#bc they usually come after several interviews

[alphacrone]

job applications with “assignments” are so dumb. i wrote the cover letter, i wrote the resume (twice because your online applications SUCKS), i put together the portfolio, i did at least one interview, and now you’re going to give me homework which i’m obviously going to spend more than the allotted time on because i need money and then my quality of work will never match that of my interview work because i won’t be able to lie about how much time it took irl. why are you like this

[parkeryangs]

Packing ask! Could you tell us about some of your fav Faroe head cannons? (packing hell if so fun and im definitely in it as well)

i don't really have many thoughts on an alive version faroe in canon SO i'm gonna talk some various au things per usual lol;

in the meowlevolent universe, when john is "officially" a part of the family, they start to spend a lot of the weekends camping & being outdoors while she's growing up! & john teaches her how to fish (they both tease arthur because he refuses to help bait the hooks)

when she's in middle school, she gets a seizure-alert dog called newt:] he and harper are bffs even though harp is decidedly not as young as she used to be

she goes to college in arkham where her dads still teach!:) she studies studio arts and becomes a painter, (and even though arthur can't ever see her work, he and john go to every art show. john takes pictures + describes each one to arthur, still)

she meets her girlfriend, addison larson, during a show. addison works as an art journalist in fall river and long considers herself a "fan" of the up-and-coming faroe lester when they run into one another at a gallery. they start to keep in touch, and a few weeks later meet for coffee for an "interview" though both wish it was a date (it was a date the whole time)

in the apocalypse au, she's hard of hearing; her eardrum ruptured after exposure to gunshot noise without protection, so it's irreversible + left her with tinnitus and balance problems

she's scared of heights, due to inheriting her dad's essential tremor (though less severe!) & also being epileptic in this au too lol

arthur + parker don't want her handling weaponry as much as they can help it, but she's a better shot than both of them lol

^ bc of this, parker calls her sniper :]

she has burn scars, mostly concentrated on her left arm; when she was a baby, the lester house caught on fire & bella died of smoke inhalation. after that, faroe & arthur temporarily lived in a dangerous part of the city before arthur met parker and they moved moved in with him.

she can play the guitar!! being 15 in this au, she's very much in the mindset of wanting to be nothing like her father (though they are so alike its painful lol), so after refusing to learn piano at his offer for years, he gets her a guitar for her bday and she loves it.

she's a bit reckless and endangers herself/others a Lot solely because she's still clinging to the pre-apocalypse "how things used to be", mindset and as such makes incredibly poorly thought-out decisions.

she was born + raised in arkham, but has a decently thick southern accent, incidentally taken on from closely growing up around parker (who's, ofc, a texas boy forever and ever)

[stillgeekingout]

I was gonna be like "would you believe it's my 10th one of these" but apparently tumblr has a CHARACTER LIMIT now????? why would they nerf me on the year I decided not to worry about how long it was

anyway I guess I'm splitting this in 2 so reflections on 2023 part one~

let's start with work bc then I want to be done with it: I spent all year doing trainings (& 2 conferences) and researching and preparing to apply for an advisor position if it ever opened up. it did open up in spring, I applied and did not get it, the new advisor was not good and got fired, I applied again having done much more training and still did not get it, I applied for a different advisor position trying to triumphantly leave my office and did not get that either. so now I’m still in my same position working under the person who beat me for the job but this time with a bunch of extra responsibility that I gave myself trying to prep to be promoted. lol. if I sound very bitter it’s because I am :)))) 

all that being said, I do still mostly like my job from day to day. and I still want to do advising, probably. if they’ll ever hire me for it

related to work but less bitter: I had mostly good relationships with my coworkers. one of them was pregnant for a lot of the year and just had her baby last week and I’m very excited to meet her (we went to her baby shower despite all her friends being Very Christian lol it was a time) (this coworker is uhhhh A Lot but it’s complicated lol). I got to be on the hiring committee for another coworker which was a cool experience and also she is very nice. got closer with another coworker who I previously had kind of a tenuous relationship with (and now she works fully remote so it doesn’t even matter) (jk)

another thing I did in my quest to Be Hireable was basically take over supervising the student leaders (work study students) at work. shoutout to esteban, isa, aar and sheri lol

I have inherited my mother’s trait of getting attached to problem children. there are several students who are a recurring Thorn In My Side but also I’m rooting for them

last work thing that is only tangentially a work thing: I became the advisor for GSA at my campus and now I have a bunch of queer college students under my wing. a few of us walked in pride which was my first time being in the parade and it was wild. also we had an event for trans awareness week and I am proud of them for coming up with it :)) more exciting things to come this year. feels good to have a little corner where I can provide support in the face of so many attacks from the FL govt

let’s get the other big bad thing out of the way! my mental health was shit lol. I briefly was doing virtual appointments with a therapist in the spring but it mostly just made me feel weird and untherapizable. (as in, I didn’t feel like I was getting much out of it but I think part of that was that it was zoom calls from my car on my phone during lunch breaks) although it did lead to me leaving my phone outside of the bedroom at night and putting timers on my apps which I think have been net positives even if they haven’t made as much of a difference as I hoped. 

the aforementioned job stress was a huge part of it, the application process lasted like 2 months and then they left me on the hook after the interview for Multiple Weeks which was. a bad time.

another part of it was I was alone a lot on weekends and I’m not very good at using my time off to do fun and nice things when I’m by myself, usually I end up just stewing in my brains. I did try to get in the habit of occasionally going to these nice gardens near us so maybe I will do that more this year also.

also health related: got my first mammogram this year. it was uncomfortable but fine. also got my first pap smear which was QUITE PAINFUL AND UNPLEASANT but I did survive it

also tangentially health related: I tried a few times throughout the year to do yoga. for a lil bit I was doing it with some coworkers after work once a week. some of it I did with some people from the carry on discord. it was very intermittent but better than nothing at all!

last health thing: my dad’s siblings had an Exceptionally Shitty Summer. one of his sisters died, another of his sisters had an extreme staph infection and was in the hospital for weeks, and one of his brothers had a mini stroke and possibly also a heart attack? the latter two are doing okay now but it was rough for a minute there

ENOUGH BAD STUFF I turned 30 this year! three full decades on this earth

Ingrid got her work authorization and a job and later in the year her green card!

I paid off my car (and also my car is having a lot of minor problems but that’s just… having a car)

I made a few financial mistakes (messed up our taxes, accidentally got a best buy credit card) but they are hopefully still fixable and overall we still saved money by the end of the year. we tried to keep a budget for a while but it was hard to keep up with. we also tried to join a credit union but their customer service was really weird

made a halfhearted attempt at local politics (went to a few protests, one city planning thing, and one socialist alternative meeting)

stay tuned for part 2 since tumblr hates me apparently

[minusgangtime]

((https://www.tumblr.com/minusgangtime/743740480587808768/eh-its-alright-im-just-trying-to-put-things?source=share continuing on this-

- Blue has seen quite a few other anomalies in containment during his time here - I imagine he feels bad for the sentient ones that aren't evil/murderous, but Star still stuck out to him a lot. And he wants to know more

- he asks if he can be allowed to interact with her more. Several weeks of paperwork and trying to get permission later, they finally let the interactions happen, to see what Star would do if around someone who wasn't the personnel studying her

- it's a slow process. Star is still highly nervous around anybody here.

- but something about Blue is so. Inviting. He's not here to poke or prod or inject her with things or force her to do anything. He just wants to be with her for the sake of it

- she starts speaking up more. I imagine she didn't really have a name before this - maybe she had a different one in the past, but it's long forgotten now. So maybe he helps her come up with one. Even if she's still referred to as her numeral designation by everyone else, having her own name helps her feel like more of a person. More like herself

- maybe one day Blue decides to visit her again, only to find her crying in the corner of her room. She froze when she saw him looking at her, but didn't object to him getting closer, even hugging her. It's the first time she's ever recieved any kind of affection in so, so long

- and the dam just sorta breaks. She tells him about what happened, that this wasn't the first time she'd been captured and experimented on, and her former captor was even more cruel than the Foundation. I think Blue's heart breaks for her in that moment

- it's. A long night. It takes a long time for Star to fully calm down, and when she does, she's exhausted, and she ends up just...falling asleep in Blue's arms. It's the first time she's slept peacefully in ages. He stays there with her until a researcher finds them and asks for Blue to come back with them. He's very hesitant bc he doesn't want to leave Star behind. Maybe the researcher lets him borrow a pen and paper to write a note for her explaining where he'd gone. I imagine the visits become a lot more frequent after that

- Star feels safe when Blue is around. She wants to see him very frequently, but is still too scared to ask for a long time, which leads to him usually initiating the visits himself-

- and as it turns out, Star is also a lot more compliant and open with interviewing and such if Blue is with her; the researchers use it to their advantage, getting information out of her that she would never say otherwise, with her holding his hand the entire time. The interview is over when Blue starts giving them a dirty look XD

- Star doesn't quite realize that she's in love with him for a bit. She just knows that he's warm and kind, soft and...beautiful. And pretty cute at times too-

- she asks a researcher about what she's feeling; they're fascinated about one of the scp's developing romantic feelings for another, and since their bond has proved useful, they decide to let it continue

- Blue didn't fall quite as fast as Star did, but the realization hit like a truck when he realized he was thinking of her as beautiful, too. And even beyond that, she's sweet and loving, and she sure as hell doesn't deserve all she's been through

Ok this is rlly long and it's past 5 am-))

(FNFoundation Blue is like a guardian I love it 🥺)

[tinystepsforward]

i am so fucking sad tonight and i used to put that stuff on here like a decade ago so here we are again ig. just.

really horrid combination of things happening right now and it makes me extra upset bc i'm into my second month on low-dose t and the first month was going so fucking well for like. being conducive to the last of my trauma recovery? and then, of course, recovery isn't linear and also my parents seem intent to retraumatise me whenever they can. but like.

english terf hits our shores

completely inescapable discourse, and also targeted abuse, on twitter and elsewhere. also i wrote an op-ed bc our media are useless and we need at least a few trans voices out there (hopefully it does get picked up, but it was gruelling to write)

my mother switches from spreading conspiracy theories about climate change to a sudden and vicious focus on trans people. not that she ever stopped being a bigot but usually it's one post every few months about how conversion therapy works and not several posts a day from people who want trans people murdered

scheduled to be interviewed for a study on conversion therapy survivors on tuesday

scheduled to go on holiday with my family on thursday. i booked a separate room so i won't have to attempt to take my (oral, twice daily with food, specifically bc the endo didn't want me on injections until we knew for sure i wouldn't need to suddenly stop t to avoid extended ptsd episodes) testosterone around family who would be very willing to attempt conversion therapy round fucking four on me

i have no idea if my job will still be there for me when i get back from this scheduled leave bc [gestures at tech companies and ai]

conference all day monday (tomorrow, technically) that i know will eat all my spoons, and that doesn't cater for my dietary needs so i'll have to pack food

and it's like. i am so sad. i am so so sad. i have been making a concerted effort w my family because my paatti (dad's mother) is in town, the one i've talked about before who doesn't know i'm gay and married bc my parents have prevented that happening. and i feel so lonely and so cut off bc as a diaspora/migrant family, and a mixed one at that, my only connection to my cultures is via my parents who fucking hate who i am. so i've been trying to hang out with her when they're not around. i said yes to this vacation, we'll get more time together and some pictures and stuff.

but i'm still fielding her questions about why i don't have a boyfriend. and my parents have decided to, right when i'm most stressed about being trans, and about connection to family, be the worst people they can be about it again i guess? and it's true that my conversion therapy/parental/religion trauma is the stuff i've never come back around to working on in therapy bc my parents are actively reopening the wound every few months and it's. hard to work with that.

fucking like. shocking that i recovered from ptsd once, after [black box of getting csaed more times than i can count], immediately got groomed in a way that's rly fucking complicated to talk about bc my ex is a trans woman who decided to come out as a child-grooming rapist and as trans in the same month, and terfs salivate over the idea of using people like her as a cudgel, and completely forgot that approximately 300 other things, sa and otherwise, happened to me along the way to the point where my psych said she was surprised/proud i haven't killed anyone yet.

so i'm sad about all of them at once rn except the brain injury means i can only hold about two in my active memory at a time and i keep alternating which ones i'm sad about like shuffling several decks of cards really fast i guess.

[glommergoop]

hi

please help a trans disabled system stay afloat

hi it's me. mr. ebeg. i’m here to beg on tumblr dot corn.

i’ve been trying to find consistent work for over a year and have had a couple interviews or other promising stuff, but nothing’s turned out. i keep trying to do commissions of multiple types (art, writing, and more), but i’ve literally gone 5+ months without a client sometimes. when i do get commissions it’s usually not for very much. i’m selling things i own online and locally. i’m borrowing money from cashapp and racking up extra fees because i can’t pay it back yet. i DO have section 8 now, which pays most of rent, i still have $30 a month to pay (fee for my pet cat) but genuinely even $30 is starting to become insanely hard to get. i’ll start getting food stamps at the end of this month (on 11/29/2022), so food will be ok after that

i’m literally trying every option and still nothing is keeping me afloat and i can’t fucking live this way anymore so i’m just gonna become the ebeg guy!

tdlr: i very desperately need help from anyone able to give if i'm going to be able to pay my rent and not be evicted next month!

i really just need at least $30 a month for what’s left of rent but would like to try to raise $185

- 185 is the average (give or take a bit) amount of bills that i have each month. not much in the long run, but still literally way out of my budget. i am frequently having to just let bills go unpaid until things get threatened to get cut off because i cannot make enough fucking money and i’m so tired. if i could get $185 i’d actually have some breathing room and maybe be able to save money. but also i’m aware that’s kind of a lot. beggars can’t be choosers, anything helps.

please don’t tag as don4tion or boost like that or tumblr will shadowban the post

bonus details about my situation under the if you care:

i also used to work with a place that’s supposed to help disabled people find work, but i finally quit working with them because they’d treated me very badly. (not gonna go too into depth about that bc it was genuinely traumatizing, but for reference my breaking point was when i arrived to a meeting to meet the new counselor they wanted me to work with since my old one left the company - my FIFTH fucking one in the time i’d been there - and... they literally didn’t even tell her that she’d be taking me onto her caseload. so she didn’t show up. i tried very hard for multiple months to still work with them because i DO need accommodations, and... was treated too poorly to make ANY progress and this particular event just broke me man.)

last month, i got some more money from my late tax return and i thought i’d be okay for a while because i could pay off bills. and then. an error then caused my bills to come out twice, putting me 200 fucking dollars in the negative and i spent the entire month having to beg my friends for money for food and to get out of the negative so i could pay that stupid fucking $30.  i had to contact my racist/transphobic jerk dad who i’d cut contact with because he doesn’t respect me being transgender at all, to ask him for the last $50. this was all extremely stressful to the point that i basically stopped sleeping - spent several days up all night (not in a row ofc but it still sucked), kept not being able to sleep until 7 am, etc. it was honest to god the worst time i’ve had in. a very long time.

basically i’m So Fucking Tired. the stress never ends and i need any help anyone can give me.

i’ve kind of given up on doing commissions of stuff but if you donate and would like to see examples of the fanfics or graphic design stuff i make, just send me a dm or something

[cookinguptales]

marmalademouse said: And every time you're reading someone’s predictions you have to wonder if they’re actually sharing their own thoughts or spreading leaks… 😩  Fandom life is tough.

