#apparently the cw wasn’t enough sadness for clones

[calicos-clones]

Love angsty men with little to no self esteem who go through the emotional journey of finding themselves and their family through trials, tribulations, and cuddles.

…said none of the Bad Batch directors ever as they continue to fuck up all the hard work my therapist has done.

[69misato69]

Ravenous (Il Dottore x Pantalone) ✦ 3k, smut

archive of our own ✦ twitter

masterlist pinned on my profile !

dottore gets back from sumeru and what better way to test out his new remote-controlled vibrator than by using it on pantalone at the celebration dinner?

cw: anal sex, anal fingering, vibrators, blowjobs, handjobs, ejaculation, blood/biting, bondage (hands), gagging, a LOT of orgasms, overstimulation. all practiced in a filthy yet safe manner

Top Dottore x Bottom Pantalone

writer's note: explicit +18 content, please view at your own risk. thank you, have fun !

Pantalone sighed in exhaustion and frustration upon noticing the man sitting by his table. “How many times do I have to tell you? No clones in my office.” he emphasized every word passive-aggressively while shaking the snow off his coat. He had just returned from his evening walk out in the snow, it had become a habit of his to take an extra lap around the perimeter for the past few weeks since it helped clear his mind and dissipate the aching feeling of missing his lover. 

By the time he was done with his outerwear, the clone had already approached him. “You’re hurting my feelings.” the silver-haired man pouted teasingly. Pantalone took a good look at him for the first time ever since he entered the room, and upon closer inspection, he quickly realized that this wasn’t one of the annoying clones that failed to stay out of his hair, inconveniencing him all day and eating away at his funds. But it was, in fact, his Dottore.  

Pantalone didn’t exactly know how he told them apart, with most of them, especially the older ones, the resemblance was uncanny. However, attentive or distracted, sober or drunk out of his mind, Pantalone would always feel it in his heart. And at that very moment, that familiar feeling had returned to his chest. The feeling that was gone from his life ever since Dottore parted and left him stuck with looking at those dull clones all day, taking walks and overworking himself to drown out the sadness. 

“Dottore?” he asked in disbelief. Dottore chuckled, gently pushing Pantalone’s back against the door to glue his lips onto the Ninth’s, the freezing cold lips that longed for Dottore for so long. He grabbed his waist, bound by the embroidered corset and slithered his tongue inside Pantalone’s mouth. Dottore could taste his yearning, the sweet relief of their long-awaited reunion. Though he probably had many questions, feeling Dottore’s lips on his own was enough for Pantalone to soak in the comfort and warmth mindlessly. 

The door behind them suddenly vibrated with a firm knock. Pantalone sighed and brushed Dottore to the other side swiftly. Standing in front of him was his appointed agent. “Good evening, I didn’t want to interrupt you, sir. But the Doctor will be arriving soon, you are expected downstairs for the banquet.” he stated apologetically. Everyone knew that the Ninth hated being disturbed in the evening. 

Pantalone acted surprised, “Oh? But he isn’t supposed to return until next week.” The agent nodded, “Yes, my lord. It turns out he completed the mission early. Would you like me to escort you downstairs?”

Pantalone smiled, “No, thank you, Vasilyev. I’ll be there shortly.” He closed the door. Suddenly it dawned on him that Dottore apparently notified at least a few people for a banquet to be thrown, and that he was not one of those people. He crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow, “Not even a letter?”

Dottore was already tangled around him again, he pressed a kiss on Pantalone’s neck, “You don’t like my surprise?” 

“I…” Pantalone paused, “I do… I missed you dearly.” 

His arms wrapped around Dottore’s neck, his cold body absorbed the heat of the Doctor’s body as he relaxed into his embrace. “I did my best to hurry back. I’d hate to keep you waiting.” Dottore turned him around and headed for the table while leaving gentle kisses on Pantalone’s lips. In a few seconds, Pantalone found himself seated on the harsh marble surface, grinding up against his lover. Dottore caressed his thighs and hips, soon slipping his hand inside the banker’s undergarments. 

“Darling, I don’t think we have the time.” Pantalone warned with a lustful gaze that contradicted his words. He wouldn’t complain even if they were locked in his office until the morning, but timing was truly unfortunate. “This won’t take long.” Dottore’s fingers circled around his hole, “Just a neat little gadget I stumbled upon while I was in Sumeru.”

Pantalone felt his hips raise as a finger slowly entered him. He waited curiously, moaning softly into Dottore’s mouth as one finger became two, only to be replaced with a small, round object. “How does it feel?” Dottore asked. 

Pantalone was confused, usually when Dottore found something or invented it himself for the two of them to try, it would always leave him mind blown, but this time, the sensation was disappointingly underwhelming. “I mean… it’s not very satisfactory in terms of size.” Pantalone tried to sugarcoat it. 

Dottore dipped his hand in his pocket with a chuckle, “The size is hardly the point.”

“Then why did you—Fuck! Stop it.” Pantalone gasped when he felt a strong vibration ripple through his lower body. His eyes widened as he finally figured out what the device was for, it really wasn’t filling, but the way it stimulated him with just a few waves was otherworldly. Pantalone was speechless, the frequencies changed as Dottore’s hand moved inside his pocket, piloting what he assumed was a remote controller. Dottore couldn’t help but chuckle at his lover’s stunned expression. 

“What’s wrong? I thought you’d enjoy it.”  

