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traumxrei-archive · 1 year

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【 book 6 pt. 2 thoughts ! (4) 】

woagh a whole post for JUST 6-66 ?? more likely than you think !! (also this is legit just 6-66 until the 14th node / sector 6 for each group bc. it was getting so long)

[ spoilers for 6-66 under the cut ! ]

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[ about : pome tower, START ! ]

ok i'm starting off with pomefam after playing eenie meenie miney moe bc ya boi indecisive. it's quite interesting that the door to the elevator didn't open, considering ortho said he would "play" with all of them. ok omg nvm the door opened.

the fact that ortho's quantifying everyone's resistance against their plan as a part of a game, as a part of "NRC quest", despite the fact that they will SURELY die first if the phantoms are released into the world... it's kinda morbid, bc it shows that ortho can't think that far into the future, and sees the world in an undeniable black and white. (also...what the hell is idia thinking ? trying to free og ortho ???)

o man, not star rogue again :'))) the way i died SO FAST from the bullets ough. but i think we're supposed to Not Beat It. and vil being like "the insufferable way you're speaking reminds me of idia..." and ortho's like all sunshine and rainbows because "i take after my brother, hehe~" like guys. help.

....ME WHEN I'M STRUGGLING WITH STAR ROGUE AGAIN. i swear to god i'm just bad at dodging when the boss is there T^T update: after playing this shit a fourth time, I WON !!

[ about : pomefam's heart to heart (?) ]

ok ppl might think that vil is being harsh, but literally everyone else kinda had their vice housewarden / second in command put in charge in their absence (jade, trey, kalim, ruggie...) but pome's only got rook. and even then, rook left someone else in charge in the middle of all the chaos. as a vice housewarden, rook's responsibility was towards making sure that the pomefiore students were okay + running the dorm in vil's stead until he returns.

and the way he scolds epel n yuu too, obviously he's not saying it because he wants to berate them. it's mostly because had something went wrong (and there was a HIGH chance of something going wrong) then it probably would've been epel or yuu who got hurt...

he makes a distinction between what he says as housewarden and as vil schoenheit and sniff. he was HAPPY. oughhh he was so happy to see them wtf and people say that vil hates epel and rook ?? guys where is your proof, look at how happy he is to see them !!

guys. i'm not saying anything. but i'm also saying everything. bc A HUG AND KISS FROM VIL SCHOENHEITTTT OUGH UGH AUGH *minecraft damage noises* guyssss the hearts the hearttttttsssss the way he kissed yuuuu aaaaaa

this line has me passing aaawwwwayyyyyyy aaaaaaaaa

(also i've noticed, vil stopped correcting epel's accent !! he swaps between the formal speech and his accent a bunch of times and vil's just chilling. probably because they don't have their deal anymore from back when sdc was a thing.)

[ about : epel's UM talk ]

i love just how proud rook and vil are of epel's achievements in STYX ^^ like, they very obviously manifested their own UMs earlier than epel, but they don't judge, and instead they're just very elated for him >:DD rook being disappointed that his eyes weren't cameras bc he wanted to show vil epel's UM awakening is such a mood jskfjkdsf

[ about : phantoms ]

lowkey, the first phantoms are tiny ? are these how normal phantoms are supposed to look ? bc all the ob gang's phantoms are HUGE and they have real bodies too, not just the blot head or whatever the glass vial part is called. (also i think the bottom phantom might be based off king midas ? crown and gold bars n all. idk about the first guy)

[ about : the underworld ]

"it's easy to get into the underworld, but once you're in, there's no getting out." does that mean that somehow og ortho got through the door of the underworld ? and bc they can't open the door, they couldn't get him out ever ? i think it's true bc og ortho says "everyone's gonna be so surprised when i make my return." meaning he's probably been waiting for a chance to escape this whole time.

[ about : grim sniff ]

I MISS GRIM....WHERE IS SON.... the way they're talking about him,,,they're all so endeared and they hope he's okay. rook reassuring yuu that grim wasn't conscious when he attacked them bc he knows grim would never attack yuu. and grim being picky about getting his nails trimmed,,,,just like a cat frrrr

[ about : rookvil first meeting lore...? ]

NOT US GETTING LORE COCKBLOCKED BY ANOTHER CONTAINMENT FACILITY— I'LL BE COMING BACK HERE WHEN THEY FINALLY TELL THE STORY

[ about : second trial ]

HUHH ??? ORTHO KIDNAPPED A PERSON AND LOCKED THEM UP WITH A KEYCARD ??? THE FUCKKKKKK—

ok wait let's think calmly. how the hell did underworld ortho manage to grab someone...? all researchers are either at HQ or fleeing to the edge of the city, so how did he conveniently get someone AND manage to lock them in a phantom cage..... the charon's could've helped ig but they're all set to terminate so this is sus indeed....

I FUCKENKNEW IT !! SHE WAS A PHANTOM WHO'S ACTING ALL ALONG !! as we progress further down, we're gonna meet bigger and more dangerous phantoms, so it makes sense that some phantoms are able to mimic a human's cries for help in order to trick them. and they're growing more sentient too, she could voice her thoughts.

[ about : earth titan ]

wowowowow talk about scary looking !! tbh its interesting that there's three elements for earth, water, and fire, but no null phantom (e.g. a light or dark phantom).

[ about : thunderspear !! ]

tbh it looks so fucken sick like i would want to have one of these irl. also i love how the code is titanomachia,,,,all the mythology parallels are NOT escaping me. titanomachia was the series of wars between the titans and the olympians, so it's fitting that they're fighting the earth titan with "jupiter's spear".

[ about : pomefam celebration !! ]

LET'S GAURRRR THEY DID ITTT !! also not epel's stomach grumbling skull emoji,,,,,it HAS been hours since they've had food but it's so funny :')))) i hope they have a good and restful picnic after all that hard work they went through <333

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[ about : azurid tower, START ! ]

ooo it's interesting to hear that blot can interfere with using magic,,,,azul mentions that they can't use flight magic due to blot density... also i absolutely love how the beginning is legit azul just having a monologue jKSJDFKSJS my boy i love you <333 and riddle just. not listening. and going ahead....i wonder if this team is gonna be okay. they seem to be the type to disagree a lot so what would happen...?

azul: hmm, why would ortho make the elevator turn on ? what an obvious trap that even an idiot will avoid....

riddle, not an idiot: so the enemy is offering us a way into their stronghold....alright, i accept their challenge

azul: NO WAIT—

god not riddle. getting riled up enough to try and blast through the doors as if they aren't about to encounter monsters left and right after they clear the elevators :'))))) riddle i love you and all, but your foresight needs work.

[ about : will they ever stop arguing ? ]

help me please someone stop them from arguing for one second before they get blasted into pieces or something sniff :')))) bc this exchange was about to make me throw my phone sjkfjskdf like guys. there's merit in what both of you are saying, but i'm the type to be more cautious so i agree with azul on this one, riddle TT^TT

at this point both their prides are gonna get in the way of making sound judgements, riddle might run himself dry on magic, and azul's gonna have to help him out or else they both d word. they're both leaders, so obviously none of them prefer to take orders from others.

[ about : riddle got hurt ]

arghhh what kind of fanfiction trope kdrama arc are they having rn !! the arguing, and then riddle getting injured but still insisting that he did it bc he has to protect azul, and then azul getting angry bc he doesn't want to be seen as dead weight, and wants to be seen as equals....give these guys an oscar already :')))

[ about : AZUL.... ]

NOT HIM CALLING RIDDLE WEAK AND THEN HARDHEADED WITHIN THE SPAN OF TWO SECONDS.....

[ about : researcher ]

omg there's a legit researcher in here this time, and ortho used one of the armored dudes to get her down there.....interesting indeed, he's already willing to hurt innocent people who AREN'T standing in his way just to play his game.

[ about : magma titan ]

them working together to spear down the magma titan...about damn fucking time :')))))) riddle aiming while azul keeps it steady bc he's stronger !!! finallyyy !!!! teamwork !!!

[ about : !! their celebration !! ]

THEY'RE SO HAPPY WAHHH !! riddle screaming for joy and azul joining him omg please this is the teamwork i was looking for >:DD they highfived ?? or hugged or something ?? friendship is actually friendshipping frrrr and then instantly being reminded of their image and springing apart,,,,typical of them two T^T

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[ about : leojami ]

and finally, team leojami is last. first of all, NOT LEONA YEETING ONE OF JAMIL'S HAIR ACCESSORIES DOWN TARTARUS ???? HELP MEEEE ????? JAMIL'S FACE. HE LOOKS SO NOT PLEASED. also i love how fake jamil's comeback was and how leona's outright "i don't buy that shady ass smile for a SECOND—"

and oh ?? the doors to their elevators was open ?? these two are the smart-asf duo, so the fact that they knew ortho was waiting for them doesn't surprise me. (also even with no obligation, jamil keeps trying to protect leona. like leona's more than capable but ig his past tutelege is popping out rn)

NAH. tell me why leona just threatened to rip out the shrouds' hair and ortho went "we're really REALLY looking forward to this, after all." WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN RRRAHH (and the emo music ?? hellooo ??)

[ about : video game mentality ]

yea like...this whole time, ortho's been treating this like a game. as if the world isn't actually real life. he talks about "resetting" the world by letting all the phantoms out and overrunning it with blot. but he did not ONCE talk about the amount of chaos and destruction that it would cause.

it's like...the best way i can explain is it's like playing gta and stealing cars. obviously you wouldn't do it in real life, but bc it's a game and the game is fiction, you do it anyway. and sometimes you'd make a save point, try something silly, get killed, and then respawn again at your save point. but that's obviously NOT possible in real life.

he didn't even stop once to think that these people he's calling "friends" are probably going to get killed by the phantoms if they do escape OR the fact that when they're getting injured fighting these phantoms, that they're actually getting injured. or even the fact that he himself might get killed, or that idia might get killed.

in reality, this isn't a "game" to anyone other than underworld ortho.

[ about : jamil's uneeded considerations ]

yk at this point i was expecting leona to get mad at jamil for trying to coddle him ? but he hasn't. which is interesting. bc jamil keep saying things like "get behind me" or "i'll protect you" but leona doesn't really...need it. royalty as he is, leona's probably got far better training that jamil has, so he'd be just as if not more competent in battle than jamil is. so i was expecting him to throw his weight a little bit, but he's been pretty calm and giving logical reasons as to why he shouldn't do that.

(e.g. jamil offering his jacket bc they're both weak to cold, and leona saying it'd be more troubling if jamil came down with a cold and couldn't move, rather than just leaving it at no.)

obviously jamil's trying to avoid anything happening to leona (e.g. injury) bc he would be "blamed" for it if it DID happen (i.e. it'd be his failure to protect leona) since he's the second prince and all....but holy hell man, this guy's your senior, and you read the report about him, he's hella strong, so dw abt him bestie

[ about : worried about school ]

jamil being worried because kalim and mal are the only housewardens left behind....vs leona "they can take care of themselves" kingscholar. need i remind you guys this is the guy who before he was taken away said "ruggie, savanaclaw's in your hands until i get back. don't let it fall into ruin." like. pfft. who is he trying to fool ?? (obviously jamil, he has to keep up his "idgaf" facade but it's still funny to me)

[ about : cross ?? wind ?? ]

wtf are these guys, they're analyzing WIND patterns while walking and having conversations ?? the fuck ??? and then them noticing the tiny ass crack from far away ???? ok if i had to be stuck with anyone other than pome ig my safest bet would be these guys,,,,,

[ about : leona about jamil's one-man act ]

ok here we go, they're "arguing" though it really does pale in comparison to azul and riddle's arguements... (azurid are like the loud screaming at each other type of arguers and leojami are the quiet and logical type of arguers)

leona acknowledges that jamil is strong, but he also cautions against being reckless,,,,especially because they've both overblotted before, it'd be a nightmare if they get contaminated again. and obviously, they're a team. if jamil goes down then leona's left to fight on his own, which would be a sure loss.

[ about : containment facility 1 ]

shit fuck shit shit they were so smart that they made ortho make their FIRST containment facility harder than it had to be. (also not leona...calling the shroud family dour....i'm not laughing. i'm not !!) they're legit the only group that had the whole password thing,,,i'm crying on their behalf :')))

[ about : do ur best !! ]

THAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY. but also oh my gooooddd ortho knows JUST how to annoy each person and each group huh. making leojami go through all of that for their password to basically just be "do ur best tee hee" is just. evil.

[ about : jamil WHEEZE ]

NOW WHY WOULD HE SAY IT LIKE THAT I LOVE THEM SO MUCH SJFKJSDKF i never knew i needed jamil and leona to interact this bad but now that i have it i'm having the time of my life. two of my faves who are just. similar in some ways but a lot different. this is giving me so much serotonin.

but jamil is right, the earlier ortho had only the purest of intentions with his every action. even when he was indirectly making fun of leona, he just meant that he thought leona would enjoy the game more bc he's a lion beastman, not bc he's a cat.

obviously us as the reader know that this isn't "just ortho" and that it's underworld ortho, who used to be a human, i'm assuming. thus why he got angry at leona calling him a robot. meanwhile, normal ortho would probably start boasting abt how he's the most advanced and capable robot bc he knows and doesn't care that he's a robot.

thus furthering my "underworld ortho is actually idia's real brother who died a bunch of years ago and got stuck in the underworld and current ortho is just an android modeled after him made by idia, but now underworld ortho somehow took control of current ortho" theory.

[ about : arguing :00 ]

ok i keep commenting about their arguing. but man it took a LOT for leona actually to get mad at jamil for something. he only really started getting mad when jamil got in the way of his "plan". which, to be very fair, he should've said something. bc jamil doesn't have beastman senses, how was HE supposed to know that leona sensed one and that he had a plan to combat it ?

also not jamil hiding his injury.....sir...... and not him NOT getting leona's words and continuing the "i will protect you" act pLEASE— tbh from leona's words it's not very clear, but he's trying to work together here. like he's trying to increase their chances of a winning fight, and yea communication is key, but jamil keeps ignoring his words in favor of "protecting" him.

[ about : containment facility 2 ]

oh god, here we go, why do we have another trial :'))) how did this get worse ?? first, using a phantom that can mimic human voices. and then putting a REAL researcher into a cage (no phantom, but with a charon armor). and now ?? tying a guy to a cage and making him almost drown in coolant ??? with the CABLE that controls the openings and closings of the facility ????

they...they really pissed ortho off huh.

[ about : stand up. ]

are you. telling me this guy was sitting the whole time or something. instead of just standing up in the water ? shakes him 1000 times....head in hands.

[ about : king's roar appreciation ]

nah are we all gonna ignore how leona was able to precisely turn ALL the ice in the air and around them into sand ??? the amount of control that would take oml, how much did he train to be able to do that ??

[ about : thunder spear timeee ]

jamil making the call not to register his handprints because he KNOWS he can't handle the magical energy rolling off the spear and choosing to rely on leona,,,,helloooo we have some developmentttt ^^ jamil's not sacrificing uselessly in this case !!

jamil realizing that he made the right call, bc if he registered himself he'd probably need leona's help to aim/hold it up. meanwhile leona saying he can "barely hold it up" vs the others who had like. 2-3 people helping them prop it up and aim,,,,sir i think you're plenty powerful enough.

also comparing the pictures to the ones above is making me throw up, bc the others are like. holding it a meter-ish above the ground. meanwhile leona has it hoisted up high above his head with PERFECT AIM mind you.

whew made it to recharging all the spears ^^ (technically the others minus leojami have been done for days but shhhh) see you again later ig sjkfdjskf

#/trau rambles #rrahhh more book 6 be upon ye #twst book 6 #twisted wonderland #i'm too tired to type out the characters #but did you see my boys (leojami)#they're so cool #i loved watching them do their thing <333

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rayshippouuchiha · 1 year

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*rolls up sleeves* buckle in peeps, this is gonna be long. as promised, pics of all the yarn at and related things to it! Also Ray, fellow void, if you want anything in particular, just holler at me. 👍First the wips!

From left to right: pillow cover in checkerboard stitch using bulky super wash merino wool (cause I wanted to try something new) blanket for stepdad in bamboo stitch with acrylic yarn blanket for mom in broken rib stitch ( I wanna have this done by mother's day but I dunno yet), also in acrylic,and place mat for a friend in basic garter stitch, again in acrylic.

Next is completed stuff!

From left to right: scarf in stockinette stitch for my sis, who likes it despite me being a picky bitch about how it got out of control and definitely not what I intended, argh. Also it's hard to see, but there's beads in there as well. 2nd pic is headband (need to seam the ends together actually), and 2 dishcloths (the holes are intentional on the blue one, since I knitted that diagonally). Then dishtowel in woven stitch, potholders in.. I think I did moss stitch on those. And a facecloth in sand stitch. Then dishtowel in 2x2 rib stitch. I don't remember what I did for the dishcloths, but I DO remember kicking myself cause if I'd thought of it earlier I could've put beads in the pink part to make them watermelon-themed! All of the kitchen-type items were made from cotton/cotton blends. I also have another stack of completed kitchen-type stuff for relatives and friends, but I don't have pics of them at the moment.

Last but not least, the yarn hoard! The stack of 5 cakes was the recent order that was on sale and will eventually become a blanket for my sis. The small tubs are super wash merino wool skeins, they will become various things once I figure out exactly what I wanna make. 🤷‍♀️ so many ideas and patterns, and I'm so indecisive, augh. The tub beneath it is acrylic/acrylic blends, then there's the cotton/cotton blends with a needle case full of spare needles. Last tub is regular wool that was a gift from my mom, a sick kit, and yarn that's was a gift from a nurse I work with (she crochets!) who received it from someone and didn't know what to do with it, asked if I wanted it, and said if i couldn't/didn't want to use it, I could always pass it along as well. And then there's the little roller shelf cart that I keep by my chair so I can organize things while I work on them, and a hat kit! Which I will attempt at some point once I finally get the hang of knitting in the round! Which is supposed to be easy but my fingers don't like to cooperate sometimes! 😒 there are some people who may say that all that yarn isn't necessary, that I may have a problem. To which I say lies and slander and I DON'T have a problem I can stop anytime I want, really. <.<; I was always an arts and crafts kid anyway, this is just...a bigger version of that and I get to make useful things! 😀

Babe!!! Babe!!! you've got so many gorgeous projects going on and so much gorgeous yarn in stock!!

Seriously the color choices you're throwing down are superb!! Everything looks so fucking good!!

And the completed stuff!?! Seriously fantastic too. And I agree with the watermelon thing. They turned out great as is but they would have been beyond cute with the beads in !! Hey that's always something you can go for next time.

