#ava’s demon host

[clowncarr]

do people still do throwback thursday? anyway, throwback to when i was redesigning jasper, my ava’s demon oc! here’s some of the concept art,, do you guys see the vision…very um gorpcore avant apocalypse subversive basic something something

can you tell she yearns for the mines…

[jabberwockprince]

people might've pointed this out already since erios and excessans were introduced two years ago, but i really like the detail of titan's influence throughout the entire webcomic

excessans and their language, for example. it's not weird to think about all the way titan has pushed his culture into the planets and races it colonizes, especially when we get erios admitting to just sign a bunch of shit for strategos that they most likely don't pay attention to. like look at this???

(shoutout to excessans for just singing their entire language btw, it's very cute to me that they're all just. naturals at music)

their fuckin capitalization directly takes from titan's own alphabet. the first letter of the sentence and any sort of capitalization MUST be from titan's alphabet. and even in their own excessan sites and what not, there's an awful lot of titan's language thrown in

and here, a public announcement that reads "new video from dj byte", only the word "from" is written in excessan?

and you could argue that titan language is just easier to use, because more ppl speak and read it. but in TITANS HEADQUARTERS, things are written in the regular alphabet we know

and this isn't some excessan translation moment where we're shown an edited version from their reality so that we can read, because we see that titan language, regular english and excessan are three distinct languages in many occasions? the best example i have at hand is the titan imports to excessa, which are a mix of excessan and titan language (with very few english words thrown in)

...WHICH ODIN SPECIFICALLY MENTIONS NOT BEING ABLE TO READ. AND THAT CHECKS OUT GIVEN HIS BACKGROUND

i just think it's very neat, and it adds a lot of layers to how titan treats the planets he conquers and owns. cause maggie and ava were from a titan refuge/reeducation planet, full of people titan saw as disposable given the scavenger's attack at the beginning of the webcomic. and then odin is from a planet that literally never encountered titan (SUS. VERY SUS. BUT THATS ANOTHER THOUGHT FOR ANOTHER DAY). so it makes sense that these three lack any visual details relating them to titan

but then there's gil, blind devotee to the religion, and erios, political ally to titan, who have these sort of T-shaped collars on their clothes

i mean it could all be a fun coincidence, or common knowledge confirmed through the streams and all but i just rlly love to look into things and the way the designs and everything just work out so well with the worldbuilding and character dynamics has me on a CHOKEHOLD

[tinypaint]

All of the DND themed cards I made for Ava's Demon; with the hosts on the right and their demons on the left~ Only 10 days left to purchase them here, along with all the other cool stuff I've been making for this kickstarter !!✨✨✨

[t3mp0ral1ty-art]

Ava Ire - "Us" Movie Poster Parody

Hello and Happy Halloween everyone! I drew this movie parody poster for the Ava's Demon Discord, who were hosting a Halloween drawing competition! While I didn't win, it was still incredibly fun to participate! (Big thanks to the mods for allowing my submission after the deadline ended you're all wonderful!).

I really like how this turned out! I had an idea for a Silence of the Lambs one that I may revisit...

[fanlovedlt]

My opinion about the previous update last week.

Spoilers but not really for previous avas demon update:

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I love the fact that the party announcement was gonna play during this whole start of the conversation they were gonna have.

They both apparently wake up with literally two airhorns I don’t blame them. Maggie definitely look like that. She had an irritated dream while we all know what Gil was probably dreaming about~~~~~~

Not gonna lie I had to ask my twin sister to read this update for me because I was genuinely worried that this whole conversation was going to go haywire or probably go worse in case of everyone was going to get in disagreement, but I’m glad that Ava also wanted to apologize and admit that she did definitely say some hurtful things to Gil when her only plan was to try to recruit him and get him to trust her.



I’m glad that Maggie doesn’t seem to be butting in and it’s just allowing Gil and Ava to have a time to talk. But not gonna lie I really did like Maggie having her hair down. It just made her look very pretty, and very sort of calm because with her hair up it just kinda look like she was always ready for something while her having her hair down just kind of seems like she’s more relaxed. I don’t know how to explain it. it’s like as a girl myself I always put my hair up whenever I need to do something while I only allow my hair down whenever I know I’m going to relax or I’m just going to chill so I guess it’s kinda like that.



