#at least in my head it is lol

[montammil]

In the Darkest Hours - Part One

CW: Lab whump (a little), multiple whumpers, inhuman whumpee, rockslide, obsessive behavior, pet whump (hinted), briefly mentioned abuse

When Liam was little, he saw one of the last ever documented Winged's ever to exist. Her wings were flame-red.

She was in a circus, but even child-him chose to ignore the bruises on her body, how every part of her except her wings were well-kept. He, and the audience, were too stunned to really pay attention. Not like they would've cared, anyway. Many people had Winged's as pets, no one was required to respect them.

The numbers dwindled down over the decades, and soon Winged's were even being poached. Masters had to keep their Winged's in closed doors at all times, and eventually the government took the last ones away.

Liam became infatuated with wanting to find more. He was sure there had to be at least one more left, but he was sure there were more than that. He was sure if he just looked and studied hard enough, he'd find something to find more and become rich. He'd even get a Winged of his own, and he hoped it'd have bright red wings, just like hers.

He started working for a private research center, surrounded by the research of all creatures that aren't human. Laws were different, there were more equal rights for others like the Horned, Scaled, and Gilled, but since there were no Winged's out there... there were no laws protecting them.

As he grew older, he grew more bitter. His obsession started to dwindle down by the time he reached thirty, and he thought he moved on, accepting that if there are any more Winged's on this planet, the chances of him getting his hands on them would be low.

Until one night, that is.

...

Alden has gotten better at hiding his wings, even if it still hurts like hell. He's managed to tuck them by his sides, and though it looks strange and unnatural, people still seem to shrug it off, considering he's done this several times.

He's glad he lives in a remote and cold area, because it gives him an excuse to bundle up and hide his wings better, and go to less-populated markets.

"Hey, Al. Haven't seen you in a while."

"Oh, hey, Em. Sorry, I've been kind of busy."

She chuckles. "I can tell. If you spend all your time in those caves, you're going to get hurt, you know."

"I'm fine."

She raises a brow but leaves it at that with a casual goodbye once he pays for his things. It's a miracle he can afford it, barely scraping by. At least he never has to worry about his medical expenses, since there's no way he'd trust any doctor with his wings. He'd get turned in, no doubt.

Alden goes to drop off his things at his cabin, and then decides some mining wouldn't hurt. He hit it big about a month ago, at least bigger than what he normally finds there. 

Since no one's ever down in the caves or the river, he decides to throw one of his jackets off. Everyone else in the town thinks he just gets cold easily, which is somewhat true, but not totally true.

He hums quietly to himself as he makes his way down the steep rocks. It's also extremely conventional he lives so close to the mining site. He grabs his helmet with a cap light from his backpack, his pickaxe and chisel, and leaves the rest of the equipment outside the cave. 

He knows where everything is, and he likes keeping his surroundings clear so no one gets hurt. He takes one of the mining lamps and lights it up, walking in further until he gets to his first spot of interest.

He sees something shiny in a small crevice of the rocks, so he picks up his pickaxe and chisel and starts hacking away at the rocks, trying to get whatever it is out of the crack. 

He has no idea what it might be, but it has to be valuable or it wouldn't be so deep in the crevice.

It's difficult work, and by the end of the day he's covered in sweat and dirt, and near what looks like the back of the cave. He decides he'll try one more location before leaving.

Just as he gets back to the close entrance of the cave, he finds one more area. He only hacks at the spot four times when he feels the whole cave start to shake. 

His head snaps up and he tries to look at what he's doing, but it's too dark, even with the light on his helmet.

Before he can rush out of the cave, the whole thing caves in and everything goes black.

...

"Dr. Schultz, you won't believe what we just found!"

"I really don't care," Liam responds bitterly, not looking up from his paperwork. "Can you shut the door on your way out, Blake? That'd greatly be appreciated--"

"It's a Winged."

That causes Liam to abruptly stop writing. His ballpoint pen falls out of his hand and onto his desk. He looks up at his assistant with wide, disbelieving eyes. "You're kidding."

