#because WoL needs to be a face of hope and inspiration

[autumnslance]

I really appreciate Gulool Ja Ja as a ruler, a father, and a hero in his own right. There were concerns about why the Scions, as outsiders, would be participating in a contest of succession, and everything we learn about Gulool Ja Ja's younger years, and his reasons for the Rite of Succession, neatly addresses that.

As a much younger man, Dad^2 traveled the lands of Tural with his own diverse group of comrades, from all races and walks of life. From Kettenramm as the foreigner, to Cahciua the long-lived Shetona wilderness expert, to Pelupelu and Yok Huy, to Hanu and Xbraal; especially given the animosity between some of those clans at that time.

And along the way, Gulool Ja Ja learned how much stronger they were together. Alone he is a formidable champion, but even Blessed Siblings can't do it all. He also learned about the diverse peoples and cultures of his homeland. It's not so far off from the Warrior of Light's journey; traveling with competent heroic companions as we adventured through the 3 Continents and lands beyond them for so long, loving people and places we found along the way.

But Gulool Ja Ja also became Dawnservant, and now as his years catch up to him, a new ruler must be found. And it's in the conversation after dueling the WoL that he bluntly states his reasoning, speaking to them as a peer:

Even this early in the contest, you must have realized…As potential rulers, all four claimants are lacking. This is why I elected to hold the rite of succession─not to choose a fitting candidate, but to cultivate one. And if no one has impressed me by the end of it, then to no one will I yield my throne. As a parent, I pray that my children rise to the occasion…With outsiders dragged into my game, I am also hopeful that the different perspectives you and your companions have to offer will inspire them to grow. I imagine you in particular have traveled many lands. Known many peoples and cultures─loved them and been loved in turn. Guide Lamaty'i as you think best. Walk at her side and, when needed, push her to walk ahead. Watch over her, champion. Koana's recruits are no less sharp─as one might expect of Galuf's countrymen. They saw the flaws in our claimants from the outset. The other two, though… They dismiss comrades willing to point out their shortcomings, and no good can come of it…

Emphasis mine.

We see this too, in the interludes to Team Second Promise, as Thancred and Urianger turn on their own Dad Skills and gently guide Koana toward his own realization: that innovation is all well and good, but so is taking into account the traditions and needs of his people. As he watches his sister's growth, and how the people love and trust her to respect their ways of life, to help them because it's the right thing to do.

And Wuk Lamat learns and grows, gaining confidence, learning when to rely on her comrades, how and when to face a challenge on her own. The Wuk Lamat after level 96 is a different woman than the girl we met in Sharlayan. She's not done growing and learning, not in so short a time, but the cultivation Gulool Ja Ja put in place succeeds in her and Koana--because they are willing to learn, and listen, and love.

The other two claimants, as Dad^2 noted, don't understand the reasons for the Rite, for the methods the electors choose, or what the Dawnservant is looking for. And they refuse to entertain perspectives that would attempt to point that out, surrounded by sycophants and cronies.

Bakool Ja Ja doesn't learn the same lessons, though he comes around; he was never shown kindness and understanding, never asked what HE wanted, until Wuk Lamat demands he say it out loud. His growth is a surprising one, and along a trajectory he could never have imagined.

And Zarool Ja...his arc is a negative one, and a tragedy of his own making. He works as an antagonist because his fall is entirely avoidable, but utterly inevitable. It didn't have to be this way, yet there's no other way it could go. He internalized all the pressure and potential, all the comparisons, until it ate him alive.

This is a story about the complicated politics and demands of leading countries, of there being no easy answer to peace even when you wish there was. But it's more a story about family, and legacy, and honoring the past while striving to build a better future.

The Warrior of Light sees their own story reflected in Gulool Ja Ja's history, and in the shaping of Wuk Lamat. To fulfill their love of adventure and exploration, but from a new perspective. And taking all that experience and skill and applying it in a slightly different way, though perhaps not so different from some previous side and job quests where we help others and introduce them to friends so they can continue to grow and help themselves after WoL's moved on.

Hydaelyn's brave little spark has long been a beacon of hope for others to follow. As inheritor to the Shepherd of the Stars, the WoL takes steps toward shaping their legacy, still an active participant, but also seeing how those other stars might shine, and like Gulool Ja Ja, finding that some of those stars need a nudge to find their own glowing potential.

[nintando64]

Rambling about the Endwalker MSQ

So, having given it a couple months to settle in, I generally think the Endwalker MSQ was the best thing the game has accomplished to date. I love almost every single direction they went with and all the twists and turns. Beautiful, love it, great way to end the first saga.

But I have one issue with it, and I will be rambling about that for an unspecified amount of time below the cut. Spoilers abound, You have been warned.

Lyse should have gone to Ultima Thule with us, and it is such a missed opportunity and a sore point for me personally as a Gridania starter that she didn't.

During Friends Gathered, one of the first cutscenes involves the WoL, Y'shtola, Urianger, and Thancred having a wonderful lunch. Where we all muse about the past, the forming of the Scions (then the circle of knowing), how we've changed throughout the journey, and the plans for once we all get back from Ultima Thule and disbanding the Scions. This is a neat moment for those that started in Limsa and Ul'Dah. Not because of any specific dialogue changes, but just because at the end, you're chatting and being friendly with the person who scouted you and introduced you to the Scions (Y'shtola for Limsa starters, and Thancred for Ul'dah starters).

But Gridanian starters lose out on that vibe. Urianger wasn't in Gridania, he was too busy in the basement of the Waking Sands being Balthier. No, we were introduced to the Scions through Lyse (then Yda) and Papalymo. And they aren't around anymore. We don't get to face the end with those who were our beginning.

And like, I get why Lyse didn't stay on as a Scion, both in the Watsonian sense and the Doylist sense. Thats not what I think should have happened. But to make this moment work more, and to allow for more of an exploration and reflection of the WoL's beginning with the Scions, Lyse should have been allowed to come back for one last run, one last Adventure with the Warrior of Light. Whether she does it for you, for herself, or for Papalymo, she should have been able to come back for this last mission.

And you honestly don't need to change much of Ultima Thule to include her. Because she fits nicely into the first part with the despair of the Dragons. A broken people who lost a war and were conquered by a seemingly oppressive military force. Who would have been a good candidate to use their Dynamis to oppose that despair and inspire hope? The person who united a broken people who lost a war and were conquered by a seemingly oppressive military force. Combine that with Estiniens existing "You're a dragon, be fucking dragons" speech and bada bing bada boom, Lyse contributes to Ultima Thule in a neat and meaningful way without too much effort.

And I think that would have made everything else... better. Lyse moving on to focus on Ala Mhigo, being written out of the plot. Being able to have her come back proper for the grand finale would have been the icing on the cake.

I also just like Lyse. I'm a certified Lyse Enjoyer and Stormblood Enjoyer.

[koko-online]

Let me guess. You’re a Zenos enjoyer and that’s why you hate Zero. Because she got exactly the story you had hoped for Zenos. For him to learn how to be around people and go on adventures with you, but instead of him, his voidsent got the story.

Neat, my first ask on this account.

Oh dear lord I would have quit the game if they gave my sweet precious boy Zenos this story. Zenos is perfect as he is, and what you're describing is literally the plot of 6.0.

The patch story is, like, really bad.

1. It's clearly just a trial story, which is fine, but because they called it the msq, they felt they needed to take up a certain amount of playtime. So they invented these completely contrived, fake problems that give us an excuse to waste a ton of time talking to NPCs in Garlemald and the First who really have nothing meaningful to say.

2. The solution to their contrived problem, at least in Garlemald, flies in the face of the themes of the decade-long msq--selflessness, self-determination. It's literally just the propaganda line for 21st century colonialism??? "Garlemald, this poor sweet darling baby 🥹, its people are desperate not to improve their conditions, but to really feel like they've earned it 🥹 ! I know, we'll stop providing aid and instead let them sell off their natural resources to Thavnair for pennies, y'know, for the spirits of the people!"

3. E v e r y t h i n g just felt so god damn forced. The Golbez / Durante stuff was played up for tears, but we literally only just last patch learned who the fuck they are and their back story. Zeromus is completely irrelevant to the plot and was just an excuse to give us a trial. They literally were like "sorry, wol, you missed the story cuz you were just roleplaying a nuke, here's an echo flashback of what the *real* heroes were doing".

4. **Zero.** Counter to what I think you're implying, I never really had resentment toward her *in the context of Zenos*. Zenos had his ending. In fact, he had three endings if you're counting the high school AU. I love him, I love his character, I'd love to see more of him, but if they're done with him, I'm satisfied. **On the other hand** Zero just whines the entire god damn time, in the same exact way, about how she doesn't understand non-transactional relationships until suddenly it clicks for her in 6.5. There's no development, it's like they had an *idea* for the development and direction of the character, but they forgot they had to stretch it for two years worth of main story, so they just....had her repeat herself until her gigantic 180. It's not *shown* how she's transactional in nature or changing, it's just that she literally tells us every patch that that's how she is. It's so god damn boring and dry. It's like reading a 14 year old's fanfic.

5. The constant, unrelenting fellatio of FF4 also doesn't help. I have nothing against it, but they went *hard* with the "inspiration" this time. Makes everything feel disposable and predictable.

6. And since you brought up Zenos, like. Zero went *out of her way* to bring up Zenos in conversation, out of nowhere, four patches in a row. They were clearly angling to draw a contrast here, but it was never made. She never accepted or rejected Zenos view on friendship, she just ... WANTED TO SAY WORDS I guess. God I fucking. That went nowhere.

7. AND SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT WENT NOWHERE 6.1 was full of neat little lore about the voidsent and souls and what it means to devour someone. This all went absolutely freaking nowhere. Just thought we'd bring it up I guess????

8. So much, SO MUCH of Endwalker's story--main, patch, and side--revolves around the theme of companionship. At the same time, the game that story is in is progressively turning into a single player action rpg. It leaves the stories feeling hollow and fake. Like, okay, I should make friends and that's where the fun of the game should be. How should I do that? Uh...sit in limsa I guess? Cuz everywhere else is either silent (DF), communication forbidden (PvP), just soloed by the community (v/c dungeons), or positions other people as either warm bodies or hindrances (PF). FUCKING ENDWALKER man. They started off so strong with the msq and fucked it up every single step of the way.

[mannakete]

(this is the only not-dark photo I have of her)

#wolqotd’s from twitter, Raze Elakha edition

> Hoes does your wol(oc) feel about their name? (from RikaXIV on twt) related q:  depending on culture or circumstance, does your WoL have an alias or multiple names? How did they get their new name? (from OriWhiteDeer on twt)

Raze enjoys her name. She kept the family name she was raised with but she changed her name to Raze once she left her forests and grouped up with Adelline and company. She had never had another name but her birthname, which she’s given up entirely.

>  Does your WoL have a signature hairstyle or is your WoL like me who fancies changing hairstyles every now and then? (from rinkunffxiv)

Raze flips between 2 hair styles, very long or the side tail. If I had my way, she’d have a long thick braid. Similar to the Raiden Shogun’s for people who have seen her but not nearly AS long in back or nearly as clean up front.

>  Just out of curiosity, how old are your WoLs in your canon? (from Mortinfami ART (answered last year))

Raze is also in her early 30s at this point of time (6.2)

> who's your wol/oc's favorite twin: alpinhaud, or alisaie? (from protractions on twt)

Raze likes Alisaie a little bit more. She’s easier to talk to (she doesn’t fully understand half of the things alphinaud talks about) and she can just Talk with Alisaie about anything. Alisaie especially likes gossip about Adelline. Which Raze gives. Very willingly. She does still like Alphi. If she had it her way, the group would only be her, Adelline and the twins!

> I assume the question was about the WoL’s feelings about the end of Crystal Tower, but the tweet no longer exists sadly

Raze was also upset about it, just like Adelline. She also wanted to take G’Raha with them, since they were always travelling anyway and figured, why not! It would be a good experience and there would be fresh faces. Eventually she did get her wish and she’s happy as a clam about it

>  I have another incredibly important wol question. summer theme let's go. could they crush a(n allagan) watermelon between their thighs. (from catnipfarm)

Raze can do it without blinking. She uses it as an intimidation tactic.

> (Endwalker spoilers)  While recovering from the final fight with Zenos, who comes to visit them? Do they even want/allow visitors? (from InMyLeyLines)

I haven’t gotten this far with Raze but she would absolutely not allow ANYONE to see her. Even Adelline, because she’d think she was dreaming and she doesn’t want to be hopeful that she’s alive.

>  If your ffxiv character wasn't the warrior of light, what would they be instead? Job quest npc? Custom deliveries npc? Raid story npc? Whacky sidequest npc? (from Loudwindow)

Raze is also just a wanderer but her profession before that was a blacksmith. So if she never became the WoL, and by some twist of fate, never met Adelline, she’d be a smith somewhere in the world.

>  How did your WoL take learning about their Azem? (from faeth_s)

Raze denies it. She’s happy as she is and doesn’t believe she could have been anyone else, nor does she want to be. 

>  What's the most unnatural job for your WoL to play? What's the least suited to them as a person/their combat style? (from byletri)

Anything that can use magic. Her magic abilities are very low (she thinks her martial ability is just as bad) so anything that requires high amounts of aether manipulation she can’t do on her own. Even for teleporting she needs a booster.

>  Inspired by a recent question about what scents they like: I want to know what their magic smells like! If they're not a caster, are there any scents you associate with particular kinds of magic in general? (from InMyLeyLines)

If Raze COULD use magic well enough to not need someone else’s help, it’d probably be very woodsy.

