#atsushi is really fucking dense though

[caffeiiine]

atsulucy liker!! i’m shaking rapidly you by the shoulders they mean so much to me

AAAAH SHAKES YOU BACK SO HARD

they are my absolute everything

atsushi is dense as hell even when lucy drops the most OVIOUS hinyts

watched them is like watching one of those highschool romance movies that are so bad you love them

[scriveyner]

always summer #2

always summer #2: overheard | bungou stray dogs |👿🐯 | #kinktober 🔞| ~1500 words

The cabin was very well secluded, with a turn off the two-lane highway almost completely obscured by the overgrown trees. Dazai had dramatically complained of aches and pains and as such claimed the master bedroom on the ground floor; because, Atsushi suspected, it had an in-room jacuzzi. Not that he had any particular mind or care about it, but the other room was less a bedroom and more a loft that overlooked the entire main room of the cabin. Not exactly the most private place.

Never mind the fact that there was only one king-sized bed in the loft.

Read on ao3 or:

“I am not sharing a bed with Akutagawa,” Atsushi said stubbornly, and Chuuya shrugged at him, standing with one arm draped over the open door of the fridge. “It’s weird.”

“Kid,” Chuuya said, an unlit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, “I could not give less of a fuck.”

Atsushi folded his arms and looked out the window over the sink, nose scrunched angrily as he tried to think of a way out of this. He’d been cornered into this entire endeavor by Dazai-san, of course, and then he’d only discovered that this little “work trip” was less a “work trip” and more a “Dazai decided to fuck off to parts unknown and thought it would be great fun to involve Atsushi in his work avoidance adventure” when they arrived at the airport.

Plus, Akutagawa was here for some goddamn reason, and he really didn’t want to think about that.

Atsushi jumped when Chuuya slammed the fridge door shut and stormed past him, violently yanking the front door open and yelling outside “the fridge is fucking empty, you shithead! I thought you called ahead! What the fuck are we gonna eat?”

Dazai was “helping” unload the car. In reality he was sitting on the picnic table just outside the front door, between the gravel driveway and the porch, and supervising Akutagawa while drinking a warm beer. Atsushi shifted guiltily, he should probably help unload, but he’d been crammed in the back seat of that car for more hours than he wanted to think about, thigh to thigh with Akutagawa, and that…that was another thing for the long, long list of things he didn’t want to think about.

He tuned back into Chuuya and Dazai’s rather animated conversation in time to hear Chuuya say, “well fuck you. I’m going to the store. Come on, Akutagawa!”

Chuuya stomped outside, ability-aided this time, leaving two-inch-deep footprints in the hard-packed dirt. Akutagawa was still standing by the open hatch, Rashomon holding two wheeled suitcases and that stupid hat still on his head; Chuuya shoved him with both hands on his back until Akutagawa got into the car and they were gone.

Huh.

Atsushi walked to the door—which Chuuya had kindly left open for the bugs—and stood on the stoop. “Is Chuuya-san alright,” he asked. “Does he even know where to get groceries here?”

Dazai raised his beer in the direction of the road, the taillights of the rental car already out of sight. “Nope,” he said, cheerfully.

Atsushi sighed and began bringing the bags inside.

~*~

The loft itself was very spacious, and the furniture was situated in a manner that couldn’t be seen from any point on the main floor. So, there was some measure of privacy, more than he’d initially thought, even though the entire back wall of the second story was windows.

There was also a bathroom in the loft, with an enormous, stand-up shower with two shower heads and a bench; it too was situated against the wall of windows—which would make him more nervous if said windows did not look into a dense, dark forest.

These were very nice, very upscale accommodations. But still, only one bed.

Atsushi sat on the very edge of the mattress and smoothed his hands along the tops of his thighs. They’d shared a bed before; this wasn’t that big of a deal. It wasn’t like they’d fucked a few times and he maybe semi-professed his love and then they’d immediately had to leave and go their separate way and somehow never talked about it again.

Oh god, this was going to be a disaster.

He scrubbed his hands over his face. Dazai-san didn’t bring him along with Akutagawa just to torture him…he was moderately sure of that. Most likely he just wanted a romantic weekend with Chuuya but couldn’t seem to get away with disappearing on his own, so he kidnapped Atsushi to make it look somehow legitimate; like Atsushi would be actually capable of lying to Kunikida-san’s face about any of this when they got back.

Atsushi heard the car pulling up the gravel drive well before Dazai. He walked to the edge of the loft and leaned against the rail and realized he could hear the water running downstairs; Dazai already investigating the jacuzzi most likely, leaving Atsushi alone to help with bringing in the groceries.

Maybe, just maybe he’d feel less awkward about this entire thing once he ate.

He could hope, at least.

~*~

“We should talk,” Atsushi said, on dishes duty because Chuuya cooked. Akutagawa stood a respectable distance away, drying and putting the dishes away with Rashomon, placing them back in the cupboards without having to move from his station.

“There is nothing for us to talk about,” Akutagawa said, voice carefully neutral.