“I do. But, take it out now. We should leave and I certainly can’t face people like this.”

“Are you back, Regrator?” Pulcinella’s voice echoed from behind the door. 

“Yes, just a moment.”

“Come on then, we must get going.”

Dottore whispered in his ear, “Dinner will be more interesting this way, don’t you think, my love?” Pantalone pulled on his shirt’s collar, “Don’t you dare use it until we’re alone.” As soon as he finished his sentence, he felt another wave pulsate between his cheeks, he covered his own mouth, muffling a loud moan at the last second. 

“What did I just say?!”

“We are alone.” 

Pantalone scoffed, Dottore helped him get off the table and kissed his nape, “Don’t forget your zipper, Regrator.”

“A moment of your time, please.” Pierro clanked his utensil against the glass to get everyone’s attention. All the harbingers and high-ranking agents aside from a few aristocrats associated with the Fatui in secret were scattered around the table, sipping their drinks and asking Dottore about his journey, they immediately fell silent upon the call. Pierro cleared his throat, “We are gathered here today to welcome the Doctor home, and of course, to celebrate his monumental victory.” Loud claps and half-drunk yells of encouragement and praise echoed through the giant hall, “Dottore, a few words?”

Dottore laughed as he stood up, bowing with his head to those sitting near, especially the Ninth seated right beside him. “Thank you all. I don’t have much to say except, it feels great to be back.” he slipped his hand in his pocket and held his drink with the other, simultaneously Pantalone started coughing shakily, the sip he just took going down the wrong pipe. 

“Are you alright, Pantalone?” Columbina handed him a glass of water. “Does my return excite you that much, Regrator?” Dottore jested, giggles and laughter gradually filled the room, even Pierro’s lips curled upward. 

Pantalone gripped onto his seat, trying to hold his ground against the vibrations, “I’m okay. Please, do carry on.” he said calmly. Dottore hummed, “Thank you for the honor and the warm welcome, I shall dedicate this to our Fair Lady, may our reign be as ever-lasting as her protection over us.” 

The attendees applauded him once again before returning to their conversations, Dottore leaned close to Pantalone and asked slyly, “Are you enjoying yourself, precious?”

Pantalone had his signature smile plastered on his face, his eyes were squinted while he nodded and agreed at the remarks being made. “Not at all, thank you for asking.” he whispered. Though he appeared to be enjoying himself, only Dottore could see the deathly glare buried in his gaze. 

The rest of the event wasn’t any easier on Pantalone, the worst part was that the remote control’s range was unbelievably wide. Even when Dottore was out of his sight, he could easily activate the device from afar at unexpected moments, making Pantalone tremble with pleasure and embarrassment. He spilled his drink a handful of times and had to list out one too many apologies for his off-putting, unusual behavior. 

Dottore was also exploring a new aspect of the power he held, and that was keeping Pantalone away from people who tried to make a move on him. He was a beautiful man indeed, at banquets, dinners and parties he gathered a lot more attention than he intended to. Furthermore, he was too nice to reject people. 

When Dottore would ask about it, Pantalone would always say that it takes no effort to listen to the compliments and answer with a simple “thank you”, but it definitely did bother Dottore. If people knew that they belonged to each other, no one would dare to even think about courting him, let alone attempt it. Trying to touch what was Dottore’s was no different than a death wish. 

But at least for one night, Dottore could crank up the frequencies all the way up so that Pantalone would be forced to excuse himself from the conversation every single time. Pantalone knew that his lover was a jealous man, he quickly connected the dots to realize the device was maxing out whenever someone poured him a drink, or touched his arm. 

Somehow, he managed to get through the entire night and eventually made his way through the exit, bidding farewell to the rest of the harbingers in exhaustion. 

He rushed to his room and left the door open slightly so that Dottore could enter. He walked inside a few minutes later, finding Pantalone sitting on the bed, rubbing his temples. He stepped towards the banker, running his fingers through the silky, dark locks. 

“You seem tired.” Dottore remarked, “Shall we go to sleep?” A sly grin formed over his lips as Pantalone looked up, restless and uneasy, “You’re an evil man.”

“Yet you love me.”

“Of course I do.” Pantalone snuggled up to his chest, “But it doesn’t change the fact that you are evil.” Dottore smiled and began to strip him, slowly pulling away the many layers Pantalone walked around with all day. “You hid it so well, though. Professional as always.” he laid the dark-haired man down on the bed and reached into the bedroom drawer, “I bet no one could tell what you’d be doing later tonight.” 

“To be fair, I don’t know what I’ll be doing later tonight either, my dear.” Pantalone quipped expectantly. Dottore got on top of him and straddled his hips while tying the banker’s hands above his head with a black leather strap. He chuckled, “Isn’t that the best part?” 

Pantalone hummed, it was true, the Doctor was full of surprises, it was one of the many virtues that made him so enticing. He placed a kiss on Pantalone’s lips before gagging him with a ball that made its way around his head. The restraints discomforted Pantalone until he got used to the feeling, Dottore kissed his body up and down soothingly, assisting him while he settled down. 

“I know you’re on edge.” the silver-haired man moved down to lightly bite his inner-thighs, “But you can enjoy it freely now.” He reached for the remote to set a medium pace and strength for the vibrations. Pantalone’s moans stayed muffled on the gag as Dottore left a long lick from his base all the way up to the tip. 

