#ask-slappy-and-skippy

[mryaksalot]

Animaniacs' obscure ensemble cast

Recently, I conducted a poll asking fellow fans if they believed Animaniacs underutilized their ensemble characters. It turns out a majority of you believe that each ensamble character recieved an appropriate amount of screen time, with only 21.1% of people saying that these characters were underutilized.

It is definetly a noteable question, seeing how their are so many characters within the Animaniacs universe, with so many obscure one offs that have seemed to be forgotten throughout the years.

Who are these characters? And why were they forgotten?

Most casual fans know The Warners and Pinky and The Brain. If you've seen the original 1993 run of the show, you will know about Slappy the squirell, Mr Skullhead, The Goodfeathers. If you've done a little more digging, you might have seen or heard of Rita and Runt, Mindy and Buttons, or The Mime.

Then there are those one offs that only the hardcore fans will know about. Characters such as Minerva Mink, Katie Kaboom, Chicken Boo, and those godforsaken Hip Hippos.

And then, there is the most obscure character that appears in Animaniacs by far. The Flame.

I garentee if you mention this character to a casual fan (especially one who hasn't seen the original), they will have no idea what you are talking about.

Now how has the show gone about featuring all of these characters?

Despite having a vast amount of characters at their disposal, Animaniacs(1993) tends to push three segments: Warner segments, Pinky and The Brain segments, and Slappy segments. The rest of the cast and their segments are only featured part of the time, with Rita And Runt, Mr Skullhead, and Buttons and Mindy making the most frequent apperences of these characters.

Sadly, as the show went on, many of these one off characters I mentioned were pushed to the side, in favor of The Warners and Slappy appearing more often. Pinky and The Brain got their own show, so obviously they were popular. These one offs characters were being used less and less. It's no wonder why much of Animaniacs' ensamble cast has been forgotten as time went on.

I think much of the reason why these obscure one offs seemed to disapear from the show has to due to their story potential. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot can be put into several diffrent scenerios; their dynamic and comedic style makes for a memorable and entertaining episode. There is only so many stories you can make with The Mime, for example, whose segments consist of him getting hurt over and over again.

The same goes for Minerva Mink, who only starred in two segments of her own. Her segments are solely based on her getting ganged up by a bunch of men attracted to her. There is only so many times you can use that same plot before it gets stale.

Now you may be asking to yourself: If I were a writer for Animaniacs, what would I do to fix this issue? How would I write for these one off characters?

A very simple solution, in my opinion, would be to do more crossover episodes. You could have Slappy be in a Warner segment, Buttons and Mindy could co-star in a Rita and Runt segment, The Goodfeathers could fly into a Mime segment and poop on his face or something. There is a ton of scenerios you could make by mixing these characters together.

There are some instances of crossovers occuring in the show. There was an episode where Chicken Boo got married to Ralph The Gaurd, and Minerva's infamous cameo in the episode 'Hurclue Yakko', which also starred The Hip Hippos I should add.

But I think the best example of characters crossing over in Animaniacs(1993) was in the season 3 finale, during the song 'Big Wrap Party'. The song features all of the ensemble characters throughout the show, and what food their eating at The Warners big wrap party. Everyone gets a shout out in this: Slappy, Chicken Boo, Hip Hippos, even that weird Randy Beaman kid sitting with Skippy at a table.

Despite these one off's being mostly forgotten nowadays, I can only appreciate the effort the writer's went through in creating such a large range of characters. And while some were pushed to the side in favor of The Warners, it's such a joy when these characters do show up. Who dosen't love a good ensemble cast?

[bestofanimaniacs]

WE'RE ANIMANEY, "POLL"TALLY INSANEY, THESE BRACKETS ARE A REAL SHAMEY...ANIMANIACS!

Calling all Yakko stans, Wakko kinnies, and Dot loyalists...

We're officially in Round Two of the Animaniacs Best Character Poll (abc poll)! Yakko, Wakko, Dot, and Brain have all been added to the roster and I have the feeling things are going to heat up and all my predictions will go further out the window.

Polls open today (Thursday, 3/16) at 9am CST. Happy voting!

Reblogging, tagging, commenting, liking, and friendly competition are encouraged! The ask box and submissions page are open if you need a space to lament the loss of your favs from Round 1 (yes I'm still reeling over Mr. Skullhead, I didn't put him in the poll just to lose) or to hype up your fav in Round 2 (I wanna know exactly why Squit is the best and should take it all!).

Links to the polls under cut

Round 2:

Bracket 1 -

Yakko vs. Runt

Hello Nurse vs. Minerva Mink

Bracket 2 -

Wakko vs. Rita

Slappy vs. Skippy

Bracket 3 -

Brain vs. Colin

Pinky vs. Buttons

Bracket 4 -

Dot vs. Squit Dr. Scratchansniff vs. Pesto

Round 1: Winners have been bolded.

Bracket 1 -

Runt vs Mr. Skullhead

Hello Nurse vs Mr. Director

Minerva Mink vs Chicken Boo

Bracket 2 -

Wheel of Morality vs Rita

Slappy Squirrel vs Mime

Skippy Squirrel vs Bobby

Bracket 3 -

Thaddeus Plotz vs. Colin (Randy Beaman Kid)

Pinky vs Marita Hippo

Buttons Vs Katie Ka-boom

Bracket 4 -

Ralph the Guard vs Squit

Dr. Scratchansniff vs Flavio Hippo

Mindy vs Pesto

[nastya-sokolova-2002]

Well, my dear followers, I did not come empty-handed, but with new facts about my new characters that you love so much. This new fact will be about Belle and her friend Polly. Both mice have been childhood friends with one friend who is a gray squirrel named Slappy. Here is a photo where Polly and Belle (in the mouse version) were friends with Slappy (albeit in the form of a Gacha Club, but still).

The girls had a great friendship until Belle, for some unknown reason, decided to take over the world. Polly immediately agreed to help her, because she did not want to leave her friend. But Slappy gave up on Belle's idea and walked away from them. It is known that Slappy is alive and has a nephew, Skippy, but it is not known what relatives she has. But there is one interesting fact. When Slappy first met Pinky and the Brain, she knew immediately that the two were descendants of her former girlfriends, but she didn't tell the boys that herself, because those two could have asked her about their grandmothers they didn't know when they were kids (but you know that Pinky and the Brain later found out about their grandmothers when they met them by chance in the world SCP, when Larry was alive). Slappy, when meeting Pinky and the Brain, pretended to see mice for the first time in her life. And yes, if Slappy ends up in the SCP world, then she would probably reunite with her friends and have a photo of them like this.

Slappy herself can be seen in "Animaniacs 1993" and "Animaniacs 2020" (only in the first (end of episode 5 called "Good Warner Hunting") and third (last episode called "Slappy's Return") seasons) and "Pinky and the Brain" (in the very last episode of the very last season called "Star Warners").

Slappy's date of birth in my AU is November 9, 1923.

[zestydistress]

Coffee cakes and new faces

-_-_-_-

A lanky mouse covered in ashes and bruises pushed with all his might against the glass door leading into a warm cafe, but it wouldn't budge. He kept trying but it only opened when a human pushed it, quickly helping his shorter friend up and hobbling inside before it closed on them.

The sky-eyed mouse bit down on the scruff of his friend's neck and dragged him up with him as he clawed his way to the top of the chair, and then to the top the table. He gently set him down as softly as he could and quickly went to the counter to get some napkins and order some coffee.

Meanwhile, the one who looks like he has a serious case of pink-eye was just putting pressure on his sprained ankle as he mumbled what would have been incoherent gibberish to anyone who wasn't close enough.

"Failure, failure, failure. I have to conjure up a completely new plan. What could I be missing? My calculations always add up..." He continued to murmur under his breath, it was just half hearted noises akin to words as his mind ran a mile a minute.

The lanky one soon returned with a couple napkins and a few ice cubes in his mouth, he spit them out on 2 of the 4 napkins and wiped his friend down to clean off the soot and little bit of blood. Leaving the wrapped ice on his ankle, he picked up the other tissue-ice cube and cleaned himself as well.

"Well then, what do we do before we go back to the lab, Brain?" His blue eyes held a curious gaze, and Brain knew he wouldn't be able to get to planning until they get back to the lab, as that was how it always was. He'd try to take over the world, fail, endure the walk back to the lab and hold any conversation the taller one wanted, no matter how inane his questions could become.

"The same thing we do after every plan, Pinky," the bulbous headed mouse opted to tying the melting ice cube and damp tissue around his leg instead of holding it there.

A voice shouted from behind the counter before Pinky could ask his question in return: "Caramel Cappuccino for a 'Pinkie' and a Latte with sugar for 'Brian?'" Pinky's ears perked up at this, quickly jumping off the table and onto the chair then slid down the leg and running off towards the barista.

Brain sighed as he stared after his friend, still trying to calculate the reason for his failure. He can't even blame Pinky this time because he did everything he asked him to, but it still ended in failure. He couldn't comprehend why, but he had to correct his mistakes or else he'll never be the ruler of earth.