>  WOL/OC question: what disciple of the land/hand jobs do you consider canon for your WOL? Is there any special context in their story? Are there some that they like and partake in but maybe aren't very good at? (from thancredulous)

Raze was a Blacksmith by trade before she met Adelline, and had ben doing that since her late teens. She’s also good at armorcrafting and gathering plants. Essentially, aside from gathering ore required for forging, she was the one supplying weapons and armor for the group. 

>  Did your Wol want to be a Wol? (from RikaXIV)

Not really no, and only because she’s not confident enough in her own combat abilities (despite having fairly good proficiency in mid-range combat. She also buckles under pressure and lots of responsibility so if she could transfer the ability to be WoL to someone else, she would.

>  What type of crier is your WoL? Loud, ugly-sobbing type, or perhaps it takes far too much to get even a single tear? (from WoLQuestions)

She’s the kind to start slow and then it speeds up before becoming uncontrollable. She’s not loud, but it’s also not quiet. She’ll shrug off and get upset about things, but if she’s actually crying, something hurt deeply.

>  On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being incredibly easy, and 10 being nearly impossible, how difficult is it to date your WoL/RP OC? (from ChubScarlet)

Realistically, 10. She’s very committed to Adelline. for funsies, a 4. All you really need to do is be nice to her long enough and mean it.

>  everyone wants an ishgardian ballroom scene but how well would your wol actually handle all those noble lords and ladies mobbing them for dances (from radicrow)

Raze does not like crowds. She’s also the most likely to step on their feet and then put her weight on it without thinking. So its best to avoid that with her.

>  Who is your WoL’s emotional support? (from WoLQuestions)

Adelline. And to an extent Alisaie when she feels she’s putting too much on Adelline (From either side of the story, Raze being wol or adelline). She’s tried confiding in the other scions but it never went very far. 

>  What kind of video games would your wol play in a modern AU? Any reason for that? (from CGekkou)

Raze loves Stardew. She would probably play every farming sim and life sim at least once. 

>  Your WoL returns to their childhood home. How do they react? (from AnrhiOri)

Raze borderline ran away from her childhood home so she would like nothing more than to never see it again.

>  What would be your WoL's catchphrase when you select them in the Trust menu? (from FF_XIV_EN (official)

"Alright. Time to move."

>  Cringe/comedy/awkward scenario— given how known the WoL is now; what would YOUR WoL/D do if just outside the Rising Stones a bunch of obnoxious fans now gather to try and get a glimpse of them??? (from SmolWol)

Raze absolutely uses adelline as a miqo’te shaped battering ram to leave the rising stones/wherever they were staying to Adelline’s endless amusement.

>  where was your wol during the calamity at the end of 1.0? (from bardings)

On another continent, she hadn’t yet made it to eorzea with the others.

Non qotd facts from my twt: > Has a very good singing voice. Adelline affectionately calls her a bird. > Not the biggest fan of cat based puns > Is one inconvenience away from an emotional breakdown > flusters very easy > Thrives in the cold, doesn’t do well in the heat (this is a holdover from ye old wow incarnation)

Raze’s class path: (2.0) DRG > (3.0) DRG > (4.0) DRG > (5.0) DRG > (6.0) DRG

[lycheesqueeze]

4 K-Dramas that make me go  ✨w o m a n✨

Today I present to you the Crème de la Crème. Beautiful, pretty, smart and unstoppable: These K-Dramas make me want to marry the female characters. I promise after watching these four series you will question yourself again what sexuality you are. 

Strong roles for female characters are actually rare in K-Drama. Too often they depend on the help and validation of men, are portrayed stereotypical or in unrealistic ways. These following K-Dramas are breaking the standard roles of those female characters and make them the heroine of the story: 

- Hotel del Luna [호텔 델루나] // 2019 by Oh Choong-Hwan, Hong Jeong-Eun // 16 Episodes 

Hotel del Luna is a story about Man-Wol, who is forced to care for a supernatural hotel due to a sin she committed in the past. It is a guest house for the souls/ghosts of deceased humans who have unfinished business on earth before going to the afterlife. Besides Man-Wol there are also other staff at the hotel such as the receptionist Hyun-Joong and the human hotel manager Chan-Sung. The story evolves around Man-Wol’s past life, her relationship with Chan-Sung and the development of her character. 

Man-Wol seems to be a closed in and out of touch character. She loves to spend money on pretty things, acts invulnerable and classy. Her character is strong and independent and as the story develops, we realise, that even in her past live she always relied on herself. The second lead character, the human hotel manager Chan-Sung, helps her to overcome the grief of her past and move on to the future, so she can finally enter the afterlife. 

It is an interesting, sometimes sad, mostly entertaining drama with a heartwarming story. If you look closely you can spot other known faces such as Sulli, Lee Do-Hyun, Kang Mi-Na and Soo-Hyun. 

Main Actresses and Actors: Lee Ji-Eun (IU) as Jang Man-Wol & Yeo Jin-Goo as Koo Chan-Sung

- Run On [런 온] // 2020 by Lee Jae-Hun, Park Si-Hyeon // 16 Episodes 

Run On is a simple romance drama without a big plot line. It tells the story about the average translator Oh Mi-Joo who lives a pretty normal live. Through her job she meets the sprinter Ki Seon-Gyeom who retires shortly after and starts working as an agent for his friend Kim Woo-Sik. They start dating and throughout their relationship they have to face different kind of problems and how to overcome them. The second plot revolves around the unemphatic CEO Seo Dan-A who meets the young art student Lee Yeong-Hwa who starts working on an art pice for her. They too start dating. 

Oh Mi-Joo and Seo Dan-A are really strong characters who have their own live and principles. Although having different backgrounds they both display an independent woman who cares for herself first. All relationships in this drama are pretty healthy and something we can actually learn from. Another fact I really like is that we finally see more than only straight characters. Dan-A for example could be seen as a non stereotypical Bi-Character and Yeong-Hwa’s best friend is a gay character with the difficulty of coming out to him. 

As I mentioned before there isn’t much of an exciting plot line but the development of the characters and their relationship is fun to watch and makes it a relaxing drama. 

Main Actresses and Actors: Yim Si-Wan as Ki Seon-Gyeom, Shin Se-Kyung as Oh Mi-Joo & Choi Soo-Young as Seo Dan-Ah, Kang Tae-Oh as Lee Young-Hwa

- It’s Okay to Not Be Okay [사이코지만 괜찮아] // 2020 by Park Shin-Woo, Jo Yong // 16 Episodes 

A story about a sassy child book author who moves back to her old house and starts working at a mental hospital to give lectures about literature. She meets Moon Gang-Tae and his little brother and starts to befriend them. Gang-Tae also works at the mental institution and lives at his old friends house. Together the three start to overcome their past traumas and problems. 

Moon-Young the child book author is a mysterious woman who seems to be sadistic and a little bit crazy. She doesn’t fit into society norms and doesn’t give a s*** about other opinions. Moon-Young also has a fantastic taste in fashion and carelessly of her surroundings wears what she loves (extravagant clothing that looks like she hoped out of a fairy tale). As the story develops, we learn that she has a lot of suppressed trauma because of her mother who wants to kill her. The male lead Gang-Tae has to deal with the difficult relationship with his autistic brother. Moon Sang-Tae, Gang-Tae’s brother on the other hand has untreated trauma from his past, that leads to him being mentally unstable. The plot line focuses on the trio who heal each other through their friendship and trust in each other. 

I really enjoyed watching this drama. All characters are interesting and have their own motives and stories. Seo Yea-Ji is a great actor and fits the role of Ga-Young perfectly plus she is super pretty. I recommend this drama for everyone who wants to watch something out of the ordinary. 

Main Actresses and Actors: Seo Yea-Ji as Koo Moon-Young & Kim Soo-Hyun as Moon Gang-Tae

- The Uncanny Counter [경이로운 소문] // 2020 by Yoo Sun-Dong // 16 Episodes 

This Drama is about a high schooler named So Mun who is lives with his grand parents and is a pretty soft boy. He becomes a “Counter” and joins a group of other “Counter” to catch evil spririts. Together they start digging up the wrong doings of mayor Shin Myeong-whi and his partners while catching an unstoppable evil spirit named Ji Cheong-Sin who commits a lot of murders around their town. 

The reason I included this Drama is the strong role of Do Ha-Na who is part of the counter group and becomes good friends with So Mun. She is the definition of a strong woman who is independent and relies on herself. Nonetheless she needs help from time to time to overcome hardships. Other female roles such as Counter Mae-Ok and Mun’s friend Ju-Yeon are also non stereotypical female roles with interesting and special traits. 

The Uncanny Counter is not a romance Drama but more so an action or fantasy one. It is full of inspirational scenes, characters and interesting plot twists. 

Main Actresses and Actors: Jo Byeong-Kyu as So Mun & Kim Se-Jeong as Do Ha-Na

[crystalbahamut]

victory in stages

FFXIV Write Day 10: heady

Summary: You’re used to being liked because you’re useful, but it’s harder to believe someone likes you for…well…you, and you’re not brave enough to ask. Luckily, you have a plan to get around that. A stupid plan, perhaps, but a plan.

Warnings: Shadowbringers spoilers, unspecified/ambiguous WoL, they/them used for WoL, WoL has low self-esteem, such low self-esteem they have to get knocked about the head, literally, mild violence, 2nd person, G’raha Tia/WoL

Words: 3,363

 ---

Purging the remnants of the Lightwardens from you would have been enough to make you feel weightless but combined with the defeat of Emet-Selch, the fact that you had gone into a fight and come out with no causalities, the fact that G’raha Tia had stood in front of you, hurt but so gloriously awake and alive…

You were so overwhelmed by gratitude, by things going so right for once and so drunk on the heady feeling of absolute victory you had surged forward and grabbed G’raha in your arms and squeezed. He had gasped and hugged back, stammering your name…

…But now, a couple of days removed from it, you’re wondering if you hadn't just…startled him.

“Did you travel back to the Source without telling us?”

You jolt up, taking your chin from your hand and sitting back to face Alisaie and Y’shtola, who look unamused and amused, respectively. “Sorry,” you say. “What were you saying?”

Alisaie rolls her eyes and looks askance at Y’shtola. “It’s probably a good thing we made them sit with their back to the Crystal Tower or we’d never catch their attention again.”

You frown. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing.” But Y’shtola smiles into her cup as she merely holds it to her lips. “You seem to be very deep in thought, is all. One has to wonder what has caught your mind so thoroughly.” Her smile widens. “Or who.”

You duck your head between your shoulders at the insinuation. “Oh, it’s not…”

“Please, you’ve been asking after the Exarch ever since we got back from the Tempest,” Alisaie says. “Haven’t you gotten tired of his company even a little?”

“I haven’t seen him since we came back.”

Both Y’shtola and Alisaie lose the teasing edge and sit forward. “What?” Alisaie asks in disbelief.

You shrug, very uncomfortable with where this conversation is going. There must still be some sin eaters around somewhere that need killing, right? That seems like more fun than being subjected to Y’shtola’s and Alisaie’s very special brands of tough love. “He’s still the Exarch helping run an entire city, and I’m just…what he needed me for is done. There’s no reason for him to want to see me.”

“Did he say that?!” Alisaie asks and starts to rise.

“Oh I severely doubt it.” Y’shtola grabs Alisaie’s sleeve and pulls her back down into her seat. “You know our friend and their insecurities.”

“Hmf.” Alisaie crosses her arms but looks less murderous, at least. “Honestly, I thought that would all be assuaged by that show of affection in the Tempest. I didn’t know a hug could be so fraught and romantic.”

“I think I just surprised him.” You stare down at your cup. The tea is likely lukewarm but you don’t pour more; you doubt you’ll drink it. “I’ve been meaning to talk to him, to ask him if–…Back when we first explored the Crystal Tower, I thought maybe he might…but then he locked himself away, and that answered that. But before we went to fight Vauthry he said some things that implied maybe he…might feel something for me, but I haven’t asked him about it since, and…”

You look up and jerk back. Alisaie and Y’shtola are both just staring at you. You feel like crawling under a rock for the rest of your miserable life. “It’s stupid, isn’t it?” you say and hide your face in your hands. “Gods; please forget I brought it up.”

“The Exarch spent a hundred years trying to prevent your death,” Alisaie says, speaking slowly. “Nearly sacrificed his own life to do so, calls you things like his ‘inspiration’ with sickening amounts of adoration, looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky, and you don’t think he’s madly in love with you?”

“I don’t know if he likes me romantically.” You duck down into your shoulders again. “Just because other people think I’m a hero that needs to go on living doesn’t mean there’s any deeper attachment to it. Stories can inspire, but at the end of the day they’re just that– stories.” You take a sip of your drink and grimace. It’s not even lukewarm anymore. “Also, the stars thing…technically I did bring back the night.” You put the cup down. “But I was supposed to do that. Now that I’m not useful anymore–”

“Warrior!” one of Lyna’s soldiers says, nearly breathless as she rushes up. “The captain bid me give a message to you.”

“What is it?” you say and stand.

“There’s been sightings of sin eaters accumulating over by Sullen; they seem to be disorganized and frenzied– likely starving and desperate– but there’s a similar issue by the Ostall Imperative that has most of the soldiers occupied; they won’t get to the settlement in time. Please, will you–”

“Understood.” You grab your weapon and relief surges through you– it’s terrible, probably, considering the danger people are in, but at least you can still be considered useful. “I’ll head out to Sullen right away.”

“Wait for me!” Alisaie says, leaping after you and you hear Y’shtola and the soldier talk about grabbing Thancred and the rest of them just before the two of you run off.

 ---

There is nothing quite like a successful battle, you think as you trudge back into the Crystarium with Alisaie emanating the same sense of relief behind you. Your blood is raging and your mind is clear; you feel like you can fight a primal. Maybe two primals. You feel like–

“Thank goodness you’ve returned safely.”

