#as long as theyre not sketchy or weird its all good

[fursona-bait]

im posting this later than i should, but just so i have all my bases covered - i have a new public discord server!

its a chill art & general server and a remake of an older server of mine from ages ago (its minecraft themed). it JUST opened and still isnt 100% finished, but i have events and stuff planned down the road and maybe a minecraft realm once i get a new computer (which... wont be for a bit but. still its in da plans) and i hope to have movie nights and decent frequency of calls and stuff :]!

theres no icon just yet (it will be coming soon), but i got the big basics out of the way lol

https://discord.gg/MTnraE6Sbm

[emerxshiu]

rat brainrot going hard

sorry for not posting this week, i was cooking some stuff but this drawing took almost the entire week to do, worst part, it was a shitpost

i still dont know why this took me so much

so uh, almost all my drawings this week have been related to this two(and lis) so much so that i struggled because i wanted to draw other things so i would just stare at a blank sheet of paper for over half an hour, god that was torture, tho i dont mind drawing the sillies, sometimes it gets a bit boring drawing the same over and over y'know? im also going to take this as an opportunity to ramble about my forgo gijinka, because surprisingly i hadnt done that yet.

og image

ok now to actually talk about the wet rat

ive tried doing a gijinka of em since i joined the fandom (my first gijinka was fecto elfilis (well not really they were fnaf, but i mean when i got into kirby and when i started using the term gijinka))

but most of the time it just looked like elfilin but like...evil, with a different ear and a hospital gown, thats it, so i barely drew them since i didnt like that, but on february, i actually sketched an idea that i liked, and thought it looked cute but a bit off (i mean off in a good way)

(yes im posting this image again because i think its the best drawing of my forgo (im very inconsistent with my style ok))

they have their eyes closed most of time, like in game, i considered giving them legs but i ended up with the tail, since i didnt want to end up with like a fourth evil elfilin, the arms are like that so i can have em be small and weird like in the actual game, but i also made it so they can like change it, that way i can make em have hands and stuff if necessary (like to hold that frying pan for example)

not sure if a lot of you notice it but um, bro has no neck, i took away his neck privileges, i did it just to see but i ended up falling in love with that and stuck around, and also that allows me to draw them bending their head like in the drawing above because their neck isnt necking and i like that, i like being able to draw characters doing stuff that shouldnt be anatomically possible or is abnormal (i did something a bit similar with void) thair clothes are rugged because well forgotten land you know what i mean, but in general theyre actually pretty simple

i also did the drawing in digital

i tried doing very sketchy lineart, i tried a new brush in this one and thats the one im using for my last drawings (not sure if anyone noticed the brush change) it was pain painting it because i did it all with the brush in the same size, not changing it, god did my hands hurt and it was a bad idea

i accidentaly downloaded the following 3 drawings twice lol

sleepy zzzz

i think they would wear something like this to sleep, i dunno i just wanted to draw em in something cute, and sleepy, with elfilin slippers (the mug also has elfilin btw) oh and also i like changing their hair, here one of their long bangs is tied into a bow, kinda like callie from splatoon, i have some drawing im probably wont post, one more of forgo wich looks very much like the upper one but like eyes closed, and one of fecto elfilis gyaru because my sister asked me to draw them like that, bad thing is i didnt look up references on gyaru since i couldnt use my phone at the moment, i did like the hair i did for them in that one tho, they have their bangs tied up in a bun, and then left the rest loose, making it look longer than it actually is. i might redraw it, but actually looking up gyaru so i can make something more accurate, i like the style, but im not too informed on it

elfilin being silly like a kitty :p

not much more to say on this, just sillines :3

there is totally not a cropped drawing there

based on the kirby manga, where they make it so elfilis sings really bad, at first i didnt like it that much since i had imagined they'd sign great, but after i while i started to find it a bit cute so now its a headcanon, they like to sing but suck at it.

writing this just made me remember i wanted to do another drawing too for this with kirby and them singing, but i forgot to do it, im kinda tired (and its late) ill probably draw it, but for next post or another one

tried drawing fecto forgo as a plushie, silly.

i wanna learn how to sew so i can make plushies of characters (like prince fluf!) but im way too lazy, i will get around it some day! (hopefully)

elfilin too as a plush

i also wanna learn to sculpt, i tried doing a clay kirby once, but one his feet broke in half, and one day my mom put it in a box, and his eyes fell off and stuck to the box :(

i really wanna do figures for characters i like or dont have enough merch or my ocs (prince fluff, flamberge, fecto elfilis)

but as i said, im way too lazy and unmotivated, though its be nice, one day, maybe one day if i stop procrastinating

it doesnt have the same ring to it as "feto rata mojada alien" wich is how my sister and i call them (she doesnt know that much about kirby, but i sometimes show her my drawings (reluctantly sometimes, but im the older so like >:) she has too if she wants to show me her stuff too))

silly rat and wet rat, thats how i call em (because wet rat alien fetus is too long sometimes)

you can tell the brainrot was too strong (were near done(kinda))

they gain a mouth whenever i fell like it very much

artblock hit, and all the rest of pages i stared at them for 30 minutes

it felt weird looking at my fecto elfilis with the eyes so big, it looked off (in a weird way)

dunno, tried drawing them in a different pose i i dunno really

i think these are from tuesday. i did more but those were oc (mostly splatoon) or other kirby character related, and i want this to be a rat post (might post those tommorow or another day maybe)

i dunno (x2), i tried drawing elfilin like elfilis, i really liked the hands here. i still struggle a bit with anatomy but i think this was quite good for my usual character just stading looking at the front or a quarter profile. im considering making this into a fully digital drawing, what do i say by considering im actually doing that fuck it, i just think it looks kinda cool

"This new creation, driven by pure chaos, was defeated by the bright light of Kirby's hope."

Chaos Elfilis reminds me of a moth. kirby's hope is a bright light.

you can see my thought process. i just thought itd be a bit cute and kinda silly and funny.

the kirby fandom wiki, said that chaos elfilis looked akin to a moth, and it just stuck with me, so i wanted my gijinka of them to be moth inspired, and thats when i saw just how cute moths are! i mean im still a bit scared of insects but at least now i kinda like em.

i feel like i need to say sorry to that one moth i desintegrated in a matter of seconds with a book because i thought it was an spider and didnt think (im so sorry little guy)

but ah yeah elfilis, moth, it made sense to me since chaos elfilis has the soul of morpho knight, who is a butterfly, and moths are kinda like butterflies too. and i thought itd be cute

so uh yeah i sometimes like making my chaos elfilis be a bit like a moth, that includes liking light, a lot, so uh kirby is like a lamp in here because i said so

now to talk about the desing since for some reason i hadnt earlier, as i said before, they are very moth inpired so uh im might say that word way too many times (im sorry i suck at explaining stuff)

their horns are thinner to resemble moth anntenae, and they curve just because i thought it look cool, and to differentiate it a bit from fecto elfilis. their bangs tie into a bun (i forgot to draw that but i dont wanna go and change it now, way too tiredv man and i still have to post this on other places) the bun looks a bit like an eye, because well, they are basically a soul boss, and moths have things in their wings that look like eyes, btw chaos elfilis doesnt have their wings here because i got lazy and i didnt want them to like cover most of the drawing. the things coming from their bun are like the trhee things theyve got in their head, theyre shaped like that to resemble insects legs a bit, fecto elfilis also had the 3 things (i dunno how to call em sorry) as their eyelashes, but chaos elfilis has just white eyelashes, because the bun already has the 3 things and because my morpho has white eyelashes so (i still havent done my morpho gijinka yet, i just know im gonna give the butterfly some white eyelashes cuz cute and pretty grimm reaper) the rest of the hair is shaped into like a ponytail but like, adn shaped, with whats left shaped like a lil moth

the waistband they have is a nod to morpho, they used to have a bow shaped just like the butterfly morpho appears as, but i took it out because i thought it crowded the design way too much, and also because it was too on the nose. the arms have those golden things because my fecto has it and because my og chaos elfilis gijinka had them so i wanted to bring it back, the hand fades into white because the red in the hand wasnt hard to distinguish so i came up with that to make it easier to see.

the red part of the pants are actually a bit fuzzy akin to a moth and the white part has those stripes to loke like insect stuff because y'know akin to a moth. the boots are like the red part in their legs their model in-game has, so i just made em tall boots, the high heels? originally it was platform just ike my fecto but then i wanted to draw them in high heels when i was slightly redoing chaos elfilis, and welp, i loved it and now theyve got high heels. those rings around the ankle are inspired by the ones leaongar has around their arm. also can you tell anatomy is not my strong suit? and that i dont draw high heels often?

i made a slight change in my kirby, making the sleeves be a different color, since the one he had before i felt was way too white, and i wanted to have more saturation in it

i also forgot but elfilin is supposed to wear that during forgotten land, and then i decided that after the anding of the main story he changes clothes, but i forgot about that while doing this so he has his pre-ending clothes (also because i still cant really decide on their second outfit for the post-game)

god im so tired i wanna talk and show more drawings but o shit im sweating why is it so hot in here

um thank you for reading all the unnecessary long rambles about why i do certain stuff in my gijinkas, i appreciate it a lot (im still sorry about writing walls upon walls of text but i just cant help it)

Jambuhbye! :D

[baylardo]

THIS POST IS SO LONG LMAO

idk what all ive written and not written publicly pertaining to my ideas on these cringe naenae lil thangs outside of me n tardi dm’s bc im embarrassed and its still rough and vague hahaha im still exploring things but ive thought a lot about certain aspects and not others. toxic worldbuilding lmao.

i think the idea has become that philippa is a bit into her captaincy,,,, not fresh into it. her ex-captain sh’Eraz (moid) has been apprehended or killed (idk lol) and shes in command of the Legacy,,,

theres a few ideas im still sitting on like as its been discussed like, the two kids are barely a year apart in age. which means that like her and jj had a one night stand or something and she got knocked up from it but theyre still like not in a relationship,,,,,,, i hesitate bc i kinda like the idea of the alien adopted boy having a few years (or closer to 10 years lol) on their biological daughter so idk. and it all seems REALLY indulgent to keep it all that close. but also,,,,, 😳 im just struggling to keep it dissimilar to my stuff with kathryn and chakotay and this was like, a way that presented itself haha.