Brain turned back towards the chair his partner sat in front of but instead saw an elderly squirrel standing with her arms crossed, and smaller squirrel right next to her. "Th' kid wanted to talk to ya, for some reason."

Brain raised an eyebrow at the squirrels, "Yes?" "I saw you on the TV!" The kid exclaimed as he rocked on his heels.

"Oh? And what was I doing?" He quizzed, showing a hint of amusement at the kid, but mostly just exhaustion. "The people on the news were saying that we need to keep an eye out for you and another mouse!"

Brain grew more confused as he glanced up at the kid's guardian, who seemed to be attempting to eye the menu from this distance but gave up quickly, perhaps due to her worsened eyesight.

"'Ey Skippy! Go help that short punk with those drinks, poor kid looks like he's struggling." She pointed towards The moronic mouse who has been trying to carry both cups at once but kept falling(miraculously keeping it from spilling.) She turned back to him and slid him a couple of bucks with a wink "get yourself a snack too, we're gonna be here a while if luck has it our way..." She grumbled the last part.

"you got it aunt Slappy!" Skippy saluted her with a smile, then snatched the money before living up to his name and skipped away towards the counter, Brain's ears flinched and pinned back for a minute as the screeching sound of a chair being pushed out registered in his mind.

"Eh, what's got you and the other twerp on the news? Heard something about the government or something?"

"I'm a genetically altered lab mouse bent on world domination, and that must have been about our latest attempt at overthrowing the American judicial system." Brain sighed, resting his elbow atop his criss-crossed legs and massaging the bridge of his snout.

Slappy folded her arms on the table, raising a questioning eyebrow. "That's a mouthful. What's your name kid?"

Brain really wasn't in the mood for small talk, so he decided that watching his friend and the young squirrel would be more beneficial than just talking to this old kook face to face. "My name is The Brain, and I'm actually quite old for my species, I've existed for over 27 years and my design's age is 2¾."

Slappy must have been thinking the same thing, or she just didn't want to be in the middle of a conversation when the other 2 got back, but she just muttered an "alright then." And didn't say anything else.

Pinky was dragging a paper bag which seemed to be filled with pastries and baked goods by his teeth, and Skippy was carrying 3 caffeinated beverages and one plastic bottle of almond milk.

Pinky once again latched onto one of the chairs, this time the one Brain sat in front of, and crawled up the side, placing the bag down atop the table they stood on. "Egad Brain!! this lovely kid came up and helped me carry the drinks! Then he paid for some snacks and they put them in this delicious bag! Oh my mouth was watering just dragging it over here! Can he stay with us while we have our coffee? Oh please say yes Brain!"

The rose-eyed mouse knew he wasn't going to get out of this without the other begging with crocodile tears. "Fine, fine. But I want my coffee before I have to engage in any more social interactions. I already have an oncoming migraine thanks to you and your nonsensical babblings."

The squirrels weren't as bad as Brain thought, and they agreed to meet and have brunch at least once a month; Though it had to be a weekend because the scientists aren't dumb enough to not notice the mice disappear from the cage.

[kornwarner]

My Most Favorite Animaniacs Episodes (also including songs) by Animation Studio

Original series (1993 - 1998)

TMS: Hello Nice Warners, Yakko’s World, Ups and Downs, Potty Emergency, The Brave Little Trailer, Roll Over Beethoven, Temporary Insanity, Noel, The Great Wakkorotti: The Master and His Music, Drive-Insane, Little Drummer Warners, LA LA Law, The Monkey Song, Hooked on a Ceiling, Pavlov’s Mice, the Wheel of Morality segments, The Senses Song, Piano Rag, Turkey Jerky, The Three Muska-Warners, No Place Like Homeless, The Flame, Clown and Out; the Tower Escapes, Chases, and Returns segments, A Christmas Plotz, Fair Game, Newsreel of the Stars, I’m Cute, Babblin’ Bijou, The Great Wakkorotti: The Summer Concert, Taming of the Screwy, Garage Sale of the Century, H.M.S. Yakko, Cutie and the Beast, the Mime Time segments, Cookies for Einstein, The Warners’ 65th Anniversary Special; Hot, Bothered, and Bedeviled

Startoons: Wakko’s America, Chairman of the Bored, Ragamuffins, Bully for Skippy, Dot - the Macadamia Nut, Wally Llama, Meet Minerva, Magic Time, Cartoons in Wakko’s Body, Slappy Goes Walnuts, There’s Only One of You, It, Plane Pals, …And Justice for Slappy, Critical Condition, Guardin’ the Garden, Windsor Hassle, Be Careful What You Eat, What Are We?, The Big Candy Store, Testimonials, the Randy Beaman segments, Meet John Brain, Meatballs or Consequences, Bumbie’s Mom, Karaoke-Dokie

Wang: Space-Probed, Go Fish, Soda Jerk, The Return of the Great Wakkorotti, Win Big, A Hard Day’s Warners, Battle for the Planet, Three Tenors and You’re Out, Mobster Mash, Dot’s Quiet Time, Hiccup, Gold Rush, The Sound of Warners, Yes, Always; With Three You Get Eggroll, Lookit the Fuzzy Heads, Super Strong Warners, The Party, Message in a Bottle, Take My Siblings Please, King Yakko, From Burbank With Love, the Good Idea, Bad Idea segments; Night of the Living Buttons, Fake, I’m Mad, Bones in the Body; No Pain, No Painting

Freelance: Chalkboard Bungle, Nighty-Night Toon, Moby or Not Moby, Survey Ladies, Of Nice and Men, Les Boutons et le Ballon, When Rita Met Runt, The Cat and the Fiddle, Katie Ka-Boom: The Blemish, General Boo-Regard, The Mindy 500, Animator’s Alley, Katie Ka-Boom: The Broken Date, Up a Tree, the Dot’s Poetry Corner segments

AKOM: Hurray for Slappy, Bingo, Raging Bird, Astro-Buttons, Multiplication, Noah’s Lark, This Pun For Hire, Dough Dough Boys, I Got Yer Can, Hello Nurse, Goodfeathers: The Beginning, Opportunity Knox, Boot Camping, White Gloves, The Girl with the Googily Goop, Mesozoic Mindy, Star Truck, Moon Over Minerva, Anchors A-Warners, Bad Mood Bobby, Back in Style, Dot’s Entertainment, No Time for Love, Jokahontas, Ten Short Films About Wakko Warner, You Risk Your Life, A Very Very Very Very Special Show, We’re No Pigeons, Kiki’s Kitten, Four Score and Seven Migraines Ago

Koko: Boo Wonder, The Carpool, Birds on a Wire, Cute First (Ask Questions Later), Here Comes Attila, The Sunshine Squirrels

Revival series (2020 - present)

Titmouse: WhoDonut, Math-Terpiece Theater: Apples, The Cutening, Hindenburg Cola, Manny Manspreader, Rome Sweet Rome, No Brainer, Bun Control, Mousechurian Candidate, Warner She Wrote, Teeniacs, Please Submit, Yakko’s Big Idea, Wakkiver Twist Parts One and Two, Talladega Mice: The Ballad of Pinky Brainy, Rug of War, How To: Brain Takes Over the World, Rejected Animaniacs Characters, Warner’s Ark, Equal Time, The Warners Are Present

Snipple: Gold Meddlers, Gift Rapper, Jurassic Lark, Fear and Laughter in Burbank, Good Warner Hunting, Suspended Animation: Part 1 and 2, Of Mice and Memes, Warners Unbound, Ex Mousina, Ralph Cam, Close Encounters of the Worst Kind

Digital eMation: Yakko Amakko, All About the Benjamin, Slappy’s Return, The Warner’s Vault, Mouse Madness, The Pinktator, My Super Sour 16, The Flawed Couple

Saerom: The Apology, WARnerGAMES: Parts 1 and 2, Christopher Columbusted, Wakko’s Short Shorts: Now Loading, Know Your Scroll, Santamaniacs, The Longest Word, The Hamburg Tickler

[drawbauchery]

[askwarners]

You kids are here too huh? Did the studio put you up to this?

[totally-nifty]

SO MY FRIEND’S EX BOYFRIEND KEEPS TEXTING ME AND TODAY HE ASKED ME TO SEND HIM A PICTURE OF ME SO I SENT HIM THIS INSTEAD AND HE HASN’T RESPONDED YET

[ashdash2417]

What if.... what if I opened up palette meme requests? Would anyone oppose? 😶

[lestatslestits]

No one asked, but here are my proposed D&D races and classes for the Warners sibs:

Yakko: He would play a Tiefling Bard because he’s Like That. He picks the race that he thinks is coolest, and the class where he can crack jokes and sing songs constantly.

Wakko: He would insist on playing an unusual and difficult to roleplay race like a Kenku, and he would be a Monk, because the use of Ki would appeal to him, almost as a reflection of his unique relationship with the physical world.

Dot: She would be a Tabaxi Barbarian, because she would find Tabaxis cute. And she would rage at every opportunity.

