#apologies for the long post but tysm if you took the time to read it <3

[sheryl-lee]

semi-hiatus while awaiting surgery for major health issues

tldr; i have a long-undiagnosed autoimmune disease that has been painfully eating away at the jaw joints in my face since childhood to the point of physical disability. i will need to undergo major facial reconstructive + joint replacement surgery to prevent further bone loss and restore my quality of life. i’m going on semi-hiatus until i get surgery and fully recover, which should take about 1-2+ years in total.

i was recently diagnosed with progressive condylar resorption, aka PCR, which causes ongoing bone loss and damage within the jaw's temporomandibular joints (TMJs).

in my case, an autoimmune and connective tissue disease began when i was around 5-10 years old, stunting the growth of my jaws + chin and contributing to PCR development. but it went completely undiagnosed until this year, with my worsening symptoms repeatedly dismissed by my pediatric providers. as a result, the disease has continued into adulthood and is beginning to affect the other joints in my body, while the PCR has caused years of severe pain, sleep apnea, and dysfunction.

the only solution to fully eliminate the PCR and correct my skeletal issues is total joint replacement of both TMJs + upper jaw surgery + chin surgery, all in one operation — aka an extremely major and lengthy facial reconstructive surgery with a 6-12 month post-op recovery. to have the best results, i will first need to be back in braces for 8 months; so the entire process from pre-op to full recovery will take 1-2+ years.

i’m going on semi-hiatus in the meantime. i will continue to regularly check my tracked tag (#usersameera), but i won't be making gifs as often. i might check in with personal health updates from time to time. i hope that in the near future i'll be pain-free, functional, and more present in my own life.

[hoshigray]

hii love ur works 🫶🏽

can I req brat reader giving toji the WORST attitude? 💗.

*sinister laugh* Why, yes, you can, noonie! When I saw this, the first scenario that came to mind was the reader being another assassin who likes to get on Toji's nerves. So, imma stick with that!! Had to take an all-nighter to finish this up, hehe~ (no fr tho, it's 8:35 in the morning here) Thank you for loving my stuff, and enjoy~~

A/n: posting this bc I'm staling on my Geto fic since my brain has so much it wants to add...sigh. In the meantime, while I'm working on this, I figured I could drop this as an apology for pulling the fic back (~_~;) My apologies, and I hope y'all like this one! Also tysm for 1.7k followers!! Y'all are too kind and sweet, happy to be writing for you~☆ Cw: hard dom! Toji x bratty fem! reader - you and Toji are assassins on a mission together - explicit content; minors DNI - implied age gap (the reader is at least in their 20s; Toji in his mid-30s or approaching 40s, up to you) - fingering (f! receiving) - cunnilingus - sexual acts in a public place - degradation (brat, crybaby, slut, whore) - Daddy kink - reader talking smack, but Toji teaches you a lesson - tiny praise - pussydrunk! Toji - pet names (baby, doll, princess) - ends with penetration, but mostly Toji eating you out - unprotected sex (PSA: wrap it up, or get the fuck up) - overstimulation - clitoral play (pinching, pushing, and sucking) - mentions of blood. Wc: 1.8k

You recently joined the hitmen field not too long ago. Still young and new to the workforce, it wasn't the first place you figured to enter for some quick cash. But with your astute skills and abilities, no other occupation best suited you. Besides, it wasn't long before people looked past your recent addition and saw what you were made of. Not only were you good at your job, but you were climbing the ranks, swifting past your inferior subordinates.

It's nothing new, though. You were always good at what you do, better than others at what you do. Doing everything perfectly and effortlessly, that was your style. And everybody knew that.

Everybody but a particular individual. A specific man who always overshadowed you. An older man who snatched your attention the first moment he looked your way, the scar on his lip rooted up with the twinge of his lips.

"Rookies lookin' real cute these days, huh, doll?" were his first words to you. And from that day on, you did what you could to get close to him. Even if that meant irritating him.

From taking his missions to acting as a complete thorn in his side, you do whatever it takes to get Toji's attention. Especially his silent pissed off expressions, which are your favorite to see. And don't let your handler tell you that you two would be on a mission together because the teasing would be endless for the poor, experienced hitman.

Just like today, when you two are deployed to kill an old geezer and his goons for a massive sum of money, Toji goes to one side of the old warehouse to thin out the number of bodyguards and heads straight to the target's den, leaving you to the rest. But imagine his surprise when he sees the old man already dead on the chair at his desk, a stiletto pierced right through his neck, evident of his demise as a stream of crimson staining his yellow dress shirt.

And Toji notices a note left on the weapon, the familiar handwriting in pink with a kiss mark already tells him who wrote it. "Gotta be quicker than that, Grandpa ~" is what he reads in your charming voice, and it vexes him knowing you beat him to the punch.

He sees you leaning on a pallet rack when he returns to the warehouse, and you smile when you turn to him. "Well, that was fast," you play coy, stretching when standing straight up. "Took care of those punks like five minutes ago, figured I'd wait on you."

"I got your note." He wastes no time. He's so hot when he does that.

"Oh? Did ya like it~?" Your hand swiftly grabs something that came dangerously close to your temple — your stiletto. It was thrown with the knowledge that you would catch it. So serious, huh.

"Ya know, for someone callin' me a 'grandpa,' you sure act like a damn kid leavin' y'r toys everywhere."

You chuckle at his complaint. "Awww, did I hurt your big boy feelings with my little words?" You see his green eyes watch your every move as you walk up close to him. "Sorry~, not my fault you were too slow to get the final kill."

Toji raises a brow. "How'd ya get to him before me?"

You shrug with a cheeky grin. "Assassins don't tell their secrets, especially when your old head couldn't get it."

It's his turn to chortle. "Oh yeah? Ya think y'r too fast for me?"

"I wouldn't say that, just that you're too slow for me," your hands go up defensively when he takes a step forward, and you try hard to not get turned on by his well-built physique displayed by the shirt that does a terrible job hiding his features. "As a matter of fact, I bet you're slow at other things."

He takes another step forward, and before you register his next move, he already has you pinned to the pallet rack you once leaned against. His smirk grows broader while your eyes widen at the sudden shifting. "Was that too slow fr' you, princess?"

No, absolutely not. That's what you would want to say to him, his tall figure engulfing you under his presence. But you didn't want to let off that easily, your hand finding the crotch of his pants. When verdant eyes shut to the feeling of your fingers brushing against his bulge, you take the chance to say more. "Oh, that was totally too slow for me, geezer. Such a shame; I thought you'd be a lot more fun. But guess I'll have to go on to the next person who could do a better job."

"Mmm, don't start somethin' y'r not ready for, brat." His gruff voice dials to a whisper, your ears replaying the tone, making the throbbing sensation between your legs prosper. You can feel his erection, even with his pants blocking the view. "Good luck findin' someone who'd shut that pretty mouth of y'rs better than I do."

You giggle after grabbing onto his erect cock, forcing the older man to hiss and his face coming down to your level. You whisper to his ear. "And what makes you think a dumb, old, brute-for-brains like you could satisfy me? I fail to see what you're capable of, grandpa." Those were the words you chose to entice the man under your spell.

But what you really failed to see was the predicament you've gotten yourself in.

Lying on a pallet with your back, your pretty bottoms and panties now discarded to the dirty floor, you scream out to the empty warehouse. Tears and drool escape from your face, and the quiver in your legs is evidence of your body going through the absolute most right now. "Haaahh! Ahhhh!! T-Tojiii, Toji, please!! I'm—Hoooohh!!" You grab tufts of raven hair that are stationed between your legs.

The older man holds your legs up with one hand, the other nestled between your slick-coated folds as his middle and forefinger push in and out of your cunt. His tongue licks furiously on your clitoris, your cries evident of the abuse on your tender bud and vulva.

Toji removes the wet muscle and moves his fingers go an instantaneous pace, the tips of his digits scraping your walls resulting in more tears falling off your face without fail. He snickers, "Look at you; all that screamin' and hollerin' like a damn whore have you forgetting simple rules." His thumb finds your clit, pushing down on it every time his fingers are propelled inside. "What did I tell you to call me, brat?"

The unforgiving rhythm of his hand on your bare vulva has you seeing stars and choking on your spit. "I-I'm sorry, Daddy!! I didn't mean to make you mad at me!"

"You sure 'bout that?" His condescending tone matched the devilish twinge of his scarred lips. The digits doing a 'come hither' motion that has your body jerking nowhere, your legs still restrained by his firm arm pushing them to your stomach. "My 'big boy feelings' were crushed with y'r little comments, so here I am gettin' the payback I need. Was acting all high and mighty until I got my mouth on ya."

"But I said—Mmmph!! I'm sorry!" You wail out, your face hot with embarrassment and excitement. "And I already came—Oh fuck...C-Came three times!!"

"You called me names four times, so I expect you to cum one more time, you fuckin' crybaby." He replies coldly, your tears and pleas on deaf ears. "Heh, if I knew havin' my fingers in you like this would have you behavin', I woulda done it earlier. Grippin' on my 'em like a damn slut."

His fingers go faster with no smooth transition as his mouth returns to your soft button, your screams erupting from the back of your exhausted throat. Even with your voice filling the scene, you can only listen to the raunchy noises of the commotion between your thighs. It's enough for you to wish your ears burn at such lewd sounds, and your head pounding worsens the state of your already mushy brain. This is what you wanted all this time — to have the man you've been infatuated with give you the attention to so dearly strived and poked for. However, the intensity of it all was nowhere near what you had expected.

"Nnnmm!! Daddyyy," the title slurred from your mouth feels hot to the tongue, but it's the only way to address him before your punishment intensifies. You peer down to see his black hair come up, fierce emerald eyes taking in your expressions. "It's coming, gonna cum again!!"

"Yeah? Wanna come on my fingers again?" He chortles when you rapidly nod at him, pathetically desperate for your release. "Fine, cum on Daddy's fingers like the slut you are." He moves his hands to the back of your thighs and has his tongue slowly glide up your soapy chasm, tasting your wetness until he reaches your clitoris and attacks the bud more. Circling around and sucking on your precious nub prompts your orgasm to climb up, and it hits you hard when his teeth and tongue grind on your clit.

With final moans of pleasure, you experience your finish with the harsh treatment of Toji's mouth, hands purchasing his hair for faux stability. Your legs tremble with curled toes, and your body jolts with the shocks. And Toji doesn't stop until he licks the slit clean of your essence, slurping up your sensitive folds until his thirst has quenched. All you can do is submit and let him have his way with you, sucking up your fluids from your cunt to the mess of your inner thighs.

"Mmmm, fucking Christ, Y/n," you hear his mumbled curse below. "Taste so fuckin' good, baby..."

Your body soon calms down from the climax, trying to steady your breathing with even breaths. And Toji finally finishes drinking your wetness, drawing his head up to reveal his lips wet with your come, licking it and his fingers. "Bet that wasn't slow fr' ya, huh."

You meekly nod your head. "And I bet nobody's gonna make you shut you up like that, huh?" You nod again.

The smirk on his face scares you, especially when he straightens up to show his erect dick still hard and ready to be free from the tented pants. And when his cock springs out, your sweaty body runs cold immediately.

"Good," he says while bringing you close to him, arranging his cock to your wet entrance. "But we ain't done here." Complaints and pleas aren't able to enter the air because you just watch the tip of his cock bully through the lips of your chasm and enter inside you with ease. He gradually pushes his entire length into you, getting full with every inch as his girth intrudes between your tight, smooth walls.

"Keep up wit' me, baby," his eyes hone in on you, gauging your reactions before he starts moving his hips relentlessly. "because I'm about to show you what I'm really capable of."

[apollostears]

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄, 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐄 # ！︎

↠︎ warning(s) + request: angsty-ish, fluff, hurt/comfort, might be ooc aki, devil!reader. Just wanna say that u are really talented (idk what vocab should i use since english is not my first language) in writing i love ur fic so much <33 what i wanna add is the snow devil herself have pastel blue from hair root to pastel purple ends gradient hair color, mint green left eye and sky blue right eye, the snow devil would be so insecure about her looks. The snow devil also was the adoptive elder sister to Makima. Thats all ty if u did write this. Its ok if u dont tysm <33

↠︎ pairing: aki hayakawa x devil!reader

my sweetest love @missshinazugawa, i offer you the humblest of apologies for how long this took :( pls forgive me!! <3 thank you for the support bookie

as the snow devil angel, your looks always stand out

with pastel blue and purple hair and heterochromatic eyes, attention was inevitable and growing up you were picked on a lot for the difference

makima was your younger sister via adoption but she always defended you like she was the eldest

the devil hunting society was cruel and people’s comments on your appearance had gotten worse

everything took a turn when someone vandalized your desk, with words like ‘demon’, ‘freak’, ‘useless’, ‘ugly’, etc. 

and usually you could tough it out but the fact that smth like that was able to happen so casually to you in the workplace, you couldn’t help but become overwhelmed with emotions.

embarrassed, you left the building and went to the roof. 

aki, makima’s most competent leader, had found you

unbeknownst to you, aki was beginning to fall for you and found you stunning! 

he had surprised you by sitting next to you on the ledge of building, letting you cry into his shoulder

aki cursed the people who vandalized your things and vowed to find out who did it (he did)

you weren’t expecting this from someone who vehemently hates devils

his presence and conviction to defend your image were calming and allowed you to see him in a different light

from there, the two of you began a friendship  that is now a relationship!

with makima as your sister and aki as your boyfriend, you don’t get picked on at work anymore

but sometimes people in public get too obvious in their stares and disgust with a devil being around them

aki matches them with a stare of his own, one just as mean. he always has an arm around you but it tightens whenever you get uncomfortable

usually people get the hint but every once in awhile, you’re shielding your eyes from witnessing your lover beat the shit out of another person thats overstepped

he’s fiercely protective of you and loves you downnnnnnn 

aki would rather speed up his death than hurt you/allow someone else to hurt you

if you’re ever feeling bad afterwards or just in one of those moods where your insecurities are overwhelming, aki commences ‘self-care with aki day’

its where he takes care of you and pampers you, making sure you feel at least half as beautiful 

you guys are usually  sleeping in, reading, cuddling, watching tv/movies, eating your favorite foods, and doing some skin care when these things happen

he also posts affirmations all over the house and packs your bentos with them all the time 

calls you ‘pretty’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘beautiful’, ‘lovely’, and ‘angel’ pretty much every second he breathes

this man works overtime to protect your body from the negative thoughts of others and yourself

he loves staring into your eyes and saying “sorry, they’re so mesmerizing angel” whenever you scold him for looking too long

is 100% your biggest fan

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. @kennyackermanswhore @chaoticevilbakugo @indiecursor @gabzlovesu @desiray562 @brownmochii @knjkitten @sweeneyblue1 @namjoonswifeyy @nyxeclipse @rubinocore @somerandompipzsxh @dabilovesme @histarean @hannas16 @caribbeanwifey19 @emonaculate @po3ticb3auty @waka-umm @wilsonsbuck @ctrlstar @jealousfuckingcunt @savagemickey03 @dukina @saintblk @sisnot @littlemochi @hoohoohope @ruubric @tor-tor8 @beautyfairykei @lilvampirina

[darkstar225]

Twice’s 10th member has a suitor

A/N: I got another ask on Tumblr and I hope the anon that gave me this idea likes it! :)

The request: Love your work very much , can i request for a twice x 10th member reader just like the ones you write but this time someone tries to court y/n like they give them flowers and chocolates or flirt with y/n ...how do you think twice will react? Thank yew

PS: Tysm for everyone that reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________

As Y/N walked into the practice room, the familiar sound of music and laughter filled the air. Being the youngest member of TWICE, she had grown close to her unnies, that are already family, finding comfort and support in their presence. Today was no different as she joined them for another collaboration practice, excited to work on a special project. However, little did she know that today would bring unexpected surprises and new beginnings.

As she settled down, chatting with her sisters, a figure caught her eye. Park Jisung from NCT had entered the room, his charming smile lighting up the space. Her heart skipped a beat (whose wouldn't?) as he made his way towards her, holding a bouquet of beautiful flowers in his hands. The unnies exchanged knowing glances, a mixture of curiosity and concern etched on their faces.

Jisung - Hey, Y/N, I saw these flowers and thought of you. I hope you like them.

Her cheeks flushed with a mix of surprise and delight as she accepted the bouquet. 

Y/N - Thank you, Jisung. They're lovely!

TWICE's members watched the exchange, their protective instincts kicking in. They had heard stories of Jisung's playful nature and weren't entirely sure if he was the right person for Y/N. After all, they had grown quite protective of their youngest member.

Throughout the practice, Jisung made an effort to catch her attention. He would crack jokes, occasionally glancing in her direction to see her reaction. His playful nature and infectious laughter began to break down her initial reservations, and soon, she found herself laughing along with him. As the days passed, Jisung continued to shower Y/N with attention. He'd surprise her with chocolates, leave her cute notes, and always make sure she felt special. His actions didn't go unnoticed by the unnies, that at first told the maknae to turn him down 'cause nobody deserved her, and their concern began to soften as they saw the sincerity in his gestures.

