#bc of the reboot but also bc the world building LOOKS like it was trying so hard to change but barely did

[4filen0tfound4]

I love writing character analyses while on the verge of falling asleep it’s so . a .

[piastrinorris]

busy streets and busy lives • ralph penbury x reader

A strange day at work gets even stranger when you meet a man who claims he's from 1926. With no certainty as to when he can get back, you decide to take him in until that time arrives.

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Tags: Timewasters (series), modern!au, slow burn, mutual pining, idiots in love™, fluff, some angst, swearing and mentions of adult themes throughout, eventual adult content, alcohol content, penbury is a fanon surname

Word count: 9.3k

A/N: This thing's getting out of control at this rate! Not only do the chapters keep getting longer, I keep making more and more complicated assets to tell the story, too. I hope you like it!

Also, to all my patient angst queens (gn) out there - not sure how long it's gonna take me to write bc I'm sure it's going to RUIN ME but. Next chapter. Look out for it. :)

Also x2, big love to @steddiesandwich @joemazzmatazz and @heroeddiemunson especially for all the love and contributions they've given to this series. There's some special cameos from them especially somewhere in this chapter!

Another week goes by, another chance to check Ralph's social media numbers. Ever since he remained a trending topic on Twitter following his face reveal - along with the phrase “oh no he’s hot”, which your friends found hilarious but you found yourself feeling… Uncomfortable over. Every now and then you look up his name on social media sites, grateful that the name relatively died out to the point where he’s one of the most popular Ralphs these days, though it leaves you with a strange feeling in your stomach every time. 

There’s just something about the way people tend to objectify him - he’s your friend, and you know he’s so much more than the curls in his hair and the chain on his neck and his chocolate button eyes - a phrase becoming very common amongst his admirers. Arguably the worst part about that is that, either just because you’ve been seeing talk of nothing but those details, or maybe they’re all things you’d already appreciated about Ralph, but you find yourself more and more aware of them with every day that you live with him. And with still no word from Homeless Pete about whether the time machine is awake again. 

You even start to visit the building that Ralph had pointed out on that day 6 weeks ago for yourself, just to see if it really is taking that long to reboot, but it seems to be an ordinary lift every time you go to look at it. You’d be lying if you said you were anything other than relieved whenever the lift would work completely normally, even when you tried to replicate how Ralph had described Pete getting the two of them over here. 

If you were a stranger, looking in on Ralph every now and then, you’d have no reason to believe he wasn’t just your flatmate. He’s been getting more confident about his own role in the modern world, even going so far as to hold brunches for his girl gang, which you’d appreciate a lot more if he ever told you in advance when they’d happen. Though you can usually predict at this point that, if you’re having a rough day at work, you can guarantee you’ll be returning to a flat full of people that you can’t decompress around. 

Not that you didn’t like Ralph’s friends, of course you did - but you’ve been letting Ralph have this group to himself, so as not to make him fully co-dependent on you. You hope that, if anything, him having the confidence to keep up so many friends himself will translate once he’s back home and he can hopefully confront his sister. You know it’s a sore subject, and so you’ll never ask - and it’s not got anything to do with you, anyway - but you wonder whether he’ll seek Lauren out there as well. Whether the New Ralph will try to win her back, or realise that he deserves more than someone who even you know wouldn’t be compatible with him. But again, that’s none of your business. 

Today’s another day off, and you and Ralph are sat in your living space. With Ralph growing tentatively more aware of what social media is actually for, he’s accumulated many questions about it that you’d told him you’d have to dedicate a whole day to answering, and that day has finally arrived. 

“Okay, first things first,” Ralph starts, crossing his legs on the sofa cushion beneath him and opening a book he had bought a couple of weeks back. “Who is mister Stanley Loona and why do people insist on telling me his name all the time?” 

You promised yourself you wouldn’t laugh in his face, that just because internet lingo is second nature to you doesn’t mean that Ralph is silly for not understanding. But Mr Stanley Loona immediately cracked you. Once you calm down, you apologise profusely. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I really didn’t want to do that! But, stan in this sense isn’t a name, it’s a verb. To stan something is to be a really, really big fan of it. Loona spelled the way you see it, that’s a Korean pop group.” 

“That explains all the dancing ladies that accompany that name, then,” Ralph mutters under his breath as he scrawls on his notepad some more. You bite your knuckle so as not to laugh again. “So, if I were to express my gratitude to you, would I say that I stan you?”

You feel your face get warm. “Well - not exactly, stanning is more of a parasocial thing, between fan and celebrity, or character, or franchise. For example, you might call yourself an Audrey 2 stan,” you smirk as you jerk your head over to the TV screen, where Ralph has requested Little Shop of Horrors for the fifth time since he’s been here. 

He looks at the TV in awe for a moment, “That puppeteering work is just spectacular, isn’t it?!” You’d felt your emotions rise and then drop fleetingly. He’d once referred to something as being “wizard”, and you’d been dying to hear it again, but clearly it must have been a phrase reserved for the most truly special of things. He clears his throat as he reads down his list. “Anyway, next question. Why does everyone feel the need to tell me about their lack of headgear when I ask for clarification on something?” 

You rack your brain for a moment before it clicks, “Do you mean that they say the words “no cap”?” Ralph nods. “That’s just another way of saying “no lie”, it means they want you to know they’re telling the truth. Remember, we talked about fact checking the things you read for the first time before you believe them?” 

Ralph frowns, “Listen here, it would not be entirely uncommon for a Penbury to be loosely related to royalty, we’ve always had ties with high society for generations -” 

“Something tells me that maybe you’re probably not closely related enough to a Nigerian prince that they’d be genuinely emailing you to offer you a share in their fortune,” you reach out to pat his knee before smirking. “And the less said about your potential investment in enhancement pills, the better.” 

“Moving on,” Ralph quickly continues with deliberation, his ears growing pink again. “So, when you posted that photo of me, the one where I had been wearing a red scarf. It seemed to make a lot of people sad,” he frowns. “And they kept telling me I was in an era that I didn’t recognise, the one of Jake Geel- Guy- G-” He sighs in frustration as he flips his book around to show you the name he’s copied down perfectly, but you’ve already figured it out, and texted both Anna and Grace to let them know that the time has come to show Ralph the full video of All Too Well. 

Neither of them respond to your text, but they’re both at the flat within ten minutes, thankfully interrupting the second after Ralph deadpan asks you for the definition of the word “bussy”. 

The girls are a little taken aback at the sight of Ralph, which worries him, but they answer his concerned expression with, “Oh, sorry, there’s nothing wrong! Just so used to seeing you always looking smartly dressed. Strange seeing you in pyjamas.” 

Ralph frowns, “Well, yes, you must always look smart, even in your resting hours, that’s why I got these matching pyjama sets! They don’t quite seem to be what they used to be, but I’ve been getting rather used to sleeping in shirts without buttons!” 

“I’m not sure how Pokémon PJs could be considered “smart”, but you do you, bud,” Anna ruffles his hair, which he sits upright to lean into happily. Between that and his co-opting of Grace’s love of pet names, he’s become very comfortable amongst your friends’ presence. Even if you do have to find ways to make sure they don’t see you react every time Ralph calls anyone “darling”. 

“Poke them on? What am I supposed to poke?” Ralph asks, pressing the graphic of the yellow creature on his shirt. 

Anna smiles, “No, Ralph, those are Pokémon. That’s Pikachu.” 

“God bless you,” Ralph looks Anna in the eye immediately, straight faced as anything, before looking around for a box of tissues. 

“Oh my god,” you groan under your breath, hanging your head as your friends laugh. “You know, the Pokémon ones aren’t even his worst set.” 

“I got some that have a man named Rick on them who became a pickle, no less!” Ralph explains excitedly, his nose wrinkling as his head bobs back and forth. “The shop assistant assured me that it was quite hilarious when it happened.” 

“This isn’t even the worst thing he’s said this morning,” you look at the girls in despair. “I’ll never let Connor take him shopping alone again.” They promise not to, either, and you gesture for them to join you around the TV. Before you can reposition yourself to allow for them to sit between you and Ralph, Anna has sat herself on the other side of Ralph to you, and Grace is on the floor. 

Ralph’s brow furrows. “Grace, please, allow me to sit in your place and you up here, the floor is no place for a lady to be sitting -” 

Grace interrupts, in her classic way, “Women can do anything, Ralph!” 

He frowns, “I hardly think that sitting on the floor is something that anyone should aspire to, regardless of gender, but I suppose if you must.” Grace and Anna exchange similar expressions that you can’t quite get a read on as you set up the video to play. 

Ralph’s first thought as it starts is, “Well, that actress certainly looks far too young to be playing the part of this man’s partner believably!” 

“Keep watching,” Anna hushes, though it’s only Ralph that’s looking at the screen; the three of you anxiously await his reactions to the whole video. He pulls faces of disgust at every loved-up scene, and positively scowls when Dylan O’Brien drops Sadie Sink’s hand. 

“Now, why would she possibly return to him after that godawful apology?!” he exclaims. “He was clearly just telling her what she wanted to hear, there was no weight behind that at all!” 

“We were all young and stupid once, Ralphie babes,” Grace shakes her head. 

“But surely these men would want something far more enriching with someone their own -” Ralph falters as he remembers how he and his twin had found their father on the day he had passed away. He had always found it strange that they’d found him lying naked on top of a far younger woman, and his mother’s rushed explanation of them both performing a specific style of Chinese acrobatics never quite seemed to ring true. He shrinks down in the seat as he watches, quietly seething. 

He does seem to perk up ever so slightly when he sees the protagonist celebrating her birthday surrounded by her own friends. “I’m glad she saw what an awful man he was and left him,” he muses. 

“Oh no, he broke up with her,” you explain, and Ralph’s expression once again shifts to that of total horror. 

“What?!” he exclaims. “And she was just turning 21?! What an awful, awful man.” 

“Yeah, when it actually happened to the real couple, his PR team came out and said it was all because the two of them were in the limelight so much.” 

“Ridiculous,” Ralph spits, scowling as he folds his arms. 

“Yeah, so that’s why now she’s getting her side of the story out there.” 

“Good for her! As she should,” Ralph nods, earning himself another head pat from Anna. He gasps loudly, “Wait!” and rushes to the bedroom, soon emerging with the red scarf that prompted this whole situation, though he holds it as though it’s diseased. “Do you think she would like this one? Could we send it to her as a present?” 

A chorus of aww s comes from your friends as you shake your head, “It’s fine, mate, and you don’t even have to throw it away, really.” 

He looks at it, and then pulls a face. “No, I can’t. Red has never especially been my colour, anyway.” 

The girls continue teaching Ralph about Taylor Swift’s relationship history as you inform the boys enquiring in the group chat as to where everyone is. They’re talking about how she’s always written her own songs when Anna asks, “Do you play any instruments, Ralph?” 

His eyes light up, “Oh, yes! I must say, leaving home… The way that I did, I do miss my ukulele.” Your eyes dart quickly to see if the girls react to Ralph talking about leaving home, but thankfully that’s not the part that they focus on. 

They excitedly ask him about his craft as you text the one friend you know can help you give Ralph a little bit of his old life back: 

You also tell Scott that Connor is coming over, and he lets you know that he may as well complete the group. 

Connor does, however, groan when he and Scott walk through the door, “We did not come all this way to listen to Taylor Swift the whole time.” 

Ralph frowns at his new favourite artist being disrespected, but you pat his shoulder comfortingly. “Why don’t you play us a song?” Everyone else nods excitedly as Connor hands him the instrument, but Ralph looks unsure as he starts strumming.  

“Well, I don’t really know any actual songs, I just know the chords and then I write my own,” Ralph admits, his ears getting pink. 

Scott looks at him and gasps excitedly. “I beg, play one of your songs for us!” 

“Oh, codswallop, you don’t want to hear any of that!” You could fry something on the poor man’s ears, they were that red. 

Instead, in a bid to satiate everyone, you tell your Echo to play Queen, but it doesn’t recognise your voice, as you’d forgotten until this moment. Sighing in half-hearted frustration, you ask Ralph, “Can you ask it to just play Queen , please?” 

Ralph shuffles in his seat, shimmies his shoulders and grins proudly as he looks around all of your friends. “I’m the machine’s best friend, you know, it only wants to listen to me!” 

“He set it up to be locked on his voice?” Connor asks, amused. 

“And figured out he could use it to buy things,” you smile sarcastically, flicking your eyes over to a new pair of shoes sitting just by the door. 

“So it’s not you that’s suddenly into tap dancing, then? Shame,” Scott teases as you flip him off. 

“He did also order me those as an apology,” you gesture at the arrangement of a variety of flowers that sits on your coffee table. “Though off my account, so really it was a gift to and from myself.” 

“Do you all mind, please?” Ralph asks shortly, and you all fall silent. “Thank you.” He clears his throat. “Alexa, darling, be a gem and play some Queen music for my friends, won’t you, please?” 

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

He frowns, “My speech was quite clear, was it not?!” 

You squeeze your eyes shut as you pinch the bridge of your nose, to everyone else’s quiet titters. “Three words, mate. That’s all you need to say.” 

Ralph’s eyes widen with fear as he shakes his head. “That thing already knows how to do too much, once it gains full sentience, I want it to see me as an ally!” 

“Then just add a single please at the end,” you explain, resigned, which he does to his own chagrin. 

While Ralph doesn’t know any of the songs, obviously, he does seem to be enjoying listening out for how chord progressions go and trying to play along with them. He seems at peace with the instrument. It’s very sweet to watch. 

Connor pulls you out of your trance by loudly exclaiming from behind you, “Speaking of good old fashioned lover boys!” You cringe at your friend’s segue, terrified at what that could insinuate. “Hey Ralphie, have you managed to pull yet?" 