You stop so suddenly Alisaie bumps into you. She curses but you don’t really listen to what she’s saying. How can you, when G’raha is standing right there, looking so radiantly healthy and smiling at you like he truly is grateful to see you.

“Coming to see us back? I hope you weren’t worried,” you tease, and are rewarded by a slight flush of his cheeks.

Thancred mutters something too low for you to hear and that’s probably for the best, as Alphinaud chokes.

“Yes, well.” G’raha clears his throat and smiles. “‘Tis always a pleasure to see you all return safely.”

“And here I thought I might be special,” you say, with absolutely no acrimony.

Alas, G’raha doesn’t blush, but there is a rather fetching mischievous sheen to his expression when he says, “There was never any doubt of that.”

You swallow hard. Is he flirting? Does he mean it like you want him to? You almost mean to continue– to see how far he’ll let you go– but apparently the healers have been warned of your coming because a few of them come to escort you to Spagyrics, and as you sit for healing and bandaging and whatever else, the adrenaline settles and you start to second-guess everything again.

“You see?” Alisaie says pointedly. “He was waiting for you.”

“He was waiting for all of us,” you say and sigh. “And I was…was I inappropriate? I don’t think so, but…”

“By the Twelve, you can’t be serious,” Thancred groans. “You were so brave not half a bell earlier, I thought you were making real headway.”

“I always feel braver after a battle. It’s…” You try to think about it. “I guess after fighting for my life everything else just seems easier.”

“Would that we could bottle that bravery for you,” Thancred huffs and stands, shifting his shoulder and thanking the healer.

You sigh. “If I had a gil for every time I thought–” Wait a moment. You can’t bottle it…but you can try to manipulate it. All you have to do is talk to G’raha immediately following a fight. And that isn’t a difficult thing to do– leatherworkers need Smilodon skins, Hoptraps breed like crazy…

Alphinaud says your name as if cautious. “What are you thinking?”

“If I’m not brave enough to talk to G’raha normally, I can make myself brave enough to talk to G’raha,” you say and punch your fist.

“Excellent work, Thancred,” Alisaie says sharply.

“Y’shtola is going to kill me,” he groans in reply.

“No; this is a great idea,” you insist, because it is. “I fight things all the time and I’m still alive! This is perfect; it’s just a little adrenaline rush, nothing big.”

“Y’shtola is going to kill you,” Alphinaud sighs and Thancred nearly whimpers.

You are going to prove them all wrong and find out once and for all what G’raha truly thinks of you.

Win-win.

 ---

So your first fight does…not quite go according to plan. You found a strange looking horse while traveling through Lakeland and tried to get a better look at it, only to be immediately kicked back by hooves and knocked out. At least the sun is still out when you wake up again, but when you try to get up your ribs are definitely badly bruised, if not mildly broken. You use what healing magics you have to patch yourself back up and carry on your way. You try not to be grateful that you can’t find the horse again.

You find a botanist in a spot of trouble and help him by gathering lumber amongst a gaggle of angry triffids. It’s perfect– you get knocked around a little bit but dodging branches and putting down angry trees is surprisingly challenging and gets your blood flowing. And you help someone. A win-win indeed.

You try to clean yourself up just a little bit and head straight for the Ocular, only to be stopped by the guard.

“So sorry, but he’s in a meeting right now; no interruptions,” the man says regretfully.

“Oh, of course!” It makes sense; G’raha is still The Crystal Exarch, leading a city, doing so many important things…

The rush fades quickly and you head back to your room in defeat. G’raha comes by later, looking so sorry when he apologizes for missing you earlier, but you do your best to wave him off.

“It wasn’t that important,” you say and thankfully a yawn overtakes you.

“I’ll not trouble you any longer, then,” he says and steps back, bids you goodnight.

You watch him leave, thinking about calling him back with every step, and yet he turns a corner without a word from you.

You sigh, but it’s only day one. Tomorrow will be better.

 ---

Tomorrow is not better.

Neither is the day after that.

Neither is the day after that.

You are a capable fighter, truly– sometimes you think it’s all you’re truly good for, being thrown at violence like a martially adept doll– but you just keep having problems. Most of them are scheduling conflicts, as G’raha is still an important man and you still have responsibilities of your own, but the healers are proving far too troublesome as they seem to intercept you ninety-percent of the time. You sourly wonder if they have a magic mirror they can watch the world in as you trundle back to your room late one night.

Or perhaps they have informants.

The next day you take a little break. Or so you tell everyone. Y’shtola seems quizzical (you wonder if no one told her about this plan of yours) and your other friends seem relieved. Especially Thancred.

“I’m just doing a little delivery job this morning,” you tell them. “No fighting; since I’m carrying goods I’ll be avoiding confrontation. I’ll be back tonight.”

Sure enough, when you get back from your delivery you spy a healer watching as you come through the main plaza, and when she sees that you’re well she goes back to Spagyrics.

Snitches. Well you’re not so easily foiled– you go back to your room and then use the aetheryte at Fort Jobb to get back to Lakeland proper. The strange horse has been spotted and a few other hunters with Clan Nutsy are keen to take the job. With help, it shouldn’t take you long at all, and G’raha is almost never busy at this time of night. It’s perfect.

 ---

Up until you get knocked headfirst into a tree. That and the fact that it takes much longer than expected means you all but storm into the Crystarium later than expected, and feeling too foul to see G’raha. Sure, you can fight a primal, but with your mood you’d chew up and spit out a Lightwarden too, which is hardly conducive for a love confession.

But then there’s G’raha, calling your name before you get too far. “I was looking for you earlier; Urianger said you’d gone to your room but–” He jerks back when he sees you and his eyes widen in surprise, and concern, and so much care that your anger fizzles like an overloaded lamp. “What happened?”

“Bad luck,” you say and sigh. “And if I see a healer I might…do something I’ll regret. I’m sorry, G’raha, but maybe we can talk later.”

“Oh no; the blood on your face is worrisome enough, but the way you look makes me think you may have a concussion,” he says. “Pray, if you will not see a healer, would you allow me to care for you?”

There is a right answer, a wrong answer, and an inappropriately desperate answer, and your tongue twists on the latter. G’raha doesn’t wait for you to speak– he grabs your hand and pulls you along behind him, and you become so focused on that (he’s holding your hand) you barely realize what’s going on before you’re in a room in the tower you’ve never seen before, where there’s a bed and a nightstand and…

Maybe you do have a concussion.

“Here,” he says and sits you on the bed. It’s a really nice bed.

“With as much as you do I’m surprised you ever sleep,” you say and feel over the soft top blanket while he prepares something or other for…something or other. Why are you here again? You try to shake your head and gasp in pain. Right. Concussion.

“Easy; no need to cause yourself more pain,” G’raha murmurs and sits next to you. He cleans your face as gently as he can and you try to hide how much you ache regardless. You feel a little clearer, a little more focused, and you try to remain that way. “And I don’t sleep much, but it looks like you’re picking up my bad habits, friend. You’ve been keeping so busy lately,” he says as he bandages the cut on your forehead. “I feel like every time I try to see you you’re out doing something or another.”

“I’m not…doing that much.” You swallow. “I’m just trying to be useful, and, well, fighting is all I’m good for.”

“It’s not all you’re good for.”

“It’s helpful,” you insist. “For me too. I needed to–…to…”

“To?” G’raha repeats and you wonder if maybe the concussion can take you now, because G’raha has always been the same when he gets one little piece of information– he hounds about it. Relentlessly.

You sigh. Heavily. If it gets too hard you’ll clam up, and he’ll be disappointed, and then where will you be. But G’raha says your name, and so you steel yourself to try. “I needed…to be brave,” you say and wince as he dabs at a cut on your hand. “I wanted…I wanted to talk to you.”

He slows his motions and then stops. “My friend,” he says gently; he’s always so gentle and sweet it makes you nearly sick with want. “What would make you so afraid to talk to me? After all we have been through together, surely you can tell me most anything?”

“It might be stupid. Presumptive,” you admit. “And I…I don’t want you to think less of me.”

Gentle fingers touch the bottom of your chin and tilt it up. You stare into crimson that somehow looks so adoring, but does he adore you as a savior…or a person? “My dear friend,” he says. “There is nothing in this world that can make me think less of you.”

Staring at him, you feel your heart pound like it’s going to burst out of your chest and you think– you can’t do this anymore. If you don’t find out you’ll go crazy; you have to know, whether it hurts or not. “G’raha, in Kholusia, before Vauthry– were you talking about me?” you say, trying to speak as fast as you can, before you lose your nerve. “Do you like me? Romantically?”

He stares at you. Dumbfounded.

Like he couldn’t possibly have predicted this.

You swallow a lump of tears and feel shame settle upon you heavier than the world itself. You look down to try and maintain some dignity. “F-forget I said anything; I’m so, so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I swear–”

“I thought I was obvious.”

You blink. You lift your head and some of the nausea quells. G’raha is smiling softly at you and wringing the cloth in his hands, even though it’s nearly gone fully dry. “I didn’t want to pressure you,” he says. “You seemed to shy away from me so I thought I would give you some time to figure out your feelings, for mine– mine have always been thus, ever since the first time I saw you again after you cleared the labyrinth and my heart swelled to see you safe.”

“Really? Even then?” you ask.

“Oh, most certainly.” It is adoration in his eyes as he slides his hand over your cheek and you lean into his touch. “How could you sound so disbelieving?”

“I’m just…me. I go where I’m needed and do as I’m told. If anybody else had the blessing they’d be twice the hero,” you say but you can’t help but slide your hand over his. “But you, G’raha, you’re strong and smart and kind and clever and you’ve always been so much more; are you sure you–”

He kisses you so suddenly he has to hold your shoulder to keep you from falling back. But it’s so good, you forget all about trying to talk some sense into him. He pulls back to pant for air and you try to stop the swimming of your head. You are not letting a concussion get in the way of this. “My friend– my love,” he corrects and it’s your heart that swells. “Anyone could have had the blessing and not been a tenth of what you are. If only you could see what I see.”

“I-I can try.” You know it gets tiring for people to have to listen to what you think about yourself sometimes– even your friends have gotten fed up on occasion– and you don’t want to drive him away. If he thinks you’re good enough for him, you can but try to be good enough for him– without getting knocked in the head again, you hope.

“Good,” he says simply and brings your hand to his lips to press a kiss to the back of it. “However we will have to continue this when you no longer have a head injury.”

“It’s not that bad,” you say and try to lean in for at least one more kiss, but you wobble, and the next thing you know G’raha is laying you on the bed.

“I’ll be checking in on you often to make sure that concussion isn’t severe.” He squeezes your hand and smiles. “By morning you’ll take back everything you said, for how much you’ll want to murder me.”

You squeeze his hand and return his smile. “If I didn’t drown you in a puddle in the Shroud, I’m not going to be that cross with you now.”

You fall asleep to his laughter.

 ---

When morning comes it’s even brighter (in a good way) than it has ever been. You and G’raha have breakfast together, and hold hands, and when G’raha kisses you goodbye as you leave him to get some work done you practically float across the Crystarium to share the good news.

Your friends, touchingly, are very happy for you.

Y’shtola doesn’t even kill Thancred when she finds out what incited the whole thing.

(It’s a near thing though.)

[themadchemist]

Last night I had the best dream in a long time (which gave me ideas for my WoL's story but since I'm an absolute disappointment when it comes to actually writing, I'll just type it here and either hope that I get some inspiration or just throw it here because I really like the idea and I want to share it even if I don't touch it again afterwards haha)

Anyway...

It's probably because I've been into a big ffxiv mood lately thanks to the new raid patch but I saw my WoL, Aurora (previously Arciela but I'm in the process of reworking her, her appearance and parts of her story), going on a "date" with Thancred, the date being fighting the twelve because they were supposed to be going on a normal date later that day, but due to the urgency of the situation they couldn't, so Krile and G'raha called Thancred for help to make up for it... When they said to get more people to fight with you and all. (maybe if I ever write it I'll make it so that my friends' WoLs and their partners joined too...).

Fast forward to them just strolling around Aglaia, discussing the situation, their surroundings and Aurora and the guy who was supposed to be Deryk? sharing what they know about the twelve and myths and stuff, fighting whatever and whoever pops up in the process (Thancred being her "knight" protecting her while she blasts their foes away). Now that I think about it, I feel bad about Deryk having to witness that shit because they're fighting GODS! and they definitely don't seem to be taking things seriously enough (they are don't worry). Like, OH NO SHE'S GOING TO GET HIT! Oh thank goodness that guy tanked it... OH GOD CAN HE FIGHT IN THAT CONDITION??!! Oh she healed him... So it would be really bad for his nerves, especially since he also had to listen to their banter which was mostly sarcasm and flirting XD

Now, if I'm going to add anything to that part, it would be Aurora wanting to ask Azeyma if she had a connection to Azem and Nald'thal about certain dead people but not getting answers because of the whole "we can't tell you, you'll have to find out yourself" thing or maybe not getting the chance to ask at all...

And in that last scene in the Seventh Heaven, Thancred would be there as well and he's pouting and sulking and Aurora catches him glaring at Deryk.

Thancred, is something the matter?

No, I'm fine.

Really? You don't look fine to me and you drank a little too much tonight.

I'm fine, just a little tired from today.

I see 😏

Cue Thancred getting a little massage

Thancred, are you... Jealous? 👀

Of-f course not. Who would I even be jealous of?

Deryk, the explorer.

O-oh, of course not! Why would I be jealous of him? It's for the job, I understand.

I caught you glaring at him.

... He... He didn't try anything funny while I was gone, right?

No, he didn't. 😇

Good. 😊

Then he would get peppered with little kisses all over his face.

Now, my silliness aside, I think Thancred would be a little jealous in such an event because I headcanon that he loved Aurora since Praetorium but between feeling that he wasn't good enough, that he needed to be better and stronger and everything that happened from ARR to ShB, he didn't have the courage to confess until post 5.0. So even though they've been together for a while, I think these insecurities would resurface in such situations sometimes.

