#be right back currently crying
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92 Thoughts I Had While Watching: A Royal Affair (2012)
Guess I’m learning Danish now.
I have a bad feeling about this ending.
Been engaged since she was a child, eh?
Oh, some of it’s in English.
Hiding behind a tree? How old are you, 12?
A little socially awkward, but he’s trying, I guess.
Isn’t he your cousin?
The town’s a bit of a fixer upper.
Aww, doggo! Doggos make everything better.
Oh, no. Politicians.
Okay, apparently she’s the Queen Dowager.
Books under Danish censorship? Guess I’d better throw mine out.
Girl! You’ve barely known him for a day!
And she plays piano, too? I say she’s a keeper.
What? You don’t like it?!
“Move your fat little thighs?” ~ An actual quote.
“Oh, so you humiliate me and now you wanna--?” ~ Caroline, probably.
And next thing you know, he’s with someone else. Figures.
And she’s pregnant.
“A true queen delivers with silence and dignity.” ~ An actual quote.
“ARE YOU PUSHING THIS BABY OUT? I DON’T THINK SO!” ~ Caroline, definitely.
Wait, as soon as she gives birth, you leave for a year? Nice. *eye roll*
Apparently believing in equal rights is wrong.
You don't need a doctor, eh? Good sir. Your mood swings say otherwise.
How to earn my trust and friendship: quote books.
Yes, make sure the dog is taken care of.
The dress she's wearing looks like Elizabeth Swann's.
“You want them to cheer or you'll jump in the canal? Okay, who's stopping ya?” ~ Johann, maybe.
The king published a poem about the size of someone's derriere? M’kay.
Look, in his defence, I'd be crazy signing papers all day, too.
Hi. The only word I understood.
Taking a detour, are we, your majesty?
She's not your mother! If she were, she would slap you.
Fencing? This just got interesting.
Forget Grey’s Anatomy. There’s a hot doctor right here.
Yes, my mood definitely needs improving. *wink wink*
And you share a love of books and travelling the world? Soulmates!
That awkward moment when you take your patient riding in the country air and you see a dead man on a wooden horse.
I think if an expert in the field suggests something, like, say, a cure for a deadly disease, you'd do well to hear him out.
So the cure worked and you need to administer it in hospitals but you're all worried about money?
Sitting on a bench together unchaperoned while talking about life. Very romantic.
‘Two bros, one in a bathtub, and one sitting down, cause they're not gay.’
You don't want your town smelling like waste? Seems like a good law.
Making doggo an honorary member of the council? Again, good idea.
Boy, I wish they still had balls and galas nowadays.
The. Flirting!! The. Eye. Contact.
They were worried about the age difference. Where is it? I don’t see one.
She wants you to come to her chambers? For what – oh. OH!!!
Wow, that was…. okay. I need some water, stat!
They want Smallpox inoculation? Carriages to drive people who've had too much to drink? A home for orphaned children? Better treatment for peasants? Honestly, these are perfectly reasonable laws, so why are the council rejecting them?
Of course they want to conspire against the doctor because he has good ideas and because he's German? I didn’t think that sort of thing started for a few more centuries.
Yes! Good for you for standing up for yourself and your friend.
Um, you're just gonna smell the sheets? Not what I would do, but sure, whatever.
A new TLC show: I'm Pregnant With the King's Physician's Baby.
Hide the evidence by sleeping with him. Good plan, other than he doesn't like sleeping with her because of….er…issues.
Hey, Alexa: Play Tango de Roxanne.
Oh, so there is a problem with money. I thought it was an excuse.
Of course the Dowager thinks something's up. And of course the maid who smelled the sheets is going to tell on them.
Baby's coming!!!
“We’re a family now.” ~ Caroline, actually.
*Hits stop* Aww, what a great movie! Time to --
Oh, no. There’s more. *sighs and sits down again.*
No one’s gonna take the child. This isn’t The Light Between Oceans.
Yes, Your Majesty, you should stay in the castle until the fire dies down.
A little boy who escaped a Dutch Trade ship? I forgot it was this time.
The people are suggesting he’s poisoning the king? What do they know?
Poor woman hasn’t slept in days, but
Awww, he’s going to take care of her.
ALRIGHT, I SEE THE MADS APPEAL NOW!