He looks at you, confused, and mouths, Pull?

You roll your eyes and shake your head before addressing your friend again. "Ralph's had enough to learn just being here, and besides, I am not laying out here while he goes at it with some stranger in my bed, thank you!" You can't even think about Ralph kissing anyone else, let alone… No. Absolutely not. 

When you look back over at Ralph, his ears resemble a pair of Polish flags. “Gadzooks, certainly not! I couldn’t - I would never - not even - that would take months of courting!” 

Your warning stares at your friends to not laugh at the word gadzooks doesn’t last through the mention of courting. “It’s… A bit different around here these days, Ralph. You know those things on your phone, the apps?” He nods. “And how there’s apps for everything?” Another nod. “Well, there are apps that help you connect with potential… Suitors,” even you have to bite your lip as you try to translate the likes of Tinder into Ralphspeak. “You make a profile with photos and a description of yourself, and you look at other peoples profiles to see if you like them. If you both like each other, you can talk to each other and arrange to see each other from there.” 

Ralph looks entirely perplexed, but he still hands his phone over to an excited Scott. “Right, do we use a photo from his Insta that’s already doing numbers? That way we know what’s gonna be the best received.” 

Grace shakes her head, “Nah, anyone who recognises him will just think it’s a catfish.” 

Ralph leans close to you to ask quietly, “Why would they -” 

“They’re not gonna think you’re a fish, Ralph,” you groan back in the same volume. “A catfish is someone who pretends to be someone else on the internet. So, what photo do we use?” You hope they don’t ask to look through your camera roll. You’re forever taking candids as potential shots for Ralph’s social media, but the ratio of photos you take versus ones you feel are good enough to post may give your friends ideas about just why you take so many photos of him. And you don’t need that to add even more complications to what is already the most bizarre two months of your life. 

“Definitely a brand new one, right off the bat,” Grace nods. 

“Could we not use one that already exists that nobody’s seen? Anyone got any of those?” Connor asks. You quickly shake your head, keeping your phone out of sight. He frowns, “All I’ve got is group photos.” 

“Oh, never have a group photo as your first one,” Anna shakes her head. “Why don’t we just let Ralph choose how to have his first photo, without our judgement? It’s his profile, after all.” 

Despite their complaints, the others agree to let Ralph decide what photo he should take, though you do suggest that perhaps he change out of his Pokémon pyjamas first. Your friends are quick to hurry him, reminding him that he only really needs to change his top half. 

The sight that befalls you within the next twenty minutes is arguably one of your most favourite Ralph moments. There he stands, against the back wall in your flat, wearing a smart polo shirt with bottoms that are adorned with Bulbasaurs, Squirtles and Charmanders; and after having plucked out a rose from the arrangement of flowers that he’d ordered for you and inspecting it for a while, Ralph had decided that the most charming way to pose with it would be to put it between his lips. You and your friends all look to each other to silently react without Ralph catching on, and everyone seems to silently agree that the best way to do so is to stare at Anna in a way that lets her know she’s entirely responsible for this, which she takes from everyone quite happily. It puts you at ease that all your friends are just accepting him as merely being a bit quirky, rather than anything suspicious. 

Scott takes the official photos, and you’re happily documenting the behind the scenes for it all to look back on someday. Or later that night. Who’s to say? After Scott deems that the perfect shot has been taken, you all crowd around to decide what else to include. Connor comes up with the idea of creating a slideshow presentation in which you all contribute to help “sell” Ralph. He agrees to it quite happily, putting faith in everyone else’s knowledge of the modern dating world over his own lack thereof. 

After much deliberation, and some creative brainstorming amongst the five of you, you create the perfect Tinder profile for him: 

Once it’s all uploaded, Connor and Anna teach Ralph how to use the app, showing him how to read bios, look through others’ photos and ultimately swipe either way on them. Ralph still finds it all unusual to judge people so superficially, but Grace assures him from a distance that it’ll come with time. 

While the idea of Ralph having a Tinder account did seem funny to you at the time, something doesn’t sit right in the bottom of your stomach. The idea of Ralph dating? Hilarious. The reality of it? Of him finding someone he’s attracted to, of him falling in love with someone els- someone, of him leaving you and the flat to start a life with them? How would you explain Ralph’s situation to them? What if they wanted to get married, have a family? The thought of Ralph becoming someone else’s husband just doesn’t compute. Maybe this was a bad idea after all, maybe once everyone’s gone home you can scare him away from it. But then, who are you to deny Ralph a little fun while he’s here? Surely, dating around might be a good experience for him, especially around the new friends he’s made. It’d be a good confidence booster for when he returns to his own time. It might even teach him not to fall as fast and hard for people as he did for Lauren. Or to be the kind of person that wins her back. Whatever he wants. The pros of him dating massively outweigh the cons, but there’s still something in your heart of hearts warning you against it. 

At the end of the day, you tell yourself, Ralph is a grown man. Only he can decide if he is ready to date someone. It’s your job, as his friend, to support him even with all his… Extra stuff. 

The gang suggests going out for a late lunch, but as you prove by gesturing to your own questionably mismatched outfit, you’d originally hoped you could take today as a laundry day. It's too late to start now, though; with the sheer amount you've got to get through, it's a full-day devotion, and now that you're all ramped up from the day's events, there's no possible way you could focus on something as mundane as washing your clothes. Instead, you all order in and pass time with some games while Ralph happily strums away in the background. 

You occasionally pick up on him singing lyrics such as, “It’s easy to see yourself / through a negative lens / but it’s certainly harder / when surrounded by friends” and feel yourself welling up. As if the fact that he had changed into your favourite sweater of his, the blue mohair one that Connor had written that extra-cheesy joke about in Ralph’s profile, wasn’t enough to make your heart soar. He looks the very epitome of comfort right now. 

Then Ralph gets a notification. He’s got a match! He’s thrilled, bragging about how the app found his ideal match immediately, when Connor had been talking about being on it for several years by now. The rest of the group explain that Tinder is not a matchmaking service in the sense that he thinks, and that it simply means someone he’s swiped right on has done the same to him. Connor and Scott help him communicate in a succinct, non-Ralph way that allows him to quickly arrange a date for tomorrow. That knot in the depths of your stomach wrenches tighter, but you ignore it, for the sake of Ralph’s excitement. 

Connor encourages him to keep swiping still, in case he gets any more matches, and that way he can arrange even more dates! It takes Ralph a while to accustom to the modern world of dating, rather than just seeking out one person and “courting” them, as he would say, but he gets excited at the prospect of going out on dates. He doesn’t mention anything about any more matches, but he does lock himself in the bathroom for some time. You know that usually means he’s talking to his girl gang about important things; ever since that first night out, Ralph’s convinced himself that the only place to have a deep conversation with his new friends is anywhere that there’s a toilet, and quite frankly, the notion is too hilarious for you to correct him. Plus it gives him a little privacy, and you definitely don’t want him to keep relying on you for the entire duration of his stay in this era. 

That night, as you lay out on your sofa, wondering if your back will ever get used to a mattress again, you notice one particular notification buried amongst the others: 

Tinder Someone has Super Liked you! Find out who. 

You admittedly hadn’t been swiping for a hot minute, yourself - you’ve been somewhat preoccupied with a whole new flatmate to worry about - but since it was the topic of the day, you figure you’ll bite. A few ordinary profiles show up, but none of them take your fancy. Even the cute ones, their bios are just so… Dry . And then you see it. The profile that Super Liked you, the blue border perfectly coordinating with the artwork that hangs on the wall behind you. 

~~~ 

The following morning, Ralph awakens earlier than usual. He’s excited about his date tonight, and still conflicted about something else that had happened last night. He looks through the group chat app again to remind himself of his friends’ advice: 

If you don’t say anything about it, neither will Ralph, but if you do, then it’s time to sit down and discuss these feelings like the adults you both are. That’s what he tells himself. 

Ralph takes a deep breath before opening the door from the bedroom into the main part of the flat. You’re in the kitchen area, finishing off your breakfast with a duffel bag full of clothes resting on the counter. It appears that almost all of your clothes must be in there, since you’ve resorted to wearing one of Ralph’s most favourite T-shirts that he’d picked out himself. The way that it fits your form so differently to Ralph captivates him into silence, and the fact that it almost covers your pyjama shorts entirely feels so scandalous to him. He has to stop looking, or else his mind will wander to uncouth places, but he just can’t . 

Not until you catch his eyesight and groan as you roll your own eyes at him. “Morning, Ralph! Don’t worry, I’ll make myself “decent” now that you’re out, I think I’ve got some yoga pants shoved in the back of the wardrobe from that one New Year when I was convinced I would join the gym,” your voice disappears as you walk past him and shut the door behind you. 

Ralph makes himself some cereal, once again telling himself that he has to stop living in this secret. Especially if he’s to pursue other people. 

You re-emerge from the bedroom, now wearing bottoms that cover your entire legs, but they may as well not at all be, with how little they leave to the imagination. You ask, “Oh yeah, by the way, did you… Happen to find my profile on Tinder last night? Because I think you must have swiped up instead of left, and Super Liked me by accident.” 

“Accident!” Ralph exclaims hurriedly, squeezing his eyes shut and open again, and clenching and releasing his fist repeatedly, desperate to change his focus onto anything else. “Yes, that's entirely what that was, I’m so glad we cleared that up! Aha! I suppose I should get ready for my date now!” 

You frown, “That’s not for hours yet, and Scott said he’d take you to get ready while I - don't forget your cereal!” You call out after him as he rushes back into the bathroom but the door closes behind him before you can finish your sentence. You write on the whiteboard that you keep on your fridge that you’re going to be at the laundromat for most of the day doing your laundry, but that Scott is arriving at 12 o’clock to take him out clothes shopping and to help him get ready, as you’ll be busy. You leave him your bank card to take with him on his big date, and wish him well before heading out of the door. 

Ralph rests his phone against the bathroom wall, goes onto the only group he trusts himself to keep on WhatsApp and hits the video call button before immediately pacing the room. One by one, his friends pick up, all asking various questions. 

“What happened?”

“Did you talk about it?”

“Are you okay?”

“Did you have an argument?”

Ralph blinks harshly again, his arms gesticulating with a deliberate wildness to them. “You all remember that the plan was, say nothing unless I’m spoken to, and then tell the truth, no matter what?” 

“Yeah…”

“Well, I may have been… Distracted. And I may have shouted that it was an accident and ran into here.” 

“Oh, babe, you didn’t.”

“Ralph!”

“We had a plan, hun! We mapped it all out!”

“I know, I know!” Ralph holds his hands on top of his head. “I was so ready, I was telling myself the plan over and over, and then… Well, it’s so-called laundry day, and I’ve had more time to get mine done and so my clothes were the only clean ones and -” 

“Oof, god, yeah. Once you see your crush wearing your clothes, it is game over.”

“Oh, Ralphie, what are we gonna do with you?”

“Well, the damage has been done, now. It’s probably best to just… I guess, either try and get over how you’re feeling, or wait until another opportunity arises. If it does.”

“Yeah, honestly, babes, I’d say cut your losses for the day and focus on your big date tonight, that’s so exciting for you!”

“Oh my god, you’re gonna tell us everything, aren’t you?”

Ralph sighs, rubs his eyes and puts on a small smile. “Yes, of course I will. Thank you all for being my voices of reason, I do appreciate you.” 

“Anytime, my lovely. Now, tell us all about this date. Where is it you’re going?”

“Well, Scott knows the location, but apparently it’s some kind of cocktail bar that plays swing and jazz and all the music that I like! I do hope there’ll be dancing,” he places his elbow on the sink to rest his head wistfully onto his fist, to an adoring chorus from the girls. They all sign off, wishing Ralph the best, and he hangs up, too. Right, Penbury, he tells himself, there’s nothing more you can do. You’ve messed up one more avenue of your love life, let’s not let it ruin another. 

Instead, he focuses on his date tonight. He knows the exact look he wants to go for. And so, despite the comments he gets on how nice he looks, he just can’t justify having facial hair with such a smart outfit in mind. 

Scott almost doesn’t recognise him, and calls Ralph “baby face” all day. It’s not his favourite nickname, but he’s been called worse. Scott helps him to pick out a nice suit with a bow tie - Scott had had the audacity to suggest Ralph wear a neck tie, for crying out loud - that Ralph liked because it reminded him of a suit he had back at home. Light tan in colour, with pinstripes down it. Just like his everyday going out suit. Scott had turned his nose up at it, but had admitted that “vintage” isn’t his style, anyway. Ralph had wanted to get a straw boater to really complete the look, but Scott wouldn't let him wear it past taking a photo. 

Ralph gets ready at Scott’s apartment, a little more upscale than the flat, but he shares it with his partner. Ralph had only met him a few times, but he was always absolutely besotted with everything Ralph had to say, and Ralph couldn’t deny that he loved the attention. It was always Victoria that everyone wanted. But not here. People know the name Ralph here. Not The Penbury Boy, not Victoria’s Brother, or That Other One. Not Creepy Stalker. Just Ralph. 

Scott and his partner help preen Ralph for his big night out at Ralph’s request, but they both audibly groan when he teaches them the hairstyle his old staff would give him - though of course, he omitted the involvement of any “staff” from his explanation. 

“First the beard, and now you want me to gel down the curls? You’re killing me here, Ralphie. Literally taking years off my life,” Scott frowns as he pats down Ralph’s hair. 

“I shall remember you fondly,” Ralph jokes, making Scott’s partner laugh. 

“Rude!” Scott scoffs jokingly. “You’ve spent too much time with that flatmate of yours.” 

Ralph’s heart still sinks thinking about his blunder this morning. Instead, he goes back to teasing Scott by composing an obituary as he styles his hair for him. 

After a few final looks in the mirror, Ralph feels as though he’s gone back in time, as though the last 6 weeks had never happened. Another wave of sadness befalls him at that thought, but he pushes it aside. His nerves are a calling card for any negativity to overwhelm him, and he was determined to have a good time. 

Scott walks him to the bar and waits outside with him until someone recognises him. As an extra measure to protect him from any radical internet followers, Scott borrows Ralph's phone to corroborate that he's definitely meeting his date, returns the phone back to Ralph with the reminder to ring you first and him second if anything happens, and bids the pair adieu. 

Once he's gone, Ralph greets his companion for the evening by taking her hand and gently dusting her knuckles with his lips. She looks him up and down strangely, turning her nose up as she pulls back her hand slowly. Ralph could do the same, she certainly isn’t dressed for the occasion, but he won’t, because he’s a gentleman.

She does try to make the effort to get to know Ralph, at first. Making small talk about how he came to this part of London, he tells her he was simply looking to get away from his old life. She asks him what he does for a living, and seems to judge him again for saying that he was yet to find employment. 

She lets him buy her a martini, despite him having ordered that with the intention of drinking it. She seemed to already be judging him for potentially ordering that drink for himself, so he ordered one of the only other drinks he knows that he likes - a double whiskey and lemonade, courtesy of Scott himself. She doesn’t seem to disapprove, at least. 

Barely anybody in this place seems to be in the spirit of things. They’re all just standing. Talking. There’s a very sweet older couple in the corner who are dancing away, that Ralph watches wistfully. He gestures over to them, looking at his date. “Rather lovely,” he notes. “Do you dance, at all?” 

“Not like that,” she shakes her head. 

“Would you like me to show you?” He asks excitedly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

She rubs her arm awkwardly. “I’m good, thanks. Nobody else is doing it, it’d be weird if we started.” 

“Right. Right, of… Of course it would,” Ralph falters, dejected. 

“I need to use the ladies’ room,” his date states plainly. 

Ralph nods, “Of course, I shall be waiting right here!” 

As she walks away from him, Ralph decides he can still smooth things over by buying her another drink. He buys himself another double whiskey lemonade, for liquid courage, and the lady another martini, and returns to the spot he promised he’d wait for her. 

And he waits. 

And he waits. 

He sips his drink. 

And he waits. 

When he finally turns around to ask a member of staff to check on her, he’s met with many a sympathetic look. Ralph may not know a lot about dating in the modern age, but he knows that look when he sees it a mile off. Downing both the whiskey mix and the martini, he finds a quiet corner and takes out his phone. 

