exercises, Sephiroth does calm down, letting his eyes return to normal and slumping back into the mattress. Zack turns over his shoulder with a silent “Really?!”, while Sephiroth collects himself, coming back to the present… but the memories still remain clear. Crystal clear. Except now, instead of a torrent of poison and overwhelming rage, the memory gouges him out. Leaving him hollow. Sad.

And, wait a minute… why is there a comic-con devotee here?

“Who… are you…” Sephiroth pants, the suspicion creeping back into his voice.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. This is Vincent.” Zack gestures towards the cloaked man. “Me and Spiky found him sleeping in some coffin. He’s been sleeping there for years—had to get him out before we burned that stupid manor down. Hope it’s okay that we borrowed your materia!”

Sephiroth is silent.

“Oh, and… he mayyyyyy know one or two things about J—that creature.”

Sephiroth is still silent.

Vincent goes on to take the reins and explain everything: the experiments, the pain, the Hojo, the regret… The Lucrecia.

“…Lucrecia?” Sephiroth repeats, ghostly, a numb mist having enveloped him entirely. It… it didn’t make any sense. Jenova—he clenches his teeth—he… he spawned from her. She was his…

His…

“Your mother,” Vincent elaborates. “Lucrecia was your mother. And she loved you. She never wanted things to…” He turns away, the bloody tint in his eyes seeming to clot. “Your mother was human, Sephiroth. She made mistakes. So did I.”

Sephiroth’s gaze floats to his hands, words disobedient, his organs and blood and bones sitting in an empty husk. Zack cuffs his hand around his upper arm, squeezing gently, squeezing a whole poem of silent messages.

“So… I really don’t have a mother,” Sephiroth mumbles then. “She’s gone.”

“Who wants pancakes?!”

The bedroom door opens with an enthusiast swing, and in comes Claudia, and in comes the delectable waft of fresh golden pancakes, Cloud at her heels as she carries the plate over to the bedside.

“Here you are, General. Cloud told me that you had gotten sick in the manor; good to see you awake! How is the bed by the way? It has been quite some time since my Stormcloud slept in it.” She turns around, suddenly facing a wide-eyed Vincent Valentine. “Oh, I do not believe we met before. I’m Claudia. Pleasure to meet you.”

“You brought the guy back here?!” Cloud scorn-hushes to Zack. “I thought he was going to stay outside!”

“I needed him to help clear things up with Seph!”

Meanwhile, Sephiroth is sitting in bed, blinking, a platter of flapjacks on his lap and a nice little syrup saucer glistening beside them. Claudia dusts her hands off, smile still twinkling.

“Well, I’ll leave you men be for a little. Please call if you need anything.” Before she left, however, she makes her way back to the bedside, back to the stuporous Sephiroth, and tucks the blanket further up his shoulders.

“I don’t want you to be cold, dear. You are already so unwell.”

And then she leaves for real.

“Aww…” Zack mock-moans once he hears her footsteps patter down the stairs. “She’s better at taking care of you than me!”

“Yeah…” Cloud rubs his neck. “She does that.”

Sephiroth… can’t disagree. He glances again at the fresh breakfast balanced in his lap—breakfast made just for him, because he was unwell, because someone took that information and turned into a remedy. The emerald eyes are rippling, thoughtful and confused and detached yet somehow strung back to his body all again. Tighter than ever before.

“Sephiroth.”

