been sick for so long and all i need is abby to take care of me like the good girlfriend that she is !!! also look at her lil smile im acc deceased nobody speak to me ever again
16+, modern!au, sfw, throwing up (r!), this is short and ass
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do not even THINK about lying to this girl about your sickness… she will not buy a single second of it.
"abby i promise you i'm-" sneeze, "fine..." is there even any point trying to defend your case any longer when abby is looking at you like an unimpressed, disappointed mother with her hands on her hips?
she's already called issac to tell him that she isn't going to be in work until you're better. he tried to refuse and order her to come in, but abby didn't back down and stood her ground until he eventually backed off because nobody is more important than her girl!!
she quite literally cannot leave you alone, always rushing whenever she has to leave your side just in case you need her (she definitely trips and eats shit on the stairs because she was trying to get back to your room a lil too fast)
laying on her chest!!! her big arms wrapped around you and holding you close, kisses being peppered atop your head whenever she enters a cutscene in whatever game she's playing because you begged her to let you watch her play. it took a little convincing because abby just wants you to sleep and get the rest you need, but the second you flashed her those sad puppy dog eyes she was handing you the controller to let you pick out a game for her to play.
this girl always has tissues on her, stuffing her pockets full of them so she's ready for whenever you need them
i can just picture you making those funny noises people do before sneezing and abby practically TELEPORTING to you and shoving a scrunched up tissue in your face. she would be so proud of herself too and just look at you like "did i help? :D" yes you did sweetie you did such a good job!!!
you can’t convince that this girl doesn’t make the best grilled cheese and homemade tomato soup known to mankind, it’s always her go to when you’re sick (not that you’re complaining because it’s INCREDIBLE)
not being able to sleep because you can’t breathe and you’re just in so much pain, so abby lays awake with you until you eventually fall asleep :( unless she knows you’re okay and asleep she physically cannot fall asleep, her mind won’t let her.
abby for sure keeps a bucket on her side of the bed for in the middle of the night (she doesn’t want you trying to reach for it and accidentally falling and hurting yourself)
abby is jolted awake almost immediately once you yourself wake up with a startle, shooting up into a sitting position as your hands fly to your mouth. she’s springing into action without even realising it, reaching down as quickly as possible to snatch the bucket and place it into your lap. “in the bucket baby, good girl there you go” she mumbles in that raspy sleep voice, one of her hands keeping a hold of the bucket in case you can’t while her free hand moves up to hold back your hair.
abby running you a bath with all of your favourite essentials lined up ready for you (need that). oh and she is 1000000% washing your hair and body for you, she can’t have her baby tiring herself out now can she?
even when you start to feel better she’s still just as attentive, you assure her that she can stop and just take a break but abby just continues whatever she was doing like she literally can’t hear you LMAO
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a/n: i’m genuinely so sorry this is so bad 😭 im still sick and barely had the energy to write this but i just wanted to post something SO bad. hope you’re all having a good day/night !! <3
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i think even though cas was in there stealing the journal, i think he was trying to legitimately convince dean to come to his side, because he does it the Very next episode (although he doesnt seem to realize that hes being manipulative about it..im not trying to infantilize him i just remember him being confused/surprised when dean points out that crowley gave him the same line)
like i do think theres a bit of double think in how castiel acts and behaves and he doesnt seem to grasp the emotional consequences of his actions, especially in this season.
like he thinks hes saying "if you trust me (please trust me) i can get crowley to release lisa and ben, because you wont be a threat anymore to his plan"
but dean hears "if you want lisa and ben back, you'll have to fall in line"
thats not to say dean is wrong for hearing it like that, but castiel really seems to be struggling with communication because he did this all for dean (in his mind) and once it's all over everything will be fine, lucifer and michael will stay in their cage, and dean and lisa will be safe at home.
but at this point hes killed too many and hurt too many people to turn back so when dean pleads for him to back down hes hearing dean say "im fine with risking the apocalypse again, and i cant trust you to do a plan that you are certain will work" when dean is just worried about another eve slipping through
its just very delightfully complex (imho) i dont really have a conclusion
Cas definitely wanted Dean on his side. He didn't need to wake Dean up or have a conversation with him to get the journal. He chose to wake him up and have that conversation because he desperately wanted Dean not to think badly of him. It's just hilarious that at the same time, he was also like. There to steal shit. When he saw Dean sleeping on that couch, he just couldn't help himself. He wanted to talk to Dean.
