#back when there was no fandom presence on the hellsite

[basilone]

I was tagged by @onehelluvamarine, ty! 💚

A band you don’t like that many others do:

Coldplay. I am absolutely mesmerized by how popular they are, because every single song of theirs I’ve ever heard gets on my last nerve.

A childhood memory that you remember vividly:

I used to do ballet and got to perform in a huge theatre once. I remember hanging out backstage, watching the older dancers, getting to see what the lighting crew was doing… It was a brilliant time, though the hassle to get hair and make-up done had a lot of people yelling and losing the plot. (I learned how to do stage make-up myself when I was a lil older, partially because that’s how you roll in drama classes but also because of that experience hahaha!)

Least favorite animal and why:

Listen. Listen to me. We do not need lightbulb fish. We do not need them. We do not require their presence in our waters.

Hot fandom take:

Do you know how many hot takes can fit in me? It’s a lot. I’m going to go with two hot takes because it’s my party and y’all have never ever seen me post one to this blog before.

Numero uno: readerfic is not OC fic, OC fic is not readerfic. If you name your character, it’s an OC. Even if you write them in first or second person POV. If you write Y/N, it’s readerfic no matter how much backstory you try to chuck at it. Learn to tag it properly. A fic cannot have both the canon character/OC and canon character/reader tags. Please do my last remaining pieces of sanity a favor and don’t make me read Y/N with my own two eyeballs just because you mistagged your fic.

Numero two: smut belongs under the cut. I don’t make the rules. If you start your fic with smut of any kind, put it under a readmore. Especially do this if that smut contains highly specific kinks. Aside from the fact that there are minors on this website who’ve got no business being subjected to that, people should be given the choice whether they want to see that level of smut on their daily newspaper dashboard scrollthrough first thing in the morning.

Do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

I do, though not all the time. One of my fave pieces is a small ring with an eight-pointed star that I wear on my pinky finger.

A movie others liked but you didn’t:

Titanic. I know it’s got many many many fans, but I was cheering that iceberg on.

Three things you love about yourself:

My creativity, my ability to switch gears and learn on the fly, and my hair that does whatever I want it to do.

A place you hope to visit in the future and why:

Dude, have you seen the state of the world lately? I think I’m just gonna hope to visit my bed later on today, much safer.

An actor that gets on your nerves and why:

I have Tom Cruise blacklisted on this hellsite for good reason. The good reason being that I think he’s batshit and that people should stop entertaining his presence in anything. I’m not drinking that cult juice, thanks.

Things you’re excited for in the nearby future?

My birthday’s coming up on Feb 9!

Least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

At the risk of getting utterly disowned by a good number of folks that follow me: Webgott. I have gone for an outing or two in this ship, if memory serves me correctly, and I think I understand why people like it. I love banter in a ship as much as the next person, and the push-pull of opposites can be fun. But I also think Lieb deserves a lot more than someone who’s fundamentally at odds with his life and his POV. I think that the discussion they have in that final ep is indicative of something so major that it is a dealbreaker in that ship. (Plus, Web is just… not my fave character. Putting this mildly.)

What’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?

Vikings. Hands down, no contest. Absolute toxic cesspool of lies, backstabbing, and badmouthing. There are a few very good reasons why I’m no longer on speaking terms with people I used to call friends (at least one of whom was also in our lovely little war fandom back in the day) and why I’ve all but given up on doing any new gifsets or writing in that fandom for the foreseeable future.

List three things you find beautiful about life:

I’m gonna all caps this like a particularly obnoxious internet citizen because !! important !!

HAVE YOU SEEN OUR UNIVERSE DO YOU HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT THE STARS

MUSIC

THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU’RE LAUGHING WITH PEOPLE YOU LOVE AND YOU REALIZE THERE’S NOWHERE IN THE WORLD YOU’D RATHER BE THAN IN THAT EXACT MOMENT

Any dreams for the future?

I just want to live a life that’s good. I don’t really do future plans or dreams, it’s all vibes. I will know the move I need to make in the moment it needs making. Everything else is confetti.

How are you really feeling today?

Tired! (She says while about to embark on a screencap-to-gif journey. You might note the tiredness by the fact that I have completely lost my filter somewhere down the line of answering these questions, lol.)

Tags:

lmao I feel like half this fandom got tagged already and I’m very shit at remembering usernames and who likes tagging games sooooo. uhm. ain’t tagging anybody today.

[velvet-midnight]

Get to know the blogger

Tagged by @fivekoboldsinacoat 

Share your wallpaper:

I finally started playing Skyrim this year (I just left the Greybeards after learning how to use my first Shout, that’s only as far as I am) and was genuinely struck by how gorgeous it is.  

Last song you listened to: Time - Jungle

Currently reading: Got stuck in both The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate and Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Sometimes I get stuck in books and have to switch to other primary activities, but I always loop back around after my brain gets unstuck to devour them whole, so I’m on track to getting back to them shortly. 

Last movie: Renfield! Please go see it, it is delightful and insane and Nicolas Cage is clearly having the absolute time of his life.

Last show: Taking my time to savor working through TLOU. Stunning. Just finished Left Behind and, of course, cried my eyes out. 

Craving: This iced coffee concoction is not as good as this one cafe’s version but I do not want to go outside and spend the money currently, so it will have to do. 

What are you wearing right now: Black leggings, Fleetwood Mac band tee. 

How tall are you: 5'5″-ish

Piercings: One in my right ear, four in my left. Started the piercing process with even amounts, but needed to let the second right hole close up and decided I liked the asymmetry. I looked real cool when I had my left sidecut, but alas, I have had to keep my hair fairly even/neutral for professional reasons.  

Tattoos: None, but contemplating one

Glasses? Contacts? Glasses since I was five (and currently on my face), contacts since I was 16 and most days because I am vain. 

Last drink: Water because this iced coffee situation is not vibing. 

Last thing you ate: A modified version of something my partner calls a Hot Mess. He and I make it differently, so mine goes: shredded potatoes, sausage crumbles, eggs scrambled into it and topped with cheese at the end to get melty. 

Favorite color: Deep purple/deep green

Current obsession: Alas, nothing - trying to work on moderation and mindfulness/presence since my fixations have abandoned me. 

Any pets: I am a proud stepmommy to my partner’s two fluffy cats - a loud extrovert named Matilda and her much younger brother, a scaredy-cat named Loki. 

Favorite fictional character: Too many. Comment/message with a fandom and I’ll tell you my fav of that fandom! 

Tag time! Let’s see if @muskegmaenad​ @strangenewgirls​ @cylon-angel​ @punchholesinthesky​ or @adirotynd​ wanna do it, no pressure if not, of course, this is only for fun on the blue hellsite

[ms-scarletwings]

Honest Moment, Semi-Big Announcement: No More Media Musin’ Mondays (in name only)

I just haven’t been able to get out of the block of finishing my drafts backlog for so long. I started wondering what my problem was but like,, it’s not actual block. I’ve been dumping media takes left and right, proving I can do long posts for fandoms and throw in pointers to underrated little nuggets at the same time. In fact I feel like I’ve been doing plenty of that for the past couple months just in absence of formally including it as part of some weekly or bi-weekly series quota. Juggling regular posting, the creature fridays, and a project like that as a hobby of love just wasn’t as realistic as I’ve been pretending it to be

and honestly, this has been the status of this blog for a good while now since I started getting so back into Invader Zim and devoting a ton of analytical writing energy there. I still think I can find it in me in the future to get Creature feature fridays back on the tracks, and don’t think any of this is in relation to it just because MM’M was supposed to originally be its sister “thing”. If anything this kind of frees me up a lot to focus on that as the only bi-weekly write up, while letting the media takes of all kinds keep coming through as they’ve been.

Unrelated reason but still one the same, no one looks at or really followed those mini writes anyway. And that’s totally expected and no real one’s fault. Most of those were posted to my old blog, which is still stuck in the glitched-or-shadow-banned purgatory of being outside the reach of the already broken search functions of this hellsite. And I had virtually no presence here whatsoever back when I started those even then. I’m just ready to kind of get this self-imposed weight off my chest and keep moving ahead with what seems to work for now. You wanna know what I think about specific fictions, feel free to drop an ask or just search by fandom specific tags on my blog. You wanna encourage me to keep barfing about some specific game or character or analysis I’ve already touched on, you feed these brain worms and just see what might pop out and surprise you one day. We’re here for the fun of it at the end of everything, ye?

Peace to you, side “series” ✌️

[bookwyrminspiration]

Quil! Hello! I've been on here for a little while but we haven't interacted much so I thought I'd drop in and say hi :)

I'm Gail, and your blog was one of the ones that convinced me to join Tumblr! I love your analyses and fanfiction, and on that note, I'm going to read the Wings AU soon :D I've always wanted to but never had much time, so I'm going to start tackling that monster fic when I have a four-day weekend coming up!

Hope you're having a great day :)

Gail! Hello! It's lovely to properly meet you; we've crossed paths via shared circles (and I mainly associate you as a fellow classmate of Professor Spit, the heart!), but now I can say hi directly!

This isn't the first time I've heard someone say they joined in part because of me or that they enjoyed my blog prior to joining, but it gets me every time like ah! That is so cool! I'm incredibly flattered that my presence and posting on this hellsite was enjoyable? amusing? enough that you wanted to be a part of the site/fandom! It's lovely to have you here!

Also!! If you read the wings au please feel free to ask me anything you'd like/talk to me about it as much as you want because I ADORE the wings au and am always look for an opportunity to talk about it!

I should read it, actually. It's second birthday is coming up and there are some chapters I haven't seen/read since I posted them. It'd be cool to go back (and correct my numerous grammar mistakes). You know, multiple people have said they want to read the au, maybe we should make a book club out of it.

But anyway! I hope you enjoy the wings au because I have put a lot of time, effort, and love into that monster of a fic :). Even if it's not to your taste, your enthusiasm is still very appreciated!

And I'm doing alright today! Finally getting out of a minor reading slump, got back the grades for first assignments from the semester (first ones are always nerve wracking because it's like. all these new instructions and a new instructor! did I do it right? how you wanted me to?) and got 100s! I hope you're doing well, too! And that your day is kind to you <3

[discoscoob]

Hi friend, your presence on this hellsite has been missed! Any plans of coming back sometime? Season 2 of Loki is just a few months away!

Hi! I just came back to give my account a little repaint, guess what I’m into lately!

I’m sorry for my absence but I haven’t completely been under a rock, I’ve been staying as up to date as I can on the latest going on’s in the hellcheer fandom, I just feel very spent and like I have very little left to say that I haven’t said already, which might explain my lack of posts.

But I think it’s certain that I will return eventually, possibly when the new season of Loki starts, I’m very much looking forward to it and I’m sure I’ll have a lot of new things to say!

I hope everyone is doing well despite all the drama and discourse that still unfortunately continues. I know it’s been particularly bad lately 😔

[lyraeon]

Alright yeah we doin this

An incomplete list of current headcanons for Homestuck Classpects of Hermits (a work in progress)

(Updated on Feb 9 after the war's end made me realize a few things)

Joe has been throwing around big Rogue energy the last few weeks. Living in other people’s bases/borrowed spaces around the server, weaponizing stuff that’s frankly not weaponry, casually trying to bend the rules to pass over the moat, sneaking fans onto the server, creating a diss track in a matter of hours and “including” his teammates into it... all from a pacifist standpoint, mind you. I’m currently saying Rogue of Space. Edit: No no no I'm a goddamn fool. Wow. Joe is a Heart player. So I'm going with Rogue of Heart, though this revelation also has me reevaluating the Rogue part a little.

Doc has long obviously been a Doom player - the rules are his plaything. I’m going with Thief of Doom specifically. He has duplicated countless items over the seasons, he will manipulate the truth for his own purposes, and honestly just? Oh we’re gonna casually make a precision creeper cannon, oh and btw we’re gonna shoot ourselves in on llamas while we’re at it.

Grian I haven’t been watching for anywhere near as long so I’m having a hard time pinning down his class (my instincts say Heir, but he’s so ready to cause chaos I can see Bard or Prince), but his aspect for me comes down to Breath or Hope. He got almost the entire rest of the server to play along on three of his games by now simply by saying okay these are happening everyone :D c’mon let’s goooo! For being the diving force behind most the season right now, I dub him an Heir of Hope.

