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kyouka-supremacy · 3 months

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What are the things you like or appreciate about shin soukoku? /gen

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

I like sskk! I like everything about them. I feel like there's just so much to unpack about them, and there's no end to it!! After all this time I'm still finding out new possible dynamics and ways to interpret their relationship, it's so much fun. They're both very very complex characters, and their dynamics together are pretty awesome? There's the whole deal– I hate myself, so I have to hate you, because you're just like me. It's sooo cool. It's nice to see characters who hate themselves so much, but who also try to do better (Atsushi), try to be better (Akutagawa). They're both so so complex individually, and I simply adore what becomes of them when they come together. I think that when they're together, their individual characterization shines the brightest, because they're souls precisely created as parts of the same whole. And I've written about this forever ago, but I really like how their journey goes from hating each other to loving each other to loving themselves, I think it's a very nice concept to explore.

It's just a... Low-pressure ship in a lot of ways? It's something very very comforting to think about for me. As a ship, it constantly feels like saying “yeah, you do kind of suck. That doesn't mean you can't be loved.” It's just such a sweet sentiment for me!! It's not saying one shouldn't try to be better, but sometimes you do feel like you're utterly bad and unlovable, and there's no helping it; and sskk is there telling you “look. Here's two of the worst people on earth. One of them is unlovable by definition. And they still have in them to love, and to be loved.'” It's just :')

I genuinely love how both of them are kind of awful people. I mean, there's probably not a single thing about their moral code I agree with. But for some reason that makes them very compelling to explore? It's interesting to engage with characters that share worldviews so strikingly different from mine. Them having such fucked up ideals, so many flaws and selfish goals, makes them feel terribly human, and also makes them very sympathetic, in a way. They're a true mess, but one that reminds me so much of how sloppy and incoherent humans are like. Them being so distant from me greatly adds to their appeal tbh! Generally, I have a very strong moral code, and I try to do the right thing, while they're terribly selfish and self-survival driven. I'm mostly perceived as a woman, and they are two men with superpowers who fight and die for each other. I like reading about characters I can't see anything of myself in! I already have enough of myself irl lol.

Now that I think about it, I really really love how they don't mince words. Again, it's something personal, but I heavily dislike the habit of using euphemisms to sugarcoat reality. Sometimes things are unpleasant and ugly, and trying to deny it feels insulting more often than not. Sskk are always very direct, and never hesitated to tell what they think to the other's face, even if it comes at the cost of throwing insults; weirdly enough, it's something I appreciate. I think deep down, they appreciate it too.

The perspective of having someone who makes your true nature emerge is nice. Again, instead of mincing words and faking it, it's nice to imagine there's someone who could see them for who they really are, and loves them still. It's compelling to explore the true terror anyone would feel from being completely naked in front of someone else, but at the same time the sort of relief that comes with it? “This is the part of me I've always beaten up and suppressed and hidden. Look! Isn't that deeply disgusting? Yet that is nothing but the real me.”

The whole complementary-in-everything thing hits that specific part of my ocd brain that has me do stuff like organize my posts in a coherent string so that every post is connected to the previous, have every post posted at a round number timespan, count the pixels in every single picture I trim etc. Atsushi is mostly white in his design and Akutagawa is mostly black but the colors are reversed when they use their abilities combined. Atsushi is good and Akutagawa is evil. Tiger & dragon & cat & dog. Blue and red. government-affiliated job and mafia. Healthy and regenerating vs. sick and decaying. Loved & hated. Attractive and hideous. One loves reading and the other finds it unnerving, one knows how to cook and the other is a cooking disaster, one likes coffee and the other likes tea, early bird and night owl, so on and so forth. Then, the fact that when they come together they end up looking so deeply similar is kind of neat, it's like there's some sort of Hegelian synthesis in their love.

Their canon moments are truly great and exciting. I care relatively little about the amount of moments a ship has in canon– an interesting dynamic is an interesting dynamic no matter their screentime, right? And you're free to imagine what the characters interacting would be like in your head any time. And while I still like to believe their relationship would still be very compelling even without the moments they share, wow. Their canon screentime is crazy, it's outstanding. I think the depiction of their dynamics in canon is exceptionally good, and extremely well-written. The “the words of your past are fundamentally unrelated to who you are now”, the Atsushi wearing Rashomon, the “you damn fool // hurry up and go”, the “just the two of us?”– they're all such epic and sublime moments, every time they leave the reader gaping and bewildered and, frankly, wondering if that really happened. And their scenes are so consistently homoerotically charged!! From the “it's been reserved solely for you today” to the “the man-tiger's my main dish” to the “their eyes met. Akutagawa's lips moved, mouthing the words I found you” to the “once this is done, I'm going to teach you things other than ‘killing’ ” to the “as long as I can't deny your very being, I'll never be able to move forward” to the “don't touch me! Disgusting!” to the “I'm sorry”. From Akutagawa piercing Atsushi with Rashomon to kicking him to getting unnecessarily close to his face. From every second they've spent admiring each other to the way they call out each other's names with so much passion. The list goes on forever. And chapters 84-88 are short to a masterpiece. The characters' growth is madly well-executed, how we see them go through it almost step-by-step, and it's all so consistent, and it's all so human.

