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saltnpepperbunny · 1 year

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Till World’s End- 2: Nine Days Remain

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COVER

Till World’s End is rated Mature. Viewer discretion advised. Content Warnings listed on the Cover.

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Selkie knew the routine.

Margarine the cutiefly fluttered up to her every morning in the mess hall, without fail. It was the price of breakfast: To get food, she had to deal with the bug’s incessant simpering. The constant, subtle tremble in its voice was a surefire way to set Selkie’s blood to a boil. To be fair, there were a small number of positives. It was a good opportunity for Selkie to practice her breathing exercises, her impulse control. And of course, money.

“Good morning, Selkie!” Margarine twittered. The cutiefly fluttered over the seat at the table to Selkie’s right. It had an oran berry in its little insect grip, probably all the breakfast such a tiny thing needed. Margarine set the oran berry down on the table and stuck its pointed nose into the flesh of the fruit, suckling for a few seconds before turning back to Selkie. “How are you doing this morning?”

“I’m fine,” Selkie lied. Stupid little thing. Please go away.

“Fine is fine! Fine is good.” Margarine said with a smile. It suckled its breakfast for another few seconds, then back to bothering Selkie. “I heard Shadow had a bad night. Is he okay?”

Ooh, hm. The conversation was suddenly interesting, if only slightly. Should she answer honestly or not? Answering honestly would betray weakness, the weakness of her unit, of her partner. But despite the advantage of its fairy-type over Shadow’s dark, Margarine was hardly a powerhouse. There was no immediate risk to telling the cutiefly the truth. However, a quick glance around the bustling mess hall reminded Selkie that Margarine was far from the only danger in this Guild. Stronger pokemon existed. Meaner pokemon existed. And Selkie had quite literally no faith in Margarine’s ability to keep a secret. All pokemon gossiped. All pokemon broke trust. Trusting Margarine to keep quiet on Shadow’s weakness was possibly the stupidest thing she could do. But on the other hand, Margarine had already heard about Shadow’s bad night. It wouldn’t be easy to craft a convincing cover-up on the spot like this. It was possible the entire Guild knew already; in fact, it was likely.

A snap of anger drifted through Selkie’s chest. Dammit. All pokemon sucked. Even her partner caused such awful problems for her. They were a team for Arceus’s sake; his weakness was her weakness! And goodness, was his weakness immense. She could still hear his screaming, see his thrashing, the wild panic in his eyes. It wasn’t his fault but dammit if it wasn’t fucking inconvenient—

“Selkie?”

“Shadow is fine,” Selkie lied. “He tends to recover quickly from nightmares. He’ll be at the morning briefing today.”

“I’m glad!” Margarine said with a bright grin. “It’s so worrisome that he gets nightmares so often. Almost every night lately, huh?”

Selkie felt her bones snapping. “Mhm.”

“Maybe he should see the Guild’s thera—”

“By the way, Margarine.” Selkie arranged herself for the next bit. Chin tucked just slightly, shoulders sagged, eyes drooped. She let out a little sigh. “I don’t think you’ve heard because I wouldn’t tell anyone but you. But… my grandmother’s getting worse.”

“Oh no…” Margarine breathed.

“Yeah,” Selkie sighed. She stared wistfully into the distance. “I went to visit her yesterday, b-but she didn’t even recognize me…”

Margarine’s lip quivered. “Oh, Selkie! I’m so sorry to hear that! That’s so hard.”

“It is…” Selkie lied. “I don’t know what to do anymore besides just… prepare for the worst… Her doctor won’t even look at her until I can scrounge together another few thousand poke. It’s so hard to make enough money as a gold-rank team. The Guild takes s-so much of our earnings, Shadow needs a psychiatrist, and I still have to feed my whole family back home…” She dropped her face into her flippers and shuddered. “I’m sorry. It’s just so hard.”

Selkie glanced up to see Margarine’s eyes had become wide and watery. It sure was something, the way emotions bounced from person to person, animal to animal like a contagion. Even Shadow was not immune to the effect, an observation that both surprised Selkie and not. The creatures of the world were locked together in a tango Selkie had never learned the steps to. Thank Arceus. She hated dancing.

She felt the softest tip tap of Margarine patting her with its little insect legs. “I’m sorry, Selkie! Here, let a fellow Guild recruit help you out.”

“I couldn’t possibly accept your generosity again—”

“I insist!”

And there it was. A white-gold coin, worth 2000 poke, produced from the cutiefly’s satchel and extended across the space between them. Selkie arranged her lips in a little smile. “Margarine… You’re so kind. Thank you.”

She took the coin from it gently with her flipper.

It took everything in Selkie not to bite Margarine in half when it flitted up and hugged her around the face. Obnoxious little thing, she hated those buzzing wings so much! “No problem! Some of us are in more fortunate circumstances than others. We gotta help each other out!” Margarine finally backed up and fluttered off from the table. “See you at the morning briefing, Selkie! Best wishes to your grandmother!”

Selkie watched it go, disappearing into the swathing crowd of pokemon in the hall. Finally, a bit of peace. She let the mask fall away, a rippled pool settling into stillness, and looked down at the coin in her flipper. A flick of her claw tossed it upward, and as she snatched it out of the air, she felt a subtle pressure in her chest she figured was maybe happiness. It would be logical, after all, to feel happy right now.

She finished breakfast without further interruption, and Selkie made her way out of the mess hall. She shuffled through the Guild’s corridors towards the main hall where the morning briefing would take place. Arceus, this briefing was going to be boring. It always was! The Guildmaster was likely going to speak on the expedition upcoming in several weeks’ time, but considering the timeline of the situation, there was no reason to give a damn about which teams would be selected for the trip. So, there was literally no point in listening to the Guildmaster drone on and on and on. How fucking agonizing! The boredom was a rot in her brain!

“Selkie!”

Her ears pricked. Selkie looked up to see, well, herself at the opposite side of the corridor. Thank Arceus it was just the two of them or this would’ve been problematic. Another popplio sat facing her, with her same spiky blue fur, same dull pink nose, same splash of white on its chest. The mirror image even had the same leather chains of fangs and canine teeth tied around its flippers, accessories Selkie couldn’t be caught dead without. The only difference between her and the doppelganger were the eyes. Selkie’s were a dull, dark brown, the color of a stagnant pond. Her reflection’s eyes were stormy, electric blue.

This was always a bizarre occurrence, to see herself wandering the tunnels of the underground Guild. She wouldn’t care at all if it weren’t for those eyes. They broadcast emotion like a beam into the sky. Within that stormy blue, she could see winds of glee, downpours of sadness, the blinding crack of anger. To see herself so… exposed… Her chest squeezed.

Selkie bared her teeth just enough to show the tips of her fangs. “Change back, Shadow! There can’t be two of us in one place!”

Her reflection blinked and sputtered. “O-o-oh! Right, sorry!”

The second popplio melted into a haze of gray, flickering like TV static, and then pulled back together into the image of Shadow. Ah. Much better. The dark gray zorua smiled sheepishly at her, eyes melting with love, and Selkie whipped her head away. What a ridiculous little creature. He was so shamelessly loving, so brazenly emotional, his eyes betrayed all. How he could dare to stand before her and not tremble with embarrassment was something Selkie never expected to be able to understand.

It was nice to see him again.

Shadow lifted his hind foot to scratch at the back of his ear. His claws clinked against the single, curved fang stuck through the bottom of his ear like an earring. “I don’t mean to cause problems for you, Selkie. I just—”

“I know. You get nervous,” Selkie shrugged. Shadow was a nervous little creature; aloneness terrified him. Selkie tried to be at his side whenever possible since her mere presence was like a thunder jacket for the zorua. When she couldn’t be, Shadow (with her permission) walked the Guild halls disguised as her, acting as her when he encountered other pokemon. Did Selkie find it a little unsettling? Yeah. Was that a logical reason to stop Shadow from comforting himself in that way? Not really. It was just unfortunate that she couldn’t look his illusion version of herself in the eye without feeling a rattle in her spine.

“I can stop if you mind—”

“I don’t mind,” Selkie affirmed. Because honestly, squeamishness aside, she didn’t. Shadow’s comfort was worth her own lack thereof.

She curved the corners of her lips up into a smile, since being happy would make sense right now. “Look!” She brought out the coin she’d earned at breakfast. “I got money to buy you a drink at the café later.”

Shadow’s eyes lit up like sunbeams. “Wow, thank you! Selkie, you’re the best!” The corners of his eyes crinkled softly, his impossibly fluffy tail swished to and fro. Oh, she hated to admit it, but what a victory that smile was. It was the satisfaction of a child feeding their pet goldeen, the soft, wistful glee of watering the plants in one’s garden. Tending to her own.

With a pressure in her chest that she figured must be happiness, Selkie lifted up a flipper and rubbed Shadow on the head. He giggled as she played with the tuft of fur on his crown. “Come on, Shadow. Let’s go to morning briefing,” she said, passing him by and shuffling down the hall.

“Okay!” He trotted behind her.

The tunnels got busier, packed with more and more pokemon as Selkie and Shadow approached the main hall. As they ducked and dodged through swaths of pokemon far larger than them both, Selkie held her chin high. The smile she’d offered Shadow had since faded; there would be no smiling here, not with the animals about. Show no weakness. She felt the eyes all around them, boring through her fur, trying to pierce the skin to look into her heart. Her eyes were stone. Her face, neutral. They would get nothing out of her. The water was still as ice.

With Selkie in front and Shadow in tow, they pushed their way through the crowd into the main hall. It was the largest space in the underground Guild; the concave ceiling stretched high overhead, splattered with navy blue paint and white speckles to represent the constellations. Selkie liked stars, but she didn’t know these constellations by heart. They weren’t her constellations. She’d learned them all once, she refused to do it again. The room sported an array of wooden bulletin boards covered in yellow fliers. If she concentrated hard, she could read the signs above them: Rescue Jobs, Exploration Jobs, Escort Missions, Service Jobs, Wanted Outlaws. But trying to decipher the pokemon’s footprint runes was a headache. Thank goodness she had Shadow to read things for her now because fuck that, honestly.

The main hall was always bustling with pokemon looking for jobs, returning from outings, or meeting with clients. But the morning briefing drew in crowds that packed the place like a can of fish. Shadow in tow, Selkie pushed her way to the front where the littlest pokemon stood, fixed her gaze on the closed double doors at the head of the hall, and waited.

Within a few moments, they swung open. A hush swept over the crowd like wind over grass, and Selkie felt in the ground the thud thud thuds of Guildmaster Kommo-o’s footsteps. The master of Spectrum Island Rescue Guild was a hulking beast that dwarfed most pokemon, with scars to boot and yellow eyes of gentle intensity. Its voice was deep as the core of the earth. Selkie knew this thing was on a whole other scale of power. That didn’t stop the itch to someday take it in a fight, hopefully before time was up. Oh, to imagine the thrill that would come from gouging out that thing’s throat…

“Good morning, my lovely recruits! It’s time for the morning briefing.” Kommo-o’s voice boomed through the hall. Its yellow eyes were melted caramels. “I know most of you are here for news of the upcoming expedition, but it’ll have to wait! I’m still in the process of finalizing the selections.”

Selkie let out a long huff. Lazy slowpoke.

“But I do have an exciting announcement this morning! Our Guild has a new recruit starting today. Come on out!”

Selkie’s eye twitched. She could not give less of a damn about new recruits. Maybe she’d go track the newbie down, cut its tail off with a pair of garden shears, and leave it on the Guildmaster’s doorstep for wasting her fucking time with this shit. She lifted her head to see what pokemon she’d hopefully be maiming later today, and out through the double doors came…

The instant their eyes met, Selkie’s heart dropped to the bottom of her chest.

It was a litten. Common pokemon in these parts, common species on tropical islands, but this one, uncommon as a star in a daylit sky. Nothing of its appearance betrayed its true nature. It had the same triangular ears, same black fur, same red stripes, same yellow eyes of any ordinary litten. But the instant it set foot in the room, she knew. How she knew, she had no idea, but there was no mistake. Nothing of this ilk could hide from Selkie. The heat of her body drained through the tips of her claws, and Selkie felt her mouth run dry as she remembered, for the first time in a long time, the sensation of fear.

The Guild’s new recruit was a human boy.

“Everyone, this is Lyn. He’ll be working alongside you from now on. Make sure to be welcoming!” As the Guildmaster spoke, the human-turned-litten scanned the crowd of pokemon with half-lidded, disinterested eyes. When Lyn’s gaze fell on Selkie, he blinked and frowned. Shit, had her facial expression betrayed her?! She shot the boy a ferocious snarl, and in response, he dropped his frown and moved on, feline face solidifying once again into mild indifference.

Oh. That was not the reaction she’d expected. Was this stupid creature not afraid? She thought him laughably foolish for a moment before realizing: Was he not afraid because… he’d seen her own fear? Had her face truly betrayed her? Selkie’s body started to tremble. Why was she trembling? She suddenly felt like she was going to cough something up. Why?! What was happening to her?!

“AUGH!” Selkie stormed from the main hall. She paced away down the corridor, her only goal to put as much distance between herself and the others as possible. Goddammit, goddammit! Was this what happened when she let her fear leak to the surface? Was she still just the stupid little girl who cried and cried and couldn’t stop crying? Who felt fear so strong it could devour her whole? No! She was stronger now, she was better, she was safer, she was powerful, or at least she was supposed to be. But now there was an enemy in the Guild and Selkie had immediately betrayed weakness to him. Stupid, stupid humans—

“Selkie!”

“Ack!”

She whipped around, teeth bared. Shadow flinched backwards, and Selkie barked, “For fuck’s sake, Shadow, don’t sneak up on me like that! What the hell’s wrong with you?!”

Shadow didn’t respond for a long moment. The little zorua was cowering. His lips quivered. His eyes started to glisten.

Fucking hell.

Fix it. She had to fix it, immediately, or the pathetic little thing would spiral into a meltdown. She’d made the mistake of not making immediate reparations before. She could not deal with Shadow’s shit right now if he spiraled.

“Shadow, I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to lash out at you.” She shoved down the frustration of not being able to still the tremor in her voice. “You’re not the one who upset me. You just startled me. Are you okay?”