~~~ 

You’d been a fool for going to the laundromat in October with just Ralph’s T-shirt and a light jacket on. Being in a heated building means nothing if the front door is being left open all the damn time. Checking the time on your machines, you deduce that you just about have enough time to drive back, very quickly grab an extra layer and drive back. 

Rushing into your flat, you look around for anything that you could throw on that’s within arm’s reach. Nothing in the living area. Nothing in the kitchen area. Nothing in the bathroom. Desperate, you burst into the bedroom and you see it.

You’ve loved that blue jumper of Ralph’s from the moment you’d first seen it on him. You’d called it his Cookie Monster jumper, though of course that went over his head. It’s always looked so soft, and he’s forever burying his face in his arms when he wears it. It’s sickeningly adorable to be around. You’ve always wished you could experience its comfort for yourself, but Ralph would never let it out of his sight, and you very rarely get the opportunity to offer Ralph a hug without it potentially causing any more confusion in the nature of your friendship with him; certainly never so while he has ever worn the jumper. 

And so you jump at the chance to finally experience it for yourself. Throwing it on, not only are you immediately comforted with the soft sensation against your skin, but a familiar smell wafts around you. The ultimate makeup of the olfactory cocktail that is Ralph Penbury’s signature smell. 

You wonder how he’s getting on as you rush back out to your car. Whether he’s picked his outfit or if Scott’s moulded him in his own image. Whether he’s excited, scared, confident. Whether he plans on kissing her at the end of the night. 

You hit the steering wheel with the heel of your hand. Why are you worrying about these things? You never do when Connor, Grace or Anna go out. Perhaps it’s because you’re so used to being on 24/7 Ralph alert that not having him around keeps you on edge. But he’s bound to go home soon. And then you’ll be in this Ralph-less void all the time. That’s far, far worse a fate. And yet, cruelly, it’s the inevitable one. 

You make it just in time for the washing machine to chime. Throwing your clothes into the industrial sized dryer, you sit and scroll through your phone. You check the numbers of Ralph’s last Instagram photo, and end up reading through the comments from all of his little fans. None of them know that he could disappear off of social media at a moment’s notice. 

Except, now he could never truly disappear. Whenever he goes back, whenever his fifteen minutes of internet fame are up, he’s left his permanent mark on the world. On you, your friends, even all these people. Though they only see Ralph superficially. They see his photos, and his twitter presence, and they think they know him, especially since he learned how to reply to people when they would ask him questions. Sure, they know that he prefers strawberry ice cream, and that his favourite Gilmore Girls character is Paris, but they don’t know that he ties his shoes with bunny ears. They don't get to see that no matter how wild his bed hair is in the morning, one curl always falls across his forehead. They don’t know that he smells like citrus with an extra whiff of cinnamon. 

You bury your face beneath the sweater you’re wearing and breathe in deeply. An elderly woman looks at you fondly, and you bring yourself back to reality, sitting upright and switching to a puzzle game on your phone instead. You're already fooling yourself with these delusions of imagining a life where Ralph's a more permanent fixture. You can't be letting the locals believe it, too. That's just for you. 

Once your laundry's dry, you quickly fold it as neat as you can back into the bag you'd brought with you and throw the bag into the back of your car. Once you’re home, you just can’t find the energy to unpack it all. And besides, putting it away in your bedroom furniture only means you have access to it whenever Ralph isn’t there. Perhaps it’s better to keep these clothes out here in the living room, anyway. 

You laugh to yourself as you go to the kitchen to find enough things to cook together to make a decent meal. If you’d have been told 3 months ago that in the very near future, you’d be living out of a bag, sleeping on your own sofa, all for the sake of a man that you’d just met, you’d have never believed them. And yet, here you are. 

Once your food is made, you settle on your sofa and find something new to watch - because heaven forbid you watch one of your ongoing series without Ralph, he’d be giving you the silent treatment for the rest of the night. 

You wonder how his evening is going. He should be at the bar by now. No word from Scott, though you wouldn’t exactly expect him to check in with you about Ralph’s date. Although perhaps a photo in the group chat wouldn’t have gone amiss. No word from Ralph, either. 

You’re rooting for the iguana on your screen to outrun the predators that chase it, despite David Attenborough commentating his lack of faith, and it’s just escaped a tight bind as your phone rings. A particular jarring photo of your flatmate smiling his animatronic-esque fake smile fills your screen, along with the word “rALPH”. 

You answer, “This better be an emergency, I’m on high alert right now.” 

“Alert? In what way?”

“I’ve got an iguana I’m trying to save from some killer snakes, it’s life or death here, Ralphie.” 

“Ah, right! You’re watching one of those programmes about nature again.”

“Everything alright? You sound… Sad.” 

“Yes, well…”

“How’s your date going?” 

“It, um… It rather isn’t.”

“What?!” 

“She - She told me she was going to the women’s room. Approximately forty minutes ago.”

“Oh, Ralph. You should have called sooner!" 

“And this place is nothing like I had thought it would be, nobody is giving it the respect it deserves, I’m the only one appropriately dressed and yet somehow I am the one who sticks out like a sore thumb!”

“Okay, okay, it’s alright, mate. Get to the toilet, get yourself all sorted out, I'm on my way. Make sure you’re in the right one this time, too!” 

“Ha-ha. Very funny.”

“Oh, I know I am. I’ll be there as soon as I can, alright?” 

While you’re still not quite ready to say goodbye to the sweater just yet, you do fish out a far nicer lower half of an outfit to go with it, before heading out the door and following Google Maps’ directions to this bar. 

When you enter, you look around trying to find your friend. The first scan yields no results. Neither does the second. You’re about to take your phone out to call him again when you notice a very sad, very baby-faced Ralph talking to a bartender. He looks just like he did when you first met him - without the coffee you’d spilled over his back, of course. 

You speed your pace up as you head towards him, and he doesn’t even notice you approaching until you pat his arm. He looks close to tears when he makes eye contact with you, and you immediately pull him into a hug. That clean, citrusy scent of his gets stronger as he wraps himself around you. When you start to relent, he doesn’t. With a small chuckle of defeat, you return to hugging him tightly again. 

Eventually he lets go, and so you do as well, rubbing his arm comfortingly as you pull away. “You look dapper,” you comment, “really smart.” 

Ralph wrinkles his nose up as he waves you off, “It’s… Really not as appropriate here as I thought.” 

“Codswallop!” You grin, putting on your best Ralph voice, which makes him smile, too. “Best dressed one here, hands down.” 

“I do seem to be a style icon of yours,” he muses, poking at the sweater. “It’s very becoming on you.” 

“Thanks, Ralphie,” you smile, trying desperately not to blush. Instead, you pull the sleeves over your hands and ask, “You still got my card?” He nods and fumbles through his pockets to grab it and hand it to you. You lean over the bar to order two of your usual drink, and one martini for Ralph. 

The bartender hisses through their teeth. “You sure? He’s already had one along with the others, he doesn’t seem in a good place to be mixing his drinks too much tonight.” 

You frown, “Oh, then sure, whatever he’s been having, get him another one of those.” 

You smile at the impact Scott’s clearly had on Ralph with his change in drink choice. Clinking your glass with his, you finish both of your drinks in the time he finishes his one, to try and catch up with him. 

As he swills the remaining ice cubes around the bottom of his glass, a high-energy song starts to play. You grin as you outstretch your hand, “Wanna put our kitchen dance lessons to the test with me?” 

Ralph looks at you sceptically, but his excitement is palpable. “Oh, heavens, we’d be the only ones dancing!” 

You shrug, “So? We’d be the only ones doing it right, everyone else would be the weird ones.” 

Ralph nods, “Very well,” and takes your hand. You don’t see it as you’re leading him to the dance floor area, but he’s putting all his energy into not looking completely giddy with happiness. 

The two of you dance together for several songs, swinging and twirling and laughing away. You nudge Ralph to show him that you’d even inspired some other coupl- other pairs of people , you correct yourself, not wanting to slip up and accidentally refer to yourself and Ralph as a couple in front of him. Other pairs of people are now dancing just like you two were. Ralph looks around in awe just as the music slows considerably. 

He looks at you with uncertainty, squeezing his eyes and his hands as he does when he’s conflicted or trying to correct himself, though he’s yet to say anything to you. “May I - I mean, we - would you like to - we could stop now, if you like, or -” 

You cut Ralph off by placing your hands on his shoulders. He places his ever so tentatively on your hips as you sway from side to side together. “Thank you,” he mutters to you. 

“Well, you seemed close to having a stroke over getting your words out, figured I had a good shot at guessing what you wanted before I had to call for help!” 

He chuckles softly, “Not just for that. For… Everything, really. Over the last two months. I really haven’t shown you the proper gratitude.” 

“I’ve not been keeping you around for gratitude’s sake, Ralph,” you shake your head. “You’re not that bad to be around, you know,” you smirk. “I’m sorry that girl didn’t see that in you. But I’m proud of you for trying!” 

“I don’t think I want to try much more,” he tells you quietly. 

“Don’t blame you. I gave up a while ago, myself,” you admit. “But you did it! I bet the Ralph I first met wouldn’t have done this.” 

“I am quite the changed man, thanks to you,” he says with a small smile. 

“You sure don’t look it at the moment! I don’t know who this is, but I’m looking forward to getting Ralph back when we’re home.” 

He frowns, “But this is how I always looked before I met you!” 

“I know, but it just doesn’t… Suit you. Not like your new look. I mean, I guess if you go back in time looking like The New Ralph, everyone back there would think otherwise, but… I dunno,” you shrug your shoulders. “This doesn’t feel like the real Ralph.” Recalling a conversation you’d had with him a couple of weeks ago about how he was perceived back in his time, you add, “This is just That Penbury Boy.” 

“I like that you all see a side of me that you don’t mind having around,” Ralph admits bashfully. “And I like spending time with you - all.” 

“We love having you around too,” you grin. “But I am being serious, I’ll hold your head under the bathroom sink here if we don’t get that shit washed out of your hair soon.” 

Ralph laughs, stepping out of the hold to extend his arm out to you. You take it and walk out of the building with him. 

You laugh at the ooh! that comes out from him as you step out into the brisk air. “Yeah, all that whiskey finally kicking in?” You ask with amusement. 

Ralph shakes his head, blowing a raspberry sound out into the air. “Just a tad!” 

“I’m excited to see what Whiskey Ralph is like,” you muse, still keeping your arm around his as you lead him down the street. 

He frowns, “Are there different versions of me based on what I drink?!” 

“Different versions of Drunk Ralph, yeah,” you grin. “Martini Ralph is super sociable. Vodka Ralph, an emotional wreck. We stay away from vodka,” you warn, and he nods, remembering the shot he had taken weeks ago and shuddering again. “And from what you’ve told me, Champagne Ralph really loved to party.” 

“Oh, I do so wish you could have been there for a Penbury social!” Ralph muses. “They were always such a blast to plan. I just… Sometimes I wish that Victoria let me be the “main event” host rather than the “planning” one.” 

“Well, when you go back, you can down a couple of martinis, tell her to shove it, and then throw the greatest bash Penbury House will see before it gets filled with tote bag-carrying indie kids and grandmas hiding romance novels between murder mysteries,” you laugh, though it’s strained. You know it’s only fair to make sure you’re both still actively talking about him returning home, but that doesn’t make it sting any less. 