Bonus: Pinky and the Brain

Brain: Brain would be a Human Wizard. He would pick an unassuming race, combined with a class that lets him feel like the smartest person in the room.

Pinky: He is an Elf Cleric, for the simple reason that there is no one on earth who probably needs to be an Elf Cleric less than Pinky.

Much to his horror, Scratchansniff DMs the campaign. Occasionally Slappy will DM an incredibly chaotic oneshot. When she does, Skippy plays a Halfling Druid who loves to Wild Shape.

[sokkas-first-fangirl]

Sneak peek for the next Animaniacs oneshot!

✨

Nurse didn’t expect Skippy Squirrel to come running up to her on her lunch break. He looked frantic. If it wasn’t for how worried he looked, she’d have smiled at his costume.

“Mrs Hello Nurse!” he shouted, waving his hands in the air as he ran to her table. “You gotta come quick, Yakko’s really sick!”

Just like that, she snapped back into Work Mode. She ran across the lot with Skippy as he quickly explained that Yakko had been coughing and sneezing.

“But then he just fainted!” Skippy said, eyes wide. “The director’s really freaked out, we didn’t know who to get.”

“Always get me,” Nurse told him. “That’s what I’m here for.”

She barely even noticed the glittering, glowing, over-the-top set. She stalked through ankle-deep levels of fake snow towards her Warners.

Yakko looked dreadful. There was a grey tinge to his face, his nose and eyes had lost their shine and his ears were drooping. He was on the ground, slumped between his siblings and shivering. Nurse had never seen Wakko and Dot look so fierce before: they each had an arm around their brother, their fur was standing on end and they were glaring at anyone who dared to come close- which meant they were snarling and growling at half the cast and crew of their whole show.

“Oh thank god,” the director said when he saw her. “You were quick!”

“Of course,” Nurse said. She brushed past their worried castmates, past Slappy and Brain who were doing their best to keep everyone at bay, and knelt in front of the Warner siblings.

“Hey, kids,” she said gently. “Mind telling me what happened?” She pressed her hand against Yakko’s forehead and winced at how hot he felt.

“He was stupid and wouldn’t tell us he was sick,” Dot snapped. “That’s what happened.”

“Sorry,” Yakko mumbled, eyes half closed. That in itself raised alarm bells: Nurse wasn’t sure she’d ever heard him sound so small.

“Oh, honey, you should have said something,” Nurse said. But he was simply in no shape to be nagged and, truth be told, Nurse wasn’t inclined to anyway. Leave that to Scratchy.

She scooped Yakko off the ground with ease.

“We’re getting you to bed,” she said. “You need rest.” She turned to Slappy. “Please fetch Dr. Scratchansniff,” she added. “Tell him to come to the water tower.”

Slappy nodded, rushing away. Skippy trailed after her.

The director caught Nurse’s eye and nodded in understanding. Nurse sighed in relief. She’d half expected a fight. She was used to fights. No doubt there would be a fight with Plotz over the halt in production. Well, she could handle him. She always could.

“Come on, kids,” Nurse said. She led the way back out, Wakko and Dot marching along by her sides, both of them with wary eyes on their big brother.

“You okay, sweetie?” Nurse asked him as they got outside. “Please be honest.”

Yakko’s forehead was pressed against her shoulder, his arms loosely looped around her neck. “Best day ever,” he mumbled, even as he shivered.

Dot sighed, rolling her eyes expressively, but Nurse smiled. If he could still joke, still flirt, then things weren’t so bad.

[mryaksalot]

Animaniacs Fic Suggestion #3 The Fads Of Life

This series has been dead for a while, but I decided to bring it back up from the grave to recommend a great Animaniacs fic posted recently.

The Fads Of Life, posted by Sophia Hawkins on AO3, is a fic about Slappy Squirell and her faithful nephew Skippy. The story revolves around Skippy asking his aunt why he dosen't have any parents. This is a notable question, as Skippy's parents have never been seen or mentioned in the show. It was only a matter of time for fans to come up with their own explanation for this obscurity.

The author does a phenomenal job at explaining this obscurity away through the wisecracking wisdom of Slappy. The amount of cartoon knowlege, and the understanding of common tv tropes of the 30s and 40s, is outstanding, and is written in a way that is totally digestable for the reader. The dialouge between Slappy and Skippy was fantastic, too; both of them are totally in character for them.

It isn't often when a fic starring the squirell duo gets posted on the archive. This goes for many of the ensamble characters in Animaniacs(minus Pinky and the Brain). So when I saw this fic pop up on AO3 the other day, I was greeted with an overwhelming sense of joy upon reading it.

BOTTOMLINE: If you're a fan of Slappy Squirell, you're bound to enjoy this. This fic not only reveals many of the tropes of old cartoons, but it does a stellar job at showing the unique bond Slappy and Skippy share together.

Link to the story is below:

[ponyswagger]

hey!!

i’ve had this sideblog for a while, figured i should actually try and use it lol. my name is bennie, and i’m looking for more mutuals/friends who are into the same stuff as me! here’s some more info:

about me:

- 18 y/o

- bisexual

- nonbinary (tme)

- white

- they/them pronouns mostly

- adhd (maybe possibly autism too but idk)

do not interact (i will block you):

- basic dni shit (homophobia biphobia etc)

- terf/truscum/radfem

- don’t respect people’s pronouns

- proshipper (ew)

- you hate twilight sparkle (this is petty but i will block you)

- starlight glimmer stans (/j)

interests:

- mlp (specifically g4 but i’ll def watch g5)

- animaniacs (mostly warner sibs + slappy & skippy)

- pinky and the brain (tbh i’m literally obsessed with this)

- wordgirl

- the owl house

- gravity falls

- other pbs kids shows (arthur, wild kratts, martha speaks) (ik there’s no fandom for these but a person can dream)

favorite characters:

- twilight sparkle

- stanford pines

- becky botsford/wordgirl

- dr. two brains

- luz noceda

- eda clawthorne

- yakko warner

- slappy squirrel

- pinky (patb)

don’t hesitate to send me messages/asks! i need more friends to talk about cartoons with lol

[galactic-glamour-girl-posts]

Animaniacs : The Looney Tunes Show AU

In both the original and the reboot, the Looney Tunes tend to cameo in Animaniacs fairly often, so I think it would be cool if the Warners made cameos in more Looney Tunes shows. A while ago I saw this fan art on Twitter;

https://twitter.com/WildBlur/status/1397601180193202178

And it made me think, how would I integrate the Warners into the Looney Tunes show? I know I'm not the first to do this, for example, I've seen a few people draw/write scenarios where Bugs and Daffy from that show adopt the Warners, but I have a different idea:

-The Warners, rather than being cartoons, are real child actors who are the stars of Daffy's favourite show, "Animaniacs". The show, rather than ending in 1998, is currently ongoing. Assuming The Looney Tunes show takes place during 2011, Animaniacs in this universe started in 2010.

-Their backstory on the show is the same, but in "real life" (in the world of The Looney Tunes Show) the Warners are not from the 1930's, so Yakko really is 14, Wakko is really 11, and Dot is 9. They're still animals, but no-one knows what species they are.

-The Warners don't live in the water tower. They've been orphans since 2003 and were adopted by Dr Scratchansniff in 2005, so they live with him.

-Everyone on the show is an actor and none of what happens on the show is real...except for Pinky and the Brain, who really are lab mice who want to take over the world, but no-one takes them seriously because they think they are method acting.

-Dr Scratchansniff, despite being an another actor on the show, actually is a psychiatrist, but not at Warner Bros. studios, at a hospital.

-Thaddeus Plotz plays the CEO in the show, but Nora Rita Norita is the CEO of Warner Bros. in real life. Offscreen, Mr Plotz isn't as much of a jerk as he is on the show, but he can be difficult to work with at times.

-Slappy isn't a cartoon either, no-one on the show is, and she's not Skippy's real aunt-but that doesn't stop her from acting like it offscreen. She and Walter Wolf get along pretty well offscreen, and they often take turns in listening to the other rant about the most recent thing that ticked them off.

-Rita and Runt aren't homeless in real life and live in a happy home with their owners. In fact, their owners in real life are actually the actors who play Mindy's parents on the show. They take good care of them and, surprisingly, aren't neglectful at all.

-The Goodfeathers (Bobby, Squit and Pesto) in real life are roommates.

-Chicken Boo is the only animal on the show that isn't actually an animal, he's a man in a chicken suit.

-Daffy constantly forces Bugs to watch the show with him.

-Daffy is convinced the Warners really are cartoons that came to life, and that everyone on the show really are the characters they play.

-Eventually this annoyed Bugs so much that he drove Daffy to a fan convention once to prove that the Warners are just actors. Unfortunately Daffy wasn't convinced, since the Warners have attended a fan convention within the show in an episode, so when he approached the Warners for an autograph, he starts fanboying and asks them questions like what it's like to live in a water tower, if they'll drop an anvil on certain people's heads for him, etc.

