#bc all of us remember a moment like this but lemon was dead on the ground

[warlordfelwinter]

enjoy the potentially previously unposted and absolutely funniest fiver and the cat girls image

[ghostly-shenanigans-in-progress]

BNHA X DP Crossover HCs

After the long wait and finals, here are my ideas for all the quirks/occupations and other concepts I devised for the DP characters in the BNHA universe. This was just for fun and for inspiration towards others interested in this crossover au in general. 

Tagging the people that were looking forward to this post based on the replies: @qoinq-qhost, @floralflowerpower, @tgfangirl4eva @goodfish-bowl, @whitehairglowinggreeneyedcrush and more. 

Anyways, happy reading, folks!

Mr. Lancer

Hero name: Mr. Scholastic

Quirk: Bookworm

Involves his iconic usage of literature titles & quotes for swears to become abilities corresponding to the novel’s contents/themes. Course, he is limited to only books he has read and can quote accurately. Additionally, his voice gets very raspy past two or three quotes as well.

Occupation: Homeroom Teacher for Class 1- A; He’s very dedicated to his new students and teaching the fundamentals of being a pro hero and more! Course, I don’t think his chamomile tea with a wedge of lemon is enough to help him relax from his students (*cough* Danny, Tucker and Poindexter) from their antics at times. 

Danny

Hero name: Phantom 

Quirk: Ghost core (Ok, @coffeecakecafe had the best name for this one gotta give credit here)

Able to do anything a ghost is perceived to do. Go through walls, disappear and fly. This is a one of a kind quirk as it was obtained from Danny’s old quirk being altered by a machine his parents made that would repurpose/alter an individual’s quirk based on their past family members' own metahuman genetics.

Danny is doing his best and trying to understand his new quirk without causing too much attention to himself while doing so but it seems like its been doing the opposite as of late. Thankfully, he won’t be doing it alone with all his classmates around to help him!

Sam

Hero Name: Black Dahlia 

Quirk: Overgrown 

Able to create any plant that she knows the biological makeup and content of in almost any environment. However, it is important for her to drink lots of nutrient rich water and take in enough sun if she plans to create larger versions of these plants.

Tucker

Hero name: Tech Master

Quirk: Tech Core

Located on his chest/heart area is a special energy core capable of powering electronics at a rate faster than anything made-man could ever hope to achieve. As a kid, Tucker would tinker away in his family’s garage on a suit that would harness his power to the fullest extent and lead a new era of support tech in the hero world.

Valerie

Hero name: Red Huntress

Quirk: Electromagnetism (Someone I’ve been trying to find their post on my blog had posted this idea and I fell in love with it ever since)

She’s like Static Shock but with a dash of magenta/ruby lasers she can create through focusing her electromagnetism through her finger tips. She is an expert with her quirk and has the best handle of her quirk than most of her peers. She is the most frequent visitor in the support equipment workshop next to Tucker, Poindexter and Danny. It’s how she built the hoverboard she has in the show that utilizes her electromagnetic abilities for both offensive and defensive maneuvers. (Also, I enjoy the idea that Bullet is Val’s uncle on her mom’s side and is her biggest supporter alongside her dad, Damien Gray).

Jazz 

Quirk: Serenity 

Helps calm individuals and give them a sense of safety/security when they’re around her in a 10 feet radius. Though, anyone out of range cannot be affected by her quirk and she needs to be conscious in order to use it.

She planned on becoming a pro hero but felt her powers were best suited for her dream profession as a psychologist. She has used her quirk a lot when Danny was overwhelmed with his studies prior to UA. Course, a phone call and sibling chat over the phone certainly does the job for Danny now when it comes to preparing material for exams. (Course, its up to you guys to decide)

Dash

Hero name: Rager

Quirk: Strength Magnification

Improves his physique and stamina by a large percentage for a set amount of time. Needs to be careful of how much/long he magnifies his body or else his body will become immensely sore. 

Kwan

Hero name: Rallier 

Quirk: Team Rally (50/50)

Able to duplicate himself 3-4 times while being able to power-up allies’ quirks or stamina with a rally chant to help the team. The more duplicates there are the rally effect multiplies/stacks on the individual but it can lead to dangerous outcomes for their quirk output. 

Kwan is the class representative for 1-A, he’s the best at the job and was more than thrilled to be the one leading his class in more ways than one.  

Paulina

Hero name: Enchantress

Quirk: Charm

If the opponent is flustered by her taunts or flirting, their vision will become altered and start seeing things that are not there. It works better on men than women and the opponent can snap out of it with enough willpower or if they’re not interested in her.

Star

Hero name: Ms. Meteorite

Quirk: Comet

Similar to Gran Torino’s Jet quirk except faster and she can create an explosive impact on where she lands. Similar to a meteorite landing on earth, she also learns to use this as a long distance move by punching fast enough as she descends to create wind pressure punches.

Poindexter

Hero name: Tex (like in Tex Avery; Danny gave him the idea!) 

Quirk: Slapstick

His appearance is black and white just like an old timey cartoon character as well as having the durability and cartoon powers of one. However, his quirk can only work as long as what he does with it is funny in the circumstance it’s used for. Sort of like “Who Framed Roger Rabbit” rules in a sense. 

Sidney is part of Class 1-A just saying, I don’t care, this is Poindexter’s time to shine here to be the coolest/funniest person in the class. Also, Tucker’s most loyal friend/tester for new support items. 

Wes Weston

Hero name: Vigilance

Quirk: Deduction

He is able to deduct people’s identities to flaws/weak points for him to use against them and  exploit against problems. 

Class 1-B Representative and the most annoying/terrifying person that Danny has dealt with in his life. He was able to figure out that Danny’s quirk is not his own or more so that it's not natural and takes every opportunity to state this regardless if anyone is listening or not. 

Amber Mclain

Hero Name: Ember

Quirk: Fiery voice (50/50)

Her quirk uses the vibrations in her sining voice to conduct intense heat waves onto opponents or utilize to rumble the structures around here and even put out the flames from her quirk. Its like a combination of Present Mic and Endevours quirk but it leaves her with a strained or inflamed vocal cords with overuse. 

Third year student or an upcoming rock star that has certainly gain huge popularity after her song “Remember” was a nationwide hit amongst the younger generation. She’s striving to be the top hero while making her next hit to become the 1# song on the listings. 

Dani

Hero name: Phantwo (lol jk; unsure what her name would be)

Quirk: Poltergeist 

Similar to Danny’s quirk “Ghost”, except she has the additional ability to melt herself to a slimy puddle and use her ectoplasmic slime to trap or surprise opponents.

Clockwork

Hero Name: Clockwork

Quirk: Time Keeper

Clockwork’s quirk allows him to stop time for 5 to 15 minutes and be able to rewind it in the same amount of time. It can be one to multiple objects as long as he touches them in order to interact with them.

Principle of UA in this au. He’s quite a reserved man but still manages to visit and congregate with students throughout the school during lunch period. 

Flynn Fenton/Flynn Walker

Hero Name: The Green Knight

Quirk: Mineralization 

His quirk allows him to manipulate the minerals and inorganic materials in the atmosphere to create into crystalized constructs that are almost stronger than diamond. Luckily, the crystals have no value so he doesn’t have to worry about that aspect of his quirk. He does have to worry about his skin becoming dried out as a result of his quirk usage. 

Flynn is a third year student that loves to check up on his cousin, Danny, any chance he gets bc of the amount of work he does with his internships.

James Walker (or James W. Hausermann)

Hero name: Warden Wraith

Quirk: Plasma Apparatus

His quirk ionizes the electrolytes in the blood system into plasma. His entire body is composed of plasma giving him his skeletal appearance. He can create plasma chains, teleport from point A to B and more as long as he focuses and has enough energy at use. Course, he can have minor to severe dehydration and imbalance in his electrolyte levels from overuse. 

Occupation: CEO of an infrastructure security company/Provisional License Examiner just like Gang Orca.The ghost prison guards become his backup/helpers for the exam phases. (They’re just trained stuntmen with combat or military experience for the occasion).

Also, I like to think Walker has kids in this au who are in the Class 1-A group; they’re not hard to spot they take after their father with their skeletal complexion. 

Skulker

Villain name: Quirk Hunter

Quirk: Tracker

The moment Skulker makes eye contact with his target he will be able to hunt them down and find them anywhere no matter how good they are at covering their tracks. He can lock on to only one target, but he will be able to know their heart beat, quirk, be able to place a tracking/scent line that only he can see and will lead him to his target’s location. It lasts for over a day or a half.

Occupation: Skulker is known for capturing, info-detailing or “retiring” newcomer pros or specific quirk users for his clients that pay him handsomely for their targets, dead or alive. Thanks to Vlad, Danny was strictly intended to be captured alive by Skulker but sometimes he gets too thrilled by the hunt to not have a memento. Trust me, it's more of a dangerous 

Nicolai Technus 

Villain Name: Technus 

Quirk: Technopathy

A genius in his own right, even if he’s a little crazy, with the best ability possible for a man of science and innovation. As long as he knows the makeup and attributes of the machine, Technus is able to completely repurpose or change a machine’s qualities for offensive and defensive qualities. Whenever that be for a mech suit or hacking a high tech system for entry, he’s able to do it as long as he knows what it is and how it functions. An example is repurposing a slot machine into a submachine gun that shoots coins at the target. 

Vlad Masters

Name: Vlad Plasmius

Quirk: Vampire

Can do anything a vampire can supposedly do. However, he was able to manifest an additional aspect of this quirk which is the ability to copy any quirk users ability. Based on the type of blood he ingests decides the amount of time he can use the copied quirk for.

Occupation: CEO of his own hero firm, he is extremely selective with the interns he has that there is a major waitlist to be even consider for Masters Inc. Course, imagine the surprise Danny must of felt when he received an offer from Vlad right off the bat after the Sports festival. 

Bruce Guiles (Bullet)

Hero Name: Bullet 

Quirk: Sphyraena or Chimera Fish

Able to do anything a barracuda can do or the quirk is a 50/50 mutant quirk in which he has both the traits of a barracuda, Chimaeras and a touch of piranha from his parents being of one of these fish species hence Chimera. Bullet can do anything those fish can do overall but he can’t go too long without hydration from water. Water quality and its oxygen content also affect his abilities by a noticeable percentage but he still remains quite formidable as a quirk user.

Occupation: Captain of a coast guard team, he’s a strict military man with an amazing record of saving people from any disasters both on land and sea. Him and Walker are best buddies ever since they went to school together. 

Vortex

Hero Name: Vortex

Quirk: Storm Warning

Vortex can utilize any variation of a natural disaster depending on the environment he’s in. Hurricanes, tornadoes, thunderstorms, you name it he can create it for his use. However, despite his amazing control over his quirk it is still possible for him to create these disasters if he lost control or magnify another pre-existing one if he loses focus. 

Occupation: Storm-chaser/Forecaster; His control and knowledge in combating/predicting these natural disasters has led to him to be part of a storm chasing crew and they’re the best in helping disaster prevention teams evacuate citizens as a result.

Petra Eris

Hero name: Pandora

Quirk: Butterfly Effect

Can manipulate or prevent a chaotic event to happen if she was in proximity and present to prevent it to happen. Or even give a little chaos to the opponent to deal with during battle. 

One of the top ten heroes and most beloved heroes in the country. She is the best strategist in any team and has a way to predict any event before they happen given the necessity of it for her quirk to work in her favor. 

Johnny 

Vigilante name: Johnny 13

Quirk: Unlucky

Johnny manifests his bad luck into a shadow that will latch onto opponents and cause unfortunate events to occur more for that individual as a result. However, the shadow cannot exist in complete sunlight; it can only remain if there are already shadows in his general area or it’s nighttime and its effects are strongest at that time obviously.

Occupation: Johnny is the leader of a biker gang or de-facto leader of said biker gang who loves to raise hell and helping folks that need saving whenever he’s around or is up to the task. Kitty tags along with him to help him out of jams and bc she loves him. :3

Kitty

Vigilante name: Kitty

Quirk: Lovesick

Kitty sends a smooch towards her opponent which if it makes contact causes the individual to have nausea or become disoriented for around 10 minutes. It can also have a chance of lasting longer if the individual was sort of infatuated with her regardless of gender. 

Pariah Dark

Villain name: King Pariah

Quirk: Ultimate Adaptation 

Similar to all for one except with the unpredictability for both the user and opponents. Pariah can manifest any type of quirk needed to defeat anyone that stands in his way both one-on-one and in groups. Course, drawbacks are the learning curve to some of the quirks and that multiple adaptions he utilizes at once will destroy his cells in the process. 

Pariah is a former follower of all for one who had unique quirk that All for one augmented to help him succeed if both Shigaraki and Tomura failed in their own conquest for the world. But now Pariah has his own plans to succeed where they failed and become the leader who shapes a new world order with an iron fist. 

Frederick Kingsmen

Villain/vigilante name: Fright Knight

Quirk: Burning Energy Infusion

Able to form/infuse objects with his own burning energy life force that is capable of burning or slicing through any in his sight. The sweat he gives off is what provides the material needed to ignite his unnatural flames despite it causing his body to overheat still. 

Fright Knight is Pariah’s second-in-command with a loyalty to him as strong as his control over his power. Fright Knight has faced many pro-heros as he carried out the smaller phases of Pariah’s plans and most of them barely came close towards defeating or leaving as much as  scratch on the knight. 

Rodolfo Gonzalo  

Hero name: Wulf

Quirk: Werewolf + Portal creation (50/50?)

Can do anything a werewolf can supposedly do; somehow it allows him to create portals with his claws to locations he has marked with them or visited in the past. 

Wulf was abducted on by Pariah’s forces and sent into the Nomu labs for experimentation to force on another quirk and instill complete allegiance to their cause. Course, Wulf broke free as a result of that new additional quirk allowing him to escape their clutches and his previous one helping him survive the endeavor. However, he lost his memories in the process and could only remember his native language, Spanish, and his hero name Wulf. 

Overgrown

Villain/vigilante Name: Overgrown

Quirk: Plant Manipulation

Can manipulate any pre-existing plant matter or create new vegetation if water and soil is present for the process or he understand the biological makeup of the plant in question. 

Occupation: Pro-hero or eco-terrorist who is tired of humanity from abusing the environment from quirk battles to industries using the land for their own benefits and none others.

That’s all I have for now! I hope this was worth the wait, guys. As well as, inspire ideas for your takes with a DP x BNHA Crossover! 

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 150

I think for the time being, I am going to quit calling myself ‘late’ posting as long as I get the chapter up on the right day of the week *facepalm*.  Bc I am barely keeping ahead, much less remembering to queue things up.

I am so, so sorry about that....

Fair warning before anyone @s me: The French is a joke, so if I got it super wrong I am equally sorry to the degree of which it’s wrong.

Unless it’s obscene. Then I want to know so that I can laugh with you, and I am LEAVING IT.

As always, shouts out to @baelpenrose, @the-raven-fae, and @charlylimph-blog!

Heaving an enormous Dutch oven onto a burner, I turned on the heat low and started chopping vegetables. After the first celery stalk, I glanced up at Derek, who sat across from Maverick in our living room.  The quarters were shaped differently, which had distressed Derek initially, but the addition of his favorite blankets to the sofa had helped.  Currently, he was completely distracted from even Mac: staring off into space, his fingers flying and flicking with a feverish, almost convulsive movement.

Maverick glanced up at me with a smile before following my gaze. “Yep, the cyber siege continues.  He’s doing well, from what Zach told me.”

“I thought he was only supposed to attack human-managed systems,” I grumbled, thinking back to the cold shower I had been subjected to that morning. Turning back to the vegetables, I made short work of the celery before taking my frustration out on the carrots. Scooping the diced vegetables into a bowl, I started measuring out paprika, sugar, salt, pepper, basil, and oregano into another bowl.  “Where’s Sam, by the way?”

“On the way,” Maverick promised. “With Terran-style tomatoes, he swears.  And Derek is only attacking systems we manage.  When BioLab 2 was set up, we had to take over water management, to protect the lab from any sort of contamination.”

The knife in my hand, brandished at three cloves of garlic, clattered to the work surface. “Seriously?” I glared at the tap, suddenly suspicious.

“Probably get water from the console,” he winced, nodding briskly at Derek, who nodded in confirmation without stopping his tapping and flicking gestures.

Groaning, I shook my head and crushed the garlic, removed the skin, and started mincing. All that was left was to wait on the tomatoes from Sam.  The garlic was potent enough, and I wanted to avoid cutting any onion until absolutely necessary since Derek was clearly parked for the duration.

I was saved about fifteen minutes later when Conor and Sam stopped at the door.  Sam waved cheerfully and held up the requested vegetables while Conor removed his boots. A quick shuffle later for Sam to remove his own shoes, and both came to the food prep area - too small to be considered a proper kitchen - to greet me. 

First, Conor gave me a big, smelly hug and a kiss on my hair. “Did you already slice the bread?”

“Ew, you gorilla!” I laughed. “And I haven’t sliced any bread yet, I wasn’t sure how long I had and I didn’t want it to get too stale.”

“They’re toasties, love.” He shook his head with a grin before swatting me on the butt. “No one cares if the bread was a bit stale before you started.”

Over his shoulder, Derek’s head bobbed side to side. “I think someone disagrees.” I looked meaningfully past him.  To Conor’s credit, he looked sheepish.

Sam squeezed around and handed me the tomatoes and gave me a hug. “Thank you for making soup.”

“I know it’s our favorite,” I winked before shooing him out of the area. “Not enough room for more than one in the kitchen. Y’all go unwind out there, and make sure you warn Derek that I’m about to start cutting onions.”

As he held up his hands and jokingly scurried away, I turned to the stove and started cursing myself. I’d forgotten to start boiling water. Snagging a small saucepan, I got a carafe of water from the console and started rectifying that, tossing in a generous pinch of salt.  Gently, I cut an X into the bottom of each tomato and set them aside before peeling and dicing the onion.  Immediately, the onion, carrots, and celery went into a food processor.  “Derek, I’m about to be loud,” I called softly before counting to ten to give him time to cover his ears or step into the corridor.  A quick blitz later, the vegetables were perfectly between a mince and a puree.