“Also, if you really wanted me to turn it off… Well, you’d know exactly how to stop me.” his fingers wrapped around Pantalone’s cock, sliding back and forth to send shivers down the banker’s spine. 

“But I knew you wouldn’t.” Dottore unchastely sucked on the tip, “Because I know that deep down, you’re just as sick as I am.” Pantalone was unable to hold even a single muscle in place. He melted away at his lover’s touch, his lewd words, his restraints that left Pantalone completely vulnerable and at his mercy. “Even when you hide it behind that innocent smile, I can see the monster underneath.” Dottore went for his soft, porcelain thighs again and dug his teeth in deep, imagining the scream Pantalone would let out if he was able to do so. 

“That’s how I know we’re made for each other.”

Tears wetted Pantalone’s face as he struggled to hold still, blood seeped out of the spot the Doctor marked, he tasted the thick, crimson drops forming on his other half’s thigh. The banker’s hair and skin color contrasted each other beautifully, adding red to the mix was the cherry on top for Dottore. He absolutely adored Pantalone, especially when he was all laid out like this, it felt like feasting on a meal, tasting all the different courses, eager to move on to the next. 

Experimentation was what Dottore found most thrilling, and it was no different when it came to their relationship. He found joy in testing Pantalone’s limits, seeing how much he could take, and bringing out this twisted, indulgent side of him. At first, Dottore used to think that Pantalone was too shy and selfless to stop him, but over time he realized that he also enjoyed being in this state of helplessness, so long it was controlled by Dottore. 

Pantalone loved being preyed on, he adored the way Dottore devoured every part of him, oftentimes worshiping him like a god and degrading him like a sewer rat when he felt like it. He loved getting red, puffy cheeks coated with salty tears, he loved the bruises and the marks, he loved tasting his own blood off of Dottore’s tongue, he loved every batshit crazy method the mad scientist would deploy on him. 

Now that his blood was dried up, Dottore’s lips were wrapped around his cock, sliding with ease and sucking on the areas he knew to be sensitive. It didn’t take long before semen shot out his tip, finally breaking free from the shackles of being pent-up all night. Dottore swallowed with pleasure, cleaning all the excess from Pantalone’s groin as the bitter taste corrupted his palette. 

He reached for the remote and put it on a higher setting before the banker had any time to recover. The veins on his forehead and arms were becoming more visible, strained with pleasure and lust. Being unable to breathe properly was making him dizzier by the second, but Pantalone knew that Dottore wouldn’t let him pass out, instead he would keep him on the verge of collapse for hours on end, making sure he was alert enough to squirm at every wave of pleasure, but not strong enough to do anything about it. 

He was the Doctor after all, an expert on human biology, and an insatiable lover when it came to his darling Pantalone. The dark-haired man sank even more into the mattress, parting his legs to their limits as he slithered under Dottore. 

“That’s perfect, spread them even wider for me.” Dottore grinned as he squeezed his thighs, “You wanna cum again, don’t you?” 

Pantalone shook his head up and down needily. “So unfortunate, no one took care of you while I was gone?” Dottore’s question was coated with fake pity, “You could always ask one of the clones.” 

Pantalone shook his head left and right this time, though much more violently. “No?” Dottore’s brows raised, he liked teasing Pantalone about the clones, knowing how much he hated them. To the banker, they were nothing but cheap copies, taunting him at any chance, it disgusted him to even look at them, let alone get intimate with one. 

Pantalone whined, his gaze pointed down, then up again at the Doctor’s face. “ Oh , you want me, I see.” Pantalone hummed faintly. Dottore stripped and slicked himself before lining up with his entrance, Pantalone’s eyes widened, curious to see if Dottore would take it out first or slip in directly. He did the latter, pushing the device even further into Pantalone’s prostate while stretching him out. 

Tears streamed down his pale face as he felt fingers wrap around his cock and work it out viciously. Too much. It was more than he could handle, mind-bending heights of pleasure splitting his mind open as his whole body was rocked left and right. 

It was hard to distinguish where one orgasm ended and the other began, cum kept leaking out of him, wetting his own groin and stomach. Dottore wouldn’t stop unless he drained all of it, leaving Pantalone a shriveled husk, a sensitive and satisfied, well-fed mess. Dottore lifted his legs and threw them over his shoulder, adjusting Pantalone to be even tighter. “I love it when you cry. So pretty.” he purred, “You look so desperate.” 

Pantalone looked up at him with reddened eyes as he hyperventilated through his nose. “I’m lucky to be the one messing you up like this.” Dottore pressed a kiss onto his thigh. Pantalone left his body to spasm freely and unravel under his lover until his orgasms turned dry, physically unable to release any more. Dottore turned off the device and took it out before inserting himself back in. His tip racked against the sensitive, abused bundle of nerves deep within Pantalone. 

He finally let go as well, spilling inside with an intense wave of pleasure. Pantalone closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth, the peace of his overly-satisfied state. Dottore leaned forward without pulling out and released the knot on Pantalone’s wrists and at the back of his head. Without letting him take a deep breath, he pressed a passionate kiss onto the banker’s lips, now with his freed hands Pantalone tangled his fingers in Dottore’s silver locks, clinging onto him with gratitude. 

As they pulled away, Pantalone’s eyes began to shift, exhaustion washed over him while he pulled Dottore to his side. They laid in an embrace, and when Dottore finally attempted to pull out, Pantalone protested with a whine. “No? You’ll sleep like this?” Dottore chuckled. 