Ralph gives you a small smile, “I’m not so sure about that. I think it’s far more than a few drinks that make me the man that I am while I’m here.” The way he bites his lip back bashfully would have you holding him by the cheeks and kissing it back, were you a couple more drinks in. He quietens after that, and you simply allow him to stay in that moment rather than pressing him as to what exactly he means. 

Once you’re back home once again, you change back into comfortable pants while Ralph washes his hair under the shower. You also finally look at your phone’s notifications to see a lot of activity in the group chat: 

Ralph re-emerges wearing another jumper and some sweats, but instead of sitting at his usual spot on the other end of the sofa to you, he sits far nearer and leans himself onto you. “Hello,” he greets simply, a dopey grin smeared across his face. 

You cock your head as you smile softly at him. “Hello, cuddly-drunk Whiskey Ralph.” 

“Is that what it is?” He asks, his voice slurring a little. “Do you mind?” 

“Nah, just give me my arm back,” you tease as you move so that your arm is no longer trapped beneath him, instead draping it where it’s most comfortable - which just happens to be over his body. 

You show Ralph the things everyone has been saying in the group chat, and he smiles into your torso. "Can I expect this jumper back any time soon, by the way?"

You grin down at him, "Yeah, you can have it back when it stops smelling like you. It's too nice to give up."

His ears burn pink as he gently settles further down until his head rests in your lap. “Do you want to see if your iguana made it out safely?” 

“Oh, yeah! Here, I’ll restart the episode for you, I need you to care about this lizard as much as I do.” 

Commentating alongside the documentary with Ralph proves a far more entertaining watch than before, and you both cheer as you watch the iguana finally climb up some rocks to the safety of its friend. At some point, your fingers end up absent-mindedly stroking back and forth through his hair, and you notice his chest starting to heave up and down heavier than usual. Leaning over, you see his lower lip move in and out ever so slightly with each breath as he sleeps. He looks so peaceful, and you could honestly keep him here forever. But, realistically, you can’t feel your legs and your body will certainly be unforgiving over you sleeping while sat upright. 

You gently prod at Ralph all over until he wakes up. “Hmm, what?” 

“Eh, what, what,” you tease, once again putting on your ‘posh voice’ before returning to your usual cadence. “C’mon, if you’re gonna sleep, go do it in a bed, please.” 

“Of course,” he mumbles wearily. 

When he stands up, you realise something with a laugh. “Oh, no! Oh, I’ve done a real number on your hair, look at it!” 

Ralph reaches up and pats his wildly spread curls with a sleepy smile. He faces you, then turns to the bedroom door, then back to you. He repeats this a few times, and just before you can ask, he shakes his head. “Goodnight. Sleep well.” 

“You too, Ralphie,” you grin as you push yourself around by your fists to lay across the sofa for the night. 

When you wake up, Ralph is yet again trending on Twitter. Wondering what on earth he could have done, you’re horrified when you see paparazzi-ish photos of Ralph with you as you both danced last night. The original tweet with the photos going around has the caption, “Pack it up, girlies, Hot Ralph is taken” 

Making sure your current account is most definitely still set to private, you make a new one under the name @RalphsFlatmate. You tweet an old selfie of you and Ralph with the caption, “hi, ralph stans. just here to remind you that sometimes people can be just friends and that’s it. please don’t take my photo without my consent in future. kinda insane that i have to ask that but here we are. cheers x” 

Once Ralph is awake, you borrow his phone to retweet yourself onto his profile to make sure people see it and get ready for work, dreading what is now to come with also being perceived on the internet. 

next chapter

[shysheeperz]

love ur blog!! I check it out before starting an anime/manga 💞

just wondering do u have any recommendations for complete anime/mangas?

thank u either way!!!

Completed??????

Manga:

Fullmetal Alchemist- the gold standard

Silver Spoon- by the same person who did FMA. Agricultural school stuff. Cute.

Agravity Boys- space sci-fi gag comedy, a wild ride to say the least, I miss my stupid boys

Magu-chan: God of Destruction- cute digimon/pokemon-shaped gods get woken up and mingle with a bunch of middle schoolers. Cute fluff mostly, will occasionally pull at your heartstrings (including the ending)

High School Family: Kokosei Kazoku- comedy/ slice of life, about an entire family attending high school. Has a volleyball arc that rivals the likes in haikyuu!!

Haikyuu!!-sports manga, if you want to cry over boys and their love for the game then this is for you, Boys x Volleyball is the tru otp of the show

Hell's Paradise: Jigokuraku- dark historical fantasy, so very, very good. Don't get attached.

Dr. STONE- sci fi, technically the main story is complete. We still have been getting the occasional side chapter or three that continue where the main story left off tho. A very solid shonen jump series. includes one of the best shonen jump dads in the history of ever. Will make u emotional over lightbulbs and stuff. hard not to root for the main cast.

Dr. STONE Reboot: Byakuya- a non-canon little one volume spin-off about byakuya and mainly about a funky lil robot that will make you sob uncontrollably I'd personally say to read up to the end of the Treasure Island arc in the main story first before tackling this one (about ch 140ish)

Dr. STONE 4D Science- a continuation of the main story, only a couple chapters, the ending is a really cruel tease imo and if Inagaki/Boichi don't give us more may they be cursed to lose all their left shoes forever

Food Wars! Shokugeki no Sanji- spin-off of sanji side stories by the duo who did food Wars. ONE PIECE related ofc. Tasty looking food. Sanji too cool for school. One volume.

Astra Lost in Space- space sci fi survival, solid story that deserves more appreciation, the ending is just a tad lackluster in actually showing what a lot of readers would have liked to physically see. By no means ruins the story tho.

Blue Flag (Ao no Flag)- high school, romance, slice of life, boys and gals just trying to figure out life and relationships. Solid.

Mashle: Magic and Muscles- gag comedy that leans a little too much into the shonen battle-esque stuff towards the end imo, but a decently enjoyable time. A mash up of Harry Potter and other various manga like mob, opm, etc.

Mitama Security: Spirit Busters- comedy, axed but I enjoyed it. Goofy fun. nothing spectacular but reading it won't hurt anyone.

My Hero Academia: Vigilantes- spin-off of mha obviously, average joe Koichi >>> deku FIGHT ME, the goodest of boys, world building u don't get in the main series, Aizawa's backstory, Knuckleduster is the man the myth the legend.

Chihayafuru- screaming crying throwing up, it's niche it's technically a sports manga, romance, female MC, growth™, love triangle but at the end of the day that's not what's important

My Love Mix-Up!- comedy romance, big big mix-up on who loves who and lots of shenanigans ensue.

Noragami- TECHNICALLY not complete until like 2 days from now when the final chapter releases. my emotions! MY EMOTIONS!!!! 😭

Gintama- comedy/gag with dashes of really good drama

I have no idea what your tastes are, anon, so here's a mix that I've personally enjoyed. Some of them were axed, but technically that makes them complete so I included them :P yes I cheated.

Anime:

There's a lot less of them bc I haven't actually watched a lot of completed series.

Run with the Wind- more boys x sports but this time it's about running. Also the boys are in college. Will trick u into wanting to run.

91 days- ol timey story about VENGEANCE. Set during the prohibition.

Tengan Toppa Gurren Lagann- makes you emotional and feel all fuzzy inside, sci fi, mecha

Cowboy Bebop- a classic

Samurai Champloo- also a classic and I actually prefer this one over cowboy bebop tbh, god tier baseball episode

Astra Lost in Space-the anime version, if you'd prefer watching over reading, but I always prefer manga > anime just cause.

FMA 03/FMA BROTHERHOOD- the gold standard. I appreciate both versions. 03 goes the anime original ending root bc obviously the manga wasn't completed yet no biggie.

Mob Psycho 100- MOB!MOB!MOB! and tumblr sexy man reigen arataka

Gintama- animated version alternative lol. The voice actors bring the characters to life.

Obv there are the old school classics like Sailor Moon, Cardcaptor Sakura, Gundam and all that jazz if you haven't already checked out some of those. Oldies but goodies.

[farty-city]

watching the new doctor who special bc this is, first and foremost, a dw fan account. blogging my thoughts

Episode 1

i’m a bit weary of reboots and stuff and i know this will be self indulgent but i have hope bc rtd but we’ll see

i forgot they made donna part of a swirl relationship

omg angst

did rtd manage to make dw child friendly and also profound

well i’m sure they also had to tone it down bc disney

ong they killed her

wtf r the next two episodes gonna be about

omg they made rose like… woah

omg

wow

what if i got emotional

the non binary thing with donna’s rose was like.. lazy tho

i liked the maternal metacrisis solution tho

and they’re going back and rewriting the doctors sexuality but i will excuse it because it’s rtd and an openly gay doctor would have been a hard sell in 08, i guess. also he had that thing with rose

i do partly feel that they were relying on the past grandeur and lore of the show which obviously worked on me but like i generally think it’s lazy

Episode 2

THIS EPISODE IS CRAZY

rtd did not dissapoint

i liked the beginning with newton

the Creaturss r so good

that scene of ten screaming and yelling and hitting the grate me lmao

this is crazy wow

they made them look so fucked up ddujfgjjjfg

what is the mavity

THE FUCKING BREAK INTO THE GALLOP cjfjdjdjd

oh no oh fuckkkkk

oh my god

rtd will threaten to kill the main characters and it will work every time

yeah this one is probably the best out of the three

idk maybe i’m biased bc i liked the plot but the character building and the writing from an objective standpoint with the theme of the mini series binaries and what we hide away and what happens when we are reflected back to ourselves, and how it is distorted- representative of how we see our own self. u know

but mavity tho … was it just for laugh or at i’m i missing something

Episode 3

o fuck i forgot nph was in this ..:/

his fake german lsnjds

doctor who has ai wtf what is that robot

oh this is interesting…

oh god it’s about privacy in the digital age and screens

there’s an evil puppet hiding in our screens

what an interesting social critique..

All World Leaders Are Being Affected By The Giggle

the toy maker concept is actually pretty interesting and definitely reminds me of like the literary jester i just feel like they were relying too much on the toy makers mystique to impress us

women and gender studies majors would have massive words to say about the doctor birthing scene

the catch scene is actually pretty cool

the puppet as a symbol for the biblical christ , the toymaker, the all knowing Creator

and i did like what rtd was trying to say as far as rage and believing you are right

omg ten hugging 15(?)

our blobo finally got the hug he needed

the master callback yes down to the nail polish

good 2 know a twink will still be speed walking around the tardis

so ten got his family and his happy ending…

now ether are two tardis’s. they’re fucking with canon, but its not new.

[gracebethartacc]

MORE PONY STUFFS YAYYYY this time I got Hcs and I wanted to draw eyes bc I had neat ideas for differentiating them/eyelash styles ! I always like when ppl put references to their cutie marks symbols in their eyes so I wanted to do that w them :3 (I still need to properly design the marks tho oof I might do that later)

Scootaloos ended up looking like button eyes on accident though oops they are supposed to be jacks bc I wanted to play into her liking games

Mintys would have been snowflakes but that would be hard to draw so I just opted for a twinkly shape I usually associate w snow/ice, also considered doing peppermint swirl eyes but I didn’t think that would fit her personality as well BUT I’d say maybe that can be used for gags or something ? I can see their eyes swirling around when she’s flustered or confused lol it sounds cute

ALSO sweetie belle don’t got any fancy eyes just bc I think either she’s a blank flank OR there’s some kind of lore thing like unicorns don’t have cutie marks just bc I want to have unicorns be rare/from a different world/have plot significance maybe idk I vaguely remember that being mentioned/implied in g3, i def wanna do something w that rainbow thing in those baby spin offs bc I always thought it was cool, I only know the surface level stuff of g3/g3.5 tho so if anyone is a g3 fan hit me up I’d love to hear infodumping/get some inspo!! ^^

also it’s not mentioned in the art but it’s more a worldbuilding thing but I thought I’d mention another idea I had was that all the buildings/environments of ponyville look/are stylized like toys?? Bc g3.5 did that and I think it’s a real cute style choice and also bc g4 was kinda cottagecore with its style so the second there was a toy marketing placement it was glaringly obvious yk (gestures to twilights castle)

anyway that’s it uhhh I would say more but this reboot interpretation whatever idea is very much only in the first stages like I’ve only had these guys for a few days but I def wanna play around with them, maybe if I expand things more I might include some g1 or g4 characters ? Like how g4 included mix of g1 and g3 characters/villains maybe I might try that just bc I’ve done that b4 in my monster high and ppg rewrite things I combined all the gens together/took the aspects I liked most, but this might be a bit tricker just bc I don’t wanna use g4 as a crutch like I wanna try something unique, hence why I chose g3 to mess around with instead just bc a lot of ppl opt to rehash g4 instead plus I like the g3 character designs a lot :3

oof this got kinda long idk I just wanted to ramble abt pony thoughts shrugs ok bye

[ioannemos]

bits and pieces i remember from the very long dream i had last night. it was less exhausting than the one i had the other night but still like. how long was i out 😵‍💫

there were like three levels of society:

• top level was labyrinthine megabuildings reaching into the clouds with not a door to be seen and hardly any hallways, just rooms leading to each other with the occasional foyer or stair landing. the people were friendly but everybody knew everybody else's schedule. there was definitely a feel that Someone was Watching but there wasn't so much surveillance that i couldn't "borrow" a roll of duct tape without anyone the wiser. very brave new world in that everyone seemed genuinely nice and cared for (pallets of food in storage areas, everything well-lit and clean) but you did not want to be Noticed

• • i did not like it here, partially bc of the feeling of being watched, but mostly bc several people i ran into knew that i was not where i was supposed to be. i, however, knew neither how they knew that nor how to get where i was supposed to be and it was very frustrating. i found so many empty places while lost. constant kenopsia. also my dad was here and took care of little kids in some kind of daycare setting i think