A quick swizzle of oil went into the already-hot dutch oven before adding the mirepoix and giving it a quick stir. As if on cue, Tyche and Antoine breezed through the door, noses twitching.

“I smell food,” she announced, stalking into the kitchen.  One look at the ingredients was all it took. “Ooooo you’re making the tomato soup.”

I couldn’t help laughing. “I am, and you know I don’t have room in here for spectators, unfortunately.” Arching an eyebrow, I pointed the spoon in my hand at the table.

She wasn’t having it. “One of these days, you’re going to show me how to make that. May as well be today.”

“Nice try, but I need some secrets. Besides, the longer I argue with you, the more likely the vegetables are going to scorch. Scoot!”

She scrunched her face at me but acquiesced. As I scooped the garlic into the pot, I heard her change topics. “How much longer is the stress test? My music keeps getting mixed up with Antoine’s. I don’t mind it, but…”

Antoine smiled softly and shook his head. “But it is quite a shock to expect classical music and instead her rock starts playing.”

Personally, I liked both, but still shuddered at what he was talking about. Carefully lowering three of the tomatoes into the now-boiling water, I glanced at the sauteing vegetables and gave them a quick stir to check. “We have about six more days before the repairs start, maybe four more after that?”

Conor sighed. “I wish we could ask if anything important was being hacked, not just annoying environmental controls.”

“Plants aren’t dead yet,” Sam pointed out, tipping his bottle of water toward Conor in a practiced gesture.  Everyone laughed when, rather than being reassured, Conor leapt to his feet to check on his ‘babies’ in the room.

Cursing, I dipped the tomatoes out of the boiling water and dropped them immediately into an ice bath.  A couple pokes with my trusty spoon showed they weren’t overcooked, thankfully. “None of my information for work has been acting up,” I admitted as I started peeling them. “But Pranav advised that more critical data would either go completely missing or not show any signs of infiltration.  We won’t know until after the test is over.”

“Lovely,” Tyche drawled as she watched Conor fretting over the plants. “So it’s all or nothing.”

I shrugged and dumped the tomato paste - admittedly, from the console - into the pan of other vegetables.  When I stirred, I was satisfied that the carrots, onion, and celery had cooked down to where they were soft. “In a weird way, it makes sense. They’re testing for catastrophic data breaches, which would pull everything down, or for data theft, which you wouldn’t want to leave traces of.”

The corner of Antoine’s mouth quirked up as I dropped three more tomatoes into the pan of boiling water. “No hidden boba tea this time, that is reassuring.”

Hands still moving without hesitation, Derek whipped his head toward Antoine, paused, and turned back to where he had been staring. Derek’s version of a glare.

“That was Charly,” I responded in unexpected unison with Maverick and Conor.  I smirked while dumping the already-peeled tomatoes into the processor with another pinch of salt. “Seriously, Derek had nothing to do with that other than divine retribution.” I paused for a moment. “Although I do have to admit that the cold showers do seem to track with what Charly reported.”

That only got a shrug from Derek, which was as good as an admission.

The conversation shifted again - something Conor and Sam were working on in the aeroponics labs that I had already heard multiple details on, plus repetition.  Tuning it out, I pulled out the last three tomatoes, dropped them in the ice bath, and took a platter with a loaf of bread, sliced cheese, and butter out to the table. “Mav, can you start setting up the sandwiches?”

He went to stand, but Tyche shooed him back down. “I got it. She may not let me help make the soup on this one, but I can prep a grilled cheese with the best.” Staring me in the eye, she started cutting slices from the loaf defiantly.

I just laughed it off. This was the only tomato soup either of us liked, and she had been chasing me for the recipe for ages.  It had become a running joke at this point, so without hesitation, I moved back to the food prep area, peeled the remaining tomatoes, and gave another warning that I was going to be loud.  Some more blitzing later, the now-pureed tomatoes went into the pan of veggies along with the spices I had already measured out, the juice from one lemon, and enough water to fill the pan three-quarters full.  Leaving that to boil, I moved the boiling water off the stove and swapped it for a grill-pan.

“Sophie!” Conor cried from the armchair where he perched. “You’ve seen the plants we’re growing in the lab! Tell them we’ve managed a crop of roots!”

I winced. “Jury’s out… I’m not sure how aeroponic potatoes are going to turn out, but I can confirm they are in the process of finding out?”

Tyche’s knife fell to the table, and she moved her mouth silently in a very accurate imitation of a fish before managing to sputter. “Air-grown… potatoes?”

The confusion on Antoine’s face was painful to look at. He started to speak before stopping himself and instead pulling up his datapad, jotting a message, and flicking it out to the room.

When I read the message, the confusion was so clear that I hurt my sinuses snorting. Des pomme de terre en l’air? Pommes aeriennes? Talk about being lost in translation…. “Conor, Sam… I think Antoine has the perfect name for those if they work out. Just sayin’”

Tyche snorted and shook her head before handing me the platter, with a stack of perfectly buttered bread, two slices of cheese between every other slice of bread.  The soup had just come to a simmer, so I was stirring intently and just nodded for her to start grilling sandwiches.  Several appreciative sniffs and twenty minutes later, six bowls of soup and six matching sandwiches - three cut vertically and three cut diagonally, because it mattered and was not a battle I was willing to fight - hit the table.  Tyche politely placed the salt cellar and a pepper grinder on the table, although the glare she dished out to the collected group promised strong retaliation to anyone who touched them.

I held up half of my grilled cheese in a mock-toast. “To soup night!”

“To air potato soup, soon!” Maverick offered up with a grin, only for everyone to echo his sentiment with the exception of Derek - who just held up half of his sandwich with one hand and tapped away with the other, not even relenting to eat.

Frankly, as long as he spared a hand to eat, I couldn’t bring myself to care.  He took these tests very seriously, and generally only stopped when he was completely asleep.

Everyone dug in, but it was only after my first spoonful that I spoke up. “Considering how long it took to make sure the tomatoes wouldn’t be poisonous, I’m not sure the potatoes will be ready before we get to Von.”

Conor and Sam nodded, as did Tyche and Antoine, but Maverick stopped with his bowl halfway to his mouth.  Setting it down gently, he angled his head. “What do you mean, poisonous?”

“They’re nightshades,” Conor told him, as calmly as if he was telling us that water was wet. “Tomatoes are the only edible berries of that family, and potatoes are the only edible tubers, so we have to be extra careful.”

Maverick’s eyes grew wide and turned toward his soup. Tyche just reached out and patted his hand. “You’ve eaten this soup for years, and you love tomatoes. They’re safe, I swear.  And Sam won’t let Sophia near the new ones until he’s completely sure they’ll be okay to eat.”

Sam nodded, shoving a soup-covered wedge into his mouth. “We’re growing them in simulated Von-light, hoping that keeps the roots from creating chlorophyll.  If we’re wrong, there’s a forty-three-point-six percent chance they won’t grow at all, ten-point-five percent chance they will give you a stomach ache, eighteen-point-four percent they won’t taste good, and twenty-seven-point-five percent they will taste good and be safe to eat at the same time.”

“Meaning they won’t kill you, you might get a tummy ache, but most likely for this generation, they just won’t grow,” Conor translated.

“Hang on,” I held up my spoon. “What kind of stomachache are we talking here?”

The mad botanists looked at each other and made a few thoughtful faces. Finally, Conor nodded and Sam spoke. “Unripe apples,” he stated flatly. “But just unripe apples.”

“Oh, that’s not too bad,” I shrugged and crunched into my sandwich.

Derek finished his half-sandwich and blindly reached for another. He had it halfway to his mouth before he looked at it and dropped it back to the plate in alarm. You would have thought it tried to bite him rather than vice versa.

Antoine shook his head and reached past the vertically cut sandwich Derek had dropped and delicately handed him a diagonally cut one. “Here you go, friend.”

Glaring at the sandwich like it may betray him, he bit it viciously before going back to the screen he could only see in his mind, seemingly satisfied that the sandwich would not change into the offending shape.

I told you, it matters.

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[trashcreatyre]

I'm gonna explain one of my TMA playlists bc I've been wanting to do that for several months, and how else am I supposed to procrastinate my animatic project at one in the morning?

(here's the link to the playlist bc I think its pretty slappin')

General:

Body Terror Song By AJJ-

I know that it could technically be a flesh song, but I feel like its a bit more vague than that? if that makes sense?

The Afternoon By Lemon Demon-

there's gonna be a lot of Lemon Demon songs in this lol- This one is also pretty vague, but for some reason it kinda reminds me of Michael specifically? I don't 100% know how to describe it.

thrifted youth By dalynn-

Most of the descriptions/reasonings in the general section are pretty simplistic and vague huh? I guess it just kinda fits the vibe? I might be saying that for a lot of the general ones-

Aurora Borealis By Lemon Demon-

this one reminds me of the season five, kinda feels like a jmart song. (also you'll probably notice that there's not much in the ship theme in this playlist. I like to keep my ship playlists separate from my more general ones, don't know why.)

Under My Skin By Jukebox The Ghost-

just kinda fits the vibe y'know? other than that I don't really know.

Turn the Lights Off By Tally Hall-

i can't actually remember why I put this one specifically- that's a bit unfortunate-

When He Died By Lemon Demon-

This one mostly just fits the vibe, makes me think about the really old Victorian era statements.

Ancient Aliens By Lemon Demon-

again, fits the vibe.

She Doesn't Sleep By Anthony Amorim-

Feels like a random statement tbh. also reminds me of Not!Sasha too.

Nightmare Fuel By Lemon Demon-

funky song- fits the vibe- I don't know what more I can say-

Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic-

I don't remember actually???? I think It was an Elias one??? but thinking about it now that doesn't really make much sense???? I'm gonna keep it tho, fits the vibe, at least it does to me.

Bloody Nose By Jack Conte-

fits the vibe :)

Christmas Kids By Roar-

I think I saw an animatic to this one time? now I can only think of the season one archival staff,,,, my beloveds,,,,

La nuit en matin By OH MU-

imma be honest, I have no idea what this one's actually about, but It lowkey reminds me of the intro music during end of season three- y'know, the clown vibes :D

9 to 5 By Dolly Parton-

Archival staff moment

American Healthcare By Penelope Scott-

I guess it could technically be seen as an End themed one? but I put it on bc I felt like it fit the vibes (are you getting sick of reading vibes? i'm getting sick of typing it)

Butch 4 Butch By Rio Romeo-

mostly just the rat filled piano line,,,,,, and also it fits the vibes to me.

Oblivion By Grimes-

Kinda feels like a statement?? In a way?

Murders By Miracle Musical-

the vibes. hopefully thats the last time i type that for this-

oh yeah woo yeah, we're onto the specific Entities now B) lets start with the one that probably has the most, if not, it sure feels like it-

The Spiral:

Spiral Eyes By Rewenge-

yeahhhh,,,, I know it doesn't really fit the vibes all that well, But the title fits and I like it so-

The Distortionist By Ghost and Pals-

this one is SUPER obvious, but it fits REALLY well in my mind.

Out of Her Head (Outerlude) [From The Film Possibly in Michigan] By Korban Baxter-

I can literally picture this one- I lowkey wanna do an animatic of this one one day.

A Crow's Trial By Vane Lily-

OKAY- so this last one is because it's the song from an absolutely GORGEOUS animation/animatic by Akidachi on YouTube, I ADORE this animation. please watch it omg-

again, I'm like, 90% sure that The Spiral has the most songs on this playlist, definitely not a bias or anything. next up is the mf uhhhh-

The Corruption:

Spiral of Ants By Lemon Demon-

no explanation needed.

Maggot By Slutever-

Mostly just the name, but it's a good song too so-

Sick On Seventh Street By Sarah and the Safe Word-

fits the vibe title and actual song wise.

in retrospect under my skin probably could be here-

The Web:

Redesign Your Logo (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

Feels like a very web song,,,

Boris The Spider By The Who-

Spider,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Spider Dance By Toby Fox-

Yes,,, like from undertale,,,,,,,

i think thats it for the web (i swore there were more,,,,)

The Lonely:

Nobody By Mitski-

C'mon, you didn't think I WOULDN'T put this one on, did you?

This December By Ricky Montgomery-

idk what it is exactly about this one, just,,,, feels correct?

Blue Jay Way By The Beatles-

MANNNNNNN- i love this song, my mom hates it- that's unrelated- but I always just feel like there's fog or like, an eerie sea, or something- while listening to it. it feels very lonely-

I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew (1909) By Eddie Morton-

I have no idea why spotify suggested this song to me, but I will never not find it funny. Anyway- reminds me of the crew on Peter's ship :)

The Stranger:

Rattlesnake By Kabaret Sybarit-

Idk, feels like smth Nikola would sing at jon- idk how else to explain it-

A Mask of My Own Face By Lemon Demon-

pretty self explanatory lolll

The Slaughter:

War Pigs By Black Sabbath-

war.

The Hunt:

The Hunter By Slaves-

maybe this one is because it's because it's litterally called the hunter, and that they say hunter a bunch, but it is fun to listen to-

Teeth By 8 Graves-

I cannot remember my reasoning at this current moment-

The Flesh:

Body By Mother Mother-

the lyrics do be fittin doe

The Dark:

Everything Goes Dark By The Hoosiers-

i mean- everything goes dark- what more do you want me to say-

Dr.Sunshine Is Dead By Will Wood and the Tapeworms-

i think its mostly the song's vibe and the title.

The End:

The Trick to life By The Hoosiers-

the trick to life is not to get too attached to it.

Memento Mori: the most important thing in the world By Will Wood-

remember death.

YOOO OKAY NOW WE'RE ON THE ONES THAT I HAVE ACTUAL THINGS TO SAY ABOUT NOW- at least for the most part-

Characters:

i think i'm gonna go from least to most for this- (spoilers, Jon has the most ones because I care him)

Cryptid Hunt- Demo By Averno, Sushi Soucy-

this one makes me think of the WTGFs,,,,,

You're at the Party (Bonus Track) By Lemon Demon-

makes me think about Micheal Shelley,,,,,,,

Saint Bernard By Lincoln-

Alice "daisy" Toner moment-

Mary By The Happy Fits-

mary keay,,,,,,

there used to be a gerry one too, but the more I heard it in the context of the playlist and him, It just didn't fit,,,,,

Ew it's Elias/jonah time-

The Fine Print By The Stupendium-

capitalism- jk- kinda- Idk, just feels like it fits because he really just kinda,,, doesn't care about his employees-

How Bad Can I Be? from the lorax-

I had to-

Boss 3 from the terraria soundtrack-

Listen- I don't know why- but- it has elias/jonah vibes- the vibes are fowl, but the song is good.

Ruler of Everything By Tally Hill-

Panopticon/eyepocolypes time-

Ayooo it's jon time- I really hope I can write out my thoughts in a way that makes any kind of sense- /foreshadowing

A Sadness Runs Through Him By The Hoosiers-

Goddddd,,,,, he's just kinda filled with sadness and survivors guilt, just like, all the time huh?

Home By Cavetown-

the lyrics are just- very him- like- I just gjbdjgsflkjns-

Broken Crown By Mumford & Sons-

frick- the foreshadowing was accurate- the best I can describe it is that the lyrics just???? y'know??? hhh why am I like this sometimes-

Sweet HIbiscus Tea By Penelope Scott-

i'm willing to bet that he never wanted to be the main character-

Honey I'm Home By Ghost and Pals-

I saw a Jon centric animatic to this one time- I can't for the life of me remember who by, But everytime I hear the moth lines, my brain goes ":0" Because I remember there was a time when people kept drawing moth jon- I don't know where that came from but I thought it was very cool.

Who Are You, Really? By Mikky Ekko-

I'm like- actually starting to get frustrated with how poorly im articulating my thoughts right now- this just isn't funny anymore-

Sleep By My Chemical Romance-

I'm not actually sure why for this one- I just remeber putting on my black parade CD, hearing this, and being like, "damn, that do kinda be jon tho-"

I hope you enjoyed my ramblings- tbh, all this sounded and read out better in my head. My words might not make sense, but I do like how the playlist is. also im very tired, maybe this would've been written better if I wasn't struggling to keep my eyes open lol. I'm gonna fall asleep now- or maybe i'll post a spiral themed doodle dump again, who knows. I don't know.

[theouterbankpogues]

after sarah doesn’t invite kiara to her birthday party (a jj x kiara fic)

author : theouterbankpogues aka vi

fandom : jj x kie, jiara | outer banks on netflix

tags : the angst, the fluff, the hurt, the comfort y’know!!

warnings : none

i love writing for this ship bc it has a chokehold on me and i just... i’m so helpless lmao. i read this hc set by @lemon-patches​ (which you should definitely go and read bc it’s amazing and all the feelings) and it talked about how jj and ki were each other’s first kiss and no one else knows. this is basically how i imagine it happened. enjoy!! as always the validation feeds me so yeah if you like it pls share it and stuff (i love reading tags on reblogs so lmao do with that what u will). i imagine they are 15/16, about 6-8 months before s1 idk if that adds up but lol thats what i went with. sorry for any errors u may find xx

a little preview so u know what you’re getting into hehe: “They stood like that for a while, long and quiet breaths synced, arms entangled in waist and shoulders, hearts rhythmically beating, just enjoying the warmth of the best friend they dearly missed.”

Tears streamed down Kiara’s face. She knew that calling the cops was petty, she knew it was the worst of her manifesting itself, but tonight Ki couldn’t bring herself to care. She found herself toppling some books off of her bookshelf. She had always known that she wasn’t good enough for Sarah. The Sarah Cameron. God, she felt so stupid.

Another wave of regret coursed through her. The pit of her stomach hollowed when she re-remembered that she’d actually listened to her parents and decided to give her kook year a genuine try. She had distanced herself from the cut and the pogues, her best friends, the people that she could always count on, the people who always cared. She gave it all up for the superficial bullshit she knew would eventually fall apart.

