#basically i’m in LOVE. we’re planning her birthday party already and that shit is months away- just the two of us.WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?

[gaywarenn]

.

[alisonsfics]

back in chicago - part 4

pairing: carmy berzatto x reader

summary: after years in germany, you return to chicago and immediately run into your ex-boyfriend. if you thought it’d be easy jumping back into your old life, you were wrong. new people had entered carmy’s life, including a new woman, but you were still everything to him.

word count: 4.8k

part 1 / part 2 / part 3

A/N: welcome to the FINALE babbyyyy…also i may have gotten carried away and the finale is a little on the long side

warnings: unprotected sex, smut, car sex, jealous carmy which deserves its own warning, minors DNI (18+ only)

After Richie’s birthday party, you avoided Carmy for a few weeks. It was too messy. He had basically told you he loved both you and Claire and didn’t know what to do about it. You didn’t want to get on Claire’s bad side more than you already had.

It was easier to just ignore the problem.

During those weeks, you started to hang out with Sydney more and more. You both had hit it off upon meeting each other. She felt like one of your best friends, despite having only having known each other for a month.

Being friends with Sydney meant sometimes accidentally running into Carmy.

The first time was when you and Sydney decided to try a new lunch spot, which happened to be close to the Bear, so she could walk there after her shift. You accidentally got seated at one of the tables in front of the restaurant on that patio.

Carmy had walked by on his way to work, and of course, had to stop and say hi.

Then, you and Sydney made plans to go to a farmers market. You planned to meet her at the Bear, but didn’t want to run into Carmy.

You hung out in the alleyway beside the restaurant. You looked down at your phone and realized Sydney had texted that she was running a few minutes late.

You waited, mindlessly scrolling through social media. Finally, the back door swung open. You looked up expecting Sydney, but instead saw Carmy with a box of cigarettes in hand.

“Oh…uh, hey,” he said, shocked to see you. You gave him a polite smile, not exactly knowing what to say. What do you say to your ex-boyfriend who knows you’ve been avoiding him. “I’m just waiting for Sydney. We’re going to a market.” You quickly explained.

He nodded, slowly. He was slightly disappointed you weren’t there to see him. He knew he’d screwed things up, but he missed you.

“You know, you can wait inside if you want? You don’t have to wait out in the cold and pretend like we don’t know each other.” He offered. Before you could say anything, Sydney rushed out the door and saved you.

“Hey, sorry I’m late,” she said, trying to break up the awkward tension between the two of you.

A few days after that, Carmy had texted you asking if you wanted to get lunch. You couldn’t say yes, but you also couldn’t say no without sounding like an asshole. So, you ignored the message.

One night at your apartment, you FaceTimed Sydney after ruining the dinner you were making. “Syd, this tastes like shit. I don’t know how to fix it.” You complained. Having a chef friend came in handy.

It reminded you of all the times you’d cooked with Carmy.

“It probably just needs more acid to balance it out.” She told you. You nodded and tried to tweak the sauce.

“Oh, by the way, there’s this big dinner next week. Have you heard of the restaurant Ever? They’re closing and having this big final dinner thing. You should come with me. It’ll be fun.” She suggested, bracing for your quick no.

You paused and looked over at Sydney on your screen. She instantly knew the expression on your face meant no way. “Is Carmy gonna be there?” You asked, slowly.

Sydney pursed her lips and looked away from the camera. You glared at her as she refused to tell you. “I will respectfully pass then. I really don’t want to go to a dinner with my ex-boyfriend.” You told her, honestly.

Sydney sighed. “Oh, come on. They’ll be a bunch of people there. You probably won’t even see him.” Sydney said, and you both knew she was lying.

You persistently shook your head. “I really don’t want to see him. There’s too much history, Syd.” You told her. She knew she had slim odds of convincing you, but she was going to try. To do so, she was going to try every possible angle.

“I have this chef friend. His name is Luca, and he’ll be there. I think you’d like him. He’s cute.” She said, smirking at you. You gave her a disappointed look. “I told you no more love drama. I’m not ready to start dating some new guy.” You said.

You tasted your sauce as Sydney rambled on about why you and Luca would hit it off. “You know another plus? It would make a certain someone jealous.” She said, winking at you.

You froze at the reference to Carmy. Over the past few weeks, Sydney had refused to talk about Carmy unless you brought him up, so it was new to hear her mention him. “I’m not gonna take advantage of some guy just to get back at Carmy.” You persisted.

“Luca’s a nice guy. He might even be down to pretend just to help you make Carmy jealous.” Sydney playfully threw the idea out there. You felt a laugh slip through your lips. “That would be hilarious.” You said, treating the suggestion as a joke.

“I can ask him.” Sydney said, dead serious. You looked at her, mentally weighing your options. You almost considered it for a second. “No, Syd. I was just kidding.” You said.

You both hung up, so that you could finish making dinner. You completely forgot about the conversation. Until the next day when you got a text from Sydney.

“Luca says he’ll do it.”

When it came to the night of the Ever dinner, you were extremely anxious.

Anxious to see Carmy. Anxious to possibly see Claire. Anxious for how Carmy would react.

You were currently standing in the lobby as you waited for Sydney to show up. You felt too awkward to go in and have to find Luca on your own. You nervously fidgeted with the necklace you were wearing.

You had picked a dress that made you feel really confident. If you were going to try to make Carmy jealous, you knew you needed to up your game.

You heard footsteps coming down the hallway and looked up to see Sydney. “Hey, there you are. You look so good.” She said, giving you a hug.

You thanked her and returned the compliment. “You seem nervous. You doing okay?” She asked you, noticing the way you were fidgeting. You shrugged. “Kinda stressed, but just trying to power through it,” you said.

“Everything is gonna go fine, I promise.” She assured you. She led you into the dining room. You saw a blonde man raise his hand and wave you both over. As you walked over to the table, you glanced around the room. You saw no sign of Carmy.

He pulled Sydney in for a hug and then turned to you. “Luca. It’s nice to meet you.” He said, sticking his hand out for you to shake. You smiled and introduced yourself.

He quickly pulled your chair out for you, letting you sit down. “So, what’s the whole story with Carmy? I’ve been dying to know. Sydney told me a little bit.” Luca said, sitting and turning to face you.

“We dated for a few years. I moved away for a job, and he broke things off. His new girlfriend is pissed at me, simply for existing. And I don’t think he knows how to be friends with me after all these years.” You summarized.

“That is wild. Did you move to Germany, by chance?” He asked. You and Sydney both perked up when he said Germany. “Yeah, I did. How did you know that?” You asked, curiously.

“I went to culinary school with Carmy, and he always talked about his girlfriend who lived in Germany.” He told you.

“Yeah that was me, but we broke up before I left. So, we were definitely broken up when he told you that.” You said, realizing how hard Carmy must have taken the breakup. Luca slowly nodded. “My best guess based on the way he talked about you is he definitely wasn’t over you.” He told you.

You felt a pit in your stomach as you thought about it. You always figured Carmy moved on quickly because he was the one who broke things off. But, you were starting to realize how much he regretted that.

“I’m going to run to the restroom really quick, but I’ll be right back.” Luca said, standing up and excusing himself.

“Carm’s not bringing Claire tonight, right?” You turned and asked Sydney. She shook your head. “No, I asked him and he said she’s working tonight.” She told you. You breathed a sigh of relief.

Then, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Carmy walk into the room. “Oh, shit,” you mumbled to yourself. Sydney looked over her shoulder and also saw Carmy.

He walked over towards your table. When you both locked eyes, you could tell he was shocked to see you.

Sydney stood up to give Carmy a quick hug. You also stood up. Carmy’s eyes raked down your body as he saw your dress for the first time.

It took everything in him to fight the urge to tell you how amazing you looked. He gave you a quick side hug. “I didn’t know you’d be here.” He mentioned to you before sitting back down.

He sat on Sydney’s other side. His gaze lingered on you. He saw you in that dress, and he knew he was screwed.

Then, Luca returned to the table.

“Oh, hey man, it’s nice to see you.” Carmy said, recognizing Luca. They both exchanged some pleasantries. Carmy seemed excited to see an old friend. Luca walked behind Carmy and back to his seat next to you.

“I got you a drink.” Luca said, handing you a glass. You smiled up at him and thanked him. Carmy furrowed his eyebrows. He didn’t even think you both knew each other.

Luca’s hand softly grazed your back as he sat down beside you. “Do you umm…do you guys know each other?” Carmy asked. He was biting down on his lip.

“Carmy, Luca’s my date.” You said, watching as Carmy clenched his jaw. His grip tightened around his glass. You were almost concerned it would shatter. “Wait do you two know each other?” Luca played dumb, gesturing between you and Carmy.

“Yeah, we dated.” Carmy said, through clenched teeth. Luca slowly nodded his head like he was realizing the awkwardness of the situation.

Sydney covered her mouth as she tried not to laugh. Carmy was never someone who was able to mask his emotions. His jealousy was written all over his face.

“I’m surprised Claire isn’t here.” You said, with a tone colder than you meant to use. Carmy cocked his head to the side. “She uhh…had to work.” He said. He was thankful Claire wasn’t there. If she saw how jealous Carmy was acting, it’d lead to another fight. They’d been having a lot of fights about you.

Some other chef came up to introduce themselves to Carmy. Luca took the opportunity to reach over and grab your hand. Carmy saw the whole thing. Carmy moved his hands under the table, so no one could see how hard he was clenching his fists.

You and Carmy knew each other like the back of your hands, so neither of you missed any little subtle reactions.

Luca leaned over to you. “You were definitely right about this getting under his skin.” He whispered in your ear. You giggled, pretending like he’d just told you something funny.

Carmy rolled his eyes when he thought you weren’t looking. A second later, you saw a text pop up on your phone.

When you saw Carmy’s name, you grabbed your phone and held it in your lap. The text read:

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You had to stop yourself from laughing. Carmy was beyond easy to read. You quickly texted him back: “I didn’t think I had to. I didn’t even know you guys knew each other.”

Carmy was jealous enough that you had a date, but it was worse because Luca was one of his friends.

You saw Carmy huff as he read your message. Then, he furiously typed back a response.

“Oh, c’mon. You don’t think I know you well enough to know that’s bullshit? You should’ve told me.”

You turned off your phone and set it upside down on the table. One of the other chefs at the table started telling a story, which captured everyone’s attention except yours and Carmy’s.

Carmy kept looking over at the way your fingers were interlaced with Luca’s. He also saw how you both kept giddily smiling at each other.

You glanced over at Carmy after feeling him staring at you. He gestured towards the hallway. “Can we talk?” He mouthed to you. You shook your head and shifted your attention back to who was talking.

Towards the end of the party, Carmy was as frustrated as he could be. He’d watched you and Luca flirting all night. And you were ignoring him.

About half of the guests had left, and everyone was having small side conversations. Sydney had left because she had plans afterwards with her dad.

You and Luca were still chatting. Carmy was across the table as the guy next him continued rambling. Carmy wasn’t even paying attention to the conversation. His eyes were glued to you.

You grabbed ahold of Luca’s arm and then leaned over to whisper in his ear. You suggested a way to really make Carmy jealous. Luca played along.

Luca’s eyes went wide, and he rushed to stand up. He grabbed your hand and pulled you with him out to the lobby. You both did your best to pull eager expressions.

Carmy watched you both as you left. He couldn’t shake the pit in his stomach about where you both were going.

Luca pulled you into the one-person bathroom, leaving the door open just a crack. You both knew it was only a minute before Carmy came chasing after you.

“You’re an evil genius. Carmy is gonna lose his shit.” Luca said, laughing at your plan. You walked over to the sink and jumped up so you were sitting on the counter. You both were in a fit of laughter imagining Carmy’s reaction.

Until you heard quick footsteps in the hallway. Luca stepped towards you, and you pulled him to stand in between your legs. “You good?” He asked you, quietly. You quickly nodded, and you both started the show, knowing Carmy was close by.

Luca quickly kissed you. You wrapped your legs around his waist and kissed him back. You unbuttoned the top two buttons of his dress shirt. He ran his fingers through your hair, so it looked a little messy.

Just as you predicted, the door yanked open, and Carmy barged in.

“Carmy, what the fuck?” You asked, pulling out of the kiss.

Carmy’s face was bright red, half from anger and half from seeing you kissing his friend. “Hey, mate. C’mon now,” Luca said.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Carmy said, walking right up to Luca. Luca towered over Carmy, but right now Carmy didn’t care. He’d watched Luca put his hands on you, and he was pissed.

“Carm, leave him alone.” You said, jumping off the counter and standing in between the two men. Luca had a slight smirk. Carmy read it as cockiness, but you knew he was trying not to laugh.

“Do you think you can just put your hands all over her?” Carmy asked, looking past you at Luca.

You grabbed Carmy’s wrist. “That’s enough, Carm. Come on,” you said, dragging him out of the bathroom with you. Over Carmy’s shoulder, you saw Luca give you a thumbs up.

You pulled Carmy with you until you both were on the sidewalk outside the restaurant. You walked over next to where Carmy’s car was parked.

“Alright, Carmy, what the hell is up with you?” You asked, crossing your arms.

His eyes went wide. He wanted to be asking you the same thing. “Nothing's up with me. What about you? You never thought to tell me you were going out with my friend?” He snapped.

You rolled your eyes. “Why do I have to tell you anything. Remember, you and I aren’t dating anymore. I don’t owe you any information.” You told him. Carmy ran his fingers through his hair, huffing to himself.

“Because I care about you. Even if we’re not dating, I still consider you a friend.” He told you. You shook your head, taking a step back from him. “I told you that you couldn’t care about me as much as you do. You’re dating Claire.” You reminded him.

“Claire has nothing to do with this. This is about you pushing me away. I haven’t talked to you in weeks, and I miss talking to you. I know I messed up with the kiss, but you said you could forget it.” He said, his voice cracking slightly. You could tell that everything he was saying was true.

This is where the conversation became a lot more real for you. This wasn’t about your fake date anymore.

“Of course I pushed you away. Because I’m fucking scared, Carmy. When you get scared, you run away. I can’t trust that you’ll actually stay. Even just to be friends. If Claire asked you to stay away from me, you would.” You told him. Your chest felt tight as you finally told him how you’d felt for years. After Carmy broke things off, you’d never been able to get closure.

“I wouldn’t leave you like that.” He said, hurt by the implications.

You tried to take a deep breath, but you felt your eyes start to water. “You’ve done it before.” You snapped. He froze when he realized you were talking about Germany.

“Yeah, remember that I wanted to try long distance, but you got scared? So, you broke things off. You were my best friend, and you just called it quits.” You complained, a tear rolling down your cheek.

“I was trying to save us. I knew how wrong long distance could go. I didn’t want us to hate each other when we broke up.” He told you. You quickly wiped your tears off your cheeks. Carmy started pacing.

“It fucking killed me, Carm.” You said, looking over at him. He almost broke seeing the emotion on your face.

“So, that’s what all this was? This was all revenge? Ignoring me and going on a date with my friend. It was just to give me a taste of my own medicine?” He asked you. You shook your head and rolled your eyes.

“Oh my god, Carmy. Not everything is about you. Maybe I was ignoring you because it was hard seeing you with Claire. And then you tried to tell me you still loved me. I don’t deserve to have that dumped on my plate to deal with.” You told him. You were so irritated that Carmy still wasn’t understanding.

“Do you want me to apologize for how much you mean to me? Because I won’t do it.” He told you, crossing his arms.

“I just want you to acknowledge how fucked up it is that you keep trying to flip flop. You either love me or you don’t. But either way, figure it out and don’t drag me through this anymore—” Carmy cut you off with a kiss.

He grabbed your hips and nudged you back against the side of his car. You grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him close to you. He hesitated for a second.

“Luca’s inside,” he mumbled, stopping you. You shook your head. “We weren’t actually on a date. We did it to make you jealous.” You told him.

You realized that while Luca wasn’t an issue, Claire was.

“Of course you did,” Carmy said with a chuckle. He cupped your face and leaned in to kiss you again. You put your hands on his chest and pushed him away. “We…can’t,” you said, in between kisses.

He buried his face in your neck, pressing kisses to your skin. “Claire,” you mumbled. It was hard for you to not get distracted when Carmy’s lips were on you.

“What about her?” Carmy asked simply. He refocused his attention back on kissing your jawline. “Are you still with her?” You asked him, trying to stop your eyes from fluttering closed.

“Well yes but…” he started to say. You shook your head, moving his face so you could look him in the eyes. “No buts,” you told him firmly.

“I was planning on breaking it off tomorrow after I saw you in this dress tonight. I knew I’d never be able to get you off my mind.” He told you, letting his hands run along the curve of your back. He toyed with the fabric of your dress, caressing your sides.

You leaned into his touch. You always loved the way his hands felt on you. “We shouldn’t, until you tell her.” You said, even though every part of you wanted to kiss him again.

“I’m going to tell her. I promise. I won’t chicken out.” He assured you, noticing your hesitancy.

“We still should wait.” You said. The phrase came out more like a question than a statement. He leaned in closer to you. His nose brushed against yours. “Or we could…” he said, not needing to finish the sentence for you to know what he meant.

You grabbed his collar again and pulled him in to kiss you. He feverishly kissed you back. He quickly reached around his pockets to fish out his car keys.

He unlocked the car door and pulled the back door open for you. You practically jumped into the back seat. Carmy looked around before joining you in the car.

“We’ve waited five years. That feels like enough.” You said, in between kissing him.

“So long— too long,” Carmy corrected himself.

You cupped his face as you kissed him. He playfully nipped at your bottom lip before sneaking his tongue into your mouth. His hands were gripping onto your thighs as your legs wrapped around his waist. His lips tasted like the scotch he’d been drinking.

You were like a drug to Carmy. After not having you for so long, he couldn’t get enough of you. Especially not after hearing you whimper when he pushed his hips against yours.

He sat up quickly to shrug his jacket off his shoulders. You grabbed it and tossed it into the front seat.

You admired him as he straddled you. “You look so pretty staring at up me.” He said, leaning down to peck your lips.

Impatiently, you started unbuttoning the buttons on his shirt while he undid his tie. You ripped his shirt off his arms, letting it fall to the floor. His tie followed behind it.

You were silent as you admired Carmy. You ran your fingers over his chest, admiring his toned chest. “You really…wow,” you mumbled.

He laid you back down on the seat. “You’re getting to admire me, but I’m not getting to see you, gorgeous,” he whispered into your ear. You shivered as you felt his breath on your neck.

He reached down to the bottom of your dress and pulled it over your head. “You look fuckin’ breathtaking,” he said as his lips ghosted down your neck.

He placed a kiss on your lips and then started placing lips down your neck and down your chest. You almost whined as he placed a kiss right between your breasts. He continued leaving sloppy kisses down in a line til he got right above your panties.

He stopped and looked up at you with a smirk. “Such a tease,” you mumbled, pulling his lips back to yours.

“Normally, I’d make you wait a little bit, but I think we’ve both done enough waiting.” He said, slipping his fingers under your bra straps and tugging them off your shoulders.

“C’mere, sweetheart, can’t reach behind ya,” he said, pulling you both up.

He was sitting on the seat with you straddling his lap. You reached behind your back and quickly undid your bra. It fell into Carmy’s lap. You watched his eyes go wide, and you could feel his pants start to tighten below you.

You leaned forward and kissed Carmy’s neck. You started softly sucking on the skin. Carmy leaned his head back against the seat. A low groan escaped his lips.

You reached down to unbuckle his belt. You pulled his pants down to hang around his ankles. You could see how strained his boxers were.

“You’re not gonna leave me, Berzatto?” You asked him. He quickly shook his head. “Never leavin’ you ever again,” he said, reaching out to grab your hips.

You tugged down his boxers enough for his cock to spring out. “You look so fuckin’ sexy.” He groaned, biting down on his lip as he watched you.

He grabbed your hips and held you up as you lined him up. You slowly sunk down on him. You let out a muffled moan as you bit your lip. Carmy sighed and threw his head back.

“Oh my god, Carm,” you mumbled as he stretched you out. He nodded with his eyes tightly closed.

You braced your hands on his shoulders and pulled yourself up and sunk back down onto his length. “Oh…god, you feel— perfect,” Carmy groaned.

He massaged one your breasts in his hand, rolling your nipple between his thumb and pointer finger. A high-pitched whine escaped your lips. “That feel good, baby?” Carmy asked, growing cockier by the second. He attached his lips to your other breast, softly sucking and biting.

You quickly nodded your head as you continued to your roll your hips against his. “I’m gonna mark you up so good, sweatheart,” Carmy told you as continued sucking on your soft skin.

“Make me yours, Carm,” you begged. You quickened your pace, slamming your hips down into his. The sound of your skin slapping against his filled the car.

Your eyes rolled back as Carmy hit your g-spot. You desperately tried to grab onto something. Your fingers missed the headrest and slid across the foggy window.

Carmy was mumbling profanities under his breath. His hips thrusted up to meet yours. He got too eager, and you hit the back of your head against the roof of the car.

“Ow, fuck,” you muttered as Carmy cupped the back of your head with his hand.

“C’mere,” he said, slipping his arms around your waist. He pulled you against his chest and shifted you both so you were laying down with him on top of you.

“You don’t have to do any of the work. Just let me treat you real nice,” he told you. He roughly grabbed your legs and wrapped them around his waist.

With the new angle, he reached even deeper inside of you. “Oh, fuck fuck fuck,” you muttered, weaving your fingers through Carmy’s hair.

“That feel good?” He asked you, thrusting quicker into you. You ferociously nodded. “Yeah, you fill me up so good.” You praised him. Your moans only encouraging Carmy to go faster.

“Almost there, sweetheart,” he mumbled. He reached down and starting rubbing circles on your clit with his thumb.

“Fuck, Carmy,” you yelled out. He kissed you to help muffle your moans. You could feel a tightening in your stomach. You were seeing stars.

You both were distracted when you heard something vibrating on the floor. You both quickly glanced over and saw Carmy’s phone with Claire’s name scrolling across the top. “Oh, shit,” you mumbled, “do you need to—” you started to ask before Carmy stopped you by pressing down on your clit for a second.

Your hips bucked up against his. A loud whine fell from your lips. “Don’t be silly, sweetheart. I’m not answering her call when I’m this deep inside you. Tonight’s all about you, not her.” He mumbled against your neck. He pressed sloppy kisses against your throat.

“Y’know, she knew she couldn’t compete with you. She knew you and me were meant for each other.” He told you.

Your nails scratched down Carmy’s back as you got closer to your high. “Please, Carmy— faster,” you begged him. He quickly obliged.

The sound of you both panting filled the car. His thrusts started to falter. “Look at me, baby. Wanna watch you fall apart,” he mumbled into the crook of your neck.

You balled your hands up in his hair, tugging on his curls. “I’m gonna—” you whined. His hips sped up, ramming into yours. “Yeah, me too,” he said in between groans.

You felt him twitch, and you both came together. A long string of profanities came rolling out of your mouth. He leaned back down to kiss you. His thrusts slowed down as he helped you both cool down.

He pulled out of you and flipped you over so he was laying down with you on top of him. He brushed your hair out of your face, which was pretty sweaty now.

“I fuckin’ love you. No running, you’re it for me.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to your temple.

taglist: @laurakirsten0502 @miraclesoflove @nathaliabakes @millipop18 @lillyssh-tposts @shyinadarkplace @vanteguccir @missroro @guacam011y @sw33t-cupid @ice-dtae @leyannrae @sia2raw @nyx2021 @just-a-littlebit-of-everything @shyconversationalbookworm @shadowhuntyi @visenyaverse @ruzannetheseahorse @superdeath @wandaswifeyforlifey @spookyqueen @mcuswhore @princess-evans-addict @n3ssm0nique @peakascum @cjand10 @namsey1987 @supernaturalstilinski @stephv213 @warriormirkwood @one-sweet-gubler @narliesstuff @bibissparkles @stupiidfrogs @navs-bhat @mattsfavbigtitties @the-sylver-dragon @0-n-1-x @delicateholland @kythefangirl25 @bwoah-its-g @lillysfrogsandbogs @4ria790 @parkerm8001

Let me know if you want to be added to my taglist for all my imagines or for a specific character/fandom!!

[hello-nichya-here]

How NOT to write romance - How I Met Your Mother edition

Warning: long-ass post and lots of bitterness over a TV show that ended nearly eight years ago.

Basics for story-telling

If the romance you want to write is dysfunctional, fucking embrace it and have fun with the concept instead of pretending the bad shit the characters do is okay because “it’s true love”

Acknowledgde that your main character has flaws instead of acting like he is a saint who can do no wrong for no reason other than “he is the main character. Definitively don’t make him do, of his own free will, the exact exact same things the supposedly “selfish and cruel” womanizer does and then excuse it as him having “succumbed to/been tricked by a bad influece” like he’s child who doesn’t know any better instead of being a grown ass adult.

Don’t make your characters be annoying, entitled fuckers who think they have the right to judge others for wanting different things out of a relationship/not wanting a relationship at all. Don’t act like monogamy, double dates with other couples, marriage and children are something EVERYONE secretly wants deep down.

Don’t demonize the “evil” character of the group and act like the “heroes” being appalled by the shit he does is anything other than hypocricy. There’s literally nothing forcing them to be friends with him, so they’re obviously not as horrified at bad shit he does as they say they are, otherwise they would have ditched him a long time ago.

Don’t have the “heartless womanizer”,  who we later find out is the ex-husband of the girl the lead wanted for himself, be shown to us exclusively through the eyes of the an unreliable narrator who had motivation to make him see worse than he is likely to be (get his kids to want him to get the girl instead of the “douchebag”). Also, don’t make his schemes to trick women into sleeping with them so completely absurd and ridiculous that the audience is pretty sure that 70% of the women he banged were completely aware he just wanted a quick fuck and went along with it anyway because they wanted some dick (and because the character is played by Neil Patric Harris, who is incapable of not being charismatic)

Fucking let you characters (especially the supposed hero we’re supposed to think is the best boyfriend ever) grow instead of making them constantly repeat the same mistakes

Lily and Marshall

Don’t make one of the characters hide something very important from their partner, and then have the audacity to be mad at them for “just not understanding” as if they were given any reason to understand what the problem even is

Don’t act like someone being heartbroken that their partner lied to them and practically made a plan to “escape” being married to them means they’re not being “supportive” of said partners dream - you should especially not do that after we were shown that they took a job they didn’t like just to make sure they’d have a secure future that would allow said partner to follow their dream.

Don’t have the character who was obviously in the wrong need to be convinced to get their shit together and apologize to their ex.

If a character forgave the ex who wronged them and even got back together with them, don’t have them constantly hold their past mistakes over their head like it that problem has not already been solved - you especially not make them do that on what was supposed to be their wedding day. They can either forgive their partner or not, they can’t keep going back and forth.

