#barry and fuches let each other go

[maverickcalf]

k, o, p for hte fandom asks

K -Say something nice about someone in any of your fandoms

@snovyda has a lot of passion for the character of benji and i always enjoy all of her insights into not only benthan but other movies as well. :D

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

Uhhh i guess Take me away by Fefe Debson, I guess this most reminds me the most of Ilsa. Not so much a ship just more like her wants?

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas)

Barry HBO crossover with Jack Reacher 2012. So like an au where Barry and Jack knew each other before Barry went to Afghanistan. And while Jack makes sure Barry gets jail time, he notices that someone keeps trying to pull some strings to get him out. So after a while Jack Reacher decides to let him go to see what this person wants. But it becomes harder as Barry drops off the grid. Because that's what Fuches wants.

Anyway the only other plot point i have is Barry very much is aware of Jack and that's why he is extra stubborn about not killing a marine. I also think Barry would leave to LA sooner.

This idea was drawn from the end of Jack Reacher and I dunno they had similar vibes. Sorry for rambling, I just thought of it this week and had to get it out.

[the-one-where-casey-watches-tv]

Barry episode 4.08 "Wow"

Bill Hader in "Wow". Image courtesy of IMDb.

There is really no better word to describe this show than unique. Which might sound like I’m sugarcoating a less than positive reception, but this time I mean unique in the very best way. I often say, in writing and in life, that it’s a good thing when there’s nothing else like you in the world. If someone’s already done what you want to do exactly the way you want to do it, then what’s left for you to do?

Barry is so itself. I generally categorize tv into either a drama or a comedy and don’t really break it down any more than that, but Barry forces the issue of nuance. It’s a true dramedy in the way it combines short form narrative with a gritty action/thriller plot to tell a story that is, at its core, a deeply ironic commentary on the entertainment industry. It’s not haha funny, but the juxtaposition of the hit man/Chechen mob world with that of Hollywood highlights the senselessness and silliness of each. And the way the series wraps up really hits the nail on the head of these comedic themes told through a dramatic lens. I said “wow” out loud as the final credits began to roll, and then couldn’t hold back a smile as I learned that was the title of the episode.

This is one of those shows that has a very different feel by the end, and I think it’s because rather than people changing, we learn with more and more certainty who they have been all along. I had a friend watch this show all the way through for the first time recently, which was a fun journey to see unfold because I’ve been watching Barry from the beginning. She fell in love with it at first but was given some pause when Barry killed Janice Moss.

It felt different from his other killings, less justifiable. I remember feeling the same way when I first saw it, but as the show progresses, we realize this event isn’t an outlier, but rather our first glimpse into who he is and always has been. So much of the show is catalyzed by Janice’s death because it isn’t a moral gray area. It was wrong. But how do people handle right and wrong and justice when a coveted acting role is on the line? Or a lot of money? Or love? Or the flex of having a boyfriend and looking like you have your life together?

After avoiding an attempt on his life and escaping from prison, some deep flash forwards in season 4 find Barry living an intensely strange and religious life in the middle of nowhere with Sally and their young son John. Their house looks like it’s in the middle of open desert, much like where a young Barry once first met Fuches. Barry and Sally’s son doesn’t even know their real names. It’s pretty bleak, but Barry seems deeply deluded while Sally and John are miserable.

At this point, we’re not even pretending that Barry is somewhat sane. In no way is he the good guy, or even the anti-hero of this story. He’s deeply childlike, his entire moral compass being driven by the father figure he’s latched on to- we’ve watched it shift from Fuches to Gene Cousineau after a phase of teen-like rebellion, and when he was rejected by both of them, we watched him spiral, absolutely lost with no sense of direction. It seems that after this he couldn’t make sense of the world without turning to the ultimate father figure- God.

The thing about God is you can put words into His mouth, and he can’t dispute them. We’ve seen his pious life with Sally and John but this episode especially had a very darkly religious underbelly as Barry returned to LA to kill Gene, listening all the while to a Christian radio station debating the ethics of murder.

When Sally and John are kidnapped by Noho Hank as a ploy to deliver Barry to Fuches (more on all of them in a minute), Fuches is deeply moved by Barry’s son. In an abrupt but sincere change of heart, he lets Barry, Sally, and John all go. In the previous episode, in one of the best depictions I’ve ever seen of a character ‘deciding’ to do something, she had tried unsuccessfully to give up Barry and turn herself in. The thought of continuing to live as they had been, with no end in sight, was unfathomable to her. That night, after escaping Noho Hank and Fuches, Sally urges Barry to turn himself in. Barry’s takeaway, though, is that he has been spared and redeemed by God. He tells Sally she must just be tired, and, in the morning, they’ll get out of LA and clear their heads.

Anthony Carrigan in "Wow". Image courtesy of IMDb.

Unsurprisingly, Barry wakes up the next morning with Sally and John nowhere to be found. In a panic, he rushes to Gene’s house, convinced they’re there. Instead, he only finds Gene’s lawyer, who also encourages Barry to turn himself in as Gene as somehow twisted himself into looking responsible for this whole thing. Barry was never going to do that, but the interaction is cut short by Gene entering the room with a gun and shooting Barry in the chest. Barry looks down at his wound, up at Gene, and says a genuinely earnest “oh wow” before Gene puts another bullet between his eyes.

One of my favorite things about Barry is the very realistic use of speed and sound. This is the kind of moment we’d expect to have a lot of buildup, a highly emotional scene, but it’s very abrupt. It all happens fast- as fast as it would in life, without ample time to reflect. And this also drives home the point that Barry is just a very tragic pawn. He was a pawn to Fuches and Hank, and even to Sally and Gene, though in their case a poorly used one that led to their downfall. He was also a pawn to the narrative, as all the thematic takeaways really have to do with everyone else and how they used Barry, rather than Barry himself.

So let’s talk about these other guys. To me, by the end, there are two important throughlines to this story, both of which involve Barry but neither of which are about him. First, there’s Gene Cousineau and his addiction to attention. When the flash forwards begin, he’s been off the grid, but he emerges when he hears that a movie is being made about Barry and his killing of Janice. Janice’s father is still intently investigating the murder and his suspicions of Gene are confirmed when Barry (in a childlike apology) inadvertently confesses to having given Gene $250,000.

Jim Moss is smart. Gene receives a call from an agent wanting to talk to Gene about someone playing him in the movie about Barry. He doesn’t want to hear it, that is until the agent admits that the actor is Daniel Day Lewis, wanting to come out of retirement to play Gene Cousineau. Gene’s tune changes on a dime. He agrees to meet with the agent, where he overindulges in his self-importance and clandestine admissions that he was like a father to Barry, that Barry is misunderstood and would have listened to anything Gene had to say. He even went so far as to try to humanize him so that Mark Wahlberg- up for the part of Barry- wouldn’t feel bad about playing a cop killer. The incident he is supposedly outraged over, that ruined his life, is actually not so bad if he’s going to be credited in its star-studded dramatization.

Charles Parnell, Robert Wisdom, and Gary Kraus in "Wow'. Image courtesy of IMDb.

Gene and the agent hurry back to the office to meet with Mark, where we learn that the ‘agent’ was an actor hired by Jim Moss, who now believes Gene to be complicit in Janice’s murder, if Barry loved him so much and was such a ‘sympathetic soul’. Gene’s dug himself a hole he can’t dig himself out of, which brings us to the moment Barry arrives at his house looking for Sally and John. Barry is the only one who could clear Gene’s name, but Gene kills him before he gets the chance.

In another decade’s long flash forward, John, now in his late teens, amicably parts ways with Sally. He goes home with a friend and steels himself to watch the movie that really did get made about Barry, Gene, and everything that happened. The movie ends with on-screen text revealing that Gene is serving life in prison for the murders of both Janice and Barry, while Barry is buried in Arlington memorial cemetery with honors.

Again, it’s not ha-ha funny, but it’s a grimly comical look at the extent to which Hollywood will twist tragedy for the spotlight, even to its own detriment. It’s a satire in which all of these bleak characters are the punchline. But what really gives this theme heart, is Noho Hank. The character who started out as the comic relief for this series ends up being the real emotional gut punch. It’s hard to sympathize with Gene, who brought all this on himself with his sleazy personality, but Hank was endearing and his love for Cristobal was real.

Hank and Cristobal were both the comedic and emotional light to this show in the last couple seasons. They were both fun and funny, and they were so entrenched in the violent realm of this story that their violence was more normalized than Barry’s- it was more reminiscent of an action comedy than a poignant ethical dilemma. You can’t help but root for them, especially as they embark on something as silly and harmless as selling sand.

But Hank didn’t want to settle for selling sand. He wanted a life with Cristobal, but he wanted that life to be an empire. So he made some plans behind Cristobal’s back, killing their partners in the sand venture and shaking hands with people Cristobal would never have agreed to. When Cristobal finds out, Hank begs him to get on board, knowing what will happen if he doesn’t. But Cristobal insists on walking out, promptly to get shot dead before he can reach his car.

Hank mourns this, but gets back to work, even partnering with Fuches to build his empire. But when Fuches toasts to Hank, and his willingness to sacrifice Cristobal to make this happen, Hank snaps. Hank refuses to admit to sacrificing Cristobal, and in fact, their deal is off for Fuches having even suggested it. The two quickly end up in a violent feud, trying to kill each other as everything else in this season progresses. Eventually, though, it’s clear that Hank is no match for Fuches, leading to his abduction of Sally and John. This was his white flag to Fuches, if he would come over to Hank’s compound he will use Barry’s family to lure Barry there and deliver him to Fuches.

This is where Fuches has his first human moment of maybe his entire life. He looks at John and admits to Hank that he is a bad person who does bad things- and he is ready to put all the weapons down if Hank will just admit the same thing. If he will say out loud that he is responsible for Cristobal’s death, they can put this all behind them. Hank and Fuches both have a small army with them, and the crowd is silent as Hank thinks and tears well up in his eyes. But he can’t do it. He can’t admit to himself what he and everyone in the room already know to be true. He opens fire, and everyone follows suit. Everyone dies, save for Fuches, Sally, and John.

Anthony Carrigan in "Wow". Image courtesy of IMDb.

Hank has his final moments sitting at the feet of a statue of Cristobal. Blood drips from his mouth as something in another plane makes him gasp and whimper in fear. His hand shoots up and grasps Cristobal’s bronze fingers. And then he dies.

I honestly don’t even have any guesses as to what he saw, but I think the takeaway is that it wasn’t good. To me, this is the real heart and heartbreak of Barry. The real consequences of denial, of being power-hungry, of refusing to take accountability. It adds stakes and emotion to Gene Cousineau’s silly little tale of the same pitfalls. I watch Gene and Sally and the whole Hollywood scene, and think “wow, entertainment really is like that. Our world today really is like that”. Then I watch the Shakespearean tragedy that is Hank’s story and think “wow that is so sad”. Together, they make Barry an on-point reflection of our society, and a cautionary tale of the consequences of all those traits. And it really just made me say wow.

Did you say wow? What do you make of Gene’s killing Barry, or of Sally letting him in to the extent that she did? Did the ending hit for you or were the flash forwards too much? Let me know!

[berkmansimagines]

Renegade

Summary: Barry opens up to you after a rough hit.

Pairing: Barry Berkman x hitman!girlfriend reader

It’s late in the night and you have just arrived at Barry's apartment building. Your boyfriend asked you to come over after his hit. You two were texting throughout the day until he left for the job. He stopped responding after that. You’ve called and texted a few times to no avail, but you’re not concerned. You assume that Barry had accidentally left his phone on Do Not Disturb.

As you walk towards your boyfriend’s apartment, you see his car parked in its designated spot. He has to be home. When you reach Barry’s front door, it appears that no lights are on inside. You raise your eyebrows. Something seems off.

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

You wait for a moment. No answer. Then you tap on one of his windows. Still nothing. 

Now you’re worried...

You reach into your purse, pulling out a little lock pick. You easily unlock Barry’s door and open it as quietly as possible. 

The apartment is pitch black. You cautiously walk inside. After taking a few steps, you put your hand on the closest wall and blindly search for the light switch.

CREAK

“Barry?” you call out your boyfriend’s name just as you find the switch.

The light suddenly flicks on and the first thing you see is Barry standing at the other side of the room, with his gun pointed at you. 

Barry’s eyes widen. He immediately drops the weapon to his side.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” Barry breathes.

He looks completely exhausted, jagged and weak. There is a large bruise forming underneath his left eye. 

“Oh my God, Barry! What happened to your face?” you rush towards him.

Barry shakes his head, ignoring your question.

“What are you doing here? I could’ve shot you.”

“You asked me to come over after your hit,” you remind him.

“So you broke into my place?” Barry asks.

“I knocked but you didn’t answer,” you explain, “I was worried about you. And it’s not my fault that your place is like super easy to break into.”

“That still doesn’t give you the right to do it,” Barry argues.

“I know. I’m sorry,” you apologize, “I was just worried-”

“Yeah, you said that,” Barry impatiently replies.

You sigh, putting your hands up in defeat. 

“Ok, Barry, you win. I know when I’m not wanted. I’m gonna leave.”

You’re about to walk out when Barry takes your hand.

“Wait!”

You turn to face Barry. His facial expression softens. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out. I just wasn’t…. I forgot that I invited you over. Please don’t go. I want you to stay,” your boyfriend tries. 

There’s a quiet desperation in the tone of his voice. He actually really doesn’t want to be alone right now.

You take a deep breath and lightly squeeze his hand. You’re not going anywhere. 

“Can you tell me what happened?” you nod to his black eye. 

“One of my targets tried to fight back and knock me out. It didn’t work,” Barry shyly explains.

You give him a confused look.

“One of your targets? How many did you have?” you question him.

“I think there were like five dudes in the stash house,” Barry says quietly.

Your jaw drops.

“Barry, that’s not a hit. That’s a raid.”

