#are you afraid of the dark 2019

[layla4567]

My Ballerina

Mr. Tophat x Fem reader

Summary: A few years ago you were one of the main attractions at the "Carnival of Doom". The entire audience wanted to see you dance gracefully on top of a metal hoop. You were Mr. Tophat's pride, one day you managed to escape the spell that had you trapped at his mercy but unlike what happened to the others, you remembered everything. It's time to return to the stage once, and to his side.

Warnings: Suggestive, hurt comfort maybe, a bit of angst with a happy ending, canon divergence (I don't know if it's well written but basically I mean I took creative liberties because I haven't seen the series 😭)

Wc: 4k

You were the star of the show, you were his star. You called yourself "La fée de l'air" which means the fairy of the air for the simple fact that you had an ethereal aura and it seemed like you were flying when you climbed onto the metal hoop and spun and made arabesques with your hands in the air. Other times you would go ashore and dance in the middle of the circus tent going around and around. Your slender figure and your delicate hands with long, bony fingers hypnotized people, you had great control of your body and you could bend and stretch and jump without getting tired, you were like an angel fallen from heaven. But who was most surprised by you was the circus presenter himself. He had found you some time ago when you were dancing in the streets to earn a little money, and from that day on he was enchanted by your beauty and your talent for moving and he told himself that he had to have you in his circus no matter what.

It was not difficult for him to manipulate and bewitch you to accompany him to his circus, he promised you great rewards and great popularity. All of that pleased you enormously, but even more so did his presence. His mysterious energy that sometimes even alarmed because of how dark it could be, but beyond that in the depths of his beautiful green eyes you saw something else, perhaps kindness or a wandering and wounded soul like a caged bird longing for freedom. Anyway, now you practically lived in the carnival and with him the days were more interesting, and the coming ones too, you were sure. Although… sometimes, you didn't know why, you felt like he was hiding something. And something shady. Sometimes you saw him talking to himself or having sudden mood changes as if two voices lived inside him and his head, far from scaring you, you felt sorry and worried for him, you wanted to help him but you didn't know how.

But although he tried to hide it, sometimes it was very evident, and it was noticeable in his functions. Sometimes he could change the entire planned itinerary and introduce you at the beginning or the end depending on his mood, but that was not all, sometimes his shows were a bit… macabre. From time to time you tried to ignore it or look away but the uncomfortable feeling wouldn't go away. But when that didn't happen he was really charming and charismatic and always came to see you in your dressing room waiting for you to be ready.

*Knock knock*

You were putting on your makeup in front of the light bulb mirror when suddenly a soft knock on your door caught your attention and made you spin around in your seat.

"Yes! come in!"

When the person opened the door you saw the man who had given you the opportunity to fulfill your dreams (and it could be said that you fulfilled his). Mr. Tophat leaned against the door frame crossing one foot in front of the other, he was wearing black and white striped pants and a blood red jacket, he carried his usual cane in one hand and with the other he touched his fingers to his hat greeting you with a nod of the head

"How is my star? Are you ready?"

"I'm almost ready". You said smiling

Mr. Tophat approached from behind with elegant steps and watched you from the mirror as you got ready. When you were ready you asked him what he thought.

"So? What do you think?"

He crouched down a little until his face was level with yours, peeking his face from behind your shoulder, he dedicated himself to contemplating your features and your makeup with a thoughtful gesture. You just watched as his eyes ran over your face and hair through the mirror. When he had finished he said solemnly

"You are beautiful my little fairy but I think you are missing something…"

He put his hand behind his back and pulled out a large, fresh white rose with a soft, sweet aroma.

"…to enhance your beauty"

You were stunned seeing the most beautiful and delicate flower that you had in front of you, the more surprised you were at how he had managed to make a rose appear out of nowhere, but hey, he was also a magician so. Marcus slowly placed the rose in your hair and then smiled at you in the mirror.

"Perfect, now you are ready"

He rubbed both of your shoulders to give you encouragement and courage, even though you didn't need it. You got up in your outfit that consisted of a mother-of-pearl bodysuit with a short white transparent satin skirt, your ballet slippers were also white and your hair was curly and messy. You had glued small pearls on your face and on your eyelids there was light blue glitter. You really looked like a fantasy being. Mr. Tophat stood next to you and you placed your hand on his to which he gave you a good luck kiss, placing his lips lightly on your knuckles.

"Show time"

He came out first to greet the public, he stood in the middle of the track with the spotlight illuminating his tall figure. With a big smile and open arms he started the show. There were clowns, contortionists, jugglers, etc. People seemed to laugh and have fun but Marcus had left you for the big finale because he knew that people would be left with that feeling of having seen the best last.

"And now ladies and gentlemen of the audience, I present to you La fée de l'air!"

People applauded when they saw you appear slowly descending from the ceiling sitting on the hoop. It seemed like time had frozen and people only had eyes for you. The lights above you made your skin and clothes shine and stand out. From below Mr. Tophat looked at you smiling proudly with his eyes shining with admiration. You did dizzying laps that left the audience stunned and you hung from the hoop with your legs bent while you moved your arms. But the best thing was when you went down to land, you danced with all the passion that your body allowed you, you not only danced with your feet but also with your heart. You put body and soul into every step and you silently dedicated them to the man who was always by your side. Your body and face expressed what words never could have done. Suddenly you did a Jeté Entrelacé in a magnificent way and people gasped with excitement. After you finished your dance, people stood up and applauded wildly. You made several bows excitedly and with a huge smile

After finishing greeting the audience and blowing several kisses with your hands, you left the center of the circus and headed towards your dressing room. The show continued without interruptions and when it was over people happily left their seats. Excited and about to cry with happiness, you entered your caravan and began to remove your makeup. You felt so full and satisfied when you were dancing in the air, the applause of the people, the screams of contained emotion, the dreamy eyes of Marcus looking at you from below…ah, there was nothing better than that. You had already gotten rid of your makeup and had taken off your skirt, leaving you in your pearly bodysuit. You took a bristle brush and began to gently comb your curls. That's when you heard another soft knock on your door, but this time they didn't surprise you.

"Please, come in". You said with a velvety voice

The same man who minutes before had visited you with his tall and stoic figure, returned to make his presence before you with the brim of his hat over his eyes, revealing only his Cheshire smile.

"Ah here's my favorite ballerina"

The ringleader approached you again but this time from the front. With his elegant steps and his cane echoing on the wooden floor. Thump thump thump. He crouched down to your height, one hand resting loosely on the tip of the cane. The other hand traveled under your chin and with his index finger he raised it to look at you better. Now his hat didn't cover his eyes and you could see that mischievous glint in them. Green like emeralds, fields or forests that penetrated your soul

"You were brilliant as always, my dear". He purred

Oh God. His words in another's mouth would have sounded empty and broken like a dirty compliment, but on his lips they sounded silky and passionate. Mr. Tophat was not only a great circus performer but also a great lover. You closed your eyes letting his warm breath and his syrupy flirtations collide head-on in your face. When you opened them again he had leaned his face closer to yours until they were only a few centimeters away. The handsome Machiavellian ringleader wasted no time in running his gaze over your eyes and your full lips, almost inadvertently moistening his own.

"I would love to reward you for being such a good girl. Would you like that my faithful assistant?"

His lips barely touched yours and his breath hit your barely open mouth, tickling you. His gesture was even sinful. His hand that was on your chin was placed on the side of your jaw and he stroked it with his gloved thumb. Yes, yes you wanted to.

"Yeah... please..". You meowed softly

Mr. Tophat growled lewdly in response and brought his mouth to yours. His chapped lips swelled yours with wet, desperate kisses. His hunger for you was voracious. With his gloved hands he separated your thighs and placed his knee in the middle of the seat, bringing his body closer and closer to yours. Every gasp and moan that came out of your mouth was silenced. Your hands climbed up his back and tangled tightly in his wavy hair, knocking his hat to the ground. He broke the kiss with his swollen pink lips.

"Y/n, my Y/n I don't know what I would do without you, tell me you love me…please". He said breathlessly

His tone was almost distressed and his eyes were glassy. A mixture of desire and affliction swirled in his dilated pupils like a tidal wave. He looked at you like a puppy desperate for affection and you felt sorry for him. You had been aware of his drastic mood swings before and this seemed like one of them. The one who spoke to you now was not his eccentric character or alter ego that he had created known as Mr. Tophat, no, now the one who addressed you was Marcus Cochran, a scared man and prisoner of a body and a curse of which he never wanted to be a part. , although you didn't know that until later

"I love you with all my heart, thanks to you I'm here today"

You kissed him again and he ran his passionate hands over your hips until they reached the height of your ribs.

"Will you stay with me? Do you promise to never leave me?"

"I-"

Suddenly a knock on the door made you jump and Marcus turned his head towards the sound. When the door began to open he jumped off of you and you got up from your seat quickly. They were both blushing. A muscular man with funny mustaches holding several daggers in his hands clumsily entered.

"Sorry for the interruption, master, but I wanted to ask you some questions about my next act."

The ringleader ran his hand through his hair nervously and angrily, his pleading gestures and benevolent eyes had disappeared giving way to the demonic appearance that he sometimes seemed to have. With a grunt he lifted his hat and placed it on his head.

"What a good time you chose to interrupt, but it's okay, I'll help you with your act". He snorted ironically.

Before closing the door behind him he looked out and smiling enigmatically told you

"Don't worry, this isn't over darling."

The days passed and you continued acting and dancing and after the performances your lover would sneak into your dressing room to reward you. But suddenly, one day, everything went terribly wrong. Marcus had left the carnival on important business that he did not want to reveal, but he had left his cane. You weren't sure if he had forgotten it or just left it there on purpose since it practically didn't come off his cane. That object had always caught your attention, it was so strange and peculiar that it even seemed to have a strong influence on Mr. Tophat, as if the cane were the one controlling the person and not its host. The staff topped with a luminous orb was in Marcus's dressing room. You headed there and when you opened the door you couldn't stop a wave of sensations from pushing you. As if a strange and evil magic pulled you like a taut rope. The staff shone with its own light, a mixture of yellows and oranges and in the center a white light like that of a lighthouse. Your eyes widened and you couldn't help but let your fingers barely caress the surface of the polished orb. When you did, an expansive slingshot like a nuclear explosion ran through your entire body with a painful electric shock and expanded outward and surrounded the entire circus. You almost fainted but managed to stay upright by holding on to the table. Your mind that was previously agonizing in a confusing and blinding fog was now completely clear like a sun peeking its rays through the clouds after a storm. Of course, he had bewitched you, that was the explanation for everything, because you felt so comfortable and you had never complained. You left his dressing room in a hurry and scared, the people also seemed to have woken up from the cruel spell they were under, as if they had woken up from a cloud of intoxicated drowsiness.