That entire evening, the anger and regret approached her in harsh and unforgiving turns. She couldn’t escape her own thoughts, she was so mad at herself. She had let herself become vulnerable, given herself up for someone to use and dispose. She felt so weak. All she really wanted to do was fit in, to have a normal year where she wasn’t disappointing her parents, where she wasn’t out at unreasonable hours getting her friends out of messes, watching their string of luck grow thinner and thinner with every prank and practical joke. She was tired of being the middle between the kooks and pogues, she loved the latter and she could’t escape the part of her that was the former. She just wanted to resign to one side, she just wanted things to get easier. Kiara had decided to leave everything for some peace of mind, and now she knew she’d made a mistake. She hadn’t even checked in with John B, his dad was missing and she hadn’t even checked in with him. God, she felt so stupid. Her sobs overtook her as she sat at her bed.

She was so exhausted from the crying she could scream, it had been a few long hours. And Ki, in a moment of clarity, convinced herself that she was too strong for that. Even though she felt horrible, she reminded herself that she was too careful to let this anger get the best of her. Instead, she resorted to taking a few deep breaths and cleaning up the various books and stationary strewn across her bedroom floor as a remnant of her anger. What had happened had happened, she was just going to have to figure out how to cope on her own.

Yeah, I just have to figure it out on my own. I’ll be fine.

That’s when she heard it.

Thud.

Thud. Thud.

Thud.

‘What the-’

She realised that the sound was coming from her window. Stepping toward the side of her room facing the balcony, she realised that pebbles were currently being thrown at her window by a silhouette below it. She couldn’t tell who it was because the backdoor lights had been switched off for the night. It was well past midnight and her parents were soundly sleeping in the next room, she swore she would never forgive the person currently trying to break her window if they woke up. She didn’t want anyone to see her as the mess she was right now. So as quickly and as safely as Kiara could, she opened the balcony window, “What the actual— JJ? JJ is that you?” Kiara couldn’t really understand what was going on, she had stopped talking to the pogues months ago.

“Yeah, hey Ki! Come down!”

“What?”

“You heard me bro, get dressed and come down!”

After a curt nod, she went back into her room, changed out of her PJ’s into some joggers and a hoodie and found herself sneaking out the back door out of genuine curiosity. When she was outside, she realised that neither Pope nor John B were with JJ. Along with that, she realised that he had two boxes of pizza and some beer cans set down on the grass next to him.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I was scrolling through Instagram, realised you weren’t at the party, thought you might need a pick me up,” He seemed to register her tired face and puffy eyes under the dim starlight because he continued, “guess I was right!”

And that’s how, twenty minutes later, JJ and Ki found themselves in a clearing near her house. They sat down opposite each other, the pizza boxes separating them.

“Got your favourite, double cheese, double pepperoni and half the jalapeño.”

Except for the occasional direction here and there, Ki had been quite their entire walk. She couldn’t really even process what was happening. How was JJ here? Why was he talking to her after she’d treated them him like shit the past few months? None of it made sense to her, least of all why this was all from JJ. With all of it perplexing her, the only thing she managed to say was, “You remembered.”

‘Yeah of course I did Ki, just because you stopped talking to us doesn’t mean we stopped caring about you. Come on, dig in, it’s getting cold.”

She didn’t know how to respond to him so she just followed him in picking up a slice from the box. Warm pizza , cold beer and melted cheese heavily complemented the gentle breeze that surrounded them. They fell into a comfortable silence as they ate.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I know Ki-”

“No, everything I did these past few months, the way I cut you guys off, the way I left y’all when you needed me I-”

“Ki we know-”

“God, I’ve been so stupid, I left you guys, like y’all were nothing, y’all needed me and I-”

“Ki, Ki-” Ki just continued, she felt horrible, “KIARA!” JJ saying her full name was so foreign to her, especially since he hadn’t even call her by her nickname these past few months, it undoubtably got her to stop talking.

“I know the pressure your parents put on you to start at that kook academy. Look we all know how hard it is for you to manage these two parts of your life. I know Ki, you don’t have to keep apologising, I know. We know! Why do you think we didn’t try to talk to you when you told us last summer? We want you to do what’s best for you Ki, you are better than us.” At that, Kiara got up and paced back and forth a few steps, remorse hitting her unbearably. 

“I’m not better than any of you. A part of me wanted to leave you all behind.”

JJ’s response was almost instantaneous, “I don’t blame you for it!”

“Well you should! I left you and Pope. I left John B for god’s sake. His dad is most probably dead and I wasn’t theRE.... I-I’m not there.”

At this point the tears had returned to her and she broke on her last word. Her voice wasn’t steady anymore. “I left all of you... I left you.”

JJ couldn’t stand hearing Ki like this, there’s nothing he hated more than having to let down his guard and get real. But JJ, when she said that, realised that this wasn’t about him. 

“Yeah Ki you did, but fuck that. We know you love us, we know that it was a difficult call! You have to forgive yourself. The reason I came tonight was to let you know that you have the people that care about you Ki.”

He stepped toward her and looked her right in the eye, Ki had never seen someone so determined with compassion before, “Whatever you do Ki - if you wanna go to the kook academy, if you wanna be friends with Sarah Cameron, if you wanna cry about how horribly she treated you, if you wanna listen to your parents and not talk to us, if you wanna leave the cut- we’re never not going to have your back. You’re a pogue. You’re our pogue! And if Sarah Cameron can’t see how kickass you are, she doesn’t deserve you and she never did. You got us Ki, we’re always right here. No matter what.”

And throughout all of that, he hadn’t stopped looking directly at her. She was enamoured to say the least, she couldn’t remember the last time JJ talked about something that real, let alone carry an entire conversation himself. Knowing her words wouldn’t suffice, she hugged him. She smelt the sea salt in his hair and pizza grease on his shirt and it was the epitome of comfort to her. JJ hugged her right back, it meant the world to him that he could make her feel at least a bit better. They stood like that for a while, long and quiet breaths synced, arms entangled in waist and shoulders, hearts rhythmically beating, just enjoying the warmth of the best friend they dearly missed. 

Before they could completely untangle from the other, Ki looked back at JJ, god, how did she get so lucky to have someone like him in her life? The air lightened around them as she looked at him, his eyes regained the mischievous glint they always had. It might’ve been because she was slightly tipsy, or because he was staring so intently at her, but for some reason, it felt right. There was no waiting or thinking, she rested her hands on either side of JJ’s face and kissed him. His lips were chapped and they tasted like beer but she loved it. A rush of adrenaline ran through her, it was new and exciting. 

When JJ processed her soft lips on his, and her hands caressing his face, he pulled back. Along with confusion and surprise, there was something in his eyes that Ki couldn’t recognise. But before she decided on asking him what it was about, he was already kissing her again. 

And this time there seemed to be nothing holding him back. His hands were wrapped around her waist, she was grabbing fistfuls of his hair in reciprocation. They knew that they would never be able to do it again so they just gave in. His hands travelled to the small of her back and her neck and she swore that she had never felt something more intoxicating. 

Ki had forgotten where they even were when they broke for air. They were both just breathing, eyes closed and foreheads touching, it was the closest thing to perfect the either of them had ever felt.

When they opened their eyes and looked back at one and other, they were surprised at how comfortable it felt. How... un-awkward, it oddly felt right. But they knew what the rules were, they knew that when Ki got home, they would never talk about it again, and they were fine with that too.

As they approached her doorstep, JJ couldn’t help himself but ask, “Was that your first-” “Yeah.” “Yeah, mine too.” “What?” Kie thought he was joking, JJ had flirted with every other tourist at the boneyard since they were like ten, “Mine, too.” He repeated. There was an honesty to his response that stopped Ki from asking any further. 

She hugged him again. “Thank you for this. I missed you.” He hugged her right back.

“I missed you too. When you come back to us, more beer will be waiting for you no questions asked, don’t ever doubt it.” With that, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead and left. 

Ki had a small smile playing on her lips; she had never felt lighter in her life. 

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Two Live Crew Job

leverage 2.07

Sophie: I love the symbolists.

- - - - -

🥰 I love when the ot3 are together in one frame 🥰

- - - - -

the dogs playing poker painting tho

- - - - -

Eliot: Any sudden movement's gonna cause displacement of the water. It'll set it off.

Parker: Is that C-4?

Sophie: Oh!

(Nate grabs Parker’s hand before she can touch the vase)

Sophie: Parker... please don't poke at the motion-sensitive bomb.

Nate: So, uh... secret admirer?

Sophie: Well, it's no secret they want me dead.

Hardison: What do you think, man?

Eliot: I'd have to reach into the vase to disarm it. It'd go off.

eliot’s lips quivered when he said that bc he’s so nervous for her im-

- - - - -

Parker: Do you have any instant pudding?

(everyone looks at Parker in surprise. Cut to Parker pouring pudding into the vase)

Parker: The powder hardens the liquid, tricks the bomb into thinking it's not moving.

Eliot: Should give you a little wiggle room. Very little

MASTERMIND PARKER

- - - - -

(mourners are gathered around a casket with a line of black cars parked nearby. An open casket shows Sophie lying inside. Eliot is standing at a podium)

Eliot: She had a way of taking care of people, you know? She was a sister... she was best friend, all rolled into one. I'm gonna miss you, Soph-- So-O-O-O-O much, Katherine.

(Eliot leaves the podium. Hardison stands to let Parker walk by and she approaches the podium. Nate stands at the back of the crowd, Eliot joins him)

Parker: Katherine and I have known each other forever. Almost two years. Yeah, I know that probably doesn't sound like a lot to you, but it is to me. I never really had many friends. Which is why losing her is so hard. (sighs) It's so creepy. I mean, she's really dead. I was just talking to her and now she's just laying there. She was just laying there.

(Nate coughs and Hardison gets up to go to Parker)

Parker: Can you hear me?

Hardison: Parker. I'm -- I'm sorry. I'm sorry, y'all. What – What she really means is just, um, Katherine was like family. And sometimes, friends are all the family that you have. So... you -- you good? Come on. Just – let -- just keep going. You got all hysterical and emotional

- - - - -

btw there is at least one door from behind the briefing monitors which means they have at least one extra room (most likely more) from the adjacent apartment eliot knocked the wall down from

they have guest rooms or something back there for if anyone needs a place to crash

- - - - -

Sophie: We used to work together. We did the Copenhagen job in '97, the Berlin Polytech job in '98, and, Nate, remember – Remember that great run in Moscow?

Nate: "That great run"? I chased you for three months.

Sophie: Well, uh, technically, y-you chased us. Sorry.

Hardison: Are you saying that you saw other teams before us?

Parker: Really just another Nate before Nate.

Eliot: Let me ask you a question -- what bugs you more, is it the fact that he was with Sophie first or that he outsmarted you?

Nate: Moving on

eliot puts his arms over the couch and behind parker and I’ll take it + them grinning at each other seeing nate’s discomfort

- - - - -

mikel is wearing flannel in this one and you can now take bisexual mikel from my cold, dead hands

- - - - -

Sophie: Wrong place, wrong time. Starke must have seen me, and now that I’m one of the good guys, decided to get rid of me, because...why? Because... Because I know his scams. Because... I know his favorite scam.

[Warehouse]

(Stark’s team is sitting on crates looking at monitors as he goes over the job)

Starke: Cafe and a moonlit terrace.

Sophie (voice over): The Mona Lisa variant.

[Briefing Area]

Parker: Oo! (claps) That was the first one I learned!

- - - - -

(Hardison is drinking orange soda and working on a computer as Sophie watches)

Sophie: I'm not dead. I'm right here, Parker. So, this is, um, it's what you do, right? You take footage of us on cons and you -- you -- you -- download it into that?

Hardison: Yeah, I analyze it, I monitor comms, I scan for a police frequencies, I -- You had no idea I do all this, did you? Well – d-does nobody respect the van? The van is important. What -- What is that?

Sophie: It's lemon-Zest tea. I got to tell you, it's -- It's a little bit -- It's a little bit whiffy in here.

Hardison: It smells like hard work. That's what it smells like. D-- Whiffy

sophie has no idea what hardison does and does not like the van smell. hardison is ready to go off

- - - - -

Sophie: That was some nice things you said at my funeral.

Hardison: Wait. We -- We trust Nate to make sure the plan works. We trust you to make sure we’re all okay.

- - - - -

Starke: Word is on the street that you run the nastiest crew this side of the Atlantic.

Nate: Well… what?

Starke: Come on. Everybody knows. You robbed a bank and you -- you framed a judge. You rigged a jury to steal a million-Dollar settlement. I hear that you even conned the Irish mob out of a couple of million dollars just this year. Now, that's style.

Nate: That's one way of looking at it.

Sophie: Listen, Nate, if you tell him the truth about us, we're blown

- - - - -

Hardison: I know this style. This is Chaos.

(computer screen flashes signal found. Hardison grabs his keyboard and heads for the back door of the van)

[Parking Lot]

(Hardison exits his van and a little ways down the parking lot, Chaos exits his van with a laptop in his hands. They square off like an old west gun fight)

Hardison: Chaos. I heard you were in jail. Guess I was wrong.

Chaos: Hardison. I heard you sucked. Guess I was right.

(they eye each other across the lot, their fingers twitching. Abruptly they raise their keyboard and laptop and begin typing while car alarms start going off)

this wild wild west showdown tho

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, now, we know Starke. This guy goes by the name Apollo. I've chased him a couple of times -- infiltration, physical security.

Parker: People in that line of high-risk work tend to be very unstable. We could use that. Write that down.

(the rest of the team exchange glances)

🥰 she’s sitting next to eliot with popcorn between them 🥰

- - - - -

Hardison: Now, this person here's ex-Mossad, sealed records. Mikel Dayan used to work both sides as a mercenary.

Eliot: Mikel Dayan. I know that name.

Hardison: You were scared to fight a girl.

Eliot: She'd mop the floor with you, Hardison.

Hardison: I don't care.

Eliot: Seriously. She actually killed a guy once with a mop. It's a funny story, actually. (starts gesturing time parker) She broke the mop and took --

Hardison: Eliot. Eliot. (turns back to monitors) Now, this here's Colin Mason, otherwise known by his hacker handle as "Chaos." As... whatever. Hacked the pentagon, the NSA. The CIA computer guys call him the Kobayashi Maru.

Eliot: What the hell is that?

Hardison: None of y'all got that? Seriously?

Parker: Star Trek.

Hardison: Thank you

parker’s reluctant fistbumb I love them + it’s officially canon that she’s seen at least some of the movies

- - - - -

Nate: I tried to say to her I’m sorry, you know, and I don't –

Security: Because, as men, we're taught to hide our emotions. You share or you pay the price.

Nate: Yeah

- - - - -

Mikel: You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?

(Eliot walks forward, taking off his jacket and hanging it on some pipe)

Eliot (in Hebrew): Not unless she hits me first.

(they approach each other and begin to fight, blocking each other until Mikel hits Eliot in the chest, knocking him back. He touches where her blow hit.)

Eliot (in Hebrew): That counts

let me just say I LOVE that they had a woman hitter

- - - - -

Starke: What is going on, guys?

Guard: Motion sensors went off, sir.

Starke: I already checked that out. Everything's secure. And who's this?

Guard: Uh... he just got lost. No problem.

Starke: Sir, you okay?

Nate: Yeah, I’m fine.

Starke: I'm Nathan Ford. I'm with the insurance company.

(Nate gives Starke an irritated look)

- - - - -

Parker: What kind of bird did you use?

Apollo: North American Kestrel. It's small-Bodied, but its wingspan is expansive enough that it sets off the motion detectors.

Parker: I would've gone with the Scarlet Tanager. Similar wingspan, but the brighter colors are more distracting.

Apollo: Yeah. That was my second choice.

(Apollo scrambles forward in the ductwork. Parker also scrambles forward, headed another way)

- - - - -

eliot taking off his shirt too? equal rights

- - - - -

Starke: Now, why would you want to kill Sophie?

Chaos: Come on, Starke. (gathering equipment) I had set up the perfect double-cross, and then you want to go and bring in a new player at the last minute? "Oh, and by the way, guys, that new player is gonna be Sophie Devereaux." There's no way I’m gonna try to out-con Sophie Devereaux! And I hate to break it to you, Starke, but she was the one that everybody was always scared of. It was never you.

- - - - -

[McRory’s Bar]

(Parker and Apollo sit at a table with locks)

Parker: Go.

(they begin picking locks to see who is fastest. Across the room, Eliot and Mikel sit at a table)

Mikel: I can top that. (pulls her shirt aside to show a scar on her shoulder) Frag grenade, Somalia.

Eliot (pulls up his sleeve to show scar on his arm): Myanmar. Sniper.

Mikel: I was a sniper in Myanmar for a while.

Eliot: When?

Mikel: 2003.

(Eliot looks surprised. Mikel holds up the handcuffs and Eliot quickly pulls her hand down)

Eliot: Oh, no, no, no, no, no. We can't have that.

Hardison (walking by): Handcuffs. Y'all nasty

(eliot has a handcuff kink and was probably pegged within an inch of his life that night. I said what I said.)

- - - - -

(Sophie stands looking down at her grave. The headstone for Katherine has been replaced with one for Sophie Devereaux. Nate approaches and stands next to the grave)

Sophie: Starke was right. I'm not Sophie Devereaux anymore. I haven't been for ages. I... you killed her, you and your silly crusade.

Nate: It's just a name.

Sophie: No, they're not just names, not to me. All my aliases, every one of them, I -- I know when their parents died. I know when they had their first kiss.

[jonathanrook]

5, 14, 15, 21, 28, 34, 48, 52, 64, 70, 84, 93

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? i don't really drink a lot of soda, lol, but i basically don't mind one way or another when it comes to other beverages.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? either sour patch kids or cherry twizzlers (the kind you peel)

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? idk if it counts bc it's a play and i also read it in college and i assume this ask means high school or earlier but rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead. very good no one else in my class liked it but ig everyone at my school just has terrible taste then. funnily enough i couldn't stand a single actual shakespeare play i had to read oof.

21. obsession from childhood? in what category and from what age. okay actually look at every interest i have now, and remove the ones that came out after 2014. that. that's my childhood obsession. like, furbys. webkinz. teen titans. scooby doo. monsters. stuffed animals. i used to film like. everything on a shitty little camcorder and then edit like. Vlogs. back when i was eight ahah.