He knows you’re right. When Barry first heard about the job from Fuches, he thought it was crazy and possibly suicidal.

“I didn’t want any part of it. Fuches put it together with the Chechens… I couldn’t really say no,” Barry shrugs.

The Chechens wanted Barry to take out a small Bolivian stash house, killing everyone inside. They plan on taking it over.

Barry had no idea how many people would be in the stash house when he raided it. He considers himself lucky that the Bolivians didn’t have any more men there. He can’t believe he made it out in one piece.

“This was Fuches’ idea?” you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. 

And then- 

“Why didn’t you say anything to me? You just acted like it was a routine hit.”

Barry looks down at his feet, “I, uh, I don’t know.”

You gently rest your hands on Barry’s shoulders, keeping him close. 

“Hey, look at me,” you try.

Barry reluctantly looks up.

“Are you okay?” 

Barry is quiet for a beat. He doesn’t remember the last time somebody asked him that question. He stares into your eyes, you look genuinely concerned. You care about him.

“Yeah, uh, I just really hate what I do sometimes. I don’t like hurting people and I don’t want to die doing this. I don’t want this to be all that I am,” your boyfriend confides.

“I understand. I don’t want to keep doing this for the rest of my life either,” you quietly agree. 

You’ve never admitted the truth out loud before. You exhale, as if you're taking a weight off your chest. 

The two of you share a moment of comfortable silence, before you break it-

“We can’t lie to each other like we do with everyone else. If this relationship is going to work, we need to be honest.”

Barry nods his head. He understands. 

You pull Barry into a protective hug. He hugs you back tightly. He doesn’t want to let you go. You kiss his cheek, then rest your forehead on his.

“I’m really glad you came over tonight,” Barry tells you.

“I’m really glad you didn’t shoot me,” you tease.

“How about I get you a key to my place?” Barry offers, “That way, you won’t have to break in next time.”

You smile, “I like that idea.”

[nellie-elizabeth]

Barry: crazytimeshitshow (3x05)

Oh my god... that kid at the end...

Cons:

We saw a brief glance of Fuches continuing on his quest to turn the families of people Barry has killed against him. Since we have the story of the mother and the son, further Fuches material in this vein seems kind of unnecessary? It's not bad, it just doesn't seem to add an awful lot.

We also see that an FBI agent has shown up to try and help solve Moss's murder. Again, I don't have a huge problem with this, but spending time with these characters is far less interesting to me than everything else that's on the table, so I was always hoping we'd switch back to one of the more pivotal characters soon.

Pros:

Gene Cousineau is such a bizarre character, in the best way. He's recognizable, right? The guy who was an entitled jackass, who regrets it later in life, in Gene's case after a traumatic experience... but his regret isn't actually enough on its own to solve anything, and that's the inherent tragedy here. I loved the dinner scene with Joe Mantegna. So random, so funny and also bittersweet. Gene is forced to confront the fact that making amends isn't a foolproof enterprise. Barry gave him a bunch of cash and said he'd leave him alone, which is honestly the only form of redemption available to him. For Gene, it's a little more complicated and he might not be able to earn forgiveness for all his past misdeeds.

Sally's show Joplin is abruptly cancelled by the streaming service it was on, because the algorithm says it wasn't getting the right eyeballs. This is sort of an exaggerated/accelerated version of what many creatives in this whole world actually have to deal with. It felt like an incisive and also darkly funny dig at Netflix most specifically. They're famous for making one or two seasons of something that everybody loves, but then cancelling it because they aren't getting as many fresh eyeballs on it as they need. Sally's abrupt shift from awaiting her superstar status to having all her dreams crushed was honestly gutting to watch, but the scene also had some good laughs.

Meanwhile, Barry goes to Cristobal and Noho Hank to ask for relationship advice. They both tell him to be more authentic with Sally. I loved Hader's acting in this scene especially, the chilling way he walks back his outburst at Sally, justifying it to himself in retrospect as no big deal so that he can be the victim. It's awful to watch people enact this harmful self-delusion. I've seen it in real life.

And then the Bolivians show up and kidnap Cristobal, while Hank hides in a closet! We see that the Chechen's compound has been raided, and Cristobal's wife who Hank doesn't know about shows up to avenge her father's death. I honestly root for Cristobal and Hank's weird bizarre romance so much? They're both bad people but their care for each other seems genuine and intense. I can't wait to see what happens from here.

For me the highlight of the episode is Sally and Barry's one scene together, where Barry comforts Sally about her show, and offers to psychologically torture the woman who cancelled it. Sally listens as Barry talks about breaking into this woman's house and taking pictures of her while she sleeps. The thing that's sort of brilliant about this show is that for one moment as Sally was listening to all the wild shit Barry was saying, I wondered if she'd open her mouth and say "okay, let's do it." Not that I actually thought the show was going to turn Sally into Barry's accomplice or something, but there was this vibe of like... Barry is opening up to Sally about his life, as he was advised to do. How is Sally going to respond? The show works on all these different levels because of course Sally reacted with fear and disgust and told Barry to get the hell away from her. Once it happens, it's the only possible thing that could have happened. That's good TV.

We end the episode with the mother and son who want revenge on Barry for killing their family member. The mother accidentally shoots her son in the stomach as they're planning their revenge. It's such a shocking, unexpected moment, with Barry standing at the end of the street having no idea that his life was just in danger, and this horrible family tragedy happening completely without Barry's knowledge.

And that's that! Man, this show always takes me places where I just have no idea where we go from here. Sally's show being cancelled, Barry and Sally's breakup, Cristobal being kidnapped... everything is happening so quickly!

9/10

[fandomtransmandom]

2020 Wrapped:

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5-8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

Okay, so as you know, ya boi is verbose af, so apologies, but I could only whittle it down to a top 10 (and one honorable mention.) I like to think my work has improved with time, so the older ones may be a bit rough, but here are my favs from 2020 and why (from most recent to oldest.)  

1.) Southern Comfort-Bill Hader, Teddy Redbones (Doc Now)/OFC

Synopsis: Teddy Redbones viciously despises his political opponent Savannah Harrison...by day. At night, the two tear into each other madly, hiding their secret affair from the world and their feelings from one another.

Why I Love: Honestly when @martymcdie88mph sent me a request that just asked for ‘Teddy Redbones laying down pipe’ I never expected the first fic about him to get the response it did, much less for it to lead to two more requests. It’s provided me with immeasurable laughter and I’m so glad there are others out there down to bone this angry southern dom.

2.) Frozen Dreams-Conan O’Brien/OFC

Synopsis: Receiving bad news while on their Christmas vacation at the height of ‘The Tonight Show’ upset, Conan deals with his grief, assisted by his partner, Molly.

Why I Love: Writing some Conan super angst was so cathartic and beautiful. Thank you @stunninconan for making this request and giving me the opportunity to do so. Just want to cherish our ginger smokeshow and let him know how deeply he’s loved.

3.) Flickering Beauty-Bill Hader, Little Vivvy (Doc Now)/Partners of Multiple Genders

Synopsis: Little Vivvy is away from her family, and her wealth, for the first time in 1970’s New York. As she tries to make it as a dancer, Vivvy undergoes the early stages of her transition and stumbles upon the accepting Ball scene, as well as some struggles of being a trans woman trying to live an authentic life.

Why I Love: I wrote this piece for NaNoWriMo 2020 and I knew going into it I would largely be composing it for myself. Beforehand I considered doing something that might draw in more readers, Reddie perhaps, but I'm so glad I went with my heart because this story is incredibly meaningful to me and I will love Vivvy until the end of my days.

4.) Breathe Me-Bill Hader, Barry/OFC

Synopsis: Barry is back in Cleveland after his discharge, working for Fuches, deeply depressed and feeling hopeless. After running into his childhood friend Annie, he discovers she’s doing sex work and offers to help her financially. But Annie refuses, saying there’s only one way she’ll accept payment from Barry.

Why I Love: One of many ideas I’ve worked on this year with @martymcdie88mph, though arguably our best. I received a lot of positive feedback on this piece that made me feel good about myself, and I simply love the dynamic between these two hurting characters.

5.) Lost and Found-Bill Hader, Reddie

Synopsis: When Richie loses the engagement ring he bought for Eddie, he panics, searching everywhere but finding nothing. Coming across the ring while cleaning, Eddie devises a plan to surprise Richie.

Why I Love: This one was based on a prompt from @halefirewarrior and I just think it’s cute and sweet. And it’s resulted in a dozen or so strangers on the internet telling me to ‘shut the fuck up,’ which is always amusing.

6.) Harmonious Monsters-Bill Hader, Vince Blight/OFC

Synopsis: Sociopathic power couple Vince and Stacy Blight live a hedonistic, extravagant existence based on kinky sex and a mutual disregard for humanity. As their ten year anniversary approaches, Vince reflects on the saga of their relationship.

Why I Love: Pretty sure this one appeals just to me, ha. I had a ball writing it. Getting into the heads of these characters was ridiculously fun and smut-wise it includes some of my favorite things.

7.) In The Midnight Hour-Bill Hader RPF, Priest AU

Synopsis: When Father Bill Hader sees a struggling trans man named Troy attending the weekly free meal offered by the church, he discovers Troy is homeless, offering him a place to stay in the basement. As they get to know one another, Troy tempts Bill and tests his faith in ways he never thought possible.

Why I Love: Writing this one for @phantomofthegallifreyanopera was cathartic for me. As a queer trans man who was trapped in a fundamental Christian community for a time, it felt like sweet vengeance to be able to flex my Biblical Studies degree for the sake of gay p*rn (trust me, it’s completely useless otherwise) and it was fun to see Father Bill teased into sin 😈

8.) Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger-Bill Hader, The Alan (SNL)/OFC

Synopsis: When Lily comes home to find The Alan on her doorstep, she can’t imagine why her friend got her such a silly, extravagant gift. That is, until she discovers the Adult Expansion Pack.

Why I Love: I was nervous about publishing this one and almost didn’t. I truly didn’t think y’all would be on board. But thank fuck everyone in this fandom is kinky as shit and this became one of the fics for which I get praised the most. I loved writing it and I’m so here for cranking out more weird shit all day every day.

9.) If The World Was Ending-Bill Hader, Barry/OFC

Synopsis: Barry knows that tomorrow he is likely to die, the Chechens seeking vengeance for the massacre at the monastery. For his last night, he wants nothing more than to spend it with Valerie. The problem: Valerie and Barry broke up months before when she discovered his true profession. Barry begs Valerie to see him, and for one final time, he finds solace in her arms.

Why I Love: When @erdankely gave me their concept for this request, I was unreasonably excited. So damn cool. And I just sobbed while I wrote it. Such a sl*t for Barry super angst any day of the week. Love this one and I’m pretty proud of how it turned out, actually.

10.) Miles Apart Inside-Bill Hader, Robbie Wheadlan (Doc Now)/OFC

Synopsis: While he’s awaiting trial for murder, Robbie Wheadlan and his lover Abbi reflect on the saga of their relationship.

Why I Love: Not only was this a piece that made me fall hardcore in love with a murderer who was on screen for maybe 15 minutes and has no redeemable attributes, but it strengthened my friendship with @stunninconan and for that I am grateful.

Honorable Mention: Later That Night- Conan O’Brien/OFC

Synopsis: Conan meets author Gwendolyn who comes on his show to promote her book.

Why I Love: This is the first fic I published back in July. I’m sure I would cringe like crazy if I tried to read it now at all the edits it needs, but I’m so, so happy I decided to post it and kept writing and sharing. Without this almost 48k monster about my orange pompadoured beloved and all the kind feedback from everyone, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Thank you all!

And I spend my days doing nothing other than hammering out alphabet p*rn of my own, so I apologize that I don't know who to tag to keep this going because I shamefully never take time to read. But feel free to do your own if you have creations you would like to share!i

[hermywolf]

ranking my favorite characters about random shit part 2

ranking my favorite characters (clarke griffin, dean winchester, fox mulder, rose tyler, newt, kaz brekker, samwise gamgee, charles xavier, bill denbrough, lord asriel, steve rogers, scott mccall, anna milton and barry berkman) about random shit. this is entirely self-indulgent

PART 2 : how many allies do they have/how powerful are their allies. basically how screwed they’d be if they had to rely on their allies to survive

1- DEAN WINCHESTER

yeah believe it or not im putting him before charles or steve. listen, listen; dean just. does this thing. in which he’ll get pretty much anyone on his side after like two conversations. ESPECIALLY incredibly powerful supernatural creatures. i mean he’s got sam, aka the second best hunter on earth, and jack, literally GOD, on his side; then obviously the dean winchester simp squad, castiel, a seraph and commander of garrisons who can get heaven to fight for him; benny, a vampire; crowley, a powerful crossroad demon and the king of hell; amara, literally THE DARKNESS HERSELF, god’s SISTER; and then there’s just SO many others who will fight for him for diverse reasons, rowena, eileen, claire, jody, donna, kaia, mary, anna, gabriel, DEATH HIMSELF was his bitch before billie, then ketch charlie kevin, he’s just got so many allies and so many are some of the most powerful creatures in the universe. i mean, jack, amara and gabriel alone are three of the most powerful beings who have ever existed, as well as billie and the other archangels but all of them are dead, and chuck but he’s also dead and even he would be on dean’s side since dean is his favorite and if it’s an actual life-threatening situation chuck would want the show to keep going. so yeah dean winchester’s got the biggest defense squad imaginable and honestly? good for him, he deserves it

2- CHARLES XAVIER

do i even have to say it? outside of his ability to. you know. literally control minds, he’s also a leader who inspires loyalty and trust, and he’s got all the x-men fighting for him, including jean and logan - and even if we’re being honest some of the brotherhood, i mean especially in the first class timeline, erik and raven would absolutely be on his side. he’s got some of the most powerful mutants of all time ready to fight for his life