People started running away in terror and you did the same. You ran with all your strength towards the outskirts of the carnival of doom. It was night outside and a light drizzle was beginning to wet your nightgown and robe. You were barefoot so your feet were slipping on the stones and filled with mud which made it difficult to escape. The forest was thick and the trees looked like black, skeletal ghosts wanting to scratch you with their branches. Suddenly you thought you heard a deep, shrill voice among the thickets of the trees, but it was so dark that you couldn't see anything. Your heart hammered in your chest as you continued running but the voice continued to echo everywhere, even in your head.

"Why do you run away from me?!". The voice growled

You turned your head in all directions trying to see who was speaking but you already knew whose voice it was. Mr. Tophat appeared and disappeared like a ghost in the forest, stalking you like a wolf. You turned around desperately until you were dizzy trying to guess where he would appear this time, and as if he had emerged from the center of the earth, the ringleader stood right in front of you at a considered distance.

"I thought you would stay with me..." . He threatening little warning lowering the chin

He was getting closer to you and you backed away terrified, in many years of living with him he had never acted so creepy with you, almost as if you were a poor devil to be martyred and stunned.

"What's wrong my sweet Y/n? Are you afraid of me?"

His magpie laughter echoed throughout the forest like a pitiful echo.

"I can smell fear, remember?"

He got even closer and you went back as far as you could until you fell and continued crawling with your hands resting on the ground. The humidity of the mud rose to your nose, the dirt dirty your clothes and stuck to your nails, and the soft but incessant drizzle soaked your hair and face. You looked terrible and your eyebrows curved in an upward arc of fear and anguish. Seeing you like this, something in Marcus seemed to awaken because his gloomy and intimidating face changed to an expression of fear and concern for you. Hesitantly he approached with slower and more uncertain steps as if he were afraid of scaring away a badly injured rabbit. He approached you cautiously and you instinctively moved further away. Now he seemed hurt by this gesture and his face expressed more sadness, a hand gently approached your bare foot and placed itself on your ankle, you waited for a firm grip or for his fingers to dig into your flesh but nothing of the sort happened. Marcus's hand almost seemed to float on your skin as he didn't take his eyes off of you, and you could see that they were wet. You didn't understand what was happening to him and it was making you nervous, you looked at each other in silence trying to discover each other's thoughts. When you couldn't take more than one slap, you took his fingers off your ankle and ran in another direction, away from him. Very far

"No wait Y/n please…!"

Marcus stood up from the ground and watched you leave with a broken heart. He extended his arms in a useless attempt to catch you but you were already far away, as if that simple action of his fingers touching the air had been enough for you to come back. his side floating like a butterfly. His appearance as a child abandoned by his mother changed drastically and his easy features became hard. He clenched his jaw and clenched his fists, roughly removing his hat and throwing it to the floor. In a tantrum he screamed at the top of his lungs.

“Y/N I TOLD YOU TO COME BACK!!!”. He howled

His war cry echoed throughout the forest and scared away some crows that flew out of the branches of the bare and dry trees. You turned your head back to see if he was chasing you but he had disappeared. Through the forest the only thing that remained echoing were your footsteps, but in your mind his words continued to flutter like flies.

“Y/N I TOLD YOU TO COME BACK!!!” “Y/N I TOLD YOU TO COME BACK!!!” “Y/N I TOLD YOU TO COME-!"

The months passed and you returned to your sweet home. It took you a while to recover from the shock you had experienced and understand and process what had really happened. Mr. Tophat's manipulations, lies and false promises had affected you more than you wanted to admit. And it could be said that you were not handling the improvement process very well, since by not dancing in the circuses you had to go back to dancing in the streets and honestly it was not as fun as doing it at the carnival. People hardly looked at you and not everyone left a tip. And your home no longer felt the same as before, even though it was your real home you felt that something was missing, an emptiness oppressed your chest and you didn't know why. One day you picked up the newspaper that was always left at your door and when you read it you almost spit out the coffee you had put in your mouth. The newspaper mentioned a circus called "Carnival of Doom" and showed a photo of its ringleader. Would that man even chase you in the photos? The article told how that strange individual had dared to kidnap children and people by bewitching them and taking them to his circus, but what surprised you the most was that when they were freed the people had erased from their minds all memories of the Carnival of Doom and Mr. Tophat. You folded the diary and left it on the table reflecting. Why were you the only one who remembered everything? It didn't seem to be something Tophat planned. Did that make you someone supernatural too? You shook your head overwhelmed. Suddenly you started thinking about all the things you had experienced with him, the good and the bad. And you realized that that man could not be entirely evil, in life there are not only blacks or whites. No person is completely good and no person is completely bad.

You clung to the hope that the man who begged you to stay with him, who looked at you scared and worried as he caressed your ankle couldn't be the same one who screamed and grumbled when something didn't go according to his plan. The man who feared for his own life was Marcus, you had fallen in love with him, not Mr. Tophat. With all those arguments you decided to put on a coat and face your fears, you would go to where it all started and you would put an end to that torment. This time the sky was clear but there were no moon or stars. You went outside with a flashlight and headed to the place of your memories. The circus now looked more gloomy and depressing than before. The paint looked old and corroded and the tip of the tent was deflated and hanging limply to one side. When you were under the spell you had never realized how horrible that place was, everything seemed abandoned and dark. When you entered the circus tent you saw that it was all dark, with your flashlight you swept the place but suddenly the light began to flicker and went off. Great, you thought.

A laugh that was first soft and then louder alerted all your senses. A light turned on and the ringleader appeared standing to your right with his staff in his hand. Everything was dark so the light that illuminated him seemed even more powerful.

"So we meet again…What do you want from me?"

You were going to answer but the light went out and everything returned to darkness, uselessly searching for his image in the shadows. Another ceiling light turned on this time to your left and a little further away near the stands Tophat appeared again.

"Why don't you run from me uh?"

The man's smile was psychotic and hypnotizing and before you could say a word again the electricity went off again and his laughter echoed throughout the tent. His macabre games were making you nervous, he knew how to create the perfect environment to generate suspense and fear, his favorite emotions. Once again he appeared in front of you sitting with one leg crossed in front of the other and one hand under his chin.

"Why aren't you scared of me?... Or are you?"

"Stop it!". You yelled

His laughter sounded louder and closer as the lights went out again. It seemed like thousands of laughs and not just one. You covered your ears, wanting to wake up from that nightmare but unfortunately, it was real and you were wide awake. Again his voice was heard in the darkness and you got goosebumps when you felt it right behind you.

"But more importantly, what do you know?"

A light turned on behind you and when you turned around you saw his smiling face right above yours. He looked at you as if you were his favorite prey about to be devoured. You stifled a scream of terror. His features were more accentuated and seemed more threatening because the light did not shine fully on him and his hat cast macabre shadows on his skin. His eyes looked sickly and abnormally greener than usual. Being tall, he could lean over you as much as he wanted and that intimidated you. You swallowed and said with a trembling voice.

"I know everything and I remember everything too"

This seemed to disconcert him a little but he kept his expression firm and with a sudden movement he grabbed your wrists and tightened his grip until it made you hurt and scream. With a strong pull he brought you closer to his chest. His eyes never stopped seeing yours

"Oh really? And what will you do about it mon amour?". He said in perfect French accent

You shook and struggled but you couldn't escape him, he had a very good grip on you. You sighed tiredly and rested your head on his chest. He was surprised by this gesture but since he thought it was some kind of deception and trap, he did not loosen his fingers on your wrists. Just talk to yourself from the heart

"Marcus listen to me, I know you're there. Deep down behind all this horrible facade I know that a good man is hiding, the man I fell in love with. Please Marcus, fight, I want you to come out."

Mr. Tophat's eyes widened and he seemed to turn pale. You felt like his grip had loosened a little but not enough to let you go. You looked into his eyes and realized that they were shiny again.

"You do not know what you say…"

"Yes I know. I know you did all this to fulfill your dreams but you messed with the wrong people and now you are paying the price. Don't let others be part of this madness"

The man frowned and his lips began to tremble, it seemed that inside him a fierce battle was being waged over who would take control, Marcus or his alter ego. A light of hope seemed to pass through your eyes as his expressions seemed to soften and he looked at you with another look, one that asked for help and compassion, a look that he wanted to believe you. But that quickly changed when he tightened his grip again and pulled your wrists closer to his chest, also bringing your face just five centimeters from yours.

"And why do you care for me?". His eyes were cold and hard

"Because I know you're suffering and I don't like seeing you like this, you don't deserve anything you're suffering. I know your intentions were good. Please, Marcus, I love you and I want you to be okay. I want this all to end."

Something in him seemed to break because he let go of your wrists and his face expressed fear and concern, his eyebrows curled into a depressed frown and he looked at you as if it were the first time he had seen you. His lips trembled as tears fell from his eyes. His corners turned slightly downward in a pout. That was the real Marcus

"Y/n…I…I'm so sorry.."

With a sob he embraced you, wrapping his arms around your neck and pressed you against him in search of affection and containment. You wrapped your arms under his armpits and caressed his back, whispering tender and comforting words, managing to calm and comfort him.

"I don't know what to do now, without the cane I'm nothing" . His voice was muffled in the crook of your neck

"That's not true, together we can create something new and better. Besides, now I'm by your side, I promise to stay and never leave again."