Ava was definitely on a roll here. She seemed as if she wanted Gil to trust her that she would believe him if he were to admit that he has Nevi as a host same way that Ava has Wrathia as her pacted demon.

I also enjoyed that Gil does seem to be listening to her, but doesn’t exactly want to put his full attention towards her probably meaning that he is still having second thoughts on whether or not to fully forgive her or to fully believe her since he’s right on one thing, they are still very different.

Ava honey no it was definitely not fate. I’m sorry, but I feel so bad that these four were stuck with having to be the host of four powerful demons that no matter what affected their life to the point where affected the people around them and affected the way of their own thinking like they couldn’t really spend their childhood doing what they want because there was always something going on.

Example:

Wrathia practically controlled Ava’s life to the point where she made her be abandoned by everyone around her.

Even though we don’t know too much, I want Pedri to Odin, all we can guess is that that similar to Wrathia, Pedri didn’t really controlled Odin, but he did become somebody that Odin was terrified of exact same way that Wrathia terrified Ava.

From what we can guess with Nevi, even though she didn’t hurt Gill in anyway, she did became the reason that when Gil tried to talk about her, or tried to understand her existence, people started considering him a weirdo because he was either seen talking to himself or doing something when he was alone.

And we don’t know too much about Maggie and Tuls, but I can’t imagine on how Maggie had to be careful with being packed with Tuls especially with the leaves, coming out of her hair and having to use his powers to get someone to like her only for that to fail and weaken him a bit.

So no matter what it pained me when Ava started talking about how it was fate that brought them together when in my opinion, they were just the unlucky group that were chosen to be hosts with a bunch of demons who wanted to escape a failed victory of some sort. 

[electricgaunt]

list of characters i'd put on the train!

(also, I tried, but I don't think I can come up with specific numbers, sorry! I did attempt to put them very roughly in order of what I think would be highest to lowest numbers, though):

most ava's demon comic characters (I wonder if trish could see their demons, like with other stand users...)

whirl (transformers, canonical cybertronian size would be so funny, idk how that would work 😄)

the terror s1 characters

javert (les mis)

lackadaisy cats characters

legoshi & louis (beastars)

hater & wander (wander over yonder)

morgana (merlin)

most of the sohmas, maybe tohru too? (fruits basket)

lee hyun (king's affection)

conspiracy carl (the muse arg)

park gangdu (the host)

severance characters

wallace (and maybe also gromit?)

skz family parent characters

roy g biv (monsterkind comic)

komaram bheem & a. rama raju (rrr)

kel (tamora pierce's protector of the small, sorry for stealing the idea from marn)

jo eulho & cel brity (wonwoo's diary)

shaun the sheep characters

abe takaya, maybe mihashi ren (big windup!, and I think abe's number would be consistently higher than mihashi's and it would drive him up the wall, bc I think he would have mob's thing where he'd be like, "I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me! mishashi has more to work through than I do, so why is his number going down!!!)

bonus westworld thoughts under the cut:

I also thought about putting any westworld android hosts on the train, and I think it would ultimately be kind of fucked to do that to them? like in an interesting way but still fucked? like westworld itself and infinity train s2 already have some similar themes going on. honestly sort of feeling that about the severance characters, too, to some degree. and I think putting guest or programmer characters from that show would also be bizarre, just in a different maybe more horrific apex type way?

[quietblueriver]

More BTVS AU. In which the crew convenes to discuss some demons.

Pt. V in this universe. Find the others here.

Nothing much happening here plot-wise, just attempts to get myself writing with fun AU time.

-

There is slime on her sweater. Brown and thick and foul, crusting into something even worse. There will absolutely be a stain, and, as the odor burns at her nostrils, she ponders whether it’s even worth attempting to save the fabric. Maybe Shannon will know a spell that can help. She doesn’t have to worry about the cost of ruined clothing, but she doesn’t like being wasteful. 

Camila, whose wide eyes are working their way down a shelf of crystals, shifts closer, and Beatrice moves to her right, her body rigid in her attempt to avoid contaminating any of the furniture or merchandise or beings in the back half of Cat’s Cradle. 

Her gaze catches on Mary and Shannon in the corner, Shannon sitting on the stairs in the gray sweatpants and white t-shirt she’d answered the door in, her hair having been maneuvered from its sleep-mussed state into a neat low bun. She’d been bleary when they’d knocked at her apartment above the magic shop, but as usual, she’d come without complaint, putting on coffee and giving Camila a book and a suggestion for beginner crystal work before settling on the stairs, Mary close behind.

