#attention without intention

[notbecauseofvictories]

I've now received four (four!!!) different copies of my fic, bound and illustrated by different artists---and there's still a deep, almost reverential feeling I get when I hold them in my hands, lay them out. Ironically for the subject matter, they feel decidedly holy. After all, where else am I going to get proof that I did this---even if "tell a story about music and the devil" is one of the sillier things you can do to occupy your time.

But to be less vague, this is the kind gift of @fleabitebooks / @kettle-bird! They reached out to me a few months ago, saying they wanted to bind my Devil Went Down to Georgia fic, and would I like a copy too? As I would never say no to a gift like that, I gleefully accepted.

If you've been following me long enough, you've seen their art in my Cornstalk Fiddle tag, and I am pleased to say that the images lose none of their power. I think the choice to stick to a limited color palette works beautifully here---the golden-yellow of the title pages and the larger art almost seeps through the paper. With the crisp lineart and shading, it ends up being both lovely and vaguely ominous, a sign of the eldritch things moving around/beneath the story.

(Also, I realize this is not a major aspect, but....I love how truly awkward-looking the Devil is. He looks like a Southern Gentleman, and I love that touch of weakness in his jaw.)

I also deeply adore some of the design choices---chapter 3 starting with the cornstalk fiddle and the triumphant starburst of golden-yellow? The white snakeskin-threaded-with-gold pattern used to bind the book? The way the paragraph breaks and endsheets are music? Amazing. Just amazing.

Maybe I should revise what I said above. Yes, having your silly fic about a country song turned into a physical book is proof that you did it, finished it---but it's also proof that someone else did too. In this case, @kettle-bird sat down with my fic and carefully copied it, played with fonts (oh, those are fantastic too by the way!) and spacings and margins; they drew art, colored it; laced the book together, made and bound the cover, then shipped it off to me.

Which means....if I did this, then I was hardly the only one.

[numberonetacostan]

he is down bad from moment one i love him.

[theoryofwhatnow]

nigel will go three entire months without so much as even smirking or letting happiness touch his eyes just to see a dead body or to get invited to go grave “exploring” with alex and will grin from ear to ear the entire walk there.

[ourstarsystem]

whoever decided that pedestrians should cross the street at the same time cars can turn should have their corpse dug out of their grave and beaten with baseball bats. im a pedestrian by the way

[jessamine-rose]

*lovingly tackles Aine*

Read my Yandere! Pierro longfics first ♪( ´▽｀)

Last week, my beloved mutual @ainescribe surprised me with Savior! Darling fan art and AHAI9232@2-!/! CRYING SCREAMING I WANT TO LOOK AT THIS ART AND WORSHIP YOUR VERSION OF SAVIOR THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BLESSING ME WITH YOUR ART—

*clears throat* Anyway, now that I finally have the time to properly sit down and comment on the fan art, I’ll do just that. Feedback will be in the tags and it will be unhinged. Once again, thank you so much to Aine for drawing this <3

[bitchfitch]

tbh I'm never going to stop being mad about the Manx syndrome that makes Manx cats manxes. It's an easily, Visually identifiable trait that causes the afflicted animal life long discomfort and mobility issues so severe many need specialized care and equipment to give them a normal life. And that isnt even taking into account how many die as kittens or who need to be put down because they'll never have the minimum quality of life needed to subject them to their difficulties.

there's 2 genes that can cause shortened tails/no tail in cats and while it's debatable how ethical the other one is, due to how important tails are for cat communication, the bobtail Gene is at least not devastating to the animals welfare. Unlike Manx syndrome it just causes the kittens to be born with fewer tail vertebrae. All the other vertebrae are unaffected.

Manx syndrome, in the more severe cases, which to be clear are the breed standard and are considered Desirable, cause the back half of the spine to fail to form correctly. This causes the cats to "hop like bunnies" bc their hind legs are partially paralyzed. they have severe nerve issues bc their spinal cord isn't fully encased in bone like it should be. The paralysis effects their guts too, making many of them incontinent or unable to relieve themselves properly. which leads to chronic UTIs and them needing frequent baths. which, they are cats, they do not like baths.