He pulled away from you and looked at you hopefully. You smiled and then directed his gaze to the cane that was still in his hand. You extended your palm ordering him to give you the object. He seemed to hesitate, avoiding eye contact. A few seconds passed that seemed like forever until he finally handed you his cane with his hand trembling. You took it and after looking at it for a moment you smashed it against the ground, breaking it into pieces, startling Mrcus. At that moment the whole place seemed to calm down and you felt that you could breathe a new atmosphere, one calm and free of danger. You looked at your loved one again and now he smiled at you with relief and all traces of demonic evil dissolved in his gaze. He was a free man

"Thank you, thank you for everything". He said kissing your knuckles and shedding tears of happiness.

"You don't have to thank anything, it was the least I could do for you, and for everyone"

You wiped away his tears with love and tenderly kissed his lips. He delicately surrounds your waist. When you broke the kiss he caressed your cheekbone with his thumb.

"As you say, the show must go on. But this time let's start a better one"

********************************************************************

Oh will I ever write about characters I know and have seen their series/movie? Haha no

[possessive-penholder]

Yandere!Mr.Tophat x Reader

🎩loves scaring anyone who's near you 🎩makes sure your dreams and nightmares are of him 🎩wants to drive you insane, possibly drive you into Stockholm 🎩would paint you up either like a doll or a cute little clown 🎩very big into scaring you, it fuels him 🎩anyone interested is gonna be missing eyes 🎩would definitely make a spectacle out of tormenting any possible suitors 🎩"As long as I'm around, you belong to me~ " 🎩keeps you chained to either a tent designed for you or to his trailer 🎩 has special chains just for you 🎩 uses his cane to keep you cooperative 🎩" keep your head up pet, the carnival's your new home now! " 🎩yeah you're not leaving the Carnival Of Doom 🎩keeps your missing poster as a trophy

[zackmartin]

13 NIGHTS OF HALLOWEEN 👻 night eight

are you afraid of the dark? carnival of doom (2019) | (insp.)

[fanofspooky]

Scream King -

Tyler Labine

[tvontelevision]

[llanternpool]

Someone should edit Mr. Tophat to this song:

Mr. Tophat even has the same aesthetic as the song artist’s did in his tour posters:

[buysomecheese]

Watching Are You Afraid of the Dark (2019) because y’know hurricane moment and I have queer headcanons for these kids already

(Akiko is transmasc. Gavin is bisexual. Graham is my best friend. Louise is a lesbian. Rachael is the biggest ally out there.)

[lincolndjarin]

Every Now and Then - ch. one

[ I Dream of Something Wild ]

pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader

word count : 6.4k

summary : Joel Miller destroyed you. He loved you, then he left, leaving you in the New York City, QZ. But he's a good southern gentleman, so of course he didn't leave you without a reminder of the time you spent together. Four years later you're living in Jackson, in a lovely little ranch house. (With your reminder.) The last person you want to see is Joel Miller, unfortunately you've never been particularly lucky.

tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, injury, language, manipulation, joel takes advantage of readers situation, eventual smut, no use of y/n, no physical description of reader, she is picked up by joel at one point but i'm a firm believer that he's strong enough to lift any one who may find themselves in the pov of our reader, joel is possessive and controlling, dark!joel miller in a sense?? like he's not really dark now but he's going to be, multiple time lines, not canon compliant, mentions of prostitution, i sorta made up my own timeline, i probs missed tags sorry!!

a/n : i really need to fix my writing schedule so i'm hoping that having a new fic to put my energy into is going to help!! also sorry if this chapter doesn't have much going on i need to set up a lot of stuff but i promise more action in future chapters

ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi

He crept up on you like the shadows as the sun sets in the west. An all encompassing darkness that blotted out the sun until all that was left was night. He sunk his claws into you so deep that your eyes adjusted to the dark, and you didn’t even realize how much time had passed until you shrunk away from the inevitable sunrise that made him cower away from the dawn as if he never really was big and scary. 

And in the light of day you saw him for what he really was.

He was just a man, who was once a boy, who was scared of the dark. 

So he made himself big, and terrifying, and he grew so accustomed to the thing he once feared that the very idea of anything else made him recoil.

You feel something akin to pity when you think of him now. That doesn’t mean you forgive him, but when you can stomach it you try to, for the sake of your peace. You’d probably be happier if you could just forgive him. 

But you can’t.

So you don’t. 

It’s hard when his own blood doesn’t think he’s a good man. Tommy was afraid of him. Terrified at the very thought of his big brother. You can recall several nights where you had woken up to him screaming in the sleeping bag beside you, absolutely petrified of a memory that had inevitably snuck in through the darkness. You never feared him quite like that, but seeing the effect he has on Tommy makes your stomach churn, a painful reminder of your own suffering.    

Most of the time it’s easier to just not think of him at all, despite the reminders he’s branded into you forever. You ignore him when he tries to soak back into your very being, but at the end of the day he’s unavoidable. You see him in the dark brown eyes of others, hear him in Tommy’s southern drawl, taste him when you have the occasional sip of whiskey. He tries and tries relentlessly to worm his way back into you, but you never let him. You put up walls and you focus on other things, anything, that isn’t Joel Miller. And even though you can’t forget him entirely you manage to ignore the memory of the man you once loved for several years.  

Until one day it’s impossible to keep the thought of him away. 

Until he himself makes it impossible.

Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019

“Stay off of it or you’re going to lose it.”

That’s what the QZ doctor had told you. A couple weeks of bed rest was the most he could offer when you came to him with your broken ankle. 

A couple weeks without working is a death sentence. 

If you don’t work you won’t be able to afford food. And you don’t have anybody to fall back on, no family, no friends, not even an acquaintance to borrow funds from. 

Lose your leg or starve. 

As appealing as it sounds, starvation isn’t an option, too painful. 

So you have to work. The only issue with that is you’ve been blacklisted, the stupid doctor had you put on a no-shift list. You beg them to let you work, you’ll do anything, but they never budge. 

You only have enough ration cards stocked up to make it to the end of the week so you have to consider your other options. You could sell yourself. It certainly isn’t uncommon and the money’s good but it’s too dangerous, especially if you can’t run on your leg. You’ve seen too many people get hurt in that profession to risk it. You don’t have a trade. You’re terrible at sewing, you can’t cook, there isn’t a need for much of anything else and you own nothing valuable. 

So there’s only one other option for you. 

You steal. 

You dress inconspicuously, in your only pair of jeans and a plain shirt, both of which are getting rather tattered at this point but you have nothing else. With your jacket on you pull up your hood and you do the exact thing you aren’t supposed to do, and you walk. 

The conditions in the QZ are poor enough that your limp doesn’t stand out. You walk up and down the streets all day, slow and steady, with your head down and you don’t take risks. You don’t take anything big or obvious, just little things. A single ration card peeking out of a pocket, a pocket knife off a vendor's table, stale bread, set away from the good stuff where no one is looking. And you return home each night with your pockets full and your leg aching. 

By the end of your second week you’re still barely scraping by but you’re managing. What little ration cards you manage to snatch you use to buy food, but it’s still nothing compared to what you’re used to making. Your ankle feels worse by the day. 

You need more. 

You need to find a source of income that will let you rest or you’re going to lose your leg, which will leave you in an even worse position. It isn’t until you hear your neighbor slam his door that you come up with an idea. 

Your neighbor probably has more cards than he knows what to do with, and he’s always coming and going so he probably wouldn’t even notice if you skimmed a little off the top. Nothing substantial, just enough to keep you going and give your leg time to heal. 

The only problem is your neighbors reputation. 

You doubt you’d have much of a chance of surviving him if you got caught. Joel Miller was a bit of an urban legend around the QZ. Of course you only knew him as your stoic neighbor, just a guy who didn’t make a lot of noise and came home at strange hours, and sometimes disappeared for days at a time. 

But everyone else acted as if he was some kind of Boogey Man. You didn’t see him much in the streets but when you did children ran and people whispered, and while you had no knowledge of how he earned that reputation you knew it probably wasn’t pretty. 

So you’d have to be careful. 

He’s gone now, you’d heard him stopping down the hall so you decide it couldn’t hurt to take a peek, just scout out the area. 

You climb out onto the fire escape, your leg aching as you do, and you use the dull little knife you’d stolen a few days ago to shimmy open his window lock. It slides open pretty easily, he’s probably rather confident that nobody would ever mess with him so he doesn’t seem to have the usual precautions taken to protect his belongings. 

Lucky you. 

Stepping into the room you wince as you land on your bad leg, stumbling onto the floor, knocking a board loose in the process. 

“Shit.” You groan, sitting up quickly, trying to put everything back in its proper place when you catch a glimmer of something under the floor. 

A revolver. 

You shouldn’t be here. Joel Miller is a dangerous man, you knew that but you did this anyway, you can’t help but feel incredibly stupid as you stare at the weapon. You feel so stupid that you don’t even hear the click of a lock. You don’t even bother with the ration cards you can see peeking out from under the gun, you just want to leave and forget that you ever thought this was a good idea. It’s a struggle, getting back to your feet, your leg is throbbing, begging for a rest you can’t afford to take right now. With a groan you push the window open, eager for this silly idea to be over you try to figure out the best way to go about this. You’re starting to lose feeling in your leg, should you go bad leg first or try to balance on it while shimmying the rest of your body out the window? 

You never get to decide what the best course of action is because your head is slammed against the wall, your knees crumple underneath you as you hit the floor, the room spinning as your leg bends at an angle that makes you shriek. You slap your hand over your mouth but it’s far too late for that. He’s been here the whole time. It’s dark but you can still make out the foreboding shape of his figure. The broad shouldered beast that’s glaring down at you, his boot nudging your chin roughly as you bite back a shriek of fear. 

“I could report you to FEDRA for this.” The gruff voice whispers into the darkness. 

You’re desperate to avoid lockup, you know you’ll die in there, or worse. Although you’re not entirely sure what’s going to happen to you either way. 

“I- I’ll tell them about your contraband.” You point frantically at the loose floor board. “They’ll lock you up too.” His glare is unwavering as he stares down at you. You’re a little worried that he might just kill you himself, there would be no consequences, no one would be looking for you. 

No one would look for you. 

The thought makes you shudder and even though you try to stop yourself you feel your eyes beginning to water. You hear footsteps, watching his outline move across the room before you’re shrinking away from the light of a dim lamp in the corner. 

