#because apparently the gay little pirate show we all love couldn’t do the same. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

absolutebl · 1 year

Text

This Week in BL - Cameos & Familiar Faces

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized by favs in each category. No numbered lists anymore, tumblr be buggn'.

End of Aug Start Sept 2023

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 8fin - Oh the DRAMA. Why does the insane ex (my true love) remind me of the cartel leader from Romancing the Stone? Even the sides got HEA! It was fucking great!!!!! Charn remains a bonkers spoiled evil murderous brat with a cruel smile beloved by his one true paladin. Also: post it love note trope! Been a long while my old friend. NO SINGING!!!!! I do love that wedding jacket frock coat cape thing Charn wore.

In conclusion: This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character of 2023. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. Add that to several "singing incidents" and pairs being a little weak in the chemistry arena, and this lands safely in 9/10 territory. It’s tons of fun tho: HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Sat grey) ep 3 of 12 - This show is getting more and more lakorn each ep. Apparently the straights are having a class divide arranged marriage crisis. Who cares? Our boy is ALWAYS in trouble. Crazy that he has to save the people who betrayed him in a previous life - but I guess he chose revenge! That's unexpected.

Had to switch to grey and couldn’t find a working rip. It was frustrating and I wouldn’t have bothered except I like this show so much. Still, it means no screen caps because the rez is naff.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 3 of 12 - Uh oh. Kang wants to save Sailom and be his hero. The fact that K’s Pa puts no pressure on him whatsoever, makes me wonder if K's Ma committed suicide or something? It’s definitely the opposite parental dynamic we normally see in BL. I have to say, the pacing is great in the show. And the acting is on point. It’s really great.

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 8 of 12 - these two just kiss well. I mean not "rip your clothes off Taiwan-style," but sweet young boyfriends-esk. Joke wants to be claimed so bad. It’s great. I enjoyed this ep, unfortunately it looks like we have a manufactured angst drama drop in the next episode. Is this a 10 episode arc? I thought it was 12. It’s odd to have doom happening next episode already.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 4 of 10 - Back story time! Ray and Mew are HARD to watch. Incestuous friend group gay is the worst. Omg I got such QAF vibes from this ep. Nick Boston Sand chats = very throw back 90s gay soaps.

Location game moment: Top's hotel room is also Chan’s apartment in Laws Of Attraction.

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 1 of 8 - Ooo. Est is back! Hi handsome. Head of security suits you. Please lead out the new Waterboyy remake? You’re perfect for the role. (If it must happen.) Yi’s Pa is GREAT. Please give daddy a nice boy? Could that be our secondary couple for this series?

Meanwhile, with the leads (sorry I was distracted by daddy) we got us an arranged marriage, run away bride, and an amnesia trope. Put in a secret baby and it's squarely 1980's Harlequin. Will there be Vikings? Sex herbs? Pirates? Dub con?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 9 of 12 - Again with lovely sex scenes, it’s just the plot stringing them together is frayed. Also don’t fuck in an onsen. Both yech and ouch.

That goes for all y’all.

Wedding Plan (Wed YT & iQIYI) ep 7fin - Trash watch here! Honestly this was an okay ending, I’m not mad at it. If you can tolerate Mame and liars (kinda the same thing) you’ll be fine with this show.

Summation: An innocent wedding planner falls haplessly and hopelessly in love with a groom who relentlessly pursued him, even though he’s about to marry someone else. A somewhat lackluster mame offering with less of the usual stellar chemistry, but all of the usual lies and manipulation. 7/10

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I skip everything to do with Tammy and it’s fine. There’s only about 20 minutes of fine but that’s more than enough. On the bright side. So far. No singing.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 2 of 24 eps - Cassanova Begins Part 2. Aw. It was sad. Another variation on the “my ghost boyfriend” trope (usually sad). 2/10 I don't do sad BL.

Next up is Merry Go Round featuring the pair from Destiny Seeker (we likey) who want to marry each other, but end up fake engaged to the same woman. Beard squared? Looks silly.

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - There are 2 things I like about this. I bet you can guess what they are.

Lee Long Shi

The whipping boy trope

There wasn’t enough of either in this first ep. ALSO the captions, sound effects, and voice over are truly next level bad. Utterly atrocious.

The 2 leads fucking around in the end credits was the funniest part of the whole show.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thur Viki) ep 7 of 8 - I am confused and frustrated about what the communication delay is between the two Juns. It feels artificial and narratively manufactured. But since this is a short form KBL and I know it will be resolved quickly, I’m not as annoyed as I would be if this were Thai BL. Still it feels audience manipulative. I also feel sorry for Simon. BUT it looks like it’ll be a sweet boyfriends final episode.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 10fin - Omg they’re so cute!!! Taiwan the purveyors of ultimate sappy gay domesticity. I am going to miss having these to nonsencing all over my dash.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity. 8/10

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) eps 3 of 13(?) - I love the punching thing - there is a lot of violent flirting in this show. I’m not mad about it. Ugh, poor thing has real abandonment issues. And now trust issues. I see why we’re getting 12-14 eps. This gonna be MESSY.

Meanwhile, does EVERYONE have a guest cameo? Not that I’m complaining. Hi BLIHID boys! Now I need to rewatch that show.

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) eps 7-8 of 10 - Oh my God the next morning w/ couple 2 was so darn cute. They are all such terrible flirts with each other. Honestly, this show makes me laugh more than any other BL currently airing. I’m not sure it is meant to be as funny as I find it. While couple 3 (the mature characters) is by far my favorite, I actually think they don’t work with the other two pairs, they feel superfluous to the show. I like the show better because they’re in it, but it feels like two different BL‘s stuck together. KBL certainly can’t handle more than two couple threads at the same time.

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - Ugh. I am such a sucker for the FighterTutor dynamic. Why so good? Uh oh. Real kiss! KBL you're spoiling us. But, isn’t sad-seme-hyung dating some chick? Argh. Poor Sunwoo. This show is even worse at repping Fighter's character sympathetically. Who knew that was possible?

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 8 - The date episode! Even Japan is doing it now. And these two who have been living/fucking together for ages still dance around each other like junior high kids. I gotta say, I watch this one twice because Vicki has different subs from Gaga. I feel like it’s easier to understand if I watch two different translations of the same script. But it’s still quite a taciturn piece.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 8 of 12 - Sides are great. It was mostly a cute ep with tiny bits of Progress and a proper Confession. I miss Shin’s siblings. And then… the much loathed amnesia trope. Really?

Everyone say it with me: Must you, Japan?

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) ep 5fin - It ended happier than I was expecting. Optimistic for one couple, and most likely optimistic for the other.

Summation: What to say about this offering from Hong Kong? It’s different, a mix of early CBL, Taiwanese shorts, and Pinoy visuals. It felt like the story was 2 independent shorts that had been lengthen and then stuck together, and I wish they'd been approached as separate and tighter entities. Nevertheless, this was a complex little piece, interesting in a sweaty grungy way, with a certain aura of queer authenticity that made it simultaneously tense, unpredictable, and refreshing. I’m not sure I would necessarily call it BL, but any county’s early foray into the genre usually starts out this way, so perhaps nascent BL? Worth watching, especially if you enjoy stuff from the Philippines and Taiwan. 7/10

In case you missed it

Dinosaur Love ended its run but the final 2 eps are behind a paywall. Word on the street is they aren't good anyway (shocker) so I'm marking it as DNF and moving on with my life. If I can find em grey I'll watch 'em merely so I can give it a rating, but I can't imagine it will get more than 5/10. Seriously, do not bother.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Coming September

9/15 You Are Mine (Taiwan Gaga) Secretary has to deal with grumpy boss.

9/15 Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) suspected cinema release? I don't know much about what's going on. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency. Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf has signed up to star in this idol-based BL (based on a webtoon). They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/? Venus in the Sky (Thai iQIYI) 10 eps

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?)

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Hidden Agenda hitting us up with a hug + lap + kiss. Very nice.

I think these two might be GMMTV's best cuddlers.

Boys, I think your JoongDunk is showing.

(Last week)

153 notes · View notes

cristalknife · 3 years

Text

Kadam Week 2021 Day 1 ~ Do You Want To Be A Pirate?

So this is me trying to not start something on a platform only to post solely somewhere else aka AO3 and ff.net you can find the complete list of Kadam Week 2021 prompts and you might find more stories on the Kadam Week 2021 AO3 collection

That said, the fist prompt was Puzzles and Games. And what represents better both than a treasure hunt? So here we go, I present to you Do You Want To Be A Pirate?

All the student body was abuzz, the annual treasure hunt was to be announced soon, it was always a great event. Mainly because the winner of the event earned a full booklet of backstage passes. Sixteen of them, completely blank to be used at the winner discretion during the current theatre season.

No limits were imposed on how the passes were to be used, be in a single show with a large group or even touring all the shows solo. The catch was that if multiple shows were to be watched by a group of two people up, the winner had to be there for each show.

Those booklets were the courtesy of Alumni working in the field. And to be honest it was a fun event for the faculty as well to create the set of riddles and clues needed to reach the destination.

It was supposed to be a moment of fun, but at the same time given the kind of prize, it was not meant to be effortless.

However to the faculty disappointment, the individuals only rule with no cooperation allowed present in the previous editions, resulted in no winners for the past couple of years.

After consulting the sponsor, it was decided that for this year students could sign up as pairs.

But if the students decided to sign up as pair, then both the winners would have to be present each time they were to use the passes.

And apparently that wasn’t a condition that some were comfortable with, while others like Kurt were actually overjoyed.

Once he heard of the treasure hunt, he went out searching for Adam, barely containing his elation and desire to share the news.

Upon finding his boyfriend, Kurt was barely able to contain his excitement and he launched himself into Adam's arm sure he'd be caught.

Adam grinned and kissed Kurt back, holding him securely before saying "Hellu Love, what got you so excited?"

Kurt chuckled and as soon as his feet touched the floor once more he raised the flier and pointed to the fine prints "They mentioned a change in the rules and on this year’s event people can sign up as pairs. The catch is that both need to be present when using the passes, so you're game signing up with me?"

Adam raised an eyebrow curious before reading the flier aloud "The Annual Treasure Hunt? Is that what got you so excited? Except for my freshman year, I don't recall any of those events actually ever having winners"

Erika came up from the side and quipped "Three years ago was the last time someone won, but it was again one of the last seniors graduating. After that batch left, no one ever figured out the clues, I'm surprised the faculty still does it"

Kurt shrugged "Well the prize makes very much sense for the school, I mean blank passes for the backstage of current productions? That sounds interesting, and sixteen of them would actually mean we could all go together as a group and still have two spares for the winning team to get another show, or split between two productions..."

Kurt speech had most of the Apples smiling and send to their favourite freshie an adoring look.

Adam still amazed by his boyfriend asked softly "So you suggest a common effort and register more than one team, and then Apples parties at my place, where we could all chill out and talk about our days?"