The main defense of the continued intentional breeding of manxes is that it is a naturally occurring mutation, as in its a landrace breed that initially happened on its own in the feral cat population on the island of mann. "if they were able to survive and reproduce under those conditions then surely it's ok" type of argument. A dominant trait spreading through a feral cat population on a small island that has no predators and plenty of small animal prey to eat, is not a defense. it's the law of large numbers.

[moomeecore]

im actually really good at admitting when i dont know things its just that people keep talking to me about things that i know a lot about and am objectively correct on

[notbecauseofvictories]

hello I just wanted you to know that I stumbled on your blog when I was a kid (I think it was through AO3?) and I looked at your "some things rats won't do" tag for law school adventures in awe, and now I'm a law student, and every so often I'll come back just to reassure myself that yes, the world is this weird, and it's okay to struggle a little bit. and I hope you are having a good day, and if not, then that the bad times end soon for you. stay warm and may all your cookies be perfect

Thank you, anon! Today I answered work emails and made cookies for our office holiday party, and---deliberately did not think, even a little bit, about how I've been posting on this blog since November 2011 or how that's almost 40% of my life right there.

The good news is that it is okay to struggle a little bit. With law school, definitely! But also just with being human. It's a complicated proposition, to be in the world.

Fortunately, sometimes there are cookies.

[hiddenbeks]

hello. i am finally finished with heidrun's playthrough. time to let her rest and move on to isabeau but not before i ramble abt dawnguard and dragonborn because i have thoughtsssss

first of all dawnguard was just as tedious as i remembered and i think i hate it a little now. it's literally just endless fetch quests and trips to and from fort dawnguard strategically situated in the most remote corner of the map they could find,, normally i don't fast travel but after the first couple quests i gave in and started taking carriages i just wanted to get it over with

the quest design is awful also. after you get valerica's scroll the game tells you to travel alllll the way back to fort dawnguard and only after you've travelled allllll the way you find out dexion has gone blind and you're sent running around the map Again. instead they could have like... had dexion warn you about going blind when reading serana's scroll and this could have prompted you to seek an alternate way to read valerica's. as a moth priest he knows the consequences. or the dawnguard could have sent someone to deliver a message that dexion has gone blind and we need to figure out something else. because obviously they would have noticed him going blind. but these characters have 0 agency and they don't do shit unless you are present i guess!! things only progress when You are there to progress them!!!!!!

man whatever. anyway. it's not like dawnguard is all bad. i like the characters i like pondering the dynamics between heidrun and isran and serana. there is actual character writing in the questline. it's still pretty thin but compared to the rest of the game it's... something. i also liked that vyrthur was something of a foil to heidrun... vyrthur was infected with vampirism and heidrun was infected with lycanthropy... vyrthur was abandoned by auri-el and heidrun was abandoned by stendarr... vyrthur wanted vengeance or whatever but heidrun was (for the most part) able to move on... much to ponder

overall i prefer dragonborn because of the vibe and atmosphere and the fact that it's more contained and set in a whole separate area from the rest of the game. also the fact that it feels more grounded? weird to say considering all the Everything that happens but like dawnguard is all grand castles and vampire prophecies and whatever. also idc abt vampires. in dragonborn you get to meet the ordinary people of raven rock and the skaal and you get to help them and free them of miraak and it's nice :) and you can hang out with some werewolves too <3

however i think the character writing is what's lacking in dragonborn. they could have explored miraak and his background and motivations so much more as well as like the whole first and last dragonborn thing... what do they have in common... what sets them apart from each other... etc. like the bones are there there's clearly the setup for you vs ancient evil more powerful you and it's a fascinating concept except they don't really do anything with it on a writing level. you never even have a conversation with miraak he just taunts you a couple times and then you fight him. and herma mora kills him. ok

