#because barring tali and ashley hes my favorite | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wingsy-keeper-of-songs · 1 year

Text

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag

Lovingly borrowed from a great Mass Effect blog @whiskynorocks ya'll should go follow them they're rad as hell and have excellent taste

Been a fan since: I'd heard great things about the series since 3 came out but I never had the opportunity to play it until this year. I can safely say I'm pretty hooked.

Favorite game of the series: 2, without a doubt. There are things I loved about 1 and 3 but 2 stood out to me especially with the writing and how I developed my relationships with my crew. I wasn't thrilled about joining forces with Space Terrorists, but at least I was able to walk away from TIM at the end of it.

MaleShep or FemShep? FemShep, hands down. I do have a BroShep save, but he's not as...invested as FemShep is.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer? Colonist or Earthborn for FemShep, Earthborn or Spacer for BroShep

Paragon or Renegade? Heavy on the Paragade. I usually try to go mostly Paragon, but there are some motherfuckers that need slapping

Biotics or Tech? I like Tech but I go Biotics more often than not

Favorite class: Oh Vanguard full stop. Give me a shotgun and biotic charge and I'm up on the front lines gunning down assholes like I was born for it

Favorite companion: Garrus, but also Tali, Wrex, Legion, Kasumi, Zaeed, Vega, and Liara when she didn't sell my body to terrorists

Least favorite companion: Miranda (strictly just due to ability, tbh), Ashley (I saved her a few times, I get that she has a lot of emotional baggage and the way that the Alliance treats her is extremely wrong, but I just can't like her ya'll. I'm sorry. I've tried.)

My squad selection: Who wants to third wheel with me and the Space Kitty? In all seriousness, it's usually Shep, Garrus, and Tali in 1 unless I switch Tali for Kaiden a few times. Or Wrex if I need more fire power lol. In 2, soon as I get Garrus, I tend to keep him around for everything save Tali's trial since I like to bring Legion to that just to be a troll. Mostly, it's just me and the Dream Team. Vega third wheeled a lot in 3, though lol

Favorite in-game romance: Shakarian for the long haul, baby. But Talibrations is also extremely adorable too. My BroShep is hella bi so he's romancing Kaiden after losing Ash in Virmire and he's Damaged™ so maybe Kaiden can fix him

Other pairings I like: Tali/Reeger (that dude was so in love with her it's amazing), EDI/Joker, Wrex/Bakura, Nyreen/Aria, Cortez/Vega

Favorite NPC: Anderson, Councilor Sparatus because he's a dick but he comes through for you in the end, Saren, Nihlus for the five seconds you get to know him, Kirrahe, Nyreen Kandros, Primarch Victus, Aria (she's very hot), the bartender in the Asari bar, Biotic God Volus, Padok Wikks

Favorite antagonist: SOVEREIGN. Hands down, he is the most terrifying thing you encounter in the games. He's just so other, so alien, and so...mechanical. His lines are delivered with this matter-of-fact contempt that is so perfect for a sentient machine. He has no motive other than he just Is. And I love that. Harbinger never shut up, but Sovereign knew when to start and end a conversation. He said his piece and he said nothing more. And that is exactly how you introduce an Eldritch Being.

Favorite mission: Noveria. I loved meeting Lorik, and how the whole thing spirals down from dirty business deals to all out creep-fest when you encounter the Rachni. And the Rachni Queen's voice acting was stellar. She was just sympathetic enough to warrant pause from outright killing her and terrifying enough to consider it.

Favorite loyalty mission: Its a tie in between Garrus and Kasumi. Garrus for how it ties into his relationship with Shepard and just how their death truly affected him and how it reflects on his character (I have only allowed him to shoot Sidonis once, and it was not a good feeling). And Kasumi because dressing Shepard up is always a good time and Kasumi is a sassy, classy lady who lost someone dear to her and giving her that closure she needs makes me happy for her. She deserves pretty things. She's also cute as hell.

Favorite DLC: Either Citadel, Omega (for Nyreen), or Overlord because David's story made me cry. I'm also autistic and the story was handled very well with Shepard being so furiously angry that the Paragon Interrupt was to pistol whip Gavin was very cathartic for me.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy? 100% Destroy. I do not and will not trust the Walmart-brand Alexa that is the Catalyst. That little asshole is dying with the rest of those genocidal machines.

Favorite weapon: The Talon Heavy Pistol. Baby can pack a punch.

Favorite place: I actually really love the beauty of the Ardat Yakshi monastery. I hate that the Reapers destroy it and turn it into someplace so nightmarish but it really was such a beautiful building and felt really peaceful beforehand.

A quote I like: "You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it."

#mass effect tril #Tag game I guess

2 notes · View notes

queercraftingchonk · 3 years

Text

Shepard Hosts a Samhain “Dumb Supper” on the Normandy

I always enjoy the holiday Mass Effect fics; there's a plethora of cute Halloween drabbles out there. As a Celtic Pagan, I crave seeing a Pagan Shepard celebrate Samhain this time of year. (Don't have the current time/energy to bring that into reality at the moment. To hold me over, have a summarized thought experiment on how it would go...) So my mind wandered to the beauty of Shepard hosting a "Dumb Supper" on the Normandy--a Samhain tradition for some NeoPagans, and a ritual I've held a few times personally...

Shepard is terrible at cooking, and thus employs Kaidan and James to help bake Soul Cakes and an autumnal meal. Neither Garrus nor Tali know exactly what dex meals to prepare, so Shepard ordered some Palaven dishes ahead of time and froze them. Kaidan works on defrosting and cooking them up, obsessively checking the notes on his omni-tool to be sure he won't accidentally poison his dextro-amino friends with poor cooking.

Samantha Traynor and EDI craft an absolutely gorgeous tablescape of black cloth, black plates, Earth autumnal leaves, and (electric) candles. Every place setting has extra utensils and condiments, just in case. The one real candle sits at the Head of the Table where the Spirits of the Departed are assigned to sit in honor. A small, cast iron cauldron sits nearby.

Mordin's old coffee mug sits next to the wine glasses for the Spirits. (Miranda was sure to buy the Sur'Kesh beans the salarian doctor was fond of.) Kolyat comes aboard before the dinner, nervous but warmed by the invitation. At Shepard's request, he's brought some of the candies he remembers both his parents once enjoyed on Kahje. (Grunt is obsessed with the little hanar-shaped sour gummies and grumbles a bit that he can't eat them because they're for "the ghosts". Steve Cortez overhears the young krogan's disappointment and sneakily requisitions an order of the gummies for next week's shipment.)

Guests are asked to wait in the Lounge where they can mingle and chat. Pens and paper are strewn about the bar with a little sign written in Shepard's chicken-scratch penmanship: "Write a letter to a passed loved one. These notes are for the deceased, not the living. Your letters won't be shared. Feel free to write one letter for everyone, just a message for one person/ancestor, or make several individual notes for various spirits."

Garrus has three crumpled papers and a frustrated look on his face. His mandible flick in annoyance as he struggles to write a letter to his mother. Joker is similarly struggling writing a note to his dad and sister. When he says, "We better not find out we need postage to the afterlife to send these damn things," some tension is relieved and the men laugh.

Samara, Tali, Jacob, and Kasumi sit at the poker table and chat, gushing over the pics Jacob is sharing with them of his son. (His partner is watching him; a fussy toddler won't be able to stay quiet for a Dumb Supper.)

Liara and Wrex catch up while Javik sits with unusual amounts of tact after being thoroughly warned by Liara to be respectful of this tradition. However, he seemed less apt to call the ritual 'primitive' even if his initial reaction was one of nihilistic cynicism. He remains contemplative.

When the first batch of Soul Cakes comes out burnt, Zaeed steps in to salvage the second batch and grumbles about yankees' inability to bake a goddamn decent shortbread. (Turns out the merc is a surprisingly good baker.) Jack steals a burnt soul cake with a quick biotic slight-of-hand; before she can eat it, Dr. Chakwas swats it out of her hand. Smirking at the biotic's affronted expression, she puts it back on the tray. "Our special guests get served first, Jack."