I love seeing your art like this because you're doing so good!!

#RayRambles #yarn art #long post

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myaekingheart · 3 years

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139. Clumsy

read the scarecrow and the bell on ao3 index | from the beginning | < previous | next >

When Lady Tsunade asked to see her in the hokage’s office on a Saturday morning, Rei wasn’t quite sure what else she had expected. Word travels fast in Konoha, and even faster among the hospital staff. The hokage was bound to find out eventually. Still, Rei had hoped—naively so—that she would have been granted just a little more time. She wasn’t ready for this. Not yet. She wondered for a moment if she could just feign sickness, a sorry excuse to avoid confrontation. Standing over the sink now, hands shaking and face pale, she knew she wouldn’t have to try very hard to begin with.

But no. She could not procrastinate any longer. Time refused to stop for her and her indecision. The sooner she got this over with, the better. Gritting her teeth, Rei forced herself to move, to reach for her toothbrush in the cup by the sink. Her trembling hands betrayed her, however, and her faulty grip led to a domino effect of clutter spilling across the counter and onto the floor. Rei cursed under her breath and scrambled awkwardly, clumsily, to grab as much as she could. Bottles of mouthwash and shaving cream, razors and makeup brushes and toothpaste, all tumbled down with a chaotic crash.

Immediately, Kakashi skidded into the doorway with a frantic look on his face. “Rei, what happened? Are you okay?” he asked. Before she could even answer, he swooped in to help her gather their things. His movements were so quick, so decisive. A stark contrast to the way Rei’s limbs warped and lagged.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it” Rei muttered sourly. “Just me fucking shit up again, per usual.”

Kakashi frowned. “What did you even do?” he asked, and Rei couldn’t tell whether he was disappointed or concerned. Either way, her blood boiled at the inquiry.

“All I was trying to do was brush my dumbass teeth, but our bathroom is such a fucking catastrophe, I just—augh!” she groaned, and slammed her forehead against the edge of the counter in defeat.

“You were…going to brush your teeth before breakfast…?” Kakashi cocked a brow.

Rei paused, blinked. “I swear to fuck” she muttered under her breath. She clenched her jaw and reached up toward the counter so as to slam the toothbrushes violently back into their cup.

Kakashi sighed and shook his head. Over the past few days, something had changed within his fiancée. Her mind had grown so cloudy, her acuity blunt and hazy. Even the most basic of tasks required utmost care and concentration and even then, she still faltered. He hated seeing her like this. She was a captain of the ANBU black ops, for heaven’s sake. He knew she was better than this. Helping her back up to her feet, Kakashi frowned and asked, “Rei, what’s gotten into you?”

The question infuriated her. What had gotten into her? How dare he even ask. Shoving him away, she spat, “Your fucking sperm is what’s gotten into me, Kakashi.” Anger rose up in the back of her throat and her head had started to pound. She could feel her rapid heartbeat in her hot, ringing ears. As she stormed off toward the dresser, the whole world warped technicolor. The floor swayed beneath her and the walls vortexed and she suddenly felt as if her brain had astral projected straight out of her skull. She reached a hazy hand out to the nearest piece of furniture in an attempt to steady herself, her knees buckling beneath her weight, but found herself stumbling into Kakashi’s strong arms instead. He guided her to the bed and sat her down gently on the edge.

Rei vibrated with urgency, eyes darting around the room in an attempt to discern what needed to be done next. All her thoughts jumbled into radio static. Kakashi took hold of her trembling hands, squeezing them lightly in reassurance. Toshio lumbered nearer to rest his head by her side. A small whimper pushed it’s way through Rei’s nose as her heart picked up the pace, rattling against her ribs. Every nerve in her body tingled and numbed.

“Rei, just breathe” Kakashi murmured, brushing the bangs back out of her face. He wondered if her anxiety attacks were worse now than ever before, if the pregnancy hormones had only enhanced the inner chaos.

“Don’t tell me what to do, Kakashi” she spat.

“I’m only trying to help” Kakashi frowned.

“I don’t need your help” she replied, even though she knew that was a lie. This loss of independence, this spinning in her head and pounding in her chest, only emphasized the cognitive dissonance screaming in her subconscious. She squeezed Kakashi’s hand, begged her body to move, but she was paralyzed.

“Rei, just tell me what’s going on” Kakashi said. “What’s gotten you so worked up?” And that was the other point of contention: Rei had not told Kakashi of what was to come that morning. She had received Lady Tsunade’s summon the morning after the doctor’s appointment. Kakashi had been away on a low-rank mission; she had intended to tell him when he got home, but she couldn’t stomach speaking it into existence. She knew deep down that if she tried to verbalize what was being asked of her, the promise of the ultimate confrontation, all she would produce was anxious vomit. Rei had no other choice but to swallow it down, keep it to herself, in hopes that her own avoidance might make it disappear. Realistically, she knew that it would not.

“K-Kakashi…” Rei finally croaked after a long stretch of silence. Kakashi looked to her expectantly. She swallowed back her fear now, forced herself to power onward. “Lady Tsunade asked me to see her this morning. I know exactly what’s going on. She knows, Kakashi. Sh-she has to know. And…and I don’t think I can handle it. I don’t think I can handle any of this…!”

“Shh, Rei, it’s okay” Kakashi whispered, cupping her face in his hand. He caressed her cheek softly with his thumb. “You have nothing to worry about, I promise. Everything is going to be fine.”

“Y-You keep saying that, Kakashi, but how can you know?” Rei exclaimed, borderline hysterical. “Kakashi, I’m barely even functional anymore by myself, let alone dealing with something like this! I don’t know what the fuck is wrong, I don’t know what’s going on, I just—Kakashi, I can’t do this”—here, she pounded her fist against her thigh in frustration. “I can’t do any of this.” Her voice cracked and her eyes glossed over, threatening tears. Her lower lip quivered and she gagged into the palm of her hand, her breathing desperate and unsteady. Kakashi quickly climbed up onto the bed beside her and pulled her into his arms. He could feel the haphazard beat of her heart, the anxious shivers slowly creeping over her body. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this, Kakashi. What if Lady Tsunade is pissed at me? Sh-she’s going to be so pissed at me. I-I made a promise, and now I have to break it. A-and how am I supposed to tell my team?! Oh god, th-they’re never going to forgive me! I said I would guide them, a-and now…now I have to break that promise, too. I just…I feel so fucking out of control, I can’t get a fucking grip on anything. I-I can’t focus. I can’t do anything right, I just—Kakashi, please…”

Pursing his lips, Kakashi hugged Rei even closer to his chest, raked his fingers through her tangled hair. His lips brushed against her sweaty forehead. “Just take one thing at a time, Rei” he whispered. “You don’t have to do everything all at once.”

Rei shook her head. “Th-that doesn’t mean anything” she argued, wiggling around uncomfortably in his arms. “I need a plan, Kakashi. I need…I need to fucking focus, but…but I can’t even do that right!” Defeated, she buried her face in his chest, clung to his shirt with a white-knuckle grip. “I just feel so out of control…I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

“What do you mean?” Kakashi asked. He wasn’t sure he liked the sound of that.

Rei pulled back, wiped the tears from her face. “Kakashi, I don’t feel like myself anymore” she admitted. She kept her eyes firmly locked on his sternum, knowing that if she dared to meet his gaze, she would completely lose it. Her hand skated down to her stomach, pressed her palm gently against the waist of her pants. “I just…I feel like my body doesn’t belong to me anymore. I just feel…so fucking weird. I can’t focus, I can’t think. I feel different, a-and I look different…”

“I don’t think you look any different” Kakashi assured her. And truly, he didn’t. She was still the same bright, beautiful woman he woke up to every morning. If nothing else, the knowledge of her pregnancy somehow made her even more beautiful to him—though even he wasn’t sure how that was possible.

Rei’s crooked teeth bit down on her chapped lower lip. “N-No, you don’t get it, Kakashi” she shook her head. “I look at myself in the mirror and…and I’m starting to not even recognize myself. I-I feel like I’m in someone else’s body, I-I don’t know…” Her voice quivered with equal parts fear and confusion, as if she was struggling to even put these feelings into words.

Kakashi furrowed his brows. “Rei, that doesn’t really make any sense” he replied. He hated that he didn’t understand it, but he hated even more seeing her hysterical over something so abstract and overblown. “Rei, you’re just the same as you always were. The only difference is that your body is doing something incredible. But just because things are changing, that doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself in the process. Does that make sense?”

That’s easy for you to say, Rei thought to herself. You’re not the one metamorphosizing.

“Come on” Kakashi then said, rising to his feet. He extended a hand to help Rei up. “Let’s go get something to eat and then I’ll walk you to the hokage office.”

Rei shook her head. “I’m not hungry” she replied. Not even five seconds later, her stomach retaliated with a monstrous growl. Rei dropped her gaze to the floor, pursed her lips, cursed her body. Kakashi lifted her to her feet and guided her to the kitchen, sitting her down at the table before making her a bowl of tamago kake gohan.

He watched her poke at the raw egg yolk with her chopsticks, knees drawn up to her chest and a look of defeat on her face. Toshio whimpered at her side, desperate for a taste. “Rei, you need to eat” he told her.

“How the fuck do you even expect me to eat at a time like this, Kakashi?” Rei asked. “I told you, I’m not hungry. And even if I was, I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down anyway. Do you really want me to puke all over the hokage’s office? Do you really want me to make things ten times worse? Because honestly, just looking at this shit is making me want to puke.” She stabbed the tip of her chopstick into the egg yolk, watched it explode and flow over the rice like a mucusy tsunami. Pressing her hand to her mouth, she shoved the bowl across the table and swallowed back the gag pressing into her throat.

Sighing, Kakashi rubbed his temples and dropped his shoulders in defeat. He hated that she had a point. He knew her stomach had been finicky lately. He knew she had no control over when and where she felt sick. And at a time like this, she really didn’t need any more stress on her shoulders. And yet he couldn’t stand the thought of letting her go hungry.

Before he could protest further, Rei leapt to her feet and began tugging on her sandals at the front door. “I have to go, I’m going to be late” she croaked. Toshio followed close behind her, stamping his feet with impatient excitement.

“Let me go with you” Kakashi said, approaching. Rei simply shook her head and extended a hand out to halt him.

“No, Kakashi” she insisted. “I-I need to do this on my own.” As much as she appreciated the offer, and deep down truly wanted Kakashi there, she didn’t want to have to depend on him constantly. Kakashi’s face fell. Clearly he was uncomfortable with the thought of her doing this by herself. He promised to be there for her every step of the way, hadn’t he? But how could he be expected to keep his promise if she kept pushing him away? The look of defeat on his face broke Rei’s heart but meant nothing to what she had to do. Her face softened only slightly, a bittersweet smile flickering across her lips, as she assured him, “Don’t worry. It’ll be fine, right? Besides, I’ll have Toshio with me.” She reached down to scratch behind the dog’s ear, and Toshio barked in happy agreement. At least Kakashi could take solace in that.

With a defeated sigh, he slowly came nearer to tenderly kiss her forehead. “Just promise me one thing” he whispered, fingers tangled in her hair.

Rei swallowed hard, anxious. “What…?” she croaked. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know. She didn’t want him to ask anything more of her, to add more weight to her burden.

Kakashi tilted her head up to face him, whispered, “Promise me that you’ll at least eat something when you get home.”

Dropping her eyes to the ground, Rei gave a single nod. “I will” she whispered. Then, without another word, she turned to leave.

The hokage’s office felt all at once vast and suffocating as Rei knocked on the door and slipped inside. Tsunade looked up from her stacks of paperwork and smiled. “Just the person I wanted to see” she said and set the documents aside.

Rei gulped back her fear and forced a smile. Toshio nudged her hand, urged her forward. She was grateful to have him by her side at a time like this. “So, what did you need to see me for?” she asked with forced casualness.

“Rei, I think you know” Tsunade replied, cocking a brow. Her manicured fingers trailed her desk then and held up a lab report from among the pile. “I received word from the hospital a few days ago about your most recent appointment. Congratulations.”

“Th-thank you” Rei croaked.

“Now, as I’m sure you’re well aware, you can’t continue your ANBU duties in your current condition” Tsunade continued.

Rei shook her head in understanding. “I know, which is why I’ve decided—”

“You’ll just have to go on light duty in the meantime” Tsunade interrupted. Rei froze, shellshocked.

“L-Light duty…?” she asked slowly, cautiously. A part of her wasn’t even sure if she had heard her correctly.

Tsunade nodded. “That’s right. We sure as hell can’t have you out in the field while pregnant. You’d endanger both your life and that of the child’s. But I can’t expect you to just give up your entire career. After all, something tells me this wasn’t exactly planned…”

The insinuation, while correct, sent a shiver down Rei’s spine. “It’s, uh…it’s complicated” she muttered, dropping her gaze. She really didn’t have time to get into the specifics right now, nor did she want to. Lady Tsunade didn’t need to know.

“I’ve already looked into your options” Tsunade continued, “and I think you’d be a perfect fit for the records department, given your history with filing at the bookshop.”

Rei found herself nodding on her own accord. Somehow just automatically accepting the offer. It wasn’t even that she was against working in records, either. She knew she had a knack for filing, and she enjoyed being around binders and old books. There was something deeply satisfying about the organizational aspect of it all, of the intricate coding system, the smell of yellowed paper and stale ink. And yet there was still one more point of contention nagging at the back of her mind. “What about my ANBU team?”

Tsunade heaved a sigh and her once-pleased expression fell. “That’s something I’m going to have to figure out” she replied honestly. “Your pregnancy does create a bit of a rift in the black ops, but that’s not your problem to worry about. You have far more important things at hand. Still, if you can think of anyone to take your place in the meantime, by all means.” Here, she motioned with her hand as if to silently encourage Rei to pose her suggestions.

“Well…I do have one person in mind” Rei muttered, “but…when you say in the meantime…?”

Tsunade blinked. “I mean until you’re off maternity leave. You do intend to return to duty once your child is born, don’t you?”

Rei toed the ground anxiously. “Honestly, I didn’t know I was allowed to.”

“Of course you’re allowed to!” Tsunade exclaimed. A light laugh bubbled up from her chest. “You act like you’re the first ANBU to ever get pregnant.”

“Well, I don’t know of anyone else who has” Rei explained. “I didn’t think…I don’t know. I thought my career was over.”

“Your career is definitely not over. Not unless you want it to be, that is” Tsunade replied. Rei hated to admit that the hokage’s words had alighted something in her. Kakashi’s insistence that she quit her job still hung heavy in the back of her mind, but at least now she knew that that was not the only option. That maybe, just maybe, she could have the best of both worlds after all. Spreading her hands out across her desk then, Tsunade pursed her lips and said, “Now, about your replacement.”

Rei sucked in a sharp breath as she made her way to the ANBU headquarters. She wasn’t sure if she could do this, any of this. She didn’t think she could walk in there, face her comrades, gather her things from her locker, confront the situation at hand. While she knew now that this did not have to be permanent, that meant nothing for the fact that she would still have to leave anyway. She only hoped her subordinates would be kind. After all, she truly had not planned for this.

Toshio nudged the door open for her, guided her down the dark and narrow hallways to the locker rooms underground. He helped steady her on the stairs, ensuring that he would catch her should she stumble and fall, and barked a hello at the ninja behind the barred supply counter. The man did not acknowledge them, but Rei wondered if he was smiling beneath his mask. Toshio seemed to have that effect on people. He could crack a smile from even the most stoic.

The halls were nearly empty save for a few shinobi making their way to the briefing room or the holding cells. Rei wasn’t sure which would have been better: this, where no one could see her deliberate, or a crowded room where she could hide among the many. She shuffled toward the locker room and the whole world began to spin. As her hand hovered over the doorknob, her stomach lurched and she was positive she was about to be sick. Not now, fuck, she thought, leaning forward against the wall and attempting to steady her breath. Every worst-case scenario cycled through her head at warp speed, taunting her. She became grossly aware of the flashing red exit sgins at the end of each hall, feeling their existence boring holes into her back. She couldn’t do this. She needed fresh air, freedom, an escape.

“Rei?” a voice then called from behind, and Rei’s entire body went icy. She turned slowly, cracking a faint smile at Yugao standing at the mouth of the hall. Before she could even say anything, Yugao surged forward and wrapped Rei in a tight hug. “I’ve been so worried about you! You should’ve kept in touch with me while you were gone.”

“S-sorry” Rei croaked. “I’ve, uh…I’ve had a lot going on.”

“Are you okay? Is everything okay?” Yugao asked, leaning back to get a better look at her captain’s face. “You look terrible” she then added, noting the pallor in Rei’s face, the dark circles under her eyes, the tremble of her hands.

Rei nodded, dropping her gaze and raking her fingers through her bangs. “Yeah, I’m alright. I just…can we talk?”

“Yeah, of course” Yugao affirmed, and motioned for Rei and Toshio to follow her into the locker room.

Everything about this place suddenly disgusted Rei. She felt her stomach churn as she slipped inside, assaulted by the strong smell of floral perfumes and the sight so many naked women. Even though she knew, realistically, that they were all preoccupied, Rei couldn’t help but feel like all eyes were on her. She could feel them hone into her presence, ears pricked up like dogs just waiting for the tiniest morsel of juicy gossip. By now, word of Rei’s questionable state had surely circulated through the black ops. She hated to think of what kinds of rumors hung over her head now, a black cloud heavy with purpose, as she waded her way even deeper into the swamp.

Yugao guided Rei toward her locker, propping it open as she got ready. “So what did you need to talk to me about?” she asked and though her tone was bright and eager, Rei could sense a hint of uncertainty lurking under the surface. As if Yugao somehow knew there was something wrong. Rei wondered if she bought into the rumors herself. She hoped her lieutenant would be a little more discerning but Yugao was only human. Besides, she had already known of Rei and Kakashi’s previous plans.

Rei tangled her fingers in Toshio’s thick fur as her eyes skimmed the crowd, feeling completely surveilled. She wished there was someplace more private where they could speak, but beggars can’t be choosers. With her back to the rest of the kunoichi, Rei lowered her voice and said, “Yugao, I need to ask a favor of you.”

Yugao met Rei’s face with wide-eyed anxiety. “O-Of course. Anything.”

Rei sucked in a deep breath. She couldn’t look at her. Not now. “Some things have come up. Some, uh…unexpected things, and I…I need you to take over my captain’s duties. Temporarily, but…still.”

