#assignment on decision making
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I have finished The Angst Versionā¢~ (of chapter 50 of The Harrowing by @chthonion >:D) The bonus chapter added some stuff/re-inspired me, which is all to the good imo~ gotta get that Maximum Angst Factor AMMIRIGHT?? >:D (also. Mostly paraphrasing stuff just so you're aware~)


Then we got some of the conversation~ (without dialogue, 'cause a picture tells a thousand words~ >:D)



Then a sketch that was completely inspired by the bonus chapter-

It's not as 'polished' as the other ones, I just had thoughts about that tidbit and decided I absolutely had to mention it- so it got a drawing to match. :D
And finally, because I don't want to end this on too depressing a note-


:')
I'm not crying, you are.
My personal favourites include Extra Angry Maedhros + hands over the face Annatar, - then- actually. y'know what? I can't pick favourites. I like them all too much to do that. But that was the 'segment' that I experimented on - to try and convey the emotions through how chaotic/forceful the lines were, and it worked exactly how I wanted it to. Which is very satisfying.
>:D
(also, I don't think Maedhros was quite that visibly angry in the actual chapter, but it's supposed to be a mix of that plus Annatar's perception of him/what made Annatar panic. Make of that what you will. Eheh. Eheh. Eheh. >:D)
#the harrowing#ANGST#MWAHAHAHAHAHA#*ahem.#The silmarillion#maedhros#annatar#fingon#sauron#SUFFERING#Fun fact. I listened to All the sad songs in the arcane season 2 soundtrack on repeat while making this#For the Vibes~ >:D#stuff like this is why I don't typically draw in public#because y'see.... the secret to drawing good expressions~#is to make said expressions while you're doing it. >:D#Or should I say-#I kinda do that when I draw without realising it a lot of the time#so I am choosing to believe it is an Artistic Skillā¢#Heh.#Anyone who saw me while I was drawing this would probably have been extremely concerned š#had to actively relax my shoulders after doing the 'Annatar practically in the fetal position' one#subconscious tensing up and all that (just stretched and yes. I can still kinda feel it š)#though typically once I realise I'm doing it then I will exaggerate it so I can 'feel' the pose I'm trying to draw#I really like the 'dripping' effect I did on maedhros tbh#it was kind of a last minute 'I have space that needs filling' decision#and it worked better than I thought it would#Finished all of these (apart from the first two) today#cause I know myself well enough to know I would get majorly distracted if I didn't.#And I have a LOT of assignments to get through this week š
#(this was kind of procrastinating but like. I am not studying on a sunday unless I absolutely HAVE TO)
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My thoughts on how kazuma sees ryuunosuke
#dgs spoilers#tgaa spoilers#when ryuunosuke asks kazuma āis this why you insisted i be here? so i can see you like thisā#my brain turns yo jelly because god damn i love tjis game#the way ryuu grows during the games in a way kazuma only gets to see the aftermath of#anyways i hope yall like it#i actually got ahead on my assignments so i wanted to post this#kinda had to make a big life decision today so no soundtrack better than āa prosecutor rebornā#dgs2#dgs fanart#ryuunosuke naruhodou#tgaa fanart
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I need to talk more about Sophie my good friend Sophie God's most tormented autism warrior Sophie. wa
#[.txt]#I think she plays down the fact that she sees Adam as her son a lot because. well aside from the fact he's an android also because she's /#/a bit emotionally stunted in that way. Not repressed but she struggles with expressing affection without ten layers of jokes around it#that and she doesn't want her co-workerz to think she's more out of place than they already think#Sophie doesnāt have a lot of friends. Essentially#also I am making the executive decision that she transitioned in her late 20s/early 30s so after she was even assigned the Adam project#she had her unpaid intern era at the same time as her realising the genders. rough twenties all together#[.oc]#Sophie
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Some cursed randomly generated fanchildren featuring retainers + generals, and MC + generals
#love and legends#not tagging all of the characters#fanchildren#art#i've basically made a randomiser that assigns a feature to one character or the other or a combination of both#plus random genders#then heights colouration and hair texture is based on a distribution between the two bases#it's fun randomising this sort of thing because i wouldn't make some of these decisions#and i'm trying to avoid making everything a middle ground or one or the other
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(screenshots via cap-that.com) (my other trop memes) (my other trop edits)
...okay so I had *very* different plans about what to post today (well, kinda. You'll see what I mean eventually), but considering how many people enjoyed the "Adar in glasses" edit from yesterday, I got *inspired*. Have some food, you lovely people! <3 Which one's your fave?