"It was a shitty one!" Jack cries. Chakwas quirks a brow, and the matter fizzles, leaving James and Kaidan smirking. (Kaidan already wrote a letter to Ashley; it's been secured in his back pocket all morning. Her favorite beer is chilling in the fridge next to Jenkin's favorite hard cider.)

EDI briefly disables the fire alarms so Shepard can cleanse the mess hall with juniper incense and a slapdash bottle of blessed water she managed to make while on Earth visiting Anderson's grave.

Finally, the time comes; with EDI pumping a gentle dinner bell noise through the Normandy, the dinner guests file in and take their assigned seats at the very large table. (Garrus and Joker feverishly finish their letters, jam the envelopes into their respective pockets, and stumble out of the lounge last.)

Shepard sits opposite the Head of the Table where the Spirits sit. The electric tealights along the Samhain centerpiece equal the number of lives listed on the Normandy's memorial wall--plus two: one for Irikah Krios and one for Robert Cortez.

The food is served with the Honored Guests first; Miranda pours Mordin's coffee as Kaidan uses a Biotic pulse to flick off the cap of Ashley's beer and Jenkin's cider. The plate for the Dead is piled high with hot levo-foods. The guests are then served from oldest to youngest; Wrex wears a smug grin while Grunt does the krogan version of a pout.

Once everyone is served, Shepard moves to hold hands with everyone; Garrus to her right, Tali to her left. Eventually all guests hold hands (even Jack, who swallowed a mumble of annoyance) and Shepard says a silent prayer. Once done, everyone eagerly digs into the food. The only sounds are everyone's enjoyment of the meal.

Before dessert, Shepard leads off the letter sending. She has several envelopes which she places in the small tabletop cauldron. Using a long match, she lights it on the Honored Dead candle and then safely burns the paper notes. (Grunt and Jack are noticably more excited now that they get to burn stuff.) Shepard then sits down, and clockwise, folks go up, take a moment to respect the Head of the Table, and send their letters in flame to the afterlife. Kaidan and EDI begin handing out dessert once Garrus's letter burns to ash in the cauldron.

Shepard and Tali almost burst into laughter when EDI--eyeing Joker knowingly--places a charging cable beside the Spirits dinner plate (ostensibly for Legion). Jeff is thrilled and wears a smirk, having received the reaction he hoped for.

As folks finish dinner, they each get up and pay respects at the Head Chair. (Once Grunt leaves the mess hall, Shepard chuckles as she hears him lament "wasted food" regarding the offerings.) The reactions range from quick and casual to heavy and misty-eyed.

Eventually, Shepard is alone with the dishes. Her heart is overflowing, bolstered by the presence of loved ones living and dead. Before she begins cleaning up the cauldron and used dishes, she listens quietly for the voices beyond the veil.

A tear escapes when she hears Anderson whisper, "I'm so proud of you."

Happy Samhain everyone~

#mass effect #mass effect fanfiction #samhain #Pagan Shepard #normandy crew #commander shepard #garrus vakarian #EDI #Kaidan alenko #jeff moreau #Dr. Chakwas #Jack Subject Zero #the crew celebrating mourning and loving #sincerely a Pagan Mass Effect fan #urdnot grunt #sour hanar gummies

27 notes · View notes

rhysintherain · 3 years

Text

Playing mass effect when it came out versus now: supporting characters

Liara

Then: she's so pretty, and smart, and she knows so much about archaeology!

Now: sweet girl, but she's like 22, and if you two get together she will continue to be 22 for the rest of your life!

Garrus

Then: this dude is so cool! Stick it to the man! It you want something done right do it yourself, who needs rules?

Now: we have talked 3 times and 2 and a half of those conversations have ended with you asking for permission to straight up murder someone. What the hell is wrong with you??

Wrex

Then: he's pretty hard to deal with, but it never hurts to have a big scary dude on your side.

Now: (sitting at the bar) have you ever heard of the babysitter's club Wrex? Because some days I feel like we're it.

Tali

Then: Tali is admittedly one of my very favorite characters in the series. I very much related to her fixing everything with scraps of something else and being in awe of anything built in the last 50 years.

Now: can quarrians be neurodivergent? Because I feel like I may have overlooked that as one of the reasons I relate to Tali so much...

Ashley

Then: does she get less annoying in later games? Don't know, I never let her survive that long.

Now: talking to Ashley is the only thing that makes me even remotely agree with Garrus on the topic of shooting people.

I'm still about as ambivalent about Kaidan as I've always been.

#mass effect #mass effect legendary #still fun but there are absolutely things that haven't aged well