One evening, as the practice ended and everyone was getting ready to leave, Jisung approached the youngest with a shy smile. 

Jisung - Y/N, can we talk for a moment?

Curiosity piqued, she nodded, following him to a quieter corner of the room. Jisung took a deep breath before speaking, his eyes filled with vulnerability.

Jisung - Y/N, I've admired you for a long time. Your talent, your kindness, everything about you. I've been trying to court you because I genuinely believe we could be great together. But I also understand if you're not ready or if you don't feel the same way.

His honesty and vulnerability touched her heart. Y/N looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and passion within them.

Y/N - Jisung, I appreciate everything you've done for me, and I do feel a connection. But it's important that my unnies accept you too. They mean the world to me, and their opinion matters.

Jisung - I completely understand. I'll do my best to win them over, Y/N. I care about you, and I want you to be happy! *nodding understandingly*

With newfound determination, Jisung approached TWICE's members, genuinely seeking their approval. He apologized for any misunderstandings and assured them of his intentions. Slowly but surely, he won their trust, showing them the genuine person he was and how much he cared for you. Days turned into weeks, and Jisung's presence became a natural part of the maknae from TWICE's life. The unnies, who were initially wary of him, began to see his unwavering support and genuine affection for her. They watched as he made her smile, brought out the best in her, and stood by her side through thick and thin. 

One evening, as TWICE and NCT gathered for a joint performance, Jisung surprised Y/N once again. As she stepped onto the stage, he joined her, taking her hand in his. The crowd erupted in cheers, and her unnies watched with pride as they saw the love and happiness radiating from both of them. As the performance came to an end, the stage erupted in applause and cheers. Y/N and Jisung took a bow, basking in the euphoria of the moment. Backstage, her sisters gathered around her, their eyes gleaming with happiness.

Jihyo - You were amazing, Y/N! *pulling you into a tight hug* And Jisung, thank you for making our Y/N so happy.

The other members nodded in agreement, their initial reservations now replaced with genuine warmth towards Jisung. It was evident that their worries had been unfounded, and they were thrilled to see their child thriving in love.

Momo chimed in, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Momo - So, Jisung, I hope you know that if you ever hurt Y/N, you'll have all of us to answer to.

Jisung laughed, his eyes crinkling at the corners. 

Jisung - I would never dream of hurting her. She means the world to me.

Wagging her finger, Sana interjected playfully.

Sana - Well, just remember, we have our eyes on you. Treat her right or we'll have to deal with you!

3mix - We're watching you kid.

Chaeyoung - You tell him moms!

The room filled with laughter, and a sense of camaraderie enveloped the group. It was a testament to the power of love and the bonds shared between friends. Jisung had not only won Y/N's heart but had also earned the trust and respect of her unnies, solidifying his place in her life.

As time went on, her relationship with Jisung continued to grow stronger. He became a pillar of support, always there to lend a listening ear or a comforting embrace. Through the ups and downs of the idol industry, he remained a constant source of love and stability in her life. And the members of TWICE? They became an extended family for Jisung as well. They celebrated birthdays, shared laughter and tears, and formed an unbreakable bond of friendship. The initial protectiveness they felt towards their dear maknae had transformed into a deep appreciation for Jisung and the love he brought into their kiddo's life.

Looking back, she couldn't help but feel grateful for the journey that had led her to Jisung. His initial attempts to court her, the doubts and concerns of her chosen family, and the gradual acceptance and love that blossomed among all of them had shaped her story into something beautiful. Love, it seemed, had a way of transforming lives and bringing people together. Together, Y/N and Jisung would continue to navigate the challenges of life, hand in hand, with her sisters by her side, forming an unbreakable family that would always be there for each other. And so, her journey continued and as the maknae embraced a future where dreams were chased, love conquered all, and the power of friendship transformed lives she could only think one thing:

I love my dear unnies.

A/N: I apologise for any errors, English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there's something wrong, ty for reading <3

[mywritingonlyfans]

I’m not sure he to say this but I’m absolutely obsessed with prof turner I check tumblr 4 times a day and reread it once a day Ilysm for writing that masterpiece

I'm sorry I'm doing this with you 😭 I wish I wasn't struggling to write, I can't say when I'm going to post part2 than soon, I'm trying to finish it very soon so I can post it but I'm in a loop of thinking I'm being too long-winded describing things. And I had to change some things because of the size/long and it doesn't seem fair to you to have to do more parts. (I regret not having expanded to more parts but at the same time imagine me taking so long to post, you would hate me). Anyway, there are still some bites left to be written and I'm still going to proofread... it will take a few more days, but I hope it will be soon! Sorry it's taking this long, guys 🥹 BUT I DEAD GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT ENOUGH TO BE REREADING IT!!! it's lovely!!! Tysm!!

:this is a small wip from somewhere near the beginning of part2:

His messy and crooked handwriting on the napkin somehow lingered in your mind. Not as much as the possibility of him being someone other than yours, but it persistently surrounded your aura. Your idealization of Professor Turner did not fit with him being a traitor, so yes, the way you portrayed him in your mind did not allow for such a possibility unless he proved otherwise. And that hurts, from deep within your core to the bitterness in your mouth and the burning in your throat. It was frustrating, yet you still wanted him around. What continued to motivate you to read the book he had given you and delve into his notes was the feeling of having him by your side, reading every word with you. Sometimes you were certain that if you closed your eyes, you could hear his rough, accentuated voice blending with the characters.

Perhaps, if you were his age and already held a degree, maybe even a professor specializing in romantic literature, there might have been something between you two. Picture it: a rainy afternoon, your head resting on his chest, his warm lips near your ear as he read to you. You hadn't openly acknowledged it yet, but you felt a certain compatibility despite the numbers of years difference. It took you a while to realize, but his demeanor softened whenever he saw you, his gaze growing more serene, and even the beloved wrinkle between his eyebrows had time to relax. His voice became gentler. You weren't completely oblivious to these cues, though you did have your doubts.

It all traced back to that one night when he had come to your aid, opening your eyes to the possibility that he could belong to someone. The faint, woody scent of his blazer had found its way to your home. He had even apologized for pulling back from a kiss, not wanting to be rude, and left his phone number in your belongings with a simple message: "Call me if you need me, lil’ one." He left no room for doubt; your mind still spun, and you felt helpless, uncertain about what steps to take. But your desire to do something about it burned brightly.

"I can hear your breathing," his tone was relaxed. Just as you hoped it would be with you, and then you wondered if he could recognize you by your breathing alone.

You remained silent, there was no plausible reason or emergency that had made you call. It wasn't strange, just unusual. He laughed, which made you imagine him with a cigarette between his fingers, taking a breath on the balcony with his mouth slightly open to blow out the smoke. Maybe he just smoked too much, and you weren't obsessed.

"It's okay, little one. We can stay in silence." He laughed, in a way that filled your lungs, and the little wrinkles around his eyes appeared for contemplation. At least in your mind, just for you.

You exhaled, your eyes filling with tears. It wasn't exactly a desire to cry, but you felt genuinely sad knowing that you weren't and wouldn't be his.

"How do you know it's me, Mr. Turner?" You wanted to sound playful, but your voice came out so shaky that it made calling him that seem inappropriate.

"It was a guess. Besides, I can't think of anyone who would call me at this hour and stay in deep silence. And, well," there was a pause, his guttural and muffled breathing making you take a deep breath. Enough time for a drag, you thought. "You know, I was ‘oping you’d call." He was sincere, typical of him. He always seemed too clear when he wanted to be. Everyone said he was strict, but you couldn't think of a time when he had made his students confused or uncertain about something he demanded. Demanded, that was a word that suited him in the classroom.

"Waited?" And you saw him nod with a sweet look for you, as if he were by your side. In fact, he just mumbled. "Expected me to be in trouble?" You tried to sound more cheerful.

There was a pause; you lay down, staring at the walls until you buried your nose in the pillow in a hug. He was close to his phone; you could hear him wet his lips and breathe lightly. You wanted to run your fingers over his face and hair again, but you couldn't deny that this was as magnificent as it got.

"Not at all, but I wouldn't hesitate to save you." His eyes closed tightly. The silence grew deeper, still comfortable, it was cute. If you had the chance, you would kiss him before that, before it got too cute. "I'm sorry," he said, not sounding regretful, just reluctant due to your brief absence.

You laughed, not saying anything, but it was enough for him to understand that everything was okay.

"Are you sad?"

[kira-the-whump-enthusiast]

omg i saw you reblogged that one post about villains who love too much and tagged is as an oc named,,, alesky, i think? (This ask box is blocking the character name so apologies if i spelled it wrong), I am Intrigued and would love to know more about them

Sorry it took me so long to get to this ask!! Tysm for it btw I died of excitement when I saw this in my inbox!! And yes, that’s Aleksy!

Here are some picrews of them :D

And here’s some art my lovely and amazing friend made of them <3

Their full name is Aleksy Annora, and I made them like a year ago after I read “The Man Who Loved Flowers” by Steven King.

Some content warnings before the rant: domestic abuse, serial murder, a lot of angst, attempted murder, execution, attempted suicide, implied major character death, probably some more stuff

Aleksy is just a totally normal barista in a popular coffee shop, of course. There is no angst or tragedy or murder in their backstory, not at all.

Well who am I kidding lol. Pretty much their main concept is that they are a Serial Killer For Love™ cuz goddd I love that trope. Tho I wouldn’t really call Aleksy any sort of yandere. They share some of the aesthetic tho!

The thing about Aleksy is that they fall in love all the time, but at the same time love is the thing that scares them most.

To them, the easiest way out was to end their boyfriend’s life. So they took a pair of scissors, sharpened them to a point, and stabbed their boyfriend to death. Immediately afterwards they fled the country and changed their name to what it currently is, Aleksy.

To them, the easiest way out was to end their boyfriend’s life. So they took a pair of scissors, sharpened them to a point, and stabbed their boyfriend to death. Immediately afterwards they fled the country and changed their name to what it currently is, Aleksy.

To them, the easiest way out was to end their boyfriend’s life. So they took a pair of scissors, sharpened them to a point, and stabbed their boyfriend to death. Immediately afterwards they fled the country and changed their name to what it currently is, Aleksy.

And that’s how they ended up the city they live in currently! Aleksy wanted to just live a typical life, completely separate themself from all trauma they lived through, but that was not how things would go.

Aleksy is constantly falling in love. And normally, this wouldn’t really be that bad, but Aleksy is both obsessive and utterly terrified of everything that love means.

They fall head over heels, and they also do it really unhealthily. Like, they stalk their crushes, try to learn every single little detail about them, but they also will never talk to any one of them. (That’s how they justify it as okay in their head. And it’s not like it would be a good idea to ever pursue a relationship. Aleksy is too imperfect for that.)

And for a while, they’re happy, their crush seems perfect in every way, and maybe this time they’ll even build up the confidence to actually say hi. And then cracks start to show in the perfect idealized version of their crush that Aleksy has built in their head, and they become scared.

Scared that if they let themself be vulnerable around this person, then they’ll be hurt. Scared that any minor imperfection could point to a much deeper flaw, one that could end up hurting them in so many different and horrible ways. And then the obsession that fed them happiness becomes something incredibly distressing. They don’t want to feel like this, they don’t want to think about this person, and they’re absolutely terrified of losing the little control they have over their life.

So Aleksy always ends up grabbing the sharpened scissors they never discarded, and stabbing their love in the throat in the dark streets of the city at night.

It’s the only way they know how to end it. When their crush is dead, Aleksy can safely put them out of their mind. The dead never hurt anybody, after all.

And this has happened multiple times. They’re a wanted serial killer, but also, no one knows that they’re the culprit. The police are very slow in solving any sort of case, even the serial murders get put on long holds. Aleksy has managed to get away with their murders for this reason.

Until, they meet Juno Líming. Juno is investigating the serial murders that Aleksy has committed, because her brother, Kyu, was one of the victims. She asks Aleksy some questions, not knowing that they were the one that killed her brother. Aleksy isn’t aware that she’s Kyu’s sister.

And then they end up becoming friends! Juno is pretty much Aleksy’s first friend, actually. Most of their life they weren’t allowed to make friends in any meaningful way, and even after they escaped that, they didn’t really have any sort of drive to make friends. But because Juno is pretty much consistently visiting them for investigation reasons, the two end up getting to know each other :D

Aleksy finally has a healthy relationship! They don’t become any sort of obsessed with Juno, and Juno knows how to like. Make friendship. They do some wholesome stuff together :)

And then I hit them with my comically large angst hammer! Because while Aleksy very much enjoys the friendship, Juno is also making a lot of progress in finding out how Aleksy committed their murders, and now she’s really close to figuring out who was behind it. And then Aleksy realizes that if Juno finds out that they’re the culprit, then they’ll never be friends again.

They end up totally panicking, and they get a little messy in hiding the evidence. And their slip-ups are enough to make Juno realize that her friend, the person who’s supported her through all her hard times and her investigation, is also the serial killer she’s been chasing all this time. And the same person who murdered her brother.

Aleksy tries to run after this, but Juno chases them and ends up cornering them! And Aleksy realizes that they’ll surely be caught now, that their only friend must hate them now, and that they can’t keep living this life but they don’t what else they can do.

They try to kill themself with their scissors, right then and there.

And they end up surviving, but not without a scar on their neck and some damage to their larynx.

They do end up being tried for their crimes, and well, now they’re on death row. Juno does end up visiting them a lot, tho. She can’t really reconcile her knowledge of Aleksy as a friend and confidant with the knowledge that Aleksy is a serial killer and murdered someone very close to her. So she kind of omits the latter from her head. Her impression of Aleksy as a friend is stronger. And she’s tired of losing people close to her, she won’t let anything like it happen again. If that means being Aleksy’s friend, then she will do that.

Aleksy doesn’t really understand why she still wants to be her friend, and they think the last thing they deserve is her friendship, but they’re happy for the company regardless.

[mysteriouswolf]

hello hello _o/

i know we’ve not interacted before but im moots with geode/lux and i saw your vent post. i dont wanna overstep any boundaries and please feel free to ignore/delete this if you want to! but as someone who went through something similar i wanted to offer some advice. anything could help, and i simply refuse to ignore when someone is hurting. if there’s anything i can do to ease your worries, i’ll try.

in school, i was a top student but i started to suffer severely from undiagnosed mdd, cptsd, autism, disordered eating, anxiety, and a terrible home life to top it off. like you, i didn’t wanna do it anymore. i almost felt like i couldn’t do it anymore, and every day was a struggle to get up.

but looking back (and im 24 now) im so happy that i kept fighting through each and every day. because i promise you it gets so much better once you’re on the other side of school. i know you must feel an insane amount of pressure and stress right now, but i promise you everything will turn out okay.

i was a straight a student my entire life. then everything tanked and i graduated with like a 2.4 gpa. but guess what? there’s nothing less important to me now. even if you feel like you’re failing, you can still go to college and chase your dreams. when i was figuring out college courses you know what my college advisor told me? she listened to how stressed and nervous i was about planning my whole career and future, she looked me dead in the eyes and said “it doesn’t matter what your gpa is, it doesn’t matter how long it takes you to get your degree. a job doesn’t care about those things, they only care that you have the degree. they don’t care if you’re 24 or 54. you can take all the time that you need.”

and that changed the course of my life, cause she was right. you don’t have to plan everything out, and you don’t need to rush through it all. hell, i realized that i didn’t want to go to college to become a pastry chef. instead i took my time, and ended up becoming a licensed senior pharmacy technician through other means. now im chasing my passions to be a writer and professional dungeon master.

this is a long way of saying that you aren’t alone. take it from someone who went through similar struggles; one day it won’t hurt so much, and you’ll have so much room to grow past your pain.

there are so many people who love you and would give what they can to help you. as they say, shared joy is twice the joy and shared sorrow is half the sorrow. don’t be afraid to reach out to them, or even me, for anything.

you’re allowed to slow down and take accommodations. you’re allowed to take as much time as you need. all that really matters is making sure you’re okay.

i hope you’re able to find at least a tiny amount of solace from my ramblings. and if not i apologize for the long read (whoops) have a lovely rest of your day <33

Affjakgkakga thank you <333 sorry it's taken me a bit to reply to this, I genuinely haven't had the energy lmao, but I just want you to know that just- knowing that practically some random internet stranger really cared about just like- the shit I was going through and cared about me really means a lot? Idk how to describe it well enough, but thank you <3333

Also, just a side note, I've read some of your stuff and it is genuinely incredible, I love it sm. You're really good at manipulating (in a good way) people's feelings with the way you write characters, and I bet that's done just as well in your DnD campaign, which is awesome :] I did not know that being a professional dungeon master was a thing, but that's really really cool, and tbh I would probably enjoy that so much lmao (I'm a dm with an inconsistent campaign with my friends right now)

Tysm for the ask and the advice <33333

[eluvion]

for the fic writer ask game: 3, 16, 23, 74, 76 (for hope is our four-letter word)? i hope that's not too many lol

love your writing! wishing you joy <3

hi!! this took like a million years so apologies on that!! ive been packing for and moving into college the past few days so i was a little busy but!!!! tysm for the ask love!!!! this did end up like mega long so i put my answers under the cut

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

usually, my fics really start as disconnected snippets in my notes app. i usually sort the notes by fandom, and at some point the snippets kind of amalgamate into something more tangible. then it gets shipped off into a google doc where i basically just work at it (on my computer or my phone) until i have a full fic/chapter. i usually write more emotional scenes on my phone, and it's just a Thing to do in between Real Life Things. then!! once im finished writing i read it over a billion times, read through the dialogue out loud to make sure it sounds natural, and then ask my beta (my beloved @izarie) to edit through. and then after THAT i post it!!

16. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

right now, i have two main ones that are just sort of revolving around my brain. there's my flinch from roy's pov ted lasso fic, because that made fic me so so sooo insane and sometimes i just cant stop thinking abt scenes where jamie is super inside his own head and what roy is Thinking Abt during that time. here's a bit of that:

Roy wonders, not for the first time, how he kicked Jamie out at the beginning of all this. Jamie had that look on his face—even while he was making Jamie-like complaints and giving Roy shit—like he was going to cry. And Roy just threw his clothes back and forced him to call an Uber and watched him slump around himself from the window. Roy knows better than that. He was raised better than that.  So okay. Maybe Roy gets it, in that context. Jamie holds onto shit that hurts him on the off chance that it will hold him close. And as much as he fucking despises it, that puts him and James Tartt in the same category, that place in Jamie’s head where he keeps the people that could help but choose not to. Roy really doesn’t want to know how many people are in that box.

and a succession post-canon roman-centric fic! it will be like. a little bit ooc just by virtue of having a nice(r) ending because that's how succession Is but you know. this is what i call healing. here's a bit of that:

Kendall’s all teeth. “Fuck you. You're not better. You’ve—you’ve fucking imploded everything you’ve ever done.” “Yeah, ‘cause you're the fuckin’ picture of a success story.” Roman sinks deeper into his seat. Leans into the car window. “Real wolf of fucking Wall Street, getting fucked out of Daddy’s company because you couldn’t play act a real CEO.” Kendall’s hands twitch.  Roman smiles. “What are you gonna do? Hit me about it?”

and also like. forever in my brain is the elektra greek tragedy fic in which i have feelings abt my doomed by the narrative failwife <333

23. Best writing advice for other writers?

i think it was ve schwab who gave the metaphor of a creative well, and that for as much Stuff (art, music, podcasts books, ect) you put in, you get more out. i try to keep my media diet fairly diverse (not just kids shows or serialized tv or classic books, but more of a combination of it all. it really forces me to like. have to break barriers in my mind, as well as like!! keeping audience and tone and all that in my mind while i read/watch/listen.

74. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

it's hard for me to really place any of the hallmarks of my writing that are super super distinct but!! Time Things are my big tell. ive pretty much always been obsessed with time and like these days there isnt a fic im writing without a big Looking Back component to it. salt pillars and vonnegut and orpheus and lot's wife. iykyk <33

76. Did you have any ideas that didn’t make the final cut of hope is our four-letter word?

i actually do have an extras doc!! it has some yosano and dazai hurt/comfort that i tried v hard to fit into the fic but just didnt fit into the narrative i was telling. here's a snippet of that (usual warnings for dazai-typical suicide attempts):

It’s Yosano that finds him, shivering in the crimson water, watching the blood seep out from his arms.  Yosano opens the door, and she’s more calm than she usually is. She’s a good doctor, infinitely better than Mori, and she knows how much her usual bedside manner would send him spiraling. She eases him out of the water quietly, and gives him a towel.  “Dazai,” she says, stitching the cuts lining his arms. “It wouldn’t have killed me,” he says. “It just nicked a vein.”  She wipes the blood and water away and begins wrapping his usual bandages around his arms. There’s something cold and horrible in him, spreading from his stomach to his bones to every inch of his skin. He wants to rip it all apart, until that emptiness is torn bloody from the rest of him, and that thing, that pain made from scalpel edges and sharper smiles, with all its hooks and too-sweet whispers, to be burned from him, even if it means dying. Especially if it means dying.  Yosano scowls. “Not yet. Dazai…” She doesn’t call him by his first name, because the first time she tried that, when he was in high school and just out of court, he had run, hearing what he always heard at the sound of his first name. Yosano is smart; she learns quickly, and she had found him huddled on a roof and smiled crookedly, offering a hand. 

there was also a chuuya and dazai hurt/comfort scene, kind of loosely based off of the scene intimitopia wrote in the light that the fire would bring chapter 5 where dazai has a panic attack (unintentionally) triggered by poe describing a bloody scene. this is before chuuya and dazai are really close, but chuuya sees dazai leave the room and follows him to the bathroom "to give him back his bag". it was also just one of those scenes that didnt have a place in the final cut and kind of opened a plotline that distracted from the main ones. it also felt a bit too plagiarismy to nick the concept straight from someone else's fic, especially someone in the fandom that i really admire.

i also found this snippet in the extras doc, which i think?? i was going to end with but i couldnt find a natural way to put it in:

“It will get better,” Chuuya decides on, and even though it’s the truth, it’s a shitty truth. He knows how much he hated it when he was a teenager, his whole life in a bag as he traveled from house to house to home. He says it anyway, because there really isn’t anything else he can say, and even if it’s hackneyed, it’s something. “It won’t,” Dazai says predictably. “It doesn’t.” “I didn’t say good,” Chuuya says. “Maybe it’ll never be good. It happens. But it’ll get better.” Dazai sounds doubtful. “It’ll get worse, too.” “Yeah,” Chuuya says, and he reaches for Dazai’s hand, “but that’s when you hold onto the better moments.” Dazai’s hand is always cold, like a reptile, a snake that stayed out of its burrow in the winter and turned icy. Chuuya lets his body heat warm Dazai’s hand, lets it twitch back to something resembling life.  “This is a better moment,” Dazai whispers, and Chuuya isn’t sure if he even meant to say it. Chuuya squeezes Dazai’s hand. “It is.”

i never did get to writing it, and by design the fic doesnt include dazai's backstory. it's a combination of him not being in a place where he wants to tell it to anyone, chuuya not wanting to have to be the person to ask, and yosano and ranpo both knowing that it's not their story to tell. the basics are that dazai was carted around as a half-hostage half-protege of mori's through his childhood. mori was a fairly well known serial killer at the time, and, similar to canon, oda is in the crime world but starting to get out of it. he becomes a very bright spot in dazai's life, being the one person that cared about dazai (in a non-fucked up manipulative way). ango was undercover and ranpo was one of the detectives working the case to get dazai out and mori behind bars. they do eventually, but like canon, not without oda dying. yosano, having been under mori's control in a similar way some years ago, helps them find dazai and eventually legally adopts him. they have their growing pains, and dazai basically becomes a shut-in all throughout high school, but that gets him to where he is at the time of the fic.

i doooo have like. specific ages written down for all of these events somewhere (probably in a notebook) but i dont really remember where

[amee-racle-ofmyown]

*sneaks into your asks* ok I’ve been having such bad SE brainrot, I just want to sit in his lap and play with his hair in silence as he grows sleepy. He looks so nice to nap with ;;; and his hair is so *grabby hands*

Oh no need to sneak in, bestie, the window door is wide open

fluffy tomato… soft,,,🥰

SE Saeran x gender neutral reader | Words: 809

It was quiet. A comfortable, peaceful silence had filled the air that day. Perhaps a little uncharacteristic for at least half of the occupants of this household, but it was… nice.

Saeran was a tired person, exhausted in every sense, and at times he would only have the energy to do little more than gaze at the sky with a faraway look in his eyes — mint eyes that no longer constantly bore such a sharp, saturated intensity but had seemingly faded to a watery blue-green that reminded you of the ocean.

One of the best aspects of this new home was the plethora of windows in comparison to the dark bunker underground. It had been your idea to position a sofa facing a particularly large one, and it warmed your heart to see him sitting here, tiny smile on his lips, blanket draped over his shoulders, watching the clouds lazily traverse the cool, light slate blue of the sky. A dim, white light spilled into the otherwise unlit room.

You noticed the lightest pattering on the glass and the ground outside; it was one of those wet autumn days where the sunlight barely peeked out from behind the cloud-filled sky and the grass and the earth was alive and the trees were truly breathing and the flowers outside each window frame looked rejuvenated, covered in gleaming pearls. There was a slight chill sneaking through the closed windows, hence the blanket (he was always cold), but you didn't mind and he didn't seem to either. If anything, it was refreshing.

You gazed at the man with a fond smile. You couldn't help but note how cosy he looked.

Slowly, not wanting to interrupt the quiet atmosphere, you paced across the room to stand directly behind him. He didn't respond but you knew he'd heard you. He always did. You placed one hand gently on his shoulder, feeling him tense slightly before immediately relaxing into your touch, knowing it was you. You moved your hand to rest in his vivid curls, and when he didn't resist, you took to combing your fingers through them, careful not to let them tangle too much.

His hair had always been a striking feature (strikingly beautiful), along with his eyes (piercing your soul), but over time it had grown out, healthy and red and so satisfyingly soft.

At first, he'd been far too exhausted to keep dyeing it as he had done in the past. That and in those earlier times, his brother was far too paranoid to let anything remotely, potentially dangerous into Saeran's vicinity (and for good reason, you had thought sadly).

Now, he keeps it this way by choice, because he likes how it feels. And even more, because you like it and he loves how it makes him feel when you pet and play with it, though he never admits this out loud.

He sighed contentedly as you stroked his soft locks and you could imagine the peaceful look on his face. He only turned his head to look at you when you unraveled your fingers from his hair to circle around the side of the couch, taking a seat by his side.

You nudged against him and tenderly placed the back of your hand on his knee, meeting his gaze. His eyes seemed to soften further as he gave you a small nod, as if knowing exactly what you wanted, and you carefully climbed into his lap. He wrapped his arms and the folds of the large blanket around your frame, huddling you closer to his body, craving your warmth. You happily snuggled into his chest, swinging your legs onto the sofa and placing your feet by his side under the blanket. He was wearing a thick, knitted sweater and he smelled like autumn air.

He leaned his head down slightly and you returned one hand to his hair, feeling his breath on your wrist and the slow movements of his chest. It made you happy to know that your presence relaxed him so much, having met him as someone who was on high alert most of the time. The feeling was mutual, though he never understood why someone like him would make you feel safe and calm, like you did for him.

Nowadays there was ample opportunity to allow yourself to be vulnerable in his space, to remind him that he was not only loved but trusted. It confused him still, even after all this time, but he welcomed the feelings that came with knowing this.

No words were spoken, but you don't need them. Slowly but surely, his eyelids grew heavy and he fell asleep, secure in the feeling of holding onto you. You are his sanctuary and he is yours. You feel the weight of drowsiness, and soon you too are sleeping soundly in his embrace.

[ohvu]

chapter six — smack him for me

word count. 564 warnings. hitting someone notes. italics (thoughts) proof read done by @lunarxsun tysm bae 🫶

Okay, you were being dramatic. The meeting went well as Xiaoting and Mashiro, who came with, expected.

The final broadcast felt like a breeze for you to wrap your head around the weight of responsibility and pressure. Today, it finally sinked in.

The meeting ended with some positive remarks that added a new weight of burden.

You finally left the room with new thoughts in mind. Forgetting the fact that Mashiro and Xiaoting, who were waiting for you, are just a couple buildings nearby. Hoping to clear your mind a bit, you opt to visit the rooftop before heading down to the cafeteria.

You stride through the black hallways, checking your phone while you're at it. That was a bad idea, with you bumping into a person. Yet again.

deja vu.

"Ah, I'm sorry"

"Oh it's all good"

Meeting their eye, you recognize him as Park Sunghoon. He was holding phone turned ON alongside a plastic bag filled with snacks and energy drinks. Guessing he was on his way to practice practice room with his members bombarding his phone, you realize you look like were checking him out.

How embarrassing.

"ehem. Sorry, i didn't mean to stare." well that felt awkward.

You miss your members. Thinking about them made you realize the members who were waiting for you a couple buildings away.

Freezing at the thought, you forgot there was a person in front you.

Sunghoon, who later realized, the person that bumped into him was you - LN YN. Their topic recently.

"hey, are you LN YN?"

Snapping out from the daze you were in with a single question, you answered yes.

"Well, we watched your drunk-dazed performance. You did great"

"Oh. thank you sunbaenim"

Surprised with the praise, it was interrupted when your phone rang. Remembering the members that were with, you answered the phone. Saying you were done and you would talk to them about it later. The call ended with them telling they'll text you when they're down at the lobby and Hiyyih's tweet earlier resurfacing your mind.

With your phone out of the way, you're surprised to see Sunghoon still there with him scrolling through his phone.

"Ah, sunbaenim!"

"I guess you're supposed to be leaving now, it's nice to meet you"

Nodding, you thought about Hiyyih's tweet. Hitting him (lightly) for him to relay it huening kai (lightly) would be alright, yeah?

You debated on whether to embarrass yourself or just leave it be but you've come to choose the former that you'd come regret later on.

"Uh sunbaenim, sorry for this"

And with that, you lightly smacked his arm. With a quick apology and explanation, you blurted out a "I'm sorry for suddenly hitting you. It was supposed to be for Huening Kai sunbaenim as his sister told me to do that if i do see him. But since he's not here and you're here, I smacked you so you could relay it to him...."

Silence was met when you blurted that out. Just in time, your phone dinged, indicating Xiaoting and Mashiro arrived downstairs. Doing out a quick bow and muttering a goodbye, you walked away fast not bothering to look back.

mstrlst | prev — next

SYNOPSIS. debuting was a dream of yours, the problem was pledis doesn't have any plans on debuting a girl group soon. joining a survival show was your last chance, thus, you took it in hopes of debuting. now that you’ve achieved it, you promised yourself to not let anything hinder you while promoting. fate, however, had other plans. bumping into your senior slash label mates was a normal occurrence, but being them interested in a junior slash label mate wasn't. oh, how fate wanted to spice things up.

msg. hi I'm alive and well 😄 sorry for this long over due chapter but i keep on getting writer's block whenever I write this chapter ugh . anyw, now that's out . tysm for waiting 😭 I'll start posting the week onwards so yes im back !!! reblogs and feedbacks r appreciated

taglist. @ikasaeki @wony6ung @pitchblacksmile @yenart @lunaflvms @1-800-lixie @enloveclub @strawbrinkofdeath @rich-man-v @moon-lys @prettywon @luvarots @mitsukifilms @soobcheek @keewho @jjhmk @yyunari @bigtoewinwin @nshrkilvbot @arizejkt19 @odxrilove @jeongyeonsluvbot @luvrseung @rutowonz @enhacolor @scoups-of-sugar @myluckycat @an-aesthetic-fangirl @certainyouthpeanut @strwberrydinosaur @hiqhkey @scarletxoxo200 @cyuuupid @revemixer @chaseyui @bubblejunnies @afiaaaa19 @a-noona-mous @enhasengene @leikoffe @articxari @mfalsjaem @ahneyong @90sni-ki @jiawji @nomniki @injeolmiin @sunooslayes @katiecheri @rjsmochii @rainbowsunchild @darrensos @igotkpoops @xrubyrosesx @patat-boi @akqshie (send an ask to be added ! bolded cannot be tagged + lmk if u want to be removed)

© ohvu. all rights reserved

[ao3feed-piltovers-finest]

Hi! A while ago you made a post with some great Violyn recs, and I bookmarked and went through and loved all of them, but I didn’t do the same with some that were in progress, so could you link them again? And then also, do you have some new recs? :)) There’s so much stuff out there right now and it’s a bit hard to sift, so unbiased suggestion for something interesting and well written would be much appreciated. I don’t really care about the length as long as it’s good, in character and hopefully canon compliant? Or anything else that stands out, really. As for ratings everything is a go, just a big NO to abo (even if we put noncon issue aside, sorry but there’s only a limited amount of blowj*bs I can take in my basic lesbian p*rn, lol) or gross monster stuff unfortunately abundant these days. Also, nothing wrong with WIPs but preferably finished stories? And TYSM. For what you’re doing there, and for all the recs, past and present! <3

Hey there! :)

First of all, thank you for your kind words, and second - apologies for a relatively tardy reply (also, if you sent this message twice by mistake, the reply's to the greyface one - in case you wanted to retain anonymity, if that's okay?) since it took a bit to compile appropriate thoughts and words for a decent response. But since below the cut you'll be able to find not only links but also (unsolicited? :) reviews, I hope it'll at least give you enough of a fix - for a while?

:)

Now, let's start with...

That post, that I think you can still find under 'fic recs' section on the main page, there were two WIPs there, if I recall? One of them is still a fun read (the unpretentious, fun AU one that I think I tagged as my 'guilty pleasure' at the time?) and the other, well - despite having a really intense beginning it got convoluted and overly watered down half-way, and lost me. (So, no more recommending WIPs, yes - check. Lol.) But to answer your other question - in the meantime I read, loved, and would wholeheartedly recommend... hmm. Ok, since you basically gave me free range apart from the omgaverse (for which - no worries, I don't care for it either, I've seen dozens of them passing over this page, but only one well-written, with an actual interesting plot and character dynamics - but a WIP, so we might go back to that one at some later point? ;) the ONLY criteria now I guess would be...