#this is giving me āstrangely hot goth professor does *not* buy your excuse for not having completed your assignment on timeā#but also ādad disappointed is in all of his children's life decisions ever gives a very long lecture at the breakfast tableā#aaand āskeptical and stressed librarian very sternly explains the library rules to a first-time visitorā#i am still amazed that the initial post got such a big (and enthusiastic) reaction I just thought ppl would think the concept was funny XD#ty everyone I hope you enjoy this post as well <3#also yes the glasses change size between pics. I was in a bit of a rush to make them. ^_^' Plus I wanted to try different sizes as well.#adar in glasses#adar#adar trop#adar the rings of power#trop#the rings of power#meme#trop meme#humor#trop crack#my trop memes#my trop edits#mine#edit#digital collage#collage#photo manip#photomanipulation
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I AM THE DEVIL ON YOUR LEFT SHOULDER!!!
#WHISPERS INTO YOU EAR TO MAKE BAD DECISIONS#āHey let's not do that assignment due on Mondayā#MUAHAHAHAHA#Quotes by Creeper
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been really into fishges lately......... trying to get better at painting also :3c
#working on this painting for an assignment rn that might actually be the death of me#decided to do a) funky perspective b) have hands as a major focal point c) spent like 2 weeks planning it out cause I am incapable of-#making decisions ever and d) kinda hate how it looks so far#so now I'm behind in my art class of all things :D#it ok though i'll learn stuff!!!!!!! all that junk!!!!!! I will learn and grow!!!!!!!#also been kinda inactive oops going through it and too busy anymore for most things that bring me joy#including :( my beloved ocs :( sniffle#anyway ramblings and complainings of a madman over now FISHES YAY HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH THESE ^_^#squirrel art#fishes#aquatic life#artists of Tumblr#traditional art
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Sketchbook doodles with zero context, because my mind has been all over the place and he keeps inserting himself during my low moments to be a distraction. Or maybe Iām the clingy one in this scenario? I donāt know whoās to blame but clearly one of us is attention seeking and the other is desperate for human connection. A recipe for disaster probably /j

Bonus unhinged one which will not be disclosed further lmao
#he gets more and more out of character as the days go by :ā)#think itās because my variation of Puzzles (in the self-insert segments of the sketchbook at least) is consciously aware of his role#the role I assigned him as my ācomfort characterā impacts how he attempts to act around me#I wouldnāt say heās going along with it as some elaborate act but it is almost as though heās filtering himself more?#making conscious decisions to respond differently then his canonical counterpart for my benefit#like he wants to do a good job at fulfilling this designed ācomfort characterā positionābut heās never acted the part before#Puzzles is used to doing things solo and not putting the care into being good for the sake of someone else#so a lot of his words or actions feel off or forced because heās unsure how to go about it#ācomfort characterā is out of his comfort zone but heās willing to try and do whatever it takes to prove he can be good at it#ā¦.does this justification make any sense idk š¤·#whatever itās indulgent sillies of course itās going to be weird pfff#my take is that Iāve abducted him into my brain and formed this strong attachment to his character#he doesnāt know what queerplatonic is (or basic friendship for that matter) and is improving random shit hoping it helps me feel better lmao#ladies and gentlemen this is a man who was NEVER designed to be a comfort character and yet here we are (send help)#heās trying oh so hard and always cringe failing#except those moments when I vent to his character and he gives semi-helpful responses because he gets in his head a lot too#we are both creatives with so much ambition and no clear direction because of all those self-imposed doubts or expectations#think heās allowed himself to share that vulnerable common ground with me#ā¦and also because as long as Iām obsessing over him heāll get more animations & fanart LOL#so why not settle being a comfort character for a while if it means he gets my free labor jskjsksp#guys is this getting too meta and introspective help#doodles#sketches
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ARCANE S2 SPOILER WARNING!!!