Shadow blinked at her. His lip continued to tremble, and the little thing sniffled. Selkie frowned. She didn’t like to see him like this. She didn’t like to be the reason he was like this. But she had to be patient and let her words do their work. Sometimes, it seemed like Shadow was slow to listen. Selkie could say I love you and watch the words sink into her partner in real time. The way his eyes would widen slightly, like you’d told him something new or that he’d never considered before. His ears would shift, his mouth would go just slightly agape. And slowly, the words would internalize. Selkie watched it happen now, here, in real time. And Shadow sniffled again and wiped the tears away. “Okay…”

Seeming to have collected himself, Shadow picked himself up off the ground and stretched towards her. His stormy eyes glistened with concern. “I was just so worried when you ran out of the briefing! Are you okay?”

Selkie hesitated. How to answer that question? There was very minimal risk in being honest with Shadow. Shadow was a weak little thing; he would die before using her weakness against her. But even still, the fear in her heart muzzled her. To answer honestly, to say no, I’m not okay was a wall even she did not have the power to climb. Weak little popplio. Weak little child. But even so, Shadow needed some of the truth. He was her partner. And trying to obscure this complicated mess would hurt her in the end. The thought of it made her want to cough up her entire stomach, but she was going to need—ugh—help.

“Shadow…” Selkie said. “That litten is a human.”

Shadow’s eyes stretched wide as saucers. His mouth fell open. “Wh-wh-what?”

“I sensed it the instant he walked into the room.”

“But how can that be?! You’re supposed to be the only—”

“Not so loud!” Selkie hissed, and Shadow clamped his jaw shut. She tried to give him a soft look so his sensitive soul wouldn’t take it to heart. She glanced around the corridor to make sure they were alone before continuing. “I don’t know how this can be. I’ve never met another human in this world. Everything was going perfectly! Why now of all times did another human have to…”

Shadow stared at her as she trailed off. “Selkie… Do you think the other human is here to save the world?”

Selkie grimaced. He’d read her mind. She hated when he did that. “… It’s… likely.”

Shadow’s ears pressed back. His tail started to thrash. Lightning lit his stormy eyes. “But he can’t do that! We’re so close! Selkie, we have to stop him somehow. He’s going to ruin everything!”

“I know!” Selkie growled. She felt a rattle in her lungs and forced herself to breathe calmly. In, out, in, out. Relax for fuck’s sake. “I know. I’m going to keep an eye on things. I’ll handle it. Okay, Shadow? I’ll handle it.”

“We’ll handle it.” Shadow took a step closer to her. Rain, thunder, and lightning danced in his eyes. They betrayed all. “Okay, Selkie? We’re… we’re gonna handle it together, okay? You’re not alone in this.” He stepped even closer, and Selkie let him gently lick the base of her ear. “You’re the hero, and I’m your partner. You’re not alone.”

Selkie stared at Shadow for what felt like forever. They were so close in physical space; his little breaths tickled her fur. If he was any other pokemon, Selkie would shove him away. If he was any other pokemon, he wouldn’t be he, but rather it, an animal, a thing. But Shadow wasn’t an animal. He wasn’t a thing.

He was another soul in the dark.

Selkie swallowed her spit. For such a weak, desperate creature, Shadow truly was an impossibility. Pokemon were its. Pokemon were things. And in her own world, humans gave her the same impression. They were resources to be used, obstacles to be dodged, hazards to be wary of. Most understood from birth that other humans were living beings with wants and wishes of their own, who could feel pain. A guidance counselor had to explain the concept to Selkie after she tried to smother another student with her winter jacket in the fourth grade. This was, apparently, the fundamental difference that made other humans “normal” and Selkie “broken.” Normal humans affiliated with each other, for no reason other than its own sake. Normal humans cared for each other, and for each other felt some kind of emotion called “love.” But how was she supposed to care when relationships ended in nothing but drained resources, wasted time, and a feeling of brokenness? She wasn’t dysfunctional. She was right. Humans were worth nothing, pokemon were worth nothing, and nothing—not even being transformed, transported across spacetime, and saddled with an impossible task—could convince Selkie otherwise.

Nothing, that was, until she met a broken, little zorua in a deep, gray cave.

What changed? Selkie still didn’t know. It terrified her not to know. But when she looked at Shadow, something stirred in her icy heart. Like his storm had whipped up her still waters, warm hurricane winds melted the glacier, and out from it came feelings she never thought herself capable of experiencing. Happiness. Liking. Affection, fucking affection. Maybe it was her possessiveness that bound her to Shadow, the feeling of MINE that struck whenever she looked at him. Even normal humans had pets, and those normal humans often preferred their pets remained safe and well-kempt. Maybe it was his obsessive devotion to her. Nothing made Selkie feel powerful like knowing that Shadow was completely within her control. A simple insult could drive the zorua to madness: she’d once told him she wasn’t fond of him just to see what he would do and later found him gouging himself on broken glass. Oh, the idea that she could make that happen, the power she had over Shadow was juicy. Megalomania was a hell of a drug.

But when she saw her little pup slashing his wrists, the result of her words, she felt bad. She’d slapped the broken bottle out of his paws, dragged him to their dorm, wrapped his gushing wounds in linens and moss and whatever she could find because for reasons she couldn’t explain, she didn’t want him to die. What was wrong with her? What was happening? What about Shadow made her smile when she thought of him? What about Shadow made her possessive and protective? What about Shadow made her allow him to inconvenience her, to drain her resources, to be real, the only real thing in all the worlds she’d ever walked?

The hardest part was knowing that deep down, Shadow had power over her, too. He was her partner. He was her exception. He was trustworthy, valuable, unique, qualities Selkie had never expected to find in a human, let alone a pokemon. Shadow had the power to not be an object in her eyes. He had the power to be real. In the only way she could truly manage, Selkie cared about Shadow. And that was scarier than the end of the world.

Was this love?

“I know I’m not alone. I have you,” Selkie said. She pushed her nose into his fur and licked his cheek. It did nothing for her, but she knew he loved it. Then, Selkie pushed past Shadow and stared back down the corridor towards the main hall, where within, the human awaited. It was hard to get invested in anything when she knew it would cease to matter in nine days. It was hard to stave off the boredom, the rot in her brain. But finally, the itch was scratched. Selkie wasn’t afraid. She was powerful, the most powerful creature in this world, and nothing was going to break the promise she and her partner made. Nothing would ruin their happy ending. And if the human Lyn had anything to say about it, he was welcome to meet Selkie’s wrath.

Arceus above. This was going to be interesting.

#pokemon #pokemon fanfic #pmd #pmd fanfic #pmd fanfiction #pokemon fanfiction #pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd till world's end #prose #literature #fanfic #popplio #zorua #fanfiction

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betweeninstrumentsandbooks · 1 year

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i’ve been working on a restaurant for the past two months and it has worked ⭐ miracles ⭐ for my mental health. Im guessing its because its given me the opportunity to actually do stuff and grow my confidence, seeing how I’m able to acomplish various tasks, and get an objective reward: money.

Ive also learnt how the wonderful thing that is to be profesional, and that has been *chefs kiss* for my anxiety/RSD/self-esteem, because if I, p.e, fuck up an order, its literally worhless for me to keep moping over it and just feel bad about it for days. It will just drain my energy and make the rest of the workday worse. Instead, what I am supposed to do is to apologize and keep swimming. Because its not a fault of me as a person, its a skill i’m perfecting. Thats what being profesional means to me. Im not saying I should ignore my feelings, or just “suck it up” because that has never worked, im saying i can now see it in an objective way, something i had never been able to do before because i hadnt had the oportunity. And on the same line, if a coworker does something that would usually trigger my RSD, its not because I am a worthless human being, its because we are working. My bartending teacher told me thats its common in kitchens to ask for stuff and not to say “please” or “thank you”, or to have coworkers tell you to move out of the way in ways that could be rude, but its not to be rude; its never in bad faith; its because you have to be quick (and of course, if you got hurt, you can talk to your coworkers later).

The second thing ive learnt is to fully separate what are my responsabilities and what are not. Because I’m working, im doing a service to both the people who come eat at the restaurant and to my boss. This is not a favor, its 100% transactional. If a client doesnt likes their food, tells me that, and doesnt leave a tip, thats their fucking business. Its not my food, Im following the cookbook my supervisor provided, and this isnt a fancy restaurant in the rich part of the city: ive had clients complain like this was the fucking Ritz; it is not, if you want a better service/food, go to the fancy side of town and pay the corresponding price for it. If my boss tries not to pay me my hours, I am on my full right to demand i get my whole salary and to keep pestering her until the deal is fair. She may heve her own personal issues, but thats not my fucking problem. I do not owe the company nothing. If I do owe anything, its to treat my coworkers with respect, because they are with me every single day, they protect me and i protect them. And in this case, its not even a matter of owing here, its they they are my “siblings in arms” and i want to treat them in the best way possible.

The third thing ive learnt is how to manage my stress in a better way. Lets say i have a table, im making their food, and two more tables come in. I have to take their orders, set their tables, make their food, get whatever im missing from the storage, keep the dishes clean enough so i dont loose time washing them, etc. And that does makes my heart race and the fawn/freeze response start to set in. BUT i know what i have to do and how to to it: i just need a few seconds so the list of things to do gets organized in my brain. Its like in videogames: i visualize as a list of tasks that gets arranged according to time and complexity. What do I need, what am i missing, what can i do while I wait? If the burgers take five minutes to be done, I can set the tables and prepare the rest of what the burgers have while I wait, and after that is done and served so it doesnt get cold, i can throw the dirty dishes in the sink, squirt some dish soap and water on them, and rush to the storage to get what i need, and come back to get the table’s check. So, if i know what to do, how long does it takes, how to optimize everything, i have 0 reasons to get stressed.

The pay may be shit,and my boss is a shady af individual, but im happy i landed this job. Ive gotten the skills i have missed, and i will use them on my next jobs, and most importantly, in my life.

#mental health #work #im not even paid the minimum and im making the labor of like 4 people #but whatever #the restaurant is gonna close soon #:)

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hyunrun · 1 month

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mommy issues below 🐱

me when I'm third wheeling my mum and sister 😔 like ok I alr knew she was the favourite child you didn't also need to make me walk behind you on the very wide sidewalk 😂😂

my mum also got mad at me for being a considerate person 😶 apparently I'm acting too 'righteous' and asking her to not be in the way of old people is annoying her BC 'they can walk around us'

If I tried to explain to her that my social awareness is so high strung because I feel constantly anxious I know she'll shoot me down because she has diagnosed anxiety and she doesn't feel like that (let's forget that these things are not the same for everyone 😋)

and then once we pick up my little sister I have to watch her hug her and kiss her and whatever when a few hours earlier she shook off my hand for trying to hold her hand while we were walking 🐱

i know she loves me but sometimes she makes it really hard to believe that the love she holds for me measures up to the love she holds for my sister. i feel a little more like a failed experiment.

I don't want to feel bad because her period is starting soon so maybe she's just snappy because of that. I'm not even angry at her I'm just sad and mad at myself for being stupid and always getting on her nerves (I am a little mad at her but I don't want to be because we'd only get in a fight if I am and then I'd just feel worse when I lose it because I'd never try to win a fight w her because she'd probably kick me out on the streets for a night 😼😎).

sitting across her on the verge of tears at a restaurant and she hasn't noticed yet because she's too busy doing something (literally idk what they're on her phone) w my sister but to give her credit I'm good at looking like I'm not crying when I'm crying

sometimes I feel like it's just a bit of retribution for me causing her hell before and after I was born but sometimes I want to disappear from this earth just so my family has an easier time I'm really tired of feeling like a constant burden and annoyance.

i always want to be like my sister too and it sucks but she's so cool for being 11. she's so self assured and strong and literally everything I'm not which is so embarrassing. whenever we meet Anyone all my mum cares to say about her is positive in comparison to my negative and I hate it so much because I just have to smile through my teeth. but I also love my sister too much to condemn her for it BC she's so talented and pretty and amazing and deserves everything she has but I just wished I had it too. even socially she's so graceful. i love people so much and I care too much and I run after them and stick to them and act like a leech just because I love them but I feel like everyone slips between my fingers but on the other hand my sister is so chill and doesn't need people around her but somehow is so magnetic and wonderful that people flock around her anyway.

my mum always jokes about the fact that she had to put so much effort into knowing kids' parents when I was younger BC she had to arrange playdates n stuff for me and I feel so bad and disgusting but I know it was just the reality but idk.

i feel like I'm about to hyperventilate and cry but my mum wants me to give her a leg massage and my dad wants me to video call him so I'll be back later ig 😋 (future me - my mum yelled a time for taking too long to give her the leg massage (I wasnt going to her because I was about to cry) and my dad was too sleepy to see I was upset (not his fault) so that was fun) anyway I'm tired of writing this post because I seem so annoying so if anyone reads this far then 🙏⁉️ this is embarrassing but ty for sticking around haha

#kal rambles #tw vent #vent tw #i love my mum and sister too much really #and i hate myself !

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diariesof-kg · 1 year

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7_13_23

Not sure exactly what to say. I really miss my mom. The interesting thing I love and allows me to feel somewhat 'okay' is speaking about her as if she still is living. I know it can be uncomfortable for others, because what do you say to someone who is mourning. I appreciate those who allow me that space. I appreciate my one friend who reaches out every month checking to see if I'm okay. It's about to be seven months, every day it really feels unreal. She visits me a lot in my dreams, I guess. I think that emotionally makes it even worse. We went to Costco together and it was bittersweet until the end. I feel like people think because its been months that you are okay. I am grateful for my friends that don't feel no way about my absence. When I just need a moment, whether that's days or weeks. I sometimes feel bad that I can't give what I would normally give. That I can't support the way I use to. My heart really has a hole in it. I am already thinking ahead about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Trying to figure out how I will survive it. I asked my best friend if I could possibly come to her and her girlfriend's family house. My sister will be in town so I am unsure of the arrangements. I never knew what loneliness felt like until now. I understand when my sister does what she does to not be sucked in by the silence and the darkness.