JJ quipped up "Only if that involved baked goods from both our favourite bakers, because Adam ma man, I love your cookies but gimme Kurt's casserole and salty cupcakes any time, and I could even fight you off and offer my hand in marriage for having those every day"

Kurt snorted and swatted away playfully JJ's offered hand "You are not even remotely bi-curious, If I wanted to live with an overgrown kid who'd stay with me for my cooking I'd simply invite my brother to move in with me"

Everyone around chuckled at that and JJ pouted mockingly offended "Are you insinuating I'm not man enough for you?"

Adam then stepped in smirking "More like implying that all the main male leads in his life are already cast, and you dear friend can only be the occasional torn in our butt, one that comes every now and then to offer his company in exchange for delicious food..."

Grinning like a cheshire cat JJ quipped back "Well we all know that the good ones are all gay, unavailable or happily being both together"

Everyone broke down in giggles and with resolute nods each claimed a partner. The divide and conquer idea Kurt had was very intriguing, and the thought of getting the upper hand on an event that even the Perks couldn't get their way by popularity alone, or that no one else won for the past couple of years had its allure…

Especially given the mixed composition of techies and performers in their group.

Seeing Kurt smiling radiantly was something each member of the Apples enjoyed and cherished.

Especially since the big fallout, or as it was known amongst them, the great purge of the toxic influx in Kurt's life.

Also known as the day when Miss fallen out Diva Berry left the loft in a huff and Kurt and his roommate Santana took the storming out literally and changed the key of the padlock.

Sending all of Berry’s stuff back to the temporary storage place two blocks away from bushwick, with a 3 days grace period and a week paid with Berry's part of the deposit.

Kurt himself was just very happy to be surrounded by friends who supported him as much as he supported them.

Being with Adam and being friends with all the members of the Adam's Apples, had given him a perspective he never knew he desperately needed, and it also lowered his tolerance for taking crap by those who were supposed to be on his side.

Kurt was not secretly very excited by the prospect of looking forward to something in his life that could be just fun and despite being officially a competition. He was still able to live it as an adventure, to be shared with his boyfriend and all their friends as well.

As they walked away from the registration boot and reading the first clue ‘Every adventure needs a captain to sail for the treasure island’

Kurt giggle when Adam playfully whispered in his ear "Aye aye captain let's get our sea legs on"

Kurt nodded and they made it to the costume department through the back corridors, not wanting to tip off the other not Apples participants, while their friends instead received simply a gentle reminded in their text chat, that all hearties were to meet at rehearsal later in the week same place same time.

Indeed their guess was correct when they found the next clue stating ‘Never forget those who came before you’

Kurt and Adam took the chance to grab a quick lunch as they discussed the clue. Adam was the first one to attempt to solve it "If we are thinking about the school that would send us to the hall of fame"

Kurt nodded slowly but tapped his finger against his lips "But what if it's a more general outlook? We are learning to get into an industry that broadens beyond the limits of the school and its social circles, even if those are still important"

Adam hummed softly mulling over it "So you're suggesting more like the library?"

Kurt nodded "I'm just unsure whether we are supposed to search in the history section itself or go more for the history of Broadway and theatre section"

Adam nodded slowly "there's no rule about not searching blindly both"

Kurt chuckled and nodded as well, after finishing his cup he raised an eyebrow in silent question and received a simple nod in response.

Once in the library, Adam was the one to take over the history of Broadway and the theatre section while Kurt went through the History books.

It took a while but finally Adam was successful and found a piece of plasticised parchment with what appeared half of the final clue.

The mention of a second half made him frown, but with nothing else to be found there, he simply took a picture of it with his phone.

He then placed the clue back inside the book and the book back on the shelf before going to find Kurt, hoping his got lucky and found the second half.

"Did you get anything?"

Kurt shook his head a little put off "No absolutely nothing, you?"

Adam nodded "Yeah I found something but it's only half of the final clue"

Kurt frowned confused "Guess it's time to start some baking then hmmm?"

Adam smiled and leaned forward to give Kurt a small peck on his cheek trying to stop the frowning "We could do directly at my place and then make an evening out of it"

The offer, as Adam hoped, brought a smile on Kurt's face as he replied coyly "I'd love that, are you offering just the evening or it could turn into a sleepover"

Adam grinned and moved so that he could kiss those cheeky lips, when he was almost where he wanted to be, he breathed quickly "We'll swing by the loft if there's something you absolutely need for tomorrow classes"

He then proceeded to thoroughly kiss his boyfriend.

After classes ended for the day, Kurt sent a message to their chat group informing everyone that it was baking time in the afternoon

Adam raised an eyebrow curiously at the message and Kurt shrugged stating simply "That way we can be sure basically everyone will show up with something to contribute, just before or around dinner time, and then the meeting will become a movie night"

Adam snorted because indeed knowing their friends that was what would most likely happen, "It wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I offered to make an evening out of it darling"

Kurt grinned, mischief gleaming clearly in his eyes "That's why I raised your offer to a sleepover instead..."

And true to Kurt's expectations, that evening all the Apples who didn't have to work, appeared at Adam's doorstep with offerings for the shared evening meal.

Of course those who had worked demanded a do-over with double baked goodies of their faves as personal share...

Once everyone was seated around, Paul, who paired up with JJ for the treasure hunt, asked "How was your hunt we've only found half of the final clue"

Kurt wrinkled his nose "we reached only half of the final clue as well care to see if we've all found the same half or if we lucked out?"

Adam took off his phone and started to read aloud "Congratulation adventurers, you're holding half of the treasure map holding the clue for the final answer you will have to give to someone to receive your treasure, think back on the steps you took to find this and then go and find the last missing piece"

JJ jumped up from his seat exclaiming excitedly "Yes we've got both!"

Paul shook his head smiling and took off his own phone reading "Congratulation adventurers, you're holding half of the treasure map holding the clue to figure out who is the officer that you'll need to impress with the answer that you still need to find to receive your treasure, think back on the steps you took to find this and then go and find the last missing piece"

Everyone was suddenly buzzing with unrestrained excitement when Kurt asked pragmatically "So how are we going to tackle this? Reading both clues together and then split between them or focusing the attention on a single one?"

Adam suggested swiftly "We could actually read them both and then see how to tackle the easier one first"

When everyone nodded Paul continued reading their clue "You might go to Central Park Or catch a show on Broadway... Where in the world would you be to get to these by subway? Twice... I mean the answer is New York clearly but how does that help us identify who to give our final answer to?"

General groaning raised from around the room when Erika cut in "Adam what is your clue?"

Adam complied and read it for everyone perusal "What show is next in this pattern: A Chorus Line, Into the Woods, Bat Boy, Pacific Overtures, Little Women, Damn Yankees, Camelot, The Pajama Game, Children of Eden. As a hint, there is more than one show that correctly works, but one show fits more ‘perfectly’ than any others.”

Adam raised his phone to let everyone seeing the picture and commented

“As a side note there's only one blank line but its length doesn't seem indicative as it was formatted to look good rather than give a hint on the last name, or at least that’s what it looks like to me"

And everyone had to nod at that consideration at that point Chris' groan was the loudest "I don't get yall, neither of those is any more clear than mat moss paint..."

Kurt sniggered but offered a plate with Chris' favourite cookies on it "It's ok, we can work it out together so any ideas?"

Matt who had been quiet this far asked Kurt speculatively "You already have an idea for at least one of them don't you?"

Kurt looked taken aback and blushed getting himself busy with the food "Nothing solid.."

At that point Adam walked behind Kurt and wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist as he pressed himself against his boyfriend "It's ok Love, you don't have to be right to speak your mind, we are here brainstorming there's no judging with us"

JJ quipped teasingly "I mean we'll obviously judge and tease you till the end of times for getting flustered the first time we took you out for blow jobs, but for this… I mean you're all going to hearing the suggestion my gorilla brain comes up with"

Chris snorted and quipped teasingly "Given what gets spawned out of your mouth I thought you would have said instead that yours is like a pig’s brain."

Matt joined in to the teasing, shaking his head as he grinned salaciously and wiggling his eyebrows "Nah a pig's brain is too big we are talking mouse if everything is in proportion."

Kurt coughed at the double meaning implied in that sentence, he feared JJ would take it badly. But he was once again surprised when JJ put theatrically one hand on his cheek, the other on his chest clearly mimicking a delightful surprise "Oh Matt, my darling why didn't you said that before… All this time you were checking me out because you wanted some of my sweet sweet love, comma hear lemme give ya some sugar baby"

Everyone erupted in laugher and Matt maturely threw his napkin aiming for JJ's face "You wish man, you wish"

JJ pouted "Harsh dude, harsh, you could have at least throw your cupcake with the napkin"

Kurt sent a levelled glare to both boys "If anyone dares to throw our delicious baked food not only they will stay for the cleanup, but they will be banned to get more baked goodies for the next month"

A single "Ouch" escaped Matt's lips before he silenced himself and raised his arms in surrender.

Paul swatted the back of JJ's head "Don't upset daddy, or I'm so going to gag you next time we are all in the same room to prevent that from happening, I rather enjoy our baked goodies"

Erika quipped at Paul "Which is why you shouldn't save JJ from himself, let him dig his own grave, more goodies for us... Kurt had not said anything about lowering the amount of baked goodies, only put a ban on who can access them"

Chris chuckled and offered their fist to Erika, as they said grinning "Well said girl well said"

Erika smiled brilliantly and bumped the fist and then both made an explosion motion as they both retreated their arms.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at being addressed as daddy, but Adam just held him a little closer and mouthed later.

So Kurt took the handle of the situation and started sharing his idea hoping for the current teasing to come to a natural rest "well I was thinking on Paul and JJ's clue... What if we need to take that final twice literally? As in the correct answer is New York, New York"

Erika's eyes shone brighter "Like the Scorsese's movie?"

Kurt nodded "Yes that's also the name of the most known song from that movie, so New York New York could be the solution"

Paul pondered and then said "Well if we are talking about a movie would that mean that we are to talk with the dean of the drama department?"

Kurt bit his lips and then he continued explaining his thoughts "I was thinking more about the fact it might refer to the song, which then in turn would make Madam T be the one to speak with, given that she's the dean of vocal performance. And with the movie being also a musical maybe the singing component is more pronounced and would lead to her instead of Mr Keller?"

Adam then said serenely "Once we figure out the answer we could even decide to split and each team going to both of them with the solution."

Murmurs of agreement run through the room until Matt stated "So now we just have to figure out what that list of musicals have in common?"

JJ scratched his head before raising and grabbing few more cupcakes to munch on "Do you think that the fact they cross two centuries means anything?"

Chris promptly opened Adam's computer and pulled up the wikipedia pages of all the listed musicals before shaking their head "Nope they are not in chronological order so it’s not that"

Paul then quipped "And that wouldn't make any sense, the additional hint says that there's only one answer that would fit perfectly... it's not like there's only one new musical coming out every single year"

Erika asked then "I am not familiar with all the titles but are they really all musicals?"

Adam answered "Yeah all of those listed are musicals, so maybe we need to check on the songs?"

Matt then wondered aloud "What if it's something all the songs have? Maybe there's a matching title or a recurring theme?"

Kurt took out his phone and looked around and said "well there's seven of us and nine titles maybe we could each open the list and check them side by side?"