3 notes · View notes

theoriginalladya · 4 years

Text

WIP Whenever

Just part of an idea that I’ve been toying with all night. We’ll see if it shakes out in the final wash or not. Needs A LOT of work if I keep it in the final draft.

~~~~

War is hell.

With the bomb defused and Tuchanka safe once more, the shuttle flight back to the Normandy happens in silence. For that, he’s eternally grateful. His thoughts are focused inward, memories of another departure, another loss, another face. The ache it left behind has faded over time, but kicks back to life easily enough. By the time Cortez lands in the shuttle bay, it’s all he can do just to exit. He stows his armor in his locker and leaves the weapons for Cortez and Vega to go over before jumping onto the lift and heading up. He doesn’t wait for Kaidan or Tali, and neither call for him to do so.

Fifteen minutes later, report written and sent off to Hackett and Victus, he strips down and hops into the shower. Long minutes pass, the water sluicing over his body, the steam filling the small room until he can barely see over at the mirror. Fiery hot, the thought it might burn away the memories is ridiculous, but something he can’t stop. By the time it runs cold, he accepts that loss and exits.

He dresses quickly, opting for something more casual this time but still sporting his N7 stripes and logo for a semi-professional look. The uniform – the fatigues, even – make the memories worse at the moment. Before leaving, he checks his messages; a reply back from Victus, pretty much as expected, given what he knows of the turians, but nothing from Hackett yet. There’s another message from an unexpected source. Not in the mood to deal with it on the heels of the Tuchanka mission, he downloads it to his omni-tool for later. Exiting the cabin, he disregards the lift, and climbs down through the maintenance shafts to the CIC. No one is surprised by the maneuver – he’s done it before – and by the time he arrives, Traynor informs him that Admiral Hackett is on comms for him.

His debrief with the admiral takes five minutes or less which is good, as far as Caleb is concerned, because with so many quarian admirals aboard at the moment and all of them seemingly needing to use the War Room for their purposes, he has no doubt ears are listening. Afterward, he heads back out to the CIC and catches the lift down to the engineering level. He knocks at Kaidan’s door, but there’s no response, so he retraces his steps to the crew deck, ducking into the port side observation lounge.

The room is quiet when he enters, save for some soft music coming from the system near the bar. Walking over, Caleb switches it to something slower, more somber with a bluesy sort of feel, then he turns to the bar. Tucked away on the lower shelf, behind Vega’s favorite brand of tequila and Donnelly’s scotch, is an unassuming bottle with no label, no brand. He snags this between his fingers, carefully removing it without knocking it against the others then hunts for a pair of glasses. He pours two-fingers full in each before closing it and setting it on the top of the bar. Just as the glass hits the counter, the door whooshes open and he glances over as Kaidan walks in. Taking one glass in hand, he lifts it in his direction. “You’re just in time.”

Kaidan doesn’t even blink. His steps slow as he nears, as if he’s afraid he’s interrupting something, but Caleb nudges the other glass in his direction. “It’s for you,” he reassures him.

He frowns, but accepts the glass. “Not exactly a mission I’d call worth celebrating,” he says.

“Not celebrating,” Caleb replies. He lifts his glass, tilting it slightly at the empty seat next to Kaidan. “May you be in heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you’re dead,” he murmurs. He downs the drink all at once. Kaidan, he notices, follows suit. When both glasses are back on the bar, he fills them again.

“That was a hell of a mission,” Kaidan says when the glass is nudged back at him a moment later. One eyebrow arches slightly as he asks, “You … aren’t trying to get me drunk, are you?”

Caleb snorts, caps the bottle and puts it back on the shelf behind him before he replies. “Not today,” he promises with a soft chuckle. This time when he lifts the glass, he says, “Sláinte mhaith.” This time, he takes a sip before setting the glass down.

“Cheers.” He, too, only takes a small sip. “So?”

“So.” Caleb pulls up his omni-tool and opens the message he downloaded earlier. “Got one more toast left in you?” he asks absently as he skims over it. The minute he saw the sender’s tag, he suspected its origin. He hates it when he’s right sometimes. Timing. Why today, of all days? Turning his attention back to Kaidan, he asks, “Do you remember that day back in Vancouver?”

A soft, inelegant snort of amusement escapes Kaidan’s lips. “Shepard, I spent half my life in Vancouver,” he reminds him. “I remember a lot of days back there. You’ll need to be more specific.”

A wry smile twists at Caleb’s lips. “After the Battle of the Citadel,” he clarifies. “At the memorial.”

The memorial. Kaidan’s eyes drop to stare at the liquid in his glass. “Yeah,” he replies softly. “I remember.” When he glances back up, he adds, “I was thinking about Ash, too.”

“I figured as much.” Caleb takes another sip. “Do you remember the woman I was speaking with as you and your parents arrived that day?”

Kaidan frowns, head tilting slightly. A moment later, he replies, “I remember … someone, but I not the face.”

“About five foot eight, short dark hair, brown eyes.”

“You’re going to have to narrow it down a bit more than that.”

Caleb swirls the liquid in his glass, stares at the motion. “A freshly minted second lieutenant by name of Williams.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Caleb sees Kaidan freeze. “Lieutenant? Williams?”

“Younger sister,” he explains. “She headed off to basic shortly after Ashley joined the Normandy. Right before Virmire, I’d sent a message off to Anderson and Hackett trying to stir up something to get Ash the promotion she deserved.” The rest of the drink goes down in one fell swoop after that and he sets the glass aside. “When she … didn’t make it, they made sure Abby did.”

#ladya writes #when the muses attack #Caleb Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #mshenko #ashley williams #turian platoon mission #Cerberus bomb mission #mass effect fanfiction #this is only about half of what I managed to write

21 notes · View notes

swaps55 · 5 years

Note

Okay, you asked for it! lol [insert prompt here] - I'd like to see more of how you write Kaidan and Ashley, simply because I get that brother/sister feel from them when you write them and I LOVE it! (if you feel like it, add a splash of Tali or Wrex or Garrus?)

Ashley, quite honestly, is my favorite person to write. :)

The Sangria Problem

Kaidan’s not more than two steps out of the Citadel airlock before Ashley grabs him by the front of the shirt. “Come on,” she says. “You're buying me a drink.”

“Wait, what?”

She doesn’t answer, just starts walking, Kaidan’s shirt still trapped in her fist. He half trips, hops once, somehow manages to keep his feet.

“Ashley, I have things—”

“I spent all day yesterday up to my ass in fucking monkeys while you and Shepard sauntered off to go stick your fingers in a prothean electrical socket and take a nap,” she replies, not bothering to look over her shoulder. “You’re buying me a drink.”

“Um, ok.”

He half expects her to drag him to Chora’s Den strictly out of spite, but it turns out her disdain for pole dancing is greater than her desire to see him suffer, so they end up at the casino instead.

“So what am I buying you?” he asks as they park at a table.

“Something fruity with an umbrella.”

“Really?” he asks, cocking his head in surprise.

Ashley waves a careless hand. “I’m talking at least three different kinds of fruit, and if you can score an extra umbrella, all’s the better.”

“Ok,” he says with a shrug. “Whatever you say.”

When he returns with the drink – sangria mixed with…other things, and resplendent with no less than three umbrellas – she sighs happily and closes her eyes before taking the first sip.

“Life on the Normandy can really drive a girl to drink,” she says. “If I’d had any idea searching monkey shit was going to be a requirement I would have thought harder about staying.”

“Bullshit,” Kaidan says good naturedly. He’s gotten a beer for himself, but the more he looks at Ashley’s concoction the more he kind of wishes he’d gotten two of them.

“Yeah, well,” she gripes.

“For what it’s worth,” he says, offering up his glass. “Thank you for running point on the monkeys.”

She clinks her glass with his. “You’re welcome. At least tell me you took advantage of having alone time on one of the only scenic planets we have ever been to, to hit on your commander.”

Kaidan nearly chokes on his beer. Some of the drink sloshes out the rim of the cup as he slams it to the table. Great. It’ll go beautifully with the dribble running down his chin.

Ashley hands him a napkin, eyebrow raised. “I’m going to take that as a no.”

He snatches the napkin from her and begins wiping up the mess. “Ashley, why would I—”

She leans forward with her elbows on the table. “Because your poker face is only good when there’s cards involved. You’ve known Shepard for how many years now?”

“Four,” he says, too quickly to deny he’d been keeping count.

“And let me guess. You’ve been secretly in love with him for…four of those years?”

Oh boy. Kaidan takes a long pull of his beer, stopping just short of downing the whole thing. He stares at what remains, reconsiders, and then swallows that, too. Going to the bar for another drink will at least give him a few minutes to regroup, in addition to foregoing beer for Ashley’s sangria-thing.

Ashley hooks his chair with her foot and locks it in place just as he tries to get up. “I don’t think so,” she informs him, then flags down a passing waiter.

“He’ll have one of these,” she informs him, pointing to her glass.

