#bc youtube is fucked and insecure

[annwayne]

okay so my partner and I were probably the only people who were excited when watcher announced watchertv.

but we thought they made like. a whole fucking streaming service. video hosting themselves. an app you could download on your phone, xbox, that kinda thing.

apparently not.

[skenpiel]

LMFAO I JUST REALIZED I NEVER LOOKED UP THE VIDEOS THAT YOUTUBER FEATURED US IN FROM NCS 😭 this is borderline painful to watch

[redr0sewrites]

Adam x Reader General Hcs

HAD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR HIM HES JUST SO. AUGAHGEHEG. i love him. characterizing him is so fun, but so challenging at the same time.

🥀 Cw: adam being adam, sfw + nsfw hcs, smut, breeding kink

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

sfw:

Adam is more prone to casual flings and hookups, hes def not huge on relationships and longterm partners

this means that if your with him, you must be pretty special bc hes a huge ass handful

while he is a pretty big douche, adam is definitely loyal imo

deep down, hes still pretty insecure about both lilith and eve, and im a firm believer that he would never cheat on a partner if he was in a serious relationship

adam comes up with very.... interesting nicknames for you that are 10x more vulgar than the ones he uses for everyone else

hes HUGE on nicknames and petnames in general, at the start of a relationship theyre pretty crude and flirty but over time they start to become sweeter

sugartits, doll, sweet cheeks, bitch boy/babe, babycakes, BAE, lemondrop (idk it just fits), mama/mami, honeytits, honestly anything that comes to mind

adam likes to put "my" in front of most of your petnames, its not so much in a possessive way, moreso in a bragging way, he just loves telling the world that your HIS

he also definitely calls you bro, brah, dude, etc he doesn't care that it "doesnt sound romantic" 💀

adam finds the MOST unhinged things hilarious, hes the type to watch those ten hour long youtube videos of a spinning potato chip and laugh every ten seconds

speaking of, he has one of those loud, booming laughs with a slight wheeze to it

"BAAHAHAHAHAH BAE COME HERE LOOK AT THIS HAHA" and its just a low quality video of a water bottle falling over???

100% a shitty pickup line user

and also a shitty flirter in general

his flirting is just

obnoxious

adam is very proud of you, when the two of you officially got together he probably called half of heaven to announce that you two were dating

"THATS MY PARTNER‼️‼️‼️" type of vibes

adam acts like he isnt big on cuddles bit is secretly the clingiest, most touch starved person alive

PLEASE let him hold you, this man is tall af and loves just swallowing you in an embrace

when he was "courting" you (irritating you constantly and flirting with you obnoxiously until you caught on that he was serious) the biggest tell that his feelings were genuine was the amount of physical contact he initiated

adam was always leaning on you, throwing an arm over your shoulder, resting a hand on your thigh, hooking his arm through yours, overall invading your personal space

he was incredibly happy to FINALLY be able to cuddle with you when you both got together, and HAS to fall asleep touching you in some way every night

adam is almost always wearing his exterminator helmet, but he really likes it when you take it off for him at the end of the day. even he doesn't really understand why, but there's something so intimate to him about the fact that you love his real face more than the persona he puts on

he would rather die than admit it tho

hes not good at words or communication in general, and prefers to express his appreciation through actions

he brings you foods that he knows you like on days where you're especially busy, he gives you song recommendations that he'll think you'll like, he'll buy you a trinket he saw you eyeing at the store, just tiny things like that

adam genuinely does care about you, but as per his usual adam-ness, he would rather go bald than live up to that 💀

nsfw:

you cant tell me this man isnt kinky as shit

hes tried pretty much everything

HE LOVES TO HIT FROM THE BACK, DEF LIKES DOGGY STYLE

i also think he would like the mating press too, getting to watch your face as he wrecks you while also having the opportunity to leave bites all over your thighs, and feel them tremble as he fucks you? sign him up!

his dick is big big

i think hed be a little thicker than average, with a few veins running up the underside, but its his length that's downright heavenly

adam keeps himself pretty well groomed, but has a prominent happy trail and light fuzz at the very base of his cock

listen, this is the first man we're talking about, he KNOWS what hes doing

whether you're male or female, he will go down on you

once he buries himself between your thighs youre done for, adam barely comes up for air as he devours you

hes def sloppy w it too, loves when you cum on his face so he can lick it up

enjoys it when you return the favor as well, i actually think hed really realy like receiving head

would def fuck your face until your drooling

if you hve an oral fixation, you're in luck bc he LOVES watching you suck his dick, his fingers, anything really

adam always makes you lick and suck his fingers before fingering you, and will sometimes trigger your gag reflex by shoving them down your throat to watch you gasp and whine

adam has STAMINA, expect to stay up all night bc this man will stop at nothing to make sure you're both satisfied

i swear this man is built to breed, he has a HUGE breeding kink and goes crazy at the sight of his cum dripping from your hole. even if it's physically impossible for you to get pregnant, adam still babbles about "fucking a prety little babe" into you when he cums

adam likes using plugs to make sure his cum stays inside you, he'll also finger it back inside and loves smearing his cum on your thighs and ass

he also brings his fingers up to your face and has you lick the cum off of them

LOOOVEEEESSS marking you, by the end of the night youre always covered in bruises and scratches and hickeys galore

i love adam guys yes ik hes a douche but hes my douche <3

i wish i characterized him better but whateverrrrrr i dont want to write him as a total asshole but hes def not an angel either (haha im so funny💀)

[daddyslilchickenfingers2]

Slutmas Day 6

Stressed & Insecure (Matt)

Request: None

Warnings: Mommy kink, talk of poor mental heath, angsty at first, Matt being insecure, talk of body dysmorphia, friends to lovers, cockwarming, oral, whiny Matt

“You’re such a good boy for letting mommy take care of you like this”

Matt’s pov

Everything sucks right now, I’m so busy with work, it’s taking up all of my time, and everything going on right now backs up to that. I was purely stressed from work originally, which I know might seem easy, but don’t be fooled because it’s not. We’ve had so many meetings for sponsored content, videos, guest appearances, and merch designing, on top of filming for our YouTube and the Podcast. I’m genuinely just drained, my anxiety is high, I can’t sleep, and I’m overall in a bad mood.

I know what you’re thinking, ‘why not just jack off?’ well that’s because I can’t. I guess with being stressed and overwhelmed by everything, my cock just won’t get hard. It probably doesn’t help that my body is constantly getting hated on because of my weight, it makes me really insecure and uncomfortable with myself and my body. I was sitting at my desk doing some more online work and it was pissing me off, I’m so frustrated! I’m just doing so much overthinking and it’s making me stressed, overwhelmed, and insecure.

Just as I threw my notebook across the room there was a small knock and Chris popped his head in. “Matt, are you alright? Do you need anything?” Chris asked, knowing I wasn’t in the best mental state. “I’m fine, I just want to be alone” I sighed back, “Are you still coming to Larray’s house with us tonight?” I completely forgot about that. Chris looked a bit disappointed by my answer but he understood, “Nah I’m just gonna stay here, ‘m stressed and overwhelmed right now so I won’t be any fun” I said before Chris closed the door.

That was my insecurities talking, I always found myself rather boring and unenthusiastic when I’m in these moods. It had been about an hour of trying to get hard and then sitting in my chair with my head in my hands. My door slowly creeped open and I immediately assumed it was Chris or Nick. “Get the fuck out of my room!” I yelled, turning around to be met with my best friends confused face. “I’m sorry, Chris said they were leaving and I should come keep you company because you’re having a bad day. I didn’t mean to make you upset” Y/n said quite nervously. I slammed my fist down on my desk before completely losing it, hot tears rolling down my face.

1 hour earlier

Y/n’s pov

I was at a nail appointment when I got a text message, I was already done with my fingers and in the chair for my toes.

iMessage start at 5:02pm

Chrisizzle🍊

bro are you busy

Y/n/n🪼

i’m getting my toes done rn

why

Chrisizzle🍊

at 5:30 me and nick are going to larray’s for the night

so i wanted to ask you a favor

yk how matt’s been kinda moody lately?

well today he’s really stressed and sad so he’s in a bad mood and i don’t want him to be alone tonight so can you head over afterwards and chill with him?

Y/n/n🪼

you literally just set up a playdate for your child lmao

but yeah i’ll go over there, i’ve missed my matty poo

Chrisizzle🍊

wow but you don’t miss me

that one hurt Y/n/n 🥲

anyways lmk when you get to our house bc we leave in 15

Y/n/n🪼

awe of course i miss you too sizzle 🤍

i’m abt to pay then I’ll head over

Chrisizzle🍊

don’t call me sizzle

*Y/n/n🪼 disliked this message*

iMessage ends at 5:37pm

The message had been from one of my best friends, Chris, he asked if I would go hang with his triplet bother, Matt, for tonight. I know he’s been getting a lot of hate about his attitude/weight and has been down the past 2 or 3 weeks, so I was hoping to cheer him up. I drove directly to the boys house after paying for my nails since I had a bunch of essentials over there and didn’t need anything from home.

I let myself in with my key and walked up to Matt’s room, which groans of frustration could be heard coming from. I lightly knocked before entering his room, as I was reclosing the door Matt yelled. “Get the fuck out of my room!” he said angrily, Matt’s never yelled at me before and he looked so pissed off that I got a little nervous.