My friend from New Orleans called early morning and honestly I didn't mind it. She always calls when I disappear for too long. I enjoy the early morning texts, the calls in general, it warms the soul to be honest, no matter who it comes from. I told my other best friend, I dislike my life its very routine. Waking up everyday same time, doing the same thing with no type of human interaction is detrimental. Humans are dysfunctional to me, but are needed. Humans lack a lot of emotions due to trauma, but I don't mind it. I think parts of me wants to get out and scream. Parts of me wants to meet new people and parts of me don't. I am always blamed for so much that isn't even my fault and that makes me want to void human life. I have missed calls that I need to actually callback, but it stresses me out to even be on the phone. I want to get back on social media, but I always have to explain myself and knowingly I don't owe anyone anything, it still feels like I do. I have canceled plans with people, because I become overwhelmed and I don't understand where it comes from. I still feel numb I guess? Maybe I've healed so much that I am broken now? That questions still remains the same. I reopened a website to try to join groups of individuals that are likeminded. They have this whole retreat for lesbians around Labor Day for less than $500. Black women who love women. At this point, I am like this is what I need a moment to get away, but then I don't trust anyone watching my brother, so I feel trapped. It's doable I suppose. I do have my fellow Capricorn who literally would help me out. I love us. Always down to assist. It's a thought. I mean what am I going to do on Labor Day weekend? I checked the calendar and I know my work is already closed and filled.

I definitely don't like latching on to people just because of loneliness and being sad, that's more harm than good in my eyes. I do appreciate my friend inviting me over for taco Tuesday a couple of weeks ago, just because, she lost her dad and she knows what it is like. Same with my other friend down the street losing her mother, always inviting me for some wine and food. To be honest I love that. Checking in and inviting you to their home, people don't realize how smalls gestures and thoughts carry in someone's life. Thankful they don't have their DND on all day, unlike a fake friend I had. Same with my best friend girlfriend inviting me over just for movie night. They understand being in this house is traumatizing. Bringing me into their space with all the positive energies is different. I just started crying ....I am grateful for them. I know my sister barely knows anyone out there except one and doesn't like staying at her place. it's still fresh wounds. I honestly hate living here. Lol, every time I come home I look at the front and just scream inside. I am grateful for my mom making sure her children were straight. I have a whole house. Lol, and a car basically for free. Lol, the sarcasm to keep from crying. Tomorrow is Friday thank God, hopefully I can get out and about. I really want to go visit mom, but I don't want to go alone. I have my brother but it still feels alone. I feel like I want to go and start digging, Lol, because this is some sort of dimensional that has been distorted and it's a dream that I am living, but the dreams are actually reality. Imagine having a conversation with someone who mind is small, about the abstracts of reality. Phew... scary.

I am a late night conversationalist. I speak of things that would question your subconscious. Make you question so many things. I enjoy in depth conversations, because it shows how far a human mind can go. Nothing has to make sense in those conversations and I love that. It's like being excited about random shit that has been floating in your mind and saying it without being judged. That's who I am. I do want to go back to social media but for some reason it stresses me out. I think it actually creates toxins in the mind. It's drama and chaos and I don't have that in my life so I am unable to relate. Maybe I will stick to Snapchat and Twitter? As soon as people wake up, they grab their phones. I actually text everyone Goodmorning... That's actually a great discussion to have among those that don't crave social media. Everyone who does that are like distorted humans that can't function. If I posted this on Snapchat I would start a riot. Some people post on social media and that's great, others get on there and become robotic and scroll and scroll. When I did get on there after acknowledging actually humans I know, I'd scroll for less a minute than get off, then everyone sends me posts and it felt overwhelming, because it was DMs after DMs and videos after videos and I felt overloaded. I'd real life stress about opening a DM and there were over 10 videos. It's too much, I'd reply to a DM then pray they don't respond, because I'd have to respond. It's mentally painful.

Speaking of social media caused me to panic and wanting to disappear again It's real life toxic. But bless the devious souls who are able to stand it. Maybe I should start to go on retreats? I love nature and have been in it a couple of times to admire its beauty without the toxins of cellular transmitting. I think a part of me is like, okay, if I go on this black queer women's retreat, the compliments of "you look younger" has got to stop. That also makes me not want to go, I appreciate it, but it be annoying in reality. They have a queer cruise too. I need to figure out what is happening to my outgoing personality. It's like I want to go outside and be with the humans, but I also want to be a hermit crab. There are some LGBTQ outings coming up, I just have to stop making excuses for why I can not. And why I should. And maybe meeting new people, I will impact their life, bringing something that they needed. I also need to help the homeless like I did previously.

To end this post; unfamiliar numbers call as well as private. I can only think of two people at this time. I don't even have the energy or curiosity to know what they want. Yall all of a sudden want to be with me huh, Lol. Why people set themselves up for failure will always be a mystery to me. If I did a podcast I'd provide some sort of insight to be a better person for yourself and your future partner. We all have flaws, because well humans are trial and errors of the world, but they don't define a person's identity. I remember giving this chick advice on bettering herself for some girl she liked, then in the process had the audacity to have a crush on me, like no ma'am stay focused. Spirituality has done a lot for me and that would be my focus. Manifesting and really having intentions gets you what you desire. See humans, desire things on the ideals of trauma and hurt and not on the ideals of healed and ready. Lol, I just be saying shit that feels like butter. But on the real, it's true. I come healed and ready and open to receiving. I don't hide things from the person I am dating. I've been hurt and cautious but also very open to receiving, see how I mentioned that twice. I hear people say, "i will never do that again..because of what happened last time." I understand that fully. Fear of receiving the same results and fear of feeling those don't feel good emotions, but that actually hinders you. But I guess that's what makes me a catch to some. Listen, I've been hurt and screwed over, but I am still going to show up with flowers randomly, write love notes, ask to see you, ask questions, etc., even though in the past I've been rejected or shit hit the fan when I did gestures. You know why, because the person I am dating is not the past and doesn't deserve someone else's pain. Might need to read that again. I won't express my emotions because of this and that. Honey, I've been rejected for expressing my emotions, but no one and nothing is going to stop me from still being who I am. I am on the wrong planet, right? Lol, wrong dimension, wrong universe, wrong vessel? So when I hear things, I think so ...I have to be punished for someone else's doing or even your own doing. And most people, get it, but by then Im uninterested. Hence the thirty day rule.

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minisugakoobies · 3 years

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All Your Fault | JHS

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: smut, drabble, PWP, established relationship, non-Idol!AU

Rating: M (18+)

Warnings: kissing, fingering, vaginal sex, oral sex (f receiving), cum eating, I went into a fugue state upon seeing Hobi's latest pics and this is the result

Word Count: 795

Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I don’t own BTS - they simply inspire me

Summary: It's all Hobi's fault!

A/N: Those paradise pics really got to me, y'all. Just a little drabble inspired by Hobi's latest thirst trap. Also @dntaewithluv and @reliablemitten peer pressured me and @xjoonchildx got caught in the crossfire. 💕

Masterlist 💜 Find me on AO3 💜

It’s all Hobi's fault.

"Three days," you huff out, rolling your hips as your boyfriend hisses. "We have been huff in paradise for three days huff and we haven't left this room!"

"Now you're complaining?" Hobi protests, his long fingers kneading your plump ass as you continue to work your hips. "Fuck, baby, as much as I love this view, why won't you turn around for me?"

"Because huff I'm mad!" And mad you are. Enough to ride your boyfriend reverse cowgirl so you don’t have to look at him. But not enough to not fuck him, because you’re only human. A very, very horny human, thanks to the gorgeous man underneath and inside you.

Hobi had promised you the vacation of a lifetime, booking a suite in a very private hotel in a very secluded area of a very beautiful island paradise. On the long plane ride here, you couldn’t stop talking about all the things you wanted to do once you landed - hit the beach, swim with dolphins, go to a luau - all while he enthusiastically agreed to every idea.

But all those plans went right out the window once you’d gotten to your room. All it takes is one look from your boyfriend, or one kiss, or even just one simple “Baby,” uttered in that low register he saves only for you, and you’re rolling in the sheets again.

For three days now.

From the sounds escaping Hobi’s lips, the tiny stuttered “ah-ah-ah’s” as you trace figure eights with your core, you know he’s close. So you stop immediately, and as he whines, you switch to bobbing up and down on his dick, drawing all the way off of him and plunging back down over and over.

The sensation of his thick head parting your folds repeatedly pushes Hobi over the edge and he cums hard with a loud “Fuck!” You watch his toes literally curl as his legs flail beneath you and he continues to thrust up into you as you milk him dry.

But you’re not satisfied yet, and Hobi knows it. As soon as he’s regained the ability to think, he shifts, turning over, taking you with him. You squeak in surprise as you’re tossed on your side.

“Hobi!”

He laughs as you glower at him, arranging himself between your legs. “Sorry, baby. But my job’s not done here.” He nibbles on the inside of your thigh, making you gasp.

Well, far be it from you to argue with that. But you’re still feeling peevish, so you pout down at him as you prop yourself up on your elbows. “I thought your job was to give me the best vacation ever? That’s what you promised!”

Hobi shakes his head. “You mean multiple orgasms all day long isn’t enough? Greedy girl.”

You scoff. “I wanna see the ocean! We haven’t even gone down to the beach yet! I wanna - oh fuck,” you moan as Hobi lowers his plush lips to your clit and gives it a gentle suck. His fingers pry you open to allow his tongue to slip inside. You fall back onto the bed, head hitting a soft pillow as your boyfriend’s magical tongue works you over.

As you groan, clutching at the expensive sheets on the hotel bed, Hobi buries his face in your cunt, licking and sucking like you’re the most delicious treat, one he can’t get enough of. His lithe fingers stroke your inner wall and your moans grow louder, more wanton.

All your complaints fall by the wayside as you buck against Hobi’s handsome face. He grabs your left hand and slides it into his silky black hair, urging you to tug on the strands and guide him. The way he hums into you makes your eyes fall shut in bliss, and your other hand clutches at your breast, rolling your nipple between your fingers to feel it pebble beneath your touch.

“Hobi,” you practically sob, hips lifting off the bed as your boyfriend suckles on your clit, his hand thrusting as the wave of pleasure reaches its peak and crashes into you, carrying you away with a loud cry.

Hobi’s tongue never ceases, wiping you clean of your climax and his own, until you can take no more and release your grip on his hair. He slides up your body, dropping light kisses on your breasts as you sigh contentedly.

“Still mad?” he asks, flashing a cheeky grin.

“Asshole. Obviously not. But I do want to see the ocean. At some point.”

“Of course, baby,” he replies, tongue flicking over a nipple and making you keen. “But… maybe later?”

You nod, happily resigned to your fate. “Maybe later.” And reach out for him as he hovers over you, lowering his mouth to yours.

921 notes · View notes

whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years

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calculated iii, m | jjk

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: You wanted to say that you were able to control yourself around him and not to have wild sex at school. But this is Jeon Jungkook we’re talking about. And what Jungkook wants, Jungkook gets. You wore that pencil skirt for a reason, after all.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; intense smut (fem reader, semi-public sex, dirty talk, nipple play, choking, m-receiving oral, gagging, pussy spanking, fingering, penetrative sex); fluff; non-idol!AU - university!AU; dom!Jungkook x sub!noona!reader, ft Jimin once again, lol

–

part i | part ii | part iii | part iv

Career Week was somewhat of a nightmare.

So much running around, prepping tables, setting up presentations, helping the guests with their computers before their seminars, and you had to be dressed professionally too. Not just ‘nice’ clothes, but white dress shirt, slim black tie, tailored black vest, and matching fitted black slacks. It had to be monotone, it had to be hyper professional, and you had to wear heels.

Why had you agreed to this again?

Oh, yes, Kim Namjoon on his knees begging for help because he was overworked and they needed volunteers. And you, being far too responsible, accepted.

Not only were you also overworked, but Jeon Jungkook was staring at you across the auditorium.

In all-black – leather jacket, high-necked shirt, slim-fit jeans. Sharp jawline, tanned high cheekbones, piercing dark brown eyes, his black hair pushed back with a few strands on his forehead, revealing his clean undercut.

And he was smirking at you.

You highly doubted he was here to investigate prospective career paths. Actually, you were a hundred-and-ten percent positive that that was not the reason he was here and the soreness between your inner thighs proved it. You were willing to bet Park Jimin’s right nutsack.

Yeah, sorry Jimin, but you needed all your body parts.

For one reason, really, and that reason was staring you right now.

Who was going to hire him when he was dressed like that anyway? You certainly wouldn’t. Mostly because it was distracting. No one could work with Jeon Jungkook looking like that. You couldn’t, anyway. Well, maybe if his work was wrecking your–

Get back to your damn task, you scolded yourself.

You were setting up chairs for the cardiologist that was arriving soon. All the doctors always had tons of students listening, so the administration instructed you to pack as many seats that could be crammed into the space without causing a fire hazard. You unfolded the metal chairs, arranging them neatly, already knowing they would be an incomprehensible mess when the students left and that you would be the one cleaning up after them.

Sigh.

Come to think of it, it was all Park Jimin’s fault that you were being violently undressed by Jungkook’s eyes right now. If he had kept his trap shut and let you live in blissful ignorance, maybe you wouldn’t be trying to hide your wincing every time you bent over. You snuck a glance at Jungkook.

He cocked an eyebrow, highly amused.

Never mind, you probably still would have been accosted at Calculus I office hours, except instead of the door being closed and locked and having Jimin’s warning texts, you two probably would have been caught and expelled.

You grumbled and slid a chair into place, taking back your former thoughts and thanking Jimin in your mind. He wasn’t even here to witness your inner struggle.

Jimin probably would have found it funny.

You went back to your chairs, not addressing Jeon Jungkook’s presence anymore because if you looked at him again, you probably would have abandoned your post. And he knew it.

The next day, you already knew Jungkook would show up again. Mostly because he texted you a winking face of a semicolon and parenthesis, to which you didn’t respond, because you would probably get roped into phone sex in under twenty seconds, and you had to help this extremely riveting lawyer set up his laptop for the projector.