Pantalone didn’t answer, he nuzzled his face on his lover’s neck, unable to resist the need for rest any longer. Dottore held him close and kissed his head lovingly, “Okay, I’ll clean you up.”

Pantalone mumbled faintly, “Night…”

“Goodnight, my beloved.”

Dottore witnessed the room fall to silence, all he could hear was Pantalone’s deepened breaths as he drifted off to sleep. He laid beside the dark-haired man he adored, placing soothing kisses all over his illuminated face before pulling away to clean him up for a night of well-deserved rest.  

[hellothere-generalangsty]

Fives - Anchor

Pairing: Fives x reader

Word Count: 1450 words

CW/ TW: Angst; mourning/loss, death, letter, anniversary, pain, brooding, it’s very heavy and sensitive so please proceed with caution and let me know if I didn’t TW something you deemed necessary; also a bit more hopeful/ light toward the end because my heart couldn’t handle that much sadness tonight

Tags: @chaoticvampirejedi @loth-wolffe @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s @tacticalsparkles @imalovernotahater @canwestayinthisdream @wakeupjackthisisntfair @namesmox @badbatch-simp24 @lightning-wolffe @maddieskywalker @for-the-love-of-clones @m-e-w-117 @99squad

@ladykatakuri @firelordillyria @andiebell2023

Notes: I guess I missed him a lot tonight… Sorry for the pain

Some elements included in this fic are inspired from chats I had with @m-o-o-n-s-g-o-o-n-s ; thank you little moon for being an inspiration to me 🌙

Iridescent - Linkin Park

.

0000.

Happy anniversary Fives.

Though I don’t see how it could be happy, when you’re everywhere but here. I never grew used to your absence, I never could; not when you’re haunting my every move, haunting this place and this world, finding your way back to me through faint memories and thousand of faces walking up to my office every day, asking me about my day and if I feel well.

I have to look at the ghost of you, every single time, and lie.

“I’m fine. What can I do for you?”

And I hear your voice again, and again. It tells me about the pain running through your back, the nightmares hitting harder than usual, and the fear eating you alive every time you get out of your hard, cold bed.

But it’s not you. It never is. I never could be.

I stopped buying your shampoo. I couldn’t even bring myself to finish the bottle we had in the shower. It’s still there, hidden somewhere in the bathroom, waiting to be emptied and thrown away carelessly, in such a mundane way one could so easily forget about it. But I can’t throw it away; it’s not mundane anymore.

I hid the jewels too, except for the bracelet. I hate to wear it, but I hate even more to put it away. I just feel…I feel naked when I don’t have it, and empty when I do. I can’t help but see you – feel you – through the shades of blue and black. What was once the purest blessing turned into the worst curse, and I can’t break it. I almost did – breaking the bracelet. I almost did.

I could if I really wanted to; but then I would lose you again, and I just…

I gave your aprons to the boys. I couldn’t stand to see them, neatly hanging in the kitchen. They were silly anyway, and I had no use for them. I’m a doctor after all, not a cook.

I published my thesis on the clones’ rights, and it is being presented to the Senate by Senator Amidala as we speak. I told her I wouldn’t be able to be there for her discourse, and she simply hugged me. I wish she hadn’t.

0527.

It’s been a year, yet it feels like yesterday. Everyone moved on; everyone but me, and I can’t help but be mad. I am mad that they forgot so easily about you, that they brushed you off as “another collateral damage”, another…clone. It’s the way they say it when they try to comfort me.

You were more than a clone. More than a soldier, and more than a man.

You were Fives.

You were my anchor, and I was your ocean.

I miss the way you said it. Coming home to me, tired, features drained and eyes darkened by the horrors of your latest campaign; but always soft and caring through the hoarseness of your voice as you whispered it against my skin. You always found a way to be there for me; for everyone, even when you were losing yourself in your own prison.

I am mad at you because of that. Because you couldn’t stand back for once, be egoistic and think of yourself instead of trying to play the hero in the dark. They killed you because you didn’t wait, not even when I asked you – begged you to. I am so angry because I called you an idiot, and all you could answer me was “I love you too, my ocean. My anchor.”

You didn’t even let me say it back.

1134.

I am mad at myself. You trusted me enough to tell me everything, and you knew I would believe you. And when you tried to do something about it, I called you an idiot. I wasn’t even there with you; I should have been there with you. I could have saved you.

Fives…

I remember the first time you came home. At the time, it was still “my place”, but the moment you stepped in it stopped being mine only. I always told you to come by if you needed; and the one time you did, we ended up laughing so hard the neighbour had to knock at the door. But it felt good. I guess that day I gave you a part of myself, and you carried it with you ever since. I suppose it died with you, too.

I know I shouldn’t be so broody; I can almost hear you, your chuckles filling the room, your hands pressing down my shoulders as you tell me “it’s a celebration, smile for me!”; and the smell of that shampoo tickling my nose as you come close to lay a kiss on my cheek…

But now the only thing I can feel are the tears, and that twisting ache in my chest, burning my skin and ripping my lungs apart. I can’t even breathe correctly anymore, I…

1745.

I’m sorry I had you waiting.

I fell asleep on the table, and woke up because of the cold. It’s always cold in here now. I borrowed one of your old sweatshirt - I hope you don’t mind. I kept them. I almost gave them to the boys, along with the aprons; but then I thought they could always come in handy.