JJ grinned and took out his phone as well "That's a great idea"

Kurt started listing all the songs of chorus line, Matt went on with the ones from into the woods, JJ giggled like a maniac as he read the bat boy's list. Paul read on the Pacific Overtures and Erika listed the ones from Little Women.

When Adam, who was reading from the Damn Yankees, reached the song titled Six months, Chris exclaimed excited while raising a finger silently asking for a moment "Holy moley I think we got something going here"

Everyone turned, waiting for more explanation that Chris promptly provided "Each of those musicals has a song with a number in their titles" and then they pointed to Kurt who quickly caught up and said "One" and then each proceeded in order Matt said "It takes two", JJ said excited "Three Bedroom House "

Paul grinned starting to see the path as he said "Four Black Dragons"

Erika was grinning madly as she said "Five forever"

Then JJ still super hyped by having discovered the key to decode the clue he asked Chris "So what are the others?"

Chris smirked and started prattling "In Camelot we have ‘The Seven Deadly Virtues’, The Pajama Game has a song called ‘7½ Cents’ while the Children of Eden has ‘A Piece of Eight’”

Kurt hummed softly and considered aloud "So we have nine musicals mentioned but the last number is eight... What if they had already given us the answer and it's literally Nine?"

Adam whistled impressed "That actually makes so much sense..."

Paul groaned "And if you explain it like that it seems so obvious too"

Erika shrugged "All riddles once explained make so much sense that you usually feel stupid for not reasoning it out before... That's why they are considered brain teasers"

Chris who in the meantime checked out Kurt's suggestion finally quipped triumphantly "That's it guys, we have a winner the answer is indeed Nine, which has a song called guess what?”

Chuckling everyone said at once “Nine"

JJ then scratched his head and then asked "So now we are only unsure on who we need to tell our answer to?"

Paul quipped happily “Me says Adam and Kurt follow Kurt’s reasoning, we follow ours, that way if our suspicion is correct and Kurt is right it’ll be them and not us having a private date… No offence man but I’d really prefer not having my girlfriend gutting me for going out on a date with you”

JJ snorted before sounding almost genuinely upset “Harsh man, harsh”

Paul patted JJ shoulder when Kurt asked confused “But what about the others?”

Matt answered smiling “Kurt you four are the only ones who got to the final clue, I personally wouldn’t like to try to get the prize knowing I barely got to the second one.”

Chris and Erika nodded as well confirming they felt the same way.

Kurt felt relieved that he wasn’t taking advantage of his friends. With everything sorted out, everyone else left leaving just Kurt and Adam alone.

After they settled down Kurt turned to Adam, with a questioning look on his face before asking “Is now later? Do I get to know what the daddy comment was about?”

Adam chuckled softly “Nothing bad Love, I can assure you that, you know that I’m considered the mother hen of the group right?”

Kurt hummed softly nodding as he snuggled closer to Adam who then continued “And well you’re too sweet and kind to all the Apples to be considered a father, but still we are together and we both tend to take care of them so…”

Kurt chuckled and finished shaking his head “So I’m daddy… Not sure how to feel about having so many kids that are all older than me”

They both sniggered at that.

The next day, when they went talking with Madam Tibideaux, they discovered that indeed Kurt’s reasoning was correct, and they got out of her office with the prize and matching grins. ~The End~

#kadam week 2021 #kadam fic #kadam #glee #glee prompts filling #my kadam fic #my glee fic #treasure hunting #riddles #long post #it's a fic what did you expect #my writing is not suited for tumblr #~3.8K words of story #I tried my best formatting it #vcg73

7 notes · View notes

fandomlurker · 4 years

Text

A Ponderous Rewatch: Battle for the Planet and Cameos

You know, I keep trying to be minimal with the amount of images I put in these posts, but I think it’s kind of a losing battle…especially when it comes to episodes animated by TMS like the second one coming later on today. I can’t help it, some of the expressions and poses are just too good to not be shared.

In any case, let’s begin with one very small cameo appearance in “Space Probed”:

Our little duo have apparently found themselves abducted by aliens, only to be kept in lab conditions much like the one on Earth at ACME Labs. This is one of those times where I wish I could know the production order of these episodes and not just the air date order… Why? Well, because this small cameo could potentially line up really well with an upcoming episode. Just keep that in mind for now.

With that out of the way, we move on to our next full skit:

And we begin with the Brain expositing to Pinky about how he came up with the plan for this episode.

“Halloween, Pinky: 1938. Mercury Radio Theatre presented an adaptation of H. G. Wells’ ‘War of the Worlds’ that was so realistic, people actually fled the cities believing that creatures from Mars were attacking the Earth. It proved that radio was a powerful tool…and now, Pinky, the advance of technology has brought us an even more powerful tool. Do you know what that is?”

Before we move on, how many of you reading this have heard about this? And how many of you know that this is actually an incident that happened in real life? Yes, people actually fled their homes after hearing this broadcast. Not a lot of people, of course. Not by a long shot. Most just made panicked phone calls to their local police station or to the radio station itself to find out what was really going on. The incident also wasn’t nationwide or anything like that, it was quite local. If anything, the radio play caused much more outrage after the fact than initial panic.

Another amusing anecdote is that Orson Welles was the man who directed, narrated, and played a main character in the broadcast. For those of you who may not be in the know, although Brain was initially based on animator and writer Tom Minton at Warner Brothers, Brain’s voice actor Maurice LaMarche based his voice on Orson Welles. Or, well, as Mr. LaMarche puts it: “The Brain is 70 percent Welles, 20 percent Vincent Price, and I don't know, there's another 10 percent of something else in there. I don't know what. Some people think it's Peter Lorre. I don't know what it is.”.

Strong references aside, I’m betting most of you can see the massive holes in the Brain’s plan already. Hoo boy…

“Umm… The rubber band?”

“The workings of your mind are a mystery to me, Pinky.”

“Ooo! I love a good mystery, Brain!”

You know, this little sequence with Brain nonchalantly stretching the rubber band while walking away from Pinky and Pinky determinedly holding on until Brain lets go off camera and sends Pinky flying is… Well, I don’t know what it is about it, but it’s kind of cute in a weird slapstick way? Like, it’s hard to tell if Brain did that on purpose to send Pinky flying for not understanding his plan…or if he actually wanted Pinky to follow him and tried to lead him to where he was walking but Pinky thought it was some kind of tug-o-war game and Brain got exasperated and let go of the rubber band.

Either way, Pinky doesn’t seem to mind.

“Television, Pinky, is our new tool!”

“We will pirate the airwaves and stage a hoax like ‘War of the Worlds’!”

Brain, you’re very good with that lasso. I’m impressed!

“Three cameras, Brain?”

“Yes… A technique pioneered by the great Desi Arnaz. And with them we will scare the people of the cities, leaving no resistance behind. We will have taken over the world!”

Well, Brain, that technique first being used by Desi Arnaz is a myth (it was more than likely actually pioneered by Jerry Fairbanks around 1947), but I’m going to give you a pass on this because you likely couldn’t fact check this very well at the time.

I do have to give Brain credit for being as dramatic as possible while announcing his plan, though. He really does know how to put on a show.

“Egad, Brain, brilliant!”

And Pinky is, as usual, full of praise and extremely excited about the plan. Look at him clapping and hopping around, aww… I’m starting to think that half the reason Brain goes through with these long, expository explanations of his plans to Pinky despite Pinky not quite following along a lot of the time is just to impress Pinky. Brain needs reassurance and Pinky always provides.

“Oh! Oh, wait, no, no…”

“Why would they be scared of us? We’re so small and we’re practically the size of mice, Brain.”

“We are mice, Pinky.”

“Oh, right! Well, there you are, then. Eh heh heh…”

…Okay, so, Pinky also tends to deflate the praise a bit when pointing out potential flaws in the plan like this, but it’s the initial thought that counts.

Yeah, I know, Brain. I know. But Pinky really is trying to be helpful.

“It’s not a question of size, Pinky. It’s a question of scale! Watch the monitor.”

“*gasp* Zounds, Brain! You’re gigantic!”

“Television, Pinky: The Great Deceptor!”

“Narf~…”

No, you aren’t seeing things. Pinky just…just stands there in front of the TV looking at live footage of a close-up of Brain and sighs in awe and affection while clasping his little hands together. I don’t even think I need to make a “Fellas, is it gay to--?” joke here. All that’s missing is little hearts appearing around his head.

We cut to a little while later, where the duo has everything set up for their broadcast. It looks like Pinky must have done the lettering for their props, since it actually looks decent and nothing like Brain’s scrawlings. Yes, I’m going to continue roasting Brain’s terrible penmanship. It amuses me.

“How is my disguise, Pinky?”

“OH! Is that you, Brain?!?”

“You flatter me, Pinky. Now, throw the switch and let us begin…the Battle for the Planet!”

Title drop! Also, aww. To be fair, Brain, I’m not sure Pinky was intending to be flattering so much as he was actually unsure if that really was you or not. But the fact that you took it as flattery is very telling, I think.

Pinky throws the switch, and the plan is officially underway!

According to the Animaniacs wiki, these people bear a striking resemblance to Elmyra’s family. If that’s what was intended, this is quite the early omen for the horrible “Pinky, Elmyra, and the Brain” spin-off that was made after the regular PatB spin-off. I don’t think I’m going to fully cover that show in the far future. It’s not the fun kind of terrible…it’s just terrible.

Oh hey, they were watching Family Matters! Too bad this is many, many years before they could bear witness to Dark Urkle Tribute.

And there’s Ralph, enjoying coffee and a doughnut.

And…some TV station broadcast folks. It kinda bothers me that these two basically have the same model except for different hair colours.

“We interrupt your regular broadcast to bring you this important news bulletin…”

“What is that?!”

“Someone’s pirated the TV lines!”

“Scientists have just reported that a large, unidentified flying object seems to be heading towards Earth. There is no cause for alarm…”

“…But there probably will be.”

Subtle, Brain.

Oh, hi, Warners! You certainly picked a good time to escape tonight.

“We take you now to our satellite view of the planet, perhaps to catch a glimpse of this fearful courier of the unknown.”

Cue Pinky making ridiculous “shoosh” and “shoom” and “weee!~” noises. Very convincing.

“I’ve just received word that the UFO is about to crash land nearby. There should be a great explosion!”

“I said, THERE SHOULD BE A GREAT EXPLOSION!”

“Hmm? Oh! OH, right, Brain! Narf!”

Nice blep, pinky.

Somehow, people watching the broadcast are still terrified. I’ve gotta admit that I didn’t expect this plan to go this well for this long.

…Okay, maybe I spoke too soon.

“Sorry, Brain…”

“…We’ll go live to the crash site momentarily.”

He says before near-instantly cutting to the “crash site”, still in the same disguise. Brain, honey, I know you’re probably trying to reduce broadcast downtime so that the audience doesn’t start to question what they’re seeing, but you do know that quick cuts like this ruin the illusion of this being a live broadcast…right?

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course he doesn’t know that. As usual, Brain has tunnel vision and expects his plans to go one certain way, and any details that don’t fit his internal narrative are discarded or not even thought about.

