#ateardropintheocean

[ateardropintheocean]

What’s wrong with taking a sabbatical?

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What’s wrong with taking a sabbatical?

You fear that it’s something so radical,

Time off can lead to happenings magical-

Mental peace, clear goals, shifts subliminal..

 .

Whats wrong with taking a sabbatical?

Even if nothing happens that’s magical,

Even if people that matter look quizzical,

Even if you can’t justify how it’s logical.. 

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What’s wrong with taking a sabbatical?

Nothing, for you can’t always choose practical

Nothing, for you need to refocus and mull,

Nothing, for this one’s for you, imperfect you.

.

[creatingnikki]

Stop comparing new experiences to old experiences. Stop comparing him to yourself and how others treated you in the past. Because that leads to empathy more than is healthy, more than he deserves.

@ateardropintheocean

[ateardropintheocean]

Peel off all your layers and what are you?

The skin of my conviction,

strongly held opinions build up carefully the walls,

The muscle of my opinions,

flexing my knowledge as I waltz unencumbered,

The hormones of my knowledge,

pulsing blood to work harder through febrile fluctuations,

The blood of my hard work,

pumped by inquisitive heart as I thirst yet unquenched,

The nerves of my inquisitiveness,

fueled by burgeoning conviction that I need more, feel more,

The bones of my conviction,

crafted with certain belief that I can build strong walls.

[ateardropintheocean]

I want to talk

I want to talk about fears

Yours,

Mine,

I want to talk about losses

Yours,

Mine,

I want to talk about breakdowns

Yours,

Mine,

I want to talk about the past

Yours,

Mine,

I want to talk about the future

Ours.

Hopefully.

[ateardropintheocean]

The Truth

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Begin Transcript

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“What.. what should I do now?”

Look straight ahead, my dear

and then- tell me as you see

Wryly curling lips, a sharp stare

unto the eyes I so seldom behold-

.

Burnt coffee swirling in two pools

inlaid with larger flecks sparse,

the muddied water sizzles; a colour

so bitter I feel my tongue curling,

so bitter it reminds me of the truth..

.

Perhaps we can start, my dear

Time is of the essence, after all

mimicking her insincere demeanour,

“Just gathering my thoughts ma’am,

I’ll get to it just now, please wait”

.

“They said.. I wasn’t cut out to lead-

in truth? I could never really fit in,

I cared too much about the project”

A large blob rolls wetly down,

What did you do then, my dear?

.

“My ideas, my hours of research

they so uncaringly disregarded,

granted I was too sincere - but..”

the pools glint electric as I pause,

“You already know, don’t you?”

.

Let us move on to the next, my dear

Is that a note of frustration I hear?

“High school- surely you get it..

she was my best, and only friend-

two fat girls clinging to each other”

.

“That fall.. ‘basketball’, she claimed,

yet it seemed miraculously.. bulimic,

so I tried it too, well, and then..”

And then? “All I spoke was my truth-

rightly so, for it absolved me”

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Let us move on to the next, my dear

the pools occluded for a second,

“Despite knowing her sordid history,

they believed she’d ‘recovered’,

or so I was unfailingly reminded”

.

Did she not request you, my dear?

“Two packs of seltzer, just for her,

I knew not it had an alcoholic kind,

could she not tell from the first sip?

I am responsible but for my actions”

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Let us move on to the next, my dear

“What else have you dredged up?”

Did you know of the girl before, my dear?

the pools brim with fresh tears,

face awash, “About a month, fool that I’m”

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Let us revisit the past weekend, my..

“The pretence is a bit much, isn’t it?

As I’ve stated countless times ere,

I was on a flight over the Atlantic,

off to receive my Honors Medal”

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Let us revisit the weeks prior, Ms Alithis,

It had been snowing quite heavily,

You said “I had to shovel it myself,

couldn’t get any of the kids to do it”

Care to explain why this change?

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“As I said before, Lei became stingy-

we were quite literally snowed in,

naturally they wanted extra, but..”

Did he tell the kids this, Ms Alithis?

“No, as I said, I dealt with them”

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Why did you not pay them yourself?

“You must definitely be single ma’am,

that would’ve been goading him”

Did you notice anything with his car,

when you were diligently shovelling?

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The pools darkened a smidgen,

“My partner crashed his bloody car,

died along with his bloody mistress,

all while I was bloody miles away,

And you’re questioning my shovelling?”

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Let us carry on civilly, Ms Alithis,

There appears to be some foul..