• second level was people who had run away from the labyrinthine megabuildings and were now hiding from that level. they lived in abandoned buildings like warehouses and car repair shops and basically scraped by from stealing from above. tended to be suspicious and skittish; didn't seem to realize that as long as you acted like everything was normal you probably could've taken a whole pallet of food from the people above without being Noticed. among the people here i remember a guy whose name was literally just a five-digit number bc i think his mom had been a prisoner when she had him 😬 (no it was not 24601. it started with 27 but i forget the rest of the digits)

• • i hid out here for a while before someone from up above brought roxy down. she was so happy to see me i couldn't even be mad at her for snitching on me 😔

• third level was people who went even deeper, into a vastly different kind of labyrinth where (amongst other dangers) there was a mystery-flesh-pit-esque monster that had sections of intestine-like tunnels where people occasionally lost limbs when the tunnel closed around them. being partially eaten wasn't a death sentence, as you could regenerate from the damage, but it did make you less able to cope with life in general, like it took some iq points along with that arm. almost everyone looked like hollywood burn victims (i have no idea if real burn scars look that way and ain't no way i'm looking it up). the result was everyone was sort of... calm, kind, and harmlessly spacey, like nice old people who consistently call their nurses by the name of a friend they had when they were young and simultaneously want to introduce them to their children who are definitely not in college anymore. i have no idea how these people were even alive bc they were too far down for sunlight and i know at least some of them were trapped bc even if they'd wanted to try their luck up a level they couldn't remember how to get there anymore

• • i went here to find someone i think? pretty sure i got partially ate more than once bc i was absolutely helpless at one point and the people at the highest level had to... basically reboot me to get me back

• • • was i a robot? i might've been some kind of android. i know there was a bit where an android was being tortured by thinking they were being eaten but they actually weren't, they were just in Extreme Virtual Reality

the megabuilding was very minimalistic, ironically; lots of neutral colors and wide curves. i'm not sure how to describe the style but it was surprisingly nice for an architectural nightmare

at one point i got up on a roof of this particular megabuilding... via one of those old-school rebar ladders on the outside. pretty sure it was quite the view but i didn't really enjoy it bc i was too annoyed and confused as to how i'd gotten so very very very very lost. also being on a roof was definitely Noticable Behavior

you could def set a story in here. what story, idk, but these were for sure some Locations

[scarlet--wiccan]

Any thoughts/expectations/hopes/desire to even read GODS? I’m sure you don’t have the best opinion of Hickman (I don’t either) but Jericho is supposed to be there (though I imagine not in a huge capacity) and it seems like its (trying to be) massively important to marvel’s whole concept of magic

Frankly the idea of magic and science being these two opposing forces could be interesting but also feels kind of played out (and the idea of a non-magical, science based higher power seems contradictory) and I’m not super interested in buying comics for brand new totally important lore surrounding what’s essentially a brand new cast of characters so I’m gonna pass even though it’s already crossing over with everything bc the story is so so important

Here's the thing about Hickman-- I don't love the detached, sweeping tone he employs, and I struggle with a lot of his choices, but he is very good at big-picture narratives, and I think he's especially adept at weaving together the sprawling, messy timelines and mythologies of the Marvel world into cohesive worldbuilding. In that regard, specicially, HoXPoX is kind of a masterpiece, and I'm going to tune in to anything that promises to deliver the same impact.

So, while I'm not particularly interested in the subject matter of G.O.D.S., I am very interested to see what he does with it. From what I can tell, G.O.D.S. is going to be about the overarching cosmic and multiversal entities of the Marvel world-- Eternity, Infinity, the Living Tribunal, etc. These are the people and places that exist outside of, and in some cases, above, all realities in the Marvel multiverse. It's an area that tends to be vague and a bit contradictory, and it usually feels like a bit of a narrative dead-end to me. Building something larger, and more cohesive with roots in the tactile world would certainly make it a lot more exciting-- but ultimately, I'd really rather just read about the Vishanti or the Elder Gods, which are already built into the world in a more accessible manner.

Most of my favorite magic characters are grounded in really specific corners of the Marvel world, and I'd rather deepen those stories than than have them get lumped into another one of Hickman's grand soft reboots. even if I end up really liking this story, I don't want it to impact the magical world as a whole, so I'm kind of glad Wanda and them aren't part of this-- as far as we know.

I'm not expert on comic book sales, but I have heard that the numbers for G.O.D.S. aren't looking so good. This project doesn't have a built in audience like HoXPoX, or even broad-spectrum appeal like Secret Wars. The decision to retail G.O.D.S. #1 as a 60 volume-- with a price point to match-- is also a little strange, and it's not a great way to get readers to buy into a brand new story with brand new characters.

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

okay but full thoughts on the animaniacs reboot i wanna get out: 

dislikes:

i do think there was a bit too much gross-out. i assume it was there bc animaniacs ended before that really became A Thing™ in kids’ tv and they’re experimenting a little? but i didn’t really feel like it fit but that might just be because it’s not my thing 

i get the russian jokes were written in 2018-19 back when we were all pissed about the election but it did go on for a bit too long? i did like at the end though when they were like “yeah we’re not all like this we just have a shit leader” “we know the feeling comrade” but they probably coulda done more on that 

i’m not a huge fan of the human character designs? idk i know the designs in the original were supposed to be just as odd and wacky as the toons but sometimes the designs are just bad to look at now 

BRING BACK SLAPPY 2K21 

though most importantly: 

i want to see the warners fucking up the studio and the world. there’s a reason they live in a water tower, it’s because the wb studio built it over their faerie circle locked them there to stop them from destroying everything in sight. 

i know they’ve probably mellowed a bit and are still trying to figure out the 21st century but i want to see them bouncing off the walls and making the new ceo bang her head on a desk while they sing the song that gets on everybody’s nerves

because like that’s kinda the thing with the warners... they’re wacky and out of control but mainly because nobody gets them. they just get frustrated and lock them up- and you notice that it’s the humans who don’t seem to get them. 

when they interact with other toons (looney tunes cameos, the other segments) they seem to have stable friendships and all seem to get™ each other, like when the warners unleashed mindy on elmyra and then gave buttons the day off or when they go to slappy to get rid of their new nanny. 

i could go on for a while about the implications of this plus the implications of them living in the warner bros studio while being locked in a water tower but i’ll just sum it up with “it really hits with the neurodivergent kids” and anyone who’s in that category. you get it

and i don’t feel that was brought out enough yet? but it’s only season one, they’re still getting back into the swing of things, so we’ll see how it goes

however, the overwhelming positives:

THE SIBLING LOVE THEY ALL HAVE FOR EACH OTHER??? THAT’S SO PURE AND GOOD GIVE IT ALL TO ME 

these writers are NOT backing down from the political jokes and adult humor. i’m sure you all saw my out-of-context compilation but wakko literally said “hell” and yakko called someone a dick, and also they mock drumpf like every other episode. fucking fantastic 

you can tell the writers know how we all see pinky and the brain. they’re slowburn building to that labrat romance 

my GOD is wakko so fucking cute. the real reason dot’s new schtick is being “witty” and not “cute” is because they realized that wakko’s the real babey of the family 

the lowkey sad elements are starting to slip into the show- the brain backstory is the most clear, due to it being framed in such a sad light, but also yakko literally having a breakdown when he feels like he can’t be the “funny one” and can’t speak also a neurodivergent mood really does HIT doesn’t it 

the new ceo seems funny! i like her fast-paced movements and way of speaking. hope we learn more about her or she gets, like. a name? does she have a name yet? 

MY GOD THAT REVEAL ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER SEGMENTS 

the new animation and songs are so good oh my god i literally taught myself how to play “reboot it” on guitar because i couldn’t get it out of my head 

every time dot is just feral and out for blood i’m like “yeah. yeah she’s the youngest sibling you can tell” 

i would still die for these siblings istg 

THE PENNYWISE SKETCH WAS THE FUNNIEST THING IN THE WORLD

tl;dr it’s not perfect but by GOD is it close. really looking forward more to season three than two- cause one and two were made in quick succession, so three will be made knowing how the fans reacted and what they want 

but by god would i still die for these puppy rabbit salamander fae children i--

[magical-agatha]

i hate the way being able to see how special something is but not being able to explain it to anyone feels TwT i keep finding rly interesting tertiary media from mlpfim, like the official ttrpg, tails of equestria, and its rly cool and is just like, a rly creative and interesting expansion on the show.

mlpfim had so much untapped potential as a setting and it hurts so much seeing that potential like, wasted and unappreciated. there was this golden age where it was ultra popular, but hasbro reacted too late with like, building on that. so by the time they started funding the rly cool shit the attention was gone and it all went unsung. its so dumb and its all like a money and capitalism problem. but also its a problem of no one cares about mlp anymore except the diehards. that series deserved so much more i hate that its over and rebooted with a soulless cgi cashgrab thats just using the mlp branding to try and sell toys. mlpfim was so good and no one cares anymore and it had so much potential that never got achieved and the only ppl who still care are like, diehard weirdos who can see what could have been like me. and so many of us are like, trying to tap into that potential and create stuff based on mlp and that at least is rly cool. stuff like fallout equestria and all of vylet pony's stuff are great examples of ppl like, properly utilising the potential of the setting. in my head i can rly clearly see how mlpfim's world of equestria is on par with the forgotten realms or magic the gathering's setting, or like, any other living ongoing fantasy setting like that. hell its better than a lot of comparable settings that are way more successful. and it has so much in common with dnd in particular that just isnt evident bc of the marketing and the way its portrayed.

if you watch the show you can tell its a deep and complicated fantasy setting, the show is just focusing on a very small part of that world initially, and expanding in fits and bursts and every so often you get like this look into something huge and complex and cool and it never gets fully explained and its such a waste! its so weird.

and tails of equestria was exploring that stuff it seems like. and the movie, and the very brief action figure line. and the last 2 or 3 seasons. it feels like it was rly starting to tap into that potential and then it just ends. it sucks and im mad and i want more mlpfim.

but idk i guess thats where fan content comes in right? its our job to carry the torch after all the funding disappears. i just wish there was like, some way for that to be official? or like, officiality not mattering and fan content being like, legitimate and gathered in one place somehow would be rly cool. god. i hate capitalism.

clearly i have to make a soulslike set in equestria.

[insomniac-jay]

How I Would Rewrite Fate The Winx Saga

Good god, I have to come on here and save all the 2000s babies from the cardinal sin N/tflix has brought upon us. It has shown me a good example of bad writing so as an aspiring writer, here is how I would fix Fate The Winx Saga,

Bringing Back Tecna and Restoring Musa and Flora to their rightful races

When I saw the trailer, I thought we were gonna get all the girls but no. No Tecna and whitewashed Musa and Flora. Tecna is the MAIN STRATEGIST of the group and in many instances helped them get out of certain situations alive and for them to not even include her is disrespectful. Musa and Flora were IMPORTANT representation of Asian and Latina girls and for their identities to be erased is disgusting.

Going back to the cute, fun light academia aesthetic of the original show

If you’re gonna have anything to do with Winx, at least make it light academia. Yes it can get dark at times especially with the storylines I have in mind but it should maintain an overall cute and fun light academia aesthetic.

Save the Trix for season 2 or at least introduce them towards the end of season 1

As much as I love the Trix, we don’t need to be introduced to them straight away. Let their introduction be a build up sorta like Junko’s reveal as the mastermind was. I would also made Stormy Black and Darcy Latina bc it’s past the era where we need to appeal to cishet men, now you appeal to the girls and the gays and the theys. Also, it would give us time to learn their backstories and motivations.

One idea I had for their motivation was that they wanted to attend Alfea despite being Witches to prove that not all Witches are bad or Witches can be just as good as Fairies with magic but a series of events turned them to the dark side. 

Give me GOOD, INTERESTING storylines

Give me GOOD SHIT. I want the girls to explore their sexualities and gender identities, not everyone has to be cishet. I want the Specialists to do the same. I want to see the girls of color dealing with some real world issues that affect women of color. I want to see the Trix trying to still prove that they can be good or be just as good as their more accepted counterparts.

Better Fashion

NETFLIX! HIRE! SOME! NEW! DESIGNERS! Why are the girls dressed like middle aged wine moms?! You don’t have to do the Y2k aesthetic but at least get someone that is in touch with modern fashion trends. Like, I’d love to see a cottagecore Flora or Tecna in holographic outfits while still being preppy. Like, the girls don’t have to dress the Y2k style but at least make them look stylish.

Character Arcs

Instead of the girls being the main focus of the show all the time, I’d give them some solo character arcs. Like Bloom trying to assimilate as a Fairy despite her earthly heritage, Stella dealing with the stress of being an heir and having to be her parents’ picture perfect daughter, etc. I also want character arcs with the Specialists and Roxy (I’ll get to her in a minute). Show me Riven and his family, show me Sky dealing with being the king of a kingdom and a student at the same time. Show me Roxy trying to get stronger but not knowing how.

Tease Roxy’s appearance in the later show

Just like the Trix, Roxy should have a build up to her introduction. Tease her appearance and save her for season 2. Have the Trix and the Winx fighting and she protects her beloved animals from an attack from one of the Trix and the Winx learning that she is the last fairy the teachers spoke of. Give me something like that.

TRANSFORMATIONS

HOW DO YOU REBOOT WINX CLUB AND NOT GIVE US THE TRANSFORMATIONS?! It doesn’t have to be a whole Sailor Moon type one (No shade, Sailor Moon fans. I love the show as well) but at least give them to us. The Winx could maybe do the little Wonder Woman spin or something. 

Honestly I think I should be paid for doing this because Netflix doesn’t deserve it. 