28. five songs to describe you? *opens up my richie tozier playlist* okay gimme a sec okay but actually i've thought about this so here's a much longer answer then you want: a) i know like. intellectually that soft fuzzy man by lemon demon is a satire about like. bRoOdInG men who are actually just assholes but the description of the titular 'soft fuzzy man' is. in fact. my gender. i'm a trick of the light to love you tonight. b) idk if the next few describe me or like really specific moments of my life but as much as it slaps if you're too shy (let me know) by the 1975 is a song that low key gives me actual anxiety bc. been there. that second verse socked me in the face and stole all my money. c) not to be an ~indie sad girl~ on main but townie by mitski okay that's all. another song where the second verse and just the second verse came for my throat and left no survivors. d) i'm going to be white and a tiktok user again but prom dress by mxmtoon is another one that's like. okay besties who wanted to die after prom gang rise up? e) there's something happening by jack stauber is also gender.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? not an accurate answer to the question bc i don't perceive advertisements but just remembered when i read this that one commercial from when i was a kid for geico w the money w eyes. that's it i'm gonna have somebody's watching me stuck in my head now that's for sure.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? a raspberry or cherry. something small red and tart.

52. favorite font? roboto or courier/courier new! very basic ik but i literally used roboto in like. every typography project i had to do in college. also an unironic comic sans fan fight me but it's not my favorite i just wanted to publicly humiliate myself. look it's cute it's just overused and misused.

64. favorite website from your childhood? well webkinz obvs but also! the g3 mlp site had some baller games i think about all the time. also a site i can't remember the name of but it was like a fashion game where you designed all the clothes but they were like. photos of real clothes that you put stamps on and then you could create a boutique to show them off and buy/sell clothes from other boutiques. every boutique had a logo that you designed yourself and mine was a little devil skull w a crown and i was so proud of that. there were other makeover mini games but it shut down when i was in middle school and i cried over it.

70. left or right handed? exclusively right handed my left hand is tragically inept. my mom's left handed tho but you didn't ask that.

84. podcasts or talk radio? neither i've never listened to a podcast or the radio in my life. i watched the sweet boys podcast for a while but got bored of it but i physically can't pay attention to audio w/o visuals. i've considered listening to jack and erin's podcast just bc i love them but i think it might also kill me.

93. nicknames? no i hate them. when i was in high school my friends and i had this elaborate inside joke where we all had code names but they were like our alter egos and sometimes one of my friends would call me by my code name like randomly in conversation and it made me want to strangle her every time. fuck nicknames all my homies hate nicknames.

[winterrose527]

Love is Blind

Thanks for the ask @octaviahales

I moved this out of my ask so that I could do a page break because this got long because I love this prompt so much.

octaviahales said: I was JUST here I know but a blind date au? Robb & Ella being absolutely determined to get their best friends to date bc it’s so damn obvious to everyone else & finally get them each to go on a blind date but it’s with eachother?? idk if that’s any good and again only if it inspires you oh my gosh

As a PSA to all: I love prompts! Please send along.

**

Jon walked into Last Hearth, one of those New-Westerosi restaurants obsessed with brussel sprouts and truffle oil, at three minutes to 8 o’clock on Friday night. 

He wasn’t much for these kinds of restaurants, preferring to eat at home or at Winterfell, but of all of them, this was admittedly his favorite. 

“Okay just remember you like The Wight vintage 74 and the meatloaf,” Ella said to him as he pulled on the charcoal sweater she’d insisted he wear. 

“Ella I can order for myself!,” he growled, annoyed by how much more comfortable he felt in the sweater she’d suggested than the button down he’d intended to wear. “Just like I can find my own dates!”

“If you were better at finding your own dates we wouldn’t be in this situation, now would we?,” she asked with a skeptical raise of her brow. Her face softened, “And I know you are perfectly capable of deciding what to eat and drink and everything else… I just want you to be happy.”

“I know you do, Ella,” he said with a sigh. 

Ella was always well-intentioned. It was frustrating. Not as frustrating as her always being right though.

“Now is this really necessary?,” he asked, holding up the flower she’d given him. 

“Yes,” she said firmly, “A winter rose. She’ll have one too.”

Jon couldn’t quite believe that he’d agreed to a blind date. He had never been on one before, and quite honestly, they had always been his nightmare. He wasn’t really one for small talk and that was all a blind date could be. 

Plus the uncertainty of it all. At least with a regular first date you know the girl found you mildly appealing. This was a total shot in the dark. 

He gave Robb’s name to the maitre’d. That was all a part of it, Ella loved suspense. 

He was ushered over to a table in the corner. He knew it must be coveted, two corners of it were on a banquette, which Ella had told him long ago made things more romantic. According to her, Robb would always whisper sweet things in her ear over dessert, though according to Robb, they were usually utterly filthy. 

He sat down and waited, setting the blue rose onto the table in front of him. He wanted a glass of whiskey, but he knew that wouldn’t exactly make the best impression on his date and he had been assured by both Robb and Ella that she was worth making a good impression on her. 

“She’s stunning,” Ella said. 

“And so sweet,” Robb confirmed. 

“You’ll adore her,” Ella promised.

“I bet by the end of dinner you’ll feel like you’ve known her for years,” Robb offered. 

Jon highly doubted it, even though he usually trusted Robb and Ella implicitly. 

He turned towards the door and saw a slender figure in a navy blue dress being escorted right towards him. He saw the rose before anything else and then his eyes landed on the most beautiful face he’d ever seen. 

He stood up, his throat was dry and he really wished he’d given in and had that whiskey. 

She looked at him questioningly, as though she didn’t understand why the maitre’d was bringing her towards him, so he reached on the table and picked up the winter rose, waving it slightly. 

Realisation dawned in her eyes and he looked away from them in case disappointment came to rest there. He wasn’t sure that he could take it if he did. 

“Jon Snow,” she said by way of greeting. 

“Sansa Stark,” he offered in return. 

“You’ll feel like you’ve known her for years,” Robb had said. Robb his hilarious and completely dead best friend. 

Oh he’d known her for years, ever since he’d met Robb in pre-school and she’d been gurgling happily in her bouncy seat. He’d known her for all but one of her twenty five years. 

And he’d been in love with her for at least twelve of them.

***

She couldn’t quite believe that she’d allowed Robb to talk her into this. 

He’d caught her of guard last week by asking. In all her life, she had never known her big brother to encourage her to date. He wanted her to be happy, she knew, but if that happiness could be achieved by spending all of her time safe with him and Ella and their family then more the better. 

“I can’t believe you want to set me up with someone,” she scoffed, “Aren’t you the same man who has threatened every one of my last four boyfriends?”

“Well yeah,” Robb nodded, stuffing his face with the lemon bars she’d made for the whole family. The plate was now halfway gone. “But that’s because they were assholes who didn’t deserve you. At least this way, I know he’s a good guy. He doesn’t deserve you - no one could - but he won’t hurt you.”

“You’re not playing fair,” she whined. 

He was so good, and so caring, it was obnoxious. 

“Never have, never will,” he grinned,“Come on Dovey. Give happiness just one more chance.”

So it was that at 8 o’clock on the dot she walked into Last Hearth, her favorite restaurant in the city (they had the yummiest brussel sprouts). 

She smoothed down the dress Robb had suggested, though she suspected that came from Ella. It was navy blue and silk and she was pleased that other patrons were dressed similarly. It was a great tragedy that no one seemed to dress up anymore and she wouldn’t want her date to think she’d been so eager to please. 

She gave Robb’s name to the maitre’d and he nodded at her and escorted her through the dining room.

She fiddled with the Winter Rose she held in her hand nervously and looked around. 

Then, to her utter dismay, she saw Jon Snow of all people sitting at the corner table.

Why does he have to be here? Couldn’t the gods have at least given whatever poor bastard has been set up with me a chance? How am I supposed to care about them when Jon Elliot Snow is sitting a few tables away?

Jon stood up when he saw her and she was about to say to the maitre’d that she was just going to greet a friend quickly when he waved something at her. A single Winter Rose. 

She tried to keep her face placid, though she searched his for signs of disappointment. He averted her gaze and her stomach plummetted. Of course, he had thought tonight was a date, a real date with a girl he might really be interested in. She wondered briefly if he had thought that he was going to get laid tonight and blushed at the thought. 

The maitre’d stood in front of Jon with a flourish as though this was a great unveiling and she mustered all of her strength to greet him with a calm, “Jon Snow.”

“Sansa Stark,” he said in that velvet voice that always made her name sound like a caress. 

“Your waiter will be with you in a moment,” the maitre’d said and took his leave.

“So… I assume that Winter Rose isn’t a coincidence?,” Jon asked. 

“Would you prefer to pretend that it was?,” she couldn’t help but ask. 

He blanched and she regretted it instantly but he recovered quickly, a small smile whispering in the corner of his eyes, “Of course not. You look beautiful, Dovey,” he said kissing her cheek, “Like always.”

He had always been kind, unfailingly so, and he’d been calling her beautiful since before she knew that not everyone in the world was. It didn’t mean anything, she knew that. 

“Well you certainly clean up nice,” she said back, “I’m glad I chose that color over the blue.”

He was wearing the sweater she’d bought him for his birthday last year. Another detail to thank Ella for she was sure. 

“Me too,” he nodded, the tips of his ears turning pink, “It’s my favorite… should we um…?,” he asked gesturing to the banquette.

“Oh, of course,” she nodded and they sat down. 

They were seated at the corner table, the most romantic one in the restaurant, and according to Northern Times, the most romantic one in the city. 

“So…,” she said, suddenly completely incapable of thinking of anything interesting to say. 

Love had a way of making a smart girl stupid.

***

"Do you really think this will work?," Robb asked her.

Ella rolled her eyes, "Are you starting to doubt me now?"

"Never," he said, pulling her to him, "I just know how stubborn they are..."

"Which is why our intervention was necessary,” she reasoned, running her hands over his sweater-clad chest. She wrapped her arms around him and laid her cheek over his heart and went on, “The good news is that they are as predictable as they are stubborn. In fact, I can tell you exactly how it's going to go.”

“Is that right?,” he asked with a grin, “Go on then.”

“First... they are going to to act as though they are angry with us because neither of them realises that the other one is just as head over heels for them..."

*

"I'm going to kill Robb and Ella," Jon grumbled.

"I think that's a little unfair," she scoffed and his eyes widened. He opened his mouth to protest, to tell her that he didn't mean that in a bad way about her, but she said, "There's no way Robb had the foresight to do this. Killing Ella will probably be sufficient."

He chuckled and nodded, "That's true. I'll forgive him, he knows not what he does."

She giggled wind chimes and then her face fell, "Do you... Well... I mean... I'd understand if you wanted to... I don't want to ruin your Friday evening..."

Ruin. You're cute.

How many times had he imagined asking her out? No more than the number of times that he’d chickened out. 

He’d been mad about her at least since she was thirteen years old. Before then he hadn’t quite realised why he always got sweaty around her and why her opinion seemed to matter so much. 

It had all changed on her thirteenth birthday. It was the first year she had a boy-girl party and he and Robb and Theon had all promised to attend. It was no skin off Robb’s nose who had already been dating Ella for a year at that point, having realised much earlier (at the age of eight during a terrible thunderstorm) that she was his beloved.  

They played spin the bottle and Sansa had spun first, she being the birthday girl. He had somehow been next to Joffrey, Ella’s horrible older brother, and the bottle had landed right in between them. It had been Joffrey who had taken the bottle and turned it towards himself before marching proudly over and planting a kiss on Sansa’s lips. 

She had been beet red but his knuckles had been white he was so angry. He realised then that he wasn’t just angry, he was jealous, and more than anything he was upset that it hadn’t been him. 

He’d pushed those feelings down, always coming up with some excuse or other not to pursue her. But now sitting next to her all of those excuses fell right out of his head.

"Well um... we're both here, right?," he suggested, "We have to eat... and I know how much you love their kale or whatever green thing is most popular this week."

"It's their brussel sprouts and they are iconic and timeless," she said haughtily.

"Well then," he said, picking up his menu with a flourish and earning that giggle again. 

*

"Okay, well that could last through dessert...," Robb reasoned. 

"Oh no," Ella said with a smile, "Because then we bring out the trump card..."

*

It became quite clear that in order for her to get through this date, alcohol would have to be involved.

They’d at least made it through the initial awkwardness, there was no icebreaker greater than how impossibly annoying their completely loving and totally wonderful best friends could be. 

And it wasn’t as though, once she had slowed her heart rate, that Jon was so difficult to talk to or anything. He wasn’t much one for small talk, but there was no need for small talk between them. She had always seemed to confide in him, all apart from one topic of course, because he was such a good listener. He really listened, thoughtfully, always nodding and never interrupting. He’d ask questions that made you know he was really thinking about what you were saying. 

Even still he smelled so good and he looked so good and he was sitting so very close to her that she was afraid if she didn’t have something to do with her hands she might just removed his hair from it’s bun and run her fingers through it. 

"There's this red wine here that I really like actually," Jon said, as though reading her mind. "If you wanted to split a bottle? Though if you'd prefer a lemon drop martini I can get something else..."

She told herself that it didn’t matter that he knew her favorite drink. If he was sitting with Arya or Robb or Ella he’d know what all of their favorite drinks were too. He just knew everything about her, the way you did with the people you knew your entire life. 

It didn’t mean anything, but she blushed all the same. 

"Wine sounds good," she nodded, "Which bottle is it?"

She picked up the wine list and because they were on a corner, it was very easy for him to lean in next to her. He really did smell so good and he'd trimmed his beard for tonight and she had the ridiculous urge to lick his neck.

"Fuck...Ella even told me it before I came... um...," he said scanning over the list.

"Pardon me," a voice said from above them and they looked to find a waiter proffering a bottle. "A bottle of The Wight 74, with compliments..."

"Is that-," she started.

"Yep," Jon confirmed with his eyes closed.

Sansa had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. He was so adorable when he was annoyed.

She remembered her thirteenth birthday. She had been upset when it had been Joffrey who she’d ended up kissing and had gone outside to get some fresh air and found him there. He was snippy with her and she’d gotten angry and then as though he couldn’t help it he just grabbed a small box out of his pocket and shoved it at her. It had been a necklace with a dragonfly on it and he’d been so surprised when she wanted to put it on immediately. She still had it and was surprised Ella hadn’t recommended she wear it.

"That wouldn't happen to be compliments of an Ella Stark, would it?," she asked.

The waiter smiled and, as though he'd been anticipating that question, said, "The party has asked to remain nameless to protect your unborn godchild."

"Unbo-," Jon said and then looked at her.

Tears pricked her eyes as she looked back. She knew that Ella and Robb had been trying for a few months but Robb hadn't said anything when she'd seen him earlier.

She started to laugh and so did Jon. There were tears in his eyes and she wiped the ones running down her cheeks. He pulled her to him and she sank into his embrace and she squealed and they both laughed. 

It was so wonderful to hear this news with him of all people who would love the baby just as much as her. It felt so right to be with him and it reminded her how no matter what, they would always be inextricably linked.

Just like Ella intended.

“May I?,” the waiter asked.

She’d forgotten he was there and she nodded, easing reluctantly out of Jon’s embrace. 

The waiter set about uncorking it and she couldn’t take it, she threw her arms around Jon’s neck, wiggling all the while. 

“I get to be Auntie Sansa!,” she giggled. Another little Stark to love. 

“Uncle Jon,” he mused, cupping the back of her head and pressing a kiss to her hair. 

He was going to be a wonderful uncle, of that she was sure. If the baby was a boy, he’d want to be just like his Uncle Jon - brave and gentle and strong - and if the baby was a little girl, he’d treat her like a princess, the way he’d always treated Ella. 

The way he’d always treated her. 

Their waiter poured them a glass each and made himself scarce. 

Jon picked up his and held it to her, “To our niece or nephew,” he said and she raised hers as well, “And their meddlesome parents.”

“And to you, Uncle Jon,” she said with a smile. 

“Auntie Sansa,” he said with a small shake of his head, his eyes on hers as their glasses touched. 

*

“Good work little one,” Robb said, kissing her stomach. 

She stroked his rich auburn curls and sighed happily. 

He leaned his cheek upon her stomach now, they were splayed out on their big bed, the baby making her tired already. 

“Tell me what happens next,” he said, as though this were a bedtime story that she’d soon tell their child. 

She closed her eyes and thought about the two people they loved the most and said with a lazy smile, “Next, Sansa will get giggly and Jon will get horny.”

“Ella!,” Robb complained. 

“You asked…,” she reminded him. 

***

“Oh my god,” she moaned and Jon made sure his napkin was well and truly covering his lap. 

The brussel sprouts had finally arrived along with tuna tartare and freshly baked bread. Everything was delicious, including the wine, and Sansa was very appreciative. 

“Seriously Jon,” she said, stabbing a sprout gently with her fork and raising it towards him, “You’ve got to try this.”

He accepted the bite and fought the urge to moan himself, chewing it and nodding at her. 

She giggled and raised her thumb to his lips, swiping across and gathering some excess sauce and bringing it to her own mouth.

She looked at him like she couldn’t believe that she’d done that and he knew that he was looking at her like he too couldn’t believe that she’d done that. More than anything though, he knew he was looking at her like he very much wanted her to do it again. 

Though he wouldn’t mind if next time she just kissed it off of him. In fact he’d go back into the kitchens right now and get a whole bottle of that sauce just so she could lick it off of him if that’s what she wanted. 

He shook himself out of it and raised his glass to his lips again. The wine wasn’t helping, it was a heady wine and it was making Sansa’s already perfect features all the more alluring. It was also making her more at ease, and when Sansa was at ease she was touchy. Which was exactly as wonderful and terrible as it sounded.

“So why?,” she asked him. 

“Why?,” he repeated dumbly. 

“Do you think they did this?,” she clarified. 

Maybe because I am hopelessly in love with you and they are completely aware of it. 

“Boredom?,” he offered instead, earning that giggle once again.

***

“Okay but this has been happening for years,” Robb reminded her, “I mean he has been in love with her for over a decade at least. She’s been in love with him for just as long. How many millions of opportunities have they had?”