And that's it, my sleepy brain's attempt to fill the void of barely seeing my lovely "grizzled old bard" this patch lol

[thevoilinauttheory]

Lothaire for the Give you a character thing

[ I wasn't expecting to see my own character(s) on the list, but here he is! I will take any day to talk about them lol Thank you so much for the ask, @cadrenebula! ]

How I feel about this character:

From an OOC standpoint, it's strange to say that I have mixed feelings about my own characters, but Lothaire is one of those characters. Mostly because... Maximiloix was my main for years upon years until I made Lothaire on Mateus and met my spouse on him. I'm a little sad about that, because I thoroughly enjoy playing as Maximiloix, but he's so far behind, that I can't really bother to pick him up as my main anymore. So Lothaire is my main now, and most played OOCly, and one of the least played ICly. ICly - I love Lothaire. He's a nervous dork. He's perfect Dad™ material. Finding plots for him can be hard, considering that he's a rather tame character - and all plots I've done in the past are just that, in the past, and it's not likely that those plots will repeat. Currently, he's working with his grandfather to find a way to the First, which they had heard about in some reports - and all that time he spent trying to prove travel between stars was not for naught! He's a little too curious for his own good and tends to find himself in trouble. A lot. Especially with how absolutely clumsy he is. (I'd say, think Pippin from LotR kind of clumsy - except Lothaire is an academic that likes to stick his nose in things he shouldn't). When he's not getting himself into trouble (in which, his husband usually drags him out of), they run an orphanage and school together in the Beds. He is also a part time jeweler! (Which I gave to him, because of my own love for making jewelry), he also dances fairly well for someone who can't seem to climb up stairs without tripping at least twice. He has the Echo both regularly and his WoL!Verse. It's simple, and he usually uses it for his research - since he'll get visions of the past, he tries to apply that to his studies in hisory, and always hopes he'll get another one when he's on a trip out. Though in his WoL!Verse, he actually finds the damn thing annoying and interruptive. Overall: He is a relatively harmless and anxious scholar.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

Well, I'm going to start with his husband. Duh.

I think the story's been said a couple times, but Misha and Lothaire met by happenstance... very strange happenstance. After a conversation with his friend, Aumix, who is a rather prickly fellow (and belongs to a friend) - Lothaire tripped over a chair in the Drowning Wench and broke his glasses after landing face first on the floor. Now, anyone who knows Lothaire, knows that he is incredibly blind without his glasses. Instead of helping the poor man home, Aumix leaves Lothaire to his own devices... which caused him to trip again and fall three stories off the balcony and into the ocean (luck made sure he hit the water, or else he could have been very dead). Misha happened to be picking up a shipment at the docks near the Fishermen's Guild, and only barely caught sight of the bean pole swimming poorly towards him. After helping him up, Lothaire insisted on thanking him properly once he was able to get his spare glasses from his apartment.

They are now married, have eight kids (that they own, not including the ones staying in their orphanage) and a cat... that Lothaire is highly allergic to. He really couldn't be happier for his situation! (I rarely get inspiration from other media for my characters, but Lothaire is definitely a lot like Maes Hughs from FMA when it comes to his kids. And would probably die as easily too.)

Then there's his WoL!Verse. In which. All of my characters have some NPC I ship them with in some way. For Lothaire, it was complicated.

I initially shipped him with Thancred - because they were both alcoholic messes with a pension for bad decisions. This ended up in a several night stand, during which Lothaire became very attached (as he is wont to do); but as a WoL, he wasn't going to show that Thancred's sudden aloofness was hurting him. And soon - eventually - he just ended up ignoring Thancred altogether, and acted as if he didn't exist until he really needed to exist.

Lothaire would get crushes on others but never act on them, being as busy as he was, and it wasn't until the events of Shadowbringers that everything finally settled. Though, much to his surprise, it wasn't just Thancred that came forward and apologized, but Urianger too, before him. Then he was stuck in the middle of this, what I believe to be, perfect Dad™ OT3. They like to embarrass him - because it's not hard to do. (Unlike his grandfather's lovelife, Lothaire isn't afraid to admit he has one.)

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Lothaire has a few friends! Not many, but a few! The first being Aumix Fourchetaix - who started off just as a bodyguard for him while he did his field work. But Lothaire is kind of hard to hate, and even though the man was kind of prickly, he did care on some level for Lothaire.

One of Lothaire's best friends is his cousin, Honorie Fauvier. They've always gotten along, despite their vastly different upbringings; and their daughters were fast friends too. Honorie was always a voice of reason for him - while he brought the light of adventure into her life.

And the last would be Danny Harold (Avis, as he knows him). Their friendship started through Maximiloix, and while he wouldn't consider him a close friend, he would consider him a family friend - and does open his house to him from time to time, or whenever he needs it.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Having an unpopular opinion about my own character is a little weird, and I'm not certain how that would go.

But my "unpopular opinion" is that if people think they know Lothaire, they don't. He has so many layers to him, it's hard to unpack, and even harder to write.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

I wish I was able to give him more fuck-ups with love before he married. His story seemed to be a perfect fairytale, and that wasn't really my initial intention. I wanted him to go through a lot of hardship to get where he was, with more interaction from other people. Because of how quickly his story progressed, he never got time to make mistakes or even meet too many people.

[ffxiv-ariavitali]

Not sure if would accept this prompt... Can I have a platonic Fray & Gender Neutral WOL based on the song "For Good" by Wicked musical? I just had so much feels and proud of WOL getting have their character development through the course of the story. Tearjerking angst if possible given the nature this prompt is based on SHB latest quest for DRK

i haven’t seen the musical, so i don’t think the sentiment is fully embodied, but based on listening to the song, this is what i’ve got. i don’t think it’s angst, really, but i hope you like it nonetheless >.<

(That being said, ShB and lvl 80 DRK spoilers below the cut)

❅ ❅ ❅

You had returned to Ishgard to see how Sidurgu and Rielle were doing after all that had happened on the First. Thinking back on it, you had grown so, so much ever since you had to confront Myste and his simulacrum, of the shadows that wrapped around your heart with thorny vines. Telling the story to the others, it would seem they were inclined to agree.

“You traveled unto a doomed world and pledged your sword to a futile cause. You fought and you fought and you fought...”

That was right. You did fight; fight so hard that you almost lost your life in the process. You bore witness to so much death, wondering if only you were faster, stronger, wiser that you would be able to save them.

“That faraway land and her people live on because you all were willing to fight to the bitter end—because you were too stubborn to die.”

But, then again, you bore witness to so much love. Not only yours, but the love that Novrandt’s people had for one another; so desperate were they to live that they invoke hope and inspiration on each other like an infectious disease and lift each other, higher and higher, until they could touch the heavens. For so long, you have played the hero, the one that everyone could depend on, and that made for a lonely climb to the top. One that made you forget that others are reaching out for you to help just as much as you were reaching out to them.

“The flame in the abyss, the love you bear for the ones you hold most dear—that is the source of true strength.”

And it was. For you and your comrades. You loved each and every one of them from the bottom of your heart; the ones that shun you and the ones that welcome you all the same. That ones that yet live and the ones that had sacrificed themselves for you. With each one that you had met in search of the letter’s original writer, you were reminded of how much love you had. Of how much you have touched their lives even when you’ve forgotten their faces along the way.

As you stood overlooking Whitebrim, a flood of memories came and along with it, the one that has always looked out for you. 

“I wanted this, once. More than anything. A chance to speak and be heard...”

I’ve heard you, you think to yourself. I’ve heard you loud and clear.

“But neither of us needs it anymore. And if we look deep within ourselves, we would realize that we never did—”

Even if I didn’t need you, even if I haven’t been changed for the better...

“—you and you alone know who you are—”

...I have been changed...

“—As we did together that day, when you gave us our answer. Was it ever mine...?”

You know that Fray has only wanted the best for you. Crying and screaming within your heart when you must be strong. When you felt as if it was growing too much, he was by your side and urging you onward with the little ‘Just a little longers’ and ‘Think of me and I’ll be theres’.

When you needed him most, when your thoughts strayed to him as you were dying, as you confronted the embodiment of death, he gave you the greatest gift of all; a stalwart comrade to fight with you, by your side. So much of yourself and what you have learned about yourself wouldn’t have come to be without him with you. Guiding you. Loving you.

And, you realized then, that his answer, by some fashion, became a part of your own. You couldn’t help but release a single tear. One in honor of the one that left a hand print in your heart, one in honor for acquiring the forgiveness you had been searching for this entire time, one in honor for the person you have become as a result.

And one as a thank you to the one that has changed you...for good.

[illegiblewords]

Notes under the cut!

Having made a lady WoL collection, I decided to do a dude one too. As before I have more, but not all are leveled and I have some I’m more attached to than others.

I do want to push for more range honestly--I’m not sure how I wound up with three midlander dudes and a highlander lol. I should really follow through with a male au ra, hrothgar, and lalafell. I did an odd green/brown hair hybrid that I suppose could qualify for brunette, but otherwise my tendencies toward black and blonde hair came through real strong. Mysteriously absent are redheads. I may also want to experiment more with color palettes and cultural influences a bit.

For the guys, there are spots where I played into job expectations and spots where I defied them. I wanted to try designing some characters in ways I hadn’t seen so much in-game, as well as designing characters who would immediately evoke a specific tone! There are also definitely jobs where I deliberately tried to show some traditional masculinity where it’s less expected, which was fun.

Cenric/Black Mage Midlander: People have criticized hyurs before by calling them “too vanilla”, since they’re the human stand-ins. I figure though, they’re hyurs. Hyurs are imaginary and don’t need to follow real world biology. Play with color palettes and features so you get a more definite fantasy look if you want to. With Cenric, I specifically tried to go super dark and de-saturated to evoke a walking silhouette (sort of like drow) and gave him the palest eyes possible with strategic face paint so they’d look like they glow. This was all in the name of making a character who evoked Final Fantasy’s classic black mage, just going in a more adult and extra spooky-goth direction.

Maerec/Dark Knight Midlander: Maerec, I designed specifically to both be a step off of the default midlander from commercials and to embody the Dark Knight questline as best I could. Giving him some edge visually while still feeling reasonably natural was fun to balance! To this end, I knew dark eyes would be important to helping the black hair fit in. Going with a very dark red I figure it almost seems like he could have brown eyes until you look closely. Making him feel very Ishgardian was also fun, with the horned helmet and Fray-esque glamour. I also designed him to both parallel and contrast with Lahabrea given their stories are intertwined. If there’s scattered angel/demon imagery between them that works even more.

Sublime Tiger/Samurai Hellsguard: I know that my natural inclinations go toward bishonens lmao, so figuring out the angle I wanted to work with the SUPER BEEFY male roegadyns was wild! One thing that gave me inspiration at the time was realizing that, with their black noses, Hellsguard roegadyns can 100% evoke big cats--among other animals. I usually prefer designing Sea Wolves for lacking the black noses because my impulse is for it either to be visually unified with the rest of the face/body or go without--so I often feel a bit more limited with what kind of designs I’ll do for Hellsguard. With Sublime Tiger, originally he had both orange and black striped hair (one of the styles available works it) as well as the black face paint evoking tiger stripes. I found the hair more limiting with helms though so made it pure black instead. Deciding what glamour would look good and play well with proportions was also a process--wanted him to feel like he’s from Othard since there is a big Hellsguard population there, so samurai made some sense to me in building that. After experimenting though, I wound up going with a look that took a bit of inspiration from One Thousand And One Nights. I have additional ideas for what I might try going forward though.

J’mor/Red Mage Miqo’te: This was a combination of a lot of ideas! One was wanting to embrace the physicality of red mage as a job, and explore it as a worldly kind of caster who works well with ease of movement and does a lot of darting around the battlefield. Mages in-general are often seen as kind of ivory tower sorts, and by shedding the usual frills I wanted to show that it’s possible to have a caster’s knowledge while being very connected to the world at large. Also give a strong sense of SWASHBUCKLER where the magic kind of slaps you in the face with additional power. I also noticed I hadn’t seen as many black male miqo’te in-general, along with fandom stereotypes about catboys as soft. So I decided to design J’mor with that in mind--playing him as a very shonen kind of hero while the beard brings an extra bit of hardness to his features.

Asah’zi/White Mage Miqo’te: Asah’zi is another case where I wanted to challenge the idea of male miqo’te as soft, and I added to that challenge by making him a white mage when that is often filled by lady characters. I was also interested, lore-wise, in the tension between Keeper of the Moon tribes and Gridania (where white magic has very strong ties). That Keepers of the Moon are also very matriarchal gave added interest for me making a more rough and traditionally masculine-feeling white mage sort, especially since Keepers often build a lot of their lives around hunting through the Twelveswood. I also wanted to bring some sense of druid into white mage as a job, given the nature ties. With Asah’zi, using skydruid skins, claws, a wooden cane, and on all contributed toward the vibe I wanted to build for him. Using emotes that show off his fangs helps bring a bit of cockiness to him too, which is fun. And stealing Thancred’s hair lets him have a bit of a roguish vibe lol.

Amir/Dancer Highlander: Like I said, I tend to go for bishonen-sorts in designs a lot. HOWEVER! I do love this highlander face type specifically a ton, and think guy highlander proportions are well-balanced overall while being beefy. I knew for a while that I had a specific design I liked a lot for male highlander with Amir, and I definitely wanted to do something with him. The choice to make him a dancer specifically came from a conversation I saw just after the job’s release. An IRL male hip hop dancer mentioned feeling a bit bummed out because a lot of the animations felt like they played more to softness/grace and traditional femininity, and he’d been hoping for the option of a little edge with battle dancing because that’s what he does. Some players said he should just play monk, others were kind of mean to him and acted like what he wanted was somehow shitty. I felt for the dude to be honest since he was coming from a place of feeling frustrated by stereotyping, so I decided to look at the animations and see how much they could be integrated into a design that felt more traditionally masculine. I saw a lot of bright greens (especially with the peacock feathers) so I tried to unify that with a green glamour. The mask reminds me of rave aesthetics a bit, and I’ve seen dudes wear shorts similar to the Nezha ones before. I’m a big fan of the idea that fashion can be a way to create what you want tonally, and I tried to explore that in this design.