[my-artblog-is-ssjumi]

please tell me about "YGO shots whatever" and also bless you for the running cat

it's pretty much what it says on the tin: random ygo stuff that doesn't belong to any already existing story yet XD

rn most of it is a draft for a potential English reboot of the fanfic my Aileen Sue is from like, just experimenting around with how i would retell the story and what changes i would make.

i'm not good with drafts so. i kind of never revisited it since first writing it down? bc it's no fun to reread bc it's not up-to-my-standards-good yet? XD' but hey, whatever, some snippets of it i do already like so here's some (=most) of it:

Surprising as it may seem, given how his image is plastered all over the city they live in, Yugi and his friends don't really think much about Seto Kaiba in their everyday lives.

They're doing their thing and he does his. ... Whatever his thing is.

Building theme parks probably? Yugi remembers him mentioning something like this the last time they spoke but he's not sure anymore. The fact that Kaiba's been gracing class with his presence for the past few days probably means that things are going well enough for him to have the spare time. Although he's spending most of that time on his laptop anyway, not participating in class at all and left alone by the teachers as well.

No, really. Neither Yugi nor his friends know what Kaiba's thing actually is.

So they're a little surprised when after class, during cleaning duty[that anime trope/Japanese school thing?????????], a girl in another school's uniform slips through the door and bee-lines for the desk in the far corner of the room where Kaiba, true to his famous team spirit, is still fully focused on his personal work instead of helping his classmates.

One of her long, black pigtails slips over her shoulder as she snatches a glance at his laptop screen. To which Kaiba just reacts by closing said laptop and shoving it into his schoolbag. Which in turn puts a slightly too sweet, almost teasing smile onto her lips. "Want me to give you a ride home?" He sighs and mumbles something that sounds a lot like "There are worse ways to die, I guess" before getting up and following her outside.

It finally becomes apparent why a few of the guys in the class have spent the past couple minutes at the window - the car Kaiba follows that stranger to is a red Porsche cabriolet that looks like right out of a Hollywood movie.

Jounouchi doesn't know what to be more scandalized about - that Kaiba of all people is getting picked up by a cute girl while he doesn't or that some of his female classmates seem completely unimpressed by all of this because "everyone knows he has a girlfriend, duh".

He and his friends exchange confused glances.

Seto Kaiba is weird in occasionally dangerous but usually just a little annoying ways and overall just not that interesting. And, as far as they're aware, he's also completely uninterested in making friends or even just understanding the basic concept of friendship - or interpersonal relationships in general.

And yet.

Seto Kaiba has a girlfriend.

___

(the fic is an Aileen/Seto/Ati love-triangle-resolved-by-cheating-and-getting-dumped-for-it thingie)

i think the plan(???) was(????) to have each chapter actually be more of a oneshot, and them not even be in chronological order but in whatever order i vibed with while writing lol

... ok you know what? let's post the Ati part, too

___

The other Yugi, the nameless pharao, the boy without an own body, he didn't think much about what he wanted. It didn't matter. There was a purpose to his existence and it seemed to align with his feelings of not belonging to this time and place. So he dedicated his everything to fulfilling that purpose and spared himself the hassle of reflecting on his situation too much.

All was well.

Until the one whose body he had once taken over without asking didn't just allow him to stay, didn't just welcome him and promised to help him fulfill his destiny, but also offered him a bit of a life of his own. Privacy even. At least for a few hours a week. To take walks, smell the air, try new food, get lost in his thoughts without the pressure of having to justify them.

To just be.

Truth be told, it was a bit much.

What does one even do with a body of his own when there are no cards to hold, no lives at stake?

This whole time all he had was duels and words to connect to the world.

By now he barely remembered what else there was.

Until someone else who always seemed at least just as disconnected from the world as him turned out to be a lot closer to it than he thought.

Until it turned out that Seto Kaiba, of all people, had a girlfriend.

Until the nameless pharao passed a young couple holding hands on one of his walks and suddenly had to ask himself if that was something that Kaiba did with his girlfriend, too.

And what about the other things couples did?

Did they kiss?

Was Kaiba someone who would kiss someone? Who liked kissing? Who let someone kiss him?

He felt heat creep up Yugi's, no, his face just imagining it.

It seemed impossible.

Not Kaiba.

Never Kaiba.

But what if...

And did that mean they also...

Such a small question of so little consequence.

At least in theory.

And yet it did something to that borrowed body he inhabited.

That tickle on his lips and the urge to bite them to make it stop, the fine hair rising on his neck and arms, this sudden restlessness in his chest, all of these sensations were his experiences and just his.

Caused by only his thoughts, no one else's.

His own want.

Only his.

[angel-gidget]

Amethyst #1: A Riveting Reboot

I could say Amethyst #1 written and illustrated by Amy Reeder is a work of art and you’d all be like “no duh, gidge. comics are half art” but Amethyst #1 is also clearly a work of LOVE. I’ve been reading and flailing and feeling like I should review, but have been uncertain where to start. So I shall try to simply pick 10 delights that stand out to me.

Heads up for spoilers!

1. Her mom and dad. Amy’s origin has clearly been restored from the left turn at Albuquerque that was the nu52. I love that Reeder shows right out the gate that Amy’s adoptive parents are supportive yet struggling with raising a daughter that spends more and more time in a magical realm they can’t enter. Or can they? We will see what the rules are as we go.

In the original series, anybody who didn’t have magic risked getting lost and stranded between realms if they tried to cross between the Gemworld and earth. That doesn’t conflict with the glimpses we’ve seen in YJ, exactly, so we’ll wait and see how things unfold.

2. One thing that DOES conflict with what we’ve seen in YJ though: Turquoise’s number of arms. Or, the number of arms on anybody living in her entire kingdom for that matter. Might be that Reeder and Bendis didn’t get a chance to double-check those details against each other before committing to their scripts. But who thinks to ask about things like that though? (“Hey, your redesign of this character has the standard 4 limbs or less, not 6, right?”)

You know what? I’m okay with this. We get pretty Bendis/Gleason?/Timms? design and this totally funky four-armed broad-sword user and I think I will enjoy seeing if they actually DO come up with an in-canon explanation of the discrepancy.

Also, apparently this Turquoise is married? He’s clearly a consort rather than a ruler, and I wanna know more. (All of the bullpen appears on board with avoiding the Amy/Topaz/Turquoise love triangle from the original series and that’s probably for the best. I just hope that we’ll get to see my boy Topaz at some point anyway, even if he’s no longer a romantic candidate for either fair lady.)

3. Hallelujah! We have a name! I have always loved that Amethyst rides around on a pegasus/pegacorn (another YJ mismatch here, but seems like semantics to me). BUT HE’S NEVER HAD A NAME. HE FINALLY HAS A NAME! IT’S A BADASS NAME. Ypsilos. Greek & unique. I dig it. ‘Bout time.

4. Her mentors. Granch and Citrine(a) are back! Ok, they’re actually missing, but it was good to see their faces smiling down on itty bitty!Amy. I dug the way “witch mother Citrina” would roll off the tongue in the original series, but it didn’t make totally sense that everybody gets to take the exact name of a gemstone while Citrine gets her name kinda anglicized by sticking an A on the end. Small fix, I appreciate the logic.

I’m wondering if Cintrine is as powerful of a magic user in this story as she was in the original. I mean, probably not, bc of House Amethyst disapearing without a trace, but it will be cool to see how it goes. I dig how Amy notes how much she usually relies on them, and how this sensibly leads to…

5. Noob ruler, a lil’ tone-deaf. She’s clearly trying. Taking some good speech-giving cues from Braveheart, probably. But this scene shows she IS inexperienced and bc she’s still in training, she doesn’t have a lot of trust from her neighboring common people. PEOPLE IN THE CROWD ARE MISSING LIMBS. Turquoise warned her about this. These people clearly HAVE been fighting. They aren’t turning her down bc they lack courage. They’re just insulted that this tiny neighbor princess showed up in a BALLGOWN royal-splaining warrior grit to them.

I gotta admit, I was a bit worried when Amy Reeder’s interview (also at the back of the comic) came out, and she talked about Amy Winston having a “little miss perfect” personality. There were some character details that never got fleshed out about 80′s Amy, but I’m relieved that this new iteration actually has some of the original character flaws shown.

She’s a lil’ presumptuous. She gets her ideas from watching Earth movies and TV. Sometimes it pans out, and she’s like “Of course it did! You backwards middle ages people are so quaint. No worries, I will bless you with my high school knowledge of democracy and vaccination.” But she lacks the foresight to see when and why a youthful earth-style plan won’t work in the Gemworld’s environment.

Re-worked Amy just gets really lucky here that Nameless Warrior of the Cool Haircut and Rad Caterpillar Creature sees that she’s such a tiny summer child and decides to assist, impugning of honor aside.

6. Monsters vs. Innocent Creatures. This was always a fun aspect of the Gemworld! Is that a terrifying monster or a cute critter? Maybe it’s both! Or maybe its not a monster at all, and you’re just biased. Nice to meet you, Stan.

7. Living birth parents? That’s a twist (Or, it still CAN be.) In the original series, Amy’s birth father was revealed be the host of a Lord of Order (If that sounds familiar, it’s a Dr. Fate thing.) That meant she technically had an original living parent, but… that’s where the writing went South and turned obnoxiously edgy and tangential. But this implies that both her bio mom and dad are plain-ol’-fashioned alive. Which is new and an intriguing dangling plot-thread. Cool cool.

8. He’s just… so evil. It’s great. I’ve already blubbered about the pleasant simplicity of Dark Opal’s villainy, but I also appreciate that his funky face clasp is back, and I dig the drone-spiders. In the original series, his adopted son Carnelian was the techie, so I’ll be curious to see if there any nods to that in the future.

9. One seriously solid exposition page. Pretty, concise... and just enough holes to entice. This implies that the events of the first Amethyst mini series have ALREADY HAPPENED in this continuity. But some things are CLEARLY different. (Turquoise kingdom world-building, Amy does not change her age between realms, etc.) That leaves some surprises in store.

10. First issue parallels. It’s her birthday. Again. Her parents are giving her title-drop jewelry. Again. She’s all gussied up in an over-the-top dress for her mentor’s sake, but it’s completely inappropriate for battling evil which is what she’s gonna have to ACTUALLY go do bc that’s her luck. Again. I do love me some good symmetry.

TO CONCLUDE... I am so, so happy to read this. Reeder has done right by my girl, and I look forward to issue #2. Huzzah!

[mrmallardsmobileposts]

How I Think The Star Wars Sequels Should Have Happened: Another MrMallard Nerd Moment

(MAJOR SPOILERS)

The Force Awakens:

fine jumping on point. Not perfect, but honestly a return to form in regards to making Star Wars movies fun again. Keep TFA as-is, warts and all - the trick is paying this movie off by the end.

The Last Jedi:

Less faux-Guardians of the Galaxy humor. That's not to say "no humor", I honestly thought Luke Skywalker had the best jokes of the movie, but less "your mother" and less "Finn wakes up from a coma and drips IV fluid everywhere, Wakka Wakka!". The former is corny, the latter is undignified and actively cheapens character development from the prior movie.

Cut the stampeding race-beasts, because it reeks of Disney's "fuck you we're Disney" money, but keep Canto Bight as a whole. The alien designs are charming - it's a nice moment of fanservice, along with the Jizz music. It also serves as a nice character-building exercise for Rose and Finn.

Ultimately, I think it might have been a better idea to kill off Leia in this movie considering Carrie Fisher's passing. I don't dislike her in this movie, and I honestly enjoyed the scene of her in space - my first thought was "holy fuck she can use the force!!" - but I think it would have been better for her to pass on in this movie, both logistically and for her character. That, or they should have scaled back her cobbled together Frankenstein-performance of CGI, cut lines and recontextualised footage in TRoS. Either/or.

Keep the mutiny plot with Poe, but something has to be done with how they treat the secret plan. The resolution to the mutiny plot was the thing that bothered me the most with TLJ, but it's pretty much the only thing for Poe to do in the movie and it adds conflict to the main story I guess. Making the Holdo/Poe seem a little less personal might help? idk. honestly a lot of this storyline felt forced.

Don't try and resolve Rey's backstory in this movie. Keep it as a running mystery. I understand that they were trying to go for a clever subversion in this movie, but it just added another stupid thing that TRoS bad to address and it honestly kinda ruins the trilogy.

Honestly, either cut Crait entirely and make it the beginning of the next movie - bc the movie's already two hours long and it feels like the final battle stretches the movie out beyond its natural ending point - or shorten it a bit and make it a bit more functional. It looks cool, but at that point it's like tacking an extra mile onto a marathon.

Also, don't shoehorn a failed heroic sacrifice with Finn imo. That, or give him more screentime and character development to build up to that moment. Post-TFA, he's really half-baked, and I honestly think he should have been more of a focal character next to Rey. The heroic sacrifice felt like it came out of nowhere, and by thwarting it and adding the Rose Tico scene, it felt like a waste of time even having it in there. It comes and goes with no fanfare.

Honestly, I would have preferred if Luke stayed alive at the end of the movie. I think his death was a movie too soon. Saying that, I think they nailed his death in this movie - if they were gonna kill him off, I think they did it right. Also, don't kill off Snoke. It's a cool scene, but it fucks up the next movie.

Re: Rose Tico - she's not my favorite part of the movie, but I don't actively hate her and I think the response to her character that Kelly Marie Tran had to face was absolutely disgusting. I think her plotline with Finn was a little underbaked, and that scene at the end where she prevents his heroic sacrifice just kinda sidelines them both. I think making her a navigator would have helped her character in TLJ and TRoS.

