#bc i don't have the energy to fix it
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#legend of zelda#link#loz#links meet au#zelda#oh and btw dw if your link doesn't make it in top 5#i might include em anyway#i'm almost certainly including FSA link#following canon timeline#bc i don't have the energy to fix it#hyrule warriors brings the 3 timelines back together for BOTW#because i said so
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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i am so sorry about this, but for iconic and comedic purposes, and because i think it is my only chance...i think because put jk in all the clean, sleek, minimalistic dark academia fits ( and made him the fkn scariest top dom motherfucker alive >.> ) and put rm!stan as raven in all the thotty gothy hot topic rockstar boy looks ( ilu tiny pants ) ...
i think it's only fair that...
my bitchy, ginger, picky snobby ricky bobby ken doll son, AKA, red hot tire siren, toxic orange pit viper and mean green newjay devil -- who wears more comme de garcons/moshino than prada, imo -- espn celebpretty sh(it) boy, twitter's favorite #cred#head, /my/ precious daytona 500 winning pookie ( dirtbag ) and the #supreme tmz trashed-and-slated nastyboy of nascar racing, the one, the only...
Kyle 'Break Check!' Broflovski <3
should get to wear all the dramatic af, xxxtreme sportyspice, ubergay nightmarish perish hilton, twinky talladega nights, white #trashion, vodka&redheadbull, apple bottom jeans boots w the fur club fits <3
( also just for shits and gigs, pls note: toolshed stan is a super casual, fashionably challenged but unbothered old carhartt beanie, oversized flannel n beat up work boot wearin king...so i'm laaugghingsdk )
like...i am sorry, but this is the right answer:
#nina speak#everyone staring at me with bewildered eyes#TWINK KYLE????#listen!!!! i wanted some of the action okay#also u cannot tell me this is EXTREMELY CORRECT#i also don't know if he is that tall but its a force of habit#he just has ENERGY#like i can feel this in my BONES i know its just the most extra avant garde white boy wasted thot fit of all time#i am not sure if he does it bc he likes it or bc he wants attention yet but all i know is that he is slaying#and the people of south park are going to point and laugh#not mechanic stan tho bc he is nice ( a little under his breath badly disguised as a cough ) before raceky says something foul#like smh toolstan u should have been mean baby!!! don't let him call ur vintage safety goggles dorky king!!! stand ur ground#StAN FOR SOMETHING skhdlksad haha#but no it is giving the simple life#also i love toolshed stan he is just a backcountry rural colorado weed farm boy who is really good at fixing stuff#celebshitty kyle talking so fast it is...hurting his brain like he is fascinated by it...but is also like...are u perhaps having a stroke#ill do him next but like pls tell me someone understands the vision like its so specific and i destroyed the canon again#but i wanted to write a bitchy fingerbang kyle and this is my solution by writing obnoxious spoiled rotten racecar driver ky
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it's been a sec since i've done a translation! but i think this comic is really sweet so translation under the cut!! the title on the comic is "kiribaku and tododeku who aren't public about their relationship (having mild heart attacks)", and the caption on the tweet is "i wanna read 10000 stories about people finding out about kiribaku and tododeku's relationships"
Hero Radio OFFTiME! On our program, you can hear top heroes spill a little bit about their private lives. Today's hosts are Deku and Red Riot! What kinds of things will they talk about? Let's see!
Midoriya: Man, you must be tired! You came here straight after a night shift, right? Are you feeling alright?
Kirishima: All good! Besides, you've been working ten days in a row, right? Good on you!
(word bubbles - Very, Very Tired)
M: Alright then, our first letter of the night...this one comes to us from BlueMackerel-san, who asks, "How did you spend your last day off?"
K: Uhh...oh yeah! Hiked 'n camped! And ate a ton of campfire food!
M: Oh, with Kacchan?
K: Yep!
M: He sure does like hiking.
Flashback Kirishima: WHOOPIE!!
Flashback Bakugou: Just eat it
M: What'd you two eat?