Just let me slide on in…

“I’m reporting to you live from the crash site and I…I’m at a loss for words. Can we get a shot of this very frightening scene?”

He’s right. That’s the most frightening…ly obvious cardboard spaceship I have ever seen.

But okay, I love these tiny prop improvisations they had to do. The bare cardboard wings taped to some kind of spray can for the body of the ship, a stray water cooler cup for the cone, test tubes for the thrusters, random little sewing pins for some kind of antenna, a dirty beige blanket to simulate soil for the crash zone… It’s so hastily cobbled together yet so goddamn cute.

Ralph still seems convinced that this is real, though that isn’t saying much.

“I am now positioned close to the…well, I can only assume that this is a vehicle from outer space, its occupants here to destroy the Earth.”

“Oooo!~ OoooOOOooo!~”

“Wait! There is a strange noise emanating from inside. Something seems to be coming out of the ship!”

They made a glove into an alien space suit with a tiny peephole to accommodate Pinky’s face and they fashioned a little belt from something for it, aaaaa! This is so adorable! Look at Pinky trying to be scary! He’s just all >:B throughout this entire scene.

BUG FOGGER

WARNING

CONTENTS UNDE

EXTREME PRESS

GAS

I’m wondering why they couldn’t label it as “bug spray”. I’ve honestly never heard of it being called “bug fogger”. Is that an American thing? (Also: Tiny sandbag wall!)

“Oh my! It’s hideous! Ladies and gentlemen, I can hardly describe this terrifying creature before me, except to say: Run for your lives! Go on! Empty the cities! Leave everything behind!”

“I…I don’t know how long I can stay on the air. I’ll try to get to our aerial view in chopper five!”

Okay, it seems even Elmyra’s family and the broadcast folks are still under the impression that this is actually happening. And Brain instantly cuts again to the aerial view. Brain, I think you’ve been watching too many movies.

“Chopper five, high above the city. The horrible creatures from Mars…invading…destroying everything in their path! Oh, the humanity!”

Since this is a still image the impact is lessened but Brain is rapidly beating his fist against his side to simulate the sound of helicopter blades and it’s actually pretty effective. Well done, lil guy, I never would’ve thought to do something like that. Your foley work is great!

The milk carton buildings still have straws in them to make chimneys! There’s little Chinese takeout boxes as buildings, too! I’m so charmed by all these quaint ways they’ve made their props.

Also, the Pinky-alien has apparently grown to kaiju size now, somehow. Brain, you’ve got to make your hoax at least a little consistent!

“This is no hoax, ladies and gentlemen. I urge you to run for your lives while you can! We’re not making this up just so we can take over the world!”

Goddamnit, Brain. You are the worst liar in the history of forever.

“Oh no! It’s heading this way! Run for your lives! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

I just thought these cowering poses Brain did were funny and cute. He is so small and vulnerable…

So Pinky starts to menace the camera itself and—

—Oops. This isn’t going to go well.

Poor, poor Pinky.

“We did it, Pinky. Brilliant performance!”

Holy shit, sincere praise from Brain! I’m sure Pinky will treasure it.

“Undoubtedly, the population has fled in fear from their ‘terrifying enemy’, HA!”

Umm. About that, Brain…

“Let us make haste…to The White House!”

Brain, you may want to at least wait a little while so that people can actually—

Ouch.

WOW, who needs Twitter in this universe when the press is this fast?

“’Battle for the Planet is a comedy smash… World laughs together. Stay home for this one!’”

“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Well, I think so, Brain…but if we didn’t have ears, we’d look like weasels.”

“[sighs] No, Pinky… Our hoax…no one went anywhere! No one fled the cities! They found us…humorous.”

If it helps any, boys, I also found you incredibly adorable.

“Where are you going, Brain?”

“Back to our cage, Pinky. We must plan for tomorrow night.”

“Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

I like how Pinky is at first concerned about Brain’s mood and then we he sees that Brain is just walking home to plan for tomorrow night he’s bouncing on his tip-toes after him.

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world!”

TO BE CONTINUED because apparently Tumblr finds this post too long otherwise,

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Battle for the Planet

12 notes · View notes

skeletonscribbles · 6 years

Text

Wishes - Chapter 12

there was really no getting around including Star Wars Weekend.

Disney folks - I KNOW you can't get specialty drinks at Starring Rolls but I'm too lazy to make them go to a kiosk, okay? also I haven't been to SWW in a minute. they probably have different food now, but all the Disney Food Blog entries I looked at were back from like 2015 so I'm operating under the assumption that the novelty shit doesn't change.

Anyways.

Chapter Title: “Cantina Song” (Stan)

Warnings: unintelligible memeing, “Luke Skywalker is gay” discourse, some discussion of discrimination

meme references: I Have The High Ground Now THIS is Podracing That's....why I'm here.... (Comment your fave prequel meme if you have one - mine’s Obi Wan’s “Hello There” but I couldn’t figure out how to fit it in to the chapter RIP)

READ ON AO3

Tag List: @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill @imrichie @softeds @pretzelstoday @melancholypurple @wheezygreens @ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

STANLEY URIS FRONT DESK COORDINATOR, YACHT CLUB RESORT but more immediately DISNEY’S HOLLYWOOD STUDIOS MAY 4TH 11 A.M.

“It’s not that I don’t think Star Wars looks interesting,” Stan explained for what felt like the zillionth time that day. “Aesthetically, I’m all about it. I saw a PBS special one time about how they painted some of the sets - that was really cool.”

“So the reason you haven’t seen any of the films is…”

“Purely meme-related, yes.” Stan sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “I don’t understand what’s so hard to grasp about that.”

“Everything, Stan!” Mike all but shouted (though there was a tell-tale wobbliness to his voice that suggested he was on the verge of laughter). “Everything!”

Star Wars Weekend was one of the more baffling annual events on property for Stan. Aside from his never having seen the movies, Stan also wasn’t sure why the entire shebang took place in Hollywood Studios (his least favorite park), especially because the Star Wars Land expansion wasn’t even finished yet. All Studios had to offer for the event was boring old motion-simulator Star Tours and the giant stomp robot it was housed in (“the AT-AT, Stan,” Mike had sighed at least 15 times in the past hour alone). That said, though, Mike loved Star Wars and had apparently been looking forward to getting his picture taken with the round rolling robot (“he has a name, Stan, call him BB-8!”) for quite some time now. Since February and the veritable relationship shitstorm they’d weathered, Stan had been extra determined to compromise wherever he could to show Mike that he was in this for the long run, and as compromises ran, Star Wars Weekend wasn’t a bad one by any means.

“Do you want me to watch the movies, Mike?” he asked, resigned.

Mike laughed and pulled up the bottom of his Rebel Alliance shirt to mop the sweat off of his face. Stan didn’t even bother to hide the way his eyes slid down to Mike’s newly exposed stomach, and made a mental note to ask a Cast Member how long Star Tours was so he could gauge whether or not it was feasible to fool around on the ride. (So far, they’d managed some light groping on the 11 minute ride through the Haunted Mansion, and would have gotten even farther on Pirates except that Stan had Richie’s voice in his head the whole time reminding him of “all the fuckin’ shit I’ve seen on those cameras, Stan, I swear to whatever Jewish God you pray to”.)

“I should have asked if you liked Star Wars, like...weeks ago,” Mike said sadly. “I guess I just assumed. I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” Stan assured him, putting a comforting and not at all lascivious hand on his bicep. “I love Star Wars Weekend. It’s like living in another country for two days. I don’t understand shit about what’s going on, but the food is good and it’s pretty fucking funny if you play your cards right.”

“Another country?” Mike smiled. “Another planet, more like.”

Stan laughed. “Now you’re getting it. Speaking of miscommunications, do we have word from Richie and Eddie?”

“Operation double date is a go,” Mike confirmed, pulling out his phone to double check his texts. “Eddie said they’d be here in like twenty minutes.”

“Cool,” Stan said, and was surprised to find that he meant it. Richie had been in the apartment less and less as his relationship with Eddie had gotten more and more serious, which had culminated in Stan seeing Richie maybe twice over the entirety of the past two weeks. (Stan hoped that meant that they were finally having sex. It would be such a relief to know that Richie had built himself back up to a place where he was finally ready to make that happen.) Stan would never admit it to Richie’s face, but he was starting to miss having Richie around. He was running out of things to clean in the apartment, because no one was around to leave dishes in the sink or leave toothpaste smeared across the bathroom counter. It should have been a relief, but instead it was weird. He’d had Richie around for so long that the idiot had become a central part of his daily routines, and while he was happy that his friend was finally getting his shit together, it was going to be tough to reimagine his life with less Richie.

But. That was a problem for Later Stan.

“So,” Mike continued, “I was thinking maybe we grab food and then head for character meet-and-greets once they arrive? I’ve been waiting to eat chocolate Darth Vader cake all day, and if we don’t do that before Richie shows up, he’ll try to steal off of our plates.”

“True!” Stan brightened at the idea of food. He’d seen people walking around with some kind of blue drink that he’d been dying to try all day. “I think they’ve got cupcakes and stuff at that bakery over by Sunset?”

Mike shrugged. “Sounds right. It’ll be deserted over there, too - no one wants to ride Tower of Terror during Star Wars Weekend. Wanna walk?”

“I do,” Stan said, taking up a brisk pace towards the Sunset Boulevard themed area of the park. “I might be wrong about the cupcakes, though. I really don’t know this park at all. I only come here with Richie.”

“Let me guess,” Mike said knowingly, following Stan across the park, “he takes you here because he likes to feel like he’s doing better than someone at the Toy Story Midway Mania game.”

Stan almost stopped in his tracks. “How did you know?”

“He took me here the first time we hung out solo, too,” Mike said, catching up with Stan during his momentary lull and taking his hand. Stan couldn’t help but smile a little bit at the gesture, even though he was sure he’d drop Mike’s hand sooner rather than later - May in Florida meant that things were already almost unbearably muggy. “I think he takes everyone here so that he can gauge their Toy Story shooting skills.”

“And you were better than him?” Stan guessed.

“I wasn’t worse,” Mike agreed. “His hand-eye coordination needs some serious work.”

“No, my hand-eye coordination needs some serious work,” Stan sighed, spotting the bakery he was thinking of and making a beeline for it with Mike in tow. “Richie just can’t see. He has to wear the 3D glasses on top of his regular glasses.”

“Well, if we ever ride that ride together, I’ll let you win, sweetheart,” Mike promised, and Stan reached up to pull his curls desperately down over his ears so as to hide how red they’d just gotten. Mike really was the least selfish person on Earth. How had he, Stanley Uris, gotten so lucky?

But...now wasn’t the time to reflect on selfishness, because that would just make both of them a little bit sad. Neither of them had reached out to Bill at all since early March, and while they’d admitted to one another that they felt a little bit like they hadn’t given him enough of a chance (although Mike still felt worse about it than Stan did - it was in Mike’s nature to hope for change, and it was in Stan’s nature to know that things were going to stay the same), their residual guilt hadn’t been enough to warrant a check-in with their ex-partner just yet.