I quickly replied with “I’m sorry, Chris said they were leaving and I should come keep you company because you’re having a bad day. I didn’t mean to make you upset” he looked at me for a second before I saw his face change to one of pain, hurt, and anxiety. Matt slammed his fist onto his desk yelling “Fuck!” before choking out into sobs.

His whole body was shaking and he slid out of his chair onto the floor, something he does when he’s really, really upset. I immediately ran over to sit next to him, wrapping my arms around his shaking figure. “I’m sorry! They hate me and I’m sorry!” he blurted out, causing me to be a bit confused as Matt’s hands desperately clung onto my shirt.

“It’s okay Matt, let it all out. You’re safe honey, I’ve got you-“ I was cut off by Matt pulling away from my shirt and basically screamed out in pain. “I don’t know what the fuck I did! Y/n, what’s wrong with me!? A-Am I not good enough!? I’m too skinny, I try to eat more but I can’t gain weight, I fucking hate my body! All I keep doing is disappointing everyone, Y/n I-I don-“ he started spiraling into a panic attack and I was worried, I have never seen Matt this bad before.

I didn’t know what else to do so I pushed past my own anxieties and kissed him. I cupped both of his cheeks and smashed our lips together, Matt was shocked at first so he didn’t kiss back but once he realized what was happening, he kissed back. I pulled away and Matt’s lips tried to chase mine before he opened his eye.

“W-What was that for?” he asked, a bit breathless from his previous breakdown. I suddenly felt shy so I looked down, “I uh- I didn’t know how else to get you to stop talking” I said, nervously playing with my fingers. “Oh, well thanks?” he said in a questioning tone, “Did you mean what you said about your body? Do you really think that?” I softly asked.

Matt groaned and stood up, offering me his hand, “I don’t want to talk about it but yes, I do hate my body” he mumbled as I too stood up. We made our way over to his bed and laid there in silence for a few minutes. I rolled over to my side facing Matt “Have you tried cumming?” I questioned quietly, “What!?” he rolled to face me as well, confused by what I just said.

“You know, because you’re stressed. I think I read somewhere that having an orgasm helps to relieve stress” Matt’s face was now painted red. He rolled over to be flat on his back again, “I’ve tried but I can’t get hard” he exhaled deeply. “Oh… I could try to help if you want” I offered, chewing on my nails, Matt turned to face me again, “Help.. me get… Help me get hard?” he questioned nervously.

We both had blush covering our faces at this point, “Yeah, then I can go chill in Nicks room and you can jerk off” I smiled shyly. “I mean that could work but I don’t want to be naked if you have clothes on” “You don’t have to be naked, you just have to trust me” “I-I trust you, how do we start though?” we conversed. I took a moment to think before asking, “Do you want to make out first, I know I’m like a lot bigger than you so I don’t know if it would be a problem for me to sit on your lap. Is it a problem?” I asked self-consciously as we both sat up.

Matt looked at me with an unamused look, “If that’s your way of making me feel worse about my body, it worked because your body is amazing” he huffed out, avoiding looking at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel that way” I said with a sad smile, upset that I hurt Matts feelings. “I know you didn’t but my body is like the main reason I cant get hard. I don’t like looking at myself naked, it shows off too much of what’s wrong with me” he replied.

It was silent again for a few minute until I broke the silence again, “I think it’s hot” “What?” Matt looked at me confused. “Your body, I think it’s hot” I smirked, “You think so?” “I know so, don’t you ever notice me staring at you when you’re shirtless or only wearing your boxers?” I teased some more. “I haven’t noticed actually, however, I have noticed you’re not on my lap yet” Matt pouted, pulling me onto his lap.

I was about to say something but was cut off by Matt grabbing the side of my face/neck and pulled me into a sweet kiss that quickly turned needy. I pulled back for a second to catch my breath, “Shit, I’m sorry! I’m just so touch starved and crave physical affection. You were gonna say something?” he panicked. “It’s okay, I know that physical touch is your love language, it’s one of the things I like about you. I forgot what I was going to say but I can tell you I’ll kiss you again” I giggled.

With that, Matt pulled my face to his again and this time the kiss was soft, yet also rough and needy. I had my hands wrapped around Matt’s neck, but his laid awkwardly at his sides, almost as if he’s scared to touch me. I pulled back from the kiss to grab his wrist and mumbled something against his lips. “You can touch me you know” I smirked as I placed Matt’s hands on my waist and went back to kissing him.

Matt’s hands quickly slid down and tightly gripped onto my hips, slowly starting to rock me back and forth. I started feeling his cock get hard and once I could tell he was fully hard, I stopped everything which caused Matt to let out a displeased whine. “Mmh why’d you stop?” he pouted, “Because you’re hard now, which means it’s my queue to leave” I said while trying to get up.

Matt held my hips down and begged, “Please don’t go! I-I don’t think I’ll be able to make myself cum, me being alone with my naked body sounds like a bad dream” he sighed. Piggybacking off what was just said he added, “W-Would you please m-make me feel good? I’ll let you have your way with me as long as it’s not super rough because I’m not in the mood for that” his eyes got a shade or two darker.

“Yeah, I can give you head if you want or you can sit back, relax and enjoy the full sub treatment” “Does the full sub treatment include sex? Because I’ve never been the submissive one before, I uh usually do doggy so my body isn’t seen as much. I’ve never even had a chick ride me before but you being on top sounds really hot, we don’t to have sex by the way, I was just saying if you wanted to I’m down” Matt confessed.

“If you stop talking about sex with other women, you have a deal. I might keep my shirt on though” I replied as I started slowly rocking my hips again. Matt’s grip on my waist tightened and he thrusted his hips up, his hard-on pressing against my clit so nicely that I let out a small, quiet moan. His eyes grew even darker after that, “No you will not. I wanna see your beautiful belly, I just know it’s gonna turn me on so much more” he instructed me.

I blushed and nodded, “Okay then handsome, just lay back and let me do all the work, tonight is all about you” I said, watching him nod before my lips were on his. I slid my tongue across his bottom lip, silently asking for access to his mouth which was quickly granted. He had a bit of trouble giving up control over the kiss at first but once I started trailing my kisses down his throat, he finally gave up on trying to win.

Matt’s pov

After Y/n had dominated the kiss, we made out for a bit before she started kissing down my neck. Once she reached the collar of my shit, she stopped and stood up to unbutton her pants. “If you really want me to make you feel good, take your pants off for me” she said seductively as she pulled off her own baggy jeans. I followed her directions and pulled my sweats off before grabbing her hand and leading her to sit on my lap again.

Y/n sat on my lap again before taking off her shirt, leaving her in a black lacy bra with matching panties. “Fuck… you look so goddamn beautiful” I said while looking into her eyes, my hands running up her thighs. “Mmm, thank you handsome. Can I take your shirt off?” she smiled, placing a short but sweet kiss to my lips, “You can do whatever you want to me” I panted, already being completely whipped for her.

She took my shirt off before whispering in my ear, “You’re such a good boy for letting mommy taking care of you like this” as I helped her get my pants and boxers off. “Such a pretty cock Matty. You gonna let me make you feel good?” Y/n teased, making me squirm a bit. “Please! Please just make me cum!” I pathetically begged as I watched her hand slowly move up and down my cock.

Y/n’s pov

“Anything for my sweet boy. Now tell me what it is that you want baby” I asked softly, loving how fucked out he looked already. “Want your mouth please mommy! Want you to ride me after!” Matt confessed all whiny and desperate, and who was I to deny him that? Without a word, I nodded before bring his tip into my mouth, loving the whimper he let out, “Yeah j-just like that, fuck!” he groaned as I swirled my tongue around his tip.

After teasing Matt a little bit, I decided to fully take him into my mouth, almost immediately deepthroating his cock. “Holy shit mommy! You’re so good at this! I won’t last long!” he cried out, bucking his hips up when I hummed against him. I continued doing this for a few more minutes when I felt Matt start to twitch in my mouth, his lower abdomen contacting as well.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck! I’m gonna cum— shit!” he whimpered as his hips thrusted upward and his left hand came down to hold my head in place. His right hand was pulling at his own hair as he shout a huge load into my mouth, so much that it was literally dripping out of the corners of my mouth. As I came up for air, I wiped the corners of my mouth to clean up the spilled cum and then licked it off.

“Did that feel good Matty? You were such a good boy” I smile as I placed a sweet kiss to his lips. “More! I-I need more! Y/n please, I need you to ride me. I’m so fucking hard still, I need to drain my balls in you” Matt begged me. “So needed aren’t we?” “Yes, please I need you” Matt nearly yelled with tears in his eyes. “Okay, okay, calm down sweet boy. You’ll get what you want, just be patient” I spoke softly as I pulled off my panties and unhooked my bra.

Matts hands immediately went down to my ass, staring up at me with a look of desperation. “Are you gonna be a good boy?” “Very good!” I smiled as I slowly sunk down on his cock, trying to adjust to how long and thick it was. “S-So tight mommy! So f-fucking tight!” Matt whimpered out as I started to move up and down with the help of him. Both of us were moaning quite loudly as I started to move faster, pulling his hair in the process.

“Such a good boy Matty, making mommy feel so good with your big cock!” “W-Want you to cum. Wanna f-fill you up” Matt grunted as he started bucking his hips up into me at a fast pace. We were both very close and with one more thrust that hit my g-spot perfectly, I was cumming on his cock. “Fuck Matt, I’m cumming. Oh god— cum for me baby!” I cried as I rode through my orgasm, starting to slightly overstimulated but wanting Matt to cum.