and i still don’t know when JJ would re-enlist in starfleet!!! nothing compelling comes to me 😩😩😩😩 *nothing that doesnt seem super simpy like when philippa becomes a captain for example and she conveniently needs a chief engineer. ive thought that like, maybe his mother who’s been abhorrently against starfleet since joe’s death eventually insists he go because he so obviously loves and wants to follow philippa or something and it reminds her of joe I DONT KNOOOOOOW. ive also thought that maybe he joins peppa’s ship she captains LATER, initially as a civilian and very much like philippa’s Side Piece who coparents kids and rejoins later??? idk haha. i dont really like that option either fhfjdkks

anywayyyyy current idea is she finds out shes whoopsy pregnant just before leaving earth to go on an away mission, doesnt say anything to anyone even jace just leaves lol,,,, Legacy comes across this planet-size spaceship inhabited by these batlike aliens, the ship is their planet that theyve made capable of traversing space and survives on orbiting stars for periods of time, ao theyre very used to darkness but also theyre like obsessed with light sources lol. its like super advanced solar powered technology. i figure the planet has either one or a few like, densely populated areas where theres these big beacons of light protruding out of the centers of the cities, and then vast parts of the planet that are completely covered in darkness. the aliens probably have some explanation surrounding it like lack of resources or something. refer to the valleys of darkness on the planet-ship as like "outskirts" or w/e.

philippas down there doing first contact things (insert weird atmosphere inside the giant planet-ship granting philippa a unique access to it in comparison to her peers), the bat aliens are nice and accommodating to starfleet,,,,, i figure they have some mysterious visual to them of like, bearing little carnivorous fangs, but being vegetarian. stuff of that nature. philippa's a little bit sus about it but says nothing past like, maybe asking why they dont eat meat and them answering that theyve evolved past the need to consume meat and it's something that they dont look fondly on from their ancestry.

while shes there idk in some sketchy alleyway or being given a tour of a science facility, maybe philippa has stepped away from a tour to do some snooping of her own, she's a little bit problematic and too suspicious for her own good.

a runaway/criminal/fleeing/dying bat lady gives her this weird either egg/pod (she may not know its an egg at first lol) and she gets frantically told some conspiracy type stuff about their civilization being built on graves or lies or something edgy and that she cant let them have this pod/egg, its their last hope of setting things right. the bat lady looks oddly different to the other bat aliens philippa has seen; dont know visually how to contrast it yet but shes more sickly, less clean and less light-colored, more gray and fitting for a nocturnal species who rarely sees light, ravaged, less prim and proper, probably larger and more apparent fangs, etc. but she either runs off or gets captured or killed.

philippa's left more than a little confused about things but i figure she has an intuitive sense of wrongness and hasn't been vibing something she couldnt quite put her finger on regarding these aliens for a while and that kinda confirms a hunch for her. ummm proceeding to them trying to take the egg/pod away from philippa and shes like "ummmm lol no" so she ends up getting chased and her fleeing the city she's in without backup, they cut off access to her ship and comms so shes like Super Alone fending for herself out in the pitch black. POTENTIALLY she has access to starlight, id imagine the big planet-ship is a closed off dome as it travels but it opens up slits or something along its circumference to take in light from surrounding stars. so she can see but shes not emitting a beacon/torch of her own as not to give herself away.

as shes out there and hiding and trying to figure out what to do, how to contact her ship, figure out what's actually going on here, etc., the egg/pod ends up hatching and being like a weird little alien moth baby that is dissimilar to the bat aliens currently residing on this planet. ((((((my initial CRINGE thought is that like, these eggs/pods respond to like, idk MATERNITY so its been dormant for potentially years, and philippas like, secretly pregnant and it bonds/imprints on her as its mother or w/e. if i dont end up going that indulgent route you can just say that it liked the cut of her gib or something lmao. soul-related,,, ummmm good heart,,,,, etc.))))))

i figure they spend a few days together hiding. i think she'd talk to it to keep herself sane lol. maybe kinda confide a few fears she has regarding motherhood, struggles with her mother lol,,,, talk about delivering her sister's baby maybe,,,, other things too like shes just talking to this baby lmao. was talking to jellybeans about the name Moss for him haha, i think itd be cute if she just literally names him after moss. very uncreative placeholder type name that sticks. anyway baby eventually starts crying, shes worried shes gonna get caught with it, she does lmao, but by some bat aliens living in the outskirts of the planet-ship. these bats are all more visually similar to the frantic one that'd given her the egg. they discover what she has (moth baby lol) and they take her to their hideout/camp where they explain their race's history and that of the lil alien she's now charged with reluctantly taking care of. which iiiis...

the planet-ship was originally that of the moth aliens, a long time ago they took in the bat aliens that were as in need of light for some reason as much as if not more than they were, they cohabitated for a bit but eventually the bats start like overpopulating or something. ITS STILL ROUGH IN MY HEAD. i figure the moth aliens are super smart, but have a moral code that the scrungly bat aliens dont end up vibing all too much. somehow somewhy the bats end up starting to use the moth's DNA/blood, (maybe via infusion?) blending it with their own through unnatural means, in order to like, artificially augment or evolve themselves, get smarter, thus why theyve physically changed so much in appearance is because theyre like, idk living off of their blood or something to maintain their states of mind.

they also tell her that the lil baby is the last of his kind and he'd likely be safer somewhere away from this place where they cant use him anymore. (maybe the eggs are effectively preserved/ageless and supply the bats with longer lasting access to blood idk) they dont know or understand how philippa got it to hatch (maybe she does know but shes not gonna tell them. shes still repressing/ignoring the elephant in the room (pregnant) lmao). but his existence is kinda a big deal bc it proves what theyre saying and the other bats would likely not want that info coming to light or preventing them from joining starfleet or w/e. maybe their planet-ship is becoming less and less sustainable and theyre like Girl Help Lol.

philippa asks the outskirt bats for their help in getting in contact with her ship and off of the planet and they do. im sure its bumpy haha but i havent thought about this part much it just eventually happens and she makes it back to her ship, she confides in her CMO that she's pregnant (maybe) and he knows her well enough to be like "i know," bc she like, didnt get her medical examination out of the way right at the start of their departure or something and kept putting it off so ppl wouldnt know lol. ANYWAY, lil baby is given special treatment to start adapting his lungs to a new atmosphere which is long and arduous and philippa stays by his side through a lot of it. its not like she cares or is worried or anything!!!!!!!!!!!!

eventually gets back to earth, still hasnt really told anyone her news or the fact that shes kinda adoptively taking care of this baby now. i think we'd talk about her showing up to tell Jace and her initially perceiving philippa with a baby and being like 'omg' and then reading peppa's very loud thoughts and being like 'OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' haha. EVEN MORE VAGUE IDEAS WITH JJ LOLLLLLLL, has to do with my big question mark surrounding his starfleet career and everything, but theyre both like "omg we arent even dating lol hi" about it.

*falls asleep*

[acearadiamegido]

the ORIGINAL homestuck otp for me ofc we got a bingo

more detailed infodumping under the cut

-so first off i don’t have to do much to make it fucked up. the whole “sollux getting mind controlled into killing aradia” thing is already pretty fucked up. but idk i also think about how, like, at a certain point, aradia knew the game would destroy alternia, and decided she just wasn’t going to tell sollux, and encourage him to finish programming it anyway. and like obviously playing sgrub was the only way to save their friends and all that but still she could’ve like…. TOLD him this huge element of what he was doing. Not to mention that when he finally came around to participating she put him to sleep which a) made him get enough mind honey in his mouth that he blew up the roof of his apartment and killed his lusus and b) cost him enough time getting INTO the game that it probably contributed a lot to him dying in the vast glub. AND AGAIN she only really did any of this because she knew the alternative was a doomed timeline, but like. there’s some major betrayal of trust there! there’s like. this element of mirroring between vriska forcing sollux’s hand into hurting aradia, and fate/the timeline/the voices/etc forcing aradia to do some real sketchy shit to sollux, and BRO it makes me go fucking insane (which is another point on the bingo board lol)

-basically canon: i dont think this needs much more explanation. look at them. i guess i can also get into the “idk what their relationship is” thing tho like. they are CLEARLY… something. maybe its pale maybe its red but frankly neither of them seems like the kind of person that would consider it important to define it. they just, like. want to be together and be a part of each other’s lives and they don’t seem too picky about what that looks like as long as they’re together. and i eat that shit RIGHT up bro.

-this is also kind of the ethos for “theyre not dating but they’re married” like FRANKLY. i like to interpret them as like. idk simply being so damn comfy and domestic with each other at a certain point that it doesn’t actually occur to them to like… have a Discrete Conversation in which they determine that they are a couple. like maybe one or both of them intends to bring it up someday at the beginning but eventually they have just been so deeply entwined in each others’ lives that like. it would be weird to bring up since they’re basically already just married. they’re a unit. do not separate them. bonded pair. adopt together ONLY.

-i can make it so stupid: look. they are also really fucking funny together. literally just read their pesterlogs together and tell me they arent constantly arguing (recreationally not like. actually heated arguments) about dumb shit and teasing each other because they both DO dumb shit. they are utter dweebs. aradia says shit like “i think your outfit looks quite spiffy” unironically. sollux has his own goddamn custom emotes for when he makes bad puns. i love them

-thematically delicious: its about being doomed. its about loss of agency. its about being sacrificed for the greater good over and over and then one day freeing yourself from the cycle. its about being one of the few who live to the end of the story but only because you decided to leave the story. OUGH.