Atsushi glanced over his shoulder; he could locate Chuuya and Dazai by the dim glow of their cigarettes, standing on the back porch that jutted off the building, overlooking the lake. “We should talk about what happened,” he said, and Rashomon plucked the saucepan out of his hands to dry it. “Between us.”

Akutagawa did not slow, drying the pan thoroughly. “You wish it had not occurred. I am honoring that wish. There is nothing more to say.”

“But I—”

Rashomon dropped the damp dishcloth on the counter beside Atsushi’s hand. “There is nothing more to say,” he said, a sharper edge to his tone. Clearly uninterested in continuing the conversation, Akutagawa turned on his heel and vanished upstairs to the loft.

Atsushi pulled the stopper in the sink and watched the water drain. He’d lived for two weeks in a tiny Yokohama apartment with this man, this should be a fucking breeze. At least they had space, here. So…why wasn’t it?

He looked over his shoulder again at the porch. Dazai and Chuuya were leaned against the railing, heads tilted in toward each other, casually intimate. He sighed and flopped on the couch, turning on the television mounted over the fireplace.

He’d survived worse than this.

~*~

It was dark when Atsushi opened his eyes. He had no idea what time it was, his phone on a charger on the dresser, and he blinked muzzily at the wall of pillows that had been constructed as a line of demarcation in the center of the king-sized bed. It was quiet in the cabin at this time of the night, the buzz of appliances downstairs a faint whisper in the background; and Atsushi wondered what woke him until he heard the soft grunt and felt the gentle shift of the mattress.

“Fuck.” It was uttered on an exhale, barely audible, and the next breath even quieter, sucked in through teeth. Atsushi stared at the pillows, mind racing as the mattress shifted again. That…wasn’t. He wouldn’t…

He couldn’t see over the pillows without raising himself up, and he didn’t dare move. Eyes wide, he listened, one hand now covering his mouth, as Akutagawa grunted softly again. His exhalations were soft, barely audible words; however, Atsushi had ears keener than most and could easily pick out every word.

“Goddamn…” he felt the mattress move again, he could see it in his mind’s eye, he knew what Akutagawa looked like with his dick in hand, god, “fucking, nngh—” He stayed very, very still, listening to the noise becoming wetter, sloppier. “Fucking weretiger, ah, AH—”

Akutagawa clearly forgot himself for a split second, and Atsushi tightened his hand over his mouth, ears flaming red. There was silence after, Akutagawa’s panting breaths slowing, finally; Atsushi took a gamble and rolled over. That drew Akutagawa’s attention and Atsushi heard him sit up, probably staring at Atsushi’s back now, sweat on his chest and in his hair, and oh god now was not the time to get hard, shit.

Atsushi stared stubbornly off into the darkness, heart beating hard and fast, and the bed creaked again as Akutagawa shifted once more. Good, get out of the bed, Atsushi thought hard, go wash up.

Akutagawa did not immediately get out of bed. Atsushi felt one of the pillows slide off the barrier, wanted to turn over and look when it thumped against his back; somehow, he resisted the urge to react.

After a long, long moment of stretched silence, Atsushi felt a hand brush his shoulder. He froze as Akutagawa pulled the top sheet back up over his side, and it took every ounce of effort for Atsushi to keep his breathing slow and even, eyes squeezed shut. Finally, the mattress shifted again, and he heard Akutagawa pad quietly to the bathroom.

Atsushi clutched the sheet pulled up over his shoulder, face flushed brilliantly red as he stared off into the darkness, the blood pounding in his ears drowning out the distant noise of running water.

This vacation was going to be the death of him.

[babydaddyleorio]

99 !

so this was an old knb draft that I didn't really like, but I love murasakibara so 🥴  also, I think I’m going to just post the drafts like this instead of separately from now on!

— pick a number between 1-100 and I’ll post an ask/draft!

Murasakibara latched his hand around your wrist, swiftly tugging you flush against his chest.

“Do you enjoy playing with my emotions, making me chase you like this?”

You felt his other hand grip your waist as his mouth whispered his words dangerously low against the lobe of your ear. You slowly turned your body around and stared at the furious giant glaring down at you with your own gaze shining with confusion.

“What the hell are you talking about, Atsushi?” You shot back, eyebrows now knitted and lips frowning in distaste.

The two of you glowered at each other intensely, standing tautly in the parking lot of Akashi’s apartment complex. Tonight he threw a party to celebrate the team winning their first championship and had invited just about everyone to come and have a good time. Everything was going fine until Murasakibara caught wind of you in the corner talking to Kise, cheesing largely as you leaned against the wall and laughing a bit too loudly at his corny jokes. Murasakibara glared at the two of you for as long as he could before finally marching over and causing a scene that ultimately made you exit the function.

“I hate it when you play dumb.” Murasakibara fussed before craning his neck so that his face was right in front of yours. He pursed his lips and squinted his eyes dangerously close.

“Kise was obviously flirting with you.”