The request, as expected, shocked Yugao. “Y-You need me to wh--? Wait, why? Rei, what’s going on? What happened?” An anxious nausea rose into the back of Yugao’s throat. Something was wrong, she could feel it. She rested a hand on Rei’s shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Rei, what happened?”

She didn’t expect to feel so vulnerable, but Rei’s emotions quickly got the better of her. Her throat tightened and tears pricked at the back of her eyes. The weight of the past few days bore down even heavier upon her shoulders. “Yugao, I…” Rei started, voice choked and meek. Yugao tightened her grip, hardened her gaze, desperate. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, Rei forced the words out of her mouth, a confession. “I’m pregnant” she gasped.

Yugao immediately recoiled, her face falling. “Rei, you’re…” she whispered in disbelief. Rei nodded, wrapping her arms around her waist as if in defense. “A-are you…I mean…was this planned?”

“N-Not exactly” Rei said sheepishly. “It was an accident, I guess things just got out of hand, I don’t know…”

“Well, of course you can’t continue working like this” Yugao said. “Are you okay with that?”

“I’ve made my peace with it” Rei lied. “Lady Tsunade said I could work in records until the baby is born, which should be fine. I just…I don’t want you guys to think I’m abandoning you.”

“No, no, of course not” Yugao shook her head. “I don’t feel that way. Things happen. I get it. Are you…I mean, are you happy?”

A small smile touched Rei’s lips, though even she wasn’t sure how genuine it was. “It’s just…it’s a lot all at once” she finally answered. Toshio nuzzled her hand, licked at her fingertips, sensing her silent distress.

Yugao nodded empathetically. “Of course” she whispered. To say that she was shocked by this new development was an understatement. Certainly Yugao had her assumptions, as did everyone, but now that Rei’s pregnancy was confirmed, she couldn’t help but wonder what this meant moving forward. She watched as Rei ultimately turned toward her own locker a few doors down, swung it open, and began gathering her things. Something wary and desperate began to take root in Yugao’s chest as she watched Rei’s locker gradually empty. “R-Rei…?” she finally asked. Rei paused, turned to look at her. “You are going to come back, right…?”

“O-Of course…” Rei replied. “Why wouldn’t I?” She refused to revisit Kakashi’s words, to linger on his insistences. Tsunade had given her a choice. The hokage almost even expected Rei to return. She had options. This was not the end.

Yugao dropped her gaze, shook her head. “I don’t know, I just…want to make sure” she muttered. “Having a baby is a big responsibility. I’m not…well, how can you be sure you would even want to return to work after all of this?”

Rei hated that she even had to consider Yugao’s point in the first place. Deep down, she didn’t know. Motherhood was a vast expanse of uncertainty and fear. From this point forward, Rei would be responsible for a little human life, fully dependent on her and her alone. She wanted to believe that there was a way to juggle both, to have one foot firmly planted on each road, but was that even realistic? Rei didn’t know. And quite frankly, she couldn’t stomach considering it further. Narrowing her eyes, she definitively replied, “I’m sure.” Even if she wasn’t, she needed Yugao to believe that she was. Rei herself needed to believe that she was.

Before any more could be said, the bell crackled over the loudspeakers calling everyone in for the morning briefing. Yugao and Rei exchanged panicked looks as the other kunoichi frantically strapped their gauntlets to their arms and fastened their shoes to their feet, stumbling and swarming out into the hallway. Yugao fed Rei a sheepish smile, asked, “So what now?”

Hugging her belongings to her chest, Rei’s eyes drifted toward the door as she croaked, “Now I just have to tell everyone else.”

Rei stood at the back of the briefing room, her belongings crumpled at her feet, as Meishu gruffly outlined the night shift’s happenings. She kept a hand firmly on Toshio at all times, scratching the back of his neck and massaging the tip of his velvety ear. In the pit of her chest, she felt the nagging weight of her own disattention but had to remind herself: what was the point? It wasn’t like this was going to have any importance on her day moving forward. She was not on duty.

Her eyes skated to Team Ku seated a few feet ahead of her and her heart ached. They sat rigid with a unanimous tension, as if they knew something was about to break. An eerie feeling in the pit of their chests, a buzzing in the air. Every so often, Rei swore she caught Arai glance at her over her shoulder. In those deep amethyst eyes, there was nothing but sharp suspicion.

And then Meishu dismissed everyone for their daily assignments, and Rei had no other choice. She clenched her fists at her sides, swallowed her fear, and strode forward.

“Where the hell have you been?” Arai smirked, suppressing laughter. “What happened? Did you have to get your stomach pumped or something?”

“I knew it had to be something serious” Hitsuji shivered. “Are you better now? You’re not contagious anymore, are you?” A small sneeze squeaked out of him, sniffling at Toshio’s allergic presence.

“You look absolutely awful” Sukui complained. He reached back to pick up a strand of Rei’s limp, red hair off her shoulder, loosened from her ponytail. Frowning, she swatted him away.

“No, I’m fine” Rei replied curtly. “Everything is fine.”

“Oh yeah? You don’t sound fine” Kikkake snarked. “What’s with your clothes, anyway?” He motioned to her outfit, to the navy blue tunic with the full, turquoise sleeves and gold trim on the collar, the fabric faded and hem fraying from years of use.

Sukui made a stink face and shook his head. “Retail therapy would’ve done you well, that’s for sure” he commented.

“No, it’s not that” Kikkake said, waving dismissively to his comrade. Stalking forward, he stared down at Rei like a predator zeroing in on his prey. Unforgiving. “If everything was fine, you’d be in your uniform like the rest of us. The fact that you’re not means something is wrong. It means that you’re not actually at work today, are you? You’re here for a reason, and it’s not because you’re no longer sick.” Toshio’s upper lip curled into a growl.

Hitsuji tensed, gripping the edge of the table tightly. “It’s worse than we thought, isn’t it?” he cried. “Is it Cyclospora? Gallstones? Cancer?!”

Rei sighed and rubbed at her aching forehead. “Guys, please…” she whined. Her stomach churned and her hands felt numb and something within the pit of her chest lurched, anxious. She gripped at the waist of her dress in hopes that it might ground her.

“Well?” Arai asked, cocking a brow. “Spit it out, boss. What’s the deal?”

“Yeah, Rei, fess up” Kikkake spat. “What’s the matter with you?”

Hitsuji covered his nose and mouth with his hand, his heart pounding out of his chest. “P-Please tell me you’re not contagious.”

“Can you guys calm down?” Yugao asked. Then, meeting Rei’s gaze, she said much softer, “Go ahead, Rei. Tell them what’s going on.”

The room was suddenly far too loud and far too bright. The air conditioner hummed overhead, the blast of cold air giving Rei goosebumps, and yet sweat beaded at the small of her back and underneath her bangs. Her subordinates faces blurred and melded together, desperate and angsty and scared. Rei’s throat tightened and her nose tingled and a sour taste filled her mouth and oh my god she was going to be sick. Their rapid inquiries pounded in her head—Come on, tell us. What are you waiting for? What’s going on? Rei, what’s wrong? What the fuck are you doing? What’s going on? You’re wasting time! Just spit it out! What have you done? Tell us, tell us, tell us, tell us. Squeezing her eyes shut tight, she clenched her fist tighter around the fabric and shouted, “I’m fucking pregnant, okay?!”

The whole room fell silent. Even the few shinobi who had hung back, going over battle plans and studying assignments, paused and slowly looked toward Rei. And while the confession had released the weight of anticipation off her shoulders, it was now quickly replaced with something much worse: the fear of their reception.

Team Ku sat in stunned silence for a long while before finally, Arai burst out in incredulous laughter. “That’s real fucking funny, boss! Now come on, tell us what’s really going on.” Rei pursed her lips and dropped her gaze to the ground. She wasn’t sure what else she could even say. All the potential sentences tangled in her throat, strangling her. Her silence only enhanced the weight of her confession, clarified the reality. “Captain Rei…come on. That can’t really be it, is it?” Arai asked. Her faith was steadily draining. When Rei still said nothing else, Arai recoiled in shock. “No fucking way…” she murmured.

“A-are you sure?” Hitsuji asked. Rei caught his eyes skate down to her stomach, as if questioning the validity based on the size of her belly. Rei shot him a fierce glare that told him that she was, in fact, sure.

“Well, this is just fucking stupdendous” Kikkake complained, leaning back against the table in defeat. “And what do you expect to become of us now, huh? You had a responsibility to us, you know. You can’t just get off scot-free because you couldn’t keep your legs shut.”

“Kikkake!” Yugao shouted, slapping him hard on the arm. “Watch your mouth! This is still your captain you’re speaking to.” Kikkake, however, showed no remorse.

“Well, as much as I hate to agree with him, he does have a point” Sukui muttered, fingertip tapped to his chin. “What is going to become of us?”

“W-Well, I spoke with Lady Tsunade this morning and we decided on a temporary replacement” Rei replied cautiously, frantically. She kept her voice low, fearing that any louder might not only anger the beast but attract more unwanted attention.

Shaking her head, Arai leaned back in her chair and sucked her teeth in distaste. “Oh, great. Awesome. So you’re going to just leave us in the mud and pawn us off to some other tired sucker. Love that. Way to show you really care, Captain Rei.”

Hitsuji pursed his lips, furrowed his brows. “B-But you said temporary. That means you’ll be back, right?”

Rei gave a single nod. “That’s the plan” she replied. “I am not abandoning you guys.”

“Oh really?” Kikkake snapped. “Because that’s sure as hell what it feels like.”

“And how do you know you’ll actually come back, anyway?” Arai asked. “And even if you do, it’s never gonna be the same. You can’t just walk into battle with a kid sucking on your tit.”

“That would be pretty badass if she did, though” Sukui commented toward his comrade. Arai rolled her eyes, unimpressed.

Rei was beginning to lose her nerve now. She could feel her muscles tense and electrify, her heart pounding and a vicious anger rising up into her throat. Gritting her teeth, she pounded her fist against the table and glared at her subordinates. “Hey. I am still your fucking captain and I demand to be treated with respect. Is that understood? Like I said, I am not abandoning you guys. I will do everything in my fucking power to make sure that you are taken care of in my absence, and that I will come back. Have any of you ever thought for one second about how I feel about all of this? Have you ever thought of anyone but yourselves? Because this isn’t ideal for me, either, but this is just the way things are now and I’ll be damned if anyone, and I mean anyone, stands in the way of making this transition as smooth and unproblematic as humanly possible. Do I make myself fucking clear?”

Team Ku stared back at her with wide, silenced eyes. Hitsuji sat stock still, his grip tightening evermore on the table. Without even breaking eye contact, Sukui slowly leaned over to whisper to Arai, “They weren’t kidding when they said pregnant women were scary.”

Arai immediately clapped her hand over her comrade’s mouth, growling, “Good god, man, don’t anger it!”

Kikkake slapped both of them on the back of the head before asking, “So what about this temporary captain, huh? Who’s taking your place?”

Rei glanced across the room and fed Yugao a silent signal to step forward. With a definitive nod, she obliged. “That would be me” Yugao said with a slight wave.

“Oh, thank god!” Arai exclaimed, slumping in her chair in relief. As unpleasant an experience as all this was, at least they still had Yugao. Arai trusted her, almost even considered her more of a captain than Rei herself. In Yugao’s hands, Arai—and all the others, even—felt safe and capable. As if maybe this terrible turn of events wasn’t quite so terrible after all.

“I may not be able to go on missions with you guys anymore” Rei stated, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t be within your reach, either. I’ll, uh…I’ll probably be working in records during my maternity leave, so whenever you need me, I won’t be very far. Alright?”

The others all nodded halfheartedly, but it was still clear to Rei that they were not pleased. She glanced to Yugao, searching for some form of reassurance, but Yugao’s eyes turned instead to the clock. “Shit, we’re running late” she muttered under her breath. And with that, she whipped out the paperwork for the day’s assignment and began detailing their duties. Rei quickly felt their circle of inclusion close, an unrelenting pressure on her chest phasing her out of view. This was no longer her responsibility. She had no obligation to stick around and listen. Back pressed against the wall, she paused for only a moment to allow the weight of her new normal to crush her completely. Then, without another word, she scooped up her belongings and made her way to the door.

The hallway expanded and contracted before her as she swayed toward the stairwell, Toshio dutifully by her side. Time seemed to speed past her and she was powerless. Her chest ached with anxiety but her limbs felt heavy and uncooperative. She cursed herself under her breath as she begged herself to just fucking move. And all the while, her throat grew tight and sore with impending tears, swallowing back the monstrous cry threatening to rise up out of her.

And then, all at once, a weak hand took hold of her wrist and Rei’s body electrified. Toshio whipped around with a growl, immediately prepared to apprehend. For a moment, Rei expected—or perhaps even hoped—that it was Yugao but she knew full well that this was not her lieutenant’s grip. Toshio huffed and backed down. When Rei turned around, she was faced with none other than sheepish Hitsuji.

“C-Captain Rei, before you go, I just wanted to say one thing” he murmured. Rei cocked a brow, urging him to continue. Hitsuji forced himself to look up at her, a small smile touching his lips as he said, “Congratulations.”

Rei couldn’t help but smile softly, bittersweetly at this sweet, innocent boy. “Thank you” she whispered. “Now go get back inside. The others need you.” She hated to think of all the information he was missing by coming to speak with her. With a single nod, Hitsuji shot her one last reassuring smile before rushing back into the briefing room.

Rei managed to remain relatively composed until she exited the building. The sun sat hot and heavy in the sky overhead and the smell of summer rain filled the air. Rei pressed a hand to her tight chest, prayed for peace, before turning a dark corner and allowing herself to finally, ultimately break down.

She felt ridiculous for being so emotional—after all, there was no point in sobbing over something that needed to be done, right? Still, that heavy rock of despair lodged itself firmly in her chest. She swallowed back the rest of her sobs, wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand, straightened her back and stepped out into the sunlight. She struggled to keep her breathing steady as she walked home, one hand hugging her uniforms to her chest as the other clung to the thick fur at Toshio’s neck. She felt like a child, needy and vulnerable. She felt pathetic.

And all the while, her eyes drifted to scenes of children playing in the street, of mother’s tending to fussy babies in restaurants and through shop windows. She envisioned herself in their roles and something suddenly felt so strange and unnatural about it. She couldn’t get used to it. She wanted to be a mother, of course she did, and yet there was something deep in the pit of her stomach screaming that this was all wrong. Turn back, danger ahead. Rei’s head began to spin. Her hand trembled as she unlocked the front door to an empty apartment and sank down on the couch.

Toshio lumbered up beside her, resting his heavy head in her lap and whimpering dolefully. As if he could sense her mind in disrepair and wanted to heal it despite not knowing how. She scratched behind his ears and under his chin and the lump in the back of her throat hardened. She pressed a shaky hand to her waist, grazed the imprint of her hipbone through her tunic. She remembered Kakashi’s request from that morning. Really, she knew she should eat something. Patting Toshio on the head, she forced herself up off the couch and trudged into the kitchen. The tile was cold and unforgiving against her bare feet, the fridge foreboding. She creaked the door open slowly and idled in front of the full shelves. A loaf of bread, a jug of milk, last night’s leftovers. She studied them until she could no longer bear it, until the anger growing behind her ribs exploded out of her chest with a frustrated grunt. Gritting her teeth, she slammed the fridge door shut. Instead, she turned to the cabinet, pulling down a glass and holding it unsteadily beneath the faucet. She watched the water fill to the top, then overflow, letting it run over her tight knuckles and pale fingernails. When the hush of the running water began to annoy her, she flicked the tap off, brushed her hair back out of her damp face, and took a long, desperate swig. Her stomach expanded and grew heavier with each monstrous gulp. Deep down, she hoped it would trick her body into thinking she was full. She hoped it would be enough.

It was never enough.

#kakashi hatake #rei natsuki #kakashi x oc #the scarecrow and the bell #naruto #naruto oc #fanfiction

2 notes · View notes

standarrow · 5 years

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pls tell me ALL of ur okuyasu headcanons i am very excited to read them!!

BURSTS INTO THE ROOM !!!! OF COURSE i would love to share

(so a lot of this is based on my own personal experience !!! and i admit i am projecting BUT ik this isnt exactly a rare headcanon to have)

to start off: Okuyasu 110% has ADHD (combined!! i dont think he’s either hyperactive or inattentive) (and i would argue autism too but i dont want 2 talk on that as someone whos not entirely sure i have it, when i do have adhd [prof dxed])

how Okuyasu’s emotions and how he processes and expresses them are really reflective of emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity !!!!

anger and crying as a response to the emotional overload of not being able to process how your feeling???

indecisive!! can’t choose one thing!! can lead to some impulsive choices or no choices at all

impulsivity also coming in from the hyperactive part tht means he can end up getting himself in some situations where he hasnt thought things thru

i think he’s also VERY friendly because he genuinely just wants to be liked via that good old rejection sensitivity. i think the way he interacts with josuke as his Special Person and what we get to see of him interacting with keicho highlights that

i think that he also has a low stress tolerance that can feed into his inability to regulate his emotions and it causes him to respond w/ crying or anger

AND ULTIMATELY i think it also plays into how people (and therefore himself through years of people telling him he is) perceive him as “stupid” which he’s not!!!! he’s not.

okuyasu has a low-self esteem and i think tht stems from making decisions and having rationalizations and ways of DOING things that aren’t what people who dont have ADHD perceive as odd or wrong. he doubts himself a lot and his inability to make “decisions” that people thing are RIGHT makes him feel like hes dumb.

he copes with this by just accepting that about himself and pretends like it doesnt bother him. but he’s also quick to try to please and to try and help and he’s trying!!!!!

there’s also a lot to say on how his brother always treated him like he couldnt do anything by himself, so he’s used to just brushing his own thoughts under the rug and not trusting himself

augh i also just. i really think he’s bi. LMAO. and that his special interest after meeting Tonio becomes cooking!

he also 100% deals with PTSD post DIU, and has some complex emotions and issues with having to take care of and still loving his father even though his father is. who he is.

#I NEED TO REWATCH PART 4 i had a lot of these strong feeling about him after doing so and i feel like ive forgotten some of my points #SORRY THIS IS SO LONG AND ALSO TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE #ask 2 tag!!#parent ment #anon #asks #ik that a lot of this is pretty common but i like putting thots in my own words u _ u

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istrys · 6 years

Text

Death and Rebirth

Areus gasped out with a wet cough, spilling blood and spit along the uneven stones beneath him. The icy hand of death no longer gripped his body, but merely hovered over him like an indecisive card player; the uncertainty of his surroundings only furthered his desperate need to survive. Areus ran his trembling hand across his chest- soaked and sticky with what had to be his own blood. He’d survived wounds far more grievous before, stabbed deeper and closer to his heart; with a simple binding spell and a lot of liquor he could endure, but this time it was different. The Holy Light intervened for all the wrong reasons. Without the shadows bending to his will, the old wounded soldier was blind and helpless to treat his own injuries, and now time was his greatest enemy.