Navarre/Paladin Midlander: At some point it hit me that I have been avoiding traditional knight-in-shining-armor looks like the plagues in my tanks lol. This made me think a fair bit. What struck me was that if the only thing a glamour has to say for itself is “this is a knight”, that doesn’t feel so interesting to me. If it’s supposed to be a knight in shining armor specifically though, bringing an almost angelic, elemental feeling to the look is something I’m 500% there for. And weirdly, people don’t seem to do this as much. I’m less used to paladins compared to dark knights, warriors, or even gunbreakers--and since paladins are so associated with that holy knight-vibe I figured it made sense to go that direction. While I was looking into glamours, one thing I found was that a lot of them dyed with unchanging patches of black, had edgy red woven in, or otherwise came across as having been designed with dark knight or warrior in-mind. I decided part of what I’d do in this instance was really make a Warrior of Light who immediately screamed “yes I am the Warrior of Light” when you looked at him, and took inspiration from Cecil Harvey from Final Fantasy IV toward that end too. Every piece in this glamour was carefully picked not just for whether it worked as a silhouette, but also how it would dye.

Cesaire/Dragoon Elezen: Cesaire has gone through a lot of design phases. Initially he was a red elezen, because it’s a direction I don’t see used a lot but has a very doable fantasy feel I think is fun. Then he was a champagne/cream color all over as inspired by a particular breed of horses. Now, having put a lot of thought in, he is deep gold with blue eyes. The underlying concept for him was that I wanted to make a golden dragoon who looks like he should be terribly heroic, but then in practice he’s a kind of blood knight WoL who is about as close to Zenos as a Warrior can get without going outright evil. I played into gold and more general adventuring gear for the reason that I think Cesaire has absolutely left Ishgard behind him, and strongly prefers to be someone defined by what they do rather than where they’re from. Given elezens’ wide shoulders I also had to think about what combinations would work for balancing proportions, and I wanted Cesaire to visually hold his own visual niche within my overall Famfrit lineup so a lot was chosen with that in mind.

[ainarosewood]

FFXIVWrite2020 Writing Challenge-Day 10

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast​ @ffxiv-writers​

Prompt-Avail

So this has been inspired by the seventh story in Tales from the Shadows.  So placed beneath the cut for 5.3 spoilers and spoilers for said story.  This is about my WoL Aina as an the Amarotine Elpis (Greek Spirit of Hope.  Fitting imo for the WoL)

Grapes

Elpis strode into the Bureau of the Architect heading strait for the secretary that took business for the chief.

As she approached the woman straightened and gave a welcome smile, "What brings you here today Azem?"

"Could I have a word with the Chief please." she responded hiding her annoyance at the woman using her title instead of her given name.  Elpis knew it came with taking the seat but it was tiring how many called her that despite of her insistence otherwise.

The woman got up and disappeared for a moment heading to where Elpis knew was Hythlodaeus's office.

It took but a span of a breath before the woman returned and led Elpis to him.

"Elpis, " he said cheerfully, "Which world shattering concept do you need this time?"

The woman gave him a huge smile, of course he'd remember her preference for address.  She then sobered and said, "Ifrita"

She knew behind his mask Hyth's eyes widened in surprise, "Lahabrea's masterwork....what...."

Elpis removed her mask letting him see her concerned features, "There is an isolated island that is having unusual aetheric activity and an eruption of its volcano is eminent.  I plan to use Ifrita to prevent it."

Hyth touched his chin for a moment contemplating before asking, "Can I ask why?  Incidents like that are a part of the nature of the star...."

"Because some of the islanders would rather it didn't happen and they lose their life’s work to the whims of nature.  There is but one crop on the island an unusual variety of grapes unlike any other and it is the only place they grow.  The villagers have literally cultivated them their entire life to obtain a very rare and tasty variety."  she explained.

He grinned, "Well then of course you can avail yourself to Ifrita.  After all the concepts within these walls are intended for the benefit of this star and its people."

She replaced her mask and gave him a grateful smile, "Thank you Hyth, I'll also need one of my own concepts....one strong enough to defeat Ifrita once it aborbs all of the excess aether."

Hyth nodded then snapped his fingers, "I know just the one, oh and your most current concept has been approved.  I dare say it should aid you in travel  though I still have my doubts on its flight capability."

She gave him an impish grin stating, "Oh it can fly despite its appearances."

Hyth shrugged then motioned for her to follow as the both of them entered the restricted section of the Bureau.  Moments later she exited the building with three of the concept containment crystals in hand.  Two much larger than the other and radiating their respective aethers.

Just before she left he called, "Do bring some of those grapes back with you upon your return. I'd like to give them a try and some for Hades too."

She gave him a laugh and nodded, "Aye, I will for otherwise he'd never let us hear the end of it right."

Elpis knew Hades would probably have some choice words with them anyway when this was all said and done.  Sometimes the man was too dour for his own good.

Once outside she focused on the smaller crystal calling forth the concept inscribed within.  In a burst of aether a avian shaped magic appeared.  

It was taller than her and stood on a pair of three toed feet at the end of long powerful legs.  Yellow feathers coated its entire body and set of stubby wings graced its flanks. The concept had a beak that took up most of its head.  Chocolate colored eyes stared at her and deep down she wished that it could be a living being instead of a simple spell if it was she imagined the eye would be warm and expressive.  On its back was a saddle that held multiple bags which she put each of the other crystals on opposite sides of its flanks.

As she swung astride it she heard, "Azem?"

Turning she saw Elidibus the boy looking at her and the new concept a curious look in his eyes, "Off on another journey I presume and with such an unusual mount....."

She gave the young man a smile and nodded, "Concept of my own design actually.  Just got final approval.  And yes, I am off to save that island from its destruction."

Elidibus's eyes widened in shock and he blurted without thinking, "How?"

"I plan on using Ifrita to syphon away the excess aether and disperse it harmlessly elsewhere sparing the island."

"Why?" the young man asked curious

"Because the grapes grown on that isle are particularly delicious." she responded distractedly her mind swirling with plans and estimations.  

Swinging into the saddle she added, "Now if you'll excuse me I'd best be off there isn't  much time."

With that she urged the bird into a leap its small wings flapping swiftly to keep herself and it airborne.  Once in the air she activated  a teleportation spell and brought herself to said island landing at the base of the smoking volcano.

Reaching into the saddle bag she pulled forth one of the crystals the one containing Ifrita and intoned, "Mighty Ifrita, spirit of fire and destruction come forth."

A gout of flame burst from the crystal and turned into a vortex before her that coalesced into a large shape.  Goat horns swept back gracefully from the brow of the creature.  It was sinewy and scaled resembling an upright salamander in appearance.  Embers glowed in place of its eyes as it turned toward her.

Immense heat radiated off the the spirit and it almost took Elpis's breath away as she commanded it to absorb the surrounding aether.  Her focus was solely on controlling the creature for it was apparent to her that the slightest lapse in concentration would allow it to run rampant.

Once its task was done the mountain ceased to smoke.  It was a struggle but she managed to call the creature back into the crystal.  That  was overtly straining under the pressure of the spirit.  Swiftly she remounted her avian concept and teleported herself and it far out to see in a remote area with a single small island.

Once there she threw Ifrita's crystal down as it was begning to crack under the immense inferno within it.  Once again the spirit rose roaring in defiance as it manifested.  With out hesitation she pulled the other crystal from the bag grateful that Hyth had chosen her most powerful concept.  It was definitely going to be needed given what she currently faced.

"Child of the sea and stream.  Spirit of water, Kelpie come forth."  she called holding the crystal in her palm.

Moments later the sea surrounding the island appeared to take the shape of a colossal scaled horse.  She then willed it to deal with Ifrita.  The two titans clashed on the tiny island at first her concept seeming to not be enough.  She kept channeling aether to her creation in hopes of turning the tide.  Then just when all seemed lost Kelpie surrounded Ifrita in a vortex of water dragging the spirit to the depths snuffing it out.

All was calm for a moment then the island seemed to begin to shake.  Swiftly Elpis urged her mount higher and away just in time as the island split open and magma began spewing forth.  

Holding out her crystal once more and called upon the aether of her Kelpie concept drawing back within containment.  

Once Kelpie was safely stored away Elpis sensed out to see if aught of Ifrita remained.  From what she could sense it was not the case.  Its battle with Kelpie and the birth of the new volcano seemed to have dispersed its aether back into the River of the Underworld.

A good thing too, she thought grimly, Lahabrea needs to temper his creations a bit. That was by far to wild.

Elpis knew it had been a near thing once Ifrita had absorbed all of that aether.  Its power amplified it had sought to escape its containment sooner than she had anticipated fortunately she was always swift to act so it had not ended in disaster as it could have.

Now to return to the village of Baccus and inform them of the good news, and to get the grapes. she said to herself teleporting yet again.

************************************************

"Join us Hades," Hyth called cheerfully waving him over to where he sat along with Elpis who was leaning against a very odd concept.  In front of them was a basket piled high with grapes.

Shaking his head he strode over and flopped down next to the pair stating sarcastically, "I take it then your plan was a success?"

Elpis nodded, "Worked exactly like I'd hoped, though Lalabrea should learn to put some restraint in his concepts...it was no easy task putting it down.  My concept of a water spirit was almost not enough."

Hades snorted, "This coming from the woman who saved an entire island because the grapes tasted good."  At her confused look he continued, "Least that is what you told Elidibus."

"That was it...." she began, "Hmm I was in a bit of a hurry so I might not have fully explained."

Hyth let out a laugh at that and popped one of said grapes in his mouth, "I for one say if that had been reason alone it would have been enough."

Hades shook his head, "Honestly I swear the two of you don't take your positions nearly as serious as you should."

"Your wrong Hades," Elpis stated looking him square in the eye green catching gold, "I take my seat very serious.  What I had left out was the people of the island had spent their entire lives cultivating these grapes.  It is the only place where you can find them.  And they asked me to save their life’s work from certain doom."

Hades blinked a moment then said, "Forgive me then, my friend.  Though had you explained it like that to Elidibus I never would have said what I said."

She gave a sheepish grin, "I was mentally going over all I needed to do and trying to estimate how much time I had when he asked me that and I must have forgotten to give him the full explanation,"

Hades sighed in exasperation, sometimes the woman was as flightly as her favorite feathered friends.

"Hyth," he stated, "Hand me some of those and let me see if they are actually worth all of the aggravation its going to cause listen to Lahabrea whine about losing his 'masterwork."

As the man obliged him handing him large stem filled with the grapes he turned to Elpis stating, "And I won't be listening to it alone.  You will explain to him the full of why you needed Ifrita."

As he popped one of the grapes in his mouth she sighed and nodded.  He felt a grim sense of sastifaction at that and he did have to admit these were tasty.

[secret-engima]

Seer LC OC Intro HCs/Profile

-Her name is Cyra. It means “like the sun” apparently and I have no idea how to pronounce it but in my head it’s like SIGH-ra and that sounds pretty.

-Very inspired by V of DMC-5 who gave me the idea for an LC OC with a cane in the first place. Therefore she has very pale skin, black-blue eyes, and very wavy black hair. She keeps it cut short to like- her chin because it’s easier to manage that way. She also has some tattoos on her arms and neck, but I haven’t decided if they be dragon scales (in honor of her past life as an Au Ra) or something else.

-Is 4′10″ of pure sarcasm and magical intuition.

-Is a reborn WoL Summoner, but her memories are ... patchy and she tries not to think of them. She still has her Carbuncles tho so not everything is terrible.

-She’s the result of Regis have a drunken night with a very pretty Altissian woman when he was Altissia during the Road Trip. This is ... a mild problem for Cyra because Regis’s “date” that night was with a NOBLEWOMAN. Who was part of one of Altissia’s oldest (read: snobbiest) noble families.

-Noble Family Was Not Pleased. But Cyra’s mom never got Regis’s name, so they couldn’t track him down to insist he marry her, so instead they hushed it up and married her to one of their branch members who had black hair so they could pretend Cyra wasn’t an Oops Baby.

-Cyra’s parents are wonderful human beings. The rest of her family are Not.

-Cyra’s magic is Weird and it causes her Joint and Pain Problems that nobody can properly diagnose even if its provable enough and bad enough she gets medication for them, and since her parents have kept her magic a secret from the rest of the family for Good Reasons her cousins/aunts/uncles often make fun of her for it and insist she’s just trying to get attention.

-Cyra can and has smacked people between the legs Very Hard with her cane for saying this to her face.

-Cyra is aware that she has Seer powers in the form of a very annoying and heightened intuition that makes her do random stuff sometimes MONTHS or YEARS in advance for a Thing without ever telling her what the Thing is. She calls it Susurrus and perceives it as an annoying male voice in her head randomly giving her instructions/clues like the world’s most unhelpful game tutorial that you can turn off. Why Susurrus and why male voice? Because guys are annoying but at least they don’t screech like the harpies Cyra regrettably has to call her cousins next question.

-Cyra used her Seer powers and her own natural heightened intelligence/maturity from being a reborn WoL to escape Altissia to a fancy Insomnian college at 14. Proceeded to intentionally STAY in college until she was 18 and a legal adult so she didn’t have to automatically return to Altissia barring extenuating circumstances. Is now the tired owner of two Masters because Everything She Does Is Overkill.

