#bc i was worried i wouldnt tag it
Text
do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Oh g-d I've been withdrawing
#gamer txt.#i keep typong up posts and tags and delstinv them withoit thinking too much about it recentlu but k never usually dp that#theyve all been needy and attention seeking and thats why i was eriting them in the first place but thats ehy i keep deleting them#because i want attention#and that scares tge hell out of me#how bad do i have to be to be this desperate for some sort of contact yet this scared of losing everyone eho moght give it to me#why am u rhis scared of people thinking im annoying ive been feleting needy posts for months thats not . like me#even when im bad im usually better than that i dont. i dont understand ahy this is different#hell i relapsed a few months ago and i couldnt bring myself to even say i cut myself again outright bc i didnt want to be bother#since when the hell have i put up the illusion of being ok on this blog why am i so comcerned#are my trust issues really that bad? am i really that worried everyone who cares about me will fold the second i inconveniene them?#g-d thats. yeah fuck no wonder my friends were insulted when i gave them a 6/10 for 'ppl i would talk to if i had issues'#that is insulting#and whats worse is that its a lie#6/10 should be over half i should tell them my problems about half of the time#i dont do it. ever#and usually thats not too bad because i unload wverything here anyways but now ive stsrted stopping kyself frkm doi g thst#i want help and attention and to stop being so svared but im too scared to ask for those#i had to drag myself out of bed to make rhis post bc if i left it till morning i wouldnt do kt#also thats why all the typos btw no glssses its dark and i stsrted crying at some point#i dont know if its just how ive been feeling lateky or if theres some truth to it but i feel like my text posts have been getting seen less#im honestly kinda really twrrified im gonna wake up and no one will have seen this post and im just gonna pretend to be ok#bevause i would i think i would really just give up#i dont know what gl do#ive never been this scaredwithout a discernable cause before#ive stsrted cryung way harder andb u dont even know why#i think i think thats more or lees everything off my chest#im gonna try to sleep
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
sometimes i want to write fic thats ooc as hell as pure outlet for all the Feelings im trying not to have but i dont want it to like. detract from the fic i write i put thought and care into that is not 'ouch'.
#is this a valid thing to even worry about?#should i just start a tag for 'i made this but it came out angry and sad bc im angry and sad'#'he wouldnt say this but i certainly cant myself'#or should i invent a blorvo specifically to be a punching bag#what a miserable existence thatd be right??
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
Double life Joel is so cool I love him so much, it makes perfect sense dl!Etho likes him (who wouldn't like him?)
-☀️
ngl i feel like dl etho was like oh huh this guy is my soulmate *shrug* okay then and then he just. suddenly realises one day that he cares about him like. for real.
#original post tag#ask tag#☀️#the who wouldnt like joel comment is. no im not finishing that scentance bc i cant jdhsjdhd#<- its a stupid thing dont worry
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
bout to have a rough fucking week or two or 3 or month or months
#toy txt post#uh#animal death in tags#kinda. not yet#but its coming.#he has cancer metastasized in both lungs we found out like. a couple months ago maybe?#and hes been. okay. but declining#and. itll probably be. like. next week tbh#and if its NOT next week itll be. an even worse time#bc i dont see a way that he makes it past next week where he also makes it to my parents returning from their trip#which would mean they wouldnt be here with him and that id have to take him alone by myself and deal with that. hone alone. by myself#and im worried about my other dog too bc she gets fuckjng. some separation anxiety from him already. i cant imagine what this is gonna#do to her. fuck#and even if its not me taking him by myself while my parents are away which btw thatll fucking stress him the fuck out if he makes it that#far#then theres the issue of moxie bc he'll be gone and she'll be alone and then parents will leave for their trip and then ill have to leave#for fucking work everyday like. if she eats a hole in the couch about this i will not blame her and fuck i might fucking join her#ive been trying not to cry all day fuck#i told my manager today id likely need to call out on short notice soon and she was understanding at least
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
being in the closet(?) about my gender identity makes clothes shopping with the family so difficult lol
#bit of a ramble in tags srry#me qnd my gram are going to have a day out tomorrow .get lunch and look at some summer clothes#and my main priority is shorts and idk how im gonna bring up that i#dont want girl shorts. or capris#i want basketball shorts plain and simple#and my gram doesny rlly question my choices she says as long as im happy then it doesnt matter#but i still worry ig. of being looked at weird#which again is funny to say bc my gram asked me during a car ride one day “are you one of those nonbinaries or smth?”#idk#its me overthinking really#my family is a bit confused on the gender stuff#but i know if i ever came out to them about it i wouldnt be shunned#judt..rrhrh#my text#again sorry abt the rambles but tbf this is my main and my art is a separate blog now so
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
tristamp vash being hinted at having an ed is something that can be so personal (<-struggled with disordered eating in eight months of college and already related to vash in a lot of ways and this is just the icing on the cake)
#whiskey yelling into the void#tw ed#<-never used that tag before!! wow#its not something i talk abt much bc honestly mine wasnt that bad i dont think and i wouldnt consider my experience with it a disorder#it was just a side effect of the actual problem which was my genuinely crippling health anxiety#but seeing a character sorta struggle with that happening as a side effect of their main issue (vash's self worth) makes me feel seen??#idk. i just want him to experience the joy of recovery and actually eating w/o worrying if he rly deserves it yk. it's. yeah#wanna write something about it idk if i'd post it but i def wanna write a oneshot or somethin#holding tristamp vash in my hands very gently and feeding him timbits <3
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
what if saw 0.5 but. eddie strangerthings .