YOU TOOK A BLOOD SAMPLE OF HIS - UH, YOUR DAUGHTER?
YES! Protective Mama Bear mode activated!!
Family dinner, yay.
So we’re all hugs now? Great.
Lady, you’re taking this way out of hand.
Now everyone wants Johann dead? *groans*
The king may be immature, but he won’t betray his friend.
Don’t listen to them, no one’s planning on murdering you!
Hold on, Isn’t that Johann’s friend who’s telling him?
Yes, come bang on the door and scare the baby, why don’t ya?
Caroline crying makes me wanna give her a hug.
She’ll never see her son again?
So torturing a man for days will get you the answers?
The king wants to pardon you.
PLEASE LET THIS ENDING BE HAPPY!
Or not. *cue ugly crying*
EXCUSE ME! DID YOU JUST CALL THE BOY THE ‘N’ WORD?!
Have I ever told you how much I wanna slap you?
What do you mean you’ll see her again soon?
GREAT, SHE’S DYING, TOO! *More crying*
The son inherited his father’s temper? Oh, goodie.
Then again, he was old enough to remember what happened, so I guess I can’t blame him for being angry and hurt.
The laws were reinstated? Good.
Well, that certainly was a roller coaster! Probably should have stuck with the happy ending, but I was feeling bold today. Bad decision, me thinks.
#a royal affair#mads mikkelsen#alicia vikander#be right back currently crying#caroline matilda of great britain#johann struensee
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I think JJK going on break after the last chapter is a bit cruel. This is nerve-wracking. We still have 3 chapters left and so many things can happen there. 268 feels too good to be true and the title is weird.
I'm not sure what is the right translation and I don't have access to raws. Right now, it's 268 title is "Finale" or "Conclusion" but I heard from someone that it can be also be read as "Curtains".
If it can be read as "Curtains", then it could be a reference to "final curtains". The problem is JJK has its own version of "Curtains", right? Idk what to think.
Gosh I wish it was “Curtains”. The chapter title is 決着 (Kecchaku) which means settlement/conclusion/end.
For example, at the end of an extremely brutal fight in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Jolyne screams “Kechakuuuuuuu!” (決着ゥゥーーーッ!!) (It's actually a small Jojo meme in the JP fandom.) This got translated as "Game set!"
I love the localization they used for this since that entire battle was like struggling in arcade mode for a fighting game.
Anyways, in the context of JJK, especially since this has been a literal Sukuna Gauntlet and the previous chapter had the “Ringing the bell on a long fight.” editor’s comment, I don’t think there’s an ambiguous way to read Kecchaku. The Curtain/Veil kanji in JJK is 帳 (Tobari). (Though if there’s some fancy wordplay I’m missing please let me know.)
However…I would kneel before Gege if this was an elaborate trick by Sukuna—him giving Yuji delusions of a happy ending only to yank it away last second. It’s very hard to make characters feel familiar but slightly off on purpose for misdirection. That kind of tonal control is something I praise Umineko for. (Dungeon Meshi does it excellently for the shapeshifter scene.)
But that is pure copium I think. Sometimes otherwise good media just fumbles the endings. (Not an example of good media, but I was around for the Secret BBC Sherlock Season 4 Ending meltdown so I’m not too hopeful about a turnaround.) I personally blame the JP work culture/crunch since a lot of modern mangas have rushed endings due to burnout/unfair contracts.
I think the most heartbreaking examples of this phenomenon for me are The Owl House and Moral Orel. Those shows still stick the landing imo, but the creators are very open about how studio interference forced them to condense everything. You can feel that suffocation in the final episodes. Everything is just slightly off and you know it would be better if the creators were allowed their breathing room.