Sephiroth lifts his gaze, meeting Vincent, who bestows to him a slow, meaningful nod. “I believe that is what a mother is.”

~~~

And the four proceed to have a pancake party!!! <33 Whoooooooooh! Sharing is caring!! (Well, three-quarters of the pie anyway. Vincent is just too stubborn.)

“C’mon, Vince!” Zack holds up his fork, the cluster of fluffy magic absolutely waterlogged in syrup. “Try some! It really heals your inner demons!”

[rottenpumpkin13]

omg, a fellow chadley truther (definition: someone who believes chadley was AT THE VERY LEAST modeled on child sephiroth)! if pre-nibelheim sephiroth met chadley, what would their relationship be like? would seph immediately assume that big brother role or would it take time?

Sephiroth + Chadley

YES Chadley is best boy! Also, here's the long-winded answer you didn't ask for but I'm giving you anyway because I have a lot of feelings.

Imagine this: The bastard who had you as a lab rat throughout your childhood continues to hold power over you both as your biological father and the scientist the company who owns employs you entrusts your personal care to.

Now you see him create a sentient cyborg and model it after your childhood self, then reduce it to a personal assistant. It's a loyal puppet created to serve the afformentioned slimy bastard. It doesn't have the free will you had that allowed you to leave.

You assume the poor kid probably doesn't even know he's a puppet. Except he does. Here's what Chadley told Cloud during that one scene in the remake verbatim:

"Now that my research is at long last complete...I believe that it's time I told you the truth about myself. I'm...not human. I'm a cyborg created to serve as Hojo's assistant."

"I was given knowledge and power beyond that of a human...But I was robbed of free will, bound to obey the whims of my master. But when we met, Cloud, I sensed something within you—something I knew would allow me to break free of my chains."

"By identifying and studying a subject with infinite potential such as yourself...I could adhere to the directives imposed upon me...all the while pursuing my plans for independence in secret. Your combat data provided me with the vital information that I required to enhance my basic functionality..."

"This is the result. Through my research and with your assistance, I have freed myself from Hojo's bondage."

So if we fully believe what Chadley is saying is true (meaning, he's not just a mouthpiece for Hojo, a theory I could make a whole separate post about...) then this is great! He's freed himself all on his own!

But if we bring Sephiroth into the picture, seeing Hojo create Chadley, a clearly sentient cyborg, to then reduce him to a personal assistant/ loyal puppet would absolutely sicken Sephiroth. There's no doubt about it. He'd be absolutely devastated.

He'd ultimately be seeing a sort of repeat of his own childhood, but this time it's with a being that's been created to obey Hojo. Not taught through brute force, not because that's all he's ever known, because it's a cyborg!

Which is honestly so slimy! You lost your son through him not wanting anything to do with you and refusing to adhere to your ideals (And because Sephiroth "died" in canon), so your grandiose solution to this is to create a cryborg version of him???? Except this time you guarantee that he's literally a puppet??? There aren't enough swear words nor insults that would satisfy my need to curse this bastard out.

(Sorry for the rambling) Now to answer your question:

In my headcanons (meaning the way I write Sephiroth), sane!Sephiroth would've saved Chadley long before the kid caught wind of what Hojo did to him. Wether that's by breaking into the labs and grabbing Chadley himself (Genesis, Angeal and Zack would assist in operation grand theft Chadley), or by slowly building a relationship with him I'm not sure.

Sephiroth didn't grow up with a family of his own, so I believe he wouldn't immediately consider Chadley his brother. But I do think Sephiroth would see Chadley as an equal, just as he sees Genesis and Angeal, and furthermore of the same kin.

The exact how is something I'd love to explore either in my pre-existing fics or through a separate medium. But ultimately Sephiroth and Chadley would bond.

Their relationship would be sweet. I think Sephiroth would greatly benefit from having Chadley as a younger brother figure pre-Nibelheim. He'd have family. Who knows? That might even be the aid to Sephiroth's wounds regarding his parentage.

Also I hc Chadley as being a rebellious little nerd with a zest for independence, so that would fit right into my hcs for Sephiroth! I imagine Sephiroth teaching Chadley how to fight, and them talking about astronomy and other science-y stuff together :) It's cute.

This is of course before Zack and Genesis get wind of "Sephiroth Jr." and vow to corrupt him :)

And that's how Director Lazard demands to know "WHY IS THERE A TINY CYBORG SKATEBOARDING WITH FAIR AROUND THE SOLDIER FLOOR?? GENESIS! ARE THOSE FIREWORKS!!??? DON'T TEACH THE CHILD HOW TO—PUT THE CAMERA AWAY, SEPHIROTH!"

[withgreatpowercomesmyfuckingdick]

finally read chapter 20 i fucking LOVE you. all the of the angst is fine cause kenny is safe (for now anyway) and zack and cloud are together again and we’re one step closer to the firsts getting their ANSWERS and acheron is fucking DEAD AND DESTROYED and i’m loving sephiroths ‘you can’t hurt anyone’ work around good on the poor experiments this was all in all great amazing chapter probably my favourite one yet actually. cant wait for more definitely not angsty cloud and seph body sharing. woo!

HI LOVE YOU TOO LOL i needed acheron dead for my own health actually. couldn’t let him live. Then it was like how can Chaos!Seph be a murderer without lifting a finger and there we go my little bitch boy managed it. Thanks for sending me a little something lovely, trust me, I can’t wait for the totally not angsty cloud and seph body sharing either 🖤🖤🖤

[dollwrites]

*rambles in final fantasy* Omg I fear I will faint the day you write Sephiroth (I assume will be Post Crisis Core however. Nobody likes my poor sane!Seph R.I.P)... not like, I mean main, mad!Seph is hotter than, like *goodbye ovaries* I know, but as a dare I always try on people, like, people think is ooc but it is not...

Anyway, sign me in for You + final fantasy 7 stuff, Im drooling at the thought of any of the boyas

OOOH A FF FAN OKAY HI BABY !!

I will be honest the reason I haven’t yet is because I’m still learning about the lore :3 I’m extremely late to the party and even though I’ve thought sephiroth was a hot tamale for years, I’m JUST NOW starting to watch cutscenes and learn lore 😭 I unfortunately cannot even begin to play the games bc I have no time as it is, so cutscenes and wiki pages are my best friends

Also within my exploration I’ve realized I like genesisA LOT !!!

AND I REALLY WANNA WRITE A THREESOME / TAG TEAM WITH HIM AND SEPHIROTH GUEHEHEHEHR

Also that fire twink Reno

But I’ve also been told that I should also write for cloud and I probably will bc he’s cute and zack BUT YOU KNOW WHO ELSE INTERESTS ME I have 0 information on him but that Vincent dude

I SAW A TIKTOK OF HIS ENGLISH VA GROWLING AND NOW I WANT HIM BAD

The ones I really really really wanna write for is seph and genesis though 🤭 bc they’re my two faves!! Crisis Core is the one where they fight, no? The one with Zack I think…

[steelycunt]

19!!!!! PLEASE

HELLO BAB!! OF COURSE!! ANYTHING FOR YOU!!

The very first time and they’re seventeen in his fourth childhood bedroom—duck-egg wallpaper, ratty sheets, Harry Nilsson record turned down to a faint murmur and all but forgotten. There are the scratches he made in the doorframe, there’s the bed with the peeling paintwork, there’s the hands of the most beautiful boy he’s ever seen, twisting into his t-shirt: “can I...take this off?”

A floorboard creaking. “My dad’s downstairs,” Remus says, which isn’t an answer at all. He lays a hesitant touch of his palm to Sirius’ hip, the sharp poke of bone and a glimpse of bare skin above the waistband of his briefs.

He wants to say, we’ve never asked that question before. He wants to say, I’m not sure why you would want to do a thing like that. Sirius’ knuckles digging in to the soft stretch of his stomach, just barely. Remus imagines them leaving indentations there, as though his flesh is clay.

“But your door’s locked, no? Is he likely to knock?” Sirius looks down at him; fine dark hair falling against Remus’ skin, making him shiver. He has kissed him and kissed him again and now his mouth is all damp and red and ruined. Old-fashioned floral curtains. Nilsson’s cover of She’s Leaving Home drifting in, stepping outside, she is free.

“Or, I mean—” Sirius falters, “sorry, we don’t have to. Obviously. I thought—thought I’d ask, I know we haven’t done anything like that—”