As in, you were ready to tape his mouth shut as he blabbed on and on about his work and how important it was to society, which it was, because defense attorneys were very important, but this guy’s laptop was a fucking hot mess of icons all over his desktop. This was a personal pet peeve of yours, as you liked to be neat and organized, with everything clearly labeled with dates. You didn’t care about most people’s personal habits, but it was annoying when you were trying to assist and the owner of said laptop was not shutting up and demanding noises of affirmation that you were listening.

If it wasn’t Jungkook demanding you to swallow his cock, you honestly couldn’t give a single shit–

You finally got his PowerPoint working and had him scroll through the slides to make sure it was the correct one. He thanked you and you realized the older man was looking at you up and down, the same way Jungkook usually did, except in this case you were not even remotely interested.

Guess everyone had the right to get a good look before they die.

You were wearing a white chiffon blouse with a black silk neck scarf, with a tight knee-length black pencil skirt, sheer tights and sleek black heels. You knew how good your ass looked in this skirt and you had worn it for a specific purpose.

“We will be letting the students in five minutes early to get settled,” you stated briskly, cutting the older man from his daydreams. “You will have forty-five minutes for your presentation, and then we’ll have a fifteen-minute question session, led by my associate, Kim Namjoon here.”

As if on cue, Namjoon appeared, cheerful smile with cute dimples, handing the lawyer a mic.

“Let’s test the microphone and the backup to make sure you don’t have any hiccups,” Namjoon instructed merrily, instantly captivating the man’s attention and diverting it from you.

You mouthed a ‘thank you’ behind the man’s back and Namjoon gave you the tiniest of nods as you excused yourself. Hmph. You knew people would notice – you were wearing makeup for once and would be around students and professionals all day, after all – but to be so shameless and gawk like that was annoying. Plus, the guy probably had a wife and kids.

You made your way to the bathroom to check your appearance. Maybe your makeup was a bit off or something. You had Jimin check you over this morning. Surprisingly, he knew a lot about cosmetics and how to look good in all lighting. Must be a dance major thing.

Ah, the door to the women’s bathroom. You hiked your skirt up a bit do you could use your damn knees to walk, because they had been suffocating for the past two hours–

Long fingers suddenly gripped your upper arm and yanked you around the corner, slamming you into a muscular body and black biker jacket. You nearly stumbled in your heels, but a second hand came to practically lift you off the floor and shove you into the wall.

“Good afternoon, noona.”

A clear, silvery voice.

You couldn’t possibly guess who it was.

“Why, fancy seeing you here, Jung–”

You were abruptly cut off by his lips crashing into yours, one hand grabbing the back of your head and disturbing your perfect bun. You whimpered, feeling him shove you into the wall again, your shoulder blades hitting the painted brick. His tongue slid into your mouth, exhaling into your throat and forcing you swallow his breath. Your hands clutched your skirt, moaning as his hard body pressed yours against the wall.

Jungkook drew back, panting a little. Looking so handsome with his slightly slicked-back hair, black strands around his right eye, chiseled jawline, silver hoops glinting in the hall light. He arched a sculpted eyebrow at you, smirking. His pink lips had a little red on them from kissing you.

“Now, you know you can’t be looking so delicious and not expect me to want to eat you up,” he purred, licking your lips. Your breathing hitched at the touch, unlocking your death grip on your skirt.

“What are you talking about?” you answered evenly despite your panties literally turning into Niagara Falls with the way he was looking at you like a carnivore at an all-meat buffet. “I have to dress like this for Career Week. Everyone has to dress professionally.”

Jungkook nodded, not believing a single word coming out of your mouth. His right hand came up, ink black tattoos against tan skin, and reached around to your bun, slowly pulling the hairpins out. Your skin tingled at the sensation of your hair gradually unravelling.

“A professional that I would hire to sit on my dick,” he mused.

You raised an eyebrow at him, your hair tumbling around your shoulders. “Subtle.”

Jungkook showed you the removed hairpins, opened his jacket, and tucked them in his inner pocket.

“I wouldn’t work for you anyway,” you added haughtily.

With each passing moment, Jungkook was becoming increasingly amused and aroused. You could tell by the way he was shoving his crotch into your thigh and by how wide his smirk was getting. The slacks he was wearing did nothing to hide his erection and you had a sneaking suspicion that he didn’t care.

“Oh? Why not?”

“I don’t know if I could trust someone younger than me to do a good job.”

He was unbuttoning your chiffon blouse now, humming. “I’m good at many things.” His dark eyes flickered to yours. “I think you would know.”

Your hands grabbed his despite him already having all the visible buttons completely open. Cold air drifted onto your heaving chest and white lace bra.

“Jungkook, we’re in a public place, again,” you hissed, narrowing your eyes at him.

“I don’t recall that being a problem,” he drawled, removing his hands from yours and squeezing your ass. “I’m beginning to think you like it.”

You sucked in a breath as his strong hands kneaded you through your skirt. Your hormones would absolutely let Jungkook rip off your clothes right here and let him fuck you, but the sliver of your brain that had any sense at all reminded you that you had to find a closed space. Jungkook slapped your ass, loudly, the sound echoing across the empty hallway. You nearly moaned, but bit your tongue, glaring at him.

“I have to get back,” you snapped. “And look presentable.”

Jungkook licked his teeth. “Hm. You have an hour before you have to appear to the public eye.”

Who the heck told him that? He smirked slyly at you as he saw your reaction.

“I could drag you to the bathroom–”

“At least give me more class than the woman’s bathroom,” you interrupted.

Jungkook looked annoyed that you had cut him off and also looked like he was going to remind you later. His fingers dug into your hips sharply and you gasped, back pressed flat against the wall. He inhaled a deep breath and began again, voice dangerously low.

“As I was saying,” he continued. “I’m going to take you into this classroom that I stole the key for.”

You frowned as Jungkook hoisted you up swiftly, princess-style, shirt still wide open. Fuck, what was he so strong for? He carried you down the hallway to the classrooms. You tried to close your shirt, but he growled at you, so you rolled your eyes and pushed the sides open, letting your bra-covered tits hang out. He seemed satisfied about this.

“Why would you steal a key?” you muttered as he deftly kicked the door open.

Jungkook slid through the door sideways. “So I could fuck you, of course.”

He dropped you and you had to catch yourself on your heels before you broke an ankle and ate shit. Half the lights turned on. You could hear him locking the door as you smoothed your skirt.

You turned to face him, saying, “You shouldn’t be a thief just because you’re horny, Jungkook.”

Jungkook turned around slowly from the now locked door. You were about to say something else, but your words died in your throat as you witnessed the overwhelming lust in his dark piercing eyes.

“I would be a thief, a murderer, and evade taxes for your body,” he snarled, advancing on you.

You pulled your blouse out of your skirt so he wouldn’t rip it, backing up into the desks. “You’ll get caught with the last one,” you said quietly, already removing your blouse and letting it fall onto a spare seat. “First two are acceptable.”

Jungkook grinned devilishly, licking his pink lips.

“Come here.”

You chewed on your lower lip, staring at his beautiful eyes, finding yourself already walking to him, heels clicking loudly in the empty room, but it didn’t matter, because he was the master now and you were the willing servant. Or slave.

Take your pick.

He smirked at your obedience, placing his hands on your shoulders, stopping you. His dark orbs lingered down your body, focusing on all his favorite spots, pressing his fingertips into your skin.

“One day,” you said quietly. “We’re going to get in trouble.”

Jungkook’s powerful dark orbs shifted upwards, capturing yours. Time slowed down. You stared into his dark brown eyes, unable to look away, your heart beating in time with his words.

“You’re already in trouble.”

Voice haunting you, teasing smirk on his lips, and perfectly in command.

“From the second you let me have my hands on you.”

You gasped as his nails dug into your skin, scratching down your collarbones, leaving red marks. He snapped the straps of your bra, hard, and you whined, eyes pleading for him to take it off. His palms pressed into the lace cups, squeezing them roughly. Tongue dancing in between his lips as he felt your nipples harden, barely covered by the lace.

“You’re so dirty, noona,” he purred, lowering his palms and pinching your nipples through the thin fabric, smirking at your wanton moan. “Wearing such slutty underwear under these professional clothes.”

You whimpered as he tugged on them. “No one’s going to see them but you, Jungkook.”

He clamped your nipples between his thumbs and knuckles, dragging you to him. You sank your teeth into your lower lip, pussy throbbing as you collided with his firm chest. His breath was scorching hot against your skin, making you shiver.

“What if someone finds out? Some idiot like a perverted old man staring at your ass in this skirt?”

You snorted. “I’ll rip his head off.”

Jungkook snickered, flicking your nipples with your answer. “You wouldn’t let me do it for you?”

Your hips rolled into his, hands on his waist to keep yourself up as he played with you. “I’ll reattach it for you so you can do the same.”

He laughed, almost a little too jovially for the part he was playing, but then he was back, tipping his head close to yours, blowing soft air onto your lips. You frowned, glaring at him for the lack of kiss.

“If possible, you’re even hotter dressed like this,” Jungkook murmured, his forehead against yours. “So prim and proper, even with a cute gag tied around your neck,” he added, playing with the ends of your neck scarf. “You could be a CEO, and I could be the janitor fucking you on your penthouse-floor desk.” He was undoing your scarf now, teasing it apart, making you breathless. “Maybe fuck you against the window so everyone can see how good I make you feel, noona.”

“Give yourself a little more credit than a janitor,” you muttered, stiffening as Jungkook ran his fingertips over your throat, nails grazing your skin.

“True, I would rather be your secretary so I can follow you around and stare at your ass in this skirt,” he chuckled, lacing his fingers around your neck. Thumb under your ear, the other four fingers under your other ear. You made eye contact with him. He looked almost bored, one of his eyebrows raised, but he was watching you, predatory and attentive.

“I know what I’m doing.”

His whisper was so soft that you barely heard it, but the words were there.

His grip tightened around your throat.

You gasped, feeling the blood flow thinning, hazing your mind. Jungkook watched your expression, reaching around with the hand that was holding your scarf, unclasping your lace bra. You could feel it fall down your arms, but your thoughts were rapidly being clouded by lightheadedness and lust, Jungkook smirking at you as he lifted the silk scarf into your vision.

“J… Jungkook…” you choked out.

The mole underneath his lower lip winked at you as he grinned, brushing the silk against your hard, abused nipples, touch so light, and yet it made your whine, wanting more stimulation but unable to ask because you knew he was toying with you.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook taunted. “Not intense enough for my naughty noona?”

He choked you harder and you couldn’t respond, eyes rolling back into your head as black spots danced in your vision, the sensation intensifying but still not enough, not enough, and you shoved your hips into his repeatedly, whimpering, hands clutching his black shirt, nails digging into his abs.

“So needy for me,” he breathed, feathery touches of silk against your nipples. “Are you only mine?”

He leaned forward, loosening his grip a little. The blood violently rushed back into your head and all you could hear Jungkook’s cruel whisper of your name, tearing a moan from your lips, a raspy yes, yes, fuck, Jungkook, I’m only yours.

He chuckled darkly.

Then he forced you to your knees, tits bouncing uncomfortably as you slid on your heels, knees hitting the tile floor. You clutched his clothed legs, panting, brain only half-functioning due to the lack of blood and the relentless teasing. You lifted your head back up to look at him, panting hard.

Jungkook cracked his neck sharply, a harsh pop. “I want to believe you, noona, but you’re dressed so fucking sexy that I can’t.” His dark eyes bore into you, tearing you up, and you were dripping onto your inner thighs. He emphasized his words with a raise of his eyebrow.

“Letting other people fantasize about this body that belongs to me isn’t acceptable.”

His hands reached down, fingers of his right hand playing with the button of his pants, tattoos dancing with his movement. He smirked as you watched him, eyes darting from his face to his hands. Shit, you were nearly drooling with anticipation. You swallowed as he teased the button free.

“You gonna show me that you remember who you belong to?”

You nodded quickly, maybe too quickly, but it was doomed now anyway because Jungkook was lowering the zipper, pushing down his pants and underwear, past his muscular thighs. It was obvious this was getting him off as much as it was getting you off, because he was rock-hard, leaking, tip already a dark red. Jungkook grabbed the back of your head and shoved his hips into your cheek, smearing his pre-cum onto your skin, all the way up to your cheekbone. He hissed, using his hand to press the head against your temple, nearly into your hair.

Fuck, he was so fucking close to your mouth, but he wasn’t letting you have it.

Damnnit.

Your tongue snaked out and softly licked his balls, eyes on his face, watching him tip his head back and moan. You licked more, creeping your head closer, pressing your lips against his hot skin. He was letting you do it, holding his cock out of the way as you wrapped your lips around his balls and sucked, pushing them around with your tongue, pleading noises in your throat, begging him for his cock as you bobbed your head up and down under his hips.

Jungkook’s dark eyes shifted down to you, triumphant grin on his lips.

“You want to swallow my cock, noona?” he teased, smacking it against your face, leaving a string of pre-cum connecting your cheek to his cock. You narrowed your eyes at him, as if to say, no fucking shit, you punk ass bitch, and he chuckled deep in his chest. He looked past your head, down your back.

“Such a nice ass.”

You smacked his leg, aware that he was doing it on purpose to piss you off. He smirked knowingly, placing his palm on your forehead and pushing you off his balls.

“Swallow it all and don’t choke,” Jungkook snarled, shoving his cock into your open mouth.

Your eyes widened at the sudden intrusion, relaxing your throat muscles as Jungkook forcefully pushed into your lips, sighing with satisfaction as he buried himself to the hilt, his strong fingers tangled in your hair.

“Fuck, so good,” he moaned, making his cock throb into the roof of your mouth. You whined, hands on his hips, waiting for him to let you move. “Your throat feels so fucking good, noona. If only they knew how good you are, how perfectly slutty you are for me.” He snickered, releasing his hand, glaring down into your eyes.

“But they’re never going to know, because you’ll never service another cock ever again.”

You whimpered, nails digging into his thighs.

He ticked his chin at you. “Go on, noona. Show me how much you love my cock.”

You began to move, pressing your tongue against the bottom as you slid up and down his length, moaning at his taste. So good. You generated more saliva and ran it all over the head, sucking hard. He inhaled sharply as you teased the sensitive underside, tongue against the opening.