Blake smiles. "No joke."

Liam quickly stands up from his desk and looks at him. "Is this real? You're sure?"

He nods. "He was recently transported here. He might be asleep for a while. Poor thing was in a cave that had collapsed."

"Show me now."

They make their way to a certain room, and Blake opens the door to room 640, where the Winged is located. He moves to open the door for Liam, but Liam shoves past him and throws open the door himself. 

He runs over to the Winged, who is currently laying on a bed with all sorts of medical equipment hooked up to him. He immediately goes to examining his wings. "Good, they don't seem injured much..." He frowns deeper at the color. "Blue. I wanted red wings."

"He's likely the last Winged alive," Blake mumbles, out of annoyance of Liam's reaction, or lack thereof. He knows a little about the slightly younger man's obsession with Wingeds, but he really thought he'd have more of a reaction at the extremely rare find, regardless of the color of wings.

Liam doesn't acknowledge him. He seems to be focusing on the Winged, taking in every detail. "Do we have any kind of file for him yet?"

"Not that I know of."

Liam continues to stare at the Winged in silence for several minutes. "I think we need to do some tests first before we do anything with him. We'll have to bring in some other doctors. Schedule an appointment with Dr. Herman for me. I have a lot of work to do."

"Yes, sir."

"Oh, and when he wakes up, notify me immediately." He doesn't wait for Blake to respond before leaving. He simply walks out the door without a goodbye, as per usual.

As soon as he's gone, Blake looks back at the sleeping Winged. He thinks the blue looks nice, shiny and almost iridescent.

History has proven Winged's are more comparable to obedient dogs than birds, given they are loyal and compliant, even if they start off stubborn and short-tempered at first.

Liam can have the Winged as his patient, but Blake wants a loyal pet. He thinks he's found the perfect candidate.

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

[hugs-and-stabbies]

The self-awareness on this guy 😞 someone pls send him an "are you bi?" quiz STAT

[tubbytarchia]

Missed drawing these two too

Bonuses

[mikonez]

Chapter 26, The Hunger Games

[hejee]

i really just wanna draw them shirtless

[biblically-accurate-dca]

substitute

[circuscountdowns]

lamby lamb lambs

[another-goblin]

A little self indulgent Wriolette

(made before 4.1 so I've got no idea what's Wrio's personality or what's their actual relationship haha)

[hansama]

I tried to sketch Papyrus in both my art style and @skull-otaku xD

[pikahlua]

MHA Chapter 423 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

tagline 1 ねじ込んだ一撃ーー‼︎ ねじこんだいちげきーー‼︎ nejikonda ichigeki--!! A single, exacting blow--!!

tagline 2 No.423　OFA vs AFO　堀越耕平 ナンバー423　ワン・フォー・オールバーサスオール・フォー・ワン　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 423  WAN FOO OORU vs OORU FOO WAN  Horikoshi Kouhei No. 423 One for All vs All for One Kouhei Horikoshi

1 何故気付けなかった なぜきづけなかった naze kidzukenakatta Why didn't I notice?

2 この窶れた"身体"に「超再生」が適用されない違和感 このやつれた"からだ"に「ちょうさいせい」がてきようされないいわかん kono yatsureta "karada" ni 「chousaisei」 ga tekiyou sarenai iwakan [This] sense of discomfort that Super Regeneration no longer applies to this worn-out body.

3 こいつだ…いやーーー koitsu da...iya--- It's this guy...no---

4 こいつらがーー‼︎ koitsura ga--!! All of these [people]--!!

5 謀ったのだ はかったのだ hakatta no da They conspired.

1 それ単体では それたんたいでは sore tantai de wa By itself

2 あまりに脆弱な"敵意" あまりにぜいじゃくな"てきい" amari ni zeijaku na "tekii" [each one's] enmity was too frail,

3 しかし撚り集まって しかしよりあつまって shikashi yori atsumatte but when they gathered together,

4 いつしか僕を覆い感受を鈍らせていたのだ いつしかぼくをおおいかんじゅをにぶらせていたのだ itsu shika boku wo ooi kanju wo niburasete ita no da before I knew it, they enshrouded me and dulled my sensitivity. (Note: He means his ability to sense one person via Danger Sense became dulled because there were too many people with enmity gathered together in one place.)