literally crazy that caitlyn beat vi with the barrel of a shotgun, left her for dead, started attacking zaunites and imprisoning them without any kind of trial, and used tear gas to suffocate people but somehow people make maddie the villain because sheās in the way of their ship
#MADDIE IS LITERALLY THE ONLY PERSON STICKING UP FOR ZAUN#SHE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT CAITLYN#not that vi doesnāt care about caitlyn#but i can never forgive her for doing that to vi#caitlyn isnāt an idiot sheās a consenting adult and she can make her own decisions#if she chose to rebound on maddie then sheās just as much to blame if youāre going to assign it to someone#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#maddie nolen
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*takes deep breath* CHARACTERS aren't 'morally grey' their DECISIONS are
#fandom commentary#fandom#literary analysis#fandom stop thinking like calvinists challenge 2k25#there's this weird way of talking about character morality as though 'morally grey' is some sort of personality trait#and an unalterable one at that#like characters are assigned moral greyness at birth and are morally grey whatever the fuck that means#for their whole lives#instead of you know being flawed because all people are flawed#and making both good and bad and moral and immoral decisions#as we all do#or holding principles that are good or bad and then inevitably falling short at least a little#or like trying to Make up for earlier bad decisions--going from bad principles to good ones#doesn't make you this weird morally grey thing#it makes you someone now trying to be a good person....
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i think it's important that kit appears to straight up not know how to have a genuine conversation with someone. and a lot of that has to do with how he was raised, isolated with nobody really asking for his input or opinions, but for most of tda even when he's speaking to somebody he's rarely actually sharing his thoughts. and on top of that he's SUCH a people pleasing character, like beyond the initial snark he pretty much goes along with whatever people want or expect from him just for their attention or to make them happy. and on top of THAT, i think that tda is probably his first experience as like... a person among equals? i don't think it really occurs to him that the things he does or doesn't do impact other people because that's never been the case before, and obviously it leads to disaster but like i think he still just does not understand that his decisions affect people because he feels irrelevant and out of place among them. he can't feel accountable for the ways his choices affect other people because he just does not understand that he has the ability to affect people at all.
and like on ty's side i think even before the resurrection attempt he's very given to self blame, like when livvy gets hurt at the shadow market and he immediately blames himself for the injury. he feels an immense amount of responsibility to both livvy and to the rest of his family, and so many of his actions post-tda are rooted in this idea that he needs to do penance for the failed spell. (and here i'm also going to blame magnus a little for being really unnecessarily harsh at the end of tda when from everything preceding kit is literally just fleeing the country out of embarrassment and not really anger.) but he doesn't blame kit for lying to him or randomly dropping a love confession at him at possibly THE most inopportune time, he immediately put that back on himself and blames himself for being the reason kit left. there's also a lot to be said here about processing the world as an autistic person among an insular society of people who don't have the vocabulary or information to help you even when they want and try to, and how that affects the way you see your relationships with other people. ty doesn't blame kit for lying or running away because it does not occur to him that the fault lies with anyone but himself.
(also now i'm going to blame ragnor a LOT because listen if i was a 15 year old and traumatically lost someone i cared about i would probably not be making A+ decisions either but this man is a whole adult and also said not one word to anybody in a position to stop them or at least keep an eye on them)
so like at the end of the day i feel like so much of tda is about characters being so caught up in their own spirals of shame or self-doubt or pain that they don't notice what's happening to the people around them until it's already happened, and that even the people who love you will not always do it perfectly or even well, but as for these two hopefully that's the character growth we'll see in twp- kit now having a baseline of familial love, being an older brother, and finding self-worth to the point where he can hold himself accountable for the things he does and recognize his responsibility to other people, and ty growing in confidence and trusting himself enough to realize he doesn't have to punish himself or shoulder so much blame and that he can acknowledge when other people have not done right by him.