She slouches back in her chair after the waiter leaves, arms folded across her chest, expectant look in her eye.

He signs in agitation, squeezing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. “Please. Don’t look at me like that.”

“Kaidan.”

He opens one eye. Her expression is more sympathetic now, but there’s a glint in his eye that informs him the only way out of this conversation is a conveniently located hull breach right under his chair.

“You are not the first person to be in love with their commanding officer.”

“I hardly think I’m unique,” he scoffs.

Her voice softens. “Why haven’t you told him?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Is it?” she asks.

“Ash, he’s humanity’s first Spectre. He’s tasked with taking down a madman, and in the process we accidentally discovered that he’s working for a race of sentient killer machines. So failing our mission could mean the literal end of life as we know it. Oh, and he’s carrying around an undeciphered message from an alien race that’s been dead for fifty thousand years in his brain all because I had to go and stick my fingers in a different prothean electrical socket. Yes. It’s complicated.”

“Yeah, but that’s recent. What about four years ago? What stopped you then?”

He sighs again. The waiter brings his drink, and he gratefully takes a good, long pull. “Because…by the time I realized it…” He closes his eyes and looks up at the ceiling. “I loved him too much to risk losing him.” He looks back down, toying with the straw before summoning the courage to meet her gaze. “I didn’t know how to tell him. I still don’t.”

He expects another smartass remark. Or a lecture. At least a roll of her eyes. Instead she reaches across the table and grabs his hand.

“That sucks,” she says simply.

Ashley Williams. Always a surprise.

“Yeah,” he says, releasing a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “It does.”

“Wanna get drunk?”

“Yes,” he says after a pause. “I do.”

She pats him on the hand. “Attaboy. Don’t worry. I’ll hold your hair back if and when the mission calls for it.” She puts her hand up in the air as the waiter swings back around. “Two more, please,” she calls out. “Heavy on the umbrellas.”

She raises her glass again. “To getting shitfaced over unrequited love.”

He clinks her glass. “To good friends who get shitfaced with you.”

“Yeah,” she says with a wink. “Just remember that the next time monkeys are involved.”

#theoriginaladya #mshenko #kaidan alenko #ashley williams #team milky way #my fic #meme replies #mememe #theoriginalladya

98 notes · View notes

misseffect · 4 years

Text

VIDEO GAME TAG

Me: gets tagged

Also me: immediately forgets every video game i've ever played

Thanks to @thealexmachina for this - it made me think about games I haven't thought about in years! Tagging @shepgarrus @zaeedmassanis & @garriante (but only if you fancy it).

Games

First game you ever played: oh boy, probably Monsters Inc on GBA. I'm a woman of culture, you see.

Favorite game: LoZ: Twilight Princess. It was the first game I'd played with a story that utterly hooked me. And my first LoZ title.

Game you’ve played through multiple times: Lego Star Wars. BF is making me watch the prequels atm and I keep recognising rooms from the games. If they just smash up those chairs they'll get some studs and an extra heart.

Game you hated at first but now love: Shadow of Mordor. Hate is a strong word. Didn't care for it initially and it's not normally my type, but it was actually a lot of fun.

Game you used to love but now hate: Okami. It's beautiful and the mechanics are cool, but there's this stupid fucking digging mini game that I just cannot beat. Non-optional mini games can eat my whole ass. I put it down last year in a rage and never picked it back up.

Your favorite game atmosphere/setting(s): RDR2. Rockstar's worldbuilding is second to none - the dialogue, the locations, the horses, the little bits of lore scattered through the world for you to find. Stunning. Very close second goes to BotW because the peaceful post-apocalypse vibe is really refreshing. And it also has horses.

A game with your favorite ending: LA Noire. Sometimes shit's broken and people are difficult and the bad guys get away with it, and there's nothing you can do about it but god damnit do we we try anyway. That final sequence in the sewers was some high-octane shit.

A game with the WORST ending: obligatory Mass Effect 3. Otherwise, Skyrim because it just never fucking ends. 100+hrs in and you're a Dragonborn Arch-Mage Dark Brotherhood assassin vampire Nightingale warewolf who could kill a Giant with a sneeze but half the quests are broken so you can't bloody finish anything properly.

Best character customization?: New Horizons. Fight me.

Hero and Companions

Your favorite playable character: FemShep, obviously. Corvo from Dishonoured is also very cool.

The funniest playable character: ooh that's a tough one. Arthur from RDR2 doesn't get enough credit imo. He's a funny dude.

Your favorite companion(s): Midna from Twilight Princess. The bit after the water temple where she gets hurt you have to take her to Hyrule Castle in the dark and the rain? Yeah. Honourable mention to Wrex from ME and Bekowsky from LA Noire. We only get them both as actual companions really briefly which a shame.

Companions you could live without: Thane. Sorry buddy, I just didn't care about you at all.

Relationships

Favorite game friendship(s): Arthur and Lenny from RDR2. FemShep and Ashley are hugely underrated in the fandom imo - there's a scene in the Citadel DLC where you both get hammered and start a bar fight. Just gals bein dudes. Also Phoenix and Maya from the Ace Attorney series for the 10/10 sibling dynamic and found family wholesomeness.

Favorite game relationship(s): Shepard and Garrus because I'm always a slut for relationships built on a foundation of mutual trust and respect. Also the one in Transistor. You know the one.

Favorite companion banter: gotta be the OG Mass Effect alien squad - Garrus, Wrex, Tali and Liara. I love how their interactions evolve through the games.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Alistair and the Warden. They got off on the wrong foot initially in my first Origins play-through but he's a sweetheart really.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: every Star Wars game should have a Gonk Droid companion option and that's the tea.

A character you wish you COULD romance: Morrigan. You expect me to believe the swamp witch is straight? Please.

Fun

Shoutout to a random NPC: ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SONOFABITCH IN SPACE.

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: the Uncharted series. I'd give anything for a PC port, Sony. ANYTHING.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: literally any horror game. Until Dawn, Dead Space, etc. But even then I never watch them full screen and usually only have one headphone on.

Online gaming or solo?: Solo. The only online game I really play is GTA V because I don't have friends.

Why do you play video games?: I don't read a lot at the moment so they get me my fiction fix, and games like Animal Crossing and Stardew Valley are thereputic. And I just think they're neat.

#tag post #tag game #it me #i can't remember how ive tagged these before #i wrote this on mobile because apparently i enjoy suffering

8 notes · View notes

mai-nonsense · 4 years

Note

Basics: 2, 6. Appearance: 4. Personality: 3, 8,9. Background: 1, 5. Relationships: 1, 3, 4, 7. Fun facts: 1, 7, 10.

*claps hands together* Alright! I'm going to do the answers for my Shepards, otherwise I'll be here all week.

2. What does their name mean? Why are they named that?

Jane: The original reason she's named that is because I was too lazy to think of a name so I just went with the default (she was my first ever Shepard), now I Headcannon that she went by Shepard until she joined up with the alliance, so she chose the name Jane because it's the only one that came to mind

Cassidy: I don't really pay attention to what names actually mean when I name characters, but I named her that b/c it's pretty and she just kinda looked like Cassidy

Henri: Henry is a family name on both sides of my family, but I wanted to use it as for a femshep b/c I like androgynous names (partly because I have one, but also because I think there should be more of them in circulation)

Damien: His name was originally Darren but I changed it b/c my sister and mum pointed out that Darren's a bit bogan. And instead of owning it I covered it up like a coward. I renamed him Damien because my favorite Robin is Damian Wayne and litteraly no other reason

Vance: named after the singer Vance Joy, b/c his songs have a lot of emotional significance to me and I like the name

Ryan: he's my only actual Canadian Shepard and my mum and I have a running joke about all Canadians being named Ryan (b/c of Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling etc.) So he's Ryan.

6. What's their star sign, birthstone etc? Does it hold any special significance for them?

All of them besides Vance have Shepard's canon birthday and none of them besides Cassidy have any belief in that kind of thing. Cassidy is a quietly spiritual kind of woman so she likes the whole star sign/ birthstone kind of thing, but she'd never admit out loud.

4. Appearance- How do they carry themselves? What is their default expression?

Jane has resting bitch face. She walks around like she's going to go beat someone up, probably because she usually is.

Cassidy has a very casual, approachable demeanor about her. Her go-to expression is either concern or pouting.

Henri carries herself shoulders back, chin up and head held high. Her usual expression is a mix of serious and thoughtful

Damien carries himself like a serious soldier but with a hint of sadness, he has resting sad face

Vance also walks around like he's looking for a fight and he's usually scowling