K: The works! Spare ribs, and homemade sausage, and meat, and more meat! Bakugou always packs a ton of meat to barbecue, it's crazy good! What about you?
M: Mmm...I slept in until around noon...and I think that day, Todoroki's family invited me over for dinner. His sister is a great cook!
Flashback Fuyumi: Welcome, welcome!
K: Coooool. So we both ended up just spending the day with our boyfriends, huh-
M: UH- um-
K: Huh? OH-! Cut! Cut!! Can you guys pretend you didn't hear that last...
M: Ohhhh my goddddddd
Narration: Our next letter comes to us from DieYouScum-san, who writes, "I'm killing you when you get home"
#kiribaku#tododeku#translation#bnha#this is a short one that's mostly kirishima and deku talkin but i think it's very cute#i'm also still completely in shock that tumblr now lets you go back and fix typos in tags#good on ya tumblr stuff#this is just a super quick translation before bed and i played it kinda fast and loose w the expressions!! but i did my best to get the#meaning across!!#to talk abt mostly unrelated stuff yesterday on my way home from a long weekend i dropped by tokyo and to a huge anime resale store#they had soooo much bnha stuff but pointedly they had a whole separate building across the street for doujinshi#my local anime resale store lately has gotten so few bnha doujin that they stopped sorting them by ship so it's basically not worth looking#but this one had a ton of krbk all laid out and i was this close to not even going into the store but i came out w a little stack!#crazy to see so much krbk in person that i even had my /pick/ of safe fluffy stuff#anyway one of the ones i bought is abt them living together and the cover illustration is kirishima elbowing bkg in his sleep#i was gonna not just read more krbk before bed tonight but it looks so sweet and up my alley#ik i don't post much on here anymore and it's mostly bc adult life saps the paragraph-typing/thread-typing energy out of me#but those guys still have an apartment in my brain#hope you guys are doing well!!
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do you ever feel casually suicidal? like you're not depressed or anything you're doing fine but also it feels like a convenient option
#if you can't make connections with people or be seen by anyone then like. at least you can feel like you're helping a better cause#to like charities and gfms and anyone else#but you have to tone that down bc you're slowly losing money bc you still can't get a job#and bc you don't have a job it means you're just stuck in the house all day. which gives Way Too Much opportunity to Think about everything#and also so like. i still share a room with my sister but it was fine bc she'd stay at her bf's a few nights a week#but he's got a job that's a bit further away and basically she can't go round his as much. so now it's maybe like once a week#the room is getting messier so it gives me less energy to do anything#you can get really into an unhealthy weight loss obsession bc at least it feels like you're getting towards something#but idek is set weight theory real? bc once i get down to a certain point it suddenly resets#like honestly counting calories and donating money to every gfm i saw and writing a film script was what kept me going#but first one isn't working and second i need some sort of income and third is finished and i have no way of actually creating it#and then there's the whole lack of stable hyperfixation and ability to find new music i enjoy#and realistically what would fix me is having a good job that i enjoy and somewhere to live on my own#but until i get a job that's currently impossible. and even then it probably won't feel like enough#my entire life is lived on my phone i need more physical objects but i don't have enough space#bc i share a room with my sister. it's like all my problems are connected#and i have enough optimism that i still think it'll get better in the next few weeks. maybe i'll be able to get a job and that'll#get everything going again#but at the same time i could easily just die#I've graduated from uni. I've seen the who live 3 times. I've crashed my car twice. I've watched 30 years of corrie. I've met various dogs#what else is there to do with my life honestly#(<- joking)#but yeah like. in summer 2021 i almost got suicidal (it was just letting the occasional thought linger in my mind etc)#but that was bc i was so depressed#but now it feels like i could just kill myself. but more just out of convenience#idek. i'm not gonna kill myself. bc i have a job interview on tuesday. and just in general i won't#but there is this casual feeling of like. well i might as well. i can't describe it#ramble#suicide tw#weight loss mention
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hi i'm still alive i've just been too lazy to log in it's soooo much work
#carly.txt#i have some sets i started that i haven't even put in drafts yet i just made gifs without logging in askjldfjkldg#so we'll see if i ever finish those#going to get a ct scan to see if i have a tumor on my adrenal gland today. very exciting#part of why i haven't logged in is bc i've just been so low energy and the executive dysfunction go crazy so#i finish work every day and then legitimately juts don't do anything#hopefully there's something wrong w me that they can fix easily alkdkflsakdlg
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My brain feels like it's been in a complete fog for like 6 months but I'm trying my best. That and the resurgence of nerve pain and NEW pain in my spine has been great I love bodies.