It would have to be soon, though - they both knew that. The seven of them were booked to visit Anaheim in just two short months, and if they weren’t amiable by then, Bev would kill them.

Soon wasn’t now, though. They’d be ready when they were ready.

“Let’s just never ride that ride together, okay?” Stan suggested, stopping in front of the bakery and checking out the menu signs out front. “Is this the cupcake you wanted?”

“Are these the droids I’m looking for?” Mike joked, but it fell on deaf ears. Stan knew a fair amount of Star Wars jokes as a result of his longtime dedication to r/funny (and he was absolutely positive that they’d be made less funny by his actually having seen the films, he just knew it, which was the real, core reason why he hadn’t bitten the bullet and watched the goddamn movies), but he had long since resigned himself to the fact that there were some references he was just never going to get.

“Chocolate Darth Vader,” Stan continued, trying to save them both some embarrassment. “Or was it this Jabba the Hutt….thing?”

Mike squinted at the menu, paying special attention to what was apparently a new item as of this year’s Star Wars Weekend. “That is the ugliest fucking cupcake I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Can’t be uglier than Eddie’s mom!”

Fuck. Eddie’s stupid homing beacon brain had obviously struck again. Sighing heavily, Stan smoothed down his navy polo and turned around to greet his roommate.

“Hello Stan!” Eddie was three steps ahead of Richie, beaming as he bounded across the red concrete towards them. The shirt he was wearing had really obviously belonged to Richie at some point - the first clue was that it was white with Han Solo silhouetted in black on the front (Eddie didn’t know shit about Star Wars), and the second was that Eddie was absolutely swimming in it. In spite of both of those things, Eddie was in better spirits than Stan had maybe ever seen him, to the point where Stan was almost afraid that Eddie was going to hug him when he got close enough.

“Eddie,” Stan greeted, raising a hand slowly to wave cordially at their two friends as Mike slowly shifted his attention away from the cupcake selection. “Richie.”

“Stanakin Skywalker,” Richie grinned, coming up behind Eddie and sliding a hand easily onto Eddie’s shoulder, “here with Pad-Mike Amidala.”

Stan stared at him, wondering vaguely if he’d actually forgotten that Stan had zero knowledge of the Star Wars films. “Who?”

“Never mind.” Richie waved a conceding hand. The motion of his wave drew Stan’s eyes to his shirt, which was the most hideous brown monstrosity Stan had maybe ever seen (modeled after that creature that was always with Han Solo whose name Stan always forgot), and he wondered: had he actually missed Richie Tozier, or had his mind just gone soft and nostalgic from being alone in the apartment?

“How’d you find us, Eddie?” Mike asked, smiling warily down at the top of Eddie’s head. “I didn’t text you that we were getting food, did I?”

Eddie shrugged. “Had a hunch. Richie saw one of those blue drinks and thought that Stan would like that, and I know you can get those here, so.”

Stan looked at Richie, who was smiling at his giant, converse-clad feet, and felt a little bit sad all over again. His empty apartment nostalgia brain had nothing to do with how big of a hole Richie’s semi-departure had actually left in his life.

But again - that was a problem for Later Stan.

“Come on, Rich,” Stan said, moving towards the doors of the Starring Rolls Cafe and beckoning to his friend. “I’ll buy you a cupcake.”

Richie’s resulting smile was enough to make Stan consider skipping the fireworks show - it was that much of a spectacle. “He does care!”

“I always have, dipshit,” Stan muttered, walking pointedly away from Richie and into the air-conditioned cafe. Immediately, he let out a sigh of relief - the Florida heat fucking sucked, and he could practically feel his hair going nuts with it at this point in the day. Behind him, he heard Richie following along and chattering enthusiastically, but he tuned that out in favor of locating the blue drink he wanted on the menu. Once he found it, he couldn’t help but scowl...there was no way he was going to be able to pronounce the name of that cocktail well enough to order it. Reluctantly, he turned back to Mike.

“Hey sweetheart,” he began slowly, “the blue drink....”

Mike glanced at the menu, and then he threw his head back and let out a long laugh. Embarrassed, Stan tightened his shoulders and turned around.

“Never mind, I don’t--”

“Alderaan,” Mike said, still wheezing with laughter. “It’s pronounced All - deh - rahn...although if you want to pay homage to that meme you like about the high ground, you should get the red Mustafar thing--”

Stan considered that. On the one hand, he was mortified enough at this point to be seriously considering just skipping the drink altogether, but on the other...he did love that meme...

“Richie?” He glanced off to the right, scanning the room for Richie, who had become suspiciously quiet since they’d entered the bakery. “Tell me what you want so I can ge--”

The sentence dried up in Stan’s mouth as he locked eyes with one Bill Denbrough, who was standing next to a sheepish looking Richie. Stan vaguely registered the presence of Eddie, Beverly, and Ben behind Bill, but it didn’t matter that they were there, not really.

Well, it did, kind of. He tore his eyes from Bill and quickly scanned each of their faces - Richie looked uncomfortable, Eddie looked kind of sick, Ben looked embarrassed, and Bev...Bev looked…

Stan turned back to the left to glance at Mike, and when Mike met his gaze, a small nod confirmed Stan’s suspicions: this was Beverly Marsh’s doing, most definitely.

Bill himself looked more gaunt than Stan remembered - as if someone had taken the face that Stan remembered and stretched it thinner, made it longer, made it sadder, almost. His blue eyes stood in stark contrast to the circles around them, and they looked scared.

Bizarrely, that detail was almost comforting to Stan. It was good that Bill was a little frightened. That was better than Bill being indignant, or having that Denbrough fiery conviction in his eyes. No...frightened, Stan could work with. It gave him leverage, at the very least.

Mike would feel bad about it, though - and Stan could see him already starting to feel bad about it, guilt was creeping across his face and sinking his shoulders. Damn it.

Bill spoke first. “You didn’t t-tell me they were going to be here, Bev.”

Oh. That was new. Stan knew that Bill had stuttered in his youth, but he hadn’t ever actually heard him do it. Was it a ploy, or was it legitimate? Was it shitty of Stan to even be thinking that question?

“You guys were never going to get here on your own,” Bev said cooly, and Stan felt a little spike of anger at her - who was she to dictate the terms of this revisitation? They weren’t ready. None of them were ready, and Hollywood Studios was the wrong venue for any kind of confrontation.

Before he could collect his thoughts well enough to voice his displeasure, though, Eddie was speaking. “Should we go, then?” he asked, twisting the hem of his shirt in his hands nervously. “We could get in line for Star Tours, maybe? Or the Luke Skywalker meet-and-greet?”

“Do you know the names of any Star Wars characters that aren’t Luke Skywalker?” Richie asked fondly, re-situating his hand on Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie leaned into the touch, smiling quietly to himself.

“I like Luke Skywalker.” Eddie defended himself without any real heat, sliding a hand up to cover Richie’s. “He’s gay.”

Ben half-covered his face with his hand. “Oh, Eddie…”

“We’ll go,” Bev decided loudly, grabbing for Ben’s hand and leading him towards the door. “Text me when you’re ready to join us, boys. We’ll be in line for something or other, probably.”

Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie swept out of the restaurant together, and all of Stan’s angry words were left to fester as the four of them disappeared into the crowd, chattering about the merits of meeting Princess Leia (Bev’s choice) versus meeting Luke Skywalker (Eddie’s choice).

For the first time since February, Stan, Mike, and Bill were alone together. It was almost funny that they were reconciling in a restaurant, Stan thought, except that it was really not funny at all. None of them had moved, so they weren’t even set up to have a private conversation - they were stuck just staring at each other across the bakery as patrons entered and exited.

After a long thirty seconds, Mike strode forward, and gestured to Stan to follow him. Stan clenched his fists and entertained the idea of resisting - he didn’t want either of them to be drawn back into the vortex they’d been in before, the last two months had been so good - but in the end, he followed, because this wasn’t about going back, not really. It was about moving forward.

How have you been, Bill?” Mike asked softly, offering out a hand for Bill to shake.

Bill stared at Mike’s hand as if it were going to bite him, but Mike held firm, and after an excruciating moment, Bill relented. Stan was surprised at how visibly Bill relaxed when his brain finally processed that Mike and Stan weren’t going to be hostile. He deflated like a balloon, sagging his shoulders and sliding his hand into Mike’s.

“Okay,” Bill said, and Stan could almost feel the way his face immediately synched up with Mike’s as they raised their eyebrows at Bill skeptically. Bill stared at them for a second, and then choked out a laugh, eyes widening incredulously. “Okay, not great, not really even okay, actually. Holy shit, you guys.”

“Sorry,” Mike said, at the same time that Stan said, “Now THIS is podracing,” and Bill let out another hoarse laugh.

“Is that a meme?” he asked, smiling up at Stan, and Stan felt his stomach clench upon seeing the little crinkly smile lines around Bill’s eyes. How fucking odd, to remember the things that you were attracted to in a person without experiencing the actual attraction.

“Yes,” Stan said, and found that his voice wasn’t nearly as sharp as he’d anticipated it being. “Of course it’s a meme. You know me.”

Bill looked like he had something to say on that point, but to Stan’s great surprise, he kept it to himself.

“Guest Relations still going okay? I never see you in the tunnels,” Mike continued, already grasping for straws as far as small talk topics were concerned. The conversation was going to have to get serious soon - Stan wasn’t sure why Mike was delaying the inevitable.

“It’s fine,” Bill shrugged. “Kind of boring. I see Richie and Eddie sometimes, but mostly it’s just the usual sitting at the window and fielding complaints. How’s Splash? And Yacht?”

“Splash is great, actually,” Mike said, smiling slowly. “I’m glad I transferred there. I’m having a lot of fun.”

If Bill was upset about that, he was doing a good job of not showing it. “I’m glad. And you, Stan?”

Stan nodded, trying to be as agreeable as possible. “We’ve got wings closed for renovation, so it’s pretty quiet. Once we’re full steam ahead again, though, I’m going to put in for Manager.”

Bill swung his eyes over to meet Stan’s, and Stan was surprised by how open his expression was. “Good. Sounds like you’re both doing well.”

Mike and Stan exchanged a nervous glance. “We’re fine, yeah.”

There was an awkward silence, exacerbated by Bill turning away for a few seconds to look at the cupcake case. Once he turned back, Mike spoke again.

“I’m sorry for what happened in February,” he said, and Stan straightened up. Finally, finally, finally they had reached the meat of the conversation - and the sooner they got through it, the sooner this terrible interaction would be finished. “I know I wasn’t fair.”

Mike turned his head after he was finished speaking and fixed Stan with a look that indicated that he expected Stan to apologize too...but Stan wasn’t quite there yet.

“Have you thought about what we said?” he asked instead, and he felt rather than saw Mike’s cringe.

Bill didn’t seem upset, though. In fact, he looked as though he had expected that line of questioning. “If I said yes, Stan, would you believe me?”

Stan didn’t really know what his answer to that question was. Fortunately, Mike was able to make a quicker judgement call.

“I would,” said Mike. “February Bill would have been pretty mad that we were doing well without him, I think, and you seem….you seem calm, Bill. Have you been talking to someone?”