She laughs as her head tilts up toward Mary, who is leaning against the bannister in her near-uniform black jeans and black hoodie, head ducked and a pleased smile on her face. It’s an expression that appears more and more often around Shannon, whose own cheeks color with a blush as Mary says something to make her laugh harder. 

There’s movement behind her, and a moment later, the smell of Ava–undertones of the cedar deodorant she likes to wear mixed with artificial sweetener and a baseline that is, simply, her. 

She can’t pull apart the pieces, but she knows her, could identify her blindfolded, easily and with certainty. It’s one of the many strange pieces of slayerhood, learning those around her through heightened senses, footsteps and smells and breathing patterns. Heartbeats, if she’s close enough. 

She’s reminded of the wine tastings that her godmother loved to host, her parents and a gaggle of other people important enough to warrant an invitation sitting around the table at a house in the countryside while Beatrice read in the corner. Even at seven, she was fairly certain that the adults were, as Ava might put it, full of shit when they talked about notes of pepper and blackberry and citrus, their lips staining red over the course of the afternoon as the poor sommelier on hire for the day opened bottle after bottle. 

A strand of red licorice hangs from Ava’s mouth as she steps up next to Beatrice, apparently undeterred by the scent of the gunk that the bug-like demon had managed to spew at Beatrice before Ava drove a sword through its heart. She herself had remained, somehow, unsullied by its attack, her cropped black tank and high-waisted jeans suffering only a grass stain during one of her dives. She had frowned at the green marks, pouting as the demon charged and stepping out of the way with a nonchalance that made Beatrice’s heart pound with worry. 

Now, she chews loudly and says, mouth still full of cherry-flavored plastic, “They’re cute, huh?” 

Beatrice lets her lips pull up, briefly, as Shannon laughs again, hums her agreement. They are cute, and Beatrice, contrary to popular opinion, isn’t so much of a wet blanket that she can’t acknowledge it. Of course, she also adds, compulsively, “Don’t speak with your mouth full.” 

Ava snorts, entirely inelegant and still somehow distractingly beautiful, and puts a hand to shove at Beatrice’s shoulder, making contact before Beatrice can warn her away. It’s her own fault, really. It’s not as though the goo is subtle, but Beatrice apologizes anyway, wincing and stepping further from Ava, who’s shaking her hand in the air in disgust. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Ava shudders as she brings her hand closer to her face, pulls out the remaining stem of licorice with a grimace, having found her limit. Beatrice is somewhat concerned that it had taken this long.

“Ugh, Jesus, Bea. I knew you smelled but like, gross.” 

Beatrice blushes, crosses her arms. It’s true, but that doesn’t mean she wants to hear Ava say it. 

“Yes, thank you. I’m aware. I would like to point out that if you hadn’t been so distracted by the grass stain on your pants, you might have been able to stab him before he regurgitated,” she looks down at her torso, frowns, “whatever this is all over me.” 

The bell to the shop dings then, and Superion enters with Lilith trailing behind, both dressed in neatly pressed gray slacks and dress shirts, a white blouse for Superion, a navy button-down for Lilith. Appraising eyes take stock and their frowns deepen, one side of Lilith’s upper lip lifting in clear disgust as she steps closer and then stops, apparently having entered the radius of the smell. 

“You get used to it after a few minutes.” 

Camila’s beside her then, smiling as she lies, and Beatrice notes the shift in Lilith’s posture, the softening of her expression as she says, unnecessarily and with wandering, avoidant eyes, “Right. Good then. Thank you.” When she finally looks back at them, her mouth is twisted slightly, and her shoulders are tighter than they normally are, which is to say, incredibly tight. Interesting. 

Ava’s elbow makes unsubtle contact with her ribcage and Beatrice isn’t proud of the satisfaction that swoops through her at the noise that follows, a kind of yelp of disgust and despair as Ava’s skin becomes further contaminated by the sludge. 

It’s harmless, used by the cockroach creature to immobilize or track prey during a hunt. The bigger concern is that they tend to move in packs, and someone had, just after Ava and Beatrice engaged the first of the creatures, called into emergency services about gigantic bugs near the elementary school. Superion, with assistance from software tweaked by Camila, tracks those kinds of calls and had sent both of them notice to convene at Cat’s Cradle to strategize after they dispatched with their target. 