5 与一と継承者どもを打ち込まれたあの時にもう精神のみならず よいちとけいしょうしゃどもをうちこまれたあのときにもうせいしんのみならず Yoichi to keishousha-domo wo uchikomareta ano toki ni mou seishin no minarazu Yoichi and all the successors were cast [into me]. At that time, not only my spirit but

6 身体も…‼︎ からだも…‼︎ karada mo...!! my body, too...!!

7 生半可な"身体"では なまはんかな"からだ"では namahanka na "karada" de wa (literal) A half-baked body (official) Your limp-noodle body isn't ready for it.

8 受け取り切れず四肢が爆散してしまうんだ！ うけとりきれずししがばくさんしてしまうんだ！ uketori kirezu shishi ga bakusan shite shimaunda! (literal) can't receive it. Your limbs would explode! (official) Your limbs would pop right off!! (Note: This frame is from chapter 2.)

9 たった2年…！8代目より少し上乗せされた… たった2ねん…！8だいめよりすこしうわのせされた… tatta 2nen...! 8daime yori sukoshi uwanosesareta... "Only 2 years...! I only added a little more to [what it was with] 8th..." (Note: He means he only added 2 years' worth of power to OFA, a tiny amount after what it was when All Might passed it off.)

10 9人分の力の結晶だ 9にんぶんのちからのけっしょうだ 9ninbun no chikara no kesshou da "It's the crystallization of power in proportion to nine people."

1 既に"身体"も すでに"からだ"も sude ni karada mo This body also has already

2 砕かれていた事に くだかれていたことに kudakarete ita koto ni been broken, unfortunately.

3 "個性"が崩れてく… "こせい"がくずれてく… "kosei" ga kuzureteku... "His quirks are crumbling..." (Note: This is a word often used to describe the effects of Tomura's Decay.)

4 やったのか緑谷…！ やったのかみどりや…！ yatta no ka Midoriya...! "Did you do it, Midoriya...!"

1 まだだ‼︎ mada da!! Not yet!!

2 "個性"で無理矢理 "こせい"でむりやり "kosei" de muriyari With his quirks, he forcibly

3 つなぎ止めた！ つなぎとめた！ tsunagitometa! tied himself together! (Note: This word also means "to save someone's life." In this case AFO is forcibly preserving his own life by using his quirks to keep himself from falling apart.)

4 まだ何も為していない まだなにもなしていない mada nani mo nashite inai "I haven't achieved anything yet."

5 誰にも奪わせはしない…‼︎ だれにもうばわせはしない…‼︎ dare ni mo ubawase wa shinai...!! "I won't let anyone steal it away...!!"

6 僕だけが夢を為す ぼくだけがゆめをなす boku dake ga yume wo nasu "Only I will achieve my dream."

7 誰にも…！継がぬ…紡がぬ‼︎ だれにも…！つがぬ…つむがぬ‼︎ dare ni mo...! tsuganu...tsumuganu!! "No one...! [They] won't inherit it... [They] won't spin the tale*!!" (*Note: The word used here means "to spin (thread), to make up a story, to assemble, to put together.")

8 魔王は常に唯一‼︎ まおうはつねにゆいいつ‼︎ maou wa tsune ni yuiitsu!! "The Demon King is always the only one!!"

9 そうだとも繰り返せばいい… そうだともくりかえせばいい… sou da tomo kurikaeseba ii... Even if that's true, I can just do it over again...

10 愚かな弔にそうしたように‼︎ おろかなとむらにそうしたように‼︎ oroka na Tomura ni sou shita you ni!! Just like how I did to foolish Tomura!!

11 OFA無き今緑谷でも…！誰でも‼︎ ワン・フォー・オールなきいまみどりやでも…！だれでも‼︎ WAN FOO OORU naki ima Midoriya demo...! dare demo!! Even Midoriya, now that he doesn't have One For All...! Anyone!!