------------

Right... Like I heard about the Freddie leaks when they first happened and after the initial flurry of excitement (especially when it became clear that this was only the beginning of the leaks), I made the conscious decision not to post much about it for several months... Once promo for the new season started, though, and I realized that everyone on all social media sites was already talking about Freddie specifically (if not all of the details of the leak), it was kind of like... ah, I guess I’m trying to dam a river with my fingers...

So I talk about some of the old leaks now, but I still try to label things pretty clearly when I’m about to talk about spoilers for leaks. I don’t mind talking generically about things that come out through official channels (official promo, interviews, imdb, etc.) bc those no longer feel like leaks, exactly, but like... idk, I’m willing to use Freddie’s existence in meta posts because that’s been confirmed by the show itself, but I don’t usually bring up what he said he did for a living in the leaked scene, y’know?

This is partially out of respect for the team, but also mostly just because I take those scenes as non-canon until they actually happen. Almost everything we know about Freddie in particular we only know from the casting stage, and we know for a fact that both Guillermo’s and the Djinn’s roles were changed considerably once the actors were cast and they realized they had gold on their hands.

So ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[fates-theysband]

2, 3, 9, & 16 ~ rebeccaselfships

@rebeccaselfships thank you!! i'm gonna answer this for my neoscum s/i rigoletto bc i need to flesh them out some more.

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

i am actually not sure of the "when" part of their appearance, like i'm constantly waffling between like "i think it'd make the most sense for them to join up during the denver arc but i don't want them to come off as some sort of replacement goldfish for max in terms of skills since they're a technomancer like he is and also i want them to be able to meet max and rhon and lala in person but any earlier than denver feels like it wouldn't offer many organic chances for the scum to meet them but AUGH"

so the "when" is undecided but everything else i've kind of figured out. basically their decker alias and mmo username are the same name (realistically a terrible idea but i never said they were smart) and it comes up on a matrix perception check z does on something (what exactly that thing is depends on when i want to write them in) and he's like "Is That My Fucking Dragonstorm Guildmate. because if it is they're in trouble and also have information" so he reaches out to them through game chat and finds out they actually live in the area so the team makes arrangements to meet them. and the five of them pass a very pleasant visit until, this series being what it is, shit gets real and rig has to flee with the scum and is like "shit i don't have anywhere else to go here, i have family in [City That's Nearby But Not Too Nearby], can I stick with you until we get there?" and they agree and by the time they get to that city rig doesn't want to leave and the rest of the scum don't want them to leave either.

3. how do the other characters generally feel about your self insert?

rig did not get out much during the events of the series and kind of has to fight not to clam up in social situations (especially awkward or tense ones, which with the neoscum around is every social situation) so a lot of less plot relevant npcs think they're weird. like if you interviewed an npc that spoke to the neoscum after rigoletto joined the party they'd be like "yeah there was some big burly guy with cat eyes who wouldn't shut up about his truck, some dude in a wizard costume drinking out of a huge fast food drink cup full of neo-raising cane's sauce, a guy with a fucked-up eye who kept trying to convince me he was a robot, a girl who asked me for candy and then tried to steal my wallet, and also some weirdo with a stitched-up face petting this fuzzy purple worm thing wrapped around their shoulders and looking at me like a fuckin tbh creature" (all of those canon character descriptions are based on things the party has actually done, albeit not at the same time usually)

people they have not majorly clammed up around (so either guest characters or friends of the scum) see them as being more of a very friendly person who is several years out of practice interacting with other people.

9. who are your self insert’s closest friends?

they were really Close Good Friends with the neoscum after they joined the party, even before they officially Got With dak, tech, and z. pox is like the little sister they never had, and idk if max is actually going to rejoin the party but i feel like they'd be close to him in sort of a mentorly way because he's like. only very recently realized that his abilities are actually rare and not everyone has "brain internet" so i feel like they immediately try to be the role model to him they wish they'd had at his age. also due to them and lala being metamours the two of them have some opportunities to interact with each other and they become good friends too.

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

they would like to build more robotic animals that look like large living versions of Funny Meme Toys.

[themand0lorian]

Behind the Mask // 1 // Unprecedented Times

Summary: The ad seeking personal assistants leaves you with more than you bargained for.

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader (no Y/N)

Rating: Teen

Words: ~2000 (AO3)

Tags: enemies to lovers, miscommunications, lots of Pandemic talk, Dieters a big douche, reader dishes it back, this is the setup for a multichapter fic!

no movie spoilers (unless unintentional)

Notes: Fell into the Dieter Bravo brainrot hard, folks. Just assume this will all end up AU when the actual movie comes out.

No tags bc I don’t have a good list for him lol

The ad couldn’t have come at a better time.

PERSONAL ASSISTANTS NEEDED ASAP—NO EXPERIENCE PREFERRED CALL 1-800-CLF-BSTS

People were panic buying toilet paper. Hopeful chirpings about flattening curves and getting a few days off from work fell to quiet murmurs. Masks had become the new fashion—and, apparently, political—statement.

And your company had just closed down, the small startup unable to stay afloat after so many months at home.

Though your boss was remorseful, the sudden shift—from “everything is fine” to decidedly not fine—left everyone out of work, no severance, no transferrable skills, no nothing. You had been bored at home for weeks, the welcome reprieve turning stifling as you looked at the same four walls. Speaking of, there were talks of the rent freeze being lifted, and you knew your smarmy landlord would do anything to squeeze a few extra cents on the next payment.

Cents you no longer had.

So you called.

The woman on the phone was polite enough, though she didn’t give much more information than the two-line ad had; she asked the usual screening questions, about arrest history, legality of you working in this country, where you were located. You seemed to pass her test, as she promptly gave you an appointment time for a Zoom interview the next day with one Mr. Dawson.

Unfortunately, being stuck at home while it felt like the zombie apocalypse outside meant you had nothing to do but fret over the appointment; what do you wear? Do you need real pants? Were you somehow unqualified for a job where being unqualified was preferred? What exactly does a personal assistant even do? The woman had been vague on the phone when you asked, telling you that you would do whatever your client needed.

You end up thankful you go with the real pants.

Once you settle at the kitchen table, Zoom meeting queued up, there’s a knock at the door. You dutifully put on your mask and answer—your landlord stands there, breathing his germs into your space, maskless.

“Hi sweetheart,” he coos, and you grimace. “Look at you, all dressed up today.”

“What do you want, Todd.”

“Any movement on the rent this month? And the late fee, of course.” You roll your eyes, so he tacks on. “And the maintenance fee. For the sink repair.”

“Oh, you mean the sink that was leaking because of your shitty repair the first time?” You snark, and Todd bares his teeth.

“You know, maybe if you would spend a little time with me, I could waive some of those—” You cut him off immediately, moving to slam the door in his face.

“Fuck you, Todd!” You slam the door, locking it loudly, grumbling to yourself. “Over my dead fucking body you sleazeball.”

You’re mortified when you return to your computer to see your interviewer sitting patiently, having heard your entire ordeal. He’s a man around your age, a dressed in a suit and shirt a bit too large on his lanky frame, but you take him seriously all the same. “Oh my gosh, Mr. Dawson, I’m so sorry—”

“No worries,” he replies quickly with a smile; even through the screen, you can see something flash before his eyes. “If you’re ready, we can get started.” You nod. “Good. And please—call me Nick.” Nick goes through a few pleasantries, some comments about the current state of the world, and one or two normal interview questions before diving in.

“So, as you know, we’re looking for personal assistants. We have a few things we request; one, you would need to quarantine for 14 days before beginning the job, which will be in-person. Two, because of current restrictions, you will be staying on site for the duration of your employment, or until the virus improves.” You must react subtly, as he clarifies. “We’re willing to pay your rent for the time spent here—probably around six months--if necessary.” Your eyes go wide; you were so behind on payments, and to get Todd off your back—

“We ask that you be comfortable to sign an NDA. You would have your own quarters, and all room and board would be provided; anything you need can be brought on site, but you will need to stay in The Bubble. We’ll provide all PPE and anything related to the virus.” He sighs a bit, but continues. “I won’t lie, the hours will be long, but the pay is very good. Well above minimum wage. Personally, I think you are a perfect fit for our group. Do you have any questions for me?”

Your mind is spinning; everything seems to fall into place neatly, every worry you had addressed. You don’t even realize the interview was more of a formality, no questions even really asked of you aside from a few at the start; you blurt out your only question, trying to mask your desperation.

“When can I start?”

Quarantine was nice, honestly. By the time the contract was mailed to you, signed, and mailed back, Nick had already arranged for a stay in a nice hotel in the city, with complimentary room service and a balcony for 14 days of nothing. No outside contact, no work, no gym—you were left to lounge and watch Netflix and just—chill.

That got old quickly, as this was similar to the last few months you had been out of work anyway. But the food was decent and a payment on the apartment went through, Todd not making his weekly text with too many emojis, and so you thought maybe, this could be your new career. Forget startups—if all PA jobs were like this, you would give it up easily. You were organized, thoughtful, flexible—you could do this.

That resolve was quickly broken when you got on location. Nick had never really told you who, or what, you’d be PA’ing for—but now a nondescript mansion sat in front of you, with security and testing and a fountain out front bigger than your living room at home.

Nick stood at the doorway, wearing a clear face shield, and you donned your mask to greet him. He was just as nice in person as in the interview, giving you a quick rundown of what was what; the entire first floor of the mansion was dedicated to office type tasks. Pencil pushers and phone calls and procuring. You figure the owner of this mansion—probably some old billionaire—must want to keep his business close to his chest. Some people wear masks or face shields, but since everyone was routinely testing and not allowed to see anyone outside The Bubble, some chose not to, as it wasn’t strictly necessary.

Nick led you to an office, knocking lightly; when he heard a grunt from the other side, he opened it, leading you in.

“Mr. Thomas?” The man behind the desk—older, hardened, dressed impeccably in a suit which costs more than your rent, barely looks at him. “I have the new PA here.” He glances up, phone still held to his ear, taking a long moment to take you in. His eyes slither over you, and you suppress a shiver, watching as he seems to dislike what he sees.

“She’ll do.” With that, Nick nods, leading you back out of the office and leaving you with more questions than answers.

“Is Mr. Thomas my new boss?” You ask Nick as he continues to show you around.

“No—Mr. Thomas coordinates all the PAs here.”

“How many does one guy need?” Nick stops in his tracks, looking at you. “What?”

“We—we’re not here for ‘one guy.’” You look at him, urging him to continue, and he looks relieved as he finally spills the beans. “You signed the NDA, right? We’re on a movie set. Cliff Beasts 6.” Your eyes go wide; you had heard of the franchise, one of those that sparks more jokes than acclaim, but hadn’t seen any of them. You didn’t even know they were up to six, but you knew they got increasingly more ridiculous as the number went up, and you sputter a bit.

“So—what, they need help with, like, Craft Services or something?” Nick looks uncomfortable, but as the only person who’s said more than three words to you, he’s all you have, and you follow him down the dim hallway.

“No—not exactly.”  He nods his head toward the door you’ve stopped in front of; a golden star emblazons it, with the word “BRAVO” underneath. “You’re the PA for Dieter Bravo.”

You blink at him in shock. Weren’t there rules about false advertising? You didn’t sign up to follow some stuck up actor around all day. But you did need the money, and this was a safe and well-paying gig…

You had heard enough rumors about Dieter Bravo to know this wouldn’t work. His name was a mainstay in tabloids, mostly due to his cocky attitude; he was quick to sleep with, pay off, or ruin anyone who got in his way, in that order. Singers wrote songs about him breaking their hearts, interviewers swooned to his charm before getting mediocre answers to their questions. There were tons of reports over him walking off sets because his water wasn’t at the perfect temperature or there were green M&Ms in the mixed bowl in his dressing room. The guy was, to put it bluntly, a massive douche.

You don’t have time to say anything to Nick before he throws open the door, pushing you inside before walking in behind you. There’s a small sitting room with mirrors and wardrobe set out, and in one of the chairs, sits the man himself, eyes glued to his phone. He’s in a robe and sweats, a sharp contrast to both you and Nick, who are in your best officewear, and has sunglasses at the end of his nose. An earring brings his look into full douchebaggery, and he doesn’t acknowledge the interruption to, what appears to be, him scrolling his Instagram feed.

“Mr. Bravo? It’s Nick—with the PA agency. We have your new assistant.” Bravo doesn’t look up, scrolling through some more videos as Nick clears his throat. When he finally looks up, acknowledging your presence with an appreciating glare, Nick introduces you by name.

“Hi, sweetheart. Why don’t you take off that mask for me and let me see that pretty little face? We’re all safe here,” He croons, a crooked smile on his lips. You can tell he’s never been told “no” in his life.

“I’m not sure that’s true with you around, Mr. Bravo,” you deadpan. Bravo looks like you’ve slapped him across the face, but Nick has a small, knowing grin on his.

“Kitten has claws,” Bravo remarks plainly, looking back to his phone. “Were all the pretty PAs taken, Nate?”

“It’s Nick,” you correct for him, annoyed at the dig. You certainly weren’t move-star-pretty, but it was unbelievably rude of him to point it out, even after just seeing your eyes. “And this kitten has teeth, too. So watch your mouth.” Bravo looks at you, finally putting the phone down to stand and crowd your space. He’s trying to intimidate you, but you don’t back down; he’s hardly a threat in his $600 robe and sweatpants, but he still growls like he might be; you meet him eye-to-eye, his sunglasses pushed up into his unruly hair.

“Good. I like a fight. Makes it that much more satisfying when I win.”

“I don’t know what you think you’re winning, Mr. Bravo, but I can assure you, I never back down from a challenge.” He flashes a smarmy grin, finally looking at Nick again.

“I think I’ll keep this one.”

[asteroshearts]

[Actor!AU] Relationship HCs

[Levi + Eren] 

Levi Ackerman: 

Even though he still has his RBF off-screen he’s a hell of a lot nicer than people think he is. 

Probably asked Eren if he was okay several times before and after the trial scene. 

They used one of your tweets that read, “I want Levi to break my back like a glowstick” during those “____ reads thirst tweets” videos and his face immediately became full-on red when he saw your @. 

I mean, he was blushing before, but when he saw that it was you he jokingly says, “I had no idea they posted this... Why are you like this. If you wanted me to break your back you could’ve just asked me to my face.” 

Great with puppies, kittens, children, and other infantile creatures. If he’s carrying a bouquet during an event or something and a kid comes up to him, he’ll give them a flower. 

“Levi Plays With Puppies While Answering Fan Questions” probably got over a million views in less than half an hour. 

NO ONE DOES BUSINESS CASUAL BETTER THAN HE DOES!! 

People probably take more pictures of you two at the front row seats of fashion shows more than the models themselves. 

Probably has the Rihanna Effect™ where he’ll wear something that looks bad on the OG model on the runway, but once he wears it, it’s suddenly fashionable. 