Tango is a Light player - his luck is too extraordinary (how many times has he said “I could use __” and gotten it?), he knows too much, he is happy to use that information for crazy shit. Plus last season he put a giant nether base into the overworld and this season he’s holding up a lake with a force field. I’d previously written him down as Prince of Light, but he’s softened out so other arguments could be made.

Xisuma is a Mage, keeping things organized and level. I had him down as a Space player when I made my original list last season, but part of that was a joke about his volcano. Having multiple “hims” all logged in on the LPMT server to AFK for different things and keep things in line felt more Time player though, and he isn’t someone I’d consider myself an “expert” on, so I’ll write him as “Mage of Time” with a large-ish question mark beside it.

I’ve always enjoyed the joke of Life player Cleo - after all, she’s a zombie! But this season she’s brought in the armor stands, which have a life of their own... Plus she was very, very, very determined to win that Phantom hunt. Between those, and a bit of bias via her long-running Sims series, as of right now I have her as a Witch of Life.

Cub as Lord of Void and Scar as Muse of Breath. I know, I know, pulling out Lord and Muse are fighting words, but explain to me how the heck else they get as much done as they do. Was particularly motivated by last season - Cub creating the Cub Hub, Scar managing 18,000 miles flown, and the sheer scale of their projects. Cub basically magics things into existence (or out of existence - the absurd win on the Phantom Hunt, getting bored and just finishing digging the nether hub), while Scar is the root of all inspiration on that server and so beloved his cat’s now in the game. Doubles as fun because Void and Breath fit Vex Magic both thematically and color-wise.

Rendog is a Page. I’m sorry, I don’t make the rules, he just is, you know it in your souls, and you know he would be proud of the dang outfit. I unfortunately don’t quite know what kind of Page though - currently my notes say Page of Heart.

Zedaph is a Bard of Life. I thought Page for him initially, too Wormman jokes but the man has to find the most difficult way to do everything and thrives on bases that blend into their surroundings. Also at one point he killed himself repeatedly to opera music just to troll people, so...

Stress’s is already suggested by her name - she’s a Maid of Rage. It makes more sense when you remember Rage is about emotions in general, rather than just actual rage, and see that her content, more than anyone else’s, feels ruled by her emotions in both release schedule and actual content. All of her singing, all of her typing out her accent, all of her actually expressing her frustrations but treating them as just part of life, all fit with that.

From here we start getting into people I’m only clear enough on to have one or the other written down for:

False is a Knight. She has a strong sense of duty and of preserving her self-image. She also can fight like nobody’s business.

Mumbo is a Time player. I thought Space at first as a joke about all his storage systems, but I’ve started to see those as a tool to balance how organized (and scant) his time is. More than any other hermit, he is a creature of habit/routine.

Impulse, as the other ideas guy, feels to me like a Mind player.

I think of Iskall as a Seer, but that may just be because of the imagery of his diamond eye.

Bdubs isn’t really around anymore, but while he was I had him down as a Blood player for his role within the NHO.

Everyone else I either can’t get a good enough read on despite watching them, or don’t watch enough of their content, to really pin anything down. Is Wels actually a Knight? I just don’t know, but I feel like no. Is anyone on this server a Sylph? Who the hell is the Space player so we can finally get a successful session? I just don't know!

But of course all of these are just my thoughts/headcanons, based on my observations and brief talk with a couple friends about it, so they are completely open to debate/interpretation/argument/expansion.

(Please debate me. I am that kind of person. I want to think more about these!)

[rynnaaurelius]

Character Continuity, #MenWritingWomen, & Healthy Relationships: The Tragedy of Annabeth Chase

[Tagging @evergardenwall and @thein273 real quick because they wanted to see this meta. Lord knows why]

I saw Annabeth Chase discourse on my dashboard, so, well. . .

This will be me breaking down Annabeth Chase's characterization and Rick Riordan's continued nonsense, in an attempt to square my many thoughts on her, for both my reference and maybe others'.

Also, bear in mind that a lot of this meta is less about Annabeth Chase as it is my breaking down what makes Annabeth Chase, because I do believe that she really stands out in how her background does and should shape who she is—and how often that gets ignored, both in canon and in fandom.

Disclaimer/Warnings: Extensive, non-graphic discussion of emotional/physical abuse and neglect, extensive discussion of sexism/internalized misogyny.

If you think I owe credit/should link to someone else, message me/leave me an ask.

In addition: My apologies in advance, but I cite directly from the books multiple times in this post, and the PDFs I use lack page numbers, so I do it by chapter.

Also, this post is long. Ridiculously long and hopefully thorough.

NOTE: Same rodeo rules as my Solangelo post:

I don't like bashing. Everyone can and should leave each other alone if they've got nothing nice to say. Block who you need to for a nice time on this fair hellsite.

While I'm not about to beat up on a ship/characters themselves—because they're hardly writing themselves—I'm about to take their characterization and Rick Riordan to the cleaners.

If that's not what you want to see, blacklist the tags 'anti percabeth', 'rr crit', 'riordan critical', and get on with your day, please.

Fandom isn't activism, but it can be hella racist, sexist, ableist, and queerphobic. We need to fight that.

Now, on with the show—

I. Fandom Context

I'm queer, got a small list of mental illnesses, and write Riordanverse fanfiction. I write a lot of Annabeth Chase's character/POV, too.

The character in question, Annabeth Chase, is a deuteragonist in Percy Jackson and the Olympians (PJO), and co-protagonist in its sequel series, Heroes of Olympus (HoO). She's popular in fandom, too.

As of 08/25/2021, she's in the third highest number of fanfictions in the Archive of Our Own (AO3) Percy Jackson and the Olympians - All Media Types fandom tag, behind only Percy Jackson and Nico di Angelo.

[Click on image details in the corner for description]

Of course, it's worth mentioning that this probably has a lot to do with:

A. Her long-time major presence in canon. Annabeth was introduced in The Lightning Thief (TLT), the first book of the original PJO series.

B. The dominance of the Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase ship, AKA Percabeth, within the fandom, which was formally canonized in The Last Olympian (TLO).

The latter is backed up by both anecdotal accounts and when looking at relationship rankings by fic number in AO3:

[Click on image details in the corner for description]

Annabeth and Percy's romantic relationship wins out at 8,412, with Nico di Angelo/Will Solace (AKA Solangelo) handily coming in second at 7,936. But Annabeth doesn't appear again, romantic or platonic, until the last placement, where her and Percy's platonic dynamic makes an appearance.

(Congrats on achieving Satan's favorite number for Percy and Annabeth's gen dynamic, by the way)

Anyway. Just to look at romantic rankings for thoroughness, I excluded Annabeth & Percy, and what d'you know:

[Click on image details in the corner for description]

Congrats to the Nico/Leo shippers, I remember when that ship was huge in the Riordanverse fandom.

But from this, I think it's safe to say that Annabeth's popularity, is at least partly wrapped up in the popularity of shipping her with Percy Jackson, despite her long-time tenure as a leading hero in the Riordanverse, particularly considering characters in her stratosphere of popularity (Percy, Nico), and those one step below (Jason Grace, Leo Valdez), feature multiple times within the most written-about romantic relationships.

So this is also a Percabeth analysis, which I'm sure will piss absolutely no one off. Wonderful.

(But we'll get there)

II. The Retconned, Pathetic, Half-Dead Clusterfuck We Call Annabeth's Timeline And Backstory

Rick Riordan can't do math or continuity with a gun to his head and it drives me insane, so that's what we're calling this section lmao

To keep me from going insane and keep confusion to a minimum, we'll be recounting what I call hard canon: Confirmed events, dates, and actions.

We're ignoring for a second the emotional and psychological fallout of choices, or soft canon, since—particularly for pre-canon events, which form the goddamn backbone of Annabeth's original series arc—there's a lot more there to interpret and argue over. Especially with regards to Annabeth's family and personal trauma, which gets Jossed repeatedly.

We're also ignoring my personal headcanons/fixed timeline that I use for writing fanfiction for a second, so if you read my shit. . .this ain't that Annabeth. Or the other one.

This is going to be pretty spare, since a lot of important things are left up for debate, and Riordan is fundamentally uninterested in the psychology of the mortal parents in his books.

1. When Annabeth is "born", her father asks Athena to take her back. She discusses this with Percy in TLT, Ch. 13: I Plunge To My Death:

"My dad’s resented me since the day I was born, Percy," she said. "He never wanted a baby. When he got me, he asked Athena to take me back and raise me on Olympus because he was too busy with his work. She wasn’t happy about that. She told him heroes had to be raised by their mortal parent."

2. In the same canon conversation, she tells Percy that she "took the hint. [She] wasn't wanted. . ." and ran away when she was seven, after what she recounts as inadvertent neglect due to her demigod status at best, and purposeful emotional neglect/abuse at worse.

She reaches camp before she turned eight with Grover Underwood, Thalia Grace, and Luke Castellan, with an army of monsters trying to kill them.

2A. Two summers before Percy Jackson arrives at Camp Half-Blood, when Annabeth is ten, she receives a letter from her father, asking for her to come home so they can try again. He gives her his Harvard college ring, which she still keeps.

"My dad sent it to me folded up in a letter, two summers ago. The ring was, like, his main keepsake from Athena. . .Anyway, he said he wanted me to have it. He apologized for being a jerk, said he loved me and missed me. He wanted me to come home and live with him."

This ends horribly, because of course.

"I tried to go home for that school year, but my stepmom was the same as ever. She didn’t want her kids put in danger by living with a freak. Monsters attacked. We argued. Monsters attacked. We argued. I didn’t even make it through winter break. I called Chiron and came right back to Camp Half-Blood."

[Both quotes above from TLT, Ch. 16: We Take A Zebra To Vegas]

3. With Thalia turned into a tree by her father, Zeus, to save her life, Annabeth remained at Camp Half-Blood for the next five years, as proven by the five beads on her camp necklace that she shows to Percy in TLT, Ch. 7: My Dinner Goes Up In Smoke:

Annabeth nodded. From under the collar of her T-shirt she pulled a leather necklace with five clay beads of different colors. It was just like Luke’s, except Annabeth’s also had a big gold ring strung on it, like a college ring.

"I’ve been here since I was seven," she said.

3A. Worth noting this makes Annabeth and Percy's official birth year of 1993 wrong. Percy is already twelve years old in June 2005, and Annabeth, while never stated outright to also be already twelve, they are heavily implied to be the same age multiple times throughout the original series.

We also get this in MoA, Ch. II: Annabeth:

She’d secretly had a crush on him since they were twelve years old.

So, they're born in 1992. This isn't all that important but I am petty and this has driven me batshit while working out timelines in the past.

4. At the end of the summer of TLT, Annabeth writes her father and asks to come home for the year (TLT, Ch. 22: The Prophecy Comes True):

"I wrote him a letter when we got back,’ Annabeth said. ‘Just like you suggested. I told him... I was sorry. I’d come home for the school year if he still wanted me. He wrote back immediately. We decided... we’d give it another try."

5. So, towards this point, we, as readers figures that Annabeth's family has been. . .not great, towards her, at minimum. A lot of things are left ambiguous, but it's clear that there's been a lot of misunderstandings and A+ Parenting going on. Which makes it very interesting when we reach The Titan's Curse (TTC), finally meet Frederick Chase, Annabeth's dad, and Helen Chase, her stepmother, and this is what we see (TTC, Ch. 16: We Meet The Dragon Of Eternal Bad Breath):

After hearing Annabeth gripe about her dad for two years, I was expecting him to have devil horns and fangs. I was not expecting him to be wearing an old-fashioned aviator’s cap and goggles. He looked so weird, with his eyes bugging out through the glasses, that we all took a step back on the front porch.

"Hello," he said in a friendly voice. "Are you delivering my aeroplanes?"

Thalia, Zoë and I looked at each other warily.

"Um, no, sir," I said.

"Drat," he said. "I need three more Sopwith Camels."

"Right," I said, though I had no clue what he was talking about. "We’re friends of Annabeth."

"Annabeth?" He straightened as if I’d just given him an electric shock. "Is she all right? Has something happened?"

Followed up shortly by Helen's—who Annabeth has expressed a lot of vitriol towards—first on-page appearance:

We introduced ourselves a little uneasily, but Mrs Chase seemed really nice. She asked if we were hungry. We admitted we were, and she told us she’d bring us some cookies and sandwiches and sodas.

"Dear," Dr Chase said. "They came about Annabeth."