#only the bottom left is the actual. crossover. the rest is just eddie and david lol#top right* lmao?#creds 2 maaya_kitsune on instagram for the idea bc they drew nancy as amanda !!#WAIT THEY DREW ROBIN IN A SAW TRAP TOO. OH GOD OH FUCK ROBIN NOO#any way.#once i well up the courage 2 draw eddie in the reverse bear trap. that'll be my magnum opus#dont WORRY he would ESCAPE#he couldnt take a hundred hell bats but i think he could do that.#him and nancy🤝#itd be a. auh.nm. a bonding experience#gave myself anxiety thinking about. LMAO wouldnt it have sucked if like. if like someone with long hair unlocked it and threw it off at the#last second possible but it got caught in their hair. LMAO wouldnt that SUCK#ANYWAY#cowboy posts#jbs art tag#blood //#horror#death ment#idk ask 2 tag#i dont. i dont want to add any real tags to this. lol
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Whyyyy do I watch horror game let's plays when I KNOW it's gonna spike my paranoia something BAD
#im so stupid 🙃#it was the jerma stream of the mortuary assistant which was a hilarious stream but a scary game#i mean it wasnt like phasmophbia scary but it was... unsettling to say the least#and i just spent an hour reading lore on it bc he didnt get all the endings and i wanted to know why chat was yelling at him to grab#the necklace and coins if he didnt use em BUT it was bc the scene that you need to trigger to use those is randomly generated and he didnt#get them he did get the grandma one which was funny bc of how he reacted#anyway very interesting game! i like how you just think it's a mortician game until the second shift and youre like ohhh nooo...#and then the more times you play you can unlock different endings and learn more lore which was a cool mechanic#and having the haunts be randomly generated was also cool bc certain ones lead to different ''secret'' endings which gets the player to#keep playing over and over very nice#unfortunately my paranoia spikes h e a v i l y when i watch/read horror shit#i wish it didnt but its so stupid like i KNOW it's not real and that i wouldnt feel like this any other day had i not seen it which proves#that it's not real to my paranoia BUT IT DOESNT HELP BC MY BRAIN SUCKS#im trying to ''AND HERE COMES BOSHA WITH A STEEL CHAIR! AHHH HES GOT THE DEMON BY THE NOSE!!'' my way out of it but...#(ill picture my stuffed bear beating the shit out of whatever im paranoid ab and sometimes it helps like oh no worries Bosh has it#covered if any stupid monster comes here. boshas got it)#anywsy thats a lot of tags agdgdggdgdgdgd#marquilla
1 note
·
View note
Text
TW for my usual unhinged stance on puppets, if you're following me, you know. If you're not, I'm sorry (not sorry). ((If you're the author or narrator, I'm actually sorry.))
Okay, so because I'm allowed to be freaky on main about puppets on this site, I just wanna tell everyone, because everyone should know that creepypasta narrator Lighthouse Horror just posted a story (by author Alonso Solis) about an evil puppet show a few days ago, and I just listened, and I loved it.
youtube
Now onto freaky business:
Headcanoning the main char as a puppetfucker bc c'mon, that bromance, the way he lovingly describes Mr. Smiley's appearance, what he does before leaving the old studio towards the end... Just... Mmmm... *chef's kiss* love this kinda content. I'll sleep soundly dreaming I could have someone like that. Y'know? Big, glassy eyes, big grin, secret evil laugh, mildly self-animate...