“Too many,” she agreed and then smiled, “But that’s when the table does it’s magic…”

***

It was on the second bottle of wine that the banquette seemed to get smaller. Or perhaps the restaurant just got louder. 

Either way, she and Jon got closer. 

“I can’t eat anymore,” she told him as the waiter handed them their dessert menus. 

“You’re right,” he said with a grin, giving it a once over, and looking up at the waiter, “We’ll just have one of the lemon tarts, please.”

“You’re trouble, Jon Snow,” she said, taking another sip of wine. 

“You know Theon’s theory on that phrase…,” he said. 

Their plates had been cleared and he now rested one forearm on the table, and the other on the back of the banquette. She had found her way into the hollow of his arms and her legs were crossed towards him and their calves were touching and had been for some time. 

She blushed because she did know, but she traced the rim of her wine glass with her index finger and played dumb. 

“Theon has so many theories…,” she said, “I’m surprised you can remember them all.”

“Not all,” he told her, and his voice was low when he added, “But this one just got suddenly more interesting.”

He was playing with her, she was sure of it. Even still she liked that quality to his voice and even though she didn’t know the rules quite yet she began to like this game. 

“Go on then,” she said, looking up at him through lowered lashes. 

“Well,” he said, clearing his throat. “It’s… um… that…”

The tips of his ears had turned pink and his eyes were threatening to bug out of his head and she knew that he knew they were in uncharted territory. 

“I remember now,” she said and took a small sip of wine. 

He chuckled sheepishly and said, “Some of his theories are dumb.”

“Some,” she agreed, but not this one. 

He looked at her like he’d heard her say it. Like she’d shouted it at him. His eyes were trailing over her face like he was trying to see all of her at once and she realised in that moment that it wasn’t the first time he’d looked at her like that. 

She knew that Ella and Robb knew about her feelings for Jon. That was, after all, why they’d set this whole thing up. 

But she thought about Ella and Robb, the two people who loved her and knew her best in the world, and she thought that maybe they wouldn’t have done this if they didn’t at least think he might feel the same. 

“Why do you think they did this?,” she asked him again. 

***

“The more you talk about this, the more it kind of sounds like you are intending for them to end up in one of the restaurant bathrooms…,” Robb said with a shudder.

She giggled and shook her head, “Not their style. You… on the other hand…”

“That was one time,” he reasoned with her, his hand snaking up her stomach, over her breast, tracing her neck until he could cup her face, “And it was your fault.”

“What did I do?,” she asked him stubbornly. 

“You were you,” he told her sweetly, “When a guy like me is sitting next to the girl of his dreams and she, against all reason or sense, loves him back, there’s only one thing to do.”

“Exactly,” she said with a smile.

***

It was now or never. 

He had realised halfway through the first bottle of wine that Robb and Ella, the two most caring friends in the world, would never have put him in this situation if they didn’t at least have an inkling that Sansa may, or at least could, feel the way for him that he felt for her. 

He started to think so too during the second bottle of wine and she was so charming and lovely that he couldn’t help but move closer to her. 

She hadn’t seemed to mind that and so he’d gotten closer still, because it was the only thing to do when a girl like her let you. 

And then she’d said it. You’re trouble Jon Snow. 

According to Theon, when a girl said that it meant she’d already pictured sleeping with you. He usually disregarded Theon’s theories as utter crap, but this one… he would sorely like this one to be right. 

She was looking at him like it maybe was right and he panicked and backtracked but she hadn’t. Sansa Stark was many things but a coward wasn’t one of them. 

“Why do you think they did this?,” she asked again.

“Maybe they thought you deserved better than what you’ve gotten,” he told her.

It wasn’t cockiness that made him say it. There was no pride in being better than her exes.

“Is that what you think?,” she asked softly. 

“You know it is,” he said in a low voice, “How many times do I have to tell you that for you to know it to be true?”

He’d been there through every relationship. The tears and the betrayals, the cheating, even the one hitting. He’d seen it all and he always told her that she deserved better, that she deserved to be cherished and treated like the angel that she was. 

She never believed him though, maybe because he’d never shown her. 

“Maybe it’s you they were looking out for,” she mused, “After Ygritte and Val… maybe they thought you needed someone more…”

She trailed off as though she couldn’t think of any way that she was better than the girls he’d dated before. As though she wasn’t miles ahead of any other girl that could possibly have come before. As though she wasn’t the human embodiment of perfection.

“Kind?,” he asked her, “Thoughtful? Lovely in every conceivable way…?”

She looked at him with her wide blue eyes, a delicious blush rising on her cheeks. 

He lifted his arm that had been resting on the banquette and took his hand and brushed some silky hair off of her face and tucked it behind her ear.

“Jon,” she said and he stopped as though cold water had been splashed on him. 

He had been about to lean in, but he must have been imagining it. He must have misread it. Of course he had. How could a girl like her ever want him? 

“Yeah?,” he managed to ask. 

She let out a shaky breath and asked, “Do you remember my thirteenth birthday party?”

***

“So just like that, huh?,” Robb asked. “After years of wanting one another, they’ll just give in, all because of a booth?”

“Not because of a booth,” she shook her head, “Because they know us. When they stop doubting themselves they’ll realise that we would never do this unless we knew they were both all in.” 

“Where were you a decade ago?,” he asked her. 

“Right here, by their side,” she said, “Hoping they’d stop being idiots long enough to see the most obvious truth of them all.”

***

She was an idiot and she’d ruined it. 

He had been looking at her like he might kiss her and then she’d just ruined it. 

Jon placed his arm back on the banquette and moved the other to reach for the bottle of wine. He poured the last drops into her glass and his and then looked at her. 

He went to set it back down on the table, but instead of putting it standing upright he’d laid it on it’s side and turned it, definitively, and beautifully, towards her. 

“It’s twelve years too late,” he said, “And my palms are still sweaty but I love you even more now than I did then. Happy birthday, Sansa Stark.”

And just like that he kissed her. He kissed her and she was thirteen again. Nothing bad had ever happened to her. She had never been cheated on, no boy had ever yelled at her, there was certainly no boy who had ever hit her. He kissed her and it was like she was pure and unsullied once again. 

And he loved her. 

She kissed him back, because she loved him too. She’d loved him at her boy-girl party and during every relationship that followed. She’d loved him at Robb and Ella’s wedding when he’d walked right over to her while she was standing with Ramsay. They’d been fighting about something because he was ruining what was meant to be a wonderful day and Jon had taken her hand, and said, “Sorry mate, it’s tradition,” because he’d been the best man and she’d been the maid of honor but he hadn’t seemed sorry at all. 

And he’d held her so gently and said, “Why are you doing this to yourself again, Dovey?”

And she’d said, “I don’t want to talk about it. Just dance with me a bit longer, won’t you?”

“I’ll dance with you all night,” he promised, “If it keeps you out of his reach.”

“You can’t do this,” she broke away and his eyes were as black as midnight and he moved to get away from her but she held him close, close enough that no one else could reach her. “If it’s not forever. I won’t…”

“It’s already been always,” he told her, “And it’ll be forever too. Just love me back, Dovey, because you own me. I’ll love you either way but it’ll make forever so much better if you just love me back.”

“I’ve never had much choice when it comes to loving you,” she confessed, “No choice at all. I just do. I always have and I always will. I love you Jon Elliot Snow.”

He kissed her again, and she was no longer thirteen, she was twenty five, and though it might have been twelve years too late, it was all the sweeter knowing that she’d never have to live without it again. 

***

They must have fallen asleep before she finished the story, because it was light outside when her eyes opened. 

She was alone in bed, well Grey Wind was there but Robb was gone, and she rose and brushed her teeth, slipping on her slippers before padding into the kitchen. 

“Morning sweetheart,” Robb said from the stove where he was making pancakes. 

“What time is it?,” she asked, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade on her way to get a glass of water. 

“Almost ten,” he said and she heard his grin when he said, “Mom thinks that means it’s a boy.”

They’d only told his parents so far. Well, now Jon and Sansa knew too but no one else. She got emotional every time she thought about her goodparents’ reaction to the news and she went and hugged him from behind. 

“And if it isn’t?,” she asked softly. 

She knew he wanted a boy. He wanted many children but he wanted a boy first. 

“Then our daughter will be another beauty, just like her mother, and I will love her more than life itself, just like I do her mother,” he promised her.

She turned him around and stood on her tiptoes so that she could kiss him. She loved him so madly, and the way he loved her was her favorite thing about herself. 

It was the only reason why she’d done what she did, so that Jon and Sansa could know the happiness that she and Robb had been lucky to have for so long. 

“Do you think we should call them?,” she asked with a hopeful smile. 

“What if you were wrong?,” he asked her. She fixed him with a look and he grinned, “Let’s call Sansa first.”

She grabbed her phone and dialled the familiar number. She answered after two rings.

“YOU’RE PREGNANT!,” Sansa squealed. 

“WE’RE PREGNANT!,” they yelled back. 

“What do you say, Auntie Sansa?,” she asked, “Can we count on you as godmother?”

“Of course you can!,” Sansa giggled, “I can’t wait to hug you both, right after I MURDER you!”

Ella felt fear for the first time in this whole thing and she said slowly, “Did… did it not go well?”

“Jon they want to know how our date went,” she heard Sansa say and Ella screamed bloody murder. 

“Terribly,” Jon said sleepily.

“By the gods,” Robb grumbled as she jumped up and down. 

“Terribly is it?,” Sansa asked flirtatiously and she could practically see her pout. 

“Yep,” Jon said with a smile in his voice, “Think I’ll have to take you out again tonight just to make up for it.”

“Come to dinner at our place,” Ella offered, “We can celebrate.”

“Baby or relationship?,” Robb asked. 

“Both, everything! I don’t care just will you come over tonight please? You’ll forgive me for meddling, won’t you?,” she asked. 

“You?,” Sansa scoffed, “We had this pegged as being all Robb’s idea…”

“Finally someone recognises my genius,” Robb said as though long suffering. 

They all said their goodbyes and hung up with promises of dinner later and she hopped up on the counter as Robb handed her a plate of pancakes and a fork. 

She hummed to herself as she bit into one and he ate his own with a small smile on his face. 

“You’re already planning their wedding, aren’t you?,” he asked her. 

“It’ll be in June,” she nodded, “It’s Sansa’s favorite month… you’ll wear a kilt. Don’t worry, you’ll look great.”

“Ella…,” he warned. 

“I just want Sansa to be loved the way you love me. And I want Jon to be loved the way I love you. Is that so terrible?,” she asked him. 

“No, sweetheart,” he said, “Like everything about you, that is absolutely perfect.”

***

“You know Ella will have us married off come Winter, don’t you?,” she asked Jon as he pulled her to his chest. 

“Fine by me,” he said, his fingers trailing her naked back, “Though I thought you’d want to get married in June.”

“What makes you say that?,” she asked.

“It’s your favorite month,” he reminded her. 

“I meant…,” she trailed off, not wanting to ruin the perfection of the evening and the morning by saying anything stupid.

“I know what you meant,” he said, tilting her chin up so she had to look at him, “And I’m telling you I’ll marry you any month, any day, any hour that you want. I’ll marry you in front of 500 people or in a court house with just Robb and Ella as witnesses. What did you think I meant by forever, Sansa?”

“June sounds good,” she said with a smile, “What will we do until then?”

“Oh, I’m not worried,” he said with a devilish grin, rolling them over so he was on top of her, “We’ll think of something…”

“Forever,” she mused, as he kissed down her neck to her breasts, “That’s a lot of somethings…”

He looked up at her and grinned roguishly, “Shall we begin?”

[forzalando]

Give Me A Chance - George Weasley

HI HELLO HELLO this is a George request from the lovely, wonderful, beautiful Rosie ( @thephelpstwins )!! I hope you like it AHHHH :)) i love you so, so much!! 

@thoseofgreatambition I hope you like this as well, thank you for getting excited about it with meeee :)

Request: marissa!!! “give me a chance” + “i’m so in love with you” with george ??? maybe the reader thinks he isn't serious bc of the twins reputation as jokers idk ??? you're the queen of writing here so i trust your judgement my love!!!

Pairing: George Weasley x Gryffindor f!Reader

Warnings: language ha ha ha sorry I have the mouth of a sailor, mentions of d*ath (Harry’s parents), dark humor joke, alluding to sex

Y/N: Your Name

Word Count: 1.8k

For the third time that week, George Weasley was kneeling in front of you with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. This time, however, he was reciting some cheesy poem that you were sure he bribed his sister to write.

“Oh, Y/N, I long for your kiss, If Voldemort kills us all, You’re the only lass I will miss,

Please, accept these flowers, My heart burns and yearns for you, I think of you every minute of the hour, I can’t believe you don’t feel it too,

Just give me a chance, You won’t regret it one bit, I swear on Fred’s life, I’m really not an insufferable git!”

You rolled your eyes dramatically, and walked away without acknowledging George, leaving Fred in fits of laughter and a frown on George’s face.

He didn’t know what to do about you; he had tried subtle, he had tried playing hard to get, he had tried making you jealous, and none of it had worked. Now, he was resorting to the lowest of lows; embarrassing public displays of affection.

It was definitely not his first choice to get your attention, but he was all out of options and didn’t know what else to do. He thought it was funny, to be honest, and enjoyed writing stupid love poems or picking flowers for you.

You, on the other hand, were completely mortified because of his poem. If Voldemort kills us all, you’re the only lass I will miss? If there was one thing George Weasley was not, it was tasteful.

The entire day, people were teasing you about George’s ‘poetic and romantic’ gesture; all you could think about during your last class was hiding in your dorm for the rest of your life. When Charms was over, you practically ran all the way to the Gryffindor common room.

When you reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, she giggled and raised her eyebrows at you.

“Sherbet Lemon,” you grumbled, eager to crawl under your thick blankets and never face the world again.

“Oh, no, I have strict instructions not to let you into the dorms yet!”

“You can’t ban me from my room! Who told you I can’t go inside?!”

“I think you know, however, if you need a hint, he has red hair.”

You let a frustrated scream erupt from your throat, and turned around, only to come face to face with George Weasley. He opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.

“George Weasley you tell that woman to un-ban me from the common room this instant or I swear to Godric, I will NEVER speak to you again!”

“You already don’t speak to me, so I don’t have anything to lose, now do I?”

You blinked rapidly at his words, realizing you really didn’t have anything to threaten him with.

It wasn’t that you hated George, very far from it in fact, but you stayed away from him in order to protect your heart. You had spent the last year or so falling harder and harder for him just by observing from a distance, and you flinched when you thought of how you would feel if you let yourself get close. He had stolen your heart without even trying, and that thought scared you to death.

“Please, Y/N, just one date. That’s all I’m asking for and if you hate me even more afterwards, then I’ll give up on you. All I’m asking for is one chance.”

“I won’t give you a chance to break my heart George, it’s not going to happen. So, I would greatly appreciate it if you would stop embarrassing me in public with your silly antics.”

“Break your heart? I don’t want to break your heart, Y/N, I would never do that.”

“Well if that’s not the reason you’ve been chasing after me for the past week, then you must have a bet with Fred or Lee. Am I a bet to you, George?”

“A week? Y/N, I’ve been trying to get you to go out with me for damn near four months!”

Suddenly, you recalled all the times George had cheekily complimented you on your hair or your eyes. You remembered how whenever you entered the common room, he seemed to pay extra attention to Alicia, Angelina, or whichever girl was nearest to him. You thought of the two weeks he didn’t speak to you at all, which had bothered you so much more than you would ever admit out loud.

“That was you trying to flirt with me? Or get my attention? George…you went from too subtle to being positively annoying! I thought you were teasing me or trying to make a fool out of me!”

“Well, I thought the grand gestures would work, I mean, Harry told me his Dad did stuff like that for his Mum and look where they ended up!”

You raised your eyebrows and your mouth opened in shock, while George’s face turned as red as his hair due to how his comment could be interpreted.

“Oh, fucking hell, I didn’t mean dead, I meant married, don’t look at me like that!”

Your laughter echoed through the halls with George soon joining in. The two of you were doubled over and clutching your stomachs with one hand and wiping tears with the other. However, all of a sudden, George stopped laughing and started staring at you while smiling.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever made you laugh! I finally made you laugh and now I can die happy.”

“I laugh at all of your jokes and pranks, George, I just hide it well.”

The lighthearted atmosphere disappeared, and George sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“What did I do to make you hate me, Y/N?”

“Oh, George, I don’t hate you. I…well, what I feel for you…it’s far from hate, and I’ll just leave it at that.”

“Then why won’t you go out with me?”

“It’s our last year at Hogwarts, and we only have a little over a month left. When we graduate, you’ll start your joke shop with Fred, and I’ll start my training to be a healer at St. Mungo’s. I won’t let myself fall for you anymore than I already have only for our relationship to end before it can even really begin.”

George stared at you with wide eyes, blinking rapidly as he tried to process your words. His heart felt like it had dropped to the bottom of his stomach; and he couldn’t believe that you weren’t going to give him a chance because you were simply afraid.

“You don’t get it, do you? Godric, Y/N, I’m so in love with you. You’re always on my mind. Even when I’m asleep, I dream of you. My amortentia smells like your shampoo! I’ve been asking you for one date, but I want that to turn into so much more. I wouldn’t leave you or neglect you after graduation.”

“You can say that but it doesn’t mean you’ll follow through!”

“Are you really going to spend the rest of your life refusing to take a chance because of your fears? That’s an awful way to live, Y/N, and if that’s what you decide then I feel sorry for you. I would never hurt you, or abandon you, and if you’ll let me, I will love you for the rest of your life.”

“You’re barely eighteen, are you sure you should be making promises like that?”

“Y/N, there are two things I am sure of in life: one, Fred and I are going to own the most fantastic joke shop the Wizarding World has ever seen, and two, I love you so much it’s impossible for me to ever stop.”

“Okay.”

“Okay, what? Are you saying okay to the date or to me loving you forever?”

“I’m saying okay to all of it. I want all of it, I want all of you, George.”

“All of me, eh?”

“You prat, why can’t you just let us have our first moment? Why did you have to go and say something like that?”