Finally, the picture that made me go “Ah! There's something about them!” for the first time. It's very dear to me :)

It's got Atsushi being cute and Akutagawa looking at him with a fairly undecipherable expression that yet is distinctively non-hostile, and this precise illustration made my brain go “Wow, what if Akutagawa actually had a soft spot for Atsushi. What if there was tenderness in his eyes.” Then it all went downhill from there ahah

#Then after seeing that picture I selected the tag beneath the post and grew increasingly frustrated on why I only kept finding–#C/huuya and D/azai posts (yes I had selected the wrong tag and searched for s/kk instead. I didn't know what the ship names were yet.)#sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #mine #people asks me stuff

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rykno-j · 4 months

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Stay? (B/SD)

Summary: basically c/huuya gets sick and d/azai takes care of him, very cliche

Ship: s/kk

Notes: my first b/sd fic. honestly i never intended to write one, but here we are. This fic was drafted Sept 21 2023 and wow that's been awhile huh.

They might be a little ooc here since i'm trying my hand at their characterisation for the first time. Apologies in advance for any mistakes!

also i figured ild add this in here but this fic is sickfic>snzfic so there isnt much of that kinda stuff here

Word count: 4.5k

------------------------------------------------

"Chuuya, rest."

The red markings on Chuuya's arm slowly disappeared as he fell to the floor in a soft grunt. Letting go of his arm down in an action of indifference, Dazai stepped over his sprawled out body.

"Took you long enough, honestly. It was almost like you were taking your own sweet time, don't want me to touch you that badly?"

When he was met with no response, Dazai sighed dramatically.

"Chibi? Oi, are you dead? You're not allowed to go before me, you know that. Oi!"

He turns back, this time with an eyebrow raised at the unmoving Chuuya-lump on the floor. Seriously? He would've expected the slug to reply with a "I'll kill you first" or a punch of sorts.

Chuuya was never quite as energetic after using Corruption, but this silence was new.

And so Dazai does the next most logical thing, which was to kick him with the edge of his shoe, once, twice, thrice- Alright, something was wrong.

Doing a quick check of his surroundings for any passersby (god forbid anyone from the Port Mafia or the ADA see what he was about to do next), Dazai knelt down next to Chuuya's body, flipping him onto his back.

"Oi Chibi!"

When he was met with no response, Dazai seriously considered leaving Chuuya in the middle of what used to be the battlefield. Surely someone would find him eventually, right?

It was how it always was, how it always has been.

Though.. there was no one in their vicinity at the moment, and it won't hurt to check Chuuya's vitals, to make sure the idiot didn't actually die on him.

Two fingers were swiftly placed under Chuuya's chin, and- Fever. Dazai was fairly sure that he felt fever under his fingers.

There was a steady heartbeat too, so that was good at least.

But a fever? Surely he was imagining it. Yes, Chuuya tended to run a little hot, both in his temperature and in his temper (although most of the time it was directed at Dazai himself), but there was no mistaking the heat that he was radiating.

This time, the pair of bandaged hands reached for Chuuya's shoulders, giving him a couple shakes, which proved successful as he heard the other below him let out a soft groan.

"..D'zai?"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Immediately knowing what Dazai was referring to, Chuuya furrowed his eyebrows into a frown. "Idiot, it's none of your concern. Just take me back home."

Dazai opened his mouth to complain, but stopped when he saw Chuuya's eyes slide back shut. Seriously? Seriously. It was not the first time Chuuya had made a similar request, and it would also not be the first time if Dazai just walked off into the distance, leaving him there alone.

Despite that, Dazai always made sure that Chuuya was okay before he abandoned the other. Did this count as 'okay'?

And so,

"You owe me one.." Dazai caved, reaching out to lift Chuuya onto his back. He considered for a second just grabbing Chuuya by his ankles, dragging him home that way. Admittedly, Dazai did almost do that, if not for the time limit they had before someone would eventually arrive at the scene.

So draped over his back it was. Chuuya's apartment wasn't far, he could make it.

Gathering the fallen coat and hat (regrettably, Dazai did indeed resign and picked it up), he disappeared behind the trees.

====================================

The journey back was eerily silent. Given the relationship between the two, it was a surprise. No bickering, no fighting, just the steady but heavy sound of footsteps coming from Dazai.

He could hear, could feel Chuuya breathing behind him, but worry still found its way into his head. Not that that was important or anything.

Dazai whined. "You're really heavy you know.."

(Talk to me, say something snarky back.)

Dazai attempted a weak insult. "Never been this high off the floor before huh? It's a whole new view from way up here."

(Open your eyes, please.)

He felt stupid talking to himself.

==================================

Chuuya's front door. He hasn't been here in a long while, and it definitely was not the first time he came uninvited. But this didn't count, did it? Chuuya had asked him to bring him home.

Key. Just focus on getting the door open.

Lowering himself to the ground, Dazai propped Chuuya's body up against the door. Now, where would Chibi put his key..

When both coat pockets came up empty, Dazai eyed Chuuya's unconscious body. Should he try searching for the keys on him?