“That’s it,” Jungkook breathed. “Give it to me like you mean it.”

You gripped his thighs and began to bob your head back and forth, ramming the head into the back of your throat and squeezing it before arching your neck so it ran across the roof of your mouth and then back down so it hit your throat again. Was this going to make you hoarse? Probably, but you didn’t a single shit, because Jungkook moaning for you and telling you how good you were was much more important. The pace was slow at first, but you went faster and faster, tighter, your breasts bouncing with every movement, eyes closed to savor his taste and steel your concentration of not gagging because Jungkook was so big, so thick, so perfectly rough, and your tongue could feel him throbbing inside your mouth.

“Fuck,” he growled above you, nearly feral with desire. “Fuck, I’m going to cum down that perfect throat of yours, noona.”

His thighs tensed under your hands and you knew he was close. You increased the intensity, neck straining, already aching with how fast you were going.

“Drink it all and don’t fucking waste it.”

Jungkook grabbed you by your hair and thrusted his hips into your face, moaning lustfully as he shot into your mouth, hot creamy strings into your throat. You swallowed fast to avoid choking, gulping loudly as he gave you more, more, fuck it was so delicious that you gasped, swirling your tongue around his jerking cock and lapping it all up. Whimpering, you wrapped your lips around the head and milked it dry, rubbing your lips against the skin where the head and length connected.

“You’re so fucking good,” Jungkook sighed, running his fingers through your hair, pulling it away from your face. “So messy and dirty. I love it, noona.” He pressed your mouth down his entire length and held you there.

Your name drifted out of his lips, a sweet exhale.

He kept you there. You felt some of your spit drip down your chin and hit your breasts. You flinched at the coldness, still holding onto his hips. Jungkook finally looked down at you, chest heaving, panting. He looked like he wanted to say something. You shot him a questioning look, unable to respond, mouth still full of his cock.

He released your head, untangling his fingers from your hair. You drew your mouth back, rubbing your jaw and throat a little. Jungkook had a strange expression, lips parted, brows furrowed, the muscles in his neck tensed. He seemed a bit spaced out. You tilted your head.

Something felt off.

You stood up with as much grace as you could, knees aching, heels snapping to the tile floor. He still wasn’t looking at you. You backed up, to the desks, finding a study one.

“Jungkook.”

You smacked the wood loudly with your flat palm.

He whipped his head towards you, dark eyes flashing. Perfect. You smirked, placing your hands on your pencil skirt. Sank your fingers in, gripping the fabric. Jungkook’s voracious eyes watched your movement, each hike revealing more and more of your legs. A slow smirk formed on his lips. You yanked your skirt all the way up to your waist, revealing your white lace panties and sheer pantyhose, black fabric bunched around your waist.

Jungkook reached down and pulled his pants up, raising his eyebrows as he walked over, lower lip in between his teeth as he grinned at you.

“That’s a dangerous position to be in, noona,” he purred. “You know I love fucking you on a desk.”

You bounced your ass up onto the table, closing your legs, knees together. Placed your hands on your lap, pushing your tits together. Jungkook licked his lips, the predatory glint back in his eye. You kept your tone stern, with a hint if disapproval.

“Really? Because for a second there, I was beginning to think you lost your nerve.”

The menace in his eyes made your shiver with anticipation. You could tell Jungkook liked it too, your word selection, your tone, your defiance. He shrugged out of his leather jacket, and it fell to the floor with an oppressive thump. You sucked in a tight breath. The shirt was short sleeved, exposing his tattooed right forearm and his equally beautiful tanned left one. Some of his long black hair was falling down, brushing against his right cheekbone.

His eyes were so dark that you felt like they were devouring you.

Jungkook placed his large hands on your knees and vehemently shoved them apart, spreading your legs wide. He gave you a cold, expressionless stare as he placed a hand on your stomach, putting you onto your elbows, hips tipped up towards him. You were embarrassingly wet, juices soaked into your inner thighs, lace panties already molded to your soaked folds, the sheer pantyhose doing nothing to protect you from him and his hungry eyes. His voice was icy, making your pussy throb with need.

“Noona, if you close your legs, I’m going to punish you,” Jungkook warned.

Part of you wanted to know what the punishment was, but the other part of you really wanted to orgasm, so kept your snide remark to yourself and simply nodded.

Jungkook removed his hands from your knees and placed them on your shuddering breasts. Fuck. You hadn’t realized you were so horny until Jungkook touched you. A pained whimper strained in your throat.

The side of his lips curved upwards.

“Does my dirty, slutty noona want to be fucked?” His nails sank down, digging into your skin. “Do you want to be used by me, your tight little pussy stretched out and pleading for more?” Jungkook leaned forward, breathing into your face, growling whisper against your lips. He pinched your nipples and you moaned, wanting to kiss him, but knowing he wasn’t going to let you. He chuckled darkly, seeing your desperation.

“Do you want to be a slave for Jungkookie’s cock, noona?”

Fuuuuuuuck.

Your heart was beating so fast that your breathing was coming out in little gasps as he twisted your nipples harshly, rubbing the tips with his thumb. Your legs shook, threatening to close because the lack of friction was killing you.

“Y-yes, Jungkook, fuck yes.”

He yanked on your nipples and slapped them, making you hiss with pain, flinching as the sting shot up your chest. Jungkook reached into his back pocket and produced the silk neck scarf.

“Keep quiet for me noona or everyone will know how much of a slut you are for me.”

And then he shoved your own scarf into your parted lips, gagging you. Not a second too soon, because, without warning, Jungkook immediately spanked your barely clothed clit. You yelped around the silk, thighs quivering. He gripped one of your thighs, digging his nails into it, tearing the sheer pantyhose a little.

“Don’t move and take it,” he snarled.

Your back arched as Jungkook began to slap your pussy, hard, unforgiving, loud, and making you wetter and wetter, so much so his hand was slipping a little with each smack. You screamed around the scarf, hips trembling as they rose to meet each hit, flaring pain in between your thighs but so, so good. He clenched his jaw, dark eyes on your quickly reddening pussy lips that were sucking your panties deeper and deeper into your slit.

“Fuck,” he growled. “Fuck, you’re so hot and so fucking perfect for me.”

He removed his hand from your thigh and ripped the center seam of your pantyhose apart.

You started, eyes widening as you watched him tear through it, yelling at him through the scarf. You still needed to wear those! The small tears were one thing, but a full-on giant rip at the crotch was not going to be comfortable to wear for the rest of the day.

Jungkook smirked, raising a hand to his ear. “What’s that? Can’t hear you.”

You glared at him and was about to remove the scarf from your mouth to scold him, but his smirk turned into a roguish grin.

“Hm? Slap you harder and abuse your clit?”

You paled.

“My pleasure.”

You threw you head back as Jungkook mercilessly spanked your now only lace-covered clit, impossibly fast, towering over you and hooking his arm under your back, dragging you to him, arching your spine more, more, so your tits were straight up, bouncing right in his face as he changed from smacking your clit to rubbing it just as fast, rougher, so intense you were hoarsely wailing into the gag.

All of a sudden, your orgasm violently rammed into you, pleasure racking your entire body, amplified by stinging pain. Your pussy clenched around nothing, wetly squelching as Jungkook breathed hotly down on your nipples, still rubbing you through your orgasm, not letting up. You shook your head furiously, trying to tell him it was too much, that you were too sensitive, but you didn’t lift your hands to stop him, only spreading your fingers against the table, palms flat as your hips raised to his fingers.

You felt his hair brush against your nipples as he licked your cleavage, smirking up at your face.

“One more and then I’ll fuck you the way I want to, noona.”

Your legs were losing feeling from how hard you were locking them in place as you felt Jungkook pry your lace panties out of your pussy, shoving them to one side. Oh shit. You moaned as you felt him shove two fingers into you, eyes squeezing shut as he added a third, scissoring them as he smiled cruelly at you, eagerly watching your reaction.

“Such a greedy pussy, sucking in my fingers like this,” Jungkook drawled, your walls clenching around them, feeling every callus and every joint, all the way to his knuckles. “All mine, my beautiful, slutty noona.”

You would have asked Jungkook what the time was if your brain could still function, but your brain timed itself out, because Jungkook was thrusting his fingers into you now, filling you up, and feeding your need and desperation, assaulting your pussy with pleasure. The pain of your stinging, puffy lips rubbing against his hand added to the ecstasy, heightening it, your moaning now unintelligible behind the silk scarf that was saturated with your saliva. The sound was obscene, sloppy smacking sounds of your drenched hole getting pounded into the desk.

You threw your head back and choked out his name around the makeshift gag, throbbing pussy clamping down on his fingers. Thick, viscous liquid gushed out onto his palm, the back of his hand, dripping down to his wrist. It was so intense that your entire body jerked up into Jungkook’s face, hitting him with your tits.

If Jungkook was mad about it, he didn’t show it. He wrenched his slick fingers out and you whined, watching him with glazed eyes as licked them off, ferally growling at your taste. He released your back from his arm and you slid down, laying against the desk, panting.

“You taste extra delicious today, noona,” he chuckled. “Candy always tastes better in cute packaging.”

You barely had time to register that Jungkook had just compared you to a fucking convenience store snack before he yanked down his pants again, whipping out a foil packet and ripping it open. Less than a second and the condom was on, and then Jungkook shoved his cock into you, a startled gasp dying in your very over-used throat.

Jungkook moaned your name above you, softly and lustfully, pulling your hips closer to him so he was all the way inside you. You clenched around his length and he sighed, small smirk on his pink lips, eyelids fluttering.

“You’re going to kill me one day with how perfectly tight you are for me,” he mumbled.

Your eyes found his and he grinned, looking down at you through his lashes, his hair obscuring half his face.

Fuck, you could stare at him all day.

Jungkook placed your legs around his waist, finally letting them rest from the forced spreading. He roughly jerked his hips into yours and you whimpered, nails clawing into the desk. His fingers dug into your hips and he set his jaw, beginning a hard, fast pace, slapping your hips together, fucking you into the desk. It scraped noisily into the floor, but neither of you cared, you abused pussy lips rubbing against his crotch every time his hips met yours, carried to new heights of pain and pleasure, loving every second, every moment of Jungkook using you to chase his own orgasm, his cock swelling and dragging against your tight walls. So much. So full.

You could never be satisfied with another cock.

“Fuck.”

Jungkook hissed, grip on your hips tightening, bruising you with his fingertips.

“Fuck, noona, I love you.”

Your heart stopped.

And then your orgasm crashed down, overtaking you completely, your head smacking the desk and seeing stars, clenching around Jungkook’s cock and pulsating violently around his length, soaking his thighs with your juices, scent so strong you were sure whatever class that was going to use this lecture hall next was going to smell your cum splattering to the floor.

Jungkook gritted his teeth and rammed his hips into you, dragging you down to meet every thrust, intensifying your orgasm, ripping your pantyhose even more. Once, twice, three times, and he groaned, shuddering as he spilled into the condom, cock shivering inside you as he came. You could feel how much it was, pressing against your walls.

His long hair was all over his face, black strands clinging to his tan skin, sweat dripping off his chin, pink lips quivering, dark eyes roaming over your fucked-out form. Panting hard, matching your heavy, grating breaths behind your now saliva-drenched neck scarf. After a long moment, Jungkook reached down and held onto the condom, slowly pulling out of you.

Holy fuck.

You reached up with a shaking hand, pulling the silk out of your mouth. It came out in a long strip of fabric, smacking against your cheek as your removed it from your lips.

Holy.

Fuck.

You sat up, your body screaming at you, seeing Jungkook breathing hard, tying up the condom.

“Did you just tell me you love me?”

Jungkook’s ears turned bright red. He chewed on his lip, biting it hard before facing you. Dark brown eyes suddenly vulnerable, scared. It was the most uncharacteristic expression you had ever witnessed on Jeon Jungkook’s chiseled, handsome face.

“Uh… yeah.”

There was a moment where you realized both you two were mostly naked in a random classroom, clothes thrown everywhere, having made a mess once again.

“Sorry,” Jungkook added quickly. “It slipped out.”

You blinked at him. “Why are you apologizing?”

He rubbed his nose, looking away.

“Well… aren’t you just fucking me because you like to be dominated?”

You frowned. “No, I’m fucking you because I’m in love with you.”

You saw Jungkook freeze. He turned his head robotically, eyes wide and doe-like. “R-really?”

You looked down to notice that your heels were on the tile floor. When had you lost those? You grumbled, trying to straighten out your panties and the remains of your pantyhose. It was doomed. You shrugged, dangling your legs over the edge of the desk as you looked back at Jungkook and his surprised expression. You raised an eyebrow.

“Are you really that much of an idiot?” you muttered, your own cheeks burning, letting out a puff of annoyed air. “Yes, I love you. Why else would I tolerate you staring at me like I’m some kind of zoo animal? Why else would I risk getting in trouble by running around like this? Why else would I let you fuck me at school, in the middle of the damn day, again?”

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck. “Erm… because I’m hot?”

You rubbed your forehead and sighed exasperatedly, standing up, instantly wincing. Jungkook took a step forward to catch you, but he almost tripped on his pants down his ankles. You caught yourself against the desk and raised a hand, shaking your head.

“Pack your damn dick,” you muttered. You yanked your tights down your legs, removing them and balling them up. They were useless now anyway. You found your bra and put it back on as you eyed your chiffon blouse. Good thing it wasn’t ripped. It only took you a moment to slip it back on, rebuttoning it and tucking it into your skirt. You pulled your pencil skirt back down, straightening it, thighs immediately sticking together from your own fluids.

Yup, still no more comfortable than yanking your pants back on after a session with Jungkook.

You noticed him putting his leather jacket back on and picking up the condom wrapper. He took the silk scarf from the table and shoved it in his back pocket. You went back to him to gather your shoes, but he knelt down, holding out your black heels as if you were Cinderella.

“I can just–”

“Step.”

His tone was sharp and you immediately obeyed, raising your foot and stepping into your shoe. First one, then the other. Jungkook stood back up, exhaling a little. You looked up at him. His chocolate eyes flitted about tensely. He opened his mouth to speak.