-At 18 she opens a second hand bookshop-cafe on the very borders of Little Galahd even though she isn’t Galahdian because the rates are cheap and No Noble Would Ever Come There so she doesn’t have to deal with the gossip circles anymore. It has a surprisingly spacious two-bedroom apartment on top so her biggest issue is getting down the stairs in the morning (this is what her spare cane she always leaves at the bottom of the stairs is for, because warping is so much easier than stairs but shhhhhh).

-She names her bookshop-cafe Second Sight. Totally because she sells second-hand books and you use sight to read said books. Totally. It’s not a sarcastic and bitter jab at her own foresight. Totally not. Nope. No idea what you’re talking about.

-She meets bby Prompto when the boy wanders into her shop looking for a book. All her red flags go up because this kiddo is not dressed like he’s from this sector. How far did he walk to get here and where are his parents?

-He basically has no parents. They’re always busy. He lives in the empty house all alone 90% of the time while they do business trips and conferences.

-Well.

-Who wants to abuse her college connections, her vast array of Susurrus-spawned favors, and her noble family name (without their knowing) to take custody of Prompto and become a 19 year old Mom with Joint Problems?

-Cyra. Apparently.

-Meets Libertus a few years after the Prompto Incident when he comes sniffing around in hopes of getting a new copy of a rare book that got ruined (STOP EXPERIMENTING WITH SPELLS IN MY APARTMENT CROWE). Decides he LIKES this place because it’s quiet and calm and the tea is good and he can read in peace without worrying about one of his idiots crashing in or setting something on fire because they don’t know this bookshop exists.

-Cyra and Libertus get along pretty well. Prompto likes him too so that’s a bonus. They are Casual Friends who are maybe contemplating asking the other out on a date but haven’t worked up the nerve yet.

-Until one day he comes in to find her quietly having a meltdown in the back because her Jerk Family Head just called insisting she come back to Altissia to marry a NIF NOBLE. And if she doesn’t comply they’ll cut off her medical support (which she does need, she has medication to take for her chronic pain).

-Libertus would like you to believe he is the Braincell of his group. He really, really would. He is the mature, sensible one who does NOT impulsively jump into things.

-Totally not. Never an impulsive, life-changing decision in his life.

-On a different topic, he knows an officials guy in the marriage license office who does elopements for Galahdian couples that don’t want to bother with Lucian Wedding Nonsense and the guy owes him a favor and no matter what else is wrong with being a glaive, being a royal soldier means AWESOME healthcare for self and spouses and kids.

-Wanna get married to spite your relatives while simultaneously escaping their thumb and getting to keep your kid and your shop?

-Cyra uses her cane to pull Libertus down for a kiss. He’s assuming that’s a yes.

-It only occurs to Lib a week later when Nyx walks in on him packing his stuff to move to Cyra’s apartment (since a condition of the Healthcare Thing is that spouses have to be living in the same place and like pyre he’s making the woman with the cane have to walk up and down Little Galahd’s network of stairs and bumpy roads to get to her shop everyday) and demands to know WHAT LIB IS DOING that Libertus realizes he... forgot ... to tell Nyx. Or anyone else in the glaive other than Captain who is probably just now finding the paperwork detailing his change in status.

-....Oops?

-All the Glaive in Unison: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GOT MARRIED A WEEK AGO WITHOUT TELLING US????????

[autumnslance]

Not anon but I --5.25 SPOILERS-- would be interested to know your thoughts on the revelation about Midas being under Bahamut's control, especially with the context of trauma-altered memory. I've been pondering tinfoil about this reveal as some kind of subconscious & deeply ingrained coping mechanism for Cid to exonerate the memory of his father, even if a little bit... then again that might be my--FF7 SPOILERS--Cloud Strife brain cell talking.

Let me tell you what I wish I’d knownWhen I was young and dreamed of gloryYou have no controlWho lives, who dies, who tells your story-”History Has Its Eyes on You”, from Hamilton

In Stormblood, I connected George Washington’s song a lot to Gosetsu as he mentored Hien and the WoL through the Azim Steppe and Doma’s liberation, and then later in the patch content with the difficult decisions made in those story arcs.

In Shadowbringers, there’s a lot more emphasis on memory and stories, particularly in 5.2. So I’ve been thinking of that short but impactful song a lot more often lately, in regards to who has survived to tell the stories that makes heroes and villains of the characters. What perspective does the Wandering Minstrel--or Minstreling Wanderer--hear?

It starts with how since we arrived on the First, the stories of the Warriors of Light were twisted or lost, leaving the WoL and Cyella (and a few others among the fae and viis who remember) to try to retell them a hundred years later to reclaim the legacy of those five as the heroes they were, not the villains people have heard about. In 5.2, much emphasis is given tothe history of Archmage Tiuna, a hero of Ronka and past Warrior of Light. To the origins of the name for the “Isle of Ken” that hides Bismark’s presence, forgotten and unknown by most people, though the man lived just before the Flood. To the story of Minfilia’s rebirth over and over and what that meant for those girls, and the glimmer of hope they represented. To Gaia’s disjointed memories and lost past, choosing to look now to the future.

Of the Ascians own susceptibility to the vagaries of time and preference and some tempering, but mainly perhaps their own grief and anger as they look back on the halcyon days of Amaurot and show or tell us what their perspective--as the privileged leaders of their people, mind--recalls thousands of years later.

Over and over, the recurring theme of Shadowbringers is the choral line: Who lives who dies, who tells your story?

HOW do they tell your story? If they do, or can, at all?

In “Save the Queen” we learn about the memory crystals and another aspect of the Echo. Mikoto’s version of the Blessing lends credence to the various oracles and prophets Louisoix and Urianger studied. The relic chain also clarifies how the city introduction scenes in 1.0 worked, and the WoL’s interactions with/repair of Cid’s memories in 2.0 on the airship with the goggles. Here again, we go into our engineering pal’s mind, but this time in a controlled manner with guidance afforded by the crystal.

It’s terrifying in its implications and possibilities, as easily abused as it is helpful for dealing with trauma, which it seems is the main intention of the device and one’s Echo. Canonically, most people with the Echo naturally are written as people inclined to help others (even if they aren’t always very good at it, or go about it the right way, as we saw with Ysayle’s flailing efforts). Still, there’s an ambivalence to literally changing someone’s mind, though we try a few times in the duty to alter the memories--such as when soldiers are fighting rebels or cutting down civilians.

I had a friend watching me play for my reactions, and one that made him grin (I could hear it, Patrick) was when I got to the plaza with Dalamud overhead and “Answers” suddenly kicking in as the music track. The first barrier to getting to the end and finding out “the truth.” Cid lost his memory for five years after watching Dalamud fall and Bahamut rampage across the land. Altering the Lunar Transmitter was an emotional plot point in the Omega raids. It makes sense part of his nightmare would involve the satellite and the dragon.

There are a couple ways the reveal about Midas can go.

In Praetorium, Gaius alluded to Midas being tempered. It seems odd to have it “revealed” now, rather than “confirmed.” Except, do we really have it confirmed? We have Cid’s memory of his father acting strangely, disregarding scientific facts, shooting him--

--and maybe Cid needs an explanation for that. Maybe he latched onto Gaius’ insinuations in the Praetorium and his memories, already trying to protect him from the truth, used Gaius’ words to offer one last protection. “Your father shot you because he was tempered” and not because Midas was too far gone in his own obsession and loyalty, while young Cid was already wavering in how much he owed the empire, how much harm his inventions were causing across Ilsabard and Othard.

On the other hand, it’s often repeated the Echo shows the truth--not anyone’s perception or falsehood, but what really happened. Maybe, after summoning our own memories and inspiring our friend, after cutting through Cid’s self-defenses, we do, in fact find the truth in Gaius’ words: Midas nan Garlond was one of Bahamut’s first modern thralls. And that was a memory Cid didn’t want to remember, either, something just as hard to cope with as seeing his father on the other side of that smoking barrel. That no matter what, his father was lost, body and soul. Cid could never have saved him.

Either way is a very traumatizing experience and realization, and it’s no wonder his mind rebels so much we end up facing off against memories of Bahamut and Varis (to make up for never getting to fight him for reals cuz Zenos is a kill stealing lil--*cough*). There’s a lot of fascinating psychology here I am not qualified enough to go into further, but those are the two ways I see this particular story beat going.

History currently remembers one thing, but maybe Cid can still change the story, and his father will be remembered as another tragic victim of the Calamity, instead of one of its instigating villains. Maybe in a new story Midas can be redeemed and history will see things differently in a few years.

After all, one of Cid’s best friends is Jenomis--the playwright retelling the story of the Zodiac Braves and altering even the modern ending of that tale and what happened in Ivalice. Whose son wants to write about the Warrior of Light someday, to tell our story and determine how history will remember us. Meanwhile, young Azami is set to become Yotsuyu’s biographer, and Honoroit has already written about the adventures in the Sea of Clouds--a companion piece to the tale Edmont already told in Heavensward.

And in an alternate future that may or may not exist any longer, that history, that story, that memory, is the only glimmer of hope left.

As a writer and lover of stories, I think about these threads a lot through Stormblood and Shadowbringers.

[crystalliccs]

          FEELINGS TOWARDS THE PLAYER’S CHARACTER

Note: In case you do not like this ship I highly suggest you to NOT read this. This is my personal headcanon which takes ONLY effect in my drabbles and/or plotted and approved threads. I will not write him with these heavy romantic feelings in normal asks, non-plotted threads or when I do not get the approval of the mun; which also includes other muses besides the WoL, in order to not make people uncomfortable. I wrote this gender neutrally, since I believe the gender of the character has no influence on his feelings. ________________________

As young boy, branded to be the sole bearer of the Eye of the Allag of his father’s sired children, he had little in common with anyone else. He grew up mostly by himself, never having any friends to accompany him on his path of growing older – often only exchanging words with his father who knew of his fate. Who had to tell him the very truth his father had once told him whilst being a child himself. Unsurprisingly the young boy started to acknowledge strength and heroism more than anyone else; reading much about the heroes of eld whilst he relentlessly studied to unravel the very truth of his eye. His fascination for the Warrior of Light, the one hero as people had told him, mostly had his origin in his endless interest of such individuals. After all, in his young and reckless naivety, he was also striving to become one like them.

As their paths crossed over and over again, however, he soon realized that all of his skills – the many hours he had spent honing his proficiency with the bow – had been all for naught. His entire existence seemed pale in front of the one hero; and in some way he came to terms with it that his true destiny laid elsewhere. For two decades he had pondered why he bore the sanguine hue, what his destiny meant him to do; and as the opportunity rose to finally grab it, he did. ( See also: my drabble.)

Back then his feelings for the warrior of light had been naught but platonic – tremendously respectful even – remembering their kind confidence, their encouraging words. Without them believing in him, he doubted he could have done what he ultimately did. Yet the deep impact of these memories led his path further as soon as he was awakened in a long distant future; seeing naught but the destruction of the world he once loved, hearing naught but the very tales of these people he had once known – dead and cold. Naturally he had not expected to ever see them again – or to even open his eyes ever again for that matter – but learning of so much he had missed, of events which could have been prevented, utterly pained him. His mind, still young and naïve, suddenly had to face so many horrendous memories which attempted to break his very soul.

Like so many other of that age, however, he found hope and comfort in the many tales people still told each other during the chaotic, hopeless nights. And there was only one name which kept being muttered; the very name of the hero he once knew – his friend. Whilst opening the doors of the Crystal Towers for the researchers of that timeline, assisting them in fulfilling the final plans Cid had left for them prior his own death, G’raha also studied history itself; the many heroic deeds his friend had done during his slumber. Seeing the people’s smiles in these dark times, when naught more but a single spark was giving them hope, it was his hero’s smile he saw in them; the same determination, the very same resolve. Even generations later their kindness had reached their hearts; had given them strength to stand tall and stare at the endless abyss of the end of their beloved world. It reminded him of the very words he had received himself. The kindness they had granted him.

His feelings for a person long dead – one so very precious to him now, finally being able to see clearly what was in front of him – made him to believe once more. Albeit he also once more regretted – even mourned – the little time they had spent together. Had he truly been so very blind, concerned over his eyes and destiny that he had not noticed long ago? Had this excitement of his to discover the truth of the ancient Allag blinded him so that he had not noticed his feelings far sooner? And still, the outcome wouldn’t have changed. If he had not sealed himself away so very quickly, wouldn’t his friends found a way to stop him? Seeing the destruction of the Eighth Umbral Calamity with his own eyes, listening about Cid’s struggles in his final years to give hope of rewriting their history once more, he did not wish for them to end this way. If his sacrifice could help to prevent it, he would do it again and again – for all eternity.

As he travelled to the First within the Crystal Tower, missing the expected final days of this shard by almost an entire century, the young man immediately began to prepare the inevitable. And all this time, for longer than a lifetime, he could indeed watch them from afar – see it with his own eyes, although not with them directly, what the hero had done for their world. Perchance he should not have watched them as much as he had, but to see their face was rather calming and…inspiring. It did not take him long to know what he truly felt; that this ephemeral, painful and yet so very beautiful love for them resided inside his heart. So many times he wished to share their fate; if only to lift the burden on their shoulders for a little. He wished he could speak to them, openly, like they once did. He wished… to be with them.

However, knowing that his blooming feelings are unrequited – and futile, as he was also well aware – he had banished the chapter of his emotions inside his very heart, in the darkest corner he could possibly find.  After all who was he to so deeply love the one person who ignited the spark of hope in people’s hearts? The one person who had touched the souls of so many with their endless kindness and warmth? And albeit he truly wished for them to find happiness, after everything they had done, endured and sacrificed – no matter what their heart desired – he could not imagine that he could give them what they truly deserved. Not the very way he was now – and, truthfully, this was the only path he could take which ultimately lead them to a future full of hope.