Then, he remembered a moment they shared together, one where they had headed to Chuuya's place after a mission years ago, when Dazai was still in the Port Mafia.

They had gotten thrown around quite a bit that day, and as fun as it was, Chuuya's key seemed to have been shaken right out of his pocket. Exhausted, they had fallen asleep right by the steps leading up to the door, seemingly forgetting that Chuuya could have blasted through the window if he really wanted to.

Dazai dropped the coat on Chuuya's lap, turning to the pots of plants outside the house. Seriously? He was surprised the plants were even still alive.

As obvious at that spot would have been, Dazai found the key he was looking for under a pot of cacti. He unlocked the door, hauling Chuuya's body in with him.

The living room was a familiar sight. The couch was in the same position, and so was the dining table. It was as if all those years had never passed.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the floor.

So what now? Should he leave? Chuuya hadn't asked him to do anything else, not that he would have complied anyway.

..He would probably be much more comfortable lying on the couch. Yeah, he could do that.

Dazai looked at the body sprawled across the couch.

So what now? Why wasn't he moving to leave? Chuuya probably didn't want to open his eyes only for Dazai to be the first thing he sees.

..That thought alone almost made him sit down and wait for Chuuya to wake up.

However, a small whine dragged Dazai out of his scheming. When he looked down, there was a pained expression on Chuuya's face. Even in the dimmed lights, Dazai could partially make out the feverish flush on the other's cheeks.

..He could wet a towel for Chuuya. Yeah, he could do that.

And so Dazai stands up, making his way to bathroom. Just being in the room brought back a few memories. All the times that he would sit, propped up against the sink as they tended to each other's wounds after a mission.

Dazai pulls open one of the cupboards below the sink in search for a towel, and that's when he freezes.

All the way to the back of the compartment, there was a small stack of bandages, the same ones that Dazai liked to use. But why? Chuuya rarely got injured, and if he did, like heck he was using those bandages. Knowing him, Chuuya would probably just walk it off.

Maybe he just didn't want to throw away the leftovers. Yeah, that was it.

He found a towel after that. Wetting and wringing it, Dazai stepped back into the living room. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Chuuya's open bedroom door.

A peek inside would never hurt, right?

Making a slight detour, Dazai popped his head into the doorway. Surprisingly (or maybe not), everything looked pretty much the same. The bed was still haphazardly made in a sort of neat, Chuuya way.

A stray hat sat in the center of his desk. Dazai couldn't contain his eye roll.

He approached the table, his eye catching onto a dull shine of metal. It was a tablet tray of pills. He flipped it over. Paracetamol. And it was half empty.

So the fever wasn't a recent thing.

===================================

He hoped the wet towel would help.

Chuuya never fell sick often, and when he did, he was rather augmentative and closed off. To Dazai, that was Chuuya just being Chuuya, so he never treated the other differently in those moments, not that they happened often enough for him to act any other way.

So this was new. It wasn't an unpleasant type of new, just a little awkward. It was never quiet when Chuuya was around, unless they were sleeping, and Dazai was wide awake.

Maybe he should busy himself with cooking something. Cook. For Chuuya.

..What where they? Married? Dazai felt his tongue stick out at the thought. But still, he got up and headed for the kitchen.

Maybe he should try poisoning Chuuya's portion. That would be fun to watch. Unfortunately, he didn't have any vials on him at the moment.

Even better, he could pretend that he did something to the food.

That thought alone gave Dazai the motivation to look through the fridge. In the main compartment, all he found was alcohol. The second eye roll of the day ghosted his face. Chuuya was a lightweight after all.

Moving to the vegetables drawer, he was pleasantly surprised to see it filled. He never took Chuuya as someone who knew how to cook. Dazai himself normally ate at the cafe downstairs with the rest of the agency.

Though.. on the off-chance that someone would cook for the whole office, those meals always felt a little more homey.

Picking a variety of vegetables, Dazai turned towards the kitchen, sliding the door shut behind him.

========================================

It was at that moment that Chuuya decided to wake up. He knew he was at home, on his couch? What happened?

Fuck. His head hurt. His limbs hurt. There was something pressing his head down. Lifting a heavy arm, Chuuya reached for the item on his forehead.

A damp cloth?

That idiot Dazai probably put it there. Sleeping gas? It made sense, since he was knocked out for so long..

Or at least it felt long; with how sore his neck was feeling from lying flat on his back. Couldn't the bandaged disaster at least be considerate enough to put a pillow under his head?

..Come to think of it, Dazai did carry him home, which was a far cry from what he normally did to begin with. Whatever, he'd let it slide.

"..snff-"

"..hH'!! hAH'gGnshH-w!! G'nNEsHH!!"

So that's what he would have to deal with for a few days, huh. He had really thought it had been nothing more than a slight fever.

Maybe using Corruption had made it worse.

"..hiH'!! hH- hhH'!! h'ERrshH!"

When he sniffled into the back of his palm, Chuuya found that he could hardly get any air through. This sucked.

A shower might help.

=====================================

In the closed kitchen, Dazai barely heard Chuuya's movements as he reached for a knife. Staring at it, he pondered for a moment if he should just-

No. Chuuya would kill him if the white counter was stained with his blood. It would give the shorty a good scare, but his fun could wait.