“It’s alright.” Which it should be, really—it’s nothing Sirius hasn’t seen before. Remus and his body like a hit-and-run crime scene, his body that betrays him and complains about him and never seems to patch itself together quite right, his body that can’t be bothered with itself. It’s only ever been something to be dealt with, pacified, winced at, that scar won’t heal if you keep picking at it, those bandages ought to be changed.

A stack of books on the floor by his bed—Shelley, Burroughs. A hairline crack in the plaster of his ceiling. Remus has never thought of his body as something to be loved, to be wanted, and yet here’s Sirius, off-his-fucking-trolley Sirius, asking to make an altar of it anyway.

“You can take it off,” he tells him. “Go for it.”

“Yeah?” Sirius rakes his hair back, grins, split-skin and a small chip in one of his front teeth from playfighting with James when they were twelve: Remus adores it. “Alright, then. I love you. You know I love you?”

“Yeah.” And he does know it; knows it as Sirius’ lips are on his, and as he sits up against the headboard to let him tug his shirt up past his head. They’re laughing into each other’s mouths when his arms get stuck, noses smashing into each other. And all of it really just means I love you, over and over again.

Sirius tosses their shirts down somewhere. He turns back, and Remus’ breath rattles about in his throat like a blue-bottle for a moment—he watches for something, some twitch or twist of Sirius’ face that says disgust, that says horror. Thinks of all the white scar tissue scraped across his chest, or the awkward jut of his elbows, his ribs. Teeth marks torn into his side.

“You’re so lovely,” says Sirius, anyway. “Is this still okay? Can I touch you?”

(And, after this: Sirius will kiss bruise after gnawing bruise into Remus’ neck and down, down past his collarbones. Once it’s over, they’ll get dressed again, and Remus will stand in front of the bathroom mirror and try to hide every last one with a glamour, because his dad is downstairs. He’ll ask Sirius, did I miss any, are they all gone, you definitely can’t see them?

Sirius, sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wearing that daft, lazy little smile that makes Remus’ lungs roll around inside him like marbles. You missed the one beneath your ear, Moony, just there.)

Remus nods, draws his arms over Sirius’ bare shoulders. “Yeah,” he says. “Anywhere you like.”

[moonlightdancer26]

Guess who’s in a fight with a Wanda stan on Tiktok 😍

Guess who’s winning 😏😌

They really have NERVE! They were attacking this poor girl for editing a comic accurate Wanda

“Lizzie >>> this thing”

THING!?

And this one person in particular sounded real uneducated about Wandas history so I decided to fuck with them and they have nothing correct to say 💀🤌🏽

I pulled out receipts on her ass and I haven’t gotten a response back

Seph winning in an argument against some idiot stan? Totally not a common occurrence 😌

also WTF?? A Wanda stan is attacking someone for fancasting a Romani woman for a canonically Romani character instead of a racist white actress? 🤨 and referring to her as a THING? these ppl really gotta get their shit together-

I remember there was a Wendy stan on TikTok who, I kid you not, called Kamala Khan, who is Muslim, a terrorist. and they legitimately said something along the lines of “HAHAHA WANDA CLAPS THAT TERRORIST.” And some stans also referred to T’Challa and Sam as “monkeys” and called Jane a “cancer flop.” 😦 I’m not kidding when I say some Wanda stans are actually insane. (and people have the nerve to ask why I avoid them at all costs)

Anyway, I’m not surprised that knobhead you’re dealing with hasn’t responded yet. This shit is so typical of Wanda stans, honestly.

[persephoneacts]

Persephone snorted at Bradley’s quip, beaming from the safety of her hiding spot as she thought of Ripley. Platonic as the two of them were – Sephy’s heterosexuality a woeful reality that plagued both her and Maggie on a bad day – she'd give up just about anything for the chance to spend the last of her days with Ripley at her side, the two of grey and wrinkled in matching rocking chairs. She wasn’t sure she’d ever done anything to be worth the other girl’s overwhelming love and support, and yet she had it anyway. 

“So what if I do?” Persephone laughed, hardly daring to move an inch. She couldn’t chance a sneaky glance around the corner for fear that she’d land herself in his direct line of sight. Nope, she wasn’t giving up that easy. “Don’t go getting all jealous, Bradders!” 

Her words were only ever in jest, despite what Maia or Micah might think. She’d listened to the people closest to Bradley taunt and tease the pair of them, convinced he was a total softy for Sephy and Sephy alone. She heavily doubted there was any truth to their playful banter, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have fun with it. Besides, she had fun teasing and flirting with Bradley, against her better judgement. He was cute and funny, totally hopeless, and he made her laugh like nobody else. 

Her stomach ached with laughter, the visual of him doused in whipped cream burned into her retinas. She could still picture his sulky little face, obscured as it was by sticky, white residue. She felt fairly secure in her hiding spot, especially as she heard that glimmer of doubt in his tone, the tremor as he loudly declared he wasn’t afraid of Kit. Sephy called bullshit, but she’d give him a minute or two to clean his face up before diving back into battle. 

Her own confidence seemed to rival his, however, the two of them working their way through ill-placed bluffs as Bradley steadily dropped a layer of flower over her head. Sephy shrieked with surprise, bouncing to her feet and spinning on the spot to face him, her hand’s shooting out to grip the edge of the counter-top as she fought to keep herself steady. The kitchen was an absolute dump, and she knew Kit would blow a casket if she saw it, but Seph would worry about the clean-up later. This was war. 

The laughter that bubbled from Bradley was infectious, the smug look on his face setting her off into her own fresh set of giggles as she watched him tear away across the room, hardly watching where he was doing. Almost as though in slow motion, Seph watched as his feet gave out beneath him, converse squelching on the cake batter below as his legs flailed cartoonishly in the air, his arms a perfect windmill as he covered himself in even more gunk. 

“Oh my God,” Sephy choked out, one hand reaching for her stomach as she doubled over with laughter. 

Her clothes were ruined, her hair was matted and sticky, and the kitchen currently looked like a diabetic war vet’s worst nightmare, yet Sephy found herself convulsed with laughter as she looked across at her friend. She hadn’t laughed like this in years – maybe even ever. Tears of laughter rolled down her cheeks as she edged towards Bradley, feet threatening to betray her as though she were on Willy Wonka’s version of a slip-n-slide. As she finally rounded on her idiot friend, the sole of her shoe caught on an especially thick dollop of cream and sent her gliding across the floor and straight into Bradley. 

Despite her slight frame and Bradley’s alarming height, the combination of the sticky floor and the weight of her impact sent the two crashing to the floor, Persephone’s hand grasping at his shoulder for purchase as she landed against his chest with a thump. Her whole body seemed to ache as their legs tangled together, yet laughter continued to peel from her lips as she buried her face in his neck in a poor attempt at regaining her composure. 

“Kit’s gonna kill us,” she snorted, finally lifting her gaze to Bradley’s face. With no way of checking her reflection, she could only assume she wore the look of a naughty school child waiting to be scolded. “You look like you taste delicious, though.” 

“Heyyy, language!” Bradley scolded the blonde, his tone full of mock-offense. “You kiss Ripley with that mouth?”

The more adept question would be to ask if she kissed her hot, rugged Formula 1 boyfriend with said mouth, but right now Bradley was intent on ignoring the fact that Sephy even had a hot, rugged Formula 1 boyfriend to begin with. Not for any particular reason. He just kind of hated jocks, so it was easier for him to refer to the other great love of Persephone Blake’s life.

He watched with keen eyes as Sephy moved, the two of them circling each other in the kitchen like they were about to engage in a good, old-fashioned Western shootout. He’d never been much of a Western guy himself, but he had seen Back to the Future 3 quite a few times and thought that perhaps that had given him all the gunslinging expertise that he needed. Still as Sephy grabbed her weapon of choice - a can of whipped cream that Bradley knew would be an absolute bitch to wash out of his hair once she assaulted him with it, he blindly reached out for a defense weapon of his own.