I half expected Mrs Chase to turn into a raving lunatic at the mention of her stepdaughter, but she just pursed her lips and looked concerned.

"All right. Go on up to the study and I’ll bring you some food." She smiled at me. "Nice meeting you, Percy. I’ve heard a lot about you."

Effectively, after two books and change's worth of talking up Annabeth's difficult childhood and past and the borderline hate she's expressed for her father's choices and stepmother's treatment of her, both when she was seven and when she was ten, they're de-fanged within the narrative pretty quickly, with Percy repeatedly wondering if these are actually Annabeth's relatives.

6. This, of course, not to say that people can't change or improve for the better. It would be more than easy enough to mention how Annabeth's parents have read Parenting A Demigod For Dummies or similar since she's last seen them.

Instead, we get this conversation as our follow-up in TTC, Ch. 18: A Friend Says Goodbye:

Annabeth and I flew along side by side.

"Your dad seems cool," I told her.

It was too dark to see her expression. She looked back, even though California was far behind us now.

"I guess so," she said. "We’ve been arguing for so many years."

"Yeah, you said."

"You think I was lying about that?" It sounded like a challenge, but a pretty half-hearted one, like she was asking it of herself.

"I didn’t say you were lying. It’s just... he seems okay. Your stepmom, too. Maybe they’ve, uh, got cooler since you saw them last."

She hesitated.

And. . .there are interesting implications here, about Annabeth's perception of her parents when she was younger. I'm going to put a pin in this for the next section. They're not, necessarily, bad implications, considering Annabeth's character and how much is left ambiguous as of TTC about what exactly happened to make her run away beyond monsters and arguing with her parents.

7. For now, Annabeth's relationship with her mortal relatives seems fixed. Battle of the Labyrinth (BotL) and TLO happen, her mortal family remains off-screen, and we don't hear about them until the third book of HoO: The Mark of Athena (MoA), Ch. XX: Annabeth:

[This is a long passage, but I think it's important to include it in full]

Terror plunged her into memories. She was seven years old again, alone in her bedroom in Richmond, Virginia. The spiders came at night. They crawled in waves from her closet and waited in the shadows. She yelled for her father, but her father was away for work. He always seemed to be away for work.

Her stepmother came instead.

I don’t mind being the bad cop, she had once told Annabeth’s father, when she didn’t think Annabeth could hear.

It’s only your imagination, her stepmother said about the spiders. You’re scaring your baby brothers.

They’re not my brothers, Annabeth argued, which made her stepmother’s expression harden. Her eyes were almost as scary as the spiders.

Eventually she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. She woke up in the morning, freckled with bites, cobwebs covering her eyes, her mouth, and nose. The bites faded before she even got dressed, so she had nothing to show her stepmother except cobwebs, which her stepmother thought was some sort of clever trick.

No more talk of spiders, her stepmother said firmly. You’re a big girl now. The second night, the spiders came again. Her stepmother continued to be the bad cop. Annabeth wasn’t allowed to call her father and bother him with this nonsense. No, he would not come home early.

The third night, Annabeth ran away from home.

It's worth remembering that A) Annabeth is still seven years old and a child, B) Night terrors are not unheard-of in children, and C) A child screaming their head off every night and begging just to call their father is not something that you ignore and tell them to grow up with.

So. We now have two relationships for Annabeth and her mortal parents, because for as much as we get of her POV in HoO, we don't actually get very many details about what was, at minimum, a very messy complicated relationship. Either:

A. Despite being unprepared for a demigod child to raise, Annabeth's mortal parents did their best and Annabeth tricked herself into think they were both awful and gaslighted herself into believing they hated her and she had plenty of cause to run away from home.

B. Annabeth's mortal parents were woefully unprepared for a demigod child to raise, blamed the child for the monsters brought down upon them, and gaslighted the child about part of their godly heritage until said child—a daughter of Athena, who presumably is good at risk-reward calculations—decided they would rather take their chances on the run then stay home.

Pick your lane, Riordan.

III. Bringing Up Daisy A Demigod

Please note: This section is about to get into speculation and headcanon. I do my best to clearly delineate the line between my theories, insulting Riordan, and confirmed canon. Sorry if I fuck it up.

So, the case of Annabeth's father and stepmother is actually pretty curious in canon. Obviously, it's incredibly difficult to raise a demigod child, and I think sometimes that non-Sally Jackson parents don't get enough credit for the jobs they do.

Riordan tends to divide parents into two categories: parents that do such a wonderful job they're borderline canonized as saints (Sally Jackson, Esperanza Valdez, Maria di Angelo), and parents who utterly fail at parenting (Beryl Grace, May Castellan, Marie Levesque).

Mind you, this is also how he and the narrative paint them and their actions. I could write whole essays on Riordan's treatment of mothers and my feelings about that, but we're focusing on Annabeth's mortal parents here.

And they're. . .weird. I think the closest parent to them is Tristan McLean, but he nopes out of facing Piper's demigod heritage in canon for his own mental health.

Frederick—because ultimately, this all comes down to Frederick—is, ultimately, given a "passing" grade in demigod parenting in canon, with the giant asterisk of Annabeth running away because she believed he and Helen didn't care about her.

But—still just going off of what's confirmed in canon—I'm disinclined to disagree with this (Bear in mind I love Frederick's mad scientist/historian schtick; I like him. I don't think he's a great parent).

So, he and Athena have a whole whirlwind romance. Athena gives him their brainchild as a symbol of their intellectual love. Frederick doesn't want said child, knowing who Athena is.

But obviously, he gets with the program and raises Annabeth, clearly informing Annabeth of who her mother is and what she is from a young age. Which works, to a point.

The problem is the monsters. And the spiders. And the godly heritage. And—look, integrating families is difficult enough when all the children involved are mortal.

Telling Annabeth Chase that her mother is a freaking goddess, but also, her father is in love again and re-marrying, is not going to go over well. Not when Annabeth's a small child and, admittedly, a prideful little shit on the best of days.

But regardless of how difficult she's being, she's still a child and Frederick's responsibility, since he either owned up, or is still refusing responsibility (Which would be a huge yikes).

I think to not inform her stepmother, the person taking care of her while Frederick is away, traveling wherever he is for his job, that Annabeth's a demigod and there may be consequences from that, is parental malpractice.

Because. . .look. Pre-MoA, it's very easy to make a case that Annabeth was determined to think the worst of her mortal parents, and any and all mistakes/arguments they had were magnified tenfold in her mind—and then once she meets Thalia, Luke, and their parental horrorshows, it's very easy to put together something in her mind that matches what her new family went through.

But the spiders happened. The supernatural night terrors happened.

And her parents not only did nothing, but those two nights of night terrors left Annabeth Chase, daughter of the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, convinced that she was better off running away from home, alone.

She was also clearly still of the belief that her father could fix everything, and judging from the state of Frederick and Helen's marriage in TTC as well as Bad Cop conversation, "don't let Annabeth call her father for 'attention' while he's on a work trip" is likely a mutual decision between the two of them.

(It's also worth questioning the consequences of how Frederick is implied to be clear-sighted, since he's able to see the Pegasi Blackjack, Guido, and Porkpie in TTC without problems, but Helen is not)

She meets Thalia Grace and Luke Castellan and things get. . .even more fascinating, frankly. Because those two very angry, very violent teenagers—not without reason, don't get me wrong—essentially then spend a pretty important time in Annabeth's life acting as the closest thing to parents she has.

So, believing her parents either can't or won't acknowledge what's happening to her, and, like her parents, blaming herself for the monsters said to have been attacking their home in Richmond, VA, Annabeth runs away from home.

[Edit, 12/5/2021: I dunno how many people will ever actually see this, but I think an oversight I made in this post is mentioning that abusers appearing perfectly charming and normal and nothing like their victims mentioned is really common in real life, and Riordan playing it straight via Percy's POV is, uh, really fucked up? It's increasingly my suspicion that this also really contributes to fandom perception of Annabeth's trauma, too.

Anyway. As you were.]

She's assuming her demigod heritage and modeling herself after her heroes, by her own admission: Luke and Thalia.

Then Annabeth loses Thalia. She then only has Luke and Camp Half-Blood to take care of her through a pretty formative time in her life, where she's taught the only possible way she can hold onto anything is being smarter and better at violence then anyone else.

Which, well. Annabeth Chase is pretty good at that.

IV. Character Construction: Growth and Flaws

One of my most red-hot takes in Riordanverse fandom coming right up. Ready?

Annabeth Chase has no character arc in the original PJO series or HoO.

(Percy doesn't have much of one either, but that's for another essay)

It's really obvious and depressing with Annabeth, however, because she is perfectly set up for some really fascinating characterization. And Riordan draws attention to it! Attachment issues, hubris, just generally. . .Annabeth learning how to healthily deal with people outside of immediate life-or-death situations, because my god, she's got hang-ups.

(Not unreasonably so, all things considered. But still)

But nothing is ever meaningfully done with this. In TLT, there are signs of growth—Annabeth looks like she's coming to respect Percy and view him as a friend (Wanting him on her team for Capture The Flag, talking about her family with him, looking after him when he's attacked by the pit scorpion, etc), we see her both put her own intelligence to work and work with Grover and Percy (fighting the Furies, Medusa, dog-training Cerberus, fighting Ares, etc).

There are still flaws and signals of recurring issues over the rest of the series (Annabeth's attachment issues acting up with Rachel) along with signs of Annabeth's own inherent strengths and abilities (Such as fighting the Hydra), and her ability to still learn from mistakes when faced with them (Tellingly, they usually require her to face physical consequences because of her own belief in her intelligence).

But nothing's ever made of it. There's no culminating moment.

Things get. . .weird. Repeatedly weird, throughout the original series. In Sea of Monsters (SoM), we have the fatal flaw discussion (Ch. 13: Annabeth Tries To Swim Home):

"You feel that way?"

She looked down. "Don’t you ever feel like, what if the world really is messed up? What if we could do it all over again from scratch? No more war. Nobody homeless. No more summer reading homework."

And this is genuinely interesting stuff! You can see how Luke would try to exploit that to try and get her on his side in the future! This is what Kronos is claiming he offers to the demigods.

Annabeth's belief in her ideals, combined with her conviction in her intelligence and ability to get this right, can make for a dangerous combination.

This also combines pretty beautifully with her relationship with Luke, which is. . .a mess.

(We're going to ignore any romantic overtones from that scene in TLO from Luke towards Annabeth. He loved her like a little sister/daughter, she adored him and had a helluva crush on him for a while. End. Of. Story.

. . .Riordan really doesn't remember what age differences as a teenager were like, huh)

Anyway. With Thalia as a pine tree and her relationship with her mortal parents still up in the air, Luke was the only family Annabeth had and the person she had convinced herself that she could depend on for anything. Luke, in turn, kept losing family to the gods and their apparent whims: First his mother to the Oracle, then Thalia to the Great Prophecy, and now he has watch his siblings and Annabeth grow up and wait for them to die.

They absolutely bring out the worst and most irrationally emotional parts in each other and it's been established many—

"Travelling with a Cyclops," Luke chided. "Talk about dishonouring Thalia’s memory! I’m surprised at you, Annabeth. You of all people—"

"Stop it!" she shouted.

I didn’t know what Luke was talking about, but Annabeth buried her head in her hands like she was about to cry.

[SoM, Ch. 9: I Have The Worst Family Reunion Ever]

—many—

I knew immediately that Annabeth had designed it all. She was the architect for a whole new world. She had reunited her parents. She had saved Luke. She had done everything she’d ever wanted.

[SoM, Ch. 13: Annabeth Tries To Swim Home]

—many—

“Luke!” Annabeth yelled. “Stop this. Let us go!”

[BotL, Ch. 14: My Brother Duels Me To The Death]

—many—

He did just what I expected. He said, “Antaeus is dead. His oath dies with him. But since I’m feeling merciful today, I’ll have you killed quickly.”

[BotL, Ch. 14: My Brother Duels Me To The Death]

—many—

"YOU!" Annabeth turned on Luke. "To think that I—that I thought—"

She drew her knife.

"Annabeth, don’t." I tried to take her arm, but she shook me off.

She attacked Kronos, and his smug smile faded. Perhaps some part of Luke remembered that he used to like this girl, used to take care of her when she was little. . .I yanked her back as Kronos swung his scythe, slicing the air where she’d been standing.

She fought me and screamed, "I HATE you!" I wasn’t sure who she was talking to—me or Luke or Kronos.