#Things that shouldn’t have activated my Jojo sleeper knowledge.#Moral Orel is really good btw. If you were raised Protestant it will come for your throat.#I never thought a little white boy would have my exact religious trauma.#But yeah. Everything is too happy right now. After getting through something that traumatic you don’t just bounce back instantly.#None of these kids were taught how to grieve properly. So them acting like the fight did nothing to them is…not something I like.#The tone should be more bittersweet not. ''Our sensei died violently for our sake lmao!''#This is something Yuji would feel guilty for. Both him and Nobara would cry a bit. Megumi would be trying to bottle it up.#I can say that with confidence because that's how they've handled previous deaths.#Yuji cried over transfigured humans ffs. Like why aren't these deaths upsetting him? (It would make sense if Gojo+Higu were alive though.)#The light novels did a much better job of the trio trying to be goofy through the pain.#You can tell they’re struggling but they still chase joy.#That’s a reason why JJK connects so well with me. Despite all the trauma they can still strive for a different kind of happiness.#This current tone is more like. ''Look you can just quickly get over it with the right mindset and go back to the way things were!''#Which completely contradicts the themes/characterization. And the massive tonal dissonance that creates... It has to be a fake out.#Or it’s just what happens when you crunch a creator. Guess we’ll see.#jjk 268#jjk spoilers#asks#jujutsu kaisen#jjk asks
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*smacks Draxum* this bad boy can fit so much angst and despair
#tmnt#rottmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt baron draxum#rottmnt draxum#baron draxum#draxum#I’m making myself cry currently 🥲#this is what happens when I can’t go back to sleep#I do not want to believe he just blindly believed the supposed prophecy right away#100% something had to have happened to him personally#or to someone he cares about 🙃
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I have had this show as my main hyperfixation for 4+ months and I have not finished it and I don’t know if I ever will </3 I do not handle sad media well and I was not aware it was a tragedy going in until I was much too deep in to get out 💀 for a while it straight up negatively affected my mental health lol. look I do love the ending and I think it was very well written and just ough…. very good but also damn. damn I wish it had a happy ending
TBH that’s why I’m not listening to protocol either. At least not yet, bc I like the open ending of tma bc I can pretend that they’re happy somewhere else and I don’t want that to be proven wrong :’’’) no amount of fanfiction can fill the gaping void in my heart…… why doesn’t my mental illness induced apathy extend to fiction too istg I would enjoy so many things so much more if I didn’t get horribly depressed by them 💀I get that some people like that but I’m not one of them…. Alas this is nothing new. I always get hyperfixated on tragic stories despite being the #1 happy ending enjoyer, why does this keep happening
anyways that one dream sweet in sea major animatic and that one animation of last words made me lose my shit. go watch those lol this fandom scares me but god if it doesn’t have the coolest animatics ever <33
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#anon you are so real. gods strongest soldier#ive had this special interest for over a year i dont think its going anywhere#the closest you get is it getting overshadowed by other fixations but this obsession is very persistent and ik the moment i lose interest#in my current obsession im running right back to tma LMAOOOO#AND GOD I LOVE THE DREAM SWEET IN SEA MAJOR ANIMATION SM OMLLL that and home is so good made me cry ngl lol#magpod#tma#the magnus archives#magpod confession
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my mother is going in for a big surgery tomorrow and im!!!
trying to be normal about it and not freak but i am anyways because that's who i am baby!!!!!!!!!
Im the worlds biggest worry wart!!!
worlds biggest bubble blowin baby out here!!!!!!!