“Just Bev,” he said, cutting eye contact with both of them and looking at the ground sheepishly. “We still live together for the moment, but I think she’s looking at moving in with Ben? Is that true?” He looked specifically at Mike for that question, and Mike nodded carefully.

“I think so? I’m pretty evenly split between my place and Stan’s, so I don’t know for sure,” he said, and Stan’s eyes snapped back to Bill’s face, trying to gauge his reaction about Stan and Mike spending time together. To his credit, he didn’t seem fazed at all.

Fuck. Maybe things had changed over the past few months. Maybe Bill was trying to self-improve after all.

“But I’m thinking about seeing a therapist,” Bill continued, shuffling his feet a little bit, “just to like, talk to someone, you know? And I’ve been thinking about what you guys were saying about the not listening, because...well, Bev said it too, and I’m not...I’m working on it.”

Mike smiled sweetly. “I can tell.”

“Me too,” Stan admitted, and Bill’s eyes snapped up at that. He had obviously not expected Stan to be kind.

“I have a question, though,” Bill asked, in a tone that quietly indicated that he only half-wanted to ask his question.

“Shoot,” Mike and Stan said in unison, and Bill shuddered.

“Fucking weird, you guys. Anyways,” he said, taking his time as if trying to word it perfectly in his head. “I just...what happened? Why me? I know that’s probably like...ignorant or something? Maybe? I don’t know, but...I deserve to know that, I think.”

Stan smiled thinly. The old Bill - the “deserve” Bill - was not quite dead, after all.

Mike, as always, was kinder than Stan, and launched quickly into an explanation.

“Well, the minority versus non-minority thing was bigger than you thought it was, I think,” Mike said thoughtfully, and Stan nodded.

“Yeah, ditto that. There are some things you just can’t understand unless you’ve lived them.”

Bill frowned and shoved his hands into his pockets. “But Stan’s white.”

Stan exhaled lowly. “Yeah, and that’s not the same as Mike and all the shit he deals with, I know...but the Jewishness, Bill. It’s a thing, even if I haven’t really practiced in a minute...it’s a thing.”

Sighing, Bill inelegantly pushed a hand back through his hair. “Okay, I guess. Was that it?”

Stan looked at Mike, and Mike nodded back at him, giving him the non-verbal green light.

“The dynamic was weird,” Stan said, willing Bill to look him in the eyes for this part. It wasn’t happening, but it felt like it was important to try, so Stan persisted. “You like to be in charge, and the two of us aren’t really people that like having people in charge of us.”

“Yeah,” Mike agreed. “We’re not Richie and Eddie, Bill - heck, we’re not even Ben and Bev. We’ve got a whole different thing going on, you know?”

Bill’s eyes were all but glued to the floor. “That makes sense, I guess.”

“You don’t like it,” Mike said flatly, and Bill hesitated for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t,” Bill agreed. “But. It helps to know.”

“We should have explained it better,” Mike said, and Stan nodded shortly - almost indecipherably, because part of him was still resistant to apologizing, but he nodded all the same. “It’s just so fucking frustrating in the moment, you know?”

Bill barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I definitely know.”

Another silence fell upon them, but it was more comfortable now. Stan could practically see the other side of the conversation, and he was desperate to get there. The staff was starting to be weirded out by their continued presence.

“Are we going to be okay, then?” he asked, trying to drive the other two to a more practical place.

They both looked up at him with matching fond smiles, and he felt heat curl in his gut. Fuck, that was...something else.

“I don’t know about hanging today, if I’m honest,” Mike said, more blunt than usual (and Stan knew that was for his sake), “but we could try another day and see? That’ll give us time to prepare.”

Bill nodded thoughtfully. “Time to prepare sounds good. Bev really threw us under the bus today, huh.”

“She really fucking did,” Stan agreed sourly. “Which day?”

“I’m pretty tied up this month,” Bill admitted, “but maybe beginning of June? Do you guys have Universal Studios Season Passes? I haven’t been on Kong yet.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Mike smiled. “Cool. You staying for the rest of this Star Wars crazy, Bill?”

“Nah,” Bill said, waving a hand dismissively across his face. “I’m more of a Star Trek guy. Bev knows that, so I was a little confused about why she asked me to come today...I guess I know now. Anyways. I’ll probably go home and watch reruns of Arrested Development.”

Stan nodded, feeling light. “Well, godspeed, then.”

Bill looked between the two of them, looking half pleased and half exasperated. “God, Stan, you’re so--”

“I know,” Stan said, reaching for Mike’s hand. To his great relief, Mike took it immediately. “I know.”

There was still more to say - the air was thick with conversation they weren’t having, but it was time for Bill to go, and he knew it.

“Goodbye, then,” he finally said, backing towards the doors of the restaurant.

“Goodbye,” Mike and Stan chorused, waving him away until he pushed his way out and back into the Florida sun.

They stood there like that for a moment, hands clasped, and then looked back at each other.

“How do you say the name of that drink again?” Stan finally asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Mike opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, someone tapped Stan on the shoulder.

It was one of the Starring Rolls employees, holding his blue, blue drink.

“Couldn’t help but overhear,” she said quickly as Stan read her nametag (‘Patricia’, and she looked like one, too, all dark curls and dimples). “This is on the house. Sorry about your friend.”

Stan blinked back at her, too surprised to speak, and Mike clapped a hand on his shoulder, laughing softly.

“In another life, he’d be considering asking you to marry him right about now,” Mike informed the girl, who laughed in response.

“Sounds like it would be nice,” she said, beaming at the two of them. “Alternate universe Patty Blum is pretty lucky. But for now, enjoy, okay? May the fourth be with you.”

“Thank you,” Stan said, thirty seconds too late - she was already headed back to her post.

“Pull yourself together, sweetheart,” Mike chided jokingly, holding up his phone, which was lit up with new text notifications. “Bev’s wondering where we are. You up for doing more shit? I know that was a lot to handle.”

Stan looked down at his drink, and then up at Mike, and felt his face split into a huge, crazy grin.

“That’s...why I’m here.”

Mike’s responding groan propelled them out of Starring Rolls and all the way back to where Bev, Ben, Richie, and Eddie were waiting for them.

41 notes · View notes

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 7 years

Note

Okay I also have so many Thoughts on Rise so if you want someone to rant to, I’m definitely here lol

My official Thoughts™

Okay so first off I’m pleasantly surprised I didn’t hate it as much as I was expecting? Lol I didn’t wanna watch at all because it seemed too dramatic, like something I would’ve eaten up in high school but I’m too tired to deal with these days. But my mom made me watch it with her and it definitely wasn’t as bad as I expected lol

What…was UP with the camera work????? I was loosing my mind over it omfg. Sometimes normal, sometimes shaky, and we had like three or four dramatic documentary zoom-ins ala Parks and Rec or the Office??? Why was that happening??? They were all in dramatic moments but it was so fucking funny I couldn’t handle it.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, when the coach asked ‘are you a teacher or a director’ and Josh Radnor was like ‘well, both’ and then it zoomed in on the coach as he cut off ‘Actually, no, you’re a teacher’. Like. That was clearly supposed to be dramatic but it was PEAK comedic timing. My mom and I were cackling we almost missed the rest of the scene omfg

That principal is a mess??? Giving one dude the drama department just because he doesn’t like the other teacher, and then???? Approving the show before he READ it???? Allowing a coach to try to bribe a kid’s bad grade away???? What in the Lord

What….is with the troupe….of the Athlete having to pick sports or theater. Like literally what is that. It happens too often and I’ve never? Seen it happen in real life? Like I know you can’t apply your life experiences to everyone else’s but as someone who also went to a sports crazy high school in small town PA like….the senior sports™ boys went out for the musical every year??? Like every year there’d be at least 7 or 8 football or basketball or literally whatever players that were like ‘You know the fuck what, I’m a senior, I’m doing a musical now’ lmao. It was never dramatic or anything. Being in a play isn’t going to ruin someone’s sports career

Okay so auditioning for a musical…doesn’t….work….as extra credit??? They wanted his grade raised and he wanted the kid in the show. The actual play the musical is based on has been picked apart and analyzed as a piece of literature so many times….so I could see “If he does my musical and writes a report on the play, I’ll give him extra credit” or something to that effect but just. ‘Audition and all your Problems will go away’. Lord What.

WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS SIMON KID.

Okay. Okay. The kid…is stereotypical ‘gay high schooler’ and we all damn well know that. Not my complaint. The thing was, bumping him down from Melchior to HANSCHEN made it SEEM like he was only getting cast as Hanschen because he’s The Gay™, because frankly, considering they were struggling to find boys, I would’ve initially put him as Moritz, from the brief scenes it seems like he could handle Moritz’s songs??? Moritz is the third lead and like, the fan favorite character, you’d wanna cast him pretty quick. And THEN they bust out he has a ““““““Very Religious”““““ family, like….really. Really. We’re doing that. Okay. Fine then. I can sit here and pretend I’ve actually met a homophobic Catholic person before if they’re at least gonna handle this well. But THEN. THEN. OKAY. We got that trailer for the full season at the end of the show and the kid playing Ernst said ‘Do you feel something when you’re with me’ and now….I see exactly what they’re doing….They’re having this kid play Hanschen while in real life he’s going to be in an Ernst-like situation….That’s so fucking cheesy and I haven’t yet fully decided how I feel about it??? I’m already tired tho. Anyway if someone hurts that boy I’m gonna go down to NBC with a baseball bat and start swinging. I can get in no problem. Just making that known.

Auli’i Cravalho….,,,we Stan

Her plot line seems a little muddled and Peak Dramatic right now but that scene near the end with her mother???? GIRL. KILL THEM.

Listen idk who the hell is playing the football player (Robbie was it?) but I already love him with my entire heart but like….the scene where he just started rapping at the pep rally….no one Does That lmao. Although I appreciate that he’s a lot less conflicted about joining the show than other athletes caught in this troupe before him? He was a little hesitant but it wasn’t Over The Top (looking at you, Troy Bolton). He seems really cute tho. I was Worried when he started rapping ‘All That’s Known’ but then he slid into actually singing and he was so good!!

LMAO when they were doing the song montage and all they could do for ‘Totally Fucked’ was “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH” I was cracking up

I liked that they appear to have established the football player is into the shy girl BEFORE they do the show. Like, it’s still cliché as all hell, but at least it’s not like ‘I never noticed you were pretty or a cool person before the stage lights were on you’ type deal bc that’s exhausting.

My mom was cracking up when Simon was telling his Religious Parents™ about the show at the dinner table aasdfgh like yet another clearly intended to be dramatic scene turned funny by the camera work and editing but also like it was so….like my mom isn’t familiar with Spring Awakening itself but she’s familiar with a lot of other ~~~edgy~~~ shows bc I’ve either been in them or gotten her to see them with me and like. I’ve worked in and on shows with kids who’s parents were SUPER against the shows material and the roles their kids played but no one ever like….stopped their kids from doing it??? And like his parents being against the stuff in the play is like….the Point of the play? And also if he already knows the script he’s already been Exposed to it, so it’s not like keeping him out of the show is gonna keep him pure or whatever?? Idk I really just don’t get why they’re bothering with that plotline tbh

Rosie Perez is always so over the top and I am always so okay with it

On that same branch though like…I know Josh Radnor loves giving impassioned speeches…but who….talks like that? Lol. Just everything he said sounded like they were trying to hard for that Big Dreamer Life Changer Teacher troupe you know???