[TLO, Ch. 18: My Parents Go Commando]

—many times.

Yes, my other red-hot take is that Annabeth should've had a corruption arc at some point. Nobody will convince me otherwise.

But back to the point, which is not what I think should've happened with Annabeth, but rather how we never really see her struggle with actual weak points in her personality and/or past.

In BotL, when she's in a rather one-sided pissing match with Rachel Elizabeth Dare over Percy's affections because. . .girls, I guess, it's pretty obvious that it's not—or, at least, shouldn't be—over Percy's romantic affections.

It's over the fact that Rachel offers Percy something that Annabeth never can, and in doing so, threatens Annabeth's place in Percy's life as his Most Important Friend.

(Rachel de facto also threatens Grover's place in Percy's life as his best friend, but Grover, to the best of our knowledge, doesn't have endless attachment issues.)

Rachel, while being clear-sighted, is still a mortal. She—pre-becoming the Oracle of Delphi—leads a pretty normal life. When she and Percy hang out, it's outside demigod things. It's Percy, for the first time in a long while that he gets to experience normal things that are good things. It's not having to cope with Smelly Gabe, or try and not fail out of mortal high school, or worry over his mom.

When he hangs out with Rachel, he's completely himself, not fighting for his life, and gets to hang out with some he likes. This is really fucking rare in Percy's life.

Hell, in TLO (Ch. 1: I Go Cruising With Explosives):

Technically I wasn't supposed to be driving because I wouldn't turn sixteen for another week, but my mom and my stepdad, Paul, took my friend Rachel and me to this private stretch of beach on the South Shore, and Paul let us borrow his Prius for a short spin.

You could switch out names of people and places, and this could be just about any summer coming-of-age teen romcom. Percy "my life as a half-blood sucks shit beyond even the normal half-blood experience" Jackson never gets this.

Rachel even knows and respects the fact that he's a demigod and will always be sucked back into that. Bonus points.

(. . .I might be spreading the Rachel/Percy agenda here. Maybe)

Anyway. Annabeth knows this. She really knows this. Annabeth, who has, at some point or another, lost nearly everyone in her life because of either too much demigod or too much mortal, who has survived by fully assuming her demigod identity year-round, can't offer Percy something like this.

We should see Annabeth struggling with this. Struggling with the idea that Percy can go, have nice things in the mortal world, still do demigods things, and not completely lose him like she has Thalia, Luke, or her father.

But nope.

So, Rachel,” Annabeth said, “where are you from, exactly?”

[BotL, Ch. 14: My Brother Duels Me To The Death]

Bearing Annabeth's attachment, abandonment, and losing-people issues in mind, i think this also puts quite a different spin on this moment from BotL, Ch. 13: We Hire A New Guide:

Annabeth glared at me. “You are the single most annoying person I have ever met!” And she stormed out of the room.

Less "jealousy" and more "I spent two weeks convinced you were dead and just realized you are not only not dead, but instead spent two weeks with a beautiful immortal goddess who asked you to stay with her and because of my unprocessed relationship issues and the number of emotions I'm dealing with right now, I can't really process that properly."

If I'm allowed to fully editorialize for a second: I find jealousy subplots, ninety percent of the time, to be extremely tedious and pointless, including here. Percy doesn't fully clue into the fact that Annabeth's jealous of Rachel for whatever reason, Annabeth doesn't learn how to let go of her friends and not be so possessive, and nothing is learned by anyone.

All that's achieved is Annabeth looks much worse as a person than before, and is eventually rewarded with a kiss on Percy's sixteenth birthday and her "romantic competition" being sworn to eternal celibacy.

No growth. No change. Nothing.

And there could've been, I repeat, something, a lot of something, to be learned here, especially with Annabeth fully and completely losing Luke to Kronos in the same book, as he takes on the Titan's spirit. With her learning to emotionally let go and move on in healthy ways.

And it's really emblematic of Annabeth's problems growing as a character, at the end of the day. She has enough truly great traits and strengths to remain a protagonist—Annabeth, for all that Riordan rarely gives her a chance to shine, is still brilliant as hell, doesn't know how to surrender without stabbing her enemy in the back, is stubborn as a pig, and sticks to her guns, and I love her for it—but the flaws. . .man, her flaws.

Riordan never actually picks at her true flaws beyond waving vaguely in their general direction, and instead chooses weaknesses that have either never been particularly relevant to her as a character, or things that, if anything, were shored up in the original series.

Case in point:

What did Annabeth have? A bronze dagger that did nothing special, and a cursed silver coin. She had her backpack with Daedalus’s laptop, a water bottle, a few pieces of ambrosia for emergencies, and a box of matches—probably useless, but her dad had drilled into her head that she should always have a way to make fire. She had no amazing powers. Even her one true magic item, her New York Yankees cap of invisibility, had stopped working, and was still back in her cabin on the Argo II.

[MoA, Ch. XXXIII: Annabeth]

Two perceived weaknesses for her to overcome here: The lack of her divine mother helping her out, and no big shiny weapons or special powers.

Two weaknesses that Annabeth has been dealing with her entire life. Hell, Annabeth is the one who gives Percy the "your godly parents aren't ever around" speech in TLT. She knows this.

And the lack of special powers isn't new. If we were to salvage that, it would be the fact that for a rare time in her life, Annabeth is alone.

(Cue: My angry speech about how MoA is where we should have gotten what went down in TTC while Annabeth was kidnapped, and how that should've been interesting as fuck.

And even then, she had Luke and Artemis)

Annabeth gets less character development than Percy in HoO and that is saying something.

But what do I know, compared to the guy who makes his stand-in for any sexism less blatant than a literal ancient dude ghost thinking women shouldn't be warriors to be blonde hair?

V. Notes on Demigod Children and Inherited Traits

Okay, this section is going to be short and sweet due to obvious reasons, but I feel that I should include it for the sake of completeness. It wouldn't be a meta essay about Annabeth Chase if I didn't address The Blonde ThingTM.

*Clears Throat* Ahem.

The Blonde Thing is beyond stupid and peak #MenWritingWomen. I have spoken.

I am blond. The only people I have ever met who even made blond jokes even semi-seriously were preteen boys, who knew that it would get a rise out of their female blonde agemates with short tempers.

. . .which lines right up with Rick Riordan, now that I think about it.

I do suspect the blonde hair was meant to function as a stand-in for the systematic misogyny Annabeth would face as a female genius in a male-dominated field, when her social skills are already not fantastic.

And, like, that's interesting, but it also requires you to have a more nuanced understanding of feminism than the late aughts-celebrity tabloids. Or any idea of how to actually write women and girls.

Lastly: Having the godly inherited traits of the goddess of wisdom being blonde hair and grey eyes is racist as hell and I despise it. Fuck off, Riordan. I get you want a resemblance of some kind, but THIS:

Annabeth sat at table six with a bunch of serious-looking athletic kids, all with her grey eyes and honey-blonde hair.

[TLT, Ch. 7: My Dinner Goes Up In Smoke]

This isn't it.

The last thing I remember is collapsing on a wooden porch, looking up at a ceiling fan circling above me, moths flying around a yellow light and the stern faces of a familiar-looking bearded man and a pretty girl, her blonde hair curled like Cinderella’s.

[TLT, Ch. 4: My Mother Teaches Me Bullfighting]

Tell me you don't understand how white women's hair normally works without telling me you don't understand how white women's hair normally works.

Either Annabeth's hair is a thick rat's nest and Percy's just being poetic, which is absolutely fair, knowing that boy, or Annabeth actually enjoys curling her hair and taking excellent care of it. You can't have her Not Like Other Girls it and give her fabulous loose curls, Riordan.

*For reference, here's what the infamous and oft-used "princess blond curls", a descriptor used by multiple characters, actually look like IRL:

VI. Perseus Jackson

This section is going to make everyone angry. I apologize in advance.

So, Annabeth Chase and Percy Jackson. Probably one of the more iconic canon romantic relationships of fantasy of the last twenty years. There's a reason for that.

Before I tear it apart, let's get a couple things straight:

A. They do have chemistry for days. There's a reason, beyond the relatively young age of the Riordanverse fandom, that they're so pervasively shipped.

B. They can, in the right hands, do a pretty good opposites complement each other, instead of opposites attract.

C. They hit a lot of the tropes in canon that people really enjoy, and, for the most part the story (if not the writing), is a good one; you've got friends to lovers, mild Romeo & Juliet vibes due to their parents, they're pretty badass together, lots of genuine attraction that isn't just the usual compulsory heteronormativity, etc.

D. They genuinely possess a lot of legwork and time put into their relationship, with plenty nice moments. I believe they have a strong relationship with romantic potential/realized romance.

E. Annabeth Chase is not Satan. She is a traumatized, brilliant demigod with attachment issues, who has been repeatedly failed by the adults and people acting in loco parentis around her. This doesn't rob her of all agency or blame for what we're about to discuss.

F. (Those attachment and mistrust issues are part of the reason she and Percy "I never met a friend I wouldn't burn the world for" Jackson work, but that doesn't excuse. . .well)

There is, however, one and a half problems. Very big ones. I say half because I'm of the opinion that one feeds off the half, but not entirely, so it still counts.

1. So, remember how we just finished discussing all of Annabeth's many issues, that Riordan never really addresses in any meaningful capacity? As well as how he so drastically missed the point with Annabeth's jealousy towards Rachel? I sort of lied in saying Riordan never really addresses them.

He does. He romanticizes a lot of Annabeth's more trauma-related and problematic traits where Percy/Annabeth is concerned.

We're going to largely study the big one, because it's the infamous one, and also. . .it really sort of encapsulates Annabeth's issues, how they're channeled into her and Percy's relationship, proves Riordan is aware of them, but then. . .nothing is ever done about it.

[PLEASE NOTE: If discussion/breakdown of an abusive action/patterns of potential abusive or toxic actions are triggering for you, skip to 1.5, marked with asterisks and in bigger text.]

From MoA, Ch. II, Annabeth:

Annabeth grabbed his wrist and flipped him over her shoulder. He slammed into the stone pavement. Romans cried out. Some surged forward, but Reyna shouted, “Hold! Stand down!”

Annabeth put her knee on Percy’s chest. She pushed her forearm against his throat. She didn’t care what the Romans thought. A white-hot lump of anger expanded in her chest—a tumor of worry and bitterness that she’d been carrying around since last autumn.

“If you ever leave me again,” she said, her eyes stinging, “I swear to all the gods—”

There's a lot going down here. We're going to break it down.

-First off, we've got the immediate violence. This isn't something I'm going to excuse because you shouldn't judo flip your boyfriends, no matter how terrifying the last couple weeks have been for you, but it's certainly. . .explainable (re: Annabeth has been repeatedly taught via traumatic experience that the best way to handle losing people and re-assert control over the situation is action of some kind, usually violent).

-I'm also going to say it outright, because I think it's only responsible of me to say: It is an abusive action. Men can be abused by their partners, including if said partner is a woman.

-It's not an inherently bad place for the narrative to go, but it, like many other places in these books, is an excellent time for Annabeth to realize that her trauma is hurting others, including her boyfriend.

-So. Next up. Obviously, we have the reaction of the Romans, Reyna telling them to stand down until they get a better idea of what just happened, since presumably, Percy has been singing Annabeth's praises since he got his memory back.

-Then we have the next big thing, which tells me that Annabeth's. . .lack of self-awareness, at times, when she lacks a degree of separation from the situation at hand, is in place, when she says, "If you ever leave me again. . ."

-Obviously, Percy didn't have a choice in the matter, which leaves me inclined to believe this is the shitty writing acting up again, because for whatever reasons, Riordan decided in the back half of HoO that he had it out for Percy (But that's another essay), or—it is, once again, after what's probably been an awful couple months for Annabeth, a lot of very old, scarring stuff is acting up in victim-blaming Percy for his kidnapping in that moment.

-The thing that kills me is this isn't a bad moment, but a very good one, if we treat it for what it is: a wake-up call that Annabeth's trauma has exaggerated her worst personality traits until she's now hurting the people she loves.

*1.5*

A lot of Problem #1 featured my making sense of the canon given us, so I think I've earned the right to quickly go off on a few things out of diegesis real quick, so here we go:

Richard Riordan sucks at writing female characters and I will fucking fight him in a Denny's parking lot at 3AM over it.