In short: trim a few excessive CGI scenes, cut a few cornball jokes out, play around with the characterisation and tone of the mutiny plot, dignify Finn's character instead of reducing him to a rehashed coward, comedic relief character and pointless failed Rebel martyr, and maybe keep Luke Skywalker alive at the end. Bring the movie in at around 2 hours max.

Keep Luke Skywalker as-is, bc his character is a highlight of TLJ.

The Rise of Skywalker:

Kill off Luke Skywalker in this movie. Seriously, just cut and paste his death at the end of TLJ into this movie. Work him into a reduced role when Rey junks her ship, like the force projection messed him up and he doesn't have much longer to live, and have him help her when she returns to his island planet instead of adding a phoned-in Force Ghost appearance. Maybe have her there when he passes?

Reduce Leia's role in this movie instead of stitching together a Frankenstein's Monster of a performance. Not to be morbid by that reference - it's just that everything she says feels so stilted and wrong, like you can definitely tell they've thrown all the scraps they have left into her character in this movie. It doesn't feel natural or respectful for her character to spit out non-sequiters for the characters to respond to in an equally unnatural sort of way.

Honestly? Canonise Fey/Rinn, however you want to portmanteau Rey and Finn's ship name. If you give Finn more of a character arc in TLJ instead of side-lining him, and establish that he and Rey are particularly close - which they are IMO - and then pay off that "I have something to tell you" beat with a confession of love. This isn't a stab against Reylo, though I've certainly had words to say about Reylo, I just think Finn/Rey is a more wholesome ship and I prefer this dynamic to the fuckin dark side/light side paradigm of Reylo. I Just don't care for it. Kylo Ren's conflicted nature doesn't have to resolve in romance. Gimme Rey/Finn.

Snoke gets offed by Palpatine. There's no breeding vat for Snokes, but if the movie wants to suggest that he's still just a puppet or a creation, that's fine. That, or build Snoke up as the bad guy, and either follow through on that or have Palpatine be a twist halfway through the movie.

Maybe make Palpatine a Sith Ghost? They do exist to some degree. Or have him stuck in some other limbo that requires him to hijack Rey. Anything is better than that "if I do this you do this, but then I'll do this so you would have to do this, but really I'm going to do this so either way my entire plan was completely unnecessary lmao" clusterfuck where he's a living corpse impaled on a robot arm.

Cut out the macguffins, or make them feel less inconsequential. Okay, so the dagger storyline involves rebooting C3PO. It has stakes and gravitas to a degree. Cool - keep that. What the fuck is up with the wayfinders though? Why are there only two? Why do they need to be so convoluted?

Maybe have Maz Kanata talk about Luke's lightsaber, and/or have her involved in finding a way to Palpatine. It would pay off her appearance in TFA and explain her importance to Luke.

By making Rose Tico a great navigator in TLJ, her role on the team can be expanded in TRoS and she can do like star charts and stuff for all the different worlds they're going to - she can come along instead of being fucked over by JJ Abrams in this movie. She can even help with Maz Kanata's wayfinding plan. In short - make her a part of the team.

Honestly, fuck the Knights of Ren right off. They're a waste of time. That, or set them up in TLJ - hell, have one of them on Canto Bight and another one on Snoke's ship. Maybe even retcon Phasma into being a Knight of Ren. Anything but bringing them back as a mook squad in this movie, with no weight or character.

Honestly? Show Palpatine surviving the Death Star crash. The retcon is all the more painful for being completely and utterly unexplained. Doesn't matter if you have to touch the source material to do it, CG in a force shield as Palpatine falls through fire and have him hobble to a life support pod that takes him to where he is in TRoS. Literally anything is better than "Somehow, Palpatine returned".

Either cut the healing powers, or leave them in sans Reylo kiss.

In short: reduce Leia's role instead of using cut content and a CGI puppet to stitch together a performance, leave Luke alive until this movie, kill Snoke in this movie OR have him be the big bad, make Finn/Rey a thing over Reylo - again, no hate, I just prefer this pairing over Reylo - write more details about Palpatine's survival, either put some Knights of Ren into TLJ or don't have them at all, get rid of the Wayfinder macguffins and/or work Maz Kanata and "master navigator" Rose Tico into a plot to find Palpatine.

At the end of the day, there should have been a planning committee for the Star Wars story, not for the merchandise. You can see from how the sequel trilogy crammed out merchandise that Disney was clearly asking for marketable merch, but the story is a trainwreck - there was a Star Wars committee, just not where the property needed one.

The sequel trilogy was a worthwhile experiment imo - it didn't pay off, but it was worth doing just to see if it was possible. But even then, I would prefer three decent movies over a couple of experimental trainwrecks retroactively ruining one decent movie.

This post was mostly trying to work with what the movies already have, though by TRoS you really do have to start overhauling shit to make it work. In my eyes, the longest that these movies should run is two hours - any more than that is a slog, especially when the movie feels like it takes two hours. The Last Jedi felt like two and a half hours. The Rise of Skywalker felt like a two hour movie crammed into 80 minutes, despite the fact it was longer than 2 hours. The best way to make these movies more watchable is to make them shorter - cut out superfluous money shot scenes like the Canto Bight chase, have more efficient scenes to balance out the stylish scenes. The sequel trilogy is short on efficiency imo, and without a movie where it feels like progress is being made, the style doesn't work.

So tweak some things to make each movie more efficient.

[freevoidman]

Okay I’m reading through Porg’s update so some of y’all can save your braincells and here are some great highlights (under a readmore bc i couldn’t help but tear into a few things she suggested):

Flat out ignoring that Vergil had changed by the end of the game as a result of V and Urizen’s separate experiences.

In trying to make V and Urizen their own character, she throws out the idea of Vergil being manipulated by the Qliphoth/Urizen (??? somehow??? even though the tree is implied to be non-sentient i believe???), with V being a Devil hunter looking through the remains of Mallet Island (which was completely blown up, turned to rubble, and then swallowed by the sea, so... that can’t happen), finding the cane which makes him youthful and not sick but... having the cane makes it so he can only kill demons through the cane??? for some reason??? And he needs the Qliphoth fruit to heal himself and free him from the curse???

How did she make V’s backstory even more confusing and complicated how the fuck did she do that

Almost immediately after bringing up the cane, she instead changes it to be one of the rings he’s wearing because she wants her “precious V” to use weapons other than the cane, which makes all the prior paragraphs about the cane’s curse and only using it pointless. She’s the one writing this fic, why can’t she edit her own work so it’s more cohesive?

Despite saying that V should be a Devil Hunter, she doesn’t explain why someone who is supposed to be killing demons would form a pact with at least three to fight demons. Her rewrite dismisses Visions of V, and she even states later that the manga is a waste of time as it won’t ever be translated into English (which 1) is not a limiting factor to reading it as many people have translated it already and 2) doesn’t dismiss it’s value at building up V’s character, who she supposedly likes the best).

Also, for someone who complains about DMC5 being a rehash of DMC3, she’s sure doing her best to change it to a rehash of DMC1 (Vergil being controlled by an outside force, bringing back Mallet Island, bringing back Mundus [the cane is supposed to be tied to Mundus]).

V apparently can’t be human because she wants to give him a devil trigger, despite having 3 familiars and his own strength. Okay I guess?

Also it’s really fucking sick how she describes V changing, because it’s apparently V fusing with Nightmare? Devil May Cry has never been one for body horror but she straight up says she was inspired by “The Thing (1982), The Fly (1986), Bloodborne, and Resident Evil 7″ for the transformation imagery and I wanted to nope the fuck out of there real quick.

Her segments of actual fiction writing and dialogue are really bad it’s almost like a parody Youtube skit.

She switches between prose and script writing randomly, it’s really odd. She does it primarily with Dante i’ve noticed? Here’s an example I wrote of what she does:

“Hey, don’t stress out about it will you?” Says John following a few steps behind VINCENT: Don’t get your panties in a twist

And that just happens... randomly? Like, there’s no indication why she’s doing that it just happens.

She straight up writes notes in her fic about the controls for character actions in-game what the hell--

She also shamelessly puts in a link to artwork that clearly isn’t her’s (and I highly doubt she got permission to post about) to try and show what V’s Devil Trigger would look like. I couldn’t find it because I don’t know how pixiv works, but that’s just a shitty move, especially with how she treats artists on tumblr when they draw art of Vergil.

EDIT: Porg has now straight up copy-pasted the art into her fic without the artist’s permission which is, we all know, fucking theft. While it is good artistry, is just a weird mashup of Vergil’s and Dante’s. It’s not all that unique and I don’t understand why she had to reference a bunch of body horror shit when all the Devil Triggers in game are essentially just a large flash of light and a seamless transition between forms??? It’s good art, I’m not trying to bash the artist, but... Porg, you could’ve been a little more original here rather than just ripping off another artist’s designs...

Everyone in her fic acts super casually to seeing Vergil alive in the Qliphoth and it’s like... honey, no.

Vergil acts WILDLY out of character holy fuck. Like, I know I should have expected that but this is NOT how Vergil would act in the slightest. She’s pretty much writing an OC.

Building off of this: EVERYONE acts OOC and... it’s not exactly cringey, but it is perfect proof that Porg doesn’t know what she’s doing and hasn’t properly analyzed the characters.

Dante acts weirdly... detached? There’s no sign of him acting like his normal goofball-y self, and he’s much more serious than normal. He actually acts more like cannon Vergil than himself, actually. (He also knows CPR apparently? Which... is a skill he would really never bother learning, so...)

Nero doesn’t act nearly as emotional, and acts calmly for some reason. You can’t feel any of his emotions behind his dialogue, only through the adverbs added to the tags)

V is too informative. He knows way too much about random shit that... no one should rightfully know. I’ll mention it more later, but... V doesn’t act like himself and I don’t really know how to explain it.

Vergil is essentially her OC. Seriously--he’s not as brooding or snarky, he’s far too open and apologetic, there’s practically no sense of rivalry between him and Dante. Weirdly, he acts more like canon V than fic!V does, despite the fact that Porg wants to establish V and Vergil and separate characters. His actions also make no sense when put alongside his canon personality. We aren’t reading anything about Vergil, we’re reading about Porg’s weirdly idealized version of him.

I’m going to make a break in the post here because I feel like this is the part that needs the most attention:

Porg goes OUT OF HER WAY to dedicate a GIANT portion of this chapter to her own OC: Nero’s mom. There are several long paragraphs of establishing the relationship between her OC and Vergil, talking about leaving Fortuna, how they were ‘happy’ and then saying that after a hurricane (inspired by hurricane hugo, you’ll see later) she got separated from Vergil, never reconnected with him, GAVE BIRTH, died from a demon attack with Nero staying near her corpse, and then Nero was found by humans and taken off the mainland to be taken to an orphanage on Fortuna. She wanted a massive amount of time to be taken out of the fun parts of playing Devil May Cry to establish a relationship that would never come back and essentially turn into a 15 minute soap opera inserted into a game about having fun killing demons.

Alright back to the noted highlights.

Porg confirms in her fic that the universe of Devil May Cry happens in the US, and that Fortuna is an island along the southeast coast and I want to fucking rip my eyeballs out at this point.

The ONLY REASON why she is doing this is because she lives in Florida. I know she does, and she just wants to imply that this is all happening near her home turf. How anyone who lives in Florida thinks an island like Fortuna can exist is beyond me though, because playing through 4, most of the buildings are inspired by Italian designs, and no one in the states would build an entire island with italian designs. I’ve been to Florida multiple times--there’s no buildings there even REMOTELY designed to match Fortuna.

EDIT: I have been informed that Porg actually lives in Pennsylvania, not Florida, which makes both more and less sense. Why Florida? Why not a hidden island up on the east coast? Why does this have to be taking place in the states at all Porg???

Yeah, let’s take Nero off the MAINLAND OF FLORIDA after a DEVASTATING HURRICANE and send him to an orphanage on an ISLAND which would’ve been hit the hardest by ANY hurricane. TOTAL SENSE. 

She tries to make her own timeline for the series using actual real world dates and events and it’s terrible (she references Hurricane Hugo in 1989, and confidently states that 3 took place in 1990, despite all evidence for the actual dates of events being fan theory established through circumstantial evidence).

There’s so much horror movie inspiration here--not cheap horror, but really twisted shit that... doesn’t fit with Devil May Cry’s tone at all? In the slightest? She references Jacob’s Ladder, plus all the other body horror media I wrote above.

Straight up just tears Vergil’s arm off which sure, I guess we gotta make THAT a parallel between Nero and Vergil. They can have a father son moment over being physically maimed.

In the scene immediately before this, Urizen picks up Vergil by the head and roots around Vergil’s memories (somehow???) to show him all the ‘bad moments’ in his life to traumatize him. She describes it as the audience getting flashes of him falling to hell, charging Mundus, being Nelo Angelo, etc. 

This causes Vergil to cry and beg for Urizen to stop. Then Urizen rips off his arm. So. Yeah. Another point for the OOC!Vergil/OC-taking-Vergil’s-place board.

Also this point ALONE made me realize that Porg does not know how much time, effort, and money needs to be put into making assets. Like, the entire fic she was stressing that everything be done in 5′s HD Graphics--including the ruins of Mallet Island, so I have to assume she’d want these little snippets in HD too, which would be a massive money hole creating these assets for one scene that lasts maybe ten seconds total.

I know I stated it in one of my earlier posts, but most of what she’s writing would fit better with a sequel for the reboot series, not DMC5. It would make her OOC writing of Vergil make sense, all the horror movie inspiration and body horror shit would fit better there, especially all the crappy dialogue too.

She somehow made Griffon even MORE annoying than in cannon.

BTW if I had to listen to poetry while fighting the final boss of a video game, I’d sooner turn my PS4 off. Not that poetry isn’t cool and all, but it cheapens the final fight and distracts you. It wouldn’t work.