Don’t have them constantly hide important shit from each other (having a huge financial debt, getting a job, etc)

DO NOT have the character who fucked up years prior suddenly be willing to do the same shit again for the EXACT same reason (”I think our relationship is in the way of my dreams and I’m now completely isolated because I refuse to talk things out with you”) and then expect the audience to sympathize with them.

Ted and Robin 

Unless you’re writing a Disney/Disney-esque romance, don’t have your lead just look at someone across the room, decide they’re “The one”, imagine their life together and full on say “I’m love with you” AND “I love you” on the first goddamn date.

Don’t have the lead stalk his love interest, and throw three parties in a row just to have an excuse to get close to her now that she made it clear she is not interested in having a relationship with him.

Don’t have the “hero” lie about having broken up with his girlfriend so the girl he wants to be with will sleep with him, and then have him blame his actions on time. “Nothing good happens after 2 a.m.” Grow a pair of balls, Ted!

If one of the characters says “You’re going too fast on the whole ‘love’ thing. Can’t we just go on a few dates and see what happens instead of already starting to plan our lives together?” and the others throws a fit, that is called “being incompatible” and “damn, this dude doesn’t respect boundaries”, not “Wow, she’s so afraid of commitment”

If you want the audience to believe the main character’s feelings are not one-sided, don’t make the fact that said feelings ARE unrequited a running joke, and don’t have the girl only accept giving him a chance after having to deal with the fucker whining “But I love you” for months and/or after going through bad break ups. Also, if you have to retcon half the fucking show to “proove” that “she DOES love him”, that pairing fucking sucks.

Don’t compare the couple you want the audience to root for to the main character’s divorced, dysfunctional parents, and don’t have flashbacks showing that the lead had no clue what his girlfriend actually liked in bed AND that she literally covered up his face so she could pretend she was fucking someone else.

DON’T MAKE HER GET RID OF HER DOGS, YOU FUCKING MONSTER!

If your lead character is still jealous/possessive of his ex, thinks he still has a chance even after she told him to his face that she didn’t love him, and acts like she and her fiance (who he says is his friend) being happy is somehow them being selfish and cruel, your lead character is a loser AND an asshole.

Don’t throw away the entire premise of the show (Ted finding the REAL love of his life) just to force a bad pairing down the audience’s throat

Ted Mosby in general

Don’t have your “romantic, sensitive hero” break up with a girl on her birthday through an answering machine, come back into her life without warning years later because he’s afraid he’ll die alone, and find out that she never heard the message but was actually told about it by her friends and family who were at her apartment preparing a surprise party for her. You should especially not make his first reaction to this new be being mad that he was not invited to the party, and for the love of God, don’t make him break up with her on her birthday AGAIN.

Don’t have the “hero” cheat on his girlfriend and excuse it with bullshit like “Nothing good happens 2 a.m.” and “But I genuinely love Robin so it’s okay that I’m lying to both of them”. Do not, I repeat, do NOT have him blame it on his girlfriend being distant when she didn’t pick up the phone one night and then called back the second she was free to do so, while he was enjoying the gifts she sent him and LIED to her about having sent her some as well.

Don’t fucking make an entire episode with the premise of him turning a no into a yes - and telling that story to his children like it’s romantic.

Don’t have his fiance, who he knows has a rocky relationship with the father of her daughter, tell him she is uncomfortable with him inviting his ex to their wedding and then have him decide “This means I should invite her ex as well”. Also don’t expect me to feel bad for him when she runs off with said ex.

Don’t have him spend YEARS waiting for one of the hundreds of girls he thinks is “the one” to be single and even ask her neighbour to spy on her and let him know when/if she breaks up with her boyfriend - again, for YEARS.

Don’t have the lead say he’s gonna tell their kids about his love story with their DECEASED mother, only for it to secretly be an excuse for him to go “By the way, I’m still in love with aunt Robin despite her having rejected me for 25 years, can I go screw her?”

Don’t act like making the characters reverse back into who they were at the beginning at the story means they’re gonna make things work this time when the whole point of their break up in the beginning on the story was the fact that they’re just not right for each other.

Robin and Kevin

A therapist who was supposed to help their patient move on after a bad break up that messed them up, dating said patient is a major red flag. It is also a bad sign that, when she cheats on him and wants to break up, he realized what she was doing to used his job as “evidence” that he knew better and that she should NOT tell her partner how she felt/what she actually wanted.

Do NOT have said therapist date yet ANOTHER patient that asked him help to move on from a bad break up. Seriously, Kevin was a creep, stop acting like he was some angel who “deserved better than Robin.”

BONUS: How NOT to break up a couple - Barney and Robin edition

Don’t act like their relationship falling appart after their friends kept meddling, and even kept them locked in a room against their will until they labeled their relationship as something they aproved of, is somehow “proof” that they’re not good for each other.

Don’t retcon their relationship to force a break up (seriously, Barney was super supportive of Robin long before he even fell in love with her, but I’m supposed to believe he’d be a bad boyfriend who is never there for her? And he loved advantures and always said “challenge accepted”, but was suddenly miserable travelling the world with her and couldn’t deal with not having wi-fi at the hotel? Fuck off)

Don’t spend an entire season focusing on their wedding, have them get married and then divorce THE NEXT FUCKING EPISODE! Why do you hate your audience? Even people who don’t want them together can see this a terrible idea.

And most important of all, when people question what the fuck were you thinking, don’t have a meltdown on twitter and say that people who think Barney can change are responsible for Donald Trump being elected, you fucking weirdo, go see a therapist (that isn’t like Kevin)

[theficplug]

Taking Erik To The Beauty Supply Store 2 / Barber Shop With Erik

Erik Killmonger x Black Reader

Warnings : mature/sexual conversations?

it's a regular day in the stevens household. going to the beauty supply store again & the barber shop but hey it's fun cause it's you and your man.

First taking Erik to the beauty supply store fic:

“I could beat the brake off her lying ass. First of all, I should’ve known something was up cause she asked me if I’m natural. I said yes. She said well I normally do relaxed hair.. Then said you got to have your hair washed and blow dried already… Talking about she was going to have me serving 90s Nia Long. This bitch got me looking like big momma when she came home for that motherfucking party.” You continue your rant as Erik moves around the room looking for your body butter and your fluffy shoes to put on for the day.

You wanted a cute 90s pixie cut to go along with the theme of the maternity shoot which was like the cheesy 90s mall style set with the faded backdrop.

180 dollars and a lopsided , almost a golden bob later and you are still thinking about snatching her out of that salon.

“I’m gonna try and trim it up myself and dye it before the maternity photos tomorrow. But I’mma get two wigs just in case I mess up.” You explain to Erik as he begins to spread the body butter up your legs leaving a golden glow on your skin.

“Not you down there cackling after getting some hang time on the locs you been growing since high school... It’s quiet, ain't no back talk.” You banter with him and he stops massaging your legs to give you a look and laughs softly before giving you a retort of his own.

“You got a lot to say for somebody that can’t even lotion they ashy lil knees.”

“Your daughter been pushing against my organs for 8 and a half months. I don’t wanna hear nothing unless its about my push present. You know that I like rings… My engagement ring looking reeeealll lonely.” you say to him as you dangle your hand in front of his face.

“You look so fucking good today baby… Say, Big Fine, lemme get your number… I’mma eat the f-” he trails off kissing your legs and letting his tongue trail up it and you grab his chin softly.

“Boy if you don’t come on before you be late for your appointment… Can I stop and get a blue raspberry slushie first though?” you ask him and he sighs softly before giving you a small smile and nodding.

“Yeah, hold on let me grab your shoes and purse and then we can go.”

“And obviously yes when we come back before I install that lace front you can beat, duh.” you reply to him before giving him a peck to his lips.

After he grabs everything and helps you down the stairs. And with his help of putting you into his big ass truck you two are on your way.

“We’re going to get my hair cut first cause I already know you’re going to want to go to 2 different stores and it’s only gon’ take him about 15 minutes at the most to line me up.”

He wasn’t lying with the way that you liked to scan every section of the store before you left because to be honest where else were you going to get a pair of skittle shorts, bomb ass lip glosses, and a cute little panda hand sanitizer holder all in one place?

“Okay, sounds like a plan.. The way that I was supposed to have a hot girl summer this year and ended up with a damn its too hot for me to even put my clothes on mom summer. You really were not playing about trying to start a family on your birthday.” you joke as you crunch on your goldfish and look over at Erik.

“I think you just got finer through this whole thing. Watching my baby grow my baby is something surreal. In the beginning watching you go through all of the morning sickness and the body aches and stuff. I felt so bad you know not being able to physically take on all that was going on with you. I aint gon’ never not be appreciative and awe of you.” Erik replies with a serious comment that you were not expecting and you’d be damned if the hormones aren’t doing their thing.

“I really did not expect you to say that. Baabbbee, come on. You know I cry about everything right now. Love you.” you lean over to wrap your arms around him gently and kiss the side of his face while he’s focusing on the road.

“I love you too…. I think I’mma get my locs cut off soon. I don’t know why I’m ready to get a fade and just call it a day.” he questions before looking over at you briefly

“Either way you still gonna look good. I knew you before you even got your locs so you’re gonna look even better now because you grew into your head. Dee be cutting the fuck outta your hair even though he been bald for a good 40 years.” you say and it causes Erik to let out a loud laugh and shake his head.

You eventually ended up ordering a blue raspberry lemonade slushie, a hotdog and fries because Sonic basically took all of Erik's money at this point in your pregnancy.

The rest of your ride was chill as you both swayed to the music or turned it down for a little chat every now and then.

In public was always very protective of you but especially since becoming pregnant he has been hovering over you like a lion waiting for someone to even look at you for too long.

He hops out of the sleek matte black truck first to help you out and sling his arm around your waist with a hand resting on your belly.

You feel some eyes on you as you walk through the door. Your multi-coloured sundress that showcased your back, flowing with you.

Some of the men, new to the shop you assumed, were eyeing you down before Erik looked over their way and nods at them and they pretended to check their phones.

“What's up E? Damn lil sis look like she’s about to pop! How you feeling baby girl?” Dee greets you and Erik as you both walk in and some of the regulars in there say hey to the both of you.

“I’m alright Dee. Baby is just really ready to see the world. She has been kicking up a storm at times. I think we might have a little athlete here.” you reply and you watch as the greyed man with freckles across his cheeks and bridge of his nose eyes crinkle as he finishes cutting the man's hair sitting in the chair.

“I remember when I became a father for the first time. Shits wild because you think that you know everything there is to know and then when you actually see your baby take that first breath. It’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before.” He continues as he shows you a photo of his 4 children and you give him a small smile.

“Ooh, they’re beautiful.” you compliment him as you settle into your seat and scroll on your phone on your phone waiting for Erik to be next.

Some time went by and the men seemed like they were trying to keep their conversation in a hush and you can see some eyes on you as they talked back and forth.

“I’m just saying if you want a threesome with your girl and you expect her to be okay with letting another woman into her bed. You need to match her energy. Could you imagine your girl asking you to bring a whole nother man into your room if that’s not what you’re into? Instead of asking for it. Maybe try bringing toys into the situation. Could spice it up a notch and be in both of your comfort zones. Personally, couples vibrators seem to do the trick just fine.” You advise as you look up from scrolling on your Pinterest feed.

The little huddle of them in front of you stopped talking and immediately looked up at you in silence before Dee’s laugh broke it.

“I don’t know about bringing another man in. That ain't my thing but I get what you're saying. Which ones would you recommend?” The one named Leron asked and you notice Erik is now paying attention , looking from you to them to make sure they stay respectful.

“You better let them know , baby girl! That’s how that baby popped into fruition. She got you with the tantric breathing, huh E?” he jokes and Erik cracks into a smile, his golds gleaming as he looks at you.

“She not wrong. Engage in what your woman like too. Yoga, talking during sex, giving as much as you receive from her, all that. ” He says casually and shrugging and you give him a small smile cause this man done come so far from when you met him.

After he finishes lining up his beard, Erik pays and you’re on your way to one of your favourite places.

“You look so sexy. Your beard is all lined up crisp and stuff. I told you that beard oil was gonna even it out.” you say to him and kiss him below his ear . His hand gripped your thigh gently and you repeated it again.

It didn’t take long before you were at one of your favourite places.

You turned to Erik and asked him to buy a stocking cap for you to try on the wigs that you liked and wanted to see before you purchased it.

You slid on the stocking cap over your hair before grabbing a cute little 27 piece pixie cut wig just to try it on and see what it was giving . You finger combed it and turned to Erik to ask him how it looks.

“Like you finna start singing “Truth is i’m tired. Take me to the king. Here’s my offering-” .” You hold in your laugh as you push Erik’s chest and he grabs your hands.

“I can’t stand your ass !” You say cracking up and Erik grabs the stocking cap from his pocket that he brought himself and slides it over his locs.

You watch as he grabs one of the bobs from the mannequin and sits it half cocked on his head before shaking it side to side.

“What’s cooler than being cool? Ice cold. You know what to do doooo. You know what to doooo.... This is your grand daddy. This is your grand daddy.” Erik starts acting like Andre 3000 and Mr. Brown. You swear this man was gonna make you push out this baby with how hard you were laughing at him.

“Why are you moving your lips like thaaat? What’s your name? B.O.B, so they calling you Bob? Stop playing nigga you know that I’m known for the bob.” you sing the nicki minaj lyrics to him and both of y’all get a good laugh before he takes off the wig and places it carefully back on the mannequin.

He looks over at the one that looked the most like your hair before you got it cut and slides it on.

His expressions changed and he narrowed his eyes at you before putting his hand on his stomach.

“Whew, my god E. You did this to me and for what? My ankles looking like cornbread huh? Look at this shit bae! If my nose swells for real in these next months, we fighting. Damn, I’m getting thick. I look like I'm pregnant in the front and the back. Can you get me two shrimp po’boys and some fries on the way home? ERIK, wake up- You our baby look like Stitch in this ultrasound? Stop playing , im for real.” he sounds exactly like you and mimicked your expressions to a t.

You giggled softly and snatched his wig off leaving him standing there looking crazy in the cap.

“You wanna fight?” You ask him before walking up on him like you’re on bad girls club and swinging the wig at him.

He helped you put the wig back on the mannequin and kissed both of your hands before continuing through the aisle with you.

You both ignored how many times the employee passed by or watched you as you grabbed some of the products from the shelf and put it into your little cart that you wanted to try.

“You wish this was you, huh? You wanted to be Future from 8 Mile so bad, huh? ” you ask Erik , laughing as you point to the full lace faux locs wig that’s in front of you and he shakes his head.

“She got you down bad. This you?” he asks you as he points to the lil gold church wig that’s sitting on the top shelf and you suck your teeth at him .

“You wanna dip dye your hair for tomorrow? A pretty auburn colour would look so good on you or even a baby blue?” You ask him as you move away from the wigs after deciding to put a off black lace front straight wig in your cart and another in sandy blonde with deep waves.

You scan the shelf of dye as Erik wraps his arm around your waist and takes a look.

“This one looks good right here.” He adds as he hands you a colour called Electric Blue.

“This is gonna look so good on you bae.” You compliment him and he leans down to kiss you softly.

“You only tryna compliment me cause you want me to help you install that wig. You think you slick bae.” he calls as he walks off towards the hair care products for his locs.

“Well, if I’m finna use the little energy I have to retwist your hair you could at least extend the helping hand!” You call after him.

“I haven’t tried peppermint oil yet but it should be good to add to my mix? Look, I found this small ass bonnet. She’s gonna be able to match us.” He says walking back to you and showing you the lilac bonnet in his hand and you swear you were about to tear up again cause all 3 of you were gonna have matching bonnets and durag.

“If she takes after both of us she’s gonna have a head full of hair. To cover that melon from your side.” You tease him

“Come on and grab your butterfly wings for your eyes so we can go home and finish our show. I’mma cook them snow crabs for you too.” he says to you and you can see him watching you like you hung the moon in the sky yourself as you venture off.

You grabbed the edge control, lashes, a new lipstick, earrings, glosses, Got2b spray, and some accessories for Erik’s hair before meeting him at the counter.

It took him all of two seconds to pay for your beauty supply store addiction and you were off on your way back to the crib to love on him.

Erik was currently standing behind you while you sat in the chair in his old large tshirt and held down the wig to the Ghost Bond glue.

You were talking him through helping you finish the install because you just didn't have the energy to do it.

“Okay you gon’ take a lil piece and wrap it around the wand. But please be careful baby. This one goes from like 0 to a 400 degrees so fast.” you warn and watch in the mirror as he takes the first piece and follows your instructions.

You watch him for a while focusing on your head and asking if you liked the way that it’s turning out. You smile softly at him and nod.

“I'm so grateful , you know. “ you say to him with a pout

“Damn, I was just about to send you a do you like me back yes or no text after this too.” he jokes and you shake your head.

“I’m tryna be serious and appreciate you-” you are cut off by him leaning down and pushing his plump lips out for a kiss from you

“I love you too. 2 more weeks and I get to have my two babies in my arms. What more could I want? ”

Tag list: @doublesidedscoobysnacks

@chaneajoyyy

@mirandkimy

@doitforthevine67

@dasia21

@depressionandfandomsinc

@wholelotta-melanin

@theesotericqueen

@mbakuwife

@spookys-girl

@teardropzih

@bigchoose

@ceo-of-baby

@sweetpeachjones

@lost-ssoull

@shyblackgurl

@nijajoha

@imayhavemisunderstood

(Long post. Sorry I'm still learning how to do the read more thing! Sorry for being gone from here for so long. This one really helped me ease back into writing especially after how much love the first one received!)

[introverted-sugar]

Ugh 😑

Heads up, this is a minor rant! Proceed with caution.

I feel like such a shit friend for what I’m about to express but I have to get this off of my chest because I have no one else to complain to. Also, I know I’m a great friend but I’m very particular about how I do things and I need to be at peace when I’m somewhere

So, my birthday is in a few days and I’m going to Miami/islamorada/key west for 10 days. I’ll be in Miami for 4 days with my girl best friend, and then “Travel daddy” the remainder of the trip.

So me and my best friend are similar in the sense of us being laid back and chill, we don’t do too much, when we go out we’re not twerking on table tops or fighting or any of that ratchet bullshit (now don’t get me wrong, you put the right song on and I’ll shake these cheeks but i just don’t like that type of attention, I sucked as a stripper 😂) But we are also VERY different. I like to try new things, eat at kind of fancy restaurants (if I’m paying, VERY fancy on a “mans” dime 💁🏽‍♀️) , I don’t like to go to clubs and if I do I’m definitely leaving early, lounge by the beach/pool, swim, snorkel, bike ride etc. So I’ve been trying to plan stuff for us to do but it’s hard because I have to take her into consideration (I’m used to traveling alone or with some man that’s trying to please me so I’m usually able to just do what I want )

Here is a list of grievances & concerns I have thus far:

1: She doesn’t really like sushi. Yes, that’s petty but I have dinner reservations the night of my birthday at a sushi place with a tasting menu. She said she was okay with going but eh idk, and then is she going to be cool with the price tag of the tasting menu? Any tasting I’ve ever done all the people at the table had to do the tasting menu

2: Piggy backing off of the first point, her sister is flying in the same day we are to help her friend that’s getting a BBL down there (😑, I’ll explain why I’m not a fan of her sister later) but we arrive at like 12, she’ll be arriving around 8 pm..the time I made reservations at the sushi spot. So earlier we were on the phone and she said “oh yeah such and such gets there around 8 I told her WE would come pick her up from the airport” Pause! WHO? Not I! I said “that’s the time our reservations are for” she was like “oh well she can just meet us there” 🤦🏽‍♀️ now remember I said I don’t do too much, I’m quiet and reserved. Her sister, not so much. She’s not about to embarrass me and she’s DEF not chilling at the hotel with her loud ass. My thing is, how tf you inviting people to MY birthday dinner. I honestly don’t wanna see her sister at all while we’re there, but I’m willing to meet her somewhere for an hour or so and then leave ✌🏽

(I don’t like her sister because the very first time I met her a couple years ago on NYE she basically got us involved in a literal BRAWL at a HOUSE PARTY in the heart of west philly of all places 😑 long story short the whole party beat her sisters ass for walking in and tAlking shit, and then Her sister stole someones whole car at the party, I guess when they were jumping her someone’s keys fell out of their pocket so she took the keys and figures out which car it belonged to and stole it, like it was just a ghetto ass mess)

3: She keeps asking me the same questions over and over. We have had this trip booked for MONTHS, literally, I like to be organized and plan shit out, but every week or so it’s “so where are we staying again” “how much is it” “do you think my hair will last if I get a frontal” to which I replied BITCH NEVER, just get braids or locs, of course she just got a sewin/frontal earlier…okay but I warned you sis😖. now mind you this will be her first time in Miami so she wasn’t really trying to pay the price (half) for the hotel I booked. I’ve been to Miami plenty of times on top of actually living there and there’s no better deal we’re going to get on south beach, with all the amenities that the hotel offers, I’m very good at planning and booking trips and finding the best deals so I was highly irritated when just a week before our trip shes tryna find cheaper places. I told her she can look but it needs to at least •be in south beach •be on collins/ocean drive and •have a pool (unless she could find an Airbnb). Y’all she sent me all these bullshit ass links to places in HOLLYWOOD (which I actually love but I said south beach…), Miami Gardens 🤮, and ft. Lauderdale and they didn’t have any amenities and were MORE money. In my head I was like “bruh nevermind we’re staying where we’re staying, you don’t need to do ANYMORE looking” 🙅🏽‍♀️

4: she doesn’t like the water or swimming. That’s the main reason I even go to Florida so often for the water, like literally. I’m not a fan of most beaches up north (Giants neck beach In CT Is awesome though, Maine has some nice ones too but it’s just so cold even on a very hot summer day, jersey has a few as well but mainly I like clear waters) So anyway, I wanted to book this snorkel/boat tour/key west tour but she doesn’t want to do it because 1: she doesn’t wanna snorkel but 2: we would have to leave at 6:30 am and she doesn’t get up until like 12 🙄 I feel like I’m limited as to what I can do

5: She still hasn’t sent me her half of the hotel fee and we leave Tuesday…it’s Saturday. She’s been saying “imma send it tomorrow” for like 2 weeks now and telling me about her car troubles

6: As I mentioned she wakes up late, which means she goes to bed late. The latest I go to bed is like 12 but when I’m on “vacation” I tend to drink more than I normally would so I go to sleep early. Shit when me and travel daddy went to all those vineyards I legit took naps mid day to keep up 😂 I’m worried she’s gonna keep me up like she did last month when I spent the night at her house, I was HIGHLY irritated and it was only one night

I’m seriously pondering why tf I thought this was a good idea. Lowkey I didn’t think it was a good idea but we’ve never traveled together and she’s never been to Miami (she’s the reason we’re even going to Miami because I’ve BEEN over Miami, it’s packed and overrated but I thought it would be a cute thing for us to do)

It doesn’t matter how cool you are with someone you have to have the right travel buddy and just because you get along doesn’t mean you should travel together. Sadly, I can already tell you this is our last trip together

The irony is I was sooo hesitant and complaining about going on the WPB trip but ended up having a blast, but we also had a huge villa and everyone had privacy, and I only personally knew one person so at first I didn’t feel super obligated to be all chummy with his friends, but I loved all of them they were so much fun and liked to do the stuff I like to do, it really was such a bomb trip I wish I could show you guys all the cute pics and videos we took, REALLY great vibes

I love my best friend to death but I’m so apprehensive about this trip. We don’t even chill that often on the regular, mainly because we’re both just busy or live kind of far from eachother but I’m that friend that loves you…from afar, every now and then she’ll drag me out to some lounge and I’m always ready to go early it’s just not my scene, I wanna be in bed damnit! 😩

Am I just being a brat? What do you guys think?

[kpophours]

Sweet Night (M)

➵ Stray Kids: Bang Chan x fem. reader / one shot, college AU, camping trip AU / fluff, smut / REQUESTED

➵ warnings: slight cursing, explicit mentions of sex (slight public teasing, orgasm denial, oral: receiving, slight choking)

➵ word count: 6k (lol oops)

a/n: after a few anon requests/inquiries, I decided to write this one shot as the second part to Way to You - you can absolutely read this on its own though.

I’M WALKING ON SUNSHINE, OOOOOOH! I’M WALKING ON-

Your eyes fly open as soon as the song starts blaring from somewhere beside you, and you blindly fumble for the alarm clock, thankfully managing to find the off-switch quite quickly. This very annoying clock was a horrible yet also kinda thoughtful birthday gift from Chan’s roommates, as it’s quite possibly the loudest one on the market, meaning it is able to wake literally anyone. It could probably even wake Dracula from his deep slumber in the depths of his castle somewhere in Romania. And while Chan might not be a vampire, he isn’t one to wake easily either, so this extremely loud alarm clock was the only solution your friends had been able to come up with. Which sadly means you experience something close to a heart attack every morning - or well, at least a few times a week, as you do still spend some nights at the apartment you share with Jisung. 

You fall back into the pillows, heart still racing from the sudden noise. Pale sunlight filters through the curtains and into the otherwise dark room. You groan, blinking against the rays of light hitting you straight in the face, and turn around to cuddle into your boyfriend’s broad back. He hums, only half-awake himself, and turns around to wrap both arms around you, leaving a lazy kiss on your forehead. 

Suddenly, there’s a crash from somewhere in the house, and you jump. Chan sighs deeply, and murmurs “Hyunjin, probably.” under his breath - it’s no secret that his roommate is a walking disaster. You don’t answer, only pressing a soft kiss on his naked chest. “How’d you sleep?”, he asks, one hand beginning to trace gentle patterns on your bare back. “Like a rock - which was exactly what I needed after my midterms.”, you answer, and he nods. “You more than deserved that, babe. I’m really proud of you, by the way. I’m sure you aced all your exams.”, he says, and you can’t help but smile at his sweet words. You look up at him, gently cupping his cheek, and kiss him. He basically melts against you, pulling you even closer towards him, and bites down on your lower lip to slide his tongue into your mouth. Before this can end in a steamy morning make-out session, there’s a knock on Chan’s door. He groans and draws back from you, expression grumpy. “What?”, he then yells, shooting daggers towards his door. “Just wanted to make sure you’re up, we’re supposed to be leaving in an hour!”, Felix answers, sounding way too cheerful so early in the morning. “Ugh, I hate morning people. Just once I want to get up in the morning without having to go through the seven stages of grief first.”, you mumble, your warm breath tickling Chan’s neck and making him giggle and wiggle away from you. “Yeah, we’re up!”, he quickly answers Felix, who shuffles away from the door, before turning towards you again, “Wait, aren’t there only five stages of grief? What are your extra two?” “Denial part two and astral projection.”, you answer, and Chan laughs before giving you a soft smile, brushing some of your hair out of your face. 