Speaking of Rihanna he’s probably in a random music video of hers like Mads Mikkelsen in “Bitch Better Have My Money.” 

HE’S STILL AN ACTS OF SERVICE MAN THROUGH AND THROUGH. 

On one hand he does expected “gentleman” things like opening doors for you, closing your car door after you, holding your bags, etc. 

On the other hand he goes to the extreme. 

If he’s not filming something or busy, he’s by your side doing all of the jobs your assistant is supposed to do. 

The directors and cameramen are looking around being like, “Where’s our Important Character Levi” when they need to shoot scenes, but if they find you they’ll just see him following you around, holding an umbrella over your head in one hand and holding your coffee in the other. 

When they first saw it everyone was like...couldn’t you find someone else...that’s not an extremely important cast member to do that... but it’s just Levi, he insists on doing it himself. Your assistant has the easiest job in the world because he elevates all of their jobs for them. 

CAREFULLY HOLDS THE TRAIN OF YOUR DRESS ON RED CARPETS 

When your hair gets tousled or locks fall over your face during filming or photoshoots, the cameramen will point it out, but before any of the hair or makeup people manage to get to you, Levi will just ;; walk over and fix it himself. The two of you probably have the softest smiles at that moment when he’s carefully brushing your hair out of your face. 

Isn’t in a lot of roles. He definitely gets offered a whole bunch of roles!! but especially when you two started dating, he told himself that he didn’t want you guys to crash and burn like many other celebrity couples since they normally spend a lot of time apart and are usually thousands of miles away from each other. When he’s not filming AOT, he tends to take a break from acting and go with you to your jobs. 

However, if he does find himself in a role that he wants to do, he’ll definitely appreciate it if you reciprocate, but doesn’t expect nor force you to. 

Instead he’ll leave your assistant with a long-ass list of how you like your coffee, what you like to eat after a long day of filming, how to approach you when you’re stressed, etc because this man has been doing your assistant’s job the entire time asdfghj 

The only time he’s gently smiling in paparazzi photos is when he’s with you, other than that he looks angry or bored. Like he’ll be at a beautiful beach party with Erwin and Hange but he’s just sitting in the shade with a drink in one hand looking inconvenienced. 

Eren Jaeger: 

OKAY 

There’s this one video of Dylan Sprouse putting his hand on his heart like it’s the national anthem or something when Barbra Palvin walks by on the runway AND THAT’S EXACTLY EREN 

When he sees you walk by either on a modeling gig or on the red carpet this man just stops ,,, and immediately stares and puts his hand on his heart like he’s seen Jesus. 

ALSO does anyone know that one video of the dude tripping over his words when he tries to talk to Jhene Aiko during an interview. 

When you and Eren first met he had to bring Armin as a translator because he was never able to get a straight sentence out in your presence. 

He was legitimately stunned stupid when he saw all of your red carpet looks or interview looks when you two were still new friends during S1 or something. 

follows Ere[Name] ship accounts on twitter and your stan accounts. 

Why do you even have a publicist. He’s your personal hypeman. Sometimes people get confused when they go to his official instagram bc it’s just pictures of you, him promoting your stuff, or really grainy, desaturated pictures of you two doing dumb things together like doing the JOJO Torture Dance together on an empty street at 3AM. These are interspersed with pictures of him when he has to promote something that’s like in his contract. 

When he posts pictures or stories that doesn’t have you in it, the comments are all, “Where’s [Name].” 

When little kids come up to him during panels or out on the street he’ll get jokingly concerned that they’re watching AOT. Like, “Y-You watch the series?? Do your parents know? Is it too scary for you?” 

Tries to make you laugh by pulling funny faces where the camera can’t see him. 

If you mess up on your line, he’ll immediately build on that and goof off with you, resulting in the two of you getting yelled at. 

Quality time is one of his love languages, so like Levi, your managers will work together to make sure your schedules work with each other. 

Sometimes when you have other roles outside of AOT, you might catch him as some regular extra in the background. 

It can’t be helped if sessions go on for too long sometimes, but if it becomes a reoccurring thing due to unorganized sets, he’ll fight with the director and crew to get a break since it’s important for everyone to get some rest. 

If your character is shipped with some character That’s Not Him, the directors know not to show his face during kiss scenes or romantic scenes because he’ll legitimately break character and pout or become so stone faced that he can’t emote at all. 

This Academy Award winning actor will just go 🧍 on the sidelines while you’re trying to kiss Jean for a scene but his stare is burning on the side of your head. 

Eren to Jimmy Fallon or something, “I guess Jean and [Name] are cute but it would be better if it was Ere[Name]. No, no I’m not complaining or anything...” 

GAVE HIS EVERYTHING TO ATTACK ON TITAN JUNIOR HIGH. 

Begged the writers to have more Ere[Name] content in Junior High.

If they let him direct an episode of AOT he will film it like Parks and Rec or The Office.  

[Eren: commits war crimes 

Camera: swerves and zooms in on your face grimacing and Levi’s dead expression while he stares right at the camera.] 

People probably know that they can’t interview him/force him to do lives after shooting because his voice is gone after all that shouting as Eren Jaeger. 

Has a Dan-Emma-Rupert relationship with Mikasa and Armin. He legitimately sees them as siblings even off-set. 

[sharkneto]

7 and 15, and I want you to actually think about 15, really introspect bc you went from nearly nothing to several novels worth in a single year and I'm curious as to what the tipping point was.

(from get to know your author ask game)

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

Unfortunately a bit embarrassed, even though the irl people who know have always been really nice and supportive about it. I think it's the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known because I am proud of what I've written but as soon as I find out an irl friend has read one of my fics I want to curl up and die lmao

15) why did you start writing?

I can't believe you want actual introspection on this that's so cruel. A Full Answer I will give you, though, because you asked for it.

Under a Read More because I got rambly whups --

I do think it was a perfect storm of inspiration, motivation, and time. I've written the equivalent of fic in my head for a decade - my daydreams are really text based, more-so than action/image based as I'll think of the action happening but narrate it as it happens (does that make sense?) I just never actually wrote any of it down, it stayed in my head to replay and play with. In July? August? of 2020 I watched the Umbrella Academy for the first time and was pulled right in, did my usual rewatching and fanfic reading. I think what made this time different, though, is that I had a lot of time on my hands to do my mental "fic"-writing. My job is very manual based so I'm free to think all day. I work by myself because of covid precautions, the only person in my little building, so no other person to talk with or distract me from it. I'd come home to my apartment I live alone in. Rinse and repeat while I just kept stewing on TUA.

The first idea I had where I had the thought of "oh, I could actually write this" was an inspired interview with Allison and then Five, structured like a magazine interview, to explain his return. I was really smitten with that idea, was having a lot of fun thinking about it, and no one else had written anything like it despite me wanting to read it. So, when I got home from work that night, I booted up Word and started doing just that.

And you know what? It was super fun. So I kept poking. I work limited hours because of work-place covid precautions, too, so I also had a lot of time to write. I wrote some more. Started some other little WIPs, started what has become Joining Together. Went on a walk after Thanksgiving to look at Christmas lights, feeling lonely and sorry for myself because I wasn't going to see any family for the holidays, and thought up Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I was so pleased with how that one came out that I did the unthinkable and posted it on AO3 before I could psych myself out - and proceeded to obsess over every single hit it got.

And you all! You all were so goshdarn nice, so goshdarn supportive of my little trial, that I went and wrote another little thing, a companion to the first, and shared that, too (Faithful Friends Who Are Dear To Us). Lo and behold, you all were really nice about that one too. Third times the charm and on a night when I couldn't sleep, I thought about Five being up and drunk and Luther stuck trying to get him to bed, I took some notes, finally found some sleep, and wrote Lonely Drunk when I woke up the next day. And I've been truly hooked on the joy of sharing my silly little writing ever since.

How things got insane, how I got to be a person who wrote almost half a million words in one year, I don't know. I ask myself that, too. Lots of time to be writing is number one. Good friends who motivate me and let me ramble at them with new ideas and snips is number two. An audience who is so supportive and wonderfully vocal to make this more social than just me by myself writing for me (although I am my target audience) is a huuuuge bonus. This is a really rambly way to say - it was fun. I had time to fill, needed a hobby, had had ideas floating around my head - just waiting to be put to paper - for years, and needed a way to connect with people while working and living alone in the middle of a pandemic. And writing fic somehow happened to hit the perfect niche of all of those things. It's all been so unexpected and I've gotten to write things I never dreamed I'd write, find catharsis and so much joy - it's been a wild ride. Can't wait to see where it takes me next.

[ssurveycorpss]

You can delete this if this isn't allowed, but can I request X for all the warriors?

asking for multiple characters is totally fine (as long as you're not requesting full one shots lol) i'll update my rules! also the layout of these is a little different than the others bc this one is just a little fun lol.

i included zeke, reiner, pieck, porco, and colt. i definitely wont write for the four kiddos or marcel but i can write for annie and bertholdt if you request them.

tags: modern au, cigarette/nicotine mention in zeke's, alcohol mention in colt's, emetophobia warning for colts, mention of car accidents in porco's, sfw, not every single one is romantic lol sorry and colts is missing one headcanon bc i only have two for him

hc game

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

zeke jaeger:

pretentious coffee fan. owns like a 300 dollar espresso maker and refuses to drink starbucks. spends like 8 dollars minimum on a latte and lurks on the coffee subreddits. its almost comical how he drinks fancy coffee and only smokes cigarettes and not e cigs... so pretentious...

acts like he has no interest in social media but spends hours trying to pick a lyric from an obscure band for his caption. has like 3 posts, lots of followers, and less following. will post the occasional story with you in it but otherwise not much going on there.

coaches little league baseball despite not liking kids that much because he doesn't really have time for coaching middle or high schoolers. his kids are fucking ruthless they are like monsters on the field and every other team is terrified of them. you know how they don't keep score for kids softball and stuff like that? zeke does anyways and he tells them every time they win. does well with baseball moms bc their kids could go pro no matter what and hes really good looking and suburban moms could use the eye candy.

more under the cut!

reiner braun:

his favorite music genre is bubblegum kpop. porco groans everytime reiner has the aux bc he just plays really preppy cute songs kpop songs about falling in love after school. he doesn't like... stan any of the groups like he doesn't know every detail of their lives but he casually watches their interviews sometimes and knows all the member names of his favorite groups. he has a photocard from an album you gave him, and it sits in his phone case behind a polaroid of you two. also he learns the dances sometimes.

likes watching cartoons sometimes, he wont binge watch an entire season of them but if he has sometimes he'll throw on a cute mindless cartoon just to relax. he usually watches slice of life and romance tv shows in general, stuff without much tension or drama and is just cute.

good cook, terrible baker. if he bakes something it will look awful and taste kind of bad. but his cooking is really good, once you guys got comfortable together instead of going out to eat you opt for him cooking for you two instead.

pieck finger:

likes to buy her clothes second hand. she's a really well dressed girl but she's not concerned with being overly trendy, so she finds that a lot of stores don't really have things she likes. she likes long hemlines and almost everything is cropped these days, so she opts for thrift stores and vintage stores to get things her style. plus she saves a lot of money. she really suits pearl jewelry and has a timeless sense of fashion.

she has a minivan and will drive anyone anywhere, and she rarely asks for gas money. often picks up zeke porco and reiner when they hang out and will always pick you up for dates. her car is ancient but runs like a charm because shes knowledgeable about maintenance, and super fuel efficient.

has a really old phone with no cracks or scratches or anything. doesn't see the point in getting a new one until one day she notices how convenient porco's brand new up to date iphone is and starts saving up for one, but every time she saves up enough a new one comes out.

porco galliard:

plays volleyball, and is on a scholarship for it. jumps really high and is really lithe and quick, making him a good libero (but this is the extent of my volleyball knowledge so i will not make anymore comment. please let me know what position porco plays.)

gets in (non fatal) car accidents surprisingly often, and speeding tickets even more. marcel is tired of it because it is throwing his insurance costs over the roof and forces him to enroll in lessons but they really don't help.

he is the one to pay for the streaming services and has everyone else plus you leech off his account. he complains abt it but texts the gc every time he changes the password so he doesn't really have the right.

colt grice:

on the blacklist for several frats because he went to their block parties, drank too much, and vomited in someones bed, another person's cat's litterbox, a different persons laundry basket, a different different persons moms sweater, and another frats oven. he's really apologetic and always cleans up and reimburses everyone as much as he can, but he is a menace and is only allowed in if he promises not to drink. on that drinking note if you need advice, go out for drinks with colt. he will get incredibly inebriated, give you the best wisdom and advice you've ever heard, and forget everything the next day.

really bad at video games but really fun to play them with. doesnt get on very often, but will play when he has some free time or is asked by his friends. only on weekends and only for like two hours at a time. the video game system at his house doesnt even belong to him its Falcos.

[s-oulpunk]

I LOVE Bill 😭

Sometimes I think about how his stutter totally went away after he left Derry as a kid and then it came back just as bad when he and the Losers returned to Derry, and how the public who knew him for his books and his movies and the interviews he had to do for promotion and stuff would probably be so confused and rude and doubtful about this new/serious/obvious trait when he returns to the 'real-world' after enduring IT and Derry for a second time, and just feel so sad for him 😭 His wife (or ex-wife?) was already on thin ice with him when he left for Derry, imagine how she'd be/react when he returns with a severe stutter that he'll probably claim that he's always had 😭

(sorry, I hope this makes sense! ❤)

AAAAAAAAA ok first of all THANK YOU for this ask bc I will always jump at a chance to talk abt my boy. Second of all WHY would you hurt me in this way. Bc now I’m gonna think abt this nonstop.

Bill going back to speech therapy as an adult bc he hasn’t had to deal with his stutter in so long bc it just…went away..after he left Derry. And now it’s back with a vengeance and, dammit, how is he supposed to go on his next book tour like this? And it makes me SO SAD to think about the general public being an asshole to him about it.

But, honestly, I think the Losers would take some comfort in his stutter. It’s something familiar and something that they love. And, of course, they want him to be comfortable and if he wants to go to speech therapy they would support him. But I don’t think Bill’s stutter would ever be a nuisance to the Losers, even if Bill can’t fathom why they would feel that way.

As for Audra, I guess it would depend on what universe they’re in? Usually I headcanon that they get divorced after Derry but I can’t ever imagine her being the vengeful ex-wife. And maybe that’s just bc I personally love Audra but I like to think they would still be friends after they get divorced. But, honestly, I can see a universe where they manage to work through their issues and stay together. I do think they’re a sweet couple. But I definitely think Bill coming back from his hometown with a severe stutter would probably throw Audra for a loop.