While it wasn't his first time chopping vegetables, it certainly had been awhile. Still, the carrrots, potatoes and corn were all sliced up in minutes. He didn't brag about his dexterous fingers for nothing.

And if the knife came too close to his fingers too many times, no it didn't.

Throwing all the ingredients into the simmering pot, Dazai poured in some chicken stock. He didn't know how much was the recommended amount, so half the carton would have to do.

Besides, there was no way he'd even look at the instructions behind. He was already cooking for the chibi, he didn't want to have to read for him too.

Dazai stared at the stove.

..What now?

---

The moment Chuuya stripped off his clothes, he had to grab the edge of the sink as he was hit by a dizzy spell. Fair, he did get up from the couch rather abruptly. He hadn't eaten since the morning either.

He was shivering, despite the buckets of sweat he produced in the recent battle.

Chuuya hated falling sick, hated the weakness and vulnerability that came with it. He was supposed to be the one who people depended on. How could he protect anyone when he could barely even stand straight?

Without his strength there was little use for him.

"..hH'!! H'gKsHHew! heH'DzzchH!!"

And there was that too.. but at least this part of his forming cold proved that he was human. The inability of controlling his sneezes.

In any case, he should get into the shower quickly before his thoughts got the better of him.

Scalding hot water.

==================================

Surely the pot should not be boiling that heavily. Dazai stared at it, wondering how the surface would feel under his fingers should he touch it. The fleeting thought brought a smile to his face.

A rather rough bunch of bubbles almost caused the lid to fly off entirely. He should probably turn the fire down.

A gentle, warm aroma slowly filled the kitchen. Dazai estimated that it would be ready in a couple tens of minutes.

Perfect, he could use that time to-

The kitchen door slides open.

..To check on-

"Chuuya?"

The couch was empty. Did someone break into the house to steal him? Dazai didn't remember locking the door. Chuuya was really compact and pocket-sized too, but who would want to kidnap that feisty thing?

So of course, he deduced that Chuuya probably moved himself somewhere else.

"Chibi?"

Dazai stepped into the hallway, his gaze casting down upon the trail of water leading from the bathroom to is bedroom.

Seriously, did Chuuya not know that towels exist? Someone could slip and fall and die here! Someone like Dazai himself!

Playing with the possibility of such a humorous death, Dazai followed the trail to the room, poking his head into the doorway for the second time that day.

With the ends of his feet barely touching the edge of the bed, Chuuya laid in the center, neck tilted back on the pillow, snoring softly.

It was a familiar sight, Dazai noticed himself staring. The bed was once big enough for the two of them.

Not now, of course, Dazai muses. Even if Chuuya hadn't grown an inch, he sure did. There was no way they'd fit on the mattress together now.

..Not that he wanted to or anything. No, definitely not.

Chuuya's hair was still damp, and there was a strained expression on his sleeping face. Moving by himself, Dazai reached for the neatly folded blanket by the foot of the bed.

=====================================

1hr later:

Chuuya woke with the edge of his blanket pressed under his nose. He didn't remember pulling it up. After he took a shower, his body was too exhausted to do anything but collapse facedown into the pillows

Or.. maybe he had done that. Chuuya lived alone, there was no way someone else had done it instead.

"..hIH'NgtxchhH!! haH'gtcHH-w!" That being said, it was still way too cold even with the blanket covering him.

He rubbed the back of his fist against his nose roughly before tossing around in bed, annoyed.

Everything felt too stuffy, too hot. He was hungry too. Maybe some takeout would be good for today.

Chuuya stretched out a tired hand, groping around for his phone. Finding nothing, he sighed, faintly remembering that his coat was still outside on the floor somewhere.

"..hih'hA-Ngxt!!"

Guess he won't be getting any food today, then. Chuuya prided himself as a strong, capable man, but when it came down to times like these, he was willing to be weak.

As long as he was alone.

=======================================

Dazai looks up towards the bedroom, eyes flickering between the television screen and the hallway.

Despite himself, he was still at Chuuya's apartment, nevermind that an entire hour has passed.

Instead of wandering around, Dazai chooses to set up the gaming station below the television. He and Chuuya used to go on at it for hours against each other.

"Take this!"

"Not so fast, Chuuya. You think you can beat me that easily??"

There was a layer of dust sitting on top of console, showing obvious signs of disuse. His old controller was laid against it next to Chuuya's, the plastic worn down and peeling.

Lost in his daydream, Dazai barely manages to catch the smell of ready-soup coming from the kitchen. Now to get a couple bowls.

Transferring the soup into them should have been an easy task, if Dazai had remembered that heat existed. Well, excuse him for trying to pick up the pot with his bare hands and pouring it into the bowl, it's not like he cooked on a regular basis, or knew that there was a special spoon for such occasions known as the ladle.

Whatever the case, it took all but a few minutes to find a tray, put the bowls on it, and walk out of the kitchen.

==================================

Maybe he should have sucked it up and went to get his phone, Chuuya thinks and he stares at the ceiling. His stomach was screaming at him to fill it up with something, anything.