#this is the second time my mother has had cancer and needed extreme surgery to remove it!!!! it fucking came back!!!!!!!! Fuck cancer!!!!!#im such a HUGE bundle of nerves right now and keep switching between being Hyper GOGOGOG and like. freaking out crying so!!11#RAAAAAAAAAAAAA FIREBALL ATTACK!!!!!!🔥🔥🔥 🔥🔥🔥#there are other complications and i just ougggh i just hgggg im just HGJSHGKJHDGKDKGHG GOING INSANE I DONT HANDLE THIS WELL#the first time this happened I didnt really have friends at all so they didnt have to deal with me so i was a fucking freak in private#so personal shoutout to all my current friends dealing with me as i go absolutely insane because I AM!!! I AM GOING INSANE!!!!!#personal#negative#on No Reblogs because why would i want my paranoia spread in such a manner gkshgskjgskjg#im just so tired and im so worried and i just wanna curl up in a ball and sob about it in all honesty
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#currently on the worst road trip of my whole entire life! well. i don't want to jinx it lmao but#today i popped TWO TIRES at once in the middle of the Katy Freeway in Houston TX (the widest highway in the US; 26 lanes btw)#managed to make it over to the shoulder without DYING but then had to sit there for like an hour? and panic called a tow truck because duh#I know how to change a tire but I was – again – sitting on the shoulder of the widest freeway on the continent so#anyway I called a tow; a guy showed up. I assumed it was the tow! turned out it was not. but he helped me put on the spare and then was lik#“follow me to my shop I can do the tires for you” and I was like okay! 👍 but then the ACTUAL tow called me and I realized this was#just a random guy (very nice up to that point but then I got scared about following him to a secondary location?) and so I didn't lmao#I just kept driving and didn't follow him but the guy on the phone was then mad at me because I wasn't where I said I would be because#AGAIN – I thought the original guy WAS the tow company that I called? but anyway guy 2 on the phone was like “YOU OWE ME $200!!!!”#and I said for what? also how would I pay you? and he tried to get me to cash app him lmao?? I didn't. I hung up on him#he called me like 6 more times yelling at me until I finally just blocked his number 💀#however NOW at this point I'm driving on one spare tire and one rapidly-flattening second tire and I still have 3 hours left to get where#I was going for the night and to top it all off I'm in the middle of a city I've only been to one time before? so I manage to get to a hote#like a nice-ish one where I'm like “okay if I get stuck here this won't be the end of the world”#because keep in mind today is a national holiday so basically everything is closed!!!! btw!!!!!#but eventually I'm sitting there and it's literally 100F outside and I remember oh right lol I have car insurance which pays for a tow#(a normal one; not a random one I panic-found on google who calls me screaming at me to cash app him $200)#so anyway I call my insurance and the guy on the phone is very nice and is like “it's okay; we'll have someone to you in 45 min”#and I'm like okay. OKAY. 🙌💪 I am a strong independent woman who is figuring this out and no longer on the side of the highway#but instead in a nice calm neighborhood and all I have to do is wait 45 min and everything will be okay#one hour goes by. I call back. get redirected to the tow company that was dispatched. guy says oh! is my guy not there yet?#I say no. he says okay – I'll have him call you. hangs up.#okay. 20 more min go by. guy finally calls me. says “I'm 20-25 min away” at this point I've been waiting about an hour and a half#I say. okay? okay. 30 more minutes go by. I try to call the guy back. straight to voicemail. three more calls. three more no answers.#I call my insurance back. sit on hold for 15 min. eventually get put through to a different person who's like “okay let me check on him”#get put on hold. eventually she comes back and says “okay he says 15 minutes” I've been waiting over 2 hours at this point. I have to PEE#I just... burst into tears. on the phone with this poor random woman from Geico Insurance. I'm bawling my eyes out.#she was trying to get claim info from me but I'm crying so hard she's like “oh baby no. okay. okay. we can get that from you tomorrow.”#when you cry so hard that even the insurance company is like “you know what we're just going to let this one slide”#anyway guy eventually shows up. he's very nice even though I hate him a little for being so late. he drives me to an OPEN TIRE SHOP
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🫣 just a tiny peek
Guess who?
#Astria's doodles#unfinished!!!#shading makes me cry#my skills in digital art is saur rusty#wait— is rusty the right word?#fan art#mashle#currently taking a break#my back hurts
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TOWER OF DAWN SPOILER ALERT
OH MY WORD
ITS LYSANDRAS FATHER isn’t it
Update:
OH MY WORD IT IS
Updated Update: OH MY WORD I HAD IT WRONG HES HER… UNCLE??
But still…
Wait… Does that mean her father’s alive??