You immediately retched your body backward and scrunched your face up, now repulsed at his sudden accusation. “Kise is just a friend— nothing more. We were just talking and catching up, at least until you rudely interrupted us.”

Murasakibara scoffed, unimpressed and slightly offended by your explanation while insinuating him being the bad guy. “Yeah? Well, I don’t look at my friends like that. It’s clear that he wants something more.”

Now, was Murasakibara coming at you completely sideways right now? Yes.

But was he also right about Kise pursuing you? That would be a yes again.

Murasakibara had always noticed the way Kise looked at you, eyes gleaming with an insatiable desire every time he slyly raked his eyes across your figure. At first, Atsushi thought he too was crazy, imagining things that weren't even there and making a big commotion over absolutely nothing. But one night he forgot his snacks in the locker room and he ended up overhearing a conversation between Aomine and Kise that confirmed his suspicion.

“Y/n’s pretty hot, don't you think?” Kise smoothly blurted into the atmosphere, his casual words making Atsushi pause his hand on the door in front of him.

Aomine dubiously glanced at Kise as he rolled his T-shirt back over his body before shrugging his shoulders and moving to close his locker.

“I mean sure, but isn’t y/n dating Murasakibara?”

“So?” Kise snorted as he placed his shoes on the bench and tied his laces together with a smirk on his face. “You’re saying that like it matters.”

Murasakibara gritted his teeth, his eyes blazing with fire as he felt himself crush the almost empty can of soda in his hand. It took everything for him to not storm into the locker room and beat the absolute shit out of Kise for disrespecting him and you, but he couldn’t risk losing his scholarship. Though ever since that day, Murasakibara couldn't bring himself to forgive Ryōta, and he damn sure didn’t trust him either.

“You’re overreacting, it’s not that deep.” You argued and Murasakibara sucked his teeth because he knew what he felt and it was irritating him that you refused to believe your precious Kise was a snake.

“You can’t be that dense, y/n.” He quickly snapped, holding the bridge of his nose in frustration and making you jump slightly at his tone. “I know you’re fucking smarter than this.”

Ah, there it was. Murasakibara had a tendency to ridicule others whenever he got into arguments, and you supposed you wouldn’t be exempted.

You abruptly slapped your palms against your thighs, the sudden sound catching Murasakibara’s attention.

“You know what– I’m not doing this with you right now, and I won’t have you talk to me like that either. I’m leaving, deal with this yourself.” You venomously hissed before pivoting on your heel and storming to find your car.

Murasakibara stood in his spot, dumbfounded and immediately regretting his words. He ran his large hand down his face before pushing his legs to run after you. 

“Wait, come on— I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

You furiously whipped your head to peer up at him. “Then how did you mean it, Atsushi?”

Murasakibara quietly sighed.

“I heard Kise say that he wanted to be with you. It was at one of our games last summer. He didn’t care that we were already together, and he made it clear what his intentions were.” Murasakibara mumbled tautly before turning his head to look away with a frown painted on his face.

Murasakibara didn’t tell you the real reason why he was so upset. Truth be told, he was scared that you would leave him for Kise. You and Kise always seemed to have good chemistry and he easily made you laugh and smile, and it definitely made Murasakibara a bit insecure as your boyfriend. What if you thought Kise was for you instead of him?

You slowly registered Murasakibara’s words, and then slowly uncrossed your arms from over your chest. Now that you thought about it, Kise had seemed more relentless tonight, but you figured it was just the alcohol making him act like that.

“Why didn’t you just say that in the first place?” You tiredly exhaled as you lifted your hand to hold his cheek, rubbing the pad of your fingers gently. Murasakibara pouted dramatically before trailing his eyes to look down at you.

“Well, I tried to.” Murasakibara mumbled matter of factly, but you quickly sent him a look that made him click his tongue in exasperation.

“Yeah, I should’ve just told you from the beginning. I was just too pissed to think straight.”

“You don’t have to worry, because like I said, Kise and I are just friends. The next time I see him I’ll make it clear that’s as far as our relationship will go. If he doesn’t respect that, then I’ll just cut him off— simple.” You grinned as Murasakibara grabbed your hand and brought your knuckles to his lips. 

“M’kay, I trust you.” Murasakibara lowly hummed, flashing you soft eyes. Then, his arms slyly snuck around your figure, slowly lifting you up so your legs wrapped around his waist and his mouth tenderly fell against yours.

[dinosaurtsukki]

bsd as their zodiac signs | armed detective agency

a/n: i started out this blog with a hq as their zodiac signs post so i thought i should do one for bsd too !!