-the inherent eroticism of attempted murder: i think people forget that when terezi originally decided to kill vriska to avenge aradia’s death, sollux was the one she enlisted to trace doc scratch’s typewriter. he was like, involved in that murder attempt. it didnt work of course but like dude fully intended to help kill vriska. arasol is “tried to kill vriska” solidarity

- theyre sweet/the devotion: bro sollux didnt go on the meteor with karkat kanaya and terezi because he wanted to reconnect with aradia. karkat kanaya and terezi are like. arguably the dude’s best fucking friends. he just exploded his whole brain out of his face to save them and then he sees aradia and is like well. i think thats enough self-sacrifice for one day. maybe i will actually just relax now. LIKE COME ON!!!!! they are out there for potentially eternity floating thru the bubbles, which are inherently transient and impermanent, and there is no truly stable place for them to anchor except each other like god DAMN dude. i am mentally unwell about it.

anyway this is what happens when you think about 2 characters holding hands for like, 11-12 years straight.

[ririsann]

hey, i saw ur reqs are open!! and i took the chance hsjsjdjajsjaj i rlly liked ur post where reader likes to dress like a guy. ur hc is rlly cute and ik that ure going to make another part for diff characters. make i req the same ask but with diff charac? i rlly want to read the same scenario but with sanzu, ran and kokonoi!! it's ok if ure still busy with other reqs, take ur time!! i rlly love ur works <33

「 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐚 」

the boys falling in love with a crossdresser.

𝐏𝐓 𝟏 ; 𝐏𝐓 𝟐 ; 𝐏𝐓 𝟑

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠... sanzu haruchiyo, haitani ran, kokonoi hajime x f!reader (separate)

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - sanzu is during the final arc (2008/kanto manjikai),  i dont know if sanzu has pink or bleach blond hair so i went w pink, both u and koko are adults please know that,

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - YALL FEEDIN ME SO WELL WOOOOO i love writing these so much i rushed to finish part 2 because i wanted to get to this <3 its basically the same thing so rn its a trilogy!! ill be continuing to write this in general bc i love it so much ALSO IVE BEEN LISTENING TO KILLSHOT (slowed + reverb) AND ITS SUCH A NICE VIBE !! i like tokyorev playlists theyre p good 

𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐙𝐔 didn’t really care for love, or relationships, or friendships. he didn’t need connections as long as he had his “king” (mikey).

of course, he found interest in certain people he deemed good enough for his attention, like his former (backstabbing) captain, mucho, or even kokonoi when he was a part of touman. (the only reason he cared for kokonoi was because he was tasked to use him, but that’s really it).

he was cold, quiet, sharp, mysterious, and cutthroat. basically, an assassin almost.

when you think of a delinquent or gang activity, that’s not what you expect. so of course he would become interested in the person just like him, except somehow more mysterious.

as the second-in-command of the kanto manji gang, he was able to give you direct orders unless mikey said differently. honestly, he was kinda intimidated by you.

you were almost robotic-- following orders mechanically and showed very little to no emotion while doing anything. you didn’t even look like a boy or girl; you were just a person... maybe.

neither of you talked in general, and definitely not to each other. sanzu’s curiosity will stay that way as he always retreated back to himself while in your presence like you were the boss.

the only times he was able to hear your voice was when you responded to mikey’s orders while he was there. he only assumed that you were fairly young since you seemed so petite and had a higher voice. you also worked more with data and computing instead of doing the dirty work, so there was no reason for you to have muscle.

～　三途春千夜　～

“(y/n), i have a new mission for you.” currently, you were in some kind of weird alleyway with mikey and sanzu, who were basically your bosses. 

you hummed, telling the top of the kanto manji gang that you understood what he said. sometimes he wondered if you even knew how to speak.

“infiltrate brahman. that’s your mission. don’t get found out, don’t get killed.” he hands you a usb that you assume to transfer any information you got on the opposing gang.

“if anything happens, call for sanzu. he’ll always be nearby for you to find.” the pink-haired male almost looked surprised; like he wasn’t aware of this before either.

you nod, understanding your mission. not like you would be fighting either, but who knows what brahman would need? dataminer? you were here for it. someone to just be moral support? maybe not, but you had your ways.

your commander walks past you and out of the sketchy alleyway, leaving you and sanzu together and facing each other.

“i guess we’re partners now, huh.”

“yeah. just do your job and we’ll finish it quickly.” god, was that all he cared about?? just “finish the job” and then you’re gonna be done?? what were you supposed to even do in brahman???

“whatever.” he responded with a cold stare to your face, or rather, what was shown of your face due to the face mask hiding the bottom half of it.

“watch it,” he glares.

“i’m probably older than you anyway, kid. ‘m doin’ this because i work for mikey, not you.” you mumbled under your breath, and though he tried to overhear it, it was way too quiet to actually hear. especially with all of the nightclubs blasting music and cars racing by on the street just a few meters behind you.

“fuck you, anyway.”

but trust me, he didn’t mean those words at all.

he never would, and never could.

𝐑𝐀𝐍 appreciates the fact that you were quiet. rindou was annoying sometimes and he needed some alone time, though you were a little too quiet. sometimes less of quiet and more of distant.

he could never find a way to establish some sort of relationship with you unless it was on the battlefield where you were a genius. your eyes just seemed to say all of the words you needed to communicate and more.

at times, he found you boring. his sly and snarky comments would go without reply. his attempt at friendly flirting had made the mood of the room go stiff. the very occasional pun would be completely ignored. nothing to entertain him.

not only were you too quiet for his tastes, but you really only served the purpose of fighting with him and rindou, somehow being able to communicate a plan at the snapping of fingers just by glancing over to you.

an honourary haitani, they would call you-- and you would gladly accept it. i mean, who wouldn’t wanna be associated with the haitani brothers in the best way possible?

since the lack of verbal communication between you and anyone was testing his patience every day, ran decided upon himself to make it his personal goal to get you to say something to him. it didn’t matter what you said, it could literally just be a simple curse and he would be satisfied.

he’s tried everything. tickling? not even a flinch. saying some suggestive things in your ear while alone? a simple punch to the face stopped him. constantly bothering you? you bought noise-cancelling headphones and earplugs.

he was close to just giving up when he just realized something. why didn’t he straight up ask you? i mean, you usually complied to his wishes if you felt like they were reasonable.

“(y/n), why don’t you talk? like, at all.” he sinks into the couch next to you. in your hands was a shirt and a needle. you continued to stitch up a shirt that had some questionable holes in it.

“so you’re just gonna ignore me now?” you nod. why did you need to talk? you and the haitani brothers are more-or-less work relationship, according to you. yes, you’re ignoring the fact that you all live together in the same apartment.

“c’mon... why don’t you just say something..?” he drawls. “look, i’ll let you take my card and do whatever you want with it for a day if you say somethin’.”

ooh, how you loved to use all of ran’s money. yeah, you also had a lot of money but who likes using their own money while you could use others’? 

you smiled. “thanks for the money.”

ran’s head whipped around to look at you. that was not you who just spoke, right?? that light voice that whispered that??

“wait say that again.”

“thanks for the money..?”

he was. so... wow. such mixed feelings. he really thought that you were a dude for how many years you’d been working with him.

“maybe next time tell us that you’re a chick, hun.”

𝐊𝐎𝐊𝐎 saw you as his most reliable money-maker. his biggest commissions would involve you always, and you never disappointed. safe to say that you were his favourite.

the more the two of you worked with each other, the closer you became and soon you became friends instead of just work partners. personally, you would call him a homie. kiss him goodnight or something.

one of your favourite jobs from koko was when you were tasked with seducing some random old dude and killing him for money. it involved you “crossdressing”, though ironic how it was the opposite of what he thought. not that you told him.

the post was fun, but very disturbing. but he trusted that you could handle yourself enough that you would come out of it unscathed and bring him back the money you promised. he was basically your boss and this was your full-time job.

anything koko wished for, you did for the most part. and yeah, he would pay you a lot more than anyone else that would work for him as some sort of compensation for the emotional trauma he may or may not put you through.

～　九井一　～

“any specific job you want? i have a bunch of them here,” your boss explains, shoving a few papers in your general direction. you pick some of them up, examining the contents of the sheets.

you bobbed your head to the music in your earbuds as you continued to look through the many papers before making a decision. you tapped on his desk in front of him before pointing at the job you chose.

“an assassination request? that’s dangerous, (y/n).” you shrugged. you made money illegally anyway, what’s the difference between illegal money and illegal money? (the answer is that there was none in your eyes.)

“if you say so... just-- just be careful.” the man averts his eyes away from you. “you’re important to me and this business, you know? and it’s far away, so i can’t call for any back up for you unless it’s a few days in advanced.”

you nod, knowing all of the potential dangers of every job and what you’re expected to do and what you’re position is. you risk your life in every job you accept, and you’re the most important person when it comes to koko and his business in making his dirty money.

and just a few hours before you left for your flight, you met up with koko for the last time for who-knows-how-long.

“i’ll miss you, (y/n). be safe.” you shot him a grin from inside your chauffeur’s car. yes, you had your own chauffeur. 

you motioned your hand for your boss to come closer to you as you pull down your mask. he turns his head to have his ear right in front of your lips, with only a small distance between the two of you.

“i’ll miss you too, koko,” you whisper into his ear. it had been the first time he had heard your voice, so his entire shot backwards from the amount of shock he needed to start to process.

you pull your mask up again, signaling your driver to start driving off as you waved your goodbye to the man who was now in the distance on the sidewalk.

“i’ll see you soon.”

[all-hail-the-witcher]

I have spent far too much time on ao3 recently and have decided to make a list of the weirdest/best tags and finally decided to post it as a final fuck you to this entire decade, please enjoy

- “penis swag”

- “smut with feelings”

- “I swear to god this is not crack”

- “Jarvis is a dapper house elf”

- “probable misuse of federal accountancy”

- “cuddle spores”

- “blatant disrespect of a mans motorcycle”

- “unnecessary comparisons to animal planet during sexy times”

- “abusing the tagging system?”