I can’t keep track of the updates but I’m pretty sure Nesryn just put the pieces together and almost said it
Mostly just my mind is blown twice in less than 2 chapters… I have no coherency… just… wow
#spoiler alert#Tower of Dawn#first read#currently reading#no spoilers please#read with me#reading reacts#Falkan#I just want them all to meet#and then realize how Aelin brought them together#Lysandra Ennar#living for that moment#the fortune all of it for her gonna go cry now#Will they ever know#I NEED THEM TO KNOW AND LIVE AND MEET#THE FULL CIRCLE OF TAB#ITS GOTTA BE#edit: update I WAS RIGHT ITS HIM#WHAT A SMALL BIG FICTIONAL WORLD WE HAVE#Nesryn babe your the new story keeper so please live cause this is crucial info babes#wait does that mean Lysandra would have the possibility of knowing who she was what she looked like or anything little by knowing her dad#he’d be so proud of our lil sea dragon#lol when Nesryn puts the pieces together WOW#also casually gonna throw in there Sartaqs I love you#and ya know Maeve’s backstory Chaol and Yrene just got together oh and did I mention Nesryn is the best#this posts updates are chaos#me totally crying because just like Aelin when she learned Lysandra and Wesley and Ansel tried to come for her in Endovier and now Lysandra#will get to see the same thing not only those that already call her family Rowan defending his sister Aelin coming back for her but someone#that’s always been waiting for her searching for her trying to make sure she’d have a life for herself#Chapter 50
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Hi im back . For some time
#.mimiming ❜#um . hi im gonna slee soon but i missed you all so much#umm first of all im trying to ccut down in screentime because my therapist told me to#second. after two or three months of convincing myself that i literally do not care im only going to school for just a few more days (onl#y today and wednesday) i literally do not care#i almost keep crying . because well um#idk. i was originally planning on cutting off contact with everyone#because of stuff thats happened before#but my friends. my current friends dont just treat me as a therapist or something so#also one of my wives would probably hunt me down and kill me if i tried to cut off contact#but ill still miss this stupid class and this stupid school and all the stupid teachers and students#and the horrible tasting canteen food#and the playground ive played in eight times total despite being here for 12 years#idk man#also because of my periods my mood swings were so much worse#and i just ..idk i needed a break ig#anyways im back for sometime then ill start looking for a job#me friend said maybe we can do something together#idk#you can always send me asks and dms tho 👍👍#im not really sure . like about anything right now#ill try to get the drawing requests done soon maybe#wild how time passes huh#god i need to stop acting like such a grownup im literally three years old
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its me and my inability to compromise against the world
#i hate it when plans are changed i fucking hate it so much#i desperately need to rant about this im having an awful time ..Augh#my dad lost his job and is selling his house. we have at MOST 3 weeks to get out of here#so wrre moving to the house next to my moms. my grandpa owned b4 he died. HOWEVER#i hate that house its dirty as hell. i cant live with my mom theres barely 2 rooms there and i currently sleep on a couch in the living roo#there are 3(?) bedrooms where my dad is moving and they are SIGNIFICANTLY smaller than. literally everything#so well have. not a lot of space. not to mention that all the rooms are shaped so fucking weird. shitty old house bonus#literally everything has the fucking landlord special cause my mom used to rent it except all of the tennants were jerks#so the house has A Vibe. /neg. and its a weird combo of dustu and sticky#Im getting off topic.#i was allowed to choose my room a while back and we all agreed on everything and made plans and thought everything was set in stone#the room i was supposed to get is small asf and has slanted walls. (attic room ig) but it was fine#but my mom was like noo! actually! your older brother is getting that room! we never agreed on anything!!#whicj is AWFUL#i HATE CHANGE#AND. i wish you could see the room im supposed to have now but im at My dad's rn#its so fucking small. the water heater is in there. there's a low hanging fucking duct pipe or whatever right by the door#its pink#it smells like shit#ots right next to the washer and dryer.#there is no light. i hate it so much#ITS SMALL. AND JUST FUCKING SUCKS#i might sound like a dick but everything is so stressful rn i dont want to move school starts in 2 weeks i dont know my schedule i don't#have anyone to talk to. we're all fucking broke as hell and my mom refuses to help my dad because. i dont even know why#sorry. btw#i need someone to talk to so bad#they won't get me a therapist because 1 its not covered by insurance and 2 my dad lost his job and said insurance#i can't get a job because i can't drive and am so mentally fucked up and its so hard for me to do literally anything#i cry at the most insignificant situations and im always on the verge of tears#i get overstimulated so easy i can't fucking do this