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osamu dazai | gemini

oh god i fucking knew it like dazai just screams gemini to me it's not even a surprise at this point

intelligence? check. sense of humor? check. talkative/chatty? check. dual-sidedness? check.

him being chaotic as fuck and unpredictable is just very gemini

as well as him being able to switch between being more light-hearted and cracking jokes to being all serious and kinda intimidating

geminis, like other air signs, are known for being intellectual too and quite skilled at a lot of things

aka dazai's many hidden talents (he apparently control his own heart rate like bitch wtf---)

he's not exactly the most loyal person either but more for the reasons that dazai thinks it's probably superficial. he knows very well that things can easily change with time and is adaptive because of that

very good at just,,, avoiding things in general

his legs are long because he uses them to run away from his problems

isn't the best when it comes to empathy and he definitely has a hard time connecting to people emotionally

but when he does, he treasures them quite dearly

his love language is roasting even though he is a bit of a flirt

that said, he likes being around people who just understand him in a way that even dazai doesn't

in terms of ideal partner, i think dazai wouldn't mind someone who's different from him personality-wise and he can get along with pretty much anyone

kunikida doppo | virgo

i was guessing that this guy was either a virgo or a capricorn and he definitely fits being a virgo

him being super rigid and organized when it comes to his work and schedule is very virgo since they're especially meticulous

just like dazai's he's very much a 'what are emotions?' kind of person (jk he knows anger but that's also because of dazai)

kunikida can also get quite nitpicky but that's because he expects a certain standard when it comes to things

he's a huge fan of marie kondo and declutters his house regularly. probably has a spice rack that's arranged in alphabetical order

him hating things that are out of schedule or haphazardly-made, spur-of-the-moment plans is also very virgo

SO good at repressing sadness and negative thoughts so he needs someone to truly open up with

also very detail-oriented. he'll take notice if things are just the slightest bit different or off. it helps him a lot in missions since he's very observant

king of self-control like how does he even do it ??

doesn't smoke or drink or any of those things

heck, he doesn't even eat junk food or sleep in late

okay but i feel like when or if he does get drunk, kunikida would already buy himself some hangover cures and place a glass of water on his nightstand table for hungover!kunikida

i feel like he has an aquarius placement in mars because of his idealism

atsushi nakajima | taurus

ngl i didn't really picture him as a taurus so i feel like his moon is in cancer because of how gentle and warm he is as a person (wow i'm really stroking my own cancer ego here)

a very loyal king and more than a little stubborn when it comes to that but he's very reliable

it actually bothers him a lot when he's unable to get something required of him done, whether its a really important mission or just something small

has an EXCELLENT memory for things. like, if you mention absentmindedly that you like orange popsicles he'll suddenly buy them for you because he knows you like them

atsushi probably really loves being in nature too and taking hikes when he's not too busy with work

just,, imagine him,,, picking wildflowers,,, and bringing them to the office,,, i'm soft i can't

he has a thing for making money but very careful about spending. the only time he really does spend is when he's giving to other people (like kyouka)

buying stuff for people = buying stuff for himself

okay but most of atsushi's money is spent on buying food (aka chazuke) and i bet he's invested some time in cooking for himself

has a stubborn streak but it's mostly fixated at how much he cares for people

he'll go out of his way to plan birthday parties or do a favor for someone even after telling him he doesn’t have to

edogawa ranpo | libra

another smart air sign boi !!

libras are like the uwu air signs but in my experience no two libras are the same and a lot of their personality kind of depends on their other placements

kind of like dazai, ranpo isn’t one to easily empathize with people and he’s a bit dense when it comes to detecting emotional cues

has an inability to specifically choose what he wants to eat so he solves it by choosing everything

aka will clean out the convenience store with one visit and then probably call kunikida if he doesn’t have enough money

libras are also known to be very affectionate around people and also quite charming

you can see this in ranpo as he does have that skill of manipulating people. he can easily cause them to be frustrated and lose their cool (case in point: chuuya)

and in many ways, his attitude and skill demands respect from his peers

libras are also driven by a need for justice and ranpo does exhibit this is a bit

his idea of justice is quite different from kunikida since ranpo has a bit more self-preserving tendencies

but for him, the idea ‘what’s right’ is attributed to the people he knows has a strong moral compass (aka, he’d do anything to support/follow fukuzawa and kunikida ideals)

although i do think ranpo also has a basic sense of doing what’s right and he does it for the detective agency

he’s really good at arguing even though he probably hates arguing. but he DOES lowkey love watching people fight

sometimes he’ll stir the pot a bit in the office but fukuzawa already knows ranpo started it

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taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @atsumusdomain​​ @laure-chan @goodfoodxoxoxo ​ @guardianangelswings @ah-kaashi @amberalisa​ @whootwhoot​ @liz-multifandom-hotel​​ @kac-chowsballs​​ @violentfarewll

[writing-radionoises]

attraction

ship: shin soukoku / akuatsu, kunikidazai 

genre: slow burn romance

prompt: akutagawa is pining and has no idea what to do about it

notes: ada akutagawa, sequel to satisfaction 

It’s been at least a month since the announcement of Dazai and Kunikida’s wedding, a month since Ryunosuke left that dreaded anonymous love letter on Atsushi’s desk.

And yet, Atsushi has not figured out who wrote the love letter. Or maybe he did, and Akutagawa just didn’t know, or maybe Atsushi is even avoiding him…

God knows, all Akutagawa knows is that he’s locked in the bathroom on his former mentor’s wedding day while Atsushi bangs on the door.