“Breakfast?”, he then asks, and you nod. “Absolutely. I need coffee, and lots of it.”, you agree, and he rolls his eyes. “I swear, by now there’s definitely coffee running through your veins instead of blood.”, Chan mumbles, before jumping out of bed to grab his underwear from the floor. You just chuckle and follow him, but can’t seem to find your bra anywhere. “What the Hell…”, you mumble under your breath, twirling around once in a desperate attempt to locate it. “Uh. Looking for this?”, Chan asks and you follow his gaze. You both burst into loud laughter when you spot your bra happily dangling from the ceiling light. “Well, we had to be very fast yesterday evening. Clothes went flying, and quite literally it seems.”, you say, lips twitching while you stand on your tiptoes to get your bra, and Chan nods in agreement. “Very fast indeed - but we couldn’t let the others begin the movie night without us! We had valid reasons.” He grins and wraps both arms around your waist to pull you close to him again, giving you a quick peck on the lips. When you want to deepen the kiss, he draws back again, expression stern. “No time for that, we have to get ready, eat breakfast and you still need to pack some of your stuff before we can leave. And we don’t want to let the others wait, right?” You sigh and pout. “No, we don’t, apparently.”, you just answer, and wiggle into your jeans and turtleneck, finally ready to leave the privacy of Chan’s room and get something to eat.

The scent of fresh coffee and pancakes greets you when you arrive downstairs, and you inhale deeply. Felix is standing in front of the stove, humming a soft tune under his breath while working on making the tower of pancakes beside him even taller. He turns around when you enter the kitchen, giving you his signature sunshine smile. “Morning, Y/N.”, he greets you, “Slept well?” You nod and peek over his shoulder. “Yup. And have I ever told you how much I love you?”, you ask, stealing a piece of pancake directly out of the pan, and Felix tries to swat your hand away before he chuckles. “Shouldn’t you say that to Chan, not to me?”, he replies, and your boyfriend, just entering the kitchen behind you, sighs deeply. “She’s an opportunist, meaning she’ll tell anyone she loves them if it means she gets what she wants, so beware. I actually rarely hear her say it to me.”, Chan says warningly, and you shoot him a dark look. “Oh shut up, that’s so not true. I tell you I love you at least once or twice a day, you needy baby.”, you grumble, and just then, Minho joins the small kitchen party. “Needy baby? You’re not talking about Hyunjin, are you?”, he asks, ruffling his crazy bed hair while filling a mug with coffee, sighing contently when he takes the first sip. You grin and shake your head, before taking a mug out of the cabinet yourself. 

Said roommate also enters the kitchen just then, face looking quite puffy. You raise both eyebrows. “Did you cry yourself to sleep last night?”, you ask, and take a sip of coffee to hide your shit-eating grin. Hyunjin throws you a dark glare, and crosses both arms in front of his chest. “No. But I did have a slight mental breakdown after realizing I probably failed my last exam yesterday, so I decided to treat myself to some late-night-ramen, and now I look like this.”, he points at his face, beginning to pout, “God just hates pretty people, he’s clearly punishing me for my dashing looks.” “Or maybe he just doesn’t like narcissists.”, Jeongin offers when he enters the kitchen, shoving Minho out of the way to get to the kitchen cabinet almost overflowing with mugs. You decide it’s finally getting too crowded in the kitchen, and leave it again. You’re absolutely not a morning person, and can’t deal with the boys’ constant bickering without having experienced the positive effect of the caffeine you’re currently consuming. 

Seungmin is sitting on one of the sofas, currently scrolling through Instagram and apparently trying to like every cute puppy pic in existence. “Morning.”, you greet him and take a seat beside him, peeking over his shoulder and cooing at an extremely cute baby golden retriever. Seungmin just greets you with a curt nod of his head, not being a morning person either, and keeps scrolling. Minutes later, Felix enters the living room, balancing a giant plate of fresh pancakes in front of him while all the other boys follow him like stray dogs. “What would you guys even do without Felix cooking for you all the time?”, you ask, mouth watering when you inhale the delicious smell. “Starve and die.”, Seungmin deadpans, while Jeongin answers: “We’d have to look at Hyunjin’s ugly bloated face every day because we’d solely live off ramen.” Hyunjin hits the back of his head for that, but the younger boy just shoots him his cheshire cat grin. “I mean, I could cook too, I guess.”, Chan says, frowning, and everyone bursts into loud laughter. “Wow okay, I’ll try not to take this personally…”, your boyfriend grumbles, and sits down at the dining table. You slide onto the chair next to him, and pat his thigh affectionately. “I love you, babe, but you literally didn’t know how to whisk eggs when we wanted to bake cookies last week.”, you say, and Chan sighs. “That’s... sadly fair. But I could learn!” 

“No offense, but we actually like our kitchen intact - thanks for your humble offering though. If Felix should die unexpectedly, we might get back to you.”, Minho answers, and before the situation can escalate into a playful bickering battle, Felix yells “SO, WHO WANTS PANCAKES?!”, successfully managing to distract everyone. 

One and a half hours later, everyone is packed and ready to go - you’ve planned this little getaway for almost two months now, everyone having finished their first round of exams at this time of year and being able to just relax for a bit. For some reason, the boys had wanted to go camping, and as you, Jisung’s girlfriend Lina and Hyunjin’s girlfriend Marie were clearly outnumbered by the boys, you hadn’t really had the chance to disagree with them. But you honestly don’t even mind, having gone camping lots of times already and just being happy to enjoy some time with your closest friends. Only Changbin won’t be able to join you guys, as he’s currently doing an internship and wasn’t able to request some time off. 

Chan is just about to lock the front door to the frat house, when Jeongin zooms past you, yelling for his older roommate to wait. “I forgot something extremely important!”, he explains, almost breathless, and disappears into the house again. “What’s he getting now?”, your boyfriend wonders, and shoots you a questioning gaze. You just shrug, and let your bag fall to the ground, too lazy to hold onto it while waiting for the youngest of your group. A few minutes later, Jeongin comes back, a huge grin on his face and a giant stuffed animal in his arms. Chan blinks a few times, and opens his mouth to say something, but he gets cut off by the younger boy: “You guys can cuddle with each other, but I’d rather throw myself off a cliff than cuddle with Minho, Felix or Seungmin, whoever I’ll end up sharing a tent with. But I do wanna cuddle with someone, so Mr. Sunshine it is.”, he explains stoically, and you just nod in support. “I totally get that, plus I wouldn’t be too sure that Minho doesn’t just turn into a bat or something like that during the night. He’s at least part demon, we all know that.”, you say, and Jeongin giggles. 

You’re truly prepared to give him anything whenever he smiles at you like this, his eyes almost disappearing, teeth almost blindingly bright. While you detain from squishing his cheeks, you do poke the dimple on his left one, being too endeared by him. He swats your hand away, of course he does, but you still bask in the victory of having poked his cheek. One thing to cross off your to-do-list for today. 

“Okay, let’s go to the others.”, Chan finally says after locking the house, and without you having to say anything, he takes his and your bag and walks over to where the others are waiting beside the cars. Chivalry is not dead and you’re ready to swoon over your amazing boyfriend. “Okay, we still have to pick up Jisung, Lina and Marie.”, Chan says after he’s put your bags into the trunk of his car, “So, who’s gonna ride in which car?” “Well I obviously want to ride with Marie.”, Hyunjin says, a goofy smile on his face - they have been together for almost a year now, but he’s still very much extremely whipped for her, but luckily, she seems to feel the exact same way -, and Minho murmurs a sarcastic “Shocking, really.” under his breath. “I want Jisung and Lina in our car.”, you quickly say, and Chan gives you a short nod. Of course you’d say that - Jisung is your best friend after all, and you’ve grown quite close to Lina as well. You’re also good friends with Marie, but Jisung just wins this round - not that you’d ever tell that to his face, he’s too cocky as it is, no need to push his ego even more. “Then Minho, you take Hyunjin, Marie, Felix and Seungmin, and I take Y/N, Jisung, Lina and Jeongin, okay?”, Chan suggests, and everyone agrees. Five minutes later, all the bags are safely stored away and everyone has taken their seats. Being Chan’s girlfriend means you get to ride shotgun, something you’re more than thankful for, knowing how crowded the backseat is going to be once you’ve picked up Jisung and Lina. “See you in a bit!”, Felix yells through his open window, and flashes you his extremely cute gummy smile. You wave at him, immediately returning his smile, and successfully ignore Minho’s mock salute and cocky grin while he backs out of his parking spot, almost cutting Chan off.

Twenty minutes later, Jisung and Lina are squished into the backseat with Jeongin, all three having bright smiles on their faces. “Road trip, whoop!”, Jisung yells and gives you a high five, “Happy to have a few days with y’all before we have to face the sad reality of probably having failed most of our exams!” Lina beside him rolls her eyes. “Stop being so dramatic, I’m sure most of us will have aced everything.”, she says, and Jisung wraps his arm around her and kisses her temple. “Sorry, but I have literally only one functioning brain cell and I use it to overthink.”, he explains, yelping when she playfully tickles his side. You chuckle at their bickering, and hit play on your road trip playlist - a second later, Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody fills the car, all of you immediately beginning to sing along. “LET’S GO!”, Chan yells over the sad attempts of everyone trying to imitate Freddy Mercury, and backs out of the parking lot. You smile and interlace your fingers with his. He cheekily returns your smile, and raises your intertwined hands to his lips to press a soft kiss against your knuckles. Over a year of being with him, but you still swoon over this simple yet sweet gesture. Yes, you’re just that whipped for your boyfriend, and what about it. 

It doesn’t take long for you guys to arrive on the interstate, you and Jisung trying to trump each other's impressions of Beyoncé singing Single Ladies (and failing miserably, sorry Queen B). Your belly almost hurts from laughing with your friends, and you can’t wait for the rest of the weekend to begin. 

Minho’s car arrives before Chan’s, and of course he’s gloating about it the second you guys join forces again. But you can let him have this small victory, and decide to just ignore him for now, helping Chan get the bags out of his car and to the campsite. It’s quite cold, the air crisp now that the sun is slowly beginning to set again, but you brought lots of blankets and sleeping bags, so you should be fine. And at least the weather means there aren’t any other campers here right now, so you have the whole area, including the washing rooms, to yourselves, which is nice. 

Setting up camp takes longer than anticipated, mostly because Jisung somehow manages to crash into his and Lina’s almost finished tent twice, which means they have to start from the very beginning again. She truly has the patience of a saint, simply smacking him over the head rather playfully before picking up the sad remains of their tent to begin the whole building process again. Chan and you, having gone camping lots of times already, are quickest with finishing your tent, so afterwards you offer to help Jisung and Lina with theirs, while Chan does the same for Minho and Jeongin. Marie, an experienced scout, has set up hers and Hyunjin’s tent in record time as well, and takes pity on Felix and Seungmin, quickly building the tent for them. After an hour, your camp has successfully been built, and everyone begins to search for firewood.

Felix decides to make a giant pot of spicy chili sin carne for tonight’s dinner, and as soon as all the plates are filled, your conversations slowly dwindle down, everyone too busy with eating. “Lix, you’re a cooking genius, Gordon Ramsey found jobless.”, Marie says around a mouthful of chili, giving the blonde boy a bright smile and the thumbs up. He waves her compliment aside, blushing profoundly. “Thanks, but it’s honestly not that difficult - you just have to follow the recipe, if you’re too scared to improvise.”, he murmurs, and she throws a small piece of kindling at him. “You should really learn how to take compliments.”, she teases playfully, and he shrugs. “Okay, okay, I’m the best cook ever.”, he says sarcastically, and Minho raises one eyebrow. “Whoa, now don’t get ahead of yourself.”, he replies, and Felix smacks him over the head. “You can’t cook at all, so for once, you should just stay quiet.”, you say, and Minho sighs dramatically. “What can I say… We all have our weaknesses. I, for example, am extremely good-looking and tragically funny.” 

You almost choke on your chili because of his audacity, and lift your fork in front of your face, staring through it and at Minho, who just frowns at you. “What are you doing? Why are you looking at me through your fork?”, he asks, obviously confused by your behavior, and you give him a lopsided smile. “I’m pretending you’re in jail, it’s spiritually healing.”, you explain, and Chan beside you bursts into laughter, the others following him quickly. Minho begins to pout and sticks out his tongue at you, always the mature one. “It’s okay if you don’t enjoy my dashing looks and hilarious humor, not everyone has good taste. That’s why you picked Chan over me after all.”, he claims, and you answer by throwing a piece of wood his way, making him squeal and dive for cover. Just then, the flames of your fire flicker and slowly begin to die down. Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin stand up to go get some more firewood, but somehow, the latter one’s shoe gets caught between two logs and with a loud yelp, he tumbles to the ground. “What the Hell is he doing?!”, Chan groans, and Jeongin deadpans “Sadly his best.”, before he begins walking over towards his friend to help him, but Marie is faster, already dragging her boyfriend up from the ground with tears of laughter in her eyes. Hyunjin’s cheeks are red from embarrassment and he murmurs something about nature being out to get him, before he, Marie and the other two boys disappear into the forest to get more firewood.

The rest of the evening is filled with playful banter, soft guitar music from Jisung, and funny childhood stories. Lina soon begins to nod off, her head resting on her boyfriend’s shoulder while he continues to strum a soft tune on his guitar, humming along. When he notices his girlfriend is about to wander into Morpheus’ realm though, he’s quick to place the guitar back into its bag, and wraps both arms around her. “I think it’s time for us to retire, huh?”, he says, leaving a gentle kiss on Lina’s forehead. She blinks sleepily, and smiles up at him. “It’s pretty safe to assume that at any given moment, I want to go back to sleep - so yes, I agree, time to retire.”, she answers, and Jisung chuckles, before standing up to declare: “Well, we’re off to bed now!” Minho and Seungmin boo immediately, while Jeongin murmurs something like “Old people” under his breath - even though he’s literally only one year younger than most of you guys. 

“So, as I’m legally required to kiss my homies goodnight, y’all getting some smooches!”, Jisung says, already walking towards where Hyunjin and Marie are sitting, bodies entangled and breaths mingling. Hyunjin looks up and shoots his friend a murderous look. “I swear, if you kiss me, I’m going to dump you into the river.”, he threatens, but Jisung just grins. “How about you dump your girlfriend instead and run away with me? We’d make such a pretty couple.”, he says, making Hyunjin roll his eyes. “Bro, no offense, but I’d be the pretty one in this relationship, and while everyone can clearly see you already have quite the experience being the ugly one in a relationship” with that, Hyunjin first points at Jisung and then at Lina, who bursts out laughing, “I don’t think I’m ready to hear your constant whining about my face being prettier than yours. So thanks, but no thanks, I’ll stay with Marie.” “Wow, I feel so honored and loved right now, babe.”, Marie says sarcastically, “But does this mean you think you’re the pretty one in this relationship as well?” Hyunjin goes into instant panic mode, quickly reassuring his girlfriend that she’s far prettier than him, while she tries to keep a stern expression on her face, but everyone can clearly see the way her lips twitch. She just loves teasing Hyunjin, and you honestly can’t blame her for that, especially not when it’s just so easy. 

“Okay, goodnight, then!”, Lina interrupts their playful bickering, and gives everyone a soft smile, before dragging Jisung towards their tent. Everyone wishes them a good night and sweet dreams as well, and then Seungmin clears his throat. “Time for some ghost stories, don’t you think?”, he says, voice low and grin almost evil when his eyes find Hyunjin, who immediately falls silent. Everyone knows he’s a huge scaredy cat, which is quite funny seeing as his own girlfriend is a big fan of horror movies and stories. Truly a match made in Heaven. Seungmin just raises one eyebrow, expression challenging - but when no one contradicts him, he begins to tell his first ghost story. 

It doesn’t take long until Hyunjin is pretty much sitting on Marie’s lap, shooting daggers at his friend while his girlfriend is trying very hard not to laugh at him. You yourself cuddle closer to your own boyfriend, smiling when he presses a soft kiss against your temple. Your eyes rest on the big bonfire, following some sparks drifting into the dark night sky from time to time, and you sigh contently. This, right here, is your happy place - in the midst of your friends, just laughing and joking with them, not a care in the world. Midterms lie behind you, and you’re currently not even thinking about your grades for once, your anxiety at rest. This trip was truly a great idea, maybe even Jisung’s best one so far. 

“Okay, wanna hear a really creepy one-”, Seungmin begins, and Hyunjin has finally had enough, standing up and taking Marie’s hand into his. “Well, goodnight!”, he says, a determined expression on his face, and pulls his girlfriend towards their tent. Marie suppresses an amused smile at her boyfriend’s dramatics, and waves at everyone, before following him inside the tent. Seungmin just grins evilly and shrugs. “He’s so soft hearted.”, he then says, and leans back, obviously content with his work. “Okay, maybe it’s three demons, not only two.”, you murmur into Chan’s ear, and he chuckles. You’re always joking about Minho and Hyunjin being demons, as they’re constantly testing your nerves by just being themselves, plus they were definitely the main plotters behind the plan to get you and Chan together - not that you’re complaining about it as their plan had worked pretty perfectly and in your favor. “In the end you’ll probably find that I live with six demons.”, your boyfriend murmurs, and begins to play with your fingers. You shake your head. “Oh no, Felix is definitely an angel, not a demon.”, you disagree, and Chan nods. “Okay, that’s true. The others though… Well, time will tell, I guess.” “Or holy water.” He just laughs and gives you a quick peck on the lips. When you want to deepen the kiss, he draws back. “Later.”, he murmurs against your lips, his deep voice rumbling in his chest, and you shiver involuntarily. He grins at your reaction, before turning his attention to Seungmin’s new ghost story again. 

You on the other hand feel hot and bothered all of the sudden, and decide to tease your boyfriend a bit. So you place your hand on his thigh, not moving it for some time, until you slowly slide it higher, bit by bit. At first, Chan doesn’t seem to notice or care, until you’re getting dangerously close to his crotch. Then, he quickly leans forward so the others can’t see what you’re doing, and glares at you. “What are you doing?”, he asks, voice low, and you smile innocently. “Nothing.”, you answer, and have finally reached your desired destination, slowly beginning to palm his semi over his jeans. “How about you be a good girl and stop?”, he breathes out, but you know he doesn’t actually want you to stop - you know him well enough for that by now. Still, you decide to play along. “Oh, I’ll gladly be your good girl.”, you whisper, and quickly withdraw your hand. He groans at your words and the sudden lack of contact, and locks eyes with you. “Tent. Now.”, he grits out, and stands up, pulling you with him and hugging you from behind so your body hides his erection from the others. “We’re tired too, so goodnight!”, he says in a fake cheerful voice, and you have to hide your shit-eating grin while innocently waving at the others. “Oh you’re in so much trouble now, babe.”, Chan murmurs into your ear while you walk towards your tent, and bites down on your lobe. You feel arousal gather between your legs, stomach jolting at his words. You and Chan have a very playful relationship, full of bantering and loving jokes, and your dynamic in the bedroom isn’t that different - there’s a lot of bickering too, you being a total brat at times, while he’s more on the dominant side, enjoying making you obedient.  

As soon as he closes the tent behind you and turns around to watch you with an almost predatory gaze, you know you might have been a bit too forward at the bonfire. But it’s too late to back down now, so you simply raise both eyebrows, a challenging expression on your face. “So you think touching me like that in front of our friends is okay?”, Chan asks, his voice low and dark. You tilt your head to one side. “I mean, you didn’t seem opposed to it, to be honest.”, you answer, and now he’s the one to lift both eyebrows. “I want you out of your clothes, now.”, your boyfriend orders, and for once, you follow his command immediately, knowing this is for your own good this time. So you quickly wiggle out of your jeans and take off your jumper, shivering in the cold night air. Only left in your panties and bra, Chan smirks to himself, before crawling over your body and beginning to kiss you slowly. You gasp into his mouth when one of his warm hands finds your waist, drawing lazy circles against it, before traveling higher to cup your breast over your bra. His thumb rubs over your clothed nipple before pinching it, hard, and you arch your back, breath hitching. 

“So, let’s see how quiet you can stay while I eat you out, hm? Remember, the walls of the tent are too thin to mask any noises.”, Chan whispers against your lips, before he suddenly descends down your body. Oh no, you know you’re screwed. He’ll try to make you scream his name, but while you’re quite open about sex and have no problem talking about it with your friends, you definitely don’t need them to hear you during the actual act. Maybe you shouldn’t have teased your boyfriend after all - but it’s too late now, he’s determined. He spreads your legs, and begins to leave soft love bites on the inside of your thighs. You’re trembling already, and it’s not because of the cold alone. Chan always has this effect on you, no matter how often he touches you - you’ll never get used to it. He plays with the hem of your panties, until he finally drags them down your legs, his warm breath hitting your wet core. You begin to squirm, impatient to have him finally touch you where you need him most. He smacks your thigh, the crack resounding through the tent, and you yelp. “Chan.”, you hiss, and he grins cheekily, before suddenly pressing his thumb to your clit, beginning to draw lazy circles against it. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and you clamp one hand over your mouth to mask any noises. 

Chan soon replaces his thumb with his mouth, sucking on your clit like his life depends on it while simultaneously sliding two fingers inside your heat. A loud moan tears from your lips and you bite the inside of your cheek, trying to stifle your noises but already failing miserably. You feel Chan smirk against you, and then, he slips a third finger inside you, curling them upwards and picking up the pace. You buck your hips against his gentle ministrations, skin feeling too hot and too tight already, goosebumps rising all over your body. It doesn’t take long until you begin to tremble, your high approaching rather quickly, and you’re this close to finally snapping, when Chan draws back from your core, face glistening with your juices, his smirk almost devilish. “I can’t hear you, babe, are you even enjoying this?”, he murmurs, back to drawing lazy patterns on your clit with his thumb. You feel frustration wash over you, and shoot him a dark glare. His grin gets even wider, before he completely withdraws his hand from your heat to suck on his glistening fingers. You close your eyes for a few seconds, trying to gather your wits, until Chan slaps your thigh again. “Look at me, baby.”, he says, voice dark, and your eyes snap open again. You begin to pout. “Please.”, you mumble, trying your best to appeal to his softer side, “I’m sorry I was a brat earlier. You know I can’t be loud or the others might hear us.” Your boyfriend just hums, hands ghosting over your thighs and leaving goosebumps in their wake. “Too bad, I guess you can’t cum tonight then.” And before you’re able to reply anything, he dives back in-between your folds. 

You throw one arm over your mouth, and bite your own soft flesh to suppress any noises. It takes little to no time until you’re close to your orgasm again, but for the second time tonight, Chan draws back in the last possible second. You’re almost ready to cry with frustration now, eyes glistening with unshed tears. When your boyfriend sees this, he softens a bit and leans towards you to press a gentle kiss to your lips. “This is what you get for being a brat.”, he murmurs, and you bite down on his lower lip, making him groan into your mouth. “Please.”, you whisper and try your best puppy eyes on him. He just smirks again, finally ridding himself off his shirt, jeans and underwear. When he’s fully naked in front of you, you sigh, eyes raking his beautiful, defined body. Unlike you, Chan actually enjoys going to the gym - and his effort pays off. “Stop drooling.”, he says, sounding way too pleased and cocky in your opinion. So you quickly sit up, and wrap one hand around his hard cock, already leaking with pre-cum. Good to see you’re not the only one being affected by this, you think and grin. You begin to slowly jerk him off, spreading the pre-cum over the rest of his cock as lube. He groans, lower lip pulled back between his teeth and eyes almost black with desire. Finally, he’s had enough, and pushes you on your back again, hovering over you. “There’s condoms in the bag behind you.”, he murmurs, leaving gentle kisses on your neck until he finds your sweet spot, beginning to suck on it. You moan almost inaudible, fingers fumbling for said bag to retrieve a condom. 

Just seconds later, Chan rolls it over his cock, and then, he aligns himself in front of your wet core, teasingly rubbing your clit before you shoot him a pleading look. He finally sheathes himself into you with one swift motion, and you both moan out loud at the feeling. You quickly cough to cover the noise, making Chan chuckle and press a kiss against your forehead. “You’re okay?”, he asks, and you nod, biting down on his neck and leaving a hickey. He groans and finally begins to move, pulling almost all the way out before slamming back into you, immediately hitting that spot. Your fingers wrap around his biceps, needing something to hold onto while he drills into you. Suddenly, he pulls out of you to sit back on his knees, wrapping your legs around his hips, and thrusts back into you at an even deeper angle, simultaneously picking up the pace. One of his hands snakes towards your neck and he wraps his fingers around the base of your throat, using just enough pressure to make breathing harder for you. When his thumb begins to circle your clit again, you close your eyes, clamping one hand over your mouth to mask your almost obscene noises. 

“C-Chan, I’m so c-close.”, you say in between two moans, and he grins, murmuring a “That’s my girl” under his breath before deepening the angle even more. He suddenly pinches your clit once, and that’s all it takes for you to finally tumble over the edge, his name leaving your lips maybe a bit too loud this time. He quickly leans forward to seal your mouth with his, chasing his own high while guiding you through yours. Not long after, he groans and presses his forehead against yours, shuddering a bit while releasing into the condom. He stills inside you, both your breaths mingling, hearts beating fast while you try to come down from your high. Chan smiles, brushing some of your hair out of your face, and gives you a soft, sweet kiss. “I love you.”, he murmurs, and you return his smile. “Love you more.”, you whisper back, and he chuckles. “Impossible.” 

Before you can begin to playfully argue, Minho’s voice cuts through the night “Next time we’ll build the tents far away from each other, y’all are nasty for doing it with us sitting almost right next you.” Both you and Chan freeze, before you burst out laughing. “WE HAVE ZERO REGRETS.”, you yell back, hearing the others groan. “WELL, YOU REALLY SHOULD THOUGH!”, Jisung complains from somewhere to your left, and you hear Lina starting to giggle. You groan and bury your face into Chan’s neck. “They’ll never let us hear the end of this, will they.”, you murmur against his soft skin, and he shakes his head. “Nope.” You sigh and lean back. “Well, it was still worth it.”, you say, and grin up at him. Your boyfriend just smirks and leans down to kiss you again. “Oh, definitely.”

[masterlist] | [requests] 

[alexawynters]

TW

Venting. Don’t take this too seriously it’s fine I’m fine.

So my recent ex gf of 8 months (I count the time we were fucking around as well as dating bc let’s not lie I caught feels early because I’m pathetic) who broke up with me a little over two months ago is now hooking up with one of my closest friends.

Its cool. I still cry myself to sleep, have nightmares, and wake up crying throughout the night but it’s fine. I spend more time drunk than sober (I had been doing so well! It was two years since I was last an alcoholic) and replaying every red flag, every moment where I thought to myself “you know, I don’t think she really likes me, you don’t treat the people you like this way right?” And then my dumb desperate ass was like “no we’re going to overlook this because surely she would tell me right? Besides I’m asking for too much, I should just be grateful she even expressed any interest at all. Stop being needy. Stop asking for anything other than what she is giving you because you’re lucky she’s even with you, what’s wrong with you?