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It’s incredible, every time I think I can’t feel worse, I suddenly do
#i should keep my mouth shut#god I just started feeling a little better if I start thinking about it now I’ll go right back to where I was#it’s so weird that if I’m at my (current) absolute lowest I can’t cry#i just have to sit and stew in it#THAT is why people off themselves#or at least why I’ll end up killing myself#partially#partially why#i can’t make myself feel better#there is literally no way I can think of#it’s been like this all day
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Working on two fics atm. One is angsty and dark and the other is some real nasty kinky shit, like there's literally no in between when it comes to me writing
#My Spirk WIP is crying in the corner rn#Only two chapters to finish but I'm just too deep in the Joshler sauce#I'll get back to it eventually thought like I always go back to Star Trek every few months or so#I'm also writing while having a real bad Maladaptive Daydreaming moment#Aaand working on my portfolio so I can leave my current shitty job#It seems my mind doesn't want to stop#Certainly that will have no consequences whatsoever#Right?#Sosme
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actually nvm im not emo anymore 🤧
#will i ever be truly content with the ending ? no 💀 but ! everyone looks so cute nd im happy that my fav freaks are able to be silly :p#i have mixed feelings on chifuyu narrating this chapter tho lmao 😭😭#i mean its great that he somehow remembers everything that michi went through nd their friendship wasnt lost#BUT I CANT GET OVER THAT LIKE. ONE TAKEHINA KISS PANEL AND ITS JUST HIS UGLY CRYING FACE AT THE BOTTOM 😭😭#i kinda love that for him tho like shit make their day all about yourself king#i wouldn't have taken the whole takehina ending seriously either way#tokrev aint even about them at this point its about the collection of freaks takemichi collected along the way 😭#what other thoughts can i put out there...#omg sanzu being an influencer is such a slay. i love how he looks exactly the same as he did in the bonten timeline#he just slays online now instead of yknow with a katana in real life !#kazus adorable. izanas adorable#I LOVE THAT SOUTH IS JUST THERE. IDK HOW THEY MET IN THIS TIMELINE BUT FUCK IT YEAH HES INVITED WHY NOT#seeing timeskip mikey again just confirms my initial feelings towards manila mikey which is that he was ugly 😭#IDK THE SHORT HAIR DOESNT SUIT HIM IMO 😭 I WAS HOPING THAT WAKUI WOULD GIVE HIM A NEW HAIRCUT THAT WE HAVENT SEEN BEFORE#its ok tho im happy that hes actually happy ! and that the future he wanted with emma and draken and their baby came true 🥲#WAHH THAT TOO 😭 THE FACT THAT THEYRE MARRIED AND EMMA IS PREGNANT WITH THEIR FIRST CHILD LITERALLY SOBBING 😭#its what theyve deserved this whole time !!!!#what wakui did to naoto was a crime tho 😭 why does he look like thatttt#bring back detective naoto 😭 current naoto looks more homeless than takemichi that doesnt sit right with me 😭#im rocking with long hair hanma. shuji just some guy hanma 💀#wakui making mikey looking at takemichi like that the opening panel like we know what they are 🙄 just had to remind us#thats all i think... its finally over 😭 i may have my grudges but i truly loved reading this weekly for over a year it was so much fun 💗
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it’s finally getting cold enough that i can bring my cardigan collection back into rotation without feeling like i’m gonna melt into a puddle the second i step outside!!!
#Seven.txt#my face#i have rematerialized back out of the void to once again make my once-in-a-blue-moon selfie & life update post#i’m running on 4 hours of restless sleep and the single banana i ate for lunch earlier today. let’s do this#hrrrrg i hate the lighting in my bathroom but i refuse to take pictures in the absolute Mental Illness Disaster Zone™️ that is my bedroom#anyways. got diagnosed with Mystery Pain Syndrome at the dentist today. so now i take ✨steroids✨#the less funny explanation is that my tooth still hurts with pressure nearly a month post-root canal and That’s Not Good#so we’re trying some new medications to see if that fixes it. and if not then who knows. root canal pt.2 the sequel. or extraction. sigh#and so the Dental Saga continues. todays visit went quite well in spite of the unforeseen mystery pain delaying the tooth-shaving plans#we had some time to kill so he managed to fill some of my other tiny cavities while i was there today so that’s good#okay moving on. what else. uhh. OH they finally came out and ran the fiber to the house last week!!! now i’m just waiting on one more-#-guy to come and finish the interior install and the long awaited fast internet will finally be mine eheheheheeeee#now i can feel my hours upon hours of unedited gameplay footage breathing down my neck :)#man i’ve got so much stuff piled up right now. i’m drowning in Tasks and it’s a lil overwhelming but i’ll handle it all! eventually#uhhhhm my current writing project is coming along well! i’ve never put so much time and effort into a oneshot before in my life#its a labor of love though and i think i’m gonna be really proud of myself (and the fic) once it’s complete#even if no one reads it bc it’s so goddamn self indulgent and kinda lowkey throws canon out the window but like. fuck it!