Annabeth Chase, in the original series, suffers from a lot of tropes of late aughts/early teens pop culture feminism: She's aggressive, SmartTM, dismissive of boys, Pretty Without Trying, suffers from the ever-infamous I'm Not Like Other Girls Syndrome, in which Annabeth seems to almost actively avoid or even hate being perceived as a normal girl her age—something that, interestingly, Riordan almost seems to try and rectify with writing Annabeth and Piper into a close friendship off-page between The Lost Hero (TLH) and MoA.

Admittedly, while I like the idea of Annabeth and Piper bonding, there's certainly something to be said for Riordan choosing Piper, who gets a narrative where she gets to prove to her half-sister, Drew Tanaka, an embodiment of "what Aphrodite stands for" and extremely traditionally feminine, that she is That Much Better than Drew.

In addition to be extremely annoying to sift through for a real character, it also betrays a real lack of thought of Riordan into what Annabeth's non-Percy life looks like, which carries over into HoO in the form of a fairly popular complaint: Annabeth and Percy spend way too much time being a cutesy endgame couple.

If Annabeth's closest friend pre-Percy's arrival is Luke, who's much older than her and pre-occupied with trying to bring down Olympus, and Grover, who by all accounts hasn't been that close to her since the loss of Thalia, that's going to leave a mark.

It's certainly a reasonable enough scenario: Annabeth's terrified of opening up again after bonding to the point of co-dependency with Thalia and Luke, while Percy befriends her against her will.

But we don't get that. We don't get tales of Annabeth actively avoiding becoming too close with her siblings, or telling Clarisse and Silena and her other age-mates to go away, she doesn't need them. Or her learning to open up again.

Annabeth Chase, for all that she gets a lot of time on-screen, never gets clear turning points of growth in her character because she's too busy struggling for the purpose of the men in her life.

She's never afforded the complexity necessary for growth, unless it's in service of the plot, or furthering the character of Percy Jackson or Luke Castellan.

She explains her background and fatal flaws to Percy so he can learn. She struggles with her relationship with Luke so that Luke can have angst over being the bad guy—or because making Luke/Thalia canon is too much moral ambiguity for Rick Riordan.

Hell, even in TLT, when she's struggling with returning to her family, Percy Jackson is encouraging her to return to the family she tells him didn't want her, and is very eager to make excuses for them:

. . .He got a “regular” mortal wife, and had two “regular” mortal kids, and tried to pretend I didn’t exist."

I stared out the train window. The lights of a sleeping town were drifting by. I wanted to make Annabeth feel better, but I didn’t know how.

"My mom married a really awful guy," I told her. "Grover said she did it to protect me, to hide me in the scent of a human family. Maybe that’s what your dad was thinking."

[TLT, Ch. 13: I Plunge To My Death]

As well as this wonderfully uncomfortable bit, after Annabeth informs Percy that whenever she visits her family, monsters attack, she's blamed for everything, and she gets into endless arguments until she decides it's better off at camp:

"You think you’ll ever try living with your dad again?"

She wouldn’t meet my eyes. "Please. I’m not into self-inflicted pain."

"You shouldn’t give up," I told her. ‘You should write him a letter or something."

"Thanks for the advice," she said coldly, "but my father’s made his choice about who he wants to live with."

[TLT, Ch. 16: We Take A Zebra To Vegas]

Of course, as we've previously well-established, Riordan either can't quite decide the narrative that he wants for Annabeth's backstory, or he has a very complicated one in mind that he refuses to devote the needed legwork to. So the veracity of some of what Percy is told can be left up in the air.

And Percy is, of course, still pretty optimistic, seeing as far as he's concerned, Sally is nothing but wonderful—to say nothing of how weird Riordan can get with biological relatives and the need to have them in your life.

But all things considered, with Percy is able to push that with an ease that I find mildly discomforting. Annabeth's life is given a simplicity and ease that I find discomforting, all things considered.

She's held in captivity and what amounts to torture as she's tricked by her oldest living friend into holding up the sky during TTC, with few apparent consequences. Assuming she's gained friends at some point, we don't see much of her grief or worry in BotL or TLO.

Percy is a limited narrator, but very little is given of Annabeth that revolves around Annabeth. Even Annabeth lashing out after Percy's return about Ogygia is back to Percy. Not her own emotions or mental state after the immediate fact.

In TLO, the closest Annabeth gets past Love-Interest-In-Waiting (re: Rachel) and Plot-Device-For-Percy's-Badassery-And-Manpain (Being Percy's anchor and taking Ethan's knife for him), is her moments with Luke as they struggle towards the finale, when we finally get, "Family, Luke. You promised."

It's about Annabeth and Luke's relationship and Annabeth finally letting him go! It's great!

But even that is turned back around in service of Luke and Percy with this:

"Did you . . ." Luke coughed and his lips glistened red. "Did you love me?"

[TLO, Ch. 19: We Trash The Eternal City]

(We're ignoring any romantic overtones that aren't between Annabeth and Percy in this scene or about Annabeth's one-sided crush on Luke. Ignoring them, damn it}

It's all in service of Luke and Percy's angst in completing the Final Prophecy. Which I would possibly give a pass for because adrenaline and final battle and story pacing if Luke were brought up at all in HoO.

Beyond Percy's thinking about him for 0.5 seconds in MoA, of course.

For all that Annabeth has a lot of POV time in The Mark of Athena and The House of Hades (HoO), she's not afforded much depth in her narrative.

We don't learn anything new about her, we don't hear much about her mortal family, whom she is presumably at least on speaking terms with these days, and—most infuriatingly enough, in my opinion—she doesn't spend much time thinking about her own life beyond, well, her boyfriend.

And. . .look. In a lot of ways, the original PJO series really reflect the environment and time they were written in. Including and perhaps especially in the treatment of Annabeth.

There are a lot of things in there can be forgiven, however, with good writing in HoO that's reflective of greater attention in writing female characters and affording them complex inner lives that don't either revolve around the plot at hand or their love interest.

This. . .doesn't happen. TLH!Annabeth Chase being singularly obsessed with finding her missing boyfriend speaks for itself, I've already discussed MoA quite a lot, and I think HoH really speaks for itself with this:

"I can’t see!" She touched her face, looking around wildly. Her eyes were pure white.

[HoH, Ch. XXIX: Percy]

This is all good and cool; it's a sweet callback to both SoM and THe Odyssey, actually centered around Annabeth's own deeds.

"Percy!" Annabeth’s voice cracked. "Why did you leave me?"

[HoH, CH. XXX: Percy]

This isn't inherently bad, per se, but considering Percy's already coping with Bob/Iapetus finding out he's responsible for the memory wipe and didn't tell him, combined with both past and future events in the Tartarus sequence, it's really. . .low, I think.

To have Annabeth's pain still be centered around Percy and her relationship with him (As well, I think, to be equally low for Calypso, who portrayed no visible bitterness in BotL, to curse Annabeth anyway, then add in the pointless feud between Percy and Leo over Calypso in the next book).

This entire scene isn't about Annabeth's abandonment issues, or it would have been in her POV. It's about torturing Percy and furthering the manpain.

And then Blood of Olympus (BoO) happens, neither Percy or Annabeth are meaningfully involved at all, Annabeth has to be rescued multiple times, Percy has to be rescued by the son of Jupiter from Percy's own half-sister in the sea, and Riordan writes Percy and Annabeth's dynamic like they're thirteen years old again and still trying to figure out how to be friends.

So. . .why was Annabeth in the Seven? If the Mark of Athena was purposefully a solo quest with the line of "Wisdom's daughter stands alone" and she gives no meaningful contribution to defeating Gaea in BoO that another demigod handy with a sword could've filled.

If anything, to be frank, she could've seen a much more interesting and meaningful story if Reyna had been in the Seven and Annabeth had accompanied the Athena Parthenos back home with Nico, forcing the Romans to confront their crimes again Athena/Minerva in the form of the statue and the goddess's favored living daughter.

Percy/Annabeth is a fun ship and, to a certain extent, deserves it's large fandom, thanks to the character chemistry and nice canon moments on their own.

But the shoddy writing around Annabeth's personality, trauma, personal story, and Riordan's inability to write mature romantic relationships with fierce partners that don't feature genuine threats of violence issues that need to be acknowledged and critiqued in work.

The misogyny in being incapable of writing a complex, brilliant, and flawed female character without writing abusive tendencies and romanticizing that bullshit is truly breathtaking.

(And yes. I've seen what he's done with Magnus Chase and Alex Fierro)

VII. Fandom Treatment

I figure, as always, it's worth making a note about the two treatments of Annabeth that I've seen in how fandom and fanon treat her because as always, none of us are off the hook:

1. The people who romanticize Percy/Annabeth in its full canon form to within an inch of its life, think Annabeth has done nothing wrong ever, and think the judo flip is the peak of romance. This is the majority of y'all and I can't say I wasn't once one of you and really annoying about it, because we were all young and stupid, but we all have to grow up at some point.

(And listen, listen. If you want ships that aren't necessarily that healthy because you want that fantasy or you want Percy/Annabeth as a not-fully-healthy ship in a fic, I have both suggestions and fully encourage you.

Just tag properly and be aware of what you're writing. Abuse and toxicity are no joke, including and especially if a woman is an abuser)

2. This is much more the minority, but they exist because I've seen y'all on my dash: People who despise Percy/Annabeth because they can't take the shit in canon, which is absolutely more than fair and I love you all, and think that Annabeth, is, well. . .Satan.

Also I swear if I see one more person sexualizing Annabeth by claiming that she's, I dunno, "fucking her way to the top," I will. . .probably block you and get on with my life. Because I am an adult. Despite certain appearances. But still. Stop it.

Annabeth's twelve and that's a goddamn misogynistic trope used in the workplace against women and in media. It's gross.

She's a flawed character. You can dislike her. She's certainly not the most likeable girl in the world.

I think learning to realize and remember that there's always an author behind your favorite character or least favorite character's actions, and that you can disagree with the writing choice (before getting on with your life and leaving the creator the fuck alone), is an important lesson in fandom. Allows for some clear-headedness.

VIII. Conclusions

I gotta be honest: Annabeth's my girl.

At least within the original series, she's coded pretty hard as autistic and actually ADHD, in a way I find intensely relatable. She's smart as hell, not afraid of it, and has a thing for competency. She's so, so brave.

When she's not got the abusive tendencies creeping in, she also fiercely adores her friends, knows how to make her enemies regret it, and doesn't say die. She met the one person in the world who should've been her enemy and decided yes, this is my new friend. I'm going to get hurt again with him.

She's also got abandonment issues, a possessive streak, a desperate need for therapy, and a nasty temper. Again, I. . .well, I relate to a lot of that.

It's buried under a lot of shit, but Annabeth is unapologetically flawed in a way that's refreshing and rare for female characters, still. I latched on hard when I was young and never quite let go.

I wrote this meta because, despite it all, I love Annabeth Chase, I hate what Riordan warps her into, and I hate the indifference she's treated with when Percy's romance with her isn't being furthered.

I. . .I dunno, what I'm trying to convince y'all of, with this meta. I just hope it's coherent, at this point.

"So if the gods fight," I said, "will things line up the way they did with the Trojan War? Will it be Athena versus Poseidon?"

She put her head against the backpack Ares had given us, and closed her eyes. "I don't know what my mom will do. I just know I'll fight next to you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?"

[TLT, Ch. 16: We Take A Zebra To Vegas]

If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, HERE is a link to resources for victims and survivors of domestic violence. It includes a phone number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, National Dating Abuse Hotline, National Child Abuse Hotline, and other relevant resources (If in the USA).

Please, please get the help you need and deserve.

[tres-fidelis]

🌸🌹🌴💐!! if thats not too many !!

Send me a symbol

🌸 = my roleplay petpeeve

((This one is a little particular, but if I give a partner quite a bit of a reply that could be a paragraph or two long I don't want to get something like one sentence back. I can understand if it's just a bit of back and forth things between us, but if it's something you're consistently doing in longer form kind of threads, I'll get turned off fairly fast. If you can give me a little more meat than just a single line, then that's something I can work with easily!))

🌹 = my opinion on your character

((Kay, you have SO many wonderful characters which are all very unique!! Each of your character's has a specific voice to them, whether it's them speaking aloud to the other character or they're speaking from within. I think that can be a bit of a challenge when it comes to write multiple muses, but you work with it so so well!