3- STEVE ROGERS

I mean he’s the leader of the avengers, man. have you seen the avengers assemble scene? they were fighting against thanos there but don’t try to tell me all of them wouldn’t fight for him. he’s got the falcon, black widow and the winter soldier on his side as well as the SCARLET WITCH, CAPTAIN MARVEL, THOR, do i need to keep going. he’s got a huge reputation and everyone knows and trusts him. and as we can also see in all his movies he inspires loyalty and devotion easily so even with people he doesn’t know he can get himself a loyal army in one well-delivered speech à la captain america

4- KAZ BREKKER

while most of the people on this list (steve, scott, charles, dean, bill, newt, anna) are born leaders who inspire trust and loyalty, kaz is just. really good at blackmail and insanely smart and cruel. and he’s got an insanely scary reputation too. he’s got the crows on his side no matter what, so an amazing spy, the best sharpshooter in ketterdam, a grisha who survived parem, an ex-drüskelle, and a demolition expert; as well as now the entirety of the dregs and inej’s crew, probably. plus, he most likely has leverage on the entirety of ketterdam and more. if he got in real trouble he could probably dig out the years and years of blackmail he got stacked away and get himself allyships with anyone he wants. plus his allies are ruthless, diverse and all strategically selected

5- SCOTT MCCALL

he’s got his entire pack ready to jump to help him anytime. and really when you think about it his pack is so big and diverse, there’s all kinds of creatures/skills ready to help him, plus he’s a true alpha, any werewolf would jump to his aid. I mean let’s look at his pack, stiles, allison, lydia, derek, malia, isaac, kira, hayden, mason, corey, and then of course stilinski, deaton, melissa, chris and peter, i mean even theo... he’s got a huge pack who is extremely loyal to him and they’re all kinds of creatures too, he’s fine

6- ROSE TYLER

everyone loves rose SO much. like obviously the doctor will give his life for her without hesitation but we also got jack, mickey, jackie, and even a bunch of people she met for like a couple episodes like donna or sarah jane immediately loved her. so i think she’s ultimately got some pretty solid allies especially with her father’s wealth and torchwood’s support in the alternate reality

7- CLARKE GRIFFIN

im putting her pretty down because on one hand he’s got very powerful/devoted allies on her side, like bellamy, lexa, roan, nyilah, finn, wells, etc (the key of getting your allies to be entirely devoted and loyal to you is to make at least half of them fall in love with you OR to top them so good they’ll literally put their lives down for you because of how good it was and clarke got that down to an art) BUT they’re also like. all dead. like almost all the people i just listed are dead so. yeah she’s kinda on her own in the end but if we look at early seasons clarke before literally all of them got murdered she had skaikru, azgeda and trikru pretty much in her pocket, so three of the biggest/most technically advanced armies on EARTH ready to fight for her.

8- LORD ASRIEL

now he doesn’t have actual allies per say but he can manage to get pretty much anyone on his side through charisma, threats and promises, so he ends up steadily getting massive support from witches, angels and many others in the books. he can pretty easily get himself a bunch of followers at his side ready to die for his cause.

9-SAMWISE GAMGEE

now listen he does have a pretty solid bunch of allies, aka the entire fellowship, who they, themselves, have a bunch of allies, who have a bunch of allies. i mean homeboi’s got ARAGORN and LEGOLAS and GANDALF on his side all ready to jump to save the tiny hobbits anytime so he’ll be fine.

10- BILL DENBROUGH

he’s immediately got the losers on his side, which is a win because they’re stubborn and annoying enough that they defeated an alien demonic clown. plus they’re quite literally assembled by a divinity to destroy a demon, so they’re the perfect team to kick ass and they’ll risk their lives for each other. plus he’s got a fanbase! people read his books and watch his movies. meaning he’s probably got a pretty big part of stan twt ready to help?? idk man i just think he’ll be fine when it comes to allies

11- NEWT

he’s got the entire glade ready to jump to his aid pretty much at any time, i mean let’s be honest if there’s one person all the gladers would agree on defending it would be.. ok it would be chuck bc he’s a CHILD but otherwise it’d be newt. plus he’s alby’s second in command and even gally likes him and respects him more than he likes and respects most people, which isnt much but hey kudos for the effort. anywho yeah the entire glade would defend him i think

12- ANNA MILTON

she would’ve once had the entirety of heaven at her commands ready to smite anyone who comes close to her but now that she fell and rebelled they all want her dead so. i mean i wish i could say cas would help her but after he betrayed her im not so sure? and the winchesters well idk either, maybe, maybe not, depends whether or not the entire trying-to-kill-sam ordeal happened. gabriel might help her? idk where to put her because i don’t KNOW if cas, dean, gabriel or the angels would help her but if any of them did then even one of these is a pretty solid backup so. idk man

13- FOX MULDER

im only on season 4 but as far as i can see he’s got only scully. which is pretty solid backup, she can kick ass, but still. i guess it’s one of the downsides of everyone thinking you’re batshit insane and having the entire government out to get you because they all LOATHE YOUR GUTS SO MUCH

14- BARRY BERKMAN

I mean dude. he pretty much kills all his friends. like he could ask for chris’s help but umm well he killed him, if he’s in a bad situation oh great he’s got a friend at the police except NO he murdered her. what’s that? fuches? no barry’s literally trying to murder him as of now. sally wouldn’t help him at all. cousineau just found out barry murdered his gf. at MOST he can hope that noho hank will help but i mean he’s not much help tbh i love the guy but he’s kinda useless<3

[ficstogo]

“Kiss on the back” with Barry Berkman please? 🥺🥺🥺

“Jesus Christ...” You whisper under your breath as you see the state of Barry’s back. He only hunched over with eyes closed shut feeling your delicate fingers trace his back lightly. It gave him shivers when your nails grazed his spine. “And super glue was what he comes up with?”

“Honestly, I’m starting to wonder if Fuches has always been this big of an idiot this whole time.” With the supplies needed on the night stand, you go on to clean his back of all the dried blood and try to get as much super glue out of Barry’s wound as you can. You warn him how it might hurt as you try to pick at the super glue that actually made it in his wound. Barry flinches but doesn’t make a sound. You can feel his muscles flex underneath you and each time he does do you rub his back and send small apologies his way.

Once the glue is, for the majority, gone, you go ahead and wipe him down with alcohol and proceed to properly fix him up. You had a frown on your face the whole time hating the thought of Barry getting hurt and being disregarded in his time of need. 

“Alright, you’re all set.” You say as you lightly scratch his back to which soothes Barry in a drowsy state with his head in his hand as he is still slouched over.

“Hmm, thanks...” You both don’t say anything else. You just continue to sooth him with your touches as he hums in appreciation. 

“I hate seeing you come home like this...” You lay your chin between his shoulder blades as your arms lazily wrap around his midsection. 

“I know, but this life’s end is coming close. I just...” Barry pauses as he too thinks of how much he hates all of this. “I’m just ready to leave this all behind. Finally live life the way I want to and be able to take you out and have all my time for you without fear dangling over my head...”

You just kiss his back knowing full well on what he means. “We’re close, Barry. You’ll be able to do whatever you want...” You then go in for another kiss but this time nearby his wound. “And I don’t ever have to see you in pain unless it’s you breaking a leg...”

He chuckles and smiles at that and you smile at having hear it. “Come on, let’s just go to bed. You need to rest.”

Barry nods and stands to take off his pants while you go and turn of the lamp next to you. You both lie down facing each other, looking deep into one another’s eyes. “You don’t deserve to be put through this. You need a good guy who’s got a regular life that won’t put you on somebody’s hit list.”

You place your hand on Barry’s cheek. “You’re the good guy I need Barry and what fun would it be to date some regular guy? Besides, from the things you tell me, everyone around you sounds like they’re complete fucking idiots.” You giggle out.

Barry only smiles as it was comforting to know that you feel that way. With his arm on your waist, he pulls himself towards you and presses his lips on yours for the last time that night.

[spellbound-banshee]

Insomnia - Barry Berkman Blurb

Summary: You call Barry with a case on insomnia.

Warnings: fluff, insomnia, self deprecation, swearing, platonic relationship

Pairing: Barry Berkman x Reader

A/N: I just finished the entire show of Barry in one week and I already love Bill Hader so I just HAD to write this.

“You can call me whenever you want.” “Is this okay?” “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Barry groaned as he heard his cell-phone ring just as his head hit the pillow. He’d just gotten back from another dispute with Fuches, icing his hand on the way back in the car as he sped away from his hotel. He was definitely about to hang up on whoever was calling him at this ungodly hour, but he saw a number that wasn’t already in his contacts - but it was the same area code.

“Hello?” He greeted with caution after he pressed the accept button, sitting up in the bed slightly.

“Hey, is this Barry?” Came a soft yet scratchy voice over the phone, he could tell he recognized it though.

“Uh... can I ask who’s speaking?”

“Shit, sorry. This is uh... (Y/n) from class. I hope I got the right number.” He smiled at the mention of your name, though he was curious how you got his number in the first place.

“Oh, (Y/n)... uh, hi.” Suddenly his throat was dry and all words left his brain, feeling himself becoming flustered.

“Hey uh... this is awkward I really don’t know why I called.” You didn’t know Barry that well and you got his number from Sally since they work in a lot of scenes together. You didn’t have anyone else to call. “Sorry to call you so late at night.”

“That’s okay.” Barry replied, rubbing his eyes slightly, wanting to talk to you but his body attempting to refuse. “What’s up, are you okay?” He asked, sitting up further in his bed and propping himself up on his elbow.

“Yeah I mean... I’m just...” You wanted to change the subject, but your brain was so sleep-deprived, you could barely form other words. “I can’t sleep, I guess.” You admitted and turned over to see your clock - it was three in the morning and you just called someone you barely knew. Suddenly filled with regret and slight shame, you began to ramble. “But I mean... I don’t know why I called you it’s so early and you should probably get some sleep so I’m sorry for-”

“Hey, (Y/n). Don’t worry about it. I’ve had my bouts with insomnia to.” He tried to soothe you, suddenly feeling like he’s known you for twenty years, and he felt the need to console you. “You can call me whenever you want.” You couldn’t help but smile at his reassurance, the first almost stranger you call is nicer than anyone in your contacts.

“Thanks, Barry. I really appreciate that.”

“So, what’s on your mind? Just can’t sleep or is something going on?” You could cry at how concerned he already was for you. But you couldn’t find yourself getting so easily attached, especially because not much good can come from late night phone calls.

“I guess I’m just... yeah I can’t sleep and...” You hesitated before answering honestly - the worst thing that could happen is things are a bit awkward between you and Barry in class the next day. “...my partner and I, we broke up like a week ago and it’s hard having to adjust to that loneliness.”

Barry sat up, “shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that.” You held onto that brief comfort you felt just from the sound of his voice. It was silent over the line for a couple of seconds before he asked, “do you need someone to be with right now? Like in person?”

You weren’t sure you could read his intentions right as you barely knew the guy, but you figured he was nice and trustworthy enough just based on observing him in class. Also, you were literally desperate to even get 5 hours of sleep. “I don’t want to like... call you over at three in the morning-”

“I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He said, and you heard the line go dead as he hung up, obviously he was trying to sound cool and you giggled at the attempt. You put your phone down and rolled over in your bed, suddenly getting butterflies in your stomach. You barely knew this man, he could be a serial killer for all you knew - then again, serial killer company is better than no company at all.

You jumped a bit when you felt your phone vibrate again, and not hesitating, you picked it back up. “Hello?” You asked.

“Hey, I uh... I might need your address.”

-

It wasn’t long before you heard a knock at your front door, since you both stayed so close to the class it was a quick ride. You were expecting his arrival so you just kinda rushed to the door, swinging it open with a certain kind of energy that scared him. You noticed the jump and tried to laugh it off, as your entire body was tired but your mind was moving like a Ferarri.

“Sorry!” You blurted, noticing his obvious pajama bottoms, messed up hair and long sleeve t-shirt. He did literally just roll out of bed.

“It’s okay.” He sort of stood there awkwardly, and you felt all of your previous confidence leave your body in one hard punch.

“Do you uh... wanna come in?” You asked, rubbing the back of your neck and seeing that it was kinda cold outside, and you gestured to let him in.

“Yes, please.” He laughed, rubbing his arms jokingly as he stepped into your house, giving your living room a quick look-over. Your home was simple and cozy, just like you seemed to be, he didn’t know - guess he would have to get to know you first. “Should I take my shoes off or...?” He asked, already beginning to take his shoes off, noticing your lack thereof.

“Sure, you can just put them near the corner.” You waved it off, giving him a slight smile and walking towards the kitchen. “Do you want anything to drink?” You asked, grabbing two glasses out of your cabinet and placing them on the counter.

“Uh... can I have a glass of water, please?” You nodded, noticing he clearly hated asking for things but once he saw you gladly get it for him he relaxed his shoulders. “So, how do you feel now? Any better?” He asked, standing there awkwardly and rubbing his forearms. 

“Not really, I mean it’s only been like 10 minutes.” You laughed, grabbing some water bottles out of the closet and pouring into the glass with ice. “It happens a lot, lately I just haven’t been able to sleep, you know with Ryan... and everything.” You handed him the glass of water and he gladly took it.

“Thank you.” He tried to relax, but you looked even more beautiful than he remembered, and he felt himself becoming more nervous around you. “So...”

“So.” You confirmed, taking a sip of your water and trying to alleviate the awkward situation. “Do you want to... go upstairs? We can like... watch a movie and talk until eventually... possibly one of us falls asleep.” He smiled, his heart skipping a beat as he couldn’t read your intentions as well as he thought, but he felt himself being more and more drawn to you.

He hesitated a bit, taking a small sip of his glass. “Yeah, sure that would be... that would be cool.” He was determined to stay up for you, possibly help you fall asleep if he could help it.