“You gotta be real dumb to find yourself in this situation.” He mutters, turning back around to stare at you. His gaze makes you want to cover yourself up, it’s like he can see every single part of you within that icy glare. You’ve never taken the time to really, truly look at him before but you do now, after all this might be your last chance to look at anything at all. 

He isn’t a terrible last sight. 

Sure, he’s ominous enough to make you want to try and run despite the ache in your calf right now, but that doesn’t make him any less handsome. In a rugged, weathered sort of way. He’s older than you thought, gray sprinkled throughout the mess of curls framing his face. What a nice face it is. Soft where it needs to be soft, sharp where it needs to be sharp. He marches back over to you, easily taking the pocket knife from your hand and crouching down in front of you.

“Give me one good reason not to finish you off right now.” He points the blade in the direction of your leg. “Seems like it’d be a mercy at this point.” 

Maybe he’s right. 

Maybe it would be a mercy to just let him put you out of your misery. Why have you been fighting so hard? You can’t seem to recall a reason other than the fact that that’s what you’re supposed to do. Your mind tells you that you’re supposed to keep fighting but you can’t think of a single driving force. You’re in pain, constantly, you live in a world that wants you dead, and you have no one relying on you. 

You don’t have a good reason, other than the fact that surviving is all you know how to do. So you look up at him and you nod. Taking in the sight of the pretty, frightening man one last time before closing your eyes. 

It feels good. You feel good, for the first time in a long time, knowing that you won’t hurt anymore. You won’t have to be afraid of someone kicking your door in, you won’t have to worry about where your next meal is going to come from, and you won’t have to worry about turning into a monster. It’s a mercy.

So you close your eyes.

Suddenly grateful for the killer before you, your guardian angel, here to deliver you the peace you didn’t know you needed. 

You wait patiently for the sting of a blade or the embrace of his hands around your throat but all you're met with is a sigh. When you finally find the courage to open your eyes he’s sitting on the edge of the bed across from you, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Just go.” He grumbles, muttering a few other words you don’t catch. 

You’re almost disappointed, having accepted this was the end, and now you’re being shoved back into the cold and unforgiving world. You start to get to your feet but your knees buckle under you. You try again, willing your leg to just work but much to your dismay you can’t even straighten out your leg anymore. When you try to move it all you find yourself only able to bend your knee a few inches.

Shit. 

You think of the fall you took on the way in and wonder if you finally pushed yourself to the limit. If you go back to the doctor will he remove the entire thing? Maybe you should just ask Joel to finish the job before it comes to that. It would be a kindness, between a quick death here or a slow death starving in your apartment you’ll take the quick way every time. Before you even have a chance to ask he’s on his feet. Maybe his patience has run out and you won’t have to ask at all. 

“Let me.” His voice rattles around in your head, so low and commanding that you put up no resistance as he lifts you up under your arms and sets you down on the edge of the bed where he just was. He flips the knife out, going to cut your jeans off of you but you stop him.

“Wait!” He freezes in place, giving you an impatient look. “These are my only jeans, just- just pull them down.” Before you can realize how embarrassing it might be to show your neighbor your faded pink panties, you're already unbuttoning your pants, lifting your hips up so he can pull them down your legs with a roll of his eyes. It’s painful, the feeling of the denim running against your skin but it’s better than not having any pants at all. 

Fuck. 

It’s been a while since you’ve actually looked at your leg. You’re surprised he was able to get your jeans off with how swollen it is, the flesh bulging around your ankle and now up your calf. The skin is shiny and blotchy with shades of purple and red. The sight of it makes you want to hurl but you manage to swallow the urge, looking away as he pokes at the tender flesh. 

“Christ girl, what the hell did you do?” When he grabs your ankle to lift your leg you yelp in pain, making him set your leg back down instinctively. 

“I just- it’s just a broken ankle.” You mumble as he gives you an incredulous look.

“Like hell it is.” Something about the sternness of his voice demands your obedience as you nod. “Wanna tell me what really happened?” 

“Well I- I fell and-” You struggle to find an excuse to justify how bad you let this get but you come up empty. So you tell the truth. “I fell off a ladder while painting over graffiti during my shift and broke my ankle. The doctor told me to stay off of it and- well, I couldn’t afford not to work so I just… didn’t” You rush through your words, staring anywhere else but into his demanding gaze as you explain yourself. 

“So you turned to stealin’.” He says it like the fact it is and you can only bring yourself to nod. “You need antibiotics.” He says just as matter of factly. “You know how much that sort of thing costs?” 

A lot. 

More than you’d have even if you were working overtime. 

He clears his throat and you finally meet his eyes. 

His eyes were so dark that day they threatened to swallow you whole. Were they always that dark? Or was it just that day, the first day, when he realized that he had you. 

“Look, I don’t do this kinda thing for just anybody. But I can help you.” He had sounded so kind, his hint of a smile had seemed so promising. 

“I can’t afford it-”

“You can use alternative methods to pay me back.” 

You told him you’d think about it. 

And he hadn’t pushed you, he had simply helped you back into your jeans and carried you back to your apartment. He told you he’d check on you tomorrow and see if you had an answer for him.

So when the next day came and you had a fever and your leg was throbbing, demanding your attention you’d been all too eager to accept his help. 

And just like that, it was your idea. 

It wasn’t his, he was blameless, you asked him to help you. And it didn’t matter who had suggested it first, it mattered who brought it up after. 

You had been certain that when he had told you you’d be using alternative methods to pay him back that his intentions were unsavory. And at that point you didn’t really care, you’d made your peace with that. The medicine you needed wasn’t cheap and you could find worse looking men who didn’t take care of themselves the way Joel did. 

But he wanted nothing of the sort. 

Southern Manners.

All he wanted was for you to take care of his apartment when he was out with his business partner, a woman who didn’t seem to dislike you but certainly didn’t care for you. He told you to take a week to just rest, take the medicine he brought you, eat the food that he fed you, and be good. So you did as he asked. And after a week you could move a bit more, you started spending your days at Joel’s tidying up and organizing while he was gone, it was much easier to stay off your leg for most of the day and he always made sure there was food and books for you while he was gone. And when he returned he would help you hobble back to your place and help you into bed without complaint and with a promise that he’d be back in the morning. 

But you still don’t relax around him.

It doesn’t make sense. Even someone who wasn’t known for their cruelty wouldn’t just take a stranger in. You’d like to believe that there’s good in people but you know better than to have that kind of faith. There isn’t enough left of the world to share the remains. Yet Joel does. He doesn’t ask to know you better and he certainly doesn’t tell you about himself yet he shows you more kindness than anyone else in your life has before. 

He must like having someone to take care of. 

That’s how you explain it to yourself. 

You watch him with Tess and it’s clear who’s in charge there, she barely even lets him stitch her up when she returns to the apartment. Joel gets frustrated every time, huffing and pacing around the room before finding some way to tend to you in her place. Icing your leg, or bringing you a new book to read, or feeding you. 

It took a few months for your leg to heal, it had been in such bad shape a part of you worried that it might never be the same as it once was. 

After the first month of your arrangement Joel told you his knees hurt and he wouldn’t be able to carry you home, you offered to just walk yourself over, your leg didn’t hurt that bad anymore and you were more than capable of walking short distances. But he insisted you stay, told you you could sleep in the bed and he’d take the couch.

But his knees hurt, you couldn’t let him do that. 

And you told him you’d take the couch and he told you he wouldn’t feel right making you sleep on the couch with your leg the way it was. 

So you told him you’d both just sleep in the bed. It wasn’t a big deal. You trusted him, of course you did, he had an opportunity to exploit you and he didn’t, if he was going to hurt you he would have done it already. 

He had acted unsure. 

You know now that it was acting. 

So you had insisted. You told him it was okay, you told him you felt safe with him. 

It was your idea. 

Even though it hadn’t been your idea to stay that night.

You had insisted he get in the bed with you. 

A fact that he would bring up often in the months to come. 

He would still help you to your apartment some nights, but just as often he’d complain about his knees and you’d stay. You got used to his warmth, you got used to waking up in his arms and not talking about it in the morning. 

So it made sense when he told you that you should keep your pajamas at his apartment. 

It made sense when he got a toothbrush for you to keep in his bathroom cabinet. 

It made sense when he told you that he couldn’t find new clothes in your size and you could just wear his. 

It made sense when he told you that he and Tess had never been a thing, so you had no reason to feel weird about sleeping in his bed. 

And it made sense when he told you that he’d hold onto the keys to your apartment, afterall you wouldn’t want to lose them. 

Joel Miller was a glue trap. And you had waded across his sticky surface without a care in the world, never realizing that it was getting harder and harder to move until you were standing still. Until the only way you were going to escape was by biting off your own leg. 

You don’t remember when you stopped returning to your own apartment completely, but you know that it happened early on, before you’d even started chewing. 

Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023

“Ruth?” You’re gonna be late if you don’t find her soon. The turntable in the corner of the kitchen plays a 3 Doors Down song as you lift the table cloth, searching for the little girl. “We don’t have time to play, we need to get you to school.” You groan, turning to face the boy currently sitting in a highchair he’s just about grown out of. “Do you know where she is?” You cross your arms in front of your chest, glaring at him as he shrugs. 

Of course he isn’t going to tell. They look out for each other before anyone else, a fact that normally fills you with joy but not when they’re ganging up against you. Thankfully you catch his eye as he shoots a glance at the pantry. Pulling the door open you’re quickly met with the sight of Ruth, giggling on the floor. You pick her up, putting her in her own highchair before setting a plate of fruits down in front of her.

“Eat. We don’t have time to play this morning, young lady.” You poke your fork in her direction as you sit down across from them.

“Eat.” She repeats in a mocking tone, her brother erupting into a fit of giggles at the impression as you sigh. They need to be at the community center in half an hour. You make the job schedules on Friday and you need as much time as possible if you want to finish them in one day. You’re having a hard time focusing on the mess your son is making as he smashes each blueberry down onto the table before popping them into his mouth as you try to schedule your own weekend. 