The works of some new and/or underrated authors? How's that, to fulfill the primary intent of this blog, which is to promote and/or send appreciation to those who really truly deserve it?

So, yeah. In no particular order, here are some of my recent faves:

Digging Like You Can Bury Something That Cannot Die series by shoutoutout

@shoutoutout

Canon compliant, a study on guilt, loss and acceptance. A truly gripping study, a recontextualization if you will (expanding the context span, filling in gaps) with emphasis on that residual emptiness that one never truly accepts, just learns how to live with. The way in which Vi is given facing, then coping with all of it in such a simply human, fight or flight way - is incredibly relatable. While the first part written from Cait's perspective gives a unique insight into her upbringing, her heritage, her relationship with her mother (which, perhaps it's just me - but I love seeing it explored beyond what we've seen onscreen, especially with that last scene, where it's evident that no matter how much she disagrees with her mum she still looks to her for comfort when she is despair) and then of course - grief flooded with regret. Really masterfully written.

Grenadier by antistar_e (kaikamahine)

@kaikamahine

Set post-finale, this is basically a character dynamics piece, written from Vi's perspective. It's a gentle, at times funny and yet gritty and profound exploration of regret, mourning and unhealthy coping mechanisms - on everyone's behalf, with developments between Vi, Cait and Jinx (yes, all three of them - but don't let this deter you just because Jinx has absolutely no boundaries ;) this is uniquely beautiful portrayal of sisterly relationship. The simple way Vi explains her love for Jinx will break your heart, because she loves her despite everything, the guilt, lack of remorse - it's the love that doesn't preclude justice or exempt her from consequences, but just grows, adapts, restitches its seams. It has elements of romantic developments (in different directions?) but the central part is the sisters, and to be completely frank it's the best fic I've ever read exploring these dynamics, post finale. Both characterisation as well as style wise.

Drink from the Cup of Fortune by xanthinriff

@xanthinriff

'Does happiness bloom from the soil of pain, or is pain a byproduct of happiness lost?' If you've ever read anything else written by this author, you'll know that their writing simply cannot be summarized, objectively or rationally. And this one is not an exception, it is post finale, post everything and beyond, and it gives us Vi's perspective on - grief, guilt, need to belong, the feeling of loss, helplessness, selfishness, mental self-flagellation... gosh, I've said it before and I'll say it again, xanthinriff has a uniquely, gut-wrenching writing style that packs a punch - undaunted to tackle even the most complex, or darkest of emotions so it's definitely not for those who want a sappy, trite emotional lemonade. But rather real raw human emotions, such as... well, those listed above?

Now, the author has deleted their A03 account for personal reasons, but this specific work is still available per request, exclusively here (author's prerogative, of course) so if what you read there got you intrigued - send us a DM and we shall deliver.

(This is also valid for some of their other work, previously referenced and recommended on this page)

sweet & bitter by garcondencre

@garcondencre

Canon compliant. An exploration of what happened between the moment Caitlyn and Vi found themselves alone in Cait's bedroom and the moment they left each other in the rain. A beautifully heartfelt character study, a train of thought from Vi's perspective, if you will. Characterization is spot on, emotions are intense and tangible, and the inner conflict fleshed out so viscerally, painfully well.

The Power of a Name by kendricked

@caitkirammans

One of those 'five times' prompts, written from Caitlyn's perspective. A very interesting take on how she viewed things that happened, and then those that [spoiler]. It contains some missing bits, or interludes, if you will. They speaks volumes on Caitlyn herself, seamlessly showing that cross between that naivetee and genuine selflessness - and also how she saw, and sees Vi. Emotional intensification written and depicted at its best.

keep your head low by espressbian

@espressbian

Canon compliant. An amazing dive into Caitlyn's mind (ok, I guess Vi’s as well - in the second chapter?) showing us their respective perspectives on things that happened - through this very skillfully written inner dialogue, depicting the inner workings of both of their minds, but especially Caitlyn's... I found it gripping, touching and impressively intense all at the same time.

no powder but stardust by softnyx

(tumblr unknown - let us know, if you do?)

I think I already mentioned this one? It's a one-shot, but is contained of eight episodes with time gaps, featuring snippets of scenes from different, not-so-random periods. Starts with that beautiful childish pure innocence and veers off into... well, two diverse worlds, a canon divergence AU (star-crossed lovers of sorts, comes to mind) that grows close to the one of game canon-world? The characterisation is endearingly tangible and wholesome, and it is absolutely amazing what a skillful author can do in such little space and with so few words.

Wrap ya gun in giftwrap by Latenightsgunfights

@latenightsgunfights

This is quite a short piece, basically just smutty. Why on this list, you might wonder? Well, the way it shows Vi struggling between how she sees herself, the subtly shown conflict between the tough front and bravado and how she feels about herself in regards to Caitlyn, how it manifests in their physical connection - the implication how certain feelings can be put into submission... it's quite a lot (yeah, no one's immune to hot smutty ones, but I prefer them with some substance, alright? ;) for a short piece with barely 1k of a wordcount.

Chances by mira_blue

@mira-blue

To be completely honest, this is not really CaitVi (they're just acknowledged in the passing) but rather a canon-compliant take on Vi's complicated relationship with her sister, post S1. (Yeah, I've been kinda leaning towards those, recently - can you tell? :) Pieces like this, exploring this kind of dynamics of theirs are quite rare, and this one may seem like just a drabble - but try to get into Jinx's fragmented stream of consciousness. It's uncomfortable, realistic and tangible, all at once. I've seen very few well-written ones and this one is my absolute favourite one.

Shadow of Nothing by UmbreonGurl

@umbreongurl

Quite sure you've read some of the other works of this author as well, but this one is a bit different from all of their other (AU? fluffy? comedy? romcom?) work, and a bit underrated in my opinion. In a span of a single chapter it covers literally everything, from the prison break till post finale - while at the same time being a character study of Cait. It's simple, unpretentious, with effective time lapses, and an interestingly different, more realistic view of Vi - as it makes more sense that she'd be more distrustful, standoffish and defensive to start with in the beginning. But it's a quite fresh and intimate take on Cait, and it's not that angsty (like the rest of the stuff from this list), so...

Dust Collected OnMy Pinned-Up Hair by tailoredjade

@tailoredjade

Ok, there are so many high-school AUs out there, but there's just that something about the pacing of this one. It covers a longer timespan, with smaller/larger gaps and ellipses, but the way it captures the yearning and pining is incredibly palpable. It's friends-to-lovers, but in a way also a compelling character piece that captures Cat's inner workings (exasperation? anxiety?) rather well. Quite interestingly written (in terms of sentence structure, or how it follows the character's thought-process) it's a fittingly positive one, for the end of this list?

:)

Aaand - that'd be all.

As always, if you enjoy any of these (and even if they're not really new for you - and you already had, lol) go drop these lovely people out there a positive note, some appreciation and encouragement - and then let us know as well.

Cheers! 🌈💖

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 8 of ?)

gif by @thesoldiersminute can i send you a cake or something cause fuCk!!!!!!!!!!! he's beautiful

a/n: to everyone still reading this fic, my sweet angels, ily!! this fic is so near and dear to my heart and @stxdyblr-2k has just done such an amazing job with it i can't even thank her enough. as per the last part, this one is also mostly her, just me editing but i hope you guys love it as much as i did!!! don't worry, there's gonna be a lot more :) and i apologize for being not as active, i'm gonna try to get a couple of requests up that i'm really excited about this week tysm for being patient with me <3

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five six seven | my masterlist

prompt: ada has some talking to do, and you're not about to deny her.

warnings: fluff, semi-angst, tommy being the cocky mf he is (let's be real, it's only acceptable cause he's so damn fine), john being cute and in love and jesus i am head over heels

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03, @operation-spot

You had planned to go to Ada's after work, but she obviously had other ideas. She didn't even bother walking in and asking to speak to you; instead, choosing to bang on the window closest to your desk and yelling at you to "fucking hurry up!" Your boss opened the door for you expectantly, not offering you any protection; he was firmly in the Shelby's ever growing pocket and as long as he could go home to his children, his sickly wife and their six bed in the country, with a full time nurse and nanny, he had no interest in crossing Thomas.

"Ada, I was coming to see you after work, I swear."

"I know. I was going to let you but..." She trailed off. "We need to talk. I don't know what the fuck is going on with you. John said he'd seen you last night and you asked after me."

John had indeed seen you last night. It was strange waking up with him, used to leaving almost immediately after he was finished with you. Your small bed could barely comfortably fit you both, having to intertwine your limbs with John's to not fall off the edge. You had awoken to John pressing a kiss to your forehead before lazily trailing his fingers between your legs, waiting for you to open your eyes before settling between your thighs, tongue swirling around your clit, making you cum before sunrise.

"Do we have to do this in the street?" You practically begged, the shouting having attracted onlookers.

"I wanted to talk to you before anyone else in the family gets to you because I need you to be honest."

"Ada-"

"No, I'm doing you a favour here, so you fucking listen. Right now, between you and I, no bullshit. No tactics. No white lies. You have to tell me exactly what we're dealing with." She looked frantic, scared for some reason.

You nodded, walking her down the side street, careful not to link arms with her. You knew she was doing you a favour; this wasn't about forgiveness or friendship, much more was at stake here.

"To what extent was Thomas involved?"

That took you off guard. Ada read the confusion on your face and sighed impatiently, her subtle plea for you to keep up.

Shit. You remembered your conversation with John, how she thought this was her brother's way of pushing her out of the company.

"Don't spare my feelings. What did my brother say to you?"

"He said it was in our mutual interest that you didn't find out. He didn't care who John slept with but cared who you trusted so I had to trust him. He said there was no point in upsetting you over one of John's conquests who he'd tire of in a month."

"That all?"

"Pretty much, I didn't know Arthur knew. He never talked to me about it, did laugh at Thomas' digs now that I think on it-"

"Did you know Isaiah and Michael knew?"

"I thought they were aware but no one ever talked to me about it."

"Of course they wouldn't." She hissed, frustration causing a nerve on her neck to jump.

Ada and you had spoken for years about the rampant misogyny of her brothers and any men you two came into contact with. Although you were both far more reserved than you used to be as rebellious and adventurous thirteen year olds, you'd both grew increasingly angry at how you were treated. She'd long written off her brothers as womanisers, who saw women as purely sexual and entertaining, objectifying them. You both long despised how they dehumanised women. She was amazed that Thomas had attempted to settle down and managed a somewhat loving marriage, but resented him for his carelessness and need for power which inevitably killed his wife.

"Ada, I just want to say..." You licked your lip nervously, unsure of how to continue.

"You need to talk, Y/N. No bollocks."

"Before last night, he'd never been to mine or called. I always went to him."

The muscle in her jaw tensed.

"You slept with him last night then?" You met her question with silence and she rolled her eyes. "The second he said he saw you I knew you had, he wanted to tell me that he was going to continue seeing you and that he hoped I'd be able to accept it one day."

"We never intended to hurt you. It was meant to be fun at first, but now..." You cut yourself off with a sigh, unable to admit you'd fallen for her brother.

"Isn't fun for me. It's fucking embarrassing." She paused, lighting a cigarette, nervous to offer you one, conflicted within herself. She raised her eyebrow, prompting you to continue, the mannerism so similar to her brother’s.

"It should never have happened. I am never going to be able to fix this, I'm so fucking ashamed for doing this to you, Ada."

She sulked, silently drinking in your words.

"Obviously it's not going to be the same, yeah? I'm really fucking upset. I'm so fucked off with you but Poll's really worried about a coup. She thinks you're being used as blackmail against John to keep him on side with Tommy while he expands."

"Makes sense."

"You're part of a much bigger game, you know?"

You nodded. "Yeah, and I knew I would lose from the start. Fucking tragic, Ada."

"My brothers keep pushing, keep growing the business. They keep chasing this prize but I don't think it even exists."

"If it does, it isn't worth it if this shit is the cost. I didn't mean to play into his hands."

"You couldn't have known." She said with a shrug, " 'Siah thinks John loves you."

"He told me last night." Several times, this morning also. You would never tire of hearing him moan those words into your neck or being yelled from your front door as he left for the office.

"You love him, don't you?" She said bluntly, a statement more than a question, your face suddenly hot with embarrassment.

Everything you'd suppressed for months, everything that you'd hidden, every time you lied smiling, every knowing glance from a stranger, every degrading comment from under Thomas' breath.

"I do, an awful lot."

She pauses, relighting her cigarette, "The worst thing about the entire situation is it could've been fine if someone told me. I wouldn't have loved it, obviously, but-" Ada sighed, rubbing her temple with her free fingers.

"I thought you'd hate me."

"How could I? I'd be more angry that you'd drop your standards for my brother. Seriously? Him? Mate…."

"Come off it, I've always thought he was charming. He's funny, smart-"

"Don't gush over my brother, it's grim. I'm just so fucked off you all lied to me." She peered at you through her cigarette smoke. "If you love him and he loves you..." she pressed her lips together as she tensed her jaw, "I could get over it. If it'd make you both happy. But that's going to take a long time. A long time."

"Ada-"

"Look I have meetings and shit to sort, I have to run." She interjected, checking her wristwatch, adjusting the cap which sat atop her trendy short haircut. You caught her arm before she could turn away.

"Thank you. For understanding."

She shrugged you off, "I don't get it, I'd never do that to you. But you also don't get to choose who you're attracted to. I'm really hurt, but I do love you and John a lot. He mentioned that after last night you helped him, got him cleaned up. I have to believe that you both do love each other. So I have to believe that this is a good idea for you both and not stand in your way."

"I love you, Ada. Can we hang out soon, just us two?"

She shook her head. "I need some time, I'll be in touch, yeah?"

You nod, stretching out your pinky finger. She sighed and linked it with hers, as you'd done since you were children, a silent signal to each other after a fight that you still had the other's back.

"Right, I've got to get back to this meeting, Tom is getting done by Polly for nearly getting John killed. I need to be there in case one of the lads needs patching up."

"Your aunt has a nasty left hook, I'll give her that."

"She'll be pleased you think so, she wanted Tommy to slice you to bits for crossing me."

"Fuck’s sake, thanks for the warning, I'll keep my head down. Good luck with the meeting."

Ada nodded and you watched her walk away, a Blinder suddenly appearing by her side seemingly from nowhere. This city was crawling with them. They clambered into Ada's car as you watched the car disappear into the distance before walking back to work. Thankfully, with your head still attached to your shoulders.

*******

Ada arrived at Thomas' estate, following the swell of shouting voices to his exquisite library. It was eye roll worthy and typical Tommy to choose the location of his post-fuckup debrief to be where he had the best view of the gardens, river and rolling hills. She could bet he'd sit in a corner and stare at the view, zoning out their aunt's lecture.

An armed blinder she vaguely recognised opened the door. Thomas was making a statement today with the armed guards, she noted. Her brothers really were fucked up. Arthur was an alcoholic killer who couldn't understand that Thomas would betray them all eventually, Finn was letting the tokyo and the razor chasers that circled him distract him from keeping the family together, John was apparently in love with her best friend, and finally, Thomas nearly got Arthur and John murdered last night with his foolishness. At this point only herself and Polly were holding everyone together, keeping everything silently moving along.

The door opened, and she was the last to arrive, Polly glaring as she murmured an apology, standing next to Finn. His eyes were bloodshot, grey-purple smudges under his eyes, he'd obviously had a heavy night. The last thing the poor lad needed was Polly's shrill yelling and the blinding sun streaming through the large immaculately crafted windows, which he'd tried to block with the brim of his cap. John caught her eye, acknowledging his sister with a nod, which she returned with a small tight smile.

Ada couldn't bear to think about the reasoning behind her brother's smug interjections in between Polly's rant to Thomas who was listening wordlessly, smoking.

Y/N and John? It didn't make sense. They had a similar sense of humour, sure, but she was far too intelligent for him. He also had a swarm of children, while Y/N preferred a wild night out only staggering home at daybreak.

It made far more sense for Y/N to end up with Michael, or if it had to be a brother, Finn. They were younger, so had less responsibilities and commitments so they could keep up with her. But John? Of course she knew he was believed to be the Casanova of her brothers, he was kind, he was an excellent father, yet he could never keep anyone around long, usually John was chasing someone new after a month or so. That's why the revelation that John had been involved with her best friend for almost half a year had taken her completely by surprise. Maybe that was why she was open to them being together. That had to be it. This relationship was completely out of character for John; she needed to believe that he was serious about his feelings towards Y/N and wasn't going to fuck her over. Because if he did, John would be a dead man.

"I don't know why you're all bleating at me. Yeah, I overlooked some details in the planning of last night's meeting-"

"Such as warning us that they were really fucked off because you'd helped bomb their warehouse." John pointed out.

"What do you want me to do? Apologise? Grow up, John." Tommy snapped back.