After a couple of minutes of flipping around on the TV, you found something light you could both settle on. He sat on your bed kind of far away from you, not knowing what to do, even though he’s normally not this awkward. “I don’t bite.” You teased, patting the bed beside you and he smiled, scooting a bit closer to you. “You’re good with this movie right?”

“Of course. As long as you are.” He smiled down at you, deciding to come a little closer, your shoulders were touching at this point. Not that it was anything remotely romantic or scandalous, especially since you would probably get to know each other until one of you fell asleep - it would probably end up being him. “So, why did you want to take Mr. Cousineau’s class?” He asked, breaking the ice and shifting against your comfortable bed.

“It started off as something to do I guess. I’ve never been very good with like... being on stage or confrontation in general. So I just wanted to get better at being sociable and I thought a theatre community would do that for me. And it has, I’ve met a lot of great people. But I don’t really want to be an actress, y’know?” He just smiled at you the entire time you were talking, and he discovered that he loved to listen to you voice - there was something so soothing about it and the way you talked so passionately. “What about you?”

When you turned your head toward him, he turned his own gaze away, pretending he was staring at the TV the whole time. “I don’t know, I was just drawn to it and I was bored of my old job. It seemed like it would be cool but I’ll admit it really freaked me out at first.” He chuckled, looking down at his thumbs and picking at the skin around his fingernails. You took notice to it, and put your hand over his, detaching his left hand from his right and prevented further cuts.

He found himself flinching lightly at the contact, put he didn’t pull away, he just felt a sense of gratefulness fill his chest as someone actually took notice to it. “Sorry, I just... I do the same thing.” You revealed, showing the skin uplifted on your dried skin, and he just sort of smiled at your hands, gently rubbing the skin of your thumb with his own. “What was your old job?” You asked, pulling your hands away with a slight blush tinting your cheeks.

“Auto-parts.” He said, hoping you would lose interest, but your face resembled confusion and interest. “Fix things, y’know... deliveries and stuff.” You smiled at the way he gestured with his hands, but he took notice and put his hands back down. “Did you uh... have a job before? Or do you?”

“I’m a bartender actually, you actually don’t need that much training to be one in LA and I decided it would be kinda fun. Except for some of the creeps that come in just to stare at me, y’know?” He laughed and grimaced at the same time, and noticed that you rubbed your eyes.

“There you go! See, a symptom of being tired.”

“Yeah, yeah. Keep talking about your old job I might fall asleep.” You teased, shoving his shoulder lightly and he just smiled at you, rolling his eyes. “Thanks for coming over.” You said after a brief moment of silence, and you both made eye contact as he smiled at you. You could’ve sworn he looked at your lips briefly, but before you could react or question him he replied:

“Of course, anytime.” He nodded, smiling at you one more time before turning his attention back to the tv in front of your bed. You kept your attention on him for a bit longer, noticing the way the reflection from the TV danced in his blue eyes. You smiled, stretching out your legs a bit and rolling your neck, and he noticed from your slumped shoulders and droopy eyes that your body was begging for sleep. He noticed your body moving to the side a bit while your attention was on the TV, so he moved his shoulder a bit to catch your head.

You were surprised at the sudden contact, but when you nuzzled against it he decided to wrap his arm around your shoulder. You could tell he was stiff and hesitant, “Is this okay?” He asks gently as you move a bit closer to get comfortable.

“Yeah...” You soothed, nuzzling closer on his shoulder and bringing your legs closer to your chest. “Yeah, this is okay.” At your words, you felt his body relax, and he found himself leaning into you as well, placing his head gently on top of yours. “This is okay...” You felt your mind wandering, drifting in and out of wanting to sleep and the stimulating thought of staying awake.

Barry reached a hand up and placed it on top of your head, letting his fingers stroke the locks gently, his other hand stroking your shoulder and playing with the fabric of your shirt. You shifted and smiled, closing your eyes and nuzzling just a bit closer into Barry’s chest. He felt his stomach flutter for a moment, and he continued his motions, attempting to keep his breathing calm and the rest of his body still as to not wake you.

The next thing you knew the sun was shining through the curtains, and you groaned gently as the beams penetrated your vision. “Fuck.” You mumbled, bringing a hand up to shield your eyes and rubbing the sleep from them. When you moved, you realized the weight on you, and you gasped as you saw Barry still above you, sleeping soundly.

Your shock wore off and you smiled as he shifted, nearly jolting up at the sound of your gasp. “What?” He mumbled, picking his head up, pain shooting through his neck as he groaned. “Are you okay?” His eyes were squinted as he also saw you forgot to close the curtains.

“I’m okay.” You confirmed, missing the warmth as Barry removed his arm from around your shoulder. “Hi-ya, stud.” You teased, shoving him gently as he stretched and smiled at your groggy uppity-ness. 

“Morning.” He mumbled, running his fingers through his bed-head which worked to mess it up even more. “Sleep good?” He asked, massaging his neck.

“Yeah, actually. First couple of hours in a while.” You nodded, getting up out of the bed to close the curtains more as you both adjusted to the light. “Thank you for staying, really. I can’t thank you enough.” You smiled, walking back over to the bed and flopping down on the mattress. “I owe you.”

“You don’t owe me.” He said, smiling down at your form. “Really, it was my pleasure. The company was nice.”

You nodded, biting your lip as you sat back up - your general tiredness was waring off but you still needed coffee in your system, and soon. “Come on, I’ll make you some coffee and we can get more acquainted, I want to know who slept in my house last night.” You joked, taking his hand and dragging him out to the living room - clearly he was not a morning person.

“So Barry, tell me about yourself.” You inquired after you put the coffee maker on, the hum of the bubbles adding to the limited background noise.

He smiled. “Where you do want me to start?”

-

[allforhader]

All He Wanted

Barry Berkman x (F) Reader

Requested by @designersophisticate

Warnings: Langauge, Injury

Part 1 | Part 2

He hates hospitals.

He told me he had Fuches? Was that his name? Patch him up every time he got hurt...

To avoid being admitted or something.

I...never really understood it for his predicament. I did for others. But he’s a hitman, that’s not written anywhere besides Fuches mind right? Right...?

I wish I didn’t wake up today...

A nightmare should stay away from reality.

Y/N patiently waited in the living room flipping through one of Barry’s scripts. Her phone started ringing and the number was unrecognizable, knowing her husband’s line of work, she didn’t know if she should trust it. But it could be anything, so flip a coin or take a Chance nonsense. She picked it up immediately answering and everything around her went dark.

“Is this Mrs. Berkman?”

“Y-Yes?”

“This is one of your husband’s doctor. He came into the ER with a GSW.”

“I-...Uh shit uh...which hospital?” Y/N asks as she quickly grabs her coat and keys on the way out of their home.

The silence became too real. Nothing was audible and everything was pure silence...

Y/N walks into the ER seeing the commotion happening and many different cliental flooding in and out of one specific trauma room. Her heart dropped and she felt sick. A nurse approached her carefully resting her hand on Y/N’s arm to catch her attention and the silence became loud screaming commotion.

“Who are you looking for?”

“I’m sorry..Uh Barry Berkman. My husband”

“Oh okay um ma’am I’m going to have to take you to the waiting room-“

“No. I’m going to see my husband-“

“Ma’am they are currently-“

“Shut up. He’s my husband and he’s fucking hurt. You don’t get to stand in my fucking way” Y/N snaps at the nurse before maneuvering around her and heading toward the trauma room.

“Barry, this is going to be painful” His doctor states prepping him for a chest tube as the resident puts up the scans pointing out the two bullets. “Shit. Get the pressuring dressing secured while I start. This is going to hurt sir so it’s appropriate to scream at this—moment” he makes the incision before shoving a tube in.

Once stepping in, the silence returned except for the excruciating hollers coming form Barry when they inserting a chest tube right in front of Y/N. The lead doctor on the case saw Y/N and immediately got angry at the nurse that let her in.

“Mrs. Berkman-“

“Wh-What—“ Barry tried to move but the pain in his chest was overwhelming and the resident was pushing a mild sedative to calm him down when Y/N took his hand into hers.

“Barry...I-I...I’m right here..” Y/N frowns feeling the tears start to build up in the corner of her eyes.

“Ma’am, we are going to take your husband into surgery”

“C...Can I just get a minute?”

“Ma’am he has a bullet in his chest and we need to do exploratory surgery very likely even heart surgery—he doesn’t have much-“

“P-Please..just” Barry interrupts watching his doctor order more morphine. “One minute”

“Prep the OR, and have the orderly on standby when their done” The doctor states before giving the two the room.

Barry squeezed her hand looking at her ball right in front of him. He hated it when she cries because it usually meant something around his doing.

When he told her he was a hitman

The time he had to leave for a few months

Countless times of him coming home injured

But now, he can die.

She’s allowed to cry.

“Baby...” Barry frowns trying his best to keep his attention on her even if the pain has its moments.

“B-Barry...you c-can’t die...you can’t” Y/N cries feeling Barry’s hand shake in hers. “Just...p-please”

“Y/N...Hm—“ He jolts a bit taking a deep breath. “I...had a hit..”

“Barry I don’t want to-“

“Please...just” Every time the pain kicked every chance it did, Barry squeezed her hand and Y/N didn’t have the words to respond anymore.

“...I can’t lose you”

“Y/N...I didn’t...m-mean for i-i-it to ba-backfire.....” His voice cracked as he tries to tell her what happened but honestly...it’s all white noise for the most part.

“Baby...p-please look at me” Barry frowns watching Y/N wipe away a few of the running tears before looking down at him. “If-...If I make it..”

“You have to...d-dont say if..”

“If..I make it...I promise...t-this h-hitman life” He felt her hold onto his hand like its the end of the world. “is over...I-I promise...”

Y/N was about to say something when she saw there orderly walk in ready to take him to the OR. She leans over to Barry’s ear telling him something which brought up a lot of emotions between them both. Y/N retracts herself from his side so they could take him and her face burned at that point from all the crying.

“I love you Barry...”

“I-..I love you so much” Barry states as he rolled away not seeing her in his sight.

When Barry arrived into the OR he watches his doctor approach the table.

“Doc...”

“Barry we are going to have you count back by 8-“

“I-I better make it”

“You will.”

Barry frowns looking up at the ceiling.

-Hour 1-

Y/N hated waiting. She fucking always hated it. She brought her knees to her chest hugging them, waiting...

He better make it. He better make it.

The repeating phrase in her head was interrupted when the person she called finally came.

Sally. The two got close when she was told that Sally was Barry’s acting partner. There was a history but when it ended, it didn’t interfere with their friendship.

“Sweetheart what happened?” Sally frowns hugging Y/N when she got up.

“He...” Y/N started to cry all over again. “He was mugged...” she had to lie since she’s the only one that knows what he really does.

“Oh hun...”

-Hour 2-

The nurse walks away from Y/N after informing that they needed to call in the on call cardio surgeon since the surgery became more complicated.

“He’s going to make it. He’ll make it” Sally reassures wrapping an arm around Y/N.

Y/N turns around finding the others from their acting class including Gene which made her give a look at Sally.

“What? They would’ve wanted to be here to support you through this. So I called them”

“Sally-“

“Y/N Sally told us”

“Honey I’m so sorry”

“Barry’s a strong guy he’ll make it”

“We’re here for you for everything”

They were all nice to Y/N when she waited, but the feeling of wanting to be alone became overwhelming. She sat down thinking to herself as those around her comforted her.

-Hour 4-

Gene sat beside Y/N as his students talked amongst each other of the multiple outcomes that may or may not happen. He looks over to see Y/N shaking in her seat from her anxiety. She wanted Barry.

“Come on” He assures getting up from his seat and Y/N follows him.

The two stood outside taking in the actual silence of the night and Y/N couldn’t take it.

“FOR FUCK SAKE” She yells off the top of her lungs kneeling down curling up feeling the dam break.

“Y/N...”

“He can’t die...he can’t die....I love him. He’s the...t-the love of my life...h-h-he can’t die” She cries hugging herself feeling Gene rest a hand on her back kneeling beside her.

“He’s not going to die. You can’t think with that mindset”

“B-But h-h-he got shot...t-then it involved his heart? He can die-“

“Y/N. He’s been through a lot. I know you know that. He’s fought a lot of battles. Not to be literal with that but it’s true. He’s going to be fine. He has you waiting. He wouldn’t leave you behind like this. He loves you too much. Trust me”

“H-He...”

“Barry loves you with all his being Y/N. He literally doesn’t shut up about you. He loves you. You love him. He’ll pull through. You two’s story doesn’t end here” Gene states and Y/N felt better slightly but still needed a moment.

Once Y/N walks back inside with Gene following shortly behind. He advises everyone to go home to leave Y/N alone for the remainder of time waiting for the next update. And of course. They listened.

Soon a nurse led Y/N to Barry’s ICU room where he’ll be for the next couple of days. She stopped at the door looking at the wires and tubing attached and in her husband making her heartbeat faster than it should. His doctor walks in beside her to give her an update when he gave her a minute realizing she’s panicking internally at the sight leaving her body shaking.

“Mrs. Berkman...?”

“I-Uh yes...yes?”

“He made it through surgery. There was a tear in his aorta that occurred during surgery after the amount of stress his body endured. Our cardio surgeon repaired the tear and he’s stable. There wasn’t any other major injury besides what I’ve already said. Minor internal bleeding which was taken care of. He’ll be in the ICU until he’s off vent”

“C-Can I um...t-touch him...? Hold his hand...?”

“Carefully but yes” He reassures watching Y/N make her way beside Barry’s bed taking his hand carefully. “When he’s transferred into a patient room is when we can have a cot placed for you to sleep with him during the night. But for now-“

“Um. I know...I know what to do” Y/N frowns annoyed that he’s covering everything now when all she cares about is that.

He made it. He made it through.

...

A few days went by...