His hand wrapped around the first thing he could reach, drawing it into his grip. Looking down, he wrinkled his nose when he realised he’d picked up a whisk. Nothing that could remotely cause any sort of damage in a food fight, not unless he wanted to beat some eggs before tossing them Sephy’s way. Still, it was a cinematic moment, what with Sephy’s Charlie’s Angels stance - and wasn’t that the kind of moment that would have sent teenage Bradley into an absolute tizzy - so he supposed he’d have to make do with it.

With the only ace he had up his sleeve, Bradley twirled the whisk in his hand like it was a lightsaber, executing a perfect Obi-Ani spin like he’d been doing it for years.

(He very much had been doing it for years. Ever since he found that one tutorial on Youtube and smashed up half his mom’s plant pots in the backyard trying to perfect the trick.)

Bringing the whisk to a halt by his side, his eyes widened at Sephy’s comment and he only had time to squeeze his eyes shut and scrunch up his nose before he was covered head to toe in cream.

“Sephy, for fuck sake, this shit is sticky,” he whined, trying his best to wipe it off and only succeeding in smearing it everywhere that she hadn’t managed to reach yet.

Then, Sephy ducked down behind the counter like the kids from Jurassic Park. Maggie would have no reservations about referring to him as a raptor but in this instance, it would maybe work in his favour. He stalked forward as lightly as possible, the rubber soles of his Converse quiet on the linoleum.

“I’m not scared of Kit,” he declared with the confidence of a man who would promptly eat his words the moment Kit caught sight of what they’d done to her kitchen. But she wasn’t here right now, and there was a bowl of flour sitting on the counter that looked all too tempting.

Quickly, Bradley grabbed it, upturning the contents over where Sephy was hiding, turning the area around them into a veritable winter wonderland.

“Who’s looking pale now?” he crooned, gleefully skipping backwards only to slip on some of the cream from earlier. He slid on the spot, arms windmilling at his side before he grabbed onto one of the shelves for purchase, resulting in a whole tub of frosting to come tipping down, splattering over his clothes.

“Shit…”

[prismaticpichu]

Hi! How are you? Also, umm, can you make Zack Seph, like Zack does vlogging with his friend Seph, like add Funny, angst, happy ending, Protective Zack, please? I'm sorry if I bothered you. 🥺❤️♥️✨

Heya!!! I’m doing great, my friendo!! Hope all is well with you!! 💕

Ooooh vlogging???? Absolutely!!!

(BIG jumbo shoutout to @rottenpumpkin13’s series of SOLDIER vlogging shenanigans for inspiration!!!! Those things are frigging hilarious <333)

~

Nibelheim Fix-It: Vlogging Edition!

[the camera flashes on to reveal two Mako-blue eyes gazing steadily into the lenses, their electric glow all the more accentuated by the dismal blackness of his backdrop, his footage jostling up and down slightly as the spiky teen makes his way through the corridor in which he is recording.]

“Heyyyyyy, world and all who inhabit it! Zack Fair here, and I’m coming to you RIGHT from the basement of some screwed up manor in Nibelheim!”

[the young First glances around a bit, ensuring that he’s still going the right way.]

“It’s very very very VERY, dark, as you can see… Just trying to make sure I don’t bump into anything here. Already bumped into three rats, eight cobwebs, a whole buncha coffins. Spooky stuff. But don’t worry!! This isn’t your boy’s first trip down here…”

[there’s another quick turn over his shoulder, this time spotting a very vague rod of light floating in the distance, some nebulously victorious sound escaping his lips as he eagerly starts toward it.]

“This is actually my second time down here. First time I was kinda totally kicked out. Not at all rudely though! Guy just needed some space… I think. He’s been getting that for like four days now, anyhow. ‘Bout time he took a break.”

[as the glowing belt approaches, Zack mindlessly pads around for a bit, pawing and groping through the thick basement gloom.]

“C’mon, where’s the knob….”

[the faint sound of palm meeting metal is heard echoing through the dark.]

“Ah, sweet. Okay okay okay… So you folks are probably wondering right now who I’m even talking about. Well, lemme tell ya. Ever hear the name ‘Sephiroth’ before? You know, quicksilver hair and bare chest and pupils that go all upppppp like that? Yeah, well! He’s in there. In a library right here, devouring books like free samples at a superstore. And he’s been there for days. Been in there ever since—“

[he pauses for a beat, cutting himself off, a look of confliction cracking the teen’s cheerful masquerade]

“Well, uh… for Purposes, I don’t think I’m going to say what happened when we went to investigate the reactor. Doesn’t really matter, anyways. It’s more about how it affected my poor bud—uh, Sephiroth! Shoot he’s gonna kill me for using that silly nickname on this. Anyyyywaayy! I’m here to get him some fresh air, tell him what he needs to know and, most importantly, get it all recorded so he’ll never forget it again.”

[the camera hobbles as Zack presses his ear to the door, listening intently.]

“Alright… he’s definitely in there. Can hear his boots walkin’ around. Okay. Okay, you got this, Zack… Alright! I’m going in. On three, two, one…”

[and the door to the library is pushed open, his camera’s eye capturing the shift in backdrop as Zack makes his way across the threshold, the young SOLDIER traveling down what looks to be some narrow corridor that abruptly pools into an eerie candlelit opening.]

“Ooh. There he is.”

[the camera blearily pans around to capture a slender silver shape with a book in his hands, leather coat dancing with faint orange hues from the casting candlelight, silver hair appearing almost copper under the ghostly illumination as he paces back and forth across the floor without so much as a flinch.]

“Gaia… does he not even know I’m here? Okay, okay! Let’s do this, guys. Let’s get this man outta here.”

[there’s a deep, centering inhale from behind the camera.]

“Hey! Sephiroth! Seppphiroth! Sepppphiiroth! Put down the book.”

[a heavy silence dogs as Sephiroth continues to pace the floor in silence.]

“Shit…”

[the camera pans back to Zack.]

“Okay, so… He seems really out of it. Really engrossed in that book there. We gotta get through that noggin of his.”

[the camera pans back to the catatonic SOLDIER.]

"Sephiroth! Hey! Sephiroth! Sepppppphiroth!! I'm talking to you, man. HelloooooOOO?? Holy Ifrit... HEY! SEÑOR SEPHIROTH! STOP READING FOR A SEC, would'ja???"

[there's another bout of silence.]

"Dear Gaia... What’s going on with you?? Why aren't you responding? Sephiroth! Sepppphirottth.”

[following yet another wordless stretch, Zack swings the camera back around, rubbing his neck with an expression of both frustration and hurt.]

“Alright… guess he left me with no choice. Time for extreme measures.”

[the camera hobbles a little as Zack approaches the soulless SOLDIER.]

“Ah, screw it. Who cares if I don’t stick to the formalities…”

[an inky splotch of black momentarily covers the lenses, not wanting to capture the horrid images and texts that had seemingly possessed his friend, leaving only the teen’s gentle voice to provide any content.]

“…Hey. Bud. It’s me. Hey—yeah, I’m gonna put my arm here if you don’t put that thing down. I miss you… alright? You have any idea how long you’ve been down here? Gaia, pal… those bags… Look… you need some rest. Okay? We can talk alllllll this out in the morning. Let’s just go, okay? You’ll feel better after a good snooze…—“

“—I… c-ant…”

“You can, pal. These books aren’t going nowhere. I’m not going nowhere. Not without you.”

[another swath of silence stretches over the two SOLDIERs, the blackened smudge shifting slightly against the lenses.]

“Look, bud. Look. I know what he said is screwed up. I know what you saw is screwed up. But it doesn’t change anything… okay? You’re still my friend… you’re still Sephiroth. You’re still my old pal. You’re still…”

[even through the inky smudge, shards of blue are seen dancing across the camera, a cursory glance being cast toward the lenses in consideration.]

“…Y’know what. Fuck whatever they hear. You’re human, Seph… Not some alien. Not a monster. Not anything but the kind and lovable person that you are. And… and I’ma jerk for not telling you that sooner. I shoulda told you that the moment Genesis said those horrible things in the reactor. I shoulda told you that day of being here… okay? And I never ever ever ever want you to forg…—“