Ryan has a cocky swagger and usually has a sideways smile on his face

Personality 3. What are their hobbies and interests?

Jane: Is gun-modding a hobby? Because if so then that's one of them. She genuinely enjoys the combat part of being a soldier and enjoys training herself to be a deadly weapon, a side effect of growing up in the reds most likely. She doesn't really have many interests outside of being a solider, and doesn't really eat anything outside of protein bars and ready-meals.

Cassidy: she likes to mod games in her spare time, and practices her hacking skills a lot in order to keep herself sharp. She has a fondness for Turian and Salarian pop-culture, video games especially.

Henri: Henri likes hard copy books, with old-fashioned dust jackets and everything. Even with new release publications, she'll always go out of her way to find a hard copy if she really wants to read it. She usually reads non-fiction but she's a sucker for a good romance novel.

Damien: Also throws himself into his work so much that he barely has any free time. On the rare occasion that he does, he likes to build things, usually model ships or card towers (which he knocks down immediately after)

Vance: Vance actually really enjoys cooking, it's something he used to do with his mum when he was little so it's his way of keeping her alive in spirit

Ryan: Ryan has a penchant for old earth comic books and music from the 20/21st century, he likes to draw and regularly carries a sketchbook

8. What are their manners like? Any habits?

Jane's manners are atrocious. She's straightforward, tactless and blunt, which gets her in trouble quite a bit. She's not a fan of sparing feelings, if you're doing something that's pissing her off, she'll let you know

Cassidy is also pretty blunt, but has a lot more tact and isn't as crass as Jane. She's nice whenever possible but she doesn't skirt around issues

Henri is anxious people-pleaser that always looks for the best in everyone at heart, but has a polite but proffesional exterior.

Damien varies depending on his mood, Mass Effect 1 Damien is polite and proffesional but that drops as time goes by. By the time ME:3 rolls around he is 1000% done and doesn't have time to put up with anyone's shit and reacts to social situations accordingly

Vance goes in the opposite direction to Damien, starts off rude and aggressive but gradually softens as time goes by.

Ryan has decent manners, but can often be inappropriate in social situations

9. What are they most afraid of?

Jane: before falling for Kaidan, it's falling for Kaidan, because she hates having intense emotions about people that she can't control. After falling for Kaidan, it's anything bad happening to Kaidan. She doesn't really care for her own well-being but she constantly worries about and will protect her friends and loved ones at all costs.

Cassidy: Dying. Specifically, dying again and Garrus continuing down the dark path she found him on after her resurrection. She'd hate for him to completely lose hope like that again.

Henri: dissapointing those around her.

Damien: Also letting everyone down.

Vance: Everyone he cares about dying painfully.

Ryan: spiders.

Background, 1. Where were they born, what was their childhood like?

Jane was born in Brisbane, believe it or not, she gets carted off to one of her aunts in America at age 4. After that it's foster home to home for her until she ditches them for the reds at 10. Needless to say, her childhood was rough.

Both Vance and Henri were born and raised on Mindoir. They both had good childhoods until Batarians killed their families.

Damien was born in Chicago. He spent his childhood being bandied about from alliance ship to alliance ship. He spent a lot of his childhood alone.

Cassidy was born in New York, but has the spacer background. Her mother had a much more caring presence then Damien's however, so she grew up well.

Ryan was born in Montreal, spent his childhood in and out of foster homes until he was 14, when he joined the reds for protection. Despite this, he views his childhood in a positive light, as he knows he's come a long way since those days.

5. Where do they currently live? What's their place like?

I'm going to skip this one because I don't have a good answer for any of them at the moment lol.

Relationships, 1. Do they have any friends? Who would they consider their best friend?

Jane has more friends/people who care about her then she thinks she does. She considers her best friend to be either Miranda or Liara.

Cassidy gives off chill older sister vibes and treats her crew as family, so a lot of people come to her for support or just for an ear. She loves talking tech with Tali and considers her to be her best friend, with Ashley coming in as a close second.

Henri initially has more colleagues then friends, but she learns to loosen up and to have a more relaxed approach to the people she cares about. She considers her best friends to be Kaidan and Joker (though her feelings for Joker develop into something more ever time)

Damien has the ruthless background, so he's more feared then loved. He's also quite socially awkward so it's hard for him to make friends to begin with. Despite this, the people who do call him friend do so wholeheartedly. He considers his best friend to be Garrus.

Vance, despite being an asshole, actually has a lot of friends. Because he's a loveable asshole. His best friend is either Liara or Jack.

Ryan is very likeable, and is often the life of the party. But people more look up to him then actually consider him a friend. He considers Kaidan his best friend. (who he's also secretly in love with, but shhhhhhh we'll get to that)

3. What's their love life like? Do they have any kids?

I'm currently using Jane as my "Kaidan as subject zero AU" Shepard, because I think she fits so well with subject0!Kaidan, as I love writing stories about two hardened badasses who just want to be loved, falling in love. Non-au Jane also ends up with Kaidan, and have a daughter named Astra

Cassidy is one of my two Shakarian Sheps, who gets the more 'traditional' happy ending out of the two. That is, she retires somewhere nice with Garrus and they adopt a bunch of orphans together.

Henri is my one and only Joker-mancer, one of these days I will write their story (once I finish planning it out lol) but I currently have other projects at the forefront. As for kids, neither Henri or Joker want them because there would be to many medical factors/lifestyle changes they'd have to consider and they couldn't put that burden on a kid.

Damien's life motto is: no kids, only dogs and he manages to stick by that pretty well. When Vance (his half-brother) has kids he settles into the role of cool uncle though. Though Damien thought he wasn't one for romance at all, he somehow fell in love with Kaidan without realizing it and they eventually end up together.

Vance and Ashley fall hard for each other, and after many hardships and triumphs, they eventually marry and have three kids together

Ryan sleeps around a bit but spends the duration of ME:1 and 2 pining for Kaidan but never saying anything b/c he doesn't want to make it awkward™. Naturally they end up together but it takes a while. Am currently undecided on whether they have kids together or not.

4. Who do they look up to? Who do they trust?

Jane: Anderson. He took her under his wing and believed in her when nobody else did. She comes to trust her inner circle in time. That consisting primarly of Kaidan, Miranda, Jack, Liara, Garrus and Wrex.

Cassidy: Her mother, as she managed to give her a good childhood while in the military as a single mum. She trusts Garrus and Tali with her life.

Henri: Anderson and Hackett both, as they've always pushed her to do her best. She trusts in her crew, as, in her eyes, they've never let her down.

Damien: Hackett, as he gave him a second chance after Torfan and promised him that he wouldn't let him down. People don't trust him on impulse so the people whose trust he earns always have his in return.

Vance, Anderson and Samara. Anderson because he helped him after he lost his family on Mindoir and Samara because she's a powerful biotic with a commanding presence and he learns a lot about discipline from her. Vance eventually learns to trust Damien after not wanting him anywhere near his life for a long time.

Ryan: He tries to find a way to learn at least something from everyone he encounters, good or bad. He doesn't really trust anyone for a very long time but gradually comes to trust in his ME:3 crew

7. Are they good with kids? Animals?

Jane: Surprisingly, yes. Though it can depend on the kid or animal in question *cough star child cough*. She strives to protect those who can't defend themselves and improve lives for future generations.

Cassidy: Very good with both.

Henri: She grew up a farm girl, so she's pretty great with animals. She's good with kids until they start screeching and then she promptly nopes out.

Damien: Good with animals, dogs in particular. Is okay with kids, but doesn't really like interacting with them unless he has a good reason (like them being his niece and nephews).

Vance: Despite growing up a farm boy, he's not too big an animal lover. He loves his own kids, but isn't too big on them in general.

Ryan: Used to hang out with stray cats as a teen. Decent kid-wrangler™.

Fun facts, 1. Which tropes do they fit? which archetypes?

Jane fits the "does bad things for a good goal" trope and potentially fits the stereotypical "bad girl" archetype as well

Cassidy fits with the "protective matriarch/sister" archetype/trope

Henri gives me "girl next door", but with a gun, vibes

Damien fits the "everyone thinks he's evil, but he's really just misunderstood" trope

Vance is def an "asshole with a heart of gold"

Ryan's a himbo

7. What languages do they speak?

Vance knows a tiny bit of Mandarin, and Ryan speaks okay Canadian French, everyone else speaks English and only English for now, though that may change as I find out more about them.