Y/N walks into the hospital after her shift, she hated having to go home to an empty bed and be in that personal silence for a while. But if it means Barry is recovering safely away from everything, then it’s fine.

As she makes her way to the ICU she found Barry’s room empty. Making her anxiety kick in.

“Um. Nurse?” Y/N walks over to the ICU nurse’s station catching the nurse’s attention. “Where’s Barry Berkman?”

“Ma’am he’s been moved”

Y/N started laughing nervously as her mind already started to wander. She pinches the back of her neck to personally bring her back.

“Um where?”

“Would you like me to escort you Mrs?”

“Yes...”

Following the nurse into the area where most patient rooms are set. Her anxiety settled seeing Barry’s doctor walk out of a room carrying a grin.

“Mrs. Berkman, just the person I was looking for”

Y/N gave him a confused look before walking over and seeing Barry sitting up in his hospital bed with no vent and the chest tube finally out. She walks in ignoring anything the doctor said carefully sitting on the side of his bed catching all of his attention. Barry started to cry when Y/N has been, he rests his hand on her thigh feeling hers rest on top of it.

“I-I wasn’t going to leave you alone...”

“Thank god you didn’t...”

Barry moves his hand reaching when he shouldn’t be as Y/N brought herself closer feeling his hand rest on her stomach. He couldn’t help but break down into more tears thinking he could’ve died and missed a whole other chapter in his life. Y/N moved his arm before carefully placing herself beside him in the bed resting her head on his shoulder.

“Are you going to keep your promise...?”

“I’m not missing anymore of my life with you, I’m keeping it” Barry rests his head against hers. “You and our future together is all I wanted. I’m not letting anything...interfere with that again”

[haderberkman]

What’re We Gonna Do Now

Barry Berkman X F Reader

Warnings: Language

Part 1

Requested by: @unlikelybeardsublime1212

The events that happened happened earlier today played through Y/N’s head as Barry drove down the highway. The man that Barry called Fuches chloroformed her then tied her up. She thought about how Barry pointed an actual fucking fun at her and the frightening look that plastered his face.

Barry had been driving for about two and a half hours when he stopped at a motel outside of town. The motel wasn’t a fancy one, but it wasn’t a run down one either. He looked over at Y/N and grabbed her hand which pulled her from her thoughts as she looked at him.

“I’m gonna go see if they have any rooms available. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, Barry.”

“Okay. You stay here, and I’ll be right back.”

Y/N watched Barry as he exited the car and made his way into the motel lobby. She looked around at the surroundings and noticed that there wasn’t much around. She saw a little gas station and a dollar store. She jumped when her door opened.

“Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.”

“I’m sorry. My nerves are just on end from everything that’s happened today.”

“Come on. I got us a room for tonight. We can sleep off today’s events.”

Barry stretches his hand out to Y/N, and she took it, getting out the car. Barry insisted that he would carry their things, handed the key to her, and told her the room number.

She opened the door to the room, and it wasn’t anything spectacular. The room wasn’t fancy, but at least, it looked clean. She walked in and helped Barry set their things down. She went and sat on the the edge of the bed and put her head in her hands. Barry walked over to her and sat down beside her, wrapping an arm around her back.

“Y/N, sweetheart. What’s wrong?”

“I-I...just...what’re we gonna do now?”

“Well, now, we’re gonna put on some comfortable clothes and sleep this horrible day away.”

“That’s not what I meant, Barry.”

Y/N gave Barry a glare, and he wrapped his around her tighter. He leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her head.

“What if the people you use to work find us and threaten to kill you if you don’t? What if I get taken and tied to another chair or worse?”

Y/N broke down into sobs, and Barry moved from the bed to kneel in front of her. He grabbed her hands and rested them on her thighs. He squeezed her hands and moved one of his hands to her face making her look at him.

“Hey, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. I love you Y/N, and I’m gonna keep you safe. I’m gonna get us away from here and people who could hurt us. I lost you once, and I’m not gonna lose you again. You’re the only person that matters to me. You’re my everything, Y/N.”

Y/N stood, pulling Barry up with her. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck. He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him. She pulled back slightly and connected their lips together.

When air became a necessity, they pulled back and smiled at each other. Y/N walked over to her suitcase and pulled out one of Barry’s shirts and a pair of sleep shorts. She walked into the en-suite bathroom and shit the door.

When she was finished changing, she walked out of the bathroom and saw that Barry had already changed into his sleeping attire. He pulled the covers and fixed the pillows. Y/N grabbed his hand and pulled him into bed with her. They both stared and laughed at each other.

They situated themselves in the bed and wrapped their arms around each other. Y/N snuggled her face into Barry’s chest as he pulled her tighter against him. She raised her head up and looked him in his eyes.

“I know you always say you’re gonna protect me, but I’m gonna protect you too. I love you so much, Barry, and I don’t want to lose you. You’re my entire world.

“I love you too, Y/N, so much.”

Barry leaned his head down and captured her lips into another kiss. He pulled away, and Y/N rested her head on his chest. Within minutes, she heard little snores come from Barry.

Y/N raised up slightly and looked at how peaceful he looked when he was sleeping. She didn’t know where their journey was leading them, but she knew she would everything in her power to keep Barry safe. He was the love of her life, and she wasn’t going to let anything happen to him.

[vorish-musing]

One Last Job (Part 2/2)

I wanted to get this out to you guys so badly, I worked non stop on it!

Warning #1: this has spoilers for the show Barry on HBO, this is your official spoiler warning. this show deals with graphic violence (the main character being a hitman) and if you are not okay with the talk of murder/death, do not read this fic. 

Warning #2: this story features soft, safe, unwilling vore, with this comes fearplay, digestion mention, fatal vore (mentioned but not graphic) if any of this isn’t your thing, feel free to not read, I won’t get mad :) there’s also a bit of cursing involved 

Without further ado, here’s part two!

“Help!” he yelled loudly, louder than Barry expected, making him grab his stomach, where hank was, and turn a bright red, luckily he was out of the house, and nobody was there to hear it. 

Hank quickly backed away from the stomach wall, feeling Barry's hand on the other side. His heart stopped for a few seconds. “Someone help me! Please!” 

Barry began to speed walk to his car, trying to draw the least amount of attention to himself. “Hank just please be quiet until we get into the car, then you can scream your lungs out” he mumbled to himself. 

Hank heard the words, but chose to ignore them, going back to flailing about, now turning his attention to Barry “Let me out!” 

Barry opened his car door, quickly getting in and letting out a deep sigh, hoping Hank would stop kicking soon, it didn't hurt, it was more of a nuisance. He turned to the dashboard, looking at his phone, then a lightbulb hit him. 

“Barry I swear to god if you don’t let me out all of my men will know about this” of course, hank had no idea how he was going to tell his men about this, but threats were threats.

“Yeah I get it, give me a moment.” Barry spoke, not intimidated at all by Hanks words, concentrating on turning his phone on, he went to his contacts and phoned the same number he called Fuches on before, putting it on speaker. 

Hank had a sinking feeling as Barry disregarded him, he had never seen Barry like this before, it was like it was a different person. Anger bubbled up inside of him, he realized that Barry wouldn’t care, but he cared, it was his life dammit!

A few rings passed, before Fuches answered “Barry?” the man sounded surprised to hear from him already, or maybe it was hearing from him at all.

“Here’s your proof.” Barry placed the phone at his stomach, a few gurgles we’re heard, before Hank made some noise so Fuches could listen in.

“Fuck you Barry! Fuck you! Let me out of here you fucking bastard!” 

Barry heard Fuches laugh maniacally on the other end of the phone, his gut twisting at the sound “Ha! How's it going in there Hank? Having fun, I presume?” 

“...Fuches?” Hank froze, making him pause his tirade dead in its tracks, remembering what Barry had said before “you can’t just let this happen, Barry ATE me! Do you really want someone to go that way?!” 

“Absolutely! I asked for it after all, surprised he even took the job!” every word that Fuches spoke drained any energy Hank had, it was hopeless “ Anyways, I now have a mafia to run, so enjoy your meal Barry!” and with that, the phone call disconnected. 

Hank was stunned, not even he would want someone to suffer like this. 

Well, they weren’t his men anymore, Fuches was taking over. 

Barry then turned off his phone again, letting out a sigh “Fuck!” he yelled, hitting his hands on the wheel,  laughing out of pure anxiety. “It fucking worked…. Hank? Hank listen to me I-” 

“You hated Fuches... Why would you let him do this, why would you do this for him?” hanks words were quieter, he was in shock, it was like everything hit him all at once. Its scared Barry how his demeanor changed dramatically

“Hank hear me out, I do hate him and you’re going to be fine, this was all for show. If you calm down I can explain, you aren’t going to be digested, and you aren’t going to die.” 

It took a few moments for Hank to register what Barry was saying, but one he had, the man was speechless, he couldn’t even understand what Barry was saying, “I...How?-” he didn’t know if this was a game, or if he was telling the truth

“Trust me, I don’t get it either, I can just...do this,” Barry turned a bright red, realizing that his answers wouldn’t help hank all that much “ Fuches wanted you dead, and wanted me to...do this… I decided to play along, I can’t let him run your men, he’d go ape-shit”

“Why...Why didn’t you tell me?” Hank yelled, trying to poke holes in Barry’s story. 

“The fucker wanted proof that I did the job, so I couldn’t avoid it. I used to use this ability on jobs all the time.” 

Hanks stomach dropped “people have died in here?!” somehow that never crossed his mind, of course it had happened before, Barry seemed like he was an expert.. 

Barry’s eyes widened “NO!” he yelled, his heart beating wildly as another painful memory was shoved into his head. He could feel Hank stop moving, probably shocked at the volume. “no...It was when I needed to transport someone somewhere without people knowing. They’d usually be gagged so nobody could hear them. I wouldn't… do this to kill someone.”

There was an awkward silence.

Hank slumped back in the stomach, feeling it gurgle around him, making him flinch “what's going to happen with Fuches. He’s going to know I’m alive sooner or later” 

“We can expose him, you’re alive and he tried to get you killed, you just need to lay low for at least a day. Which means you’ll be in there for the rest of the day, and tomorrow.” 

He was ready for backlash once more, and he wouldn’t blame Hank for being angry, but he was thoroughly surprised when hank pressed on the stomach wall, not angrily this time, but a soft touch.

“You… did this all to save me?” hank’s voice changed “I knew you we’re my friend!” hank punched the wall of Barry’s stomach, this time in a more friendly gesture. “I’m sorry I fought so much, must’ve done a number on you”

“Not really, I’ve been through worse”

 “How come you didn’t tell me before, you scared the shit out of me, you could have told me and then did it!” hank let out a laugh, more out of pure shock than happiness

Barry sighed, relieved he and Hank we’re on the same page “because he wouldn’t believe it, you aren’t that good at acting scared yakow” 

“Fuck you! I’m a fantastic actor!”

Barry just laughed, pulling onto the street, ready to get home and away from this mess. 

“So how did you find out you could do this?” 

“Not important” Barry sighed, rolling his eyes. 

Hank pushed on his stomach wall, then pushed again, clearly not planning to drop the situation any time soon, and with each push it was getting more bothersome.

Barry gave in.  it was no use keeping secrets anymore “back in Afghanistan, one of my mates were fucking around, it was just us on patrol that night, he was making a shit ton of noise, which was pretty much the only thing that would get us killed, I just snapped and….yeah, I don’t really remember much except for after it happened.” 

Barry felt hanks laughter inside, it almost tickled “you maniac! What happened? Did he tell?” 

“He tried saying I did something, nobody believed him, and the situation was dropped, he never really spoke to me after that, transferred to a different group.” 

“Well that's not fun.” Hank slumped down into the squishy stomach wall, he wanted to hear an entertaining story like what happened to him, call it masochistic, but if he knew none of this and told him what happened to him, he would pitch it as a movie. 

“Not every story is. Its mostly the same pattern” Barry turned into his apartment complexes parking garage “Do...this, go to a remote location, get them out, take out the hit. We didn’t tell the buyer what we did, we just charged them more when they wanted a kidnapping. If you think you did some damage today, these guys did so much worse.”

Hank nodded, wishing he could see inside Barry’s stomach. Wondering what it really looked like, if what he was saying was true, he might have some scar tissue or healed wounds from when it happened.

“How did Fuches not realize you could keep me in here without dying?” 

“He thinks there’s a time limit on how long someone can stay in there for.” Barry turned into a parking spot, turning off his car, then sitting back “there isn’t- if you’re worried about that. I mean if I really wanted to I could do it, but that’s just....cruel.” 

Hanks heart spiked for a second, “Barry-” he laughed, a nervous twinge in his voice.

“I won’t.” Barry cut him off “I’d have to be dying for that to happen, and I’m not dying any time soon.”

Hank patted the stomach wall “I know… its just…” hank sighed, “it fucked up that I’m even in here, allow me to be a little nervous?” 

Barry awkwardly patted his stomach, turning a bit red, he never had genuine conversations about this “yeah… I’m going out of the car now; I need you to be quiet for a few minutes so I can get to my apartment.” 

Hank hesitates, not really wanting to be left in silence. “Fine. be quick.” 

Barry got out of the car, walking out of the parking garage and up to the main floor of the building, hank was still and silent for this time. Barry was impressed, until hank began moving, he wouldn’t mind as much, but the man was basically investigating his stomach. 

Hank couldn’t help himself, he had to explore if he couldn’t ask anything at the moment, hank pushed against the walls gently, moving his hands across the squishy flesh. He moved around the entire stomach doing this. 

Barry began walking faster to the elevators, “Hank calm down” he muttered to himself, hoping the man would hear it too. 

Unfortunately, Hank heard no such thing. He began moving around more, pushing upwards on the top of the stomach, feeling the opening of the esophagus, he gave it a slight push, causing Barry to make a shocked noise, grabbing his stomach out of instinct and stopping dead in his tracks. 