With a loud whiny growl, Matt came inside of me, this load was equally as big as the one from earlier, instantly dripping down his balls. “Holy shit— I love you, and I’m not just saying that because you gave me the most mind blowing orgasm ever. I genuinely love you Y/n” Matt confess as he started to rub my back. “I love you too Matt, I mean it” I smiled as I placed a soft kiss to his lips “Don’t get off, cockwarm me all night please” he sweetly asked.

I agreed and we got situated so we could lay down, Matt turning off his bedside lamp in the process. “Tomorrow, I’m gonna take you on the best date of your life, but for now, goodnight pretty lady” “Goodnight Matt, I love you” I mumbled into his neck, feeling the sleep take over my body. “I love you too, and thank you for tonight. Now get some rest baby” was the final thing to be said before we drifted off to sleep.

All work is subject to copyright

© Daddyslilchickenfingers2 2023

Do not steal my work

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i love how fang's the only one to get an actual apology out of ed and also there's like ZERO teeth-pulling Cancelled Youtuber vibes in this apology at all bc ed apologizes to fang for something different, he apologizes for the Knife Parade game they used to play because ed genuinely didn't realize fang was terrified back then

because ed is not the kind of person to fuck with his crew like that for shits and giggles. ed doesn't want to hurt his crew. when he realizes that a game he used to play with one of his crew members scared him, he's instantly and effortlessly apologetic. and yet ed didnt give a proper apology for what he did in his kraken era yet. and that's because the kraken was something different. ed still didnt want to hurt his crew, but hurting the crew was all part of how he went about hurting himself

everything ed did from pushing lucius overboard to steering his new crew into a storm was a result of ed's hatred for himself outweighing his care for other people's wellbeing. in e10, izzy's job in the narrative is to verbalize ed's worst fears and insecurities. he pushes until ed snaps and chokes him out and then he responds to being choked out by gently stroking ed's face and telling him, "there he is." and ed believes in that moment that he is a monster, less than human, unworthy of love and joy.

so he pushes away a boat full of people who might care about him. he makes his crew miserable running raid after raid every day in a row. and the lower he gets, the more miserable he is and the more he hates himself, the more ed is willing to hurt his crew in more ways than just psychological. ed put everyone's lives at risk when he steered the ship into a storm and got rid of the wheel because that was the point when his self loathing was SO STRONG he was willing to put everyone's lives in danger in his effort to hurt himself.

and the thing is that ed doesn't need to learn that it's wrong to push his employees past their limits and create a toxic work environment, he doesn't need to learn that he can't take out his own issues on other people, he doesn't need to learn that his actions have consequences. because he knows that already. that was literally why he did it!! he was trying to PROVE he's an unlovable monster. he was trying to goad the crew into finally putting him out of his misery because he hated himself so fucking much.

and THAT. is a MUCH harder thing to apologize for. when you're still slowly unlearning that you don't deserve to be happy.

[cosmicpoutine]

i dont wanna reblog the reblog bc it bug my autism and my blog will get messier then it already is... but some of us are just autistic u know. i aint gonna learn shit from an artist making content and profiting on top of someone else's art that they're "fixing"

and i guarantee you most artists in the industry are minding their own fucking business, instead of criticizing someone elses art. and you don't have to have an impeccable anatomy and style to get a job.

my problem is not with artists trying to improve, its with people profiting off of their insecurities. that doesn't mean i think you should walk in circles with your art. there are means and resources for people to learn even more, and you can even absorb knowledge just by consuming media similar to what you create. i dont think there's right or wrong way to create art. from a stick figure to hyper realism, art is what you want it to be, and just because it doesn't fit your standards, it doesn't mean it's wrong either. this is how art styles are born.

these art youtubers could be teaching these new artists how to break down styles and study them so they can do better. but getting content submitted to you on a google form is easier i guess.

if you wanna call me a pussy for not submitting my work to get exploited by a laid off artist go ahead but I've been taking criticism from actual clients since i was 17 and my art looked like ass.

i know my account might be small, but I've been doing this for almost 10 years. i know you need resources to improve, and i also know you don't need to be exploited to improve.

[humorisstoredinthetits]

Even More Headcannons

Exactly what it sounds like

They are the house that hands out full-sized candy bars on Halloween

Mac always makes them dress up in a theme

They've done the Teletubbies, the Wizard of Oz (Duke was the Wicked Witch, she was not happy about the green makeup), The Golden Girls, the I'm In Love with the Villainess girls and her personal favorite, the South Park kids

She was Kenny, Duke was Kyle, Veronica was Stan and Chandler was Cartman

Sometimes Betty and Martha will join in on the theme

They tried to get one of them to be Noo-Noo the year they did Teletubbies but they both refused

JD swallowed his pride and went as Noo-Noo

JD hides in their bushes and scares the kids

Mac and Duke always eat too much candy and get stomachaches

Duke's snake is named Cornelius (if you get this reference you're awesome)

Chandler's cat is named Heather

She thought it would be funny (Heather Cat-ler, get it?)

Heather the cat sits atop her cat tower and hisses if anyone gets too close

But whenever Mac walks in she jumps down and starts purring

Basically she's just Chandler in cat form

Mac's Rabbit is named something cutesy like Munchkin

Catler hates the rabbit

She's just jelly that Mac isn't giving her attention

Whenever Duke annoys Veronica she'll pick her up and won't put her down

Duke is like 5'3 while Veronica is 5'11

Chandler is 5'5 and Mac is 5'9

Most people think Chandler is the tallest but its bc she always wears heels

Chandler is actually a huge scaredy-cat

She's afraid of rides at amusement parks, snakes, spiders/bugs, dogs, heights, blood, ghosts/the undead/zombies/etc., the youtube videos Veronica watches at 3am, and of course being abandoned and left alone forever but that last one is more bc of trauma than anything

She's really insecure about her fears, she's supposed to be the strong one who stares down her competition

Elaborating on the dog thing, if a dog ever comes close to her she'll scream and climb on whoever is close

JD totally has a dog but its like a golden retriever with a heart of gold named Spot and he uses it to scare Chandler

JD and Duke do chaos gremlin things together sometimes

One time they all got together and played UNO

They took all the +4 cards from the deck and hid them in their pockets and made Chandler sit between them

They would only use the +4 cards on her and she got so fucking mad

(She sat in the middle so even if things got reversed one of them could always +4 her)

Chandler may or may not have set the deck on fire

Veronica started watching One Piece and she was pretty much dead to the world for like 10 days or however long it takes to watch it all the way through

She was completely unresponsive to anything the Heathers did and it scared the hell out of them

Mac loves Pokemon and has like 10,000 plushes

Her favorites are the eeveelutions

Chandler and JD are slushy buddies and will often go to 7/11 and just talk about their trauma and shit

[mysticalsoot]

this is reality

sort of sbi au and autistic!wilbur centric fic

A/N; this took me like four days and it was simply bc I wanted to write autistic will stimming. like the whole concept was the last scene, I just got carried away with james and wilbur bestie moments

Summary; Wilbur Soot also known as Wil Gold is the lead of an up-and-coming indie rock band named Lovejoy. They've only released two EPs in 2021 and are preparing to release their next single Call Me What You Like, but Wilbur is concerned his contribution to the song is what will be their downfall.

OR; Wilbur is autistic, insecure, and anxious so he's surprised when the UK charts are released that maybe he makes good art that people love

TW; anxiety, panic, swearing and I think that's it

Characters; Wilbur, James, Ash, Tommy

Words; 5.4k

dedicated to; @loverboy-soot bc i sent him sneak peeks constantly and I have been meaning to finish and post this every day I've written on it

masterlist

my ao3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wilbur had always dreamed of having his own band, people who loved music just as he did and put as much passion and care into the music they made.

He had that now. Joe, Mark, and Ash were the best friends and bandmates he could ask for. They were passionate and creative—they put their all into their art and their dedication was beginning to pay off. There was a manageable amount of non Dream SMP or MCYT Lovenjoyers, but they were getting recognized in mainstream media more often. They’d been on the radio a few times, and they’ve trended on youtube before and they appeared on at least two Spotify-curated playlists. They weren’t big but they were becoming less and less of a silly little indie band by the day.

And Wilbur knew their next single was their big break. It would jumpstart their career further into the industry, he just knew it. Or, well, he hoped it would. There was a gnawing at his brain and his heart that their new song wasn’t all that, that he was fooling himself by believing it was their best yet. The man couldn't get his hopes up, but he also couldn't really help himself in doing so. He loved it so much, he had poured his heart into the lyrics for years, the instrumentals and melodies for the past year—it was his baby. And Call Me What You Like was the song to make or break Lovejoy’s future.

It was a few days to premiering. Wilbur stood in his bedroom pacing back and forth, gnawing at the skin around his nails which nearly drew blood. He pulled his hands away when he began tasting copper.

He tried rocking back and forth on his feet, standing on his toes, lifting himself up and then dropping to stand on his heels. Back and forth, back and forth. Over and over.

That didn't help either.

He tried flapping his hands and pacing. Squeezing his eyes open and closed.

He did everything he could to ease the anxiety that ate him from the inside out.

He rubbed his eyes with the corner of his palms until stars shown in the black of his eyes and a stinging pain appeared with it.

He groans as he kicks the corner of his bed, hissing and reaching down to grab his foot when the pain shoots up from his stubbed toes to his brain where he registers the sensation.