You need to finish all of your work today while the kids are gone so you don’t have to juggle watching them and working later, it shouldn’t be too much of an issue, scheduling should only take a few hours if you really zero in on it. You have dinner with Tommy and Maria tomorrow and you promised to bring dessert so you’ll have to take the kids to the market tonight, which also means you’re going to have to find supplies to barter with before you go. 

You have nothing planned on Sunday.

You’ll have to change that. 

You hate having nothing to do.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts as a blueberry hits you in the forehead. Both twins laugh now as you frown at them. 

“Behave or I’ll tell your aunt that you’ve been bad.” Both children look at each other nervously before returning to their breakfast. You were never stern enough with them. You loved them too much, you couldn’t ever bring yourself to yell at them, and it wasn’t like they were troublemakers by any means, they were just kids with a lot of energy in the mornings. And when they did misbehave a small threat of telling Maria was enough to make them stop whatever it was they were doing. 

You finish up your own plate and start getting ready to leave as the kids start giggling again to themselves. When their plates are empty you use a wet washcloth to clean their hands and faces before lifting each of them out of their respective seats, letting them run off a bit more energy before you head out. You set all three bags down in front of the door. Yours being the beige over the shoulder bag accompanied by two little backpacks. Ruth’s green canvas bag is covered in mud and other remnants of the yard that she’s brought in with her but Arthur’s purple backpack is kept neat and tidy. You slip into your coat before turning just in time to watch your son dive into the couch, quickly followed by his sister. 

“Come on little ducks. Time for school.” You take their jackets off the hook, holding them out to them as they rush over to you, tugging their own coats on before grabbing their bags, once you pull the door open they both rush out into the cool autumn morning, talking to each other in hushed tones. Always secrets with those two. It would probably make you a little worried if these were normal circumstances, the way they don’t let anyone in except each other, with you being the only exception. But the world is a terrifying place, it brings you peace to know that they have each other. 

A part of you is certain you wouldn’t have been able to handle just one. 

One little person relying on you, all while you’re doing your best to hold it all together? It sounds like a nightmare. It’s better that they have each other. Once you’re standing outside the community center, busy with parents dropping off their children, you kneel down. 

“Be good, if you behave today you can go to the market tonight.” The promise of the market has both of them grinning, showing off the teeth they’ve both recently had grow in. “I love you, I’ll see you in a bit.” You hold open your arms, each of them taking their respective sides as they wrap themselves around you. You take your daughter's face in your hands before pressing a kiss to her forehead, repeating the motion with your son. After a few “love you mama’s” they both run into the building, once you’re sure they’re safe inside you head off in the direction of town hall. 

You have what you would call the best job in town, despite the fact that no one else seems to want to do it. 

Maria understood when you arrived that you needed something that let you work from home if needed, you needed something that kept your mind busy but also gave you time with the kids. So you took care of the parts of Jackson most didn’t think about. 

You document all of the citizens, you make the shift schedules, and you make sure everyone has the necessities. You take care of housing, when big hauls from scavenging come in you divide them up among the people who need them. You make the meal schedules for the dining hall, and you make the crop schedules. 

You keep Jackson moving. 

When you arrived all of this was Maria’s job along with her other duties, when you told her you wanted something engaging and demanding she was more than willing to pass off those duties to you. So now you’ve got to make the schedule. Town hall is nothing more than a house with several desks for people doing work similar to yours but thankfully you’ve been lucky enough to reserve your own office in one of the bedrooms. 

Most Friday's Maria visits you for lunch but you know she’s on patrol currently, another perk of this job is knowing where everyone is, all the time.

No surprises. 

You hate surprises. (With a few exceptions.)

One of the exceptions is waiting for you in your office, Tommy sits with his legs up on your desk, reading over this past week's schedule. 

“You put me on crop harvest way more than anyone else.” He grumbles, tossing your notebook down.

“It’s the end of the season, everyones on crop harvest.” You lean down, kissing his cheek before taking your place across from him, immediately getting to work as he groans. 

“Maria gets to go on patrol.” 

“Council gets first dibs on patrols during harvest season.” The tip of your favorite pen is dry so you quickly bring it to your mouth, wetting it with your tongue before you start writing out jobs for this upcoming week. The second he sees how many farming related jobs you’re listing he leans back in his chair, groaning and running his fingers through his dark curls. 

Today’s his day off. You always gave anyone doing more manual labor three days off instead of two. 

“I can get you on one patrol shift but they’re going to need your help with the corn.” You write his name in with the Monday and Tuesday patrol squad, filling in the rest of his week with harvest as he grins. 

“Thank you, darlin’.” He drawls. You hate that nickname, you hate that he isn’t the first to give it to you but you never complain, you’d let Tommy get away with murder at this point. It’s the least you can do considering everything he’s given you. 

“Yeah yeah, whatever. You’re only getting a two-day weekend next week.” You mumble, searching through the list of citizens, trying to pick out the people you know won’t mind the hard work. 

“Fine by me.” You have a complicated relationship with that smile of his. You can love it all you want but that doesn’t change the fact that it makes you uneasy, it doesn’t help that you’re starting to see that same smile in your son. 

“I was thinking about berry cobbler for tomorrow night.” Molly twisted her ankle last week, make sure she isn’t standing. You put her down for shucking corn, she can sit in the dining hall and work. 

“We have a bunch of extra sweet potatoes if you want to make sweet potato pie.” He takes your crop ledger, flipping through it, clearly not reading a thing. 

“Ruth hates sweet potatoes.” Marcus insists he’s capable of doing manual labor, his pride won’t let him act his age. You put him down for pushing the wheelbarrows, he won’t have to bend down to pick anything up but hopefully he’ll still feel like he’s doing enough. You’ve told him countless times that at his age he shouldn’t be working so hard but he always insists. 

“Shit, forgot about that. Maria might have some apples.” 

“I’ll stop by tonight before I take the kids to the market.” 

You’re thankful for Tommy.

He keeps your mind busy with conversation while you work, and he’s one of the only people you actually trust. By the time you’re almost done you know you need to go get the kids, with a conflicted glance at the clock you start to gather your things but Tommy beats you to it.

“I’ll go get them, Maria should be home from patrol soon, she’ll want to see them.” He’s already putting his coat on so you stay seated. 

“Are you sure?” You already know there’s no reason to argue, he’s stubborn, just like his brother. 

“It’s the least I can do to make up for bothering you all day.” He steps around the desk to give you a peck on the cheek before going to leave. “Just come by the house when you’re done, no rush.” And just like that he’s gone. 

You make quick work of your remaining duties. Finishing everything within a half an hour before heading out in the direction of the Miller’s farm house on the edge of town. It’s only a few houses away from your ranch house, a fact that you couldn’t be more grateful for, if it weren’t for Tommy and Maria you aren’t sure you’d have been able to handle those first few months of parenthood. Most people in town assumed Tommy must be the father purely based on how much effort he put into taking care of not only them, but you as well. As you make your way up their porch steps and into the living room you’re also reminded of the similarities. You can’t blame people for making assumptions, even Maria thought he was the father. The twins have his eyes, (which by association means that they also have his eyes, but you try not to dwell on that.) Ruth has your nose but Arthur has that Miller curve already starting to show on his little nose. Both little ones are sitting in the big recliner with their uncle as he tries to get them to settle down while he reads to them but the second they see you, both are scrambling out of the chair to hug your legs. 

And everything goes exactly how it’s supposed to. 

(Of course it does, you plan every day down to the minute.) 

You give Tommy the list of things you need along with a few things he can trade them for and he takes the kids down the street to the market as you sit at the kitchen counter, talking to Maria about her patrol. You had all planned to go to the market together but she’d insisted she was tired and you didn’t want her to be here alone so you stayed, helping her cook dinner. And you talked about all the things you knew you would, something cute the kids did, how her patrol went, what things you could put on the dining hall menu in the coming weeks. 

It’s all exactly how it should be. 

Until she frowns. 

“Are you busy Sunday?” You had sensed something was wrong with her but you assumed maybe she was just a little rattled coming off of a three day patrol. 

“No, did you need something?” You continue to chop up the sweet potatoes she now planned to use tonight instead of tomorrow. 

“We found a couple of strays, I thought maybe we could get them settled in.” 

Odd. 

Normally finding survivors would be the first thing she mentioned after returning, even stranger is the fact that she’d often waste no time getting them supplies and a home to make their own. But you're not one to question Maria’s judgment.

“Sure, we can do that Sunday morning.” You want to ask questions about it but she’s already changed the subject to doing a clothing drive at the community center so you don’t press. Despite the way the look on her face is bothering you.

It wasn’t fear, or discomfort, or something you could explain away with the excuse of the strays being off putting or violent. 

It’s a look of pity. 

As if she feels bad for even asking. 

It unsettles you enough to leave it be. Making idle chit chat with her until Tommy returns with the twins and you take them home. It unsettles you as you make your own dinner, as you give the twins a bath, and as you help them into their pajamas and read them a story. It never leaves your mind. 

“Goodnight Ruthie.” You lean down to kiss her forehead, watching her eyes flutter shut as she continues to fight sleep. Always the stubborn one. 

“Night Mama.” You take the stuffed bear from the foot of her bed, tucking it in beside her before quietly standing, walking across the room to your son's bed. 

“Goodnight Arthur.” You lean down, kissing both of his rosy cheeks, he doesn’t fight sleep the way his sister does. So similar but so different. 

“Goodnight Mama.” His little voice has the same southern drawl you know he’s been picking up from Tommy. 

“I love you, little ducks.” You smile at him, turning to see that Ruth is already asleep, you tuck in the blankets around Arthur before leaving, keeping the door cracked open a bit so the light from the kitchen can act as a night light. 

God, you're tired. 

You’re quick to shower and slip into your own pajamas, crawling into bed with a yawn. You take the book from your nightstand, flipping through until you find where you left off yesterday. 

You never really know what’s going on in the books you read, they serve a singular purpose and it isn’t entertainment. 

You read until you fall asleep, they’re just a distraction to keep your mind busy with thoughts so he can’t sneak in right before you fall asleep and embed himself in your dreams. 

It works.

Your dreams never feature him. 