They do. When days like today happens; days where I feel too lonely, where I miss you too much and it just feels too cold, I slip into one and hold it so close to me it almost feels like you’re here. My arms become yours, your faint perfume comes back to me fresh and soft, and I sometimes swear I can feel your warmth against my skin. I close my eyes when I do that, and it stops being a dream for a second.

For just a second, you’re back. You never truly left.

And when I open my eyes again; when I realise what it is all about, I still feel you. I see the bracelet, smell the black tissue, watch one of these B movie we used to laugh at and somehow I feel the best and worst I’ve felt in a long time.

I wish you were here. I wish I could tell you how much I missed you and how beautiful you are; if I could hold you tight, one last time... I didn’t even get to hug you one last time. I didn’t know it would be it; else I wouldn’t have let you go.

Echo is supposed to come around today. He told me he would. He didn’t forget about you either, you know. Neither did Rex, or Jesse, or Kix. Your vode didn’t forget about you. They always make sure to keep you alive, tell everyone about you and remember them of who you were.

Echo always says you’re his best friend. He never uses the past tense. I can’t blame him; I still say you’re the love of my life whenever people ask me. I guess we know deep down these things will never change. We don’t want it to change.

Wait, someone knocked.

2226.

When was the last time we laughed like that? For once, we turned the tears into something better; lighter. I’m sure you would be proud of us.

Of course, you would be proud of us.

It almost feels good to see you through Echo; to find glimpses of you in his smile, the faint spark in his eyes when he retells your best pranks, and the way he chuckles...I almost feel at home right now. With you. Not quite, but close enough.

Enough to make me smile, for the first time today.

Echo says hi. He’s watching me writing to you. He asked me to tell you that Rex lit a candle for you this morning, and the boys had a little something for you; but I can’t know what; apparently I “wouldn’t understand anyway”. So I hope – we hope – that you liked it.  We’re probably going to watch a bad movie and mock the poor acting until we fall asleep, and tomorrow we will…We’ll probably think of you again, but hopefully there won’t be as much tears as today.

I guess it’s a battle worth fighting. Not for the Republic or the Greater Good; not for the Senate or the Chancellor. Not for the Jedis or the Galaxy.

No, it’s a battle we fight for you, Fives. Let us be your anchor, for once, and rest easy now, because more than anything or anyone else out there… you deserve it.

2359.

Happy anniversary Fives.

I love you too, my Anchor.

 - Your Ocean.

[thesummerstorms]

Rev Recaps Hard Contact (Chapter 13)

CW: mentions of past attempted sexual assault & dealing with the attacker, mind influence/control

TL:DR Recap: Darman and Etain are finally reunited with the rest of Omega. Unfortunately, Guta-Nay is also there. Etain and the squad develop a plan, but it involves sending Guta-Nay to his death.

Beginning Kal Count: 24 Ending Kal Count: 25

We open with what’s honestly one of my favorite exchanges between Niner and Fi, and I can’t resist screenshotting it right off the bat:

“Hey, Sarge, I’m being positive.”

“Are you on drugs?”

Fi noticing that Niner is on edge and offering to swap and Niner being too stubborn to do it,even though he specifically hates doing that exact job.

They’re still dragging Guta-Nay around with the, which unfortunately means this chapter is whenI have to start dealing with him. But even as Niner tries to press him for more info, Guta-Nay is too stupid to give it. Even when Niner plays charades to get his point across.

Atin sens up a remote to scout ahead of them, and they accidentally end up spying on Darman, who aims a gun at the remote but luckily refrains from shooting it.

I legitimately can’t tell you why I love that scene. I just do. Anyway, within five minutes they finally, finally rendezvous with Darman and Etain. Etain is having a hard time adjusting to actually seeing Niner, Fi, and Atin, even though intellectually she already knew that Darman was clone. Fi makes a joke about Guta-Nay smelling bad. Etain asks for Omega’s names. Someone was about to introduce themselves as a CC (clone commander) rather than an RC (Republic Commando) again, but she cuts them off.

Darman was the first one to break the rule with Jusik, but he’s been embarrassed every time it comes up, and it clearly now embarrasses him to break the taboo around his squad, even if Etain’s been calling him by his name for a while. Social conditioning is intense. However, this time Fi and Niner introduce themselves as well, where as I think last time it was just Atin.

... unfortunately, I now have to deal with Guta-Nay.

Again, Etain’s meant to be Jedi, yes, but 1000% percent not blaming her for the reaction. I just /love/ how seeing Guta-Nay, who she explicitly calls a rapist and who attempted to attack her, gets to be the trigger for her to be ashamed of her emotions, restrained by one of the male characters (even if it is Dar and he doesn’t know the context) and Niner’s comment about Guta-Nay being useful sends her immediately into a self worth spiral as she ... is she supposed to be comparing herself to Guta-Nay here? Or is this just a reaction because the two emotional triggers are intertwined from this whole experience, or..?

Anyway, isn’t it great? /sarcasm

(Hat tip to Dar for being bold enough to grab a Jedi’s arm while they have their lightsaber ignited, I guess, though.)

Can I... can I just mention that on one hand, I can make a Watsonian interpretation for why Etain’s reaction to being told the person who tried to rape her might have useful information might be for her brain to jump to waiting for Darman to tell her how much he despises her... but on the other hand, I don’t care and I hate Traviss intensely for setting this scene up this way?