“Ryunosuke, you are coming to the wedding, you fucking lawnmower!” He yells from outside.

Akutagawa puts his head into his hands. He’s ready, he changed up his normal top to a short sleeve white blouse without ruffles, it revealed all his scars and bruises, but it was a cute top that Atsushi picked out. Atsushi even tied his tie, fixed his hair, and everything, but here he was, insecure once again.

“He probably doesn’t even want me there…” Akutagawa responded from the bathroom.

“Then why would Dazai-san invite you?” Kyouka said from outside the bathroom, her tone much softer than Atsushi’s.

Ryunosuke had actually forgotten she was there…

Atsushi sighed, “Even if he didn’t want you at his wedding, which he does, I would want you there. Ryuu-san, pleeease!”

… The truth is, Akutagawa could never say no to Atsushi, especially when Atsushi uses his personal nickname for Akutagawa.

The sound of it alone brings color to Akutagawa’s sickly pale face.

“... Okay,” Akutagawa hesitantly agrees, fixing the little cat hair clip in his hair before unlocking the door to the bathroom and opening it.

Atsushi is in a similar outfit to his agency wear, a short sleeve white button up with the addition of a bowtie instead of a typical tie, as well as tan suspenders instead of black.

Kyouka, on the other hand, is wearing something a little more fancy than Akutagawa and Nakajima, simply because she’s the flower girl. Her dress is a tank top, knee length white dress with a dark blue lace collar, a dark blue ribbon around her waist as well. Atsushi has placed a flower crown of blue hydrangeas on her head, as well.

… She’s quite adorable.

“Are we ready to go?” Kyouka asks.

The trio leave the apartment, and make their way towards Fukuzawa’s house.

--

It’s awkward. It’s horribly awkward for Akutagawa. It’s such a small wedding, it’s really only the agency there, with the addition of some guild members, Gin, Higuchi, and a small appearance from Chuuya before he quickly leaves.

Akutagawa had never felt so much relief seeing Chuuya leave.

He ends up sitting next to his sister and Higuchi, Gin wearing a dress Akutagawa had bought her for her sixteenth birthday a few months ago, and Higuchi wearing a simple suit as they watch Kunikida and Dazai.

Fukuzawa got ordained specifically for this wedding, and probably only this wedding. So, up at the altar are Fukuzawa, Dazai, Kunikida, Atsushi, and Ranpo.

There wasn’t a need for a whole set of groom’s men, so the two best men were picked out and left at that.

… Akutagawa found it hard to look at anything but Atsushi. Looking at anybody else made him feel awkward and out of place.

… But Atsushi was a safe ground, the reason Akutagawa went to this event in the first place.

If it was hard to not look at Atsushi, it was even more difficult to not imagine being up at the altar with him. Declaring vows, holding hands, kissing… It made Ryunosuke giddy, feeling his face heat up.

Kyouka poked fun at him earlier about it, saying that him and Atsushi were probably going to be married next.

It’d be so nice… Akutagawa thought, But I don’t think he thinks of me in that way.

Pining is awful, so Akutagawa has discovered. It’s fucking painful.

When the reception starts, Akutagawa makes a run to the bathroom and locks himself in a stall for at least 30 minutes.

He washes his hands and hand at least ten times, as if trying to wash away the thoughts of Atsushi.

They don’t leave.

--

Akutagawa is sitting at a table at the reception awkwardly, watching Kyouka and Atsushi dance from a distance with some others when Dazai approaches, taking a seat beside Akutagawa.

“You don’t look like you’re having a lot of fun, huh?” Dazai starts.

“... I’m having a hard time with feelings, but congratulations on your marriage. Please don’t let my feelings concern you,” Ryunosuke replied, looking back over at Dazai, “It’s supposed to be a happy day for you.”

Dazai smiles a bit, shaking his head. His attire isn’t much different outside of the flowers in his hair, and a new brooch on his chest. His coat has been forsaken somewhere, probably Kunikida’s car.

“Thank you, but your feelings won’t upset me. I know they don’t have a whole ton to do with me,” answered the brunette, “Your feelings have to do with the kitty cat over there, huh?”

Ryunosuke blushed, looking away from Dazai, “Don’t tell him.”

Dazai lets out a fake gasp, putting a hand to his chest, “Ah, I would never! For this is a Romeo And Juliet tale, a beautiful romance written by Shakespear himself! And yet, I am just a supporting character for sir Romeo.”

“If it wasn’t your wedding day, I would kick your ass.”

Dazai chuckles, “You should, anyway. But anyways, I hope things go well for you, blah, blah, blah, all the other shit you’ve probably already heard. You need anything?”

Akutagawa fell silent, shrugging as he looked back at Atsushi, smiling and laughing with Junichiro.

“I think I know what you need,” Dazai responds, standing up from his seat as he holds his arms out to Akutagawa, “A good, old fashion Dazai hug!” Akutagawa smiles a bit as he stands up, taking the hug from Dazai as he rests his head on his former mentor’s shoulder.