[blossom-hwa]

volleyball players!golcha + a supernatural twist

so casey (@thepixelelf) came up with this brilliant idea (original blurbs here - read them they’re so fun + will help you understand what’s going on in this post) but essentially this is golcha as a volleyball team EXCEPT they all have superpowers

and no this isn’t some saving the world type shit everyone at the school just happens to have some superpower so they’re just trying to navigate the hell that is high school while dealing with powers so CHAOS

anyway please enjoy these brief blurbs and reblog if you did, and again do not forget to check out the original post here because why not it’s FUN

pairing: golden child x gender neutral!reader

wc: 11.7k (total)

genre: fluff, a bit of angst in some parts, volleyball!au, superpowers!au

triggers: cursing

Volleyball!au Masterlist (casey + lina) | Golden Child Masterlist

daeyeol - golden tongue

daeyeol has a golden tongue which basically means he can be very, very persuasive with his spoken words when he wants to

like casey said it comes in handy when he’s arguing with the basketball team for gym time but in 99% of other situations daeyeol tends to... be very awkward and stilted in a way that isn’t characteristic of those with a golden tongue

the boys sometimes tease him about it because a tongue-tied golden tongue? that’s not supposed to exist

but he’s just afraid of accidentally manipulating people even though he really does have a pretty good grasp on his power :/ like sungyoon will try to remind him that but daeyeol’s still wary

on the court though he literally just exudes confidence. like daeyeol is GOOD at volleyball and he knows it

even if his teammates clown him they listen to him when he’s running drills/coaching because daeyeol knows his shit. he’s been playing volleyball for years at this point AND has an older brother who played as well he knows what he’s doing

he’s been playing the longest of all of golcha and it shows in games! he’s one of the best players if not the best

really the other boys do look up to him even if they show it in a roundabout way

(daeyeol complains about the lack of respect all the time but tbh he doesn’t really help his case when he’s soft for every single one of the boys)

side note: he has a bit of a special bond with bomin :) as in bomin clowns the everloving fuck out of him but he also always goes to daeyeol if he’s not feeling good and daeyeol is always there to listen it’s super sweet

(more on that in bomin’s part :D)

does interviews with the school newspaper after games and he’s just so different from normal because volleyball is one of the things besides academics and stuff that he’s confident in

as a side note he got voted most boyfriend material in one of the school newspaper polls because he looks perfect and is the sweetest (have you seen how he gets so soft with the boys in every video online? don’t argue with me) and it made its way into the yearbook

older brother and alumnus sungyeol clowns him every other day for it

daeyeol gets revenge by reenacting sungyeol’s worst volleyball fails and sending them to his friends

has a whole folder on his phone of reenactments at this point

anyway like i said daeyeol is a little awkward in everyday situations so enter you: confrontational + rash with a sharper tongue than is probably necessary and an affinity for changing temperatures

well. more like you can ratchet the temperature up at will. bringing it down is much harder

it’s useful when it’s winter and everyone’s freezing but the temperature also likes to creep higher when you get pissed off which is sometimes not nice when it’s like negative degrees outside and inside it’s like 100

the only way to cool the room when the second thing happens is to calm you the fuck down! or turn on the air conditioner

and the first is easier said than done

it’s not like it’s only unpleasant for other people though bc you’re not immune to the heat and also because you’re the one like. producing the heat?? your skin gets boiling hot to the touch if you’re upset enough and several times people have gotten fucking burns by touching your arm to try and calm you down

usually it’s fine bc you have a good grasp on your power when you’re calm but if someone says something offensive/stupid.... god help them

anyway even though daeyeol doesn’t like to use his power much he’s still one of the people that others go to when situations need defusing because they (mostly) respect him as an older and more mature person (i say mostly because the amount of disrespect he gets from his volleyball team on the daily... yeah let’s just trend #prayfordaeyeol)

and that’s how you meet! you’re yelling at someone for saying something fucking stupid and daeyeol walks in right when you’re threatening to hit said person if they don't shut up rn

daeyeol manages to calm the situation but not before everyone stupid enough to still be in the room is sweating buckets including him

this just... continues

like daeyeol becomes the go to for situations involving you specifically bc you respond better to him for some reason 

and you get to know each other just from daeyeol walking in on you threatening to throw someone out of the window and saying no! nope :) no you’re not throwing anyone out of any window :) come on y/n let’s go :) while subtly dragging you out of the room

the thing is he listens to you. he actually listens to why you got pissed instead of just telling you to control your anger. like he does emphasize the fact that you need to control yourself because what if this happens around people without powers? but he listens and that helps more than anything really and you actually start getting better at controlling yourself 

and somewhere along the way things just click between you two and you become friends. you like him bc he’s v kind if awkward and he’s the only person who’s never tried to calm you using golden tongue manipulation and he likes you bc you’re so outspoken and bold

then one day you get genuinely so upset about something someone said and daeyeol doesn’t care about your blistering hot skin he doesn’t care if you’re raising the temperature in the room he doesn’t even care if he gets burnt he just kisses you on the forehead softly and holds you close even as you’re overheating

which just drains the fight out of you and you kind of collapse on him and stay like that for a while

he then takes you out for cold drinks (because you’re still overheating a little) and kisses you over an iced americano and boom relationship

the other boys find you very fun to be around and marvel over your relationship bc you’re confident and loud meanwhile daeyeol is a bumbling mess when he isn’t using his power or he isn’t on the court

but it works ok it just does. don’t question it

(jangjun does once and even with his super strength he ended up lying on the court bc the element of surprise is the only thing that can really get him)

(and lucky for you you know exactly how to take advantage of that <3)

(daeyeol just thinks it’s hot + impressive and kisses you right after)

(bomin + 99 line gag but you threaten to give them the same treatment and they shut up)

sungyoon - telekinesis

so as casey said sungyoon comes from a long line of telekinetics except he’s not entirely sure why he’s even at this school because... he has never shown any manifestations of this power

not to his knowledge at least

i say this bc people have seen stuff twitch when sungyoon’s around, he just never notices and thus concludes that either people are fucking around with him and it never happened or it was just a coincidence

anyway he doesn’t really care much, like sure he sometimes gets insecure/unsure of himself in a school full of kids with superpowers

but like i said this school is just a safe haven for those born with powers, they’re not training or anything they just learn to control what they have

and since sungyoon doesn’t have much to control he’s doing fine as far as everyone is really concerned

it’s also kind of nice being the only normal one on the volleyball team like everyone else has wack-ass powers that fuck shit up but sungyoon is like the calm in the middle of the storm like hi yes i am also part of this team of idiots but at least i don’t break equipment or injure people inadvertently

for this reason some people think sungyoon is the only sane person on the team 

they are wrong

sungyoon can and will go batshit insane at the first opportunity

he is also a massive tease and if anyone asks him to do anything he’ll make it a back and forth for like 5 minutes before deciding whether or not to actually do it

bomin: sungyoon can you help me get the mats

sungyoon: why

bomin: p l e a s e

repeat for at least five minutes and you now have a regular day to day conversation with sungyoon

but sungyoon really is passionate about volleyball okay, like he loves the sport so much

he used to get worked up about it so much that he’d over-practice and actually play worse :/

got over that with joochan/daeyeol’s help (he and daeyeol weren’t on good terms for a week or two though) and now they’re one happy dysfunctional family :)

if you bring up that time in sungyoon’s life you will be subjected to his death glare so maybe just... don’t

like even jangjun doesn’t talk about it and that’s saying something

anyway moving on 

in terms of powers you’re the opposite of sungyoon. aka you have wack-ass telekinesis and you have no idea how to control it

which?? somehow sungyoon comes in handy with this

because despite not really having powers himself, he watched his sister learn to control her abilities and also listened in on his parents’ advice to her because most of the time controlling powers really just amounts to controlling emotions

aka why sungyoon is (for the most part) so calm and mature

when he’s not purposely being a little shit to golcha of course

but you and sungyoon are kinda... at a loss bc it’s not like you go absolutely off the walls batshit insane?? like you’re a relatively calm person and even though the powers do manifest when you’re feeling a strong emotional upsurge

other than that they’re just... seemingly random???

regardless of that sungyoon makes you start on breathing exercises n shit and you would honestly probably complain if you weren’t sick of your powers manifesting every five fucking seconds. like at this point you’ll try anything

cue long sessions after school in the gym of sungyoon practicing spikes while you sit in the corner controlling your breath to the beat of balls bouncing on the floor

sometimes a few of the other team members join in but more often than not it’s just you and sungyoon

as time passes, in between cleaning scuff marks off the floor and picking up balls that just have flown everywhere, you and sungyoon get closer

and somehow... you don’t know exactly what happened but your powers aren’t so out of wack anymore

sungyoon can’t completely explain it either but like? neither of you is going to complain

you kind of think it might have something to do with how sungyoon is just a calming presence. like when you talk with him and stuff you’re less likely to inadvertently make something move or whatever

it’s not just with sungyoon too - it kind of seems like if you’re focusing intently on something, then the mini episodes don’t happen

sungyoon hypothesizes you might be a little like youngtaek as in you need something to concentrate on because if you zone out shit happens

you maybe zone out less than he does but maybe it’s a more subtle thing with you than with him who knows

anyway

one day you two go to get coffee after leaving the gym together and sungyoon looks weirdly nervous and you ask if something’s up while praying you don’t send all the sugar packets flying everywhere 

and then when you leave with your coffee he asks you out

like really. he asks you out. you can’t believe it

so the lid flies off your coffee cup and liquid splashes everywhere

now you have burns all over your hands from hot coffee and sungyoon is freaking the fuck out and luckily donghyun was just leaving school so he gets called over to take care of your burns

anyway after that sungyoon is still a flustered mess and you’re trying to tell him you’re fine, look all the redness is gone and also yeah sorry about that i’d love to go on a date with you

CUE SUNGYOON’S COFFEE CUP FLYING OUT OF HIS HANDS AND SPLATTERING ALL OVER THE GROUND

you swear it wasn’t you and sungyoon KNOWS he didn’t just drop it so the only conclusion left is that sungyoon did it

oh my god he actually has telekinesis!

(the rest of golcha: yeah let’s just pretend we HAVEN’T been saying this for literal years)

anyway let’s just say that between sungyoon confessing + figuring out he actually has telekinesis powers it was a very eventful day

golcha loves you but is also wary of whenever you’re around bc sungyoon tends to get v nervous and maybe the net starts lifting out of the ground if you surprise him with a kiss

but it’s fine! you’ve learned all of the techniques sungyoon taught you, now it’s just time for him to get a taste of that too :)

and sungyoon would probably bitch and moan if it was with any other person but it’s more time to spend with you so is he really gonna complain? 

no <3

jangjun - super strength

ah yes. resident ‘i’m doing my best to control my powers but sometimes i get too excited and whoops now there’s a hole in the gym floor’

once again credits to casey for that idea (she actually wrote a drabble for it which you can find here)

he’s gotten better at controlling his powers but uh sometimes excitement gets the better of him all right

look he’s trying!! ok!! he really is

especially when it comes to volleyball - he’s really serious, does his absolute best not to cause any damage to the gym because one time he cracked the wood floors and let’s just say admin was not happy

worst day of jangjun’s life trying to explain that shit to the principal

so yeah he’s doing a lot better now with controlling his power

but at the same time let’s not ignore half the reason why there are far fewer accidents than before - you

you and jangjun meet like halfway through your first year of school during gym class when jangjun hits a ball a little (a lot) too hard and it ends up knocking you the fuck out

a healed concussion + a million apologies later, you and jangjun are laughing your heads off in the clinic with the nurse screwing her eyes up in confusion like?? this boy just smashed a volleyball into your head and now you’re laughing with him wtf

but jangjun’s so funny and friendly that it’s hard not to become his friend so after that you two are essentially inseparable

so when jangjun decides to play for the volleyball team you sign up to be team manager

(you also help him practice and do you best to keep his power in check)

which works out! because you’re responsible and organized but most importantly you have power over air

and given enough warning (which, as you gain more experience, doesn’t have to be a lot), you can manipulate the air to stop some of jangjun’s more aggressive serves from hitting the ground too fast and causing major damage to the newly-renovated floors

daeyeol + the coach thank every higher being for your existence at each practice

youngtaek + joochan started a cult in your name after you saved both of them from one of jangjun’s spikes hitting them in the head

yeah let’s just say golcha is v thankful jangjun gave you that concussion back in first year

ANYWAY

one day you’re picking up some volleyballs that are lying around while the boys play a practice match in the middle of the gym

and because your back is to the fucking court. you don’t get any warning except a few sharp screams before a ball just motherfucking smashes against the back of your head and knocks you the fuck out for the second time in your life

you come to on the ground with donghyun passing his hands over your throbbing head

and the first thing you do when the pain is gone is look up and ask where jangjun is

half the team has disappeared from the gym but donghyun tells you he had a major mental breakdown when he saw you unconscious on the floor and just ran out. the others are already trying to find him but you don’t care you just run out to try and find wherever the fuck your best friend is

you find him crouched in the corner of a stairwell with his head in his hands and you’re like jangjun what’s wrong oh my god are you okay?

and he just looks up like oh my god you’re okay. you’re okay right?

you nod like yeah?? donghyun worked his magic of course i’m fine now but what’s up with you? were you crying?

he just clams up then which obviously confirms your suspicions and you’re like dude... why were you crying. i’m really fine

and then he explodes like - i fucking hate my power sometimes i hate that i can’t control it i hate that i accidentally break people or hurt people when i don’t mean to and it’s even worse when it’s people I care about like fuck y/n why can’t i just have a power that doesn’t cause all this stupid shit - 

so you just lash out with a gust of wind and shake the railing on the stairwell

jangjun’s like why did you do that

and you say every power has a destructive side. i can hurt people on accident. if i got really riled up i could slam someone against a wall and knock them out the same way you did with me. it’s happened before

jangjun flinches but you just step closer like jangjun. you’re doing fine. your power is cool as fuck. i admire the control you have over it and no don’t argue, i’ve watched you over the past few years and do you know how much you’ve improved?

it ends up with you hugging jangjun and despite all his muscle he just collapses like a rag doll in your arms and on impulse you kiss his forehead like it’s ok, i’m fine, you’re fine. we’re all fine

and that little impulse kiss changes everything. even though neither of you really says anything explicit at first, something shifts between you and even though jangjun was touchy before, now you hold hands between classes and hug before practice and golcha is just like... /eyes emoji/

jangjun brings it up one weekend when you two are trying (key word: trying) to study and you just kind of shrug and ask what do you really want to be? labels or nah? bc honestly you’re happy as long as he’s around

which makes jangjun’s heart flutter and maybe the pen in his hand explodes all over his notes (not like they were legible anyway, you just promise to lend him yours) and voila! you’re dating

it’s super cute but also super loud

like jangjun will yell across the court like HEY WATCH ME ROLL AROUND ON THIS VOLLEYBALL Y/N (or whatever the fuck he was doing in the breathe mv behind) and you yell back like FUCK IT U P JANGJUN!!! 

coach maybe praises your existence a little less now but daeyeol just reminds him that you’ve saved every member on this team + him at least once by now and the cult revives

as your bf jangjun strong-arms (literally) youngtaek/joochan out of the way as the head of the cult now

you two are very supportive and very loud in your support

you’re essentially each other’s professional hype-people and like to celebrate with kisses while everyone else gags

it’s disgustingly cute

someone always yells something about pda and then jangjun just kisses you harder

cue the boys screaming and you laughing and an unamused (he’s amused he’s just trying not to show it) daeyeol

coach is the only one who’s really unamused but at some point he just gives up because jangstar does what he wants as long as you’re fine with it