- “no zombies were created in the harming of this story”

- “clintucky fried chicken”

- “the tags make this look way weirder than it is to be honest”

- “this is capital S Soft”

- “I dont know what straight means”

- “flowers have MEANINGS people, LEARN THEM”

- “apologies to actual Canadians, I know youre pros at invading the united states”

- “The midwest is kinda weird”

- “I spilled the sad in my porn”

- “sharing toothbrushes is weird and im not sorry to tell you that”

- “nothing serious here”

- “I could be working on one of my 50+ wips, but no here I am writing some bullshit”

- “I should go back to writing instead of adding tags”

- “im not spell checking this crap”

- “I hope none of my future psychiatrists see this, nor any of my future employers”

- “hello future historians this is what happens in the head of someone with adhd”

- “I mean theres a coffee related plot which lasts about 500 words”

- “wizards are assholes”

- “I wrote the tags before the fic and now I realize the stoy didnt went the way i wanted it to”

- “the fanfic equivalent of Well That Escalated Quickly”

- “emotionally unavailable acrophiliac murder machines”

- “omg thats a real tag”

- “really terrible twilight puns that im not even remotely sorry about”

- “I dont do human science so im allowed to make some shit up”

- “everyone should just hug man”

- “non-consensual masturbation of humans by dolphins is a real thing, my tour guide said so”

- “canon compliant to literally nothing”

- “assholes in love”

- “id like to apologize to the entire greek pantheon, except zeus cause fuck that guy”

- “trigger warning: Africa by toto”

- “st. petersburg is in Florida not russia”

- “the cheesiest flirting you'll ever read”

- “appreciate my puns”

- “its not a coffee shop au if most of it takes place in Tony Starks kitchen”

- “actually theyre kinda married”

- “mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm”

- “im just letting this story take me wherever it wants to go”

-  “superhero frathouse skyscraper”

- “no tentacle sex”

- “but no dogs kissing”

- “look- lady and the tramp gives meezers a bad rap okay?”

- “inadvisable medical practices”

- “dont try this at home kids”

- “saps in love”

- “accidentally living together”

- “just bros being bros”

- “bromance to romance”

- “all of the pop culture references”

- “mature tag for eventual violence, and also profanity because we’re all adults here for the most part”

- “getting banned from walmart”

- “the kicked out of Walmart list”

- “bribery through coffee and pizza”

- “no baloney sandwiches were harmed during the making of this fic”

- “SPAAAAACE”

- “no idea how long this will be - but it will probably be a stupid long thing”

- “space opera”

- “slow burn but it forgot to be slow”

- “seriously people, helmets are important”

- “inadvisable road safety practices”

- “accidental baby acquisition”

- “I summarize six months in a paragraph, for plot reasons”

- “monstrous abuses against perfectly good bedframes”

- “super smash bros, bucky needs to thank that game for his relationship, pikachu helped him realize that hes gay”

- “some sketchy ass explanation because reasons”

- “sex will be had while wearing olympic medals”

- “i have been informed by many parties that this is ‘very fluffy’”

- “murder strut”

- “fuck you flowers, not that kind of fuck”

- “actual trash”

- “literal litter”

- “compost couple”

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 22

oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!

I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!

anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself

oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief

god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic

tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily 

rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart

the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf

I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm 

hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot

and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude

GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift

god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN

rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....

ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much

gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time

the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him

minibot squad.....

and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...

poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems

hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback

noooo rungs ship :( 

magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn

oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More 

the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks

whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm

goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much

oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever

but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it

anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt 

and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat

and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus 

also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte

and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!

meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao

I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo 

rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT

everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it

the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things

rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily

RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF

thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro

AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT

POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god

the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew

and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing

it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao

AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE

the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho

‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant

evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head] 

rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!

he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl

and its the aliens from earlier! oooh

GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy

rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...

the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn 

oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd

the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao

skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho

cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal 

cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him

AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable 

rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry

‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god, 

OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT 

OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god. 

like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent 

and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him

ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good

the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’

I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way

an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe 

and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light). 

and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!

and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result. 

another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy

in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else

this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc

(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)

so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic

and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes. 

but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event

yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck

they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience 

it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!

I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself 

soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao

but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next 

phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!

[minniewoos]

Kim Woojin Mafia! Headcanons

woojin was the calmest

it was clear to see

amidst all the cold hearted assassins and crazies

hes the medic

as well as second in command

cause when chan gets mad, woojins able to put a level head to the situation

hes also the go-to guy when Chans out of commission

he honestly doesnt know how he got into all of this

woojin was a guy youd least expect to be involved with mafia

hes well-mannered, polite, and level-headed

but the world is strange

and now half the time he has to babysit the maknae line

who can get into petty fights at times

and woojin just cant wrap his head around why hyunjins headband is off-limits

and had to calm hyunjin down after jisung lost said headband

hyunjin and jisung are fighting

jeongins complaining about the water pressure

sometimes...he just ignores it

headaches are frequent

and so are scoldings

he really had to scold jisung to stop picking on seungmin when he was injured

jisung scrunched his face and slumped in his chair

pouty

but he really does care about the boys

although when they come to him for the dumbest injuries, he really does question them

"how did you get these bruises"

"oh they had a lot of fruit"

"what...fruit"

"fruit"

"okay"

woojin found out there was an attack at some warehouse for delivering food

jisung was making a deal

and when it went sour, they just knocked piles of produce onto him

jisung was too embarrassed to explain anything else

woojin doesnt judge tho

Lowkey does tho

but he doesnt show it

he loves all the boys tho

a soft spot grew for everybody

the boys saw woojin as a safe place

a spot for healing

he was like home

one day seungmin, of all people, came to him to talk

seungmin was struggling and just needed to talk about it

woojin was really happy about it, and gave seungmin the comfort he needed

"hyung, thank you."

"i didnt do much, don't worry about it."

it really made him smile

some days he just wonders how he ended up with skz

he needed a job, desperately

he was working on a medical degree but had trouble making money

and one day...

he encountered chan

in some back, sketchy ally

but chan was dying and bleeding out

and a little loopy and almost shot woojin

since chan was very out of it, woojin disarmed the bloody fucker

and of course woojin being woojin, helped him out

despite chans insistence on "absolutely NO ambulance. they-theyre bad..lots of money...moola... "

woojin complied

even if he thought Chans weird rambling was due to the blood loss

from a gunshot wound in his stomach

thankfully didnt hit any vitals

but woojin did bring him home and patch him up

he had some first aid stuff at home and, thankfully, enough stuff to stop the amounts of blood

but chan must've inhaled something weird

cause mans was out of it

"i said don't touch it, itll make it worse."

"but it i t c h e s."

"what did I just say????"

woojin really had to swat chans grown ass hand away like a child

chan was acting like one tho

woojin just thought chan was high and a drug deal went wrong

well....he was

but chan informed him that it was involuntary

it was from whoever attacked him

and he was meeting up with some other people to exchange some moola for the mafia

and he was mobbed

woojin wasnt gonna listen to chans talks about being the mafia boss

and being a millionaire

and basically being this super cool dude who you saw in the movies

cause what woojin saw in that moment:

a baked college kid who got mugged

and was crashing on his couch

yes. woojin just went to sleep after that

he just fell asleep as if it were a normal day

as if he didnt just save Chans life

stay unbothered king

the next morning tho

chan was sober and thoughougly embarrassed

he apologized

profusely

and after, offered woojin a job

and woojin said 🤨

obviously didnt believe chan

so chan left peacefully, once again thanking woojin

it wasnt until a few months later, they ran into each other again

a bit more put together than their last meeting

chan offered woojin the job again

and broke college student!woojin, said yes

cause mans needed the money bad

and imagine the reaction from woojin when he discovers chan wasnt lying

and so he became a part of the mafia

and well, a pretty big part of the mafia

he quickly rose to be the right hand man and top medic

since he got along surprisingly well with chan

well, woojin didnt get the best first impression of him anyway

there was a problem though

you

you were a problem

not in any bad way, you were the perfect girlfriend

woojin loved you to bits

he would bend over backwards for you if you so wished

and you felt the same

woojin was your big, safe, and loving boyfriend

he was your boyfriend who gave the best hugs

the man who would sing you to sleep if a nightmare scared you too much

he would give you the first bite of his food

and let you steal his hoodies whenever you wished

and all the big little things that came with loving woojin

that was what woojin was to you

a relationship with years underneath its belt

you were positive you could trust woojin with your life

that was until he slowly became busier

he was able to graduate college, but even after he was still so so busy

hed always say he was at his job

but

WHAT job?

some days he didnt even come home at night

at first you always said it was okay

but after so long, it was getting to you

little did you know...

your big cuddley boyfriend was the right hand man of the mafia

and woojin planned to keep it that way

it would only worry you and put you into more trouble

but eventually he couldnt hide it anymore

and he knew that

but he had absolutely no idea how to tell you

"oh ya babe, i've been in the mafia for a few years. i gotta go now, bye, love ya."

ya, um, no

you would kill him

and he wasnt even sure what you would think

you were just so...pure

not naive or innocent

you were mature

but just, a very good soul

and he was positive you would disaprove

and woojin was well

scared

he didnt want to lose you

and that worried him the most

he spent as much time with you as he could

but it was getting tough

he could sense your unease

and it made him feel guilty

chan thinks he should tell you

but chan also knows just how woojin is

woojin liked to be humble, thoughtful, and calm

it would take him time

but woojin just wanted to keep you safe and happy

and that's what he promised to do for you

ever since you began dating years ago

he promised youd be safe with him

and he plans to keep that promise

[sasukebarmitzvah]

watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog

original

took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy

Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns

this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog

DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade

**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**

lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of

shippuden

heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday

distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!

BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple

closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle

SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..

signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(

this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes

DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.

this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…

newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach

i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare

i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE

Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end

SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot

ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…

SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((

another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at

LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace

blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism

i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL

ok im done

[scaryscarecrows]

Roots and Leaves, Pt. 5

Jason ends up making a new, not-dorky e-mail to get a hold of Sheila. He’s got two, it’s not that, but one he knows Barbara (and therefore Bruce) monitors, and the other, well…look. Dick made it for him when he was a kid, and…Dick…Dick is Dick. God help him, he thought ‘littlewing@gmail’ was a good idea and by the time Jason actually found out about it, it was too late to do anything.