#trying to catch up on basic human things but it's like#every time i start to get anywhere#things set me back or i have another crisis that drains me mentally and physically#I've been wanting this wheelchair and i can't get it even tho it's literally like 1k off the usual 4k price#bc i just had to buy a car and spend my savings and more on fixing my old car#plus I'm not getting hired and don't have energy for auditions which is#great#I'm tired and i feel like giving up#but oh no now i have to finish maybe buying a house and dealing with family and moving#so that's fun#anyway if I'm quiet that's why I've been so isolated#the house isn't my own money obv but it's bc my grandma sold my late dad's place so she wanted me to have a place#that's the only way we're getting houses gang#i don't wanna be ungrateful it's very exciting it's just a lot and I have to be put together about if
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okay tomorrow im gonna do some self care starting with a nap the second i get home and then doing the dishes so i can make pasta
#listen if it's eating pasta everyday or not eating im choosing the pasta idc#i can start eating healthier and more diversely at another time#now im just too out of energy to do basic human being things and trying new foods or eating foods that i don't like which means i only eat#just enough to stop being hungry is just not for right now. is this a sentence? i forgot what i was typing in the previous tag#whatever im going to sleep bc im too tired and hungry and im starting to feel weird and i have to wake up in 5.5 hours#i have to fix the sleeping#at least the weekend is near#jo says stuff#personal ramblings
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my sibling just tripped and i said 'god bless you ?????' like they sneezed or something ??
#just me hi#??? hfvbshf#i thought i was saying 'are you good?' but nope hfvbhsf#though i dunno why but i Do sometimes say god bless you to loud noises loll#//anyway oh my lllooroddssss why is sleep so awful bhvfsh#i sleep for six hours and i'm still kinda tired but that's it that's the Peak#if i sleep for any longer i think i start to decompose or something fffffhhdvc#like this SUCKS man whyyy hvfbs#also it's Extra Dumb because i'll start dreaming and just never wake up bc i HAVE to stay. for the Plot#cool tho bc i Did get to the end of my dream last night which is quite rare so !! :D#i do not remember it tho. but i am still satisfied about it lol :>#/but really sleeping is just Awful fvsh#and i have Tried to fix my sleeping schedule but ouaaghhfff it's a fight out here lmaoo#cuz i end up Storing energy until late at night and then i'm up until 4 a.m. again and oops there it goes again !#i dunno hfh#i'm having hardware problems that are exacerbated by the software that's all i know lol :)#//anywayyy so i've been tryna work on that little lore book (slow work cuz the sleep got worse recently HrghB) and i got stopped short @#chapter 2 bc i don't think i have a lot on the gods ??#okay wait yeah i think i do#i just started going for a sec in the tags i think i do actually#i just gotta. uhhh reformat some stuff lmao :3#so be back perhaps !!! oooo [<- ghost noise]
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it's making me a lil sad to listen to my s.potify wrapped bc a good chunk of the songs are from playlists i made for ships, and i don't write any of those ships anymore. and dude, the energy i had for toiling over a playlist until i got it just right!! i remember spending so much time and going over and over the playlist until it flowed just the way i wanted it to. and i think it's a mixture of missing the connections i had and missing the energy i had bc i know i haven't been at my best this year. i feel like i don't do a good job of forming personal connections, not that i was ever the best asdf but i've noticed how i've changed. i have a lot of feelings and a lot of ideas, but the energy or motivation is really hard to find sometimes. remaking has helped tremendously, but listening to this playlist is like looking my problems directly in the eye and can i just say yikes