/shrugging emoji/

youngtaek - pyrokinesis

youngtaek has power over fire but it’s not really so much that he can control fire and more like he just... zones out and oops his notes are burning

it’s usually best to keep him and daeyeol’s s/o in separate rooms because fire + ratcheting up the temperature does not equal a good time

like casey said when he’s focused it’s all cool and he has a decent measure of control over his power but when his eyes go dazed and he’s staring into the distance then you better pray the room has a bucket of water or a fire extinguisher nearby

it isn’t usually a problem because this is a school for kids with powers and youngtaek isn’t the only pyrokinetic here but it is a hassle when sometimes youngtaek zones out on the court and hits the ball and suddenly jangjun’s screaming because he got hit by a volleyball on fire and now his uniform is on fire and everything is on fire

oops

but anyway with anything that isn’t a) volleyball or b) music youngtaek has less than half the attention span of a goldfish which means he may or may not be lagging behind in several classes

and it isn’t enough for him to be in danger of failing just yet but his teachers are like youngtaek i think you might need a tutor if you want to do more than just pass the final

he also needs better grades if he wants to keep playing volleyball so he decides to find a tutor

so he asks daeyeol about it bc despite his dyslexia daeyeol is a pretty good student but he’s busy as an upperclassman and all so he refers youngtaek to you!

you have the power to memorize anything you put your mind to. like if you really wanted to you could memorize an entire map of the city or its skyline but you just don't care enough to do that

only things you care about are school + your hobbies + your friends/family

anyway you meet up with youngtaek and from the start it’s kind of a mess because he zones out in the middle of you teaching him math and somehow sets the table on fire

after that you make sure to keep a bottle of water nearby (it comes in handy several times)

but despite the slightly disastrous first meeting you take a liking to youngtaek because beyond everything he’s genuine and honest and just a really good person regardless of the fact that he’s a little fire-happy

so tutoring sessions start ending with walking each other to the bus stop or getting a drink together or whatever and it’s really nice and sweet, youngtaek’s happy to be doing better in his classes bc you’re so patient and a really good teacher 

and one day he blurts out that when he heard about your power he wasn’t sure you’d be a good teacher because everything seems to come easily to you

then he covers his mouth because holy hell he wasn’t supposed to say that youngtaek come ON

you calmly put out the little fire on the side of the desk before telling him it’s fine, you get that a lot but really being able to memorize things isn’t as helpful as people seem to think

like sure you can memorize the fact that 2+2=4 but if you don’t understand addition as a concept then you won’t be able to do 5+5=10 or something like that

and you can’t exactly just memorize concepts. so with memorization comes a lot of hard work in trying to understand it all

and from this little conversation youngtaek comes out with so much more respect for you?? like god damn he now sees just how hard you work for everything you care about and youngtaek likes that. he likes it a lot

so yeah both of you have budding feelings at this point but because i'm the author i get to say you’re idiots in love so you don’t say shit

until after finals you and youngtaek go to a party daeyeol’s hosting and you both get tipsy-drunk-ish and by the end of the night youngtaek’s face is buried in your shoulder and before he passes out fully he mumbles that he likes you so much it doesn’t make sense

and you’re drunk too so all you do is kiss his forehead and fall asleep

unluckily for you a mostly sober kim donghyun got a video of all that so when you both wake up a couple hours later it’s to several still-awake members of the volleyball team + your friends all up in your faces like oh my god they’re in LOVE

youngtaek wakes up with all the noise and just blinks sleepily and you kinda pat his head and tell him to go back to sleep while giving everyone else death glares like SHUT THE FUCK UP SO HE CAN SLEEP

but you don’t know about the video >:)

so one of the sober boys ends up bringing you two home and when you wake up the next morning donghyun has added you both to a group chat and sent the video there

you scream into your pillow

youngtaek screams into his pillow

and you both proceed to do absolutely nothing about it until joochan locks the two of you in one of the music rooms and slides a copy of the song youngtaek wrote about you under the door 

you get to the paper before youngtaek can burn it and it’s messy it’s awkward it’s hilarious but you two end up together by the end of the day so it worked... kinda?

your presence helps youngtaek a lot by giving him something more to focus on throughout the day and subsequently not set everything on fire

though mind reader bomin complains because he used to zero in on youngtaek’s mind when things got too much since quote unquote ‘there’s not much going on up there’ (credits to casey + fact in star) but now if youngtaek’s brain isn’t playing the music from the mii channel it’s thinking about you which isn’t ideal

youngtaek may or may not have attacked bomin after that

you may or may not have had to pull him away when bomin’s shirt started smoking

but it’s cool the smoking goes away when you kiss his forehead and youngtaek just beams like the entire sun

seungmin - foresight

like casey said seungmin has foresight and it’s anything but useful

he’ll either get glimpses of dumb unimportant shit like haha the day’s lunch includes rice or visions of stuff he can’t avoid like hey youngtaek’s going to trip on air oh oops he just did aaand now his shirt is on fire

honestly if he was going to have foresight he could at least like?? predict stocks or some shit?? why the fuck does it MATTER if youngtaek’s about to fall if seungmin can’t even help him

not like he’d help even if he could because seungmin isn’t an angel and youngtaek falling is funny but still it’s the principle of the goddamn matter

sometimes he gets glimpses of whether or not golcha will win their volleyball matches but like casey said he doesn’t say anything because he doesn’t want to ruin the team spirit before the game’s even over

plus who said the future was fixed in stone? like none of seungmin’s momentary glimpses have been wrong yet but there’s always a chance... right?

seungmin isn’t going to discount that possibility yet at least

but he didn’t always think that way - you’re actually the one who opened him up to that point of view

you’re an ordinary person with no powers or anything but you work part-time at the juice bar across the street from his school and sometimes golcha will go there after practice to get something to drink

and you have a special soft spot for seungmin because he’s the first of the group who started frequenting the shop

and on that first ever visit he helped catch you when you slipped bringing a tray of drinks to a few people sitting in the corner

even though you both ended up on the floor covered in juice he still managed to break your fall enough that none of the glasses broke and while giving him his drink you kind of joked that it was like he knew what was going to happen before it did

which... is not exactly false

seungmin was waiting for his drink when he got a little glimpse of you falling and him helping catch you but then it all happened before he could even process the vision so like yeah he did see it but not soon enough to prevent anything

like usual

anyway you promise seungmin a free drink the next time he comes in when you’re on shift and so he does come in though he insists you don’t have to give him his drink for free

you just say well buy me a drink then. two for one

(listen he’s cute and he broke your fall and he seems polite. who’s gonna sue you for being a little flirty)

and so a beautiful relationship is born :)

seungmin really likes you a lot like so much?? he used to laugh at youngtaek for being so whipped for his partner but now he thinks he kind of understands it

the one thing to worry about is the fact that you don’t have powers and he does but it’s not that big of an issue really. like foresight is one of the abilities that doesn’t really manifest itself physically beyond maybe having a bit of reaction time? but considering his foresight is literally useless even that’s debatable

well actually there’s another thing to worry about: the boys finding out he has an s/o and teasing him to high hell

which they do while also demanding free drinks as seungmin’s friends

on days when you’re feeling nice you’ll do it but money always appears in the tip jar that pays for the free drinks

(it’s daeyeol. he feels bad)

anyway you don’t know about the foresight/powers thing until daeyeol calls you one night to pick seungmin up from a party one night and on the way home he stops you from almost getting run into by a speeding car

WHILE TIPSY/DRUNK

once you’ve recovered you ask him how he reacted so fast and he just kind of tipsily smiles and says ‘i saw it was going to happen’

you don’t ask him anything then because he’s drunk and sleepy so you just drive him home but the entire time you’re thinking about all the little things that have just... seemed questionable during the time you’ve known seungmin

and it’s weird as fuck but at the same time you can’t figure out any other explanation? because once is normal, twice could be a coincidence, but upwards of ten incidents is not right

it feels like you’re bella confronting edward about being a stupid vampire (no i never read twilight and i'm not sorry about it) but a couple of weeks later you ask him

he doesn’t actually remember the drive back home that night because he was kind of too wasted but he definitely does remember the other incidents including when you two met skdjghs

he spills after a few minutes of awkward silence and begs you not to tell which of course you promise to because why the fuck would you not? if the truth got leaked that would be disastrous and it’s not like you’re scared or anything, seungmin’s (mostly) harmless even if some of the other abilities like youngtaek + fire or jangjun + strength give you pause

but you get to talking about his power of foresight and seungmin kind of shrugs at one point while saying that he doesn’t know why he gets glimpses, it’s all inevitable anyway so what’s the point

and you just say maybe it isn’t that way. maybe he’s seeing one future possibility, maybe even the most likely one, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only one set in stone right?

seungmin loves you a lot for that. like so much. it’s a new perspective and it gives him more hope than he used to have and you just KNOW the conversation ends in kisses and cuddles

because while he’s not going to actively try and prevent what’s about to happen if it’s bad (like he can’t exactly influence the outcome of a volleyball match beyond just doing his best - plus, his foresight doesn’t give him enough time to really react to most things), it gives him some hope that even if his foresight says something will turn out bad, there’s a chance it might turn out well :)

anyway seungmin pocket boy you two fit right into each other when you hug which results in the other boys cooing but seungmin’s strong even if he’s small so they get a few new bruises that donghyun just refuses to heal

we love evil donghyun

you also go to their volleyball matches and seungmin trusts you enough to tell you what glimpses he got of the game but you always remind him the future may not be set in stone and regardless of what he sees you always cheer him on just as loudly

all the boys come piling into the juice bar after games and you smile and give seungmin a free drink while everyone else has to pay

they decry favoritism but you just shrug and kiss seungmin over the counter while they scream

dramatic assholes

jaehyun - gravity manipulation

so like casey said jaehyun can manipulate the gravity of objects, either send them floating up in the air or slamming down on the round

which sucks if the object in question is a volleyball and it comes pounding down on his toes when he isn’t paying attention

this happened at the first ever volleyball practice he attended and the boys (read: jibeom) have yet to let it fucking go

his husky voice doesn’t help because when he complains jibeom the boys just imitate his voice which derails the entire practice and now coach + daeyeol + team manager who’s jangjun’s s/o are all lying facedown on the ground like when will this madness end

never. the answer is never

but it’s ok jaehyun gets his revenge when they’re all practicing and he sends jibeom’s ball flying up into the air and refuses to let it come down and when he does the ball drops right on jibeom’s head and whoops look who’s got a concussion hey donghyun can you fix this

jaehyun is also one of the few occasional lifesavers (literally) besides team manager + donghyun because given enough warning, he can manipulate the gravity on one of jangjun’s maybe too strong serves and make it come down more softly than it would’ve otherwise

the problem is he isn’t super adept with his power

more experienced students will be able to manipulate gravity very subtly, but jaehyun more or less has three settings - floating, slamming down, and very occasionally something in between

which isn’t exactly ideal but jaehyun’s working on it, it’s fine, he’s not too pressed about it

anyway you’re a student at the school for students with superpowers in the next city over and you play basketball

you don’t know jaehyun but he sure as hell knows you because even though he stopped playing basketball a few years ago to focus on volleyball, he still loves the sport and he happens to think you’re one of the best players he’s ever see

also you’re really cute

jaehyun goes to every single basketball game that’s against your school just to watch you play 

he doesn’t really do much other than watch because a) he’s so focused on your performance that he doesn’t register much else and b) everyone would clown him for cheering your team on skdjgskjg

also jaehyun’s just shy. like really shy you couldn’t catch him approaching you/showing interest towards you unless someone forced it out of him

which is what his lovely friends from 99 line decide to do

they obviously know about his crush like joochan was with him the first time jaehyun went to watch a basketball game against your school so he SAW the heart eyes

he took a picture and sent it to jibeom who sent it to donghyun and now it’s the profile picture for their group chat dedicated to making sure jaehyun asks you out

jaehyun has no knowledge of this group chat because he’s oblivious

anyway one day after a game they’re in the parking lot bc jaehyun’s driving this time and jaehyun is babbling about oh my god y/n was so great this time they’re literally so good at basketball holy shit?? and while he’s talking he doesn’t notice jibeom/joochan/donghyun like. subtly pushing him closer and closer to your team who’s just waiting around the bus you’ll take to get back to your school

and only when you look up does jaehyun realize he’s now close enough for you to have heard literally everything he just said in the past minute or so 

cue the awkward crow noises as you and jaehyun just stare at each other

suddenly the backpack in jaehyun’s hand just drops onto his foot and if it weren’t for the steel-toed sneakers he’s gotten in the habit of wearing then he’d probably have a broken foot

as such he kind of lets out a quiet dying screech (it HURTS) and now jibeom/donghyun/joochan are dying like three feet away meanwhile your friends are screaming into their hands like Y/N IT’S A CUTE BOY YOU LIKE CUTE BOYS TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY YOU IDIOT

and when nothing happens for five seconds beyond jaehyun’s ears turning tomato red joochan steps forward and is like hello my friend here is whipped for you so if you’re comfortable would you please give him your number because he’s been dying for it since like. last year when we saw you play for the first time

jaehyun nearly launches himself at joochan like SHUT UP DUDE but then you’re handing over your phone while looking away because fuck jaehyun’s really cute and you wouldn’t mind getting to know him okay??