A few stragglers by the elevators gave him a strange look as he turned bright red, looking down and walking over to press the ‘up’ button. 

Hank turned red as well, not expecting that reaction. He chuckled a bit, before doing it once again. 

Barry twitched instinctively, pushing onto his stomach as a silent warning towards Hank to not do it again. He could feel hank laughing, making him roll his eyes. 

Finally, he made his way up to the apartment, ignoring his theatre acquaintances/roommates, who ignored him as well, heading straight to his room, closing and locking the door. 

“I told you to not do anything.” Barry sighed, sitting on his bed. 

Hank couldn’t help it anymore, he burst out laughing “you told me to stay silent” 

‘Whatever” Barry opened his laptop, sighing as he saw his Facebook page, a photo of Sally and him as his header. 

Hank picked up on the sigh, patting the stomach wall “Okay, I won’t do it again, no need to get all upset.” 

“Its not you… its my girlfriend.” Barry pinched the bridge of his nose, “she walked in on me when my ability was going uh… haywire, I was giant, she got scared, and wouldn't talk to me, then I had to leave.”

“You can be a GIANT?!” Hank yelled out, completely missing the other things Barry had said. 

“Not the point Hank” 

“Right right… I’ll ask later” Hank nodded, pushing on the stomach wall jokingly, the organ gurgling back in response “what are you going to do”

“I don’t know, I’m going to talk to her tomorrow at class, you better not say a word tomorrow, I don’t need a bunch of theatre adults trying to gut me.” 

“Got it got it…. So about being giant?” 

Barry sighed; this was going to be a long night. 

It was, mostly answering Hanks questions, Hank messing around with his organs, and at one point, having to cut up pieces of food and swallow them down so hank wouldn’t starve. 

When the time came for the men to sleep, Barry found himself just staring at the wall, he couldn’t fall asleep, his thoughts on sally. 

He kept thinking of ideas on what to say to her, and hoping she would listen, he took a moment to turn his phone back on, hoping to see a message from sally, but there was nothing. 

He considered writing her a text explaining everything, or at least some of the things, but he decided not to, he’d give her the space she needed, and he would talk to her tomorrow. 

He placed his hand on his stomach, feeling hank asleep inside, he smiled a bit, he had never realized how good it felt for someone to be inside, it was always sharp pain and annoying struggles, but this was actually pretty great. 

Finally, sleep took over him. 

The next morning was awkward, hank waking up in complete darkness, forgetting where he was, pounding on the stomach walls to be let out, which in turn woke up Barry, who just sighed and had to calm the man down. 

“I’m sorry Barry I forgot” 

“Well if you fall asleep today you better not forget while I’m out”

“Barry I told you I won’t!” hank hit the stomach wall “you make one mistake and you get attacked nonstop” 

“Listen it could be my life at stake if Fuches hears anything about you being alive, if one of the actors finds out where you are and spreads it, it's your life too.”

Hank just huffed, sliding down against the side of the organ 

Barry quickly made his way to the building where the class was, about an hour and a half earlier, he knew she was always that early. As he parked,  he scanned the lot for Sally, noticing her at the doors. 

“Shit!” Barry whispered, he realized he never really practiced what to say to her. “What do I do” 

“Tell her the truth Barry” Hank spoke “minus the cannibalism part...is this cannibalism?”

“I don’t think about it often enough to answer that” Barry patted his stomach “fuck it, I’ll just wing it. Stay quiet” Barry got out of his car making his way to the building.” 

“Good luck, Barry!” Hank spoke, patting back before quieting down, letting himself sink into the stomach wall, wanting to hear the conversation as much as possible.

Barry let out a deep breath, “Hey sally?” he called gently to her as she was about to open the door. 

Sally froze in place, hearing Barry’s voice, she turned around, putting on an awkward smile “hey Barry!” 

He was taken aback at her enthusiasm, not even expecting her to say anything “are...are you okay?” 

She laughed awkwardly “what do you mean?” she stared at him before her eyes lit up “Oh! You mean yesterday! I’m fine, I think I got a second hand high from my roommate hotboxing while I was in the room, I was seeing things...marijuana sucks” 

Barry stared at her for a moment, “uh… Weed isn’t a hallucinogen…” he saw Sally’s face turn a bit red, her smile faltering a bit. 

“Well, I was seeing things, right?” she asked, not to him, but to herself. It broke Barry’s heart to hear her question herself. 

He thought of agreeing with her, saying that everything was fine, that nothing happened yesterday, but he lied to her enough, and she clearly didn’t believe herself either. 

“We need to talk” Barry spoke, Sally’s smile gone, a fearful look replacing it. Barry continued, “please just sit at the stairs with me” 

Sally, her heart pounding in her chest, silently moving to the outside stairs, sitting quietly. Barry followed her, sitting down. 

“Listen, Sally?” Barry looked into her eyes, she looked into his, the man sighed, butterflies in his stomach… actually it was Hank moving. “Yesterday, everything you saw was real.” 

Sally paused for a few moments before laughing “Barry what are you talking about?”

“Sally you know it's true.” she looked for anything other than seriousness in him, but his eyes didn’t waver for a second

She shook her head a few times, looking down at the ground, almost embarrassed at what she was saying “No I don’t, because if you actually knew what I was seeing you wouldn’t be saying this-”

“I was giant, Sally”  Barry winced internally, he just had to rip it off like a band-aid. “I was giant in one of the back rooms, you walked in and ran away.” 

Her brain processed what he was saying to her, before her face contorted into a look of fear, she wanted to believe she wasn’t thinking right, but she just had to face the music. 

“W-what?” she tried to scoot back on the stairs, but the wall of the building hitting her back stopped her from doing so. 

“Sally,  I’m not going to hurt you, I’ve never wanted to hurt you before, it isn't different now.” Barry put a hand on her shoulder. 

She flinched away at first, until she looked into his eyes, those were the eyes she fell in love with, the eyes she knew well, she felt safe with. “H-how?”

“I...fuck” Barry looked down, distracted by hank moving around, it seemed like he too was nervous and moving around as a result. 

Sally gave him a strange look “are you okay?” she tried coming closer to him, noticing he was focused on his stomach for a few moments “do you feel sick?” 

Barry pulled back, making her jump at how fast he was “I’m good…” he trailed off awkwardly, she nodded, backing up as well. “I just… don’t want you to be afraid of me, I...I’m not going to hurt you Sally, I love you” 

Hank sat in almost disbelief, he hadn't seen or heard Barry express...normal emotions before. He almost thought the man couldn’t express anything other than Annoyed. 

“Barry I…” Sally paused, worried to say the wrong thing “I overreacted, I shouldn’t have run away I should’ve let you--” 

“No” Barry put his hands on her shoulders, looking her dead in the eyes “you reacted how everyone would react to...that. I’m not mad at you, I just want to help you understand so you’re okay.” 

To this, he noticed Sally get a bit misty eyed, whenever he would show her any affection like this, she would always cry, and he was okay with that, he didn’t want her to be afraid to react to anything he did, she’d been badly hurt before, but he would never let that happen. 

She wiped her eyes, smiling softly “about that explanation?” 

Barry smiled, letting her go, and explained everything. 

Well, not everything. 

He told her everything she needed to know, he could shrink and grow, shrink other people and objects, to prove this to her, he took a pen out of her purse, and proceeded to shrink it, then resize it. 

She was absolutely amazed at what she was seeing before her eyes, they were lit up like the stars. 

He could feel hank getting more and more restless inside though, maybe it was the environment around the shrunken man, maybe he was bored, maybe he just wanted to cause trouble and piss Barry off, who knows. 

“So, it just… is apart of you? Do you know anyone like this too?” 

“Basically, its just something I have to live with, and no, there’s not really a place I could go looking for people like me” Barry shrugged.

“That’s… interesting” she laughed as he finished his explanation, all of her worry and fear melted away, and it was back to just same old Sally Reid. “In a good way, I mean you could probably make an entire play out of this” 

Barry Laughed softly “I guess so.” 

Then… it happened. 

Hank didn’t mean to laugh out loud, and definitely didn't mean for it to be that loud.  He just simply found it funny that out of anything out of his life, this would be the thing that would be perfect for a play. 

A PLAY of all things, not a movie or even a short film, but a play. 

Barry turned a dark red, grabbing onto his stomach, there was no way that she couldn’t have heard it. It may have been muffled, but there was no playing off what that sound was. 

Sally looked back and forth for a second “did you hear that? Sounded like someone was laughing.” 

He couldn’t play it off as a passerby, there was practically nobody around, hell, Gene wasn’t even there yet, she had to bring her own set of keys so she could get in when he was gone!

“I uh..I-” 

“Barry are you okay? Your face is really red” she looked him up and down as he panicked, his face giving everything away “Barry, you can talk to me” 

He had to think of a lie. He had to think of something so he could change the subject. He couldn’t let her know about this. “Its just...fuck…-”

“Okay okay Barry the Jig is up!”

Hank fucked this up, so he put it upon himself to fix it as well.

Barry tightened his grip on his stomach. Horrified enough to lose all use of his voice. He was stunned.

Sally whipped her head around “okay Barry what the fuck is going on?” she spoke, her tone much less concerned and much more upset. “Who’s there” 

“In here Miss Sally Reid!” 

“Hank shut the fuck up” Barry spoke extremely quickly, the panic and anger in his voice rising with each word. 

Her eyes trailed down to Barry stomach, which he was holding onto for dear life. She was about to say another thing, before she heard the voice again.

“No, I won’t shut the fuck up, she heard and now she knows!” 

Sally let out a small squeak in shock, there was no way that voice was actually coming from inside of Barry, but the sound was in that area. 

“Sally I can explain-”

“What is going on!?” she yelled, silencing Barry “you need to tell me right now if this is a joke, right fucking now!” 

“Listen Sally its not a Joke its just…. Dammit thanks Hank, couldn’t keep quiet?” he took his hand off of his stomach, taking a deep breath in attempt to calm his scattered brain. “Its not a joke sally, I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”

“So, you’re telling me that someone is… in there? Like you...you…” she couldn’t say the word, it made her nauseous to even think about. 

“Yeah I uh...I had to do it… he needed a place to go, he’s in a bad crowd, and they’re not that uh… pleased with him right now.”

“But he’s… he’s dying?” it was more of a question than a statement, he didn’t seem scared. 

“I’m okay” hank chimed in, “Barry is a great guy, he wouldn't hurt anyone” hank poked the wall of the stomach as a sort of inside joke between the two of them. 

“Hanks safe, its like, my own personal space for anyone who needs it.” Barry spoke “its okay, I just...didn’t want to tell you, this is much worse than just growing and shrinking things.” 

“Yeah… a lot different.” she nodded “are you sure its safe? You wouldn’t be able to actually hurt someone in there, right?”

Hank heard Barry’s heart pick up when she asked this, he was nervous about...something, hank didn’t know what.

“No… I’d have to be dying for that to happen” he answered, saying the same thing he said to hank, to her. 

He hated telling lies to her, but if he was honest with her, or even with Hank, they’d both never speak to him again. 

It was an accident really, he didn’t want to kill the guy, but as he was leaving the warehouse where he had swallowed the man, he failed to notice the other man hiding in the corner who had saw the whole thing. 

The stranger stabbed him in the gut in an attempt to kill the hitman, and then bolted to let him bleed out, unfortunately as he struggled to keep himself alive, his focus wasn’t really on the person inside of him… and when he remembered, it was too late. 

Fuches wasn’t bothered by it, he couldn't have cared less. It destroyed Barry though, he almost quit being a hitman right there and then as he was being stitched up. 

That was the last time he had ever swallowed someone, until now. 

So, he was technically not telling a lie...He’d have to be dying for it to happen. 

“Oh, my fucking god...my boyfriend can eat people” she spoke out loud, taking Barry out of his heavy thoughts. “Oh my god!” all she could do was laugh, it was such an unbelievable concept, but she couldn’t deny what was right in front of her.

Barry quickly hushed her, “you need to keep this quiet though, I can’t risk this getting out to anybody.”

“Got it!” she answered quickly “you have no idea how many secrets I’m keeping in this class alone, I basically know everyone’s secrets, so yours is safe with me” she smiled proudly at him, and he returned it. 

“So, Barry! Everything worked out in the end! Win for Hank?” the man interrupted, making the normal sized humans laugh together. 

“You did exactly what I didn't want you to do, Hank.” Barry spoke, poking at his stomach “if you do that while the class is going on I swear you’re going to stay there for a whole week”

“Yes, yes Barry, I know,” Hank trailed off, before pushing on the stomach wall, making the skin bulge so the two could see “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped out there with ME” Hank chuckled. 

Sally’s gaze couldn’t move from his stomach as the shirt barely covered the moving person inside, Barry telling hank to knock it off while also chuckling “that is honestly terrifying” 

“Hopefully you won’t have to see it again.” Barry gave her a smile, which she returned with a soft kiss. 

He melted into it, feeling all of her energy enter him, making him feel better every second the kiss lasted. 

“Good Morning love birds” the two pulled apart to see Gene, walking up to the front doors of the building “Sally, I thought you’d be inside by now. I forgot my keys.” 

Sally turned a slight pink “oh uh, sorry Gene! I just got caught up talking with Barry.” she quickly got up giving Barry a wink before grabbing her keys out of her purse, opening the door for Gene” 

“Barry, you look better today, you ready to perform?” Gene asked as Sally unlocked the door. Barry just nodded in response “good, I want you to go first since you’re Mr. Early today.” 

Before Barry could answer, Gene already went inside, Sally motioned for him to join, “come on!” 

He smiled at her, holding up his hand “Give me a sec!” She nodded, holding the door for him as she waited. 

“No fucking around Hank.” Barry patted his stomach, the man only replied with a pat back, most likely getting ready to take a nap for the next few hours. 