Camila, of course, did not charge for her services but did track the calls, and she and Mary had been waiting for them by the stairway to Shannon’s apartment, shrugging at Beatrice’s raised brow and providing as explanation, “It’s only 10pm, Beatrice. It’s Friday. We’re bored.” 

Superion makes her way with purpose toward the table in the back of the store, and they all follow, everyone giving Beatrice and Ava as wide a berth as possible. She pulls a book from the back shelf and opens to a page near the back, places the text in the center of the table so that they can all see the illustration on the yellowed page, a six-legged demon with gigantic wings (used as shields, thank goodness) and beady eyes, small head with a wide mouth. The next page shows the demon in an upright position, making the sword-like nature of its upper four legs apparent, and next to that is a sketch of a dark puddle, a paragraph description underneath. 

“Blattaria demon,” Mary reads. 

“Yes.” Superion shifts her eyes between Ava and Beatrice, lips pursed. She does not acknowledge the others, but she has come to accept, at this point, their involvement and speaks freely in front of them. “If our information is correct, there will be at least a dozen by the school. We’ll need to move quickly.” 

Ava bounces next to her, a new strand of licorice having been produced from somewhere. She is living with the smell, then. Beatrice envies her. 

“What’s the plan, boss?”

Superion gazes at Ava, a flash of something like regret passing over her as she says, almost a sigh, a concession, “The most efficient way to get rid of them is with fire.” 

A grin spreads slowly over Ava’s face as she takes a last bite of her candy, swallowing before turning to Bea.

“Sweet.”

[letsgetsinfulbaby]

Do you have any headcanons of Pride Ava? Would her and Odin's dynamic be any different if their demons were switched? (Like Odin with Wrathia and vice versa)

pride ava

I feel like I read somewhere that if Ava had Pedri then she would have already been dead but I don't remember if that's canon?

Assuming it's NOT id imagine Ava still being abused by her demon, if Wrathia hated Ava for being a weaker and lower lifeform compared to herself, imagine Pedri the embodiment of PRIDE being linked to a mear COMMENER. He would not treat her kindly

but at the same time, I feel Pedri may try to build her self-worth to be better than those around her.

it's hard to say knowing nothing of Ava's parental situation.

so she could have also been someone of high regard, a teacher's pet, using favoritism to her advantage to rule over her fellow classmates.

a classic queen bee situation.

maybe something Ava and Maggie could bond over.

I don't know if they would be friends at the current time because Ava may feel high and mighty like Odin does. She would be able to do better in school and not get in trouble as much.

wrath Odin

probably got in fights with his brother a LOT

fighting for power and rule of the planet/kingdom

may not have as close a connection to Magpie seeing as Wrathia would do everything she could to ruin his life

He may still be smoking to get rid of his demon, possibly more depending on the damage Wrathia could do

ironic though a demon with fire abilities is stuck on a planet of ice.

I think Odin would have more of an anger issue and not be as patient with Ava or Maggie when trying to find hosts, and Ava will be more prideful making it difficult being on a re-education planet with people she may see as lesser than her. I think the dynamic would be about the same maybe but with different challenges.

[clowncarr]

experimenting more w/ my rendering, this time featuring the never seen before spirit/alien/demon haunting jasper, evobessis ethylan!! very sweet and kind looking, almost seraphim-esque (which is fitting bc he was a minister when he was alive)

his skin is also really fun to do, trying to blend orange and blue without it being rlly muddy inducing, but i still think jasp’s is a little more fun just bc the color is more subtle on hers. his hair and wings are like my fav though even though im still just trying to figure it out more… yay rainbows

[jabberwockprince]

redesigning and making ref sheets for some old OCs for artfight, starting with my ELITE follower Syntagmatarch Four <3

the supreme judge and diplomat, overseeing the legistlation of TITAN's laws in every single colonized system, as well as ensuring that everything runs smoothly (politically speaking)

every trial they participate in ends with a guilty veredict, so that's fun! their personal weapon is "Fair Judgement" - a scale they use to judge peope, which turns into a sniper rifle that tracks its targets with bullets that corrode someone from inside out, therefore "exposing their corruption" (TY DOL FOR THAT <333·). lots of "if you were innocent, you wouldn't have been accused in the first place" vibes and they DESPISE being told they're in the wrong

[djsherriff-responses]

Hmmmmm so tempted to make an Avas Demon au out of Captain Laserhawk

Mostly because I like the idea of Dolph being Leptys' host and Bullfrog being Polokus' host

[tinypaint]

Hey everyone! I'll be doing a Kickstarter this Autumn for Ava's Demon: Aftermath!!