-Yakko, confused, begins to explain to Daffy that they're real people and that everything on the show is fake, and questions who would willingly live in a water tower, and that of course they don't actually drop anvils on people's heads that'd basically be murder, in a "HOW ARE YOU THIS DUMB?!" kinda way.

-Dot interrupts Yakko and actually plays along, stating that "Yakko was just joking!" and she pretends as if they really are cartoons. Satisfied, Daffy leaves, calling Bugs a "non-believer" on the way out. When Yakko questions why Dot did that, Dot says that she "would never deny praise from an adoring fan" and that she "knows when to give the people what they want...they leave quicker that way".

[nastya-sokolova-2002]

Dot once again wakes up and greets the day ("Burbank Reprise 2"). Today, however, is the day the volcano is expected to erupt, so it is not particularly a cheerful morning. As Dot heads into town, he finds that the streets have fallen into anarchy and chaos, with Nora appearing to employ a dictator-like rule over the people. Additionally, an angry mob, led by Slappy, is searching for Julia, as they blame her for the volcano (they are under the assumption that she knows much about volcanoes due to her scientific achievements). Julia is able to hide from the angry mob, and when they are gone, she shows Dot the device she has invented that will hopefully stop the eruption. It is a bomb-like device she calls the Eruptor Interrupter. They hope to successfully climb the volcano, throw it inside, and save the town. The two begin their journey up the mountain, and there are many signs warning them of danger. However, they both press on, not letting anything stand in their way.

Back in Burbank, Brain worries that Julia and Dot will successfully climb up the mountain and save the town, but Pinky tells him that he found his avalanche maker. He says they can use it to create an avalanche that Dot and Julia won’t survive. The Electric Skates finally arrive and perform their signature song ("Burbank Boogie") while skating around the stage. When they are done, Dr Scratchansniff asks if he may perform with them as an opening act. In return for a part, the band asks Dr Scratchansniff to get them an extremely long list of luxury items. Dr Scratchansniff is determined to find each item so that he can perform in front of all of Burbank. As for Dot and Julia, they are making their way up the mountain, but not without great difficulty. Julia tries to lift their spirits by reminding them of what they have learned in karate class about never giving up, and does her best to keep their spirits up ("Chop to the Top"). When they stop to rest, Dot cannot help but think of how she misses Skippy and her brothers and friends and wishes that they was there to help them. Down below in town, Skippy is finding life as a guru unexciting, and he misses Dot as well ("(I Guess) I Miss You"). Skippy, Yakko, Wakko, Cora, Katie leaves Skippy’s followers behind, rushing off to catch up with Dot and Julia.

Meanwhile, Dr Scratchansniff has succeeded in obtaining all but one of the items on the Electric Skates' list. Despite this impressive feat, the band goes back on their word and refuses to let him perform. Before leaving, the Electric Skates call Dr Scratchansniff a loser and decide not to perform at the concert. Now alone,  Dr Scratchansniff insists that he is not a loser, as so many people seem to think. This brings about a fantasy sequence in which Squidward performs a show-stopping song and tap dance number with a back up chorus ("I'm Not a Loser").

Back on the mountain, Dot and Julia are experiencing even more difficulties as they get closer to the peak. At one point, the two friends find themselves separated when Dot falls through a crack in the mountain. They reunite but are threatened to be torn apart once again when Dot starts to fall. In the nick of time, Yakko, Wakko, Cora, Katie, and Skippy arrives wearing a jet packs (an invention of Julia's) and Skippy saves his  girlfriend from falling. The two renew their  Best Boyfriend and Girlfriend status, and the seven continue to make their way up the mountain. When they finally reach the top of the volcano, neither Yakko, Wakko, Cora, Kaite or Skippy can make it to the rim where they need to throw the device in to stop the eruption. They turn to Dot, who doubts if she can help, since she doesn't have any special skills like her friends and brothers ("Just a Simple Toon Reprise"). They remind her that it has been Dot's cheerful determination and optimism that has gotten them this far, and that his purpose in the team is to keep morale high. With new determination, Dot takes the Eruptor Interrupter and makes her way to the very rim, throwing it in. The volcano is not expected to erupt for another seven minutes, so they will have to wait until then to see if their plan worked. They then see that the city is in anarchy. The citizens have turned against each other and are destroying Burbank. They are blaming each other for what is about to happen. The band is gone, so there will be no concert and no vessel for which to escape. The gang heads home to stop them by using Julia's jetpacks at Skippy's suggestion.

After returning home to Burbank, Yakko, Wakko, Dot, Cora, Katie, Skippy, and Julia try to calm everyone down. The seven tell them that whatever happens, Burbank is their home, and they have each other. Dot tries to lift everyone's spirits with her signature song ("Best Day Ever"), and it seems to work. Finally, the time has come for the volcano to erupt, and everyone braces for their deaths. The time passes without an eruption. Bubbles float down on Bikini Bottom instead of lava signaling that the Eruptor Interrupter has worked. Nora finally admits to Dot that she has the potential to be the CEO of the studio one day. After wanting to move on from Burbank the citizens with a little encouragement from the kids make Julia feel welcome. Julia decides to stay in Burbank. With Burbank safe, everyone decides that they should celebrate by having a new concert. Since there is no longer a band, they decide to make their own music. Dot leads the entire cast in a rousing rendition of the show's main theme ("Burbank Day Reprise 3"). Even Steven Spielberg  joins in, as he descends from above on a rope, having finally managed to sneak into the show. After the cast takes their bows, they perform one last song ("Animaniacs Theme Song") and everyone goes home for the evening.

Wow! Amazing finale.

[themurphyzone]

BatB AU: A Provincial Life

Summary: It’s an ordinary day in ACME Village for Pinky. Until it isn’t. 

AN: This oneshot adapts the opening number ‘Belle’ and village scenes, up until Pinky sets off for the castle in search of his father, which leads into the entry Imprisoned. 

AO3 Link

Pinky scooped a ladleful of oatmeal into a small, earthen bowl, humming dreamily as he added a dash of cinnamon and several apple slices into the mixture. 

Today was a very special day for Papa, and Pinky wanted him to eat a healthy and nutritious meal before he went off to the fair with his invention. It would be a few days of travel, and Papa would need his strength for traveling there and back. 

“Papa, I’m going out!” Pinky called as he carefully pushed a large woven basket of acorns outside. “Your breakfast is on the table, so make sure you eat it all!” 

There was a sputter and cough of machinery and a trail of smoke from the small room that served as a makeshift workshop next to the kitchen, followed by a loud bang. 

“Just getting ‘er warmed up for the final test!” Papa shouted. “C’mon, Madeleine! You may’ve fallen apart for the 264th time, but you can do it!” 

Oh, Pinky had no doubt people were gonna love the woodcutting, ax-wielding, only occasionally threatening to take fingers off machine known as Madeleine. She was definitely gonna win that gorgeous blue ribbon at the fair! And even if she didn’t, they’d love her all the same anyway. 

He opened the door and stepped into the beautiful autumn morning, taking in the cool, fresh air as he carefully maneuvered the basket of acorns into a red wagon. The leaves were varying hues of crimson and gold, dancing along a gentle breeze that ruffled Pinky’s fur. The sun was peeking over the horizon, slowly bathing the world in light as it rose.

Two songbirds flew merrily above him, their sweet morning song filling the air with beautiful music. Pinky reached up, and one of the songbirds briefly landed on his outstretched hand before flying after his partner, leaving a red feather behind. 

“Thanks for the feather!” Pinky shouted to the sky as he tucked the feather behind his ear, where it fit perfectly. 

He picked up the wagon handle and pulled it along, the wheels squeaking along behind him.  

In the meadow beside their quaint little cottage, Pharfignewton chewed placidly on dew-covered grass. She neighed a greeting to Pinky, and Pinky cheerfully waved back. As much as he loved taking the beloved family horse into town for company, she needed her strength to lug Papa, Madeleine, and all their supplies later. So he had to let her rest. 

Reeds and wildflowers of all sorts grew along the banks of the pond that separated the little cottage from the rest of ACME Village. A pair of ducks paddled along in the water, trailed by four adorable, fluffy yellow ducklings. Several tiny turtles sunbathed on an old log, while a large green frog sat on its lily pad and caught insects unlucky enough to stray in the path of a long, sticky tongue. 

Pinky took his time crossing the cobblestone bridge over the pond, watching the wild animals go about their day without hustling, bustling, or rushing from place to place. Their lives were very different from their neighbors, despite living so close together. 

Little animals, little pond, and little humans in their little town. 

Or was everything just bigger than him? He was a mouse after all. It wasn’t hard to be bigger than a mouse, unless one happened to be an insect. 

As Pinky crossed onto the other side, he spotted a smooth, pretty gray stone poking out of the reeds. He plucked it out of the damp soil, cleaning the dirt off with the inside of his apron. 

It would be a perfect stone for his collection. And he didn’t have any that were this smooth. Most of the rocks he picked up were half-crushed or broken from city streets or well-worn paths. He tucked it into a pocket that he’d sewn on himself, because for some odd reason dresses never came with pockets. 