(who wouldn’t though that’s the real question)

anyway the two cities aren’t too big so it’s not that hard for you and jaehyun to meet up for coffee at some point (which jaehyun surprisingly gets the courage to initiate - he reasons it as he’s the one who was interested first so he kind of has to be the one to do it but that doesn’t mean he’s screaming throughout the entire text conversation) and after a semi-awkward first interaction you two surprisingly hit it off and after a few weeks you’re dating

you’re the ultimate athletic couple like jaehyun does volleyball and you do basketball and sometimes you play each other in the park or jaehyun starts teaching you how to play volleyball and it’s really cute

over the summer your friend group + golcha goes to the beach to hang out and jaehyun sees firsthand how much you’ve improved at volleyball 

i didn’t mention it earlier but your power is water manipulation which not only comes in handy with putting out youngtaek’s inadvertent flames but also is very useful in splashing your friends + golcha all at once at the beach when no one else is looking

of course everyone just piles on you and sends you flailing into the ocean and maybe you choke on seawater because you’re laughing so hard but jaehyun pulls you out and your first kiss tastes like salty ocean and even with the rest of your friends + golcha screaming it’s perfect 

water manipulation also helps when they dump you both into the ocean and you just kinda make a bubble where it’s deep enough and kiss jaehyun there (yeah pjo the last olympian vibes deal with it)

daeyeol gets worried when you don’t come up and then you surface a second later in his face and he screams it’s glorious

you use your power to strip away your sweat after basketball practice and jaehyun begs you to do it for him too after volleyball practice when you’re there which of course you do because you’re a nice s/o

when he gets a little better at the subtleties of his power jaehyun likes to lift you up using his gravity manipulation and spin you around it’s really cute

you show up to jaehyun’s volleyball games against your school to cheer him on despite the fact that one of your friends is on your school’s volleyball team skdjgshkd (and maybe jaehyun accidentally drops the volleyball HARD on his foot the first time you scream his name)

jaehyun starts doing the same when it comes to your basketball games he is no longer shy about screaming your name from his school’s side of the bleachers :)

his friends call him a traitor but jaehyun doesn’t really care because he’s the one who gets to kiss you after your games so who’s the real winner here?

him obviously

jibeom - invisibility

casey i think this blurb was my favorite, it’s so fucking funny and literally so jibeom

so like casey said jibeom can turn invisible which is really fun for him and a nightmare for everyone else because he’ll just sneak up on people and be like BOO

if you have a weak heart you better stay vigilant

but there are also issues because like casey came up with sometimes jibeom accidentally turns invisible during a fucking game and gets confused as to why no one’s serving to him until one of his teammates or the coach on the sidelines notices he’s gone and is like JIBEOM YOU’RE FUCKING INVISIBLE

it’s fine the school only ever plays sports against other supernatural schools to avoid spreading the secret about superpowers to regular humans so people are used to this kind of shit but it’s embarrassing for jibeom skdjgshjg

he’ll try to put his ability to his advantage by turning invisible when he’s supposed to be running laps/doing drills and hoping daeyeol/coach/team manager don’t notice

at this point though they always do and then it’s another five laps/set of drills for him

big sad

anyway jibeom’s just living his invisible life you know being a little shit with everyone

mocking jaehyun’s voice and turning invisible when jaehyun tries to swipe at him

sneaking up behind his friends and scaring them even if it means he gets decked in the face (that’s one thing he won’t repeat with jangjun. like the dude doesn’t get scared easily but if he gets startled... the super strength is not a blessing for jibeom if he doesn’t move fast enough)

and then you transfer to the school

so you used to go to the school jaehyun’s parter goes to but your family moved or smth so now you’re here and jaehyun’s the only person you even vaguely know so you kinda stick around and become friends

and of course jaehyun introduces you to the rest of golcha

now jibeom is in the gym. invisible okay. waiting for jaehyun to show up so he can do his daily scare-jaehyun-because-i’m-a-little-shit routine

then you walk into the gym with jaehyun and the first thing you fucking say is there are thirteen people in this room (10 golcha members + you + team manager + coach) but i only see twelve so who’s the invisible one walking up right behind jaehyun

jaehyun fucking screams, a whole crate of volleyballs goes tumbling to the floor because gravity manipulation + jaehyun getting scared go hand in hand, everything is in chaos, youngtaek+joochan+jangjun are crying of laughter at jaehyun’s reaction, and jibeom is now standing visible behind jaehyun wide-eyed and surprised because how the fuck did you know

turns out your power is being able to sense/locate invisible things including invisible jibeoms so the rest of golcha + manager + coach think you’re a lifesaver because finally someone can find jibeom whenever he disappears

wrong

like yeah if jibeom has disappeared in the middle of practice you’ll yell and be like KIM JIBEOM GET YOUR ASS OUT AND PRACTICE YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT 

is it a surprise that you and daeyeol’s partner hit it off in less than five seconds

but if jibeom’s disappearing just to be a little shit you’ll purposely point people in the wrong direction like you’ll reassure youngtaek that oh no jibeom’s over there trying to scare seungmin and then jibeom appears right behind youngtaek and now both of you are cackling on the floor and youngtaek is about to set your backpacks on fire

you may have joined the school late but now you are an honorary 99 line member regardless of what year you were actually born in i don’t care they don’t care they’re just happy to have another ball of chaos to join their ranks

coach considers banning you from the gym but daeyeol reminds him that if he wants to ban you he’ll have to ban everyone else who comes in to visit and cause chaos aka his partner and you know daeyeol needs his hugs before practice so that isn’t going to happen

so you get to stay

most of the time it’s fine like you just sit in the bleachers and do homework while occasionally yelling at jibeom or other slackers, it’s only really during breaks that you act up

so anyway even though you’re an honorary 99 line member you spend most of your time with jibeom pulling dumb tricks or being unintentionally funny as fuck

therefore it is only logical that the rest of 99 line starts pushing you two together

fucking meddling brats

they do all the normal stupid shit like announcing outings to malls and ditching you two alone, deciding to go to the movies and ditching you two alone, you see the idea

look they’ve got pea brains they can’t come up with much

but get this: you and jibeom are already dating

yeah. you both started fucking dating a few months after meeting because you were both having a late night study session at your house and your tongues were loose with exhaustion and you may or may not have said some stuff you weren’t planning to

you almost kissed but then you were like it’s almost midnight and we haven’t brushed our teeth so maybe not tonight

it’s fine jibeom got a kiss the next day (the whole day he acted like he wasn’t waiting for it at all and you teased him for that before finally leaning in)

you haven’t kept your relationship secret out of shame or embarrassment or anything you both just kinda want to see how far 99 line + rest of golcha will go to get you two together. plus it’s nice when they buy you movie theater tickets when they just plan to ditch so you don’t have to pay for the date you end up having

it’s really fucking funny the more frustrated they get so you and jibeom don’t let up until daeyeol catches you two kissing just outside the locker room after you thought everyone left (NOTHING FUCKING NASTY OKAY THIS IS A SFW PLACE AND BEYOND THAT - NO ONE HERE IS GOING TO DO A N Y T H I NG OUTSIDE A L O C K E R R O O M)

shit goes down in the volleyball group chat that night but you and jibeom are just sitting together on his couch laughing at everything

99 line definitely holds a grudge

daeyeol won’t shut up about how he needs to clean his eyes out with bleach (as if he doesn’t want to kiss his partner every five seconds jfc)

coach just despairs over the chaos you two bring

but you and jibeom don’t care :) 

side note you know what’d be fun - if you don’t have the slightest fashion sense like jibeom and you two become known for wearing stripes + whatever your favorite design happens to be all the damn time

idk i just think it’d be funny to watch everyone trying to clown you but literally neither of you giving a shit

donghyun - healing

so like casey said donghyun has healing abilities

and first and foremost he would like to say he’s tired of healing the injuries these idiots get every practice

i mean he’s not going to refuse treatment for like a jammed finger or a sprained ankle because that’s normal in volleyball or even burns from youngtaek/joochan because that’s just accidentally losing control which could happen to anyone but like??? falling over because you tried to prank jangjun and he basically backhanded you out of surprise??? that’s on you jibeom

kidding kidding donghyun will heal whatever’s been set on golcha but he WILL complain about it the whole time

that’s his right ok if he has to deal with this bunch of idiots (who also don’t fucking clean up after themselves) he’s going to complain about it with his whole chest

which is not a very broad chest but donghyun can talk a Long time so that more than makes up for it

gets teased by all the other team members but they’re really grateful for him not just because of his healing abilities + affinity for cleaning but also because he really does care for them

and as much as he complains he’ll do as much healing as needed, even if it drains his energy

but there are two major cons of his abilities

1. using his power too much (like all other powers) drains him of energy, so if he heals one too many injuries at a time then he’s in danger of also passing out

it isn’t usually a problem because it’s not like golcha gets injured every five seconds but some practices are more accident prone than others

once joochan fell and broke his leg and donghyun passed out trying to heal it and ended up in the hospital too. not fun

2. he can’t use his power on himself. like if sungyoon fractures his finger donghyun can fix that no big deal but he can’t do the same to himself healing just doesn’t work that way

it is for this reason that each sports team has a designated healer who isn’t a member of the team - of course if the team has a member who is a healer that’s useful, but they need to keep their energy up + they can’t heal themselves which is a problem

anyway the last healer for the volleyball team graduated last year so you come in to take their place

you’re super nice to golcha like you heal their injuries whenever anything happens no matter how stupid it was and they start making jokes about how you’re more helpful than donghyun haha because you don’t complain/nag about everything

and like donghyun knows they’re teasing but at the same time... it kinda hurts

what makes it worse is that you’re nothing but nice to him as well? like it’d be so much easier to dislike you if you were rude

so donghyun just kinda... avoids you and doesn’t say anything about it to anyone. does his absolute best to avoid getting injured so he doesn’t have to be around you any more than necessary

and several times you try to make conversation but he just brushes you away which leaves you confused and makes donghyun feel worse but he really doesn’t know what else to do

then one bad day he jumps up but misses the ball and falls on his leg hard. like really hard and there’s pain shooting up his side but he can’t feel a break or anything so he just gets up and tries to keep playing, like practice ends in five minutes anyway he may as well continue 

but you call out and say to stop practice, donghyun’s hurt 

except donghyun has had a really bad day and this is just the icing on the cake so he may or may not yell at you to go away, he’s fucking fine, and when you keep pressing he just grabs his stuff and leaves

the second he gets home he collapses on the floor and just... stays there because yeah he may not have broken anything but his leg hurts like a bitch and then he starts crying

skips school the next day because he feels like absolute shit (mentally and physically) but 99 line comes to visit and they’re like so. explain what happened yesterday at practice

and donghyun is ready to get defensive but they’re more confused than anything, his outburst wasn’t like him at all and why would he yell at you? you never did anything wrong

that’s when donghyun breaks down and tells them everything about how he’s felt over the past few months with you as the new healer

it ends in a big cuddle session between four idiots and apologies and donghyun promises to apologize to you tomorrow 

which he does. and surprisingly you’re really gracious about it, it makes donghyun feel worse yet again because you’re so genuine and nice and you even offer to heal his leg again because it looks like it still hurts

the teasing decreases and donghyun feels much better, he also stops brushing you off and actually begins hanging out with you a little outside of school/practice

and while working late on a group project for history (your other group mates ditched you two and donghyun is still seething over it) he realizes that this has evolved into a stupid crush

said crush is only compounded when you tell the teacher half of your group did absolutely nothing without donghyun having to say anything

but of course since donghyun 1. is an idiot and 2. pretended to hate you for several long months he doesn’t say anything

until you fucking ask him to the end of the year dance. you ask him to the dance and donghyun thinks joochan has given him electric shock because his brain definitely has to be malfunctioning

after five solid seconds of short-circuiting he nods like an idiot and haha you’re going to the dance together

golcha boys won’t shut the fuck up about how cute it is or whatever 

donghyun blushes red while you just smile serenely and promise not to heal their injuries for the next week so they better avoid getting hurt

yeah donghyun is definitely in love with you

you’re probably a more low-key couple, you enjoy study dates or quiet activities more than like. amusement parks or whatever kind of shit joochan/jangjun subject their partners to

you might kiss in public if the moment feels right but more often than not the only real pda you show is holding hands which makes golcha coo

donghyun would rather hug you sweetly in private without worrying about his teammates trying to ruin the moment anyway

you agree but then proceed to kiss his nose in front of everyone and whoops he’s a blushing mess and golcha (+ the coach) are screaming

sigh

joochan - electricity

ah yes, the ultimate question: which hurts more, electric burns or fire burns?

join the golden child volleyball team and you can experience both firsthand!

jk (not really) but between joochan and youngtaek, golcha kinda has their pick of what kinds of burns to get (other than like. rope burn or burns from sliding on the ground idk)

like casey said it’s v lucky donghyun/his partner are around to heal them because really trying to slap a volleyball with a burnt hand is not fun

most of the time though joochan’s fine, he’s just full of energy and gets staticky when excited and like casey came up with the boys will sometimes dare each other to touch his hair when it’s sticking straight up and get shocked

or if you’re a bitch like jangjun you’ll take someone’s hand and purposely place it there so they get shocked

(jangjun’s also stupid though so he gets shocked by proxy if joochan’s staticky enough)

(i mean at least it makes everyone laugh???)

(yes this was inspired by that one video where he and bomin (i think) are playing with the lie detector (or was it the jangstar episode with daeyeol?? i can’t remember) and he put his hand over bomin’s/daeyeol’s and got wrecked too)

jesus christ this is supposed to be about joochan not jangjun let’s get back on track

anyway when joochan gets worked up either out of excitement or a more negative emotion the one thing that never fails to calm him down is music

he can play several instruments and sings very well 

so if it’s been a bad day or he’s feeling anxious, he’ll either go to the school music rooms of his own accord or daeyeol will notice and send him there to calm down a little before practice

which is where he finds you!

joochan’s playing the piano one day, singing n stuff and completely oblivious to you sleeping under the goddamn piano

how did you end up there? you were waiting for a friend/sibling (whichever one you choose) to finish up some after school activity so you could walk home together and you were sleepy and under the piano seemed like a decent place to nap so you set an alarm and passed out

look high school is draining so if you’re not making the best decisions by the end of the day who can blame you

and the piano is a real grand (let’s pretend the school has money shall we) so unless joochan was really looking (which he wasn’t), he wouldn’t have noticed you at the back

joochan’s there for a couple hours playing peacefully

AND THEN YOUR ALARM FUCKING RINGS 

joochan screams and falls off the stool

you shoot up and hit your head on the bottom of the piano

for a moment you two just groan in pain and then you look at each other and are like. what the fuck

and then it’s your turn to scream

anyway you both stop screaming eventually (miraculously no one comes in) and you try to explain to joochan as best you can and he just stays silent and you’re apologizing and then he busts out laughing

and somehow both of you are laughing through the pain and even though joochan wasn’t feeling too good earlier he feels even better laughing with you

when you eventually leave you have a new number in your phone and the promise of seeing joochan tomorrow :)

first thing joochan does when you go is text the 99 line group chat and be like guys someone fell asleep under the piano while i was playing and then woke up and my butt hurts from falling off the stool out of surprise but i think i’m in love

donghyun: stop being dramatic

jibeom: yeah what’ll happen when you accidentally shock them for the first time

joochan: you guys are horrible

but it turns out jibeom is... actually a little bit right

and it’s even worse. because your power is over water

water + electricity Do Not Mix

it isn’t usually too big of a problem? because it’s not like you conjure water out of anywhere or are always soaking wet bc you need water around to manipulate it, you can’t create it yourself

so like it’s kind of fine

except for some reason you react a little worse to joochan’s electric shocks (even mild ones) primarily due to your power which isn’t fun at all

it’s not just you, water manipulators are known to have more averse reactions to electric shocks than people with other powers

but it sucks because you really like joochan and he really likes you and both of you definitely want to ask each other out but how is this going to work if just being around joochan might be a hazard to you?

and for the first time joochan just... he really hates his power

like he’s given people some small burns before on accident but they weren’t big

with you though, even if it’s a small shock you react more badly than anyone expects and joochan really fucking hates it

after several volleyball practices where joochan is really out of it, daeyeol is about to ask what’s up but surprisingly jangjun steps up and says let me handle it

because after getting together with his partner, he thinks he has an idea of what joochan’s upset about

and when he asks joochan spills everything

it’s the first time joochan has really seen jangjun serious about anything other than volleyball or his partner

so jangjun tells joochan about what his partner told him, and really knocking someone unconscious once or twice isn’t as bad (though still bad) as getting electrocuted by a stray fucking spark

but similar advice applies. all powers have a destructive side and it shouldn’t stop joochan from living, he just has to learn to control himself as best as he can. there’s nothing more he can do but that

and this gives joochan the courage to ask if you want to talk about it

i’m going to say it ends well because i’m the author and i’m not going to give joochan a sad ending (he’s joochan what the fuck how could you do that to him) but you do acknowledge what could happen if either of you loses control

which just makes you two more determined to completely master your abilities so you won’t inadvertently hurt each other

really it’s sweet. joochan is still excitable but sparks fly off of him a lot less and the few that do you take care to avoid until his hair stops sticking up with static

and you take care to keep water away from him when he’s full of electricity

when joochan kisses you for the first time your lips tingle like his electricity is bleeding into you but it’s pleasant and sweet unlike his sparks and it just makes you want to kiss him all the time