“Yes, I confess now, I did it,

jumped out of the plane and

rammed his car right onto a tree”

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A pregnant silence overtakes the air,

Your anger is warranted, Ms Alithis,

having suffered a great loss; however

above all, justice must be served.

the pools clear in acquiescence

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On the night of their deaths,

Mr Thyma had called you five times,

“As I’ve already said, I. Don’t. Know. Why”

Could it be that he was locked out?

“What are you implying, ma’am?”

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Did he inform you of his weekend plans?

“ ‘With this snow, I’m not leaving the bed’ ”

Why did he leave then, that night?

“Surely you’re.. he went to get his bimbo, 

but to answer, he’d run out of smokes”

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It seems strange to leave before you..

“As you know, the Arlo’s been disabled

exactly since he left, the asshole.. he..

planned it so I wouldn’t suspect,

It was connected to both your cells? “No”

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The pools glisten in the rippling shock,

You stated otherwise prior, Ms Alithis,

“Because I believed so then, for

I only got to the app after his funeral-

I’ve been logged out for a month”

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Please hand over your cell, Ms Alithis

“Sure, if that’s all I’d like to leave”

Just a few more, dear, since then,

Have you faced any issues driving?

“Other than the icy roads? No”

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Were there any issues in his car?

“That dump is, was.. ten years old,

had a myriad of issues he ignored..

Are you saying that’s why he..?”

Thank you for your cooperation.

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End Transcript

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The screen blackens over the pools,

My gaze at long last shifts to her,

“Can you please just tell me what’s..?

The car’s exhaust was choked with snow,

leading to a CO leak inside the vehicle.

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“Why didn’t they try to get out?”

Realising he didn’t have his keys,

stranded as they were in the remote land,

he likely called you, panicking- given

his medical history there wasn’t much time..

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The doctors assess he had a seizure

which caused the terrible crash.

“Oh my god, oh my god.. what..”

Tell me Verity, off the record, if-

what I am about to say is the truth?

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Lei’s keys are lost, or discarded,

where you received commendation?

“Truthfully, ma’am, I’ve suffered

a great loss - laid him to rest,

Above all? Justice has been served.

.

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Hey guys! Do let me know what you thought! I’d really appreciate some constructive feedback :)

[ateardropintheocean]

Make Mistakes

Make all the mistakes you can,

Someday when you look back

You’ll see yourself learning life-

Instead of watching it pass by.

[ateardropintheocean]

A good book

A good book, a good story

is the best kind of friend-

It broadens your horizons,

stokes the embers within,

kindling the writer’s passion

It is a fortifying embrace,

ensnaring your mind from

all of your own problems

provides a retreat, an anchor

to pin yourself on, just then

It is a wondrous insight

into the workings of a mind

so unlike or alike your own

countless hours you spend

much after the tale is told

pondering alternate endings,

unraveling the characters,

marveling the great gift that

allows such ideas to fruition

A good book is but a mirror

a reflection of another’s tale

that once over and done with

forever changes your own.

[ateardropintheocean]

Questions

Do you know yourself?

Do you know yourself?

Do you know yourself?

Do you know yourself?

Do you know yourself?

Are your goals clear?

Are your goals clear?

Are your goals clear?

Are your goals clear?

Are your goals clear?

Are you working for them?

Are you working for them?

Are you working for them?

Are you working for them?

Are you working for them?

Are you working for them?

[ateardropintheocean]

Goodbye

I’ve changed houses, cities, even states

It drags behind, never far enough from sight,

Over the years it’s grown so large, I know not

how I can pretend it is a decent size anymore.

I tried a few years back to sort through it,

Lo and behold, I rediscovered some old haunts,

It ended up heavier than before, and there began

my weary attempts to live with it, make peace

I didn’t really have a plan, to be honest

I figured if I let it stay without ever feeding,

it would die a slow death eventually.. hopefully

But I learnt a valuable lesson about hunger then-

It makes one do wherever it takes to survive

That’s how we ended up one night last year

I was lonely, it was hungry, we stayed up all night

Until I had no more tears left to feed it, and

It had no more horrors left to remind me of.

But I learnt a valuable lesson about failure then-

It’s like when the game gives you a choice-

End it there, or spend a diamond to gain an extra life,

I worked for months pouring all my heart, strength

to fashion a diamond and reset the board.

Along the way I fed it scraps from my mending heart,

One eye out to keep my motivations hidden away,

Hungry to live the new life I so painstakingly made.

And that’s the tale of my journey here, at Newstart airport

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“I’m really sorry for the inconvenience ma’am,

It seems your baggage has flown to.. Old Anxtrauma”

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“That’s quite alright, I’m here to make a fresh start anyway”

[ateardropintheocean]

I’m afraid I’ve lost my glasses

I can’t find my glasses,

Could someone please

help me look for them?