12 "個性"を「与え」奪えばいい‼︎ "ぼく自身"を「あたえ」うばえばいい‼︎ "boku jishin (kanji: kosei)" wo 「atae」 ubaeba ii!! I can give and take away "myself" (read as: my quirk)!!

1 器を!!! うつわを!!! utsuwa wo!!! "[I'll make] a vessel!!!"

2 もうやめろAFO もうやめろオール・フォー・ワン mou yamero OORU FOO WAN "Give it a rest, All For One."

3 緑谷‼︎ みどりや‼︎ Midoriya!! "Midoriya!!"

4 白雲…⁉︎ しらくも…⁉︎ Shirakumo...!? "Shirakumo...!?"

5 消…太 しょう…た Shou...ta "Shou...ta"

6 山…田… やま…だ… Yama...da... "Yama...da..."

7 ゴメン…ナ…… GOMEN...NA...... "I'm...sorry......"

8 行かなくては…私はーーーーー いかなくては…わたしはーーーーー ikanakute wa...watashi wa----- Have to go...I-----

1 死柄木弔を守らなくては しがらきとむらをまもらなくては Shigaraki Tomura wo mamoranakute wa I have to protect Tomura Shigaraki

2 Xあ‼︎X生‼︎ Xあ‼︎Xしょう‼︎ XA!! Xshou!! (Note: This speech bubble is partially cut off.)

3 やっぱり…‼︎どこまでも… yappari...!! doko made mo... "As expected...!! No matter what..."

4 手ぇ差し伸べちまうんだよあいつは‼︎ てぇさしのべちまうんだよあいつは‼︎ tee sashinobechimaunda yo aitsu wa!! "he's that guy who'll hold out his hand [for someone]!!"

5 A…FO… オール…フォー・ワン… OORU...FOO WAN... "All...For One..."

6 死柄…木弔を…オ返シ…下サイ しがら…きとむらを…オかえシ…くだサイ Shigara...ki Tomura wo...OkaSHI...kudaSAI "Tomura Shigara...ki...Please give...him back."

7 オッおォッ OoO "Ooo"

1 オ友達が待っテイルんデす オともだちがまっテイルんデす Otomodachi ga matTE IRUnDEsu "His friends are waiting."

1 爆豪⁉︎ ばくごう⁉︎ Bakugou!? "Bakugou!?"

2 病院にって…‼︎うっそだろあいつ！ びょういんにって…‼︎うっそだろあいつ！ byouin ni tte...!! usso daro aitsu! "They said [you were heading to] the hospital...!! That guy's unbelievable!"

3 「爆破」で一人で来やがった‼︎ 「ばくは」でひとりできやがった‼︎ 「bakuha」 de hitori de kiyagatta!! "He went and came over alone using Explosion!!"

4 轟の"ジャンプ台"貸りたけどよォ〜〜〜〜〜 とどろきの"ジャンプだい"かりたけどよォ〜〜〜〜〜 Todoroki no "JANPU dai" karita kedo yoO~~~~~ "I borrowed Todoroki's jump platform, but~~~~~"

5 俺に追い越されてンなよ出久‼︎ おれにおいこされてンなよいずく‼︎ ore ni oikosareteN na yo Izuku!! "don't let me overtake you, Izuku!!"

6 AFO…‼︎おまえを許しはしない オール・フォー・ワン…‼︎おまえをゆるしはしない OORU FOO WAN...!! omae wo yurushi wa shinai "All For One...!! I won't forgive you."

1 けれど理解できない化物だとも思わない けれどりかいできないばけものだともおもわない keredo rikai dekinai bakemono da to mo omowanai "But I don't think you're an incomprehensible monster."

2 …やめろ ...yamero "...Stop."

3 おまえは魔王なんかじゃない おまえはまおうなんかじゃない omae wa maou nanka ja nai "You are not actually a Demon King."

4 見るな みるな miruna "Don't look [at me]."