Oh, well. Everyone hates their first e-mail address. And at least he didn’t come up with that, he had it thrust upon him. It’s something.

He makes a nice, unembarrassing, un-Bat-stalked e-mail and sends a generic ‘hey how are you’. And then promptly pretends to himself that he doesn’t remember doing that and goes to trawl Craigslist for any sketchy-looking ads. You’d think these people would learn that there’s at least a sixty-forty shot of a cop or worse answering, but whatever.

So far, there’s not much-lotta people lookin’ for a dom-oh. Ohhh, that movie came out last weekend, didn’t it. That explains so much.

He clicks back out and channel-surfs for a bit instead, catches two seconds of a promo for something with a bloody clown and figures fuck it, he’s playing Mario Party even though it cheats worse than Penguin’s professional card players.

He’s getting absolutely wrecked by Goddamn Waluigi when his laptop announces that he’s got mail. He pauses-mid-Goddamn Waluigi gloating pose, how unfortunate-and pulls it over.

She has sent him a…it’s a…cat. She’s sent him a picture of a smiling cat. Is this a thing? Is this referencing something? Is she, perhaps, actually related to Dick?

He’s so confused.

Whatever. A quick Google search says that the cat is a thing. He responds with a piano-playing one and an inquiry about work before shutting off the Gamecube because fuck you, Waluigi.

Now what? He’s not good at this kinda thing, never was even…Before…but now? Haha forget it. He can muddle, a little, when people don’t know things but she knows something, clearly, because Batman tracked her down. She knows enough, and invariably there will be pity because nobody, including himself, knows what to say.

He wraps himself up in the blanket that lives on the couch and wishes somebody had written a manual for ‘how to live your best life after spending a year with a mad clown’. But to be fair, there can’t be that many people who lived to tell the tale.

Heh. There’s that one Gotham-based advice columnist, the one who’s there for the weirdoes with questions like ‘I have a hardcore crush on the Riddler, but I know I shouldn’t, please help me’. He could write to that…no, no, that wouldn’t end well. Some weird Joker cultist might come looking for him.

The computer dings again and he shoves a hand free from the blankets. Another cat, and a ‘thankfully slow day. This is his life now, apparently; communicating with his maybe-long-lost-mother through cat pictures. What a world.

He’s not gonna lie, though, the cats are cute and it’s…they’re a good buffer. They’re making this all a little less awkward.

As it turns out, he may come by his ‘God help the dumbasses’ honestly-Sheila has a biting sense of humor and he knows he shouldn’t laugh at the schmuck who got his dick wedged in a coconut, but…but…he’s sure that guy’s probably the same type to take a shortcut down a dark alley. Hell, for all he knows, he’s saved that exact guy from that exact situation.

Bruce would roll his eyes and rub his nose and say nothing. He was never very good at realizing that yeah, you gotta save people, but sometimes…sometimes they’re in that boat because they’re really fucking stupid.

Or at least, he never told Jason that.

It’s another hour, easy, of light back-and-forth before he makes himself send a ‘I gotta get some sleep, I got the night shift’, shuts the computer off, and burrows into his blanket. Bed’s too far away and he’s comfy here.

For once, he’s out cold in five minutes.

* * *

He lives to regret sleeping on the couch. When he wakes up, it’s late afternoon and he. Is. Stiff.

I regret my life choices.

Well. Most of them, anyway.

His computer informs him that Sheila sent him a ‘sweet dreams’ e-mail and, um. It’s. It’s been a while and he’s torn between being gobsmacked and feeling stupid for feeling all warm inside.

Catherine used to-well, when she was…healthy…-she used to read to him from an old, falling apart book of Greek myths. Looking back, she did some heavy on-the-fly editing, because it wasn’t until later that he found out that oh, Hercules killed his whole family, but she did it and after, she used to kiss his forehead and tell him the same thing. He tried to do it for her, later, but he was never really good at it and she never seemed to notice.

He did it anyway.

Stretching gets several nasty pops out of his spine and hips, but he can now move a little easier. He wants a smoothie.

He’s just finished making it when there’s a knock on his door and he frowns, tries to remember if he ordered anything recently. No…so…

It turns out to be Mz. Melinda May, armed with Snickerdoodles. Hell yes.

“Hey, Triple-M.”

“Hey, honey.” She shoves the plate at him. “I don’t trust you not to eat.”

“I do!” he protests, moving out of the way so she can come in. “I just made a smoothie! I made Jambalaya last night!”

That was a bad thing to say. She cocks an eyebrow at him and asks, voice deadly calm, “Did you put a splash of Tabasco in it?”

Shit. He knew he forgot something.

“No?”

“Boy, I told you once, I told you a hundred times…”

“I spaced! I got distracted by something outside!”

She sighs and shakes her head.

“I’m not staying, it’s my bridge night and those old bitches are going down in flames.” Some part of him is, and probably always will be, amused and terrified that she swears like that. “But you don’t take care of yourself.”

“Thanks for the cookies.”

“Hm.” She hobbles into the hall, muttering darkly to herself about, “No Tabasco…absolute disgrace…” and he shuts the door. Shower, then cookie.

…

No. Cookie first. So it doesn’t go stale or anything. Can’t be too careful, after all.

[dazaaaai]

Can you tell me about your bsd ocs and how you met them? I really enjoy ics and self-inserts and this blog is one of my personal favorites.

Oh!!! Yes yes, of course, I would absolutely love to! You’re very sweet ;w; it’s always so hard for me to imagine that tho like wh?! You actually like other peoples’ characters, even ones based on themselves??? I thought everyone hated that- so that’s why it’s a blessing to have you around, heehee! I’m glad to be one of your favorites

So I take it you know me! I will introduce you to my friends (and enemies…)

Daniel Fenton is not an OC, he’s just straight-up based on Danny Phantom because I like cartoons and that’s my second biggest fandom. It just felt weird not having him here, and he really fits in! Here he’s come to Japan with his family for work reasons, and his ghost powers are an ability instead - Going Ghost. They’re more limited here - none of that green energy blast stuff, just floating and being spooky. He saved Dazai from drowning in a river a lot like Atsushi! So Dazai set up a staged entrance exam (where he saved yours truly!) and he joined because the boy super needed money.If you’d like to read the story about that, I can share it later on! Anyways, he’s kind of always running out on his own little adventures, coming back with all the bumps and bruises he doesn’t want to talk about… Cool thing is Yosano can heal him any time with a snap of her fingers because he’s already half dead as it is! He’s a little protective of me, even from Dazai, but ah! We have real-world emotional history, so his connection to me there is strong. 

Theodore Sadau is an OC I’ve had for a long time but he’s very different here. He’s ordinarily the greatest hero but here he’s the worst villain… A Guild member who’s deluded into thinking he’s a prince and deserves to be treated as such, though he steps over everyone else. I met him in a battle and he hurt me so badly… Dazai came to save me but it was Daniel who beat him into the ground after that. His ability is Prince of Shadows, and it works exactly the same way as Danny’s, to our horror. The singularity of the ability was something that Dazai had not heard of in a long time until that battle…

Celil Memmedquluzade has a long and strange name but he’s based on an author from my country of Azerbaijan, and I’ve read all his works. The Disappearance of the Donkey, despite its title is the most depressing thing I’ve ever read and is what his ability is based on. In perfect contrast to mine (which can bring anyone to me), his ability can send anyone and anything away to any place he’s been with just one touch… But he’ll never know where. It could be back to his home country or just across the street. He joined Fyodor out of desperation even though he hates him, and is always trying to pull me away from the Agency,  find a way to leave, insistent that we don’t belong here… But I belong more in Yokohama than he ever will with the Russians. I can’t ever go back there even if there’s nothing more in the world that he wants than to return.

I have many more OCs based on authors (check them out over here or here!) that I just haven’t met in the plot, so I’m not putting them here! But the rest of the OCs I’m gonna list are all my friends, real friends who made characters for the BSD universe alongside me and have allowed me to include them in my storyline! You can see more of them here! There are many of them as well but I will focus on the ones that show up or that I mention the most!

My best friend is my actual best friend, @bishamn! Ioanna is in-universe a Greek ability user. We met when she came to Yokohama for leisure but the Mafia tried to steal her away! The Agency saved her and she ended up staying mostly because Dazai decided I needed a friend. Her ability is The Third Chance, which can turn anyone invisible and intangible (rendering them useless in a fight) for a certain amount of time, but it only works the third time she tries to use it. 

@theartisticintrovert is the Junichirou to my Naomi in a MUCH less weird and possessive way, but seriously! My surrogate big brother is Tyler, a Korean-American come to Japan, his ability Grudge sends everyone into deep and sudden anxiety which gets worse the longer he stays quiet. We met in Yokohama International School, shared a creative writing class. Then one day his ability went off super badly, and, well! Junichirou and I were sent to investigate. We ended up roping him in and he adopted Q at some point. It’s great, send him an ask about it!

Miss Momo-chan, an American come to Japan for work and having found it at the Agency, she’s the person to go to who knows everything about where anything is and how to help you with your emotional problems - and is remarkably good at putting up with Kunikida’s, er, strictness! I wonder why… @moreroads​ worked at the Agency before I was there and helped me a lot through all of my troubles!

@musical-selfshipper​ is someone you’ll never forget, and neither will I. An emotion manipulator, ability by the name of Ganymede. Chinese-Taiwanese-American, she’s Poe’s girl and it’s a wonder, he’s so shy and she’s so not, but you gotta love their love! We met when she joined the Agency straight forward, sometime after the mess with the Guild, but details about her exam are a little sketchy for now. 

Shelby is an American non-ability user clerk for the Agency who’s kind of a cryptid and a huge conspiracy theorist. Resident Ranpo lover @shelf-insert is another victim I’ve roped into joining the Agency! Nobody’s really sure if she was always in the Agency or not, but she’s for certain one of my greatest friends, and always has the greatest advice!