Listen I GET why that one girl would be mad because she usually gets the leads but also….Ilse….has the better songs???? Like if someone cast me as Ilse I’d fucking cry I literally want to get a tattoo for the ‘I Don’t Do Sadness’ song bc it fucks with me so much lmao. ALSO…..I’m very interested in the whole thing with Auli’i character’s mother sleeping with her father and her thinking Auli’i is a ‘whore just like her mother’ since Wendla is the tragically innocent character in the show who was too sheltered to know anything about sex and Ilse is a victim of incest who dealt with it by acting out sexually….like it’s definitely not the same as what I’m expecting them to do with the reversed Hanschen/Ernst storyline but it’s interesting to see the parallels between them since they’ve clearly had very different upbringings when it comes to mature issues like that

Speaking of tho, Auli’i struggling with ‘Mama Who Bore Me’ until she had a big fight with her mom and can suddenly belt it to hell and back……come on

Let Me Tell You How Much I Cringed When The Teacher Outed Michael To The Entire Cast

Like, dude….you know that only like yourself and one other student knows he’s transitioning and he didn’t even tell you himself….Like yes he auditioned for a male role but he signed with his birth name like…The teacher had that list before rehearsal he literally could’ve just pulled the kid aside and asked him what he wanted to do??? I’m glad they didn’t film any of the other kids, like, caring or being weird about it though. That might be a delayed plot line but they all seemed relatively accepting so that definitely made the whole situation a little more bearable to watch

OF COURSE the lights kid is homeless….because there wasn’t enough drama

Don’t get me wrong like it’s definitely an important issue but that’s my problem with shows like this, they just Pile Everything On to the point where it’s so much like…

And then he took the kid home which we all saw coming but like, did you see the wife’s face??? He has a cell phone, he could have at least called to warn her. Their marriage seems stressed, they’ve got an emo ass son Going Through Some Ambiguous Problem That Has Lead To Drinking, and now they‘re moving a homeless kid in on top of it like. It just feels less like ‘real life’ and more like ‘how much drama can we pile into this for views’ and also it was a lot for literally the first episode?

Who…has ever actually put on Pirates of Penzance….who has ever actually seen Pirates of Penzance….I’m not convinced it’s a real show lmao I laughed when he said he wanted to replace Spring Awakening with it what a JUMP

BURNING THE COSTUMES WAS SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ASDFGH WHO WOULD EVER?!?!?! I LOVED IT

Also though like why were they singing ‘I Believe’ for that part???? It definitely helped with the Drama And Aesthetic™ but it’s also. the rape song? Idk I think situation wise ‘Totally Fucked’ would’ve just been a better choice. They could have just done what the original broadway cast did on televised performances and changed it to ‘stuck’ lmao. Now, the moment definitely would’ve felt more….Glee-ish, with that song, so I guess they were trying to avoid that since this is a serious™ show but like again I just don’t see how ‘I Believe’ worked thematically

Also like the biggest problem this show had was PACING. Holy shit. This one episode felt like the entire season. Like literally…what else. What else can they do. These kids have apparently already been at it for weeks and are professional singers who have all the songs down for some reason. Like how many rehearsals do they have before the show??? Damn. They definitely could’ve slowed it down and dragged things out, it would‘ve felt a lot cleaner

All in all tho….For a first episode I’d give it like a solid 7 or 8???? I’m interested enough to check out episode two but I’m also cautiously expecting to fall out of the show either because of the pacing or just them piling on too much drama just for the sake of it. What did you think???

#Rise #nbc #josh radnor #auli'i cravalho #rise nbc #musicals #asks #molly mumbles #I think I'm missing notes #but the show ended over an hour ago lol

134 notes · View notes

hellagaypokemon · 8 years

Text

there’s something I really need to get off my chest, regarding someone I once considered my fave youtuber and the way he seems to view gay people..

I’ve been watching Mark’s videos for about 3 years now. I first found his videos through finding Yomimash while looking for good Slender Man LPs to watch, and found Mark when they played that gory cat multiplayer game together. I decided to watch his videos more regularly after watching his unfair Mario and cat Mario videos which were absolutely hysterical, and have been watching his content regularly ever since.

but there’s a pattern I’ve noticed that’s really made me uncomfortable lately.

I’m really starting to think that Mark is homophobic.

now, not the kind that’s obvious, where someone actually has hate in their heart (think: mike pence, the westburrow baptist church, ext) but the kind that doesn’t bother to check all the tiny biases that one accumulates in a bigoted society (the kind of thing that causes people to think there’s nothing wrong with things like this, or not seeing what’s wrong with things like constantly calling video game enemies b*tches/sons of b*tches/wh*res/ext and talking about how a player or enemy that got swiftly/dramatically killed “got raped”) because both are harmful, but I’d argue the smaller things even more-so, as no one takes the WBC seriously, but the microaggressions are so ingrained in our society, no one but those harmed actually notice, and when we attempt to call them out, we’re told we’re just being overly sensitive and to lighten up/not take things so seriously, or even that we have a victim complex.

in all the years I’ve watched him, the only time he refers to us, it’s as a joke. he and his friends love joking about “suckin’ dick” and each other’s and just general constant dick jokes (makes you wonder why he was so shocked he got a 7 for his mental maturity test) and specifically joking about gay people, which in and of itself is homophobic when you realize that type of humor is what’s called a “punch down” which in and of itself is harmful, but on top of that, specifically straight people thinking of gay people/same-sex affection as a punchline is in itself a microaggression (and if you want sources, look at the latest Golden Globes, or one of many of Stephen Colbert’s skits, just to start)

but, dick jokes in and of themselves aren’t that bad. I mean, I don’t find them funny, and the amount with which he uses them seems more like a crutch than anything, but w/e. I don’t have to find everything he says funny, but it just gets worse from there.

like for instance that pirate prop hunt video where Bob ignorantly comments about how “the whole gay thing is not real cool with pirates”, because pirates are cool and the only way he could view a pirate being gay was if he was like Smee from Peter Pan, even though most pirates were gay, to the point that the word “mate”/”matey” (the word that first comes to mind when one thinks of pirates) actually comes from a French word that more or less translated to ‘significant other’. (also, to top all that off, he’s just also not comfortable being alone with a gay man when there’s only men around, and the idea of being checked out by another man, aka treated by a gay man how straight men treat women, which he made very clear makes him very uncomfortable)

which, in and of itself is absolutely awful, and I really wish more people would have called him out on how absolutely overwhelmingly homophobic that is, but as it stands, even Mark thought it was ok enough to post.

because while Mark did say that he’s “ok” with gay people/pirates, he never really truly called Bob out or pointed out how hurtful such comments are. instead he turned it into yet another dick joke, and decided he’d put a generic “trigger warning” in the front of the video (without actually telling us what the trigger was for, making it completely useless, only succeeding on making me feel on edge the entire video because I had no idea what to expect)

he never called out Bob on his comments outside of personal minor disagreement, which clearly did not phase him since he kept going. I understand wanting to keep things lighthearted for the video, which could explain the very minor disagreeing and turning it into a joke, but there was no reason he couldn’t cut that bit out (as the prop hunt videos are always full of cuts so we the viewer only see the parts they deem funny enough to show us) and just leave it out of the video entirely, which tells me he found the homophobia from Bob and the subsequent dick jokes and everything else around it entertaining enough to leave in, even though he KNEW it would be upsetting enough to need a warning.

this hurt, but I chucked it up to not wanting to ruin the fun mood they had going, since they seemed to be playing for a few hours, and simply decided to not watch any more videos including Bob and hope that Mark talked to him after the fact. it still sat in the back of my mind though, and I was never able to fully forgive ether of them.

I’ve also yet to hear of any of his charity live streams focusing on LGBT charities ether general or focusing on a specific subset, nor has he really made any effort to actually acknowledge us (unless to joke about us).

when same-sex marriage was legalized I looked damn near daily on all the social media accounts of his that I was aware of, but I never managed to find anything. I’ve since been told he simply posted on facebook an image of the rainbow flag and “today’s a good day”, but...I still feel like my original feelings stand, as I never found it myself (and have yet to actually see it, so for all I know that post could have been completely made up in an attempt to shut me down) and for something so important, for someone who will go on a tearful 30 minute monologue about the importance of love and being kind to each other and so-on at the drop of a hat, it really feels strange that when #lovewon, after all these years of fighting and hate and death, all he had to say was “today is a good day”.

and then when Orlando happened, I was sure he’d say something. I mean, with that much loss of life and so much hate surrounding it, I thought surely he’d have something to say. I mean, he talks about death and suicide and great losses of life and how important it is that we all stick together and love and protect one another all the time. there’s no way he could just gloss over this one, right?

and yet, he still managed to. he did make a statement, but it was what, almost a week later? and just a generic “love each other” sort of post that never actually referenced anything. I’m not even sure he mentioned the shooting specifically, just saying “with everything going on right now” or something and we all knew what he meant, because there really wasn’t anything else he could be talking about. but he never once mentioned anything specifically. it was a racial and homophobic hate crime, the worst mass shooting of our time, and all he could offer to his fans was a general “be good to each other”, which he says all the time, only this time much shorter than normal.

just a little two paragraph post, a general statement, for the worst mass killing of modern time on US soil.

and if I recall, within a week of it he had another charity livestream, and it wasn’t for Orlando. nor was the next one, or the next one. he “doesn’t feel it’s his place” to say anything, and apparently he doesn’t feel it’s “his place” to send help for people literally dying ether. well, unless they’re children dying of cancer, or people trying to kill themselves. they’re the only people dying that he seems worthy enough and “his place” to send money to and bring awareness about.

but the thing that hurt me the most personally, was his comment just a few days ago in his blooper video, not two minuets in (all of which had been literally nothing but dick jokes btw) he tells two of his buddies to act like they’d just realized they’re lesbians, and they immediately recreated a porn scene, and then they all laughed at just how funny that was.

I couldn’t finish the video.

I was too hurt. never before had his homophobia been so obvious, and directed at my community specifically. nothing had hurt me quite like this does.

I’m still floored to be completely honest. I had been giving him the benefit of the doubt for so long, thinking he just really likes making dick jokes and he’s secure enough in his sexuality to be able to make jokes like that (which is a privilege in and of itself btw) but I thought surely, surely someone who’s so passionate about doing the right thing and being good to people and who actively talks about being ok with us and not uncomfortable around us at all (unlike Bob) and who actively jokes about the fanfiction and art he knows about that depict him and his male friends as lovers, surely he himself would never partake in dehumanizing anyone, surely he couldn’t be homophobic.

but when you look at him and how he treats us compared to say, HarshyCritical, you can see the difference. (especially since after making this post it was brought to my attention that just a minute into the latest video he made with Bob, the one posted the same day I write this, they laugh at the use of a violently homophobic slur)

especially since the person whom John seems closest to and colabs the most with is himself a gay man. they even share a channel together where all they post is multiplayer colabs.