They aren’t good dreams by any means, they’re wild. Often of your journey to Jackson, the fear you felt then. But you’ll take that over Joel any day. Tonight isn’t any different, your sleep is restless as you fight the memories of fighting for survival in those woods, but instead of your usual nightmares of infected hunting you through the trees you’re faced with a sight that somehow makes you even more uneasy than the living dead.

The look on Maria’s face when she told you about the two strays. 

support me on kofi!!

a/n : this fic has been bouncing around in my brain for months now and it feels so fucking good to finally start it omfg. sorry if this felt a little slow, i really needed to set a tone and a base for the story, sorry!!

[yandere-fetish]

Story Thought 💭

I've had this story idea since 2019 but I haven't had time. Here's a sneak peak. Should I continue or nah?

warnings: kidnap, yandere, possesive

Jacques is pronounced Jocks in French, but is pronounced in English as Jah-k-x.

"Where are we going?"

It was dark inside of his house as he led me down the stairs in the dark. I was slightly afraid since this was my first time over at his house. His hand was securely in mine as he grabbed a hold of my waist with his other.

"Jacques?"

"It's okay, baby. Trust me," his voice was smooth and soft as he whispered those words into my ear. Swallowing a giggle, I nod my head. "Good girl," his thick accent made me squeamish as he wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned his chin onto my shoulder blade.

His torso felt so nice on my back as he curled up to me from behind. I let a smile glide onto my face as he led me to the garage— from what I assumed. He had pulled me to a stopping point and I began to reach out for something. Before I knew what was happening, he was gliding me into the garage.

The coldness bit at my skin, making me shiver from the feeling. "Jacques, why is it so dark in—"

I was pushed onto a car. A gasp left my mouth as I felt the coldness of the car touch my naked skin. The clothes I had on were somewhat helpful with the cold. Before I had time to adjust to the temperature of the metal, I felt Jacques in front of me. His lips caught mine as he grabs my legs and hoisted me up onto the trunk of the car that I have yet to see.

I was so taken aback by the kiss that I had let Jacques' tongue into my mouth. I gasped at the feeling and let out a sound when he pulled me closer to his body, kissing me harder. When he pulled away, I barely knew how to react. Jacques had taken my first kiss.

What do you even do after having your first kiss?

"You're the one, (Y/N)." Jacques said in that perfect French accent. "And you're all mine," he kissed me once more before I felt him pull his hands behind my back.

Rope bound around my wrists and I pull away from Jacques. I was about to say something when he finished with the rope and gagged me. My eyes widened at his sudden act. I was soon blindfolded. I began kicking my feet as much as I could and tried to make as much noise as I could. However, I knew no one was going to hear me.

Jacques picked me off of the hood once he was able to tie my ankles together. I tried moving as much as I could, but as soon as I was placed in the backseat of the car, I started to cry. I felt his lips on my noise as he caressed my cheek with his slender fingers.

"Don't worry, mon amour," his accent was rich and made a shiver run down my spine, "I'm bringing you home."

Teenager (Y/N) has no idea what life has in store for her. She is a normal teenager with an attitude and worries. But for some reason, she can never land a date. And she doesn't really want to either.

On the first day back from winter break, there's a new kid in school and he's in her French class. But get this, he's French. He had the accent, the style, and the chivalry down to a T.

He's the perfect gentleman.

So when he suddenly takes interest in her, she doesn't know what to think. And the fact that she's failed on one test in French, doesn't help her at all.

And so the tutoring of French begins!

But when Jacques confesses that he likes her, he tutors her for free. It's all fun and games until she's kidnapped by him and shipped across the world.

Now (Y/N) must deal with his bitter ex-lover, the siblings, and the French culture.

Oh, and let's not forget the fact that his parents are the ones who want more grandchildren. Now.

[layla4567]

First of all. Loved your Mr. Tophat fic. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but with how you wrote him having a little tantrum and throwing his tophat on the ground, I could visualize that perfectly in my head. It made me laugh. Kudos to you. With that being said, whenever you get the chance, can I get Mr. Tophat x fem!reader who visits the carnival of doom and they’re a student journalist? They have a camera and walk around taking photos of the carnival to write of news review about it. Reader decided on making a story about the carnival since they’ve always loved the carnival and circus aesthetic and overall environment. Obviously mr. Tophat takes notice of this and as much as he is honored they love his carnival enough to make a news story about it, no one is supposed to remember it. So what is he to do about this situation? I’ll leave that up to you! Thank you again! And I’ll understand if you can’t write this! Sorry for rambling, I just love this character sm.

First of all: Your message made my day! You don't know how gratifying it is for me to know that you imagined the scene just as I thought of it, thank you very much. Second: Sorry for taking so long to answer this request 😭, your idea was very good and I loved it but when I wanted to write the story I had a little creative block lol (well besides I was writing other things) that said I hope you enjoy this story :)

ARE YOU LOST?

Mr. Tophat x Female reader

Summary: Your work as a journalist is not all joy and honey, when you come across the Carnival of Doom you will regret having visited it… or not?

Warnings: not proofread, mention of dagger wound, a tiny bit of blood mention nothing too serious, the reader is of legal age, maybe a dark/angst ending(?

WC: 3k

As a journalism student you are almost always outside your house taking photographs or taking notes about everything you see. In your room there were newspaper clippings that you took as inspiration and some of your own work that you had proudly framed on the wall. But your passion was not only journalism and getting juicy news but also carnivals and circuses. All that themes had always caught your attention since you were a child, you always thought that circuses, no matter how happy and fun they were on the outside, on the inside seemed mysterious and gloomy, hiding dark secrets and that fascinated you. That's why you didn't hesitate to visit the Carnival of Doom when you saw a poster days ago hanging on a street pole, it looked interesting and you hoped it wouldn't disappoint you.

Now you were lying on your bed with one leg bent over the other, sighing and holding up in front of your eyes the circus pamphlet that you had torn from the pole. You weren't sure whether to go or not, you had heard wonders about the circus (at least wonders for you) that it was mysterious and intriguing and was unlike any other. And where there is a mystery you always have to keep your nose in the matter, but… what if everything was a failure? It wouldn't be the first time you've been disappointed by news that seems incredible and then isn't even half of what they said. That's what you were doing when your mother knocked on the door before entering.

"Come in"

Your mother brought a tray with a sandwich and a glass of orange juice.

"Hi honey, sorry, I thought you were studying, I didn't want to interrupt you."

"Don't worry mum, I was taking a little break"

You left the bed and reached out to grab the tray that your mother lovingly handed you.

"It's ok love, don't stress too much and if you need anything else call me, alright?"

She caressed your cheek and you nodded, smiling. After she left your room, you sat at your desk and ate a little despite not being that hungry. Your head couldn't stop thinking about that damn circus. Ready to finish that once and for all, you grabbed your bag and put everything you needed: A notepad, your camera that you had bought with your savings and a small recorder just in case. You left your room and went down to the kitchen where your mother was still cooking, it seemed like she never got tired but that was her love language: making food.

She turned around when she felt your steps down the stairs.

"Oh Y/n, did you finish eating so quickly, daughter? Do you want something else, my love?"

You smiled sweetly "No mom, I'm fine. I just wanted to say that I'm going out for a while to photograph something and get some good news."

Your mother shook her head smiling as she looked back at the boiling pot on the stove. "Fine but please don't come back late, okay?"

You ran to put your arms around his shoulders and give him a soft kiss on his cheek. "I promise. You're the best, love ya!"

With your backpack on your shoulder you headed towards the famous circus. The sun fell over the horizon and dyed the sky soft lilacs and blues while the clouds contrasted in warmer colors such as oranges, pinks and yellows. When you arrived you noticed something different in the place, as if a cloudy and heavy atmosphere had settled in the air, but that wouldn't stop you, you were a girl who was difficult to scare. The circus was surrounded by all kinds of people: Contortionist women arching their backs and putting their heads between their legs while they couldn't stop staring at you, sword swallowers or men spitting fire like dragons. Although everything seemed threatening, you simply smiled sideways and took several photos. The closer you got to the entrance you saw clowns with sad makeup and ridiculous big shoes.

"Oh look at that"

You took a photo again and the clown seemed to frown, there was another one with a big made-up smile, you pointed the lens at his face and zoomed in but when you were going to take the photo you noticed something strange. Despite the cheerful makeup you could see deep anguish in his eyes, behind that false smile the clown seemed to ask for help with his pupils. Suddenly a tear seemed to roll down her cheek. You frowned and lowered the camera.

"Okay that was weird.."

You decided to spend that awkward moment and entered the tent where excited and anxious people were waiting for you sitting in the seats. In the center there was an empty round beach. You sat near the front with your camera ready, hoping to photograph the great presenter and hoping that they wouldn't take your camera away. They said that the ringleader was a fascinating man. Suddenly the lights went out and only two turned on pointing towards the center, the people's voices became a murmur until silence reigned. A tall figure wearing a black top hat slowly approached the platform from the darkness. You couldn't see almost anything but you heard a noise like something hitting the wood, when you realized it the distinguished man was already in the center with a cane in his hands. He carried it forward by his legs and stood tall, he was wearing a blood red jacket, black gloves and white pants with black stripes, it reminded you a little of Bettlejuice.

His hat was so big that it covered much of his features except his smile. A sinister smile with its corners stretched up to the ears. Suddenly he raised his head and you saw his eyes, green and just as hypnotic as his smile, everyone said that the circus presenter was mesmerazing but they had never said that he was so... attractive.

He cleared his throat and with a solemn gesture said "Ladies and gentlemen, human beings and creatures from the other side, I am your humble host Mr. Tophat and today I will be your guide that will take you to a totally new experience."

Mr. Tophat looked at the entire audience, but when you gave a small giggle upon hearing his stage name, he shifted his gaze until he met your eyes, and pierced them as if he wanted to enter your soul.

"I hope you like all of this and remember no matter how weird things get, it's all part of the show."