“Do you… uh…”

You cut him off. “Jungkook, if you cheat on me, I will personally castrate you with a spoon.”

He cringed. “Ouch.”

You took the used condom and the wrapper bits from him, shoving them into your balled-up pantyhose. You marched towards the door confidently, pain shooting throughout your body with every step. Jungkook called after you.

“Your hairpins.”

You turned your head back a little.

“You can drop them off at my apartment later.”

And then you unlocked the door and stepped out of the classroom.

Park Jimin waved at you, grinning. Plump lips curved into a mischievous smile, wearing a denim jacket and jeans. You almost jumped seeing him standing there. What the fuck is with this guy’s timing? He eyed your hand holding your ruined pantyhose and you put it behind your back, glaring at him.

“I told Namjoon you had a lady emergency.” Jimin wiggled his eyebrows at you before holding up your phone and black purse, the belongings you had left in the back room. “You took longer than you should have.”

You felt your ears burn. “Shit. I need to get back.”

“To Jungkook, yeah,” Jimin chimed teasingly, making you glower at him.

Of course. Jungkook had turned Jimin into his scout for your escapades. Fantastic. You suddenly felt a strong presence behind you. The door had opened and Jungkook’s arm snaked around your waist, yanking you possessively to his side. He placed his chin on top of your head, inhaling the scent of your hair.

“You wanna go on a date, noona?” Jungkook purred, his free hand playing with the ends of your disheveled hair.

You pursed your lips. “I have to get back and help Namjoon.”

Jimin waved a hand. “He’ll be fine for one day. Plus, you’re being kidnapped.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but Jungkook slapped his hand over your lips, marching you in the opposite direction of Career Week, Jimin skipping behind you two, cheerfully humming.

part iv

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #bts smut #jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook fanfic

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nohoney · 3 years

Text

Tell Me (When You’re Ready) 4.4

note: whoo finally back from a much needed break from the us series. went through a little bit of a lull where i had to step back and take some time apart from the series but i’m back again. this is something of an epilogue but also not? it essentially concludes part 4.

Us Series

warnings: 18+, drugs, toxic relationships, a bit of smut but nothing too descriptive

4.1 ✧ 4.2 ✧ 4.3 ✧ 4.4

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ✧

It’s a cold autumn night when you finally say it, when you finally tell them but it’s also done as a backhand to someone.

You convinced yourself that you did it because it was time to say it, you have heard both confessions so you needed to say it back.

In truth… you said it to hurt someone but you felt it justified.

You’re not a needlessly cruel person, you can get a little snippy and sarcastic but you’re not particularly mean to anyone. You’re too nice sometimes, stretching your patience out for certain people that took advantage of your kindness and that actually includes Touya but you have a strong relationship going so of course you let it slide with him. The point is, in general you’re just a decent person that doesn’t feel it’s necessary to put negative energy out in the world.

But you make an exception just this one time.

You just had to show her because clearly she wasn’t getting the hint.

Oh hell, who were you kidding?

They weren’t hints, Touya was literally telling the bitch to fuck off.

“The fucking cunt tried to force my zipper down so she could suck me off, almost had to knock her ass out when she wouldn’t get off me the last time.” Touya is pressing an ice pack to his cheek and glaring out into the view of his balcony, a cigarette in his free hand. You stand inside the apartment, the screen door shut but the sliding glass door leaves just a crack so that you can still talk to him, not wanting to breathe the smell of cigarettes directly. Keigo stands behind you with his arms looped around your waist, also apart of the conversation.

“And what, she smacked you afterwards when you pushed her off?” you ask as you lean your weight against Keigo.

“Of fucking course, you think I’m holding this thing to my face for fun?” Touya snaps at you before taking another drag.

Keigo squeezes his arms around you when you tense up, a silent signal for you to let Touya’s attitude slide. Understandably he’s pissed but you take it personal when he gets annoyed like this, like you feel like it’s your fault even though you had done nothing wrong. But Keigo reassures you by leaning down to whisper in your ear, makes it look like he’s just giving you a kiss to your temple, tells you to just let him be upset for the time being.

An eightball sits on the table, a little crumpled in its little baggy but otherwise not a drop was spilled when Touya snagged it back from Mai.

Touya’s whole body tense, his jaw is clenched, foot tapping repeatedly, and eyebrows pinched in annoyance. He’s muttering to himself, “Shoulda’ just cut the bitch off…”

You don’t really like to be around Touya when he’s tense like this, you’ve tried to calm him down a few times but sometimes he’s just too much for you to handle. So you let Keigo take the reigns and step away to go to the bedroom to give them some space. Touya’s still too pissed but he does utter out a quiet ‘alright doll’ in acknowledgement while Keigo kisses your cheek before joining Touya outside on the balcony. It’s best that Keigo help Touya cool down, more likely they’d both come to you when the mood was better.

And as you go into the bedroom and shimmy out of the pants you wore today, Touya’s phone vibrates on the nightstand. One notification… two notifications… three— wait it’s, four.

“Geez, who’s blowing up his phone?” you ask yourself quietly before picking up his cell. You unlock the preview screen of the phone, knowing Touya’s password since he gave it to you, and you sigh when two more notifications pop up. And it’s all from the same person, the whore that Touya decided to drop not too long ago. Mai’s sending message after message, apology texts for forcing herself on him. Pleas to not cut her off from the coke she’s come to rely on to get her through some rough days, his is the best and she won’t settle for anything that’s not his anymore. Desperate texts about cocaine then shift to her trying to reel him back to the arrangement they had before. You can’t help but frown that Mai is uselessly trying to seduce your boyfriend back into fucking her.

“C’mon, he already made it clear he doesn’t want you anymore.” you mutter to yourself as you look over the messages. “Fucking bitch…”

Very unlike you to use those kinds of words, Touya is rubbing off on you.

Keigo’s admitted to you in secret that Touya is coming pretty close to blowing his lid with this chick. And with what happened today, you wouldn’t be surprised if something was done about it. Touya obviously wasn’t going to go back, this is the first time in the relationship that he’s officially winding down the list of girls he still keeps to fuck, finally choosing one and tossing her out the window so that he can eventually just focus on you.

It’s annoying and a little hurtful still that after a year Touya is just now finally starting to get rid of the whores, but it strangely makes you happy at the same time knowing that he’s finally done it. You wish you knew the reason why Touya still bothered with them but he’s made it up to you, promised you that you’re his number one and that no one else means as much to him as you do. And what can you do but believe him, doing what he says and what he wants because you honestly don’t want to be without him either. Your body still tingles at the quiet murmur of Touya finally telling you he loves you when he thought you were fast asleep. Keigo’s own bold confession also brings a smile to your face and you think how much you love them.

Ding!

You frown at the notification.

It’s a nude.

You set down Touya’s phone and try to calm your nerves.

His phone notifications are suffocating and you don’t want to be in the apartment anymore, you feel like there’s something important you have to do. So you march out of the bedroom and head towards the sliding door, peeking your head out just a tad. “Hey, I’m gonna head back to my place okay?” you tell them, your heart beating a little fast in your chest and trying not to appear antsy. You can’t help thinking that what you need to do has to be done right away, that you might as well strike while the iron is hot. You have an excuse ready to use when Touya asks why but it lies useless on your tongue instead.

“No, stay here.” Touya commands without looking at you.

“But Touya, I really need-” you try to plead with him but you’re cut off once again as he says no once more. And normally you’d listen after the second time, especially considering the mood he’s in, but you’ve got adrenaline pumping in your veins and a mission on your mind that you just have to get done. “Touya, just let me-”

He doesn’t want to hear anymore, when Touya says that you stay, you stay. He pushes the sliding door open too hard, the glass rattling and startling you. He flicked the cigarette he was smoking over the railing, that same hand holding your jaw and squishing your cheeks a little roughly. Cigarette smoke lingers on his fingers as he holds you still, so close to your nostrils and you whine from it. You instantly cower and the adrenaline of determination is replaced with apprehension. You don’t like Touya’s temper, whether he’s directing it at someone else or you.

“Touya, be gentle.” Keigo says from his spot on the balcony, standing a little straighter and ready to get in between if needed.

“When I say stay, you stay. Understand?”

There’s no arguing with Touya, not when he’s got such an angry look in his eyes.

All you can do is nod your head and look down in submission. Never mind the reason why you were so eager to leave, that essentially you were being told to stay here without your permission, but in your mind you excused it. Whatever you wanted to do, it could wait, that it was better that you think about it first instead of just recklessly jumping into it. Touya was doing you a favor telling you to stay at his place without him ever knowing it.

Oh how everything Touya did change your thinking now, considering him more than your own feelings. But you think it’s okay, it’s okay because you love him and you understand him, loving someone means understanding the rough patches of who they are and knowing underneath that the things they do sometimes they don’t always mean it. You have to understand it and love it, even if it means letting your cheeks hurt from the way his fingers gripped into the tender flesh.

“I’m sorry Touya…” you whimper pitifully and look up at him.

Touya regards you quietly for a moment before telling you, “Go take a nap.”

He releases your face from his hold but it’s not gentle how he pushes you away, it almost makes your eyes water and that’s when Keigo steps in to smooth over everything.

“C’mon songbird, I’ll tuck you in alright?” Keigo’s leading you to the bedroom and gently shutting the door behind him. Touya should be the one reprimanded for treating you a little roughly but instead Keigo tuts gently at you as he brings you into a hug, “Baby, you know better than to test Touya like that. What’s gotten into you?”

Your shoulders sag in his embrace but you return it nonetheless. “I… don’t know. I’m sorry…”

His hand rubs your back soothingly and he kisses the top of your head, Keigo’s comfort easing you just a little bit. But even as he reassures you with sweet words and to just let what happened with Touya slide for now, you still think of what you were planning to do earlier if you hadn’t been commanded to stay here at the apartment. It would have to wait until you were out next time with neither of the boys with you.

And you think to yourself how much you love them, the echoes of their confessions making your heart bloom in your chest and the messages from Mai solidifying what you had to do for yourself.

It’s something you’d never done before, would never consider under the circumstances you’re putting yourself under but you needed to make a point.

Yumi is hosting another party at her house and you ask her what time the party starts, just like last time that she invited you but lets you know that your boys are welcome to come as well even though she’d like it to be just you. There’s a little bit of disappoint in her voice when you tell her Keigo and Touya will arrive with you, obviously wanting you to come alone so that she could have time with you, but you swear that you’ll treat her to brunch next time and it will be just the two of you. She seems accepting of it and cheers up at your proposal and then hints that she would like to re-up if Touya is going to attend anyway.

Touya comes into the bedroom after an hour and presses a kiss to your temple when you sit up against the headboard and asking how you feel. He doesn’t offer an apology from before, not that you were expecting it from him anyway, but he throws in ‘babydoll’ when he speaks to you, that subtle way of letting you know that he is trying to make up with you from before.

“Hey, let’s go to a party this weekend.”

“Don’t know if I’ll feel like it…”

He says he’s not in the mood but it swings in your favor when you pout at him and give him sad eyes, giving in simply because of what happened before. He’s not a social person, that much is apparent, but he’ll let himself be towed around by you if you’ll make it worth his time later on. And Keigo will be there alongside too to offset him, he’s very much included in what you plot in your mind.

And if you know the boys as well as you think you do, they’ll fall exactly into place where and when you need them.

You didn’t want to seem hasty by the time you arrived to the house, quickly greeting Yumi and a few other friends you haven’t seen in a while when you walk through the door. Keigo fits in naturally with the crowd while Touya remains standoffish with a disinterested gaze. He holds a beer in his hand and has an arm slung over your shoulders, not really used to being at a gathering and not conducting business.

He hates it but he at least came for you.

Yumi confirms for you that Mai is around and offers to act as a buffer if she were to come within vicinity of you, which you politely decline and say that you can handle it.

It does require a bit of liquid courage, a few shots of liquor to dull your nerves and seek her out.

Not that you had to look very far anyway.

Mai kept a respectable distance watching you and Touya from afar.

So she’s surprised when you approach her, your glazed eyes that tell her that you’re just a little drunk, that it hides the truth that you know why she’s bitter and directing it towards you. That it already hurt to know you were chosen by the man she still wanted but to see it right there in front of her was salt in her wound. But you told her that you could soothe her, that it doesn’t have to be like this, if she really wants back in then just play nice with you and maybe he would reconsider her again.

You instill a hope that maybe she can be able to reach out to Touya again, that in the way Keigo and Touya share you, that you’re willing to share him with her.

So you kiss her, your first kiss with a girl, a girl that hates you but cups your cheek as she leans into the kiss.

A girl who’s feelings you’re about to crush.

Touya and Keigo always have eyes on you, you know that ever since that party where you mixed for the first time and ran off, they don’t let you stray very far. Surprised doesn’t even begin to describe their shock when they find you lip locked with Mai, with the first whore that Touya decided to drop and was trying to get away from. So he approaches and turns your head towards him, his voice low as he asks you, “The fuck are you doing?”

“Makin’ out, s’okay yeah?” your words are a little slurred but you reach one hand to his shirt to pull him closer. “Make out with us baby?”

A beat of consideration.

Even Mai waits apprehensively but you have no worries because you know that Touya will say…

“Room, now.”

Keigo naturally falls in too, the four of you led up to Mai’s room in the house, heavy breaths and little moans from her that grate on your ears. You push it out of your mind that she’s made those sounds for Touya before you came along, been on his dick after buying buying a gram or two off him, but that she won’t be around again. It occurs to you that possibly what you’re about to do might piss off Yumi because this will definitely go around and you might potentially lose her as a friend but…

This is more important.

It annoys you a little too much how Keigo kisses Mai, seems a little too comfortable with his hands going up her shirt while Touya’s sucking a bruise onto your neck. Unlike Touya, he’s been faithful this entire time so it irks you to see your other boyfriend kiss her with just a bit too much energy. It bothers you but you know that you’ll get his attention with just a call of his name, “Keigo… Kei… kiss me.”

So he does, still groping at Mai while he leans towards you and tenderly presses his lips to yours. Under the impression that you were switching off to Keigo, Mai attempts to make her way towards Touya but you pull him towards you before he can even turn his head towards her when she whines out, “Dabi…”

Dabi… it’s almost foreign to you that a few months ago that’s what you called him.