I don’t know if John’s done any LGBT-centric charity streams, but the fact that his good or possibly even best friend is a gay man and how he treats the narrative and characters in a game where the story is all about dealing with homophobia and being yourself says a lot more in his favor that anything Mark has done. (which is also very ironic since John lives in the very homophobic state of Texas and Mark now lives in the very liberal state of California)

I honestly can’t find a single thing he’s said about us specifically that wasn’t a joke, and he’s made it painfully clear that in the end that’s all he sees us as.

inherently sexual, a porn category, something to laugh at, something other.

and the thing that hurts the most, is no one cares. he just got 16 million subscribers. most of his fans are homophobic fangirls who treat homosexuality as a fetish for them to enjoy, and everyone else is too much of a stan to think critically of his actions. no one will want to call him out. he’s too much of a “good person”, since everyone’s expectations of men and male gamers is so low, with the bar being fuckin buried in the dirt, that someone like Mark who cares about sick kids and depression and preventing suicide and all of his talking about caring about each and every one of us as individuals, he looks like a damn angel just by walking over that bar, so anyone wanting to call him out will be blown off as someone who just wants to bring him down because of jealousy or some bullshit like that.

so at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. he could be as openly homophobic as he wants, and every non-straight fan could up and drop him on the spot, and I doubt it would really affect him much.

and I think that’s what hurts more than anything he’s actually said or done.

#markiplier #harshlycritical #homophobia #lesbophobia #not pokemon #personal #posting it to this sideblog cause it's at least about gaming #and when the shit hits the fan I don't really want that all over my dashboard

189 notes · View notes

thedesperatehousehusband · 8 years

Text

Not Super on Time at this Point but Whatever

Sometimes I am not able to be as timely as I prefer with my posts. This is one of those times. I am still going to pontificate on the Super Bowl even though it was four days ago.

The outcome was appalling. I don’t care for the Patriots. I think Tom Brady is a douche. I think Gisele is the worst. I think Bill Belichick is smug and homeless looking all at the same time. That Julian Edelman is a stud though and even though Rob Gronkowski is dumb as a box of rocks, he’s really pretty funny. But more than that the Falcons should be deported. How do you blow a 25 point lead in the 4th quarter of the Super Bowl? You will never, ever live that down.

The Schuyler Sisters singing America the Beautiful was a delight. Look, y’all, more than just white people can sing patriotic songs! It’s like there’s diversity in this country or something. In stark contrast, white as fuck Luke Bryan sang the National Anthem. It was fine. He’s not the world’s best singer but he’s not the worst. I’m certain he’s helping to make America great again.

Halftime, halftime, halftime. Bring it, Gaga. I will not hear it if you don’t agree with me. That was the BEST halftime show in years and years. Certainly since Prince, may he rest in peace. Like her or not, the woman is a talent. I’m sure there was a backing track somewhere but for the most part ol’girl was singing. I feel like you could tell by how she was breathing. The dancing was kick ass. There were gays and brown people and all sorts of funky folks. Loved it more than my luggage.

Let’s discuss commercials. In a nutshell, they sucked donkey balls. There is nothing worse than mediocrity when it comes to Super Bowl ads. Most were mediocre at best.

1. Google Home…a little overwrought.

2. Michelin…been there, done there.

3. Avocados from Mexico…the secret society has nothing to do with avocados. I laughed. But not for the right reasons and not having anything to do with the product being advertised.

4. Mobile Strike with Arnold…I’m not a gamer. Maybe it resonates with the target. Maybe Arnold’s ratings are down. Maybe he released his taxes when he was governor of California. Maybe I just don’t care.

5. H&R Block with IBM Watson…get every last deduction. Get errrry one. This one was decent. In the grand scheme of things, I’d give it a B+.

6. Skittles…Romance? Is that what it was? Terrible.

7. Busch Beer…Buschhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh was very clever. But Busch? Really? How fucking white trash. At least AB didn’t rag on the craft beer industry. So there’s that. I’ll give it a B.

8. American Petroleum Institute…Yep. I get it. Oil is a part of our lives and more that that, it makes things better. But ethanol is going to catch on. Bless my corns, I believe it to be true.

9. GoDaddy…Rick Astley is trying to make a comeback. Good luck. D+.

10. LifeWtr…I guess basically introducing a new product on the Super Bowl will generate awareness. That’s a bazillion dollar gamble. Bully for you for taking a risk.

11. Intel with Tom Brady…don’t care. D+.

12. AirBnB…#weaccept. Sharp, sharp, sharp. Makes a nice statement but still feels on target and based on an insight. I’ll give it an A. One of the only A’s, in my opinion.

13. World of Tanks…Fuck off.

14. Yellow Tail…Another shitty booze brand. I get it though. Mass market products make sense. Honestly, Yellow Tail isn’t that bad. It was fun and was pretty cute. A-.

15. Pirate’s Life…I’m not sure how you judge a movie trailer as a Super Bowl ad so I’ll just say I have NO interest whatsoever in this movie. Let the ship sink, Johnny. It’s over.

16. Pistacchios…Who doesn’t love elephants? It was decent. Final grade = B-.

17. Buick…with Cam Newton. I guess it was fine. I don’t really like him. He’s kind of a brat. Sack up and don’t whine, you big baby. One must be careful with celebrities. They can be polarizing.

18. Logan…another trailer. I’m intrigued. I like that it’s rated R. Maybe that means a little full frontal from Hugh Jackman. I wouldn’t complain.

19. T Mobile…with the Biebs, Gronk and TO. T Mobile is trying to make themselves happen. Who uses T Mobile? It reminds of the final few holdouts who wouldn’t give up their Blackberrys. Meh,

20. Honda CRV…chasing dreams. I get it. Potentially overly aspirational for a pretty affordable car but at least it had some sort of strategy behind it.

21. Bai Bai…with JT and Christopher Walken. At this point all I can remember about Bai Bai is the celebrs in the spot. I think it’s food or beverage. Or maybe feminine hygiene or maybe toilet bowl cleaner. Fail.

22. Transformers: Rise of the What the Fuck Ever…nope.

23. Tide..with Terry Bradshaw. I didn’t hate it. That’s saying a lot.

24. Sprint….I can’t read my notes so I don’t know what this ad was about. My bad.

25. Coca Cola…tying it all back to food makes sense. I have very strong correlation between eating at McDonald’s and Coke. An A- for sure.

26. The Handmaid’s Tale…should I know what this is? I’m slightly intrigued and slightly nonplussed.

27. WeatherTech…America. Fuck yeah.

28. Febreeze…something having to do with halftime. I don’t remember anymore. I should have written this sooner.

29. Alfa Romeo…I guess we’re trying to make Alfa Romeo happen in the US. Good luck. I’m not sure now is the best time to introduce a foreign product in this country.

30. Michelob Ultra…95 calories and you can still do Crossfit when you drink it. Feels like a streeeeeetch.

31. TurboTax….Humpty Dumpty. A decent attempt at humor. But I have no interest in seeing this spot 100,000 times. Hopefully they don’t run it as part of their regular ad rotation.

32. Lexus…nothing interesting or different or new. Could have been any Lexus add on during any other show. Make it special. Or at least try.

33. Fate of the Furious…money talks and that’s why Charlize Theron is in this movie.

34. Squarespace…with John Malkovich. I don’t really understand what one does on or with Squarespace. Maybe that means the ad wasn’t meant for me.

35. Wendy’s…othrguys.com. Decent. But Wendy’s will never be chosen ahead of McDonald’s in my world.

36. Xfinity…I don’t care.

37. The Hammer Insurance…WTF?

38. Kaplan University…Really?

39. Arby’s…2 for $5. Seriously? An offer during the Super Bowl? That’s just dumb,

40. Menard’s…save big money. This was probably a regional insertion that not everyone saw.

41. Audi…equal pay for women. This has caused quite a stir because apparently Audi as a corporation has a pretty shitty track record with female pay and female representation at the senior exec level. Ooopsie poopsie. Don’t try to take a social stand when you can’t internally back it up.

42. Mr. Clean…the man who cleans. In my opinion, this was the very best spot of the Super Bowl. A VERY clear insight. A VERY clear benefit. A VERY clear target. A+++++++++.

43. Snickers…the live spot with Adam Driver was a gimmick. Gimmicks rarely work. This did not work.

44. Anheuser Busch…immigration and August Busch coming to the states. I liked it. It told a nice story. Was ironically very topical and relevant even though AB shot the spot 3 months ago and couldn’t have possibly known about the whole travel ban insanity. But, of course, August Busch was white and that makes it OK…..no offense to AB. That’s a dig on errrrything else.

45. T Mobile…with Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg. Can-o-bisque or cannabis? Get it? That’s almost clever. But what does it have to do with cell phones? Nothing. Fail.

46. Persil..with Bill Nye the Science Guy. I guess we’re still trying to make Persil happen in the States. I’m not sure this spot is going to push them over the edge.

47. Kia…with Melissa McCarthy. She’s comedy gold. This sorta kinda worked.

48. Stranger Things 2…we just watched the pilot episode. Loved it. This is apropos of nothing.

49. The Walking Dead…They need to bulk up the ratings since people fled like crazy given the completely bleak first half of this season. I concur that it was all a bit much but there ain’t so sunshine and rainbows in the zombie apocalypse.

50. Fiji…earth’s finest water. I see what you did there. A solid B.

51. Baywatch…apart from Zac Efron’s body this movie just looks terrible.

52. Alfa Romeo…see number 29.

53. T Mobile…with 50 Shades of Grey or Darker or Whatever. Make it stop!

54. Wix.com…with Jason Statham and Gal Gadot. I do not know what one does with or on Wix.com.

55. Turkish Airlines…moving free. Not bad and by this point, I’m pretty much over the whole thing so anything that even makes sense is going to be viewed favorably.

56. Alexa…with My Girl. Not horrendous. That’s positive when considering the amount of dreck.

57. T Mobile..data limits. I literally can’t even with T Mobile.

58. Nintendo Switch…I don’t care about video games but this looked relatively cool.

59. Spuds McKenzie…Bring that dead dog back to life, Bud Light. Nothing better than a recycled icon and the ghost of a deceased pit bull.

60. Mercedes…I don’t really remember anything about this spot except that it featured Patty the Daytime Hooker who was a character on My Name is Earl. I love that actress. She is simply the best actress working in Hollywood in her ability to play white trash.

61. Alfa Romeo…the third time is the charm. Except it’s not. No more. See number 29 and 52.

62. Sprite…with Lebron James. Much as I love Lebron James, I am nearly positive this was not a new spot and the Coca Cola Company can pony up for a new spot for the Super Bowl. That’s cheap.

63. KFC…something having to do with gold. Meh.

64. Tide…another go. That’s a lot of Tide for one Super Bowl.

And that’s that. Super Bowl LI is in the books and we have a few months without football. But that’s OK because March Madness is juuuuuuuust about to knock on my door. That shit is my jam.

1 note · View note