Trying to get Dean on his side was important to Cas because he loves Dean and values their friendship, but it was also important to him because Cas had, to some extent, tied his self-image to everyone else's perception of him over the whole season. He lies to all of his friends—Sam, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Rachel. He lies to the Winchesters because he wants a place he can come to where someone still recognizes him as the person he used to be and not the person he is becoming. Crowley puts this best:
CROWLEY: The big lie -- the Winchesters still buy it. The good Cas, the righteous Cas. And long as they still believe it, you get to believe it. Well, I got news for you, kitten. A whore is a whore is a whore.
This is a period where Cas was doubting everything and wrestling with moral quandaries. He sees his own actions as monstrous, but also believes that monstrosity is necessary. He and Dean have a conversation about this very early on in 6.06, after their last interaction in 6.03 had Cas causing a child excruciating pain to gain information.
DEAN
What happened to you, Cas? You used to be human, or at least like one.
CASTIEL
I'm at war. Certain... regrettable things are now required of me.
I've talked about how the title of this episode, "You Can't Handle The Truth", shows Cas's hand in that he doesn't believe anybody else can handle the dirty work. He knows it makes him look bad and that's why he lies about it—to protect his image.
The whole of 6.20, he's struggling, but he's doing it alone. To his friends, he presents his actions with surety—telling Dean insistently that Cas knows what he's doing and that there's nothing broken about his plan, while he says privately praying to his father:
Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path? You have to tell me. You have to give me…A sign. Give me a sign. Because if you don’t…I’m gonna ju– I’m gonna do whatever I… Whatever I must.
And to himself about working with Crowley:
I asked myself, “what was I doing with this vermin?”
And while betraying Crowley briefly by killing demons Crowley sent after the Winchesters:
For a brief moment…I was me again.
Sam and Dean and Bobby's belief in Cas's goodness (that he was himself) was so important to Cas that he was spying on them all of 6.20 despite his alleged busy schedule just to check in and see what they were thinking about him. And when they did trust him again for that brief moment, he felt relief, but also knew it was all an illusion and felt shame and guilt about it:
Wonders never cease. They trusted me again. But it was just another lie.
The same discomfort and shame seeps off Cas in 5.17 when Sam and Dean thank him for saving them, while Cas knows Astropos was only after them because of him, and that if they understood the full picture, their feelings about what he'd actually done to "save" them would be very very different. He knows he's receiving praise he doesn't deserve, so the esteem they place on him is hollow.
On the other hand, I do think Cas grasps the emotional consequences of his actions for the most part. That's why he lied the whole season—because he was afraid of the fallout among every single person he knew and even more as the lies stacked and stacked. He knew none of them would agree with what he was doing. But the consequences with Sam and Dean also extend a little deeper than Cas thought they would, and that's what wounds him the absolute most, I think. I don't think Cas expected Sam to question whether Cas intentionally left his soul in The Cage, or for Dean to question whether or not Cas was involved in the plot to kidnap Lisa and Ben in 6.21. He is genuinely and deeply wounded when his care for them is essentially questioned at the very foundation and it leaves him feeling betrayed in his own way.
The thing is, Cas's privately held doubts still do not match the picture he presents to the Winchesters even after he is exposed. Privately, Cas is starting to see the pride and hubris underlying some of his choices:
I wish I could say I was clean of pride at that moment…
I see now that I was prideful. And in all likelihood, I was a fool.
I see now that was arrogance…Hubris
Privately, Cas reveals that his motives aren't as pure as he presents them to be:
I had no choice. I did it to protect the boys. Or to protect myself. I-I don’t know anymore.
Hiding…Lying…Sweeping away evidence. And my motives used to be so pure.
Crowley had a point, of course. My interest was conflicted. I still considered myself the Winchesters’ guardian.
But to the Winchesters? He says "I did it all for you" and "I did it to protect you. I did it to protect all of you" and "It's not broken". He doesn't let them see his doubts, because he might crumble under them—and because sunk cost fallacy and his own pride won't allow him to accept being questioned even by his closest friends. In other words, he continues to lie, and after the big reveal, Dean can see right through him.
CASTIEL: I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you.
DEAN: Because of me. Yeah. You got to be kidding me.
Cas's pride also comes out in this conversation at night in Bobby's house.
DEAN: I'm not gonna logic you, okay? I'm saying don't...Just 'cause. I'm asking you not to. That's it. Look, next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest things I have to family -- that you are like a brother to me. So, if I'm asking you not to do something...You got to trust me, man.