Millie is another clerk for the Agency! Beautiful dark skinned American friend not sweet on @minty-selfships, oh no…! :3 We met because she joined a short while after I did, but didn’t talk much until I decided that she and Atsushi were even more of a hopeless oblivious mess than me and Dazai ever were…! So the matchmaking and a great friendship began.

Let’s not forget @selfshipstation, the source of Sylvia Plath (that’s not her real name, she just forgot it and chose that one instead). Ability by the name of Amnesia, she ends up with the Guild after wiping her own memory and goes on quite a few dates with Mark!

There are MANY, MANY more (Nicole, Nezumi, Annie, Andrea, Rhiannon, Rue, Dante, Brianna, Simon, Cherri) and they are all amazing friends and great people who are definitely part of my story as a whole but for one reason or another I won’t elaborate on them!! Some whose self-insert I don’t know, some who aren’t as into BSD despite having a character, and some who I just haven’t talked to recently enough… If you’d like more info and my full ability user list tho, here’s my !! pride and joy, a document of all of them!!!

[ratsntophats]

Personal

I doubt anyone will read this. I doubt anyone will care. But at this point, i need to get this out of my system. Im not looking for pity points. Im not looking for someone to give me anything at all. I just wish things were easier.

This year fucking blows. I know i know, i always try to be the optimist. Open minded, life is what you make it, yadda yadda. But honestly, there is a darkness in me too, and sometimes i just have to embrace the inevitable. I can't always be bright. I cant always feel hope. Right now i feel buried in the ground with no understanding or motivation to get back up.

Lets piece this one thing at a time.

January. January was pretty cool. I was in love with a girl and a boy, taboo I know. But i thought i was happy. I thought WE were happy. But i guess i was wrong. I was naive. I only saw what i wanted to, i guess? Anyway. In January we all went to Colorado on vacation. It was relaxing, it was fun. We eat, we got high, we saw new places. We even scouted out where we might want to move in a few years, a school we might want to attend. At the time I wasn't totally sole on this plan. Moving halfway across the country is a big deal. But no means did i think this event would bring about an end to my false happiness, the love i thought was reciprocated, from the girl i dumbly wanted to marry.

February comes around. The break up. Out of the blue i get a text. "We need to talk". I was at work when this happened. My heart sunk. Without any warning, or prior talks, i knew. I knew she had given up, somehow. I tried to convince myself that i was overreacting. Of course this wasnt what she wanted to talk about. But i retreated into the office, haunted by fear, anxiety, doubt, and confusion. I cried my eyes out. My voice came hoarse on the walkie system when my coworker tried to find me. He tried ro console me, but i couldn't explain. How could i tell him that i was dating her? She didn't want anyone to know. The entire relationship it killed me inside. I wanted the world to know that this beautiful girl was my girlfriend but she wanted to hide. She was ashamed of me, i guess. Of us. How could i explain that i thought my "roommate", who worked at the same company nonetheleas, was breaking up with me?

After a long, painful shift i returned home. We waited. She wasnt home. We waited. It wae last midnight when she returned to "talk". She explained that she had to talk to someone else first. Someone else she had just met and barely knew. She made us wait, in utmost confusion, until the middle of the night, for HER to explain what this"talk" was about.

"I think we should break up." I couldn't handle it. In one of my weakest moments, heartbroken, I ran outside the apartment sobbing, wandering the streets alone, in my PJs. I don't know how long i wae gone. Eventually we came back. More things werw discussed. I wasn't fully there, not for a while. Even after, i wasnt myself for some time. I don't know how i let it hurt me this bad. But i truly loved her. My dumb self loved her and watched her hook up with the random guy i was never supposed to worry about. It was over. She was never proud of me, of us. For all i know it could have meant nothing to her. And now here i am, almost a year later, still thinking of that beautiful girl.

The awkward month continued. I, luckily, started a new job which kept me busy. I was so excited to make a difference. I felt so proud of my first salaried job.

I was proud. Until, fast forward to months, shit hits the fan. On April Fools day of all days I get on the wrong end of a dispute with one of my clients and am shoved head first into a god damned TV stand. I have never seen so much blood in my life. I was rushed off to the ER, and found that i had broken multiple bones in my nose and cheek, plus a huge gash where i landed. I spend the night in the hospital. The next day, i am cleared to rest at home.

2 weeks of recovery go by slowly. I get a lot of messages of concern and well wishes. I return to work briefly, only allowed to do light office work. Then, i take a month long hiatus to recover from a surgery that fixes my mess of a face and protects against potential future damage with titanium plates. I am now a cyborg.

The next few months flew by, filled with stress and me trying to overcome my trauma, having to see the client that hurt me every day, having to walk into the room where i was hurt. I saw a therapist for the break up and post accident combo. I was a mess. I felt true fear for the first time. I didnt understand it and i didn't know who i was or who i had become. I felt ugly and unwanted. But i pushed myself to go to work, i pushed myself to face my fears. My work life improved so much that i no longer had a home life. I even went to work in my dreams.

Months went on like this, saying goodbye to old coworkers and hello to new ones. I strived to become better, but the job was eating me alive. I no longer felt that overwhelming fear i once had. Instead, i started to feel less and less. I wasn't myself. In fact, i hadn't been myself for quite some time. My passion for the job faded, though my love for my clients will always remain.

November. The kicker. I continued to search for jobs to free myself and make my life my own again. I had several mediocre interviews. None of them felt right. Then, i happened upon a job i truly wanted. A guidance counseling gig. My field. I spoke alone with the school principal and actually enjoyed an interview. Honestly, this was the best interview I've ever encountered. I left the school in such a good mood, excited for my future, buying my colleague donuts and coffee on my way back to the office. Though i had to work late that night, it was one night i didnt mind.

Two days later, i received a voicemail early in the morning. "I'd like to extend an offer of employment to you." I returned the call immediately after my shift, an excitedly accepted my first school counseling job! One that i had been fighting for for 5 years! Trying to be respectful, i spoke to my supervisor shortly after and gave my two weeks notice. I thought i was doing the right thing. I felt terrible for making things difficult on my colleagues, but i wasn't about to turn down this opportunity. This was my time to shine.

November 13th. I was supposed to start November 13th. The principal had informed me that i would hear back from the charter school HR in a few days, that they would be sending me over paperwork with salary information and so on. A few days passed. Nothing. I called the school, the principal was unavailable. I was told they would have him return my call. I gave them some more time. Nothing. I called again, but this time i was met with confusion. "Mr. P no longer works here." Completely baffled, i asked for more information and was told the new administrator would contact me as soon as possible. What had happened? What the heck was going on? I tried to stay optimistic and gave them more time. Still nothing. Eventually i was able to get a hold of the new principal who explained his hands were tied. He was fully aware of my situation and haf passed along my information to HR multiple times. I just had to wait for them.

I waited. And waited. Spoke to the original recruiter that contacted me about the job several times. He didnt know anything. His boss would contact me, he said. So i waited. Finally i received a vague email of some HR personnel asking for a good time to speak over the phone. I was able to clarify that this was one of the people I had been waiting for! We set up a time to talk and i anxiously waited for her to call me with my new salary and details on my start date.

She called, but not about that. This was an interview. A what? A interview. I had to continue to interview for the position i had thought i had already accepted. There was some weird ass miscommunication going on. But i went with it. Once the call was over, i just cried. I had been waiting and waiting for someone to give me more information, and now they had left me with even more questions?

Later that week, i think, my timeline is fuzzy, i received another phone call for ANOTHER interview. I had to interview once again for the job i thought was mine. I went, hoping for the best, but my stomach in knots. Once there, i was told to fill out an application. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? i filled out thw stupid paper and was eventually ushered into the woman's office for the worst interview of my life. I'm not kidding. I had the best and worst interviews in my life within one month FOR THE SAME FLIPPING JOB. The lady stonewalled me for over an hour. Seriously. Question after question after question. I lost myself. I couldn't answer so many of her specifics and the silence of my not knowung was killing me. I wanted to die. To top it all off, she asked me why i left my previous job. Are you serious? I was honest. I told her that i had accepted ths job from the principal and was due to start. No comment, no apologies for communication. She didn't even bat an eye.

And then it was over. I left and returned home, a wreck, on November 13th, the same day i was supposed to start working at my "dream job". Two days later i saw the job posted again on indeed. It still haunts me to this day. I never heard from the stonewall lady, or any of HR, again. Who knows where Mr. P went.

And here i am, nearly a month later, jobless, essentially a hermit, drinking a bottle of wine in the shower before crawling into bed and sobbing. Okay, it was like a 1/4 of a bottle. But still. I'm a mess.

Ironically? I was offered another job. Im going to fill out paperwork tomorrow. But i dont want it. I don't trust it. I actually didn't officially accept it but i think theyre trying to get me by all means possible. A marketing job. The people feel nice, but it feels sketchy. How sad that the idea of a new job makes me break down into tears. How do i know its mine? Do i even want it? What do i want? I dont know anymore.

This became far longer than expected. Perhaps I'm overdue. I wonder what the future holds for me.

[benvoliio]

#squad, supernatural, and track and field in general! ufo and chess board for the gay aunts (idk who they are but I like them already). microscope for robo-mom (who I also already love), and contact and mixtape for the bad guy you don't have a name for yet!!!