He stares at the stain next to the lightbulb and scowls. Years ago, the bulb and blown a fuse and needed repairing. But like hell Chuuya was going to put the stepladder on his bed, even if he was too short to reach it otherwise.

Thankfully, Dazai had shown up like a Saint at the time and fixed it for him, not without leaving his mark, of course. Like a damn animal he marked the ceiling with a dusty handprint that Chuuya could never clean off.

His fever must be off the charts if its enough to make him recall anything that had to do with his ex-partner. If Chuuya had had the strength at that moment, he would've slapped himself silly. That being said, he could probably wrap a damp cloth around the end of a long pole and bring it up to the stain to-

"ChUuYA!!"

"oH FUCK!"

Jumping out of his skin high enough that maybe he didn't need that pole after all, Chuuya sits up in his bed. His pillow, the blanket, the chair, his hat, everything glowed red and was ready to be used as a weapon.

"DAZAI, WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"Aw Chuuyaa~ That's the kind of greeting I get even when I'm trying to do something nice? You're lucky I'm touching this tray, or it might've went up with all the other things and split all my hard work!!"

"Never mind the fucking tray! What are you doing here?"

Dazai opens his mouth, a tone of mockery already ready at the tip of his tongue, yet nothing came out. Chuuya was right, what was he doing here? How would he explain why he was carrying soup to Chuuya in bed without the other thinking he had lost his mind?

Come to think of it, he didn't even know himself why he was doing this.

Chuuya stares at the Dazai in his room. Seriously, what was he thinking? Coming over uninvited like that, especially knowing the state he was in right now. There was no way this was a planned move to take him out at his weakest. As shitty as Dazai was, Chuuya knew at the back of his mind that the other would never harm him intentionally without the confidence that he won't die from it.

So that only left one explanation, one that Chuuya refused to even entertain - that Dazai was actually trying to take care of him. He almost laughs at the thought.

And he might've, if this was another day in which he wasn't hazed in fever. Plus the silence was getting awkward, so Chuuya forced himself to say something.

"..I'm not interested in your answer anyway. So are you coming in or not? You're being an eyesore just standing in the middle of my room."

"A tall eyesore?" Dazai chirped back, his behavior instantly returning to normal once he was in his element, (that being in a state in which he endlessly makes fun of Chuuya).

"Yeah yeah, a tall eyesore that he trying to poison me. Is this the Agency's masterplan after all? Poison?"

"Me?!" Dazai dramatically puts his hand on his forehead. "Poisoning you?? Before I use the poison on myself to end my own miserable life? Oh ChuUya, you should know me better than that!"

"Whatever. Just give it to me." Chuuya rolls his eyes, snatching a bowl over and eyeing it suspiciously. "You went through all the trouble of buying takeout?"

"Of course not! Why would I ever do so much for a slug like you?"

"So then you cooked for me." It was phrased more like a statement than a question, and for the second time that night, Dazai didn't know what to say.

"The uh- the knife. It looked tempting."

"Uh-huh. Bet it sure was difficult to keep all 10 of your fingers intact."

"You know me so well!"

"..Right." With the conversation not going any further, Chuuya picks up the spoon, stirring the liquid gently. It smelt good, and the steam coming from the bowl really helped to loosen up the congestion in his nose.

Which was good, but also bad timing, as Chuuya was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to sneeze. Hitching ever so slightly, he turns to face the wall, using his skill to control the gravity of the mucus such that it wouldn't irritate his nose even more as it threatened to drip out.

The last thing he wanted was to give Dazai something else to make fun of him for.

It was silent for a moment as Chuuya lifts the spoon to his lips.

"..."

"What?"

"..."

"I swear I did not poison the soup."

"No- it's not that. The soup.. it tastes.. good."

Dazai stares at Chuuya as if he'd grown an extra head. "..Chibi's lying!"

"I'm not, you idiot. Sigh, why do I even try?"

Before Chuuya could even shake his head in exasperation, a flash of brown jumps his soup.

"What are you doi-!?"

Dazai grabs onto Chuuya's arm, somehow managing to miraculously not spill a drop as he grabs onto the spoon to try a sip.

This is bad. Bells rang in Chuuya's head as he felt his skill get nullified by Dazai's.

"M-hH!!" Move! He wanted to scream, would have, if the tickle in his nose wasn't this extreme.

Well, the suicide maniac asked for it anyway.

"Hh'! HNNgxt! ..hA'DzzchH!!" Chuuya gasps, pressing a wrist tightly against his nose. "hIH' gZZtchH!!"

"Chuuya is so rough with himself!"

"Don't talk like you're not the one who c'hh!-caused this!"

"Really," Dazai started, brushing a bit of his arm that had been in the crossfire of the spray upon his pants. "If anything Chibi's the one who caused this onto himself."

"Hah? The fuck did you say?"

"Now now-" Dazai places his index finger directly between Chuuya's furrowed eyebrows. "I'm not the one who decided to use corruption through a fever and then pass out in front of everyone."

Chuuya clenches his teeth, swatting the other's arm away. "Don't talk like you don't make shitty decisions all the time, suicide-obsessed mackerel."

"Slug."

"Why do you even care anyway?!" the porcelain bowl cracks under his grip. "You never had before so don't act like you do now."