CASTIEL: Or what?
Dean says he isn't going to logic Cas. Bobby and Sam and Dean already tried that earlier that day, Balthazar will also try later, and it doesn't register. Dean puts all of the technical arguments aside and is trying to say (coupled with his earlier assertions) "I know you think you have to do this, but all of us can see you're going off the deep end and even you know that deep down. Please trust us on this." But Cas's response is "Or what?" He turns it into a battle of wills, then adds, "You can't stop me. You're just a man", which is also a dogwhistle for Dean when dealing with angels, who repeatedly over the course of the show, have called him a monkey, a dog, a pet, and other things to express the idea that he is beneath them as a justification for using and hurting him. It immediately turns them against each other because Cas feels like Dean is basically calling him crazy and is offended by the idea that he doesn’t know what he’s doing (even though he has his own private doubts, because at this point his self-image hinges on turning out to be right). Dean is seeing the angelic sense of superiority come out—something he’s far more familiar with than he’d like to be—something common to the angels who have used and manipulated and threatened him and acted entitled to him… and coupled with all the questions about exactly how involved Cas was in using Dean to get alphas over the course of the season and how he knows Cas used him in “The French Mistake”? It doesn’t paint a pretty picture for Dean.
In addition to their profound bond, I think Dean saying, "Cas, we can fix this!" and Dean being Cas's defender the entirety of 6.20 is also why Cas comes to him at the end of the episode. Dean is the weak link in the chain at the time (that completely changes in the next episode when Lisa and Ben are kidnapped). But Dean is also so devastated about all the faith he had in Cas's honesty being crushed, and he's reliving the demon blood arc in some sense, and he's probably reevaluating what he felt when Cas used him in "The French Mistake" and what exactly was going on in "My Heart Will Go On" and how—when Crowley forced him and Sam into doing his bidding, Cas knew it and he let it happen—he let it happen because he wanted the alphas. Not only did Cas know Crowley was using them—he went to great lengths to cover up his involvement and keep them off Crowley's tail. Cas's speech in the following episode demanding Dean's trust again is not only ill-timed while Dean is worried sick about Lisa and Ben—it's full of lies and half truths and even a little shit slinging that Dean knows isn't fair and that is deeply reminiscent of Sam's speech full of falehoods about trust in 4.21.
On Cas's side, I think you're spot on about his lack of cognizance on how he comes across when he says:
CASTIEL: I came to tell you that I will find Lisa and Ben, and I will bring them back. Stand behind me, the one time I ask.
I don't think Cas meant to suggest that the first statement depends on the second one (we can judge as much when he heals Lisa at the end of the episode) but that's absolutely how it comes across.
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in typical "i can fix him" fashion, i like to indulge in shameless delusions about Micah falling obsessively in love with me (/the reader) and being absolutely destraught over it because suddenly his whole world view is being turned upside down. Suddenly there's more to life than surviving and fighting, and he has to figure out himself and his values all over again because of a woman he's come to love more than himself. I'd love to hear your take on obsessive love, actually-kinda-wants-the-best-for-you Micah, if you'd like <3
((PS: im so sorry if this is cringe))
Trust me, I do not believe in cringe on this account🙏
As far as obsessive love with Micah goes, I can totally see it; in his own little ways.
He's definitely more subtle about it. Before getting together, you'll literally have no idea at all that he was heavily infatuated with you. He's discreet because you cant be a rough, mean cowboy while being in love and acting like a schoolgirl with her first ever crush.
There's a part of the game where we see him ask Mary-Beth to dance that one time. He's stuttering and nervous; and that's how I imagine he'd be with you at first. It's all so new to him, falling in love, so it's only natural you'll see a more vulnerable, almost scared side of him. Softie Bell, I love you.
He won't be too physical with you outside of intimacy, like he's not a cuddler but if you were to ask him, he'd oblige a few times to keep you happy—because he loves you. Just kind of laying down with you and doing whatever comes to mind; rubbing your back or head slowly. We know he's a heavy insomniac so if you fall asleep, he'll just stare at the tent ceiling and space out, waiting for you. He'll never admit it, but he loves having you in his arms.
He'll show his upmost trust and love for you with things that might seem minuscule to an outside perspective; like letting you handle Baylock or his precious guns which would be a huge sign of trust on his end. He once left his guns in your care for nearly three hours and it was the best thing ever.