[suddenly, smears of black and silver flash across the camera as it plummets to the ground, cutting out instantly upon impact.]

.

.

.

.

[and it cuts back in a nebulous amount of time later, titled sideways, unknowingly capturing the sight of General Sephiroth slumped in the sheltering arms of his best friend.]

“Shh… it’s okay, pal. It’s okay… let it out. Let it out. I’m not going anywhere…”

—————————————

[the camera flashes on to reveal a smiling Zack leaning against his headboard at the Nibelheim Inn, happily accompanied by a freshly-showered Sephiroth, tresses of golden sunlight streaking in through the open window beside them.]

“Heyyyyyy, world and all who inhabit it! Zack Fair here, and I’m coming to you RIGHT from the Nibelheim Inn! Today I got my best friend and ex-commander here, Mr Señor Sephiroth!”

[Zack slings an arm around his buddy’s shoulders, earning himself an amused grunt from the mercury-haired man.]

“Yes. Hello, inhabitants of the world.”

“You wanna add a littttleeee bit more cheer—?”

“No.”

“Okie doke. You wanna at least tell ‘em the news?”

[the camera pans so that it is completely facing Sephiroth, green eyes well-rested and gleaming under morning’s warm embrace.]

“Hnph. Fine. As of this moment—“

“Say ‘breaking news!’”

“I will eat you whole.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just say it!”

[silver bangs sway against the lenses as Sephiroth shakes his head.]

“…Fine. Breaking new: as of this moment forward, both I General Sephiroth and First Class Zack Fair officially resign from SOLDIER. Cadet Cloud Strife will also be discontinuing his duties and is currently staying with a beloved family member.”

[Zack’s euphoric cheer is heard behind the camera.]

“Heck yeah!! Oh, and! For the record: all future episodes of ‘Zack Tracks’ will be recorded with my new partner here! Woooo!”

“I didn’t agree to this.”

“Bummer, ‘cause you’re doing it.”

[before an utterance of protest can be made, Zack takes the camera back from his pal.]

“Anywhoooo! Anything you wanna say to the people before we sign off, pal?”

[the camera lingers on Sephiroth’s face for several beats following the question, capturing the traces of wistfulness that flicker through his emerald eyes, the almost pensive pulse that ripples through those celestially human pupils as he contemplates an appropriate closure for Everything.]

“…Yes. I do.”

[and the camera zooms in, focusing on his sincere expression, aged and weathered from all the ravaging storms that have opened up to what he calls his life.]

“Hojo, you can disrespectfully burn in the deepest and most incandescent stoves in Hell.”

[a simple click, and the footage goes black.]

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 26}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Nesta awoke with a pounding headache and the need to vomit, even though she was fully aware her stomach was completely emptied out. She began to shift on the mattress, but froze when she realized that a heavy arm was draped across her waist.

Behind her, Cassian was sleeping soundly, spooned up against her.

Stay.

She remembered asking that of him the night before, remembered everything from the night before.

She had been drunk, horribly drunk.

They had fought.

She had tried to sleep with him.

She had vomited all over the kitchen.

He had cleaned it up.

He had cleaned her up.

He had carried her to bed.

He had stayed.

She hadn’t deserved for him to stay.

Carefully and slowly, Nesta took Cassian’s hand and removed it from her body before dragging herself quietly out of the bed and sneaking out of the room.

She had been so fucking irresponsible the night before, shouldn’t have ever tried to drive here, yet here she was. No wonder Cassian had been so pissed.

She planned on getting a quick cup of coffee to settle her stomach and sneaking out, but as she found Elain in the kitchen, she knew that was no longer possible.

Her sister, never one for anger, raised an eyebrow. “You owe me for my landscaping.”

Nesta cringed and dropped into a seat at the end of the table. Her head fell into her hands with a smack. “I know, I’m sorry.”

A cup of coffee appeared in front of her and Nesta did nothing but breathe in the life-changing scent for a minute, her forehead still pressed into her hand.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Elain said, leaning against the counter. “I love having you here. But as far as I knew, Cassian was staying here because you were at the house. Imagine my surprise when I find both of your vehicles in my driveway this morning.”

Nesta cringed, yet again.

“And the bush by my mailbox flattened,” Elain added, sipping from her steaming mug.

Nesta groaned, her head falling against the tabletop. “I fucked up, I get it.” There was no malice in her voice, only exhaustion.

The chair across from her was pulled out and Elain sat down with a sigh. “You know I’m not letting you leave until we talk about this, right?”

Nesta huffed. “Talk about what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Elain sighed. “The fact that you showed up at my house at midnight, drunker than you’ve been since college, to fight with Cassian?”

Nesta looked up at her.

“At least, that’s my husband’s version,” Elain said, watching her sister. “Correct me if I’m wrong.”

Nesta leaned back in her chair and shook her head, slowly. She fiddled with the fabric around her thighs, only now realizing that she was in Cassian’s shirt.

He had taken her dirty dress off and replaced it with something clean, something of his.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” Nesta said, simply.

“How about promising me you’ll never be stupid enough to get behind the wheel while drunk again?” Elain asked, a slight edge to her voice. “The last thing I need is you getting in an-.”

Her words dropped off and she shook her head, sipping from her mug to avoid the word that Nesta knew was meant to come next.

Accident.

A newfound guilt flooded Nesta’s stomach. She felt like she was going to puke all over again. How could she do that, after all that had happened? After what had happened to Feyre and Rhysand?

“I fucked up,” she said, again, and leaned across the table to take Elain’s hand. “I was drunk, I made a poor decision in the heat of the moment because I was pissed, and I was irresponsible. I know that, and trust me, I am full of regret and feel like a fucking idiot this morning. I promise, Lainy, that I’ll never make that mistake again.”

Elain looked at her for a moment before her eyes softened and she nodded. “Good. I believe you. Now, care to tell me why you made such a dumbass decision to begin with?”

Dumbass. Elain rarely swore.

“Cassian and I had sex in the store room last night,” she sighed, not looking at Elain.

“You what?” Her voice raised an octave.

“Shh,” she said, glancing around her to the living room beyond. “I don’t know how exactly it happened, but it did. I went in there for some air, he followed me, and we got into it. Next thing I know, my back is against the far wall, he’s buried inside of me, and I’m halfway to an earth shattering orgasm.”

Elain had stilled, her mug midway to her lips as she stared at her sister. She repeated, “You what?”

“I don’t need a lecture if that’s what you’re building up to,” Nesta snapped.

Elain sighed, setting her mug down on the table. “It’s either a lecture or silence.”

Nesta just shook her head.

“Nesta, that man is madly in love with you,” Elain said, lecturing, anyway. Nesta stared at the table. “And you love him, too. This…unhealthy need to push everything and everyone away that makes you happy is going to make you nothing but miserable in the end and, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let you be miserable.”

Nesta shook her head. “Feyre wouldn’t want—.”

“No,” Elain interrupted, her voice going harder than Nesta typically heard it. “Feyre would want you to be happy. She’s gone, Nesta.” Her eyes lined with tears as she reached across the table and took Nesta’s hands. “She’s gone, and yes, maybe that’s the only reason that you and Cassian ended up together, but you know what? Maybe it’s not. Maybe you and Cass would’ve ended up together at another time, another place, but you didn’t. This is how it happened. And Feyre, wherever she is, is so damn happy that you two are happy. She wanted you two to be together five years ago, and she wants you to be together now, if he’s who makes you happy. You can’t feel guilty, Nesta. Your happiness does not deserve guilt.”

Nesta said nothing, didn’t bother wiping the tear that fell down her cheek.

“You love him,” Elain said, and it wasn’t a question.

Which meant that Nesta didn’t answer.

“He cleaned up your puke and carried you to bed after you treated him like garbage,” Elain said, her voice lightening. “Men like that don’t just come around, Nes.”