Dazai opened his mouth to answer with a witty remark, but nothing came out. This outburst was different from the rest that Chuuya normally gave him. Insults, he could handle, but this? What was he supposed to say to that?

'Yeah I don't care about you?' 'No I do care about you?' One was a lie and one made him sound like a bottom.

Chuuya just stared at the bowl in his hand, watching as the soup drip, drip, dripped down his forearm. He knows what he said wasn't true, the fact that Dazai stayed was evidence enough.

Fucking fever, always making him say the wrong sh-

"I'm sorry."

The fuck? Chuuya snaps his head upwards, looking at Dazai from between the strands of hair that had fallen over his face. He scanned the other's expression, expecting something akin to a smirk. But there was none.

"I mean- Well! I'll leave Chibi to his tacky hats then." Dazai suddenly says, his voice lively yet strained. He reaches for the stray hat on the table, putting upon Chuuya's head and pulling the brim over his eyes.

Annoyed, Chuuya whips the damn thing off his head, prepared to shove it into Dazai's chest. But by the time he looks back at the other, all that could be seen was the tips of Dazai's coat-tails rounding out of his bedroom door.

"Hey wai-" Tears shot to Chuuya's eyes as he choked on air. With one leg on the floor and the other still nestled under the covers, he bent over coughing violently as his lungs struggled to comprehend what the fuck just happened.

His throat was burning. There was no way he could catch up to Dazai now.

After what seemed like forever, Chuuya's lungs finally decided to restart, allowing him to breathe in his first huge breath of air. Through blurry eyes, he barely managed to focus on the mess of beige in front of him.

"Chibi's so small he choked on air molecules?"

"Ah fuck you," Chuuya mumbled. He grabbed the glass of water Dazai held out for him, purposely avoiding eye-contact to prevent the other from noticing his shock and gratitude.

"You're welcome~ aand, you should probably put that down," referring to the bowl of soup that was barely holding itself together.

'Right." Chuuya placed it upon the tray. "Well," this was awkward. Just 2 minutes ago they were at each other's throats, and now they were.. staring at the ground in silence. "..I should, wash these. Plus you probably wrecked the kitchen, so I'll- yeah."

"Chuuya- are you sure you should-" Dazai started, then stopped.

Curse being partners for years, Chuuya knew what he meant even before he started. "It's just a cold, idiot. I'll be fine washing dishes. Stop cari- ahem. You look like shit, go shower or something."

When he got no reply, Chuuya continued. "There's bandages below the sink you can use, and- well. There's a set of clothes your size somewhere in my cupboard."

And this, snaps Dazai out of his silent trance. "So ChuuUya was planning a sleepover behind my back?"

"It was for emergencies, dammit! If you ever needed somewhere safe to stay, or something." Leaving it as that, Chuuya briskly walks out of the room, leaving Dazai to his own thoughts.

The bandages, Dazai later notices, were manufactured a mere 2 years ago, right when he had joined the Detective Agency, back when Chuuya had no way of knowing if he was alive or not.

But he still thought about me. Still bought them with a chance that I would use them someday.

"You even got my favourite brand, Chibi."

Staring at the "ON SALE!!" sticker on the back of the box, Dazai breaks into a soft smile.

Maybe, if Chuuya would allow him, he'd stay the night.

-end-

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ugh that ending felt so rushed but honestly i feel like it fits them, since i think that initally, caretaking would be really awkward for them.

Notes: thank you so much for reading, and i hope its alright that i branch out of j/jk since, well, everyones fucking dead (/j) but moreso because i fell in love with characters from other fandoms too <3

#b/sd #d/azai #c/huuya #snz #i feel like i lost touch with their personalities towards the end #forgive me/ its been *awhile* since i touched anything b/sd related #i /really/ did start this fic late 2023 you see #was really struggling towards the end part with the dialogue #because the nature between these two.. well.. ugh/#so much pretense #but i reeeally wanted to get this fic out asap bc i have another one (not b/sd) planned and it was also it was rotting in my drafts haha

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mikikunchik · 1 year

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All Dazai's sneezes that I managed to find (manga, CD dramas, anime wan) if you know any other sneezes from Dazai, let me know, I will be very glad, thank you and attention, have a nice day everyone✨

Links to cd dramas and wan ~~

youtube

#bsd #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #snz #D/azai #Dazaisneeze #Youtube

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heartless-curr · 2 days

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i need to be more abnormal about dazai tbh. dazai loves the people around him so fucking much (yes, this includes ryuunosuke. you can love someone yet mistreat them) love is such a foundational part of his character that it makes me fucking sick his entire character rn at the age of 22 is fueled by his love for others. he literally changed the course of his entire life because he loved his best friend.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #if you tag this as fucking o//azai i'm fucking blocking you.