#for the record i'm extremely grateful for the friends and writing partners i have here#i'm extremely grateful for the ships i have here be they romantic platonic or otherwise#i'm extremely grateful for the people who continue to give me a chance and be so patient with me bc i really feel like i press my luck#i feel like i don't do enough and i always want to do more but it's just really hard bc either my motivation/energy isn't great#or i start to feel like i'm going to be a bother if i bug someone too much even though i'm just excited to talk and write together#like i said remaking blogs has helped but problems aren't fixed overnight and i'm gonna continue to struggle with this bc sadly#i am the way i am asdfgh#so really and truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here <3#and sorry bc i did not mean for this to become a whole vent post jeez ;;;;;#lemme go take a breath and listen to something that won't send me down memory lane asdfg#get ready to ramble | ooc#tw vent
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in another universe, i'd go over just to take a nap
#genuinely it's insane#it doesn't work anymore since he rejected me and even though we still text everyday#we don't send gn texts and when we do they're not as heartfelt as they used to be#(used to have little hearts or exclamation marks or be in a little gift box on insta and etc etc)#but i always slept a million times better when i got those little texts#and one time we called and i nearly fell asleep#and i still remember that night where i nearly fell asleep on his shoulder on the drive home#and i read this thing about how we always feel more tired with our partners bc of the serotonin being produced and idk if that's actually#true but. i see it#i always feel more comfortable and more sleepy around him and i feel safe enough to actually express it#whereas with everyone else i still have to mask and pretend i have more energy#but you have to understand that i am constantly exhausted and i sleep terribly no matter what i try#napping is an absolutely impossible feat#but i truly do believe that if i could nap with him then i would be fixed#blue screams into the void
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Having a bad day :(
#sep talks#would elaborate but I'm too tired. That is part of it ngl. I'm so tired all the time#no energy for anything that isn't school. Barely enough energy for school#actually that's a lie. Not enough energy for school. I can't do homework bc I'm too tired#barely awake enough most of the time to remember to eat#I'm ill rn so that's not helping#I want to lie down and sleep for 1 million years and never ever have to get up. But unfortunately I Do have to get up#my throat hurts my head hurts I'm so so tired my feet hurt bc my shoes don't fit right my joints hurt bc of god knows what#I'm having a genuine crisis almost to the level of whatever the fuck I had going on in 2020/2021#I have no plans for the future I have no plans for the present I'm too tired to even consider it#I need to deal with some school stuff but I really really really do not want to have to#I knew school made me tired and depressed but this is i think worse than its ever been before#and idk how to fix it. I need the qualifications#I can't quit. I don't know if I can carry on. Hell on earth. Idk why I'm so tired I wish I could fix it#but I'm too tired to call the doctors
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NOOOO babygirllllll im glad you didnt leave tho <3
dw i'll never leave because of the lesbians! <3 plus I am far too stubborn especially over being told it's wrong to wish violence on lesbian fetishizing pedophiles bc they're troons. bullets is exactly what they deserve, the staff loves garbage.