Barry stood up, walking into the building with sally, not another word spoken. 

he always thought his ability could only be used for bad things, but now, he realized that he could do a lot more than use this on Jobs, hell, he could probably get someone to help him explore it. 

It could be used as a blessing now, not just his curse.

------------------

and Done! I hope you guys enjoyed this, i wanted to try something new and please let me know if you liked it or not! should I have more multiple chapter stories? let me know!

Have a good day and remember that y’all are fantastic! be good people!

[foodcourtdetective]

i choose you

summary: barry berkman comes to class one day and meets his new scene partner who turns out to be his soulmate.

tags: soulmate au, love at first sight

A/N: might do a part two unless someone begs me not to whoops

word count 1.2k

AO3 x

Barry couldn’t pinpoint why the sense of dread pulsed through him when his soulmark started burning, the floral crest of the goddess of the underworld on his ring finger knuckle flowed with white hot heat. He was standing outside of the theatre, ordinary enough as class started momentarily. His thoughts were with the bloody towels under his driver’s seat, used to clean off the job that had caused his tardiness. Gripping his hands into fists, Barry pushed through the doors quietly. He felt his classmates’ eyes on him, but his attention was quickly occupied by a loud yelp from Nick’s scene partner on stage.

“I’m sorry, can I just take a second? My hand-“ She suddenly locked eyes with Barry, whose own hand was ablaze with pain. But he couldn’t feel it. All he could feel was the warmth of his heart just from looking into her deep eyes. She seemed just as breathtaken, taking a step forward when-

“This is NOT the time for a tight five! This scene isn’t giving me ANYTHING! You, Barry! You must come up here and take Nick’s place!” Barry blinked, noting Gene pointing him toward the stage. Something took over him as he walked up onstage, still staring at her as Nick shoved the script into his hands, muttering something about typecasting. She was even more beautiful up close, her mouth agape at him.

“Alright, let’s take it from Hades’ line on the top of page two,” Gene declared, sitting back in his chair and gesticulating at the pair. Barry looked down at the script, the words swimming in front of him. He snuck a peek at her; she had recomposed herself and was encouragingly nodding at him to start the scene. He cleared his throat.

“You don’t have to do this. I’m just telling you now, it’s not going to be easy,” Barry reads, the honesty in his voice a little too real as he imagined talking to her about his past for the first time. There was also affection in his voice betraying his immediate attraction to her.

“I want to be with you. Screw my mother!” She gets closer to him and revealing their height difference. He gulped, his Adam’s apple prominent as her eyes linger on him.

“Your mother is one of the most powerful goddesses, one of life and light. You don’t want this life, full of death and darkness. You deserve more than this.”

“You’re more than your job. You’ve been kind to me…I chose to run away with you and now, I choose to stay with you.”

“Don’t say that! You’re not meant for this life,” Barry hesitated before he obeys the script, placing his hand on her cheek; instinctually, she leaned into it, her eyes moving from his throat back to his eyes.

“I’m meant to be with you. I know it. Now give me the pomegranate.” They didn’t move for a moment, intensely looking at each other as he slowly lowered his hand. Her eyes widen and she grabbed his hand as she spots the soulmark she knew deep down was there. Barry’s heart swells with pride as her smile appears, brighter than the sun (this pride greater than when he shot the sheep-fuckers and received applause). As she locks their fingers together, he sees it too and almost tears up: his Persephone tattoo lines up with her Hades one, the heavenly glow of their marks uniting captivating everyone’s attention in the room. Before either of them can say anything, a loud voice interrupts their moment.

“I did it! I matched up two soulmates!! I am a god of love. Oh Aphrodite!!” Gene rushes out of the room with a manic glee as the class cheers for the new couple. Barry and his soulmate shyly look at each other but are once again kept from speaking by the very man who claimed to unite them.

“Full price for the class time! You’ve learned so much from witnessing true love so you can pay me for the time!”

//

“I’m a hit man.” The foreign sound of the truth escaping his mouth in his car hits him with the full force of a bullet hitting a bulletproof vest. Her name was Y/N and he knew that if she was going to choose him, she needed to know what life she was choosing. As he went into detail, explaining how he was recruited and what he was doing in Los Angelas, she just listened. Her eyes stayed on him, nodding as she processed her soulmate being a murderer. Her calm demeanor made sense as Barry had found out earlier that she was a psychology student, training to become a therapist for children with broken homes. Finally, Y/N put her hand on his, an identical movement to the way Barry had put his hand on Chris’ to keep him still as he—

“You’re more than your job, Barry,” she quietly remarked. Her repetition of the line cut through his flashback, her hand now grounding him to reality instead of hurting him. He still couldn’t bear to look at her, staring straight ahead into the familiar parking lot where he had once before bared his soul to a stranger.

“I’m a military kid; I saw what war did to my dad, what it does to my brother. Of course you got talked into this… business.” Her simple understanding compelled Barry to look back at her, the shock in his wide eyes meeting the compassion in hers.

“You’re my soulmate. I’m gonna be here for you, period. Also…” she paused, sliding her hand into his, the security of her mark side by side with his, drawing a sigh of relief from his chest.

“You’re really cute, so I want to give this a try. Does that make me crazy?”

“So you wanna—“ Barry was cut off by Y/N’s quick lean over the console to kiss him eagerly. Somehow, despite their very direct conversation, Barry was taken by surprise but was able to feverishly kiss her back after a moment of hesitation. It was not quite perfect with his mouth half open when the kiss started, but it was heaven to them. He expected that he would never get to kiss her once he confessed, never get to join together with the other half of his soul. He didn’t deserve it, Barry decided as Y/N pulled away breathlessly to look at him, her marked hand stroking his cheek softly. Barry stared at her intently, memorizing her joyful features as he tried to push her away.

“Our life together is not gonna be normal. Fuches is gonna hunt me down to do jobs for the rest of our lives and now I have this weakness…” Barry trailed off as Y/N patted his cheek softly and pulled away to buckle her seatbelt. Matter of factly, Y/N said the words Barry didn’t realize he needed to hear:

“Just promise me that you’ll teach me how to defend myself so you won’t worry about me all the time,” she stated, gesturing for him to drive. As Barry stared at her determined face, he knew that he was in love with her and that he would do anything to protect her from the death that often arrived at his doorstep.

[richieisabastardman]

Saviour - Barry Berkman x Reader

Summary: After a hit gone wrong, Barry walks the streets looking for help. He manages to find it (and much more) in the strangest of places (Fluff/Sexy stuff?). 

Word count: 2559

Warnings: Body Injury, Blood, Stitches, Swearing, Sexual Situations (not smut)

Notes: This fic is set somewhere in the middle of season two of Barry, no spoilers (I don’t think). I just finished season two of Barry and wow. I decided to write something because face it Barry is hot. Hopefully you enjoy it! I’m going to continue my Richie Tozier series but I think I’ll be writing more Barry oneshots as well.

Barry’s experience with excruciating pain was vast. A gun wound here, and a stab wound there, were all realities of Barry’s past. However, as he walked down various empty LA streets clutching his arm (which was bleeding profusely) he really thought he may die. Worse than that, he was much more scared by the thought of death than he ever thought he would be. Blood continued to drip down his arm, forming a trail behind him as he continued walking. A hit gone wrong. That had been happening to him a lot recently, he thought. He considered that he may be getting too old for this work. In contrast, he also considered that he may be beginning to get used to normality. The last couple of months of dating Sally and going to his acting class had left him feeling normal. It was comfortable.

That’s why when Fuches had called him and told him there was an opportunity to make some cash, he had expected to hang up the phone or at least give Fuches an earful before he blocked him. Instead he had agreed. He had told Sally he couldn’t help her run lines because he was meeting an old friend. He was also quick to get back into routine, putting on a black hoodie and grabbing his guns. He didn’t even care how much the job was going to pay.

Barry stopped walking, planting himself in the middle of the road. He wasn’t sure where he was, but he knew he was too far from home to make it back on foot. He shut his eyes, swaying slightly with the cool breeze that blew past him. It was a quiet night, and he could hear the faint sound of cars not too far away. He considered calling an uber before he remembered his phone was broken, smashed by the man he eventually managed to kill. Realising he had no other ways to get home, he considered laying on the sidewalk and bleeding out slowly.

Just as Barry began to lower himself to the ground, the deafening sound of a helicopter hovered above him. He raised his uninjured arm to shield his eyes from its light. As it passed, he lowered his arm, his gaze fixating on what the remaining light of the aircraft illuminated. A crucifix stood tall on top of an old building. Observing the stain glass windows, Barry realised it was a church. He began to scuffle towards it. At worst I die in a church  Barry thought. Perhaps if there was a God he would take this into consideration when determining his eternal fate.

As he reached the doors, he silently pleaded that they were open (though to whom he was pleading, he wasn’t sure). He let out a sigh of relief at the sound of the door clicking open as he rested his uninjured shoulder upon it. He stumbled into the church, trying his best to be quiet as he shut the door behind him. He limped between the pews, attempting to find a room in which he could mend himself. The large hall was lit only by candles along the walls, which left shadows dancing upon them. Barry’s eyes darted around the room, following the dark shapes. He reached the front of the hall, staring up at the statue that stood tall there. A large wooden cross with a man nailed to it, his arms and chest covered in red paint. Staring at the crown of thorns upon his head, Barry removed his hoodie with his uninjured hand. He only stared for a moment longer before averting his gaze and continuing his way through the church.

Moving to the side of the statue, he found a room filled with various boxes, all stacked upon each other. Barry rummaged through the material but groaned when he found nothing that could help him. He exited the room, looking to the back of the church to see if he had missed any other doors.

“Holy shit”

Barry flinched at the sound of a woman’s voice beside him. He looked over to the statue in which he was near only moments ago. A woman, at least half his age, stood in front of it. Her eyes were running along his body, wide in what he assumed was fear. She held a box, similar to the ones within the adjacent room. Barry stood frozen, unable to even respond to her exclamation. Her eyes stopped wondering as they reached his own. To Barry’s surprise, she smiled.

“Need some help?”.

 ~

The man continued to stare at you, his eyes wide and one of them bruised. Despite his tall frame and dark clothing, you felt no fear in his presence. You could see his arm was injured, as a damp spot on his hoodie was visible even under candlelight. You put the box you were holding onto the ground, moving towards the man slowly. He moved backwards ever so slightly at your movement.

“There’s a first aid kit in the back room” you explained, gesturing behind you.

The man appeared as though he would not move until he nodded. You smiled at him again, walking to the room. You could hear his footsteps behind you, heavy but slow as they followed your own. You turned on the light and pulled out a chair in which the man sat.

“It’s your arm that’s fucked up, right?” you asked, reaching up onto a shelf in order to pull down a large red box.

The man watched you intently. He nodded his head once again.

“Okay well you’re gonna need to take that off” You said, gesturing towards his hoodie. He pulled the cloth off of his body, revealing a tight grey shirt underneath. The shirt was also stained by a circle of blood around his left shoulder which was dripping steadily down his arm. “That needs to go as well” you stated. The man looked at his shoulder and the stain and then back at you before removing the piece of clothing.

Now that he was shirtless you could see the extent of the wound. It gaped, blood violently seeping from it. It was too thick to be caused from anything other than a knife. This guy must have really pissed someone off you thought.

“What’s your name?” you asked, pouring alcohol onto a clean white rag.

He watched your actions closely. His eyes never appeared to leave your form, darting from your hands to your eyes to your legs. You almost thought he wasn’t going to respond until he softly replied.

“Barry”

“Barry” you repeated, nodding your head as you placed the rag onto the man’s wound. He let out a loud hiss followed by a range of cuss words. When you had cleaned the wound you moved back to the kit, finding a needle and thread.

“What’s yours? Your name I mean” Barry asked. He voice was so quiet that you almost didn’t hear him speak.

“Y/N” you replied. You lifted the needle and thread you had prepared in front of you. “I have to sew it up, so this next part is going to really suck” you stated.

Barry nodded his head, muttering a “It’s fine”.

Barry’s jaw clenched as you stuck the needle into the skin around his wound. You both took in a deep breath, though for different reasons. You threaded the needle through, doing your best to seal the wound.

“you’re lucky I have first aid training” you joked, attempting to distract Barry from the pain of the needle.

“Oh yeah?” he was gritting his teeth and his eyes were squeezed shut. You could tell he didn’t want to speak but you were glad he did. Mostly because it meant he hadn’t passed out on you.

“No, I actually don’t. But I did a sewing class once”

You tried to avoid adding I’m also totally just improvising right now and hoping you don’t die.

“Why are you here so late? Are you a nun or something?” Barry asked, snapping you back from your thoughts.

You laughed at his question, but he continued to stare at you, waiting for an answer.

Barry groaned as you stuck the needle into his skin again. He grabbed your hip with his free hand in order to hold onto something through the pain. You allowed him to squeeze you as tightly as he needed to. You also ignored the inappropriate warmth you felt within you at his touch.

“I’m sorry” you whispered, and he released the tension in his face, looking up at you. His eyes were wide, but no longer did it appear to be because of fear. There was a hint of awe? Relief perhaps? You weren’t sure.

“Its okay” he said, shaking his head.

“I’m not a nun” you finally replied. “My brother is a priest here and he isn’t too great with organisation. I’m helping him clean up the place”.

“Is he around?” Barry asked.

“No. He’s visiting our parents over the weekend” you said, and he nodded.

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as you continued your work.

“I’m almost done” you said, finishing up the stitch.

When you were finished you moved away from the older man, going back to the kit to find a band aid to cover the wound. Once you had done that you walked back to the kit, tidying it up in order to place it back on the shelf. Barry took his shirt from the floor where he had previously thrown it and put it back on. He sat back down in the chair, watching you organise the red box. You heard him call your name softly and you looked up at him, smiling sweetly. “Thank you” he said, and you nodded in acknowledgement.