🌟 You can sign up at this link to be notified on launch day🌟

We will be printing this new version of book 2 as well as reprinting book 1 if you missed it.

We will also be making holographic keychains, enamel pins of the hosts, a lenticular print, a sketchbook, a bunch of minicomics, and most importantly if we hit the stretch goal, an Ava plushie!!

[kkglinka]

Ok, so I've been backreading Warrior Nun fandom meta, and random assortment of fics, and I definitely have some contrary opinions. Typical me. :)

The halo is advanced medical technology that doesn't belong on the mortal realm because it channels and is powered by faith energy. (it needn't be religious faith, as the show repeatedly emphasizes, Jillian, Mary and then Ava all demonstrating other forms). It is medical tech that is inappropriately being used in a combat capacity. Much like using a cardiac crash kit as a taser — you can, but that's not what it's for.

We know that the halo will reject individuals, likely based on their mental profiles, and how focused they are on life and living. Someone in despair, too ambitious, too willing to martyr themselves, who otherwise loses faith in living becomes incompatible The biggest clue is how Adriel first chooses as the meatbag locker for the halo, upon its initial theft. He lands in the middle of a battle and looks around for the most mortally wounded by still living person who seems important, and stuffs it in her. He knew the halo would accept an injured host who had reason to live, and counted on her grateful loyalty.

What's interesting is that the halo and crown's color coding indicate that they do not come from Reya's realm, which is color coded blue. The tarasks have divinium bones and kill wraiths, so they aren't demons unless Reya's realm is 'hell'. Then there's Lilith, also color-coded orange, whom Adriel makes no attempt to strike down, but immediately attempts to seduce and placate. Because she is a threat to him. (I suspect Adriel was supposed to retrieve the halo for Reya, but made a bid to keep that power for himself, then unseat her, hence the need for the arc). The warrior nun essentially carries non-combat tech from both realms, re-purposed into weapons, symbolizing how humans have choice, etc.

Second, I don't think Ava's ever died. It's definitely framed that way, and I totally get the romantic, symbolic appeal of that, but I never even considered it while viewing.

We are given explicit info about the orphanage such as the care facilities being very low tech. No heart monitor, eeg, ekg, seemingly not even a basic pulsometer like when you get checked in at a doctor's office. We also see that Ava was unfazed by the nun administering an injection, suggesting this was at least a bit normal. {Whoops, forgot Ava explicitly states no need for pain meds). So I'm guessing she's among small percentage of individuals who have a natural resistance to opiods. She was still in a conscious, hallucinogenic state when the nun was declaring her dead.

Severe overdose symptoms include cold, clammy blue skin, significant respiratory depression, extremely weak pulse and coma. The pulse may be undetectable to physical touch, and all metabolic action is depressed. It's a bit like severe hypothermia, and death in opiod resistant individuals is gradual, if left untreated. In short, the person looks and feels dead. Ava further displays the lingering symptoms of overdose through the first couple of episodes, such as disorganized thinking, emotional instability, lack of coordination, reduced inhibition and, yes, vomiting. That nun had 'mercy' killed so many other kids that she got complacent.

While Ava's midair fall likely caused multiple fractures and internal bleeding, along with loss of consciousness, it wasn't instant death. There was no rapid blood loss which would have caused heart failure, and aside from a portion of separated cranium, her head was intact. It takes several minutes of oxygen starvation for the body to begin dying, and neural function to cease.

Real life medical response would have been to drain fluid buildup while restarting and stabilizing the heart, if necessary, and sealing off the brain from infection, then monitoring for brain trauma from the deceleration squish. It was a scary fall, and Beatrice flipped out, but Mary kicked Ava off a cliff in season one, down onto an uneven rocky surface. What struck me is that Beatrice might have helped power the halo.

(As an aside, if the halo is powered by faith energy, then the decimation of the O.C.S. and their belief in the warrior nun, would have been a huge energy loss for the halo. The only rapid solution would be for Ava to go public).