He could not permit his own feelings to become an obstacle, preventing him from doing what needed to be done. What if his affections would transform into a leash, which kept them from spreading the spark of hope among the people? An unforgiveable thought, indeed – one which had troubled him many nights until he realized that he had to bury it all. Everything he felt - everything he imagined them to become for merely a moment - could not be allowed to exist. Not even for a day, not even merely in a fragment of time itself. Had they not suffered enough already? Losing so many, dear and unfamiliar faces, whilst he slept his imprisoned slumber? He could not beg his destiny to be changed; as he knew, deep within his soul, that it was the only way.

If the hero learned of this hopelessness which he had borne for so many years until letting these emotions wander off to the oblivion of his very own heart, would they pity him? Would they attempt to comfort him ere leaving once again? Knowing them all too well, after the short adventure they had together during the times of NOAH and the ninety years of watching them through the rift of the worlds, he was quite certain they would, kind as they are. But he would never experience such blessing; knowing that rising their awareness of his affections would only increase their suffering along the way. Another tragedy he wanted to prevent, as there had been too much of it already.

He had never intended to survive saving their worlds – he had never intended to become more than Unei and Doga, merely shades of their originals who both were long lost in their history. He never needed to be given a name; be called a hero. All he had ever wanted ever since he understood his destiny was to carry on those hopes, these dreams the people had entrusted to him after awakening him from his deep slumber – at the end of their world and time. He was the only one who could remember and honor them; who would remember the many generations to come who had not seen a future brighter than the rubble in front of their very eyes.

It was for this very reason he concealed his identity; less to deceive than preventing them to stray away from their path. Even if he revealed his face underneath the cowl, would they truly remember? The years he had been slipped from their memories and mind, only to be replaced by far greater souls than his own? Like this one noble knight of Ishgard who had sacrificed his very life for them? Oh, how much he wished to be able to do the very same – as final act of kindness, of redemption. One last proof of his feelings ere he finally could rest for all eternity. Nay, the man believed they would not remember him being more than a brief acquaintance. And he could hardly resent them for forgetting him. It was him who had lived more than an entire life to see what they had done to history, to the future and to hope. It was only him who had followed their movements, their impactful decisions. How could he not feel the way he did? After all they had done? The words of encouragement - of acknowledgement – he had received from them personally, long in the past?

He also did it for them. All of it. Bearing the heavy burden by himself, if he had to – bearing the dead’s dreams and hopes lest they had to bear them alone again since no one else could. And nonetheless… He had to ask them of so much. He had to ask them to suffer once again, to go through so much pain because of this plan of his. What else could he do than watching over them, remembering them to rest when needed? To give them support without ever voicing what his heart wanted to yell out loudly? Truthfully, to not reveal any of it was certainly the best approach, or so he thought.

His own humanity had been long sacrificed to the very beacon of hope, the Crystal Tower – one long century ere he could even face his beloved again. He far from being the one he used to be – the reckless young man who thought not so much about the future. The crystallization of his body became gradually worse over the years, spreading with each ticking of the passing time. It was not his high age which made him to painfully realize the limits of his current body – ultimately still bearing the very body of his twentyfour years old self – but the coldness he could feel filling his very limbs. By the time his hero, his true inspiration, was summoned to the First almost his entire upper body half, including his entire right arm, back, neck and parts of his thighs were already covered in the crystalline masses. It was the inevitable truth that he was unlike Emet-Selch not immortal; that he kept losing more of his humanity by each passing day. That ultimately, one day, his entire body would have transformed to cold azure blue, ending his very throbbing heart.

With the current state of his body his dependence on being present inside the Crystal Tower itself became almost inevitable, as staying too far from it was gradually worsening the pain and weakening his abilities. One century ago he might have freely wandered for several days without noticing any significant changes within him, but nowadays even one single day fatigued his entire existence. He did not dwell in any illusions about his condition – it was more severe than he allowed anyone to see. It was all a matter of time; the few years he might have left – years, he had never thought to see to begin with. Years, in which he might still be able to enjoy the face of his beloved for a bit longer ere he had to retreat fully, lest anyone would notice that he was standing at the brink of his own death. No, this was none such sight he wanted to give anyone dear to him; whether it was his hero or Lyna, who had become family to him.

For the same reason he kept silence once, he decided to keep this as another secret. He never wanted to be saved; he only wanted them to find happiness – somewhere, in a long distant future mayhap, even if it was not with him at their side. And oh, how much he would be able to stand there with them… And yet, he never wished for his own happiness. It was enough to see those around him smiling at a better, brighter future. It was enough for him to know…that mayhap someday, the hero he so much loved, could finally lay down to rest. Even if it meant to let his own feelings to rot and wither.

___________

Additional details concerning the end of Shadowbringers.

His resolve was certainly unbroken as he helped the Scions and his hero to create this gigantic Talos to reach the peak of Mountain Gulg – however, the strains and the amount of time he had spend outside the Crystal Tower clearly started to show despite his best efforts to keep them hidden. When he left Amity in haste, lest than more people noticed his condition, his fatigue claimed him and granted him the very same dream he always dreamt when closing his eyes on rare occasions. Through his awakened blood could always hear them – the many whispers, the laments, the hopes, the prayers of the ancient Allag who now resided inside his very soul. He did not expect the hero to find him resting, however, and as he awoke a rather pleasant opportunity rose. Truthfully, he had not expected to ever find time to sit with them ere he would finally close his eyes for all eternity.

Mayhap, only in this very moment, when he could clearly see the spark of concern inside their kind eyes, the slumbering part of his love and affection awakened. Knowing the hero would not leave without knowing that he was indeed well, he revealed for the very first time what he wished to conceal. The truth he had kept a secret for a long hundred years. The condition of his body, this one dream he wished to come true. Asking them to sit with him was bold, indeed, but perchance this was indeed the last time they would speak. The final time he could hear their voice…The final time he could listen to them speaking of the future they would create – together.

Oddly enough, he had also not expected the question to ever be returned. To be asked what he wanted to do once this was all over, knowing full well that his final day had arrived. Yet the very truth could not leave his lips, even now – only parts of it. Letting them see naught more but a glimpse of his true feelings, speaking about all the things his heart desired to do with them…How happy it would make him. Those were the only words of affection he could allow himself to voice, albeit he shouldn’t have – one they even might learn to understand, given the time.

He would rather die as villain than as hero, knowing full well that those are easier forgotten and forsaken. After Innocence defeat, G’raha fully intended to take his secret with him to the grave – all of his feelings, his plans for the never arriving future. And yet, perchance by some cruel twist of his destiny, as his identity laid bare in front of anyone, the feelings he had contained deep inside started to burst out like a raging wave. Knowing that this very spell would claim his life, leaving no time for long explanations, he laid bare of what he had hidden for so long. Final words of encouragement like he had once received from them – one final goodbye for the person he loved…Yet his life did not end just yet, with Emet-Selch preventing him to complete his spell.

As he was ultimately rescued from the Tempest, however, hearing for the very first time since one hundred years to be called by his true name once again – by the person who was the dearest to his heart – he could no longer hold back the emotions. How long had he been waiting for this moment he knew would never come? To be recognized, to be remembered? Did the hero truly remember the words he had muttered three long years ago to them as he sealed himself away? Had they…kept the memories as dear as he did, all the time? Always?

And albeit the joy filled his heart, preventing him to do more than to just smile at them whenever their gazes met each other from now on, he would keep the secret. Asking for naught more of them besides being remembered.

[starswornoaths]

A Shard of Eternity

This is my Secret Santa gift for my Secret Santa partner: @anpan-chan! @aetherstitch was kind enough to host a secret santa this year, and I’m delighted to be able to participate! I hope this is to your liking!!! \o/

nondescript WoL/Exarch, spoilers for all of 5.0 and the 2.0 tower raids under the cut!!! (I kept it nondescript mostly out of fear of getting your WoL wrong, but I am also more than happy to change anything you want!)

The first time the Warrior of Light is mentioned by name, it takes everything in you not to roll your eyes. Another high and mighty adventurer who got a little lucky here and there, from what you had gleaned from the whispers around Saint Coinach’s Find. It had bearing on neither your research nor your work, and so you paid it little mind and went back to your books.

Rammbroes interupts your reading, as he often does, asking you to scout ahead of this supposed Warrior of Light that is coming to gather what is needed to venture further into Syrcus Tower. You resist the urge to snort— scout ahead of a vaunted hero to ensure their safety? If they truly were just like the heroes in the fairy tales, it would stand to reason that this Warrior of Light would be more than able to handle themselves.

Still, the request does present an opportunity to test their heroism and cunning for yourself, and so you leave for the Shroud with a swish of your tail, a bow at your back, and a book tucked in the crook of your arm.

This Warrior of Light fancies themself a hero, do they? You aim to make them prove it.

**

*

They follow along with your little game of cat and mouse, despite how tired they look of it all from the first moment you call to them through the treetops. Halfway through the chase, you aren’t entirely certain who is the hunter and who is the hunted. It was...fascinating, seeing them follow your clues and give in to your goading with a dogged, foolhardy curiosity tempered by the sort of cunning that kept you on your toes, kept you scrambling to stay the more clever of the two of you.

You hate to admit it, but it thrills you.

Still, the thrill does not outweigh the promise of getting closer than you’ve ever got to unlocking the secrets of Allag, and so you reveal yourself with a flourish at the game’s end. The Warrior of Light is sardonic with their traded quips, barbless but all the same sharp as they are. There’s a cleverness to them, you note on your way back to the Sons of Saint Coinach, and the glimmer in their eyes makes you wonder how often they’re allowed to be clever. 

When you return to Rammbroes with your newfound companion you watch, a little dismayed, as that wit is hidden behind the mask of professional indifference, behind stoic nods and two word answers, because the hero is rarely allowed to be clever outside of their use. Seeing it happen before you reminds you of younger years best forgotten, where others would mock you for your red eye while manipulating you for your intellect in school. 

It’s almost frightening how readily you become the perfect picture of the hero’s merry companion, ready to catch some of the glory for yourself. Luck permitting, more than just some.

For you are G’raha Tia, after all, and aught less than being remembered in the annals of history for all time would just not do.

**

*

“Do you think yourself clever?” The Warrior of Light asks you one night at Saint Coinach’s Find. 

A glib answer dances on your tongue, ready to be used as a shield like you’ve done for years now against those who mocked your romanticism for fairytales and legends. Ordinarily, it is bittersweet, sharp cunning and bitter loneliness make for a poor taste on the palatte. But tonight, with the stars hanging heavy overhead and their eyes looking at you in that quietly ponderous way, you feel...safe. Safe enough to be honest, if only a little.

“I am all but certain of it.” You reply with a grin. “It’s kept me alive for this long.”

“Good.” They seem satisfied, nodding. “I think you’re brilliant, you know? For someone with the bravado you’ve got, though, you keep that brilliance quiet. Why?”

You are prepared for neither the compliment nor the question that follows, and it takes longer than you’d like to answer.

“I like seeing others be brilliant, too.” You finally admit in a soft voice. 

Because you do— and you’ve especially liked seeing their brilliance as they pushed through Syrcus Tower, through the mysteries writ in the pages of the ancients and scrawled on the walls of their tombs. 

Their hand on yours sends a shockwave through you— you had not expected touch, much less one so gentle from a hero so used to exerting great strength. Yet to look up at their bright eyes, you see a different sort of strength that you aren’t sure you can even name.

“I like seeing you be brilliant, too, G’raha Tia.” They reply quietly.

You tell yourself that squeezing their hand is just to calm your heart, and that looking up at the stars is because they are soothing, and not at all because you’re terrified of the warmth that suffuses through you. You pretend you’re not terrified of missing that warmth when the time comes to part.

**

*

You couldn’t resist sealing yourself away in the tower when the opportunity presented itself. Part of it was a want to be a hero yourself— after all the feats of great power, integrity, and heroism that not only the Warrior of Light, but those around them, exuded, you feel it only fitting that you be given an eternity to try and reach for the same heights.

“My destiny lies in the future.” You say with clear conviction, the doors closing in behind you.

Cid promises to work to build a future that you would be proud of, and it humbles you. The Warrior of Light’s eyes are so bright as they look at you, too bright for you to truly read. You feel as though even with eternity all but gift wrapped for you, you will never truly understand what they’re thinking. You’re all but certain that even given eternity, you couldn’t even find the words to ask.

“Goodnight, G’raha Tia.” They say in a soft voice, but the look on their face is one of pain.

You let their words carry you to slumber, and try not to think on how you might have hurt them. Better to forget. They will be gone by the time you awake, besides, you remind yourself somberly.

And you dream of tomorrow.

**

*

Tomorrow comes too soon, and with the smell of ashes, smoke, and ceruleum. 

The people who managed to crack into Syrcus Tower had scarcely even known to look for you, had thought mentions of you waiting like a sleeping prince high in his castle has been the stuff of fairytales. They look at you with soot covered faces and wide, haunted eyes, and you understand before they’ve explained anything that everything has gone wrong.

You just aren’t prepared for how thoroughly it’s all gone up in flames.

Even though you had accepted that you’d wake up long after your friends from the Sons of Saint Coinach and the Warrior of Light were dead, you’re still woefully unprepared to see their graves. Less so because of how they all died.

You’re told the Warrior of Light fell first, that the Black Rose had claimed them in the midst of battle because the Empire hadn’t been able to handle losing for once. It boils your blood, knowing they— and everyone they had inspired to fight alongside them— were slaughtered by a weapon with no counter. By a coward’s invisible guillotine.

It’s almost frightening how quickly you are incandescent with rage for them. For Cid, for everyone who had fought to keep Cid’s promise to you, robbed of the chance to do so.