Your Akira and Akechi definitely have different kinds of mindsets and ponderings when they're presented with a situation. There's a different kind of inner monologue that goes on when Akechi wants to 'play nice' and use his princely mask or when he can take that off when in the presence of someone he trusts more. It's something very noticeable in your writing, and I absolutely love seeing it!))

🌴 = a favorite canon character in my fandom (I'll go MMX for this)

((BOY BOY BOY BOY BOY!!!!! I LOVE AXL SO MUCH!!))

💐 = my favorite part about the fandom (I'll do MMX for this too)

((I gotta say, since I've been in the MMX fandom with my OC Jayden has been well received by many peeps here!! It's surprising considering how touch it is for an OC on this hellsite, but I felt she was welcomed quite warmly when I first started writing Jayden. She's gotten A LOT of development since I brought her here, and there's PLENTY MORE for her to come as well!))

[radiowallet]

For the month of December I want to highlight some of the blogs that have made my time on the hellsite (affectionate) a truly wonderful and fulfilling experience! Some I have interacted with personally, while others I have lurked in the background like shadowy gremlin, but my love is there none the less. This is by no means a comprehensive list because there are so many amazing and wonderful people out there making days brighter with just their simple presence and kind hearts! To all of you, ALL OF YOU, Happy Holidays! I am so grateful for all of you!

Today I want to start by highlighting @softpedropascal​ Cass is someone who I’ve admired from afar and up close. Her writing, especially the time she has spent making yearn for one Frankie Morales cannot be understated. Her masterlist is chock full of goodness and I go back time and time again when I’m having a bad day or need a pick me up, and just let myself get lost in the goodness. It also cannot be said enough how kind and funny and honest Cass is. I’m rubbish at telling people this but it deserves to be said, every day, all day, how much I enjoy seeing Cass’s thoughts and feelings come across my dash. Whether she’s having a laugh or being open and honest about her life, I’m always excited to see her profile pic. Thank you @softpedropascal​ for being a constant source of comfort and light for me in this fandom. I know sometimes it’s a hard place to be, but I hope you know you’re loved. Thank you.

I also want to give a shout-out to @heartsofbeskar​

Jasmine and I bonded very quickly over her Farmer!Din and to say that I’m obsessed is an understatement. I had no desire to be anywhere near a farm but now I very consistently fantasize about baking pies and birthing horses with lorge farmer man and his little boy daily. That very quickly lead to me devouring the rest of her masterlist AND GUYS- do not miss out. Lakeshore is still a fic I return to when I’m feeling needy for Francisco Morales and her Din Djarin writing is just...ooof, it’s phenomenal. 

Jasmine is also gracious and kind and warm and anytime I get to drift into her orbit, even slightly, I’m a happy little Cat. Thank you, Jasmine for sharing your cool, nerdy, fun, bad ass scientist self with us! Happy Holidays!

[nako-doodles]

pick 5 people that make your fandom experience wholesome and write a small paragraph about each one of them 💖

this ask is so stanking cute? buckle in im going to be talking for a very long time 🤣🤣🤣 *taps mic* lessgetit

@cafejoon tate the sun to my moon the stars of my sky the vampire gf of my dreams, where do i even start? im so incredibly grateful that however many moons and however many suns ago we discovered we practically have the same bday, and further discovered our red string of fate via baby shark. its been just an honor and a joy knowing you and talking to you and just being your moon and basking your solar brilliance. heres to another couple millennia together darling. 🥰🥰🥰

@stargazingjin rebecca the jk to my jin the funniest dorkiest person i know the other half of my chaos braincell the most talented photographer E V E R i love you 🥺🥺🥺 youre always so down-to-earth and the bright spot in my days of thunderclouds and lightning (very literal lately) and the hot chocolate on my sleepless nights. cant wait to be the most embarrassing duo at the airport with you darling 🥰💖✨

@jincentvangogh vero the reason why i dont need to go to the gym to get abs i love you 🥺🥺🥺 thank you for indoctrinating me into all of the hip anime and for basically curating your tiktok foryoupage to be for the two of us. our daily min yoongi kim namjoon christian yu nanami kento induced mental breakdowns is honestly what keeps my skin clear. its an honor to be a thirsty hoe with you love 🤣✨😉

@mintagust reka your the flying buttresses to my gothic cathedral the min yoongi of bangtan. thank you for always being so supportive and loving and funny and for always sending me msgs 🥺🥺🥺 they make logging onto this hellsite so worth it i love you so so so much. its an incredible honor to see your artwork and gifs i hope you always send them my way 🥰💖✨

@thatredwine erl! thank you for always sending me the cutest funniest asks and tagging me in the bestest jin content on this hellsite. im not sure what i did to deserve such a fantastic person to bring so much joy and serotonin in my life, but i am grateful everyday for your presence. i hope whatever is stressing you out has been banished from the mortal plane 😌🥰💖

@yoongisbengaliwife t youre just such a bright spot in this fandom im sure im not the only one absolutely in love w you. you bring so much joy on your blog it always kinda feels like a beach vacay every time i got on tbh. ur eid selfies yesterday were so cute i literally turned into heart eyes emoji. thank you for being so supportive and iconic 🥺🥺🥺

@taemaknae nicole youre just so creative and talented with all your edits and mbs and icons and headers it always blows me away. i can always tell who is using your headers and icons bc of your style which is like. super sexy of you 😳😳😳 i love reading your tags and it truly blows me away that your my moot??? like in what universe?????? anyways thank you for sticking up for me and being so iconic 🥲😎🥰

@jinbestboy ugh em you improved my tumblr experience at least a hundredfold by establishing the jinie moot club tbh. thank you for being so funny and loving and jincredible in the tags i love love love reading through them. im sorry i havent been able to keep up w the posts but as soon as im not a zombie im coming back just you wait....just you wait........🤣🥰💖

@luvsjoon cat when i tell you i go on your blog at least once a day to cleanse my vibes and get some serotonin pumping......i read your blog like the morning paper. youre such a happy and bright and sweet presence on my dash.e thank you for being you im a life long fan of you tbh ✨💖🥰

@gimbapchefs nat how do you literally write the funniest captions and come up w the most hilarious gif comps like????? *shakes empty cap* spare funny bones pls. anyways youre such a cool person i look up to you a lot. thank you for blessing us plebes with your iconique self and i cant wait to see what other beauties you make 😳✨💖

@jung-koook sky ill be honest w you. im still shook your my moot and like?? talk to me??? the day you followed back i literally almost accidentally unfollowed you bc i was too busy freaking out. i am in love w you and your content and how quickly and gorgeously you pump out a+ content. youre one of the reasons why i love being on this hellsite thank you for being a pillar of this fandom 🥰💖✨

@koolabjamun aahana darling youre so incredible. you have such a big heart and are central to so many world-changing community bonding things here. im literally always so fucking in awe of you and proud to be your moot. keep being such an iconic human ill try my best to support you ✨💖✨

@seoksjin ellie i kid you not if those hp moving pics were a thing irl, i would print every single one of your gifs out and hang them on the walls. every time you gif jin i ascend to the 7th dimension i astral project to alpha centauri i literally melt into a non-newtonian solid. thank you for being such a jintegral part of being a jin stan🥺😳🥰

@blondesuga melissa if i could marry your giffing style i would. your coloring on your gifs are so fantastic im just permanently shedding heart shaped tears when i see your content. anyways ill be permanently moving to your seokjin boyfriend gifs this has been my written advance notice 😳😋🤣

@taejinnies anj im very much in love with your sexy fifth dimension unable to be perceived by mere mortals galaxy brain. your content is so unique and beautiful and funny and iconic i just. god. im literally one ill adviced chaosing away from getting down on one knee tbh ✨💍✨

@rosebowl sharika hello its me the girl who is very much in love w you. your 100 days of jin is partially why im just barely hanging onto my sanity and also constantly on this hellsite. i love seeing you in my notes and on my dash its such an honor being your moot thank you for being loving and iconic 🥺🥰✨

@jihopes jules youre just such a warming loving iconic talented cornerstone of this fandom thank you for tagging me in your tag games and being so funny and iconic and casually one of the most talented people i know mwah 💖😳😎

and lastly: thank you to everyone following this chaotic mess of blog and interacting w me even tho im shy and get flustered easily 🥺🥺🥺 seeing you on my dash and in my activity honestly makes all of tumblrs flaws and malfunctions worth it i love you ✨✨

[extant-exhaustion]

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

I have decided to curse the world this hellsite with my fandom Hot Takes™. So, let's start off with a bang:

[spoiler]'s reincarnation in Hunter x Hunter was a bad choice both narratively and thematically.

Everything you read below is my opinion. You don’t have to agree by any means, and I definitely welcome friendly discourse!

Kite's reincarnation in Hunter x Hunter was a bad choice both narratively and thematically.

So...yeah. Here's the thing, using HxH and Yu Yu Hakusho as evidence (and I'm sure I'll expand on this in another post), it seems that Yoshihiro Togashi has real trouble killing off prominent "good guys." He takes frequent advantage of the deus ex machina, the rebirth, the second chance at life for whatever-the-heck-reason.

And sure, sometimes that's fine. Sometimes it makes sense and is essential to the plot. Yusuke dies in episode 1 of YYH, but it's essential to his entire story that he comes back to life. (Other reincarnations in that series don’t feel nearly as valid, but that’s for another post.) And then we have HxH and Kite...

Kite's death in the Chimera Ant Arc is so integral to Gon and Killua's stories. It is a shocking and brutal reminder of the dangers of their chosen profession and the uncaring reality of nature. As a Hunter, Kite spent a significant amount of time around dangerous beasts and in precarious terrain. He knew and was prepared for the risks when the exploration team set out to discover what was happening with the chimera ants. And he made it clear that he didn't think Gon and Killua were ready for what they might face.

As a character, Kite is very important to Gon's growth, both as someone he looks up to and as a close connection to his father. And thus, Kite's death is catastrophic to Gon's psyche. He goes straight into the denial stage of grief and stays there through the month between Kite's death and when they see his reanimated corpse after its recovery by Knuckle and Shoot (et al.).

He then remains in that denial through the invasion plan and the subsequent battles with the chimera ant royal guards, etc. Rather than accepting death as a part of life (even when it comes about so cruelly), Gon keeps searching for an out, a way to "fix" Kite and thus assuage his guilt and heal his own pain after losing someone dear to him (especially in a way that directly related to his and Killua's presence in the moment of Pitou's attack).

Now, we have to remember that Gon is thirteen. So his grief process is understandably jumbled. His reaction to Kite's death—including his disbelief and denial—is more than legitimate. And his catastrophic breakdown that results from having to move jarringly from denial to acceptance—and smashing right into the wall that is rage—makes perfect sense for his narrative. It's a masterfully written arc and Togashi builds Gon's character so much within those chapters.

But here's where I have an issue—and it’s a given that this is common in shonen manga, but I’m going to focus particularly on Togashi’s writing.

The problem is with how he addresses death in both of his popular manga, which is that...he doesn't. He just…doesn’t. As a writer, he chooses to bring "good" characters back from the dead over and over again, and often with no narrative purpose. I'll make a post about how this relates to YYH sometime, but for now, let's focus on Kite.

Bringing Kite back from the dead, albeit in a reincarnated, not-quite-him way, was a bad choice narratively and thematically.

Gon's (and Killua's) growth in the CAA hinged very integrally on losing Kite. It was important that Kite was dead. Actually, literally, in every sense of the word, dead. Because that death was what led to Gon facing a litany of horrible, mature, adult emotions and situations that brought him face to face with the fact that life is rarely smooth sailing from start to finish, and the life of a Hunter is particularly dangerous. He had to grow because of that loss and would have continued to in the aftermath of his fight with Pitou.

But by bringing Kite back, by reincarnating him in a strange little ant body, Togashi brushes all of that growth right out the door. Yes, Gon will still have learned a lesson about how throwing everything away in a moment of rage and pain isn't the answer. But the growth that he and Killua went through because of their role in Kite's death? Gone. Nada. Zilch.

Bringing Kite back takes the pain of his death and tosses it out the window. Like, "Oh, well, he's alive again in some form, at least! So, we weren't really responsible for something fatal and disastrous, because it turned out okay in the end!" It takes the grief process and cuts it off at the knees, preventing Gon in particular from having to further explore his emotions and maturity in the face of his own and others’ mortality.