#third times the charm as they say#I don't even have the energy to be pissed bc im sick. I miss my first blog the most bc I had that for a decade#the most annoying part is finding all your mutuals again and blogs with content you enjoy#I spent so much time fixing my dash and who I follow so it sucks#and losing all the messages too! rip to my like massive inbox and drafts of asks and thoughts that will never get posted#oh and reblocking homophobes :// always fun#I should have done a back up so my conten or posts were saved but too late now#I say that shit all the time but I guess the stalker tras really went at the reporting lol
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mom and dad :)
#caroline watches tv#mom (ilysm sophie ilysm ilysm) and dad (.. ... nate ily but please get yourself together but ily but PLEASE--)#i annoy myself so much sometimes#bc season 1 episode 1 i went 'huh nate and sophie have a funny thing going on don't they'#and then literally 2 seasons later i'm going 'MAN!!!!!!! MAN!!!!!!!'#i just appreciate s3 opening#and sophie going ':) you can save yourself :)' at nate#bc. hm something something sophie's such a wonderful character#she's wicked smart and a genius thief and a wonderful actress (when she's scamming people)#and she also has such a big heart but like. i was worried that she would also just be like 'let me help nate'#and instead she goes 'i worry about nate but he is the only one who can fix himself. i will slap him'#and she did!#and then they have these!!! these sweet moments and i'm!!!!#MAN!#very weird feeling when a show makes me genuinely invested in a romance between a man and a woman#within like. 3 seconds of them being together on screen for the first time#when i tell you it was THAT fast and i still cannot process why except WHATEVER THE ENERGY WAS
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wahh just need to get this just THIS done then i can play. gbf. n ffxiv. for a while. hopefully
#🌙.rambles#gbf i miss it so much i want to read old bonds (i missed the first time it ran) n#seeing siete on my tl i love him he's so cool bro#seox tho seox my beloved 🥺🫶🏼 n then#I MISS GBF YEAH#n ffxiv.. hdklafsjdfklsjdfkl#n final fantasy in general n them fe3h but just fire emblem in general too#n nier. i need to play nier#top 3 game series i think in no specific order r final fantasy/granblue fantasy/fire emblem/drakenier#that's not 3 but i can't pick . ff is def at the top bcs i'm familiar w like. nearly all the games.#fe is mostly 3h still :c i love the series a lot though. rlly want to get into it a lot more but it's yh one of my favs already#gbf i haven't been playing as actively but <3 really special to me too#drakenier i haven't even finished a single game but. yeah. Yeah#actually wait. add kingdom hearts actually ^^ BCS THAT'S MY CHILDHOOD 🥹 <3#still though there's so much i don't know about ff n gbf n fe n drakenier n kh#ah. arknights is there too. i know for sure. yes. so that's like.. no specific order top 6 now? T_T#i rlly need to stop rambling though i just want to get this done .#i have no energy for this essay n script .#i want to fix my tabs n spotify playlists. i want to make more playlists. help
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okay also... not that it's a bad thing about him as a person at all... but if i'm gonna be in a relationship with someone... fuck if i wanna be able to have an intelligent conversation with them. even if there's only a few topics we line up on in that manner. just please, anything other than usually-one-sided conversations about fandom.... 😮💨
#i read a thing a week or so ago about this couple who just sit and talk for hours every day#and while i don't have fucking *that* level of social energy.... some of that would be nice#i'm getting to the stage where i have to remind myself of all the reasons i want *not this*#(trying the reframe from my shrink. it's not what i Don't Want- but what i Do Want Instead)#and i feel so mean and selfish for pointing out all the ways this relationship falls short#because who the hell am *i*?? what right do i have???#we're *perfect* for each other if only we both change (or i abusively make him change) in all these ways until we're totally different ppl!#but if i don't acknowledge where things are not matching up to my wants#then it'll be all too easy to gloss over them and beloeve myself that i'm an evil monster depriving an innocent boy of his rightful soulmate#but the point of a soulmate is complementing each other.... not one person being the person that completes and fixes the other#soulmates are two complete and whole people whose paths are best traveled in parallel#not two incomplete people (or one complete and the other incomplete) who can only exist by breathing for each other#and i want the person who runs parallel to me#i want someone who can not only stand on their own two feet without me but THRIVE without me#and aw hell if that isn't a very interesting thing to want considering my historical issues with feeling inadequate#but i think both those growths go hand in hand - confidence in worth and wants#(like damn- honestly surprising myself with that one!)#i'm going to have the conversation with him either this tuesday or next...#part of me wants to rip the bandaid off but the other wants to both grant him one more Date Night#and also grant myself the proof i'm not acting impulsively and without thought—that i'm not just lashing out bc i Feel Lonely or whatever#though now that i'm thinking about it i don't know that i'll be able to keep it together knowing what i plan to do#i'm gonna need my fucking anxiety meds a lot this week and next 🙃 worth it tho... 😮💨#personal
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