The anger only grows in your breast as you read the recorded tales of the Warrior of Light, of one Lord Edmont de Fortemps’ account of how they ended the Dragonsong War, of Lord Hien’s illustrated tales of how the Warrior of Light liberated two nations from the tyranny of an Imperial Regime. 

The Warrior of Light, inspiration to all who met them and beyond, had become the sort of person you read about in texts of historical legends, in fairytales. A hero, in every sense of the word. 

They deserved better than this.

So you focus on the fact that, in some twisted way, Cid had kept his promise to you: the prospects of this timeline were bleak, but the collaborative efforts of everyone rallying for the sake of saving the Warrior of Light— a fable to these people for how many centuries had passed— showed you that perhaps there was still light within the shadow.

All the same, you would see this shadow banished before it was ever cast at all.

**

*

You try to commit to memory the names and faces of everyone who you left behind, being sent to the First. For a time, you manage most of them, though you are made to endure a century of waiting and planning, and by the end of it you have to remind yourself of your own name.

The Crystal Exarch? G’raha Tia? Was there even room for the both of you that now coincided in that half shimmering, half shivering body that was only yet half yours?

For all the knowledge of the Tower, you find no answer. So you ask different questions as you go: what will help the people in this world, in this moment? What sort of world did you want to present to the Warrior of Light when you see them again?

The Crystarium takes the shape, takes the light, takes the land around the Tower, and becomes a home to all those drawn to its hopeful, glimmering beacon. A monument to hope, in memoriam to hope’s greatest chamion.

You certainly hope that it is enough.

**

*

You had thought the years had tempered your arrogance, though with the five failed attempts at drawing the Warrior of Light to the First staring up at you in varying degrees of bewildered and enraged you realize, perhaps, that you were mistaken. Your research— ever meticulous, even a century on —had told you their names and what roles they had played alongside the Warrior of Light, before the Eighth Umbral Calamity.

You knew which one you could trust with the truth.

Uriangier seemed reluctant to agree to your plan of secrecy, but you recalled the tales of his false duplicity during the time during and after the Dragonsong War. You knew he would ultimately capitulate.

The others were more reluctant to trust— most ultimately didn’t at all. You couldn’t fault them, even if that had complicated the plan a bit.

They were like you: side characters to the hero. They would fall into place when the time was right, you were certain.

So you reached out a sixth time with a foci and an implanted dream in the Warrior’s mind, and pulled.

**

*

It doesn’t surprise you how reluctant they are to trust you, the moment you meet them at the gates of the Crystarium. It’s to be expected; even without five other instances to serve as warning, they were never ones to trust strangers with stranger powers than they had seen before. You suspect you are the strangest that have come across yet. It’s a little flattering.

Even as you welcome them, you note that their eyes rarely stray from the Crystal Tower looming overhead. It’s hard to tamp down on the ancient, buried hope that you were remembered, that you were missed. Surely you were but a blip on their radar, a passing ship in the eye of a storm they sailed straight into. 

You are scarcely through explaining that you came from the tower when you are cut off.

“You came from the tower?” The Warrior of Light’s wide, startled eyes snap to you. There’s something akin to a recluctant hope there, one you are reluctant to define. “There was— there was someone dear to me. His name was G’raha Tia. He sealed himself away in there. Know anything about that?”

There is a moment, only one, where you have to reconcile what you presumed and what was true. You don’t know what to make of the knowledge that, perhaps, you meant more to them than you had thought.

“I found no one by that name in the tower.” You dance around the truth with something that is technically not a lie. 

“And you’re certain there was no one named G’raha Tia in that tower?” The Warrior presses with eyes sharper than you remembered.

“No one that I found.” You reply, and remind yourself of your convictions as you move on.

G’raha Tia was not in that tower, after all, and had not been in some time.

**

*

“Do you think yourself clever?” The Warrior of Light asks you on the first night Norvrandt has had in a century. 

There is a moment where you are a century younger and have no other title than a name you were given at birth, no power but a bow at your back and an eye that you ache to see the secrets of, and you have to remind yourself of the years in your bones and the weight of the parts of you the tower claimed before you can answer.

“Just clever enough to get by.” You settle on, biting back words from a younger you that looked out on a starry sky like this one a world and a lifetime away.

You sit in silence that is both companionable and weighty. You can feel how many questions your old friend has for you, and you are glad they do not ask. You would not answer them, much as you want to.

You can’t. You mustn’t. 

So when they heave a sigh and rise to their feet with a soft, “Goodnight,” you pretend it doesn’t hurt that you can’t just be honest with them, knowing your heart so much better than you did when you were so much younger.

All the power in the universe at your fingertips, and still you can’t reach out to close the distance. You tell yourself that it’s all worth it, just to save them.

You tell yourself that’s enough.

**

*

The more Lightwardens they defeat, the more it’s easy to see them disappearing behind the blinding light they absorb. It frightens you, even as you try to put it out of your mind. They’re a hero, you remind yourself— and Uriangier, who comes to you in his own moment of doubt. They will be fine.

You will see to it yourself, even knowing what it will cost you.

**

*

When there is so little of the Warrior of Light left that they are scarcely able to stay conscious, when the skies are filled with light across all of Norvrandt as they are poised to become one of the very horrors they had been fighting against and all seems lost, you come to them. 

Your posturing as a villain is a poor showing, but you try anyway. It’s the least you can do, ease their guilt, help them not miss you or feel as though they could have saved you. They couldn’t. And you did not want them to.

This plan was too carefully crafted, too many years of waiting and scheming and lying have led to this moment. You will not falter. You will save them. It doesn’t matter that they see your face now and know your lies, know your secrets. You will not be around for the aftermath anyway, and they will all be free.

“G’raha Tia!” They cry out as you begin to cast the spell that will take the light from them. 

You hesitate. Blinking away the tears in your eyes you offer them the first real, genuine smile free of the cowl and cowardice. You tell them that it’s going to be alright. That they will be alright.

The sharp crack of lightning that broke the sky was not lightning at all, you realize when you felt your abdomen grow cold, felt the air leave your lungs. Your concentration shatters as you look down to see the blood blossoming on your robes like a lily.

You’ve been shot.

Attempts to regain your focus are fleeting and weak, weak like your legs giving out under you. No...no! You’ve gone so long planning, done so much and lost so much and hurt so much, it can’t end here! It can’t end like this!

You close your eyes and dream of tomorrow again.

**

*

When you are more aware of yourself and your surroundings, the Warrior of Light is healed, resplendent, more than you had ever seen of them before, and challenging the bringer of Darkness himself, Hades.

You will not leave them to fight alone. You refuse. Not again.

And so eons become instant, and the expanse contracts in the palm of your hands, and you bring forth other heroes from other stars, people who might uplift the Warrior of Light in their time of need, that might lend their light to piercing the veil of black that shrouded them all.

And you watch them rise with a new dawn, triumphant and tired, taking in their greatness like the merry member of their band you had always wanted to be.

“Good morning, G’raha.” They tell you, and you can’t see them for the tears that come. 

You didn’t even know you were waiting a century to hear them say that, after all.

**

*

The bedlam and joyous shivaree of the celebration that night in the Crystarium is a distant roar as you stand on the balcony beneath the stars but above the din of festivities. Close enough to the merriment that its energy vibrates beneath your skin but not so close as to overwhelm you. About as close as you’ve let anyone in, save your granddaughter.

When the door behind you opens, you are not surprised to see the Warrior of Light slip out to join you and shut the door behind them. Much as the sight of them fills you with a sort of deeply instinctual fear and need to run and hide, you tighten your grip on the balcony railing and rally your courage. They deserve your honesty, they always have, but especially after everything that’s led to this moment.

“I’d wondered where you went.” They say as they draw near. “Lyna was helpful.”

You want to laugh; of course your granddaughter would ensure you are properly taken to task for your behavior. Doubtless she’ll flog you herself when she has the time. 

“You have me at a disadvantage.” You say, unsure of what other words you could even offer.

“A welcome change of pace, then.” They reply with a wry twist of that clever mouth of theirs.

That overwhelming need to hide takes you again, and you can’t help but reach up for your hood to pull it over your eyes. It shocks you to your crystalized core when they reach out a hand and wrap it around your wrist to stop you.

“G’raha.” They say, and something ancient and aching and lonely quivers at that. “Don’t hide from me anymore.”

When they pull you toward them and press their lips to yours, you find you have no ilm of yourself left to keep from them, and you sink sweetly, softly into their arms with clutching hands and a century of desperation. Ever the hero, they keep you from falling anywhere but for them, exactly where you’ve always wanted to be.

[nadana-vhet]

Prompt 01: Crux

Final Fantasy XIV Rating: General Audiences Relationship: WoL x Alisaie Leveilleur Shadowbringers spoilers ahead! And so, with the possibility of her premature death all sorted out in her head, there was something that was bothering her even more than dying before she could even reach the ripe age of eighteen: whether or not to tell Alisaie Leveilleur that she was in love with her.

Crux

The air in the room she paced back and forth in felt tight and warm, though she wasn’t sure if the heat was because of the temperature or her nerves. She had been watching out the window for hours at the progress the people of Norvrandt were making on their ambitious project – a golem of all things, to pluck Mount Gulg from the heavens itself. It awed her – their drive and perseverance to see a project so seemingly impossible to the end. It shouldn’t have surprised her as much as it did – she had succeeded in plans that seemed much more impossible, after all.

But nothing was more impossible than the conundrum she was facing now.

The poor miqo’te had been weighing her options for longer than she cared to think about. She was almost certainly about to face her death - and a very painful one, at that. Y’shtola and Urianger had delicately explained to her the possible consequences of absorbing so much light aether in terms that she could understand. Despite being an apparent powerhouse of the stuff, she could never quite wrap her mind around what exactly it all meant. They had tried to assure her that they would do everything in her power to make sure she didn’t burst into flames – and she believed them – but she knew better than anyone that sometimes no matter how hard you tried, there are some people you just can’t save.

And so, with the possibility of her premature death all sorted out in her head, there was something that was bothering her even more than dying before she could even reach the ripe age of eighteen: whether or not to tell Alisaie Leveilleur that she was in love with her.

N’adana Vhet had been hopelessly in love with her friend for months now. Ever since they traveled together in Doma, spent countless nights together talking and passing out on each other’s shoulders, and leaning on each other after all the other Scions had been pulled onto the First – she had been a goner from the very start, even if she hadn’t seen it until now.

Now. she watched her bustle around the small village of Amity, leaning against the window frame, her white hair and red coat easily identifiable in the crowd of eager helpers. She couldn’t help but smile as Alisaie nodded towards a hyur woman and helped her pick up some boxes, filled with gods-knows-what supplies, and taking them across the town center as a part of a perfectly-oiled machine, people passing through each other as they went about their assigned tasks. As much as Alisaie complained, N’adana knew that she would do anything to help people in need. She had seen it for herself, held her time and time again as she sobbed and yelled in frustration at all the friends she couldn’t save.

N’adana didn’t want to burden her with another weight on her shoulders – guilt and regret about what she could have done or what she should have said. But at the same time, could she really deny it any longer? Let herself die on a world that wasn’t her own and never let Alisaie know how much she cared for her? Loved her?

The thought made her nauseous, more-so than the aetheric sickness that bubbled up as she absorbed more and more light aether. If her life is what it took to save the First and the Source, she would forfeit it in a heartbeat.

But what of the advice Shtola had given her in Rak’tika? N’adana had been whirring with anxiety ever since she had seen Alisaie again, and she may have let her feelings slip to Shtola when the older woman prodded her about the fact that she had mentioned Alisaie a good ten times in the hour since reuniting at Fort Gohn.

You are still but a child, Adana. You may have responsibilities as Hydaelyn’s chosen, but do not let that stop you from loving someone. Your love and compassion are what make you such a wonderful person, and is indeed what Hydaelyn must have admired most when she chose you. Do not repress what is most special about you.

Gods, Y’shtola really knew how to get in her head, didn’t she? She did have a point, N’adana conceded – if she was going to die before her mother even let her drink alcohol, then she should at least tell the girl she loved how she felt, right?

It was settled, then – she would go tell Alisaie right then and now how she felt before the whir of pre-battle preparations distracted them from any chance of speaking before the ascent of Mount Gulg. Her mind whirled with how she would approach the topic – simply laying out her feelings seemed the best course, and she mentally prepared herself for rejection. She made a mental footnote to stress the fact that she did not want pity – she did not want her final hours with her best friend to be a lie, forced to make her feel better or at peace before she succumbed to the Light.

Just as she was reaching for the doorknob to step outside, she almost ran into the Exarch as he peaked in to check on her. “Apologies, N’adana,” he backed up to give her space as she closed the door behind her, joining him on the creaking wood of the building’s front porch. “I came to inform you that preparations are complete. Your fellow Scions have already left to aid in the activation of the golem, and wanted to invite you to watch it with me from Amity.” She could detect a warm smile underneath his hood.

Shit, she thought to herself, heart sinking into her stomach. All she could hope for now was an opening to speak with her before the ascent and hope for the best.

“Sure,” she gave the Exarch a weak smile, walking with him towards the center of the small town to join the Chai’s to witness the golem rise from between the mountains. Despite how awe-inspiring the sight was, N’adana’s thoughts were clouded with what she could possibly say to Alisaie when they were together again, fighting alongside each other for possibly the last time.

It wasn’t until she was hiking up the steep hill towards the cluster of Scions – her Scions – waiting for her so that they could ascend the mountain together, that she felt an overwhelming sense of clarity. Her breath caught in her throat as Alisaie stepped out from behind Urianger, the wind gently tugging at her red sleeves as she waved at her.

Even though her feet were planted firmly on stable ground, she felt as if she was already standing at the top of Mount Gulg, her breath shallow and her chest tight.

And she was ready to jump.