“You’re grinning like a Cheshire cat; I know you’re not really mad.”

You promptly realized that you were, in fact, smiling like an idiot, and that all of the portraits around you two were watching with wide eyes.

“George, the portraits are staring at us.”

“I suspect they’re waiting for me to kiss you or something crazy like that.”

“Well, then, give the audience what they want, don’t keep them waiting any longer!”

“Maybe I should make them wait, they’ve been ignoring me for months because they were afraid I would break their heart.”

You pouted as you realized he was speaking about you, and a large, toothy grin spread across George’s face.

His smile was the last thing you saw before he pulled you into him and crashed his lips to yours in a breathtaking kiss. He pulled away and shot you a mischievous wink while softly tugging on your lower lip.

“Sorry, love, I had to. Honestly, it would have been torturous for me to wait to kiss you now that I can.”

“You obviously underestimate just how much I want you, but that’s a conversation for another time, preferably late at night, with much less clothing on.”

George’s jaw went slack, and a gasp of shock left his swollen, pink lips.

“Sherbet lemon,” you whispered softly.

The Fat Lady finally opened the portrait, and you dashed inside, leaving a speechless George Weasley pondering your words for a fraction of a second.

He raced in after you, only to find you halfway up the steps to the girl’s dormitory.

“You’re insufferable,” he shouted after you. “But, what about our date? Where are we going? What are we doing? Can I do you? I mean that can wait, but at this moment it’s kind of the only thing running through my mind.”

You chuckled and turned around to see a giddy smile adorning George’s handsome face and a delicate blush coating the apples of his cheeks.

“Hmm, meet me outside the Great Hall on Saturday at noon. Impress me with your date planning abilities, George Weasley, I want to be surprised.”

“Y/N, prepare to be utterly amazed. I will make you fall in love with me because of my incredible date planning skills.”

“I’m already in love with you, idiot.”

George dramatically blew you a kiss, and you giggled at the massive smile on his face.

You watched him head up the stairs to the boy’s dorm and smiled at the way your heart hammered in your chest because of him. It was very, very rare for you to take chances, and when you did, you always regretted it. But you knew in your heart, your mind, and your soul, that George Weasley was the one thing in your life you would never, ever regret.

[aion-rsa]

The Best TV Episodes of 2020

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Sometimes it feels like there’s not much of a distinction left between “television” and everything else. As major media conglomerates hold investor presentations in which they present their upcoming streaming wares as “multiple-hour movies,” how is a beleaguered television fanbase supposed to distinguish TV shows from the dreaded, amorphous concept of “content”?

By episodes, of course! Episodes are one of the last remaining hallmarks of what makes the entity known as television distinct. Though we largely watch all our entertainment on the same kinds of screens nowadays, it’s television that lays claim to distinct episodes and distinct seasons as part of their larger gestalt. The Best TV Shows of 2020 deserve our commendation (and they will receive it very soon), but so too these smaller stories and pieces within them. The Best TV Episodes of 2020 are just as important to our appreciation of the medium and its long-term health.

Gathered here are 25 of Den of Geek’s favorite episodes of television in 2020. Voted on by our contributors, and arranged in alphabetical order, these are the half-hours, hours, and more that inspired and thrilled us in this most challenging year.

Better Call Saul – “Bagman”

In a season packed with memorable moments and 5-star episodes, Better Call Saul’s “Bagman” takes the cake as season 5’s finest hour and one of the absolute best episodes of television of 2020. Directly recalling Breaking Bad’s season 2 highlight “Four Days Out,” returning director and Breaking Bad auteur Vince Gilligan pulls out his old playbook and pumps “Bagman” up with high-octane shootouts, tense face-to-face showdowns, and his penchant for dark comedy. 

As notable as it is to restage and one-up “Four Days Out,” “Bagman” also finally bridges the gap between Jimmy McGill’s new “friend of the cartel” world and that of his straight and narrow girlfriend Kim’s, a moment Better Call Saul fans have been anticipating and dreading with equal measure. Seeing Kim interact with Lalo, perhaps the best villain yet in the Breaking Bad/BCS universe, is a trip. Between Lalo’s cackling over the news of the burnt down Los Pollos Hermanos, surprise at Kim being “Mrs. Goodman,” and his lack of concern for “la cucaracha,” Lalo is a pure delight, even when he’s being stomach-churningly awful. 

A desert twist on The Sopranos’ “Pine Barrens,” “Bagman” is a thrilling, highly consequential installment that is as equally introspective as it is explosive. I tend to bristle at episodes that so clearly ape Breaking Bad’s style and rhythms, but with Vince Gilligan at the helm, “Bagman” is purely undeniable. This is the moment that the show’s separate storylines began collapsing in on each other and truly feels like the beginning of the end for Better Call Saul. 

– Nick Harley

BoJack Horseman – “The View From Halfway Down”

BoJack Horseman was never going to actually kill off its titular horseman. Though the depressive former ‘90s sitcom actor had been courting death for much of the series with addictions to booze, pills, and self-loathing, the show was always destined to end with him giving things another shot – again and again and again. That’s the point. It never ends. You’re stuck with yourself, flaws and all, and you’ve just gotta keep trying. BoJack indeed gets his umpteenth chance to start over in the series elegiac series finale, “Nice While It Lasted.” Before that, however, the show’s penultimate episode gets to vividly imagine what the end would look like for BoJack Horseman, and it makes for one of the series’ best episodes ever.

“The View From Halfway Down” picks up with BoJack drunk and at the bottom of a pool, slowly drowning. Meanwhile his consciousness takes a trip to a gaudy mansion where he enjoys dinner and a show with all the dead people he knows. Sarah Lynn, Corduroy, Crackerjack, Herb Kazzaz, and Beatrice are all there to enjoy their last meals (a single lemon for Corduroy, hospital food for Beatrice, and a pile of pills for BoJack) and then have one final sendoff before entering the infinite. This is where BoJack’s father, Butterscotch (incognito as BoJack’s hero Secretariat) turns up and delivers one of the most startling, affecting poems in TV history: “The View From Halfway Down.”

Near-death experience episodes are not uncommon on television (none other than The Sopranos may have had the definitive version with season 6’s “Join the Club”) but “The View From Halfway Down” somehow injects life (or rather dripping sludge of black death) into the stale  concept. This might not be the final episode of BoJack Horseman, but it’s likely to be the one most people remember. It’s a discomfiting exploration of ego death…and death-death. 

– Alec Bojalad

The Boys – “What I Know”

The Boys season 2 had its ups and downs, and a couple of episodes early on felt very low on action, but in the end, Amazon’s ultraviolent hit series managed to build towards a sophomore season finale that was so goddamn satisfying it felt almost illegal.

In “What I Know”, Karl Urban’s Bill Butcher finally faces off against Homelander and escapes with his life, while paying a devastating price. Hughie finds a way to drag himself up from a pit of despair and start a real relationship with Starlight. Kimiko and Frenchie get closer by working through their trauma together. Mother’s Milk is reunited with his family. And Stormfront? Well, that Nazi bitch gets what she deserved.

In fact, “What I Know” wrapped up most of The Boys’ ongoing plotlines so tidily you’d be forgiven for thinking that the action-packed episode was a series finale, not a season finale. Of course, The Boys had one final twist in store, but even if “What I Know” had been the last we’d seen of the show, it would have been just about enough to keep any anguish at bay. TV writers should study “What I Know” for future reference, cuz that’s how you do a season finale. 

– Kirsten Howard

Dark – “Life and Death”

Since Dark knew that it was ending in its third season, there were plenty of mind-blowing episodes leading to a very poignant finale, but one episode that stood out was episode 305, “Life and Death.” This was not an episode that directly explored the deeper time travel mythology of the show nor did it feature the characters that were normally center stage. Instead, it shocked us with two acts of brutality by minor characters.

One involved the discoveries of Katharina, the much maligned wife, daughter, and mother who conducted a solo journey through time in search of her husband, Ulrich. The violence between Katharina and her mother provides surprising insights despite its unexpectedness. Meanwhile, another brutal act in the apocalypse of 2020 sheds light on how young Elisabeth evolved into a hardened warrior of the future. 

– Michael Ahr

Dave – “Hype Man”

FX’s Dave was a bit of an odd duck from the get-go. Developed by and starring real life rapper Dave “Lil Dicky” Burd, Dave sought to encapsulate the strange contradictions of its title character. Dave is a comedy rapper…but he’s also kind of sincere? Dave is probably kidding about his malformed penis and all the trauma it’s caused him…but he’s also not? Dave is Lil Dickey…but he’s really just Dave? It was a tall order for a novice storyteller to work through, even with the help of Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Jeff Shaffer as showrunner.

But roughly halfway through its 10 episode-run, Dave…and Dave figure themselves out and start to string together a series of truly quality episodes. The turn starts with “Hype Man,” the show’s fifth installment and perhaps its best. “Hype Man” follows Lil Dicky’s real life (and also fictional) friend GaTa. After Dave makes the decision to install GaTa as his hype man, viewers are entreated to bits of GaTa’s past where his untreated bipolar disorder leads to public disruptions and even a heartbreaking moment with his mother while tied to a hospital bed. In the present, GaTa can’t quite figure his new dosage of meds out and it leads to a decidedly less-than-hyped hype man.

That’s when GaTa reveals his diagnosis to his new friends. As the tears stream down GaTa’s face and as his new crew gracefully accepts him, just as he is, it’s clear that it’s a cathartic moment for all involved that goes well beyond just the confines of television. 

– Alec Bojalad

Devs – “Episode 8”

Perhaps no show in 2020 was as beguiling or intriguing as sci-fi maestro Alex Garland’s first TV effort Devs. From its first episode which featured a mysterious murder and the introduction of an awe-inspiring machine, Devs promised a truculent sci-fi television experience. Of course, as is often the case with these things, the impact of the show hinged on how it chose to wrap up the story of Amaya’s secretive Devs program. 

That ending, in “Episode 8”, succeeds because it knows the precisely correct ratio of answers to non-answers it needs to provide. This finale deftly articulates the show’s vision of determinism and leaves open the question of just how much of our fate resides in our own hands. It’s also downright Biblical at times with striking imagery, allusions to Christ, and even something resembling an afterlife. 

Above all else, it provides one of the most charming bits of title trickery on television this year. “I’ll tell you a secret, Lily,” Forest (Nick Offerman) says to his fated counterpart. “I’ve been wanting to tell someone for awhile. The name of the project is not Devs. The ‘v’ is Roman…so actually a ‘u’.” Deus. Lily can only laugh – another tech CEO who thinks he’s God. It’s just that…this one happens to be right.  

– Alec Bojalad

Doctor Who – “The Haunting of Villa Diodati”

“The Haunting of Villa Diodati” isn’t the only example of Doctor Who taking on the haunted house genre, but it may be its best. In this season 12 episode, the science fiction series pays homage to the arguable birthplace of the sci-fi genre: the Swiss villa where Mary Shelley was inspired to write Frankenstein. There, the Thirteenth Doctor (Jodie Whittaker) and her fam meet Mary, baby William, Lord Byron, John Polidori, Claire Clairmont, valet Fletcher, and a missing Percy Shelley. With such a large guest cast, you’d think it would be hard to get three Companions in on the action, but first-time Doctor Who scriptwriter Maxine Alderton manages to do so, making good use of Ryan (Tosin Cole), Graham (Bradley Walsh), and Yaz (Mandip Gillip) especially, as the group gets split up while investigating the very real ghosts that seem to be haunting the villa.

With its literary in-jokes and honest-to-goodness scares, “The Haunting of Villa Diodati” would have easily been one of the highlights of season 12 if it was simply a standalone mystery. That it all ends with a third-act Cybermen twist that ties the episode to Doctor Who legacy and kickstarts the high-stakes, season-ending plot raises this installment from “good” to “great.”

– Kayti Burt

The Good Place – “Whenever You’re Ready”

Between BoJack Horseman’s “The View From Halfway Down” and The Good Place’s series finale, “Whenever You’re Ready,” it was a banner year for half-hour comedies addressing cosmic oblivion in 2020. While BoJack’s exploration of death is dark and spooky, The Good Place’s interpretation is one almost of celebration – a reward for a life, and many afterlives well-lived.

However one feels about The Good Place series finale, it’s hard to argue that the concept at its core isn’t ingenious. Our human protagonists Eleanor, Chidi, Jason, and Tahani, alongside their otherworldly friends Michael and Janet, spend almost a literal eternity grappling with the inequity of the afterlife’s rewards system. Then, in the final stretch of the show’s last season, the gang fixes the system once and for all and arrives at the actual Good Place. There’s only one problem: the occupants of The Good Place are shambling emotionless zombies whose dopamine receptors have been reduced to mush from eons of wish fulfillment and immediate satisfaction. That’s when Eleanor and Michael realize the afterlife’s missing piece: death. 

This is not only a fascinating philosophical concept but it sets up a finale filled with goodbyes that all these characters so richly deserve. One by one our heroes decide when they’re ready, and then step through a door to enter the unknown. And of course it all culminates in what might be the best sitcom sign-offs ever from Ted Danson’s Michael: “I’ll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe: Take it sleazy.”

 – Alec Bojalad

The Haunting of Bly Manor – “The Altar of the Dead”

Perhaps the only thing harder than pulling off an honest-to-goodness serialized horror TV show is doing so twice. But that’s exactly what Mike Flanagan was able to pull off this year with his Netflix followup to The Haunting of Hill House. Like Hill House before it, Bly Manor is based on the works of a classic ghost story writer, in this case Henry James. Unlike Hill House, however, Bly Manor takes a few episodes to really find its rhythm. 

Once it does, though, there’s virtually no stopping it. And it’s all thanks to midseason installment “The Altar of the Dead.” It’s clear from moment one that something is off with Bly Manor’s housekeeper Hannah Grose (T’Nia Miller). This is the episode that finally begins to fill in some of the blanks in her story, and subsequently the story of the rest of the house. Much like Billy Pilgrim before her, Miss Grose has become unstuck in time. As Hannah jumps back and forth between her history at Bly Manor, the sinister nature of the property becomes clear. Through Grose’s eyes, we’re treated to the courtship of Rebecca Jessel and Peter Quint. Then we’re taken through all the way to Peter Quint’s death, subsequent possession of Miles, and Hannah’s eventual murder. 

It’s not just that “The Altar of the Dead” clarifies the plot of The Haunting of Bly Manor so much that it damn near reveals all of it. And the show is all the better for it. Every episode after “Altar” is able to move forward with a confidence and assuredness that can come only after a masterfully executed setup. It’s all perfectly splendid. 

– Alec Bojalad

How To with John Wilson – “How To Cook the Perfect Risotto”

How To With John Wilson’s charms come from the ways that the titular socially awkward documentarian highlights the surreal, funny, perplexing little moments that so frequently occur in public spaces. However, that surreality is turned up to 11 in “How to Cook the Perfect Risotto” as we watch the coronavirus pandemic slowly transform New York City from a bustling, odd metropolis full of characters that are more than willing to invite a complete stranger into their home for a cooking lesson, into a quiet ghost town filmed from the safety of Wilson’s apartment.

Wilson attempts to make his elderly landlord the perfect risotto as a way of thanking her for her kindness, which includes doing Wilson’s laundry, watching Jeopardy with him and delivering him delicious meals. Simultaneously as he’s trying to quit smoking, Wilson is comically frustrated by the endless variables that cause his risotto to not quite live up to his lofty expectations. As he tries to improve his cooking and keep his sanity during nicotine withdrawal, COVID-19 hits the city and causes Wilson’s perspective to completely change. It’s relatable, poignant stuff that sneaks up on you and offers a look at what life has been like in this pandemic in a way that no other piece of art has yet to capture. 

– Nick Harley

I May Destroy You – “Ego Death”

‘Ego Death’ was a transcendent half hour. The conclusion to Michaela Coel’s autobiographically inspired drama about surviving sexual assault, it was as probing and inventive as the rest of I May Destroy You. 

In the episode, Coel offered viewers three alternative endings. Her character Bella played out fantasy confrontations with the man who, a year earlier, had drugged and attacked her. One is a kickass heist riffing on movie sisterhood and rape revenge. Another is an anti-climax that offers scant closure. Another is gentle, romantic and utterly disorienting. Allowing for multiple interpretations and perspectives, they all happened, and none of them happened. 

The climax comes with Bella’s realization that her trauma wouldn’t leave her unless she made it leave. The finale ends with a growing garden, a book reading and an inhalation of breath. With dogged commitment to honesty and no easy answers, it achieved in 30 minutes what some dramas struggle to say in a whole season.

 – Louisa Mellor

Killing Eve – “Are You From Pinner?”

Killing Eve has been celebrated for its depiction of the cat and mouse game between its star characters Eve, the former MI6 agent played by Sandra Oh, and Villanelle, the assassin played by Jodie Comer who shares with Eve a mutual obsession. Season 3 experimented with different points of view and delved deeper into the mystery of The Twelve, but it was the backstory of Villanelle (formerly Oksana) in episode 5, “Are You from Pinner?” which really showcased Comer’s depth and the character’s complexity.

The beauty of the episode was the way it lulled the audience into a sense of comfort. Here was Oksana’s long lost family, and they seemed to be happy, fun-loving people who might even welcome their damaged prodigal daughter home. However, even after a joyous carnival, it becomes clear that her mother’s abandonment hides a deeper secret, and the resulting violence and moments of mercy heighten sympathy for the assassin like no episode before or since.

 – Michael Ahr

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts – “Real Cats Wear Plaid”

That title alone would earn this episode a spot on the list but its story is even better! “Real Cats Wear Plaid” is the perfect combination of everything that makes Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts so unique and wonderful. There are giant cats who not only wear plaid, they carry axes, have giant yarn balls in their trees, sing ramblin’ folk songs, and love eating pancakes. Kipo has to find their leader named Yumyan Hammerpaw, whose namesake song is easily one of the best in the series, to get the cats’ help.

Watching Kipo not only break her friends free from the cats but slowly win over their trust gives us a good look at how she’ll overcome a lot of obstacles throughout the series. She doesn’t go with the simple solution; she uses her brain and her desire to make friends to win the day. Throw in some absolutely gorgeous visuals and you’ve got a warm, comforting, and totally unique piece of television that only this show could pull off. It’ll make a die-hard Kipo fan out of you, guaranteed. 