Like. The first two months we were together? I called my besties every other week crying because I felt like a human sex toy. She didn’t even seem to want to do relationship things. I didn’t understand why she even asked me out, I had told her before we got together if all she wanted to be was fwb that was okay. But she asked me out so I was like okay cool. You want to date me. As in be in a relationship. I’m excited for this. Let’s do relationship things. We didn’t often do relationship things. We did sexual ones instead.

Then after two months suddenly the sex all but stopped. I thought to myself okay cool every relationship hits a plateau, and levels out. This is normal. Little did I know that was the slow death of us. The. I was calling my besties every other week again, still crying, begging to know what I was doing wrong. Why wasn’t I good enough? Why didn’t she seem interested but was still with me? What was I doing wrong? What was I not doing enough of, or too much of, or just not doing right? What was wrong with me that I couldn’t seem to interest her beyond the bare bones minimum?

I found myself begging for her to spend time with me. I lived with roommates who were our friends, and it always felt like she wanted to spend more time with them than me. I had to ask her if we could have some “just us” nights which, rarely were ever actually just us unless we went out. There were times she would literally, every five minutes look out the window to see when my roommates were home, and I was like ???? Do you not want to spend time with me? She would go to the kitchen to get something and be gone for twenty minutes to an hour at a time, having gotten distracted and hanging out with them. Which isn’t inherently bad to be clear but it happened so often and I wondered. I never forgot about her when I was leaving the room and got stopped for a conversation. If I knew I was going to be long I would text her to invite her or let her know.

I had even told her if she wants to just hang out with them, she could. I genuinely wouldn’t have minded that. Have fun with your friends, you should. I could hang out in my room and be me (I’m incredibly introverted, autistic, and have anxiety, and the living situation had me ~*stressed*~ out) but she didn’t want to do that.

If we were out on a date, she was almost always texting, or snap chatting somebody else. I always tried to make it a point to focus on us when we were in dates, but it never felt reciprocated. I brought it up and then felt like an asshole for already asking for just us time, and now to please not be on your phone when we’re on a date. She looked so sad, like I had scolded her. I would replay it over and over in my head - I tried to be gentle and polite, not accusing or angry. I checked my words carefully and ran them by multiple people to try to be as non aggressive and non accusatory as I could before I ever spoke them to her. Clearly I didn’t succeed.

She has OCD (nothing against it and I usually found it endearing) and would sometimes go into a loop. I always tried to help her but usually just ended up frustrating her. She snapped at me on occasions including in front of my friends and didn’t often apologize for it. Something my friends brought up after she did it in front of them, and I made excuses for it. She was stressed out, I would be too, stop being so hard on her.

She never planned anything with me, I always had to do it. I brushed it off as her having anxiety and not liking planning, but when she asked me “oh we’re still doing that?” for the trip for my nieces wedding in which I was taking her to meet my (extremely judgey) family, the trip that I had been updating her on weekly about the plans trying to get any input from her on, the trip that I had to pull in favors for and grovel to get the time off to go to? I should have said never mind and cancelled it.

She didn’t even help plan my birthday. My best friends did, and showed me the texts where they were getting frustrated with her lack of input on it because she’s my girlfriend and surely she would want to participate in that? Want to help surprise me? It was my first surprise party ever. I told her thank you and she acted like she had absolutely had a hand in planning. Meanwhile my friends all got together while she and I were gone to vent about how pisses they were at her for her lack of effort.

I have some childhood trauma and I don’t like to be touched sexually. I’ll touch my partner and even enjoy it but I don’t like being touched. It triggers me. But she said no less than three times to different people “yeah I’ve still never gone down on a girl or anything” which made me feel like I wasn’t being a good enough girlfriend. So I got sex therapy. I worked through it as best I could. Not for me. I didn’t want to be touched that way but I wanted my girlfriend to be happy. I wanted to do right by her and give her everything she wanted or needed in a relationship. Right about this time is where the sex stopped. She also stopped flirting or doing things she used to do before we started/right as we started dating that were clear indicators that she liked me. (I am an oblivious idiot)

I started to get worried. Why was I working this hard if she didn’t actually want to touch me? I was happy not being touched, but now I was starting to think something was wrong. I was starting to feel like she didn’t even want me. I started asking for sex as reassurance that she was still interested. Still attracted.

She called me a horn dog.

Not just to me but also later to my best friend. I was so mortified I wanted to jump out of the window and run into traffic. *I* was a horndog? All I wanted was affection and reassurance. She said her love language was physical affection and so was mine but she rarely gave me the cuddles I needed. I would ask her for “pets” - where she would play with my hair or just run her hand up and down my arm. This for me is intimacy. I had no problems doing it for her ever but she would get annoyed when I asked, saying it was hard for her to focus on the tv.

Okay? So? I’m not asking much, I didn’t think. I stopped paying attention to the tv when I was petting her. I made her my whole focus so she would feel loved. I mean unless it was like Harry Potter but I would be mindful to alternate so she wouldn’t be left out.

She only introduced me to one of her friends (who I thought was pretty cool but I worry she hates me so I just don’t talk to her now). At first I thought this was because she was in the closet. To be clear I never had a problem with that. I would never push someone to come out before they were ready and I hate movies and media that have the partner doing that. It’s shitty and dangerous. If she felt safer in the closet more power to her. I actively went to bat for protecting that secret for her. Sometimes our friends would forget and tag her in shit that would out her. I would be in their texts and calling them immediately explaining the situation and asking them to untag or take the post down. I’m not saying that as any sort of bragging. That’s literally the least I could do. I’m saying it to illustrate that I don’t have a problem with her being in the closet. But then she told me her friends knew about us. So I was like okay cool you’ve met all of my friends and are part of the group. I’d like to meet your friends. “Um.. they’re just really busy”. I mean. Yeah so are my friends and I didn’t mean like right now I just meant maybe mention it to them and we can some time schedule a hang out. “They’re just really busy”. Red flag but okay. Gonna just. Overlook this one too. It’s fine.

I spent more nights when she visited waiting for her to fall asleep so I could cry myself to sleep over how worthless I felt. Why was I doing this? Everything hurt but maybe I was just asking too much. Had my expectations too high. I’ve been told that before. Usually by people who have left me, those who stay (and my therapist) insist I’ve been asking for the bare minimum. To this day I still don’t know. If all you get is nothing , surely you are nothing? You don’t deserve to ask for more.

By June I started thinking she’s not happy with me. I’m not the one she wants. I don’t think much of myself. I don’t think I’m worth anything. I wrote her a letter that sat in my desk at work, basically saying that she deserved to be happy. She deserved to be with someone who sparks excitement, joy, and romance in her. Someone she wants to introduce to her friends (that she’s out to). Someone that she wants to spend time with and forgets about anyone else (within reason obviously, not like actually forgetting the world friends and responsibilities). Someone she is actually excited to spend time with and looks forward to. Someone that makes her not want to cancel every other date. She shouldn’t settle, even if it’s for me.

It broke my heart to write that letter. I was going to give it to her after her birthday because I didn’t want to be a sick and break up with her right before/on her birthday. Turns out she beat me to the punch and dumped me after I took her home.

I don’t know why I was surprised. The entire relationship things didn’t feel right. I always felt like I was doing something wrong. People in my life always seem to like the idea of me and then when they get to see the real me suddenly it’s like oops too much I’m out. Or alternatively they just.. they think I’m interesting and then lose interest.

My birth mother rejected me not once but twice. My adoptive mother was thrilled at the idea of me until I got to be about 4 and she realized something wasn’t quite right. My dad doesn’t care enough about me to stop drinking. Almost every single best friend I’ve ever had growing up has left usually because of some stupid shit I’ve done or because they’re embarrassed of me. Cheryl thought I was some monster out to hurt my friends (even when said “hurt” friend who was actually there went to bat for me and confirmed that I was literally just in the wrong place at the wrong time). Holly stopped caring. Brie never cared. Johanna only cared when she could use her affection of me to hurt someone else she was being petty with. Lissa only wanted someone she could bully, and even once she had me it wasn’t enough. Jerika definitely didn’t want me, and even my closest friend of 17 years Amy left for three months in which I genuinely thought she wasn’t coming back because I had the audacity to try to help her out of a panic attack. Jocelyn couldn’t stand me for more than a week at a time and roxii didn’t have the time of day for me after Americorps.

I feel like my whole life has just been a game of measurements that’s found me wanting. I tried. I tried so hard and I know I didn’t succeed I know there were things I could have done differently with my latest ex. Things I could have done better. I’ve never wanted anything to work so much in my life. Never tried so hard and still I wasn’t enough. I’m never enough.

I watched her, the woman that I was in love with, slowly lose interest in me over the course of about 4 months. Do you know what that’s like? What that does to you? The more I tried, the quicker she seemed to fade. I kept thinking if I just try harder, I’m just not doing, saying the right things. I read every book on relationships I could get my hands on (blatantly ignoring the parts that told me I should see the red flags for what they were and step away). I took notes. I watched therapy videos. I put to work every therapy technique I had ever learned. I wasn’t perfect but I was going to give this everything I had. Just once I didn’t want anyone to be able to say I didn’t try. I wanted to be as healthy, loving and supportive of a partner as I could because I loved her and didn’t want to hurt her. I knew that I had a lot of personal growth that I had been working on before I met her and I wanted to really ramp that up while I was with her to be good to her. To be good for her.

I’m not even mad. My friends say I should be. They’re mad on my behalf and I’m the one telling them to be nice, and defending her. Part of me thinks they’re right but mostly, mostly I think I’m just a steaming pile of shit and I deserved this.

I wasn’t enough. I’m tired of not being enough. I’m tired of fighting the universe showing me over, and over, and over, and over, and over again how absolutely worthless, not shit I am.

When she broke up with me I told her I felt like I was losing one of my best friends. She said we’re still friends I’m still going to be in your life and we will still talk. Turns out that’s only if I initiate and usually shortly after she shuts it down. So. I guess not.

I asked her one thing and that was when (not if because obviously when, I mean if you saw her you would understand) she moved on if she could just not bring the new person around for the first few months so I didn’t have to see it immediately I would appreciate it and she was like yeah for sure. I told her I wanted her to be happy and I meant it. I just didn’t realize it was going to be barely over 2 months and with one of my good friends.

To be clear she can date whomever she wants. I just thought there might have been more time between them showing up publicly and honestly? Even if her friend was single, interested in me, and I interested in her, I wouldn’t have dated her friend. Even if the positions were reversed and I actually broke up with her first, I wouldn’t have dated her friend. I would imagine that would hurt and I never want to hurt her. Ever. I just.. I wouldn’t have done it. And then she told my one best friend to not tell my other best friend or me and I’m like?? So you know this is a little shady and you’re still gonna?? Like you literally couldn’t wake a couple more months? Just til after Friendsgiving so I don’t have to come to a group event and plaster on a smile when it makes me want to stab myself in the heart.

Alright. Well. Good for her. And I mean that. I just.. can’t see that right now so I’m not seeing any of them. I heard the song Reminds me of you by Kim petras today “cut off all my friends because they remind me of you” and literally felt punched in the gut. Like yep. Too right. Because what am I supposed to go go hang out with my closest friends, where she and her new partner are, and fake a smile? I’m barely holding it together. There’s literally not a day in which I don’t want to kill myself.

Not because she broke up with me. Because I’m tired of being worthless to everyone I care about. Like why the fuck am I even here? Is this what I was born for? To be trash? To be used by people until they find someone better? Or to be someone’s quirky new friend until they find out my quirks are not an act? Or for people to think Im interesting only to slowly realize that I’m not and want nothing to do with me?

I think about all the things I’ve survived that I shouldn’t have and get frustrated because wHY? Why couldnt I just have died and been done with everything? I said to Nathan the other day that at some point I have to realize that the common denominator here is me. Clearly I am the problem. Clearly I am worthless and it’s time to fucking accept that. His reply was that it’s easy to think that you’re the common denominator when it’s your life but that’s just because you’re stuck in it. Idk man. I don’t think I have just extraordinarily shitty luck. I think it’s just me.

I am worthless. Not shit. To anyone. There are some who have stayed but it’s literally just a matter of time until they leave. It’s inevitable, and I’m tired of trying to pretend it’s not. I’m tired of trying to pretend I’m worth something to anyone. I’m tired of begging people to care about me, family, friends, partners. I’m just tired. So tired. Im tired of being tired.

Fuck my life insurance policy. The majority of the people on it don’t care about me anyway, so fuck it if it doesn’t pay out. It wouldn’t be my problem. Sitting here trying to think of ways that wouldn’t traumatize my roommates, would be guaranteed, relatively pain free, and wouldn’t put anyone else at risk. And then I remember I’m a coward and if I fuck it up then there goes what little I have made of my career, I’d lose my job (not that I’m thriving anyway), I’d probably be permanently damaged in ways that would then make me a burden to my parents.

Maybe I can’t kill myself, but somebody else sure could. I could find somebody abusive and just throw myself into that until one day they take it too far. That’s about what I deserve. And then my policy would pay out and the people I live most would be taken care of, regardless of how their treatment of me makes me feel. Maybe I could do some good in this world. The only good I’ll have ever done but it has to count for something right? Who am I kidding nothing I do counts for anything but I’m crazy and keep doing the same things expecting different results.

It’s funny. The one person who wants to leave me the most, can’t. I wish I could though.

Don’t take this too seriously I’m venting. it’s fine, I’m fine.

[breakingsomething]

third year

basic summary: chase hates his birthday, but maybe someone can help him change that.

trigger warnings: mentions of past suicide attempts

"good morning, bastard."

chase groans, pausing before yanking his blankets off his head. he rolls over his bed to see henrik standing at his door, looking amused. "the fuck do you want?" he mumbles, already feeling the morning chill on his bare arms.

henrik smiles softly. "happy birthday."

oh. it's his birthday, isn't it.

two years since he made his attempt. a year since he was wrongly arrested for kidnapping. a year since his kids went missing.

"shit," he says. then he pulls his blankets back over his head.

there's a moment of silence. "come on, bruder, get up. we have a surprise for you today."

"i'm sure you fucking do," chase mutters from beneath his covers. his eyes still burn from crying so much last night. he can't even remember what he was crying about, really. "is it worth getting up for?"

"it is," henrik says. chase listens to the door squeaking as henrik holds it open, waiting for a response. when chase doesn't give one, he sighs. "get up when you're ready, ok? don't spend all day doing the sulks. you will not feel better that way, i promise."

chase doesn't move as the door closes. he waits a minute before looking up to see henrik is, in fact, gone.

good. he didn't want him to stay anyway.

he thinks he goes back to sleep. when he wakes again, the room is considerably brighter, and he wonders if he should bother getting up. but he's extremely hungry - if he's remembering right, he hasn't eaten since yesterday morning - so after a few moments of psyching himself up, he pushes himself into a sitting position and swings his legs off the bed. even that simple motion is enough to make his head pound. he really wished he hadn't cried so much last night. too lazy to go to his drawers and grab a pair of socks, he patters from the room barefoot, wincing at the cold floor beneath his feet.

the house is very, very quiet. chase checks each room on his way downstairs, and eventually realises that everyone must be out. "i take it you're all planning a surprise party for me, huh?" he says aloud. of course, there's no response. chase chuckles silently, before setting about making toast. the clock on the wall tells him it's half twelve. damn, he really did sleep in. the silence is unnerving him - he really hopes anti isn't involved in this somehow.

after he's eaten, he goes to take a shower. he figures that while he's awake, maybe he'll go for a walk, get some fresh air to maybe help get rid of this headache. his hands brush over his bullet scar on the side of his head, and he winces. it doesn't hurt, but the memories of what he was doing two years ago today certainly do.

once he's dried his hair, he pulls a cap and beanie over his head and tries not to think about it.

he locks the door and sets out, walking aimlessly away from the house. he wanders through the city, listening to the sounds and watching the people go by. he's suddenly very aware of how all the other people he's seeing have real lives, and that he's not the only one with problems - there's probably someone here who has it even worse than him. the thought makes him feel odd, so he tries to focus on other things instead, like shop windows and passing conversations. a few people catch him looking and he quickly glances away as he goes by, keeping his eyes to the floor.

he stops for lunch around two. the man who serves him in gregg's smiles and comments on how good chase's hair looks, and his face burns. he fumbles with his change as he pays and races out as quickly as he can. marvin would be ashamed of him.

he walks along the shorefront and eats his sausage roll. he should probably think about going home - he's sure his brothers are wondering where he is - but he really doesn't want to think about it being his birthday.

technically speaking, this isn't even his real birthday. just the one jack assigned him; he'd rather celebrate his birthday now anyway, given that all his brothers birthdays are so close together. well. he'd really rather not celebrate his birthday at all, to be honest.

is that why he's not going home? is that why he's alone, waving off seagulls from his cheap lunch instead of with his brothers, eating cake and playing mario kart?

it's getting cold. he's not wearing a jacket, just a thin pink hoodie, and he can feel goosebumps appearing on his arms. he decides he might as well go home and get this all over with, if only so that the goddamn seagulls leave him alone.

he tosses the rest of his sausage roll to the floor and watches the birds go wild over it. probably a dumb idea, but whatever. he starts off in the direction of home, still feeling completely miserable.

there's still no one there when he gets home.

chase peeks cautiously around each doorway, fear bubbling in his chest. "hello?" he called nervously. "hen? jackie? marv?"

the floorboards creak under his footsteps. there's no response.

chase hugs himself tightly and sits down on the couch, trembling slightly. please don't let him have gotten them. please, please, don't let him have gotten them.

he only waits for half an hour before he hears keys in the lock.

immediately he springs to his feet, racing to the kitchen and pulling out the largest kitchen knife he can find. if that glitch has taken his brothers, if he's coming to kill him, he's not gonna make it easy.

"hey, chase! sorry we were gone so long, we got sidetracked and - woah, woah, dude! put that thing down, it's just us!"

chase just stares at the man in the doorway. reddish hair, round glasses over dark blue eyes - he looks like jackie, but what if he's not? what if he's - what if -

jackie takes his hand and gently uncurls his fingers from the knife handle. chase can see henrik and marvin in the background, clutching a big box covered with a blanket between them, looking shocked. he's breathing very quickly. jackie takes the blade and puts it back into its drawer, slowly turning back to chase so as not to startle him.

"hey man, it's just us, ok?" jackie says, hands up. chase stares at his feet, trembling.

"thought you were - thought you were him," he mumbles, embarrassed. "you were all gone, no note or anything, i got scared."

"we left a note!" henrik says. he pushes the box into marvin's hands and comes to stand beside his brother. "didn't we? marvin, you left a note, right?"

"uh," marvin says. he struggles with the box in his hands. "i, uh, may have forgotten?"

henrik rolls his eyes. "we're sorry, chase. you were asleep and we didn't want to wake you."

chase was fixated on marvin."what's in the box?"

marvin grins, and sets the box down on the kitchen table. "ah, but take a look!" he announces in his best performer's voice. he leaps on top of a chair and spreads his hands out. "step right up, and admire the beauty, the majesty, the magnificence of -"

he lifts his arms, blue sparks trailing from his fingertips as he uses his magic to levitate the blanket from the box. he's gotten a lot better at controlling his magic again since his return, and he's absolutely showing it off. jackie and henrik both grab chase's hands as the blanket moves to reveal -

it's a black cat carrier. chase just stares at it, open mouthed, until he hears a small mewling from inside.

he claps his hands over his mouth and feels his eyes well up with tears.

"go see her!" jackie says, unable to contain himself any longer.

"yes, please do, i can't hold up this blanket all day," marvin laughs. he snatches the blanket from the air and looks down at chase, who's covered his face with his hands and is sobbing quietly.

"hey, hey!" henrik soothes, patting his arm gently. "what's wrong?"

chase wipes his face, giggling. "you guys!" he beamed, scrubbing away his tears. "did you really -"

"come see!" marvin says, and steps down from his chair to open the door of the carrier. "chase, come here and let her see you!"

chase peeks inside the carrier and sees a pair of bright blue eyes staring back at him. his breath catches, and he lets out a gasp. the kitten mewls again, taking a cautious step towards chase.

"we've been keeping her secret for weeks!" jackie grins, coming up behind chase. "she's from the shelter on the high street, she's six months old, her previous family couldn't care for her or her siblings so we decided to take her!"

"she's already been - what is the word? we had the spaying done for her." henrik explains. "we were going to take her home last week, but we decided to wait." he clicks his tongue, trying to get the kitten to come forward. she does so, hesitantly padding half out of the carrier onto the table. she cowers back slightly at all the people around her, and jackie, henrik and marvin step back to give chase and the kitten a bit of space.

chase removes a hand from his mouth and slowly, carefully, stretches it out for the kitten to sniff. she looks at him, then fully leaves her carrier and smells chase's hand. he admires her, a huge smile spreading across his face as she purrs quietly. her fur is fully black, and she's very small, her tail swishing around and batting chase's hand. he laughs, feeling more tears fall from his eyes.

"do you have any name ideas?" marvin asks.

chase nods. "jaffa cake."

jackie and marvin immediately burst into peals of laughter, while henrik just looks confused. "what - why jaffa cake?" he asked. "i mean, it is of course your choice, but -"

"jaffa cake." chase says firmly, and he grins widely. he gently strokes the kitten's head, and she allows it, purring softly. "i love her so, so much, guys, thank you so much! i - i don't even know what to say!"

jackie rushes forwards and throws his arms around chase, much to his surprise. "happy, happy, happy birthday!" he cheers.

marvin comes round to his side and ruffles his hair underneath his hats. "happy birthday, asshole." he chuckles.

henrik smiles awkwardly at the ground for a second before pulling chase into a huge hug. "ich liebe dich, chase brody," he beams, burying his face in his brother's shoulder.

and chase just breathes, trying not to cry any more as he swells with love, only held up by the three sets of arms wrapped around him. he sniffles, closing his eyes. "i love you guys so fucking much!" he sobs, and the four of them fall into a heap on the floor, giggling and holding on to each other like they were all that was keeping each other afloat.

[kaeda-the-wolf]

By the Night - Part 1

A/N: Part 1 of 3? Maybe 4? Or I may just do a part 1 and 2, and then have a 2 part sequel. We’ll see. Also, I don’t even know if police officers in Colombia use 10-Codes like law enforcement here in the US use, but ten-four or 10-4 just means ‘okay.’

Fairly short Carrillo/OC fic brought to you by this video and song. Set just a little bit before the start of the show.

Summary: Horacio may have forgotten it was his birthday, but Javier hasn’t. 

Word count: 1,416

Warnings: Some language

"Come on, man. It's just a couple of drinks."

Carrillo can hear the thump of the music before they're even out of the car and wonders yet again why in the hell he'd agreed to this. Agent Peña had been particularly determined to drag him out into town tonight, stubbornly countering every excuse Carrillo made in an attempt to get out of going until he was gritting his teeth in frustration. He'd conceded only after thirty minutes of arguing, and he'd done so only to get Peña to shut up. That asshole had something else planned, Carrillo was certain of it. 

"Why are we here," Carrillo questions as he glances up through the passenger side window at the bright, neon pink sign that reads El Místico.

"We're just here for a drink," Javier replies quickly, already halfway out of the vehicle. Carrillo scoffs. 

Just a drink, my ass, he thinks, because Peña's brought him to a dance club all the way on the other side of the city. This was not just drinks.

Going out for an occasional drink with Agent Peña was one thing; they typically talked about work, and work only. Carrillo would have one, maybe two drinks, and then he would leave and go home. Peña would usually cover the tab, because he usually drank more. This was just how things worked between the two of them. It was simple and didn't cross any kind of professional boundaries. 

This was something different, though, and he's not a fan of it. 

"Are you coming, or what?" 

Flashing a quick glare at Peña, Carrillo reluctantly gets out of the car. The music is even louder, now. 

"I'm not going to pretend I want to be here," Carrillo quips as they make their way towards the door. Peña merely grins, clapping him on the back. 

"You say that now, but we'll see how you're feeling after the night is over." 

Carrillo rolls his eyes, not amused by the certainty in Peña's tone as they enter the club. The moment they do, Carrillo is struck by such a strong smell of smoke and alcohol that it almost instantly makes him miss the cool night air outside. The place is packed with people, nearly all of whom are up dancing to the almost unbearably loud music. Peña is grinning like a cat who's caught a canary, face lit up by the strobing neon lights, and Carrillo is extremely tempted to hit him. Javier was the one who was a fan of places like this, not him. Sure, he'd enjoyed a wild party or two in his time, but he'd been younger then, and he'd long since lost interest in Colombia's nightlife. 

"Isn't this place awesome?" Javier questions, hollering over the music that's making Carrillo's teeth fucking rattle as they sit down at the bar. He doesn't answer. 

"I found this place a few months back," Javier continues. "It reminds me so much of one of the clubs I used to frequent back home. I fucking love it, but I really only come here on special occasions."

"Why have you brought me here then?" Carrillo questions as Peña flags down the bartender, ordering a few shots of Antioqueño for them both. 

"Are you serious, man?" 

"I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't," Carrillo answers flatly, downing one of his shots. The alcohol burns from his throat all the way down into his chest, but he doesn't mind. It's a welcome distraction from the music. 

"Wow," Javier huffs out with a chuckle. He leans back against the bar, running a hand over his face as he continues to laugh. Carrillo raises an eyebrow, completely lost as to what Peña finds so damn funny. He's about to open his mouth and ask, but the moment he does, he feels a hand on his shoulder.

He immediately goes tense, hand going for the pistol that's holstered on his side out of instinct. Carrillo's got his fingers wrapped around the grip, on the verge of drawing it, when a voice suddenly booms in his ear. 

"Hey, Major Carrillo!"

"For fuck's sake Riano, keep your voice down, will you? We don't need the entire club knowing we're cops."

Carrillo relaxes, settling his gun back down in its holster upon recognizing the second voice. He turns around on the barstool as the hand planted on his shoulder is pulled away and comes face to face with two of his fellow officers. His close friend and right hand man, Trujillo, grins sheepishly, doing his best to keep an obviously drunk Riano upright. 

"Sorry boss," he says, somehow still managing to sound soft spoken, despite the fact that he's basically yelling. They all are.  "I forgot he was such a lightweight."

"You know he'll find no sympathy from me when he has a hangover at work in the morning."

That makes Trujillo grin even more. 

"Ten-four, boss. I know," his second replies as he slings Riano's arm over his shoulder. Riano is slurring out a whole mess of garbled words that make little sense, and what does make sense is not very friendly. Perpetually calm and collected, Trujillo takes the cursing in stride as he deposits an incredibly shit-faced Riano onto a barstool that's one down from where he sits. Carrilo watches in amusement, but it only lasts so long as it takes for Trujillo to sit down next to him before he's turning back to Peña to question him on what the hell is going on. 

"Have you figured it out yet," Peña asks with a smirk. 

Carrillo hasn't. He doesn't have a clue what the fuck is going on, why Javier has dragged him here to this club, or why he had apparently invited two of his most trusted officers and closest friends along as well. 

Javier chuckles again and with a quick gesture, he hails the bartender over. He flashes her a charming grin, one she's quick to return.