Then he faced the little town, with all its timber and stone buildings lining a narrow cobbled street that quickly filled with half-asleep, half-awake people trying to get an early start on their sales and trades. 

To think he and Papa had lived here for three years. While not the most exciting town in the world, Pinky was just happy they didn’t have to move again. He’d spent too much of his life being bustled from place to place since Mama died. The cottage was the loveliest place they’d ever owned. 

And while the townsfolk had the same ol’ familiar routine every day, Pinky tried to vary his activities. From baking to horseback riding to volunteering for odd jobs around town, or just taking a day off to nap under a tree and roll down the hilly meadows while grass stains formed on his back.  

Just a normal provincial life, yet Pinky often wondered what laid in the big blue yonder. Did the stars and sky look different elsewhere? Do the clouds form big, fluffy, and silly shapes in South America? 

“Bonjour!” a man called out as he threw open his shutters. 

“Good morning, Emile!” Pinky replied as he skipped past his window.  

“Bonjour! Bonjour! Bonjour!” The echoing chant swept across rooftops and streets alike as a new day dawned upon ACME Village. 

Everyone from chimney sweepers to merchants to coachmen responded with vigor and cheer, all of them satisfied with their occupations in life. 

Pinky greeted everyone he passed, though not all returned the gesture. Everyone was staring at the feather tucked behind his ear, the bulge of the stone in his pocket, or the red wagon with the basket he pulled along. He didn’t think he was that strange-looking. 

Unless he had a bit of cabbage stuck in his teeth again. But he flossed really well last night, so he didn’t think that was the case. 

“Marie, hurry up with the baguettes!” the baker shouted as he carried several loaves of bread outside. 

Pinky inhaled deeply. There was nothing quite like the scent and sound of fresh bread. 

“Narrrrrrf! Smells just like heaven, Mr. Baker!” Pinky exclaimed.  

The baker set his tray of bread on a windowsill, tapping his foot as he impatiently waited for Marie. “Morning, Pinky. You off somewhere this morning?” he asked, though he didn’t turn around. 

“Yup! I’m delivering this basket of acorns to Slappy!” Pinky said, pointing to his basket of acorns. “She really likes the acorns near our cottage but doesn’t wanna make the trip herself. She says it’s too far for her aching joints and she can’t take Skippy along because she’s still trying to convince him that we’re not gonna be shot like Bumbie’s mom if we venture into the meadow, and-” 

“Yes, yes, that’s all very nice,” the baker said, half-leaning into the open window. “Marie, I said hurry up with the baguettes! The morning rush is coming soon!”  

“Well, if you’d bought the ingredients from Francois instead of Vincent like I suggested then maybe we wouldn’t be running behind, Pierre! But no, you always act like you know best!” Marie snapped. 

Not wanting to get embroiled in yet another argument between the baker and his wife, Pinky followed the cobblestone path further into town, where the usual market sprung up, full of local farmers, tradesmen, and merchants. 

Villagers bartered and argued and traded like always, and as Pinky stopped to admire a small yellow daisy poking out from the cracks of the street, he could feel eyes follow him closely in that looking-at-you-but-pretending-we’re-not sort of way. 

“There goes the funny mouse again.” 

“Gets distracted by the littlest things, I swear.” 

“Does he even have a useful skill?” 

“Besides being the village idiot? Doubtful.” 

They’d made those comments ever since he and Papa had moved in. Everywhere they went, people asked Pinky for his trade, and Pinky always told them he took care of Papa and worked various odd jobs around the area for money. 

But that wasn’t considered a useful role in society.

He didn’t mind helping Papa though. 

Oh well though. He couldn’t delay getting these acorns to Slappy, so he hauled his wagon alongside a horse-drawn carriage that steadily cut through the crowded streets, clearing Pinky’s path.  

“Bonjour!” the coachman called to a young woman walking down the street. His eyes were trained on the girl rather than the road, and his horse plowed straight into a farmer’s cart, knocking his produce into the road.  

“MY CABBAGES!” the farmer screamed, tearing out his hair as several pigs devoured his vegetables. 

The coachman let out a nervous laugh and flicked the reins, spurring his horse forward and blithely ignoring the despairing farmer’s demands for compensation. 

“I need six eggs!” a woman cried as she tried to hold several fussing babies at once. 

“That’s too expensive!” a man complained to someone selling pottery. “Twenty coins for a pile of cheap clay? Bah!” 

Pinky and the carriage parted ways as the cobblestone street changed to an unpaved dirt path. The gossip and chatter of ACME Village faded to background noise. 

Slappy had made her home in a hollow tree on the outskirts of town, close enough to get supplies but far enough to deter most from knocking on her door. 

Pinky passed by many warning and danger signs that kept most people from bothering the old squirrel. There was a new post up today, right next to Slappy’s front door. 

LAST WARNING 

NO SELLING, NO PREACHING, NO TAX COLLECTING 

KNOCK AT YOUR OWN RISK 

Well, what was life without a little risk? Pinky knocked on the door anyway. 

He was trying to decide if one of the clouds overhead was shaped more like a monkey or a strawberry when a small brown squirrel in a blue nightgown and cap opened the door. Despite the early morning, he was wide awake and hopping in place, his excitement only growing as he spotted the basket of acorns behind Pinky.  

“Morning, Skippy! Got the basket of acorns your aunt wanted!” Pinky exclaimed.

Skippy grinned as he took the basket from the wagon. “Thanks, Pinky! Aunt Slappy will love these!” 

He popped a few acorns into his mouth and loudly crunched the shells. 

“Skippy, what’d I say about answering the door at this godforsaken hour in the morning?” a cranky voice yelled from upstairs.

“It’s just Pinky with the acorns, Aunt Slappy! No door to door salespeople, preachers, or tax collectors in sight!” Skippy shouted. Then he turned back to Pinky and pointed to his ear. “I like your feather, by the way.” 

“Thanks! I like your nightcap!” Pinky said, returning the compliment with his own. 

A few moments later, Slappy joined Pinky and Skippy downstairs. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, her long gray tail dragging behind her. 

“Well, why didn’t you say so?” Slappy asked. She tossed several acorns into her mouth and nodded her approval. “Crunchy with a pinch of salt. This is gonna be a good topping for my world-renowned creamed spinach later.” 

“SPEEWWWWWWWWW!” Skippy cried, sticking his tongue out in disgust. 

Pinky just smiled politely. Slappy took a lot of pride in her creamed spinach recipe, and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying it tasted like soggy socks. 

“Hey, when I was your age, I ate lots of creamed spinach for dinner. And now I have enough muscles to wield a hundred ton mallet,” Slappy retorted. 

“Wow! Was that when dinosaurs roamed the earth?” Skippy asked. 

Slappy gave him a light smack on the back of his head. “Little brat. Go grab a few coins from the bureau in my room. Gotta pay the mouse for lugging this stuff across town.” 

Skippy blew a raspberry at her and ran up the stairs. 

“Your tongue is never gonna go back in your mouth if you keep doing that!” Slappy yelled. 

Funny how the Squirrels were his best neighbors, even though they lived on the opposite side of town. They’d helped out so much when Pinky and Papa first moved into the countryside cottage, from showing them all the best places to buy from and all the best trees to climb. Everyone else usually stared at them strangely for not knowing how to find a shop and moved on with their day. 

Still, Pinky didn’t want to impose on them or anything. Collecting the acorns was no trouble at all. And he knew money could be a little tight in the village at times. 

“You don’t have to pay me,” Pinky said. “Poit. I don’t mind the morning exercise.” 

“You’re walkin’ outta here with those coins whether you like it or not,” Slappy said in a tone that invited no room for argument. “Don’t be one of ‘em honor before reason types. That sorta mindset is nothing but trouble.” 

Slappy’s long tail flicked in irritation, accidentally knocking a framed painting askew on the wall next to her. She sighed and fixed the crooked painting so that it hung straight. “Can never keep this darn thing straight,’ she muttered. 

Pinky had been inside the hollow tree many times, but he’d never seen this painting before. It contained a colorful cast of characters, from a carrot-munching gray rabbit to a crazy black duck to a short gunslinger with an enormous bright red mustache. 

In the painting, a youthful Slappy with a manic grin on her face and giant firecracker in her hand was chasing a bald hunter. Her smile was brighter, and her eyes didn’t seem so world-weary there.

“Like it? Old pals sent it to me two weeks ago,” Slappy asked, a hint of nostalgia in her voice. “The Looney Tunes Troupe were a rascally bunch, that’s for sure. All the money for a detailed painting, and they can’t afford a better frame. Our shows were legendary back in the day, you know.” 

“Never heard of them,” Pinky admitted. 

“Course ya haven’t,” Slappy sighed. “Your generation doesn’t know good comedy when it hits them in the bum with a mallet. Troupe’s faded into obscurity now, but they’ve never stopped traveling and being annoying yet lovable nuisances to everyone from Albuquerque to Kalamazoo to Timbuktu.” 