EDIT: I realized this point made no sense without context, sorry. Porg made the Book of Urizen (the poetry book by William Blake referenced multiple times by V) either weirdly prophetic or made it out like Blake had inner knowledge of demon powers or... something along those lines, and V magically has the knowledge that reciting poetry from the book about Urizen will... harm him? Weaken him? Open a gate to hell (she mentions a portal appearing near him)? It’s very unclear, but she essentially rewrites Urizen as the final boss, and makes it three stages (V [Griffon recites some verses, which is what the first point was about], Vergil and Dante [this is where Vergil gets his arm ripped off btw], and then Nero) with all three of them reading poetry from the book to deal the “final blow” to Urizen. I’d much rather have Vergil be the final boss than have to go through a three-stage boss fight while every character I play as recites poetry to kill the boss.

She mentions Dante using Sin DT against Urizen but I’m pretty sure with her fuckery of the game’s events Dante can’t GET Sin DT? Because there’s no fight between Nero and Urizen where he’d intervene?

COMPLETELY IGNORES VERGIL’S DEVELOPMENT OF WANTING TO TRAVEL WITH HIS BROTHER THROUGH HELL TO ELIMINATE THE QLIPHOTH FUCK OFF.

Also she changed the lore of the Qliphoth so that it sprouts semi-naturally around every 500 or so years? So... shouldn’t leaving the Qliphoth roots be fine now? Since it’s natural?

Nico acts like growing back arms is totally normal

Wrote an INCREDIBLY shoe-horned in moment in the van with Dante filling Trish and Lady in about finding Vergil and everything that happened where, once again, Trish and Lady act almost completely nonplussed that Vergil is alive after 20+ years in hell, with about 9 of those ten years being trapped under Mundus’ control and corrupted by the Demon King

Seriously why is no one surprised in this fic that Vergil survived? Dante has a brief moment before finding him, but everyone finds out and accepts it like flipping a switch (once again--ESPECIALLY DANTE, which is NOT how the grieving process works)

Porg states that the ending is trash because the twins are fighting in hell, but completely ignores that most of Dante and Vergil’s lives have been built on conflict and they like fighting demons, especially Dante. Both of them were happy and doing what they love.

She also completely ignores through this entire thing that Dante was really fucking depressed in the novels leading up to 5 but hey I don’t even know if she can read.

I can vaguely agree that Trish and Lady were sidelined and they should’ve had a bigger role. However, I can’t fault the directors for not doing this, because they were already developing three playable characters with their own unique fighting styles. She writes all this shit about the story, writes notes about controls and mission layouts, but forgets that it takes a lot more than pressing a single button to code a game.

She just doesn’t know what she’s talking about. Seriously, none of these things are cohesive or edited properly, and despite her saying she wanted better for Vergil, or Nero, or Dante, or V, she writes all of them incredibly out of character and doing illogical actions. I just... I don’t get it.

The best part is--I can’t even tell her about these things, or give constructive criticism. She moderates the comments on her fic and isn’t afraid to delete anything she doesn’t agree with or can’t make a ‘passionate rant’ about.

[katoska]

A headcanon popped into my head and I think I just accidentally talked myself into crack shipping Mindy/Michael.

Oops.

tl:dr: Mindy must have gone to hell after her death because of the no points after dying rule, so her being in stasis for years doesn’t make sense. I think Michael was her demon for a bit, and his thing for selfish, rude women who are good-ish people deep, deep down isn’t new. She doesn’t remember her time in hell bc Michael invented the mindwipe for her so she could go into the Medium Place unburdened by bad memories (e.g., several failed seduction attempts. Don’t tell me she wouldn’t.) Her case is what gave him the idea that the system is broken but can be changed. If a Medium Place can be created, why not a Purgatory? So he built one near her property and occasionaly let the humans slip away to her place bc isolation is a bummer and because she needs improve if she wants to have any chance of getting out of there. Basically, as much as Michael admires Doug Forcett, Mindy actually came up with something to improve the whole world while she was high as a kite, so she is way more awesome and deserves to go to the Good Place, and Michael is trying to get her there.

I posted on reddit about how it would make more sense that Mindy went to the Bad Place first. After all, the people in the afterlife can’t see the future, so they couldn’t have known that Mindy’s sister would find her plans. Therefore, Mindy being in stasis for a really long time - until the consequences off her actions became clear -  makes no sense. Points stop upon death. She must have been in hell until someone in Accounting noticed that the points she would have gotten - which were still being tracked in order to subtract them from her sister’s score - were enough for the Good Place.

So if Mindy has been in Hell but doesn’t remember that, it means she got mind-wiped. Why invent mind-wipes for the Bad Place, anyway? Sure, Michael might have argued that psychologically fresh humans are more fun to work with, but from the human’s POV, it lessens the amount of torture they experience. But a human about to leave TBP would absolutely need one. It’s possible Michael invented it specifically for Mindy.

Michael didn’t have to build his neighborhood half an hour away from Mindy’s property. I’m pretty sure he could have prevented the gang’s 15 escapes to Mindy’s (”So annoying how you managed to slip away from me all those times.” I always found that line and its delivery really... weird? Almost sarcastic), but those visits made Mindy empathise with them (”I’m rooting for you guys”). Some of the gang’s betterment rubbed off on her. And he somehow got Janet to omit all sorts of info, but not the Medium Place?

Speaking of betterment, the “Good Place” always functioned as purgatory, and Michael never seemed bothered by the fact that all the challenges he gave the humans only made them better and made them closer and happier. He only ever rebooted them when they figured out where they were and their motivation got corrupted. Their initial motivation was “get better/keep your head down to stay in heaven”, but then they helped each other because they cared, to the point where they argued with each other who would get to sacrifice themself and go to hell for their friends. Twice. Ok, except Jason, but 3 out of 4 ain’t bad. I’ve said it before, but it really very much looks to me like Michael was trying to make Purgatory happen all along.

And like, if Mindy has been to hell despite drawing up plans for a charity that basically improved the whole world in every way - tho holy shit, how bad had it been before?! - a charity that wouldn’t exist without her work, then she had an assigned demon, right? Or two demons. I mean, there’s also Trevor, who was in her video and also clearly worked with Michael before. Michael has canonically always liked humans, and more recently selfish brilliant benches who pretend they are total hard-ashes but who do care very deep down. 

Maybe not so recently.

Michael cares about Justice. In the form of just desserts, but still. Mindy going to hell despite improving the whole world would have made very clear to him that the system is broken. Her case being the first exception to the rule of “No more points after death” and the creation of the Medium Place meant that it could be fixed, if only there were a way to enable people to get points post mortem. So now there’s Purgatory, and it’s right in Mindy’s backyard.

So for people arguing which of the humans was the biggest influence on Michael turning good, there it is!  

[altonadventures]

ALTON ADVENTURES BIG ANNOUNCEMENT

So...because its Friday and I usually update AA on Fridays, I figured it was time to make my big announcement! 

And that is...that Alton Adventures is changing. A little bit. 

Am I rebooted the comic again? No haha! Once I get back to it it shall continue as normal but some characters may look a bit different going forward. 

Who may those characters be?

Sir Gareth Nemesis 

Why is he changing? 

Sir Nemesis’ change is actually less drastic than one may think. For starters, he needed a design rehaul. I wanted his armor to be more simple, easier to draw but with still details that could tie him to Nemesis (the green eye, the arms, the light pink details instead of inconsistent tentacles). I also had an issue where his hair was too close to his skin color, so to combat this I turned him into a ginger! His eye color also changed from gold to green, another thing to visually tie him more to Nemesis. 

So yes, I changed Sir Nem’s design because I was unhappy with it. His armor was never drawn consistently ever, I was constantly changing the tone of his hair and his skin so that was inconsistent. I want my designs to be more consistent and polished going forward.

What else is different? Well, you can probably tell he looks much more serious, like in older pictures I drew of him. Why is that? Well, I was kind of..honestly tired of his role as the “dad character tm” that he kind of turned out to be. It almost undermined his true characterization and turned him into a typical over the top exaggerated hero character. And I started to realize how much I missed his original concept. A battle hardened solider that was filled with regret and remorse, who heavily sympathizes with the plight of the alien he’s locked in combat with. He’s still much a father however, as he has a biological son and adopts an alien who mimics his likeness (hence another reason he’s a ginger now as his Nemesis daughter always was one). He’s just returned to his roots as a character. Because I felt that characterization was a unique one for the Nemesis ride. And it was an idea I really loved. Sir Nemesis actually WAS one of my favorite characters...I wanted his role to be much larger than it is in the comics. I don’t blame anyone for him becoming a joke, I did initially kind of fuel the fire for it, I’m just hoping that its not to late to get back to the Sir Nemesis I originally wanted to write. And of course, all my characters are still meme and joke worthy. I just want to tackle much more serious issues with my comic and show the more serious side of some of my characters and don’t want there entire existence to be a joke Mr.S can’t have too many folks 1 uping him in the laughs department!  I guess to note with this change that his original voice claim has also been solidified as well. It’s a more somber and serious tone that I feel fits him as a character. 

Final Notes 

Sir Nemesis is a character that I have a lot of thought put into. His backstory is tragic, emotional, and his character is complex and he’s not the perfect hero people might image him as. I plan for his Arc to follow the Fireworks arc in the comic, as well as I am planning to start some more text heavy short stories about how the Secret Weapons became Secret Weapons (which I will likely call Secret Weapon Short Stories hehe) and will be writing his first. Also a very important thing i must address. Yes, the eye on his chest moves. (I have a gif but it doesn’t want to work on this post Ill have it up later ><)

Erica Annabelle Cloud 

ooof okay this is a huge one. Confession time. Erica was always my least favorite character. Why? She just had...no character. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with her, her design felt phoned in and there because I needed an Air/Galatica character, (yes, she is changing as her Galatica stage too). She was just. not well thought out. She had a dual identity but I think a lot of people didn’t pick up on that? She felt like a Rita 2.0 as just a nice and friendly optimistic person and literally had 0 backstory. Originally she was supposed to have had some sort of accident that turned her into Galatica and she had memory loss and forgotten about when she was Air, yeah it was a mess. That eventually just turned into Nebula Corona being a character she made up (bc her one trait was that she was into space and wrote a lot) that she played as when her rides themeing changed. 

She was just..barely a character and her design was abysmal (Her Galatica suit was okay but her Air outfit was an afterthought) She needed a massive visual upgrade. A sleeker flight suit that makes more sense (I used a ref or two for this design!) A different face shape to help her stand out more, my signature they wear glasses they have dot eyes look. Long, wispy, flowing hair to resemble those trails planes make. A bit more lanky and tall. And let me tell you I LOVE her design now. It looks so much more unique and you can just SEE she has so much more character now!  As for her characterization im going full into her being a nerd. A very tech nerd at that! She designed her suit to help her fly at her best, and eventually will be the one that designs and builds all her Galatica tech! Her Galatica design hasn’t been done yet, mostly bc I wanted to focus on her current comic canon design, but not much would change I feel with her upgrade anyways! She is effectively the brains of the group, and the others often turn to her for plans of attack when dealing with a situation, or innovative solutions to problems! I have yet to get a voice claim for her, but im sure one will come to me soon enough! 

Final Notes

Erica/Nebula was a character I struggled to connect with. Everyone else had Airs that were either super plot important, or just much more cool and creative in general. I felt, that with my Air/Galatica she was just there, and I wanted her to be more. So a full character rehaul was done with her and it makes me so happy. She feels much more fleshed out, better designed, and I’m super excited to do more stuff with her, and hopefully you will all see her much more now that I’m a lot happier with her as a character! <3 

Welp that's the end of the updates....wait. Hold on. I have something written here. What could this be? Oh! I remember now! 

Black Hole, AkA Beatrix, will be joining the MAIN CAST of Alton Adventures! 

When I drew my Black Hole design, I knew she was something special. She stands out compared to a lot of my characters, and her design SCREAMS main character. While the biggest main roles will still be held by Mr. S and Rita, I wanted to add another non SW coaster to the main crew, and because Canonically Corkscrew is MIA, Black Hole seemed like a fitting addition to the main crew! As she isn’t human, a species literally only referred to as Black Holes, I thought making her a main character and giving her a big arc would help flesh out the reality of non humans in Alton Adventures! Her powers and design and character and personality are just too fun to shove her into the background. I feel that adding her to the main cast gives them not only another character to support them, but a closer friend! You will all see her much more in the future for certain! 

Well that's about it! In terms of comic updates themselves...its still going to be hiatus as long as I’m being swamped with school work. I hope you all understand. I’ll try to squeeze in updates over the breaks I have IF im not working on assignments for class. As I also said, I wanna do short stories as well, to expand the world and explain it better, as a comic will only develop the world so quickly and lots of you have tons of questions! I also wanna do something animated at some point, that’s my dream. I’ve ALSO mentioned to some people about merch, likely going for making stickers first since that's simple. I got an excited reaction for that so I’ll come up with designs for them soon! I just wanna do a lot with Alton Adventures, because I know how much it means to people, and of course it means so much. Goodness I really need to actually get to this park, I look quiet silly constantly gushing over a themepark I’ve never been to all the time XP  That all aside I thank you all for sticking by me. I promise that even if I don’t do comic updates as frequently during the school year, I’ll still work to push out as much AA content I can outside of that! I’m always open to suggestions to what you guys want to see! ALSO, working on a big google doc spreadsheet with info on all the characters I’ll be posting when its more completed! So be on the lookout for that! 

Again thank you to everyone who’s stuck with me through this, Your support makes me feel nothing but proud of what I’ve created. These characters may have been created out of something some may consider silly or odd, but the only thing that matters to me if that I can make at least someone happy with what I create. 

Patreon (note that patrons got to see all of this content as it was being worked on!) l Ko-fi