… Dazai’s hugs aren’t nearly as nice as Atsushi’s, but it feels nice to finally get attention from Dazai after all these years.

--

Fuck it, tiger lilies, Akutagawa thought, quickly pointing to them on the menu for the cashier to place the order. He paid for the flowers, and was given a date to pick up the flowers as Akutagawa left the flower shop, pulling out his phone and beginning to dial a familiar number.

“Kunikida Doppo speaking, what can I do for you?”

“How did you tell Dazai-san you liked him?

Kunikida sighed from the other end of the phone while Akutagawa starts his walk down to the train station, “Not even a hello?”

“Hello, Kunikida, how did you tell Dazai-san you liked him?” Ryunosuke quickly rephrased.

“Well, it’s difficult to say because I truly didn’t end up telling him.”

“So he was the one who confessed?” “In a way, yes. We are talking about Osamu here, he already figured out that I loved him through his connections to just about everyone in Yokohama. So what happened was Osamu invited me to dinner, told me he knew about my feelings, and that he returned them. We started dating shortly afterwards,” Kunikida explained.

“Ah, you had it easy... “ Akutagawa replied, nervously tapping his fingers on his knee, “... I can’t seem to get my love interest to pick up on my feelings. They’re oblivious.”

“Hmm, you’re in a tough spot, then.”

“I don’t know who to go to anymore… I’ve spoken to Dazai-san, Higuchi, my sister, now you…” Akutagawa sighed, “It seems like no matter what, they can’t seem to figure it out, and I don’t want to be super blunt about it either… That’s just embarrassing.”

Kunikida fell silent, “I have an idea. To understand someone who is oblivious, you should talk to someone who was oblivious. You should talk to Poe, Ranpo’s boyfriend, they were in a similar situation. Poe might be able to give you some advice.”

Akutagawa smiles a bit as his train arrives to get back to the agency, “Thank you, Kunikida, I’ll get to it. I have to go, have a good afternoon.”

--

“Jinko, please think about this for more than five seconds. Please,” Ryunosuke says sadly, watching Atsushi pause from walking into their shared kitchen with the tiger lillies Akutagawa had just bought for him.

Atsushi turns back to him, “Think about what?”

Ryunosuke feels himself freeze up, trying to quickly come up with a response before eventually stuttering something out, “N, nevermind. Don’t think about it.”

Atsushi gives him a strange look, and then shrugs as he goes to put the flowers in the vase, and Ryunosuke goes to make some tea. His heart aches as Akutagawa pulls down a tea bag, then coughing into his hand.

“You look upset,” Atsushi comments, standing besides Akutagawa. Akutagawa hadn’t even noticed that his face was scrunched up into something of hurt. It’s understandable, but now was not a good time for that.

“... Do you have any idea how long I’ve been trying to tell you this? You just keep brushing me off, if you don’t like me, please just say it,” he replied, the words fell out of his mouth without a thought. The moment he said it, Ryunosuke felt a wave of regret wash over him as he quickly tried to distract himself, continuing to make his tea.

There’s a moment of silence. Akutagawa can’t bear to even look at Atsushi, so scared of his response, scared to burst into tears just by looking at the other.

“... Ryunosuke. I like you a lot, you are my very best friend. I don’t know what you’re trying to say, though, and I can tell it’s hurting you,” Atsushi replied, his voice is calm and full of worry, “What are you trying to say?”

“Think about it. Just… Think about it, please, Atsushi. I’ve been so obvious, practically the whole agency knows,” Akutagawa pauses to rub his eyes on his sleeve.

Atsushi reaches out and places a hand on Akutagawa’s shoulder, spinning his friend around to look at him. Akutagawa’s eyes are watering as he holds his entire cup in his hand, then setting the cup down on the counter.

“Do you just… Not get it? What else do I have to do? Jinko, this is fucking ridiculous, we’ve been doing this for months now. Are you really this dense?” Ryunosuke said, to which Atsushi fell silent, not responding.

Akutagawa didn’t know what to say, just staring intently at Atsushi with his heart pounding when Atsushi reached out for Akutagawa, cupping his face in his hands and bringing their lips towards in a swift motion.

Ryunosuke is left in shock for a moment, he had never really kissed someone before. Higuchi kissed his cheek once, though that might be the most he’s ever gotten.

… Regardless, it’s nice. Akutagawa quickly relaxes against Atsushi, moving his hand over the one Atsushi has on his face.

And when Atsushi pulls away, Akutagawa has to resist from pulling him back into the kiss. Atsushi smiles at Akutagawa, he is still holding the other’s hand as he speaks.

“Was I right?”

Ryunosuke nodded, “Yes, you were.”

“I didn’t think you actually liked me back,” replied Atsushi.

“... Please say you’re joking.”

“I wish I was.”

Akutagawa chuckles, hiding his smile behind his hand, “Jinko, you are dense.”

Atsushi smiles once again as he pulls the other into a hug, “Yup!”

… They are not going to hear the end of this from Dazai.