The crisp breeze indicated early morning, but with most of his senses dulled, he couldn’t be sure. First he tried crawling to something stable enough to force him on his feet, but his legs wouldn’t budge, and the cold weight spreading over his chest and into his limbs made any sort of movement an agonizing uphill battle. His fingertips clawed into stone and dirt and snow with all his might, nails scraping against mortar from a fallen wall, threatening to tear off with every forceful yank. Bit by bit every attempt tore at the flesh of his fingers. He needed to make it out of the Bloodsworn Vanguard ruins and onto a main road but was bleeding out far faster than he had ever imagined. The man managed to patch together what was left of his shredded arm with what little mana he had left yet even with two halfway decent extremities, it wasn’t really working out for him.

Thoughts of the past flooded his mind as he struggled to lift himself up, crawling desperately with what little strength he had left for survival.

“Ash… I’m sorry for doing what I must… I plan on being back…- -Being with you makes me smile and gives me a feeling that I c- -I really enjoyed spending time with you toda- -My heart will always be yours, as long as you want it.”

Areus managed to wrap his fingers around a rock with some weight to it; immediately he struck himself in the forehead one, two, three times, trying to keep himself conscious through the pain. His mind drifted to blissful instances of memories with his loved one. Letters he once sent her. This was a distraction allowing him to succumb to his fate- she was already dead. The thought was ever so enticing, so sweet and sickening. To be allowed to die only to be at her side again yet… he couldn’t stop thinking about those who were still alive. His son, his brother, his niece, his nephew, his sister-in-law… too many people to let down yet no matter how much he grit his teeth he couldn’t fix his predicament. Everything seemed to slow down and his movements felt so sluggish. If only he could have one more sip of his flask. If only he could have one last drag of his pipe.

“Ah… I could… really… go for a… drink…” he rasped in between breaths as the light in his dull glazed eyes dimmed like the sun drifting beneath the horizon. As he slowly closed his eyes, the distant sounds of feet pattering about barely caught his attention. The voice of a child whispered near his ears, likely no older than five or six; if a child that young was out here, their parents wouldn’t be too far behind. A surge of hope coursed through his stiffening body at the prospect of a traveler’s caravan finding him. “Who… ‘s… the-...?” his dry voice cut out. More little voices chirped and whispered amongst themselves, until it felt like he was surrounded by a small crowd. “Ge… he… hel-...” He used the last of his strength to speak, but his jaw was beginning to tighten shut as well. It felt like he was laying there for the children’s spectacle for years. Eventually he gave up trying to speak, and slowly rested his head into the grass to accept his fate. Not until heavier footsteps approached, not until the sensation of innumerable tiny hands grasping at his clothes, and not until the whisper of a foreign incantation did Areus find the resolve to open his dulled eyes again.

“Erana-dora isil,” The voice of a matured woman gently spoke. “You’re in good company.”

He felt the weight of his body wash away like the tide, his spirit rising off the ground to float suspended in the air; the agony of dying was gone, and so too were the voices. Areus felt free, liberated by the shackles of his once many burdens. He saw Azeroth again with his own eyes - a sensation he never knew he missed so badly. The splashing of vibrant colors of the trees caused the elf to choke on his own tears. The higher he rose the more he saw, until he could see the glimmering towers of Silvermoon City to the north, and the deep forests of the Hinterlands to the south. His thoughts then returned to Ashelin, and everything he would tell her when he saw her again in the afterlife; tears of joy rolled down his cheeks as he gazed at the first rays of light from the rising sun to the east.

A flash of light quickly covered the horizon and forced Areus to shield his eyes. When the blinding light dimmed he was able to lower his hand to gaze at a giant blue mushroom cloud a mile off the coast; it was the single largest mana bomb explosion he had ever seen, perhaps the largest anyone had ever seen. The sonic boom that reverberated away from ground zero ripped toward the continent and heaved blazing trees out of the ground. Within moments Quel’Thalas was engulfed in blue flames, and Areus was helpless to stop it. He screamed out in horror at the searing winds rushing over Silvermoon City, toppling its towers and searing the streets and walls black. Thoughts of his family crying out seconds before turning to nothing more than ash silhouettes against the explosion filled him with raw and absolute dread. He couldn’t hear their screams this far over the carnage, but he knew what it would sound like; a thousand voices screeching at the top of their lungs from the searing heat, then silence. He looked down to see the land reduced to ash and dirt, with the flames devouring the once beautiful Eversong Woods. Silvermoon City, the Amber Glade, the Ghostlands, all of it - gone in an instant.

A deep guttural roar caused his heart to run cold. Out from the boiling oceans a gigantic mountain of flesh, tendrils and teeth arose, seemingly uninjured yet enraged. The nameless Old God let loose its maddening wrath, coughing forth an army of faceless aberrations that clamored over the glassed shores to feast on anything or anyone that managed to survive. Even worse, it writhed and twisted its massive body, turning the very air around its mass a putrid black with noxious fumes and accursed magic. Within moments Areus watched a once beautiful land he called home for centuries completely obliterated by his own people, and further desecrated by the sleeping nightmares rising from the depths of the sea. On the other side of the scorched continent another Old God popped out of the churning waves, then another, and then another. Without a doubt, it was the end of the Sun’raels, the end of the Sin’dorei, the end of Azeroth.

Then he fell. Like a meteor reentering the atmosphere, Areus fell spiraling and twisting against the heat that seared his bones. He screamed out in agony while the blackened earth rose up to catch him, fearing what the warring Old Gods would do with his soul, and the souls of his kin, once they captured him. He wanted to rise up into paradise and walk with Ashelin for all time, but this madness would only be the start of his eternal torment. He fell into the cloud of fumes and choked on blinding spores, which filled his lungs with poison and his heart with maddening hatred; he grew swollen with malice and was bursting at the seams with a bloodlust so ripe and pure he forgot what happiness, compassion, and love felt like. Areus was ripped into a million pieces the instant he splattered against the ground, but his last thoughts were of dying over and over again, until either the Old Gods died of old age, or until the end of time.

When he opened his eyes again, a familiar darkness clouded his vision. His entire body ached like every inch of his body was impaled by needles, and when he tried to move, agony cut deep into his very bones. “Be still.” The voice from earlier spoke, causing his ears to twitch. “Recovering from the brink of death takes a toll on one’s body.” Areus opened his glazed eyes to see the face of the woman speaking, but his beloved sight was gone again; the Holy Light still lingered in his body as well, making her shadowy silhouette flicker erratically. “Let me know if you can feel this.” A sharp ache suddenly began throbbing in his wrist, flooding his head with the bitter memories of his brother.

Alucieus stabbed him. His own kin. His own brother. For the longest time they were rivals, polar opposites where one basked in the power of the Holy Light, while the other delved into the forbidden secrets of the Void; yet they were always there when they needed each other, always ready to save the other’s life, because family was more important to them than anything. Everything changed when Alucieus chopped off Areus’ hand, lifted him up by the throat, and ran his gladius into his chest. The last thing he remembered before blacking out the first time, was the hard thud from dropping onto the ground, and the heavy footsteps of his brother leaving him to bleed out and die. “Augh...nn-!” His throat was as dry as it could be.

“Here…” The frantic silhouette of her form drew closer with a pungent stench now biting at the tip of his nose. “Drink.” Areus barely had a choice in the matter, feeling a hand clasp at his jaw while she forcefully poured the foul contents into his mouth. For a while he coughed and sputtered, but eventually he was able to get at least some of it down his throat while the rest either sat in his mouth or slipped out from the corners of his lips. It was the most wretched slime he had ever tasted.

Yet despite the sudden urge to vomit, the room around him finally began to settle down. He was able to get a clearer image of his surroundings even with the Holy Light still stinging in his chest; something about that sludge she forced down his throat also helped calm the sporadic silhouettes that surrounded him. The woman in question was clearly a Nightborne, which only brought more questions than answers. She was stitching his swollen hand back onto his wrist while humming a hauntingly melancholy tune, as foreign magic enveloped her fingers. At least twenty children watched them with varying interest, but he couldn’t tell what race they were with their handmade masks covering their faces, each depicting some sort of animal or monster likely straight out of their wild imaginations; they often whispered amongst themselves, occasionally pointing at him before their giggling picked back up again. One child stood out among the rest, however. He sat away from the other children, and closest to the older woman; he wore no mask, revealing a leathery and decrepit face that seemed half-rotten- an undead child. “Where… am I…?”

“Your new home.” The woman quickly answered, gently tugging at the thin string to tighten another stitch. Areus didn’t like the ominous sound of that; he had no intention of being this woman’s prisoner.

“I should…” Areus started, gulping dryly as images of Ashelin cuddled up against his chest interrupted his thoughts. “... I should be dead.”

“You were.” The woman turned to look at him for a moment before continuing her stitchwork. “I brought you back.”

Areus stiffened as the ache shot up his arm again. He didn’t want to show weakness in front of this stranger if possible. “Why…?” the man asked dryly.

“Why?” She indignantly repeated. “Did Lord Augustus Sun’rael teach you to give up that easily? I brought you back because your story doesn't end with such a meaningless death at the hands of your corrupted brother. To let your talents go to waste would be an affront to your family. A crime to Azeroth.”

He reluctantly laid still. Whether or not he had a choice didn’t matter- the fact that this voice invoked the name of his father meant that they knew much more about the lineage of his family than anyone else. Neither he nor his brother spoke of the patriarch of their clan, they both strived to further the Sun’rael name in their own methods yet somehow this stranger was acquainted with their father, a figure both the brothers detested.

“Your family still needs you.” The woman continued, catching his attention again. “Your sister-in-law especially. She is in a dark place right now… almost as dark as yours.”

“My brother, is he-?”

“Dead?” She pulled one last string and his hand was finally connected with his wrist. “All done. Try to move your hand for me.” Areus was at a loss of words, but he obeyed all the same; agony rocked through his arm, and he was barely able to move a single finger. “That’s what I was afraid of. It looks like it will take a long time before you can control your hand again… but it will never be as it once was.” She watched his face closely while she gently put his hand down. The children continued their private conversations, all except the undead child, who continued to stare at him in morbid silence. “I never gave you my name… I am Aodin. Aodin Umbrose.”

“Well, Aodin,” Areus spoke with labored breaths. “If you're not willing to let me die, then I must be with the rest of my family.”

“Of course.” She seemed unusually complacent. “You are free to leave once your debt to me is paid.”

Areus narrowed his blackened eyes. “I hoped my sincere gratitude was enough, heh… so how much are you blackmailing me for?”

Aodin didn't seem amused. “I don't want your coin.”

“Well you're a lovely looking woman, but I can't provide that eith-"

“I want a treasure from your special vault.” The Witch didn't let him finish that thought. “A grimoire that predates the Black Empire… the Myurkodn.”

Areus blinked at the Shal’dorei for a few moments before chuckling lightly. “I don't know what you're talking about. Anything I can't sell on the market, I toss out with my trash. Ancient books aren't exactly high on demand.”

“You're an adequate swordsman, but a terrible liar.” Aodin leaned back in her chair to judge him with glimmering silver eyes. “I know the Aqir took it with them when they fled north to create Azjol-Nerub. I know you and your brother found it buried under a mountain of insect corpses when you plundered their desecrated kingdom. And I know the Keepers of Shadow tossed it into the very back of their vault, fearing its power.” She paused to let Areus silently question just how much she really knew about his past. “You and Syrahn Bloodfeather are the only two Keepers of Shadow left. I can’t get anywhere near the Glade Queen, and even if I could, she wouldn’t help me. The power stored in that book should not be abandoned. It should not be forgotten.”

His newly reattached hand twitched slightly and quivered, blood slowly working its way through the veins that had been stagnated. Holy light bled into the arteries as they began the long and arduous process to mend. The man’s murky eyes settled on her, “What do you aim to do with it then?”

“Use the knowledge against the true enemies of Azeroth.” She sighed, tapping her elongated fingernails against the arms of her chair. “Surely you’ve foreseen it; the Old Gods rising from the depths to conquer the world once again.”

The small scars etched into the blind man’s eyelids lit up with a soft golden hue before turning to a deep purple tone. The were the shapes of various runes on a much smaller scale had been inscribed into his flesh. The shades of gray and charcoal became a bit more clear and he was able to distinguish forms in tones of black. “Fine. If I get you the Miur Codex, my debt is paid in full?”

“Myurkodn.” Aodin corrected, as the friendly demeanor returned to her voice. “Get me that grimoire and you’ll never owe me another favor again.”

“It sounds like you make out much better than I do in this deal. A weapon to change the fate of Azeroth? No thanks. Like you said, only I and Syrahn know where the vault left by the Keepers of Shadows lies. There’s one way for you to get what you want and I am it. I want three more conditions.”

The Witch shifted in her chair, but kept her composure. “Speak them.”

“One. I want my pipe back filled with tobacco, and the matches with them. Two. A bottle of whiskey. And three. Undo these gods-damned straps.” he gruffly responded. A cruel grin spread wide across her face while she stared through him, clearly unsure if this was some sort of strange jest or not. With a snap of her fingers the undead child hopped off the nearby chair and waddled over to his side; another snap of her fingers and the shackles vanished into smoke. The boy held his mottled grey hands aloft to reveal his pipe.

“You are a strange one,” Aodin sighed, rising from her seat. “But I am glad we could reach an agreement.” A tiny spark of shadowflame flickered off her pointed index finger, offering him a light.

Areus shifted to a seated position on the table, his legs dangling off as he leaned onto his right hand, his left cradled delicately in front of his chest. “I didn’t know you would be this agreeable.” he puffed at his pipe a couple times, “I’m going to have to change the deal to two bottles of whiskey. Or bourbon. Doesn’t matter to me.” he responded casually between puffs. Of course, the alcohol, the smokes and the shackles were inconsequential. All would have been met to his fill in time, yet he was one for immediate gratification. “I’m happy enough with this deal. I’m alive. You’ve served your purpose to the Void and I get to continue mine. And maybe even help my family a bit longer. If it’s darkness you seek, then I’m more than happy to facilitate your request. Just don’t regret it when it’s more than you bargained for.” he offered her a smirk after exhaling a large plume of smoke, “I didn’t.”

The children surrounding Areus scampered off in random directions within the strange house as Aodin continued to watch him take long steady drags of his pipe. “I know the risks and I have safeguards in place to prevent… another disaster. But, I’m afraid this won’t be so easy…” She turned to open a chest he didn’t notice before along the ground. Slowly she raised another flask - this one holding the heart so inky black it hardly looked real; it was still beating. “This belongs to you, Areus Sun’rael. When your brother stabbed you in the chest, he filled your heart with the Holy Light. If I placed it back into you as it is now, the Light would kill you from the inside out. I’ll need time to purge it before I can operate on you again… and it serves as a valuable bargaining chip to ensure you keep your word.”

“You don’t need a bargaining chip. We’ve already made the deal, have we not? I’d like to think we’re both bound to our word as we are bound to the Void. Not like those little void-kiddies running around in the Alliance playing with things they don’t understand.” He took another puff from the pipe before clearing his throat as a wince overcame his face, clearly still in pain.

A shake of Areus’ head came before a response, “Rather than a bargaining chip or a tool for your blackmail, make sure you’ve got that ready for when I come back. I won’t be long.” Areus pointed with the pipe. “You can be sure that when I do come back, and you don’t hold up your half of the deal, you’ll die along with me and that grimoire will be in ashes the same as you as well as anyone within a mile radius.” a sigh came before he took another long drag from his pipe, letting the smoke escape with an exaggerated breath. “In the meantime, what do you have pumping my blood, anyway?” he asked, perking a brow while his right hand reached to adjust the pipe.

“Nothing. This is a forbidden incantation the Gurubashi Empire used for their most zealous warriors in wars long forgotten.” The Witch calmly started before she began to casually walk toward an empty wall of the room. “I won’t bore you with the details, but you’re essentially undead until I put your heart back into your body. The time one has before the heart dies by itself varies from days to weeks… so I wouldn’t get sidetracked if I were you.”

When she reached toward the wall with her left hand, the painted nails on each of her fingers stretched out for several inches. The wood quivered and melted by her touch like it was made of wax, until a gaping hole large enough to walk in appeared. “Once you’ve claimed my prize, go to the Scarlet Monastery. I’ll be waiting there for you.”

An angered smirk came to his visage before he raised the mask resting along his neck to cover his expression. “Fine.” he surged holy magic through his left hand abruptly. He took note of the fact that he did not feel pain from the Light, meaning that he hadn’t quite fullycrossed the bounds into undeath just yet, “You’re going to have to help me with this hand if you want me to brave the traps you won’t dare.”

Aodin perked a brow but stared at his hand for a few moments in silence. “And what exactly are you asking of me?”

“You expect me to believe you can tear someone’s heart out, keep them ‘alive’- I use the term loosely-, stitch them back together, have a gaggle of undead children about, know about hidden ancient grimoires from a long lost kingdom, know forgotten incantations from foreign empires and you can’t help me get my hand working better? If nothing else, it’s pretty fuckin’ painful. And you’re partly at fault for my prolonged misery.” He state matter-of-factly, “You threaten me with my life but who’s to say I wouldn’t have rather joined my beloved and, maybe my brother, in the afterlife? Probably not that asshole for a little while, he did cut my hand off and stab me in the chest. Give me something to work off of here, woman. And where’s that bottle of booze? Fuck, I’ll take rubbing alcohol at this point.” Areus spoke plainly, taking another drag from his pipe as he gave her a deadpanned gaze.

“My you’re a chatty one when you’re excited.” The Witch snapped her fingers, compelling the undead child to step forward with that slender vial filled with a midnight blue liquid. “But you have the details wrong. Only one child - this child - is undead. I hope arcwine will slate your thirst for the time being.”

A shrug was given in response as he winced for a moment. His condition seemed unstable and wore on him before he nodded slowly, “Whatever works. Something. Anything. The voices are coming back and my wrist is killing me.” He haphazardly reached for the bottle, sloshing the contents as he pulled it toward him, keeping his mask lowered just enough to keep the pipe in his mouth and drink straight from the bottle. After a few long gulps he took an exaggerated breath. Areus looked to the Witch before opening his mouth to speak again, paused, and then brought the bottle up to his lips again before devouring the rest of the wine.