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mycigarsweet · 2 months

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strawpage stuff wahaha

#d4dj #d4dj groovy mix #dalia matsuyama #marika mizushima #tsubaki aoyagi #towa hanamaki #noa fukushima #date chan #eimi azai #my art

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wanderstarr · 1 year

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𝐀 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐏𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐭'𝐬 𝐀𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐬 : 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

wanderer x gn! reader ; no use of y/n ; 5+1 things format ; mostly fluff and humour

DISCLAIMER: i have never written an academic thesis before, but oh well.

brief cw for a scene where reader and wanderer beat up a drunk man :) also, it's implied that wanderer once had a past baby crush on niwa :]

[[ ao3 || next ]]

It started with aggravated assault. You know, as most love stories do. In the Wanderer's defence, he didn't instigate it on purpose, for once. Not that Buer would accept the excuse should he tell her such, but it's about the principle of the thing, after all.

It was a regular day in Sumeru, bustling with merchants and travellers alike. Buer had sent him to fetch her Candied Ajilenakh Nuts from the Puspa Cafe. Well, in truth she had just mentioned in passing that she was running low on her favourite snack, but it's practically the same thing, if you asked the Wanderer. He would have ended up making the trip either way. So really, it was a perfectly reasonable excuse if he was acting just a bit more irritable that day, thank you very much.

The room smelled of charcoal and a warm sugary scent, assaulting his nose the moment he stepped foot inside the cafe. He never was a fan of sweets. His footsteps fell soft against the carpet floors, the sound drowned out by the gushing water fountain and the chatter of customers. The message board was chock full of nonsensical scribbles and adverts as per usual, papers fluttering gently, held in place by their push pins.

As he stands in line to wait for his turn, he vaguely notes down the other patrons; most he did not recognise, but some did frequent the establishment enough for him to know them by name. There was Nayab, the laidback matra with an odd fixation on card game strategies. Iris, the sharp scholar who seemed intent on studying all things King Deshret. Izem, the weathered old man who took his coffee bitter, who was awkward in the prospect of a peaceful life. Of course, he only knew as much about these strangers thanks to the chatty nature of Sumeru locals, and his numerous errand runs involving Buer's sweet tooth.

When he finally reaches the counter, an unfamiliar face greets him instead of the acting manager. Come to think of it, he can't seem to spot Gata either. The new cashier, you, beamed politely at him.

"Good morning, what can I get for you?"

"Candied Ajilenakh Nuts." He drops a hefty pouch of mora on the register.

You carefully tilt open the bag, counting the amount he'd given, and your eyes go wide at the sight. "That much?"

He nods. A spark of recognition flashes in your expression.

"Ah!" you snap your fingers, "Enteka mentioned you might pop up. Candied Ajilenakh Nuts, coming right up!"

Just what has the acting manager been telling her employees? Well, it wasn't his business to know, and you seemed decently competent at your job. So long as he got the stupid nuts.

He was watching you work while he waited, when the doors of the cafe burst open.

"Eyyya..enteka!" A man stumbles in, face flushed in a sickly hue. His words slurred together into an incomprehensible mess. Great, a fucking drunkard.

He hears you mutter quietly under your breath. "Fucking drunkard."

Huh. Good to know someone shared the sentiment.

"Entekaaaarghfh.. whereryou.." The man wobbles up to the register. The other customers pinched their nose as he passed by; he reeked of cheap alcohol and dry vomit.

The Wanderer watched the drunk man wag a finger accusingly in your face.

"Yergh.. You're not Een..theyka!"

"Unfortunate for you, no. You must be the nuisance from last night." you smile tightly. The Wanderer sees murder in your eyes. The drunk man, however, remained oblivious as ever.

"Where.. where's she..?" the man swayed back and forth, craning his neck as if looking for the woman.

"That's none of your business." you stare him down. "I'm afraid I must ask you to leave, sir."

And of course, because demanding drunk bastards are rarely ever cooperative by nature, the man slams a fist rather pathetically and starts to yell. Nonsense about being lied to, about being led on and calling Enteka all manners of names that weren't appropriate for a family friendly cafe.

The Wanderer briefly considers intervening, but then you were all but leaping over the counter like a rabid dog, punting the man backwards with a heavy thwack. He, and everyone else in the cafe, stands frozen momentarily, bewildered by your sudden 180 from picture perfect employee to.. this.

"What the fuck?!" the man speaks clearer, sobered from the unexpected blow.

"That's for harassing my friend."

"I'll – hic – I'll fucken' report you!"

"Go for it then, coward." you scoff, and point towards the door. "Go on, leave. Make your report."

The man shuffles his feet, indignant, and you turn your back to return behind the register, but then the asshole goes for a foul ambush, and the Wanderer watches you turning a split second too late, and–

He yanks the man back by his neck, hand closed tight. Anemo energy rushes to his fingertips in warning. The drunkard writhes in his grasp.

"Some of us have important things to be doing." he hisses, and lets the man drop to the floor. "Stop. You're an embarrassment to yourself."

You have your mouth agape, eyes blown wide from the attempted attack, but you snap out of it quick. As the man struggles to stand properly, you're already fisting the collar of his shirt, dragging him to the exit yourself.

The man bellows in a last ditch attempt at retaliation. "Is this how you treat your patrons?!"

"Oh, I don't actually work here!" you reply cheerily, glaring daggers at the manchild. "In no way do my actions reflect on the service quality of Puspa Cafe™!"

What.

"What??"