He said winking without taking his eyes off you, he bowed slightly and smiled again with that wide and macabre smile. The lights went out and when they came back on Mr. Tphat had disappeared from the platform. Everyone applauded but you felt a chill on the back of your neck, it was the first time you felt uncomfortable in a circus, you had always loved it when you were a child but you had to admit that this one truly was unique and not in a positive way. You shook your head remembering why you were there and prepared your camera, taking out the flash so as not to alert anyone. The first presentation was a man throwing knives at a target. At first it was quite boring, the target wasn't that far away and the man didn't even have his eyes closed. As if they had read your mind, the man took out a blindfold and covered his eyes, ok this was getting interesting. He aimed perfectly and hit all the knives. Suddenly Mr. Tophat appeared and asked for a volunteer to please come on stage. A 12-year-old girl raised her hand and walked up to the stage. The swordsman accompanied her to the target and you saw that they tied her wrists and ankles with a strap. You frowned and tilted your head, the entire audience seemed equally confused so the ringleader raised a hand to calm the atmosphere.

"Please don't be scared, everything is under control"

Mr. Tophat nodded to the man for permission and then began throwing the knives at the target. Everyone held their breath expecting the worst, but luckily no knife hurt the girl even though they passed close to her body. The audience applauded in relief while the presenter smiled satisfied. You raised the camera to your eyes and took a couple of photos without realizing that Mr. Tophat noticed.

"See? I told you so. But now how about we up the ante?"

People didn't understand what that meant but it couldn't be anything good. The ringleader grabbed the blindfold and covered the man's eyes. The audience felt their blood freeze and not even the flying of a fly could be heard, even the girl seemed to tremble with fear. The man stood tall and threw the first knife that hit the target over the little girl's head. The audience gasped and the girl screamed in fear while the presenter watched everything in amusement. The next knives stabbed near his arm, his stomach, and his inner thighs in that order while Mr. Tophat uttered enthusiastic, Machiavellian laughter. A dagger had grazed the girl's skin a little, causing her to bleed slightly, but despite that the girl was unharmed. The audience was horrified and seemed glued to their seats, unable to move or blink. This was definitely something new for you.

The following acts were not as disturbing as the previous one but they were still strange. You took as many photos as you could until you noticed that Mmr. Tophat looked at you suspiciously. At the end of the performance Mr. Tophat bowed, taking off his hat and saying goodbye laughing. After that strange performance, people didn't know whether to applaud or run. Without much applause, the people slowly left the tent in silence as if they were leaving a funeral. You sat there a little longer trying to process what had just happened. Was it all real or a vile trick? Mr. Tophat had said it was all part of the shor but… was it really all planned? You didn't even want to imagine what would have happened to that poor girl if the man missed with the daggers.

You got up determined to photograph the place and maybe you could even sneak into the dressing rooms and find out what everything was like backstage. You had a hunch that not everything was as it seemed, and if you could get the scoop on some dark secret of the circus you would be very successful. ! You could already imagine the covers: "Excentrio circus hides a macabre mystery about its shows."

Stealthy and silent as a mouse you slipped behind the curtain to photograph something, anything would do. Behind it were messy ropes and cables as well as wooden crates. You opened one trying not to make noise and looking everywhere nervous. You expected to discover human parts, rotten tentacles or something much worse but when you opened it you only found circus clothes. You searched the background a little but there was nothing suspicious, disappointed you walked further finding a dark door in a hallway. It was the only one and it was a little ajar, you hesitated whether to go in or not since that would be an invasion of privacy and you didn't want to be too disrespectful. But you wanted to get to the bottom of it so you grabbed the knob and sighed.

"It's all for my work"

Upon entering you noticed a mirror with bright, blinding lights that belonged to a white dresser. To your right was a large mahogany closet. You approached to see it closer and noticed a beautiful carving of roses on its edges. You did a 180 degree turn trying to find something interesting but damn there was nothing, where had all the people gone?

You walked over to the dresser and looked at the table trying to find something. There was a lot of makeup powder and some books. You picked one up and read on the cover "Dark magic and its secrets." Finally something interesting. You took a few photos, you were so focused on it that you didn't realize that someone was behind you.

"Didn't they teach you that it's rude to go through other people's belongings?"

You jumped and screamed as you turned around. Standing there with his cane on his shoulders was Mr. Tophat looking at you seriously. He placed the tip of the cane on the floor and approached slowly, without rushing, as if he knew you had no escape. And in fact it was

With every step he took you moved further away and stuck your body to the edge of the dresser, leaning your back back trying in vain to keep the distance between him and you. When the man was close enough, he raised the brim of his hat slightly with his index finger to look at you better. God, he was even more intimidating in person. His cologne flooded your nostrils and intoxicated you like the most powerful old wine. You had to close your eyes tightly to avoid his green-eyed gaze on yours.

"So you're the camera girl who was in the audience."

You opened your eyes in surprise and your eyebrows raised somewhat fearfully which caused Tophat's Cheshire smile as a soft guttural laugh left his lips.

"Oh please dear, you don't think I didn't notice do you?"

You swallowed loudly as you felt him get even closer to you and his gaze scanned you. He went from your eyes to slowly travel to your body, his almost predatory gaze made you nervous. His eyes finally stopped at your backpack that you were carrying over your shoulder.

"Mmh, what do we have here little one?

He quickly put his hand in your bag and took out your notebook.

"No! Give me that, it's mine!"

He laughed amused and held the notebook up while with his other hand on your shoulder he moved your body away from him, preventing you from reaching your notebook.

"Let's see what we have here, shall we?"

With his thumb he opened the notebook to a random page and his eyes quickly scanned your messy handwriting. When he read something his eyes widened slightly and his corners stretched up a little.

"Oh my my, but what is this I read here?" He quickly gave you a mischievous and surprised look as he returned his eyes to the paper "It's the first time that I have visited this circus and I find myself with the first pleasant surprise: The ringleader is not only magnetic and hypnotizing as many said, but he is also quite handsome."

You screamed in annoyance and embarrassment as you pathetically tried to squirm to escape his grasp and reach for his hand but he was stronger and just laughed loudly at your efforts. Then he threw the notebook aside and looked at you funny.

"You flatter me deeply, darling" He said, placing his hand over his heart. "They have called me many things, but this is the first time that a girl as pretty as you calls me handsome."

He smiled at you and gave a small bow without taking his eyes off yours just like he did when you were in the seats. Then he stood up and became a little more serious.

"Now let's talk seriously. Why did you really come to my circus? Are you a photographer?"

"Jo-journalism student"

Why did you have to tell him what you did? Stupid. You could have lied to him and that's it, he didn't have to know the truth. But shit, he was so intimidating and those almost neon green eyes made you dizzy if you looked at them for too long. His penetrating gaze made you feel naked, vulnerable before him, as if he could see through your skin, beyond your flesh.

"Ah I see.."

Mr. Tophat with his cane made slow circles around you like a vulture hungry for carrion. He looked you up and down, studying you, and was delighted when you turned your head nervously so as not to lose sight of him. Suddenly he stood next to you almost face to face and grabbed your chin tightly, making you turn your face so you could look at him, you moaned in pain.

"And I suppose the journalist wanted to reveal the secrets of this carnival, am I wrong?"

Faced with your silence, he lifted your chin so he could see you well.

"Come on, let me see those pretty eyes of yours and use your words, my dear."

It was the first time you felt afraid, really afraid. You didn't consider yourself a scary person at all, you laughed at horror movies and you loved supernatural things. But this was different, a feeling of danger oppressed your chest. Even so, you drew strength and courage from your gut to answer.

"Maybe"

At your outburst of bravery, Mr. Tophat let out a syrupy and poisonous laugh at the same time. He let go of your chin abruptly and walked away a few steps, caressing the end of his cane between his fingers.

"Oh darling, I'm afraid that won't be possible." He feigned sadness. "Maybe I'll have to keep you here for a while so you can reconsider."

All your alerts sounded inside you like the sirens of the purge. Stay locked up here? forever? No, you couldn't allow it. You quickly directed your gaze towards your notebook and towards the door behind Tophat. If he noticed he pretended not to, so you ran to pick up your notepad and then you rushed towards the door but he was faster and grabbed you by the arms firmly.

"Where are you going so fast huh? Please stay a little longer, the best hasn't started yet"

You turned your head everywhere in terror, trying to find a way out, until your gaze met the black magic book that you had photographed. Had this guy made a deal with the devil or something and that's why he behaved that way? If so you were screwed. The man noticed that you were looking at the book and put his arms around you, hugging you and brought his mouth close to your ear, his breath tickling you.

"I see you found my book, I can teach you some tricks if you want" He whispered, smiling

Those insinuations, his macabre smile, his strong grip and notorious superior power over you were too much. You fell to your knees to the ground dejected, tormented by the possible nightmare you were about to live. Mr. Tophat's evil laugh accompanied you for a long time as you felt your eyes water.

.........

You didn't come home that night, nor the next day or the day after that. Your mother desperately searched everywhere without giving up, hoping that one day you would return, in the streets and newspapers you can see wanted posters with your face on it. Y/n L/n's whereabouts were never found again, it seems that you were just another child of those disappeared by the demonic ringleader of the Carnival of Doom

[possessive-penholder]

I need to write more content for good 'ol Mr.Tophat I hardly see any content of him!