No one else would ever get that privilege.

It’s just you that gets it.

Just you and them.

Us.

And it slips out earlier than you had expected but it falls naturally, “I love you…”

It stuns them for a moment but the boys know that they don’t have to fight over who you said it to because it was meant for the both of them.

It stuns Mai too, caught off guard to be apart of an intimate moment. To witness how Touya utters his own devotion to you, kissing you deeply and pushing her away and she knows that you set her up to look like a fool when you peak your eye at her with intention. And it’s not just one person you say it too, Keigo voicing it aloud as well and leans in to have his turn while she still stands stunned. It’s the most cruel thing you’ve ever done to someone else, right there in their own space too where she sleeps, reads, and does god knows what.

She gets the picture now.

Back off.

If you really wanted to be even more cruel and drive a stake through her heart, you’d kick her out her own room and let the boys have their way with you in that moment, you know she wouldn’t be able to overwhelm all three of you. You mildly entertained the thought of tainting the space that belongs to her and tarnish it even further with your bodies on her bed.

But you’re not looking to do that, you just needed to let Mai know that she would never get Touya back.

Well not that she ever had him in the first place but the message was sent regardless.

“Wanna be in our bed.” you whine to them.

No further instructions needed, you leave the party with a quick goodbye to Yumi who gives you a questioning look when she sees you coming from the bedroom hallway but says that she’ll see you later.

Keigo’s place is the closest to reach and it’s all a blur as you’re undressed by both boys and push you on the bed. You’re not quite certain where your body starts and theirs end when they join you, but they fuck you with a sentiment that was completely different than all the other times before. Better than the first threesome, better than when you all rolled together to fuck, it felt different and it felt right.

“Love you, fuck I love you.” Keigo hisses behind you, one hand coming up to hold your throat while the other pets your clit.

“Fuckin’ love you…” Touya whispers, his nails digging light crescent marks into your skin as you squeeze around him.

It was always in the atmosphere but unsaid, not until everyone was ready to voice it out loud.

And you were finally ready to say it back.

“I love you.”

#dabi x reader #todoroki touya x reader #takami keigo x reader #hawks x reader #tw toxic relationship #us series

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mandoalorian · 4 years

Text

Borrowed Time [Din Djarin x F!Reader]

ੈ♡˳‧₊*: • Chapter 6: The Proposal ✩࿐ ˚.✧

Summary: You are the princess of Mandalore, held hostage on your own planet by Moff Gideon and his army of Imperial troopers. Left with no choice, you send out a distress signal; a plea for protection— and who comes? None other than Din Djarin, a foundling of The Death Watch. He, by creed, is your sworn enemy. And where you have asked for his protection, he has been told by his mentor that he must marry you and gain the ability to restore Mandalore to its former glory.

Word Count: 3000>

Warnings: arranged marriage mention, childhood trauma mention, food mention

Series Masterlist

Why was he so nervous? He shouldn’t be this nervous. Din was subconsciously pacing backwards and forwards, the weight of the beskar wedding ring pulling him down with every step he took. You were sitting in the corner, cradling Grogu in your arms and cooing sweet nothings into his ear. Grogu looked up at you with complete adoration, his big, dark eyes gleaming with admiration. Din could understand why he was so fond of you. You were so easy to love.

“I’m hungry,” you announced with a small frown. You had been stuck in the covert for around four hours and it was already well into the evening. “And so is he.” you said, smoothing your hand over the little green bean’s wrinkly forehead. Din omitted a small ‘hmph’, simply acknowledging your comment but choosing not to do anything about it. Everytime he looked at you, the butterflies in his stomach only became more erratic, and his heart swelled with yearn and anticipation. He was actually going to ask you to marry him.

There was no telling how you’d react. But rather than manipulating you into believing he loved you in order to gain the throne of Mandalore, like he had initially planned on, Din had gained far too much respect for you to do such a thing. Besides, how could he possibly pretend to love you when the chances were, he was already falling. So he had opted to be honest, and it would be brutal. But he had no other choice. It would be foolish for you to refuse his proposal considering everything that was at stake.

“We need to talk.” Din announced, taking Grogu from your arms and settling him down into the hovering cot. Taking a handful of sourberries from the sack in his pocket, he dropped them into his son’s claws and used his gauntlet to close the crib, offering a sense of privacy.

“We need to talk,” you quoted him, your frown only deepening as you stood up. “That doesn’t sound good.”

Din shuffled around awkwardly. He’d never imagined marrying anyone. He was a lone wolf, and always had been. But now he was with the most beautiful princess in the entire galaxy, and you looked like something straight out of a fairytale his mother would read him when he was just a child. You were too good for this world. You were filled with care and compassion and unconditional love, but not only that, you were a warrior and a fighter. You knew what you wanted and you wouldn’t stop until you got it. And it was his duty, as a Mandalorian, to protect his Manda’lor.

“We’re surrounded. By Imps… hunters… people who want you dead. People who will turn you in for a reward. You’re safe, here, in the covert. But we’ll have to leave eventually, and it won’t be easy.” Din confessed, shaking his head. He sounded uneasy, and the tone of his voice wasn’t lost on you. Just for once, you wished he’d remove that helmet of his so you could take a look into his eyes. It would help you gauge what exactly was going on.

“But the Mandalorians here will protect me, right? That’s what you said?” you asked, and Din wanted to curse himself. You were right, he did promise that, but as it turned out, not everything was as it seemed.

“On a condition…” he exhaled, trying to hold himself together. You furrowed your eyebrows in bewilderment, waiting for him to spit it out.

It annoyed you, slightly. Din hadn’t mentioned anything about conditions before. As far as he and the other Mandalorians were concerned, you were the Manda’lor, and so you expected the warranted protection from them without question. And honestly, Din had thought that too.

Din squeezed his eyes tight shut and tried to compose himself. He felt guilty, in a way. He could ask you this and even if you agreed, you could still hate him. And he really didn’t want you to hate him. He’d grown attached to you, and gained feelings for you, and it wasn’t ideal for a man of his nature, but it was just the way it was. You’d come into his and Grogu’s life and changed it completely.

Maybe marrying you wouldn’t be so bad. You were kind and gentle and absolutely beautiful. And Din had considered settling down before. Maybe this was his moment. He just had to suck it up and go for it.

“They will protect you only if you join the creed… our creed,” Din informed you, taking a deep breath. You stiffened up, wondering what exactly this implication was. You could never join his creed. He was Death Watch, responsible for the war and murder of not only Mandalore’s civilians, but also your mother. “Since you were born into another creed, and you are not a foundling, the only way you can join the Watch is through eloping.” Din continued and you couldn’t contain the small gasp that fell from your lips. You watched as the Mandalorian fished out the beskar wedding ring and held it before you between his gloved fingers.

“Are you… are you proposing?” you asked, feeling the tears well in your eyes.

“This is the way,” Din replied softly, and you had to force yourself to look away from the silver ring. “Please, please understand.”

“We… I…” you were speechless. Asking you to join his creed who you had spent your whole life despising (and for good reason) was one thing, but then asking you to be his wife as well? Those were two very separate ordeals that you were not expecting when you woke up this morning. “We’ve only just met…”

Din closed his eyes and sighed, preparing to face the rejection. “I know.”

“And I-- I can’t join your creed. I can’t. I can’t do it Din.” you pursed your lips together as you tried to hold back the tears. “Please don’t force me.”

“Hey hey, no, I would never force you,” Din shushed, stuffing the ring back into his pocket and taking a step closer to you, breaking any distance. He wrapped his strong arms around you and pulled you into his chest. “I wish there was another way, but there isn’t. The Armorer has made that very clear. If you refuse, then you’ll have to leave, and I won’t be able to help you anymore. I-- I don’t want you to leave…” Din admitted quietly and you swallowed.

“I don’t want to leave either.” you confessed, wiping away your tears and looking up at him.

“It’s your call. But you have until nightfall.”

It wasn’t necessarily the marriage you had a problem with -- but how could you join a creed that you spent so long hating? A creed that had caused you so much distress and dismay.

“The Watch has done bad things, and I can’t… I can’t. Din… you must understand.”

“I do,” Din said, taking your hands and sitting you back down. “My parents--my real parents--were killed by Separatists. It’s been thirty years and I still can’t think about it. They are my enemies, and to be asked to join them would feel like treason to my own bloodline.”

Obviously, Din had no idea why the Imperial’s had targeted a bounty on you. He had no idea why they wanted you so bad. But you knew exactly. The burden on your shoulders of being a runaway princess who was also pretending to be the Manda’lor was unbearable, but the knowledge of you being the Manda’lor was the only thing keeping Din by your side. If he learned the truth, he’d have no reason to protect you anymore. He’d leave you, just like everyone else had. And you couldn’t even blame him.

All you had to do was retrieve the darksaber once more and regain your right of passage to the Mandalorian throne.

“How can you just sit here and let them do this, let your creed do this? I get that they’re traditionalists but their actions have caused the onslaught of millions. They’re a danger.” you shook your head.

Ever since you had told Din of what his creed had done to your home and family, he’d thought about it, a lot. The process of leaving the Watch was never an option. They had brought Din up, trained him, and protected him. He owed it to them to stay. But if what you said was true, could he really stand and represent such a harmful community? He had a son to look after, and you. The last thing Din wanted was to get unbeknownst wrapped up in some terrorist organization he once called home.

He was grateful for the Watch, and the Armorer, but they had blackmailed him and gaslit him. He’d been so blinded by it all this time, brushing off their actions as ‘the way’ and knowing to never question it. But now it was all becoming more clear, especially after telling him that your protection relies on you joining their creed.

He understood how great it would be for the Watch if the literal Manda’lor became a member, but that didn’t mean it was right. Din’s delay in a response prompted you to speak up again.

“I’m sorry, this isn’t your fault.”

Din looked back up at you and tilted his head slightly as he admired your delicate features and tear stained cheeks. “Look, I shouldn’t say this, but as long as you pretend that you’re part of the creed and pretend to follow our rules, then there shouldn’t be much of an issue. We can utilize our warriors and get off Nevarro in one piece, and that should be our priority at the minute,” You nodded your head in understanding. He was right. “But we still need to elope. If you agree, the Armorer will bear witness and marry us tonight. And we can head out first thing tomorrow morning, before dawn.”

You bit your lip as you contemplated his suggestion. It wasn’t a bad call at all. It was simply just a negotiation. Din began to prepare himself to face another bout of rejection, but instead, you reached back into his pocket and took out the beskar wedding ring. Examining it carefully in your hands, you slid it down your wedding ring finger and held your hand to the candlelight, admiring the way it sparkled against your skin.

“Okay.” you hummed, not tearing your gaze from the ring. It was a symbol of commitment, although you certainly weren’t happy about it. What other choice did you have?

“Okay?” Din repeated incredulously.

“Okay,” you said, eventually looking up at the Mandalorian and offering him a shrug of your shoulders. “I’ll marry you.”

An air of silence filled the room, but, just like always, it was comfortable.

“I’ll go tell the Armorer--” Din said eventually, straightening out his posture. He couldn’t get the image out of his head. You were going to be his wife.

“--Din?” you said before he could leave the room. He paused in his tracks but made no effort to turn around and face you. “Thank you. For everything.”

The guilt was eating you alive. You had been lying to him. He’d taken you in, done everything in his power to protect you, and even trusted you with his kid. And this entire time, you had been lying to you. He was going to marry you because he believed you were the Manda’lor.

And you weren’t.

That was going to be an issue.

When Din returned from his conversation with the Armorer, he informed you that the ceremony would take place at midnight. And that you were both to exchange vows.

“With all due respect, we barely know each other. Vows might be a problem,” you giggled, feeling a blush cross your cheeks from his presence alone.

“We’ll do the traditional Mandalorian vows, then.”

You weren’t really surprised, with his creed in particular being such traditionalists. It wasn’t a bad option, though. “Do you think… uhm… before the ceremony, we could spend some time together? Learning about each other? In the midst of all this chaos, I think it would be nice to just… talk.”

Why were you so nervous? Clearly, Din was a man of a few words. He wasn’t one to just ‘talk’. But after this sacrifice you’d made, Din thought it was the least he could do. You were going to be his wife, after all.

“Okay.” Din mumbled, sitting down next to you.

“Uhm…” you felt your voice trail off as you wondered what you could ask him. “What’s your favourite colour?”

“Don’t have one.” He answered quickly.

“Everyone has a favourite colour.” you retorted, narrowing your eyes at him.

“Not me,” Din responded, and he was thankful in that moment his helmet shielded you from seeing the smile that graced his lips. He loved it when you pulled faces like that. He thought it was adorable. “What’s yours?”

“Uhm…” you thought for a moment, and then remembered the colour of your favourite and most delicious fruit. Sourberries. You hadn’t stopped craving them since the morning. “Pink.”

“Okay…” Din replied, storing that piece of information to the back of his mind as he pondered a question to ask you. “What was it like, growing up in a palace? Being royal.”

You and Din had led very different lives growing up, there was no doubt about that.

“It was all I’ve ever known. I recognise my privilege but… it wasn’t always easy.” you replied. You had never really talked about your experiences simply because you had no one to talk to them with.

“I remember when Duchess Satine died,” Din said, his voice quiet knowing that the mention of your mother might still have been sensitive. “Were you alone, after that?”

“Not really. My aunt looked out for me. And… there was this one Jedi Knight.”

Now that was certainly something you had never expected to talk about. In fact you had been warned by Bo-Katan to never mention the relationship between your mother and that one particular Jedi. You couldn’t remember him clearly, but still to this day, you felt some kind of attachment to him. It was hard to describe. It was a type of unconditional love. He was always there for you and Satine, protecting you both. Similarly, it was just like how Din protected you and Grogu.

He never spoke to you, but when you needed him, he was there. You could always rely on him. You weren’t sure where he was now, or if he was even alive. It had been many years.

“A Jedi?” Din questioned, his curiosity piquing. He remembered what the Armorer had told him when he took in Grogu -- about his ‘kind’ being Jedi. About how they were enemies. Sorcerers. “Wasn’t there a war between the Mandalorians and the Jedi?”