(you tell that to him and he has to take like five minutes to figure out how to breathe again)

99 line won’t stop clowning you two for how you met and jibeom shows you the text about being in love that joochan sent 

legend says you can still hear jibeom’s electrocuted (not really he’s just being dramatic) screams in the gym late at night

yeah it’s cute you like bringing joochan roses bc they’re his favorite flower and joochan likes to bring you your favorite snacks and jangjun + his partner view you two like younger siblings in a way bc of the nature of your relationship

one big happy family until joochan’s hair sticks up and you have to yeet away

it’s fine though as long as you give him a kiss after he’s calmed down :)

bomin - mind reading

this one turned out so long compared to the others why

for context this was 1.7k and the others were all comfortably between 1k or 1.2k i'm gonna scream

anyway. bomin. mind reader like casey said. he’s kind of got it bad

well all mind readers do until they learn to block off their ability until they actually want to use it

which bomin is learning but he’s young and he found out his powers a little late so he doesn’t have as much experience

meaning whenever he goes to school his head kind of feels like it’s going to explode :/

it’s okay in volleyball - actually if anything it’s kind of useful

because yeah bomin is focused on the game, but he keeps a bit of his mind open to his teammates’ thoughts so he knows where to move or where to keep open and all that

and if the other team is a bunch of assholes he doesn’t stop from reading their minds a little so golcha’s ready to take them on :) small advantages

so where volleyball is concerned it’s not that big of an issue, even when the gym is full of spectators bomin can usually focus even without latching onto an empty mind because there’s so much going on in the game and he has to concentrate on that

however in uninteresting classes or when he’s just having a not good day...

luckily it’s gotten better after a year or so, like bomin can mostly filter out the world if he focuses on just one person’s thoughts

which is usually youngtaek (as casey + irl bomin came up with) because quote unquote ‘there’s not much going on up there’

yes i know i said that already in youngtaek’s part but it’s still hilarious to me and now it’s bomin’s turn so i’m saying it again. sue me

except now youngtaek has a partner about whom he thinks all the fucking time if he isn’t focusing on music/volleyball/class (though the last one is a little less frequent) so concentrating on youngtaek’s mind is now not exactly an option for bomin

no one’s mind is really empty at this point or at least not empty enough for bomin to use as a sort of safe space so he just resigns himself to having to go through all of this until he finally gets the hang of blocking off his ability

so the school year ends and daeyeol/sungyoon graduate wonderful blah blah blah long story short bomin is in all new classes with many new people and it is... a bit much

but life goes on and there’s not much bomin can do about things except work on his own power so even though he’s kinda crumbling around the edges he just smiles and bears it

and then he gets paired with you for a school project. at first it’s not anything special, just a regular project right

but then you guys decide to meet up at a cafe to work on it and it’s more crowded than either of you expected and bomin hasn’t had the greatest day so he just... stops in the middle of the cafe with this weird expression on his face because he’s just really overwhelmed

he doesn’t expect you to grab his wrist and drag him out of the cafe and into a quieter area of the street

and he really doesn’t expect you to say hey. focus on my mind, okay? my mind. focus. 

but he manages to and there’s just blissful emptiness and bomin latches on like it’s his lifeline (in a way, it is) and after a few minutes he manages to get his head together

turns out you have a sibling at home who’s also a mind reader and when they were still learning to control their power you learned to empty your thoughts temporarily so they’d have a place to focus on if things got to be too much

you also have a golden tongue (that you always control carefully) but it helps calm bomin down after he says it’s fine if you use it

after that you tell him if he’s having a mini crisis he can always find you

and bomin just about cries because after daeyeol/sungyoon graduated he kind of felt like his support network at school was missing something bc as much as he clowns them (daeyeol especially) he really relied on both to talk to about his mind-reading issues

now that you’re offering to support him... it just means a lot

definitely doesn’t help that he’s had a bad day in general and his emotions are kinda fraught at this point

you don’t end up getting anything done that day, you just take bomin over to your house bc no one’s there and your family won’t mind even if he’s still there when they get home, so you just take the time to get to know each other a little when bomin feels good enough to interact

he apologizes a lot for nothing getting done but you just hit him and tell him to shut up, it’s not his fault and you still have a couple weeks to work on it so it’s fine

you guys work on the project and it goes well in the end but even after that you and bomin still stay in contact

since you have a sibling who went through the same stuff bomin did, you have some tips to share about blocking out other minds even if your power isn’t the same

plus your golden tongue is really useful in calming bomin during the moments he needs it. you always make sure to get his permission to use it before you do though

when bomin asks about it you say it’s because of consent and stuff and if you don’t get permission it feels more like manipulation than helping? 

to him the similarities between you and daeyeol on that end are uncanny (even if you’re less awkward sorry not sorry daeyeol) and bomin just admires you all the more for it

anyway life’s going well, you and bomin are really good friends now but maybe like halfway through the year or something bomin senses that you’re becoming a little more closed off?

like he does his best not to read your mind but sometimes he gets accidental glimpses and though they’re usually pretty free (as in you don’t care what you’re thinking about around him) he now gets less of these glimpses and when he does, your mind seems emptier than usual

and he doesn’t want to bring it up? because that equals admitting he reads your mind sometimes no matter how accidental it is and with your emphasis on consent with your power bomin isn’t sure how well you’d take it

but then you avoid him for like two weeks so bomin breaks down about it to daeyeol over the phone and yeah it’s time for you two to talk

it takes some awkward silence and prodding and really big effort on bomin’s part to not willingly see what you’re thinking but the gist of it is

you have a fat crush on bomin and you’ve been avoiding him because you don’t want him to accidentally see any of it

bomin is like... y/n what the heck i have a crush on you too why didn’t you say anything :(

anyway it’s time for big reveals i guess so bomin admits he accidentally sees into your mind every so often and he feels really bad about it but you’re super understanding bc of your sibling of course

and bomin feels kind of stupid for worrying so much he should’ve thought of that but oh no now you’re hugging him and saying sorry into his shirt so pretty much all thoughts fly out of his mind because maybe this is a little like heaven to bomin

dating you is so refreshing. he’s so happy to have someone around who completely understands like yeah there are other mind readers in the school but it’s not as common a power as others and they’ve been masters at blocking out the world for a long while that they’ve kinda forgotten about how it feels to a beginner

but you’re so sweet and understanding and bomin feels even better when he meets your sibling who teases you two of course but also serves as another pillar of support for him

it’s not just one-sided either. like even though bomin tries not read your mind without permission, he’s still good at picking up on your moods even if you’re not explicit which makes it so much easier to trust and confide in him

and even if you’re not in the mood to talk he gets that too - he won’t force you to do anything

on the occasions when even you can’t pick through your own thoughts you let bomin take a peek in and even if he can’t help in the moment it’s enough that someone else knows and understands :)

you’re so fucking cute together. like the rest of golcha coos over you. even donghyun who’s the most low-key with his partner jfc

daeyeol and sungyoon come back from university to visit and bomin’s like. we’ve got to hide

you: why

bomin: just trust me

long story short you do not (you: they’re your former teammates and friends! how bad can it be?) and uh by the end of the day maybe you’ve had enough teasing about you/bomin for the rest of your life

but when he’s not teasing you do hit it off with daeyeol bc of the same powers thing and secretly bomin’s really happy that two of the people he treasures the most get along so well

yeah you and bomin are just super cute and rely on each other a lot in a healthy way and you’re always there for each other

everyone wishes they had as nice a relationship as you two :)

you: you shouldn’t. bomin teases me every five fucking seconds about something i did like three months ago

bomin: and yet you love me :)

you: debatable

bomin :|

(it’s ok you kiss him later and he gets smiley again which you delight in seeing even if he does go back to teasing you five seconds later)

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for the team coach he needs some support dealing with all these brats)

[medical-gal]

Death by a thousand cuts

I have been thinking about writing this for months now. Even before I decided to quit the residency at my previous job.

COVID has been kicking our ass, true, but that was (is) true for most healthcare providers all around the world.

No, my struggle started a bit before that actually.

First some background, I have been working at one of the biggest most famous ID clinics in central Europe. The clinic is in a different country than I am originally from so there was a bit of cultural accommodating at the begging. But we were a big group of ID interns/residents/fellows and specialists.

I don't actually remember that much from my first year working there. And I couldn't figure out why, but then I read in some study that when u experience a high dose of stress and/or sleep deprivation for a long time, your brain kinda stopps being able to transcribe short term memory into a long term.

I was working 100hours/week, sometimes less, sometimes more. After a year and a half, when the last half I worked in the ID ER for five months, I always stayed after working 24 hours, sometimes over 36hours, and I would see and treat 70ish patients. Nobody from the older docs would help me out, nobody from other interns either bc usually they would have their own kind of hell to take care of.

The fact that basically, inexperienced doctors are taking care of patients never really phased my ex-boss. Her mantra was that if there was a problem that you cannot resolve, you can call her and she would advise you. Which most of the time was true, I must say that.

But we all have been young docs, barely out of our medical school garments, and sometimes as it happened, we could not recognize there IS a problem that maybe needs a more experienced opinion.

I am often confronted with this idea or more like a culture, of pretending that once you are an MD you don't need help and asking for it is a kind of weakness and that then you are forever on the list of WEAKLINGS.

And let me say this only once.

That's absolute bullshit.

Anyway, the first time I decided to quit I worked there for about a year and a half, I went for a long-expected holiday, I took three weeks off, had interviews and talked with my bf about my options.

Second thing...my man, bless his beard, would support me no matter what. He is almost 10 years older than me, so he has more work experience and I find it reassuring to discuss stuff like this with him bc I know he will not sugarcoat it. He said that I should dig my heels in and last at least one more year till the end of my "internship". As a "resident" who worked at this specific department, I wouldn't have a problem finding another job. We r basically the equivalent of a french legion of medical professionals (when u work in this specific department and everyone knows it, I will come back to that later).

So I took his advice. Thankfully as a part of our training, one of those parts is a year-long internship at the internal medicine department, which I did shortly after we had that conversation and guys, that was a revelation of how medicine and just...work and life can be experienced. There were enough docs for a floor, an attending who had the time to manage and advise us. I´ve grown that year as a doc so much. Other internships were mandatory so I could have become (equivalent of) a resident, and it was a general surgery, anesthesiology, radiology, microbiology etc. But I did them all and became a resident.

The moment I came back to our clinic, my boss would put me in our outpatient department. Which I have never worked on before. The head of the department has quit a few months before, and I had no idea what to do there, bc it's a very different type work. The only thing my boss told me when I spoke of my concerns were "you will learn".

Thankfully the previous head of the department was a good friend of mine and she would always answer my questions and requests. Suddenly I no longer had to deal with the hectic life of an ID floor or ER, no sepsis, meningitis, etc.

Most of my patients were the chronic type...Lyme, chlamydia, mycoplasma... let's say it literally drained the life out of me. But I managed. Also, I started to work for their outpatient office which takes care of patients with chronic hepatatis. That I enjoyed more.

I also started to dip my toes in vaccinology, either planned like for travel but I started to be more interested in preventive care in the immunocompromised and my own phantasmagoria was to make a palliative care team in our hospital. Bc, we had none. And then a wonderful thing happened, other docs, older experienced, great at their work, started to refer their patients to me specifically.

There were more examples of the utter a complete FUCK U(s) which were kindly provided either by the system or by the head of the department or the hospital.

Then covid hit and the shit hit the interstellar space.

I still can't make myself remember the first few months bc it actually causes me to go into a rage fit, and honestly, I am done with that kind of negativity.

I hold out for a year. Year of such shitty treatment from the chief and our hospital head. No thank you- s or you are doing a good job or we r all on the same ship.

No.

People will say that I quit bc of the money. And that's not true, tho it did irk me a bit. All the other ID specialists working at different hospitals would get covid bonuses every month. We got jack shit. Again, the best biggest most know ID clinic. We were the first and oftern the ONLY ones who would test for/diagnose/hospitalize/treat a patient who had covid FOR MONTHS in the beginning.

I mean, the medical community is small, the ID community even smaller so yes, we were able to compare and contrast the work at different ID departments in other hospitals bc our friends worked there. And all of them would go speechless when they would hear from us what we were living thru.

At one point at the beginning of the pandemic, ALL the ambulances would go thru our ER department and we were supposed to decide where the patient should go.

AN EXAMPLE

Ambulance with a woman who has known colon cancer, had a fever, stomach as a rock and is projectile vomiting. I was supposed to decide where she should go and the surgeon would be super pissed when I said that I don't think she has COVID but without PCR I can't be sure but I think there is a bigger pressing issue. I remember him saying:

"well if anyone else gets infected at our department and dies, it's on you."

fun.

There were other examples of seriously stressful episodes which I and my coworkers lived thru, for which we were not trained for, advised, or properly supervised. At a certain point, I started to take anxiolytics before and during my all-nighters bc I didn't know what I would do with all that stress which was so callously shat on me and my coworkers.

For a few months, I stopped working nights, only thru the mercy of my coworkers who saw how exhausted I was and would take my shifts.

Anyway, after only two months I had to start working nights bc I needed the money. The basic pay for docs was just not enough without the extra from night shifts. Talk about exploiting.

The moment however when I decided to QUIT, when I was DONE, when I actually heard my heart break, was the moment at the end of the previous year. They decided to start vaccinating in our tiny small vaccination centre. Let's say a "shit storm" brewing is the light version of events that ensued.

But basically, as I was trying to discuss with my boss that we are all exhausted, that this wave is not slowing down and that throwing more work at us, the docs and nurses and other staff, who are overworked, is not a good idea,

What she basically said to me is that who says things like that is lazy and that if she can handle it everyone must be also.

The thing is..most of us were at the bring. Some would handle it with casual and calous sex, drugs (legal or not), a bottle of wine before sleep. A coworker ended up with antipsychotics.

But u know,

we were all lazy apperently.

I realized there is no way out of this other than quitting. I could not continue being so tired and sad all the time. I took two weeks off, really thought about it. Had diarrhoea and nausea for a week as I realized I will have to quit :D

On a Monday I came back, handed in my notice. Basically what she told me and how she reacted made me realized how right the decision was.

I had to stay there for another three months bc that's the law, but my mood changed significantly.

I got another job in a smaller ID department, working with amazingly kind people, but that's another story.

But that was the only interview I actually looked for and did. I, however, did get several job offers from different types of medicine. From heads of different departments in my old hospital to smaller general medicine chain offices who are looking for ID specialists, to insurance companies.

Like I said, french legion.