A silent fuck is muttered under his breath.

"Jesus, fuck!" He yells into the void of his room and throws himself down into his desk chair. He quickly clicks on the discord icon. The usual starting pop-up appears and the wumpus logo spins on the window as it loads the program.

He selects the last dm he's opened and goes to type a message; to James.

WilburSoot 7:35 PM, Today

wanna come over?

The question was simple and open-ended and it didn't require an explanation from Wilbur as the reason was probably clear. But not entirely.

James started typing moments later, he wasn't even online when Wilbur initially messaged him, but the moment the message went through, James' name shown as online. He began typing shortly after.

James 7:37, Today

yea sure. you ok tho?

Wilbur hesitated over the keyboard, chewing at the inside of his cheek as he contemplated an answer.

WilburSoot 7:38, Today

oh yeah, I'm fine man. just missed ya.

He hoped he could easily pass James' bullshit detectors, at least until he saw him face to face. It was easier to fib through a screen rather than in person. He didn't have great control over his facial expressions, he was terrible at hiding anything he felt and sometimes he wasn't even sure what he felt so expressing that was difficult. It's easier to lie anyways.

Wilbur sat in silence, opting to chew on his cuticles again as he patiently waited for a response. James began typing just before stopping again, he'd start and then stop over and over. This went on for quite a few moments and Wilbur grew more and more anxious. He wasn't sure why—James had already given his answer but watching as those three dots appeared and disappeared became just one more creature that ate at the flesh inside him.

James 7:40, Today

alright, I'll be over in 10

Wilbur sighed in relief, his hands dropping to his lap and his head hitting the back of his chair as he leans on it. He runs his hands down his face and he lets out a sound close to a laugh but it's more like a strained huff of air.

He uses his hands to push on his desk, his chair rolling backward and he stands up in a rush, hissing at the creaking sound the chair makes as it spins behind him.

I need to fix that, he notes, before hastily grabbing his phone off his bed and shuffling out of his bedroom. His overhead light was already turned off due to the horrendous sound it made. It was like a static clicking, unlike most lights and it was beyond painful. Part of him was quite thankful it was his apartment. That way he could have whatever lights he wanted off, off, and whichever ones he wanted on, on. It was a wonderful thing.

He found himself walking over to his sofa and carefully sitting on the far left side, pulling his legs to rest underneath him. He quickly unlocked his phone and began scrolling tiktok as he awaited James’ arrival.

It was what felt like much less than ten minutes later when there came a knock on wilbur’s flat door and he hopped up. Wilbur shuffled over to the door, quietly but quickly turning the door knob before opening the door to let James in.

“How are you, Wil?” The question catches Wilbur off guard and James stands in front of Wilbur, hands in his jeans pockets and eyes trained up on Wilbur.

The man shrugs, walking away from his friend but gesturing for the other man to join him on the sofa. He finds his previous spot, legs still tucked under himself. James joins him on the other side, shuffling his shoes off his feet before bringing his own legs to rest under him.

“Okay, Wilbur. Why did you ask me over?” James crosses his arms, a stern glare trained on Wilbur and he tries to meet his friend's eyes but panics and diverts his gaze on the wall behind him.

“As I said, I missed you.” He speaks plainly, doing his best to give a soft smile but seemingly failing given the breathy chuckle James gives in response.

“Hmm, like I believe that. I’m not gonna push but I know something more is going on.” James is flat with his delivery, but sincere nonetheless. Wilbur is, surprisingly, able to read the concern stitched into the expression James wears, his eyes soft as he gazes at his friend.

A comfortable silence falls upon the two and Wilbur leans his head against the back of the sofa, his own arms crossing over his chest.

“Mario Kart?” Wilbur’s question breaks the silence and James scoots off his spot on the sofa and hurries over to the tv stand, turning on Wilbur’s old Wii console and slipping in the old Mario Kart cd.

After the TV boots up, James walks back over to sit next to Wil, throwing him a Wii remote steering wheel. “I’m going to beat your ass, William.” The use of Wilbur's legal name earns a laugh from the anxious man and his friend huffs.

“I’d like to see you try.” He smiles, what he thinks is a genuine smile and he clicks through the various introduction screens. He lets James choose his character first—Wario, as always—before he chooses his own, which is always Mario. He likes it simple and predictable, Mario is just that.

The two play a game on the coconut mall map, Wilbur ahead of James—but not for long before his friend catches up to him, knocking him off course and taking his spot in first.

Wilbur grunts at his friend, using various power up's to gather momentum in order to steal his spot back. His attempts return to fruition and he yells in triumph when he passes the finish line, coming in first.

"Fucking told you!" Wilbur laughs in giddy, shaking his hands in pure joy, his eyes closed tightly and a smile wide as can be—one he knows is genuine.

"Jeez man, why are you so good at this game?" James puts his controller on the coffee table, pulling his legs up onto the sofa and resting them in front of him.

"I'm just that good." Wilbur's snarky remark earns a scoff from his friend and he rests his hands behind his head in triumph.

"You need to work on that ego of yours."

"I do *not* have an ego!" Wilbur counters, dropping his arms to cross against his chest and he exaggeratingly huffs.

"Oh like anyone would believe that!" James laughs, a soft, considerate laugh despite the joke thrown at his friend.

"Wow, such little faith." Wilbur smiles and lets a silence fall on the two, the only sound heard is James readjusting his spot on the couch, and a few sighs let out occasionally before going to scroll Twitter on his phone.

Wilbur fiddles with his hands, looking over at James before going to stand and pace again, he tries to be subtle about it, avoiding the attention of his friend. He tries all of his common coping stims, handshakes, bouncing on his feet, rolling on his feet, tapping his fingers, etc. Doing anything he can to cope with the anxiety that was deciding to reappear again. He keeps his eyes on the carpet below him, spinning on his heels to walk the other way when he gets too close to the wall.

James watches Wilbur, eyeing him and his pacing. Wilbur doesnt notice the eyes on him, and James is thankful for that as he sifts his mind for any reason for Wilbur’s current panicked state. He knows something is up and wrong but he’s sure he won’t get an answer out of the man no matter how hard he tries. He would love to be able to guess Wilbur’s reasoning for his panic, but he isn’t telepathic and he can barely understand his own reasoning, let alone another person’s reasoning. James hesitates, he opens his mouth to speak but shuts it closed a moment later. He averts his gaze back down to the phone in hand, mindlessly going through whatever fiery chaos that was his timeline.

He tries his best to keep his gaze off Wilbur, and it worked for the most part but it eventually got to the point his worry outweighed his desire to stay unnoticed. James watched as his friend continued pacing, tapping his fingers or shaking his hands. Wilbur was nervous but James couldn't pinpoint why.

He makes an attempt, "Wil, are you alright?"

Wilbur's head shoots up and his eyes dart to James focused on his forehead but giving the impression he's making eye contact. He's not.

Wilbur hesitates, going to say something when the words lodge themselves in his throat. He nods.

James goes to stand, walking to where Wilbur is frozen in place. He rests his hands on his friend's shoulders. "You can tell me, I know you're not."

"I'm- I'm fine." Wilbur manages to stutter out, wiggling his fingers in another attempt at calming himself. It doesn't work either.

James looks at him with a stern glare, not one of any malice but one of intense care for the other. 

"Wilbur." He warns, unwavering in his attempts at calming the other.

Wilbur shakes his head, eyes focused on the fibers of his carpet, and he's glad it's soft.

"I said I'm fine, James. Okay?" His tone is sharp, and he knows how mean it sounds but he doesn't mean it that way and James knows that.

James keeps his gaze on his friend, squeezing his shoulders in reassurance and Wilbur attempts to meet his gaze. 

It's a few moments before Wilbur cracks, the realization that James isn't letting this go—that James cares—seeps into his mind and he lets down his wall.

"I'm anxious, very anxious. Scared even, I think." Wilbur's voice is small, and it's shaky. "I'm scared that the song isn't as good as we think, that it'll ruin our careers or that it just won't land right, and that all our hard work will be for nothing because I ruined it all."

"Woah, woah, woah. Where is all this coming from? You have the fanbase you do, because you're talented, because Lovejoy is talented. The song is amazing, you've heard it from everyone and their mothers and you wouldn't if it wasn't true." James pauses, taking a moment to think of what he should say next, his hands still resting on Wilbur's shoulders to keep his friend's attention. "It is going to put Lovejoy on the map. I know it."

Wilbur shakes his head, eyes focused downwards. "But it could be what lights us in flames too."

James laughs, a lighthearted and bright laugh, "You really think that?" Wilbur nods. "Man, you are so wrong."

Wilbur looks up, head tilted and eyebrows knitted in confusion. Big brown eyes wide with fear.

"You're seriously the most talented person out there, anything you make either on your own or with people will be and is amazing. Don't undersell yourself, Wil." James lets his hands fall from his friend's shoulders and he holds his arms open, inviting Wilbur for a hug. "Hug?"

Wilbur nods and takes up his offer, wrapping his arms around the slightly shorter man and resting his forehead on his shoulder. "Thank you," Wilbur mutters, the fabric of James' jacket muffling the sound.

"It's what friends are for." James pulls away and so does Wilbur. "Wanna watch a movie to get your mind off of it?"

Wilbur smiles softly, nodding, "That sounds great. Popcorn?" James nods and Wilbur swiftly leaves the sitting room to head into the kitchen moments later.