Anyway, on occasions when the halo temporary runs dry, Ava does not die. Instead, she reverts to a quadriplegic state, indicating that the halo was unable to repair an existing healed injury. So it is acting in a continual state, but as a disability aid, rather than keeping her alive. For her, the halo provides a neural bypass system... which we also saw in the wheelchairs ArcTech developed. Competing disability representation needs and all, but I appreciate that Ava was not miraculously healed.

In short, Ava wouldn't die if it was removed, but her intense desire to live, disability, high altruism and lack of violent/martyr conditioning, made her the ideal candidate. For a device that's not from Reya's realm.

[reneedenoailles]

introduction. 🦇

liz, 19 years old, bi, she/they ! currently obsessed with romance club. also a classic art, literature & history lover ! i'm also a writer !

i'd love to find romance club mutuals ! this is my main ! previously known as noaillesmurderess.

if we're mutuals, you can ask for my discord. <3

nsfw posts are tagged with not safe tag !

please block me if you don't support palestine !

Below the cut is a list of RC stories I've played ! I'll regularly update my progression on them.

Theodora.

Status: Completed twice.

Path: Romantic's Path first, thenCynic's.

Season One LI: Lawrence first, then John.

Season Two LI: Antonio, then Julian.

Season Three LI: Jamie, then John.

Arcanum.

Status: Completed, now replaying.

Path: Emperor's Path first, now High Priestess's Path.

LI: Single.

Love, Sin & Evil.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Darkness.

LI: Tony, then Wolf Vampire.

W: Time Catcher.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Moon Heiress.

LI: Lucien.

Shadows of Saintfour.

Status: Completed, as well as the Special Episode.

Path: Courage + Feeding the Demon.

LI: Stephanie.

Astrea's Broken Heart.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Skepticism.

LI: Undecided.

Vying for Versailles.

Status: On my ninth playthrough.

Path:

Calculation + Dark Spycraft. (Louis, Marriage ending.)

Altruism + Dark Spycraft. (Maria, Happy ending.)

Hedonism + Bright Influence. (Philippe, Marriage ending.)

Altruism + Bright Influence. (Bonne, Happy ending.)

Calculation + Bright Influence. (Louis, Execution ending.)

Calculation + Dark Spycraft. (Alexandre, Marriage ending.)

Hedonism & Calculation + Bright Influence. (Single/Catherine.)

Altruism & Calculation + Dark Spycraft. (Single, Good ending.)

Hedonism + Dark Spycraft. (Louis AND Philippe, Exile ending.)

Calculation + Bright Influence. (Maria, Happy ending.)

Calculation + Dark Spycraft. (Philippe, Non-Marriage ending.)

Calculation + Bright Influence. (Single/Armand.)

Song of the Crimson Nile.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Cunning + Necromancy.

LI: Amen.

Rage of the Titans.

Status: Completed.

Path: Divinity Path.

LI: Marshall/Hephaestus.

Wave Patrol.

Status: Completed.

Path: Daring.

LI: Charles.

The Desert Rose.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Rebellion + Desert Flower.

LI: Jack.

Gladiator Chronicles.

Status: Completed.

Path: Cruelty + Strength.

LI: Tori.

On Thin Ice.

Status: Completed.

Path: Light.

LI: Liz.

Psi.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Control + Vector.

LI: Kay.

Chasing You 2.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Logic.

LI: Rachel.

Heaven's Secret.

Status: Ongoing. (Season 2, Episode 5.)

Path: Demon.

LI: Lucifer.

Queen in 30 Days.

Status: Completed, Queen ending.

Path: Plot.

LI: Leonard.

Legend of the Willow.

Status: Just started. (Season 1, Episode 7.)

Path: Coldness + Amber Fox.

LI: Undecided.

Soulless.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Pride Path.

LI: Ava.

Kali: Call of Darkness.

Status: Completed, secret ending.

Path: Independence + Kindness of Goddess.

LI: Ratan.

Kali: Flame of Samsara.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Pride + Legacy.

LI: Saraswati.

The One.

Status: Completed Volume 1.

Path: Follow Smarts.

LI: Adira.

The One Volume 2.

Status: Waiting for Update.

Path: Villain.

LI: The Host.

[scripted-downfall]

One of the things that makes Sam's character arc so ironic is that the man's intense desire to be the Chosen One is at odds with his desire to be "good."