THANK YOU I LOVE YOU alright buckle up kiddos this is gonna be a ride here we go

IN GENERAL

#squad: who's friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like?

okAY so for my main ocs the original #squad™️ is Eric, Marin, Jaden, and Kit! at the very beginning of my story each of them meets Christopher (who’s new in town) independently and decide that they simply Must be friends with this kid because everyone loves chris (i love chris). then they all figure out they met the same person and chris becomes part of their squad and also the fifth member of their band (that they desperately needed their band was average at best but now its Stellar) chirs & eric end up dating, and also marin and jaden end up in a poly relationship with someone from a slightly different social circle, Alexandria! kit doesnt end up with anyone romantically but theyre ok w that its cool

i have another, completely unrelated set of ocs that are part of a thing thats gonna be heavily inspired by r&j and that’s ben (bennie), charlie (charlotte), and jo (joanne)!! ben’s the mom friend (the human embodiment of the phrase “stressed out”), charlie has the stupid(ly fun albeit sometimes dangerous) ideas, jo is a total romantic with her head in the clouds (bet u cant guess who these three are based on lol)

spellbook: are any of your OC(s) supernatural? if so, what are they/what are their abilities?

uuh not really but i used to have a group of four ocs long abandoned that had elemental powers OH also i have an oc named peach who’s half human half weird avian creature alien idk and she has wings and telepathic powers as well as the ability to blast things w lightning-like energy and she also has a gf named jasper who belongs to @tycutiovevo​

track & field: which (if any) of your OCs are athletic? what sports to they play? which of your OCs would go HARD in P.E.?

jaden runs!! she was also on All The Teams back in middle school. alexandria is super strong and works out regularly and wears muscle tanks to show off her muscles. chris is below average at all sports excluding, for some reason, floor hockey.  bennie plays tennis to focus & relax and charlie used to be on the volleyball team until she got expelled lmao. the aunts are ex rescue agents sooo that requires some physical activity, Team Leader Winter is a current rescue agent (in kickass heels!!), the robomoms do a lot of flying but they’re robots so idk if that counts

THE GAY AUNTS™️

ufo: identity! what are some key identifying qualities or traits of your OC(s)? how to they identify in regards to gender/sexuality?

okAY! so The Aunts are how i refer to Eric’s adoptive moms, their names are Geneva and Manami and they’re an ex rescue agent couple who met through a rescue agency that goes and breaks kids out from sketchy underground organizations! both Eric and Jaden are kids they rescued and then adopted & they’re literally the best family ever i love them. the kids call them Neva and Nami instead of mom & mom lol UH ok identifying qualities.... Gene was recruited to the agency in france, speaks french english japanese and ancient greek (because why not), is a major math nerd and can hack into just about anything. she’s got big red hair that has a life of its own, warm dark brown skin and golden brown eyes and small scars across the bridge of her nose and the right side of her bottom lip. Nanami was recruited from japan, speaks japanese french, english, italian, chinese and korean. she’s an amazing mechanic and inventor and also loves to cook! she’s got black hair that she keeps a little shorter than your average pixie cut, dark brown eyes, a tiny tattoo of a rose just below her left eyebrow above her cheekbone, and she lost the lower half of her left leg in a particularly difficult rescue so she built herself a cool prosthetic leg, she also sometimes uses a sweet wheelchair she built that Geneva decked out with all sorts of awesome features!!! as for gender/sexuality: both of them identify as female and gay as hell also theyre in love and married

chess board: who is the most logical? or the schemer/planner?

honestly both of them are pretty logical, probably typically Manami comes up with a lot of good concepts and Geneva comes up with plans to make them work

ROBOMOM!!!

microscope: zoom in -- describe the little, insignificant details about an OC.

okay robomom is technically eric’s birth mother. i can explain that if you want but this is asking about insignificant details soooooo robomom is a robot specially designed and trained to nurture babies! she can fly! she became self aware and taught herself to speak using preprogrammed lullabies and “soothing responses”! she can also sing! despite belonging to the villains of my story she has Ultimate Faith in humanity and believes they are truly Good and i love her for it!!! robomom!!!

EVIL DUDE I DONT HAVE A NAME FOR

contact: how does your OC(s) feel about touch/physical contact? are they affectionate? if so, how do they display affection to others?

ohhh this is a good question for him thank you so he is seemingly just a somewhat important but also not the one In Charge member of the super terrible underground organization that is literally creating children in test tubes (Sketchy™️) but jokes on u he’s actually way worse than the person in charge of the whole thing. he is definitely not into touch unless it’s stabbing someone, literally just likes being cruel for the sake of being cruel, the only thing he feels anything resembling affection towards is his political goals and he will do anything to see them achieved including murder and torture. yeah. not a fun guy. (he stabs chris i hate him for that chris is sweet and has done nothing wrong)

mixtape: 5 songs that describe your OC(s) or songs they themselves would like.

Cold - Aqualung

bad_news - Bastille

Violence - The Unlikely Candidates

Two Evils - Bastille

My Way (MINOR KEY VERSION) - Frank Sinatra cover by Chase Holfelder 

[elcisa-blog]

hello hello yall, it’s your gal ronnie with a second muse!! this is my honey eloisa and i have so many ideas for her and i’m so excited to bring her to life since i’ve been dying to play her properly for so long, so PLease feel free to come plot w/ us ok ? OK ! anyway, her full bio can be found here if you feel so inclined, but it’s a bit long, so i’ll have a couple points under the cut summarizing it. also under the cut are some wanted connections ! that’s pretty much it for now, k byE

that’s not EMILY RATAJKOWSKI walking around?? nah, but ELOISA GOMOLKA gets that all the time. SHE’S actually from TORQUAY, ENGLAND, though they live in LA JOLLA now.  you’ve probably heard that 23 year old SERVER of CALIFORNIA PIZZA KITCHEN being referred to as the ZEALOT of this place. you know, i always see them EXPLORING AND TRAVELING or blasting A LITTLE DEATH BY THE NEIGHBOURHOOD on their lunch break..whatever.

alright so my baby was born and raised in torquay, england to a pretty religious, polish family. her father is polish and her mother is english, but their lifestyle and culture at home was very much polish based

also her actual birth name is katarzyna eloisa gomolka, but growing up in england, many people had a hard time pronouncing her first name so her friends & classmates and all that often called her by her middle name instead -- eloisa. so it eventually stuck and she legally changed around her first & middle names. ..  . 

this girl loves loves loves learning languages and studying other cultures and lifestyles , like in school , she was always that girl that took as many foreign language classes as she could. she knows the basics to a bunch of different languages but she’s fluent in english, polish, french, and spanish. 

also shes WILD ok . . . like her own weird brand of wild. she’s so Unexpected .. . its strange. but i love her sm. she’s loud, opinionated, stubborn, unpredictable, SUPER adventurous, you name it. she’s either laughing her ass off with childish excitement or spewing fire From her mouth, knowing NO boundaries . . there’s no in between like . . . shes so random, all over the place and all in your face most of the time im sorry . . . & when she loves u she clingy

anyway she also used to play the violin and horseback ride a lot growing up. her grandpa from her moms side taught her how to ride horses and she loved going to his farm in the english countryside to ride & hear his wise stories and all that. he was like her hero.

however, one day, right before eloisa was about to start her last year of high school  . . . long story short . . . there was an accident and grandpa passed away *cries* .  . . el took his death super hard since they were so close . . which caused her to get less enthusiastic about going to college and she just lost all interest at caring at all tbh, becoming more of a troublemaker at school, so her grades dropped her last year and so did all her aspirations for her future

after high school, instead of enrolling in postsecondary, she just wanted to get away from it all so she decided to trust in her adventurous side and partake in a work abroad program where she would be backpacking across south america, teaching english and helping build up communities. she did that until she was twenty-one. it was a Wild ride

in the midst of the program, while in colombia, she got involved w/ some sketchy dude who was in the drugs and car stealing business  . . . she loved the thrill & she thought she was so in love BUt he was super gross and toxic and ended up betraying her, stealing her money, and leaving her on the side of the road one night on one of his heists. aNYWAY it sucked

she finished the program and then decided to work for the work abroad program’s headquarters, which are situated in california. . . so thats how she got to san diego

eventually her position there terminated but she decided to stay in cali bc its very much her type of vibe SO now shes working at fashion valley & thats where yall come in 

SOME WANTED CONNECTIONS 

OPPOSITES ATTRACT -- cheesy name but i think it’d be cool for her to have a pal who’s kind of the complete or near opposite of her but they kind of work ? ? like honestly this girl can TALK and ramble on for so long about random shit, so i think it’d be an interesting dynamic for her to have someone who just lets her Go Off and they just like to listen to her talk and she just likes having someone to listen to her . . . inspo is from this pic right HERE

EAT THIS --  while in south america, el kind of developed a huge respect and love for cuisine and cooking so now shes kind of obsessed with searching up random, exotic recipes and trying them out. sometimes her cooking backfires and is not the greatest but shes so determined to get things right and just loves Doing it so much that she doesnt care. . . so maybe she can have like a taste testing buddy or someone who likes to cook w her or something idk ? ? shfskd omg HC: she works as a server at ca pizza kitchen but i s2g she prob always tries to sneak in the kitchen and help cook But since shes so all over the place, theyre always like “ EL GTFO OF HeRE !!!!!” 

MOTHER HEN / PAPA BEAR -- this girl needs someone to keep her in line some of the time okay. she doesnt have any family here in cali so she’d love to have someone who takes care of her and makes sure she doesnt go too far ..  like someone she looks up to in a sister/brother/guardian figure type of way ? ? 

ZOOLOGY -- eloisa doesnt have any pets .. .  she can hardly take care of herself like what u think imma let this girl have a dog ? ? NO she can have a pet ROCK ( she does ) . . . but she loves animals so she’d love hAving a pal where she can just come by and play w their pets or smthg like she’ll be the best play mate ever  .. . i just wouldnt trust her to take care of ur animal for a week or smthg lmao

ADVENTURE TIME -- if u ever just want to do something crazy or try something new. . . literally just hit up eloisa . . . so i’d love for her to have friends who just text her up like i’m Not feeling good take me somewhere. . . and SHE WILL . . .or even if they’re not sad and just want to do something exciting . .. hit her up

OOPS :( -- ok So el can be a bit clumsy and random so i think a cool connection with someone would be like maybe one day eloisa broke something of theirs or fucked up their car or dyed their hair wrong or something stupid like that . . . basically eloisa fucked up . . . and ever since then, that person doesnt really trust her anymore and is kind of annoyed with her presence in general . . . BUT eloisa feels so BAD and guilty about it so now she basically tries to do everything in her power to make it up to the other person but they just keep not having it yknow ? ? 