Pinky tilted his head. “But you don’t travel anymore.” 

If the Squirrels needed something they couldn’t get in ACME Village, they usually asked Pinky to run the errand for them. 

“Yeah, well, that’s life,” Slappy said. “Sometimes you’re a nomad with total freedom and other times you gotta flee with your nephew to a different country.” 

Before Pinky could ask more questions, Skippy barreled downstairs with as many coins as he could carry. “I didn’t know how much to grab so I just took a handful,” Skippy said, dumping the currency onto a small side table. 

Slappy picked up six coins from the pile and dropped them into a small drawstring bag, then tightened the strings and tossed the bag into Pinky’s wagon. “You can have these. I’ve got plenty more lying around,” she said. 

“If you're sure then,” Pinky said, picking up his wagon handle and turning it around. “Love to stay, but Papa’s leaving for the fair soon and I gotta see him off!” 

“Tell him we said hi!” Skippy shouted, and Pinky saluted back. 

Slappy yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “And I’m hitting the hay again. It’s too damn early, and I’m too tired to censor my swearing in front of kids.” 

o-o-o-o-o  

After his visit to Slappy’s tree, Pinky decided to kill some time at ACME Village’s fountain, where he could enjoy the fine spray of water and run in circles along the stone rim. It was always fun seeing how fast he could go without tipping into the water.

“Sorry!” he shouted as he accidentally trod over freshly washed sheets that a woman had been folding next to the fountain. She made an indignant noise and carried her basket of laundry away, nose high in the air. 

And the whispers started up again. 

“That mouse may be a beauty, but he is way too peculiar for his own good.” 

“You have to wonder if he’s feeling well.” 

“Always a dreamy, far-off look on his face.” 

On his tenth lap around the fountain, a flock of sheep strolled by, guided by a young shepherd from behind. Two fluffy ewes jumped onto the fountain rim next to Pinky and drank the water. Pinky smiled and stroked their soft wool, and the ewes bleated in contentment.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Pinky whispered into their ears. “Don’t go blabbing this to anyone now...but I believe Papa’s a shoo-in for that blue ribbon!” 

One of the ewes turned and nibbled on his ear, and Pinky laughed as her blocky teeth tugged and tickled his fur. He gently pried her jaw open and his ear popped out of her mouth, dripping wet with sheep saliva.

As Pinky prepared to slide off the fountain rim and onto the small bag of money he’d gotten from Slappy, a regal fanfare went off in the distance, thundering hoofbeats growing ever closer. 

A messenger in a white powdered wig blew his coronet and cleared his throat. 

“HEAR YE! HEAR YE! MAKE WAY FOR HIS ROYAL MAJESTY, PRINCE SNOWBALL AND HIS HUNTING PARTY!” 

The messenger’s declaration sent every man, woman, and child running towards the plaza, gathering in front of the entrance of the local tavern, the centerpoint of all social activities in ACME Village. 

The hunting party rode in on their enormous horses, spearheaded by the ruler of the province, Prince Snowball. Though only a small hamster, he was famed by all for his keen mind and ability to get results on whatever he set out to accomplish. 

Though dressed in only a simple red shirt and breeches for hunting, the only signs of his higher status being the golden crown upon his head and the expensive black horse he rode, his presence commanded respect and awe. 

Behind him, a hunting party consisting of the best huntsmen and archers in the land dragged an enormous buck, two wild boars, and several pheasants into view. 

“People of ACME Village, tonight we shall dine on these fine specimens of the animal kingdom!” Snowball announced as everyone bowed in fear of a noble’s anger. “Everyone’s presence is required, for I have a further declaration that shall lift this derelict province out of the ashes and into a glorious future!” 

His pink eyes were sharp, but beneath that layer of intelligence, there was an undertone of something that didn’t feel right. Pinky couldn’t explain it, but he always just had this odd, icky feeling that crawled up his spine whenever he saw Snowball.

The crowd straightened up, cheering and clapping and praising Prince Snowball’s name for bringing them such good fortune with the promise of more to come. 

Pinky’s ear twitched. There was a soft, desperate sound mixed in with the roars of the captivated audience.

And to the left side of the crowd, there was a tiny lamb whose back leg was tangled in a large fishing net. The mother ewe was both nuzzling the lamb in comfort and trying to pull the net off with her teeth, but to no avail. 

The shepherd never noticed his sheep were in trouble, too caught up in hailing Prince Snowball to notice one of his charges was stuck. 

Pinky hopped off the fountain and slowly walked over to the thrashing lamb and his mother, putting his hands up to show them he wasn’t a threat. The lamb bleated in panic, and the mother eyed Pinky warily. 

“May I help? I’m good at untangling stuff,” Pinky asked. He’d gotten a lot of practice when Papa occasionally tangled himself up in threads and wires. 

The ewe regarded him for a long moment, then nuzzled the back of her lamb’s head, letting him bury his head into her wool. The lamb’s trembling stopped, his back leg still. 

It was a sweet gesture, one that seemed so familiar to him, even though his own mother had long passed. He remembered that feeling of warmth and safety from so long ago, the last time he felt like he was truly home. 

Wiping a stray tear from his eye, Pinky untangled the mesh from the lamb’s leg, starting from the top and slowly moving down to the hoof. 

“There you go, baby,” Pinky said once the leg was completely free. The lamb pulled his hoof out of the netting, gave it a good shake, then joyfully pranced and bleated around his mother and Pinky. 

The mother gave Pinky a tiny nod, bleated to her little one, and together they rejoined their flock. The shepherd was still ignoring his flock in favor of Prince Snowball. Pinky couldn’t see him anymore from the ground. 

Pinky picked up his wagon handle, ready to go home and help Papa hitch everything up to Pharfignewton.

Then he felt a pair of fingers pluck the feather he’d lovingly tucked behind his ear. Pinky turned to get his feather back, and jumped when Snowball was just inches from his face. 

“Hello, Pinky,” Snowball said. He smiled, but it was more out of smugness than a real smile. 

Pinky’s ears lowered, but then he remembered his manners. “Bonjour, Prince Snowball. May I have my feather please? A really nice bird gave that to me.” 

Snowball frowned, holding the feather out of Pinky’s reach. The feather crinkled in his tight grip. “How could you possibly need this? It’s hardly good quality for even the cheapest quills.” 

“Poit. It doesn’t need to be a quill to make me happy,” Pinky replied. 

Snowball rolled his eyes, tossing the feather behind him. Pinky tried to grab it, but it was caught on a gust of wind and drifted to the ground. It landed in a mud puddle, soaking the barbs of the feather and staining it brown. 

“Pinky, get your head out of the clouds and pay attention to important matters,” Snowball’s lip curled as he blocked Pinky from retrieving his feather. “Such as showing royals courtesy when they address a peasant like you.”  

“Excuse me, Snowball,” Pinky said politely, going around the hamster to pick up his feather. The damage didn’t look too bad. Still, he tried to be careful when he cleaned it with his apron. 

Snowball crossed his arms, and the town’s whispers started up again. 

How dare he not show proper respect to Snowball, does he fancy himself higher than a prince, why would Snowball pay him any individual attention and not someone more deserving. 

“That’s Prince Snowball to you.” Snowball’s fur bristled for a moment, but he took a deep breath and put his arms around Pinky’s shoulders instead. “The whole town's talking about you and your lack of...purpose. And we can’t have that, you realize. After all, a machine requires all of its cogs and gears to run smoothly, otherwise it won’t work.” 

“Bet his crackpot father would know something about that!” one of Snowball’s men chortled. 

Everyone laughed, even Snowball, who rarely did so. An unfamiliar feeling boiled in Pinky’s stomach. 

“Don’t talk about my father that way!” Pinky snapped. His inventions were amazing and he was going to do well at the fair! They didn’t know how hard Papa worked on his inventions! 

Snowball glared at his men. “Yes, don’t talk about his father that way, you fools!” he hissed like Pinky hadn’t heard him laughing just seconds ago. 

“He’s not a crackpot! His invention’s gonna win the blue ribbon cause it was made with smarts and love, you’ll see!” Pinky declared, just as an explosion went off in the distance. 

And he knew exactly where that explosion had come from. 

“I have to go. Goodbye!” Pinky dragged his wagon behind him, setting off for the cottage he and Papa called home. 

“It’s a pity and a sin, 

He doesn’t quite fit in. 

He really is a funny mouse, 

A beauty but a funny mouse, 

He really is a funny mouse, 

THAT PIN-” 

The sharp, high-pitched crack of a rifle interrupted the village’s song, and everyone ran for cover. 

“WILL YA SHUT UP? SOME OF US ARE TRYIN’ TA SLEEP!” Slappy shouted from her tree, her screech blowing tiles and lumber from the roofs of buildings. 

Just a provincial life in this little town. Pinky ran across the cobblestone bridge, wondering if he truly had the right to ask for something more than that.

o-o-o-o-o

He hurried over to the cellar, where smoke trailed from the gaps of the heavy wooden doors. Pinky opened the entrance, and a smoky cloud blew right in his face. He coughed and waved it away, hiding his nose in his dress as he hurried over to Papa, who’d been thrown onto his back. A pile of broken wooden planks covered him. 