But, in what’s going to be pretty typical Etain fashion from this point in the series on, that sense of worthlessness drives her pretty much immediately to action. She asks Niner what information they need, and then sits Guta Nay down across from her, and waits until they’ve both calmed down. And then she immediately sets to using Force-persuasion to convince Guta-Nay to talk. This time, unlike when he was chasing her, she doesn’t struggle with it at all.

side note, there is a kind of sweet moment with Atin and Darman that I like, but it’s weirdly placed- breaks up the rest of the moment from Etain’s pov:

Then we switch to Niner’s pov, probably because Etain is busy with the Weequay and no one actually wants to hear him talk, least of all me as a reader, and also KT needs an opportunity for Omega to be doubtful of Etain.

Niner hates scruffy rig. Darman actually does clean his deecee when nervous; it isn’t just a weird innuendo that someone had to point out to me. Darman pulls out the holomaps that Etain... stole? I just realized I have no idea where she got them. But she’s been guarding them this whole time. He proceeds to praise her, unprompted, but Niner has already been told by Jinart that Etain is useless, so he’s skeptical.

Kal Count of 25. Dar just kind of regrets opening his mouth, I think, and wishes his brother would back off. But he does want to try to defend Etain, even if he’s had his own doubts before this point. So first he tries the standard defense, then when Niner isn’t content with that, he does his best. But Niner is freaked out by Jedi Mind Influence, not reassured like Darman was in the escape scene. I’m not really sure what to even make about “human females” and the fact that KT really needs to drive home that, after being behind enemy lines for three months, Etain has no sex appeal.

There’s also that word “emaciated” again.

Finally, Etain finishes her interrogation. She briefly mistakes Niner for Dar, but immediately corrects herself by saying “Of course, you’re Niner.” She reports on what little she can and offers to try to summon Jinart with the Force.

This is actually a scene that will be recounted again- apparently Darman will tell Kal about it at some point between leaving Qiilura and seeing Etain again in Triple Zero. Skipping a bit ahead, but:

Listen, the thought up Darman telling Kal all about the Jedi he absolutely Doesn’t Have a Crush On, maybe enthusiastically, maybe shyly, should make me smile, except given how Kal will treat their relationship in that book and the things he’ll accuse Etain of, it just makes me sad.

Anyway, I’m digressing. This is clearly a big moment for Niner, and he’s surprised that Etain can tell that Atin has been hurt in particular. I don’t entirely get why Traviss goes back and forth on what motivations/emotions Etain can sense to what strength (say like... her not being able to feel Darman’s grief for Theta squad versus immediately feeling Atin’s grief for his TWO former squads plus the Vau abuse we technically don’t know about till next book.) But I’m always going to rule in favor of her being stronger at Force sense because it’s really her signature Force ability, and Traviss has a bad habit of lowering her ability levels out of nowhere so she can be yelled at.

Niner explains what happened to Atin, and Etain expresses sympathy, and promises to see if there’s a way she can help. She specifically mentions Force encouragement, which makes me a little uncomfortable and which she decides by the next novel never to use again without permission. But Niner, despite his worry a few paragraphs ago, is favorably impressed.

We timeskip and go back to Etain’s point of view then. The commandos notice someone approaching, but it’s only Jinart.

Niner is the member of Omega who gets picked on for being straightlaced, but ngl, I relate to him a lot in this book.

Jinart lets them know that while Hokan is trying to bluff them into thinking Uthan is in the villa, she’s actually back in the facility, which makes me wonder what the point of all those Hokan POV scenes were. They start trying to brainstorm how to get into the facility, which has no extra exits or conspicuous vents because it’s meant to secure a bioweapon, and realize that they’ll still have to deal with the droids in the villa anyway, as close as they are. 

So they decide to try and smuggle in a bomb to take out the villa droids pre-preemptively because Hokan has already (for reason I still don’t understand) filled the basement there with explosives, In order to make it worth while, they want Hokan to think they’ve really fallen for his trick and are headed for the villa only, and thus to put most of the droids there.

A) Shut up,Jinart, you don’t get to be bitter.

B) Etain is already falling into that pragmatism thing. And I don’t think she’s wrong here. But she’s going to have more trouble actually doing it than she thinks.

And then it’s finally time to find out the origin of the gurlanin. Jinart reveals that Qiilura is her homeworld and that the settlers have destroyed her habitat without knowing the gurlanin were there, so she wants all of them, but especially the Trade Federation. Etain says she’ll make sure the Republic follows through, and Jinart threatens- “make sure you do” because the gurlanin are good at being everywhere. It’s foreshadowing for the next three books, of course, which all involve plot points with the gurlanin, as much as I wish I could be rid of them.

So they set about convincing Guta-Nay that there’s another squad and they intend to all attack the villa, except he’s so stupid they barely need to act. We get this really, really, really terrible line from Etain’s point of view:

Listen, this is where I’m drawing a line with this whole thing, Traviss. Because making the rapist who attempted to harm your main character from a race “so stupid that they can barely communicate functionally with humans and are all prone to drinking and criminality” wasn’t bad enough, we now get “the rapist is a monstrous child who isn’t able to control himself or understand that other people have feelings” which is the most bullshit thing in a series FULL of bullshit. No. Fuck that.

On the other hand, we do get one of my top five favorite scenes in the whole book, one of the few moments where Atin and Etain get to have a friendship, and something I really, really, really wish had been built on in later books.

Atin: Making my explosives neatly is WORTH the possibility of getting shot in the ass.