5 おまえはただの omae wa tada no "You're just"

6 寂しがりな人間だ‼︎ さみしがりなにんげんだ‼︎ samishigari na ningen da!! "a lonely person!!"

1 与一…⁉︎ よいち…⁉︎ Yoichi...!? "Yoichi...!?"

2 緑谷くんは みどりやくんは Midoriya-kun wa "Midoriya-kun"

3 限り限りのラインでカケラが残るよう ぎりぎりのラインでカケラがのこるよう girigiri no RAIN de KAKERA ga nokoru you "seems to have a fragment remain for as long as possible."

4 ぶつける力を調整したんだね…… ぶつけるちからをちょうせいしたんだね…… butsukeru chikara wo chousei shitanda ne...... "I guess he adjusted the force of his hit......"

5 そして　残り火による"感応"で叩き起こしたんだ そして　のこりびによる"かんのう"でたたきおこしたんだ soshite nokoribi ni yoru "kannou" de tataki okoshitanda Then, I was roused awake in response to his embers.

6 僅かな残滓となった僕を わずかなざんしとなったぼくを wazuka na zanshi to natta boku wo I, who became mere dregs,

7 ワン・フォー・オールを WAN FOO OORU wo One For All.

8 正しく完遂させる為に ただしくかんすいさせるために tadashiku kansui saseru tame ni In order to properly follow [things] through. (Note: The order of the lines here makes this confusing. He's saying that, in response to Izuku's final attack with his embers, the barest dregs of Yoichi's vestige was roused. This one last piece of his vestige remained likely because Izuku held back on his attack using Yoichi's vestige. Now that he, the base One For All quirk, has awoken, he will carry out the mission of One For All.)

9 どうでもいい‼︎ dou demo ii!! "I don't care!!"

10 どうでもいい‼︎ dou demo ii!! "I don't care!!"

11 消えるな‼︎顔を見せろ！ きえるな‼︎かおをみせろ！ kieruna!! kao wo misero! "Don't disappear!! Show your face!"

12 無理だよ むりだよ muri da yo "That's impossible."

13 消える きえる kieru "I'll disappear."

14 駄目だ だめだ dame da "You can't!"

15 僕のモノだ‼︎僕を見ていろ‼︎目を見せろ‼︎ ぼくのモノだ‼︎ぼくをみていろ‼︎めをみせろ‼︎ boku no MONO da!! boku wo mite iro!! me wo misero!! "You're mine!! Look at me!! Show [me] your eyes!!"

16 兄さん にいさん niisan "[Older] Brother,"

17 貴方を導けなかった あなたをみちびけなかった anata wo michibikenakatta "I couldn't guide you."

18 これは緑谷くんが見出してくれた これはみどりやくんがみいだしてくれた kore wa Midoriya-kun ga miidashite kureta "Midoriya-kun discovered this for me."

19 僕らへの最期の救済だ ぼくらへのさいごのきゅうさいだ bokura e no saigo no kyuusai da "It's our final* salvation." (*Note: The word used for "final" here means "one's last moment at their time of death.")

1 駄目だ‼︎許可しない‼︎大好きだ！ だめだ‼︎きょかしない‼︎だいすきだ！ dame da!! kyoka shinai!! daisuki da! "You can't!! I won't allow it!! I love you!"

2 大好きなんだ!!!おまえがいないと僕は駄目なんだ!!! だいすきなんだ!!!おまえがいないとぼくはだめなんだ!!! daisuki nanda!!! omae ga inai to boku wa dame nanda!!! "I love you!!! If you're gone I have no purpose*!!!" (*Note: The word used here, dame, means many things depending on context. It means "bad, no good, useless, broken, hopeless, wasted, in vain, purposeless.")

3 そうやって sou yatte "In that way,"

4 全てを己が為に利用してきた代償を払う時だ すべてをおのがためにりようしてきたツケをはらうときだ subete wo ono ga tame ni riyou shite kita TSUKE (kanji: daishou) wo harau toki da "it's time to pay reparations for taking advantage of everything for your own sake."