another massive issue i have with the writing is the fact that on several occasions different characters say that working for herma mora is the only way to stop miraak. frea says it storn says it you yourself are forced to say it at points where it's the only dialogue option given and i hate it!!!! at no point does anyone even suggest an alternative. like how do you all know it's the only way?? no one even thinks of trying anything else before deciding that a questionable pact with the daedric prince of fate and forbidden knowledge is the only option?? it's like... the writers couldn't be bothered or weren't given the time to think of any alternatives (or they had the time but todd didn't like their ideas idk) but if the game just repeats "this is the only way" enough it passes for solid writing. i hate it

and the only reason to work for herma mora is so that he will teach you one (1) word of the bend will shout. so that you can tame miraak's dragon. so that you can fly to the summit of apocrypha and challenge him there. this is absolutely the only way to defeat miraak. idk what if there was a way to challenge him elsewhere? you could force him to come out of apocrypha for example? herma mora says that in order to be as powerful as miraak and surpass him you Must learn the full bend will shout but you literally don't even need the shout in the fight against him you only need it once in order to ride his dragon like,,,,,,h gf jhkjfghjkdj the railroading. i fucking hate the railroading. i don't need a clunky new dragon riding mechanic why not let me just climb to the summit of apocrypha as a massive fuck you to herma mora. i think that would be hilarious actually

[heroesriseandfall]

I already knew the new 52 batfam timeline sucks but having them side by side in my timeline spreadsheets really hones it in. They really tried to fit ALL of the Robins (minus Steph) into a time span that is barely longer than how long just Tim was Robin in-universe before Flashpoint.

[barnesbvcky]

i feel like im catching up to something soooo late,, but it has come to my attention that Damon smiles at Bonnie??? not his usual Damon smirk— ugh the annoying thing— but he actually smiles??

i think im gonna be sick— I can’t be enjoying Damon and Bonnie. Bonnie deserves so much better.

[violet-and-honey]

One day of no tik tok or Instagram and I can feel my brain healing.

[caifanes]

the crux of babygate is that louis was the LAST person people expected to have a scandal like that. it was kinda silently understood that zayn, liam, niall and to an extent, depending on your pov, harry were all sleeping with ppl casually for years. on the outside, louis’ two options were his relationship with his long term gf…. or larry. he never had any major scandals with eleanor, no baby scare or cheating rumors, and he was lauded and played the role well as a doting committed bf. so for louis, who was either really good at keeping secrets or genuinely made an irresponsible decision, it really messed with everyone’s perception, more than drugs or partying. there are so many things we would not know if not for ppl digging around but there’s just as much that we don’t know… no one could keep the baby under wraps? i think it just comes down to louis fucking up and deciding to take responsibility for it.

[bluehairmisfit]

I am really tired of people arguing with me because I’m not professionally, officially diagnosed with autism.

I get that I could be wrong.

My autistic friends see me as one of them even though I don’t have a piece of paper saying so. My therapist understands the barriers to diagnosis that are holding me back. My doctor says “I think you’re autistic, but your insurance won’t cover an assessment and the resources you’d have access to are things you can access with your ADHD diagnosis.”

But people on the interwebs still say “you can’t call yourself autistic until you have a diagnosis. Self-diagnosis is invalid.”

Self-diagnosis is invalid, they say, but I can’t access professional diagnosis. I can’t afford it.

What do they want me to do, exactly?

[pinguuu-ni]

you know what, mappas been so consistent in their Gojo one eye Satoru agenda that I'm starting to think this really might be foreshadowing for something

[dumbdomb]

image of my tags from reblog, which read: it ain't women's lingerie if a man's wearing it though. that's men's lingerie now. and he looks real good in 'em too. 😘

hey, that's cool. nothing wrong with women wearing women's lingerie. i responded in tags with additional positivity about men wearing lingerie. my pov was that clothes are pointlessly gendered and my tags reflect the position that if a man is wearing lingerie, then he could feel good about it as a man. your response changes the original post, which was not about women, but i hold the same position i wrote in my tags: if a woman is wearing lingerie, then it's women's lingerie and she'd look real good in 'em too. 💖

thinks abyout men in women's lingerie and runs fast as fuck face first into a brick wall