"They had loaded guns against their heads, they deserve an apology." Ada interjected, John giving her an appreciative flash of smile. She did love her big brother. Despite the fact that she'd pretty much only been yelling at him for the past month, John never dismissed her feelings and only apologised. It was confusing to admit to herself, but when Isaiah told her that he was confident John loved Y/N, she felt a wave of relief. At least he cared about her; it was the bare minimum but the Shelbys were notorious for not even meeting the bare minimum for acceptable social interactions.

"They didn't fuckin’ get shot." Thomas stated, his voice matter of fact and condescending.

"Do you ever hear yourself speak?" Polly spit back at him. "They didn't get shot this time. But it was too fucking close."

"It won't happen again, Polly." Tommy sighed. "What else can I say? Sorry lads, take the weekend off?"

"It's a good start." Arthur countered, "You're also paying for the extension on my house and my wedding."

"Fuck’s sake Arthur I was joking. But fine. Sure."

"You can't buy your family off." Polly scoffed at him.

"Think of it as compensation, a settlement." Thomas coolly corrected his aunt. "What do you want, John? A fucking farm?"

John hesitates while Finn whispered suggestions to him, Ada meeting his stare, John raising a brow to her in question. She sighed and nodded her approval.

"You can pay off my mortgage Tom, give me the kids' birthdays off-"

"So you'd never come into work then?" Finn cut in, Ada elbowing him in the ribs. She usually enjoyed Finn's remarks but she knew where John was heading; she could barely breathe.

"Tom, you're also to leave Y/N completely alone. If you have a problem with her, you come to me about it." He said firmly.

Arthur and Tommy traded knowing looks, obviously more aware of the ins and outs of his relationship than Ada was.

"Also if you're paying for Arthur's wedding I want the equivalent in cash." He adds.

Tommy shrugged. "Whatever. As long as we can move past last night and focus on today's order of business."

John nodded, satisfied. He knew Tom wouldn't care, but just saying out loud that he was involved with Y/N and having his family aware was a relief. He hadn't realised until he finally admitted how stressful keeping his relationship a secret was. Now, he could stop worrying about Tommy interfering.

Polly rolled her eyes, lecturing the brothers on their lack of moral backbone to allow themselves to be bought off, but dismissed them. She caught Ada's arm in hers on their way out, pulling her far from earshot.

"So Y/N and John are together now?" She asked, her face firm and scowling.

"Polls, I talked with her, she's aware of what she's done. She apologised and meant it. What more can I ask for?"

"Her not to have fucked him in the first place."

"She said that. Look, Polls, they're happy right? John seems happy-"

"He always is when he gets a leg over."

"You know she looked after him last night? Fixed him up after the meeting."

"Meeting? It was a fucking set up." Polly hissed but her face had softened. "She cleaned him up?"

"Antiseptic, bandages and all."

Polly looked subtly impressed, although she'd never admit it. "He went to hers? Not yours?"

"He wanted to talk to her." Ada shrugs, "I saw her this morning and-"

"What do you mean? You bumped into her?"

"I went to her work." Ada admitted, her aunt shooting her an exasperated glare.

"Why do I bother? Nobody listens to me."

"I had to talk to her, I'm glad I did. She reckons she loves him, he told her last night that he loves her, so..."

"We are talking about John? Our John?"

"I know Polls, I'm as amazed as you."

Her aunt huffed, unimpressed. "Are you okay with it though?"

"I guess, I just want them to be happy. I've told them to give me time with it."

"She was a good friend growing up, but people change, sometimes for the better, often for the worse."

"Poll, it's Y/N; she's my best friend. At the end of the day, we'd do anything for each other."

"Sweet Ada, you're going to be so miserable if you keep letting people walk all over you." Polly said wisely, kissing her goodbye affectionately. "I hope you're right. If she makes you cry again I'll kill her myself."

"Thanks, Polls."

She knew her aunt wasn't joking.

[yellowpeach]

my sweet yellowpeach! I think I might have missed you while I was doing the rounds sending the prompt to everybody (and sorry to anybody else I missed- the fexi hive list is quite long) so my apologies that you are possibly getting this so late!

since everyone was so great the last time around, I have another writing challenge! (again- no pressure if you don’t want to participate, but don't be afraid to post even if you aren't a fic writer :) write a blurb/share something you've already written about Lexi telling Fez she's pregnant....

tysm for the ask!! don't mind missing me lol, i'm not offended in the slightest <3

as much as i enjoy reading fexi having a family, i'm also super interested in exploring a future when they change their mind about kids. as a child-free 28 year old who once lusted after the idea of having kids, i now absolutely do not and i think it's fun to deviate away from the canon.

so read below the cut for a part of a fic idea i have where fexi reunite after years apart and talk about how different their lives and themselves are.

(tw for mentions of abortion and ash’s death)

The light in the living room was soft and golden, both from the lamps Lexi tended to favor, and the crackling fire in the fireplace. Fez was feeling pleasantly calm from his joint and the ease of conversation between him and Lexi. Ten years had done nothing to the way they could be so comfortable in each others company and how they could tell each other anything.

“I got pregnant, y’know. Two years ago. It was one of the catalysts for all of this,” she gestures to the room around them, “Made me realize that those dreams I had told you all about when we were kids was just.... not what I wanted anymore.”

“No shit.” Fez nods knowingly. Fuck, a lot had changed for him too in the last ten years. No wonder it had changed for her too.

“Yeah. It was with my ex, Ryan. We thought we were solid. We weren’t married or anything, and we certainly weren’t trying for me to get pregnant but it happened. Before I took the test, I knew I was feeling weird about it. I was so nauseated, but not from the pregnancy. I just knew I didn’t want to be pregnant. So when the positive showed, I threw up.” Lexi swirls her wine, thinking, before continuing.

“Ryan would have kept it, but he could tell I didn’t want it. So I got an abortion. I wasn’t far along, it was easy for me to manage but I knew he was upset. It was one of the first nails in the coffin for our relationship.”

Fez lets out a long drag from his joint, “So why d’you not want kids no more?”

Lexi sighs, “I just started looking at my future and realized that the vision I had didn’t feature children anymore. I liked being on my own. Well, I guess just with Ryan at the time. Every time I thought about being pregnant, I felt nothing. I wasn’t excited about it like I used to be,” her eyes cast downwards, “and if I’m being completely honest, I thought a lot about what happened with Ash.”

He’s still then. The thoughts of his brother’s last moments rocketing back into his brain. The red dot on his forehead, the fear in his eyes. The thump as he hit the ground.

“I don’t mean to upset you, Fezco.” Lexi murmurs, “I’m sorry.”

“Nah, shawty. You good. He’s just... I’on know. It’s still hard to think about him.”

She nods, her hand reaching out and taking his, “He was a great kid, Fezco. That’s why I don’t want kids. They can be fantastic, you can do your best and try your hardest to do right by them but things happen outside your control.” she rubs her thumb across his knuckles, detecting the tension that was wracking his body.

“The thought of that kind of grief was just too much. I can be happy with just myself and a partner and still have a fulfilling life.”

[rkived]

year 22 (m) — jjk

‘‘I knew you’d be standing in my front porch light, and I knew you’d come back to me.’‘ 

Pairing: childhoodfriend!jk x f!reader 

Genre/Tags: angst!!!, drama, a lil fluff, f2l, e2l-ish, pining, slow burn, smut

Rating: M +18

WC: 11.5k

Warnings: time jumps, underage drinking, jk being a douchebag for most of the fic, reader can’t catch a mf break, mention of character death ((no major one tho)). smut in the form of oral (f. receiving), fingering, nipple play, unprotected sex ((wrap it b4 u tap it y’all)), my being called pretty kink making a brief appearance soz

A/N: i listened to cardigan for the first time n had it on replay the whole time i wrote this so ig u should do it too ! this is my first time posting smut on here but who would i be if i didn’t throw in some good angst ? also tysm to @periminkle​ for being my unofficial beta reader n checking it up for me, she knows i’m constantly looking for her validation n i def wouldn’t post this if she didn’t love it ilu vira thx for being the best ever mwah !!! 

You’re five, cowering behind his mother’s legs, sniffing as tears stream down your face. In front of you both stands Jungkook, there’s remorse written all over his face as his mother stares him down with hands on her hips and a look that just screams that this is only the beginning of his punishment. 

‘’Apologize to Y/N right now Jungkook, or I’ll have your father have a word with you,’’ she threatens with a stern tone, making her son quickly shake his head no. ‘‘You need to learn how to share your toys.’’ 

You peek behind her lanky leg and find the slightly older kid looking at you with narrowed eyes, ‘‘I’m sorry, Y/N.’’ He apologizes with a bow, but he’s obviously displeased with the whole ordeal. 

His mother sighs and Jungkook pouts at the look on her face. She urges you to come out from your not-so-secret hiding spot and to go back to playing with him, even though you seriously doubt that will do any good to what just happened. 

Jungkook’s bedroom door is kept open as he sits back down on his city patterned carpet, you twiddle with your thumbs and stare at the Spiderman poster on his wall. There’s an awkward silence between you two until you feel a toy bump your crisscrossed legs. 

It’s the shiny red car he had refused to lend you before, provoking an argument between you two which eventually made you run out of his room in tears as you ratted him out to his mom. 

‘‘Wooow,’’ you whisper in awe, taking the car in your hands with so much care, treating it like it’s one of your newest dolls. 

Jungkook huffs, crossing his arms as he looks at you with distaste and he’s forced to settle with other boring toys as you giggle to yourself, making the car follow the carpet’s tracks. He learns then to never trust his mother again. If she ever says she’ll bring a new friend for him to play with again, he’ll refuse wholeheartedly.

He doesn’t like sharing his toys, and it’ll probably take him a long time to learn how to.

You’re nine as you hand Jungkook one of the multiple Valentine’s Day cards you carefully crafted the night before with your mother, adding all kinds of pretty stickers and shiny glitter to make each one of them unique. His is different from the rest, though. 

You added hearts to the dots in the I’s, there’s a hint of your favorite body splash enveloping the pink construction paper and it fills Jungkook’s nostrils with so much force that he feels he could gag at the smell. 

‘‘What do you think?’’ You ask the fourth-grader with a big smile on your face, cheeks tinted with a light shade of red as you see him reading the little message you wrote inside the card.

Jungkook lets out a mocking chuckle, ‘‘Are you serious? You like me?’’ He asks you, but it doesn’t look like he’s looking for answers. Your smile slowly fades away, looking at him with glossy eyes, ‘‘I don’t like you, you’re just a dumb little girl.’’ 

His card was the one you had invested the most time in and yet it only took him a second to crumple it with his hand, and another five for him to toss it into the trash can near you before he goes back to his group of friends in the school’s playground.

You learn how to hold your tears in then, thinking it’s a great accomplishment and that maybe now he’ll stop calling you a crybaby.

His friends receive him with high-fives and he smiles with gratefulness because they just saw how much of a badass he can be. Once recess is over and everyone’s going back to their classrooms, Jungkook nears the garbage bin where he had thrown the Valentine's card in, but finds it’s now dirty with yogurt someone tossed inside. 

He grimaces at the sight and sighs, there’s no way he can save it now.

You’re twelve and you’re the only girl in the treehouse who hasn’t gone through puberty yet. It wasn’t something that bothered you until just recently, when it became pretty evident why none of the boys would even give you a onceover compared to the other girls.

“I don’t know if I want to play,” you mumble after Kim Jihyo suggests playing spin the bottle. You’re the only one who opposes the idea, though you could count Jungkook in given as he just sat there without saying a word.

Park Yerim rolls her eyes, “You’re so boring, Y/N!” The comment makes the rest giggle as you pout at being the designated party pooper. 

It’s all fun and games of truth and dares to whoever the bottle lands on and you’ve been lucky enough to avoid the tip of the plastic Coca-Cola bottle to point at you, until it lands on Jungkook who has done a few funny dares so far.

“Alright, Jungkook, let’s make things even more fun!” Jihyo announces since she’s been the one who has assigned most of the embarrassing challenges and questions, “I dare you to kiss one of the girls here for ten seconds.” 

The dare makes the boys cheer with excitement and the girls gasp with anticipation, hoping one of them is the lucky chosen one. Your lips part slightly as you stare at him sitting across from you, he’s clearly not comfortable with the dare, but knowing him, he won’t express his current discomfort. 

His eyes land on you as you stare back at him with concern, hoping that he’ll speak up to avoid himself the embarrassment. Has he even kissed someone before? If this is his first kiss, you’ll witness it alongside everyone else and you can only imagine how terrifying that must be. Even though Jungkook’s always been a brave kid, you can always tell when he feels under pressure.

“Uhm, I’ll uh—“ Jungkook keeps staring at you and you feel your heart start to beat like you just ran the usual ten laps around the gym in P.E class. Are you about to have your first kiss? With him? 

You nod your head absentmindedly, a sign to let him know it’s okay for him to pick you from all the other developed girls who probably have more experience kissing than you do, but it’s okay because you’ve always been a quick learner. 

“Yeji,” Jungkook says after what feels like forever, though it’s only been a mere few seconds, “I’ll kiss Yeji.” He adds, removing his eyes from yours and settling them on the girl with the high ponytail and pink colored nails. 

You bite your bottom lip hard, breaking the dry skin as you feel yourself taste blood. It doesn’t matter because no one’s paying attention to you and instead they’re focused on Jungkook’s neverending kiss with Yeji. 

When you get home that night, you look at yourself in the mirror and frown at your lack of everything. Is this the reason as to why he hadn’t picked you? 

You’re fourteen and Kim Taehyung just sent you a message through MSN in which he confesses to have feelings for you. Your eyes widen, rereading the message several times, rubbing at your eyes just to make sure you’re seeing things correctly. 

You run off across the street to Jungkook’s house, ringing the doorbell quickly for someone to open up. You’re greeted by him looking at you with an annoyed expression, he had to pause his GTA game to come and open the door. 

“What do you want?” Jungkook asks harshly, crossing his arms as he stares into somewhere that’s not your face. He’s anxiously waiting for you to spit out whatever it is you’re there to say. 

You calm yourself down by breathing in deep and out, blowing the air right at him, “Does Taehyung like me?” You ask him, making Jungkook’s eyes widen in surprise and his brows to raise. 

His reaction tells you that you might’ve just discovered a secret you weren’t supposed to and it only makes your heart beat even faster because if it’s true, then this is a pleasant surprise. Kim Taehyung is one of the hottest boys in the tenth grade and he happens to be one of Jungkook’s closest friends. You think he must know something since you see them hanging out at lunch.

“Uh—I don’t know, Y/N.” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing at the back of his neck, finally looking at you and he feels a gut wrenching punch in his stomach at the sight. “Taehyung isn’t a really good guy, you shouldn’t—“ 

“What are you saying?” You interrupt him with a question, confused as to why Jungkook was painting a negative picture of his friend. “He was really sweet with what he said, he thinks my eyes are pretty when they sparkle — I didn’t even know they did that!” 

Jungkook grimaces and sighs, there’s really not much he can do here. You’ve always been so stubborn, so relentless. No matter how many times life tries to tell you something’s not meant for you, you challenge each and every one of it’s obstacles until you take what’s yours. 

“Okay, then what are you gonna do? Date him? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.” Jungkook reminds you with a mocking tone and you furrow your brows together because, how does he know that? 

You stammer, “I-I have! I had it at camp last summer, actually!” That’s a lie, but he wasn’t there so he can’t prove the veracity of your statement. “And what do you care? So what if I want to date him?” You add with anger, not understanding why couldn’t he just support you in search of true love. 

The thought of dating Kim Taehyung had never crossed your mind, thinking he was way too out of your league for him to ever notice you. But that confession sitting in your MSN chat now served as a nice feeling of knowing you aren’t as invisible as you think you are. 

Jungkook scoffs, “Taehyung would never date you, okay? He’s older than you, he’s cool, he goes to parties and has kissed almost every girl in his grade, do you think he’d really like someone as boring as you?” He doesn’t mean to be so harsh, but you’re just so difficult and impossible to get through.

Jungkook’s used to the trembling bottom lip and the teary eyes that you give him everytime he says something that definitely strikes a nerve within you, but he’s always impressed on how you always refrain from crying in front of him. Last time you did that you were both kids and he probably took the last lollipop from your batch of collected halloween candy. 

“Screw you, Jungkook,” you say through gritted teeth, and if looks could kill, he’d be dead already. 

He looks at you quickly stomp your way back to your house, only heading back inside once you slam your front door shut. Jungkook enters his room to find two new messages in his MSN.

$$ kIm tAaEhyYyuNG $$: it worked! 

$$ kIm tAeEhyYyunGG $$: she fell for it xDxD where did u even come up with the sparkly eyes thing?? that’s gold bro rofl 

Jungkook sighs, ignoring the messages and shutting his computer down.

You’re sixteen and you’ve been invited to your first party. Granted, it was Jungkook’s, but he knew that if he didn’t ask you to come you’d probably tell on him with his mom. No matter what age he was, he’d always fear his mother’s scolding. 

“Drink this!” Park Jimin says with his beautiful smile and you’re starting to realize why they gave him that very same superlative on the school’s yearbook. You take the red solo cup without any second thought, placing the rim straight to your lips and choke once you feel the liquid burn your throat. 