5-6 彼が起こしたのは僕だけじゃない かれがおこしたのはぼくだけじゃない kare ga okoshita no wa boku dake ja nai "I was not the only one he awoke."

1 先生に喰われて消滅したと思ったんだけどな… せんせいにくわれてしょうめつしたとおもったんだけどな… sensei ni kuwarete shoumetsu shita to omottanda kedo na... I thought I had been devoured by Master and disappeared, but...

2 あんたが俺を あんたがおれを anta ga ore wo were you

3 消えないように繋ぎ止めてたのか きえないようにつなぎとめてたのか kienai you ni tsunagi tometeta no ka tying* me down so I wouldn't disappear? (*Note: Again, this word also means "to save someone's life.")

4 おばあちゃん obaachan Grandma,

5 黒霧…………… くろぎり…………… Kurogiri............... Kurogiri...............

6 先生から身体を奪い返しただけで せんせいからからだをうばいかえしただけで sensei kara karada wo ubai kaeshita dake de I only stole my body back from Master, and

7 何も壊せやしなかった なにもこわせやしなかった nani mo kowase ya shinakatta I didn't destroy anything.

8 結局俺はおまえの言った通り…泣いてるガキだったって事か けっきょくおれはおまえのいったとおり…ないてるガキだったってことか kekkyoku ore wa omae no itta toori...naiteru GAKI datta tte koto ka "In the end, I was just as you said... A crying kid, huh?"

9 この手をX壊せなかったX このてをXこわせなかったX kono te wo X kowasenakatta X "This hand X couldn't break X"." (Note: Some of this speech bubble is cut off. It could say something like "I couldn't break these hands of yours.")

10 …やった事を許せはしないだから戦った …やったことをゆるせはしないだからたたかった ...yatta koto wo yuruse wa shinai da kara tatakatta "...I can't forgive the things you've done; that's why I fought."

1 止めたかったし…止まってほしかったんだ とめたかったし…とまってほしかったんだ tometakatta shi...tomatte hoshikattanda "I wanted to stop [you]... I wanted [you] to stop,"

2 悲しみが紡がれないように かなしみがつむがれないように kanashimi ga tsumugarenai you ni "so that the sadness wouldn't [keep] spin[ning]*." (*Note: This is back to that word that means "to spin yarn, to spin tales, etc." Izuku is saying he didn't want the sadness to beget more sadness. He wants the chain of sadness to stop.)

3 ハッ HA "Ha." (Note: This is an exhalation that could mean any number of things, like shock, laughter, realization, etc.)

4 緑谷出久 みどりやいずく Midoriya Izuku "Izuku Midoriya,"

5 スピナーが生きてたら伝えてくれよ スピナーがいきてたらつたえてくれよ SUPINAA ga ikitetara tsutaete kure yo "if Spinner is alive, please tell him [something]."

6 "死柄木弔"は最期まで壊す為に戦ったって "しがらきとむら"はさいごまでこわすためにたたかったって "Shigaraki Tomura" wa saigo made kowasu tame ni tatakatta tte "Tomura Shigaraki fought until the very end* in order to destroy." (*Note: Again, this is that "finale" word that means "one's last moment at their time of death.")

7 もう…壊したよ もう…こわしたよ mou...kowashita yo "You already...destroyed [it]."

tagline 決着‼︎永きにわたる因縁が晴れ上がるーー‼︎ けっちゃく‼︎ながきにわたるいんねんがはれあがるーー‼︎ kecchaku!! nagaki ni wataru innen ga hareagaru--!! Settled!! The chain of cause and effect that spans a long time is cleared up--!!

[cheeseburger443]

🎣 ...

[caiabresebun]

happy birthday baby boy

[echosong971]

The Petrification Disease is a nasty thing...