Before shutting the kit, you grabbed two pills. You walked over to Barry and stood in front of him, opening your palm to reveal the two small white circles. “They aren’t morphine but they’re all we’ve got” you said, and he grabbed them, placing them into his mouth and swallowing them dry. As he stared up at you, you noticed just how bruised his right eye was. A deep purple tinge stretched below it, and it appeared to be beginning to puff up. Absentmindedly, you placed your hand on Barry’s stubble covered jaw and cheek, rubbing it gently with your thumb. His breath hitched at the intimacy of your action, but he hissed when you accidently touched too close to the bruise.

His small cry of pain broke you from your trance, and you dropped your hand quickly. You weren’t sure what had possessed you to act so intimately with this stranger. However, his wide eyes and injured body made you feel protective of him. Barry’s eyes never left your face as your gaze dropped to his knees in embarrassment.

“Why would someone do this to you Barry” you asked. The words you had spoken, and the care behind them, stirred something within Barry. He lifted his large hand to your neck, gently pulling you down to meet your lips with his own. He kissed you softly, his hand making its way to rest tangled within your hair at the back of your head. You let out a hum of content and then one of discontent as he pulled out of the kiss, sitting back further into his chair.

You stood above him, lighting drumming your fingers on your lips as you looked around the room. Barry cleared his throat, scratching lightly at his stubble. “Sorry” he said “I don’t know why I did that. I didn’t mean to do that. Not that you aren’t beautiful but… that was…” he shook his head.

You nodded and smiled an apologetic smile, though you weren’t sure what you were apologising for. He seemed so lonely, you thought, as he stared up at you with those eyes again. You knew he couldn’t have been in a good place, considering the state he was in when he got here. Probably a gang war gone wrong you considered. You had heard about all the gang activity in LA before you got here, but you didn’t think you’d have it limping into your brother’s church. You also didn’t think it would be six feet tall with very broad shoulders.

“Should I get you an uber?” you asked, offering a hand to Barry so he could stand up.

He took your hand and the moment he did your body tingled. He lifted himself up but didn’t release himself from you, choosing to stare at your interlocked hands instead. He released your hands finally and you sighed, missing his warmth until he pulled you toward his chest, wrapping his arms around you. Something terrible must have happened tonight for him to act like this with a stranger you thought. However, you realised you didn’t mind what was currently happening. For some strange reason, it felt right. His arms were wrapped tight around you and you let him hold you. You rubbed his back with your hand, feeling the taught muscles underneath. He placed his face into your neck, resting his head upon your shoulder. The position must have been a strain, you thought, due to his height. However, when he nuzzled himself ever so slightly into your neck, your realised this was something you needed just as much as him.

“I just need-“ he mumbled into your neck.

“I know” You whispered, interrupting him “I know”.

He pulled away from your neck, moving to your face so he could connect your lips once again. His kisses were skilled but hesitant. Despite his hesitation, his actions drew a warmth from you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. His hands moved down your arms slowly, resting on your hips. Your hands were around his neck, playing with the hair that lay at the back of his head. He moaned into your mouth and you almost melted against him. He moved you around slowly, still kissing you, so that you could sit on the table within the room. He placed himself between your legs and you wrapped them around him, pulling him closer to you. His hands on your thighs, he kissed down your neck and you moaned, pulling at his hair. Suddenly, he froze. Leaving a final kiss on your collarbone, he brought his face back up to yours and let out a sigh. His eyes were shut, and he was breathing heavily, trying to calm himself down.

You brought a hand up to his cheek once again and he opened his eyes, staring into yours. “It’s okay” you smiled, and he nodded.

He untangled himself from you and moved to pick up his hoodie, which was still on the floor. He walked slowly towards the door, but stopped just before it, turning towards you. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it again quite quickly, unsure of what to say.

“If you ever change your mind, I’m here every Sunday. My brother makes sure of that” you joked, and he smiled a tight, closed-mouth smile at you, nodding his head. You watched Barry leave the room, walking into the dim light of the church hall and finally out onto the dark LA street from which he had come.

[berkmansimagines]

False God

Summary: Barry and his wife get into an argument before he leaves for a dangerous job.

Pairing: Barry Berkman x hitman!wife reader

“Barry, I can’t let you do this. It’s too dangerous…”

Your husband is getting ready to leave for a hit. Fuches and Noho Hank put the whole thing together. The target was an ex-cop who used to be on the Chechen payroll. He was fired from his job and no longer useful to the Chechens. They hired Barry because they wanted it to be clean.

You keep your distance, leaning against the doorway as if you’re trying to block him from leaving. You hate that he’s working with the Chechens again. You’ve been trying to convince Barry not to go through with this job ever since he first told you about it. He’s beginning to lose patience.

“Y/N, please,” Barry sighs. 

He knows it’s a dangerous job but agreed to do it anyway. The money was just too good to pass up. You and Barry had talked about saving up to buy a house and starting a family some day. He was trying to get you both one step closer to that dream. 

“You still have time to back out. Call Fuches and tell him the job is off,” you insist.

“You know I can’t do that,” Barry challenges you.

“Yes you can! You need to convince him how reckless this hit is. The guy’s a cop which means he’s armed and trained. He’ll put up a fight,” you try.

“I can handle myself,” Barry brushes off your concern.

“If you’re going to do it at least let me help,” you offer.

Barry’s eyes widen. Your husband doesn’t want you anywhere near this. 

He shakes his head, “No fucking way.”

“Why not?” you ask tensely, crossing your arms against your chest.

“Because the Chechens don’t trust you,” Barry answers coldly.

You take a deep breath and look down at your feet. Barry’s right and you know it. 

You’ve had a rocky history with the Chechens. Once during a routine hit, you took out one of their men in self defense. You didn’t even know he was affiliated with the mob until after you shot him dead. The Chechens were furious and tracked you down, they wanted blood. The only reason they didn’t kill you was because Barry carried out a hit for them in exchange for letting you go. Tensions have cooled but the Chechens haven’t forgotten. And neither have you.

“But-” 

“I said no,” Barry sternly interrupts, “I don’t need your help. I’m doing this on my own.”

You let out a defeated sigh, “I can’t talk to you when you’re like this! If you want to leave then leave. It’s your funeral.”

“Whatever,” Barry quietly shrugs as he walks past you.

Barry walks out without saying another word. He slams the door behind him in frustration. The loud noise causes you to flinch.

“Dammit.”

You and Barry didn’t argue very often but when you did they could be explosive. It feels like hell when you fight with him. Right now you both need time to cool off. 

You go to the kitchen, grab a bottle of wine and pour it generously into your glass. Then you plant yourself on the couch. 

While looking through Netflix titles, you can’t help but think about Barry. You regret telling him to leave and wish he didn’t walk out angry. What if that was the last time you ever see your husband? You didn’t even say I love you... 

You take out your phone and send out a quick text:

Hey babe. I hate how we left things. I love you and I’m sorry. Come home soon 

You stay on the couch for hours waiting for Barry to walk through the door. He doesn’t. You eventually give up, crawl into bed and fall asleep alone.

CREAK

Your eyes open to the sound of the door and quiet footsteps walking around the bedroom. The first thing you see is Barry pulling out the gun from the back of his jeans and putting it on the bureau.

“Hey,” you shyly greet your husband as you sit up in bed.

You want to make up from the fight earlier but have no idea where he stands. You hope he still isn’t angry. Barry looks surprised to see you awake.

“Oh shit! I, uh, didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay,” you reassure him, “I tried waiting up for you. I wanted to talk. I’m sorry about before...”

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have…. It’s just when it comes to the Chechens, I can’t get you involved in their shit. They’re bad dudes. I was trying to protect you,” Barry admits.

“I know,” you sigh.

Barry tosses his jeans and black henley into the laundry basket before changing into an old t-shirt to sleep in.

“I saw your text. Sorry I didn’t respond. I… I had work to do,” Barry tells you.

“I’m happy you're okay,” you bite the bottom of your lip.

“Me too,” Barry quietly replies.

It was a tough hit. You were totally right, the target did try to fight back. He took a few shots at Barry but thankfully missed. Barry was lucky that he didn’t get hurt.

Your husband gets into bed and you immediately roll over to snuggle into his side. He smiles to himself, feeling his entire body relax. 

“I love you, Y/N,” Barry wraps his arm around you.

“Love you too. Let’s never fight again. I hate it,” you nuzzle your head on Barry's shoulder.

“Okay,” he chuckles.

You fall asleep in each other's arms.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Barry: ben mendelsohn (3x03)

I mean, it's a good show, what more do you want from me?

Cons:

I'd say that Fuches is probably the main character in Barry who offers me the least when he's onscreen. The stuff between him and Barry, the whole fucked up nature of their relationship, great television for sure. Their phone call was captivating. But when it's just him talking to other minor characters, being weirdly settled in his exile, I find that my interest is less than fully held. It's a minor thing, I just think the character type is slightly less captivating than most of the other things going on.

I wouldn't call this show "subtle" necessarily, but one thing I really admire about the performances and the script is how usually the audience knows the inner turmoil of the characters, but it's in-universe believable why other characters don't pick up on certain things. One moment that didn't quite work for me on this level was when Sally's young co-star was asked about Sally's new stable relationship. Her reaction was so awkward and stilted and clearly showcased that there was something to hide. A little over the top for my taste.

Pros:

Let's start with the Chechnya/Bolivia drama. I find myself surprisingly... moved, but Hank and Cristobal's plight. First you had Cristobal saving Hank and his men, and then here he deflects a plan to go back and try to kill them again. Meanwhile Hank's men want to kill Cristobal since they blame the Bolivians for shooting up their place. They're doing all this stuff to protect each other all while knowing they can never, ever blow their cover. It's a real Romeo and Juliet story, and I'm kinda digging it.

Sally is put through a press junket where she's asked simple, repetitive questions over and over by a revolving door of reporters. This is going to sound so obvious and silly but sometimes I forget how truly funny this show can be. Sally thinking that maybe Cake Boss is one of the new Avengers was honestly really hilarious. Idk, there's some new dude called Moon Knight that everyone is into, so why not Cake Boss?

But on the more serious side of things, Sally is someone who is getting what she's always wanted and is simply drenched in dissatisfaction and stress about all of it. You see how much of her is a façade, how terribly important her success is to her, and how much her own happiness has fallen down in the list of requirements.

Contrast that to Barry, who is also getting what he says he wants, in forcing a "friendly" relationship with Mr. Cousineau, in getting work as an actor. It's such a twisted, funhouse mirror version of what Barry is fighting so hard to achieve. We see immediately how unsustainable it is, when Gene totally loses it and screams at Barry during filming. That's one thing I'll say overall for this show and this season, is that the pacing is quite brisk, the entire shifting dynamics of various relationships happen within these short half hour episodes. I love that.

I'll leave it there. As always, I feel oddly unequipped to write about this show. It sort of exists outside of the standard realm of TV for me, and it always has such interesting gifts to give.

8.5/10

[bowieandqueen11]

Barry Berkman x Short!Reader Headcanons

Request: Can I request hc with Barry having a short gf? Thank you. :)

For all my short beauties out there can I get a hell yeah <3

To be completely blunt, once he got used to the whole physical affection is actually allowed and wanted from him thing, Barry would take every available opportunity to wrap himself around you in a massive, squishing hug.

If he’s had a long or sad day fighting with Fuches, sitting on the cushion armrest of the sofa with slender fingers running over the slight sweat of his forehead, a grimace covering his face as his large shoulders hunch down and his hoodie shakes gently against his wide frame, his ears would be straining to hear your footsteps gently float through the doorway. 

As soon as your head would pop around the wooden door frame his face would light up, teeth showing as a smile lights up his face and reaches his glimmering eyes twinkling like a tranquil pool flecked with golden sunlight as he jumps up, leaping towards you. 

His arms would completely wrap around your soft waist, like a teddy bear squeezing you gently against his thumping chest as his head falls familiarly on top of yours. The two of you spend countless evenings swaying serenely in each other’s arms as he hums gently, fitting into his lanky arms and wrapping around his long legs like a Lego piece.

This means Barry would be in heaven when he could snuggle up close to you in bed, bare skin against bare chest as he lies on his side, his long tired fingers sweeping hair away from your cheek as his devotional gaze never leaves your eyes, except for momentarily slipping down to glance at your plump lips.

A gentle smile would twitch at the curve of his mouth as his head shakes gently with laughter, you leaning down to place your head against his bare chest as his thick arm wraps around your shoulder. He sighs, wondering how incredible it is he found someone who could fit into his side like an extended part of him as his hands graze your skin, his palms rubbing gently circles into the muscles of your shoulder as he closes his eyes, the sound of your slowing breathing calming him down and lulling him into the most peaceful sleeps he’s ever had.

He often gives you piggy back rides when the two of you are out walking somewhere, one because he loves the feel of your legs tight around his waist and the plushness of your cheek against his back, but also because he can become quite impatient when you can’t keep up with him.

Tip toe kisses. Whenever he’s in a good mood and decides to try and cook you dinner after acting class, when you come in and rub your hands over his broad shoulders, eliciting a small groan from him, he loves the way you spin him around and lean up to softly press your lips against his eager ones.

Sometimes though he can’t wait. His shirt ruffles against his thumping heart that twirls roughly in his chest like beating butterflies as he runs towards you, his arms wrapping around your waist and lifting your squealing form up under the dim lights, the spatula gripped in his hand falling onto the floor and splashing grease over the tiles as he switches it for your fingers, his knuckles white as they grab onto yours and don’t let go. Twirling you slightly in his grasp, slight hoarse chuckles erupting from his lips which are buried into the curve of your neck he nearly slips on the floor, his breath brushing warm against your skin as he nestles into you. 

Barry likes to sit on the couch with you between his legs on the floor, so he can feel your warmth and brush his fingers through your hair. But, he also appreciates this in reverse as it allows him to lean back against your legs or grasp appreciatively at your legs.