So where is the lesson? What is Gon supposed to take away from Kite dying—arguably in part because he and Killua were there? If Kite is back with no concrete consequences and measurable grief, what was the point? Narratively, it leaves audiences confused. Because Gon's development in the CAA was almost fully due to Kite's death, and the impermanence of that death distorts that development. It removes the lodestone from Gon's personal arc. If Kite isn't dead, the narrative tangles.

And thematically? Sigh. Just...the potential that Kite's death had to be an incredibly transformative moment in both Gon's and Killua's lives...it's completely trashed by reincarnating him. The deus ex machina of that "fix" leaves the themes of the CAA in a complete wreck. Because it meant something that Kite died. It meant something that two teenagers had to face death and cope with it and come out the other side to figure out who they were after experiencing something so brutal.

The CAA is one of the darker arcs I've seen in a shonen manga/anime, and the themes (up until Kite's reincarnation) were extraordinary——the brutality of nature; the nature of brutality; the line between humanity and savagery; the purpose of revenge or retribution; the lasting effects of grief and shared trauma; the depths of despair that lead back to brutality so cleanly...

Instead, Togashi swept those potential lessons away. And while I'm not saying he couldn't still reflect on it in some meaningful way (if HxH ever comes off hiatus...), as a reader/viewer, I have to say that this was one of the more disappointing moments in the series.

[annab-nana]

2020...

You were probably the worst and best year of my life for several different reasons.

Worst because you took away my normal college experience. Worst because mentally, you haven’t been kind. Worst because you have taken several people who have meant a lot to me and many others. Worst because people I’ve thought of as good friends don’t speak to me anymore or turned out to not be who I thought they were.

Best because for some reason being stuck in quarantine brought my best friend and I a whole lot closer. Best because I found new hobbies that I love. Best because I’ve grown a lot as a person. Best because I’ve grown a lot on here and made writings that people have enjoyed. Best because I have impacted others in a positive way and helped people. Best because I have felt the happiest I have ever felt and the most love I have experienced as well. Best because I have made many new friends that mean the world to me and I just wanted to say a small thank you to all of these people.

@rebelemilu • Emily, I remember months ago when I reblogged an edit of yours and you kinda geeked out that I did that. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and it was shocking to me that someone who didn’t even know me loved me and my stuff. Then later in July when I first ever showed my face to this hellsite, I inspired you to do the same and I got to see your beautiful face and smile and I was so happy that I was able to do that for you. You have always been so kind and supportive of me and I will forever be grateful to you for that. Now I get to talk to you almost everyday and you send me the best gifs of our favorite men and I couldn’t be happier. You are an amazing friend Em and I love you so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.

@x-lulu • Lulu, this past month or so has been amazing! You are one of the strongest, sweetest, and most supportive people I know! Like you said, you feel like you can come to me with anything but that is how I feel about you. You have a soft warm safe presence about you that makes me feel comfortable and appreciated when I talk to you. Loneliness is my biggest struggle and I hate talking about it with anyone because it feels stupid when I say it but with you, I feel like I could discuss that with you without any judgement. Now that I know you I don’t think I could be without you. You’re just so wonderful and I wish everyone could have a lu as a friend. I don’t know what I’d do without my aesthetic queen that I love so much.

@https-luna • Luna, you are my luna bug! What else can I say? I love you so much and we’ve only really talked for the past twoish weeks but I feel like we will be friends for a long time. You are so incredibly smart and I love each and every one of your random fun facts. That makes my days so much better with your sweet personality. I feel like we’ve grown a lot closer these last few days and I wouldn’t change that for the world. You are a talented writer and I love getting to see that first hand. My love for you will never die, luna bug.

@sguymon21 • Sara, I honestly don’t remember how our friendship started. I want to say it was because we started talking when I was reading your story, All Of My Wrongs, because I fell in love with it and then we just started talking. And then we exchanged Instagrams and then Snapchats and we’ve talked for a while honestly. You are such an amazing writer and a sweet and kind soul as well and I know that at times that people haven’t been that kind to you but I promise you are so much more than what people say. You are gorgeous love and your heart is even prettier.

@samcolbylife666 • Zach, I know this is probably weird considering we haven’t talked in several months but I still wanted to thank you. You were the first person I ever really talked to on here and I hope you’re doing well. I remember the random things we’d discuss right before all hell broke loose with corona. I was literally talking to you when I had to pack to leave my dorm for our “two week” break and I was excited that our spring break had been lengthened. I’m pretty sure your plans to go to Disneyland for canceled due to everything but I hope you still get to go soon. I don’t know if you still get on here but I’d love to talk to you again.

@xgingerblue19x • Ella, my love from the other side of the world haha I love you so much. Our journey started the night Sam broke his back. I was lowkey freaking out about it and you were there to calm me down and you sent me updates about it too. It was nice to have someone to talk to when I was super anxious about someone I look up to and care deeply about. Then a few weeks later, we all lost someone really important to us, Corey, and once again, you were there. You talked with me and I am not one to easily open up to others especially when I’m upset but with you, I felt safe and you made it easy. Since then, we don’t talk super often but we can always pick up where we left off and it feels normal and not awkward at all and I love that about our friendship. You are someone I know that I can lean on and I hope you know I’m here for you as well sweetheart.

@socialanxiety-queen • Becca, I love you so much! We were both scared to reach out to each other and anxious about making new friends but I’m glad that we started to message each other and play a little game of twenty questions. Even though we don’t talk that often, I will always love and support you and I know that I can talk to you about whatever I need to. Your heart is so pure and it is a beautiful thing inside a beautiful person. You make me so happy and I love how you remember the little things about a person and make them feel so loved and appreciated and I hope you feel as loved and appreciated as you make others feel.

@toriswrites • Tori, you are such a cute little bean and I love you! We started talking right before I combined blogs on maybanksbaby and you were the one who helped me gain the courage to finally combine my blogs after I had been thinking about it for a loooooong time. I don’t think you know how grateful I am for that because it was the best decision I’ve ever made and I couldn’t have done it without you and your encouragement. So thank you for talking to me through that because I probably would’ve never done it or I would’ve pushed it off for a while if I hadn’t brought it up to you.

@heaven-with-mark • Babe, I honestly have no idea where our friendship started. I think it was you posted something and I came to check on you and then we just started talking. And then we talked almost every day all day for like a month. We’d be going crazy as we stayed up late. You’d show me all your pets and tell me their adorable and unique names which I loved. We’d talk about several random ideas and we’d talk about our problems too. I know we haven’t talked that much recently but I really miss you and I hope you are doing well.

@lonely-xplr • Bree, you are someone I’ve always looked up to. Ever since I started writing on this app and joined this fandom, I’ve looked up to you. You are so smart and so nice to talk to. I know that if I ever need someone to talk to, I can go to you. You always seem to send me something nice right when I need it and I am so grateful for that and you. I love you so much and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

@fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @demxters • Liv, Nat, and Elle, I love you all so much! You are so kind and super supportive and I thank you guys for that. Y’all are so cute too and your friendships have made me so happy.

@reinad-snc @goddess-of-time-and-magic @reddesertcolbs @xplrtrash @sarcasmhadachild @colbylover99 @cartiercolby @ygsucks @starrybrock • to my @traphousedaily babies and Kayla, you all made me feel welcome in this Sam and Colby tumblr fandom family. When I joined this group of wonderful people, I felt like I wasn’t alone and just posting my fics. I felt like I apart of something greater and I made great friends because of it. Each of you are so incredibly sweet and amazing people and I am so happy that I have gotten the chance to meet you all and become friends with you too.

@itsnotgray @ilguna @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @xplrvibes @golbrocklovely @golbrockstar @turnupbrock @socialwriter @mrsmaybankhere @spilledtee @bricksatlandyswindow @dmonchld @killingbxys @nxsmss @mxltifandoms06 @uwubonebabie @rafej-cambanks @drewstarkeysbitchh @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @cognacdelights @tovvaa @moniamaybank @themaddies-obx @cuddlycolby @xplrsworld @makebank @rafeyybabyy • there are so many more but there is a tag limit to each post so I’ll probably comment to add some more but each of you have made my 2020 better. Some on small ways and others in bigger ones but each of you have brought me happiness and made me smile more so for that, thank you.

So after that reflection, I have realized that 2020 may not have been the greatest year of our lives but at least for me, the great points outweigh the bad ones tremendously. Here’s to 2021 :)

[leqclerc]

What a year (derogatory.) It’s been long and difficult and frustrating and not what we had in mind when the clock struck midnight a year ago I’m sure. Wishing you all a happier, brighter, less lonely 2021. 🙏🏻✨💕

I’ve been out of this fandom for about two years. When we went into lockdown (the first time around) I didn’t know what to do with myself. On a whim, I got back into Formula 1 (it was always somewhere in the back of my mind but I hadn’t given it my full attention for a while), first by catching up on DTS, and then by tuning into the races around June. Finally, I tentatively re-joined the fandom in early August. At first I felt kind of lost - there were so many new urls, icons, new posts; hell, the fandom had a name now (f1blr) which was new. I didn’t really have any expectations, I just wanted to feel a little less lonely, a little less hopeless. I never could’ve anticipated what would happen in the next five months. 

I got back into editing and giffing and interacting in fandom and everything that comes with that. I met so many wonderful, talented, kind people, a lot of whom I consider genuine friends. I’ve been welcomed back with open arms. I got to be a part of something bigger than myself, experience the epic highs and lows of Sebchal as teammates, and feel a real sense of purpose and community for the first time in this cursed year. I know it sounds stupid, but every note on a gifset, every @ mention, every tag under my edits, every time someone hits like under one of my long drawn-out essays, every anonymous (and non-anon) ask in my inbox...It all means so much to me. My follower count shot up from 600-something to an astonishing 983. I still can’t really believe it, but I’m grateful for each and every one of you. You inspire me and motivate me and bring me so much joy. Thank you💕 

First, I want to collectively thank the @dailyf1 crew and the soup chat (y’all know who you are) for being wonderful. 🥰 Thank you to all the content creators and artists and fic writers that have shared their creations throughout the year. I also want to give a shoutout to some of the people on here that have made an impact on me; those who’ve helped make this dark year a little bit brighter. Also full disclosure my memory is awful, so if I miss anyone, that’s on me and my forgetfulness! I’m sorry! 

@j-button formerly known as jnny-g: Oh, Fir. You’re my everything and more: the Seb to my Charles, the soup to my bread. It’s crazy to think that it all started with that one innocuous ask about football AU...And now here we are, months later, and you’ve become one of my closest, dearest friends. Thank you for indulging me almost every single day from 10am to 5am; thank you for all the ideas we’re shared, ranging from reasonable to self-indulgently unhinged; thank you for all the fics you’ve written and all the love and care you’ve poured into everything you’ve created; thank you for all the laughs and the endless encouragement. Most of all, thank you for being you, and thank you for being there. There’s a lot more I could say but I think you already know everything. I love you. 💕

@helmetswap: Give me your helmet and I’ll give you mine. ✨💕🙏🏻✌🏻 Lynn! Thank you for letting me yell at you about Sebchal and for yelling back. Thank you for all the worms we shared. Thank you for indulging Nora AU and making it the special little thing it’s blossomed into. You’re one of the sweetest, funniest, kindest, loveliest people I’ve met in this fandom and I’m lucky to call you a friend.

@totovolff: J, you’re one of the coolest people on this goddamn hellsite. An icon. You’re one of the first people I actually spoke to via DMs and I’ll never forget that. Thank you for your presence, your tireless defense of Val, and all of the amazing fics you’ve produced - especially Formula Student fic, your Sebchal portrayal lives in my head rent free and will continue to do so for many months to come. 