[scoobit9]

Huge fucking Jooster dump you know the drill

[vaguely-concerned]

another really interesting thing in our man bashir to me is that I think this is the point where garak finally mostly relinquishes his self-appointed role as bashir's teacher. he seems to have taken it upon himself early on, for inscrutable but probably partially horny, partially cultivating a promising (and lovely) contact reasons of his own, to imbue julian bashir with some spysmarts and basic bastard thinking literacy skills, in the hopes that he won't go get his bright beautiful excitable ass killed at the first opportunity. there's a lot of mentor/protege undertone there in the early years. (if you want to get into asit stuff, very much in the same vein as palandine and garak's relationship in the beginning.)

but in omb garak really only has one of his little lectures, and it's basically about The thing about being a spy (and a person) that has most shaped his life: That's something else you've yet to learn, Doctor. A real intelligence agent has no ego, no conscience, no remorse. Only a sense of professionalism. There is no joy, no magic, no real delight to this, no winning, no recognition, and most importantly no connection; the reward for work well done is only ever the work itself. You don’t kiss the girl, get the key — you simply get on with turning yourself into nothing as best you can. and julian, who had just been trying to momentarily imagine a world where secrets can be cool and glamorous and for good, meaningful reasons that empower him to help the world rather than shameful and isolating and alienating and like a damocles sword hanging over him and everything he cares about, shoots back with 'well, but what if not that, though? that's the whole point of this game! this is my story not yours, trust me to know it better than you do. (I have more things to teach you too, if you’d just listen. And once he gets shot a little bit, garak does listen.)'

(somewhere beneath all this is almost exactly the same debate they will have explicitly later on -- "Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all"/"If that's true, that's one lesson I never want to learn". Something something the freedom to imagine and play around with different worlds in your head, no matter how cringefail james bond LARP nonsense that world is as long as it brings you hope and joy and new perspectives, kill the part of you that cringes etc. Garak you're allowed to get out of the closet in your head now, Tain is gone, you can imagine different things than what has been and no one will turn it against you. Im… sad)

through most of this episode garak is observing, and when he's not simply bitching about everything from the sidelines (<3), he's tentatively trying to throw in comments to play along, to figure out how the flow goes like he's learning a different language, and he's BAD at it hahaha. he barged in there to put himself in a position to learn something about julian bashir's ~*hidden inner psyche*~, but UH-OH spiritual uno reverse card time he's having to face some shit about his own psyche and the immense barrenness it's been forced to operate under for so long.

The learning between them has of course always been two-way (that’s partially what the whole relationship is built on), but in giving up the more ‘formal’ role — mask — of teacher, garak is also opening up space for realer emotional intimacy, letting one layer of artificiality fall and allowing more realness to shine through. even so he doesn’t let go of control completely until he’s faced with irrefutable (horny) proof that julian’s sentiments and ideals are backed by real conviction — julian knows (possibly better than garak does) what is a game, and what is real, and where he draws the line between frivolous and deeply necessary is different from where garak would and by the end of the ep I think garak trusts julian more, enough to leave the story in julian’s hands without trying to steer or form him even indirectly/sneakily. And to top it all off, the way julian uses his last dramatic speech to signal that he did also listen to what garak told him… augh.  

the teacher role, along with the lies (ever his swiss army knife god bless), has helped garak keep a sort of fine-tuned control of the level of emotional intimacy possible between them, stay in control of what narratives are even on the table. and I think finally letting that fade more into the background transforms their relationship in ways that can pay off big time down the line, for all that it leaves things a bit strange and tentative in the meantime. by garak standards he’s being positively transparent in this episode. for the first time he talks about his time in the order without any coy prevarication, he states his hunger for knowing julian better right down to his ~*hidden inner psyche*~ almost pathetically openly (<3<3<3<3). And this is just my headcanon and definitely not what was meant at the time of airing, the unplanned nature of the augment reveal being what it is, but in context of the whole show as it became it feels a lot like garak offering some of his own authenticity to signal that julian could trust him with his. It feels like garak has figured out at least the rough outlines of what julian has uh got going on and tried to make this gambit, having… perhaps underestimated the extent of the defenses julian has internally/psychologically against Being Known, quite aside from the practical real world consequences of his secret getting out. Anyway. Lots in this episode. Many thoughts.