#god i love puppets so much man especially the evil ones but not exclusively yknow#even the word puppet is cute like puppies and i feel warm and fuzzy inside no pun intended (who am i kidding. fully intended)#need me a freak like that#also should probably tw for the story just general creepypasta themes evil puppets kids dyin unreality dubious morality in the main char etc#thats not an exhaustive list tho im not qualified to give an exhaustive list this is a thirst post i just wanna cover all my bases here#puppets#man im not even posting about puppets on my puppet named blog (it was just recommended when i typed that)#and thats a damn shame lmao i should make more so i can revive that blog (its just my art blog i gave up on separating from the main)#suggestive#for the post not the video#creepypasta#(tagging for a tw sorry to put that in the tag if ppl use the tag i have no idea i dont usually post ab creepypastas on here but ...#... given i saw a bunch of ouppet stuff earlier i remembered i can be weird on here about puppets. i guess anywhere...#...but here feels natural to be weird ab them)#ngl i couldnt stop thinkin of ... you know who ... with the description and how the main char keeps him around all the time#mmmmmmmm otp5eva in a different flavour mmmmmmmmm#should probably also confess that#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#bc im probably gna regret typing all this tmr but fuck man#i love puppets dudeeeeeee i can scream about it forever#ok this is enough im getting too sappy im def gonna regret that#Cori.exe#Post.exe#video#horror#sorry steven and alonso lol i hope yall are too busy to see this im totally normal about puppets it was all a joke#((whispering to followers: its not a joke dont worry i wouldnt play u like that))#((puppetfucker 4 lyfe bruhhh believe it))#((fuck man i love them so much))#i want more evil puppet/etc horror content theres never enough to satisfy me i am insatiable about puppets in horror
0 notes
Text
hes likw you work fast i didnt even see you do this part like???? no one in my life has wver commented so much on how fast i work what the fuck
#and like!! we only have 3 hrs next week to finish this thing and most people have SO MANY blank spots#instead of commenting on me worry abt everyone else 😭#i dont even hate him like i dont like him but i dont hate him but i do find this incredibly annoying#he deliberately left me for last too#hes like oh you angled your background which is an odd choice#like YEAH bc then i wouldnt get a nice cast shadow???????#i feel like im going insane#michi tag
0 notes
Text
i feel normalhuman enough that i think i can post art from my instagram on here since theres stuff i like on there that id like to archive here
#my main reason for not cross posting for a long time is because well. im paranoid#that someone could connect the dots and like find my tumblr and twt#but ive realized the ppl im worried abt doing that definitely wont check tumblr#and i can archive things on ig#which i dont rlly wanna do atm bc most of my nights art is up on there and my nights mutuals r cool so#idk how ill do this i dont wanna post ll at once so i think over the next few days#influx of art that only i care about#and i wouldnt have it any other way#which reminds me would it be worth it making an art blog again#id have to reblog all my stuff onto there so soes that defeat the purpose#i already have my art tag which is more comprehensive#but maybe ill make one as a backup since reblogs dont dissappear#p
0 notes
Text
Status Effect: Anxious [-1] [-1] [-5] [-5] [-5] [-5] [-10] [-20]
status effect [Anxious] will increasingly lower health until it has been removed.
#bug talks#told my friend about the bigot in her server & she said she'd ban him#but like i get so anxious when complaining about stuff like that#cus ime it usually ends up with ppl downplaying it and making me seem crazy and overdramatic#but these guys seem like genuinely cool ppl#and even said that he was pretty annoying & seems like hes trying too hard to be offensive#so like i feel pretty confident they wont care if he gets banned#but they also tag him for game night all the time so im worried theyll be like 'you got our friend banned :-/'#but like - i would have stopped going to game night if he had stayed#and i knew she didnt know he was Like That bc he wouldnt do it in front of her#so fucked up#well little does he know im actually irl friends with his tiktok dream girl that he sends money and texted her ab his nasty shit#but im glad he was banned tbh#ive never felt So Uncomfortable
1 note
·
View note
Text
This is funny to exactly one person (me) but if Logan is the bard kings advisor that makes her the King's Ear lmaoo
Petition for King's Ear to be the ship name for logan x bard king for no reason other than my own amusement
#king's ear#i was worried that king's ear wouldnt be a unique tag bc it might be used for tlhod stuff but it seems fine!#rswr logan#rswr bard king
1 note
·
View note
Text
To send intrusive thoughts away I think "that's not helpful right now."
Which I just realised is super fucking funny because WHEN would they be helpful
#tag t.w for description of intrusive thoughts#me thinking in bed: mm warm. daydreams. what if there was a unicorn. what if you slit your wrists and killed yourself tonight? wouldnt you#look so pretty with blood dripping down your arms? youd finally be free. finally quiet from awful thoughts HEY thats not helpful right now#what if there was a unicorn... mm warm bed..#(its like one weird little bump in the daydream process)#dont worry im okay!! im not actually suicidal or anything. its just that i have intrusive thoughts. they dont actually bother me anymore#they dont upset me bc i can easily dismiss them now
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
catcobain87
the slime is taking over
mygladur
Truffle
nowimjustagirl-blog
Here with a boy she loves..
killothewisp
Kill-O'-The-Wisp