I see but blurred faces,

and blotted out facades

rippling free with my gaze

I see their heart inside,

the petty and vicious side,

I see all that they hide

I’ve lost my eyeglasses,

My rose-tinted glasses,

Help me find them, please?

[ateardropintheocean]

Nesting Dolls

Of young men, a fine specimen

Diligent, responsible, admirable

all the right objectives slid in place,

smiling hollow through the veneer-

Masks and he special bedfellows

they have survived many storms,

as one they will survive yet more

-so I divine, in growing alarm.

“Stickler-Hitler, follows every rule”

“Stickler-Hitler, he’ll stay a fool”

jeers morphed into mock-whispers,

angry tears morphed into a shell-

taller and stronger, a fine young man

nests sturdy above the little boy-

When would I see his heart again?

-so I fret, in vain.

I was young once too, you know,

young and incredibly self-absorbed,

when first I saw a thin husk form

nigh steeped in private torment,

doubts aside I watched it grow,

together they made quite the pair-

student has long eclipsed the teacher

-so I despair, ever the fool.

unnerved by his fledgling maturity

the attacks increased in notches,

before my horrified eyes the shell-

that wretched shell doubled in size

eating itself up, trapping his self

further deep, yet again and again

for attacks never ceased, only increased

-so I saw, in blooming regret.

with righteous anger went innocence,

with resentment went contentment

there must be balance, I suppose?

to douse fire with fire, I light a trap-

smoldering eyes break clean a layer,

one, of the multitudes still to go.

Betrayal shines through his exhaustion.

-so be it, I take up arms.

with each flame he will loath me more-

but is it not worth his freedom?

lonely little boy condemned unknowingly,

the one I swore to protect forever,

the one I must yet protect, though

lost inside the shell affixed over him.

as one we will cast it away from him.

-so I divine, hope springing eternal.

[ateardropintheocean]

The world has not rejected men enough for them to be empathetic.

-SI

[ateardropintheocean]

Cloud

Dreary clouds draped below the sky

billowing showers in drunken stupor-

staggering drizzles interspersed with

thunderstorms of steady purpose,

heaving on till every last drop drained,

The sun peeks through at long last,

beatific through paling dry clouds that

look as delectable as cotton-candy puffs-

the utopic scene has completely erased

a hangover that seeming never was.

Looking up at the sky now, I wonder

how many cottony clouds I have passed,

not realizing the tumultuous storm ere,

how many storm clouds I have judged-

their eventual calm ill-fathomable then,

how many smoggy clouds I have ignored

quietly inching to their billowing point,

As my musings slowly swivel inward,

I fleetingly ponder a karmic angle-

how many could have done me the same?

[ateardropintheocean]

Masks we wear

Buried dreams and stifled screams,

Freely falling treacherous streams,

Come the morn commence the act,

Skirting the edge with pleasing tact,

Mirthless smiles like playing it cool-

Those that care, they all be fooled,

Shadowed walks through the cruel-

Those that don’t, they all be fooled,

Stoke the embers donning sheepskin

They stare agape at your wolf’s grin-

When once buried gladly unearthed,

In time to make them pay their worth.

[ateardropintheocean]

What’s more important, cake or frosting?

Plain vanilla sponge, folded and baked to perfection,

none different from its billions of siblings

living in ubiquity, content with the order

until of course some decide to shake things up,

add a bit of chocolate in like the street hero,

a hint of cinnamon to spice it up, spread the name,

or maybe some matcha, the new global sensation

Yet incomplete are all without some frosting,

whipped and smoothened, soft and sweet

it goes on top piped evenly, adorned in pretty swirls

the cakes complain at being placed beneath,

insist they need not the vapid adornment, for

frosting is airy with no depth, pretty with no flavor,

they conveniently ignore the impact on sales-

bland vanilla pales in front of frosted birthday cake

and alas rage on- what’s most important, cake or frosting?

funnily enough there is another component, one

that binds the cake and frosting as single unit-

sugar glaze that moistens the cake, acts as glue

to stick firmly the frosting atop, and like all good glues

it is unseen, but perhaps unfairly unheard of too

cakes have no problem being drenched in the glaze

for it changes nothing of their outer form, besides

why bother fighting an invisible enemy, unlike the pesky frosting

and so forgotten again, the debates rage on

what’s more important, the cake or the frosting?

[ateardropintheocean]

Compare

Good? Better.

Smart? Smarter.

Rich? Richer.

Accomplished? More so.

Content? Content.

Adding this image because I just made it:)