10. What songs remind you of them?

Jane: Missile, Dorothy

Cassidy: Dead Weight, PVRIS

Henri: CHAMPION, Bishop Brigs

Damien: The Phoenix, Fall Out Boy

Vance: What's Up Danger, Blackway ft. Black Caviar

Ryan: You're Gonna Go Far Kid, The Offspring

WOW. I just did a big old-fashioned info dump right there. Sorry about that.

Thanks for the ask!!!

#ask meme #oc asks #crqstalite

5 notes · View notes

annakie · 5 years

Photo

An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Five

Will we make it off the Citadel in this update??

List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Flux is my favorite bar in all of the first game, I know there’s not many to choose from, but I like the music best, everybody’s clothed, everyone’s having a good time, there’s slots upstairs for entertainment, there’s dancing, and plenty of space to chill out in. Also the color scheme is great. It looks particularly great now with the graphics mod improvements.

Doran gets a nice glamour shot here.

I’m a tattle tale who always turns this guy in. I agree with Kaidan...

Also I really love Rita’s quest with her sister. She loves her sister, Jenna wants to be helpful, even Doran’s like “Hey I’d love to give her her job back.” Everyone here is pretty wholesome. And Jenna gets one of the best surprise appearances in ME3 if you do things right. ME1Recalibrated fixes the bugs with her quest, too!

Speaking of bugged quests, Hello Conrad! ME1Recalibrated fixes Conrad’s bug, and even if it doesn’t, ME2Re does. The only bad thing about that is it makes his apology for accusing you of something you maybe didn’t do make no sense.

Everyone else was sure Conrad would turn out to be evil, too, right? Instead making him into just a big lying dummy with an advanced degree was a great move. I was kinda hoping he’d show up in the Citadel DLC.

Harkin is JUST the FUCKING WORST. I’m always tempted to let Garrus cap him in ME2 because what a waste of air he is and doesn’t learn his lesson.

This is also maybe the most overt place where FemShep experiences sexism. I mean, don’t get me wrong, there’s some pretty shitty sexism sprinkled throughout the games (as discussed a bit last post) but ugh this guy, if I could shoot him this game, I might. At least on renegade playthroughs.

Speaking of Garrus...

Finally, an alien who wants to hang out with us.

As primarily a Kaidan-romancing gal, who tends to keep up with the Kaidan Alenko tag, especially back in the heyday of tumblr, for a while, loving Garrus was... difficult.

In October, when I was finishing up my latest ME3 playthrough and also cleaning up my blog, and also rewatching Doctor Who and thinking a lot about Rose Tyler and Martha Jones, I posted a long thing in a post about Kaidan and Garrus and badly behaving fanbases, which I don’t feel like typing again. Here’s the whole thing, but I’m going to pull a part of it into here.

I love Garrus, so much. And I was thinking with this whole parallel DW rewatch / Mass Effect replay think I’m doing right now how both Rose Tyler and Garrus Vakaraian are characters that were ruined for me for awhile due to their respective… overly enthusiastic fanbases who a small percentage of were dicks to people who loved other characters. The Kaidan tag (and from what I understand Thane got some of this too, but not nearly as bad) was a pretty hostile place for awhile (and yeah I used to regularly check the Garrus tag too and there was a small amount of tag-invasion there but uh, like 5% of what the Kaidan tag got) which made loving the character of Garrus a lot harder for awhile. But when actually watching seasons 1 & 2 / the end of 4 of Doctor Who, or actually playing the ME games, those characters are awesome.

Fanbases can be amazing or terrible, and time and time again I think you start to realize that no matter how great a fandom is, there are going to be a few people who can only enjoy themselves by feeding on drama, or on lifting up what they love by stomping on other people/characters/plotlines.

It’s not fair to characterize everyone who loves a popular thing as someone who does this. It’s also hard to avoid completely because there will always be jerks, or young/new people who don’t realize what bad form they’re showing. I did learn by trying to fight it for a year or two, that responding might help that one person not do it again, but it’s not going to stop overall.

Anyway, don’t be a dick about the things you don’t like.

It’s sad that even thirteen years past the release of ME1 and eight years past ME3 some people still need to have this fight online. It’s basically impossible to enjoy like, any non-curated Mass Effect space online because of pissing contests or people spouting the same boring opinions. Which they’re entitled to. I’m just real tired of “Kaidan is boring!” “Ashley is a racist!” etc with no further depth of thought being given.

The ability to mute / block people and get away from the worst of it is one of the reasons I’m still on tumblr. Especially always mute/block “confessions” blogs. Yeesh.

---------

I’m glad Garrus is here, and I’m glad he’s on the team. What’s funny though, is that people tend to forget that Garrus like, wasn’t really all THAT popular of a character before ME2. I know I was only in the fandom for a year before ME2 but I dug in pretty deep in that time.

It wasn’t until he gets his face blown off and starts talking about Old Times that a lot of people started to REALLY like him. He’s still great in ME1, but not like, elevated to god-tier that so many people did post ME2 release. But in ME1 he IS neat because he’s really malleable. Probably the companion who can have the biggest personality shift depending on your choices.

Also, I remember a time when the people who wanted to romance Garrus were like... outliers? I remember thinking “GARRUS? As a romance? That’s... weird. Who would do that!?”

OH HOW I WAS WRONG. But that was before reach and flexibility.

Hey I even have a Shep that romanced Garrus in ME2 and ME3. And I loved it!

Were I to replay a different Shep, she’d be my first choice.

So yeah, I love Garrus, I keep Kaidan in the squad all the time in ME1 and the other spot I try to rotate everyone else somewhat evenly, but you’ll see plenty of him. Then ME2 he’s by my side most of the way. And an awful lot in ME3, too. But I’m happy for him to get crushed on by Dr. Michele and glad to see him and Tali find happiness in ME3. SO that’s the path we’ll be going down if we get that far here.

I love the Destiny Ascension flyby moment on the Citadel, and it’s so easy to miss. Also really hard to get good screenshots of. Thanks Flycam. Don’t pay attention to the untextured wall in the first pic, just look at the pretty lights!

Let’s go get another squadmate! This time, a not-as-initially-friendly alien!

What an amazing entrance for Urdnot Wrex.

“Do you want me to arrest you?”

“I want you to try!”

Hell. Yeah.

Here’s where the somewhat in somewhat evenly comes in. I probably do favor Wrex and Ashely in the squad in ME1 a little because... well you know what’s coming for Ash and Wrex you get the least amount of time with by far of the other companions. Also, he’s just... great? A tank, with some biotics and a shotgun... okay well so am I as a vanguard, but Kaidan has just enough tech powers for us to muddle through where we need to when Wrex is in the squad and he’s so much fun to have around. His “Fuck you, I don’t care” attitude is great, and his growth story throughout the trilogy is one of the best arcs a character gets, imho. I just really love Urdnot Wrex.

This is a real nice flight control office you’ve got here, C-Sec. It would be a shame if someone planted a bug in it later, since literally anyone can just walk on up here uncontested.

This entire area really is so pretty though.

I always pump points into Paragon as much as possible from as early on as possible, and saving these poor guys’ lives is one of the big reasons. They don’t need to die.

Ash usually still stays in the party up to this point, though sometimes it’s Garrus. Fist is still a dick in ME2 but he doesn’t need to die here, sorry Wrex.

...raise your hand if you still occasionally forget to pick up Emily Wong’s evidence and have to reload. I remembered! ...once I was almost out of Chora’s Den and had to turn around this time.

Kaidan? Kaidan my love? My darling... perhaps YOU shouldn’t be the one standing in the middle of the corridor with no barrier or protection? (I suppose I could scooch over but then I’d look less badass for these screenshots. Naaah.)

It’d be a shame if someone properly lit the corridor so we could see what’s going on.

But hey... TALI! Tali Tali Tali! The first quarian we see, and only one for... awhile? Is there another quarian in this entire game? I’m trying to remember and seriously can’t think of one.

Anyway, I love Tali, but another character you really need to ignore their most rabid fanbase portions of. Yikes, Talimancers were really something back in the day. The biggest problem I have with Tali being in the squad is that normally she’s REALLY useful against Geth and... not so much against just about anything else. She gets sidelined on my team more than I wish she would. Especially since she doesn’t show up until very late in ME2 and late-midway through ME3.

Finally, the proof we need. And the game continues to introduce new concepts to us with the Conduit and we hear the word Reapers for the first time. We also get a loredump on the quarians and the geth.

Tali’s voice doesn’t have quite as heavy of an accent in ME1 as it does in 2 and 3. I guess we can assume she’s lost part of it while on her pilgrimage? Picking up the local dialects a bit? The next two times we see her she’s just spent a lot of time with her own people.

Tali’s suit and omnitool look SO GOOD with the updated textures.

I swap Ash out and Tali in at this point, and usually finish up a few more quests along the way.

Ah, Septimus. You lovesick fool.