A door opened and closed from the back of the house and Elain picked up her coffee, standing.

“Where are you going?” Nesta whispered, her eyes going wide.

“You need to talk to him,” Elain said, heading for the living room. She didn’t say another word to her sister, but she heard her start up the stairs. “Good morning, Cass. And good morning to you, sweet boy.”

She didn’t hear a response from either of them, so she assumed Nyx was still dozing on Cassian’s shoulder, but Elain’s soft footsteps retreated up the stairs.

“Morning.”

She turned to find Cassian leaning against the doorway. Nyx, indeed, was still near sleeping where he had his head resting against Cassian, holding onto his shirt.

Clutching her coffee cup, Nesta breathed, “Good morning.”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, walking to the fridge and opening the door, pulling out a jug of orange juice.

“Honestly?” she muttered. “Shitty.”

Cassian snorted. “I’d say so.”

Silence ensued, and Cassian kissed Nyx’s forehead as he handed him to Nesta. “I’ll get him some breakfast.”

Nesta nodded, taking the sleepy baby and letting his head fall against her chest.

Cassian got oatmeal out of the pantry and mixed it with some milk before cutting strawberries into small squares. The entire time, Nesta watched him. The entire time, Cassian didn’t say a thing.

She could see the way his back muscles flexed through his old, white t-shirt.

It made her weak in the knees.

“Dada,” Nyx said, arm outstretched to Cassian.

“Almost ready, buddy,” he promised.

As Cassian walked toward the table, Nesta put Nyx in the highchair. She’d move him once Seph was awake and ready to eat. She had a feeling Nyx would be finished long before that, though, because the second Cassian sat the bowl on the tray, Nyx’s hands were covered in oatmeal.

Cassian chuckled and retreated back away from the table.

Nesta cleared her throat. “Cass?”

“Hmmm?”

“I-,” she hesitated, and sighed. “Thank you. For last night. I’m… I’m sorry, I was completely out of line-.”

“It’s fine,” he interrupted, pouring himself a glass of orange juice.

“It’s not fine.” He still hadn’t turned back to look at her. “It’s not, at all. What I did last night was stupid and irresponsible and selfish. And you took care of me and I didn’t deserve it. So… Thank you and I’m sorry.”

He was quiet for another minute, pouring a cup of coffee alongside his juice. “You’re welcome. Like I said, it’s fine. It happened, you recognize it was a dumbass decision to make. Just don’t make it again.”

She nodded, though he still couldn’t see her, since he still had his back to her.

Nesta asked, “Can we… Can we talk about last night?”

“I don’t know what there is to talk about, Nes,” he sighed, finally turning to look at her. He leaned back against the counter. “Before or after you showed up drunk?”

“Both,” she stood up and crossed the kitchen toward him. She suddenly remembered she was wearing nothing but his t-shirt. “Like I said, I was way out of line.”

Cassian watched her for a moment before letting out a breath, his shoulders sagging. “Yeah, well… The store room was just as much me as it was you, so don’t apologize for that one.”

Nesta nodded, and looked over at Nyx, stuffing his face. “Do you regret it?”

A beat passed. “The store room?”

She nodded.

Cassian drank from his glass. “Do you?”

I asked you first, she wanted to say, but didn’t. Instead, she said, “It was unprofessional.”

“That’s not an answer,” he said.

“Neither is refusing to answer the question at all,” Nesta pointed out.

Cassian snorted. “Fair.”

They fell into silence, yet again, the only sounds coming from Nyx and his excitement about food.

“Is that all you have to say this morning?” Cassian asked, and she knew he was looking at her, so her eyes remained on the floor.

“I apologized,” she said. “I thanked you. What else is there to say?”

Cassian nodded, apparently that was answer enough for him. “Alright, well, Viv is planning on meeting you and Nyx back at the house at noon. I’ll see you at work.”

He turned his back to her and started walking out of the kitchen.

“Wait,” Nesta breathed, making her way toward him. “There is one more thing I’d like to say, like to ask.”

Cassian stopped and slowly turned to face her.

It was all too familiar. Him, in his sweatpants and old tee. Her, in his shirt, after a night spent cuddled up together.

Even if the night before had been under completely different circumstances.

She cleared her throat. “I think you should come back home, Cass.”

He searched her eyes, searched for the underlying meaning. “Why?”

“Because Nyx misses you,” Nesta said, without missing a beat. “He misses seeing you everyday.”

“Is he the only one?” Cassian asked, taking a step toward her.

“Cassian,” she breathed, shaking her head.

He nodded, slowly, taking a deep breath. “That’s what I thought.”

He turned around, but Nesta reached out for him. “Cassian, please, just come back-.”

“I can’t,” he said, quietly. “I can’t be there, every day, seeing you, and not being able to do something as simple as give you a hug, Nes. I can’t be there and pretend like things are fine, and that I’m not completely miserable. I can’t. I can’t do that. I’m not ready for that.”

The brush of her fingers against his arm felt like a brand and it took everything in him not to rip it from her grasp.

“I’m going to get ready,” he said, as calmly as he could. “I’ll see you at work. Viv will be there at noon to watch him.”

Her fingers fell away as he stepped out of reach and walked back through the living room and down the hall. As always, he never slammed the door. He never let his anger get the best of him. She heard it shut with a soft click.

“Mama?”

Nesta whirled, her eyes falling on Nyx. He was a sticky mess, oatmeal and smashed strawberries all over his hands and cheeks, but he was looking right at her. “Mama,” he repeated, holding out the empty bowl for her. As if he was saying, all done.

She gave him the best smile she could muster, before crossing the room and taking the bowl from him. “Thank you, sweet boy.”

A few minutes later, she’d left the bowl soaking in the sink, had wiped him down as best she could and had nabbed a pair of leggings from Elain’s clean laundry. She didn’t want to have to interrupt Cassian to ask about her dirty dress.

Without another word to anyone, she packed Nyx up in the car and was gone, heading for home. A few minutes later, she pulled in the driveway, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that something was missing.

Without that stupid truck parked next to her car, it didn’t feel quite like home. Going inside and not finding a game on the TV, or the smell of bacon cooking this early, it didn’t feel like home.

Without Cassian there, nothing did.

And she knew she was the only one to blame.

[theblindhakune]

So, Seph/Gen shenanigans as per @altocat 's suggestion. Adding Angeal because I don't write about him enough. This is probably gonna be completely nonsensical but I don't mind : D

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Let's fight a bigass snake for fun"

"I can't believe that you managed to drag me into this, Rhapsodos."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Seph. This is going to be great. Besides, of all people, it shouldn't be a problem to you at all. That's why you should give us two the chance first. Right, Geal?"

"Mm... I think I'm with Seph on this one this time, Gen. We were drunk."

The three young men stood on a hill by the southern marsh. They observed as the wet, muddy ground moved in waves. At times the Midgar Zolom lifted its head to snag a bird off the air as a snack. The enormous snake then dove back in.

"How are we going to get to the middle, anyway?", Angeal asked. "If that's what the rules call."

"With chocobos, of course!"

The black-haired one nodded, interest waning by the second. "Yeah, right."

Genesis grinned. "The rules also say that you have to catch the bird by yourself." He turned to Sephiroth especially. "Feeding them anything isn't allowed."

The silverhair simply lifted a brow. The redhead knew that he had next to no experience with chocobos.

"Well, I guess we have no choice", Angeal sighed. He looked around the meadows surrounding them, searching for a flock of the bright yellow, feathery friends. He spotted a group of about a dozen some distance away. "There's some. Gen, are you going to tell Seph what to do?"

The redhead only gave a shit-eating grin. He wouldn't divulge any of the precious information.

"Rhapsodos, was this a plan solely to humiliate me?", Sephiroth asked. "I've never even touched a chocobo."

"Oh, not at all! What makes you think that, dear friend? Come on, now." Genesis wrapped an arm around the silverhair's shoulders, pulling him along.