"What d'ya want to watch?" James calls from the TV, voice echoing through the walls.

"Anything but Marvel."

"Aw man, I was gonna put on the new ant man movie!" James laughs, and Wilbur does too, readjusting his attention to the popcorn he threw in the microwave. 

"Very funny, James!" Wilbur calls back, chuckling to himself as the microwave beeps. He takes the package of popped popcorn and hisses when he burns his fingers, shaking them in the air and blowing on them as if it would help the pain. He rushes to pull open the paper bag when doing so he pours out the contents into a turquoise bowl, his favorite but James doesn't need to know that.

He takes the bowl into the living room after discarding the popcorn bag into the trash. He holds up the bowl, greeting James.

"I grabbed your weighted blanket, by the way, hope that's okay." James gives a soft but nervous smile to Wilbur and he smiles wide in return, nodding enthusiastically.

"Thank you," He mumbles in response, his smile warm and thankful.

James widens his own smile in return, "I was afraid it wouldn't be, it's over on your spot." He points over to the far left side of the sofa—it may be Wilbur's sofa but he has a tendency to lean more towards sitting on the far left side. It's just a habit, and he's grown to dislike breaking it. 

He walks over to his spot, sitting down just as he did before with his legs tucked under him. He still holds the popcorn bowl and he hands it over to James when said friend finds his spot next to him.

"We could watch Hamilton," Wilbur suggests, head turning to look towards James. He makes eye contact briefly but feels that same uncomfortable panic and averts his gaze again.

"Really, Wilbur?" James' tone is playful, and you can see through his eyes that he's seriously considering it, and the pout Wilbur puts on only makes his case clearer. "Okay, Hamilton it is." James then throws the remote to Wilbur and he catches it immediately. There's a soft, warm smile graced upon James' lips and he crosses his arms over his chest in contentment.

It's a few moments before Wilbur finds Hamilton on Disney+ and selects play, but the moment it begins, his eyes are glued to the screen. He barely touches the popcorn he made as he feels the anxiety drain from him and his body finally feels relaxed. Maybe it's his weighted blanket or his comfort media that helped, but he considers it and believes that maybe it was James. His words and his presence helped calm Wilbur.

It's silent between the two for the next three hours, Wilbur's attention barely staying from the musical playing before him. James notices the silent happy stims Wilbur begins to do, small, soft handshakes or rocking side to side. His smile is wide and James is happy, he's happy he was the one to help and he is beyond glad he was the one Wilbur reached out to.

He knows why Wilbur was upset, why he was anxious and pacing his flat. The anxious thoughts got to his friend, dug into him deep, and began tearing him apart one by one. Something about Wilbur thinking of going to James first for something so stressful and serious—even if he avoided speaking about it at first—was reassuring, or calming to know. He's important to Wilbur just as much as Wilbur is to James. 

Everyone deserves a James, and everyone deserves a Wilbur.

Someone who knows you'll be there for them, someone who will find what would make you most comfortable and help you, who will sit with you in silence and simply be in your presence and enjoy it.

This was nice, this was good. And James was happy.

There was a moment of contemplation after the musical had ended on whether James should leave or not. Part of him wanted to stay so he could be sure Wilbur's anxiety wouldn't kick back up and eat him alive, but the other part of him knew he had to get back to Aria and Otto. He loved Wilbur, he was his best friend, but he also knew Wilbur may not handle him staying the night, and he was okay with that.

"I think I'm gonna head home for the night. You'll be okay?" James began to get up off the sofa, throwing on his jacket that he discarded on the chair, his gaze locked on Wilbur. He had his legs pulled up against his chest and his eyes were locked on the floor.

He nods, "Yeah, I'll be fine..You go home." His tone was flat, and it made James unsure in his decision. He bit the inside of his cheek as he paused, standing frozen as he gazes down at his friend who seemed to fall back into the pit of panic.

"Are you sure?" James is keen on being fully sure it's okay to leave Wilbur alone.

Wilbur looks up and gives a soft—masked—smile, "Yeah, of course...Go home to your family."

James rolls his eyes and laughs, "Otto is a cat."

"He's still family, isn't he?" Wilbur inquires, his tone light and playful now.

James groans and smiles, and then turns to leave for the door. "I'm a text or call away, remember that." And then he heads out the door, softly closing it behind him and then he's out of Wilbur's sight and earshot.

Wilbur shakes his head and rests his head against his knees, doing his best to calm his breathing. He decides to put Hamilton back on, maybe it'll help again.

And so he spends the rest of the night like this, head rested on his knees, arms wrapped around his legs, and the comfort of Hamilton playing in the background. Eventually, he sleeps.

                                                     —★—

It's days later and mere hours to the release of Call Me What You Like. He's sniffly and truly feels like shit with his head feeling like it was stuffed with cotton and his body being dredged in slime.

It's a horrible gross feeling and he really wishes he didn't go talk to fans after their gig this past Saturday. It's by no means their fault, he just has the worst and weakest immune system known to man—and he knows it.

He was pacing again, the skin around his nails raw and bleeding. He didn't have enough self-restraint so his coping mechanisms today were more self-destructive than usual or than they should be.

The rest of the band had been talking in the group chat all day and he had ignored every message, their positive outlook only made things worse. It really should be what makes it better but their hope for everything to go well and their seeming knowledge of it doing so, dragged him down and only fed the negative thoughts. 

It would only crash and burn because of him, not because of the others, so it made since they had a positive outlook. If it burned it wouldn't be their fault by any means.

His pacing only got worse, and he started to pull at his hair. It was an hour to midnight, hes been avoiding Twitter or any other social platform that would tell him what people thought all day. The Australian fans had already listened to it since it's realized at midnight on your local time—but he was too scared to see what they had to say. So he had all of his devices turned off or facing down. 

He didn't want to know, he was too scared to know.

He eventually tired himself out and ended up laying on the floor, blood still flowing with panic. His phone went off at exactly midnight and he waited a few minutes before opening his phone, only to be flooded with oceans of messages from his friends and fans. His friends asked if he was okay, and they seemed worried and concerned—they already heard the song so they didn't have much to congratulate him on. The messages, indirects, and mentions online from his fans were all messages of care and congratulations. Expressing their love for the new song and the new sound—they seemed to believe it was a masterpiece. Some people even used that word.

The flow of words upon his screen took him aback. He wasn't sure how to process all of the positive messages, and he was sure this was a dream. I mean, it had to be. How could so many people love the song so much, so soon? 

Maybe it was because the words he was seeing were from his already existing fanbase—the people who are devoted to Lovejoy and wouldn't switch their opinion over one song. It wasn't a sound comparison is what his brain told him. So surely, in the next few days, it'll crash and burn.

He didn't have much longer to sink into his anxious thoughts, as Ash was quick to call him. Wilbur hesitated before picking up and bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey," His voice cracked from the lack of use and he dug his hand into the carpet, grabbing at the fibers.

"Well, hello, Wilbur." Ash's voice was joyful, and bright, a very large contrast to how Wilbur felt or sounded. "Have you seen what people are saying? They love it!!" He's so quick to enthusiasm, his voice pitching up towards the end and he lets out a joyful laugh.

Wilbur smiles softly at his friend's reaction, but is still hesitant to believe it to be the truth, "Yeah, yeah I saw some of that." He pauses, breath catching in his throat as he mulls over his next action. "Are they lying, though? I mean they're the ones that have been here ages—they could actually hate it and just say they like it." Wilbur's voice is low and quiet, only audible to the man on the other end of the line.

Ash sighs and lets out a breathy chuckle, "It's the internet, Wil. They'd be brutally honest if it was bad." 

Wilbur shakes his head, "But they're our fans, they could lie to save our feelings." 

"Dude, you're one of my closest friends and I would hate to hurt your feelings—but you sound like an idiot right now." Wilbur can hear Ash's smile through his words, it's playful in the way he says it.

"I'm sure I do—" He cuts himself off, running his free hand through his hair in a stressed motion. He's at a loss for words, he doesn't know what to say anymore, so he just falls from where he stands, sitting with his legs forward on the floor. 

"They love it, Wilbur. And you're part of the reason why." Ash is genuine in the way he reassures Wilbur, he means it just as much as he believes it himself.

Wilbur shrugs, and he feels the anxiety gnawing at his insides again. "You think so?"

"I know so."

"I'm sorry." 

"What the hell are you apologizing for?" Ash sounds almost offended at Wilbur's words like he just insulted Ash's firstborn child.

"For being a bother? Or for possibly ruining our career." His voice has gone small again, almost mirroring his attempt at curling in on himself, making him seem smaller.

"You're never a bother—and if anything you're the reason we're even here in the first place. Give yourself some more goddamn credit." Ash isn't harsh with his delivery, but stern. And caring—he means well.

"Sorry again," Wilbur replies sheepishly, regretting opening up about his doubts in the first place. He really feels like a burden now, and it's far from Ash's fault.

"Do I need to ban that word?" Ash laughs, and Wilbur can hear the smile through his words and he smiles back.

"No, no, I won't say it anymore. Promise." Wilbur reassures, his smile is unwavering but still small and soft.

"By the way, I was calling to ask if you wanted to come over to mine tomorrow? Joe and Mark are gonna be there too. We're celebrating Call Me What You Like, we tried texting you—" Ash begins but Wilbur is quick to cut him off.

"I'd love to, I'm sorry about ignoring my phone—it was just too hard." Wilbur nervously admits, scratching the back of his neck.