[writingmochi]

i only said | a visualizer and a teaser

cast: soobin ✗ fem.reader

synopsis: as you stood on the crowded train while making eye contact with the boy from the neighboring school. light shines into the dim train car as it becomes empty and filled with sand. approaching you is a humanoid figure, who calls you the king and queen of viliya—the island kingdom that is plagued with nightmares that haunt its people which you and the boy are also not immune to

genre: two lost souls find comfort, silent lovers, magical realism, meet ugly, hurt/comfort, adventure, thriller, coming of age, romance, high school au (both are 19 and in senior year), late 2010s au, modern royalty au, angst, fluff, mature content (phobias, trauma, war, explicit smut)

inspired by: music my bloody valentine's "i only said" (1991), txt's 2019-2020 star seekers music videos ("nap of the star", "magic island", "eternally"), and movies bridge to terabithia (2007) and tigers are not afraid (2017)

word count: 361 (teaser)

release: will not write so i can shock you ;) but it's going to be in 2024

message from the moon: i've been noticing a drought of epic and fantastical txt fics lately. so, i'm gonna do it myself :]

p.s. yes, late 2010s are already nostalgic enough that it can be its own au with its own style and tech

part of the loveless anthology

you always experience something weird when the train is nearing cheongdam. it is as if your senses are being attacked in a sweep when goosebumps form in a wave before it calms down. then it starts again as the train approaches the outdoor part of its journey to cross the body of water. the lights inside start to flicker as you see outside to view the han river from under the bridge, yet sometimes, it's not a river, but a beach.

the sky is the clear turquoise blue that reflects the seawater. the view of the river bank turns into sand that's lining the barrier of land and sea. you could sometimes hear the sound of crashing waves from it even if you only see the setting sky as it changes from day to night. though now, that turquoise sky is getting darker and darker, even darker than the sunset you usually see when you cross on the hanging tracks from the cheongdam bridge to ttukseom park.

then you see it: the visions.

quick timelapse of the neon street, crumbling buildings crashing down as their support couldn't hold on, humanoid beings who can fly as they attacked something dark. only the color orange highlights everything before you see flickers of a woman with long platinum blonde locks and white dress, calling out your name as your eyes are trying to focus on her heterochromia ones.

you've always held onto the nearest surface as you glance at the dots turning red between cheongdam and ttukseom park stations, breathing in and out as you felt your palm getting sweatier when you felt the whole compartment seemed to shake more and more as you approached the bridge and let the light from outside coming in. recently, the shakiness is getting rougher and the vision more frequent. but, you've always try to comfort yourself and see the boy across from you if he is okay.

because it seems like you're not the only one to notice all the things you've experienced, especially when you see him mumbling whilst staring at the red dots lighting up on top of the door when the train approaches the bridge.

taglist: @raeyunshm @leilasmom @evidive @boba-beom @kwiwin @heesw1fe @aloverga @endzii23 @fluffyywoo @camipendragon @hiqhkey @wccycc @cha0thicpisces @y4wnjunz @yeehawnana @beansworldsstuff @kimipxl @blurryriki @amazzwon @stayzentiny @rebsmoonn @angelbythewindow @ttyunz @itzzz-yerin @shinrjj

© writingmochi on tumblr, 2021-2024. all rights reserved

[asvterias]

my icons!! (3)

part 1 // part 2 // part 3 // part 4 // part 5

credit goes to me, so please tag me when you use any of the icons below! the scene pack i got it was from @scenepcksga on instagram!

Dior Goodjohn as Summer Dacosta in Are You Afraid of The Dark? (2019) — Nickelodeon

[glossamerfaerie]

This is obvious, but bear with me.

2020: publication of Crescent City 1, which introduces the concept of the four Houses of Midgard and how the series titles will mirror them.

2021: A COURT OF SILVER FLAMES (Nesta’s book with Cassian as love interest)

2022: CC2 releases. We find out about upcoming crossover.

2024: HOUSE OF FLAME AND SHADOW (CC3 crossover in which Nesta and Azriel are the main ACOTAR characters)

Double meaning: Nesta is Flame and Azriel is Shadow.

2025 (?): upcoming ACOTAR title. Extremely likely to be A COURT OF [ADJECTIVE] SHADOWS. (Azriel book with Gwyn). The phrase could also be “SHADOWY + NOUN” but I think that looks messier. Nesta’s book also used the plural noun with Flames.

***

Assuming that my 2025 guess is correct, HOFAS is literally bookended by two ACOTAR books with the ✨exact same title word as HOFAS.✨

“But wait,” you say, “this is just a coincidence. HOFAS is named after a House of Midgard, the one with the reapers and necromancers. CC1 was published way before these ACOTAR books. Flame and shadow are super common words!”

I think these titles and book order have been planned for a long time. It’s possible that SJM had shifting ideas when she wrote ACOFAS in 2017, but by the time she wrote CC1 (which clearly introduced multiverse concept with Bryce’s tattoo) in 2018/2019, SJM knew that she wanted Nesta and Az to be the prominent characters in CC3 and the upcoming ACOTAR protagonists. The crossover details may have changed over the years, but Nesta and Az prominence didn’t.

Definition of House of Flame and Shadow: “Daemonaki, Reapers, wraiths, vampyrs, draki, dragons, necromancers, and many wicked and unnamed things that even Urd herself cannot see.”

There is literally no reason why this House HAD to be named Flame and Shadow. The other Midgard houses have elements (Earth, Sky, Waters), but why use the word FLAME specifically? It could’ve been Embers, Blaze, Inferno, etc. SJM could’ve also used “Fire” — it didn’t need to be fancy since House of Many Waters just used Waters.

Same analysis with Shadow. What about that creature classification necessitated the word Shadow? There are lots of natural phenomenon associated with darkness and death and wickedness — the use of Shadow is a deliberate choice.

I genuinely think that this fandom overreaches with the theories. It’s like Taylor Swift — Swifties overthink every Easter egg, but sometimes the answer of the album title is just a giant billboard in a music video.

HOFAS is that giant billboard. SJM is not a complicated writer re: worldbuilding or foreshadowing. It is as simple as “the next ACOTAR books are Nesta and Azriel — what if I represented them in CC3 with the crossover title?” It’s obvious. Setting aside foreshadowing in the actual story, the answer can solely be found in the title.

I love Elucien and know it’s been a long wait, but I’m afraid that the wait is going to be longer than some people hope. I know people think Elain’s book is next but I really don’t see how that’s the case. Not interested in debating or explaining the Gwynriel ship rationale since there’s a million other posts out there.

Re: Azriel’s title being A COURT OF [ADJECTIVE] SHADOWS. I’ve seen people on all sides of the ship war suggest that the adjective be related to the heroine (Gwyn or Elain). I really don’t think so. The title will solely focus on Az, just like how SILVER FLAMES solely focused on Nesta. It could be MELODIC SHADOWS or WHISPERING SHADOWS or something else. But the adjective will fit an ability that we’ve already seen from Az’s shadows (we know they whisper to Az and can sing). Similarly, Elucien book title will solely focus on Elain. Cassian and Gwyn and Lucien are extremely important characters, but they won’t be represented in the title.

[tvontelevision]

[jamimix]

Nothing to Fear

Yandere Sans!Undertale x Reader

This is so random (●v●) I'm not in the fandom anymore. But since @iloveartaaa said pls, I'mma just post it.

Also, this was made some time in 2019(?) so it's not gonna be that well-written. Didn't proof read this either so...

Warnings: Mentions of killing, Stalking

It's already midnight when you stepped out of your workplace, tired and wanting to go home. Luckily, it's only 15 minutes away from your house if you take the right shortcuts. Though, you still felt annoyed at having stay out this late.

Blame goes to your stupid coworker who kept getting you in trouble.

As you walked, you couldn't help but feel as if you're being watched, a bit of paranoia getting to you. You would've ignored it, but your gut says that this probably isn't from your usual stalker.

Ahh yes, your stalker. You knew of him too, quite close to him in fact. But you never really minded, felt safer to have at least someone watching over you to make sure you're safe. And he only ever stalked you when you're outside, so it's fine.

Though, of course, he doesn't know that you know.

Turning a corner, you suddenly hear a scream from where you were. Curious, you turned back to the corner and took a peek.

And then you quickly turned around and walked away from the... disturbing scene.

Ignoring it with the thought of just going home. You felt like you should be shocked, disgusted, or even afraid. But honestly? You're not even shaken from what you saw.

You knew from the moment that you caught each others gaze that he's not as -for the lack of a better word- stable as he seems. And the fact that he's a stalker, well... that doesn't really scream sane, does it?

Sans has always been...something.

You're not sure if he knew that you saw, ('he does' your mind supplies.) but right now, your main course of actions is to really just go home. This has been quite a bothersome day.

-------------------------------------------------

Why are you not surprised that he's already at your home? The lights are off, the only way that you knew of him being here is because of his glowing eyelights. You held back an annoyed sigh as you stare back at him through the dark.

"What are you doing here, Sans?" You say, breaking the silence. Though, he chose to remain silent, just watching you. You rolled your eyes at him and looked towards where the light switch should be.

You moved towards it, but before you could, you suddenly found yourself in an almost bone-crushing embrace of the skeleton. Trying to pull away was fruitless, as he only tighten his grip, leaving you gasping a bit for air.

You sighed annoyed and then grimaced as you inhaled the stench of iron.

"....you need bath" you grumbled, face squished on his hoodie making your words come out as a mumble. He heard it anyways, the surprised chuckle says so.

"Of all things..." You hear him say, more to himself, in surprise.

Another silence then enveloped you both. Not uncomfortable, yet not comfortable either. Well, that's what you think the atmosphere felt like. You're legs are kinda getting a bit too tired, so you let yourself go limp, closing your eyes in the process.

Surprised (again), Sans adjusted his hold on you so that you wouldn't fall. A part of him worried, thinking that you suddenly just passed out. But a large part of him is quite giddy to have you in his arms.

Now holding you bridestyle, he couldn't help but grin wider with the already permanent smile on his face. He's not sure why you're not screaming and trying to get away from him, but he's not going to complain about it. This is basically saying that you're accepting him for who he is.

This is a blessing.

He couldn't help the laughter that came out at the thought. From the Underground, he and all of the other monsters, with the help of a human child, got out. The humans on the surface welcomed them with open arms, an 'apology' for the years of imprisonment.

When he and Papyrus moved here at the surface, he met you. The moment he saw you, it was like love at first sight. He was smitten.

It was then that he followed you around. Even became close friends with you just so he could have an excuse to hang out. And then now, even after getting caught killing someone, you seemed fine with it, with him.

He sure is lucky, isn't he?

But his expression darken when his thoughts went to the resets that he had gone through. No matter how many times that Frisk apologized, it can never fix what's been broken.

A sudden tap to his cheek brought him back from his thoughts. Looking down, he sees you staring at him with a questioning gaze.

"You 'kay?" He beamed at your worry, eyelights turning to heart shapes.

"S'nothin'" He says to you, holding you closer to him as he nuzzle his face to yours. You fluster at the action, but didn't do anything to stop him, merely letting him do what he wants.

Safe to say that, he'll N E V E R let you go.

-------------------------------------------------

I cringe at my past self. my writing sucks.