#anyway maybe unpopular opinion but i'm actually glad they're apart right now because i think they needed it#in my opinion if i'm assigning blame to this situation about 90% of it goes to ragnor#for enabling this and hoping that the traumatized 15 year olds decide to make wise choices by themselves#but also i hope kit is realizing he isnt 'nothing' and that his choices affect other people#and that ty is realizing that he doesnt have to atone for like just wanting his sister back and kit's decisions#the wicked powers#twp#kit herondale#ty blackthorn
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I know it's been said a million times that Shepard's background should have more of a weight to things, but Shepard's background absolutely should have more of a weight to things especially the ruthless background
#hablaty#like imagine you're a random alliance grunt who gets assigned to the normandy#and you're like ''yay I get to serve under anderson he's a legend''#but uh oh the xo is the butcher of torfan they sent their entire unit to their deaths to get the job done#(and for the record there is npc dialogue pointing to torfan being taught in schools so...)#but it's fine it's okay they're only xo they don't make decisions and anderson is great and he loves his crew and-#-aaaaand he just got forcibly retired... and now shepard is in charge... who very notably got their entire unit killed#like you're telling me no one left???#even if nothing else is done at least have fewer background npcs on the normandy#and then either joker or pressly mention that oh yeah they quit bc this is not what they signed up for#and they don't trust you to keep them safe#...idk generally speaking the way the game handles torfan so far is very weird to me#(no i have not played with this background before and i only just got liara so i'm not far)
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Sometimes I still think about The Owl House Gang all trying to watch ATLA together but then Zuko's backstory in The Storm retraumatizes Hunter so bad they have to stop
#luz is too young to have grown up with the show she just heard it was good#SHE DIDN'T KNOW GUYS#they all get super into it and the gaang and maybe even make some jokes about how Zuko reminds them of Hunter#and then suddenly it is Not Funny Anymore#they just straight up stop watching it because it was So Bad#and then months later Hunter is like '....... i really want to know where that show goes'#so they pick it up again#everytime Zuko makes a bad life decision Hunter is just dying inside#'your dad DOES NOT LOVE YOU YOU CAN DO BETTER'#season 2 is such an emotional rollercoaster#like zuko is figuring stuff out and seems like he's gonna redeem himself and everyone is getting so hype#because at this point they NEED to see this character get a happy ending because they have been throufh WAY TOO MUCH over him#and then in the season finale he regresses#the BETRAYAL#they are like wailing and rending their clothes like dudes in the bible#hunter just sitting there with his head in his hands#season 3 storyline with zuko at the fire palace is also massively triggering for him but he's being so normal about it#the rest of the squad on the copium like 'he can still turn this around guys'#secretly several of them have given up on him at this point but they can't admit that there's too much riding on this#and then zuko DOES IT but the scene is so tense that no one even feels like they can celebrate because they're all projecting way too hard#and then zuko redirects the lightning and they're like 'FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!'#there is much crying at the finale#luz and amity kin assigned eachother as aang and katara so they're really happy when they get together#hunter like 'mostly this is making me glad I didn't have to become the political leader of The Boiling Isles as a traumatized 16 year old'#'can you imagine'#these tags were not supposed to be this long lmao#toh#atla#avatar#my rambles
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shit I need to work on my emis equivalent exchange art
#just blahs#yes there's still like . just under a month before theyre ādueā . but also . assignments were given in mid november .#its been two and a half months and i have done nothing#eaugh āā#my person gave me a few options but boy am i bad at making decisions
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#OFFING MYSELF WHY AM I SO STUPID OMG#at my chem recitation and thereās this guy i recognize from my success course last sem but i had the feeling he didnāt like me#it was just vibes you know what i mean#typing this from the bathroom rn thereās this girl sighing next to me ugh she knows whatās up oh nvm sheās shitting i gotta go#okay iām out now so I SIT NEXT TO HIM BC I GOT ASSIGNED THERE#AND HE HANDS ME THE SIGN IN SHEET AND WEāRE ASSIGNING OURSELVES INTO TWO TEAMS#he wrote his name and i thought he hated me so i put my name in the other team. guess what i was supposed to do. not that#so we had to erase EVERYONEāS NAMES bc of ME and he was so nice about it ššššš#i talk really quiet and he couldnāt hear me bc heās hard of hearing so he leaned in and AGAHAHG HE LOOKS LIKE HAWKS IF HE WAS A SURFER#so then i sat there feeling sorry and frazzled the whole time#weāre in the same major and everything he said heās great at bio but awful at chem and iām the opposite#so now i have to do my makeup 3/4 days of the week bc i donāt have class on fridays#i love making good decisions and having reasonable priorities#and i have to get good at bio or i will be so embarrassed#i thought men didnāt exist in my major
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time loop where multiple people are trapped in it but only one person remembers what happened in the previous loops at a time. eventually they realize it's not just what happened but also the sum total of all their thoughts had during the loops. at first they all try to ignore it out of respect but wouldn't blame the others for being curious. soon they're talking to each other across loops like it's some kinda weird group chat.
there's two options for an ending here. the tragic one, where the one to end the loop is trapped with all these thoughts from versions of their friends that no longer exist, and the other one, where the memories snap back into everyone else upon breaking the loop. the latter can still have an element of, damn, we were so close with the loop telepathy, but it's less of an outright downer
#š”// at first i was envisioning it with isat characters#but honestly this might be a fun writing exercise to just Do#i'll see if i have time.#the hard part is that it's so hard for me to come up with ocs#(and i also have so many mandatory writing assignments)#i mean. making it an in stars and time fanfic is also an option#it's not like there's anything wrong with making a fanfic#hhhhhh these decisions are why i never do anything
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