– Shamus Kelley

Legends of Tomorrow – “The One Where We’re Trapped on TV”

“The One Where We’re Trapped on TV” was the high point of a season full of them for Legends of Tomorrow, showcasing everything this series is capable of. We got three note-perfect parodies of shows – Star Trek, Friends, and the funniest one, Downton Abbey –  with wildly divergent tones; A+ workplace comedy and lightning fast plot propulsion; and a cast (especially Caity Lotz and Dominic Purcell summarizing and savaging The Wrath of Khan in 35 seconds, and Matt Ryan beautifully jamming parodies of four different Downton characters into one bit) visibly having the time of their lives. All of that was mixed in with serious, genuine, character growth and emotion. 

It’s amazing that Legends went from a forgettable side jaunt in the Arrowverse to a stoner workplace time travel sitcom that culminated one season with a Voltron Tickle Me Elmo. Even more amazing is that Season 5 actually topped it, and “The One Where We’re Trapped on TV” was this season’s peak.

– Jim Dandy

Lovecraft Country – “Sundown”

Lovecraft Country was television’s most ambitious show in 2020. Playing with horror and science fiction tropes while mixing in history lessons and comparing the racism in 1950s American with the civil unrest of today, Lovecraft Country took bigger swings than Jackie Robinson clobbering an alien with his Louisville Slugger. Not every episode or moment of Lovecraft Country was successful, but premiere episode “Sundown” is one of the most self-assured, confident debuts of a series in recent memory, a mission statement that establishes characters and blazes through plot points that most shows would have spent a season laboring over.

Our hero Atticus “Tic” Freeman (Jonathan Majors) returns to Chicago to reunite with his Uncle George (Courtney B. Vance) and old crush Leti Lewis (Jurnee Smollett) to go off in search of his missing father Montrose (Michael Kenneth Williams) in Ardham, Massachusetts, a location similar to Arkham, which is prevalent in the stories of H.P. Lovecraft, the favorite author of both Tic and Montrose. In Ardham, the gang find horrors both fictional and painfully real. The hour-long episode feels like a miniature movie. Its best moment is a montage of the trio traveling through segregated America set to a James Baldwin monologue. It’s little touches like that that makes Lovecraft Country so unique, gripping, and grounded even with all of the supernatural elements on display.

 – Nick Harley

The Mandalorian – “The Jedi”

Chapter 13 of The Mandalorian was an unexpected midseason payoff for everyone wondering if the story of Din Djarin and “Baby Yoda” would pootle along for a good while longer without answering many questions or tying their adventure into any past Star Wars mythology. This installment threw one game-changing piece of info after another at viewers.

We learned that the adorable green sprog had an actual name (Grogu), that he had been suffering from PTSD so severe that he mentally blocked out a lot of his past before being rescued by Mando, and that he would need to seek out a Jedi to train him to walk the path he might be destined for. Ah, and we also got to meet the live-action version of Ahsoka Tano, played by Rosario Dawson in a very deliberate and self-assured way. After we spent a few minutes with Ahsoka, it was clear that Lucasfilm still had bigger plans for her character beyond The Mandalorian.

Putting aside the many other wonderful Western and samurai influences visually blessing “The Jedi”, the episode formed an important step toward a very different version of Grogu who may develop in future seasons, and as Tano infers, we might not like who he becomes if the darkness creeps in, which only strengthens the bond between Din and The Child, and our investment in the story itself. 

– Kirsten Howard

Mythic Quest – “A Dark Quiet Death”

Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet was one of 2020’s most pleasant surprises. Apple TV+’s comedy about a videogame studio running a successful MMORPG, worked for all the reasons one might assume. The core showrunning team of Rob McElhenney, Megan Ganz, and David Hornsby (all of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) had a solid handle on the show’s concept and characters, and they also clearly did their research on the videogame industry. 

Still, in addition to all of that “expected” stuff, Mythic Quest excels in pulling off concepts that viewers might not anticipate from a nine-episode, half-hour sitcom. The ultimate example is “A Dark Quiet Death,” a fascinating installment of television that falls halfway through the show’s first season. “A Dark Quiet Death” completely abandons the show’s main plotline and takes viewers back to the ‘90s where two game developers, played by Jake Johnson and Christin Milioti, meet, fall in love, and decide to build something together.

Soon, however, the two designers are confronted with questions about commerce vs. art and must figure out how many compromises they’re willing to make. In the process they lose themselves, each other, and the art itself. Mythic Quest eventually brings things back tenuously to the present to reveal that Ian Grimm and the Mythic Quest team now occupy the warehouse studio space they once did. Refreshingly there isn’t much of a lesson to be learned from this adjournment other than: all of this is very hard and you’ll want someone by your side to help…but even that’s pretty hard too. 

– Alec Bojalad

Outlander – “The Ballad of Roger Mac”

Outlander season 5’s long-awaited battle between the Regulators and Governor Tryon’s militia delivered the sudden and gut-punching loss of one of its fan-favorite characters, Duncan Lacroix’s Murtagh, and also did the impossible in the same episode – made viewers genuinely invested in whether the guitar-strumming Roger Mackenzie lived or died. Even if his past behavior hadn’t covered him in glory, no one wanted to see Bree’s beau go out at the noose-end of a redcoat’s rope.

But the real heart of the episode was the final scenes between Sam Heughan’s character, Jamie Fraser, who didn’t have much time to celebrate his 50th birthday, and his father figure Murtugh, a stubborn-but-loyal man that had saved him countless times since birth, as he unexpectedly passed the patriarchal torch on once and for all. As Jamie fell apart during “The Ballad of Roger Mac” so did we, and a standout episode in Outlander’s middling fifth season was forever etched on our memory. 

– Kirsten Howard

Pen15 – “Opening Night”

At its core, Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s brilliant coming-of-age comedy Pen15 is all about capturing feelings. This show, featuring Erskine and Konkle deftly embodying their middle school selves (all the while surrounded by actual middle schoolers), understands the feeling of your crush smiling at you, or the best sleepover ever, or the summer of infinite possibilities. Its season two finale “Opening Night,” is perhaps the best example of what the show does so well yet.

Much of “Opening Night” takes place after opening night of the school play, where Maya was the star and Anna was the tech queen. The girls and their families retire to a perfectly acceptable local Italian restaurant where Maya and Anna live out the copacabana scene from Goodfellas and just generally feel on top of the world. 

Of course, in adolescence, nothing gold can stay. While “Opening Night” captures the thrill of a “best night ever” it also subtly, devastatingly presents Anna having to deal with the reality of her parents’ incoming divorce and Maya being rejected by a boy once again. Pen15 draws much of its comedy from the novelty of its core duo experiencing every new life event as the Biggest Deal Ever (™).  “Opening Night” proves that that’s where the show draws its pathos from as well. 

– Alec Bojalad

The Queen’s Gambit – “End Game”

For being one of the best shows of 2020, not much happens in Netflix’s The Queen’s Gambit that could be considered surprising. True to Scott Frank’s limited series sports movie (or bildungsroman) format, chess prodigy Beth Harmon displays preternatural talent, suffers some setbacks, and then comes out on top again. What makes the show excellent, however, is in its execution of that formula. 

Nowhere is the show’s execution more acute and satisfying than it is in the finale, “End Game.” This final hour finds Beth finally heading to Moscow to take on her only real rival one final time. The outcome is never really in doubt, but the journey is a supremely satisfying one. There are no shortage of fist-pumping moments, from Beth winning the admiration of her chess idol, to all her friends jumping on the phone to pre-game her final match. It’s the final coda that lingers most pleasantly though. Now on top of the chess world, Beth heads outside to find several Russian citizens playing some exhibition matches. The challenge is over, the day is won, and now all that’s left to do is to keep playing. Not for anyone else but herself. 

– Alec Bojalad

Schitt’s Creek – “The Presidential Suite”

The sixth and final season of Schitt’s Creek had a lot of loose ends to tie. The saga of the Rose family, who lost everything but the town Johnny Rose bought for a joke took us on a redemptive journey, not just for them but for town as a whole. It would be easy for the sake of this list, then, to select “Happy Ending” the glorious, hyperbolic finale which includes David and Patrick’s wedding and Moira’s greatest ensemble yet as the best ep. Instead though, it’s this lower key episode from season we choose to celebrate for it’s pitch perfect mix of hope, humor and humanity. This is Alexis and Ted’s episode. While David and Patrick’s romance and nuptials dominate the later series of the show, in “The Presidential Suite” we see Alexis and Ted’s relationship come to a close.

Ted has been offered his dream job in the Galapagos Islands. Alexis’s career as a publicist is starting to take off. He’s travelled back to spend a long weekend with her but his plans got derailed due to some dodgy airline milk. So now the two have just one evening together, and it turns out it’ll be spent saying goodbye. In possibly the most devastating scene in the whole show the two have a private dinner at the Cafe Tropical, where they reflect on how the relationship has helped them both grow. It’s understated, it’s grown up and it’s deeply moving, with gravitas given to characters who are generally speaking not taken very seriously.  It’s perfect. Elsewhere in the ep, the second Rosebud motel is almost ready to open and the Roses and the Schitts are competing to christen the best room for the night, while Patrick’s spray tan results in photographic hilarity. There are plenty of great gags – Patrick’s face being one of them – but “Presidential Suite” belongs to Alexis and Ted.

 – Rosie Fletcher

Solar Opposites – “Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear”

“Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear” deserves a spot on our best-of list due to title trickery alone. The synopsis of Solar Opposites season 1’s penultimate episode reads “Terry, Korvo, Yumyulack, and Jesse team up to steal a bear from the zoo” but of course: precisely none of this happens. In reality Justin Roiland and Mike McMahan’s excellent animated comedy for Hulu plays a truly wonderful sleight of hand. 

The entirety of this episode takes place inside young alien Jesse’s bedroom terrarium where she has imprisoned dozens of shrunken human beings. The show picks up with the goings on “inside the wall” several times throughout the season, but this episode devotes the entirety of its running time to the stories of Tim, Cherie, and all the other people inside this shockingly complex political ecosystem. 

Perhaps the best thing any installment of television can do is to make us care deeply about something that we weren’t even aware of to begin with. And that’s the real strength of “Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear.” Though all of this is happening on a truly small scale, it’s hard not to get swept up in the drama of Tim’s fight against The Duke or perhaps even shed some tears at the loss of a very sweet mouse named Molly.

 – Alec Bojalad

Ted Lasso – “The Hope That Kills You”

Any sports fan can tell you that it is indeed “the hope that kills you”. Hope is one of the most dangerous things to have in any endeavor you truly care about. After all, how can expectations lead to anything other than disappointment? Defying expectations, however, is Apple TV+’s sports comedy, Ted Lasso, which builds up a lot of hope through its first nine episodes, and then delivers on that hope in a truly satisfying way for the finale. 

The Jason Sudeikis and Bill Lawrence-produced Ted Lasso has the sports movie beats down pat. American football coach Ted Lasso gets an English football coaching job through some truly ridiculous circumstances. His team, AFC Richmond, naturally struggles on the pitch but begin to flourish off of it thanks to the relentless optimism of their new gaffer. This remarkable finale is where the rubber finally meets the road. Can AFC Richmond win one game to avoid relegation and fulfill their coach’s hope in them? The answer, somewhat surprisingly, is no. 

But the real accomplishment of “The Hope That Kills You” is that it finds hope and victory in defeat all the same. 

– Alec Bojalad

The Umbrella Academy – “743”

The penultimate episode of The Umbrella Academy’s second season provided a hefty amount of buildup for the finale, but it was also distinguished by several major reveals and sacrifices, some of which have yet to be fully realized. In the space of a single episode, the apocalypse is averted (again), Hargreeves reveals his true nature (sort of), and the time travel cops of the Commission prepare for a war that perfectly sets up the finale.

The most poignant sacrifice is made by Ben as he explores the depths of Vanya’s mind to keep her from using her powers to start a third world war, but he was technically already dead and has taken a new form of sorts by the end of the season. But other sacrifices put this episode over the top, including the inevitable death of Kennedy and the destruction of the briefcase that could have taken Five and his family home.

– Michael Ahr

What We Do in the Shadows – “On the Run”

Imagine getting none other than Mark Hamill to guest star as a white-haired vampire named Jim upset about a rental agreement on your show. And then imagine not pursuing that rich vein of comedy in favor of having one of your other vampire characters don a “human” disguise and then hit the road merely to avoid paying off some bed and breakfast debts. Well you don’t have to imagine such a scenario if you’re the folks behind FX’s hilarious and brilliant What We Do in the Shadows. This TV adaptation of Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement’s classic mockumentary film remained as bold and experimental as ever in its second season. Nowhere was it bolder, however, than in the instantly iconic “On the Run.”

“On the Run” exploits one of the tried and true rules of comedic storytelling on television: give Matt Berry the ball and let him cook like LeBron James. Berry has the time of his life in this half hour as Laszlo flees his Staten Island home and heads into hiding in Pennsylvania as Jackie Daytona, normal human bartender. It’s just remarkable to watch Laszl…we mean Jackie Daytona have the time of his life as a pillar of the community and major booster of the local girls high school volleyball team. Of course, the piece de resistance, is everyone’s shocking inability to recognize him as an undead bloodsucker. Even Hamill’s Jim the Vampire doesn’t recognize his foe until Laszlo pulls the signature Jackie Daytona toothpick out of his mouth.

“On the Run” may be pound for pound the funniest episode of television to air this year and all we normal humans are better for having experienced it. 

– Alec Bojalad

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[firebirdsdaughter]

Oh, yeah!...

... How could I forget!

I’ve got my tea... (well, not that tea, not yet)... Time to rewatch the Zi-O 22 raw for rambles!

In no order:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don’t care, Kuro Woz.

In other news, Shiro Woz was actually weirdly tolerable this episode. I fully expect him to go back to being a manipulative bastard next week, though.

Oh god, I guess I have to get used to the guy, since we’re apparently keeping him. I still say bring back Woz.5. I loved him.

Even the suit actor is doing the head tilt.

I am now significantly more concerned about that shot in the opening of Sougo walking away from the other two...

When is Trinity coming out, again? The boys will have to be getting along by then...

Now, see, they’re alone, so Geiz is like ‘okay, I can admit to having feelings again.’

Well, I guess that question got answered by the end of the episode.

I think Junichiro wanted Sougo to deliver something, but Sougo got stuck in the mirror world (also some angel put the thing about Geiz freaking out when Sougo got pulled into the window on the TV Tropes Heartwarming page for Zi-O and I thank them so very, very much), so now he’s trying to get Geiz and Tsukuyomi to do it.

Geiz was gonna straight up henshin right in front of Junichiro if an enemy came out of the mirror, oh my god. XD

EVERYONE’S EXPRESSIONS IN THIS SCENE.

I just love how Geiz goes from ‘ready to fight it’ to ‘WTF?’ to ‘Oh yeah, he’s here’ to pretty much just checking out of the whole situation over the course of a minute or so.

Seriously, Gaku’s expressions in this scene were golden. Shirei’s, too.

I think that’s her name. I’m slowly learning their names but names are hard.

Geiz is like ‘you’re an idiot, fine, I’ll explain.’ I guess the reason is that their Rider Kicks have slightly different effects. I didn’t even think of that. Interesting.

Tsukuyomi is so frustrated by Geiz’s lack of self preservation and that is very valid of her.

Hm... Okay, so having given it some thought, I think part of Sougo’s muted reactions are that he’s one of those people who projects a cheery exterior all the time and bottles stuff up. So, like, when his ‘negative’ (so to speak--like sadness, pain, anger, all that stuff) emotions show even a little bit, it’s like the tip of the iceberg. Which isn’t healthy, but it’s a possible explanation. I still wish they had made him react even a little more at the end, but that’s just my opinion.

Geiz just freaking teleported to the door there.

Geiz feels bad bc he actually considered going through with Shiro Woz’s idea. And he probably feels bad about feeling bad about that, bc he’s a soldier, and soldiers are supposed to complete their mission no matter the cost.

I guess she’s looking at Sougo, but it feels like she’s looking right at me, and even though she’s pretty and I love her, that sort of thing always makes me uncomfortable. I can’t look real people in the eye, stop trying to make me look tv characters in the eye!

Aw! There’s something twistedly heartwarming about Mirror¡Sougo tormenting Sougo about his relationship w/ Geiz. Good drama.

Also, I remain alone on the casual SouGeiz raft and it is still funny. XD

Sou Okuno remains much too cute for me to be frightened of him in any capacity.

I really wanna know what that line said. Something about Geiz and Puma Zi-O, but I don’t know.

Well, Sougo just died. (by which I mean, he fell over)

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Shiro Woz being suspiciously tolerable. I’m sure he’ll be back to his usual manipulative jackass self next ep.

Aw! Tsukuyomi is breaking out the Hawk Droid now!

I keep getting this incredibly in depth Chinese State Farm ad and it’s hilarious.

Shiro Woz is dead now, too.

Honestly, he’s on the right track.

Yes, he is technically Kamen Rider Ryuki. By which we mean, he was Kamen Rider Ryuki, but then time got totally rewritten so that he wasn’t. Twice!

Not that I think he enjoyed it that much the first time... At leats he met Ron, though. Man, this is making me want to go back and watch Ryuki proper.

Lessons for the Mirror World: Don’t talk to your Mirror Self, it’s a bad idea. Also something about accepting yourself.

He looks different w/ short hair and older, but every now and then, he turns his head or makes a particular face, and it’s like ‘yeah, that’s him, that’s the boy.’

Shiro Woz died again.

I’m just gonna start assuming that Rider and Sentai weapons magically go back to their pocket dimension as soon s they’re thrown offscreen (thinks of all those times in Ex-Aid where you could literally hear them hitting the ground somewhere).

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

And thar he go. Goddamnit, Geiz.

Kudos to Okuno for pulling off as truly adorable and hilarious confused Mirror¡Sougo face for this whole scene. He’s just like ‘wth, dude?’