“Ugh—What’s this?” You ask, cleaning the droplets of liquid around the corners of your mouth. 

He chuckles, “Fruit punch!” The liquid is indeed red like the familiar drink you’re used to, but there’s definitely something else mixed inside. “Oh, and vodka,” he adds with wiggly eyebrows as he shows off the small flask he was hiding in his sweatshirt’s front pocket.

You gasp and hand him the cup back, “No, I don’t drink alcohol, sorry.” Jimin rolls his eyes and it reminds you of the many times you’ve received this same reaction from your classmates before. Always a party pooper. He’s about to take the plastic red cup from you until you quickly drink the spiked punch in one go.

The boy howls in excitement, “Woo, go Y/N! Another one coming right up.” 

Jungkook knows he should be making sure everything’s alright downstairs. If his mother notices there’s at least one misplaced object, she’ll know right away something went down in her house while her husband and her were away for the weekend on an emergency trip to their hometown. Leaving him unsupervised only because they both believed their son was old enough to tend for himself.

But Jung Eunha had dragged him into his room with the excuse of wanting to see what it looked like, but the mini tour had turned into them kissing on his bed and Jungkook is thankful he changed his Spiderman sheets in exchange for some boring plain grey ones. Eunha smells like fresh mint and Jungkook is way into his head to focus on properly kissing her.

It’s not until his bedroom door is abruptly open, slamming against the wall that Jungkook literally jumps to his feet, making Eunha gasp as they both look at the person who has interrupted their awkward makeout session. 

“Guk-ah, what are you doin’?” You curiously wonder, a hiccup following right after which makes you giggle. Jungkook’s chest rises and falls with quickness as he notices you look different from the last time he saw you twenty minutes ago when you were talking to Jimin. “Guk-ah, were you—you kissin’ Eunha?” You ask once more after not receiving an answer to your previous question.

“Y/N, are you okay?” He asks in concern, coming closer to analyze your weird state. You stretch your arm out to avoid him from nearing you, making him falter in his place as he studies your expression. 

You hum, “Guk-ah, you busy. Sorry,” you apologize in a shy tone, ready to head back down and have more of that fruity alcohol punch you now found tasty, but you stumble and only avoid yourself from falling by holding onto Jungkook's door frame, he’s already reaching out by then. 

“Are you fucking serious, Y/N? Get out!” Eunha complains with irritation, getting up from the bed and ready to kick you out of his room, but his free arm stops her from getting near you. “Whu—?”

“Eunha, go back down. I’ll deal with her myself.” Jungkook says as calmly as he can, thinking three’s a crowd and dealing with you wasn’t an easy thing in of itself. She’s about to argue, but he interrupts her again, “Go down, now.” 

She rolls her eyes and bumps her shoulder against yours harshly once she steps out of his room, “Whatever, that kiss was shitty anyway.” 

He pretends he didn’t hear that and takes you in his arms instead, dragging you to lay on his bed as you cuddle into his favorite pillow and hug it close to your body. How much did you drink? Why did you even do it in the first place? Jungkook knows you’ve never tried alcohol before, which means he’ll be in big trouble if you show up back to your house like this. 

When you open your eyes hours later, your head hurts and it feels lightweight when you move it side to side. The room you’re in is familiar, that spiderman poster is still hung on the wall, but there are no more toys laying around the floor; they’ve probably been stored somewhere in his garage or sent off to a donation center under his mother’s demand.

The pillow that you’re hugging smells just like him and any other day you’d hold on to it tighter and inhale his scent like your life depended on it, but you abruptly sit on the bed as you’re reminded of how you got here. The action is not appreciated by your dizzy head, but you look around the room to notice how dark it is and there’s no more music playing downstairs. 

You quickly jump to the ground, only to hear a “Fuck, ouch!” from below, stepping on Jungkook’s leg unintentionally. It makes you gasp, looking down to notice the older friend laying on the cold floor, having gotten rid of that childhood carpet of his. His head’s laying on a makeshift pillow made out of a towel and he’s trying hard not to shiver. 

“I’m sorry, sorry, sorry!” You quickly apologize, stepping away from his figure as he soothes the shin of his leg you stepped on. “Jungkook, what happened?” 

He sighs, “Someone decided to drink like five cups of spiked punch knowing damn well it was their first time drinking alcohol, stepped into my room like a crazy person, and then crashed on my bed like they—What’s with the face?”

“Bathroom.”

Jungkook grimaces while he holds your hair back, you’re throwing away all the liquid you had taken with a few additional snacks you had munched on earlier, “Are you done?” He asks in a tired mumble and you shake your head no.

He feels guilty that you’re in this position. He didn’t even want to kiss Eunha, but she was one of the most popular girls in his grade and he knew that if he turned her down she would most likely put a bad word in with the rest of the girls and the guys would make fun of him for being such a wuss.

That would’ve been better, because after laying you down on his bed he had to go down and tell everyone that the party was over, putting an excuse that the neighbors had warned him and threatened to call the cops. They all cleared pretty quickly, but he knew he was going to be the butt of the jokes come Monday. He even had to call your parents to let them know you had gone home to a friend’s house for a sleepover, which he knew wasn’t totally believable, but it had somehow gotten them convinced that their daughter was alright because they trusted Jungkook to never hurt you ever. 

Once you feel like you’ve puked your stomach out, Jungkook hands you a pill accompanied with a glass of water and hands you clothes of his that might be more comfortable to sleep in. 

“Good night, Jungkook,” you whisper once you’re laying back on his bed, still hugging the pillow he preferred to sleep with. He makes a sacrifice to make it up to you. 

His back is going to hurt by the time the sun comes out in a few hours, but it’s okay if it means you’ll sleep comfortably after the events of tonight. “Good night, Y/N.” 

He’s unable to sleep, but finds entertainment in your hanging hand beside his bed. The skin on your palm looks soft and there’s this strange urge inside of him that makes him want to grab your hand in his, but he refrains. 

To calm the current chaos in his head, Jungkook finds peace in the light snores coming from his bed.

You’re just about to turn eighteen and your date to the prom is Jeong Jaehyun, who had only asked you out a day before the event because the girl he had initially wanted to take had been asked and he didn’t have a plan B. 

Jaehyun is okay, at least he managed to get you a corsage that matched the color of your dress. He even smiles in the pictures your parents take of you both as you awkwardly try to look comfortable with his arms around you even though by then you had only exchanged a few sentences. 

The prom’s theme is Summer Nights and you think it’s fitting considering this is the very last event before the graduation ceremony, meaning that you’d most likely never see most of these people ever again. You had purposely applied to a college that was outside of your hometown for that same reason. You’re ready to live the life you’ve always wanted to live, without anyone judging or knowing you. 

Your date spends most of the night talking with his group of friends as you’re left alone on your table, looking at your well manicured nails. You knew you weren’t going to get the same prom experience the high school kids on T.V enjoyed, but you at least hoped it would’ve been a little more fun than this.

A tap on your shoulder makes you turn around to see Jungkook trying to loosen the tight tie around his neck. He looks incredibly handsome and you suppose his mother helped him pick the suit out, Jungkook rarely ever wore fitted clothing, so this is one of those once in a lifetime moments..

“Hey you,” you say and he gives you half a smile, wondering why you’re sitting by yourself at an empty table when everyone else was either mingling or dancing. “Where’s your date?” You ask with curiosity, you’re surprised that Jinsoul isn’t trailing alongside him given how she had behaved for the past week ever since he asked her to come with him. 

“Retouching her face or something,” he answers casually, “what are you doing sitting here? Where’s Jaehyun?” Jungkook asks.

You shrug your shoulders, “Don’t know, probably talking with the guys of the basketball team. He’s been gone for a while.” Not like you care, anyway. If your conversation with him inside his car on the way to the venue had been any indication of what it would’ve been like for the rest of the night, you’re glad he's not here trying to make any more small talk with you.

Jungkook huffs, thinking he’ll kick his ass if he sees him. He had asked him to invite you so you wouldn’t come alone, and yet here you are, sitting all by yourself while the douchebag’s making a social life somewhere in the crowd. He calms down once he notices how unbothered you are by it, though. You’re a big girl now, you’ve been through too much to be affected by something as simple as this.

“Is there something you wan—“

“Dance!” You interrupt with excitement and Jungkook chuckles.

“I was gonna ask if you wanted something to drink, but—alright, let’s dance.” Jungkook can’t dance for shit, but you took lessons when you were younger and he can still remember how you’d always show him the routines you learned in class. He’d always boo you, but in reality you were pretty good. He wonders why you stopped, he doesn’t recall you ever telling him.

It’s just his luck that once you both step into the dancefloor, the hired DJ stops the up-tempo song playing before and switches to a much slower romantic one, “Alright everyone, I want all the couples on the dancefloor for this one.” 

You step away from him with nervousness, it’s couples only after all. But Jungkook holds onto your lower back firmly, pulling you closer into his space. Your eyebrows raise as your lips part, “Uh, s-should we, uh—?” 

“It’s just a song, Y/N. You wanted to dance, then we’ll dance.” He tells you with such confidence it makes you feel like this is totally normal and something all friends do. All the known High School couples are dancing together, heads tenderly placed over chests and chins resting lovingly above them. You wait for Jungkook to take the lead because you have no clue of what you should be doing, you might’ve taken dance lessons years ago but you’ve never slowed danced in your life. 

Jungkook places his hand on your hip, the touch makes goosebumps crawl in your arms. He pretends he doesn’t notice it as he takes your right hand in his. You stare at the way he delicately holds it like it’s his mother’s fine china. “Place your other hand on my shoulder,” he instructs and you do as asked, your palm coming to rest on the strong muscle. 

He’s only slowed danced once before at a family member’s wedding where his mother taught him how to, with her as the teacher. Back then he thought it was incredibly ridiculous, but now he’s sort of glad that happened because he’s the teacher now and you’re now looking at him with your big eyes as you sway alongside him. 

You clear your throat, “This isn’t that hard.” Jungkook nods as he stares down at you, noticing how uneasy you are given that you’re looking at everything and not entirely immersed in the moment.

“You look beautiful tonight.” He says out of nowhere, making you look at him like a deer stuck in headlights, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He had never called you that before. 

An awkward laugh escapes your lips, looking away from his intense gaze as you try not to take his words too literally, “Ha ha, that was a good one.” To you there’s no other explanation than this being one of his mean pranks on you.

But Jungkook doesn’t falter both his words and gaze, “I’m not laughing.” There’s seriousness in his voice and you have to look back at him again just to make sure he really isn’t, “You look beautiful, just take the compliment.” You nod and there’s silence between you two after that. You’re digesting the romantic lyrics that the singer is talking about and hope that the song ends soon, because you’ve never been this close to him and it’s starting to feel too crowded.

You clear your throat, “So…” 

“So…,” he repeats. 

“What are you doing for summer?” You ask him in an attempt to break the tension and wanting to take advantage of the little intimate moment since Jungkook rarely ever lets you pry into his private life. 

“I think I’ll train before heading off,” he answers. It was more than obvious he was going to earn that sports scholarship he had been aiming for, he was one of the best athletes on the school; though you considered him to be the number one between them all. “I’m kinda scared, not gonna lie.” 

You look at him with surprise, tilting your head to the side, “You’re scared?” You ask in disbelief because as long as you’ve known him, he’s never been scared of anything. This is the same kid who instilled your fear of monsters in a closet after watching Monster’s Inc. together, also the same kid who helped you get over it after he realized you had actually taken it seriously.

He chuckles lightly, “Yeah, I’m just scared about starting over.” It’s interesting how his biggest fear is the one you’re looking forward to the most, but you suppose it’s fitting for someone who has never had to worry about what people think of him. In this town, Jungkook has swam freely without any concerns. Out there, he’s just another fish in the big and scary ocean. “Aren’t you?” He questions, hoping that you’re able to relate to what he’s feeling. 

“Honestly, I—“ 

You’re interrupted by Jaehyun clearing his voice in front of you two, making you both turn your heads towards his direction. You quickly separate from Jungkook and he feels his body lose the warmness you were providing. 

“If you wanted to dance, you could’ve just asked. I’m your date after all.” He says smugly and you chuckle awkwardly, nodding because he’s right. 

Jungkook wants to punch his stupid face, how dare he interrupt you both when he had been ignoring you the whole night? Why does he suddenly want to dance with you when he’s probably still upset at him for asking Jinsoul to the prom before he could?

“Your date’s looking for you, buddy. She doesn’t look too happy.” Jaehyun adds with a smirk as he takes your hand in his and drags you away from Jungkook towards another place on the dancefloor. 

He’s left to stare at the way he holds your hand, and he only hopes he’s doing it ever so carefully. 

You’re twenty when Jungkook sees you for the first time since you both left for college two and half a years ago. He’s rendered speechless when he spots you in the crowd, there’s a manly hand around your waist as you giggle into the stranger’s mouth before placing a kiss to his lips. 

There’s only so much social media can provide him, pictures and stories aren’t enough for Jungkook to keep up with you. He thinks you’ve changed, not only appearance wise but you seem way more outgoing, carefree, and happy. Did he miss the boyfriend announcement picture? He’s sure he didn’t, he checks your profile almost every day and he’s never even seen him in any of your stories. 

A gasp escapes your lips once you spot him, completely forgetting about the possibility of bumping into him given that both your schools were playing against each other that night. You tell Namjoon you’ll be right back and he nods, going back to a conversation with the group of college friends you had made. 

You surprise him by jumping into him, arms around his shoulders as you hug him from behind. You let out a shrill of excitement and he blushes as his friends chuckle at the unexpected approach from this unfamiliar girl. 

‘‘Jungkook! You didn’t tell me you’d be here,’’ you say once he turns around to face you and he’s able to see you better upfront. You look beautiful and he thinks the Instagram pictures are not doing you enough justice. You’re glowing, and it has nothing to do with the highlighter you applied on your face and collarbone area. 

The both of you aren’t able to properly talk until you suggest moving to a different area, Jungkook apologizing to his friends as he explained he needed to catch up with an old friend. They don’t complain and instead shoot him teasing looks and small pervy comments that go by unnoticed to you. 

Jungkook listens with intent to your ramble about what you’ve been up to. From your courses, to your roommates, the parties you’ve attended, and even the fact that you handle your alcohol better now. He’s happy that you seem so too, but it irks him that you hadn’t been capable of telling him that you had a boyfriend now. Is there a reason as to why you omitted that important piece of information? 

‘‘And what about you? How’s college?’’ You ask with curiosity. 

He blinks a few times, realizing you had stopped talking about yourself and was now wondering about him instead. ‘‘It’s fine,’’ he answers with a tight lipped smile, the lack of detail compared to you was astonishing, but even though you were still hungry for more you decided not to pry any further. 

There’s fear in revealing that he’s been having a hard time catching up with the rest of his peers. College was indeed fine, but it could be better. He’s settled with the idea that this is as good at it’ll get, some things just aren’t like you expect them to be. At least you’re happy, and that fact brings him comfort. 

‘‘Was that your, uhm─boyfriend?’’ He finally asks after a while, both about to head back to your respective group of friends. 

The question takes you by surprise, looking at him with raised eyebrows and mouth agape. ‘‘Who? Namjoon?’’ He nods, though he doesn’t know anything about the guy he had first seen you with. You let out a wholehearted laugh, ‘‘Hell no, too many commitment issues with that one,’’ you answer and Jungkook’s forehead creases with confusion. 

Why were you kissing him then? 

‘‘We’re friends with benefits,’’ you inform him as if you had read his mind. ‘‘He’s a nice guy, though. Also, super smart, he’s helped me with a few of my─’’ 

‘‘You’re not a virgin anymore?’’ He abruptly asks, disbelief in his tone as he internally screams to himself for thinking out loud. Jungkook expects you to berate him about such an imprudent question, but is surprised when he sees you giggling. 

‘‘Duh, silly. I think I lost it freshman year?’’ The carelessness in your voice makes him look at you like you’ve gone crazy. Why are you so lax about this? Why are you telling him about losing your virginity without a care in the world? ‘‘Anyway, are you going to be home for the─’’

Jungkook interrupts you once again, ‘‘Was it with your boyfriend at the time?’’ He asks in genuine curiosity and you sigh, rolling your eyes slightly at him. 

‘‘No, it was some random dude at this party I went to. Could you please─’’

‘‘Y/N, are you insane? Why would you give up your virginity to some fucking stranger like it’s nothing?’’ Jungkook’s voice raises as he scolds you about being so negligent about yourself, ‘‘You can’t do shit like that!’’ He fumed, making you let out a breathless chuckle. 

‘‘Could you stop treating me like a fucking child for once in your life? I’m perfectly fine, Jungkook. I’ve been doing pretty well for myself without you here, actually. I don’t know why you think you have a say on what I do, is it the entitlement you have of me that you still carry around because we grew up together? Because if that’s it then you can drop it, I let go of my little girl who wanted a friend and was treated like pure shit in return complex a long time ago.’’ 