"What can I get for you, Javi," she asks in a low, sultry tone as she leans forward against the counter top in front of him. Peña takes a moment to look her up and down, undoubtedly appreciating how low cut the top she's wearing is. 

"My dear Rosa, would you [i]please[/i] tell my clueless friend over here-" Peña claps him on the back and Carrillo can't help but scowl, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance. He [i]definitely[/i] should not have agreed to this.

"-what day it is," Javi finishes, brandishing an overly amused and smug face as he finishes speaking. Trujillo is grinning as well, now, and Carrillo is getting more irritated by the second. It's not often that he's left out of the loop, and he feels like he's on the outs of a particularly funny inside joke between Peña and his men.

"You want the date," the bartender questions as she stands up straight again, sending Carrillo a sour look that very plainly says she was expecting a far different answer from the flirty DEA agent. 

"It's April 18th." 

Realization hits him like a truck. Javier bringing him here to this club, the drinks, the presence of Trujillo and Riano, it all suddenly makes perfect sense and holy shit how could he have forgotten what day it was?

"You rat bastards," Carrillo growls with an amused shake of his head as he downs his second shot. Trujillo chuckles next to him and Carrillo doesn't even have to look Peña's way to see the triumphant look on his face. 

"See," Javier chimes, "I told you it was a special occasion!"

"Go fuck yourself, Peña," he shoots back, giving the agent a small smile to let him know he was joking. He’d be lying if he said he wasn't touched by the fact that, even through the chaos and constant grind of trying to deal with the narcos, they had remembered this. 

"Believe me, Carrillo, in a place like this, I won't have to. And neither will you."

There's another wave of laughter, and Carrillo is about to come back at Peña with a retort of his own, but he's cut off by Riano. He's on his feet again, practically climbing over top of Trujillo with his drink raised in the air. Miraculously, whatever he's drinking stays in the glass. 

"To Carrillo!" he shouts, slurring the first couple of syllables. Trujillo smiles, raising his own glass. Javier follows suit. 

"Happy birthday, Carrillo!"

____

@chelsfic​ @1zashreena1​ @squidlywiddly87​ @sparrows-books​ 

[jimlingss]

Jungle Park [5]

Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6

➜ Words: 4.3k

➜ Genres: Fluff, Light Humour (?), Slice of Life, Workplace Romance!AU

➜ Summary: The equation is simple. Hoseok needs to hire someone. You need a job. Except like any actual equation, it’s not fucking simple at all! Not when you have to add the fact that he was forced to hire someone he doesn’t want in his office, he has little respect for your job in general, and oh yeah...once upon a time you might have—*CENSORED*.

➜ Warnings: swearing and taxi passengers slut shaming and being general assholes.

It’s too hard to stay awake.   It’s...too—…...difficult…..   “Y/N?” You’re shaken awake by someone’s hand coming to gently squeeze your shoulder. Immediately, you jolt back to life, looking around to find yourself in the office. Right. “Are you alright?”   Sunyi comes back into focus and you realize Hyuk and Lisa are already looking at you, watching your face as if you have a spider on your forehead and they don’t want to scare it away. “What? Oh, sorry. I was...um...distracted for a second there. What did you say?”   You can tell she doesn’t quite believe you, but the lawyer doesn’t push it either. “A bunch of us are going to dinner tonight. We were wondering if you wanted to join us?”   “Dinner?” This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. It’s what you’ve always wanted. To finally be a part of the group, catch late night drinks or eat food, to actually befriend these people beyond the workplace setting. “I would love to….but...tonight?”   Of all nights. Why tonight?   “You can’t make it?”   “I...already have plans.” It hurts so bad — it’s like you’re a kid who’s been waiting for your birthday for months and on the day of, it turns out you can’t even attend your own party because of a dentist appointment.   “Aw.” Hyuk hangs his head and pouts, eyes flickering down the expanse of your body quicker than you can even register. “What a shame, thought I’d be able to finally get to know you.”   “I’m sorry. I should’ve known.”   Maybe it looks like you’re about to burst into tears, because then Sunyi smiles softly. “No, it’s okay. How could you have known? There’ll be plenty of other times. How about lunch tomorrow?”   “Lunch?” There’s a tone of hope and eagerness in your voice and you know you’re being pretty childish and pathetic, but you’re too exhausted to put on a more professional façade. “That works for me. I’ll clear up my schedule.”   “Alright.” Sunyi grins. “Tomorrow, a bunch of us can gather up for lunch.”   You smile, nodding your head. “Sounds good.”   A handful of people from the office begin to file out at five o’clock. You bid them a goodbye and goodnight. But someone else lingers behind and she seems to hesitate. “Hey, Y/N.” Lisa stands to the side and you wonder if anything’s wrong — ironic considering her next question is addressed to you. “Are you okay?”   “Yeah, I’m fine,” you reassure her with your lips upturned.   The receptionist nods. “Okay. Goodnight then.”   “Bye.” You watch as she catches up with the group, slightly touched that she shows concern for your well-being. Though, the question lingers in your head — ARE you okay? If you’re completely frank with yourself, you’re not sure.   On the way home, you accidentally fall asleep on the subway. Your head bobs up and down and ends up on the shoulder of a granny and you apologize profusely, nearly hurting your neck when you try to use your own shoulder as support. Then once you make it home, you fall on the couch to take a two hour nap. A symphony of blaring alarms is what you wake up to. After, you force yourself to get up, you wash your face, eat something quick, have a cup of coffee…   Then….   “Hello!” You twist around to face the backseat with a bright smile. “Where are you off to tonight?”   “The Kelpers Club on seventh avenue,” one of the three guys say and you nod, pulling off the curb and into the road.   “Oh, fuck!” The dude from the left seat startles you, but when you glance at the rear-view mirror, thankfully he’s not talking to you. He’s staring at the screen of his phone and his friends are glancing over. “Look what Tiffany just sent me.”   “Holy shit!” They reach over to punch the guy in the arm, laughing and grinning. They’re a rowdy and obnoxious bunch, but you try your best to keep focus on the road ahead of you. “Dude, you need to send me that. I could probably rub three or four out with that hot pic.”   They each have a water bottle with them, taking sips every so often and by the smell of their breaths that waft over to ruin your breathing space, you’re almost certain that it isn’t water they have in there. “Did you really tap that last night?”   “Yeah.” He smirks. “She keeps on texting me though. It’s so fucking annoying. Clingy bitch. It’s no wonder her boyfriend of four years cheated on her with her best friend. And she thinks we’re an exclusive item just cause I took her out once. What a joke. She’s desperate and a mess.”   Your left eye twitches and you run the yellow light that you normally would’ve slowed down at. The dude in the center laughs. “But c’mon, how is she? How does she take it?”   The other lets out a snort and rolls his shoulder. “You wouldn’t believe it if I told you. She’s a freak. She wanted me to slap and spank her. The skank choked on me like five times and even took it in the ass.”   “Holy shit!” They’re in an uproar, piercing sound of their chortles deafening to your ears. They punch him again, saying things like he’s a lucky bastard and what they would give to be in that position. But what’s the absolutely last straw for you is— “You could probably get it in if you want. I bet she’d like taking two or three cocks at once too. Tiffany is a massive slut.”   They roar and howl like animals in heat and one of them opens their mouth to add a comment, but you floor the gas on an empty street and their bodies lurch forward. “Do you want me to change the radio?” you interrupt before anything else can be said and before your blood pressure spikes more than it has.   “No. It’s fine.” They catch themselves when you stop at a red light.   “Do you want me to turn on the heating or air conditioning?”   “We’re fine,” one of them grunts out in annoyance. You ignore him and slam off the air conditioning, rolling all the windows up to seal shut and hitting the heating button. It begins to blast, though you don’t mind if you get too warm. It’s much too rewarding to look at the rear-view mirror and see all three guys squished up against each other, extremely hot and uncomfortable, hair becoming wet with sweat. You hope their vodka gets too warm and stale to drink.   “I’m having trouble finding the destination,” you lie without blinking twice. You loop around and around the blocks, purposely driving over the manholes at full speed and enjoying how the car launches slightly at every bump and they hit their heads on the roof of the small vehicle.   “It’s the left!”   “Left or right?” You feign innocence and stupidity as if you don’t understand basic directions. “Which one?!”   “Left!” He shouts.   You twist your wrist roughly, swerving the steering wheel to the right. “Oops!”   “What the hell?!” They’re in disbelief and you kill fifteen minutes, going all over the blocks and taking wrong turns, somehow even ending in the suburban area. When you’re satisfied with messing with them, you pull up on the curb...in the middle of nowhere.   “Whelp, we’re here.” You turn around with a blazing smile and their jaws are dropped, brows furrowed, finding the situation completely absurd. “It’s just down the block.” More like down thirty blocks. “The traffic is too much to get close. Sorry ‘bout that.”   “There’s no traffic,” one of them says, but you ignore them and they pull out their wallets to split the fare. They get out one by one with deep scowls, slamming the car doors shut, hard enough to damage your precious taxi. Before closing the last door, one of them pops their head through and mutters something you hear loud and clear, “dumb bitch.”   You end up driving directly into a mud puddle, splashing them in the brown slush and making it look like they collectively shat in their pants. You cackle as you pull off into the street again.   They didn’t even tip you.   “Hello. Where are you off to tonight?”   “The airport, please.”   “Certainly.”   It’s not like you’re passionate about taxi driving. You specifically sought out the HR position to leave this behind, to actually chase after what you want. But here you are, crawling back to your old career and balancing between your day and night job.   Even though Hoseok declared a truce between the two of you, you still can’t get rid of the feeling that he might fire you one day. You wouldn’t know what to do if one day you’re seated on the other side of the conference table with Jimin and Hoseok across from you, delivering the news that you’re not needed anymore. You wouldn’t know what to do if you’re thrown off on the street without a job. You wouldn’t be able to pay your bills. You wouldn’t be able to pay for food.   More importantly, you would have to move back with your mom.   The nightmare haunts you.   And you still have the lease on the cab. It’s been sitting in your apartment parking spot — might as well use it, right? At the end of the night, you get another wad of cash that goes directly into your savings. Doing this is better than sitting at home and worrying about your future, mindlessly watching television and surfing the internet, walking around, and….sleeping.   A little bit of sleep sacrificed isn’t a big deal.   Your eight-hours of sleep is merely split up throughout the day — naps taken on the subway to and from the firm, a two hour slumber before taking the taxi night-shift, another four hours afterwards before heading to the office. Occasionally, you might doze off in your office too, but no one really notices when you turn your chair towards the window and it seems like you’re staring out at the cityline.   Thankfully, Hoseok hasn’t noticed either.   “Excuse me?” The girl in the backseat stirs awake from her drowsiness, looking out the window. “I think we’re here.”   “Oh, sorry. I was thinking about someone—......I mean something. I was thinking about something.” You scramble with a laugh, parking the car and getting out to help with the passenger’s luggage in the trunk. She doesn’t seem that upset with you, even smiling and thanking you for the ride, tipping you a decent five dollars.   Things aren’t too bad.   “Aren’t you driving too slow?” A middle age woman impatiently quacks in the backseat of your car, pushing herself up closer to you. “Can’t you go faster?”   “Uh...I’ll try my best.”   Really, things aren’t too horrible.   ….   It could be worse.   //   The only thing you’re looking forward to is lunch. When you wake up in the morning, you’re already buzzing with excitement. As pathetic as it is, you can’t remember the last time you shared a meal with other people. If things go well, then people in the office will really begin to get comfortable with you and maybe you’ll have a few workplace friends that will become your friends out of work too. You’re excited, and you hope it doesn’t show too much.   “Hey, ready for lunch today?” Sunyi has popped into your office first thing in the morning with a smile. “You didn’t forget, did you?”   “Of course I didn’t,” you laugh.   “Good. We’re going down the block to that italian restaurant. They have a really good lunch menu, cheesesteak and sandwiches and soups too.”   “That sounds great,” your cheeks are almost bursting with your smile. “Who’s coming along with us?”   “You and I obviously,” she jests in a light tone. “And also Seulgi, Namjoon, Hoseok and unfortunately, the leech freeloader Min Yoongi. Trust me, I didn’t want him to join, but he self invited himself like the asshole that he is. He invited himself and Hoseok. I knew I shouldn’t have talked about it with Seulgi when we were all in the elevator earlier...”   You stifle back a laugh. “That’s completely fine.”   “Alright, see you later then.” The woman sighs and checks her phone briefly. “Gotta get some work done before we run on out.”   Your head nods once and she’s on her way.   //   For the first hour, you focus on running through more applications and looking for a suitable paralegal. There still hasn’t been anyone hired to fill Sebin’s position, but there’s not too big of a rush. Hoseok would rather you take your time to go through and choose carefully, rather than picking someone right off the bat. Plus, he’s also told you that things are actually running fairly well with the three paralegals already on the team, smoother than he expected.   You make a few phone calls, setting up interview dates and times. But then someone stops by your office. “Hey,” Namjoon greets you and before you can ask if he needs any help, he beats you to the punch. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m helping Jimin with mediation. The client re-booked it at twelve thirty, so I don’t think I can go later.”   “No, it’s okay. Work takes priority anyways,” you wave him off and he smiles, promising he’ll make time some other day for lunch. Not another twenty minutes pass by before you find yet another person standing at your doorway, balancing a huge mountain of files. “Are you alright?”   “I don’t know,” Seulgi admits in all honesty and looks like she’s on the verge of tears. “I just remembered I forgot to submit the affidavits and orders yesterday that were given to me by Jungkook and I think Hoseok’s going to fire the both of us if it’s not in submission. I’m helping him and we both have to run down there and I don’t know how long it’s going to take or if it’s even possible at this point—”   “Seulgi,” you call her name calmly to reassure the girl. “It’s okay.”   “I’m so, so sorry. Can I ask for a rain check?”   “Of course you can. I’m always free.”   By eleven o’clock, a full hour before the designated time, there’s another person at your door. This time, it’s a shorter man with full cheeks and messy black hair. He rubs at his sleepy eyes, barely able to keep them open. But when he looks at you and you look at him, it’s like a telepathic message is sent. “Can’t make it?”   “Yeah,” Min Yoongi responds in a husky tone as if he just got up from a nap, but plans to take another.   “It’s okay.”   But is it? — Really. — Is this okay?   There’s nothing you can really do even if all your insides are crying. What? Should you just drop to the ground and start crying? You’re going to need at least five shots before you throw a temper tantrum at your workplace. Things get busy, life gets busy, people get busy. You’re more than understanding and it’s just lunch. There will be plenty more opportunities to come. So…   “It’s fine,” you reassure the lawyer in front of you who has her bottom lip quivering and her brows furrowed deep enough you’re certain that wrinkles will permanently mar her skin.   “I’m so, so sorry. I know you were looking forward to this. I just had no idea that my schedule was already booked up with a client. I….I could change it and we can still go out—”   “Don’t be ridiculous.” You laugh, thankful that she’s worried this much over it. At least it’s better than the times in High School where people invited you out and didn’t even show up because ‘it’s just a prank, bro’. Your hand goes to gently squeeze Sunyi’s shoulder, channeling your maternal voice that doesn’t really exist to soothe her. “We can do this some other day. I’m gonna be around for a long time, so there will be plenty more opportunities. Just focus on work since that’s what you’re here to do anyways. It’s really not that big of a deal.”   “Okay, thank you,” Sunyi breathes a long sigh of relief, happy that you didn’t take the unfortunate circumstances to heart. Little does she know just how disappointed you are.   Reminds you of that time your mom promised you to go to Disneyland and you ended up Chuck E. Cheese instead.   //   At twelve o’clock sharp, Hoseok appears at your door with his phone in hand. You stare at him, waiting for him to say something as he stares at the screen and his thumbs move, probably texting someone important. It’s an awkward thirty seconds that feel like a whole two minutes before he puts down the device and looks at you. He frowns and takes a peek out your door.   “Is there no one else?”   “No.” You scratch the back of your neck before putting your palms in your lap. “Everyone is busy.” It’s only you and him. You’re not sure how you feel about that; maybe partly tense and apprehensive while the other part doesn’t mind so much.   “Okay.” Hoseok shrugs nonchalantly, hands in his coat pockets. “There’s no point in going then.”   “Oh...yeah…” You stand up awkwardly, trying to shuffle past him. Your stomach makes a noise that doesn’t sound too healthy and you hope he can’t hear it. “I’ll uh...I’ll just grab something from the kitchen then.”   “Wait.” He stops you, grabbing your wrist before you can run off. When he realizes he’s touched you without permission, he lets go right away, mumbling some kind of apology before you tell him it’s fine.   “You didn’t bring anything with you?” He asks and you don’t answer. Jung Hoseok must read your expression like an open book because then he smiles slightly. “Okay, nevermind, let’s go.”   “Pardon?”   “Just the two of us,” he says and walks off, making you stumble behind him and try to match his wide, fast strides. The lawyer glances over his shoulder towards you. “You don’t mind right?”   “I...I don’t mind.” Except a one-on-one lunch with your boss is not what you envisioned.   Instead of the fancy italian cafe, you follow his lead into a hole-in-the-wall. It’s a warm and cozy atmosphere, with two or three other tables full. Interestingly enough, they serve comfort food and the menu is deprived of a variety of different cultures. You end making an order of porridge with a side of mac and cheese and he orders curry with cold noodles.   It’s served quickly and all at the same time, so you don’t hesitate to dig in.   The only problem is when silence settles down, you’re not sure what to say. You’re not even sure where to look. Glancing up and locking your eyes with his only makes it more excruciatingly awkward.   “You know, I already told you that you don’t have to tiptoe around me,” Hoseok mutters and takes a large bite, looking up at you with his arm propped up on the table, holding a spoon and completely amused as he gawks at you.   “What?”   “You’re always stiff and nervous around me. But I won’t bite your head off…….probably.”   “I’m not nervous,” you defend yourself even when it’s a massive lie.   Hoseok laughs and almost chokes on his food. “Yeah, you are. Your eyes keep shifting and I can see that you’re beginning to sweat. You know…” He leans closer like he’s about to exchange a secret. “...makes it seem like you did something wrong or you’re a criminal. Last I checked, I’m not a criminal attorney, so I’m not sure I can help you if you did something illegal.”   You take a spoonful of the porridge, letting the taste linger on your tongue for a second before you stuff your cheek to chew a bit and swallow it down. “The only illegal thing I’ve one is steal someone’s wifi and probably jaywalking.”   “Wait, I should record this confession for evidence,” he teases with a mischievous glint in his eyes and a massive grin. You wonder if the other people at this office know this side of him. “These are very serious crimes. How many times have you jaywalked and who’s wifi have you stolen?”   “Oh please.” You roll your eyes. “You act like you haven’t done anything ‘illegal’ either.”   He scoffs at how you use air quotations with your fingers, also slightly offended. “Just letting you know, I live a very morally upright life. I don’t break the law. I work for the law. In fact, I am the law.”   “Yeah, right.” You click your tongue in feigned annoyance, muffling back some laughter. “What about that time you were drunk and passed out in front of the library? Made me have to drag you back. That’s public intoxication.”   “I did what?”   Your eyes go wide. Right. He doesn’t remember. You might’ve gotten too carried away, too caught up when he’s sitting right across from you, and it’s only you and him. But there’s no going back now, you might as well mess with him. “Or that time you shoplifted an entire refrigerator. And that time you started a pimp business to pay off your loans. Those were the days, right, Hoseok?”   “No way.” He leans back and crosses his arms, trying to repress his laughter that threatens to spill over. “I would never. That’s something I can’t believe. You need to come up with more reasonable lies than that, Y/N.”   Your food is left abandoned when you’re trying hard not to break into hysterical laughter. “So you believe how you wanted to piss in a library book, but ended up passing out in front of the library instead?”   There’s a long held silence. “That…..I can believe.”   A cheeky grin is plastered on your face, making your jaw ache a bit and you take a few more bites before your pupils flicker up. “Thanks, by the way. Just thought I’d say that.”   “For what?” He eats, chewing and swallowing, taking a sip of his water in the process.   “This. I mean...you didn’t have to come along with me.”   “You make it sound like I’m going to treat you to this.” The lawyer points a fork towards you and narrows his eyes while the corner of his mouth twitches oh so slightly. “Is that your tactic? You think I’m going to pay for your meal?”   “No!” You can’t help your giggles. “That’s not what I’m trying to say!”   “I can see right through you.” He has a playful smile and eyes you. The glare is less sharp and pointed, lacking real animosity or frustration. It’s much cuter and the stark contrast from him outside and joking around to his professionalism in the office nearly gives you whiplash.   “I saw your photo on the firm’s website.” It’s a little out of nowhere, but the thought pops into your head as you stare at the man. “And no offence, but you look way better in real life. You’re not photogenic at all.”   “Is that an insult?” Jung Hoseok gasps theatrically and you wonder why he didn’t just major in drama and become a comedic actor. He seems to have a knack for it.   “It’s not!”   “Or are you trying to say I’m handsome?” He puts down his utensil and nods. “Oh, I see. You don’t want me to pay for your meal. Thinking big picture, huh? You’re trying to say I’m a lot more handsome in real life because you want a raise, don’t you?!”   “I never said that!” At this point, the two of you are so loud that a few patrons are looking over, but none of you notice. He twists your words so much, it’s ridiculous and you’re left baffled and laughing. Maybe it was right for him to be a lawyer after all.   “You think I wouldn’t see your strategy.” He scrapes his bowl, eating everything that’s left while mischievously shaking his head in feigned disapproval. “Trying to boost my ego for a raise. How low is that. But what’s even more unbelievable is that it’s working. Keep going.”   You laugh again, this time refusing to utter even one syllable or make a sound. Hoseok finishes eating in the meanwhile and you pierce the carrots on your plate, putting it on his clean one. He looks up at you with brows raised. “You hate carrots? I never thought you’d be a picky eater.”   “No, I don’t hate it,” you muse. “You like it, don’t you?”   If it’s possible, his brows raise even higher. “How did you know?”   You shrug, looking away from him. “Let’s just say, I really want that raise.”   “Pft.” He pierces the carrot with the fork, inhaling it all at once and chews thoughtfully. “You better not be stalking me.”   “I won’t need to if I get a little somethin’-somethin’.” You rub your fingers on one hand together, indicating a thick wad of cash and he grins, eating the carrot happily.   A few months ago, if someone told you that one day you’d be sitting across from Hoseok and actually conversing and even laughing like normal adults, you would’ve probably floored the gas pedal of your taxi to get away in fear of that person being absolutely insane.   You expected to have lunch with coworkers and perhaps establish friendships out of the workplace. You definitely didn’t think you’d end up rekindling some kind of ancient relationship with your boss. But you don’t mind at all. It’s just more than what you bargained for in the best way possible.

[atlfics]

Eighteen- All Time Low Fanfiction

A/N: This is set in their senior of high school.

“I don’t know how we haven’t talked about this yet, but your birthday is two weeks from today, dude! The big eighteen!” Alex exclaimed to Jack, his bet friend, as he started to drive them out of the school parking lot.

“Oh yeah, it is,” Jack replied in a very unenthused voice. He turned his head and started to stare out the window.

“You don’t sound very excited, man, are you not looking forward to it?” Alex asked, genuinely confused.

“No, I am, really. Let’s talk about this later, like at your house or something,” Jack requested, still looking out the window.

“Oh, um, okay, we can do that. Let’s listen to some Blink for the rest of the drive,” Alex suggested. He hit the skip button on his stereo until he finally found Jack’s favorite song on the CD that was playing. The rest of the drive was filled with silence aside from the music, Alex focused on driving, and Jack still staring out the window. Once they finally got to Alex’s house, Alex led Jack inside, and up to his room.

“Man, I’m so glad it’s Friday, I had two tests this week, and in my least favorite classes! I’m glad we planned for you to sleep over,” Alex said as he put down his backpack. After not hearing a response from Jack, Alex turned around and saw Jack sitting on his bed with a blank expression on his face. This concerned Alex, he really had no idea what could be bothering Jack so much. Alex walked over to his bed and sat down next to his best friend.

“Jack, you’re not acting like yourself, what’s up?” Alex asked, sounding as concerned as he felt.

“What? No, I’m fine,” Jack tried, a very unconvincing smile forming on his face.

“Dude, we’ve been friends for, like, five years now, I know you well enough to know that’s bullshit. Seriously man, what’s up? You’ve not been yourself ever since I brought up your birthday in the car, did that trigger something in you?” Alex continued. Jack took a deep breath before talking.

“Yes, it did, Alex,” Jack admitted.

“Really? You normally love your birthday, you always insist on having big, extravagant celebrations. Well, as big and extravagant as we can afford with our shitty, minimum wage jobs,” Alex joked.

“I know, and I still want to do that, but I’m a little nervous,” Jack admitted.

“For what? You’re officially going to be an adult!” Alex exclaimed.

“I know, I’ll be an adult in two weeks, we graduate high school in two months. Man, where the fuck did the time go?” Jack asked.

“I’m surprised to hear this from you, you’ve been ready to be out of high school since the first day of our freshman year. What’s going on in your mind, Jack?” Alex asked, hoping that Jack would just say what was bothering him so much.

“I don’t feel like I’ve lived my life to the fullest since we’ve been in high school,” Jack confessed.

“Really? We did a lot of the same things, and I certainly don’t feel that way,” Alex said back.

“Alex, our experiences weren’t as similar as you think they were. Sure, they were alike when we were together, but not so much outside of that,” Jack explained.

“That’s where I’m drawing a blank. We’re best friends, we basically do everything together,” Alex stated.

“Kind of. You’ve always had more friends than me, so you’ve always done more because of that,” Jack said back.

“What? You have plenty of friends! Everyone I’m friends with likes you!” Alex stated.

“No, they all put up with me. All of your friends are nice guys, but there’s absolutely no way they’d want to hang out with me if you weren’t there. Alex, I never really had a lot of friends, especially my own friends, like outside of you and your group. I feel like I missed out on a lot because of that,” Jack stated, looking down in embarrassment.

“I don’t think that at all! You and I have hung out so much, and have done so many fun things together, and I wouldn’t have wanted it to be any different. Is this the only thing bothering you?” Alex asked.

“Well, no. I also haven’t ever had a real girlfriend. I know you’re single now, but you dated that one girl for two whole years, and I’ve never had anything like that,” Jack explained.

“Dude, that girl ended up being batshit crazy in the last months of our relationship, I know you remember that. Whenever she’d do or say something hurtful, I always went to you. Then, you ended up helping me through our breakup. Being in a high school relationship really doesn’t live up to all of the hype that surrounds it. If I could go back and just be single all throughout high school like you were, I would. Everything would’ve been so much easier,” Alex explained.

“I understand all of that, but you still had the experience of having a girlfriend, meanwhile, I’ve never even come close to having anything like that. Even if I had a shitshow relationship, it still would’ve been an experience that I could laugh about now, like you do about your ex. Also, when we went to prom last month, you were like the center of attention on the dancefloor, and I sat at a table alone by the punch bowl,” Jack pointed out.