In the corner, Madeleine sputtered, her gears and dials spinning wildly before she finally quieted down, one loose spring sending a gear crashing into a wall. 

“Dagnabbit, Madeleine!” Papa cursed, stumbling as he extracted himself from the pile of wooden planks. Pinky grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet, checking him over for any injuries. Luckily, there were no bruises or splinters to be found. “Don’t you stall out on me now!” 

Pinky smiled. Papa’s string of random gibberish and mutterings of smart inventor words he couldn’t understand was something he’d been familiar with from a young age. No matter where they lived, it was just one of those things that came with home. 

Papa huffed, untying his apron with all his tools and tossing it to the ground. “She’ll never work in time for the fair! What was I thinking?” he lamented. “It’s not too late. Maybe I can cobble something else together quickly! Yes, I’ll just take the doowhatzit out of Madeleine, combine it with the kaleidomajiggy from the old washer, and-” 

“You always say that, Papa,” Pinky said, hugging his father around the shoulders. Papa rested his hands over Pinky’s with a sigh. “Don’t worry. I believe Madeleine will work, and she’ll win you that blue ribbon and help you become an inventor for the history books! Narf! Just like Benjamin Franklin, ‘cept without all the kite-flying.” 

“You really think so?” Papa asked, his frown turning to a hopeful smile. 

“Course I do,” Pinky grinned. 

A determined look crossed Papa’s face, and he tied his apron around his waist, nearly tripping over it in the process.

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s fix ‘er up!” Papa said, laying down on a flat, low cart and pushing himself under the broken stove that made up Madeleine’s main body. “So how was your morning in town?” 

“A little birdie gave me a feather. I found a pretty stone by the pond. And I delivered the acorns to the Squirrels. Did you know Slappy used to be a part of a traveling troupe? I didn’t.” Pinky recanted his morning to Papa as tools clinked and scratched against metal. “Oh, and I guess you’ll be missing Prince Snowball’s feast tonight. They’ll have venison and wild boar there.” 

“A feast? That sounds nice. Much better than inn food,” Papa mused. As usual, only part of what Pinky said ever registered with him. “Are you going?” 

“I don’t know yet,” Pinky admitted. “Don’t get me wrong, I love a good party...but Prince Snowball is-um, what’s a good word for him?” 

“Rich? Smart? Confident?” Papa suggested. “He’s been talkin’ to you a lot lately.” 

So everyone’s noticed, even Papa who spent much of his time in the cellar that doubled as a workshop. 

“He has,” Pinky agreed. “And he says he can give me a purpose. But...I don’t know. I don’t think he’s right for me. Maybe I’m just as odd as they say I am.” 

It was the same everywhere they settled. No matter what Pinky tried to do, the whispers always followed him. He noticed strange things, he wore strange clothes, he and Papa were always strangers in towns where everyone knew each other from birth. 

Papa slid out from under Madeleine, wearing a silly helmet on his head that gave him huge, bug-like eyes. 

“My son is odd?” Papa asked in disbelief, and Pinky laughed. The helmet always made Papa look silly. “Don’t know where these folks get their ideas from…anyway, I think Madeleine’s all ready to go. Care to give her a whirl?”

“Zort! Am I!” Pinky clapped his hands together. Papa pointed to a lever, which Pinky pulled with all his might. 

Madeleine’s bells and whistles sounded, water steadily pumping through her system while steam filled her stove. Pulleys and gears turned along her sides, reaching the front. Her dials quivered until they reached the red zone, and the ax at her front swung down, scoring a deep cut in a block of firewood. The ax swung faster and faster, until one final split the firewood in half and sent one chunk flying. 

Pinky and Papa ducked, and the chunk flew over their heads and landed perfectly on a pile of firewood against the wall. 

“She works!” Pinky shouted in joy, kissing one of Madeleine’s wooden wheels. “You did it, Papa!” 

“I did?” Papa murmured. “I did! 265th time’s the charm, Pinky! Look out fair, I’m on my way!” 

o-o-o-o-o

Within the hour, Madeleine was wheeled out from the workshop, covered and tied up with a tarp, and hitched to Pharfignewton. 

“Bye, Fig,” Pinky said, hugging his beloved horse’s muzzle. “Keep Papa on track to the fair, okay? You know how he likes taking shortcuts.” 

Pharfignewton whinnied gently, planting a sloppy kiss on top of Pinky’s head.

Then Pinky embraced Papa, who returned the hug with the same enthusiasm. And he was reminded of how the mouse and horse he considered his home would be leaving for some time. He wished he could go with them, but someone had to keep house and he was the best one for the job. It wouldn’t be for long, but he’d miss them all the same. 

A stray tear dropped. Just another reason he was considered odd. He cried so easily. 

“Chin up, Pinky,” Papa murmured, rubbing a soothing circle into Pinky’s back. “I’ll win that blue ribbon along with the prize money, and we’ll begin our lives anew within the week.”  

Through his tears, Pinky gave him a wobbly smile. Then he helped Papa onto Pharfignewton’s back. 

“Take care!” Pinky called as Papa flicked the reins, and Pharfignewton trotted off at a steady pace, dragging Madeleine behind her. He watched them from atop the highest hill in the meadow, as they went further down the well-worn trail that merchants used for their travels. 

Then they were nothing but specks in the distance, swallowed by the thick, twisted branches of the forest. It was an unusual forest, one where the trees lost their leaves in early autumn, making the trees look scarier than they actually were for half the year. 

With nothing else to do outside, Pinky went back into the empty cottage. He’d had three years to become familiar with this house, full of odds and ends from Papa’s inventions alongside their meager belongings. 

Mama’s cloak hung from a place of honor on a coat rack by the door, one of the few belongings Pinky could take along no matter where they lived. 

Hours passed, and Pinky already missed the banging and exploding and sputtering of Papa’s inventions. It was just too quiet without them. 

He cleaned the red feather and pretty stone, then added them to his collection. Feathers and rocks didn’t take up a lot of room, and like Mama’s cloak, they could easily be taken to new places as well. He was just very careful not to lose them. 

The wagon was tucked away by the door, and the small bag of money was tucked inside a flower pot. It was how Papa always stored money, and Pinky had picked up the habit. 

There wasn’t much to do. He’d cleaned the cottage several days ago, cellar notwithstanding. That was Papa’s territory, and he always had trouble finding tools when Pinky put them away.

Suppertime approached. 

He could either cook dinner or go to the feast. 

Didn’t matter what he chose. He would be lonely either way. 

A sharp rap on the door startled him out of his thoughts. How strange. People only knocked at this time when there was an emergency. 

“Sorry for taking so long. I wasn’t expecting-” Pinky opened the door, and he immediately stood face-to-face with Prince Snowball. They were so close that their noses nearly touched. “-to see you here, Snowball. Um, this is a surprise. Poit.” 

Snowball’s pink eyes narrowed in annoyance, and Pinky remembered that Snowball preferred to be addressed with his full title. “Yes, it’s not often that someone of my standing chooses to grace a peasant’s home with their presence.”   

Behind Snowball, there was an entourage of townsfolk. Many wore their Sunday best, which was still quite cheap compared to the royal finery that Snowball bore. A fine red coat, a decorative golden cape slung over one shoulder, and white dress pants. A shiny crown embedded with rubies and emeralds sat atop his head. 

“I thought you were all at the tavern for the feast,” Pinky admitted. 

Snowball laughed, but it was a joyless laugh. He stepped across the threshold without being invited in. 

“Why, Pinky. Your hovel is positively primeval,” Snowball said, wrinkling his nose in disdain. He tugged Mama’s cloak off its hook, stared at it for a moment, then carelessly tossed it behind him. “If this is how you live, then it’s a truly auspicious time for me to come and offer you an opportunity out of this squalor.” 

Before Pinky could ask what auspicious was, though he figured it had something to do with Austria, Snowball harshly dug his fingers into Pinky’s shoulders. Pinky tried to pry them off, but the fingers just burrowed further into the fabric of his dress. 

“Not to worry, dear Pinky,” Snowball said. “Today is the day all your dreams come true.” 

“You mean my dream to find a home and a porpoise? Because I don’t know if we have enough money to live by the ocean. Beachside properties get very pricey, you know,” Pinky asked. 

Snowball waved off that concern. “You forget that finances are of no consequence for me. But I digress. For now, allow me to plant the image of a wonderful future in your vacant mind.” 

“Okay, but I don’t know how you’re gonna water it,” Pinky said. 

“Picture this,” Snowball demanded, leading Pinky around the cottage. “A magnificent castle. Two golden thrones, mine higher than the queen’s of course. A few summer homes to expand my sphere of influence. A court of other royals, lesser nobles, while the servants do all the menial work around the fires and kitchen. We’ll have...oh, six or seven.”     

“Servants?” Pinky grinned nervously as Snowball leaned in with a chuckle. 