After all, the thing is: he is the Chosen One, exactly what he wants to be. (The original post that inspired this --- linked here --- detailed what I mean by this: half of his motivations are because he's certain that he's got some higher purpose for good no matter what signs there are to the contrary.) He takes issue with this fact only because he's the Chosen One for the wrong side, for Hell.

Honestly, for all he preaches that monsters aren't all bad and evil is a choice --- which I do believe are true statements, to be clear --- he only puts his money where his mouth is on that point when it's convenient for him. (Lenore? Madison? We have to give 'em another chance! Cas? Benny? Oh, come on, Dean, how dare you replace me with them!) Only rarely does he selflessly make the difficult choice to do the right thing.

Legitimately, all the things that Sam does wrong in the entire series are because of his choices (plus or minus some manipulations by external sources). I'm a Sam anti because of his choices. Problems arise because of his choices. (Please note: I'm not laying the blame for everything in the series at his feet. I'm not saying that all problems come from him. I'm saying that, more often than not, any problems that do stem from him have their roots in his choices. It's like squares and rectangles: not all of Sam's choices cause problems, but most of his problems stem from his choices.)

The demon powers are the primary example of this: those came from Hell, but they were not inherently bad. Andy used the powers with moderation and lived quite peacefully until Ava killed him; Jake probably would have been fine if he'd been left on his own and not had Azazel forcing him to develop the powers; etc. If Sam had just not used them --- or only used them in the earlier stages, without triggering the "switches that flip in your brain" --- nothing bad would have happened. But that would have meant that he wasn't given this higher calling. That would have taken away the pre-destined strength he felt he had every time he called post-Hell!Dean "weak." That would have meant that he had to ignore his powers. And because he didn't want to do that --- because he wanted that aggrandizing title --- Sam chose to a) disregard Dean's last wishes that he not use them, b) trust Ruby, and c) disregard the warnings of not just his brother, not just Ava/Jake, but also the entire host of Heaven that these powers were a bad thing.

This whole post was inspired by the tags of a reblog featuring a line about him "delusionally trying to believe he can for once be worth something good." And, while I take the point --- and am certainly not trying to be rude or anything on that front --- Sam is 100% capable of being something good.

The problem is that he's got these preconceived notion about what "good" is, and it's very rarely the actual right thing to do. In the earlier seasons, he trusts the Bible and automatically assumes angels are good. (Frankly, idk why; I tend to leave religion out of things, but it bears mentioning that "Old Testament" is more or less synonymous with violent wrath for a reason.) In s11, when he assumes that God is sending him visions, he automatically trusts that the content of the visions is "good" and "right" purely because it came from God and is "how things are meant to be"; once God actually shows up, he immediately starts fanboying over him even though I once again question that particular piece of wisdom. I'm fond of Chuck --- at least for now... I haven't seen past s12 yet, and I know s15 Chuck is... yeah. --- but his management in the SPN universe is... highly questionable even at that point.

The problem is: Being good (in the context of this show) doesn't fall in line with his belief that being good is predicated upon having some grandiose fate or magic powers, on being some op "I can kill you with my brain" savior. The show is written to make his storyline ironic, yes, because the seasons have "being good" as refusing use the magic powers (s4), resisting destiny (s5, s9, s15), staying true to the simplicity of normal hunting (s12), etc, and not embracing this, frankly, egocentric desire to be powerful.

Thus, I agree with the poster, and yet I feel that it's not an issue of him trying to prove that he can, for once, be something good; it's him trying to be good and fulfill his power-centric version of goodness. And it's because of this that I can't really find it heartbreaking. Because he's knowingly, consciously making poor choices in the name of power. In any other character, that'd be villain-coded, just saying.

And, of course, I fully admit that I don't like Sam. I don't like how he treats his brother. I don't like how he makes decisions. I don't like how he's favored by the writing, the plot, the finale, and even the characters. The writers, in essence, cast him as the main character, but his is not a story I've ever wanted to follow, all the way from episode one. I make no bones about the fact that I cannot identify with him, cannot justify many of his actions. But, while all this is true, I do think that I'm fair.

If anyone disagrees with any of this, I look forward to hearing polite, logical discourse. (If you cannot be pleasant while maintaining your passion, please DNI. I can go my way; you can go yours.)