"Yeah, no, I understand. Don't worry, dude. See you at 11?" Wilbur nods and then shortly replies verbally when he realizes Ash can't see him.

The embarrassment bubbles up in his throat but he pushes it down and hurriedly says his goodbyes to Ash. When they've bid their farewells and he's hung up the phone, he heads to his room—deciding sleep is the next thing he should do. He needs much more of it than he's been getting, especially in his ill state. He's not contagious but he notes it as a valid excuse in case he chickens out the next day before he goes over to see his bandmates.

He's more afraid of bringing them down than seeing them. He'd hate to be the reason they feel bad about the song.

                                                                    —★—

It's been a week since their new single was released, they've been on the radio even more than before, they've announced and sold out an entire tour and the love they've received on it has been absolutely mind-boggling. Wilbur's anxieties over it have practically dissipated entirely, besides the nagging thoughts in the back of his mind about the album—but it's far too early to worry about that. Right now, Wilbur was alone in his flat yet again, patiently waiting for the UK Top 40 charts to release. A few hours prior he posted a video asking everyone to stream CMWYL in hopes they can get a spot on the charts—it'll help get them noticed by important music executives but also reassure him that it's actually good, they wouldn't stream it if it wasn't, right? He didn't mention or consciously realize the second reason, but it was all the same in how prominent of a thought it was.

A few minutes from now and he'll find out statistically how much of a success CMWYL is. Sitting at his desk and refreshing the chart's website is probably not the best option for his anxiety—but he still does it nonetheless. He patiently sits there as he awaits the release of the UK charts. I mean he has nothing better to do at the moment, he's off and he's enjoying his free time just the way he wants.

He's nervously tapping his fingers on his free hand while his knees bounce in the usual gnawing anxiety that he holds. He keeps refreshing the page as he waits for that one moment of truth.

His eyes burn from staring at the screen so long, especially without blinking, and he contemplates taking a break for a moment but then reminds himself why he's doing this in the first place.

After a few more refreshes and the charts are released, he scrolls down the list of songs and artists. He's beginning to get disappointed when he gets into the 20s, but he's soon surprised when he gets to the #32 spot.

Call Me What You Like by Lovejoy is #32 on the UK Charts.

He practically leaps up out of his desk chair when he realizes what he's read. He can't quite tell if the wetness on his cheek is tears of joy or from his eyes watering from yawning and holding his eyes open for hours on end. But he doesn't care, his silly little band has made it. Or, well, it's starting to make it. It's just the first step to becoming known and loved, they can finally get their art out into mainstream media, with new people. They can share their passion with more people.

He's ecstatic, flapping his hands and bouncing around his bedroom floor. It's finally happened. Lovejoy is going to be the indie rock band. And he helped.

Oh my god, he helped!

He goes to rock on his feet as he thinks about what he should do next—obviously, he needs to tweet to thank everyone—should he call his brother? Or maybe his dad, or mum even. He isn't sure where to start first but he seems to go into autopilot as he makes the tweet, taking a photo of him pointing at the computer screen and then another of him flipping out, a blurred and chaotic photo if we're entirely honest. He then texts the LVJY text chat, telling them and showing them photos of it and sending links with it as proof.

And then he calls Tommy, the call is immediately picked up on the other end, a gruff and very Tommy-like hello being muttered on the other end.

"Toms! We're #32 on the charts!" Wilbur exclaims all in one breath, smiling so wide his face hurts and he's giggling from joy. He still bounces on his feet but his hand flapping has died down a little. He spins and jumps around and hopes to God his downstairs neighbors aren't home to be upset at him.

"Really?? Dude, I'm so proud of you!" Tommy replies, and Wilbur is taken aback by how out of character that is—but he takes it, he takes it and he runs with it. His little brother is proud of him.

"Yeah! Yeah! We're finally on the charts man!" His voice is so bright and excited and Tommy laughs at the excitement his big brother exudes.

“You wanna go out and celebrate tomorrow?” Tommy poses the suggestion, voice poking up at the end.

Wilbur quickly nods, “Yeah, of course! Sorry for calling so late by the way--I had to tell someone.” He lets out a small laugh at his own words.

“Glad it was me, big bro.” Tommy’s response and nickname for Wilbur aren't unusual but he can't help from wanting to pick on the younger boy but decides against it.

“Thank you, Toms. I’m gonna head to bed, see you tomorrow?” Wilbur shuffles over to sit on the edge of his bed. 

“Yeah, I’ll text you the plans! Sleep well, bitch.” Tommy lets out an airy laugh and Wilbur mirrors it in response to Tommy being so Tommy.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Love you.”

They bid their final farewells and Wilbur gets up and puts his phone on charge, and then slips into bed.

They’ve finally made it, and it was because of him and his talent. Turns out that anxious thoughts aren't that reliable.

[thecoolerliauditore]

Yeaaaah ccMartyn will say the saddest stuff in stream from time to time. And i m not even talking being open about insecurities he once dropped the "my family has a rare genetic disease and until i discovered i hadn t inherited it 2 years ago I thought I would die in my 40s and even now i can t get out of that mindset bc i went to lots of funerals as a kid" bomb live, that was fucked up

jesus christ.

that's actually smth I thought abt recently how different it is with CCs like Martyn, Ren and Doc who tend to be very open abt their lives including the very shitty real parts. cannot get over the whiplash doc's twt gave me once where he was doing his usual supervillian schtick and snuck in a tweet in the middle abt his dad being a piece of work and then went straight back to threatening to destroy the world.

compared to a lot of other youtubers who are very much more guarded abt their personal lives (etho, bigb) or do share personal stuff but thru a very guarded social media-y lens (scott)

I can't quite say I appreciate it because I can also appreciate knowing ur limits as a creator and not oversharing with ur audience but. I do find it very refreshing and endearing how honest they are. Ren's hermitcraft s9 video "the wave" had me staring at a wall afterwards

[solar-halos]

do u ever think about the way olivia rodrigo invented music

just kidding i know the emotions she sings about have existed since the beginning of time but im just now realizing that if i was born in the taylor swift era i would 100% be a swiftie bc i was thinking abt olivia rodrigo’s music the other day and unironically had the thought “wow she literally invented having emotions” before i managed to catch myself. but honestly i think it’s crazy how accurately she captures all these feelings of insecurity and heartbreak (and now joy!) so perfectly!!

“lacy” and “pretty isn’t pretty” seem so similar on the surface, but i feel like lacy is more of a gradual realization that no matter what u do—or how ur actually perceived—you will never feel as feminine as u want to. there will always be people (aka Lacy) who are gonna be effortlessly elegant and beautiful and feminine and feeling jealous of that is so fuckin stupid but that doesn’t stop u from caring. and then i like “pretty isn’t pretty” bc i feel like that’s the aftermath of Lacy. idk the part abt her trying every shade of lipstick really hit bc when i was first experimenting w makeup i remember feeling so insecure that none of them seemed “my” color. also i really like the gradual buildup of “it’s in my phone/head/magazines/the boys i bring to bed” bc i feel like that describes the pipeline so well

anyway now let’s get into the new songs she released. i’m actually not sure if they’re new bc when i searched it up after it popped up on my spotify google said she released this back in 2023? so idk. but her youtube channel literally has this all released within the last few days. but my favorite thing about these songs is how im in the same era she’s in rn. that happened to me with “sour” and “guts” reopened a lot of those old wounds, so i absolutely love the healing theme (? i know that’s not the right word but it’s hard to think rn) this album has. let’s start off with obsessed since that popped up for me first

obsessed? yeah, obsessed with this fucking song. seriously. “if you knew how much i thought about her you’d think i was in love” already starting off on a banger. also i watched the mv and i loved it. this song literally couldn’t have came at a more perfect time, yall ever just randomly remember that ur s/o has dated ppl that aren’t u before? chilling realization, really

scared of my guitar? “i can’t lie to it the same way i like to you”? “i lay in your arms and pretend that it’s love”? “i’d rather be tied to someone even if they’re wrong”? oh my god. i was literally thinking about this the other day. like, being in a relationship bc u want to be or if it’s bc you’re scared of being by yourself. and i also like the fact that it’s insinuating that the other person is the better half. bc sometimes it does feel like literally just loving someone when you struggle so much with the thoughts i mentioned is just the same as stringing them along. but then also i think it’s nice to pretend you’re in love bc obviously at the beginning of a relationship you have no idea if it’s ever going to go that far, so i think we often fall in love with the idea of being loved. which sounds a bit corny when i put it like that, but scared of my guitar made *me* feel like a tortured poet bc i used to be like “im chill ! :o)” and then open up ao3 and write a billy taupe/lucy gray story like girl…. that’s not the same as olivia rodrigo being folksy and cute

speaking of being folksy and cute, “girl i’ve always been” is so folksy and cute! i literally hate country music so fucking much (i’m sorry… one time this guy in hs played God’s Country in front of the class for a presentation and he stood there kinda ominously so ever since then i’ve kinda hated it) but this song was nice i liked it! i like the confidence it exudes, someone already mentioned this in the comments but it really is giving off lucy gray vibes, especially “with venom on my tongue u ask me who i’ve become” like okayyy someone needs to write a billy taupe/ lucy gray inspired story abt that line immediately. i don’t really have much more to say since this one was the one i found the least personally relatable, but i love the sassiness of it all!!

stranger. this one was a FUCKING banger, this was the sort of era i was in when guts released so im so glad miss olivia rodrigo could put the feeling of realizing u don’t *need* someone u thought u literally couldn’t live without into words. “i always thought it was some comforting lie ppl told” literally. also the call back to “enough for you” by saying “if im not enough for you then you’re not enough for me either” :,). i think growing up is quite nice

so american. fav! <3 <3 <3. “he’s like a poem i wish i wrote” hands down my favorite lyric fucking ever. i LOVE this song. like i said with “lacy” and “pretty isn’t pretty” bleeding into each other, i think the same applies w this song and “scared of my guitar.” like after u get over ur fear of ur guitar u realize that ur so american and suddenly wanting to get married and be in love doesn’t seem so selfish anymore. i really, really love this song (if i haven’t already mentioned that)

sorry, i know this was a long post! stranger had me bursting into tears so i told Boyfriend i needed to write in my “notes app” abt it so everyone say hi Boyfriend. but seriously im feeling so american rn i literally was like “leave me alone and don’t touch me im feeling explosively emotional” and he was like ok! here’s some fruit. and then now im writing on my phone about songs i love. like is there any better feeling??