[rieshon]

Best of 2018

Holy shit was this a hard year to write this. There were a few standouts that were always going to be at the top of this list, but that second tier of "really good" shows was really dense this year, and some series I absolutely loved weren't able to make the cut. Here are the ones that did.

10: Mitsuboshi Colors ∥ Silver Link. ∥ Dir. Kawamura Tomoyuki: Even as someone who watches children's anime, I have to say Mitsuboshi Colors was the purest celebration of childhood this year. Not only does this series let you see some of the most adorable girls this side of Ichigo Mashimaro, it really invites you to see their world through their eyes, creating a nostalgic and genuinely wholesome experience not common for anime series featuring little girls. Of course, there is still plenty on offer for the lolicons in the audience: Yui is too pure angel, and Sacchan is one of the best bokes of the year. Just remember: in the end, we're all poop.

9: Zombie Land Saga ∥ MAPPA ∥ Dir. Sakai Munehisa: If you told me a year ago one of the best shows of the year would be about moe zombies, even an anime veteran like myself would have been surprised. Yet here we are, where a show about moe zombie idols is not only one of the best shows of the year, but one of the best idol anime I can remember seeing. For what seems like it is going to be a one trick pony of a gag anime, the character development in Zombie Land Saga is shockingly good, from Junko's discovery of her own aidoru-do to Lily's whole thing with being transgender... This show really throws its weight behind its characters and that's what makes the completely-in-earnest idol anime aspects of it work so well. Moe zombies made me cry real tears, and I love anime.

8: Darling in the Franxx ∥ A-1 Pictures & Trigger ∥ Dir. Nishigori Atsushi: This is probably the biggest 'event anime' of the year on this list and it certainly was an adventure. Darling in the Franxx is an epic robot anime very much in the vein of its great predecessors: genuine sci-fi, attempts to be deep, and of course the always relevant themes of "parents just don't understand" and "puberty is hard." The heroines are wonderful, of course, and the characters' rather significant growth over the course of the series is compelling. It's the kind of show you'd expect from someone who had their hands deep in Gurren Lagann. It also features some great hand-drawn(!) robot action--visually, it's overall one of the best shows of the year. But sorry 57th prime minister of Japan Shinzo Abe, this will not increase Japan's birth rate.

7: SSSS.GRIDMAN ∥ Trigger ∥ Dir. Amemiya Akira: I'm honestly not sure which of the Trigger robot shows I enjoyed more; Gridman might just be higher because it's more recent, but it's probably fair to say it's the more "fun" show, what with it being an Ultra series spinoff and everything. Even though it gets pretty dark and deep towards the end, the series is definitely imbued with the playful spirit of tokusatsu. Hiding behind that, though, is a thematically solid series boasting a couple of fantastic female leads in Akane and Rikka. You're never going to be able to get me to stop shipping it.

6: Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight ∥ Kinema Citrus ∥ Dir. Furukawa Tomohiro: If I was rating series on style alone, Revue Starlight would probably be my anime of the year on the basis of the digital stage lighting effects alone. This show is both a sharp-edged satire of the cut-throat world of Japanese womens' theater and a love letter to the spectacle of the stage. It seems fitting that it would be a protege of Ikuhara Kunihiko's who would take on this project; the show's style is certainly evocative of Ikuhara, and that sort of ostentatious presentation is also perfectly evocative of theater, which is itself an inherently larger-than-life endeavor. Yeah, it's pretentious as hell, but that just makes me like it more. Style aside, there is also a good yuri anime lurking in the background (Japanese womens' theater is gay as fuck so there had to be) and Hikari definitely earns the right to be called "this show's Homura." Lots of good lesbians in this show.

5: Hanebado! ∥ Lidenfilms ∥ Dir. Ezaki Shinpei: Sports anime are not really my thing--I have no interest in watching Slam Dunk, Tennis no Oujisama, or 'the basketball which Kuroko plays,' but even so, is Hanebado! one of the best sports anime ever made? It's hard for me to imagine a better-executed tale of self-discovery through athletic competition. This is certainly the only sports anime I've seen where the audience is made to root against the protagonist in the sport because we're rooting for her outside of it. It also features stellar animation for the badminton parts that really sells the idea of badminton being 'the world's fastest racquet sport." Erena was the best girl though, and she doesn't even play badminton.

4: Sora Yori mo Tooi Basho ∥ Madhouse ∥ Dir. Ishizuka Atsuko: When the end credits finally rolled on Yorimoi, the first words that came to mind were "what a journey." I don't know if I've watched another show that made me feel so much like I had truly gone 'there and back again' with the heroes. The treasure really is the friends we found along the way, and you accompany these friends from the very beginning to the very end of their journey to and from Antarctica, watching them mature and learn things about each other and themselves... The result is a series that is immensely satisfying in a way few others are. Hanada Jukki's usual brand of sentimental melodrama is pitch perfect for a show like this, and I'd be lying if I said this show didn't make me cry on like four or five completely seperate occasions. Please let Ishizuka Atsuko direct more anime.