“Well, I certainly didn’t expect that to happen, my date apparently really liked to dance. I expected to just take pictures with her, then to spend the evening with you, doing our own thing,” Alex stated.

“I know, but that’s not what happened. Everyone seemed to have so much fun that night, and I was all alone in the corner. I’ve never told you this, but I cried when I was by myself. Being alone reminded me of how alone I’ve felt all throughout high school, aside from being with you, and really solidified that in my mind,” Jack said, his voice getting smaller.

“Jack, I had no idea, I wish I’d known that. I never knew that you felt like this, or that you cried on prom night. How come you’ve never told me about any of this?” Alex asked, growing more concerned for his friend.

“I don’t know, I guess these feelings come in waves, like only if I think about it, or if something reminds me of it. I just feel like I wasted my teenage years doing nothing. I didn’t live them to the fullest; I didn’t party very much, I didn’t even try to form other close friendships aside from you, I never fell in love. I went to prom, but I didn’t go to the after party with you and your other friends, I spent the evening alone at home. I just feel like I missed out on the key parts of being a teenager in high school. Turning eighteen scares the shit out of me, like, I’m still technically going to be a teenager, but it’s different. Just knowing that I can’t go back and have fun makes me sad, and I just regret how I spent high school. I feel like I fucked up and lived my teen years incorrectly,” Jack explained. Some tears started to form in his eyes out of frustration, and Jack did his best to quickly blink them away, feeling even more embarrassed now.

“Jack, there’s not a ‘right’ way to be a teenager, more specifically, a high schooler. I know all of the movies and TV shows seem to have it down to a formula, but that’s not real. It can be hard to see all of that and tell yourself that it’s just a show or movie, but that’s what it is. Those things expect you to feel inferior to them, they set a standard that might not be realistic for everyone, which is kind of fucked up. I’ve not done everything that’s in those movies. I think I went to one football and one basketball game over the entire time we’ve gone to school here. That’s a big deal in all of those movies and shows, but I don’t feel like I missed out by not going to them. Being at those things never felt fun to me, and I realized that they’re just not for me. I felt like I should do things like that for the same reason you’re feeling so down, and it made me upset with myself, like I was throwing away a fun opportunity. Last year, I realized that not going is what I preferred, and that’s perfectly okay. Jack, you don’t have to have a picture-perfect high school career for it to be considered right or correct,” Alex explained, putting a hand on Jack’s shoulder.

“I appreciate you saying all of that, I really do, I just wish that I tried to build more real connections with people. I know you remember I had some toxic friends our first year, and that sort of stopped me from wanting to find other friends. Like, it made trusting that other people wouldn’t do all of the same things really hard, so I never really tried to find new friends in the fear that I’d get hurt again,” Jack explained.

“I understand your frustrations about that, but it’s okay to not have a lot of close friends. I can definitely understand the loneliness that comes with it, but it’s really okay. The people here weren’t who clicked with you, that’s perfectly okay, man. We go to college in, like, five months. We’re going to the same school, and we’re going to be roommates, and we’re going to meet all new people, and we’ll make new, real, genuine friendships. It’s okay that you didn’t have a lot of close friends, we’re going to go to this new place, and you can do everything you mentioned earlier, but there!” Alex exclaimed.

“Well, I can’t really redo prom,” Jack mumbled.

“Oh, but you can. College has formal, which is basically college prom! I know turning eighteen makes all of this feel more real and scary, but it’s all totally okay. I’ve got your back, I’ll do everything I can to help college be more fun for you than high school was,” Alex promised.

“While that sounds great, I don’t want you to feel like you have to babysit me or watch out for me constantly. I don’t want to be a burden to you in college, like I already feel I was in high school,” Jack said, a guilty look on his face.

“Jack, you’ve never been a burden. You’re my best friend, you know I’ll do whatever I can to help you feel happy, and that’s not going to change when we get to college. I’m always going to be here for you, helping and supporting you in every way I can. You’ve always been a great friend to me, and I want to be the same for you,” Alex said, making Jack smile.

“Thank you, Alex, that all means a lot to me. I still feel like I could’ve lived a little more in high school, and I wish I hadn’t isolated myself as much, but thank you for this. I’ve always compared my experiences to movies and shows, and it’s made me feel less than. I’m glad we’ve been friends for all of these years, and that we’ll be in college together,” Jack said, making Alex smile now, too.

“You’re so welcome. Fuck those movies and shows, dude, you did things your way, and that’s what matters. I’ll do my best to help you feel less isolated when we get to college. We’re going to make the next four years our definition of perfect. Fuck what the movies about college say is right, we’re going to do it our way,” Alex stated.

“You’re the best,” Jack said as they quickly hugged each other. While Jack was still a bit nervous to officially become an adult, he was glad to have Alex by his side, and that he was willing do what he could to help Jack through anything and everything.

A/N: Hey guys, I impulsively decided to write this last night! I've felt similarly to Jack in this, but I actually wrote it for a friend who's feeling this way right now. Obviously, I altered reality some to make it work, but I like how it turned out, and hope you guys do, too. To the person I wrote this for, I hope you liked it, and that it was helpful! Thank you all for reading, please send in requests if you have them! Lots of love, Liv.

[artificialqueens]

Elastic Heart - Part 4 (Branjie) - Mia Ugly

A/N: Things are heating up. A bit. Like at least a simmer. 

Brock was an emotional child. He said it on the show and it’s the truth. Growing up, he was labeled “too sensitive,” the little boy who rescued spiders instead of stomping them, who cried over books (don’t even get him started on Where the Red Fern Grows) and was quiet at birthday parties. It didn’t take him long as a teenager to realize that being that sort of person was not okay at all (what are you GAY or something?), and so brick by brick, he built walls. 

You keep walls up long enough and you start to think they’ve always been there. That you’ve always been a private person, the kind that would make a joke instead of acknowledging a shared pain.  The kind that would force a smile while the world was ending.

You start to think, maybe, you were born with those walls around your heart.

Maybe the walls are your heart.  

But Brock knows that even brick doesn’t last forever. In Toronto you’d see the old buildings starting to crumble in the winter, damaged by water that froze and cracked their foundations.  Brick walls can chip, can shatter.  Brock’s spent his twenties and early thirties in perpetual maintenance because he knows (he knows) you let a little bit of emotion through, you lose a little bit of self-control, and you lose everything.

Sometimes he feels an odd sort of - not jealousy exactly, but something hungry around queens like Yvie, queens that can go places, be self-righteous and furious and vulnerable, without falling completely to pieces.  Queens like Silky who can rage and shout and then move on like the storm never came.

Queens like Vanjie.

Episode 6 is a tough watch. Vanjie crying in the werkroom is physically painful, and Brock puts on a brave face, smiles for his friends and does not let his walls down. He can’t afford to.

Episode 7 is tough in a different way. It’s beyond uncomfortable watching himself talk about personal things on television, hard not to feel like the worst sort of demure Canadian stereotype.  He watches Untucked at an after-after-party, and that’s even worse. Everyone seems to love his stupid face, mugging for the fucking camera (and he remembers being a little buzzed but nowhere near as drunk as the world seems to think he is.  Those cocktails are more than half ice and probably watered-down vodka anyway.)

More than that, though, is the sight of Vanjie. He hates the way her eyes go dark with surprise and injury after Yvie calls her out. He hates the argument that follows. He even hates the sight of himself building a fucking pillow-fort (incredible legs aside, he’s not blind). It seemed funny enough at the time but now - not so much.

Sometime around 2 am, his phone rings. 

Brock is not asleep. He fumbles for a moment on the side table, forgetting briefly that he’s in a hotel and not in his own bed. (He’s always in a hotel these days.  And that’s fine.  It’s fine.) 

“‘lo?”

“Hi mama.”

Breathe in.  Hold.  Breathe out.

“Hi papi.”

There is music in the background, dulled slightly but still Brock can make out the thump of a DJ, the thunder of a dancefloor. Jose must be in the dressing room of a club. 

Brock imagines him, shining with sweat after a show, out of heels but still in lip gloss.  If he closes his eyes he can see him, an image distorted by fantasy and loss, bright strokes of crimson oil-paint. 

“How you doing?” Jose asks and Brock swallows down a million replies that are too painful to say. 

Instead - because he bottles up his feelings like a normal person - he says “Good.” (There are walls around his heart, and they are wrapped in thorns.) “Good. How are you?”

“I’m good.” 

Both of them breathe together, and it’s simultaneously too intimate and too distant. The last time they spoke - the last time Brock heard this voice there were tears in his eyes and bile in his mouth and ashes all over the runway - 

“Good,” he says stupidly, and Jose laughs. 

It’s a brittle sort of laugh, but Brock still  wishes to God he hadn’t heard it.  Jose’s laugh is something deadly, a poison-tipped arrow straight to the heart.  

“Just watching the show tonight, girl. Thought I’d give you a call.”

“Okay.” Brock hesitates to respond, certain he’s going to fuck this up.  It’s the first time in months he’s got Jose on the phone; fucking it all up is the only possible option. 

“It’s a trip, hey, seeing it on TV. Feels like I’m watching someone else.”

“Yeah,” Brock says.  Fuck, he’s really cementing those accusations of having no personality. Say something. Say something.

But he doesn’t. There is too much unsaid between them, all those words stacking up behind Brock’s teeth when he tries to speak, his throat when he tries to swallow. He’s imagined this conversation too many times to count, and now all he can do is listen in silence to the sound of Jose’s breathing, still audible over the music that’s pulsing like a heartbeat in another room.

“Loved you on Untucked, making all them faces. Must’ve been hard listenin’ to me go off in the background, feelin’ so embarrassed.”

“I wasn’t –“

“Gotta build a pillow fort to hide in or some shit.  Real hilarious. Real comedy queen.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Brock interrupts, but now that he thinks about it – he can see how it might have looked that way.  And he knows Jose was feeling sensitive already about that night, can remember the moment afterwards in his hotel room (“I wanna be better than that,” and his hand on Jose’s throat, sparks flying from their lips, his tongue -) 

Stop.

He can’t think about that right now.

“Whatever,” Jose says at last.  He sounds exhausted. “I’m not coming for you. Sorry, I’m working too much, not sleeping. You know how we do. I’m kinda fading out.”

He sighs, and Brock swears he can feel the ghost of that sigh against his neck. It raises goosebumps all up the length of his arms, his shoulder blades.

“Where are you?”

“NYC, baby. Where you at?”

Brock almost doesn’t want to tell him. “Saskatoon, Saskatchewan.”

“The fuck - that ain’t a real place.”

“Swear to God.  It’s in Canada.”

“Ha, now that explains it. Didn’t know you got cell service up there, in your igloos or whatever.”

“You are such a dick.”

“Don’t lie, girl, we know you love -” Jose stops himself. Brock can basically hear the smile sliding off his face. 

He’d forgotten how easy it was, when it was just the two of them.  Forgotten how fast he could fall.

“Anyway, um.” Jose clears his throat.  “I called because of all this online shit – I shoulda said before – it ain’t me. I didn’t want you to think - cuz I’m not postin’ shit right now, and –"

“Wait. What?”

“Yeah, I shoulda told you sooner. My manager’s paying someone for it, some toddler or something, right? I know we’re s’posed to be all nasty for the fans but it just –“

“It’s not me either,” Brock says quickly. “Someone else is writing it.”

There’s a short silence on the other end of the line. Then Jose laughs again, warm and real this time (Brock has to put out a hand to steady himself even though he’s lying down.)

“Girl, what? I didn’t know that! That’s crazy! Meanwhile I’m feeling so – all these queens tonight were reading me for it, and I was like ‘bitch, mind your business!’ This is some kinda twisted.”

Brock laughs too, helplessly. This whole situation is so fucking ridiculous, it’s unbelievable.

He’s riding the high of Jose’s laughter, feeling like he can breathe for the first time in months, and that’s the only reason he says: “It’s good to hear your voice.” 

Jose stops laughing.  

There is silence again, only broken by the bass thumping in the background. Brock thinks about how quickly he could be in New York if he caught a standby flight.  If Jose asked him - 

Say something, Brock. Fuck’s sake, say something.

“Thought you’d’ve heard enough of it by now.” Jose’s gone a bit quiet.  Brock wonders if he has that crease on his forehead that means he’s upset. Wishes he could smooth it away with the pad of his thumb.

“That will never happen.” He can’t imagine a world where that voice doesn’t do something to him, doesn’t wake up some hidden place that hasn’t seen sunshine in years. “Jose -”

The music suddenly gets louder, and there’s another voice in the background. Jose says something that Brock can’t quite hear.  Someone else laughs.

“Shit, girl, I gotta go. You be good now. I’ll -“ Jose cuts himself off abruptly. Brock waits. Waits. The rest of the sentence never comes, but Jose doesn’t hang up. Brock hears him swear under his breath.

It shouldn’t be like this, Brock wants to scream into the phone. You knew me.  You knew me once.  You left glitter on my pillow.

“Can I call you?” he asks instead. “Later. Or whenever. Just to –” He suddenly doesn’t know how to finish that sentence.

“To?”

“Plan,” is the first word that comes into his head. “Plan - for that episode.  Like, how we’re going to react.  What we should say.”

“Oh.” Jose takes a deep breath. “Sure, yeah. I gotta go, Brock. You – call me later.”

“Okay. Um. Try to get some sleep.” 

“Not much chance of that, girl. But what ya gonna do?”

The call ends. Brock closes his eyes.

The sudden silence feels heavy on his chest, like one of those weighted blankets Nina’s always telling him to get.  He puts his phone to the side. With his eyes closed he can still see that back-room in the club, Jose taking off his lashes, rolling his shoulders. Brock can almost feel sore muscles beneath his hands, and his fingers twitch against his sheets.

Oh if you were mine. 

That’s from a song, right? He can’t remember which one, but it runs in his head as he doesn’t sleep, over and over like a pinwheel spinning.

(And Brock doesn’t know it now, can’t feel it, but somewhere in the walls he’s built, a crack is starting to form.  

It spreads through his foundation, shifting it just slightly.  Not enough that anyone would notice.  

Not yet.)

* * *

The night after Farm to Runway, Brooke is wired and awake and trying unsuccessfully to get into a trashy thriller that her mom leant her - when there’s a knock at her door. 

She doesn’t know what to expect  when she opens it. Maybe a P.A. with a note from Vee, maybe a producer about to institute a strict “one-cocktail-per-Untucked” limit. 

She’s not expecting Vanessa herself, wearing shorts and a loose t-shirt, looking more nervous than Brooke’s ever seen her.

“Hey mama. Can I come in?”

“Uh -”

Behind Vanjie, a little baby-lesbian with a badass haircut and Harry Potter glasses gives a short nod.  

“This is Maya, she’s real sweet, she said we got five minutes. Bye Maya!” Vanjie steps through Brooke’s doorway, shutting it behind her.

“Holy shit.” Brooke just stares at her for a moment. “You’re breaking all the rules now, huh.”

“Yeah, just call me muthafucking Willam. This your digs, huh? Shoulda known you’d be crazy tidy. Bitch, you even got shit hanging in the closet? GIRL. You hang up your t-shirts? My Abuela woulda loved you, for real.”

The hyperactive and adorable narration isn’t totally abnormal for Vanjie and yet - something about it strikes Brooke as odd tonight. Uneasy. 

“So - you came here to check out my room?”

“Nah, I just. Thought I’d come see ya. Didn’t get much chance to - to -” Vanjie’s  hands flutter through the air, restlessly. “Wanted to talk in the van but you know, with Big Silky around, there’s not much chance of that.”

“Okay…” Brooke sits down on the edge of her bed. Vanjie can’t seem to stop moving, shifting from one foot to the other. “What did you want to talk about?”

“All that, you know, shit this evening.” The corner of Vanjie’s mouth twitches up. “Thought maybe you’d be feeling some kinda way about it.  About me.”

So that’s what this is. Brooke follows the movement of Vanjie’s hands - pulling at a sleeve, ruffling her hair, twisting together like rope.

“I don’t -”

“Don’t say nothing, lemme finish. I don’t know why it got so real tonight, fucking Yvie coming for me  - but I’m not getting into it again, she has her own shit to deal with and we’re gonna - we’ll be good. But I clocked the way you were looking at me, there was a moment there - and I thought I had to tell you, you know, that I don’t do that shit on the regular. That’s not me.”

“Wait - you don’t have to apologize or -”

“I don’t wanna be that bitch. You know, I’ve been that bitch before, and I wanna be better than that.”

“Vanjie,” Brooke stands back up, stepping across the room and stopping the movements of Vanjie’s hands with her own. 

Vanjie immediately looks up at her, tilting her jaw back like it’s a challenge.  

Her fingers are warm. They slide gently against Brooke’s. 

“I like the way you are,” Brooke says, and Vanjie does that odd, slanted smile that Brooke’s seen so many times in the werkroom, the one that makes something spark and stutter in Brooke’s chest. 

“Who wouldn’t?  I mean -” Vanjie does a little shimmy but doesn’t let go of Brooke’s hands. And self-deprecating is not really something Brooke thought she’d see in this queen, but that’s what this feels like.  Whether the girl is shimmying or not.

“Yes, we all know you’re fucking gorgeous. But I don’t just mean - that.” Brooke’s throat is getting tight, and she flashes back to her conversation with Ru that afternoon (talking about serious things always makes me cry.  It gives me anxiety just thinking about it.) 

Fuck.  Congrats Brooke on being the whitest person in Drag Race herstory.

“I mean.  I like the way you are.” Brooke releases a breath, and if she gets teary-eyed now she’s going to throw herself off the balcony. She removes one hand from Vanjie’s grasp, lifts it to the side of Vanjie’s face. “Like, all of it.”

Something creases between Vanjie’s brows, a tiny flicker of pain that is instantly smoothed over. She doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then she leans her head into Brooke’s palm. 

“Bitch, why your hands so soft?” Vanessa murmurs, and Brooke drags her other hand up over Vanjie’s throat, and wishes that the world outside that closed door could just go away for one night. Just give them one night alone together, give Brooke one night to touch Vanjie every where she wants to, memorize the freckles on her hips and the ticklish places on her knees and suck her off and hold her close and kiss her until she was drunk with it, kiss her until

- you know what, fuck it.

Brooke hauls Vanjie up, off the ground and into her arms. Vanjie laughs low and rough as she wraps her legs around Brooke’s hips, and Brooke walks them backwards until Vanjie is pressed against the hotel room wall and they are kissing, mouths open and hot and wet. 

When their hips grind together, it feels like a gun going off. Brooke’s knees are shaking already.

Vanjie uses her tongue like it’s a weapon, kisses as demanding as her personality, and Brooke’s never felt like this, never. This isn’t a quick peck in the werkroom or backstage lounge, this is finally getting Vanjie where Brooke wants her, finally getting her alone. 

“Will you fuck me?” Vanjie pulls back, eyes dazed and lips swollen.  “I want you to, I been thinking about it -”

“Oh my god,” Brooke whispers, because yes to that, right now that is the only thing she wants in the whole world. 

Vanjie’s hands are on Brooke’s t-shirt, pushing it up as she scrapes her teeth along the edge of Brooke’s jaw.  Brooke frees one of her hands to fist it in Vanjie’s hair, tilting her head back so their mouths meet again.

“You gotta,” Vanjie says, “Please. I can’t stop wanting it.” 

“Okay.” Brooke’s beyond reason at this point, can’t think about anything except the warm body writhing against hers and how to get them both naked as soon as fucking possible.

A knock at the door makes them both freeze. 

Their eyes meet in horror - like they’re teenagers whose parents have come home too early - before the absurdity of the situation hits them both at the same time, and they start giggling like idiots. 

“Start the clock, bitch!” Vanjie yells, and Brooke snorts with laughter, and then they’re kissing again, smiling against each other’s lips. Brooke waits for reality to kick in, hoping it will take its time.

But it doesn’t (the knock at the door comes again, slightly more insistent.)

“Damn it.  Okay. Okay. Just -” Brooke reluctantly lowers Vanjie to the floor, both of them moaning at the delicious slide of contact between their bodies. “I’m not getting us kicked off Drag Race.”

“It’d be worth it, baby,” Vanjie purrs, batting her eyelashes until Brooke has no choice but to lean down and kiss her again, hands winding in her hair, Christ, she tastes like peppermint and cream soda and -

“Wait.  Okay.” Brooke drops her hands, fists clenching. “No, don’t look at me like that. I can’t - “

“Like this?” Vanessa grins all sly and sexy up at her.

“Yes, like -” Brooke has to take a few steps backwards, putting some distance between them while she can. 

“Ugh, you’re a monster, it’s not fair.” Vanjie straightens up her shirt, tries to pat her hair into something less obvious.  “You get to look so fine, and send me packing?” 

“It’ll be worth it,” Brooke says, not certain what she’s talking about.  Worth the wait? Worth the prize? Worth a month in a sparkly warzone shooting glances at each other over sewing machines?  “When I win, I’ll make it up to you.”

“Ha! Fuck that, Mary, you just try it.  You can use some of my money to wipe your tears.”

“Oh my god, you’re such a dick.” Brooke shakes her head, and Vanjie winks.

“Yeah, well, you know you love it.” She crosses to the door. “Night night Brooky Poo.”

Brooke stares after her long after she’s gone, knees still shaking.  

Mouth still sweet as peppermint.

[kaiofmotunui]

Beautiful Little Fools | TIKAI

Who: @tiaisms & @kaiofmotunui

When: Saturday, December 6th

Where: Tiana’s Place

What: At Tia’s Prohibition-Themed 21st birthday, she and Kai confront each other about having been broken up for almost two years, and stakes are high. Spoiler alert: They get back together, but you all knew this because this took place four months ago. 

Kai hadn't stopped thinking about the playlist Tia had given him since he got it. He had to admit, they had very different tastes in music, and it took him a while to really get into Patsy Cline and Kacey Musgraves, but once he started listening to the lyrics, he couldn't help but feel there was a theme. A theme of lost love, of longing, of second chances...And he didn't want to read too far into it, but he knew Tia wasn't one to do anything by accident. So when he received an invitation to her party in the rest of the gifts she'd sent to his cottage for his birthday, Kai figured the least he could do was show up. He was technically "in" the @ pack, and had been since it began, but he wasn't much of a partier and she knew that, so he rarely actually showed. This would be maybe his third time -- and it helped that the theme was something he could get behind. Suspenders stretched taut across his chest, bowtie tied tightly around his neck, trousers fitted...Kai felt like he looked good. Good enough to not leave this place heartbroken? He didn't know. The atmosphere was very reminiscent of the 1920s themed prom where they'd first said their I Love Yous and traded virginities, and that...kind of felt like a sign. He'd even worn the ankle bracelet she'd gotten him two birthdays ago as kind of a good luck charm. But luckily, he gave her the one (1) gift of wearing pants that covered his ankles, tonight, so hopefully no one would notice and call him out on it. Kai scanned the crowd while sipping his 'TiaTini', having not spotted the birthday girl since he arrived. But then, the crowd parted and Tia emerged almost in slow motion. Obviously dressed perfectly to theme, and laughing alongside Izzie and Freddie. Kai had been so taken aback by the vision, he'd stopped mid-sip and almost spilled the pink cocktail onto his shoes. "Shit," he muttered to himself as he dodged the drip and, no doubt, drew attention to himself. He gave Tia, who'd definitely noticed him by now, a small wave as he started to walk over to her.

Tia was almost certain that Kai wasn't going to show up at her party. After Waltfest and New Year's he had absolutely no reason to show up now that a while she'd finally pulled her butt out of her head and actually tried to get him back. Which was fine, she supposed. He tried to fight for her and now it was gonna be her turn to try to fight for him. Probably. But she wasn't going to let that bother her that night, she'd already cast out her first "green light" in the form of her playlist and party invitation, so she just planned to really worry about the rest later. Her birthday was going to be spent being the belle of the ball and having the most fun with the people that actually showed up. So she was fully taken off guard when in the middle of joking with Izzie and Freddie about how Sage wouldn't have to let strange men pet her hair for booze anymore, Kai pulled her attention by nearly making a mess. Instantly forgetting about what she was doing, Tia returned Kai's wave and forced herself to walk and not run up to him. "I can't believe you actually showed up, hi."

Kai shrugged at Tia's words once she met him halfway. "Me? Not show up? Never," he shook his head and tried to remain cool as he sipped his TiaTini this time. "I mean...I know I'm not exactly the member of the @ pack with a perfect attendance record, but...this is your birthday. Twenty-one! So of course I had to come. Happy birthday." Kai shoved a hand into his pocket and nearly ripped out the inner lining as he internally fought with himself on what to say next. "And I had to thank you in person for my awesome birthday presents, too. I've been listening to the playlist on repeat. And, as always, the cupcake was delicious. You always know exactly what to get."

Tia grinned in response to Kai's statement and fiddled with the long string of pearls around her neck as she nervously waited to see if he'd say anything about her not exactly subtle playlist. Getting rejected on her birthday would be a pretty shocking new low after all. "Well I'm glad you could make it! Thank you" Ordinarily Tia would've finished the thanks with a hug, but since Tia didn't really couldn't guess where the conversation would even go, she just stood there only kind of awkwardly. "You're welcome, it was no problem really. You're officially in the double digits club now so I had to make you something cool. And like...from the heart specifically. "

Kai furrowed his brow as he really thought about 'the double digits club'. "I -- " he started to correct, her, but just let himself chuckle it off. "Thanks. It's so weird to think that I'm twenty now. And you're twenty-one. It feels like just yesterday we were baking in the home ec. room." He rolled his eyes but smiled with fondness all the same at the memory. "But you mean that? The playlist was from the heart?" He tried to make it sound like not a huge deal, but he was trying to gauge if the non-subtlety of it all was....intentional. Or just another 'Tia putting children's music on a sex playlist' thing. "Cause I really took it to heart. Just...thought you should know....that." He shrugged, living in the vagueness of it all just a little too much, he was sure. But after so many past rejections, he couldn't bring himself to be more blunt.

Tia joined the chat 15 hours ago

Tia let out a soft laugh at the memory of Home Ec and how wild it was that time was passing so quickly. "I know right? We're so old now! And of course I mean that. My whole entire heart is still in love with you and misses you and that's what most of the songs were about." Tia admitted, grimacing slightly as she fought all her instincts to beat around the bush, Kai had been the clearest ever with her when he tried to get her back, so she absolutely owed him the same.

Kai cocked a brow. Well, that came out easier than he'd expected...and it didn't hit his ear the way he'd expected, either. He came not exactly on the mission of winning Tia back, but with the idea in the back of his head...why didn't it feel as good as he'd hoped? Maybe because he was still jaded from the last two times that he'd tried to make this happen, maybe because now he knew that this was how she'd felt all along, and yet she still let him go through those rejections. Made him go through those rejections. But now that she was ready, he was supposed to leave all that behind? Which he was fully prepared to do, but he wasn't going to make it as easy as....configuring a playlist. "Wow. That's....interesting," he shrugged. "You had a change of mind almost a year later?" Kai sipped his TiaTini in a very KermitMeme.jpeg way.