He cleared his throat as he tossed the bottle over his shoulder for them to hear it shatter on the ground behind him. “Okay. I guess that’s as good as it’s going to get. See you at the monastery, girly.” The Shadow Priest gave her a wink, “Won’t be long. Make sure you’re there. The vault isn’t far off from it.” A few steps toward the exit and tendrils of shadow reached out to consume him into nothingness while he disappeared from sight.

Aodin stood in her home in silence for a few moments before turning to look down at the forsaken child. “What do you think? Shall we kill him once he returns with my prize?” The child glanced up at the Witch with cold yellow eyes, but said nothing.

“Fair enough.”

Collaborated with @areussunrael

Mentions: @k-sunrael

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diddlesanddoodles · 8 years

Text

BITTER LEMONS MAKE (GT/Fantasy)

Prologue to Salted Lemonade.

This monstrosity is a bit shy of 16,000 words. Holy biscuits. I decided to upload the prologue as one big story rather than into short chapters as I originally intended for the sake of simplicity and because I don’t have the patience to upload another story via separate chapters. Also, I am a person who appreciates a good long read, especially GT stories since many tend o be short. And I hope the people who do read my stories appreciate it as well. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy it.

The changing of the leaves brought the first frost of the coming season as well as excited talk of costumes and candy and parties. Recess was spent ogling over the newly released Party City costume insert from last Sunday’s newspaper and fervent discussions on who would go as what or as who. Most of the girls in her class were all fawning over the newest Disney Princess costume. The deluxe one that came with the nicer wig and accessories with a price tag to match. Astrid wanted to be a zombie. Not a princess or something girly like that. A proper and true zombie with blood and guts and lots of cool make up.

But her Mother did not like her daughter’s idea and had been not so subtly suggesting she pick something with more frills and skirts and sequins. To which Astrid had cheekily suggested that she could go as Mrs. Lovette. Her mother shot down the idea after doing a google search on the character.

So as the number 24 bus drove down W. Gulliver Blvd, Astrid was in deep thought about her costume choices. She did not want to go door to door dressed as a floofy cupcake like every other girl in town. Every Halloween since she could rightly remember, Astrid had gone with whatever costume idea her mother had. She never had anything against them because they were always funny or unique. But this year, her mother seemed determined to see her daughter in a puffy pink dress parading around like the Princess of Prussia. All Astrid wanted to be was an undead brain eating monster. Maybe they could compromise and she could be a Zombie princess.

She was jarred from her thoughts when the bus slowed and stopped. Looking up, she saw Rosita’s diner and the shell gas station, a full three blocks from the next bus stop. Her bus stop. A crack of static from the loud speaker drew the attention of the bus passengers and the driver’s voice spoke out.

“Attention all Jessup Road passengers. We got construction on Herald Circle and a wreck blocking Main street, so I’m afraid I’ll be having to drop you off here. Come see me up to the front when disembarking and I shall issue you a refund receipt.”

With a sigh, Astrid pulled on her jacket and slipped her yellow backpack onto her shoulders before slipping off the hard plastic seat, standing aside as a young man in a high school jersey nudged passed her. Following the young man, an elderly woman with a two wheeled hand cart filled with groceries, and a businessman with a cell phone pressed to his ear, Astrid collected her refund receipt.

His bored and lazy expression sharpened into something resembling mild concern s as Astrid waited, hand outstretched for her receipt.

“You live close by, kid?” he asked.

“Yeah. Off of Comly.”

“Oh, okay. Well, tell your folks to go to that URL on the back and sign into your account. Follow the prompts and put in that code, it’ll refund your buss pass,” said the driver, handing her a small slip of paper. She muttered a quiet thank you and stepped off the warm bus into the chilly air. She could cut through the strip mall and walk down Forrest St and walk straight into her backyard. She would be home in five minutes.

The young man in the high school jersey and matching jacket seemed to have had the same idea and was heading towards the strip mall. He had paused by the window to the Hibbett’s Sports and by the time he had moved on, Astrid had caught up, passing him by. After the Michael’s craft store, there was the large expansive overflow parking lot. There was a few semi trucks parked off to the side and a few employee cars, but it was mostly empty. The high school boy’s legs were much longer than her own and by the time they were almost half way across the asphalt, he had passed her again. He flashed her a smarmy lopsided grin. Astrid scrunched her nose and stuck her tongue out at the back of his head.

Under her sneakers, the ground shivered. Stopping, Astrid looked around her and hearing something jingle, she looked up at the light post. She could see it sway slightly. The young man had stopped too and was glancing around curiously.

“Oh man,” he said with an excited grin. “That was an earthquake!”

The ground shivered again. And bucked. And swayed. Astrid cried out as she fell to her knees, unable to keep on her feet as everything that should not be moving was moving.

“Ah, cool!” yelled the older boy, his excitement was nearly palpable. “This is awesome!”

Astrid was no where near as excited as he was at experiencing her first earthquake. There was nothing as sturdy and as present and solid as the ground a person walked on and to feel it move and buck like a horse was terrifying. And she would very much like for it to stop.

However, instead of complying to the wishes of a fourth grader, it got worse. There was a crack like the sound of a whip somewhere nearby, and the wind started to kick up. Astrid watched the dirt and small rocks fly about in the wind as it began to turn and twist and there came a sudden shift in the strength of the wind’s spin. She felt herself sliding as the twisting air pulled at her. Her bare hands batted feebly at the ground, trying to find purchase. She heard the older boy scream as he lost his balance and fell hard on the ground and too began to slid towards the eye of the cyclone. Their fear filled eyes met for the briefest of moments before the surface below them dropped away and the pair fell into the nothingness.

…………….

The nothingness gave way to sound and air and an uncomfortable tightness in her chest. She gasped for breath and tumbled into the dirt. She heard the sound of someone gasping loudly and suspected it to be the older boy.

“Uuugh,” he muttered. “Augh, my chest.”

She whined in feeble agreement, rubbing her sternum as she pushed up from the ground. It felt as though someone had punched her. There was a pungent smell of pine that greeted her next inhale of air and she raised her head, curious. Her stomach clenched. All around were trees taller than any she had ever seen. The seemed to stretch high above them like hands reaching up to block the sky. Their sharp needled branches, looking like tiny clawed fingers against the orange light of the dying sun.

Wait. Sunset? Astrid glanced at her cell phone. 3:22 PM. And no signal. The strip mall was no where in sight. In fact, the only thing she could see were the huge trees. Trees and dirt and rocks.

“Where the hell...?” asked the boy aloud, sitting up from where he had been laying. “Crap...these trees are freakin’ huge!”

Carefully pulling herself up from the dirt, Astrid rose to her feet and winced against several new aches. Her backpack was a familiar and comforting weight against her back and shoulders.

“Hey. Do you have a cell phone, kid?” The boy asked. In his hands, he held a thin white iphone.

“Yeah,” she replied, flashing him a small black brick that was her prepaid Nokia. “But no bars.”

“Me neither. Damn,” he replied, glaring at the useless piece of metal in his hands. “Well. This day has been very weird.”

Astrid nodded numbly, still starring at the trees and wondering how such giant things could exist. And a though struck her.

“I think I know where we are!” She exclaimed, excited at her genius.

“Where?” asked the boy, a hopeful glint in his brown eyes.

“California!”

The hopeful glint was replaced with an incredulous raising of an eyebrow. “California.”

“Yeah.”

“Suuuure. We just magically popped across the country. California is like...500 miles away!”

“But the trees,” she replied with a huff. “They’re big.”

“I noticed that.”

“And they have big trees in California.”

A spark of recognition hit him. “Oh! The redwoods!”

“Yeah!”

“Hey, you might not be wrong,” he replied. “But still. How the hell did we get to California?”

………………………………..

If she thought the weirdest thing that had ever happened to her was being magically being tossed across the country, Astrid was in for a troubling development. In the form of a thirty foot fence.

After several moments of standing around uselessly with plenty of indecisive grumbling as to what to do, they ultimately decided to pick a direction and start walking for as long as the light held out. Despite conventional wisdom telling them that it would have been better to stay where they were. They reasoned that no one would be searching for them in the Redwood nation forest when they would be reported missing several states away. So best go find a park ranger or something. Before it got dark.

So when their path was abruptly blocked by what appeared to them as a wall of chicken wire, they were confused.

“Who builds such a huge fence out of chicken wire?” the boy, Tommy, mused bitterly. Astrid ran two fingers along the metal. The wire itself was thick. Thicker that the power cord to her Grandpa’s shop vac and though the weave of the metal did resemble chicken wire, it was much sturdier and did not have near the give and sway that she normally associated it. “Damn, this thing’s tall too.”

“What do we do?” Astrid asked, starting to feel sweaty and dirty. A hot bath sounded good. And a sandwich. She was getting hungry.

“I say we follow it,” Tommy shrugged. “I mean, it’s gotta lead somewhere right?”

It was starting to get dark and the temperature was dropping fast. Her plush red flannel jacket was keeping her warm enough, but her face was chilled and she was rubbing feeling back into her nose and cheeks. The denim of her jeans was stiffening in the cold. She followed after Tommy as he continued on down the fence line. After about an hour, she noticed to her other side more fencing. They seemed to be coming to a point where the fences met.

“Hey, look!” Tommy exclaimed, pointing ahead. “There’s a gap there.”

Sure enough, just where one would expect the two fences to meet was a generous sized gap. A gate perhaps? Tommy jogged ahead, leaving Astrid to toddle along behind. The boy’s long legs brought him quickly over to the gap, kicking up forest debris as he went. Astrid saw the faint orange light of the setting sun bounce off a reflective surface, hidden under pine needles and dirt. Curious, she walked over to it and as she got close enough to see that it was indeed metal, there was a faint clink from under her sneaker and there came a horrendous crashing of metal and screaming hinges. She screamed as walls rose from from every direction and snapped shut, tossing Astrid backwards. Her shoulders slammed into metal bars.

“What the crap was that?!” Tommy yelled, whirling around. His eyed widened. “Holy-! Oh god, are you okay?!”

Astrid’s entire field of vision was framed by bars. Metal bars. Cage bars. It was a cage. She was in a cage. It took several long moments for this fact to sink in and Tommy was already at the cage, pulling on what he assumed to be a door. There was a huge bolt keeping it closed. Four feet long and several inches thick. It looked as though it could weigh an easy 100 lbs. No matter how hard Tommy yanked on it, it would not move.

Astrid was on her feet, pulling and pushing every piece that looked like it might move. But nothing did. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of blue light, startling both of them. Atop the cage was a blue light that blinked and fluttered like a police car light.

“Please, get me out!” Astrid pleaded. The belated sense of panic was taking root in her mind now. It had been easy to be enthralled by the bizarre circumstances, let the novelty and wonder take precedent. But now accumulating evidence was beginning to leave her terrified. The trees were huge. The fence was huge. This cage was huge. She felt small and helpless. She wanted out. She wanted to go home.

“I don’t want to be here anymore! I want to go home!” Astrid cried.

Tommy bent down to her level, looking at her through the bars. He looked almost as terrified as she felt. “Look, just...uh, calm down. Okay? You’re gonna be fine. I’m gonna...” he trialed off, looking around hopelessly and then up at the blinking light. “I’m gonna try and find someone...I’ll...”

He stepped back, starring at the sky. His own sense of wonder and awe was gone as well. Replaced by panic and fear.

“HELP!” He screamed up at the sky. “SOMEBODY! PLEASE!”

“Help!” Astrid added, though she could not manage near the volume.

“ANYBODY OUT THERE?” Tommy yelled.

They carried on for a good while, screaming at empty air for help. But then, from the near silent forest came a familiar sound. A welcomed sound. Foot steps. The wave of relief was acutely palpable and Astrid almost sobbed in relief.

“Hello!” Tommy yelled, walking towards the sound. “Is somebody there?”

“Aye. That’d be me,” replied a calm voice. It echoed oddly, but both Tommy and Astrid were so relieved to have finally been found to notice. The prospect of going home filled Astrid and her face broke out into a wide happy grin. She would go home and tell her mother that she would gladly wear the gaudiest, fluffiest, pinkest princess dress she could find and go trick or treating with a skip in her step.

Tommy was almost laughing with relief. “Mind giving us a hand? Some freaking nutcase set these giant traps and my friend’s stuck inside.”

There was a laugh, a low chuckle, and the foot steps got closer and closer. And louder and louder. A dark shape amongst the trees drew their focus. It was large. Tall. Impossibly tall. The footfalls were much louder now and tremors shook the ground.

The joy of being found was starting to fade and uncertainty took hold. Fear bubbled back.

The dark shape stepped up to the gap in the fence and the dying light cast them in a deep orange light. It was man like in body, but in size it was monstrous. As she starred, everything seemed to suddenly click in Astrid’s mind. The impossibly tall trees. The thirty foot fence. This absurd cage she was trapped in. And now, a mere 100 meters away, stood a giant.

An honest to goodness giant.

He was slightly shorter than the fence, but not by much. Easily twenty something feet. Appearing middle aged with brown hair and dull gray eyes. His ears were large and laughably shaped with shared similarities to those of an elf. He was dressed in a long dark coat with something strung across his back and at his side was what appeared to be a dog. An eight foot tall dog. Lithe and thin snouted with long shaggy black fur and piercingly blue eyes. It sat on its haunches, calmly watching. “Sorry to put a damper on things, little fella...”

Both Tommy and Astrid froze and their eyes widened as their brains struggled to process what they were seeing.

“But, y’see,” continued the giant with a smirk, flashing a set of wickedly sharp canines. “I’d be that freakin’ nutcase who set them traps.”

An alarming sense of nausea took over everything. Astrid felt like her insides were being pulled down to the bottom of her feet. Adrenaline sparked through her limbs, making her hands tingle. The giant was watching them, taking in their much smaller forms and smiling enigmatically all the while. The large dog at his side did not move, but its blue eyes never left their trained focus. On Tommy.

“Gotta say, you two are mighty lucky I happened by this section,” said the giant brightly as he stepped closer. Tommy visibly recoiled and took several cautious steps back. Astrid shrank back to the furthest end of the cage. The giant took little to no notice. “Don’t come down this way much anymore. Haven’t seen anything pop through here for almost a year. Figured the partition healed or something. But here you are. Heh. And two of you as well! Must’ve been quite a collapse to suck two of you lil’ snippets up in one go.”

“Look, uh...sir. We don’t want any trouble,” Tommy said, voice cracking.

“And I ain’t here to bring any to you,” replied the giant simply, his shoulders rising and falling in a lazy shrug. “So long as you cooperate, that is.”

“Please,” Tommy continued, a desperate lilt coloring his words. Worried eyes flickered over to Astrid and back to the giant, one shaky hand gesturing to the trapped girl. “Just...let her out. We’re just trying to get home, sir. We just want to go home. Please.”

The giant’s overall pleased demeanor faltered and his eyebrow narrowed every so slightly. The curl of his smile withered. “Ain’t no goin’ home for you two now. Best come to terms with that. Make it easy for yourselves.”

“W-what do you...” Tommy muttered with a narrowing of his brow and taking a deliberate step back. “ You can’t keep us here. Of course we’re going home!”

The giant regarded the pair for a moment and his expression changed to amusement. He stifled a laugh. “Not unless you figured out how to rip space and time apart, navigate the inbetween, and rearrange your own atoms back together in the proper order and in the correct location.”

Both humans were struck dumb.

“It’d be a mighty neat party trick,” added the giant. “Pay good money to see that.”

Astrid felt decidedly sick and her breathing was becoming erratic as she began to panic. Tommy did not seem much better.

“So, how about we wrap this up, hm? It’s gettin’ mighty late,” the giant said, striding purposefully towards them now. “And it’s nearly dinner time.”

Images of every monster movie she had ever seen flashed in Astrid’s head. Gnashing teeth and buckets of blood, glass shattering screams, and the long pained death throws of the doomed victims. All of it was wrapped in the form a twenty something foot man who making his way straight for them.

She turned to Tommy and yelled. “RUN!”

The older boy did not even spare her a glance before he turned and bolted away, his long legs and adrenaline filled veins carrying him far and fast in a manner of mere moments. Astrid heard the giant release a long frustrated sigh. “Silly boy.”

“Knew it,” quipped a new voice from behind the giant. But all Astrid saw was the dog.

“Tippan,” the giant said, glancing over his shoulder at the dog. “Fetch.”

“He looked like a runner,” replied the dog. Astrid had only the briefest moment to marvel, or tremble, at the prospect of a talking dog – a talking eight foot tall dog – before she watched in horror as the large hound bolted off after Tommy.

“Now then,” came the giant’s voice much closer than Astrid remembered and she turned and found him kneeling over the cage and peering down at her. “Let’s get you settled away, sweetheart.”

Astrid pressed herself into the far back corner, staring up at the enormous figure. She felt hot tears streaming down her face and her breath was caught in her throat. He dipped his shoulder and slipped off a large square pack from his back. In the dim light it was hard to really tell, but it looked like it was made of boiled red leather. On the side facing Astrid, she could see a small window cut out. It looked like something a person would carry a pet in. Or something a giant would keep captured humans in. He studied her for a moment and his eyes narrowed in concentration.

“Well I’ll be damned. A kit!” said the giant in astonishment and he leaned down closer. He smiled. “Never had one fall through before. Huh. You’re just a little smidgen of a thing, aren’t you?”

“Please don’t eat me!” she begged, starring up at him with wide terrified eyes.

His grin widened and he huffed a laugh. “Eat you? Oh, sweetie. As scrumptious as you look, that’s not why I’m here.”

The large bolt that she and Tommy had struggled to move earlier was easily and effortlessly pulled out and the door popped open. A hand crept inside. Astrid curled into herself, covering her head with her arms and whimpered in sheer terror, waiting for the hand to grab her, for fingers to tear her limbs from her body, and for teeth to crush her bones.

“Aw, now. Don’t be like that, little darlin’,” said the giant. “You’re breakin’ my heart here.”

She felt something brush her side and she cried out and tried to scramble away, but large fingers easily wrapped around her and drew her out of the metal trap. Her arms were pinned to her sides, but her legs were free and she kicked uselessly at open air. The giant chortled in amusement.

“Lively one you are,” he muttered. She watched his other hand travel over to the red leather pack and peel back the flap. The inside was divided into two sections with enough room in each one for a person – a human – to stand. He then lowered Astrid into one of the compartments, closing the flap after her and sealing her in. She immediately dropped to floor and curled up. Her heart was beating so fast and it didn’t feel like she could get enough air into her lungs. From the outside, she heard a noise and the giant speak.