3: Yagate Kimi ni Naru ∥ Troyca ∥ Dir. Katou Makoto: I went into detail about what makes Yagakimi so great just a couple months ago, but suffice it to say this show is my favorite yuri anime of all time. The characters' relationships are just so genuinely fascinating, especially in a genre where 'will they or won't they' is often as far as the dramatic tension goes. It is really a show about two girls discovering themselves through each other, and it's just so beautifully done, especially when accompanied by Ooshima Michiru's soundtrack. I liked this story so much that I downloaded the manga to read through, and I don't even read manga.

2: Violet Evergarden ∥ Kyoto Animation ∥ Dir. Ishidate Taichi: Figures that a show I was so certain would suck would end up here. Violet is the only show this year that made me cry even more than Yorimoi, and although it's a little hamfisted about it at times, I love the earnestness with which it pursues its themes about loss and love. Violet is not just the interloper who allows us to experience the various stories happening around this world, but also a fascinating character to watch in her own right as she tries to learn what exactly it means to love someone. It's sappy and sentimental as hell, which is why I love it. It also has probably my favorite soundtrack of the year, courtesy of Evan Call, which I've probably listened to over a dozen times.

1: Yurucamp ∥ C-Station ∥ Dir. Kyougoku Yoshiaki: Cute girls taking it easy? Hell yeah. There's nothing on this Earth more comfy than watching these girls go camping in the gorgeous Japanese countryside and just being the best of friends. Shimarin is the best loner who absolutely knows how to live life, and all I want is to ride scooters and eat instant noodles with her. It's a cute girl anime of the utmost quality, and the only reason I still have a will to live is because a second season has already been confirmed.

1. Yurucamp 2. Violet Evergarden 3. Yagate Kimi ni Naru 4. Sora Yori mo Tooi Basho 5. Hanebado! 6. Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight 7. SSSS.GRIDMAN 8. Darling in the Franxx 9. Zombie Land Saga 10. Mitsuboshi Colors

Honorable mentions... Hinamatsuri is probably the show I feel worst about not including, given its hilarity and its surprisingly well-done themes on poverty and homelessness, but someone had to be 11th. Asobi Asobase was another comedy I wanted to include, another one which was riotously hilarious at times and also included one of the cutest girls of the year, Olivia. As far as joji anime this year go, Aikatsu Friends exceeded all my expectations to finally be the Aikatsu series I stuck with, and Aine and Mio are the ultimate lesbian idols. I also have to give a shoutout to the Seishun Butayarou show, which is exactly the kind of 'snappy dialogue and adolescence problems' show that makes me love series like Oregairu and ef.

The awards go to...

Best Actress: Ueda Reina as Shinjou Akane, SSSS.GRIDMAN. I've been a big fan of Ueshama's since she turned up as the ridiculous Ajimi-sensei in Pripara. She can do some vocal gymnastics and has a great comedic delivery, but it was fantastic to hear her dramatic chops really leveraged to their full potential in Gridman. I think Ueda has one of the sexiest voices going in the business today, and some of the segments in Gridman where her character tries to seduce the male lead were truly yabai... And of course the more emotional segments with Rikka were also immensely impactful. (Credit to Miyamoto Yume for also doing some great work as Rikka in that series.)

(Honorable mention: Touyama Nao as Shima Rin in Yurucamp. Naobou has been one of my favorites for a long time now but her work as Rin is probably my top role of her's. Her aloof delivery is just so perfect for the character and her voice makes the show even more comfy than it already was. It's like a voice you want to hug.)

Best Actor: Miyano Mamoru as the manager from the moe zombie show I guess. I give up on doing the men every year. Kono baka zombi.

Newcomer Seiyuu of the Year: Shiraishi Haruka. Behind pure acting ability, versatility must be the most desirous trait in a voice actor, and it really feels like Shiraishi can do it all. She's had a couple major roles before this year: Motoba Kirie in the Umaru series, and Ruri in Anhapi, but her three main roles this past year really highlight the breadth of her abilities. She was the cool and collected Asirpa in Golden Kamuy, the impudent loli Misha in Uchi no Meido ga Uzasugiru, and the sexy tsundere Kana in Animayell... Yeah, that's some diversity in performances. It seems like I'm seeing this girl's name pop up everywhere recently and it's easy to see why: she seems to be able to excel in almost any role. She has two more major parts lined up for later this year, and I'm excited to see what she can do yet.

(Honorable mention: Hondo Kaede. Man, it felt like this girl was everywhere this year. Wikipedia counts her as having had no less than eight major roles, and that's following on from a 2017 where she had three leading roles. She certainly has a flair for the dramatic: probably my favorite role of hers was as Kanami in Toji no Miko; in a show where the animation didn't often keep up with the demands of the story, strong voice acting from Hondo and her leading partner Oonishi Saori really helped carry the show. I also really enjoyed her as Kohaku in Irozuku Sekai no Ashita Kara... She doesn't get the award, though, because most of her major roles so far have tended to sound the same. I'd really like to hear her branch out beyond her standard voice.)