Tia 's eyebrows practically shot up to her little bejeweled 20s headband at Kai's reaction to her admission. Even though it was extremely off the cuff and unplanned, she had expected a much more enthusiastic reaction than what she'd gotten. "Well not exactly..." She muttered, instantly less brave than she was only seconds before. "I've always loved you...but like..stuff happened and I..I don't know. Ugh." Really not used to much resistance where getting Kai was concerned, Tia grew visibly frustrated as she tried and failed to figure out how to explain herself.

Kai felt his brow soften as she stammered through an explanation. "Yeah....I don't know either," he shrugged, suddenly feeling more sullen than spiteful. It was always that creeping insecurity of the two of them being fools about a relationship that would never work out in the long run that came creeping up into his brain at the most inopportune moments. "I know where I am emotionally right now, and I know that I'd rather dump this drink on my head than ever hurt you again, but now I've been hurt too. And we like to think we're so much older and mature but like....are we?" He smirked bitterly at not only the situation, but himself. How could he have gotten his hopes up over something that he knew deep down always ended in one of them in pain? "I...I'm gonna have to think about it." But he knew himself -- he knew that he'd think for two seconds, remember there were new boobs involved that he hadn't touched yet, and dive headfirst back into this tornado of a relationship. Still, Kai tried to at least pretend like he was going to mull things over as he turned around to walk away from her, but as he turned a passerby knocked the martini glass out of his hand and onto the ground. "Shit," Kai muttered as he knelt to retrieve it.

Tia bit down hard on her lower lip and tried her best to not tear up or just run away as Kai spoke. She genuinely believed that after really trying her best to be a new chiller person and after seeing him actually stay in one place for like over two years, they really did have a chance to not hurt each other this time, but she didn't really have the words or the courage to actually get that out. So when Kai turned to walk away, she made no moves to stop him. The current state of her eyeliner was much more important to her than something she'd planned on fixing later ANYWAY. She was basically running on some weird kind of autopilot as she bent down to grab the dropped martini glass and only really snapped out of it as the gleam of something gold on Kai's surprisingly mostly covered ankle. Tia forgot all about what she'd been reaching for and instead yanked Kai's pant leg as high as she could get it with them both down on the ground. "What the heck! Is this some kind of joke is this supposed to be?"

Kai tried to tear his pant leg from Tia's grip, not entirely sure why she was holding onto it and nearly making him fall over in the process -- that was, until she lifted it over his ankle bracelet. Oh. Double shit. He quickly stood up and covered up the shame on his ankle. "No one's joking! I wore it...because it's your birthday," he lied. "And I still have it. So I figured it was appropriate to wear to your special Tia-themed shindig with your....Tiana's Place and your TiaTinis and whatever else." He rambled on defensively -- She couldn't know that he had come here fully prepared to admit he was still madly in love with her, just like he'd done. Especially since he put on this whole 'I'll have to think about it' show. "I'm not -- I wasn't...I wasn't hoping for this to happen, if that's what you're implying."

Tia shot up from the ground just seconds after Kai did, crossed her arms against her chest and glared at him as he listened to his explanation. "That's stupid. First of all, my birthday party isn't Tia themed. It's the 20s. I'm pretty sure they didn't have customized ankle bracelets back then. Secondly, I'm not implying anything. Mostly because I'm not super sure I know what that means but also I'm not! You got my playlist and knew how I felt about you for FIVE WHOLE DAYS NOW and even though you apparently don't want me back anymore you wore that anklet here anyway. What is wrong with you!?" She was just barely not screaming at the top of her lungs at this point, since they for sure had to be causing at least a little bit of a scene but she wasn't entirely sure she cared or not. Tia uncrossed her arms and angrily held out one hand to Kai, palm up. "Give me the ankle bracelet back, you apparently have some thinking to do and I'd hate for this to confuse you as much as it's confusing me right now." 

Kai scoffed at her dissecting his perfectly-crafted response, and was about to rebut when she demanded to know what was wrong with him, but was taken off guard when she then demanded he give the ankle bracelet back. "What?! I'm not -- !!!" he started, then realized he sounded a little too passionate and attached to this ankle bracelet. Kai cleared his throat and started the sentence over. "I'm not giving it back, that's crazy. It was a gift. And you can't just make a playlist like that and profess your love for me, when a year ago I tried. Twice! And you broke my heart both times!" He was breaking down now, finally letting his calm and cool facade melt away into the pure sap he felt like every time he was near her. "We started this year off kissing each other, and you left me in a crowd of people like nothing even happened. The worst part about all of this is that I'm not confused! After all that, I still want to be with you more than anything!" It felt like it all came out at once, and Kai's heart pounded behind his ribcage. Emotional vulnerability fucking sucked. "So yeah. That's why I wore this thing, because it's kind of the only hope I have that we can make it. And I'm not giving it back."

Tia 's face flushed a deep shade of angry red as she really considered getting down on her hands and knees to rip the bracelet off his ankle with her bare hands. But that was probably a little too crazy for right then. So instead she buried the idea and kept her hand out for the bracelet as he spoke...but the more he spoke, the thought did creep up again. Especially when he insisted that she'd left him in that crowd like nothing happened. At which point, she finally had to put her hand down and instead began clenching both hands into tight little fists at her sides, ignoring the bite of the nails and rhinestones as they dug into her skin. "Then what did you even need to think about. How to make me feel as bad as you did both of those times when I broke your heart? Newsflash, Aukai, i was fully shattering my own heart at the exact same time. I can't even start to go into how horrible I've felt for a whole actual year straight, but All you're doing right now is making everything take way longer than it needs to just because I'm the stupidest girl alive, and that's even worse."

Kai raised his brows. He didn’t know she felt bad for what she did — from where he stood, she’d rejected him and then went off with two different yet strikingly similar tall and hairy guys. “Well I think the difference here is that...I didn’t know that. You never let me in on the fact that you felt bad — All I saw was you leaving me to go be with Huntley or get stood up on dates by Leo Fitzherbert.” He rolled his eyes at the mere mention of both of those assholes, both of whom had now rejected her in the exact same ways. “I don’t blame you for saying no....both times. I guess,” he shook is head with a sigh. “I’m the stupid one. I’ve fucked up your trust too many times. I can’t blame you.” He toyed with the martini glass in his hand as he struggled to meet Tia’s gaze. “So I don’t have to think anymore. Now what?”

Tia rolled her eyes when Kai said he hadn't known how she felt. Like she didn't struggle with telling him how they felt when they were together and happy. "Like you've never heard of a stupid rebound." She muttered, not at all interested in even hearing the names of those other guys. Still, she ended up letting her clenched fists slacken as Kai talked. Part of the magic of their relationship was that as quickly as he could rile her up, he could usually bring her right back down into being putty in his hands. "Language. But...I don't know, if you don't have to think anymore, what'd you decide?" Tia was pretty sure she knew what he was going to say, but she still couldn't help nervously looking down at the floor before glancing up at him through her lashes

Kai sighed. He'd put the ball in her court, and she tossed it right back into his. Kai shook his head, allowing the feelings he felt coming into the night come back to him. The hopefulness, the butterflies, the need to kiss her. "I decided that I'm not going anywhere." He shrugged, knowing that what he said might sound simple to anyone else, but between them, it meant everything. "And if you'll have me, I'd be so down to give us another try. Hopefully the final try this time." Kai stepped closer to Tia, and oh-so delicately took one of her hands in his, rubbing his thumb across the back.

And then they kissed and lived happily ever after or something, idk because Dany never replied. 

[chasholidays]

Good job on not killing yourself with prompts this year, Chash. We appreciate your continued existence! I would like a modern AU where Bellamy bonds with Clarke’s foster daughter Madi by playing video games with her. Bellamy and Clarke have been friends for a long time but recently started dating, and everything’s gonna work out just fine but you know, they’re nervous.

Overall, Bellamy thinks the timing on two of the best developments of his life could have gone better.

The first best development is that he and Clarke are finally both single at the same time and manage to have a conversation about feelings that ends in the two of them agreeing to give the dating thing a try, which is honestly a miracle in and of itself. They’re going slow, trying not to screw anything up, and it’s going really well when the next best development hits, which is Madi.

Clarke had been on the wait-list for a foster kid for a while, and their entire friend group had been anxious for the assignment to finally come through. Most of them are only children who long to be cool aunts or uncles, so Clarke getting a kid is basically the perfect scenario for them. Bellamy had been excited too, of course, despite having an actual sister who had an actual child, but the combination of “new relationship” and “new child” makes things awkward.

“I just don’t really know how to introduce her to you,” Clarke says. “Like–I don’t know, it feels more serious than her meeting Raven or Wells. And I don’t want her to get invested in us as a couple or us as her parents if it’s not going to last.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” He kisses her hair, settles in a little closer. They spent the whole day setting up the apartment for Madi, cleaning and moving furniture, and he’s sad he won’t be around to help her settle in, but he can’t actually object. “My mom introduced me to a lot of boyfriends, she might have a history with that too. We should take it slow.”

“We were already taking it slow,” she says, sounding mostly amused. “You know I’m really excited about dating you, right? It’s not–”

He laughs. “I know, don’t worry. If you wanted to break up with me, you’d break up with me.”

“I would. I just wish we had a little more time to settle into this before Madi came along.”

“When it rains it pours. I don’t mind taking a back seat for a while.”

“I don’t think it’s going to be long. She’s ten, I’m hoping that’s old enough where we can have a decent discussion about who you are and how you fit in. And even if we break up, I assume you’re still going to be a part of her life.”

“Of course,” he says. Half the point of being as careful as they’re being with the progression of their relationship as they are is to try to make sure the friendship survives. There’s no guarantee, but–he can’t imagine his life without Clarke in it. They’ll make it work. “If I’m not the cool father figure, I want to at least be a cool uncle.”

“You’re not that cool,” she teases, all warmth. “Sorry. You’re going to have to settle for dorky guy who talks too much about Latin and history.”

“I can definitely get a better vibe than that going,” he says, and she just smiles and kisses him and clearly does not believe him at all.

Which he can’t blame her for, really. Her knowledge of him as a parental figure comes from Octavia, whom he did name after a historical figure from Rome. There’s precedent at work, but he doesn’t have to be like that. He could, in theory, come up with a different gimmick, some other way to relate to Madi. It doesn’t have to be all fun facts about word origins and Roman emperors.

The nice thing about being the last one to meet Madi is that he gets to hear about her from everyone else first, like he’s prepping for a very weird kind of test.

“She’s cute,” Murphy says, with a shrug. “I don’t know, she’s a kid, what do you want from me? Clarke says I can’t tell her to start fires, which seems like a weirdly specific thing to worry about, so maybe she has a history.”

“She thinks you have a history of being a dumbass,” says Raven, which seems like the right reading of that interaction. “Madi’s cool. Smart, and she wants me to teach her about computers and stuff, so I like her.”

“Nate and I just brought Smash Brothers over, she liked that but she was getting frustrated.”

Bellamy perks up, turns his attention to Monty. “Yeah? That sounds promising.”

“You want to beat a kid at video games to make her like you?” Murphy asks. “You’d be better off telling her to start fires.”

“I’m not going to tell her to start fires. Or beat her at video games.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure Bellamy can beat an incompetent fifth grader at Smash Brothers,” Miller says. “Fighting games aren’t exactly his forte.”

“So that means Madi and I can work on it together,” he says. “I’ve already got a Switch, I can pick up Smash Brothers, Mario Kart–we can do video games together. That can be our thing. You guys are too good at it.”

“If you play video games, what are we supposed to do with her?” Miller grumbles. “Then we don’t have a thing.”

“Yeah, but Bellamy needs a thing way more than we do. We can just buy her stuff.”

“And once she’s good at video games, she can start playing with you guys. She practices on me until she’s ready to get her revenge.”

“Wouldn’t that work better if you were good at video games?” Raven asks. “So you could teach her?”

“Or she’ll be happy that we’re both shitty. And I’m good at some video games.” He finishes his drink. “This could work. Once I actually meet her.”

“You’re going to be fine,” Monty says. “She’s a good kid!”

“And everyone knows you and Clarke are you and Clarke,” says Raven.

“Nice–” He makes a face. “I was going to say tautology, but that’s not even a tautology, it’s just the exact same thing.”

She rolls her eyes at him. “Just saying, I get why you guys are taking it slow with everything, especially with Madi, but you’re going to be fine.”

As one of the involved parties, he can’t have quite the faith in himself and Clarke that Raven does–he doesn’t want to get cocky and fuck it up–but he does think it’s largely true. His awkwardness around Madi is a consequence of timing, and in a year or two, he’s pretty sure they’re just going to be a functional family unit.

Which doesn’t mean he can’t screw it up in the meantime, so he’s still going to be careful.

Clarke’s had Madi for a month and a half when she says, “Should we start off with family dinner?”

“How did you start with everyone else?”

“Not with family dinner,” she admits. “They just came over to meet her. But she knows you’re different.”

“Maybe I could cook for you guys,” he muses. “Dinner and a movie, but at your place.”

She laughs. “It’s a little creepy that you’re adapting date ideas into stuff to do with Madi.”

“I’m good at cooking, it makes people like me. If she’s eating your food–”

“I’m doing fine!” Clarke protests. “But yeah, that would probably be good. Cook something kid-friendly, hang out. No sleepover.”

“I know.”

“Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I know it’s complicated right now. I wish we could spend more time together, but I get it. And it’s not going to be like this forever.”

“No.” She leans in and kisses him, soft and sweet. “Okay, I have to go get her. Saturday, maybe? Come over in the afternoon?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Figure out what Madi wants to eat and text me. I’ll go to the store and pick stuff up. Is there a dessert I can bribe her with?”

“You don’t need to bribe her, she’s going to love you.” She pauses. “But it couldn’t hurt. I’ll see what she wants.”

“You’re the best. Let me know when you get home?”

“Will do.”

He doesn’t spend the next few days stressing about things, but he does spend the next few days planning. He buys Smash Brothers and plays it just long enough to confirm he’s bad at it, buys a bunch of cupcake toppings and experiments with frosting to make sure he’ll be good at it as a group activity, and then he calls his sister so she can tell him he’s trying too hard.

“Definitely. This isn’t an audition, Bell. And it’s not your only chance. If you come on too strong, you’ll probably just freak her out.”

“Yeah, I know.���

She hums, thoughtful. “My advice? Skip the cupcakes this time. Do a baking thing, like, next week. You’ve already got a ton of activities for this one, don’t overload her.”

“When did you get so good at this?”

“Ash’s second birthday,” she says, prompt. “I got over-competitive with some asshole mom from Mommy and Me because I wanted to throw the best party ever and I planned, like, fifteen more things than those kids could ever do. Or wanted to do. They burned out so hard. And it’s not like you want to set expectations that high. You want to just be a normal part of her life, right? Not the magical guy who shows up once a week with a Mary Poppins bag full of shit.”

“That’s true, I should keep her expectations low.”

“Just stop stressing, okay? Clarke loves you, her kid will put up with you no matter what, it’s going to be fine.”

“I want it to be good.”

“It’ll probably be good too. Seriously, just give it time.”

“This is still the most mature advice you’ve ever given me.”

“I’m actually a pretty kickass mom. And you were a pretty good big brother with too much responsibility, and Clarke’s going to be a good foster parent. Just let it happen.”

So Bellamy leaves his cupcake-decorating kit at home, goes to the store to pick up a pretty normal–albeit Madi-approved–dinner, and brings that and his switch over to Clarke’s house on Saturday afternoon around three.

Clarke answers the door, leaning up to give him a kiss. “Hi. You look normal.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“I meant you’re not obviously dying of stress.”

“Should I be?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay, so–what does she know?”

“You’re my boyfriend, but we were friends for a long time before we started dating. It’s new but pretty serious, but I don’t want her to feel pressured to take on too much family all at once. You’re a dork who tries to hard, but it’s because you care.”

“That all sounds about right. I brought video games for us to play.”

“Am I included in that us?”

“It’s on Switch, so you can be if you want to be, yeah. Depends on how much of a family activity you’re looking for.”

“I’ll supervise for now.” She kisses him again. “She’s going to love you, don’t worry.”

Madi is in the living room already, her attention fixed on a book in a way that makes Bellamy think she’s not actually reading so much as avoiding looking at anything else. Not that he blames her, really; if he was Madi, he’d be trying and failing to play it cool too. That’s the ten-year-old experience in a nutshell.

“Madi, this is my boyfriend, Bellamy.”

“Hey,” says Bellamy, offering her a smile. She puts her book aside and stands, offering her hand, formal and a little stiff. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“You too.”

“What are you reading?”

“Oh, it’s just for school.”

“Bellamy teaches high-school history,” Clarke says. “So he always likes hearing about school stuff.”

“And pretty much all books. Do you like it?”

“Yeah, it’s actually pretty good. Especially for a school book.”

“Cool. Well, if you want to keep reading, don’t let me stop you. I can read too, I’ve got stuff on my phone.”

“What did you want to do?” she asks, sounding a little wary.

“You met Nate and Monty, right? And played some video games?” She nods. “They beat me every time we play, so I’m trying to get better. Seriously,” he adds, before she can say anything. “I like role-playing games and stuff, I’m good at those, but I never got the hang of fighting games. I just button-mash. So if you want to practice on someone on your level, that would be fun.”

“He really does suck,” Clarke puts in. “Even I beat him sometimes.”

“And I really don’t get Smash Brothers.”

Madi’s still frowning. “So, you want to learn how to be better at video games with me?”

He shrugs. “And get to know you, but–video games would be a fun way to do that, right?”

“Depends on how fun it is to play video games with you,” she says, and that makes him smile.

“Yeah, fair enough. You want to find out?”

They start with Smash Brothers, which is a franchise he only vaguely understands. It’s fun enough and he’s played various versions with Miller over the years he’s known him, but he also knows there’s a lot of history he doesn’t get.

“I don’t even recognize half the characters,” he admits to Madi. “Like, Marth. Where did Marth come from? What is it?”

“Fire Emblem,” says Madi, to his surprise.

“What’s Fire Emblem?”

“It’s a tactical RPG series.” She worries her lip. “I really like video games? So I watch videos on YouTube and stuff, Let’s Plays or whatever? But I’ve never had a game system of my own to play on, and it turns out I suck.”

“You don’t suck,” says Clarke, sitting down on Madi’s other side. “Miller and Monty are sharks. I think they have fans online who watch them play. Just because you didn’t win playing against them your first time playing doesn’t mean anything.”

“We can definitely get better,” Bellamy says. “Especially you. But is this what you want to get better at?”

Madi shoots him a look. If nothing else, she seems fairly comfortable talking to him. That’s not nothing. “What do you mean?”

“Are there games you want to play more than Smash Brothers? Would you rather be doing Fire Emblem?”

“Smash Brothers is fine.”

“I’ve got other stuff. Breath of the Wild is pretty cool. I’m worse at Mario Kart than I am at Smash Brothers but it’s fun to play with Clarke, she’s so bad.”

“Shut up,” says Clarke, without heat.

“Breath of the Wild looked cool, but I like Smash too. I want to unlock more characters.”

He lets it go at that, and they spend an enjoyable afternoon playing together. Clarke gets in on it sometimes, but she also wanders off to do other things, leaving the two of them alone to get to know each other. Bellamy already knows the bones of Madi’s life from Clarke–parents died when she was young, sent to her grandmother and then into foster care when her grandmother couldn’t take care of her anymore–but it’s different hearing it from her, and sharing his own past with her in return.

It feels like it’s going well.

Over dinner, he asks, “So, what are your favorite games that you watch online? Or as Let’s Plays?”

She mulls it over. “I like watching people play Overwatch, but I don’t think I want to play it? Skyrim’s cool, and Fallout. I don’t know if I have a favorite.”

“Any you wish you could play? Or the ones you wish you could play most.”

Another pause. “Kingdom Hearts,” she decides.

“Is that the Disney one?” he asks.

Clarke holds up her hand. “The what?”

“It’s the Disney one, yeah. Square Enix,” she says, turning her attention to Clarke. “That’s a big gaming company. They decided to make a game with Disney, and it’s really fun. They have new characters too but they’re going between different Disney worlds. So you get to play in a bunch of movies.

"Have you played that one?” Clarke asks him.

“No, but I’ve heard of it. It’s on Playstation, right?”

“Yeah, and it’s kind of like Smash Brothers too because it’s got characters from other games too. The third game in the main series is supposed to be coming out soon after, like–a really long time. I think the second one came out before I was born? But there are a lot of spin-offs too, so it’s not like there’s been nothing.”

“I’ve got a PS4 too,” Bellamy muses. “I could probably get Kingdom Hearts, right?”

“You don’t have to,” Madi says quickly. “I didn’t mean–”

“I’ll see how much it is. It sounds fun, and I’ve always been kind of curious about it. You could play and I could watch and try to help you figure out what to do.”

He can see her struggling with what to say, the urge to minimize her own wants at war with how much she does want it. Bellamy’s not rich or anything, but he’s more than financially stable enough to buy a video game, especially one his girlfriend’s foster kid will like. He’s impulse-bought games for way worse reasons.

“If you want to,” she finally says, and he smiles.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Clarke washes the dishes while he and Madi play a couple more rounds of Smash, and then they watch a movie. Madi makes it to the end, but just barely, and Clarke sends her to bed after that.

“It went okay, right?” he murmurs into her hair. He’ll have to go home sooner or later, but he’s opting for as much later as he can manage. “I didn’t push too hard or anything.”

“I don’t think so. Are you getting the game?”

“Yeah. I might ask Monty and Miller if they have any old game systems she can have too. If you’re good with that.”

“Yeah, that would be great. I wish I’d thought of it.”

“Did she know she liked games so much before?”

She shakes her head, smiling a little. “No, that was new. She must really like you,” she teases.

He kisses her hair, settles in closer. “I hope so.”

He spends the next morning lost in the incredibly confusing tangle of Kingdom Hearts wikipedia pages and comes to the conclusion that if he can get Madi a PS3, she should at least be able to experience Kingdom Hearts I and II, if not all of the confusingly named and numbered side games.

“Probably,” says Miller. “Honestly, Kingdom Hearts is so weird, I assume there’s a spin-off you can only play on the back of Japanese cereal boxes.”

Based on his morning reading, Bellamy would believe that. “So do you have an old PS3 you’re not using?”

“You know can get them on PS4 too,” he points out. “You don’t need to get an older system to experience them as they were meant to be experienced.”

“Not for me, for Madi. Apparently that’s the number-one game she wants to play, and if I go out and buy her a PS4, that’s definitely trying too hard.”

“Yeah, definitely. Does it have to be a PS3?”

“Not if you have something else that can play it instead, I guess. Don’t tell me you guys have an extra PS4.”

“No,but I think we have some old PS2s. I think Monty might even have Kingdom Hearts around. We can take a look, make sure everything’s working, but as long as it is, Madi’s welcome to it.” He pauses. “Do you get credit for being the cool boyfriend if we’re the ones doing all the work?”

“I’m coordinating,” he says. “And I’m going to help her.”

“With what? You’ve never played Kingdom Hearts.”

“It’s an RPG, I’m good at RPGs.” He pauses. “And I was going to buy it and play it on my own so if she has questions I can answer them.”

Miller eyes him. “You probably don’t need to work this hard, you know? She’s a good kid, you’re a good guy, you’re going to be fine.”

“I know.” He shrugs. “I’m not an expert or anything, but I remember after my mom died, I always felt like an after-thought to people. Especially adults. So I want Madi to feel like she’s our top priority. Put in the effort for her. In a non-creepy, not trying too hard way,” he adds. “So asking my friend if he’s got an old game system she can use seems fine.”

“Yeah, that’s pretty normal. Downloading the game so you can be her guru is–” He pauses. “Actually, yeah, that’s cute. You’re going to be a great dad. Or whatever else you and Clarke end up calling it.”

“That’s the plan,” he says. “Thanks for helping out.”

He shrugs. “What can I say? You need to work a lot harder to be cool than I do.”

According to Monty, the Playstation 2 is fully functional and the Kingdom Hearts games work as well on it as they ever have. Then he gives Bellamy a long list of tips and a rant about the game’s lore, so he definitely has a resource of his own to go to if he can’t figure it out without Madi.

But Clarke doesn’t see it that way. “I really don’t think you should play on your own.”

“No?”

“I get the impulse, and it’s cute, but the internet exists and is right there. If she can’t figure something out, you guys can work on it together and google it if you have to. But if you’re playing on your own, there’s no reason for you to play with her, right? If you’ve never played, you’re discovering it together.”

He smiles. “That does sound good. Do you think I’m working too hard at this?”

“No. I think you care about it, so you want to do it right. That’s good.”

“Here’s hoping Madi thinks so too.”

“I think she will, yeah. She’s still kind of–it’s a lot for her, I think? Having so many people who are working really hard to make her like them. She’s not used to people caring about her opinion so much.”

“Local thirty-somethings very invested in ten-year-old’s opinion,” he says, making her laugh.

“Pretty much. But we had a talk about how long I’ve been waiting for a foster kid and how much I want one, and how supportive all you guys are, and I think she gets that she’s a big deal for us. Even if that’s weird.”

“Does she know I want to be a part of the family some day?” he asks, which is, admittedly, something of a roundabout way of asking if Clarke gets that, too. In case he hasn’t made it clear enough.

“Honestly, I think she doesn’t get why you’re not a part of the family already. I said you’d probably be coming by once a week and she was like, that doesn’t seem like a lot.”

“It really doesn’t.”

Clarke bites the corner of her mouth. “What happened to slow and careful?”

“Maybe we can focus on careful, but not slow. If I want to play Kingdom Hearts with her, it would kind of suck if I was just around once a week, right?”

“It would.” She leans up to kiss him. “I could see you more.”

“Yeah, I thought maybe you could.”

While Clarke goes to pick Madi up from her social worker’s appointment, Bellamy gets the old Playstation set up and makes sure the game is working as promised, fools around with it just long enough to make sure everything’s in working order before making himself stop and focus on anything else.

It’s a nice surprise and she’s going to like it. He did good here.

“Hey, Bellamy,” she says, when she gets in. It’s their fourth time meeting, and he’s looking forward to the day when that’s something he stops being able to count on one hand. “Are you not coming on Saturday anymore?”

“Clarke and I thought I could start coming more than once a week,” he says. “If you’re good with that. Plus, I’ve got something for you.”

She looks surprised, but pleased. “What?”

“I told you Monty and Miller have a ton of games, right? I thought they might have some old ones they didn’t want, too. And when I asked about Kingdom Hearts, they said they had a Playstation 2 and an old copy of the game you can have. So–” He falters, voice melting away and leaving only what feels like a very sheepish smile. “It sounded pretty fun when you talked about it, so I thought maybe you could show me.”