Honestly, the very best thing with Septimus is to bring Garrus here if you’re gonna romance him, have Garrus laugh at him for coming undone for love and then... well, ME2 and especially ME3 happen. But still. Septimus... always needs a kick in the pants but will get around to doing the right thing.

Hey here’s a cool thing ME1Recalibated does -- Morlan carries a Squad Iconic Armors stock, so you can always find tier-appropriate default look armor for you and all the squad. Very cool of you, Morlan. You are currently my favorite store on the Citadel. Now stop sending me spam, I didn’t sign up for your mailing list.

Look, I have questions about what exactly Xeltan told the consort and how... all that... works... but... I don’t think I actually want to ask them. Just.. let’s all shut up about all of it, it’s over now.

BTW, according to one of the novels, Councilor Anderson finds Ambassador Cayln super annoying. I need to re-read that book.

OK fine... I’ll go talk to the Council.

Coming at ya with Actual Proof and a quarian tagging along to back up the claims, the Council is ready to listen. And while not surprising that it’s finally time to become a Spectre, the actual ceremony is really well done. With the swelling theme music blaring, and all three councilors stressing what a big deal this is and what will be expected of you, you really feel the weight of this moment. People take notice. Although apparently later, Kaidan or Ash get an entire televised event around becoming a Spectre, I guess there’s no time for that right now.

It definitely feels like the game so far has been building towards this moment, not only with POUNDING it into your brain about who Spectres are and why they’re so important and letting you know you’re being evaluated... but it feels like there’s been a shift in the game after this moment. It’s A Big Deal.

I didn’t finish all the sidequests on the Citadel yet, they can wait, I’ve been here long enough. Let’s go check out the new cool stuff we can buy.

ME1Recalibrated adds in this Spectre Armor. Eeehhhhh... no thanks. We’ll stick with Onyx.

I did cheat myself in a bunch of credits and picked up Spectre weapons though. This ain’t no tryhard playthrough.

Well OK, we can finish ONE more quest. Thanks, startlingly loud and triumphant music queue that’s never used again!

Man, this would be SUCH a good pic of the Normandy if... the airlock didn’t go straight through the ship.

We’ve got a ship of our own! And most of our squadmates to put on it!

Sucks for Anderson to be sidelined, though. We already love you, Anderson!

It’s cool to get a bit more of the Saren & Anderson backstory here for real. Still, I enjoyed the book more. Maybe I’ll do a re-read of all the ME books here soon.

Udina... just keep being you, I guess.

WE HAVE A SHIP!!!

Okay, whew... we made it off the Citadel. Now I gotta actually play some more to have more updates to post. Might be a few days. Have to actually go back to work tomorrow. :p

Let’s probably do like one sidequest then go get us an Asari!!

#mass effect #bioware #kaidan alenko #garrus vakarian #urdnot wrex #tali'zorah #annakie's mass effect stuff

9 notes · View notes

incorrectly-quoted-queers · 5 years

Text

Drunk Punch Love: Chapter 7

Emotional Baggage

Udina and Anderson tried to convince Shepard to wear her N7 uniform to the memorial, to be an easily recognizable figurehead. But of all the "figurehead" shit they made her do the past week, this was the one she refused.

This memorial wasn't about her and her suit of armor. It was about those who weren't so lucky at the end of the battle.

This was about Ash.

So, Shepard wore simple black pants and a button up shirt. She didn't want to stand out at all. Not today, not when she was the one who made the call that meant Ash couldn't be here. The main memorial was held in the Presidium- Udina and Anderson wanted people to be inspired by the up and coming reconstruction.

But afterwards, Anderson let her and the crew use his apartment as a more personal funeral for Ashley. She appreciated it, because they couldn't make it back to Earth for the one her parents were putting together. Though, she wasn't sure her parents would want her there. That, or they'd say the words "noble sacrifice" or "hero" too much and Shepard would have to find the nearest bar to burn that out of her brain.

No, they all just needed to remember her as a team. The past few months had changed all of them, and Ash was a huge part of that.

Of all people, Wrex was the first to talk about the Gunnery Chief. "Williams was an asshole when I met her, and maybe she was still an asshole by the time she was gone. But somewhere in between, we took a lot of shots together. It woulda been nice to take a few more with her."

Everyone clapped at the short speech, and even though it was only a handful of people, it was nice. Much like Ash would've preferred, there was an open bar and implied dancing later. Shepard really didn't feel like dancing, but if Ash goaded her, she would've.

But Ash wasn't here, was she?

Yeah, that one hurt like a motherfucker when she swallowed it down, watching Tali pull the rest of her crewmates get pulled into swaying to Ash's favorite songs. The unofficial wingwoman now became the leader, at least for one night.

Anya knew she wasn't being a great participant in the memories, but she had already done a rousing, Councilor edited speech about Ash and the others during the big memorial. Right now, she was spent and all she wanted to do was remember that Ash loved these people and she'd love this party and damn did she wish she was here.

While she didn't mean to leave as early as she did, Anya didn't know if she could keep up the strong hero facade much longer. Saren was gone and it was time to finally experience all the pain and feelings that had been gnawing at her heels. And she had to stop running.

But before she could slip out the door, someone grabbed her arm.

Anya looked up and two bright blue eyes were glaring down at her. "You said I'd get to help."

Staring back at Garrus Vakarian, his voice low and his grip firm, Anya couldn't keep fighting. Nodding, she let him walk out with her. They stopped by Flux to grab a bottle of classic Russian vodka before heading to the empty Normandy to do the whole feelings thing in her room.

She really didn't need the whole crew accidentally seeing her turn into an absolute disaster when they came back. She didn't even really want Garrus to see her like this, but the damned turian insisted. So, might as well prep him for the firing squad.

When they got into her room, Anya stopped dead the second the door closed behind them. She couldn't look at him, but she could already feel the pressure build on her face as she pictured the last time she heard Ash's voice. Whispering, she said, "It should've been me."

"What-"

Anya wrapped her arms around her shoulders, felt the tears run down her cheeks. It only burned worse. She got to cry about this shit, and Ash- "It always should've been me. There were better soldiers on Akuze that deserved to survive more than I did, but my Commander chose me to head back because of my tactical cloaking abilities. I got to run because I could hide. And with Ash, I should've made sure that mission was complete, not left it to a soldier who had so much less baggage to give the world. And the council. Why do I always end up alive when everyone else ends up dead?"

Garrus walked around her, stood in front of her, but she still wouldn't look. He seemed desperate not to push her, so he kept his hands to himself and tried to keep things simple. "Sounds like you're really struggling with that survivor's guilt."

"Of course it's survivor's guilt. Because I keep surviving and people I love keep dying. Hell, I don't even need to love them. It doesn't matter. If I love them, if I push them away, even if I fucking hate them. They're dead. People die in the military, I get it. But I've been on fifty missions where someone didn't come back. Twenty of them, it was more than one. Three of them, I was the only one left alive. I've watched more friends die than friends I have alive, by a painfully wide margin. I don't know if I can keep doing this, but everyone just keeps looking up to me like I'm some hero when really I'm just always the only one left."

This time, he stayed quiet. After a prolonged silence, he stepped forward and pulled her into his arms. They were gentle and warm and more than she deserved. But she pressed her face into his shirt and balled her fists against his chest, holding onto the fabric like it was a lifeline. "Survivor's guilt is hard, but it's starting to feel like I'm the one killing people, Garrus. And I don't know if I can live with that."

"I can't change what hurts, and I can't bring those people back. But I can say that you don't bring people together because you're some angel of death. You bring them together because you're willing to fight the fights everyone else calls a lost cause." Anya finally looked up at him, with all his sharpness and angles and alien features, and only found someone that made her feel safe. The only person that really made her feel safe. Garrus continued, "You got a jaded C-Sec officer who probably would've gotten fired to drop everything and help stop the bad guy that he thought no one would stop. You did something I used to think might be impossible. You're hurt, and you're still a squishy human, but you're also still a hero that people would follow into hell."

Taking a deep breath, Anya added, "Yeah, but sometimes I wish they'd stop following me. And I think she could've been a better hero."

Garrus didn't say anything. Not because he agreed, because the way he tilted his face and eyes when she said that said otherwise. But because she was pretty sure he also knew that she didn't care if he disagreed with her.

Instead, he stepped back and picked up the vodka. "You didn't seem to need this to get out the feelings. Still wanna go for it?"