He knows you’re right, but he thinks he’ll always have this odd sense of protection over the five year old girl who cried to his mom about not lending her his favorite toy. He’ll always want to apologize to the eight year old girl who declared her love for him with a Valentine’s Day card while he ended up breaking her heart in exchange. He’ll always wish to look for help within the twelve year old girl who witnessed him give out his first kiss to another girl who he didn’t even like. He’ll always feel guilty towards the sixteen year old girl who had gotten tipsy on a spiked fruit punch and crashed on his bed. He’ll always hate himself for not asking the seventeen going on eighteen year old girl to prom when he knew he could’ve, but chose not to in fear of ruining your friendship. 

You only wanted someone to be there for you growing up and Jungkook had never been the brave boy you thought he was, always running from his fears in hopes he’d have a wide advantage margin from them. Yet here they are, standing right in front of him in the form of a twenty year old you, and they’re there to let him know that you’ve never needed him, yet he’s always needed you.

He can’t even apologize, he only looks at you with wide eyes as he fidgets in his place. Either you’re both too old now to understand each other or you just realized that you’ve outgrown Jungkook. 

Your mouth set in a hard line as you crossed your arms, the night’s breeze feeling colder than usual. ‘‘I miss you Jungkook, but I can’t keep playing this cat and mouse game with you any longer.’’ 

You leave him behind to go back to Namjoon’s arms, seeking refuge in his sweet embrace as you try your hardest to put on practice what you learned all those years ago when Jungkook broke your heart for the first time, you should be used to it by now.

You’re twenty-one when you’re back in your hometown to attend the funeral of the old lady down the street, the one that always scolded you and Jungkook growing up. 

You had been scared of her as a child, but always following along your friend’s footsteps when he proposed playing around her garden. It tugs at your heartstrings even if you hadn’t known the woman well. Her death was imminent seeing as she’d been ill for quite some time. 

A taller figure stands next to you as you both stand way in the back of the ceremony. He looks tired and you figure that it’s because of the fact he arrived late into the night, you heard his car’s engine from your bedroom window. Dressing in all black, you notice he bought a new suit. You’re sure that the one he wore for prom no longer fits considering he’s bigger now. 

You haven’t talked to each other since last year when you both left off on a sour note. The hurt you felt was no longer present, though. You chewed on your bottom lip as you thought of a way you could talk to him again without making things awkward, but you let out a small gasp once he placed his arm around your shoulders, giving it a small squeeze as he sighed and kept his focus on the service. 

Watching the casket be lowered into the ground felt weird. She was a human being just like you, but her existence was a reminder of your childhood. Would it be okay to say that her death meant a part of you leaving with her too? 

Once it hits you, it’s Jungkook who consoles you by hugging you tight. Your eyes are too blurry with tears for you to realize this is one of those rare moments where he’s holding you close without hesitation. He lets you ruin his tuxedo’s jacket with your mascara covered tears as he brushes your hair as a sign of comfort. 

You know things are back in order when he proposes the idea to go back to the old lady’s porch, for old times sake. ‘‘Will we ever let her rest?’’ You ask him with a small laugh as Jungkook sits on the doorsteps of the old lady’s empty home, opening the bag of candy worms he bought at the grocery store. 

He shrugs, ‘‘She loved us, always told my mom how much she missed us running around the street.’’ The revelation makes you smile, hoping it was true. He pats the empty space next to him, indicating for you to fill it up with your presence. Once you do, you feel the familiar warmth of his proximity. 

Jungkook seems different and you only hope he’s changed for the best. 

‘‘When are you going back?’’ You ask him with curiosity, hoping that he’ll be in town for a few more days so you can catch up with him on a better note this time around. 

He munches on one of the snacks, ‘‘Tomorrow morning, I have training camp and can’t miss it.’’ His answer makes you sigh with disappointment, but you nod nonetheless. ‘‘What about you?’’ He asks in return, and you inform him that you’ll stay for a few more days to spend time with your family. There’s silence after that and Jungkook can only offer you the gummy worms in the bag, you take one with a small thanks.  

‘‘College fucking sucks,’’ he says out of nowhere and it makes you look at him in bewilderement, ‘‘I hate it there, I wanna drop out so bad. But I’m a year away from graduating so it’s too late now.’’ You see his shoulders visibly relax, like a weight had been lifted off them. ‘‘Plus my mom would kill me if I do so,’’ he adds with a chuckle. 

Last time you asked everything was fine. Had things changed or had they always been this way and he was just now being honest with you?

You rest your head on his shoulder and focus all of your undivided attention on him as he keeps rambling about what his life has been ever since he left this town. He’s had bad games, bad grades, and bad girls. But he’s also had incredible games, good grades, and a couple great hookups, and yet he still feels empty, it’s not enough. 

‘‘I miss you,’’ he mumbles as he faces you, ‘‘I’m sorry for being such a shitty friend, you deserved better.’’ His apology is genuine and you can feel it in the way his voice trembles, sincerity has always scared him after all. 

Jungkook’s never known when the time is right, and he misjudges the look on your face. When he leans down to press his lips against yours, he’s blinded for a mere moment into believing that you wanted to kiss him just as much as he had been waiting. 

You abruptly separate from him with wide eyes and parted lips, ‘‘Jungkook, I’m─I’m dating Namjoon now.’’ He can physically feel his heart shatter, the revelation coming out like an old newspaper headline he should’ve read a long time ago. 

He lets out a breathless chuckle, ‘‘He got over the commitment issues?’’ The rhetorical question is bitter. 

You scoff, ‘‘And what about it? I preferred to wait than to rush into getting my heart broken.’’ Plus it’s not like you were expecting Namjoon to grow feelings for you, the whole no strings attached arrangement was named that way for a reason. 

Jungkook looks at you with narrowed eyes and he shakes his head sightly. Old habits never die down, still so stubborn and challenging as ever. 

He’s startled as you stand abruptly, fuming as you look at him, ‘‘I don’t even know why you care! Did you forget that you threw my Valentine’s Day card into the trash? Or that you kissed Yeji in front of my face? Or that you let Taehyung date me as prank between your friends? Or that you were making out with Eunha while Jimin kept giving me alcohol? Or that you asked Jaehyun to take me to the stupid prom even though I was perfectly fine going without him or anyone for that matter?’’

‘‘We were just kids!’’ Jungkook argues back at you.

‘‘It still fucking hurt,’’ you counter, ‘‘still hurts, actually. You think that by giving me a measly apology and kissing it better I’ll suddenly forget about all of it?’’ Jungkook knows it won’t ever make up for all those years, but he had at least hoped you’d be willing to give him a chance. 

He wishes he could say something else. Explain that he had just tried to protect you in his own shitty way from everyone else or himself maybe, he doesn’t know anymore. He wants to speak up again, but there’s disappointment written all over your face, you’re not angry at him...just saddened. 

‘‘Hope you have fun at your training camp.’’

Jungkook watches as you leave him sitting by himself on the old lady’s doorstep. A hand runs through his hair as he feels his eyes water, and he can almost hear a whisper in the wind that asks him why he didn’t stop you when he could’ve. 

Jungkook didn’t think that his family coming together with yours for Christmas dinner would’ve been a great idea. You’re cold to him at first and it’s fitting for the winter weather, but as always it only takes for him to sit next to you for things to warm up again. 

It’s with the excuse that you’ll run over to your house to grab a new bottle of wine from the kitchen counter that Jungkook trails behind you, both slightly tipsy on the different alcohols your families had offered each other. 

Years have passed since he last stepped foot inside your home, you used to visit him more often than he did anyway. It still smells and looks the same; the only difference is that there’s new pictures of you hung up on the walls, updated accordingly to the changes you’ve made ever since you left off for college.

You’re sporting a big smile in all of them, which in exchange makes him copy the action as well. His lack of presence in your life has done you better than compared to when he was around, and if that’s the case, then at least he did something right. 

There hasn’t been much said since the beginning of the night, just a simple hey out of courtesy. There’s so much he wants to say, but with no clue where to begin. Another apology is due, though he thinks it’s a little too late for that. He also wants to ask about what you’ve been up to since he last saw you, are you still dating the Namjoon guy you had told him about after he kissed you? If he’s still there, Jungkook rather keep quiet and not wonder out loud to you, he’s sure that it’ll hurt if it’s true. 

Growing up Jungkook always mistook your bravery with stubbornness and your courage with relentlessness. You’ve always been challenging, but only because you wanted him to do so too. It’s moments like this that prove him that you’ve always been the stronger between the two.

‘‘So, we’re just gonna pretend like nothing’s wrong between us?’’ You ask, speaking directly to him for the first time that night. It makes him look at you like a deer stuck in headlights, surprised by the sudden question and out of all the years of knowing each other, he feels small under your gaze for once. ‘‘How much time is it going to pass until you want to finally talk things like adults?’’ 

Jungkook gulps the lump in his throat, his brain quickly thinking of the right thing to say, ‘‘I just wanted to protect you from─’’

‘‘From what? From you? Everytime you’ve done that I end up getting hurt in the end. I’m left to pick the pieces up by myself,’’ you interject with anger in your voice. ‘‘It fucking pisses me off that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you kissing me, I haven’t stopped thinking about you and─’’ A sigh, you close your eyes to center yourself again as Jungkook waits for the final blow, ‘‘and you look like none of this has ever bothered you in the slightest because, you don’t really care about me do you?’’

‘‘I do care about you.’’ He’s sure about it, even though he’s been extremely bad at showing it. 

Even though your eyes are threatening to spill tears, you still muster up the last bit of what’s left of your courage to step closer to him until you’re a few inches away. ‘‘Prove it, then. Show me that you care.’’ 

His brain is sent into quick overdrive due to your close proximity. There’s a slight hesitation because he only hopes that what he’s about to do is what you’re demanding him to prove. He doesn’t care if you’re still dating the Namjoon guy because he’s settled with the idea that it’s okay if you don’t correspond, it’s not like he did the same to you when you were both younger. 

Once his lips press against yours, there’s no turning back. He’s waiting for you to push him back and let him know that your heart’s still taken, but you kiss him with such fervor that he knows in that moment that you’re right, it’s better to wait than to rush right in. 

It’s no fairytale kiss, though. There’s desperation in the way you chase his lips, as if you were to slow down he’d find a way to escape from you. You grip the cotton material of his crewneck into your small fists, holding on to the fabric like your life depended on it. The small kiss you had both shared last year was nothing compared to this, and Jungkook’s taken aback by your neediness. 

He doesn’t know how you manage to drag him to your childhood bedroom without missing a beat, only separating once you both realize you need to catch your breaths, and even then Jungkook can’t have a minute to take just happened in because your lips attach to his neck to get more of a taste. His fingers curled around your arm, sighing at the way your kisses felt like electricity on his skin. 

‘‘Y/N,’’ he calls your name out in a breathy tone, but you’re too immersed in your little bubble to even realize it. 

Jungkook groans when you bite into the skin of his neck, then blowing over the red mark as you kissed it better. It’s going to be bruise and he doesn’t like when that happens, but he’s not bothered at all if it comes from you. He forcibly grabs your chin so you can face him, looking at him with big eyes, a small pout, and with your chin messed with drool. 

It’s then that Jungkook kisses you hungrily, making you feel like you’re in a dream-like state,  though you could partially blame the Christmas eggnog for that. The way he bites at your lips and how your tongues clash together is an extreme juxtaposition as to how you could describe this moment. It’s as if you’re floating on air, clouds surrounding you in a heavenly embrace, angels singing in the background every time his hands touch, grab, hold and caress every part of your body. And yet, even with such a difference, it’s perfect because it’s Jungkook. You’ve been waiting for this too long, which is why your hands creep beneath his crewneck, touching his tonified abdomen tentatively and enjoying the way goosebumps arise on his skin at the sensation of your fingers trailing patterns wherever they caress.  

It’s only fair that he pays attention to yours as well. Jungkook’s lips trail from your mouth onto your jawline, planting wet kisses on each space until he begins sucking on the skin of your neck, making you moan in the process. He chooses then that his new favorite sound is the way you voice out the pleasure he gives you. ‘‘Hurry up,’’ you say, ridding the bottom of the crewneck higher over his stomach, making him shiver at the sudden change of temperature. 

Jungkook chuckles before completely getting rid of the material, ‘‘Calm down,’’ he sighs as he gives you a sweet smile, ‘‘You know our moms could talk forever.’’ 

You ogle his chest, admiring the way his training camps have obviously done wonders to his body. ‘‘It’s not them I’m talking about,’’ you correct him with a teasing smile that only makes his grin grow wider, chuckling at your impatience. Jungkook lets out a small gasp of surprise when your hands grasp at his shoulder blades, turning him around so you can back him until the back of his knees hit the edge of your bed. It’s funny how he lets himself be bossed around by someone who’s way smaller compared to his frame.

Jungkook finds leverage on his elbows splayed against the mattress, your knees resting on each side of his hips as you leaned into him and kissing him just as widely as you had done before. Jungkook could fill just how quick things were escalating, especially the way his crotch area was beginning to become a problem he couldn’t possibly control at the moment, not with your own being directly on top of it. In any other situation he would’ve apologized with an awkward laugh, but his breath hitches once your hips start grinding over him.  

His hands make their way on the inside of your knitted sweater, provoking goosebumps on the exposed skin. You let out a shaky laugh, halting your movements so you can quickly get rid of the fabric as Jungkook’s eyebrows lift in surprise at your haste and then at the sight of your bra covered breasts. His hands are still steadily placed on each side of your waist, only brought up because your own had redirected them over your breasts, hoping he gets the message on what you want him to do now.   

Jungkook hesitantly squeezed one of the round globes, provoking a small moan to come from out of your lips. He wishes to hold you as close as he possibly can because the idea of ever being away from you again has been his main fear as of lately. But he refrains, you look so delicate and he feels like you could easily break. He stares at your body lovingly and your cheeks heat up at the way his eyes ogle your chest like a kid in a candy story. You give his arm a light slap and he chuckles, leaning over you to place a passionate kiss on your lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he says frankly. It doesn’t help to dissipate the flush on your face, but the compliment doesn’t bother you in the slightest. Jungkook leans in to trail kisses past your collarbones and into the swell of your breasts, making you bite your lip with anticipation. He looks at you asking for permission and you nod quickly with parted lips as you start to become impatient for him to make his next move. Jungkook lowers the cups of your breasts, freeing your hardened nipples and immediately envelopes one of them with his lips. “Mph—!” A sigh escapes your lips as you try to memorize the way his tongue traces over your tit. He pays attention to your other one, fingers rolling over the bud and pinching ever so often. 

You can feel your panties damp by then, trespassing into the fabric of the black leggings you’re wearing over them. Reaching behind your back, you fumble in unclasping the hooks of the now uncomfortable bra. Jungkook’s forced to stop the undivided attention he had places on your breasts to look at you like he’s lost, why are you going so fast? 

Once your hands delve with the buckle of his belt, he has to hold on to your wrists with a firm grasp, ‘‘What are you doing?’’ He asks with quick breath, you blink stoically towards him. 

‘‘Uh─getting you naked?’’ You answer with a nonchalant tone, but his hands don’t let go and your demeanor changes, ‘‘D-Did you not want this?’’ Your voice turns smaller, embarrassed that maybe you had pressured him into something he didn’t want to participate in. 

Jungkook quickly shakes his head no, ‘‘No, I-I do want this! It’s just─you’re going so fast,’’ he tries to explain, ‘‘I’ve been waiting for this for too long, I don’t wanna rush.’’ Your eyes lit up at the revelation as he waits for you to answer back, only for his back to hit the comforter with a small thud, giggling at the way you urgently kiss him again, but this time with much more care. 

‘‘Why didn’t you say so before, stupid?’’ You mumble with a sheepish look, ‘‘I thought it was just going to be─nevermind, I need you right now.’’ You have to force yourself from spitting out any details that could possibly ruin the moment between you two, deciding to wait instead for any emotional confessions you want to make. 

He switches positions between the two, panting as he brings you down to the mattress and Jungkook can feel the goosebumps on your skin, whether from the coldness of the room or because of the sheer electricity of his hands caressing your body like it was molded just right for him. He dips his hand lower, cupping your clothed heat on his hand. It makes you tremble and you whine, encouraging him to keep going. 

“Baby, you’re really wet,” he comments with a teasing tone and you pout at him. His fingers hook into the waistband of your leggings and he pulls them down as he travels with them, greeted by the sight of the damp cloth of your panties. He exhales with content, caressing your thighs in an up and down motion. You twist underneath him and he has to hold your hips down to calm you down, “Patience is a virtue.” 

“I’ve been too patient, do some—Ah!” Your whining is interrupted once Jungkook moves your underwear to the side holding it with his free hand, fingers coming to trace the slick covering your pussy lips. He becomes entranced with the transparent gooey liquid, bringing them close to his face as he separates his fingers and sees a strand connecting between them. “Guk-ah, p-please…” Your needy voice brings him back to reality, delving his fingers back into your exposed heat but this time with intent. 

Jungkook’s thumb lifts the hood covering your clit, mouth coming down to give it a small tentative kiss. That action alone has you writhing above him, it makes him chuckle to himself as he dives back in. The moans you let out are loud and clear inside your bedroom, thankful that it’s only you and him inside your house. Your hand pulls at his hair, making him groan against you and the vibrations are felt throughout your body, only adding to the euphoric pleasure you already possess. His fingers trace the inside of your thighs until they reach your entrance, circling the fluttering hole which makes you pull at his hair harder and with your other you hold on to the bedsheets of the comforter tightly into your fist. 