“There was, yes,” you said, looking down at the floor. Din pulled off his gloves and took your hand. The skin on skin contact was enough to take your breath away. He rubbed comforting circles into your wrist as he waited for you to continue. “But my mother, like the Jedi, was a pacifist.”

“I wouldn’t say the Jedi were pacifists…” Din uttered a little too quickly.

“You have a point,” you replied after a brief moment of silence. “But this Jedi in particular… he was a good man. I wish I could’ve met him in my adolescence. I wish I could thank him.”

“Do you remember his name?” Din asked, his mind immediately thinking about the prospect of somehow locating the Jedi. If there was a way he could bring his parents back and thank them for all they had done, he would. This man was clearly a parental-like figure to you, and if he was important to you, he was important to Din.

“I don’t,” you shrugged helplessly, biting back more tears. “A few years ago I asked my aunt. I know she remembers but she just chooses to withhold that information from me. She tells me that she’s doing it to protect me.”

“I’m so sorry.” Din whispered, smoothing out your hair and pressing a keldabe kiss to your forehead. The coolness of his beskar helmet stung your forehead and, in that moment, you found yourself yearning for more.

You yearned to feel his body heat and the warmth of his lips. You yearned to see his face and memorize every detail. You yearned to tangle your fingers in his hair… you assumed that he did, in fact, have hair.

At least now, you wouldn’t have to wait so long.

“I should get ready for the ceremony, and you should too,” Din declared, eventually pulling away from you completely. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the small sack of sourberries that he’d gotten earlier. “These are for you.” he said, putting the sack into the palm of your hand.

You loosened the straw ribbon and took a peek inside. It was the pretty pink fruit you had been craving for so bad.

When you told him you didn’t like the bone broth, he’d gone out and found you sourberries.

Even though he said they were far too expensive.

He’d done it for you.

Because he loved you.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

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Taglist for Borrowed Time in the replies.

#din djarin x reader #din djarin #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #grogu #jose pedro balmaceda pascal #baby yoda

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ilikekidsshows · 3 years

Text

@sparklyaxolotlstudent wrote:

Sorry but no.

I agree with everything in here except for this bit... which is the main point, but still...

“The very idea that the class does something wrong in ‘Chameleon’ is salt.“

Nope, sorry but nope.

Yes, it’s not their fault they believe Lila’s lies.

Yes, it’s totally in character to be benevolent to someone that they believe was disabled and needed the accomodation

But that’s also the only point were they willingly (but not maliciously, one hope) fucked up.

Lila needs to be at the front because of her tinnitus. Ok, that’s the info they had, that’s what they needed to accomodate.

There are four seats at the front, meaning that Chloe, Sabrina, Nino or Adrien were the only ones that actually needed to switch places.

And what happened?

It’s ambiguos, it might not even had been Lila’s idea to begin with, but everyone decide to switch seats to be with their best friends/boyfriend/girlfriend!

And send Marinette to the back.

Which was also not necessary by any means.

“Oh Marinette I’m sorry you have to be on your own, but you’re going to sit behind Nino and me and in front o X and Y”

Nope

“Oh yeah, you weren’t here, but we decided to switch seats so you’re vanquished to the back row. Sucks to be you amirite?”

Anyone is free to think whatever they want about the seat, some people have argued that the seat is meaningless, that Marinette was overdramatic, etc, etc. Bullshit. She wasn’t made a part of the seating decision, she wasn’t even given a heads up about the seating decision.

Again, you(general you) might think whatever you want, but this was enough to upset Marinette almost to the point of akumatization

“Oh, she should have speak up that she disagreed”

She tried, and the class almost lynched her. She dares to question this, the others glare at her with such hate you could think she just murdered their grandmas.

So yeah, if anything, the class changing the whole seating arrangment without everyone agreeing to it (It’s heavily implied that Adrien was also not aware. Chloe and Sabrina could go either way, but it’s not like she would care) IS something they did wrong and SHOULD apologize. (And no, Alya’s “ You didn't think I'd let my BFF sit all by herself, did you? “ is not an apology)

It’s not salt to point out narrative flaws.

I'm sorry, but what you wrote is literally salt. You're using the exact same arguments salters have been using for years now and it doesn't matter how many times you repackage them the rest of us are still not convinced. In fact, you're so stereotypical, you're even using the cliche salter opener "sorry but no" and replacing actual arguments with nothing more than “nope”. Because your arguments are literally "well, I personally disagree so you're wrong."

Even though we've seen this dance a million times, I'll repeat the counter steps.

1) Your use of hyperbole creates a bad faith argument. The class at no point “almost lynched” Marinette. Stop making things up. You’re trying to argue your point, not make a rant post.

2) You're holding everyone not named Marinette to a completely unreasonable standard of behavior. Fictional characters are flawed as people because otherwise it would be harder to keep stakes up for an engaging story. If the non malicious intentions of the class shouldn't be taken into account and they should be forced to apologise to Marinette, Marinette should be forced to apologise to Lila because she was literally bullying Lila in that episode by your own unreasonable standards of people always having to be perfect and always having to take other people's potential hurt feelings into account.

Or do only Marinette's feelings count? In your view they probably do, because you're such a stereotypical salter.

3) The story not going exactly like you want it to is not a "narrative flaw". That's you having expectations and treating anything that doesn't hit those expectations as bad and wrong is entitled. Then again, salters tend to be entitled so I guess you're playing true to type.

You're free to project and salt and whatever and not even just for self-therapy reasons but because you like it, but don't come at me telling me that's an actual analysis of the show. I have a degree in this stuff and your biases are obvious no matter how much you repeat the same salt discourse that's been around since 'Chameleon' aired.

You get a 0% for this assignment for misrepresenting the purpose of this exercise, and for presenting somebody else’s work as your own.

#ml fandom salt #dats chats #this is literally what I meant when I said salters mimic each other #I thought this was a parody account with how accurate the 'salter stereotype' was #ml salt #since I actually showed the salter's arguments in full in the spirit of presenting the opinion I'm countering

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alfredolover119 · 4 years

Text

zukka fic rec list (post-canon)

howdy! i’ve been collecting zukka fics i like since uhhh june and now i am sharing my lists with the world. i’m splitting it into three posts so it hopefully wont be too long. this is the second one: post-canon fics! the other two will be canon era and modern au. [side note!! if youd like a specific type of rec list,, i.e. soulmate au, fake dating, ambassador sokka,, hmu and i’ll post a list !!]

within this post, the fics are in word count order! also, if you’d like a soundtrack for your reading, i might recommend my zukka playlist :^) happy reading!

speak ill by @moonsongdotmp3

-4111 words, teen

-developing/established relationship, ozai hate <3

"I hate your dad so much,” Sokka considers for a second. He tries to mix it up as often as he can when they play this game. “That I have considered starting an official petition begging Aang to reconsider his commitment to nonviolence.” // It’s quiet for a beat. He’s afraid he’s miscalculated, but Zuko laughs, broken and sincere. // (Or: 5, 8, 15 years after the war, Sokka talks shit about Ozai.)

Friends Don’t Let Friends Fake Date Each Other by @d-naggeluide

-5349 words, general

-fake dating, coming out, kinda crackfic

Toph demands that Zuko fake date her. This goes just about as well as can be expected. Sokka steps in to show them how it's done, and this goes a bit better than expected.

Oh, How We Find Our Way by @donvex

-6043 words, teen

-bed sharing, hurt/comfort, domestic fluff

In which Zuko doesn’t sleep nearly enough once he takes up the throne, and Sokka isn’t having it. And maybe they get to fall in love on the way, as a treat.

(let me be) there for you by @bisexuallsokka

-8471 words, teen

-friends/idiots to lovers, mutual pining, getting together

Sokka pulls out a clean piece of parchment and starts to write: Reasons Why Sokka Would Be A Great Bodyguard for Lord Zuko // He smiles in satisfaction at the title. Seeing it in writing only makes him feel more confident in this brilliant, two-minute-old idea of his. Zuko is one of his closest friends, and Sokka is a great fighter, he would be the perfect bodyguard! He has the entirety of his trip in the Fire Nation to prove it to Zuko. This is going to be a piece of cake.

This Isn’t My Idea of Fun by @khaleeseas

-8921 words, explicit

-royalty/moon spirit!sokka, childhood friends to lovers, no war au, mutual pining, fluff and angst

If you asked Zuko, he and Azula saw far too much of Chief Hakoda of the Northern Water Tribe’s children growing up. It wasn’t until they were older, and Azula pointed out that - duh - their families were trying to set them all up, that he realized why. // He was told by his mother to be polite. These people were their friends and allies, and though their nations were as different as they came, harmony between nations was the most important thing. // It wasn’t his fault the Chief’s children were so annoying.

the thing about dancing by anodymalion

-9713 words, teen

-trans sokka, family angst

The first time a attendant spills Zuko’s tea and doesn’t immediately fall to her knees, begging the Fire Lord’s forgiveness, it is not anger but a resounding warmth that fills his chest.

Will You Fake Date Me (But This Time For Real)? by AlyssiaInWonderland

-10520 words, not rated (teen, i think)

-fake dating, mutual pining, idiots to lovers

Zuko is determined to convince his Uncle that he is not, in fact, pining after Sokka. // Sokka is desperate to convince Katara and Aang that he is not, in fact, pining after Suki. // When Sokka's scheme to avoid pity means Zuko and him must fake date for an entire diplomatic event, shenanigans, realisations and confessions ensue.

i could (never) give you peace by @zukkababey

-10540 words, mature

-ambassador!sokka, friends to fwb to lovers, angst with a happy ending, miscommunication

Zuko almost said it. He almost said the words I think I’m in love with you, but he choked them back down at the last second. // Zuko would never be able to be what Sokka wanted. They might have needed each other during the summer, when two boys with too much weight on their shoulders found comfort in each other in the only way they knew how. // But now Zuko was Fire Lord, and Sokka was leaving.

Operation: Get the Fire Lord a Boyfriend by @rejectscanon

-10679 words, teen

-established relationship, attempted matchmaking, fluff, hurt/comfort, 5+1

5 times the people of the Fire Nation tried to get Zuko and Sokka together, and 1 time they realized they already were.

a study in matchmaking by @verdanthoney

-12218 words, general

-friends to lovers, mutual pining, idiots in love, bg bakoda and kataang

Zuko and Sokka try to play matchmaker, but things don’t go exactly as planned.

Always read Your Peace Treaties Carefully by preciousbunnynoiz

-14039 words, teen

-arranged marriage, miscommunication, found family, fluff, non-linear narrative, angst with a happy ending

Zuko and Sokka have been engaged to be married since the peace talks. Only they were the only ones who didn't know. // Everyone else thought they not only knew but that they had already been dating the entire time. // This is also news to Zuko and Sokka who have definitely NOT been dating but maybe they aren't as uninterested as they are protesting.

this love burns so yellow (becoming orange and in its time, exploding) by @meliebee

-18767 words, teen, major character death (NOT ZUKO OR SOKKA OR ANY OF THE GAANG)

-found family, slowburn, fluff and angst, hurt/comfort, mutual pining

Ten months after Zuko is crowned at seventeen, he faces his first coup.

All the Little Things by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-23575 words, general

-fake dating, friends to lovers, mutual pining, bed sharing, fluff, miscommunication

Sokka receives an offer of an arranged marriage from the Northern Water Tribe. On the one hand, accepting would strengthen ties between their tribes. On the other hand, Chief Arnook has suggested Hahn as a potential match, and Hahn sucks. But with the future of the Southern Water Tribe Reconstruction project relying heavily on the good will of the North, Sokka doesn’t know how to say no. // (Katara doesn’t have to deal with this. Katara is dating the Avatar.) // Zuko has a solution. Sokka just wishes he’d realized he was in love with the Fire Lord before he agreed to pretend to date him.

isn’t this the vision that you wanted by @goldrushzukka

-34633 words, teen

-pining, matchmaking, coming out, friends to lovers, bed sharing, internalized homophobia

Firelord Zuko - ender of the Hundred Year War, ruler of the Fire Nation, payer of respects and reparations - takes advice and counsel from representatives of every nation, division, and specialty. // But teenage boy Zuko - friend of turtleducks, wielder of fun looking swords, stumbler over words and feet in the presence of cute boys - only listens to two people, and they are conspiring together to ruin him.

(do you take this jerk to be) your one and only by @jatersade

-55855 words, teen

-enemies to friends to lovers, (not actually) unrequited love, slowburn, sharing a bed, alternate universe, arranged marriage, huddling for warmth, fluff

Under the leadership of Fire Lord Iroh, the Fire Nation has made every attempt to restore peace and make amends for the harm they inflicted during the Seventy-Year War. Their newest proposal is a literal proposal: a marriage to unite the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes. // The Fire Nation offers Prince Zuko’s hand. // The Water Tribes offer Princess Yue’s. // Sokka is apparently the only person in the world who has a problem with any of this.

Wooing the Water Tribe by @dameferre

-56839 words, teen

-didn’t know they were dating, i mean IDIOT idiots to lovers, ambassador!sokka, mutual pining, himbos istg

Zuko is courting Katara, and with every passing day finds new and insane ways of showing that he would quite literally move the spirit world and earth to make her happy. // In hindsight, it probably would've been better if Sokka had realised he was in love with Zuko at literally any time before this. Or preferably, never fallen for his best friend in the first place.

In the Soft Light by @voidcenturyscholar and @romancedawning

-83901 words, teen, graphic depictions of violence

-moon spirit!sokka, ambassador zuko kinda, hurt/comfort, slowburn, pining, canon divergence, miscommunication, sickfic, huddling for warmth, angst with a happy ending, enemies to lovers, underage drinking

As the newly appointed cultural liaison to Northern Water Tribe, Zuko is the first Fire Nation Citizen to step foot inside the city's walls in nearly a century. He's determined to prove himself—to the Fire Lord and to his father—even if the Water Tribe's spirit-touched prince seems to want nothing to do with him.

#zukka #zuko #sokka #atla #avatar: the last airbender #fic recs #zukka fic recs #fanfiction #rec list

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