He'll definitely handle you more gently—like he does his guns. You're both precious to him, that's for sure. I can see him being too scared to even touch you too roughly or hug you too tightly at first, as if you were made of porcelain or something. Over time, he gets a lot more comfortable as he warms up to the feeling—and after you tell him he can touch you like a normal person would.
God forbid someone tries to even talk to you when he takes you out—immediate threats and many bar fights you witnessed go down in which Micah went ballistic. Most nights out end with you and him at the medicine wagons, both on your own crate as you scold Micah for his temper while you clean his face up. Was it partially just his plan to have you touching him and cleaning him up longer? Maybe.
Just mildly a stalker, by the way. Oh, you're doing chores around camp? Wow, what a coincidence; Micah is in the exact spot where he can watch while not being too obvious about it! Wow, that's a crazy coincidence, surely!
Probably has your whole routine/schedule memorised; he knows when you're doing what chore, and he knows where he has to go to be able to watch. He's a little creep and we love it.
Honorable mention — love language.
His love language is definitely quality time. If he catches you alone somewhere, he'll walk over and do literally anything just to be around your presence. You could be doing chores and he'll just walk over and lean on the nearest tree or wagon to you, take his knife out and start sharpening it. Literally anything to spend time with you at this point. Won't make an effort at smalltalk because he actually enjoys sitting in silence with you, but will occasionally let you yap his ear off when you have something to say. "Mhm..; Oh, yeah?; You don't say?; Wow, yeah?" He'll respond with whatever just to keep you talking to him, loves the sound of your voice.
this was me using the req to my advantage to spit out all the micah content plaguing my brain. pls help he wont pay rent or leave the premises. hell, i'm the one that's obsessed as of now.
In conclusion;
Micah is secretly obsessed with you and will never truly admit it—even if it's goddamn obvious to everybody.
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hi friend, you still have the potential to be sued here in the US, even if you’re not using images. That’s a big part of why authors likes Anna Todd, scrubbed After (with all references to Harry’s name) from the internet when she started charging for it and before any publication would take an interest. (Before anyone comes for me, I’m sure the original has been saved by some third part somewhere. This is the internet after all. But the point remains if she were to be sued, she is able to claim that she did her due diligence by removing any and all content with any reference to Harry Styles from the internet BEFORE she received any payment.) The US is currently starting to crack down on copyright and intellectual property infringement. In large part due to the fact that so many people have received huge payouts over the last ten years. Unfortunately they’re not choosing to go after the ones that have actually gotten rich from the issue. And while the drivers might not care. Their management most certainly will. If you’re choosing to charge for your fiction it might be best to at the very least change names so you might have some form of deniability.
this was an interesting ask, thanks for the heads up again!
I'm not trying to go against your word, but rather wondering about the topic myself because it seems to me it's a huge gray area, so feel free to reach me on my private messages or on anon again if you want. But speaking about Anna Todd, technically she could still be sued even after scrubbing Harry's name from the story because there was still proof on the internet that it was a story about him, if we're talking about defamation it doesn't need to involve the monetization aspect, it's still defamation without it. This would mean that ANY RPF fanfiction is illegal and could be sued (which is not necessarly the case because theres the whole fair use thing).
We're talking about huge payouts, but I'm getting less than fifty dollars a month with Patreon lol would their team really come for me (a poor grad student) on behalf of a billionaire for getting less than fifty dollars a month to help pay school and medical bills? this would need a huge pr work too to make them seem good after doing something so crazy like this.
Talking about defamation, let's say I change names, but this Tumblr would still be up and everything else would easily show that it's about pilot X, this could still be considered illegal because you can tell who it is about. The reason why nobody comes for rpf is because 1) the money people are talking about is just a few bucks most of the time, and 2) it's exactly this real people's FICTION, there's not much to talk about defamation of a worldwide artist when the content you're sharing is for a nich of less than one hundred people, it's not reasonable. I haven't found a past decision about something similar in the US court, if there is, please send it in, but other than that it's a huge speculation thing in my head, which only a judge could clarify.
Patreon and monetizing fanfiction is quite common in fandoms like Chris Evans', for example, and I haven't seen anything legal come from it yet. again because it's unreasonable for those artists to go after their own fans for taking less than a hundred dollars in content that clearly sets a fictional character that just happens to look and have the same name as them because more often than not it's set in an alternative universe.
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