ORANGE CRUSH -- ok ur typical crush plot bc theyre so fluffy and cute. . . but i think maybe a plot where the crush doesnt even have to be super romantic or sexual yknow ? ? like i can definitely see eloisa just being so interested in everything the other person does and just loving being around them and loving everything they do . . . so obsessed w their comportments . . . but it can be in such a fluffy, platonic way like That feeling when u see a rly cute puppy or baby penguin . . . eloisa just wants to hug ur muse and love them But not even sexually yknow ? ? 

TAKE ME WITH YOU -- ok i love this plot sm . . . maybe like a friendship where they both want to see the world together ? ? eloisa is really big on travelling so id love for her to have a friend where they’ve been slowly putting together their dream trip where they see the world together. and their friendship is so heavily based on them sending each other places around the world where they want to go and putting together bucketlists and itineraries for if they ever end up saving money and travelling together ? ? so fun

SCIENCE PROJECT -- there’s not much that scares el and she doesnt get pushed away so easily  . ..  but i think an interesting dynamic could be if there actually was someone who kind of freaks her out yknow?? a relationship where the person actually kind of intimidates her and theres just something about the person that makes eloisa question everything .. . kind of like a science project. shes always studying them carefully, unsure of how to react to what they say . . . they’re just bizarre to her and she wants to know more

POKE ! -- basically someone she loves to annoy and pick on , but not in a hateful way

TEACH ME -- maybe someone who is teaching eloisa a new skill or language or how to do something that they’re good at because eloisa would love that so much .. . she loves trying new things.. . .like honestly anything  ..  . even if she keeps failing

TINDER DATE -- ok so in my head, i feel like eloisa would be that type of person to troll people on tinder and play around with them ..  so maybe your muse got caught up in her trap once and she trolled them on tinder lmao ? ? ? i think thatd be so funny and she just loves laughing about it all the time . .

I DO . . . WAIT, NO, I DON’T ! -- ok So this is inspired by that one episode in friends where rachel and ross get married drunk in vegas once . . . so Like literally that lmao. like that is SO something that would happen to el. like maybe one time, they found themselves in vegas together, they got super drunk, and legit got married that same night super quick ? ? ? and obviously theyre divorced now but i think that’d be a funny dynamic and lil treasure of the past to have in a friendship/relationship

SOME TYPICAL ONES THAT I CANT GET ENOUGH OF -- exes, flings, hook ups, went on a few dates in the past, best friends ( someone to braid her hair and take bubble baths w her <3 ), enemies ( maybe someone who doesnt agree w how she lives her life or her whole vibe bc she can be a bit much sometimes lmao ), etc.

or literally anything else lol

[wickymicky]

i dont really like using terms like bias and stan and stuff, things like “comeback” is also kinda weird to me lol (i mean why isnt it just called like “their next single” or something lol) but like its hard to talk about the groups i like without using those terms cause thats just the common vocabulary. i tend to use them mostly when people ask me questions that use those terms, whereas if im offering my own opinion i usually dont? i guess? well i dont really use stan ever, and ive found myself using bias a lot more on my own than i thought i would... but yeah. there are aspects of the kpop fandom culture i don’t feel like i’m gonna be a part of though... stuff like fanchants and literally every fandom name that isnt “orbit” (reveluv, flover, and insomnia arent good names even tho im a fan of those three groups. orbit is the only good one lol)... stuff like sharing fancams on twitter, streaming music videos in multiple tabs, calling myself “multifandom” when i mean im just a fan of music, those incorrect quote and shipping scenarios/fanfics posts, stuff like calling commercials ‘CFs’ and selfies ‘selcas’ (which as far as i understand are just korean versions of english terms, using english words to make a compound not found in standard english, but is commonly used by korean speakers. thats all fine, but western kpop fans using them is strange to me... theyre just synonyms), etc

i know this is a blog where i reblog pictures of idols, and to be honest, actually, i think im gonna try harder to curate the things i reblog. sometimes i reblog something just cause i like that group, even if its just like a picture of an idol i dont really know much about, just like... smiling. idk. i should try to keep this blog more tied to my appreciation of the music and the members of groups who i think are cool or funny or whatever. not just attractive. even tho, i mean, i find some of them attractive, it feels bad to reblog them just for that. feels like a nsfw blog but without the nsfw, just the shame lmao. sure, i’ll reblog someone like jinsoul being attractive, but like, i have a better understanding of who jinsoul is and how talented she is than i do of, like, someone from izone who i, to be honest, have trouble putting her name to her face because they only have two good music videos and i havent paid close attention to learn who is who. this isnt about any members in particular, its just kind of a thing i found myself doing earlier that im not sure i really enjoy doing. i was thinking of the groups i like, and checking to see if i had at least one post from every member on my blog. i had like no members of izone, so i went through tags and searches to find at least one post of every member to queue. why? cause idk, that’s what you do if youre a “stan”, right? but... is that what i am? to be honest lmao... not really. of izone? no like, i like violeta, and liking violeta made me like la vie en rose more too, but i mean.... 

this isnt just about izone, that’s just one that came to my mind. idk. i’m a fan but i’m worried i’m getting sucked into the parts of kpop fandom that get a bit sketchy, and i need to remind myself to take steps back and ask if that’s really something i’d be comfortable with in the long term. i’m still gonna post about loona and dreamcatcher and fromis and red velvet of course, im just gonna try to be more mindful of stuff, and reblog things because i want to reblog them and think that they’re worth sharing, not just because i need to fill up my queue and i kinda like this group

if this was too rambly and didnt make any sense, its cause its 3 am and im in kind of a contemplative and bad mood. 

[survivorstorybookarendelle]

Episode 7 - Call My Bluff - Richie

me and richie didnt go im so THEY THINK IT WAS AMANDA THAT VOTED OUT NEHE AND NOT ME IM ACTUALLY SCREAMING ok me whenever regan speaks in the chat rn 

well....... that was something huh!!!!! tribe swap happens, NuNuFalo is filled with people i have a foundation built with and with potential for game relationships but apparently Nevs is my home and i can never leave and i'm put on a tribe with all the people who didn't include me in the shea vote on original nevs so COOL!!!! we lose which is "shocking" because Nevs has never won an immunity challenge and i've been on nevs since day 1 so COOL!!!!! so it's st. patrick's day weekend i'm out having a good time and its theres some hours before the vote but i hadn't heard anything from anyone and im like hm.. that's strange maybe that will change but just to be safe in case my phone dies i'll just preemptively go on the defense and vote for nehe and play my idol on myself just in case but hoping that as we got closer to the vote i would have the chance to talk to people and get a grasp on what's happening... fast forward to 8pm with only an hour to the vote i log on and see that no one has messaged me so a bitch got scared and i started scrambling and messaged everyone and by 8:30 i think everyone had responded and said that they heard veronica was the vote so i was like hm.... okay??? it doesnt make sense sounds fake  and i dont want to do that because she's the only one who just did the challenge and i like her so idk about that so i might need to come up with something quick i was contemplating maybe like announcing i have the idol and saying i'm playing it on myself so that everyone votes veronica and play the idol on her hoping they didnt call my bluff... idk i was on the train home after a long day and i had a half hour to try and come up with a plan to save myself and make the vote benefit me but then veronica messaged me saying "ok full tea time and this will probs bite me in the ass but everyone is voting u out so if u have an idol u need to play it on urself" and i was like GIRL THEY ALL SAID THEYRE VOTING YOU so we were like oh wow okay so all 4 of them are lying to one of us but who are they lying to? my gut and read on this tribe told me that they were lying to me because everyone was just so sketchy, i've been left out before, and i have no real relationships with anyone on this tribe like it makes sense for them to vote me out so i knew i was the target but i was just worried about them splitting the vote tribal council comes and i wrote a long ass extra speech for my idol play saying like i'm playing this just in case i hope this is a waste of an idol so that i can solidify my trust with yall <3... which was just in case of the .001% chance they were telling me the truth and everyone was actually voting veronica but then the votes came and 4 RICHIE DOES NOT COUNT's in a row was a tragic but beautiful thing to see... why didn't they split the vote??? i was on exile like 3 times literally everyone should have expected me to have an idol lmao what dumbasses but they tried and failed to get me out and me and veronica sent home nehe :) 

 the aftermath was awkward it's weird knowing that they all just voted me out and then with ragan on our tribe brian was like "can't wait for a 3-3 vote next week" and amanda and ashton tried to do some damage control and i'm trying to do my best to not seem like i care and keep doors open because i know i have to be fake but its hard when i know that if we lose this immunity i'm fucked.... my only hope is if we win this immunity then merge next round sooooooo wish me luck hoes

I am pretty sure I'm leaving this game and it sucks. 

https://media2.giphy.com/media/3o6wrvdHFbwBrUFenu/200.webp#7

 I really want to stay and be here, but I feel like with this tribe that's going to be actually impossible. It sucks, and I'll do my best to stay, but it just doesn't seem promising. 

omg how didn’t i tell you last night i was like ok now that i played my idol maybe its back in circulation i’ve gotten a fair amount of clues maybe i can try and find it without a new clue i wanted to get it done before luke and amanda finished their hike to the castle so i was powering thru just trying every survivor contestant i made thru everyone from borneo-caramoan and then i realized i was doing /tagged/name instead of just /name i wanted to DIE

CONFESSIONAL I'm so sad. I knew Rhea was the odd one out but I love Rhea, she is the best. I had to tell her, cause she deserves it, and I don't want to lie to her, but Connor sent me receipts of her approaching him saying to please tell her if its her, which was right after I told her. I know Connor is going to be sketched out cause I'm pretty sure he told me first, but it shouldn't matter cause Rhea is okay with leaving and she knows it's her. I just wished we didn't lose and weren't in this situation. I was trying to avoid this the last time witht he challenge that was on my shoulders, but now it has to happen. I love Rhea!