“Good work, Tippan.”

She could hear Tommy grunting and swearing. Astrid struggled back to her feet and pressed her face against the window cut out in the leather. There was a kind of black mesh covering the gap and the weave was large enough for her to see out.

The hound had Tommy in it’s mouth, the poor boy’s torso and legs dangling off either side while the jaws of the enormous animal were firmly clenched around his middle. Astrid wanted to scream, but she was relieved that there was no blood and Tommy did not appear to be in any pain. Mostly angry.

The giant held his hands out and the dog leaned forward and allowed the unhappy human to tumble from his mouth and into the waiting hands. Unlike Astrid, Tommy did not freeze up at the sight of the giant. He struggled and kicked and tried valiantly to pull himself from between fingers thick as man’s thigh.

“Let me go you fucking-!”

“Hey now. What happened to all them please’s and sir’s?”

“They fucked off!”

“Now, now. Calm yourself. No need to get all -OW!”

Tommy dropped to the dirt with an ‘oof!’ and was on his feet and running again, but he did not get very far, only a few feet, before the dog – Tippan - pounced on him and pinned him to the dirt. The dog gave a low growl, a warning, before lifting its head back towards its master.

“Okay there, Faro?” asked Tippan. “Did he get you good?”

“Nah. Didn’t even draw blood,” the giant, Faro, remarked and winced. “Still smarts a bit, though.”

Tippan huffed what might have been a laugh. “Serves you right for not having your gloves.”

The giant scowled at the dog while rummaging through a side pocket on the pack. He pulled out what looked like lengths of leather and something else that Astrid could not see.

“Just keep him still for me,” Faro replied as he brought the object in his hands over to the trapped human. The giant’s bulk blocked most of what he was doing, but Astrid could hear Tommy cursing and struggling. Faro seemed to be having a little trouble doing whatever it was he was doing, because he kept muttering for Tommy to calm down or to stop wiggling.

“There!” The giant exclaimed finally. Tippan stepped back and the giant turned towards the pack, granting Astrid a look a Tommy. His arms were crossed over his chest and pinned there with leather straps and the way he squirmed, Astrid assumed that they were a bit snug. But the most startling thing was not him being tied up. No. It was that contraption around his face. A small metal cage around his mouth secured with more leather straps and other bindings.

The giant had muzzled him.

“Really hate to use this thing on you, little fella,” Faro said as he lifted the forcibly pacified human. “But I can’t have you nibbling on my fingers like that.”

Tommy did not answer. He did not even swear. He looked broken. His eyes were wide and they glistened with frustrated tears. The flap above Astrid was pulled aside and she looked up to see the giant bringing Tommy over and lowering him gently down into one of the other compartments. Before the giant closed it up again, his eyes drifted over to her and settled on her for a moment. And then he closed the flap, snapping it closed. They were left in almost absolute darkness with the only light coming in from the mesh window. But by now the sun had all but set completely and whatever light was left did not make it through the mesh much at all. Astrid slid back down to the floor of the pack just as the entire thing rose into the air, tilting alarmingly to the side as the giant strung it across his back.

She hugged herself and tried to hold back a sob.

……………………………

“What is that noise?” asked an irritated Tippan.

“It’s the kit,” said Faro. “Little thing’s scared is all.”

“Well, can you get it to stop?”

“Have a heart, Tippan. She’s probably just callin’ for her Mum.”

“Well, her Mum ain’t gonna be answering.”

“The kit doesn’t know that. She’ll stop soon. Just be patient.”

Astrid ignored the two larger voices and continued sobbing into her kneecaps. The swaying and bouncing of the pack did not help and was a continued reminder of everything that had happened. She knew just on the other side of the pack was Tommy. The high school boy who had been pulled into this mess along with her. She couldn’t understand how he wasn’t audibly crying as well. The giant had sicced his hell hound after him and even muzzled him! She wanted to call out to him, ask him if he was alright, but she was afraid the giant or his hound would hear her. And in any case, Astrid was not sure she could muster coherent words at the moment.

They continued on for a good while in this manner, but as the giant had foretold to his hound, Astrid went quiet after a time. She felt everything and numb all at once. She idly wondered if this was what it felt like for your brain to break. Every physical sensation felt magnified. The sway of her cage. The texture of the pack’s lining, the smell of the air inside it, and pressure of gravity pressing down on her into the cushioned bottom. But inside, her head was alarmingly silent. No emotions were felt. No thoughts heard. Tears were drying on her face and she starred unblinking out the mesh lines window. It was too dark to see anything, but the chilled air from outside would push through ever so often and chill her face with a breezy kiss. She smelled pine and dirt and leather. Foreign and disturbing.

The trees she watched through the window were suddenly illuminated with faint yellow light that brightened the further the giant walked, approaching the source of the light.

“And here we are,�� said Faro with warmth in his voice. “Home sweet home.”

“Finally,” said Tippan. “Food and sleep!”

“First thing’s first,” said Faro as Astrid heard more than saw him climb a short set of stairs. “Gotta settle the humans away.”

Tippan moaned. “Can’t we do that tomorrow? I’m tired. And hungry. Just toss ‘em in the kennel and feed me!”

The giant laughed.

“You haven’t done anything today!” There was the sound of metal clinking together that Astrid recognized as keys. She could hear him push one into what she assumed was the lock on a door. Sure enough after there came the sound of a key turning and a lock clanking and then there was the distinct sound of a door opening. She felt the back of her mind tingle as the numbness gave way to a torrent of emotions. There was fear and dread, but down below all that was a faint curiosity for which she almost felt ashamed.

“I chased down the runner,” argued Tippan, sounding hurt. “And just so you know, that one’s pretty fast. Might not have caught him so easily if he hadn’t tripped.”

“In any case, we’ll still need to settle them away first. Gotta follow protocol,” Faro replied. “I’m not gonna leave the little fella muzzled and hog-tied all night.”

“You could.”

“I’m not, though.”

“Might teach the twerp not to bite,” Tippan sighed dramatically. “Alright, boss. Have it your way.”

Astrid watched through the window as the giant walked into the house and was reminded of the time she and her family went camping in Montana. They stayed in a log cabin with walls that looked very similar to the walls of the giant’s home. Even the smell was similar. For the most part. There was an oddly sour scent to the air mixed with the smells of the natural wood that she could not place. The walls were sparsely decorated with small shelves covered in odd nick knacks. A painting of a waterfall. An elaborately made clock carved from wood and brightly painted. The numbers were replaced with strange symbols.

The pack swung sideways as the giant slipped if off and setting it down onto a table, made from the same wood as the walls. She heard the clasp on the outside snap and the flap was pulled away. Her dark corner of the pack lit up. There was a scuffling noise from the other side of the pack and she heard Tommy curse. In response, she looked up in time to see the giant pulling Tommy out. He closed the flap back down, but did not lock it.

She peered out of the window to see Faro holding Tommy in one hand so his legs dangled off the edge of the palm and supporting the human’s back with the other. The giant was looking at him sternly.

“You’re gonna behave now, aren’t you?”

She saw Tommy nod fervently.

“Good. Because I’m gonna take this off you. But believe me, if you get snippy again, I won’t hesitate to put it back on. And it won’t be coming off for a good while. Understand me?”

Again, Tommy nodded.

Faro sat Tommy down on his feet and undid the leather bindings, sliding the muzzle off. Tommy’s face was pale and his hands were shaking. The giant sat down in a chair facing Tommy, dropping the leather and muzzle into a heap off to the side. Wordlessly, he reached into his coat and pulled out a pad of paper and a pen. He popped the pen’s top off, set the tip to the paper, and gazed at the trembling human.

“What’s your name, little fella?”

“T-thomas Contini, sir.”

The giant took a note, the edges of his mouth twinges in a small grin.

“How old are you, Thomas?”

“I’m seventeen, sir.”

Another note.

“Know your blood type by chance?”

“My blood…? Uh. Yeah. O negative.”

“Good,” replied the giant. “Not many of you tend to know.”

More notes.

“Any allergies?”

“N-no.”

“Illnesses?”

“No. Not really.”

“Yes or no, Thomas.”

“No. No illnesses.”

The giant was silent as he wrote several more notes, glancing up at the human ever so often as though he was not completely confident that he would not bolt at any moment.

“C-can I ask...why you want to know...all that?” Tommy stammered.

“It’s not so much as wanting to know than needing to know. For your records.”

“My...records?”

“Oh just spell it out for him,” Tippan snapped. “Sooner you’re done, the sooner I eat!”

Faro sighed as he sat the pen down and pinned the boy with a look. “Answer me this, Thomas,” he said. “Do you know where you are?”

Tommy fidgeted, looking around warily. “Uh...in your house?”

The giant grinned. “In a larger sense than that.”

“...C-california?”

The giant rolled his eyes. “No. You’re not in Kali Fonia. So many of you humans say that. I’m tempted to start keeping a count. No. You’re no longer on you’re original plane.”

“Original plane? I...I don’t understand.”

The giant leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. “What’s the last thing you remember before waking up in the woods?”

“There was...an earthquake and it got really windy and...”

The giant nodded. “What you experienced, Thomas, is what we here call a Partitional Rip. Or a collapse. Happens when the membranes of our mutual planes come in contact with one another repeatedly and over time the area becomes weakened and imbalanced. With all things needing to be equal, the energies must correct themselves and that is what causes a Partitional Rip. A portal opens up on your side of the plane and more often than not, one or more of you little buggers are sucked in, passed through the inbetween, and dropped down into our plane.”

Tommy looked ill as he absorbed the information. “So...when you said we weren’t going home…?”

“I meant that there’s no possible way to get you home. You’re here because cosmic energy needed to balance themselves and used you, and you’re little friend there, as counter weights.”

“So...if we’re not...on Earth, where are we?”

“Still called Earth. We never had a word for the actual world, it was just the world to us. But about, oh, three hundred years ago or so we adopted the Anglish word for it. But beyond that, in a more literal sense, you’re in Audenvier. North Audenvier, Caidence Valley. On my ranch. In my house and on my table.”

There was a pause and Tommy squinted up at Faro.

“...Anglish?”

“That’d be you. You’re Anglish.”

“Uh...I’m Italian…?”

Faro huffed a laugh. “Anglish just means you’re light skinned. As apposed to being Berunti, Piq, or Savoh.”

Tommy ran a hand through his hair and looked all around him, everywhere but the giant. Almost as though he were searching for an alternative to the piece of knowledge that Faro had just unladen upon him, his breathing became deep and near panic when none presented itself. Finally he looked to Faro, his eyes watering.

“So,” he choked. “...what happens now?”

“For you?” Faro asked, the humor gone from his eyes. “A change of clothes, something to eat, and then sleep. Actually, when we’re done here I’ll be doing those same things myself.”

“A change of clothes? W-why?”

“Part of my job is to collect anything wild humans bring in with them. Folks with long titles and expensive degrees wanna study them.”

The human was gaping incredulously at the large man across from him. “Wild?”

“Any human that comes here due to a Partitional Rip is considered wild,” he explained. “Meaning you were not born in captivity or hand raised.”

“Captivity? Like...like animals and shit?”

The giant looked exasperated for a moment and seemed to consider something. He leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. “Allow me to explain the greater idea here: on my ranch, there are seven weaken areas where collapses occur. I set up traps around those areas so when a human does pops through, I get to them before any predators do.”

“Predators? Like what-”

The giant frowned. “Don’t interrupt me, Thomas.”

“S-sorry...”

“As I was saying: I’m a human trapper. That’s what I do for a living. I bring any humans I catch back here to my house, take their basic information down like I just have with you, and get them ready to be sent to the closest clinic for further evaluation. If everything goes well there, you’ll be put up for adoption by the end of next week.”

“A-adoption?” Tommy asked, the word seemed to tumble clumsily from his lips. “You don’t mean like...a pet, do you?”

“Exactly.”

“Humans are pets here?!” Tommy looked ready to bolt again and the giant seemed to sense it too. He brought his arms to rest on either side of the distraught human. Tommy flinched at Faro’s movements and was still, standing rigid and scared as he stared into the giant’s face.

“That’s right,” he told the boy simply. “Highly prized too. The waiting lists in some counties can be astronomical to speak nothing of the vetting process. There’s an expression along the lines of it’s easier to be elected to office than to adopt a human. Hardly true, but the paperwork to be approved it quite extensive.”

“I...I...ah...I’m...” Tommy rubbed his face, struggling hard with the idea.

“It’s alright. Normal to feel oddly about it.”

“Normal to feel odd?” Tommy yelled. “That’s the most underrated statement of the year!”

“Perhaps to you at this moment. But I give this speech a few times a month. For the last fifteen years.”

“W-why though? Why pets?!”

“Long time ago, we mostly left you humans alone to do whatever you did out in the woods like any other living creature. But then your numbers started to drop and at one point there were almost no humans left at all. Disease, predators, low birth rates. It all ran a hard number on the population. Governments stepped in to try and rescue your species and over time, it evolved into a pet trade. If you get adopted by a historian, he’d be able to explain the minutia of it all. But even now human populations are still vastly smaller than they were even a hundred years ago. You’re a heavily protected species here.”

“What if I don’t want to. Be a pet, I mean. Do I get any say in this?”

“You wanna go try and live out in the woods on your own?” The giant seemed very amused a this idea. “You don’t strike me as very outdoorsy. Ever meet a Rhwren? Or a Mountain Roc? Because they’d be very happy to meet you. And the feeling won’t be mutual.”

“I guess they’re those predators you mentioned earlier?”

“Yup. They’d swallow a little thing like you up without a second thought.”

“I just...really do not like the idea of being someone’s pet.”

“I will never understand you wild humans aversion to the idea,” Tipppan added from somewhere below the table. “Being a pet’s great. Free food, warm bed, and belly rubs! What is to hate about that?”

“It’s a perfectly normal response, Tippan. Most wild humans hate the idea, at first at least. A certain portion of you fail the evaluation to be adopted in any case.”

The human boy looked ready to faint. “What happens when you fail an evaluation?”

The giant chuckled and raised a hand slowly up towards Tommy and lightly petted him on the head. Tommy, for his part, looked utterly lost as to how to respond and ended up merely allowing the contact, but went absolutely rigid under the giant finger’s ministrations.

“Oh, don’t look so forlorn,” said the giant. “Nothing bad. Typically, they’re sent to a zoo or a sanctuary. And getting back to the changing clothes, we do this for two reasons. The first being what I said about folks wanting to study it. Second, is to help with your transition. Make the break a little easier.”

“I...I don’t understand. I’m sorry, but I...” The giant’s hand was still at his head, lightly petting the messy mop of dark hair. Faro’s dull gray eyes stared at the boy, looking sympathetic, but there was something in his expression that made it seem like he was very accustomed to consoling overwrought humans.

“The kindest thing I can do for you right now, Thomas, is to get you prepared for the next step. The life you knew when you woke up this morning is gone. Forever. And you can think me cruel for saying so. Plenty of humans have and do. After all, I am paid to catch and sell you lot. No use mincing words or dancing around the truth of it. You’re not the first human to take a nip at me. Or even the worst, not by a long shot.” The giant used the crook of one finger to gently brush back Tommy’s hair. “But you’re still young. Young ones bounce back easier. You have a good chance to to get into a good home with a good family and find some peace in all this. Just try and keep that in mind as you go through all these steps.”

Tommy’s shoulder shook as he began to sob. “So...it’s real. This is really happening. I’m never gonna see my family again, am I? Ever?”

“No,” was the simple response. “I’m afraid not.”

…………………..

Tommy was near inconsolable for several moments. While the boy broke down on the table top, the giant got up and disappeared for a few minutes before returning with some items. He sat them down in front of Tommy.

“I know you’re feeling poorly right now,” said the giant. “And truth be told, you’ll feel like this for a good while. No one thinks this is an easy process for you. Certainly not me. But the sooner we get on, the sooner you get something to eat and then its off to bed. Might not sleep much, but you’ll have a quiet moment to sort out yourself. I’ll need you to remove your clothes, though. Got something here for you to change into. It gets cold here and this’ll keep you warm.”

Tommy looked like he wanted to protest, a bubble of indignation rising up, but it was quickly swarmed by utter despair. With slow, reluctant movements, he began to shed his jacket, his jersey, and then his jeans before putting them into a small bag the giant held open for him. His cell phone went in as well his wallet and a pack of unopened gum. Soon he was standing there in only a pair of blue boxers, looking up at the giant expectantly.

Faro shook his head. “All of it, Thomas.”

The boy blanched and began to stammer. “I-I can’t even keep my damn underwear?!”

“Afraid not.”

For a moment, indignation won out over fear and he was angrily muttering to himself, looking all around and back at the giant, his face red. “W-well, can you at least turn around? Let me keep some shred of my dignity? Or does that go in the bag too?”

“That much I can do,” replied the giant, grinning. He reached over to the pile of items and pulled out a single garment, dyed black. “Put this on when you’re done.”

Tommy was beet red in the face as he quickly ripped off his boxers and kicked them off before hurriedly scampering into the new clothes. It took his a moment to figure out the zipper as it was not where he expected it to be. Instead of down the front or up the back, it ran the length of the inside of one leg, across the groin, and down the other. After he finished zipping it up, he rolled his boxers into a ball and angrily shoved them into the bag with the rest of his belongings. He starred at the contents of the bag, looking torn. He sighed heavily.

“Done,” he said lowly.

The giant turned around and spared the boy a smile. He grabbed up the bag and pulled a white adhesive strip from the side before folding the top over and sealing it, quickly writing something on the outside of the bag before dropping it somewhere out of sight. Bending down closer to Tommy’s level, he regarded the freshly dressed boy. “Just remember what I told you and you’ll be fine. Might seem bad now. But trust me. It’ll get better.”

“Doesn’t look like I got much choice,” Tommy replied dejectedly.

The giant just sighed and stood back up to his full height, hands reaching out for the human once more. Tommy looked nervous at the giant hands, but did not struggle when they carefully gathered him up.

The giant strode away from the table and disappeared beyond Astrid’s range of sight.

……………….

Astrid remained silent and still at the bottom of the pack compartment. There was an unpleasant tightness in her chest and every breath she took seemed to send shivers down her body. Faro’s words echoed hauntingly in her head.

Fifteen or so minutes later, the giant returned. He was balancing two white plates in one arm while the other held onto a bundle of white fabric. With careful movements, he set the plates down first and then the bundle. One plate was piled high with a mysterious goopy meat mixture and the other was a slice of dark bread, two oily fish, and the biggest lemon Astrid had ever laid eyes on, three times the size of a large watermelon easily. The giant picked the plate with the goopy meat mixture and sat it on the floor.