Or Runway and your boss is Miranda Pristley. Once u survive that, u survive anything.

But at my old work they would keep hitting you with wave after wave of passive agressive comments about how if u quit, u wont be able to find anything as"prestigious" as this.

There were many other exmaples of a shitty and questionable situations which were treated as "normal" but there is not point on getting on that rage train.

Contrary as it might seem, I am greatful I got to live thru this, good and bad, bc now I know what I am and am not willing to sacrifice for a job. No matter how much I might love it.

[felassan]

Gamers For Groceries 2 event

A Twitch stream event from a few days ago. It can currently be re-watched here (it was fun & interesting, so I do recommend to check it out direct). This post contains some notes on things of particular interest & relevant timestamps, in case this is useful to anyone (for example bc of accessibility reasons).

First up is the All About Animating panel, a series of mini-interviews with game devs (animators) asking what they do, how they got there, and advice for anyone interested in getting into the industry. Some or all of the devs that were interviewed are currently working on DA4. They talked a bit about their day-to-day work and a lot about the craft of game dev animation in general. This segment runs from timestamp ~38 mins 40 secs to 1:07:50. Some notes:

[sounded like DA4] Right now the creature team are working on different creatures in a way which involves going through a lot of mocap data

At BioWare they have a pretty big technical animation team, to support their animators, so each tech animator has a different specialty. Tech anim involves animation support, character art support, and rigging the characters so that the animators can pose them

[not sure if re: DA4 work specifically, another project or a general comment on the craft] One of the featured animators’ area of specialty at the moment is faces and hair (building the control structure for face animations). First they had to decide how the face rig and its control structure would work. This involves a lot of performance capture of live actors for things like cinematics and gameplay animation, therefore the rigs for bodies and faces have to be able to accurately capture the full range of expressions and emotions that the actor is portraying. Right now the stage that this dev is working on most is setting up the heads that they’re getting through the pipeline from character art e.g. making adjustments based on feedback from the cinematics team. “Polish - just trying to get realism”

Hair tech has come quite a long way in the last few years [in the industry]

[not sure if re: DA4 work specifically, another project or a general comment on the craft] Hair is very complex to get right. “In the past most games have used card-based hair, which is basically like sheets of polygons with a texture on it that looks like hair, through layers of transparency. But real hair is strand-based, digital strands, so we’re starting to look into that kind of tech - try to get more realistic, more beautiful hair, but there’s always a performance cost to hair. Layers of transparent things are always an expense, they need to balance like, it looks good and moves well, but it doesn’t make your computer or console chug. [...] I guess we’re in the prototype stage but we’ve almost got a set pipeline. It’s always fun to experiment”

In Mass Effect 2 or 3, Miranda’s hair was as expensive as a whole character (!)

[on balancing hair costs/performance, general] It depends on things like character importance and how many characters are on-screen at the time. When you’re in gameplay fighting a bunch of monsters you’re not going to be giving full beautiful hair to all the characters and the monsters, as it will cost too much. (Having a helmet on is a convenient way to get rid of hair.) But if it’s a cinematic scene, with 2 characters talking to each other in a dramatic context, there’s a better budget for nice hair allocated

Some of the hair in Anthem was quite expensive in cinematics. They kept getting bugs from QA saying (for example) that a character’s hair was tripling the performance cost in the scene, so it would go back to character art so they could take away some of the hair cards. “Tough balance, quality versus cost”

“I wish all the characters could have beautiful strand hair”

For p-cap, a lot of the time they don’t want to be too prescriptive in terms of the direction that they’re giving the actors, as the actors know what they’re doing and have a lot of experience, so they give them vague instructions that they then riff off of

[sounded like DA4] They recently did a mocap shoot

[sounded like DA4] There’s a bit more productivity happening now in the pandemic situation; now that the animators are not all going to the capture lab in Vancouver in person for shoots, if it’s not their turn to direct a shot they can instead be working on something else on their computers (multi-tasking). ((Lead DA4 Producer Scylla Costa recently gave a talk at a games festival on the challenges of DA production during the pandemic. In part of this talk he talked about various benefits and drawbacks to the remote-working situation. He also talked about and showed some behind-the-scenes stuff for p-cap and mocap. Notes, images and link here))

[sounded like DA4] Special mocap suits were sent out that they can use with a laptop to go anywhere and shoot motion capture. It’s not as high fidelity as what comes out of the capture lab, but it’s really good for prototyping stuff. Before the pandemic they did some of this (going to a park and shooting some running around)

[sounded like DA4] In one of the shoots they had some actors who were really well-trained in dancing. They were trying to get them to do some combat stuff. This was a bit challenging in the pandemic situation as there’s only so much they can demonstrate/portray as an example to the actors from a distance on camera. “It’s hard to describe what a ‘dodge to attack’ is through the camera to somebody who has no idea what combat looks like in video games”

[not sure if re: DA4 work specifically, another project or a general comment on the craft] The pandemic has really affected performance capture for the face side of things badly, as in order to record, the actor gets dots painted on their face in specific locations by a makeup artist. They can’t do that right now because of social distancing/restrictions, so they haven’t been recording faces at the moment

The more detailed a face, the more joints it has, the more the cost to performance is

---

There was also the Writers’ Block panel, featuring DA writers Mary Kirby, Sheryl Chee and Patrick Weekes, and DA editor Karin Weekes. The timestamps for this segment are ~2:37:50 - 3:26:20. Some notes:

PW has never been weirder than when they were writing Cole on DAI

PW thinks that they accidentally wrote part of “Timber” by Kesha into Solas at one point and they were like “Well, okay, I have to stop listening to Kesha”

For Sheryl, after a while Blackwall’s VA always nailed doing his lines. She loved the quality of his voice and so after a while would always hear his voice while she was writing. This really worked out

^ Mary had this with Merrill. As soon as they cast Eve Myles she listened to several hours of her in Torchwood, and then just wrote to the way that she spoke as much as possible

^ PW had this with GDL as Solas and FPJ as Bull. As soon as they heard FPJ’s delivery, they were like “Oh, okay, I have to write some lines differently, because Bull is smarter than I realized”. With GDL they were like “Okay, he’s going to put poetry into anything I say, in the best way possible”. In early drafts of Solas lines there were parts where they [PW] wondered “Is this too melodramatic? Is this too tragically-angstful?” and then they would hear GDL and be like “Oh! [It’s fine] Game on!”

For localization, German words are often quite long so they often have to make sure that everything fits on the GUI

They think scenes like the romance scenes sound prettier in the Italian versions

Behind the curtain in creating the in-world languages: PW: “There are some awesome websites that have every elven word, like ‘Here are the translations and verb tenses and conjugations’ [etc], [...] and usually Mary and I get very sad slightly looking at those pages going like ‘Does that mean that we have to stick to that?’ [...] The rule is, if I’ve looked at the Wiki and the words, and I go ‘Here’s the correct grammatical way to do it’, and if that turns out to be too long or too many disconnected syllables and it just looks bad or sounds bad, then we shorten it to something simpler, because the key is we want to give the flavor of a foreign language, but we don’t have the world-building budget and capacity to make something that is going to be dictionary-real [in a way that] someone could go through and translate all the background things written on the old temple walls”. Part of the reason for this is the consideration for VAs, who already have to act while bearing lots of things in mind, like the cues in the script for each line

Mary: “For building a language, the first things that I started with for qunlat, elven and dwarven, was what words do we need to use the most? Greetings, farewells, words for friend and enemy, basic things that will come up easily in conversation. After that it’s ‘How difficult is this for other writers to use?’ Can they just pick it off the Wiki? Do they need just one word? Do they need to write whole sentences, and how does that work? Qunlat has almost no grammar to it because asking anyone to learn how to use Qunari grammar and conjugate verbs in a pretend language is impossible, and then once you’ve done that a human being has to be able to read it, while not knowing what any of it means”

PW: “One thing that I was really impressed with with Mary in particular doing, Mary was one of the big lore people across the entire DA series; I can look at a word and go like, ‘That has two A’s in a row, that’s definitely a Qunari word. That word is kind of long and maybe has some apostrophes and has a couple of flowy vowel sounds, that’s probably elven’, I think that’s what’s important. You want players to be able to look at a word, players want to feel smart, [like] ‘Oh I don’t know what that means but I totally know that’s a word from the Qunari people!’”. Mary: “Every language has its own set of phonemes, the sounds that they make, and the sort of word structure and spelling so that it gives a flavor to that language. Hopefully that is always chosen to be pronounceable, because again, very important that the words can be said by human beings :D”

Sheryl: “One of the fun things to do is to make up swear words in the fake languages [...] Recently Brianne wanted a word, I don’t know if she managed to find one”

The origin of bosh’tet in ME: it’s just saying “bastard” and slurring it

PW: “I feel like there are times when past writers kind of leave traps for future writers, where past writers will go ‘Okay, I’m going to write this detailed phrase in a codex entry but don’t worry, it doesn’t matter if it can never be said aloud, because it’ll never have to be voiced!’ and then, next game, guess what guys! Look what you have to make someone [a VA] say! And you’re like [facepalm], c’mon!”

Karin: “Now, four games in, we have pages and pages of all these examples, and I wanna say this, well that’s how we said something before, well that’s ridiculous, I don’t wanna say that, but now we’ve said it and it’s out there, so it’s like, how do we, y’know, how do we evolve, and sometimes we just go ‘Screw it! Languages are living languages! We’ll just say it like this now!’”

PW's favorite is the sarcastic Mythal’enaste, “Because it’s the sarcastic Mythal's blessing that basically means you’re getting screwed over somehow. I love it because Mythal nasty! Whoever wrote that clearly never thought that someone would have to say this out loud”

Sheryl wrote Bull’s joke icicles line. She also wrote Isabela’s big boats line - Jennifer took it out but then DG was like “No it has to come back”

They have a pun test, they get a few of them and have to allot them wisely so as not to oversaturate on the puns. “Is this good/bad enough to be one of the times that we pull the trigger? We did have one of those recently, I obviously can’t talk about it, but it was pronounced Okay to go ahead”

The ‘baby-est’ writer is Brianne, who’s been there 8 years

It makes PW sad that the players never get to see the writers’ temp-text [placeholder text when portions are a WIP]. “People have the best temp-text". Mary: “The number of conversations that I’ve temped in like ‘WELL. I hope nothing BAD happens HERE’”

Q. If you could bring in anybody from outside of gamedev, who would you like to work with and do a writer’s session with? PW: “I will say romance novelist Nora Roberts, she is really smart and also she knows how to write inside a genre, and do wonders within it. Her structure is so good. If you pick up one of her books, you know here’s when this is gonna happen, here’s when they’re gonna meet, here’s when this first moment will happen. We’re all experienced and I feel pretty good about that but I really like all of the things she does that way, and also I am a sucker for romance so I would love to bring a romance novelist in and just have them look at our scenes and go ‘Okay here, no, they should pull the tie so that the article of clothing comes open, we need a sense of how warm the skin is here’ - something like that. I’d wanna see what they could do with that”

“Luke writes the best worst lines”

“I’m always impressed with Mary getting away with lines. There are lines that I look at like, wow, you buried that one. [...] The only players who get that line, I feel like they earned it if they went that far into it. [...] And then Varric or Merrill says a ridiculous line in a one-time throwaway”

Karin: “The group dynamic, you’ll see conversations or snippets of a lunch chat or a thing we’ve been joking about and you’ll see it get pulled in, and how all of you [the writers] are able to take a normal kind of thing - as normal as we get as a group anyway - and then turn it into a moment, and use it to further the plot or use it to further a character. It’s just the cleverest thing and it happens in so many different ways. [...] The little snippet of life, then how you crafted it into this very cool thing”

Quartermaster Threnn was written by PW in half a day. “When I was writing Threnn, ‘Okay, this is a good-hearted [person], I was doing a little bit of Steel Magnolias, southern, no-nonsense, but like, blue collar Steel Magnolias’. This is someone accustomed to the ways of the world so she’s going to call a spade a spade. If you come up to her and you’re an elf she doesn’t recognize you and says ‘Buckets are over there’ because she thinks you’re there to clean, [but] ‘Anyone calls you a knife-ear you come to me I’ll take care of it’. It’s problematic but she’s trying - the good-hearted person rooted for the wrong group on every occasion. She was a proud Loghain supporter, she gets really exited if he comes to Skyhold.  That was a fun character for me to write because I had a viewpoint in my mind. I remember someone was like ‘Threnn is really important to me’. And you have to honor that, cause you’re like ‘Cool, it means so much to me that this connected with some part of you’”

---

Also of interest was the Mass Affection panel, in which BioWare devs looked back in over a decade of history to remaster a classic. It featured devs who worked on MELE. The timestamps for this segment are ~3:36:09 - 4:24:37. Some notes:

When the pandemic hit the MELE team were in a relatively awkward spot. They were really entering into what they consider full production and were on-boarding a bunch of teams, as well as training and on-boarding third-party external partner specialized teams worldwide. When the pandemic hit, BioWare and EA were super on top of it. They were tracking it weeks beforehand, getting everyone their computers ready, and getting everything encrypted. When the middle of March 2020 hit they were home rightaway. EA were nothing but supportive throughout the entire thing. They got money every quarter for stuff. It functionally ‘hit’ at 4-6 different times for them as the pandemic occurred in different places throughout the world at different times depending on each country’s response plan (and their external partners were in different countries). “So it was one of those things where it was just like, every day we’d come in like can we still work with this company anymore? Do we need to find someone else? Do we need to pull people in off the other projects at BioWare to fill gaps here and there?”

There was a bug on Virmire at the part when you’re coming into the STG camp. If the Mako had its new boosters on and you came hurtling in really fast, it cut to the cutscene, but the Mako hit a jump and when Ash was like “What do we do now?” the Mako ended up literally flying around in the background sideways and then crashing into the camp

Another bug: when they were re-tuning the guns, the physics force on some of the guns with Hammerhead rounds was so high that when you were fighting some of the Thorian Creepers, you could ragdoll them so hard that you could basically embed them in the roof. They’d be moving so fast that they’d penetrate all the walls with their legs dangling out. It was so easy to do and you could do it to everybody. You could launch a geth halfway across an Uncharted World

Another bug: with Shepard’s casual appearance in ME3, if you didn’t have it set up perfectly correctly it would default to Grunt for some reason. You’d be walking around as Grunt, going on dates as Grunt, and your face would be all scrunched up because it was all mapped to human bones still, so it was just, like, Nightmare Fuel of Grunt

Another bug: in ME2 on Illium when trying to recruit Samara, the Asari enemies just would not stop screaming - regardless of whether they were hit or not, it was endless screaming. Later one of the devs got an audio file of the scream, endless and looped, and now one of the devs has it on their phone and uses it for their morning alarm tone

“Shepard would come up to characters and they’d just be screaming”

---

There was also the Programming Variables panel, talking about what hurdles game programmers face. Some [or all?] of the devs that were part of this panel are currently working on DA4. They talked a bit about their day-to-day work and about the craft of game dev programming in general. The timestamps for this segment are ~ 4:24:46 - 5:06:02.

[source]

[insights/notes from Gamers For Groceries 1]

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