Atin walks her through all the squad’s tech, first letting her hold his deecee and look through the scope, then when she asks letting her try on his helmet and talking her through the HUD. He’s skeptical the whole time, but also, it takes some trust and patience to talk the commander who you are dubious knows her stuff through all of your personal kit. But Atin is the tech guy, and this is his wheelhouse and he shows her that patience. He also talks to her about the (perceived, not necessarily accurate) differences between ARCs, commandos, and troopers as he understands it.

I’m still not comfortable with the Force aspect of this, but it’s walked back in the next book. Atin fumbing the wire and pretending to focus hard because he’s embarrassed. And Etain is very touchy feely- I lose track of how many times in this series she grabs or pats or reaches for someone’s arm or hugs them or kisses them on the cheek.

Then we get to the part that’s actually my favorite:

It’s just... really nice? Seeing Etain get a little bit of respect and a little bit of friendship and feeling it in return? I will never be over the fact that it’s thrown away after this book. In fact, I can’t remember if she and Atin ever speak to each other again.

Eventually they finish up and Etain alternates between trying to sleep and trying to see if Guta-Nay has left yet. A couple of watches change. Fi attempts to feed her and is turned down. And Etain realizes she’s going to have to make Guta-Nay run, directly use Force persuasion to make him want to go back to Hokan, when he’s trusting the Republic to keep its word and not kill him.

It’s a good thing the chapter ends here, because honestly there’s gonna be so much bullshit to unpack in the next chapter, and I’m too tired for that.

[verziehenone]

It’s that time again.  That time for TV shows to bow out for a few months, go into hibernation, and then feverishly work to convince to return to their worlds for more.

Having watched a number of shows hit their finales in recent months, here is my subjective and biased ranking:

Agents of SHIELD

The 100

Z Nation

The Good Place

Arrow

Legion

Supergirl

The Flash

Supernatural

The Legends of Tomorrow

The Vampire Diaries

Superstore

Last Man on Earth

The Walking Dead

Suits

Star Wars: Rebels

Channel Zero

This isn’t a ranking from Good to Bad, but rather in order of ‘I liked it a lot!’ to ‘I could have liked it more’ to ‘It was a finale’.  I don’t think I watched any shows in recent days that I really thought were awful finales, but some were definitely better than others. 

SHIELD was fantastic this season and I can’t even really think of a true ‘lull’ in the action.  First Ghost Rider, then LMDs, then the Framework (’Hydra’) stuff.  Excellent way of divvying up a 23-24 episode season and keeping it fresh and exciting.  Other shows would do well to learn from this example.

The 100 was terrific.  That show keeps blowing me away.  The stories are interesting, the acting and sets and effects are really great, and it’s full of great moments!  The last two seasons have been up and down, but man, those ‘ups’ are really up! 

Z Nation is an oddball to see on here but this show is so ridiculously fun that I have to mention it.  Every episode has some insane ridiculous stupid zombie moment where insane ridiculously stupid things happen to zombies, and then a bad guy says something dumb and then probably dies an episode later and then more stupid ridiculously fun zombie action happens.  So many fun and enjoyable moments of over the top action and effects. 

Odd to see a comedy like this so high?  The Good Place snuck up on me for being a very well written comedy with clever and laugh out loud moments, good acting and special effects, and a very very good finale.  If you haven’t given it a shot, I really really think you should, it’s so surprisingly entertaining.

Arrow did a great job of concluding the present storyline in a BIG way, and also the flashback storyline.  Very interested to see what will happen next season, as the finale left the writers with basically a blank slate regarding ... well ... everything.

Legion.  Wow.  I mean, Noah Hawley is just in a world of his own with directing.  Fargo was instantly a classic (especially season 1) and Legion just proves it wasn’t a fluke.  I loved seeing Dan Stevens break out of his Downton Abbey role in a big way, and obviously Aubrey Plaza was a treat (like always).  The visuals, the music, everything.  And obvs I loved seeing Jemaine Clement.  Because I love seeing him in basically everything.

Supergirl did a great job of being the finale everyone kind of expected and hoped for at the same time.  Big effects, big fights, conclusions to stories, teases for the next season, all of it.  It had more ambition in it than some movies, and did a great job with maximizing the TV budget it had.  And honestly, it’s crazy that this is a TV show.  A decade ago, many of these episodes would have been a movie, for their budget and characters.  And Melissa Benoist is just a treat.

Flash ... well, I love the Flash, but this season wasn’t great, and last wasn’t either.  This was better, but still up and down, very uneven.  The finale was fine, but it had a few things that could have made it much better.  And naturally Barry did a Barry thing in the finale, and despite it actually making sense this time around, it still feels like a pointless cliffhanger.  One of those: Is the main character really dead?  Well, all signs point to Maybe!  (Unless the show got renewed and isn’t Game of Thrones).

Supernatural was pretty solid considering it is in season 10,000.  Sad that Mark Sheppard (Crowley) said he’s not coming back for next year, but maybe it’s a cop out like Ian Somerhalder (Damien) on Vampire Diaries, where it’s really just to ‘sell’ a finale.  I really have enjoyed the last 4 seasons quite a lot and have every intention of tuning in again and again to watch the boys raise havoc and save people (and hunt things) as long as the CW will renew it.