"Bye now, you're banned by the way!" you chuck the man out onto the streets. An eremite from the corps of thirty seemed to appear from thin air, striding over to apprehend the man. You call out to the mercenary. "Thanks Rima!"

She nods back. "Nothing escapes my eyes."

You grin and shut the doors, turning to face the people in the room. "Sorry for the disturbance everyone, as you were!"

The customers relaxed, simmering back into their hushed chatter and quiet laughs. Whether they were grateful for your intervention or simply paralysed with bafflement, the Wanderer wasn't quite sure himself. You head back towards the counter, but pause in front of him.

"Thanks. For earlier." You dig the heel of your shoe into the carpet, somewhat sheepish. He catches the glint of a vision hanging delicately against your waist. He wonders briefly why you didn't use it earlier.

He huffs, looking away. "I just wanted the damn snack."

"Oh, right!" you gasp softly, snapping your fingers. "Oh archons I'm so sorry I'll get them right away."

True to your word, he has a large paper bag stuffed full of Candied Ajilenakh Nuts shoved into his hands within seconds. It smelled disgustingly sweet, just how Buer liked it.

"Thought you didn't work here." he comments.

"That's true, I don't!" you smile, and refuse to elaborate further. Not that he needed much explanation, he's guessed most of the story from your altercation with that drunkard. He supposes the acting manager would return to her work soon now.

He leaves, and thinks that would be the last he'd ever see of you. And if Buer commented on his distant expression when he returned, then he's liable to the right to remain silent.

He's proven wrong that same evening, when he finds you lingering in front of the Sanctuary of Surasthana.

"You." he deadpans, because he can't quite think of anything else to say.

"Me." you beam, much more genuinely than the first time you smiled at him. You're carrying a large container in your hands. "Good to know I'm not forgettable after all."

"Hard to be with the stunt you pulled." he shakes his head. "What do you want?"

"Yeesh, Enteka wasn't kidding, you're a real grump. Here." you gesture to the box you were holding. "Figured I owed a proper thank you."

He looks at the thing warily. "You're not trying to poison Lesser Lord Kusanali through me, are you?"

You laugh. "Oh yeah. Totally, I'm attempting to harm an archon and her aide via homemade Havalmadz."

He raises a brow. "Considering it's Lesser Lord Kusanali's favourite dish, it's plausible, you know. That's just more suspicious, idiot."

"Wait, really?" you squawk, looking genuinely flustered. "I assumed.. shit, I thought the Haval addict here was you."

You started to ramble your apologies. As amusing as it was, he wasn't that much of a sadist as people would believe. He sighs and takes the gift from your hands.

"Wait–wait, you actually want that?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Buer would certainly want it. He didn't indulge in eating as much, but you didn't need to know that. "...thanks too, I guess."

You blink once, twice, and your lips spit into a blinding grin, eyes crinkled in joy. The Wanderer feels his grip falter momentarily at the sight.

"See you around then!"

You leave, and he's left with ringing ears and a flutter in his chest and oh fuck no he was not going to go through this again. He blasts himself in the face with anemo, leaving his hair swept back and his hat skewered wrong. Snap out of it.

He wasn't dumb. He's felt this ridiculous emotion before, back when Niwa would hold their hands together in unfamiliar places, back when Niwa taught him in his gentle voice, back when..

Back when Niwa was alive.

He didn't know what it meant, back then. The feeling. Not that it made any difference, he was over it now, and all he can do is make peace with his loss. The loss of a companion dear to him, one of many.

Such was his curse, to lose the things he loved infinitely, watching them succumb to their mortality over and over through time. Such was his burden as an immortal puppet.

He clutches the Havalmadz in his arms. He's got Buer now, he supposes. A wise and intelligent conversational partner, an archon whom he was proud to assist, frivolous errands aside. He had his papers, his accidental academic career in the Vahumana Darshan. He had his awkward somewhat acquaintanceships with those people from the Interdarshan Championship, crazy event that it was.

Realistically, it was enough to fulfill him. He had no need for unexpected variables. He had plenty of things for himself now, plenty of theses to write.

In fact, he thinks as he retreats into the sanctuary, he'll write a thesis on exactly why he shouldn't involve himself any further with you, comprising the points he'd spontaneously thought of and will continue to think of. An antithesis, if you will (Archons, he should stop hanging around that Mahamatra). He'd like to think he was a man of reason, after everything he's been through.

Buer greets him from the centre of the room, her favourite spot to ponder.

"Hello, Hat Guy. You look like you had fun." She smiles serenely, though her eyes sparkle with delight.

He's stopped trying to get Buer to call him anything else at this point. He ignores the comment, and instead holds out the Havalmadz.

"Someone sent this for you." he says simply, but he knew Buer could read between the lines. He's heard that parents often have an instinct for that–not that he sees her as a parent or anything. She thanks him happily, and doesn't point anything out, to his relief.

He'll surely get over his fascination with you soon.

to be cross posted on ao3! later bc its like 1 am rn and im tjred. i'll probably need to edit this later. this got too long to be a oneshot, but it's much shorter than what i have planned for the android scara fic. just a little something to get me out of writer's block, bc i love describing fantasy settings hehe. still working out how to make aesthetic tumblr fic posts,, enjoy!

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