They got close to the animals, yet remained far enough to not alarm them.

The redhead gestured for Sephiroth to go get himself a bird. "General, the honor is yours."

The silverhair narrowed his eyes. "Depending on how this goes, Colonel Rhapsodos might be eligible for punishment."

"Oh~? I think I like those words", Genesis chirped as a reply.

"Gods, Gen, stop before you even start!", Angeal cried. "Seph, let's just humor the clown and get out of here."

"Thank you, Colonel Hewley." Sephiroth gave the redhead a hard glare before turning to the birds. He could do this...

The man in the black coat snuck closer to the animals. Some of them lifted and turned their heads at the approaching general. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring back at the fluffy creatures.

Genesis had his phone up, filming the happenstance. "He's never going to make it like that."

"Let's give him the benefit of the doubt", Angeal suggested. He had to hide his smile behind a hand.

Sephiroth dashed at the birds, determined to grab onto the closest one! Unfortunately, such a move sent the animals running. He only got some tail feathers as a souvenir.

"Oh Goddess, is he going to chase- He is!! Look at him!"

The general had gone running after the chocobos. The birds were fast, but he was faster. He managed to reach one of them, but his attempt to mount the possible steed failed as the damn thing made a hard turn, kicking the silverhair in the process. Sephiroth ate dirt.

The colonels laughed. Angeal's attempts at stifling the noise were in vain, while Genesis had tears in his eyes.

Sephiroth could hear them. He got up and shook the dust off of himself. Once more, he ran after the birds, specifically the one he'd already chased.

The poor ball of feathers had already tired itself out. This time the general managed to jump onto its back. The chocobo almost threw him off, shaking and jumping around like crazy. Sephiroth kept his arms wrapped around the animal's neck, giving him more stability.

Eventually, the bird calmed down, and the general rode it back to his friends. He gave the two dirty looks.

"Wow", Genesis said, "I have never seen someone do it like that." He held the camera up to Seph's face. "How did the ground taste?"

Sephiroth tried to grab the phone out of the redhead's hand. "I'll make you taste it yourself if you keep up with this, Gen. Your turn."

The colonel put the device away. "Fine, fine. Now, observe. One day you might also learn how to perfectly catch a chocobo." He waltzed towards the flock that had gathered back.

Angeal glanced up at his friend. "You didn't get hurt?"

"No", Sephiroth answered.

"Your pride didn't take any hits?"

"Not a single one. I know what Genesis is trying to do."

The two watched as the redhead approached the flock. Slowly, he inched closer to the birds. They noticed him, too, lifting their heads. Genesis crouched, making himself appear smaller. He kept his gaze low.

"Kweh!" The chocobos spread their wings and tails in an attempt to ward off the weird creature.

The redhead didn't stop. Instead, he went even lower. Step by step he made it right up to the birds, knowing that they wouldn't attack.

The animals relaxed a little, although still suspicious. One of them got closer to the colonel, curious.

Genesis saw his chance! In one well swoop he mounted the chocobo, locking his legs around its upper body. And unlike Sephiroth, who had essentially performed a choke hold on his poor bird, the colonel grabbed the animal right under its chin by one hand. The bird jumped, shook and spun around violently, yet Genesis didn't budge one bit. Quite the opposite, the man was having fun!

"Kweeh!"

"Kweh to yourself! Be a good girl, now!" He rubbed the side of the bird's neck, seemingly calming it down. "There we go."

He rode back to the other two, head held high. He had such an annoying grin on his face.

"Well, what say you, Sephiroth?"

"Hmh, impressive. I can see that this wasn't your first rodeo."

"Oh, my friend! You forget that I'm a country bumpkin, through and through. I have tamed more chocobos than you and I have read books combined."

"Give him a break, Gen. Wait here." Angeal went to get his own bird. He acted much like his redheaded friend, quickly succeeding in his endeavor.

Once ready, the three headed towards the marsh. The Zolom waited.

"Who's going to try first?", the black-haired one asked.

"Well, Seph is going to be the last one", the redhead pondered. "Mind if you go first, Geal?"

The colonel shrugged. "If that gets me out of this mess faster, sure."

"Aww, you're no fun with that attitude!"

"Heads up!", the general shouted.

They had already entered the marsh, and the running chocobos alerted the beast. It slithered towards them, now!

"Good luck, Geal!" The other two ran into opposing directions, leaving the colonel to face the approaching monster himself.

Angeal jumped off of his bird, which immediately bolted out of the snake's way. The gigantic jaws closed around empty air.

The Zolom slid past Angeal. It turned around, hissing and baring its fangs. Then, it attacked, trying to swallow the colonel!

Angeal, even with his legs half-sunken into the swamp, managed to dodge. He took a hold of its neck.

The snake, while incredibly strong, had to truly fight against the grasp. It couldn't lift its head, so it smashed itself onto the little human. This maneuver gave it the opportunity to roll around, truly dragging Angeal through the mud. The man had to let go.

The colonel, now lying in the wet, thick ground, gasped for air. He looked up at the figure that obscured the sun. Two furious eyes stared right down at him.

Someone grabbed Angeal by the back of the collar. He got pulled onto a chocobo's back.

"Are you hurt, Angeal?" It was Sephiroth. He headed out of the marsh to take his friend to safety.

"Not too badly. Damn Genesis and his plans..." He spit out some mud.

"Agreed. I almost want to tell Director Lazard about this, but we'd get in trouble, too." He dropped the colonel off.

Angeal sprawled onto the stable ground, soft grass under him. He scooped some of the silt off of his hair. "Let's see how he does. Be careful, Seph."

The silverhair gave a reassuring smile before heading back into the snake's lair again. For now, he'd watch how Genesis would fare.

Right then, the redhead jumped off of his steed and onto the snake's back. He ran up the sleek, scaled body, going for the neck. Even if Angeal hadn't been able to wrestle it down, Genesis could for sure! At least, in his mind he did.

The Zolom noticed the pest. It dove right into the mud, causing the redhead to fall onto his face. His clothes and hair got soaked, never mind the perfectly done makeup.

"Genesis, how does the ground taste!?", Sephiroth shouted from afar.

"Oh, shut the hell up!", the colonel yelled back.

The snake erupted, throwing Genesis up in the air. It then hit the man with its tail, sending him flying out of the marsh.

Sephiroth dismounted the chocobo, letting it run free. He watched as the snake approached, furious. It slithered on ground, dashing with its maw open once it got closer!

The general leapt up, landing onto the snake's muddy back. The momentum and the slippery surface made him slide towards the beast's split tail. Once there, he grabbed the creature's body right below the tail's splitting point. He jumped off and stuck himself to the ground. The beast couldn't escape.

With unbelievable strength, he swung the massive snake over his head. The creature landed onto its back, mildly dazed.

Sephiroth had noticed a spear-like, withered tree right outside the marsh. He let go of the snake and headed towards the edge of the area.

The Zolom rolled back onto its stomach. If it hadn't been angry before, now it was for sure. Hissing, it followed the intruder.

The general stopped, waiting for the snake to approach. He anticipated a tail swing, knowing that the creature didn't go outside the marsh at all.

His anticipation was proven correct when the Zolom spun around, swinging its tail at the little pest.

Sephiroth took the hit, but he didn't budge. Instead, he held his ground and grabbed the tail again. Now, with the tree in range, he threw the snake over his head yet again. The natural spear pierced through the Zolom's head, ending its life right then.

He waded through the marsh onto a more solid surface. His friends were waiting for him.

"I can't say that that wasn't cool", Angeal said, smiling. "What do you think, Gen?"

"We were supposed to wrestle the snake, not kill it!", the redhead reminded.

Sephiroth cleaned the worst of the mud off of his coat. "Really? I thought that the rules only called that no swords or magic were allowed. Besides, you said that this wouldn't be a problem for me at all. You had your chances."