#if i want Astarion to write a song on piano and perform it for me while mentally taking me on a trip down memory lane. then so be it#fr though i’ve never written anything quite like this and i rlly want to do it justice. even if its unrealistic i still want it to be Good#in other news i received word that one of the chickens i sponsor at my local Gentle Barn has passed away so i had a lil cry abt that#i feel so bad for his little tiny chicken wife. they obviously loved each other and it’s like. so sad when one half of an old couple dies#like. she pulled him out of his depression after his 1st wife died. now who’s gonna be there to pull Her out…#anyways let’s not get all sad about that again. in happier news my cat who i presumed died/got killed has returned home uninjured!!!#after that huge stray dog chased her into the woods i thought we’d never find or see her again#but then the morning after i started grieving her she showed back up hungry as hell yet completely unharmed like the enigma that she is#so that’s one definite highlight from earlier this month. uhh what else. rapid fire summary of the past few weeks let’s go-#Jersey turned 10! Bullet turned 10! my 6 year Veganniversary happened! i’m approaching 700 days on DuoLingo!#i’ve written more than 20 thousand words! i’ve been facing some fears! fighting my OCD! taking care of myself! (kinda!)#anyways things are far from being all sunshine and roses around here but i’m trying to focus on the good stuff for the most part#for now tho i have a headache and have reached 30 tags so it’s time to go shovel some mashed potatoes into my mouth :)
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New/old video of JEREMY IRONS and SINÉAD CUSACK at the premiere of The Man in the Iron Mask in Leicester Square, London, March 1998.
#touching each other in every possible way behind their backs I AM GOING MAD#I am very sorry for whoever came before them because to me they invented being in love. like.#nobody else was ever in love before these two met. ever.#I know I am right#jeremy irons#sinead cusack#sinéad cusack#lunts of oxfordshire#I am the woman on the right in the first gif crying and screaming 'please'#(also on a side note: I am currently obsessed with their reading of eliot's the wasteland which just got uploaded on youtube)#(I waited eight! months! for it and it was worth it my god)
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Me when I’m not anxious at all about anything especially not traveling or not being home or being around strangers or going to a new airport or not being in control of the schedule or not having immediate access to my safe foods or not seeing funk and I’m definitely not anxious about being in new places and meeting new people and animals and having to be a person while trying to balance my emotions out enough that I don’t bring every conversation down while simultaneously only thinking about saying the wrong thing and bringing the conversation down
#and I’m definitely not afraid at all about how I haven’t told Millie about my current shitty mental health or the plans for an intensive#program and I feel like I might not say anything and I’ll feel bad later but like gahhh I just don’t want to be a bummer for once in my#fucking life I want to shove down all the sad depressing nothingness in me and try to be bubbly happy excited the whole time#who knows how it’s gonna go AND THAT THOUGHT DOESNT MAKE ME WANT TO THROW UP#IM EXCITED FOR THIS AND I DONT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT NOT GOING YO SEE MY DADS PARENTS EVEN THOUGH MY GRANDFATHER IS DYING AND IT DOESNT MAKE ME#FEEL SICK OR HAVE A HARD TIME BREATHING OR TYPING THIS IS ALL FINE I LIVE TRAVELING I LOVE FEELING LIKE IM NOT IN CHARGE OF ANYTHING AHAHAHA#AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHH THIS IS FINNNEEEEEE IM FINEEEEE THIS IS GREAT IM NOT GONNA FREAK OUT TO THE POINT OF NOT BEING ABLE TO SLEEP AT ALL#AND IM DEFINITELY NOT GONNA END UP AWAKE FOR TWO FULL DAYS 🫠#screaming crying throwing up and you can’t smoke weed on a plane. fuck my life bro.#bring back smoking on planes PLEASE#stoner plane even the pilots high fuck it we all wanna smoke and and watch the world be tiny below us right that’s what google maps is for#I feel like I’m doing this life thing wrong.
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