Jungkook’s tongue is still working your engorged bud, but he focuses his eyes on you as he dips the first finger inside you. “Oh—fuck,” you let out in a breathy moan. He tries to maintain a rhythm between his two ministrations, but it’s hard when he wants to focus on all of them at once. “‘Nother, please,” you begged once he let your clit rest, quickly following your request by adding another into your warm heat. He lets out a breathless chuckle as he notices how easy it is to thrust both fingers inside of you, your whole crotch area is covered in slick and his wet chin is a dead giveaway to where he was seconds ago. 

He watches you unravel over him with such adoration, not even his wettest dreams or dirtiest fantasies could prepare him for this. Seven minutes in heaven he plans to stay in forever. “Guk-ah, I wan’ you. I-Inside, please.” You plead with teary eyes, and he slowly stops, removing his arousal covered fingers from inside you as he makes you sigh in the process. He kisses you again and again, your hazy brain is probably hallucinating all of this right now, but damn is it good. You tug at the crewneck he’s wearing, he’s too overdressed for this occasion. He tends to your demands, quickly getting rid of all the layers of clothing that stop him from being inside of you fully. 

“I don’t have a—“ 

“I’m on the pill.”

You both speak at the same time, making each other chuckle. Jungkook gulps at the idea of taking you raw as the first time together, and you salivate at his hardened length; the head already oozing precum out and you want nothing more than to wrap your lips around it and lick the tip up. You’re just about to when Jungkook quickly grabs your wrist to stop you from reaching him, you look up at him with the big sparkly eyes he has loved for too long. 

“I just—I wanna be inside you right now,” he sheepishly admits, and you smile with a nod; sharing the sentiment. You back up until your head rests on the pillows comfortably, relaxing into the mattress as you wait for Jungkook to ready himself. He places a kiss on your lips before placing a hand next to your head, using it as leverage above you. His free hand takes his cock and rubs the tip along your folds, making you squirm with anticipation. Jungkook chuckles, “Are you ready?” He asks with a sweet smile. 

“I’ve always been,” you whisper, your hand tucking a strand of his long hair behind his ear. 

A caress to his cheek as he nods, slowly pushing the head of his dick into you. You bite into your lip hard, it’s been a while since you had sex with someone and Jungkook’s size and girth was different from the rest. Your walls are tight around him and he has a tough time trying to reach the hilt with you squeezing him so hard, “Baby, relax for me.” He pleads and you nod apologetically, breathing in deep as you feel him reach parts inside of you, you didn’t know existed. Once he’s all the way in, he waits for you to give him the go ahead while he presses kisses into your heated cheek. You wrap your legs around his waist and give him a nod, letting him know he was allowed to start thrusting.

Jungkook manages to hit all the right places, keeping a steady pace as he enters and exits you each time. You’re left to moan and writhe underneath him, letting him take you as he pleases. Your kisses become messy, teeth biting into each other’s lips, teeth grazing against each other as you both tried to fight for the dominant position. It’s that heavy makeout that incites you to push at his shoulders, making him turn in his back, exiting you in the process. Jungkook pants, chest rising and falling with quickness as you straddle his lap, arms connecting behind his neck. 

“You always want to win, right?” He chuckles with half lidded eyes, enjoying the way your pussy lips grinded over his twitching length. You bat your eyelashes at him, offering him an innocent smile. The same technique that used to get you everything you wanted when you were younger. Same determination as you seek for what’s yours. He’s under you after all, still a victim to your charms.

Jungkook takes the bulbous head of his cock and teases it in your clit, if you weren’t holding on to him tight you would’ve collapsed into his chest. And by the way you moan his name out, he knows you’ll always look for him no matter the weather. “What a pretty girl,” he coos into your hair and you pinch his nipple in retaliation which only makes him groan in return. “My pretty girl.” He states before sinking himself deep into you again, sighing at the feeling of your hips circling over him. His rough hands guide them as you bounce up and down his length, moaning every time you rose and hissing when you came back down. 

He makes sure to keep this image engraved on his head forever. Your breasts bouncing over his face, your thighs working extra hard to keep up with his thrusts, and the way your sounds bounced off the walls of your bedroom. 

“You’re doing s-so good, baby.” Jungkook praises you, kneading your ass cheek. “Taking my cock s-so well,” he falls into a trance of admiring the way his length would appear and disappear inside of you, covered in a thick layer of your arousal. It makes him drill into you faster, sitting properly against the bed’s headboard as he takes your hips with force. He’s too turned on to keep treating you so delicately, and the way you moan and pant at the increase in speed only lets him know you enjoy him like this way more. “I-Is it good, baby? Am I-I fucking you well?” He asks in between rapid thrusts, your thighs had given out by then. 

You nod and a whimper escapes your lips, “Y-yes, Guk-Ah. S-so good, feels amazing.” Your praise is honest, the fucked out tone in your voice is a clear indicator of how well of a job he was doing. A minute longer and you’ll be right on cloud nine, never wanting to come back down. “Wanna cum Guk-Ah, plea—“ There’s no need for you to even finish your sentence because his thumb rubs your clit in figure eights, making you groan with the intensified feeling of his hips circling inside you deliciously. You can almost see the blinding white light ahead as Jungkook kisses you feverishly. You feel tears escape the corners of your high, the familiar feeling tickling inside you as Jungkook’s thrusts don’t let up. ‘‘Ah! Yes, yes, fuck,’’ you cry out once your orgasm hits. Jungkook holds you close to his chest, trying to soothe your shaking body with his arms. Your walls squeeze and relax continuously around him, it serves him as the impulse he needs to chase his own high. 

‘‘I love you, Jungkook,’’ you confess in between panting breaths, ‘‘so much.’’ 

His release shoots out and he groans, digging crescent moons into your hips. You hiss at the sensation, but giggle at how his eyes are screwed shut and brows still furrowed together, as if he was holding on to the last of his orgasm. In reality, Jungkook is just hoping that once he opens his eyes you’ll still be in his arms. Your fingers tilting his head to face you are very much real, he sees spots once he opens his eyes as they adjust to the room’s lighting. 

‘‘I love you too.’’ He says with a fixed gaze and you coo at how perfect this is.

You’re twenty-two when Jungkook’s finally yours.

You’re both twenty-three and it’s another weekend spent at his apartment, he’s been playing for three hours now and you’ve given up on having him pay attention to you. Deciding to switch your plan around and join him instead, if only he would let you play.

‘‘Jungkook, you said it was going to be my turn five rounds ago!’’ You complain with a pout, crossing your arms across your chest. 

His gaze is still stuck on the T.V screen, ‘‘Baby, shhh, you’re gonna make me lose.’’ He mumbles as he tries to remain concentrated on the game in hand, but he can hear your humph’s from behind him, ‘‘Patience is a─’’

‘‘Virtue, yeah, who cares.’’ You interrupt him with a roll of your eyes, familiar with the saying a little too well. ‘‘Hope you remember that for later tonight,’’ you add in a mumble, but he doesn’t hear it because of the loud sounds coming from the game on the screen. 

‘‘What did you say, babe?’’ He asks with a raised brow, hitting the buttons of the controller with expert ease. 

‘‘I’ll call your mom and tell her you don’t wanna share.’’ You joke with a threatening voice, but Jungkook knows better than to take your words so lightly. He pauses the game and turns to look at you with an are you serious? expression on his face, you giggle as you’ve finally got what you wanted. 

He apologizes by covering your face with kisses, pleading for you not to tell on him with his mom. You promise not to do so this time, knowing that the woman was probably tired of having to scold his son at his big age. 

Plus, ever since Jungkook surprised you with the almost exact replica of the Valentine’s Day card you gave him all those year back, you’ve taken advantage to tease him even more knowing he’s at your beck and call. You always remind him that he came close because the stickers he used were not like the ones you had, but he remembered to add the hearts on the I’s so that’s good enough. 

‘‘Alright you can play, but━!’’ He says after he finishes his attack of kisses, ‘‘I’ll be your guide, I can’t risk you messing my record up, no offense baby.’’ None taken as you nod excitedly, you’ll always take whatever chance he gives you. 

Jungkook’s finally learned how to share his toys after all.

[huangbae]

꒰ 2000 LINE + MARK REACTING TO... ꒱

....you being clingy <33

a/n: aaaa running out of gifs to use D: also this fic is fluff + the slightest bit of crack, anyways enjoy <3

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

< MARK >

you were both working on a group project

which you both may or may not have procrastinated on

the project was due in the morning

and it was 12:34 am

“y/n pass me the glue stick”

“for a kiss, maybe”

he dismissed you and shooed you away playfully

and got up to get the glue stick himself

everything was going fine

until you sat on his lap while he was trying to glue the pictures onto the posterboard

“y/n i hate you”

he cursed under his breath

then put his head on your shoulder

continued to do the project

you also did your part

while still in his lap

it took you like an hour to finally finish

you guys just stayed on the floor for a few minutes

then he picked his head up and said “you’re so unprofessional y/n, y’know that? (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞”

< RENJUN >

you were both walking back to your car after a date

he was walking slightly faster than you

so you ran up to him

trying to catch up

he took that as an invitation to start sprinting

you started whining at him

you eventually caught up to him

and instinctively wrapped your arm around his waist

“i’m never letting go”

it was subtle but he rlly liked it

he tried to express it but

he ended up going

“y-y/n i swear to god..”

after a few seconds of silence

he returned the favor and wrapped his arm around your shoulder

after you got into the car you held his hand while you were driving

he tried to avoid you by staring out of the window

but you ended up seeing his reflection

he looked so cute

:D personified

“i had fun with you today, renjun :))”

“alright thats enough :,)”

< JENO >

he dragged you on the ferris wheel w him

you were holding onto him the whole time

bcs you have a fear of heights

“y/n i can’t feel my arms .•́ _ʖ •̀.”

“jeno please i’m scared—”

just let you hold on

when you guys reached the top you closed your eyes and put your head on his chest

he didn’t know what to do so he just

pat your head

he could feel you breathing

he wasn’t uncomfortable just a little squished

considering you were smothering the hell out of him

“are we almost done jeno?”

“....i mean, i guess?”

you looked up to see where you were

and you were still at the very top of the ferris wheel

“JENO”

he laughed at you

but he felt bad

so after you got off the ride he treated you to a caramel apple

apology accepted

< HAECHAN >

you just got home from work

you heard “y/n, i’m in here!” coming from the kitchen

you walked in and he was cooking you dinner

he refused to let you help though

he wanted to treat you

bcs you worked rlly hard

“after this is done we can watch a movie, then we can cuddle, and i can give you a back massage—”

while he was cooking you found yourself being rlly touchy w him

like just backhugging him while he was cutting vegetables

and holding his hand while he was waiting for the food in the oven to finish

not to mention the fact that you were calling him pet names the whole time

he almost imploded bcs he just felt so loved

after you both ate he carried you to the couch

and he rubbed your back while you both watched a movie

he also played with your hair while he whispered into your ear

“days like today remind me of how it felt when i first fell in love with you”

hdbfjdjfjjsndj

< JAEMIN >

jaemin didn’t really do that much pda w you anymore

and it kinda stung bcs

it was jaemin

and he was always touchy w the dreamies in public

but when it was with you

you could tell he was restraining himself a little bit

so when the dreamies invited you and jaemin to go shopping w them one day

you started being rlly affectionate

just to show him that you liked skinship

it was just kinda hard bcs he didn’t return the favor

so when the dreamies were off in a different section of the store

you asked him what was up

“i mean, do you not like pda with me? if not, i’m sorry, please just let me know because if you don’t wanna wedon’thavetoitsoka—”

“nononono y/n i do!! i just thought you didn’t like it i’m sorry :(((( i shouldve asked you oh god i’m sorry iloveyouandihopeyoucanforgiveme—”

yeah so long story short you made up

the dreamies came back just as jaemin was planting a bunch of kisses on your forehead

“jaemin wtf”

“shut up if you have a problem go somewhere else (ง'̀-'́)ง”

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

i hope you enjoyed ^^ tysm for reading !! if you’d like to see me write something, send a request !! i’m sort of out of ideas rn, thats why i haven’t been posting as much so if you’d send a request, that’d be awesome !!

~ with love, huangbae :)

[chewiedon]

BURDEN | RENGOKU K.

request: “If you read the manga I want it to be based off mugant train and then to au. I don't want to spoil it but if you read I think you know what happens😅. And I hope that you will make my request. And thank you for reading it.”

a/n: HI IM NOT DEAD???!! IVE SEEN THE REQUESTS IN MY INBOX AND IM WORKING ON THEM. TYSM FOR 100 FOLLOWERS 💕💕💕💕

MANGA SPOILERS FOR THE MUGEN TRAIN ARC!!

//; since the requester didn’t specify anything specific, the prompt was tanjiro telling kyojurou’s wife that her husband is dead.

Nights were usually lonely, but you didn’t mind. Senjuro visited you regularly and Kyojuro made sure to come home to you at least twice a week, no matter how short it was the company was always nice. Lonely weeks were long, but no matter how unmoving the moon seemed to be in the night sky the night always had to come to an end one way or another.

Tanjiro was unusually sullen, it was understandable after getting pushed to the ground by the head of the Rengoku family and having to tell them about the loss of their eldest son. His stomach ached, but not from the wound that his previous battle had left him. The burgundy boy looked around the houses that were laid out in front of him, the closer Tanjiro approached your estate the more Kyojuro Rengoku’s words reverberated through his ears.

“My wife, please tell her I love her. Tell her to love after me, no matter how reluctant she may be at first.”

Tears began to well up in his crimson eyes.

“My only regret is not spending enough time with her, tell her I’m sorry for being such an irresponsible husband.”

The kanji of Rengoku’s family name engraved on the front of your estate mocked Tanjiro and his wet cheeks. After a minute and half of gaining his composure, he huffed and stepped inside. Calloused knuckles tapping the corner of the shoji door.

“My name is Tanjiro Kamado of the demon slayer corps, I am to relay Rengoku-san’s last wishes to you! Please pardon the interruption so late at night.”

His throat felt tight as the sweet smell of you seemed to almost choke him, grief and salt radiated off of you. He could tell that before you even opened the door.

“It’s no issue, please come in.”

Dark circles were under your eyes, the muscles in your cheeks sore as you tried your best to smile for the boy.

“I’m assuming you went to the original Rengoku Estate first, due to how late it was,” you had mentioned as Tanjiro slipped off his zori.

He bobbed his head, “Yes ma’am, it was surprising how harsh the father is. Is that why you live in a separate estate?”

“My name is (Y/N), no need for a ma’am. Please make yourself at home, I’ll brew some tea.” You rushed down the halls, ignoring his question.

Tanjiro looked at the poorly lit place and glanced down the dark hallways. Everything had a nice atmosphere of it, but the smell of grief seemed to weigh him down. The burgundy boy didn’t want to stay, but at the same time he did. The thing he probably needed the most was a decent bed to spread out on, but he also wanted to give you time by yourself to mourn. With a heavy sigh he sat himself at the low table you poured hot tea into tall bamboo cups.

“I will relay the message…”

“He loves you, very much. He told you to love after him no matter how unwilling you may be at first,” he started.

The lump in your throat prevented air from entering your lungs, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from breaking down again.

“He called himself an irresponsible husband, but-” Tanjiro stopped mid sentence when he looked up and saw the small bullets of sweat run down your forehead.

Before he knew it, he was choking on his own sobs. Palming at the handguard Senjuro gave him earlier that day buried in his pocket. He wanted to apologize, he felt responsible for your pain. No matter how hard he tried he couldn’t bring himself to speak to you, it was too hard. He didn’t know what to say, to ease the ongoing burden on your shoulders.

Breathlessly, you spoke, “Thank you, I’ll… try to mourn him the way he’d want me to. He wouldn’t want me to cry, he’d worry.”

“It’s okay to cry, it makes you human.” Those words broke you, quietly as possible you wailed. Your cheeks stained with tears, desperately trying to apologize to your guest. His own eyes glossy, trying not to cry for the upteenth time about your husband. Tanjiro couldn’t do anything but sit there, he felt helpless but he came to do one thing.

Voice cracking, he continued, “He regrets not spending much time with you, he wants you to be happy I’m sure of it.”

An orchestra of emotions flooded inside your chest, your body shaking. Everything was loud inside your head, all of the memories of Kyojuro to when you first met him and when you kissed him goodbye for that mission. You should’ve convinced him to stay, you should’ve fed the bad feeling in your gut at the moment.

With a heavy heart, and a stone in his stomach Tanjiro took his leave. He could only endure your image and smell for so long. His knees buckled after taking 20 steps out the door and crying all over again.

You were used to long nights, nothing but staring at the moon until it disappeared over the tall trees and the roofs of houses. No matter how unmoving the night seemed to be, everything had an end and the nights’ end would come soon enough.

The longest night took your voice, and your husband. Allowing you to do nothing but bathe in your own grief.

honestly, def not my favorite post ever but yk