“Finally!” Tippan said happily and there came the sound of joyous gluttony from below the table. “Food, food, food! Oh glorious food!”

Faro chuckled as he turned his attention to the red leather pack.

“Now it’s your turn, little one,” said the giant and he pulled the flap open and peered inside. Astrid did not meet his gaze, but sniffed miserably as she fought back more tears. She felt the heat of his hands first and then the meaty flesh as it curved around her and lifted her up with a careful and deliberate slowness. He sat her down on the table just as he had with Tommy and Astrid got her first proper view of the cabin. It was not a large space compared to the giant that lived there, but there was an unmistakably homey feeling about it. Off in one corner there was a stone fireplace and a large squishy chair. A shelf with a modest collection of books and assorted chachkies. A short hallway lead further into the house.

She heard him sit down and it was only then that she looked up. Now that she got a proper look at him in adequate light, she noted that his brown hair had streaks of gray in it and his chin was scratchy with stubble. His gray eyes were trained on her and she noted the minute movements of the irises as he studied her. Releasing a sigh through his nose, the giant tilted his head at her. “You heard all I told Thomas?”

She nodded meekly.

“Have any questions?”

She sucked in a breath, preparing to answer, but thought better of it and released it as a resigned sigh. Questions. She had millions. And none at the same time. Astrid shook her head. Faro nodded knowingly and reached for the pen and paper once more.

“Well, I’m gonna be askin’ you the same questions, alright? So, let’s start with the easiest one: What’s you’re name?”

“...Astrid,” she replied, her voice barely a squeak.

“Need your full name, sweetie.”

“Astrid Malloy.”

“And how old are you, Astrid?”

“Ten and a quarter.”

The giant paused to look at her and for the first time, seemed surprised and genuinely sad.

“Younger than I thought. Hm.” He made an extra line of notes, reaching over to his plate and grabbing the lemon. Astrid watched in confusion as he took a large bite out of it, flashing his sharp teeth for a moment before they sunk into the yellow flesh of the fruit. His face did not pucker in the slightest. He chewed for several moments, gazing at his notes, deep in thought, before swallowing and asking, “Do you know what blood type you are?”

She shook her head, still watching in bizarre fascination. The giant nodded, setting the fruit down. “Alright. Well, I will need to know. So for us to find out, we’re gonna use this here.”

He pulled out a small egg shaped device from the pile of items he had brought in before. It was the size of a basketball with a small hole on one end and a digital read out on the other. He held it out in front of Astrid. “See that little hole there? Just put your index finger inside and the machine will do the rest.”

Astrid looked at the device and carefully raised her hand towards it and stuck her finger in the aforementioned hole. Something sharp abruptly stabbed the soft pad of her finger and she yelped and pull her hand away. The tip of her finger was bleeding from a pin prick sized hole. She immediately stuck the wounded digit into her mouth and glared up at the giant, but his attention was drawn to the small read out on the device. It beeped twice.

“Type A positive,” he remarked aloud. “A good thing for you to know off the top of your head. That way if someone needs to know, they won’t have to prick your finger again.”

He added another line of notes and taking another bite of the lemon. Astrid wondered if maybe the fruit only looked like a lemon. Because who in their right mind would eat a lemon by itself, peel and all?

“Alright, next one: any allergies?”

“Um. Pollen, but only sometimes. I don’t take any medicine for it.”

“Illnesses?”

“No.” A pause. She had to ask. “Why are you eating a lemon?”

The giant’s eyebrows shot up, surprised at the question. He smile and shrugged as he jotted down his notes. “Because I like lemons. Don’t you?”

“Not by themselves. They’re too sour.”

“I like sour things,” the giant replied in amusement. “Most Feirgians do. Sour, salty, bitter, and pickled things. Like these pickled fish here. We love’em.”

Astrid was now certain that the oddly sour smell she had detected earlier had been pickled fish. Being within such close proximity to the plate of the oily, wrinkly skinned fish, the smell was much more acute. It bordered on being unpleasant, but it was mostly just odd. She looked at Faro curiously. “W-what’s a fair-shen?”

“Feirgian,” he corrected patiently. “And that’d be me. I’m a Feirgian.”

“Oh.” It was an answer that did not seem to answer anything at all.

Faro put his pen down and propped his head in one hand, regarding the young human with amusement. “What did you think I was?”

“A giant,” she replied simply. “But you’re ears are pointed.”

“You’re quite the sharp one, Astrid,” he replied. He turned his head and ran a finger along the top ridge of his ear. “Feirgians all have ears like this. Helps us hear really good. That’s how I was able to hear your hollering from so far away.”

Astrid nodded absently. “And you don’t eat people...right?”

Faro laughed. “No, Feirgians most certainly do not eat humans. Me included.”

“Oh. Good. I was worried.”

“And why’s that? Because I’m big?”

“...and you have really sharp teeth.”

“Need them to eat lemons.”

“I...guess?”

Faro laughed again.

“Okay. So, I’ve got your basic info,” the giant said, picking up the pen and finishing the last few notes. “All done with that. Now, Astrid, do you remember what I said about not being able to keep your things?”

Astrid gripped the straps of her backpack in response, feeling her gut tighten. “Yeah, but...can’t I just-”

“No,” said the giant flatly. Astrid looked up, biting her lip. Faro narrowed his eyes. “Now, don’t go giving me that long face. You’re cute, kichtein, I’ll give you that. But I’ve got rules I have to follow. I’d lose my license if I broke them.”

“Not even my books?”

“Not even your books.”

She pulled off her backpack and unzipped it, peering inside. The smell of school wafted up from inside it. Pencil shavings, pages of her text books, and the lingering smell of the banana that she had brought in her lunch bag. She pulled out her homework folder and opened it. Her math homework was half done. There was a science worksheet that she had gotten a B plus on. A flier for the school Halloween party. Putting away the folder, she reached inside again and pulled out her Hello Kitty pencil case, her history text book, her grammar work book and a library book she had been meaning to return. It was already a day over due. Crumbled at the bottom of her bag was the Party City costume circular, a zombie outfit circled in sharpie. She looked at it for only a moment before shoving it and everything else back inside and zipping it closed. She shoved it forward, tears dripping off her chin, and watched as large fingers plucked it up from the table and slipped it into the plastic bag just as he had with Thomas’s things.

There was a heavy moment when no one said anything. And then finally...

“My Mom wanted me to be a princess,” she said, staring at nothing in particular. “For Halloween. But I didn’t want to because all the other girls in my class were going to be princesses. I wanted to be something scary like a zombie. Because Princesses never win the costume contests. And I really wanted to win this year. I never win anything.”

The giant listened, watching the small human as she seemingly rambled about nonsense.

“This morning,” she continued. “I got mad at my Mom because she hated my costume ideas. I called her a mean name and went to school. I didn’t tell her goodbye like I always do or that I love her...”

Fat droplets fell from her chin and she hiccuped as her words unraveled into outright sobs. “I wish I could tell her I was sorry. I don’t care about the costumes anymore. I just want to say I’m sorry...”

Covering her face with her hands, she cried. For her Mom. Her Dad. Her grandparents and uncle and aunts. The nice neighbor lady who would give them vegetables from her garden and who had taught Astrid how to prune roses. Her room, her bed. The toys in the toy chest, the clothes in her closet. The lumpy sofa in the living room that still smelled like dog pee, even years after the death of their elderly Labrador. Her house. Her town. Her world. She was being told she had to leave it all. Shed it from her body, peel it all away, and drop it into a plastic bag. Like it was a dead thing.

“I hope you believe me,” Faro said gently. “When I say that if there was any possible way to get you home, I’d get you there. It’s always a sad thing to see young humans fall through. Even worse that you’re only a kichtein.”

She felt his finger brush the top of her head and she lifted her gaze to met his eyes. “But you can certainly believe me in this, little one: you’re going to be just fine. I know you’re mighty scared and you miss your folks. It’s natural to feel that way and I’m sure they’re gonna miss you to pieces, worrying about where you went and if you’re safe. And you are. Because it’s not just my job, but my moral responsibility to make sure you stay safe and sound. For as long as you’re in my custody. You and Thomas both. Even if it’s only for tonight.”

“W-what’s gonna happen to us?” she asked thickly, brushing tears from her cheeks and chin. “Y-you said that humans are pets and...”

“Tomorrow, I’ll be taking you both to the local clinic. There’s some nice folks there who are gonna make sure you’re healthy. Get you ready to go to new homes.

“But sometimes people aren’t nice to their pets,” she mumbled. “What if..?”

“Gonna stop you right there, sweetie,” Faro said. He used the crook of a finger and lifted her chin up and giving her a warm smile. “Moral responsibility, remember that? Not just me, but all folks who work with humans. Lots of the folks at the clinic are volunteers who are there to make sure that if you’re adopted, that you go to a good home. With good people. Because they care. And with you being a kit, they’re gonna make darn sure whoever might adopt you is a good person. So in that, you don’t have to be afraid. Okay?”

She took in a shuddering breath. “Mm-hm.”

Faro brought out another of the same clothing that Thomas had changed into. It resembled footie pajamas to her, with the zipper around the inside of the legs. It was made of black flannel and the inside was lined with soft fleece.

“This is the smallest one I got,” Faro was saying. “I’ve never had a kichtein come through my ranch before. My neighbor’s caught a few over the years, but none as young as you, I don’t think. So this might be a tad loose on you.”

He handed it to her and she took it tentatively. She met his gaze. ��What’s that word mean? The weird one you keep calling me?”

“Kichtein?” he asked. “It’s the Feirgish word for a young human.”

“The literal translation is ‘little squeaker’,” came Tippan’s voice, once more from below the table. “Because you’re little and you squeak.”

Astrid mad a face. “I don’t squeak.”

“My ears say otherwise. Kichtein.”

“Alright,” Faro said sternly, though he wore a small grin. “Enough, Tippan.”

“What? She asked.”

Faro gave her a small nod of encouragement. “Go on, Astrid.”

As soon as he turned his back to grant her some privacy, Astrid slipped out of her clothes.

“Remember, Astrid. All of it.”

“...I remember.”

She added her underwear to the pile of clothes and pulled the black pajamas over her head, pushed her head and arms through the appropriate holes, and zipped up the bottom. “It’s a little big,” she said.

Faro turned back around and snickered. “Aye,” he agreed. “Just a tad.”

It was several sized too large for her. It might have fit someone a good foot taller than her and the excess fabric pooled around her hips and legs. Before she could do it herself, Faro plucked up her discarded clothing and added it to the bag that held her backpack. She watched it disappear as it was sealed up and put away. There was a palpable sense of loss. Her skin felt odd in the new clothes, knowing they weren’t really her own. She felt scared that all that she had fallen into this strange new world with, she was not permitted to keep. Oddly enough, she really missed her underwear. It felt weird to not be wearing underwear. It was rude to not wear underwear.

She felt herself tear up again. She sniffed.

Faro picked up the white fabric, a blanket, and wrapped it around her gently. His large face dominated her view of the world.

“Something to eat,” he said. “And then it’s bedtime for you, kichtein. You got a long day ahead of you.”

…………………………………..

Faro gave her a sweet tasting biscuit and some water before carrying her to the back of the cabin where there was a small room off to the side of the kitchen. Inside were cages, set into the walls and lined with plush fabric. Tommy was inside one, curled up with a blanket and appearing to be asleep. At the sight of them, Astrid felt like crying again and pressed her face into the fabric of Faro’s shirt.

“I don’t want to be in a cage!” She whimpered. She felt fingers at her back, rubbing softly. “Please don’t make me...”

“Shhh, little one. It’s just for tonight,” he told her. “You won’t be in there for long. Got to keep you both secured until tomorrow.”

He sat her down in the only open cage, beside Tommy’s. She huddled into the blanket she was wrapped in, whimpering in fear. Faro rubbed his hands along her sides, trying to calm her. When the tactile approach failed, he sighed in disappointment.

“Don’t be scared,” he whispered. “It’s just a place to keep you. You won’t be here forever.”

Astrid wouldn’t meet his gaze and buried her head under the blankets, giving off a single whine in response.

“Hm,” Faro said contemplatively before turning away and walking out of the small side room. He reappeared mere moments later with something in his hand. “Do you know what a Rhwren is, Astrid?”

She shook her head.

“I believe the Anglish word is bear,” he said and raised his hand for her to see what he held. It was a small stuffed bear. “Rhwren’s are seen as guardians to Feirgians. They guard the forest, the rivers, the mountains. And people. This one here, Astrid, is for you.”

Astrid pushed her head from the blankets, looking at the bear curiously. “It is?”

“He’s gonna be your guardian,” Faro told her and placing the bear in front of her. She reached out and pulled it close. It was half her height and very fuzzy. Its eyes were solid black and it’s mouth was nothing but a black thread stitched in a line with two points to make it appear that the toy had teeth. “When you’re feeling scared or nervous, just give this little guy a squeeze. He’ll keep the bad things away. He’ll protect you.”

Astrid wrapped her arms around the bear’s neck and buried her face in the plush fur. He smelled like pickled fish and pine, but there was a palpable feeling of security in the soft touch of something vaguely familiar. She could almost pretend that she was back in her own room, snuggling one of her own stuffed animals.

“Thank you,” she said, raising her head.

“Try and get some sleep, little one,” he told her quietly. “It won’t be so scary for much longer.”

…………………….

The next morning was a flurry of confusing activity. Faro woke her and Tommy up, gave them both another sweet biscuit and water, before shuffling off to do something and leaving both humans on the table. Astrid clung to the stuffed bear with one arm while she munched on the food.

It was crumbly and did not have a real flavor other than being lightly sweet. It was not the most appetizing thing she had ever eaten, but she was hungry enough not to care. For his part, Tommy looked horrible. There were dark circled under his eyes which were red and raw. Like he had been crying all night. He absently plucked small pieces of biscuit and slipped them between his lips, but didn’t really chew.

“Are you scared?” he asked her quietly.

“Yeah,” she replied.

A pause.

“I’m sorry, Astrid.”

“Why?”

He sighed. “I...don’t know. I just am.”

She regarded the other human for a moment and nodded. “Yeah. Me too.”

“You really have nothing to be so scared over,” said Tippan as he leaped onto a chair and laid his long head on the table top, eyeing the pair. “Humans are treated pretty well here.”

“Sorry if I find the concept of loosing my freedom terrifying,” Tommy hissed and bit into the biscuit vindictively.

“Loosing your freedom? Ha!” Tippan said, his black lips pulling back into a grin. “You’re gonna be adopted. Not enslaved.”

“What’s the difference?” growled Tommy.

“Well, for starters, one involved manual labor and servitude,” replied the dog. “While the other involves belly rubs and food.”

“You’re really hung on on belly rubs, dude.”

“They’re the best part. After food. Food is the best part. What I’m saying is that you’re idea of being a pet is all screwey. Some nice, and most likely rich, Feirgian is gonna take you home, make you apart of their family, and then spoil you rotten for the rest of your life. How is any of that a bad thing?”

“Have you always been Faro’s pet?”

“Since I was a pup.”

“So you’ve never lived with other...dogs, like you? In a pack or a community? Independent and self reliant?”

“Nope. Sounds tedious.”

“So you’ve never been the one to steer the direction of your own life? To make the choices that decide how and where your life goes?”

Tippan seemed to weigh those words carefully. “Nope. And I have no interest in it either.”

“Well, that’s a choice. And for us, Astrid and I, well, we’re being told that we’re not able to make them anymore. I mean, jeez! I literally had to hand over my underwear. My godddamn underwear. For what? Really? Because it might remind me of home? Of being my own person? Of being free?”

Tippan regarded the angry boy for a moment. “Hm. Well. You may have some point there, but it’s all irrelevant now. You’re gonna go be evaluated and they’re going to decided for you if you’re suitable for adoption. And from what I know of the other alternatives, kid, you wanna be adopted. Do yourself a big favor and do what you can to get adopted. Because if you’re worried about having any sense of freedom, you don’t want to go to a zoo. Sanctuaries, from what I hear, aren’t much better.” Tippan’s eyes drifted over to Astrid. “That goes for you too, squeaker. Though I doubt you’ll have a hard time getting adopted. Kit’s are always the first to go.”

Astrid was hugging her bear tightly, nuzzling the soft fur of its neck and peering at Tippan over edge of one of its ears.

“I’m not so scared about...about being adopted. I’m scared that...” she paused. “I’m scared that I won’t see my family again. What if I forget what they look like?”

Tippan shifted so his head lay closer to Astrid, close enough she could feel his breath on her knees.

“I still remember my Mum’s face,” he said. “Haven’t seen her since the day Faro took me home as a pup. But I will always remember her face. Her smell. You won’t forget. Even if you wanted to. Even though she’s not here with you, she’s still apart of you. She’s half of you, after all.”

Astrid lowered the bear a little and nodded sadly. She never considered that before. That her mother was half of her. Literally half of her. The other, her father. There was a great sense of comfort in that idea. Tippan lifted his snout and pushed his wet nose to Astrid face. She giggled, pulling back with a squeak when he stuck out the tip of his tongue and gave her a gentle lick. He sat his head back down on the table with half lidded eyes and a small smile playing on his lips.

“See? You do squeak.”

Faro returned a short time later, carrying the red leather case as before. He sat it down on the table before turning his attention to the two humans. “I called ahead to let the clinic staff know I’ll be dropping the two of you off. Apparently yesterday was quite the event, several collapses all over the county. Three other trappers are bringing in catches. So you’ll have some company.”

“Such joy,” muttered Tommy sarcastically. “I cannot contain it.”

“Just try and keep your spirits up,” Faro suggested, lifted the pack’s flap. “And remember what I told you, Thomas.”

The boy’s gazed dejectedly off to the side. “Yeah. I remember.”

Faro then carefully lifted the human up and lowered him down into the pack. He turned to Astrid.

“And you, kichtein,” the Feirgian said, reaching out and tapping the head of the stuffed bear. “If you get scared, you know what to do, right?”

Astrid tightened her grip on the bear as an answer. Smiling, Faro nodded and gently stroked the top of her head, his fingers trailing down her back before retreating. He then picked her up, studying her for a brief moment. “You’re going to be fine.” He glanced down at Tommy inside the pack. “Both of you.”

He then slipped Astrid, bear and all, down into the other compartment before closing the lip and snapping it shut.

…………………

“We’re here.”