@scharletred: I know we haven’t spoken much but your presence is always felt on my dash. You’re one of the nicest, kindest, most positive people on here. You’re always ready to help out with a link or an opinion or a translation. Thank you for everything <3 

@formulabarbi: Again, one of the loveliest, most talented people I’ve had the pleasure to interact with! I love all your content, your tags, your enthusiasm. Thank you again for being so willing to help me out and make me a header, I love it 🥺🙏🏻

@redbulllracing: Elise, your talent and kindness is always felt on the dash! Thank you for welcoming me into DailyF1 and always being so willing to help out in any way. You’re a treasure and a huge inspiration <3 

@redpaint: I know we haven’t spoken much but Nat of redpaint fame, you’re an icon, a legend, one of the most important people in the unhinged little Sebchal community. Your fics and posts served as a Sebchal crash course for me when I got back into the fandom, and conflict resolution and see you falling live rent free in my mind. Thank you for writing the language of another world, easily one of my fave fics that I’ve read this year. Stay iconic <3

@pinsaroulettes: Fuck, Olivia, you’re in a league of your own with all your Charles edits. Your brain, your talent. Keep doing the lord’s work and spread that sweet, sweet Charles Leclerc propaganda. Always a delight to see your content on my dash. The fiercest of us all ✌🏻

@4mulaone @4xmulti21champion @alexanderalbon @callumilott @enemy-crush @f-uno @georgerussellls @goalkepa @hakkinens @jensons @marcusarmstrongs  @mclarenrenaissance @mclarenp3 @mhakkinen @mushroomseb @oscar-piastri @pitcrew @sebchal @sebestianvettel @sunshine-ricciardo @reynobody @ricciardos @verstappen

[mxndwitch]

I want to start this day and my little love project with the real MVPs of my little fandom corner, the people who are my ride or dies forever, who have been with me for YEARS in some cases and never fail to be anything other than utterly amazing

@facemypast

Bubs, you know how much I adore you, I am sure, because we’ve been going strong since 2018 I think, but I never want to miss an opportunity to tell you how wonderful you are! Our babies give me life and the world we have created for them is my favorite thing in the world. I love having you as a friend ooc and I am so proud of the hard working, smart and kind woman you have grown into in the last couple of years. Although med school makes me miss you daily, i couldn’t be more excited for you, because you’re living your dream. Keep reaching for the stars, my dearest ❤

@shieldedsouls

My other die hard love! You and Britt have been by my side since my reboot and I couldn’t imagine a rpg world without you in it. You babes give me life and I utterly adore every other muse aside from Bucky you write, because they’re all amazing ( especially Maria, the hermit xD ). You’re one of the kindest & most loyal people this hellsite has thrown at me and I couldn’t imagine my dash and my life without you in it. Thank you for being my friend ic and oc.

@loyaltyworn / @undauntic

Dixon, you wonderful & talented bean! Man, I remember very vividly how excited I was, when we started roleplaying on Carol, because you’re so effing talented and I loved her so much. And look at us now! Bucky is the light of Wanda’s life and I will forever stalk you on any blog you make, even the characters I don’t know, because it’s you and you’re stuck with me forever. Thank you for always having my back and being the most loyal friend one could have on this hellsite!

@outlawiism​

LUCY! Holy guacamole, what can I say? You are by far the kindest, most genuinely supportive person I have ever met on Tumblr. Your presence is a ray of pure sunshine on my dash every day and you never fail to reach out & support others, when you see they need it most. Not to mention that your Peter is flawless and the love you feel for him is absolutely infectious. I am so happy we have become such good friends with time and I’m never giving you back!

@danversiism​

I’m so grateful that Lucy and you are a package deal, because that made it possible for me to become friends with you as well, over how much we love Wessa. We have the worst book club ever, because it takes us ages to read :D but I still adore our talks about things we are passionate about. Not to mention that your Carol is the only one for me and I live for the friendships our characters have crafted for themselves. Daisy & Carol are the sass squad I never knew I needed in my life :D love you to pieces!

@soulstcne​

SHAUNA! My pure, kind hearted, chaotic butterfly! What can I say, other than that I love you 3000 and that will never change? I constantly forget Aisling isn’t actually canon in the MCU, because she fits so perfectly with us that it’s hard to remember she is an OC. Wanda’s best friend is the most adorable infinity stone anyone could have hoped for! I adore your passion about plots, your adhd brain that comes up with 20 ideas a day, your love and passion for Ais & the fact that you love angst just as much as me. You’re also the cutest person ever ooc and i can’t wait to talk to you on the phone again, even when you’re a confuzzled mess and hold up your laptop for half an hour :D I adore you!

@natshana​

Bubs! You’re one of my absolute oldest friends on Dumblr, bc you even come from ‘the world before’, aka the fandom that shall not be named, which I left because it was even more toxic than the MCU xD. You know that our babes give me life and I couldn’t ever imagine a better mama for Ella than Luna. But as much as I cherish all the ic interactions we have, I love our ooc friendship even more. The sleepless nights we have spent together, movie nights & rants - I am so grateful to have you as a friend for what? over 4-5 years now? Guess you’re not getting rid of me ever again.

@somewherebetweenrage​

My home office buddy! I remember when I first followed you over on River and had absolutely no clue about her at all, but I liked your kindness right away. And look at us now! We became fast friends ooc and I adore the worlds we have created for our characters. Laga and Erik are the ship I never knew I needed, until we started writing them and oof, they own my whole heart now. Can’t imagine my day without chatting to you now and although you haven’t been in my life for as long as some others on this list, you make up for it by being an utter delight!

@gcroinya​

The one true Nat to all my charas! I remember when we first started writing and I was in AWE at how talented you are and guess what, nothing has changed since then! Your writing is just so flawless, I have no idea why you even put up with me, but I love you so much for it haha. Ella and Nat are my favorite thing ever and I am the happiest person ever that you have returned from your hiatus, because my life was missing a bright light without you in it. 

@hebled​

Ah, my babe. You have no idea how incredibly happy it makes me that you have come back to tumblr and still love our babies as much as I do, because I missed you every day you were gone. Beck and Wanda own my whole heart and I am so grateful to have you as a friend ( and pen pal! ) outside of this hellsite as well. You’ll always be the better barista of the two of us :D but I’ll still love you forever!

[piraticalarchive]

I see a love fest and I just wanted to step in to say that I know we've never really talked but it's just nice seeing you around, like it feels like one of those "permanence" things that it was just super nice to find you still around when I returned with this blog. You're always friendly and your writing is engrossing. I obsessed over Killian and OUAT a...very long time ago now and I think you do a wonderful job with him--he's basically just yours at this point. Idk, I just like seeing all your stuff so thanks for being around and being cool *finger guns*

i have had this in my inbox for so long and I've been meaning to reply to it but I always stopped because I wanted to hang onto it for just a little bit longer. I can't remember what prompted said love fest or if anything did, but I do remember how it made me feel when I saw this message and I still feel it every time I read it. Vividly. Thankfully I can say we have talked a bit more since I received this but it's still not nearly enough - we definitely need to talk more ! The permanence thing made me laugh so hard because i honestly feel like i'm gonna be tied to this hellsite and this blog for so much longer. I know things can change at any point but somehow at some point who knows when .. writing killian (and killian specifically) became a coping mechanism or something, i don't even know. When the end comes - two things will remain on this earth: cockroaches and me writing this dumb muse. Thank you so much for the compliment of my writing, it's so funny reading my stuff from way back when and seeing what it's grown into. I definitely have my wonderful writing partners over the years to thank for that - and those I still write with and even those i have yet to interact with who still grace my dash. You guys all inspire me to strive to keep developing it and trying new phrases and patterns and rhythms so it's fun to see how those subtle things slowly shape things into something completely new over the years. Also, I too obsessed over killian jones. I give the show a lot of flack but i obviously originally started in the ouat fandom so i did love him, i was just super sad with what he became. I would honestly write cs if i got the chance to do a spin on it and make it my own version of 'canon'. maybe one day, maybe .. we'll see lmao.

Anyways, enough about me. let's talk about you. i've read a lot of your stuff when it crosses the dash but i think the stuff i've seen most often are your things with ghost - and i love it. Your writing has a cadence that I really enjoy. I harbor a deep affection for people who break away from repeated words and kind of throw synonyms in there but are able to balance it so it's not just like heavy words that make no sense thrown around just as a means to say something different .. if that makes sense?? idk idk. Basically what i'm saying is, i highkey appreciate you and your stuff being on my dash. In addition to that you're always such a nice person and a wonderful presence on the dash. The few times we've talked you've been so kind and I don't think I was ever able to properly express how much it meant when you just popped in with an encouraging word while we were going through the diagnosis stuff with tank. Just a kind word of support can go so far and yours really did. You are truly a lovely and wonderful person. I think I saw a post the other day saying you were getting to go to a wedding you were afraid you were gonna have to miss?? I'm so pumped for you !! If you ever need anything, ever, please don't reach out. I know like 500 million corny jokes and I also know how to google for more so I'll never run out. I hope you have the best week ahead, mate !! Never forget how special you are and how much greater the world is having you on it.

[savage-rhi]

Pssssssst talk about some of your favorite mutuals, how you found them, What makes them special to you? Btw CONGRATULATIONS!!! 👍👍👍👍

Nonny, you opened up pandora’s box and there’s no fucking going back! Also THANK YOU! I got a long way to go, but knocking that dental test out of ze way was great! 👍

@argetlam007 I love their personality and charm and I admire the photo edits they’ve made of Death Stranding along with the awesome Higgs audio! Overall, cool person, great presence to have, and friendly AF! 

@chloe-3-price This sweet little turtle dove is a phenomenal fanfic writer! She helped give me pointers on some of my smut fics, and is one of the sweetest peeps this site has to offer. I love talking to her when I get the chance. She’s got an interesting life! 

@lucyfer-thorn Sweetheart, and offers great feedback. I love reading their reactions when I drop my fanfic updates. They are terrific to be around!

@mcbacondaddy A cool peep with a lot of sass and wit! I haven’t spoken much in a while, but their writing is so damn good. The details are insane. Like–how do you get to that?

@ruinerofcheese I love this little shit, okay? A great person, always seems to have a funny thing to contribute to a post. Every time I see them on the dash, I light up. 

@imagineleonkennedy I’ve known this babe for several years now, and though we haven’t talked in a while, I admire and send love their way. She was one of my first fanfic readers when I was writing a long Resident Evil story and she’s partially the catalyst for why I kept going and why I returned to writing drabbles and such. I don’t think I would have pursued writing like I did have it not been for her. 

@faegrifted Okay, this peep is still fresh to me, but so far their personality is fucking cute. Like I couldn’t ask for a better person to liven up a dashboard. They give really good feedback on my writing in the tags and I love their ideas they’ve sent my way. 

@ruvik-royal-sunflower A very strong person who I look up too. They got some great content on their blog, and I love the shit out of them for reblogging most of my drabbles. It goes for many people, but I get a lot from them. 

@disneymarina A little positivity sprite spirit that I love getting the chance to talk to when I’m not busy! She is very giving and selfless. 

@starivaille THIS, THIS ADORABLE LITTLE SHIT RIGHT HERE. THE ONE THAT COMES INTO MY HOUSE AND SLAM DUNKS ME WITH NEW IDEAS AND FEELS ON MY OWN DAMN FICS. THIS LITTLE BUTTON IS GRAND. Seriously, great artist, and a great writer. Check out their work! 

@troy-the-beastmaster Has the cutest little spaghets in the entire world (snakes!) and sends in awesome drabble requests! 

@chiralcrystallization Awesome Death Stranding blog, and an energetic peep that has thrown some great drabble ideas my way. Check em out! 

@crystaldwightsworld A Leon Kennedy fan and a Higgs Monaghan fan? Kills two birds with one stone in my book! Always has something cool on the dash! 

@nemodoren THIS MOTHER FUCKER RIGHT HERE IS A TALENTED ARTIST AND I FUCKING LOVE THEIR OC KHAIO HMMKAY? Please for the love of gods, check out their Death Stranding art! You won’t be disappointed! I’m in awe every time they whip something out. 

@dominionovershadows I love this gal because she’s been with my blog for years. One of the few rp people I have left on this hellsite. She’s got amazing ideas, and her writing material is stellar. I recommend approaching her if you ever want to rp! 

@thewriterandmuse A wonderful person with cool ideas. I love how laid back they are. 

@hismrsalbertwesker Another peep that has been on the bandwagon with me for some time. She’s a terrific person, and someone I look up to. Been through a lot, but she’s getting to the good. 

@yancy-trash I adore this peeps presence and think they have a lot of potential. I love their contributions to fandom things!

@fridgesama I don’t know if we are following each other? But either way, I like their content and think they’re a great individual! 

@partypede This peep sent me one of the first fanart pieces of my fanfic SOA and I love how flipping nice they are. 

Edit: Gonna give a shout out to @sadunacc for being a great supporter and for making my day with their comments!

Honest to gods, there are way too many people to list. I hope no one feels excluded and left out, that’s never my intention but realistically I can’t list everybody in one go. 

I have something nice to say about everyone I follow. It’s great knowing all of you, and I hope this makes anyone reading this feel welcome to get on the bandwagon and have some fun with us all 💙