See, this is part of why I think Sougo’s the ‘hide all my ‘negative’ emotions’ kinda person. Bc he’s like ‘I’m really scared’ but he’s never shown it. Which isn’t healthy, sweetie, please talk to someone. Who... Isn’t your Mirror World self.

If they do do ‘balance of light and dark’ thing for Zi-O, I really hope they do a thing about Geiz and Tsukuyomi being his sort of ‘main anchors’ for the ‘light’ part. If that makes any sense.

Me when someone falls over in Toku ‘Whelp, he’s dead.’ Me when someone actually dies in Toku ‘Nah, he’s fine.’

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Man, though, I hope they don’t remember the entirety of the time reset. Bc he’d have to remember dying, and she’d have to remember him dying in her arms. And they’re EIGHTEEN.

Shiro Woz.exe has stopped working.

Also, in that overhead shot, you can totally see Another Ryuga standing next to the tree before he respawns. XD ^^

Or maybe that’s a crew member. Either way. ^^ XD

Still wish they coulda given him more of a reaction, but I can justify it. He prefers to keep things in, and he probably guessed what the situation would be when he got there and was mentally preparing the whole way. Still wish we coulda had a small ‘mentally prepared but not quite ready for the real thing’ moment. I guess he does seem a little perturbed, but... Nrgh.

Spent several minutes rewatching this part, partially for angst lover reasons, and partially bc I was trying to see if I could see Gaku still breathing even though he’s playing dead. I actually didn’t notice any moments, but maybe someone else did.

God, I hope he didn’t hold his breath that whole time. Though who knows. Maybe he has the breath holding skills of an olympic swimmer.

I accidentally paused on a shot of Kuro Woz while Shiro Woz was flying into the scene to grab him and it looked kinda hilarious.

Keisuke be like ‘Hello, my suit actor!’ ^^ Poor boy over here talking to himself.

So what is going to happen w/ these two? Will the Wozes fuse? Will there be a third, true Woz? Will he not be a manipulative jerk-face? The questions are numerous.

Also, what’s the history between him and Geiz? I care more about it bc of Geiz than bc of Woz.

But also... Woz Fight!

CUTE. Makes one remember all the hijinks that went on at the office.

See? That’s Sougo reacting to something. :/

Now the other two are worried though, bc that’s a Puma Zi-O power. God, please, please don’t break up the Zi-Ot3. I’m putting my faith in you, dude who wrote Ninninger! I mean, you gave us Kinji and the Igasakis! (crap, that was the family name, right?) Admittedly, slightly lower stakes, but I’m counting on yooooooooouuuuuuu! *continues howling off into the distance for no reason*

But Geiz is straight up like ‘it’s my fault,’ the poor baby. Like. He’s not even blaming Sougo. He seems to be saying that he caused Sougo to make that choice. Bc the online translator says something like ‘led him’ to that ‘path’? Then gain, the online image translator also like to periodically translates things as ‘it’s all about sex’ and for the life of it cannot decide on what ‘Ouma Zi-O’ translate as. My favourite remains ‘the ostrich.’

Tsukuyomi apparently makes a note that one isn’t supposed to ‘play with time or someone’s life’ and now I’m like... About... Two or three of Sougou’s ‘steps’ towards becoming Puma Zi-O were bc he was trying to save Geiz? What if... What if the reason he became Puma Zi-O was that breaking the ‘rules’ of time does mess w/ your head and he kept using to to try and save Geiz from himself, or something... Like, wasn’t there some other time travel thing about the universe really trying to kill someone and someone else trying to prevent it? Like, coming back to my ‘die to prevent Puma Zi-O’ thing. If it’s something like that... Like, what if it seems like in the end that most sure way to prevent Puma Zi-O w/out killing Sougo is just letting Geiz die? I mean. He’d accept it in a heartbeat, I’m pretty sure, but if it does come to that, I’d prefer they found a third miracle option.

Of course, she could actually be saying something else entirely and I just went off on an aimless tangent.

But Geiz’s face during this talk... Like, I definitely think he's upset bc at this point he doesn’t want to kill Sougo at all anymore, and he also now feels like he’s responsible for destroying the future on one hand and starting the process that turned adorable little Sougo into Puma Zi-O on the other. My poor baby.

Also Tsukuyomi is talking directly at me again, and it is still making me uncomfortable!

And now they both stand there and look kinda sad.

Where the hell are they, anyway? Why’d they come back out here?

Shut up Kuro Woz, I don’t care.

Also, hi Kikai! ^^

And now for a completely clashing goofy promo!

I am still nervous, and the tea and shirts are ready to go, but one of the preview images looked like the boys having a normal conversation, so I’m still hedging my bets. Do right by me, Ninninger man! Not that I have anything to offer if you don’t, but, you know....

Okay, maybe I’ll buy something.

That’s all folks! Virtual lemon meringue pie for anyone who read all that nonsense. Or whatever type of pie you like. If you don’t like pie, cookies or cake or anything is fine.

Still hoping for good friendship drama. Love the Zi-Ot3, suspicious of how tolerable Shiro Woz was this ep. Suppose I’ll have to get used to him, since we're apparently keeping him. Now instilled w/ a desire to rewatch Ryuki.

Tea and shirts remain on standby.

[charminglyantiquated]

(This is the anon who asked about the bitter ex heroes) Anything, pretty much! What direction are you gonna take the story in? Can you tell us more about the characters' backstories? Their relationship? (I enjoyed their dynamic) About Caravalia?

Yessss OK HERE WE GO (below a cut bc I already know it’s gonna be kinda long)

The story is broadly going to be Brian and Erin world-hopping, trying to find Caravalia again, and in the process A. gradually losing hope and B. stumbling through a whole lot of fantasy world archetypes and into other people’s plots, which they then try to solve, because hey, once they were heroes (with limited success, because their magic world and the new magic worlds often run on completely different kinds of logic). They’re probably going to run into a few other younger heroes, and at least one girl who absolutely refused to go home and is now the resident evil queen. (She may, after being dethroned, either come along with them or actively be pursuing them for revenge??? I haven’t gotten that far).

As a more overarching thing, though - Brian and Erin are, through a dozen worlds of short references in scattered texts, able to piece together if not a map than a rough sense of what doorways will take you where. But at the same time, people aren’t really supposed to be tearing through worlds like this, and the things that live between the worlds are starting to wake up which is generally bad news (this is also, however, more a vague idea than anything else right now)

And honestly I have absolutely no idea how it’s going to end, because it could very easily go either way - their world wants them back, their world has aged hundreds of years, leaving them figures of myth, their world does not, in fact, want them back at all, their world is cool with having them back but they’ve in fact brought a whole lot of nether-world horrorterrors in their shadows after too long spent in the doorways. it’s ?????

Backstories though I have sorted out! Erin was removed from a neglectful home at ten, and although her foster family was well-meaning, Erin’s self-sufficiency and general wariness mean that they never really established a connection. Her school life is about the same as her home life, where she exists peacefully and amiably, gets alright grades, maybe plays lacrosse, generally stays below the radar. When things get stifling she explores the local woods.

Brian’s the older of two boys, and while he’s in middle school his generally loving parents are going through a pretty vicious divorce. Brian’s the kind of kid who gets pretty good grades without trying, probably has some good friends, voraciously reads dragontrash fantasy. As his home life deteriorates into shouting matches he draws into himself a bit more, spends more time reading, but not so much that anyone at school really has any idea, which is a point of pride for him.

Anyway they’re assigned to a book report together, and go to Erin’s house because Brian refuses to do homework at his for reasons he won’t clarify. After a little while Erin gets antsy, and because it’s May she suggests they go out to the woods to work on it instead. And that’s where the door opens up, while they’re arguing about a thesis statement - one moment it’s just empty space and the next moment the door to nowhere has always been there, and it feels a little like they’re seeing double when they look at it. Erin goes in first, pretty much without hesitation, and Brian follows her because it’s what most of his heroes and heroines would do, and also because he doesn’t want to go home jsut yet and he doesn’t want to hang out in the woods alone, either. And alos a bit because he’s never talked to Erin Sung before and she’s actually kind of cool and he wants to ask if she’s read any of his favorite books. So he steps from leaf mold to white marble and there’s a sound like a bubble bursting and then there’s no door, but there is the heir to the throne in the process of running for her life, and the whole thing begins.

After Caravalia they really don’t talk at all, except the one day of the year when they meet to remember. It was by accident the first year, when they both showed up in the woods half-hoping the door would open again, and they were both old enough emotionally if not physically anymore to recognize there’s a time for a ceasefire - some things can’t be forgiven, like a whole lot of what they did to each other, but the dead should be respected. After that they meet in the woods, and then eventually at a bar when the empty space where the door should have been is unbearable. About four years in Brian brings his stepmother’s lemon vodka; the year after that Erin brings nips of scotch. Brian misses it twice - sophomore year final week in college, and his college graduation. Erin misses it once, the year she’s sent to a new foster family on the far side of the state and the bus she took home broke down (she showed up at 2am and slept on Brian’s couch and left in the morning without eating breakfast). And a last thing is that by unspoken agreement they never talk about the living. Naming the dead was a tradition from Caravalia but to talk about the living who might be on the other side of a door that isn’t there is too painful. (This once a year meetup also becomes an awkward check-up on the other, just because who else can at least nod along and understand?)

Other than that, coming back from Caravalia fucks them up in different ways. Erin, who’d gradually started genuinely relying on other people, was extremely hurt by the twin betrayals of Brian’s turning coat and the princess she was pretty unabashedly in love with agreeing with the oracle/fairy godmother/??? that she needed to go back to her own world. Which back in a seventh-grade life makes it seem like her self-reliance and trust issues have suddenly cranked up a dozen levels overnight. Without her fire magic she feels empty and helpless and extremely vulnerable, and starts getting in a lot of fights because if nothing else it reassures her that she is capable to some degree of protecting herself or harming others with just her own small 13 year old self. But this overnight change alarms her foster family enough that as time goes on she’s shuffled through a few other families and eventually ages out. Over time she starts channeling this into kickboxing, and attempts to put herself through community college because it’s what she feels the princess expected her to do - live a normal life. She drops out because it has absolutely no meaning for her, probably drinks a bit more than she should, and eventually decides to go through any available door because she cannot go on like this.

Brian came back furious; Erin at least agreed to return, however reluctantly. Brian had no choice at all, and while Erin tried to turn her back to the door Brian beat himself bloody against it. He threw himself into researching portals with such ferocity his grades dipped dramatically, and only pulled out of the academic nosedive because he reasoned that to get access to some of the more promising texts he’d have to be a scholar. He’s wracked with guilt, not over betraying Erin but because the revolutionary army he led is probably doomed by the defeat in which he was maimed and captured. His singleminded drive to get back to Caravalia pretty much alienates all of his friends and family; eventually even his little brother, who he was close to before, tells him that this whole thing is nuts and he’s never actually believed Brian, just thought it was a way of coping with the divorce. In some ways it makes it easier for him to really throw himself into research, into every dubious ritual he can find. He gets into some real prestigious school and becomes that kid who only really leaves his room at night and doesn’t actually talk to anyone. It’s not a great time, but he’s also not really willing to leave because he feels like he’s getting closer to some kind of answer. But when Erin leaves he goes with her, because it’s better than being alone - even when he’d gone weeks without real human conversation he’d known she was somewhere else, and living the same weird double-life as he was, being 15-19-22 for the second time.

Caravalia itself is still tripping me up! It’s not going to be one of the ‘medieval northern europe in temperate woodland’ worlds, because there’s enough of that. Like. I want it to have its own ~aesthetic~ and I don’t know exactly what that will be like! Probably it is very much several small kingdoms built in the bones of a much larger empire, which still has beautiful ruins and occasional wonders like small forests of precious metals protected by charms to prevent them ever being pillages. A lot of black and white? probably deserts and white marble and honestly this is the part I need to work more on, it hella needs some more worldbuilding. 

[bookwormbambi]

Finals/Study Schedule!

I don’t know if I’ve ever talked about this, but I honestly think that one of the greatest parts about online classes is having the freedom to choose when I’m going to take my exams. It’s awesome!

So for today’s Dead Week post I wanted to talk about how I planned out my studying/exam schedule, despite some issues.

Last year I was taking four classes for my first semester of being a fully online student and I spent I think an entire day planning out exactly what I would be studying on each day and when I was going to be taking the exams (more on that in a minute). This year I’m taking five classes, but one of them is causing me problems in that the instructor has posted literally zero information about the exam, and I’m honestly starting to wonder if we even are going to have one, since finals start in six days. (I’ve taken a “pop quiz” final exam before, I was not happy.) So I’m really hoping that I hear something soon because I have no idea what’s going on and it’s causing some unnecessary stress. With that in mind, the schedule for this semester isn’t so concise like it was before, but I still have a solid idea of what needs to be done for each class, so I’m going to break the class down one by one, explain the exam (except for Sociology bc I still have no idea) and talk about what I’m studying, and when I’m taking it.

Side note: with online classes, the majority of instructors will allow you to take the final exam at any time within the duration of finals week, but you have to start the exam with at least two hours before the end of the exam window or you won’t be allowed to take it.

Intermediate Algebra I think this class is the one that’s actually stressing me out the most at the moment tbh. This exam is a cumulative exam (I think he said 50 questions but I honest to goodness do not remember oops) that has to be taken on campus on Monday, 10 December at 2pm. More than anything I’m stressed about having to go all the way out to campus for this, but it’s a department policy and there’s nothing I can do about it. When I went in for my last exam (can you believe that was only a week ago bc I can’t) he gave us the first two exams. I absolutely love using old tests to study because so many instructors will reuse exact questions from old tests in their final exams and I can get a better idea of what to study. He also posted two review quizzes (ungraded and unlimited attempts) on his website for me to go over. For the next three days I’m going to review each of the first three exams (I don’t actually have the third one but he did email me the answer key which is better than nothing) and get myself in a position where I would get 100% on all three if I retook them (I so wish I was able to do that)! After that I’ll be taking the review quizzes on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday until I get 100% on them. There is also an extra credit assignment due on the day of the exam that I think I’ll do either tonight or tomorrow just to get it out of the way. I already looked at it, it’s easy points. No reason not to do it. I think we are also allowed to make a notecard to have during the exam, but I’m going to email him to be sure. He’s let us have them in the first three exams and never said that we couldn’t have them in the final, but I’d like to be sure.

American History For this class, there actually is not a final exam (thank god) but a final project which is due the day after tomorrow. I more or less have to create my own lecture, record it, and compile it into a presentation and send it in. The research is done, the script is written, I just have to record the voiceover and add the pictures in. I feel pretty confident about this project, but recording the audio is making me a bit nervous. I’ve been sick with a bad cold for the past few days and am only just starting to get my voice back, so I don’t sound great and am still coughing/clearing my throat every three seconds, but unfortunately I don’t have time to wait for my voice to clear up. Tomorrow I’m going to record a few takes of the lecture (accompanied with some lemon and cayenne tea for my throat) and edit it the best I can (something I actually used to do a lot when I was in high school so I’m not too worried about). I can have the whole thing finished tomorrow, but I think I would feel better taking the day on Thursday to fine-tune it just to really secure an A (it isn’t due until 11:59 pm). Once it’s submitted I have until Sunday, 16 December to review someone else’s lecture post a peer edit. I’m not actually sure if he’s going to assign someone for me to review or if I can choose, but I’ll find out on Friday after my own lecture is submitted. The tentative plan is to do the review as soon as I found out, and to have it finished by Tuesday, 11 December or Wednesday, 12 December at the latest.

General Psychology This is a non-cumulative exam that has to be taken on Wednesday, 12 December, but can be taken any time between 8am and 10pm. There are only I think three chapters that I need to study, but the chapters are so long I’m going to take two days to study each one, and it might turn out that I maybe make a write-up or study guide on the chapter one day and test myself on it the next; I’m not really sure what’s going to happen yet. Unfortunately Canvas has changed a lot of its rules and I’m not allowed to access any of my old tests or quizzes. It’s supposed to be an anti-cheat thing so you don’t post everything onto Quizlet but I actually use them to study from so it doesn’t help me much. I didn’t do great on my last two exams so I’m a little nervous about this one. I think that’s why I’m taking two days to study one chapter tbh. I think the best I can hope for in this class is a C as my final grade, but I need as high a score as possible on the final to hope for that in all honesty.

Pharmacology This is a non-cumulative exam that can be taken anytime between 6am on 10 December and 11:59 pm on 15 December (but has to be started at the latest by 9:59 pm on 15 December). I’m still not sure what’s going on with the term paper, because she said she won’t be grading them until I think next week. Whatever she decides to do is what she decides to do, and I’m not going to throw away the final exam on the possibility she doesn’t grade my paper. I’m going to keep going like she will grade it and that I’ll get a great grade. This exam is on the second half of the class, which adds up to I think 13 chapters to study from, which I’m breaking down to two a day (or one lesson a day, essentially). I have benefitted so much more from studying from the textbook directly over her lecture notes - which are not set up for online classes, but rather in-class sessions where she would be talking through each incredibly vague bullet point. At the end of each chapter is also a review which she’s sent us the answer keys to, so the plan is to take notes on each chapter (which takes about an hour each) and then take the review quiz at the end. Again I can’t see my old quizzes so I can’t use those to study from. I think this is honestly the first time where I’m completely relying on my textbook and no other material, but, if it works, it works. As of now I’m planning on taking this exam on Thursday, 13 December, so that I have more time to study. I haven’t decided on a time of day yet, but most likely in the morning so I can get it out of the way.

Intro to Sociology So again I have no idea what’s going on with this class, but I can guess. My best guess is that this will be a non-cumulative exam (I’m basing this on her syllabus that she doesn’t actually follow) and she’ll most likely give us the entire week to take it, with a plan to take it on Tuesday, 11 December. I imagine she’ll post something about it within the next day or two, but only time will tell.

Ideally, I want to be completely done with my finals before Friday, 14 December because we are having a Christmas Party at work, and I would really love to go feeling accomplished and being able to celebrate the end of the semester with my team who have been so patient and supportive of me while I’ve been barely working for the past two months to maintain my ridiculous course load. Wish me luck!