[theliterarywolf]

Anonymous Submitted...

Honestly kinda wanna see more people talk about the CC thing with a focus on the victims, bc rn it’s like 5 vids on youtube and they’re kinda short and it feels like you already need to know a bit to understand, esp abt goodreads.

Additionally, since some people still argue about WHO she targeted, I hope some channel literally just does a play by play, and not only clearly states “Bitch do you see they’re all Asian, black, etc authors??? But also goes all: DO YOU SEE??? I WANT A VID THAT FOCUSES ON THE VICTIMS!!! You can’t fight the facts when they have a face, even when you try to ignore the name.

Like, a nice video that gives all these authors who were victims of her insecure petty jealousy a face and name (if wanted) and presenting their books, their summaries, when and where the books release, while just dropping every fucking bomb on CC for it. Scorch the earth. 🔥🔥🔥

(I’m just so fucking over petty bitches going after people because their insecure asses can’t handle not all attention being on them.)

(I have looked at the docs and it took me a bit too long to figure out what patterns I was looking for and I still struggle since I don’t use goodreads. Would be nice if someone could explain it for ppl like me, especially if she also targetted released books? Because I did see some bombed released books across the accounts but that could have been "coinkidink” ((I believe the fuck not, but prove me wrong. Still won’t apologise.).)

I think it would be good for someone like Xiran Jay Zhao (I know they have a lot on their plate with their upcoming book release, but they were one of the first people to talk about the situation) to organize a collaborative video with the authors who were effected and people who have suffered from CC’s nonsense in both the past and present. Like, for example, the poor cover artist who is out royalties because of this shitshow. 

I think XJZ would be good to organize it, though, because they had a successful similar production with the huge critique collab for Raya and the Last Dragon that they organized with several Southeast-Asian creators.

[heliographe]

hey, dream fans. dream fan here.

i dont use twt, i dont rlly follow any people who cover drama and so i found out ab the grooming allegations from the people i do follow vague posting ab it. which-- alr, im writing this just to vent and ill probably delete it later so here we go

im a bit annoyed at many peoples-- fans of dream-- response to this. a lot of its emotional, people being devastated by the news that a cc theyre so attached to is potentially a pedo. like yeah, fuck, that is pretty upsetting on its own. but where is the logic . the critical thinking. come on, people. you are capable of it. ive seen how capable you are.

now. to be fair a lot of the ppl i follow are young and very emotionally invested in this man and use twitter, and if i know anything about the damn internet its that twitter is some kind of fuckin virus. its emotionally draining, it is practically made for going after your sensitivities and insecurities and hopes and fears and all that shit.

the second i figured out the entire situation , i knew it wasnt true. dream is not a damn pedo, or a groomer, or whatever stupid big trigger word theyre throwing at him. and its simple why i know, why its so goddamn obvious.

its DREAM. and i say this with full confidence bc ive heard him talk. about his aspirations , his mistakes, his feelings, ive seen him act it out. weve seen it.

he lives with two extremely close and clearly stable, smart friends. he has many other friends who vouch for him, who have shown integrity and intelligence in their own right.

groomers are idiots. pedos are sick. there are reasons they are like that. dream is neither. he has so many good supports in his life, hes had rough patches as any young and learning and growing person would and he has SHOWN that hes learning and figuring shit out and hes progressing so well, listening and caring and again, its literally visible . the way he speaks ab things, the actions he takes.

i get how important that whole "listen to the victim" shit is, but god. that doesnt mean entirely fucking discard the evidence of innocence on one side of the accusations. take a step back from twitters poisonous moral fear mongering, take a step back from any emotional investment or parasocial feelings you have for dream. look at his behaviour objectively. hes not a villain, hes not a bad guy, hes not a stupid one, hes not the type of person who would do anything like that.

dont doubt what youve seen from this stupid fucking idiot minecraft youtuber. theres a reason you get so attached to him in the first place . hes genuine, hes easy to love because of it.

on the other side of this. the people accusing him very obviously have a malicious agenda. doing this at the height of his popularity, right after he face revealed and is getting ready to do entirely new content ? the wording they use ? god, its so cancel culture it hurts. fuck off with that shit. its disgusting how many times people try and spin popular ccs into pedos and how many fans fall for it bc theyre so scared its true. shut up your fear and think. i say this with a polite tone, bc i am too annoyed to be gentle.

take care of yourselves. please remember to think outside of twitter culture. form your own opinion, and when you do please try and consider things objectively and as critically as possible. twitter culture is a fucking curse.

[ryansjane]

axelle judges bl shows >  My School President

/!\ SPOILERS AHEAD

summary: Tinn has been crushing on Gun for over two years, and decides that senior year is the year he needs to make a move. For that, he becomes the school’s student body president in an effort to help Gun’s music club avoid cancellation.

where to watch: youtube

grade: 8,5/10

pros:

- this show manages to take a very basic story that honestly shouldn’t have lasted more than one episode, and develop it in an endearing, quirky and very interesting direction through its writing. the writing of the show gives so much care to the characters and their feelings, and treats them in honestly such a rare way with making tinngun experience a lot of obstacles with maturity but never break up, as well as giving all the side characters a lot more love than usual. this really took the show from what could’ve been extremely forgettable & seen 50 times before plot, to truly one of the best bls in a while!

- similarly, there’s so much care put into the show: the original soundtrack is really great and the fact that the opening credits changed every 3 episodes to indicate changes in the story & characters was SUCH a good idea! you can tell the creators of the show really put so much effort & thought into it & imo it more than paid off!

- the characters are amazing. I gotta talk about my boi tinn bc he has everything of the “perfect & boring bl love interest” which is a trope I’ve criticized where the love interest is handsome, smart, talented, rich, has everything going on for himself except for a personality, which makes half of a ship so fucking boring in bl shows, but here my boi tinn is my literal fucking fave bc we get to see so much of his point of view. we see him freak out about his crush, be shy, be awkward, etc. but we also see that his family life & the pressure put on him is real, which adds layer to his character. as for gun, he’s equally as amazing, and so much of the show allows him to explore his feelings which makes him such a relatable character. sound is also another fave of mine, he has a great character development just like win, tiw is literally an iconic friend & deffo the mvp of this show, yo got a good storyline about insecurity, and por & phat were adorable and completed the team well. I literally fell in love with this group of friends so much & they absolutely carried the show!

- the acting & chemistry, man. so as you might know already, I’m a hater LMAO. I don’t like new pairings easily at all, especially when it contains both new actors I’ve never seen before. but when I say fourth & gemini stunned me, I really mean it. first of all they have an insanely natural chemistry that really puts a lot of more experienced pairings to shame lol, and it’s the same for satang & winny who play winsound and literally stole the show for me! I swear I started by rolling my eyes at the possibility of winsound & then I got converted real quick LMAO. but apart from that, the acting is just so fucking GOOD. fourth shined the most for me, he brings a vulnerability to his character that is very impressive for his age, but gemini also did an amazing job showing the complexities of tinn. satang also impressed me greatly, this boy has amazing heart eyes & also displays a lot of vulnerability, I hope to see more of him! but honestly everyone did a great job & really sold their characters to me <3

- I feel like what makes this show special is that it doesn’t stay surface level at all. when the guys lose hot wave, another show would show them being disappointed & depressed for one episode and move on, but msp went further by having them internalize their feelings & then ultimately fight once they can’t contain it anymore. them blaming each other then crying & apologizing is honestly one of my favorite scenes of the show?? it was such a real scene that was FELT, and also a great display of friendship there. another good example is the fear of coming out & the wish to hide their relationship, as well as the homophobia experienced by tinngun in the last episode. another show would’ve likely completely skipped through that & showed tinngun accepted by all without batting an eye, but instead by showing tinn’s mother’s uneasiness around her son dating a guy, and that asshole teacher being a complete homophobic dick who thinks he’s in the right, or even those teachers who shook their heads at tinngun being cute at prom, it all felt more realistic & added layers to the show and their relationship where it’s not all sunshine & rainbows, yet they still stay strong & support each other. all of these moments really add a lot of depth & importance to the show, and also strengthen the characters & their relationships a whole lot.