“Castles, Pinky. How else would I showcase my power?” Snowball corrected. “And the townsfolk shall become our servants. It will save me the trouble of setting up a hiring process anyway. Besides, you’d appreciate having familiar faces around. Less of an adjustment period.” 

Pinky freed himself from Snowball’s grip. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“Of course you don’t,” Snowball shrugged. “But in simplest terms, I require a queen. One who is good at smiling, waving, and entertainment.” 

Wouldn’t that person become a princess rather than a queen though? 

Snowball must’ve seen the question coming. He paused in front of the mirror to adjust his crown. 

“There is but one title higher than a prince, Pinky,” Snowball said once he was finished. “In order to qualify for the kingship, it’s required of me to marry first. And do you know who that queen will be?” 

“Elizabeth? Victoria?” Pinky wilted under Snowball’s intense stare. “Um...Cleopatra, final answer?” 

Snowball shook his head. “It will be you, Pinky.” 

A queen? He’d always just been the inventor’s son. An outcast no matter where he lived. How could he possibly be a queen? 

“That’s a very generous offer, Snowball,” Pinky said, once he finally found his words again. 

“Isn’t it, though?” Snowball said smugly. “You and your father will live in an extravagant new home as you perform your queenly duties, and I will be forever hailed as King Snowball. Both of us shall benefit.”

Maybe he and Papa could live in better conditions. Maybe they didn’t have to move around anymore. Maybe they could afford shoes for Pharfignewton. But at the same time…it wouldn’t be right. 

It wouldn’t be home. 

Smiling, waving, entertaining. Was that all he was good for? Was that all Snowball thought he could do? 

“I thought...marriage was for love,” Pinky said softly. “That’s what Papa always said.” 

Snowball rolled his eyes. “It’s a political marriage. It doesn’t have to be built on love.” 

Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.

It was one of the earliest morals Pinky had learned. 

Wish for a home, only for it to be a castle. Wish for a purpose, and it’s to be married without love as a foundation. 

“Snowball...I’m speechless,” Pinky said, backing out the front door. He nearly tripped over the welcome mat, but regained his footing. “I...I really don’t know what to say.” 

Not even a narf would help him out of this situation. 

“Say that you’ll marry me, Pinky,” Snowball replied, and he stalked toward Pinky like a cunning predator, backing him against the edge of the porch. “And after you say yes, I will announce our engagement to the rest of ACME Village at the feast. Attendance is mandatory for a reason.” 

“I’m really, really sorry, Snowball,” Pinky said. He’d backed up too far, and the heels of his feet dangled precariously over the edge. Instincts kicking in, Pinky grabbed Snowball’s shoulder to pull himself to safety, though he underestimated his strength. Snowball yelped as he was pulled over the edge, falling into the mud puddle by the staircase. 

Oops.  

“Sorry, Snowball! But I just don’t deserve you,” Pinky admitted. 

The mud-covered crown slipped around Snowball’s head, covering his eyes until he took it off with an annoyed grunt. 

Pinky slipped back into the house, grabbed a small towel, and handed it to one of Snowball’s men. 

Claude, if he remembered right. 

“He can have that one,” Pinky told Claude, who gingerly took the towel like it was a fragile item. 

Snowball crawled out of the mud, his royal clothing covered in gunk and sticks. He stomped out of the mud, hands clenching against his sides. 

Snowball’s brow lowered, his pink eyes hidden in humiliation and a quiet, seething fury. 

Slowly, Pinky retreated into the cottage and hid behind the door. There was something about that look that terrified him. And it wasn’t the fun kind of fear, either. 

“You will consider my offer, Pinky. Make no mistake about that,” Snowball spat, his scrutinizing gaze directly on Pinky, despite the door between them. “Claude, quit being daft and hand me that towel already!” 

Pinky waited in the cottage until he could no longer hear their voices or footsteps. They must’ve gone back to the tavern for the feast. 

He didn’t feel hungry though. Snowball’s proposal left a sour taste in his mouth, like he’d just sucked on a lemon.

“He asked me to marry him,” Pinky said to his mother’s cloak, which was still crumpled on the floor. He gently picked it up, brushed off the wrinkles, and put it on. The fabric was warm against his back, like being wrapped in a ginormous embrace. “But he doesn’t love me. Narf! You can’t have a marriage without love!” 

He thought of all the married couples he knew in ACME Village. The baker couple, who were constantly at each other’s throats. Gerard the butcher was always making googly eyes at any woman who bought cuts of meat, much to his wife’s frustration. There was the stressed lady who had to drag her six kids around town while her husband played cards and darts at the tavern.

And Pinky thought of his parents. His mother had fallen in love with his father’s inventive streak when she was the daughter of a town official and Papa was just the crazy mouse whose inventions blew up a lot. 

He tied the cloak tighter around himself. Unable to take the silence of the cottage and the stifling influence of the village much longer, he allowed his feet to carry him out of the cottage and to wherever they wanted to go. 

He sprinted into the unknown. He wouldn’t be afraid of whatever he found there. The autumn wind blew golden, red, and brown leaves in whichever direction it wished as Pinky climbed the highest hill in the gorgeous flower-filled meadow. 

The peak of the hill was his favorite spot, and he was surprised that nobody else came out here to enjoy the view with him. Trees lost their colorful leaves so they could sleep for the winter, the river splashed and babbled along its banks, and proud mountains with mysterious cloud-covered peaks rose high above the landscape.

What laid beyond villages and towns, he didn’t know. 

There was something in that great wide somewhere for him. Just a feeling, an inkling, a hunch. 

But could he truly go exploring it when his home was here? 

Maybe he could convince Papa. Somehow. When Papa came back with the prize money, they could fit Pharfignewton with her shoes and they could all explore together! 

Staring into the autumn landscape, Pinky sank to his knees, careful not to squish the daisies and dandelions around him. 

Maybe that was home, but…

He didn’t know what he wanted to do with his life. Would he ever figure that out? 

He loved Papa, but he couldn’t really talk to him. And Slappy had her hands full with such an energetic nephew. Pinky didn’t want to impose. Everyone in the village gossiped about him, like he couldn’t understand. 

But he did. 

And it hurt. 

“Would be nice to talk to someone. Anyone, really,” he whispered, and he blew on a cluster of dandelion puffs. His wish scattered along the wind.

Pinky picked up more dandelion puffs. If he blew more around, maybe his wish would come true. And dandelion flowers were very pretty. 

Maybe they were considered weeds, but how could anyone call such a sunshine-y yellow flower a pest? He didn’t get it.

Then a distant, familiar neigh caught him off-guard. 

Pinky thumped his hand against his ear. Maybe he was missing Pharfignewton so much that he heard her voice? 

But he’d recognize her magnificent white coat and spirited blue eyes anywhere. 

“Easy, Pharfignewton! It’s okay!” Pinky cried. He scrambled up Pharfignewton’s leg, avoided her flailing hoof, and held onto her muzzle as she bucked and reared in sheer panic. “Shhh, it’s okay. You’re okay…” 

Pharfignewton quieted down, her frantic neighs melting into soft, worried nickers as Pinky stroked her nose. She stopped kicking, though she was wide-eyed with fear. 

Madeleine wasn’t hitched to Pharfignewton. Nor was she wasn’t the only one missing…

And Pinky suddenly understood his horse’s panic. 

“Pharfignewton, where’s Papa?” Pinky asked. “Is he okay? How did you get separated? Did he try another shortcut when I told him not to do it?”  

Pharfignewton’s hooves shuffled, and Pinky forced himself to take a deep breath. He was scaring her with all these questions, so he nuzzled her between the eyes in apology. Still, his heart raced with panic. 

From the top of the hill, he saw thick, gray clouds rolling in from the mountains. The temperature was dropping fast. 

An early winter would be upon them. They had to find Papa quickly. 

“Please, Pharfignewton. We’ve gotta find him,” Pinky pleaded. 

She whinnied in agreement, and galloped into the strange forest with all its dangerous, twisted branches before Pinky had a chance to settle in his usual spot at the base of her neck. 

Don’t worry, Papa. I’m on my way. 

End AN: Well, this is beast is complete (no pun intended). 

Yeah, poor Pinky’s usual charm doesn’t really work here. Poor mouse. 

Slappy is fun to write, not gonna lie. Love her cartoony antics. She’s also led quite the interesting life in this AU. 

The reason Snowball didn’t show up sooner was because I wasn’t sure how to tweak the proposal scene to fit. Cause for one thing, Snowball is way smarter than Gaston, but just as arrogant to boot. So I changed Snowball’s motivation into marrying Pinky because it will help him gain a higher title than a prince. He doesn’t actually love Pinky in this AU, but he’s very annoyed at him for that stunt with the mud puddle (though it’s accidental on Pinky’s part rather than intentional like Belle’s). 

The reason Snowball doesn’t go seeking a princess’s hand to gain the kingship is cause he tried that already. It was Billie of a nearby kingdom. It didn’t go well. 

Also yes the village is named ACME Village because I’m lazy and can’t come up with anything better.