Legends added dinosaurs in the finale, in a city, doing dinosaur things.  This covers a lot of ‘meh’ parts in the finale, though it was pretty solid overall.  I mean, when a season is about getting the Spear of Destiny and then needing to use the Blood of Christ that is buried in a battlefield (that you retrieve during a battle) so that 3 baddies don’t destroy all the things ... well, it’s an insane premise that was well delivered, just not incredibly well.  More Captain Cold is always a good thing though!

Vampire Diaries finally ended, and it ended in (some) ways that people expected, and others that were still (somewhat) surprising.  It smartly left teases to storylines unexplored that will likely payoff in The Originals, and allow us to continue visiting some characters again, but it didn’t feel like a cheap finale for a show that over and over surprised me with how fun and insane it was. 

Both Superstore and Last Man on Earth had finales that reset the status quo and will get me back.  Partly because they’re both terrific in different ways, and partly because both could use a bit of a shakeup in ‘the formula’.  They were fine finales but not ‘OH MY GOSH HAVE YOU SEEN’ finales. 

A simple summary of The Walking Dead finale: from literally the first 2 minutes I could have told you how at least part of it would end.  But some parts were still very entertaining, while other were ... predictably dumb.  This was a very up and down season with a lot of flaws that hopefully will be corrected and some story problems that seemed so simple to resolve.

Suits teased a change that seemed like it took an eternity to get here, despite being eminently enjoyable to watch it come to fruition, still took a thousand years to happen.  It was renewed, so it will be neat to see how it changes things going forward.  And, considering the upcoming spinoff, I wonder if Suits is coming to a close?

Rebels ... next season is your last.  I have mixed feelings about this.  Where was Ahsoka this last season?  I guess that was the answer to season 2′s finale... but come on.  That better not be the answer.  I’m excited for some of the teases for next season, hopeful Thrawn keeps being menacing, and intrigued about how they end it.  And mostly I’m interested to see when Disney will announce the next animated show, hopefully set in another interesting era where we can see big names do big stuff (ala Clone Wars).  Still hopeful that Ezra goes darkside.  We’ll see.

Channel Zero surprised me with how incredibly slow burning the entire show was, taking its sweet old time to add in the scares and the dread.  I enjoyed every episode and thought the finale ended it sufficiently, but it wasn’t as good as the prior episodes.  Here’s hoping that season 2 ends up with a similar slow burn feel.

And the following are ones that have aired but I haven’t yet watched:

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Modern Family

Jane the Virgin

Bobs Burgers

Elementary

Samurai Jack

12 Monkeys

The Expanse

Into the Badlands

Yeah, I’ll get there.  I watch a few of these with my wife, so it’s a ‘when we get to it’ kind of thing (Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Modern Family, Jane the Virgin, Bobs Burgers), and a few (Samurai Jack, 12 Monkeys) I haven’t watched any of this season.  And Elementary, while I really really enjoy it, I am at least 2-3 seasons out.  The Expanse is the sci-fi show everyone should be watching but not enough are and I think it’s going to end up cancelled before it really hits its stride (and as far as I understand, it got terrifically better in season 2 after a very strong season 1).  Into the Badlands is the show (frankly) that Iron Fist wishes it was and I really need to watch season 2, but its one of those shows you have to watch without doing other things (which tends to be what I do).

And there’s ones that are a still a ways out:

The Originals

The Leftovers

Better Call Saul

Doctor Who

Steven Universe

Adventure Time

Gotham

Fargo

American Gods

Prison Break

Twin Peaks

So much excellent TV in this!  The Originals has been good, The Leftovers is on its way out (and seems to be maintaining its quality and momentum), and what I say that hasn’t been said about Better Call Saul?  Doctor Who has been completely amazing this season, easily the best Capaldi season, and up there with the best ‘Nu Who’ seasons, in my opinion (and many others’).  Steven Universe is so much fun and I know Adventure Time is on the way out ... sad sad sad.  Can’t wait to share that with my son when he’s older.  Gotham is insane and campy and stupid and I’ll absolutely tune in in the fall.  Fargo has been good this season after a kind of ‘meh’ season 2.  American Gods is a great adaptation of the book, and a great show really in every respect.  Blown away by the quality!  And I haven’t actually started Prison Break but I fully expect to enjoy it (and be sad since apparently it isn’t getting renewed again).  Um and Twin Peaks is a show that I don’t understand but am watching season 2 so I can watch season 3. 

And ones that are about to start:

Dark Matter

Killjoys

Fear the Walking Dead

Rick and Morty

Orphan Black

Preacher

Dark Matter isn’t amazing but it’s serviceable, while Killjoys is so so so much fun.  Fear is still figuring itself out but season 2 was much better than season 1 (where they totally abandoned their premise about 2 episodes in).  Rick and frickin’ Morty.  When are we getting more, Dan Harmon??!??!  And lastly, Orphan Black, I can’t believe it’s almost time to say goodbye.  Tatiana Maslany better get some killer roles after this because she is a stellar actress and this show is so good, I hope the finale does it justice.  And Preacher is just insane in the best way.

That’s all for my TV thoughts for now.  I didn’t include Netflix-type binge shows but I watched a lot of those too (Iron Fist, 3%, The OA, Between, Travelers, Santa Clarita Diet, The Crown).  Or shows I might want to watch but haven’t yet (Riverdale, Underground).  And I probably forgot other shows too.  And I probably watch too much TV, but if it’s any consolation or explanation, it heavily influences and inspires my writing.  (And most of it I watch while video gaming anyway).