- the pace is also perfect to make it a super entertaining show & I never felt bored for even one minute!

cons:

- as quirky & fun & entertaining as this show was, it is still pretty basic in most of its storylines: gun’s mom being sick, the guys losing hot wave, tinngun’s relationship leaking online... and like honestly that doesn’t take any of my enjoyment of the show away so who cares, but it does keep me from grading this show any higher. yes I literally have nothing else to put in the cons LMAO

would I rewatch it: absolutely! it joined my comfort shows list <3

I expected this show to give me sorta love sick vibes (one of my fave comfort shows), but I didn’t expect it to be a more updated version of a just as healthy couple as phunnoh, giving me a just as vibrant & enjoyable high school slice of life that I love so much. I literally fell in love with this show, man. it was entertaining, and endearing, and honestly it became an instant favorite. I couldn’t recommend it more!

[yaminerua]

I am genuinely always going to be salty that my family gave me shit for Years for not knowing how to cook or clean properly when literally nobody ever taught me. To this fucking day they’ve never shown me how to do this or that.

I can cook some things because some friends helped get me started and then YouTube videos expanded upon that but none of that help came from my family and yet they gave me so much shit for not cooking, or they ridiculed me when I did actually try and did it wrong bc I didn’t know the right way bc again no one fucking showed me

my mum never showed me how to maintain a house and keep it clean and tidy, or to cook any of the meals she made, and when she got more affected by her alcoholism the chance of being taught lessened and then she left and I expected dad at least to teach me something but he didn’t know that much himself and what he did know he didn’t have the time or executive function to actually carry out.

So the house fell into a state of cluttered chaos it has never quite recovered from but I’m trying to work my way through it all to make it better bit by bit.

and for food back then we had to rely on my granny bc my dad couldn’t really cook and with my mum not around my granny stepped in to fill that gap but like. I still never got shown anything.

I guess she never realised that with my mum as she was I wouldn’t have been taught anything so all it would have taken would have been ‘hey come see how I make this big meal and help me out with it’ or ‘hey give me a hand with cleaning the house, I’ll show you what to do.’ And I’d have learnt by seeing and doing and gentle guidance. Instead of developing a massive insecurity about being stupid and useless and incapable of simple tasks.

that’s all it would have taken and instead I’d had to turn to YouTube to teach me. Everything I can do now I owe largely to strangers on YouTube and yet even still because of the berating and ridicule I had for years from my family my default assumption about new tasks or skills is that I can’t do it. That I’m stupid for not just being able to know how to do it and it fucks me up.

and not a single one of them acknowledges that maybe they never gave me a chance. Man…

[trixstriforce]

hello :) i saw your posts about lu and idk if you were gauging interest in people hearing your opinions. personally i would be super interested in reading what specifically about every lu character is ooc! i am similarly frustrated with the current dominance of lu characterizations in fandom as a ww fan. ive been following for a while i just logged into this side account because i am scared to ask on main :( i hope you do not mind the somewhat bare blog. thank you!

oh my god oh my god oh my god someone wants my opinion??? do u wanna make out???? u do not understand the power u r giving me rn u do not understand how annoying and nitpicky and very passionate i can get specifically about lu bc i care so much about link its unreal and also bc i just like things like linkedmaze, dimensional links, and minaslinkverse better characterization wise bc to me they have shown the "found family links meeting up" thing a lotttt better than lu when i still read it

but to be fair i STOPPED reading around the part where four split due to the way the lu community reacting to the person with DID, a very stigmatized disorder who genuinely just wanted Jojo to acknowledge they messed up in the past and present and didnt like the vauge ass apology she gave making me actually disgusted. ppl talk about accountability then rallied against 1 tumblr user who was uncomfortable bc ppl liked Jojo's comic so she doesnt have to explain that now she respects nonbinary ppl and understands how past things were wrong for her to say we just infer this bc lu good :/ like hey maybe Jojo owned up to it afterwards or something bc she made 2 apologies that would make a YouTuber blush so i was done w/ the community and it was only rlly after that and after i played a few of the actual games + read some mangas i realized wow actually i do not like lu as much as i thoguht i did they butchered my boy, also i feel i should say it literally wouldnt matter to me do what u want in ur au but lu is now a fandom of its own and its influenced a lot of other aus and interpretations of link so i do take issue w/ how ooc these guys end up being

OK HERE R THE MOST BASIC ISSUES W/OUT GETTING INTO EACH LINK RN:

for one i dont know for me having link as a secret hoarder who would rather DIE than use the full scope of his abilities around OTHER HEROS is just no bc thats fucking stupid levels of wanting to appear normal around OTHER HEROS possiblly the ONLY other ppl to ever understand what u r going through

for me having every single link act like a frat boy/standard teenage white boy who is emotionally constipated is a no??? have u SEEN link he is so sociable and kind and understanding to other ppl WHY r the links like this, so many fics just...make them stew in their issues for angst and not trust the others and be incredibly insecure about the other heros(which is lu canon for at least hyrule and wind i think?) and like ok that is definitely fine for 1 link but why r they all like this in the games link is clearly not like that he wouldn't be this closed off and wouldn't hesitate so much like my dude he just inserts himself into other ppl's lives to make them better than leaves he wouldn't pussyfoot around other heros like what

also another major issue is the mergings just lead to certain characterizations or important backstory for certain links(FOUR. LEGEND.) being completely erased and the nuance of their journeys lost like when u merge links who r canonically 100s of years apart not just in the timeline but in the GAMES? yeah u lose things that make that link special

also bc u mentioned wind waker i found it kinda fucked up that wind waker link was delegated to The Kid TM even tho his entire journey was about moving on from the past to a brighter future and he took on the mantle left behind by the hero of time on his own volition and did what Time COULDN'T do which is kill Ganon but he is constantly underestimated and made into the Kid Who Wants Approval trope specifically around Time which sucks ass ngl he deserves to be an equal him still being a kid while the others got to grow up, including Four who's first journey arguably would have been a better fit for this archtype of wide eyed kid, is just side lining one of the most interesting links especially considering most of the other links were YOUNGER than him when they started

this is all general stuff plus 1 of my issues w/ Wind bc ur a Wind Waker fan bc as a Spirit Track fan i feel a kinship, im gonna make another post for specifically each link breaking down my issues w/ how they r portrayed later bc rn it is 8am and i ment to just say haha ty for the permission but then my inner ranter came out i am INCAPABLE of being normal about lu especially after i actually experienced zelda games bc lu was my FIRST introduction to zelda outside of smash bros lol

toast if u r reading this say rip to ur dms bc i am once more gonna talk to u about a comic for a videogame franchise u only know about due to my rambles and forcing u at gunpoint to learn about link...godspeed comrade

[sexynetra]

couldn't be any more random but likeee do u have any anarcia hcs bc they've taken over my life

BOY DO I okay strap in party people it’s time for anarcia headcanons part deux :)

Anetra has always been kind of insecure about the scar on her eye, and tries to cover it with makeup a lot but because of the spot it’s in and how big it is it’s hard to fully conceal. Marcia on the other hand thinks it’s part of what makes Anetra Anetra and also wants her girlfriend to fully love everything about herself, so she’s the one who suggested that she start painting the scar beautiful colors when she does her makeup and making it a beautiful highlight instead of something she feels like she should hide. Her personal favorite is when she does glitter. Anetra wasn’t sold at first but when she saw how happy it made Marcia she started to do it more and more and it honestly did help her confidence a lot and she loves the colorful accent now too!

Marcia can dance like nobody’s business, but she’s also clumsy as hell, which Anetra always teases her for but is also there to catch her and give her kisses to distract her (though Anetra loves to wear super high heels so half the time if Marcia goes tumbling and Anetra tries to catch her, they’re both going down)

You know those videos on TikTok and YouTube of people sewing like gorgeous princess ball gowns? Yeah, Anetra makes those for Marcia because she knows Marcia loves to feel like a real life Disney princess, and also she just thinks her girlfriend looks gorgeous in them. Marcia, in turn, helps Anetra make her dance costumes and cute club wear cause she knows that’s what Anetra feels the most beautiful and confident in. Every once in a while she’ll make her a gorgeous elegant gown though and they’ll go out for a fancy dinner date in their extravagant handmade dresses, looking 1000x hotter than any other couple in the place.

This one is courtesy of my friend! Marcia loves to play little jokes on their friends due to Anetras RBF. She’ll tell people that Anetras upset about something, or doesn’t like something and they always believe her cause Anetra absolutely looks like she is in a shit mood if she doesn’t actively think about her face, and then when people bring it up to Anetra she’s always very confused where people are getting that idea from. Clearly Marcia likes to be a brat sometime am I right ladies ;)

I personally believe that, like me, Anetra is a big fucking baby when she’s sick, and Marcia is low key a hypochondriac but only about Anetra cause she gets so worried seeing someone she loves so much not feel good, but she takes such good care of her and goes absolute mother mode. But it took Anetra a long time into their relationship to accept the help cause she isn’t used to being taken care of like that and she is more used to just curling up under the covers and whining about how bad she feels until it passes on it’s own. Marcia simply won’t let that stand and goes the whole 9 yards: soup, meds, cold compresses, shoulder rubs, even helping her shower (albeit they shower together most of the time anyways so this isn’t particularly novel)

As with before, my head is teeming with so many thoughts about this duo, especially after rabidly consuming any content I can find where they interact (they looked at each other once in a clip at the reunion and my friend immediately went omg Rachel look! Inspiration for your fanfic! So shoutouts to her tbh), and I love sharing my silly little headcanons that I hope you all love too 🥺 feel free to message me or reply with any thoughts on these ideas or any headcanons of your own!!!