The sound of Faro’s noisy little pick up was all Astrid could heard for what seemed like hours and when it abruptly cut off, it left a definitive ringing in her ears. She rubbed them lightly as new sounds became more prominent. The squeal of the seat as Faro slipped out of the truck, the slamming of the door. The muffled crunch of his boots on gravel as he walked around to the passenger side door and the sudden unadulterated sounds of the outside as he opened the door. She could hear other voices, but what struck her odd was that the words that were being spoken, at least those she heard, were not English. Truthfully, it did not sound like any language Astrid have ever heard. Before she could contemplate any further, Faro lifted the pack from the passenger seat, and shut the door behind him.

“Stay here, Tippan. I won’t be long.”

“Will do.”

Astrid pressed her face to the mesh window and peered around. Settled in a clearing, surrounded by towering pines, was an innocuous little white brick building. The front door was painted bright green with something written in gold letters, but Astrid did not recognize the letters. It looks utterly foreign to her. Faro stepped through and into the clinic…

...and into chaos.

The receiving room was being accosted with noise. Several Feirgians stood about the small space with what looked to Astrid like luggage. However, one of the pieces of luggage had a window and through it peeked the face of a human woman. The cases contained other humans. Even from where she was, Astrid could tell a lot of the noise was coming from the encased people. Someone was screaming every bad word Astrid knew and several she didn’t. Someone else was talking loudly in what sounded like...spanish? And there was also the unmistakable sound of helpless sobbing.

When Faro entered, the gathered giants all turned and greeted him with wide grins and a chorus of “Faro!”

And then a string of gibberish that Astrid did not understand. Faro replied in kind, in the same odd language, and waved at the cases containing the humans. Words were exchanged between the Feirgians and one of them pulled his sleeve up, to reveal a bandage. He gestured to one of the cases next to him. It was smaller than the other, big enough to only hold a single grown human. It seemed to be the source of the angry cursing.

Faro laughed at whatever the injured Feirgian said and then patted the top of the pack holding Astrid and Tommy. She heard the word Anglish and kichtein and several of the giants made sounds of surprise.

“You don’t say!” one of the giants replied, switching to flawless English. An unfamiliar face ducked down close to Astrid’s window and smiled when his large eyes caught sight of her. “Oh, aye. She’s a little sprigget of a thing alright. Gonna walk away with a healthy commission there, Faro. Lucky bastard. Twice the money, half the work.”

“Hardly,” Faro replied.

Astrid squeezed her bear and buried her face in his fur. Despite what she had told Tippan that morning, she was scared. The sounds of the other humans, the other giants, and the displeasing scent of a sterile, bleach scrubbed room. It reminded her of a hospital and the last time she had gone to a hospital was when she was seven had broken her arm riding her bike. She had been terrified the entire time just as she was now. But her parents weren’t there to soothe her. Or to reassure her. She would not go home afterwards or get an ice cream cone on the way for being so brave.

A depression settled over her like a blanket.

…………………………

“Are they all English speakers?” someone was asking. “All Anglish this time?”

“Got a Savoh yabbering away in spanish,” said someone else. “But he understands English fine. And two Berunti, same deal.”

“Alright, good. That makes this easier. So I’m going to be speaking in English for the remainder of our business and suggest you all do the same.”

“Why’s that? Never been a rule before.”

“It’s not a rule, just something we’re trying out. Our sister clinic in Barbos tried this out and saw some encouraging adoptions numbers. The thinking being, if the humans understand what we’re trying to accomplish here, their more likely to behave and pass their evaluations. Which means higher commissions for you gentlemen.”

“Well, I’m all for a higher paycheck.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“I’ve been saying this for years,” Faro added with a laugh. “Talk to them in their own language and they won’t panic and freak out as much. Lot less likely to bite too. That Berunti girl wouldn’t have gouged you like that, Calvin, if she knew you weren’t trying to kill her.”

“I’ve been doing this for eight years,” grumbled a giant. “I know how to handle wild humans.”

“And I’ve been doing for fifteen. A little compassion goes a long way, Calvin. Trust me.”

“You try being compassionate when one of them little buggers is trying to carve out an artery. How does a knife that small hurt that much?”

Someone cleared their throat. “If we could continue on, gentlemen? Calvin, an intern will be by to collect your feral human. You said you had her secured?”

“Boxed and muzzled,” came the gruff reply. “I kept the knife in another bag. Wasn’t sure if you needed it or not.”

“No, that’s alright. It’ll go to Kluedachsen when the rep comes by tomorrow with all their other personal effects. Just make you the incident report is attached to the carrier, if you please.” A pause. “Faro, you mentioned that you had a kichtein?”

“That’s right.”

“How old?”

“Ten.”

“Okay, you first, then. We like to get the younger ones processed first.”

The pack shifted and Astrid flopped over as it rose into the air. Through the window, she watched the receiving area drift farther and farther away before the bulk of a white door cut it off from view.

“This will be the first kit I think we’ve gotten from you,” said the unknown giant as they walked down a blindingly white hallway.

“She is. Never had one come through,” Faro replied. “Not in all my years of trapping.”

“It’s not very common,” agreed the other giant. “When it does happen, they’re almost always with another older humans.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“Well, the prevailing theory is that whatever triggers a collapse is initiated on the human’s plane and whatever the catalyst actually is, kichteins can’t trigger it by themselves.”

“So they’re collateral?”

“That’s the current theory at least.”

Faro sighed. “Sad.”

“It is. Which is why we take great care with them. So many folks who adopt humans all want kits, because they’re all high energy and always happy and want to play. But a wild kit and a domestic one are worlds apart. Which you probably figured out quickly.”

“She’s actually one of the more well behaved humans I’ve caught.”

“Well, that bodes well for her. How about the other one?”

“Anglish male. Seventeen. Skiddish. A little mouthy, but no more than usual.”

“We can hear you,” snapped Tommy, his mildly irritated voice slughtly muffled by the wall between him and Astrid. “Just so you know.”

Faro chuckled. “See what I mean?”

“A good week for you then, huh?”

“Pretty good.”

The slightly swaying of the pack stilled for the briefest of moments as there came the sound of another door opening before Faro followed the other giant into a new room. Astrid’s stomach dropped to the floor as a wave of vertigo swept through her and the pack was lifted and set carefully on what appeared to be an examination table.

“Alright, Faro,” said the unnamed giant, appearing on the other side of the window, a clipboard in hand. “If you would.”

“The kit first, right?”

“If you please.”

The darkened interior of the leather carrying case was illuminated and Astrid lifted her head to see Faro reaching inside. As he lifted her out with the same care and gentleness as he had previously, she got a proper view of the room. Wholly unremarkable was the relatively small space as it was almost completely identical to a normal examination room. Stark white walls, a counter running along one wall, various tools and applicators in jars, drawers, and cabinets overhead. There was a device to one end of the counter that looked like a scale fitted with a tray. Along the back-splash were items of a more nefarious nature. Various muzzles, bindings, and straps were hung on hooks for easy access. In case a human got bitey, Astrid imagined. She thought back to the receiving room the one human who had been boxed up apart from the others. It must be a common occurrence.

Almost as soon as Faro released her onto the table, another, unfamiliar, set of hands were beset upon her. She flinched at the sudden fingers pressing on her arms and side, holding her still, as a large face of the other giant lowered down close to her. He was bald, but had thick gray eyebrows and brown eyes that peeped out from behind thin wire framed glasses. She met his eyes, watching him warily, as she waiting for something to happen.

“Oh yes, she is a young one,” the Feirgian murmured. He was dressed in brown trousers and a sweater made of various bands of green, all under a long white lab coat. Brown eyes looked her up and down and whatever it was he was searching for, he seemed to have found it as he then stepped back, opened a drawer, and drew out a black plastic square. He then pulled a sheet of paper from the clip board and sat it down near her. “Alright...” his words trailed off as he gazed down at the papers briefly before looking back to the small human, “...Astrid. My name is Dr. Weis and I’ll be taking some measurements and get your records done. We’re gonna make sure you’re good and healthy, okay?”

Astrid nodded, wishing she had grabbed her bear when Faro pulled her from the pack.

“Ever have your prints done?” Dr. Weis asked her as he pulled on purple latex gloves.

“...when I was born at the hospital,” she replied, her voice quiet.

“Well, we’re gonna do the same right here,” he said patiently, setting the black square down and removing the clear plastic cover. His brown eyes watched her as though to gauge her reaction. “This is just regular old black ink. Nothing special. We’ll do your feet first, alright?”

She nodded. He instructed her to unzip the bottom of her suit, releasing her feet from the black fabric and he hummed in approval when she followed through with his directions under her own volition. When she had finished and her feet were touching the cold metal of the table top, he carefully plucked her up, again seeming to study her reactions, before lowering her down so her feet were pressed to the ink pad. It was startlingly cold and wet, but the contact was very brief and soon her blackened toes were being pressed down onto the paper, inside a pre-marked square.

“Brilliant,” said the doctor in an overly chipper tone and then producing a moist towelette from somewhere and quickly wiping off the ink from her feet. She wiggled in his hand, unable to suppress a giggle at the ticklish ministrations. He flashed her a smile. “Sorry. Tickles a bit, does it?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, now let us get your hands,” said the doctor. He then held her over the ink pad. Suspended in the air like superman, she instinctively understanding what he expected of her and Astrid pressed her hands onto it. The pad effectively marked her fingers and palms in austere black. Then as she hovered over the large sheet of paper, she planted her inked hands into a second box, pressing down firmly as instructed. “Perfect. You’re doing wonderfully, Astrid.”

The same towelette was used to wipe away the ink from her hands and as soon as they were clean, Astrid slipped her feet back inside her warm suit and zipped it back up. Then she was weighed by being place upon the tray set above the scale. Her height was noted. A sample of her saliva was taken and placed in a tube, shaken, and the liquid poured into a tray separated into five sections. Each one turned a brilliant blue.

“All negative,” Dr. Weis said aloud. “Good, good. Very good. That means no shots for you, Astrid.”

“Oh good,” she said. “’Cause I don’t like needles.”

“You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who does,” Dr. Weis replied with a smirk. Though his amiable nature and overt attempts to reassure her were appreciated, Astrid could not truly relax. The records Faro took the night before were transferred over and all forms of various papers were clipped, stapled, and assembled before all being tucked into plain brown folder upon which her name was written in fat black marker. Dr. Weis removed his gloves and slid the clip board over to Faro. “If you could sign there, next to her name. Sonya will have the release forms for you after the boy’s evaluation.”

Astrid blinked. That was the evaluation? That was it? Somehow she expected there to be more to it. More questions, more poking. Something like the way cops interrogated bad guys on television. But it felt more like she had just had a normal check up. Was there something she missed?

Or more to the point: Did she pass?

As Faro was signing the paper, Dr. Weis walked over to the door, opened it, and leaned out. “Sonya. Advest yeir Jarden mon heist? Ver kichtein.”

“Suden rikt.” replied a female voice.

When the doctor turned back, his eyes fell to Astrid. “So now that your evaluation is done, Astrid, Sonya will be bringing you to my associate, Jarden. He’s going to get you ready for quarantine.”

Her heart rate spiked and she blanched. Quarantine? Was that bad? It sounded bad. Wasn’t quarantine the thing that happened when people were really sick? Was she sick? Oh god…

Her panic must have been showing because the doctor bent down and ran his thumb across the top of her head in a gesture of gentle reassurance. “I know it’s a big scary word, but do not let it upset you. All humans who are approved for adoption have to be quarantined for three days. The only thing that happens is you sit in a big comfy room all day, getting ready to go to a new home.”

“O-oh...um, how come?” she asked.

“Well, the humans who are born here don’t have the antibodies to a lot of the illnesses you do and can get really sick from them. So we are very careful not to introduce dangerous illnesses. Even though you’re not sick, you still might carry them in your body. In your saliva, your blood, and other bodily fluids and materials.”

“Oh, okay. That...makes sense, I think,” she replied. She looked back at the pack, thinking of her bear, and turned back to the doctor with a hopeful lilt of her eyebrows. “Can I keep my bear?”

“Bear?” Dr. Weis asked.

“Oh, right!” Faro said, reaching into the pack and bringing out the small stuffed toy. “I gave her a Rhwren. I didn’t think to ask if she could bring it with her.”

“It’s not a problem,” Dr. Weis replied, smiling down at the little human girl. “I’ll make a note on your chart. Just in case.”

Astrid grinned in relief when Faro presented her with the bear. It might have been a small gesture to the two Feirgians, but for Astrid, after having to give up all her possessions, having something that was wholly her own was an enormous comfort. She had fallen asleep the night before, stroking the soft fur, feeling the hard plastic of its eyes, the stiff threads of its mouth, and the rounded ends of its paws. The tactile activity had brought a desperately craved sense of calm. And he made for a fantastic pillow.

She hugged the toy happily and then the door opened. A Feirgian woman with short curly brown hair, bright green eyes, and dressed in pink scrubs entered. “Jarden frare heist totkurt danem. Des Kichtein ver korcumt knut swarzen.”

“Ah, vank saden, Sonya,” Dr. Weirs said to the woman. Astrid met his mildly apologetic expression curiously. “Unfortunately, some of our volunteers do not remember much of their English lessons. Most Feirgians in Audenvier know at least some English, but a great many are fluent, so you’ll hear it a lot. More than other human language. Mandarin is a close second, but it’s more common in Lerdachest. Audenvier sees mostly Anglish and Berunti.”

“We have no idea where that is...” Tommy’s voice quipped from the pack.

“Part of the quarantine involves an assimilation period,” Dr. Weis replied. “Jarden will answer any questions you have. Including geography.”

“I’ve got a long list at this point, doc.”

“I’m sure you do. However, we must press on,” Dr. Weis then reached out for Astrid and she could not keep from gripping her bear just a tad more securely to her as his large fingers gripped around her body and lifted her from the table. Turning towards Sonya, Dr. Weis held out the small human child. “We have a lot of humans to process today. Hopefully most of them will be joining you in quarantine.”

Sonya’s hands were cold compared to Dr. Weis and even though she apparently had no idea what was being said, she still gave Astrid a pleasant smile. As she turned to leave, Astrid caught the slimmest look of Faro pulling Tommy from the pack. She waved anyway, unsure if Tommy saw her. As the door closed behind them, Astrid hoped that she would be seeing Tommy in quarantine soon.

She hugged her bear a little closer.

…………………………

Without any windows, the quarantine room’s only light came from strong florescent ceiling panels that cast the room in a blindingly white light strong enough to force Astrid clench her eyes shut as Sonya entered. Blinking blearily through the painfully sharp brightness, the space began to materialize before her. Modestly sized and rather cookie cutter in appearance, the main feature seemed to be the center of the room where large square plastic bins had been tipped onto their sides, creating a sort of open ended shelter. Placed in a loose circle, there was enough room between each of them for a Feirgian to easily walk around and indeed sit in the center of. Inside each bin there looked to be blankets of some kind, arranged in a way so as to turn them into a kind of makeshift nest. Off in one corner, almost as an afterthought, was a door. Painted the same blinding shade of white as the rest of the room, the door’s fit was so flush with the rest of the wall that it would be almost invisible if not for the copper colored hinges and knob.

“Jarden?” Sonya called out into the empty room.“Bentkeir von shaurser. Kichtein wier kervos dan?”

“Kervos heist don ver,” replied a voice muffled from behind the door. “Vank suden.”

Sonya walked to the circle of bins and lowered herself down, carefully placing Astrid next to one of the bins. The giant woman looked to her with an oddly hopeful look as she reached into the bin and patted the nest of blanket as though inviting her to come sit. Astrid just starred, acting as though she did not understand. With a mildly disappointed look, Sonya rose back up to her feet and left the room.

Astrid watched her go, peeking out from behind the bulk of the bin. The door shut firmly with a soft click and she found herself alone in the sterile, all too bright room. Spinning slowly, she took in what little there was to see of the room, but there was a growing discomfort in her guts. Her insides clenched and there was a tightness deep in her chest. It was akin to the feeling one got when they held their breath too long. The craving for air. But no matter how many deep breaths she took, the tightness did not lessen.

A curious and rather ironic sense of being trapped filled her bones despite the enormous proportions of the room. She was a mouse in a great space, but it suddenly felt too small for her. The whole of it all was unraveling too fast and her mind was having terrible difficulty gaining purchase.

Yesterday morning, she had awoken in her own bed: warm, safe, and familiar. She spent the day at school: safe, familiar, and secure. Got sucked into a worm hole: fantastical, unknown, and unnerving. Caught by a giant: impossible, uncertain, and scary.

Whatever form of shock had been buffering her consciousness from the reality of it all was beginning to crumble. And she was afraid. Well and truly afraid.

Not the kind of afraid when you got bad grades or did something naughty. No, this kind of afraid was different. An all encompassing, primal, sort of fear. Like when you first started to learn to swim and you reach for the edge of the pool or a floaty and it wasn’t there. And you panic. And flail. The ground it gone and you’re reaching, but there is nothing to hold onto and you begin to sink and you can’t breathe.

The ground is gone...

There came a sound akin to the jingling of a utensil drawer mere moments before the smaller door opened and a giant unlike any of the others stepped through. Long legs delivered him across the room in moments and large blue eyes fell to Astrid, who starred back with wide eyes. He was taller than either Faro or Dr. Weis, a full head taller than Sonya, and though he had the same pointy ears and sharp canines, as evidence from the brilliant smile he wore, his skin was a creamy mocha rather than the peachy pink of all the other Feirgians. With short black curls and a thick build, he was like a living wall dressed in baby blue scrubs.

Gripping onto her bear for dear life, Astrid made a dash for one of the bins and dived into the nest of blankets. The footfalls of the large man followed her, pausing just outside the bin’s entrance. He was crouched down outside of the bin, one hand on its top edge, and he peered inside. His smile was was smaller than before and a delicate curve of his brow added the slightest hint of concern.

“Feeling a little shy are we?” he asked her, voice low. “Not to worry none, you’re fine to settle in where you want. Still have a good bit before Dr. Weis gets through all the evaluations.”

She made no motion or sound to answer of even acknowledge him as she huddled miserably in the piles of soft fabric, clutching her bear. He caught on quickly to her discomfort.

“No need to be scared, kiddo. I know I look all big and scary, but trust me...” He poked at his chest and middle with a finger. Looking up, his smirked at her. “... most of this is fluff.”

Astrid managed a small smile.

“My names Jarden,” said the giant. “What do I call you?”

“Astrid,” she replied quietly. “My name is Astrid.”

#Bitter lemons #gt #g/t story #fantasy #giant #tiny #universe hopping #human pets #sad smols #Astrid #Tommy #Faro #Tippan #prologue #salty lemonade

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