Her own smile blossoms like springtime, warm and bright. “Really?”

“Yeah. I got it hooked up and checked to make sure it worked, so you should be all set.”

“Thank you,” she says, voice soft and genuine. “This is–I’m really excited.”

“Me too,” he says. “Let’s boot it up.”

She finishes the first game and is a week into the second when she says, “You have a PS4, right?”

“At home, gathering dust, yeah. I figured I’d bring it over soon. Why?”

“Because once I’m done with this one, I’m going to want to play Kingdom Hearts III, and that’s on PS4. So it would be a lot easier if you were just already here already. You and the PS4. Like–all the time.”

“Are you asking me to move in for Clarke?” he asks, unable to keep a grin off his face.

“Well, she’s not doing it, so someone has to.”

“I guess when you put it like that,” he says. “And I wouldn’t want to miss out on Kingdom Hearts III.”

She settles against his side, smiling like she won some great victory instead of asking him to do exactly what he’s been wanting to do basically since the second he and Clarke started dating. “I thought not. It’s going to be really fun.”

“Yeah,” he says. “I bet it is.”

[cherryyharryy]

Chapter 4: Vertebra   

 It drives you crazy, getting old

The sky was a beautiful shade of blue without a cloud in sight. The grass was freshly cut and the flowers were starting to bloom, decorating the walkways of each house Harry and Adeline passed by.

The windows were down and the sun was generous, grazing their faces with the perfect amount of warmth, not too hot, just enough to warrant the air conditioner and for Harry to ditch the jacket he’d brought.

He pushed the sunglasses further up his nose which had gained a few extra freckles, as did his slightly burnt cheeks and the tops of his shoulders, which had grown considerably since he finally put his New Year’s resolution into play and had been spending three mornings a week at the gym.

“It’s this left, up here.” Adeline slipped her hand into his over the console, flicking her eyes to his ridiculous jaw busy with a piece of gum.

“Stop starin’, love, you’ll make me blush.”

“Wasn’t staring.” She swatted his arm, and she definitely did not admire the way his smirk carved out his dimple or the way a vein in his neck swelled. “Couldn’t tell if you were blushing or not anyway. That’s a nasty burn.”

“Doesn’t hurt.” His hand left hers to tap at his rosy cheeks. “It’ll be gone soon. I’ll be a bronze god before summer even gets here.”

“Well before you golden up you need to slap some spf on that, especially since you’re gonna be in the sun all day, don’t wanna make it worse.”

“It’ll be fine, Addy. S’just a little burn.”

“Alright,” she mused. “It’s that house, the brick one with the oak tree in the yard.”

“You mean the one with a million balloons on the mailbox and a hundred cars parked out front?”

“Oh shut up.”

“Well I wouldn’t wanna miss it, now would I?”

“Just park the car, smart mouth. And help me get the present out of the trunk.”

***

Chatter and children laughing, the crackle of ice being stirred in a pitcher of lemonade and the high pitched barks of Daisy, the chihuahua, running around greeted Adeline and Harry when they stepped through the door. The house was full of family that she hadn’t seen since the holidays and plenty of people she’s never seen before.

“Which one’s your cousin?” Harry asked.

“Uuum, Grace is over there.” Adeline nodded towards a little girl in a soft purple dress. “Guess we should say happy birthday, huh?”

She adjusted the present in her arms, and only managed one step before Harry was yanking her back by the shoulder as a handful of kids ran by.

“If we can make it to the backyard before this tea set gets destroyed it’ll be a miracle,” he chuckled.

“Adeline!”

Adeline shoved the gift into Harry’s arms and ran to her sister, throwing her arms around her look-alike with a squeal. They latched onto each other like glue, only pulling apart when Brianne started to speak.

“Mom and dad driving you crazy?”

“They’re working on it,” Adeline chuckled. “And doing a fine job.”

“Well graduation’s around the corner. You’ll be free as a bird before you know it.”

Adeline looked over her shoulder, lips parting to call out Harry’s name but her voice was lost as soon as her sister pulled her back, resembling their mother more than ever with her brows scrunched in concern and her lips tight in a line.

“So what schools did you get into?” Brianne asked, holding her sister at arm’s length. “And you’re doing a double major, right? Oh, and you looked into internships I’m sure, before you picked a school?”

“Uuuh, well I applied to one and got in, so, that’s that.”

Brianne’s face twisted into a grimace, a disbelieving laugh matching her tone. “What do you mean, one? Addy...you need to make sure the school is a right fit for you and what you want to pursue.”

“I got a couple small scholarships. And my SAT score was good enough, sooo yeah, perfect fit. Plus it’s way too far to commute so I’m moving out in July.”

Brianne shook her head, but before she could continue Adeline beat her to the punch, pulling Harry over by his arm who’d been standing off to the side.

“This is Harry, I told you about him when you visited last month.”

“Hello, Harry, it’s nice to finally meet you.”

Harry nodded, shifting the present in his arms. “Nice to meet you too.”

“So, Addy,” Brianne continued, “What program—”

“Lemme help Harry with this, it’s heavy.” Adeline yanked the gift from his grasp and marched towards the back yard, leaving her sister mid-sentence with Harry following right behind her.

“God this was a mistake,” she groaned, setting their present down by the pile of other wrapped boxes and gift bags. “I should’ve lied and said I had, volunteer work or something.”

“You’ve never volunteered.”

“Well I should’ve started. Like today.”

Harry pulled her into his side and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Just ‘cause you don’t have your whole life planned out like she did doesn’t mean anything.”

“It’s not even—she just, did...everything,” Adeline complained, throwing her arms up and letting them fall against her with a slap. “Dual enrollment, paid internship, graduated early, got engaged, got promoted. S’fucking annoying.”

“Heeey, watch it there’s kids here.”

“Don’t remind me. Just how I wanna spend my Saturday, standing out in the heat for a seven year old’s birthday party.”

“We’ll have fun. There’s cake.”

Adeline sighed and shook her head, looking up at Harry with her hand cupped over her eyes to shield the sun from her view.

“You need sunscreen.”

***

Harry was eating his words. Neither of them had any fun whatsoever in the two hours they’d been at this party. The only attention they were getting were demands of their future plans, spitting out answers to the same questions over and over again.

“What schools are you going to?

“Are you gonna study abroad?”

“You’re not just getting an undergraduate’s degree are you?”

They were currently camped out on the swing set, doing their best to hide without being obvious, each with a juice box and sour attitude, watching the twenty or so kids chase each other around the yard.

“She didn’t like it.” Harry sucked the last drop of his juice and flattened the box with his grip. “I mean she actually said she didn’t like it. Who does that?”

“‘Least she was honest.”

“Who cares about honesty? D’you see the look on her face? Might as well of given her a bag of rocks as a present, would’ve gotten the same reaction.”

Adeline shrugged her shoulders. She kept her head down, engrossed with the grass she was pushing up with the toe of her shoes. “Her parents got her a phone. Can’t compete with that.”

“And that’s another thing—who the hell gives a seven year old a phone?”

Adeline sighed and reached over to tug on his sleeve, gaining his attention away from the crumpled box in his hands.

“In other news, I’ve had about fifteen people grill me about school.”

“Yeah I know. Apparently journalism isn’t a ‘wise career choice’,” he mocked. “If one more person tells me to major in advertising I’m gonna explode.”

“Did you tell them how successful your mom is?”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” he grumbled. “And the fact that my mom created her very own local magazine means jack shit to these people. Or that it’s what I want to do.” He thrust his finger against his chest.

She hummed in response, kicking up a patch of dirt she’d been working on with a dandelion now uprooted. “Well I had my aunt very generously berate me on us wanting to go to the same school together.” Adeline straightened up and turned towards Harry, lifting her nose in the air as her voice came out in a whine to imitate her aunt. “Addy, dear, you don’t need to be concerned with that boy. It’s better if he goes to a different school so you won’t have to see him after you break up.”

“Oh so now we’re breaking up?”

“Yep. And I should pick a major right now. Like right. fucking. now,” she grit.”

Harry looked over with an amused smile on his face, reaching over to link his hand with hers. “You okay there?”

Her eyes were big, and he knew what was coming before she even opened her mouth. “What if you don’t get into Peru? You’ve already been waitlisted on all the surrounding schools. The only other one left is basically on the other side of the state.”

He swallowed with a nod, no sense in trying to argue with her reason when he knew she was right. “If I only get into Chadron...then I only get into Chadron. If we wanna make it work then we will.”

“I want to.”

“I do too, love.” His thumb skimmed over her knuckles and he gave her hand a squeeze, forcing his own worries about being so far apart out of his mind. “Right now I’m just hoping I get into college. Those rejection letters suck.”

“You will,” she assured. “And—”

“Addy! Harry! We’re cutting the cake!”

They both groaned in unison, prying themselves off the swings and stretching their stiff muscles.

Adeline smoothed over the landscaping she’d done with her shoe, pausing to pick up the little weed to present it to Harry.

“S’kinda like a sunflower.”

He hesitantly took it, brows raising up in disdain. “S’nothing like a sunflower.”

“It’s yellow.”

“Are you two coming!?”

With another shared groan they sulked back towards the house, hands linked together with the dandelion tucked behind Adeline’s ear.

***

After the cake had been cut, which neither had an appetite for any longer, and the backyard was littered with shreds of wrapping paper, Adeline grabbed her purse and nodded towards the door.

“Go start the car, I’m gonna say goodbye to my parents and then we can leave.”

She flew through the house until she finally spotted her mom in the kitchen tying a kid’s shoe.

“Me and Harry are gonna head out. I’ll be home for dinner.”

“Wait!”

Adeline stopped in her escape already halfway out of the room. “What?”

“Can you just watch those three over there?” She nodded towards two little girls and a boy by the back door. “I’m taking Jeremy upstairs to change.”

The boy with now tied shoes smiled up at Adeline, a big pink stain on his shirt that he didn’t seem bothered by.

“Yeah, fine,” she grumbled.

Adeline trudged over to the kids and led them back outside, warning them with empty threats to stay where she could see them. She settled on a patio bench as they played in the yard with a few of the other children.

All was going well until someone called somebody else a mean name, and then a shove brought one of the little boys to the ground.

“Hey!” Adeline jumped up and ran to the crying boy, helping him up and dusting off his clothes. “You okay? Are you hurt?”

His whimpers grew louder until he was nearly screeching, tears pouring from his eyes.

“Hey, you’re alright,” Adeline cooed. “You wanna go inside? Do you want some candy? A popsicle?”

He pulled his hands away from his red eyes and nodded, his cries softening as she carried him in and set him on the counter while she dug through the freezer.”

“Okay, here you go.”

He didn’t waste a second grabbing the dessert from her hands, mumbling a thank you around the treat.

Adeline sighed and leaned back against the fridge, checking the time on her phone and answering Harry’s text asking what was taking her so long.

“I heard screaming is—oh my God!”

A woman with dark hair came barreling towards the little boy, yanking the popsicle from his mouth and pulling him towards her across the counter.

“What!? What’s wrong?” Adeline yelped.

“Did you give this to him?”

“Yeah, he—”

“He’s allergic! Why would you do that?”

Adeline’s eyes shot open as she shook her head, mouth fidgeting around apologies. The woman glared at her, lip curling up as she examined her child.

“You better hope nothing happens to him. What were you thinking? Are you crazy?”

“I—I was just trying to calm him down, he—”

“Leah what happened?” Adeline’s mother rounded the corner, her face twisted with concern.

“Your daughter gave William a red popsicle.”

“Oh, Addy,” her mother winced. “Why would you do that? He’s allergic to red dye.”

“I didn’t know! How was I supposed to know?”

Leah pulled William off the counter and settled him on her hip. “I think I’m gonna take him to the hospital. And Adeline, you’re not to watch my child ever again.”

With that she was gone, a melted popsicle dripping onto the floor and a teary-eyed Adeline left to clean it up.

“Where are the other two? Did you leave them alone?” her mother asked.

Adeline froze as she pulled paper towels off the roll, uttering a quiet yeah. Her mom rolled her eyes and ran outside, yelling at her to clean up the mess.

Once the counter and floor were wiped clean she headed towards the front door, forgoing anymore goodbyes in fear of an impending break down. But as soon as she reached for the door knob Harry came waltzing through, his smile dropping as soon as he saw the first tear slip down her face.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What happened?”

She shook her head, mumbling a quick let’s go as she went around him for the door again.

“Adeline.”

“Can I fucking leave?” She gritted under her breath. “What Brianne?”

“Are you two leaving?”

Adeline looked to Harry and rubbed her eyes. “Yep.”

“Well you could at least say goodbye to Grace. And me.”

“Bye, Bri.” Adeline rolled her eyes. “I’ll call you when I get my life together.”

“Adeline why did you give William a red popsicle?” Her dad appeared beside Harry, his hands shoved in his pockets as he rocked on his heels. “His mom’s really upset.”

“Oh my God! Why can’t anyone understand that it was an accident?”

“He’s allergic, Addy,” her dad continued, “that’s not an accident, that’s a trip to the ER. You could’ve seriously hurt him, you need to be more responsible.”

She rolled her lips in and sucked in a breath, filling up her lungs as much as she could while she counted to ten.

“You need to tell Grace goodbye before you leave,” Brianne chimed in.

“Fine,” she bit.

Adeline grabbed Harry’s hand and dragged him through the house and out the backdoor where everyone was standing around. Her eyes skimmed over every kid that darted by, her anger boiling by the second.

“D’you see her?”

Harry shook his head, taking a step back to peer into the house for any sign of Grace. “No not yet. Maybe we—Ahhhhh.”

When Adeline jumped around, Harry was lying on the ground, well, on the long table that he now broke which was bent under his weight, on the ground. The crash itself was spine-tingling, an explosion of something shattering mixed in with his shouts.

“My tea set!” Grace came bounding over, her tiny hands pulling at Harry’s shirt. “Look what you did!”

“M’sorry, I—I fell.” He pulled himself up with Adeline’s help, groaning as she picked out shards of pastel porcelain from his backside.

“You broke it! You did it on purpose!”

“I did not,” he grumbled, frowning down at the child who had a scowl on her face. “I slipped. Was an accident.”

Right on cue Grace’s mother stepped out of the house, rushing over to her sobbing child to assure her they would buy her a new tea set. She looked up at Harry with her brows pulled in. “Harry, dear, you need to be more careful. Both of you, really. You’re older and you need to set the example, stop acting so crazy.”

Adeline bit her tongue. Example for what? If it was possible there’d be steam piping out of her ears and fire shooting out of her mouth. She held back a bundle of words, and instead of furthering her embarrassment she tugged on Harry’s sleeve and headed back inside.

Silently they both made it outside and back into his car, where they both slumped in their seats. After a few minutes of stewing in peace Harry started the car, flipping the visor down to block out the setting sun.

“Well that was eventful,” Adeline groaned once they pulled out of the neighborhood.

“They expect you to have your whole entire life planned out, but then God forbid you make a mistake, you’re treated like a child. S’crazy.”

Adeline shook her head in understanding. She dazed off at the scenery passing by, deciding to do herself a favor and push today as far into the back of her mind as she could. Her eyes started to get heavy, and before she fell asleep with her head against the window she slipped the little dandelion out from behind her ear.

She twirled it in her fingers a few times before turning to Harry and sliding the flower behind his own ear, running her hand down his jaw and grazing her thumb over his cheek.

“Ah,” he flinched, pushing her hand down. “M’burnt, don’t touch me.”

[ofstarsandvibranium]

The Princess Project: Part 5

Fandom: Marvel (Royalty AU)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You and Prince Bucky have been arranged to marry. You hate each other, plus Bucky already loves another, Duchess Natasha. In 3 months, you have to make the king and queen believe that Natasha is the right one for Bucky instead of you.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

A/N: just for kicks, i’m gonna do an epilogue.

After Bucky almost kissing you, you decided to avoid him as much as possible. You were conflicted. You were introduced to a new side of Bucky, one that made your heart want to burst out of your chest. That couldn’t happen. 

You requested Nat to tell him not to show up at her lessons, despite being confused, he obliged. Every time Bucky asked if you wanted to hang out, you shot him down. He didn’t understand. He thought that you two were doing okay and now you were avoiding him? That just wouldn’t do. He was hurt.

So after Nat left with her lesson with you, he barged into the library, “Alright! What gives?!” his loud voice startling you.

You turned around, holding your hand to your chest, “What on Earth?”

“You’ve been avoiding me for weeks! So I ask again: what gives?’

You shrugged as you passed him, “I’ve been busy.”

Bucky followed you out, “Bullshit! I’ve been asking around and you haven’t been doing jack shit!”

You snapped at him, “I don’t appreciate you talking to me like that, James.”

Bucky scoffed, “So it’s James again? I thought we were passed all this! I thought we were doing okay!”

You shook your head, “It doesn’t matter. Our friendship doesn’t matter. Natasha is almost done with her lessons. She’s improved immensely, so my time here will be cut short, which means we don’t have to see each other again unless necessary.”

“Why are you doing this?!’

“Because you’re going to marry, Natasha! Once you’re with her, you’ll forget all about me. So there’s no point. None! So just forget about this forming friendship. Drop it. It’s not happening. You go be with your love and I’ll be left alone. Again.” after your last word, you spun on your heel and ran to your rooms. A loud slam echoing off the walls. 

Bucky ran his hand down his face in frustration. How the hell can he fix this? He had to fix this?

The next day, Natasha’s lessons finally ended. You gave her a congratulatory hug and made your way to the throne room to speak with the king and queen. 

Nat stood in-between you and Bucky. You stood there vocalizing your reports on Natasha’s changes. Your eyes shined with pride, something that Bucky noticed and found endearing. He, of course, noticed the changes in Nat and he couldn’t help but be reminded of you. It was like Nat was you, but not. He’d never admit it, but at one point, Bucky yearned for you to be in Nat’s place. A thought he shot down immediately. You didn’t want him. At all. A fact that made his chest hurt.

“And James?” Bucky looked up at his mother’s voice, 

“Sorry?”

“Do you think Nat is ready?”

He looked at Nat, she looking at him. Hope filled her eyes as she shyly smiled at him. He quickly glanced at you, your eyes were down, looking at your feet. He just wished you would look at him. He then look at his parents, “Absolutely.”

King George nodded, “We’ll put her to the test. Next weekend, we’re holding a ball for Rebecca’s birthday. There will be a formal dinner held.” he stared straight at Natasha, “This will be your chance to see how much you’ve learned.”

Nat nodded, “Of course, your highness.”

He then looked at you, “Princess Y/N, you will attend as well.”

You looked at him confused, “Pardon?”

He chuckled, “Surely, you’d like to see your hard work put into action?”

You sighed in defeat, “If you insist your majesty.”

Throughout the week, you found yourself spending a lot of time with Princess Rebecca. She was very knowledgeable and kind, and just a wonderful person to be around. One day, you were spending time with her in the gardens.

“You’ve caused my brother a lot of distress, Y/N,” she said with a smirk.

You waved her comment off, “He’ll get over it.”

She shook her head, “I don’t think he will. He’s asked me a lot about you. How you’re doing? If you’ve spoken about him. What have you done to him? he asked with a giggle.

You sighed, “He’s just butthurt that I’ve decided not to be his friend anymore.”

“You decided that after hanging out with him for a day?”

“Becca, you don’t understand. Once he and Natasha get married, I’ll be all alone again. He says he’ll be there for me, but I highly doubt it. People have said that to me all the time...they never kept their promise. I’m just saving myself from hurting again. This has happened too many times. I can’t let it happen again. Besides, he’ll never have to deal with me again. I’m sure he’d eventually see what a blessing that’ll be.”

The day of Rebecca’s party came and you were relieved. Finally, once this day was over you could go back to your country and forget about Bucky.

Throughout the day, you distracted yourself with helping prepare for the party. You set up decorations with Wanda and helped lay out the food. A lot of the servants were confused by your actions, but the more help the better, right?

Rebecca even started to help. You stood on a latter, hanging up streamers along the walls. Rebecca assisted with handing you tape talking to you throughout the time. 

And Bucky? Bucky stood across the hall watching you. Enjoying the smile on your face and your burst of giggles. Last night, after being intimate with Natasha, he came to a disturbing conclusion: he liked you. Really liked you. But you wanted nothing to do with him, afraid you’d be cast aside. Bucky was conflicted. He felt so guilty. Natasha worked so hard to be the person his parents would approve of. And how did he repay her? By falling for someone else. Fate was too cruel.

“Y/N!” at the sound of his sister’s cries, his eyes focused on you. You were losing your balance on the latter. Without a second thought, Bucky rushed over to the otherside of the hall, holding out his arms. You fell off the latter, closing your eyes, awaiting for the impact of the hard floor, but it never came.

“Are you okay?” You opened your eyes and met with familiar blue ones.

You quickly scrambled out of Bucky’s arms, “Y-Yeah. Thanks.” You turned to Rebecca, “I forgot I had something to do. I’ll see you at the party.” You ran out of the hall, Bucky’s cries falling deaf upon your ears.

Bucky’s shoulders sagged and Rebecca patted her brother’s shoulders, “It’s okay, Jamie.”

He shook his head, “No, it isn’t, Becca. I’m fucked! Nat’s done so much to be the princess mom and dad wants her to be and I end up falling for Y/N! I’m royally fucked! How the hell am I gonna get out of this? If I go forth with marrying Nat, I feel like I’ll never be happy. If I end up telling her I don’t wanna marry her, she’ll hate me forever that may result in breaking the alliance with us. What the fuck is my life right now?!”

“Just follow your heart, Jamie.” 

He scoffed, “Easier said than done. My life isn’t the only one at stake here...”

“-and he caught me and I just stared into his eyes-those beautiful blue eyes! God, they’re so blue-anyway, and I panicked! I can’t stand to be near him because when I am, I just feel my heart breaking and this whole situation is so fucked up! Wanda, what am I supposed to do?!” you rambled as you paced around your room. Wanda sat on your bed listening to you.

You fell back onto your bed with an “oomph!” and looked at your handmaiden and friend. She shrugged, “Honestly, I’m not sure what to tell you, Y/N.”

You frowned at her, “Thanks, Wanda. You’re a lot of help,” you said sarcastically. You groaned, “Fuck it. After tonight, I’m leaving this place and never coming back again.”

Wanda giggled, “Dramatic. So you’re just going to forget about me?”

Your face softened, “Of course not. I’ll send a car or plane or boat or whatever you prefer for you to visit me.”

She smiled wide, “Sounds like a plan to me.”

You hopped off your bed, “Alright. Now let’s start packing my things.”

As Bucky headed towards the hall, he had in his mind to talk to you. No matter how many times you shot him down or tried to avoid you, he was going to talk to you and you were going to listen. Like it or not, his words will be heard. 

He entered the hall and music was playing. Family and friends of his family were scattered about. Some were dancing, some were chatting, some were drinking. A typical party. 

His eyes scanned the room for you and he spotted you by the dessert table with Wanda. You looked amazing. You wore this sky blue dress that reminded him of Cinderella.

He was just about to walk towards you, until his sister’s arrival was announced. Everyone turned towards the doors and applauded as she entered. Bucky smiled and walked up to his sister, offering his arm, “You look beautiful, Becca.”

She smiled back, “Thanks, Jamie.”

Throughout the night, you were basically a wallflower. You hung around Wanda a lot, just watching everyone. You constantly spotted Natasha and observed how restrained and reserved she now was. She spoke politely with other guests and she danced with a few, knowing exactly how to waltz now. When she ate, she ate respectively and exactly how you taught her. She was absolutely perfect. The idea made you proud, but it also hurt you. 

After dinner, that’s when the party went full swing. Many of the older nobles decided to leave, which left the younger ones to let loose and be more free. You noted that Natasha did just that, but in consideration. She hung herself off Bucky, of course. They were perfect together, you had to admit. Despite you hating their lovey dovey attitude, you knew they were made for each other.

You sat at a table all by yourself. You insisted on Wanda dancing with her crush, Bucky’s fencing coach, Vision. They loved each other as well. That was blatantly clear. And you were left all alone again.

You stood up, drying the impending tears from your eyes and walked swiftly towards the exit. Your abruptness made you noticeable to Bucky, whom was by the drinks table. This was his chance. He quickly set his glass onto the table and ran after you. 

You ran up the stairs and towards your rooms, ignoring the echoes of footsteps that followed you.

“Y/N! Wait!” You knew that voice.

“Leave me alone, James!” you called out.

“Y/N, please!” he ran after you. You pushed your door open and right as you were about to shut it, Bucky burst in. 

You stumbled back, your face stern, “James, leave!”

“No!” he noticed your teary eyes and his voice softened, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

You shook your head, “It doesn’t matter.”

Bucky swiftly approached you, “It does matter, Y/N. You’re crying.”

You whimpered as he wiped your tears away with his thumbs, “Please, go away.”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m hurting. I’m all alone and-and I hate it.”

“But you’re not alone.”

“Yes, I am. Wanda has Vision. You have Natasha. Rebecca has her friends. I have no one.”

“You have me. I told you-”

“You don’t mean though. No one ever does.”

Bucky’s face hardened. He was upset. Upset that you didn’t take his promise seriously. Upset at all the people who’s hurt you. He took your face in his hands and rested his forehead against yours, “I’m here, Y/N. I’ll always be here. You have me. You’re not alone.” without even thinking, he leaned forward and captured your lips. He felt more tears falls, the wetness transferring to his cheeks.

You pulled away, “Stop. This...stop playing with my emotions, James. It’s cruel.”

“Y/N, I know it may be too late to say this, but I like you.”

“You can’t! Not after everything we’ve gone through! After everything I’ve done! You can’t just throw it away!”

“I’d throw everything away for you.”

You turned your back to him and sighed, “One night.”

“Huh?” 

“Let’s just enjoy this one night together and then we’ll go our separate ways.”

Bucky looked at you confused, “Y/N-”

“I’d rather have one night with you than none at all. James, we have our own duties for our countries. I’m not letting you ruin your future for me. So please, let’s just enjoy this night while we can.”

“Okay.”

That night was filled with stolen kisses in your room. You held each other close as you laid in your bed. You talked about anything your mind came up with. 

As you began to fall asleep, you heard Bucky mumble, “I wish things were different.”

You replied before drifting off, “Me too.”

The next morning, Bucky tried to cuddle with you, but he found your side of the bed empty. He sat up looking around, “Y/N?”

He heard a honk outside the window and he got up, walking out onto the balcony. He looked below to see a car donning your country’s flag. Servants were bringing your luggage into the car. He watched as you eventually walked out, Wanda and Rebecca in tow. You turned and hugged them both. The faint sound of your giggling reached his ears. 

Bucky found himself clenching his fists and his eyes starting to water. You were really leaving without saying good-bye to him?

Feeling someone’s eyes on you, you looked up to see Bucky. His eyes were filled with so much hurt. Before getting into the car, you mouthed, “I’m sorry.” the door was shut and a few seconds later, the car drove off with you in it. 

It wa for the best wasn’t it?