Genesis opened his mouth, but Angeal butted in: "Yeah, that's what I remember, too." He stood up. "Well, if we've had our fun here, I think we should leave. Let's hope that some wild animal hasn't wrecked the bikes like last time."

The redhead and silverhair followed the colonel. Such a performance would surely feels as aches and stiffness for the next few days.

---------------------------------------------------------

Director Lazard, sitting behind his desk, stared at the three first class SOLDIERs in front of him sternly. Angeal and Genesis had some bruises and cuts on their faces and arms. Sephiroth, in turn, had for once covered his chest, supposedly because his sudden health check-up from yesterday said that he had a massive bruise there.

The man sighed, pushing his glasses up on his nose. "Yesterday you had a, what did you call it, a guys' evening out. Today I hear that the Midgar Zolom has been killed. Which one of you did it?"

Angeal and Genesis pointed at Sephiroth. The silverhair lifted his hand.

"Why, Sephiroth? I don't remember us asking for you to destroy delicate fauna like that."

"Oh please, it was all but delicate-" Genesis' words were interrupted by Angeal placing a hand over his mouth.

"Colonel Rhapsodos dared me to, sir", Sephiroth answered.

"And you complied?"

"I did, sir."

Lazard took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Gods, you embarrass the whole SOLDIER department within this company..."

"Are we in trouble?"

"Why, yes, Rhapsodos, you are."

"But why? It was just one big snake."

"That snake has been under the Research and Development department's watchful eye until now. The next Midgar Zolom will reach its full size in..." Lazard checked from his notes. "Ten years. Director Hojo won't be pleased with you lot."

"What is our punishment, sir?", Angeal asked. He knew it was coming.

"That is for up to Professor Hojo to decide. In fact, he wants to discuss about it with you after this meeting. Go. He's waiting in his lab."

The three bowed politely before leaving. They got into the elevator, going up. Knowing Genesis' explosive nature, especially around the aforementioned scientist, this punishment could spell out more trouble.

[im-totally-not-an-alien]

Final Fantasy 7 prompts no 72

1. Cloud definitely underestimated Angeal and Genesis. He was barely holding his own against the two, and that was before Sephiroth came. Now his only option was to retreat...

2. "Cloud," the silverette ground out, having lost his original baritone, "whatever you did- undo it."

Huffing softly to himself, he reached down and picked up the now eight year old warrior, carrying him on his hip. "Oh, I plan to. Somehow." After all, Cloud couldn't bring himself to kill a kid...even one as evil as his nemesis.

3. Cloud tensed when he felt arms wrap around him, lifting his torso from the damp soil.

Opening his eyes was far more difficult than it should have been.

"SOLDIER! Can you hear me? Respond!"

"...soldier?" Cloud couldn't remember why he was here...or even his name really. Why was this man carrying him and what was Shinra?

4. Cid and Shera are expecting a baby, and both are super excited. Also everything is space themed regardless of gender.

Clouds stalkers, erm, "fan club" somehow got ahold of a video of him oh so carefully folding baby clothes before putting them back on the rack. They think the dainty and careful way he handles the baby stuff is adorable.

Cloud is mortified.

Cid just slapped him on the back and told him he better get thier kid something cute.

5. Insane Sephiroth meeting Eldrich Cloud in another dimention.

"What's in it for me?"

An innocent question, if not for the fact Sephiroth had just asked him to commit mass genocide. Still, this was a situation he had been dreaming of for years now. His crush puppet was finally willing to follow his strings.

The silverette never noticed the predatory look the blond gave him. By the time he realized he was in over his head, it was far too late.

6. With AVALANCHE gone and the W.R.O. in shambles, Cloud and Sephiroth agree to set aside thier differences to fight a common enemy.

Sephiroth is overjoyed and Cloud is just grateful hes only been called "puppet" a measly three times this week

7. Cloud repeatedly tazing Sephiroth while the former General just smiles down at him, unaffected.

Clouds a little scared, ngl

8. Reeve Tueski being a disaster Bi.

Hes getting crushes on ALL of his targets, which is the worst possible outcome for a spy. He didn't even know he was Bi before this gods dammit!

What's worse is that his type is apparently Super Hot Eco-Terrorists

He's doomed.

9. Cloud is injured and dying, causing Sephiroth to panic.

Mother will fix this, he thought to himself, I just have to get him to her and everything will be fine.

He refused to lose the only thing that was ever truly his

10. After a "Mini" spell gone awry, Genesis is left the size of an action figure.

He makes a bad situation worse by putting on a pair of devil horns (where did those even come from?) And carrying around a tiny pitchfork. He proceeded to drop down onto peoples shoulders and torment them.

Angeal wants to help, he really does, but he can't. Stop. Laughing.

Zack: Whoa! Who are you?

Genesis: You're inner demon :}

Zack: Aww, you're adorable!!!

Genesis:

Genesis: OK. I'll admit I wasn't expecting that, but thank you.

Genesis: Now go blow up that thing over there.

11. Sephiroth is knocked into an alternate reality and swaps places with the Sephiroth of that world.

He wakes up in a bed with a familiar blond shaking his shoulder, "Cmon, Mother is waiting for us downstairs."

Needless to say, Seph is a little confused, but goes with it anyway. Turns out, the Sephiroth of this world lives with his five younger brothers: Weiss, Cloud, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo. All of whom serve thier mother, the dark goddess Jenova, who dotes on them incessantly.

Cloud was born prematurely, meaning he came out "underbaked". The Sephiroth of this world had apparently promised mother to coddle protect him. He can do that too...maybe...

Meanwhile, in the other universe:

Our Cloud: I can feed myself dammit!

Other Sephiroth: That's good to hear. Now open your mouth.

AVALANCHE is too busy laughing and taking pictures to help

12. Tifa introduced her new "SOLDIER-killer" drinks to Cloud right before she left with the kids to meet up with Barret for the weekend

Cloud didn't think anything of it at first, but apparently the more mako you have in your body, the more the drink affects you. After three drinks Cloud was giggling like a schoolgirl. Thats when the worst possible thing happens.

Sephiroth shows up...but Cloud was too drunk to care. The blond managed to convince Sephiroth to have one drink. One!

Then they woke up three days later in a Vagas hotel room with massive hangovers, matching tattoos and wedding bands.

The former General is staring at the wall in shock while Cloud is still trying to figure out where "Navada" is on Gaias maps and how he's never heard of it before

Aka You ever get so drunk you marry your arch nemesis and transcend dimensions with them?

13. Dadesis with tiny time traveling terror versions of Shelua and Shelke.

Team mom Angeal is parent of the year while Sephiroth looms awkwardly in the background cause Shelke is terrified of him. Poor Seph.

14. Time traveler Cloud thrown into DeepGround

15. Children keep giving Cloud chocobo merchandise and all his friends keep teasing him about it.

[saanphoenix]

So, the more time passes, the more Fury a werewolf has, before they ultimately transform. At least, at the low levels of werewolfhood. Anyway, this means that they start glowing red and behaving like an asshole. Here we have Vincent intimidating a poor mermaid who’d just walked in the door to see Sephiroth. Said mermaid immediately fled and went home. No friends for you, Sephiroth.

And right before transformation, this shit happens. Really glad Sims 4 went with the red color for werewolves. Shout out to Caleb Vatore in the back. He and Vincent didn’t get along, on account of vampires vs. werewolves, but they went to dinner and sorted it all out.

He got home from the restaurant just in time to transform.

Awoo, motherfucker.

He spent many in-game hours with the Zoomies. He just...ran around the neighborhood. A lot.

At one point, he sensed Sephiroth awake and decided he needed to intimidate him a bunch and also snarl at him. As for why Sephiroth has yellow mist clinging to him, Vincent has Enhanced Smell, which he used, and picked up Seph’s scent, which is yellow because he’s just a regular Sim. He thought he smelt very interesting.

And then he ran off again to “Somewhere?” and transformed back completely nude on the top of a mountain. Good job, Vincent. You didn’t break anything or anyone. Proud of you.