Anya shook her head, figuring if she could cry without the booze, there was no point risking it. "Nah. I'll save nectar from the motherland for a different occasion." Grabbing the bottle out of his hand, she put it on her shelf. She had no clue when she'd ever take it down, but she didn't really want to know.

"What made this time different?"

Turning back towards him, her eyebrows raised. She didn't know what he meant by that. "Hmm?"

"I mean what made you have to break down."

She didn't mean to laugh, not in such a sarcastic, dark way. But when she let out a snort and stopped, she thought she might as well tell him the truth. "I always break down afterwards. The only difference this time is that you were here, wanting to help put the pieces back together. I always used to do it by myself."

His eyes met hers and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. There was something sad and deep and soulful in the way he was looking at her. And then he started stepping towards her, and she didn't mean for her dumb heart to race or for her face to flush, but they did. Garrus probably just pitied her, just feeling bad about her sad life. But then he stopped mere inches in front of her and asked, "Why did you do it alone for so long?"

"Because until you, I didn't believe anyone when they said they wanted to help me."

If she didn't know better, she'd say things felt very warm in between them, almost electric. And the way he was looking down at her, it felt like he was so close, and she knew she shouldn't even think about leaning closer, but everything about him made her feel like...

Well, it made her feel like she had a home. And she hadn't felt that way in years.

But just as she closed her eyes and accepted the consequences of whatever was happening, her door pinged open and Joker walked himself over to her bed and laid down. Both her and Garrus jolted and just stared at him while he did it, but he seemed too drunk to give a damn.

The confused turian gestured to their pilot and asked, "Do I need to know something about you two?"

Anya was ready to throw Joker out the fucking airlock. "Yes. I mean, no. Nothing like you think." She tried to run a hand through her hair, but her damn bun was in the way. Right. She had put it up to be formal at the memorial. Pulling out the ties and pins, she then got the proper stress relief. Anya explained, "When at the Academy, Joker's condition meant he couldn't stay in the dorms like everyone else just in case he had a bone break. My mother taught when he went there, so he stayed with us. He's like my younger cousin, and he has a bad habit of hijacking my room whenever he gets drunk so that I can help make sure he didn't break himself. Or be there to help if he did."

Garrus tried to stay straight-faced, but even he wound up laughing. "So this has happened before?"

"Unfortunately. Even on this ship. I'm kinda surprised I haven't had to explain it until now."

They both just stared at the passed out Joker until Garrus sighed, seemed to accept the state of things, and sat down on her couch. On the left side, like he did every movie night. Anya tried to be casual sitting next to him, but her heart palpitations were still struggling to calm down. He had this perplexed look on his face. "So your mom was a teacher? I thought she was Navy."

"Not by choice. I was trying to rebel by not joining the Alliance. She was making a point to keep me close to it, even taking in a very enthusiastic flight student, to try to convince me otherwise. When she finally got her way after a few months, she left Joker and I the apartment and went back to being a Captain. She's a soldier, through and through."

"So you weren't kidding when you said she pushed you to be like her. Like my father pushed me."

"Absolutely not. And I've become everything she could ever dream, despite my attempts to just be a good person and not get too much attention."

"Sounds like one hell of a childhood. Is it a Russian thing? You talk about that Earth region you're from a lot and it seems... very intense."

"Not quite, she just happens to be a terrible stereotype of a super intense Russian women. But she's not all vodka and muscles and "for the motherland". She fell in love with an American, after all. John Shepard. Also an Alliance pilot, before he died. I think it's why she took such an unnatural liking to Joker."

"My father did that with my childhood friend, Panek. Always brought him with us on field trips to his office or military bases. Said he reminded him of his brother, a reckless young soldier who got himself killed during the Skyllian Blitz."

"And what happened to Panek?"

"Let's just say he was probably a bit too much like my uncle." Garrus leaned into the couch and, despite the loss that tinged his face, he almost seemed nostalgic talking about it all. Anya liked to hear him talk. "But my family isn't all difficult military men. I have Solana, my sister. I've mentioned her before. She's the responsible one, got into politics and interplanetary relations more than military, but she is also the pestering kind. Speaking of, I'll have to message her after this. Haven't done that this week and if I don't, she;ll give me hell."

When he laughed, it was filled with familial love and admiration and years of memories. Anya almost wished she had more of a traditional family. Before the Citadel, she couldn't remember the last time she heard from her mom. Was it when she got Spectre? Was there any time in between? And she definitely couldn't remember the last time they met face to face. But with all her musings, Garrus was giving her this serious look and said, "I already know Joker and you clearly don't talk like... Well, I see you're a different kind of close. But does him being around help?"

"Yeah. Even though I don't really know how to talk serious with him, I do know he'd do anything for me. Sure he might break his ribs in the process, but that's part of the charm."

"What was it like, having Joker as a roommate?"

"Absolutely insane. Picture how sarcastic he is now, but buried in an exhausting zeal for flying Alliance ships. I would wake up at 4 am, at least once a week, to him training or studying, even when he was piss drunk like tonight. My favorite time was when, totally plastered, Joker woke up my mother to try to give him access to the flying sims because he "needed to be prepared in any scenario". She let him, but then she also started making him do oddball scenarios for "just in case". And trust me, nothing is as terrifying and funny like Joker flying a ship and getting perfect marks while completely naked."

Even though Garrus didn't have a drink, he looked about ready to spit one out. His eyes darted back and forth from the passed out drunkard on her bed to Anya. "He did that?"

"Yeah. Any dare mom threw at him, he did every single one. He and my mom were always just trying to one up each other, but neither of them would ever fucking budge. I don't think I ever laughed so much in my life, seeing them prank and push each other to the edge. But he did convince me to join the Alliance, so what do I know, he's clearly more than just a good laugh."

"What did convince you? I don't think I ever knew you didn't want to be a soldier."

Anya shrugged, knowing this was weird waters of her past. "I don't exactly advertise it, not when I ended up the first human Spectre. Don't think people would love knowing it wasn't my childhood dream. I just wanted something different. I didn't know what, but I think I just didn't want to be my mom. I think seeing someone like Joker still excel in the Alliance made me think that maybe there was a place for me. I mean, hell, guy wanted to pilot while drunk and they still loved him."

Garrus pressed his talon to his temple and chuckled under his breath. He could barely believe it, she could tell, but she didn't blame him. Sometimes she could barely believe her academy days with Joker, either. But then his bright blue eyes flicked up and her whole body was frozen still under his gaze. "It's nice to hear you have history. And not just military history." Then his arm extended towards her and she knew she was holding her breath, which she shouldn't, but he just poked the soft flesh of her wrist. "I told you that you were just a squishy human."

"Oh, and you aren't squishy? You practically begged to help me talk out my feelings."

"You're definitely squishier."

Anya was more than ready to play the verbal sparring game with him; honestly, it was nice. She hadn't done much... fun in awhile. With a smirk and proper snark, Anya countered, "I don't know. When you get uppity about temperatures..."

"That's a biological thing. What about you and that childhood cat you talk about? You get all wistful."

"Crackers was a very special boy, but at least he was a living being. I've definitely caught you sleeping with your sniper rifle, and you got pretty upset when it got a scratch a month ago."

Garrus cut his eyes, and looked ready to start throwing some real shots at her. Anya leaned into her knees and was ready. This fight was on. "You cried last movie night."

Okay, she didn't expect that one, and got aftershock emotion thinking of Saving Private Ryan. But she kept it together and gave a weak ass rebuttal. "No I did not!"

"So that tear I saw was what? Space rain?"

Anya was grasping for straws. "It was a very dramatic, emotional final scene. You probably were so caught up in it that you imagined me crying, because that would be an acceptable response. If I did cry, which I didn't."

"Now you're just lying to me."

"It's pretty squishy of you to be getting so bothered by if I cried during a movie or not."

Garrus glared at her, looking like he wasn't sure if he wanted to continue. Anya was pretty sure she just gave the most annoying, pre-teen answer she ever could. But was it annoying enough to get him to back off before she managed to get even more annoying? Finally, Garrus said, "You're impossible."

Anya didn't mean to smile so wide at him, which only seemed to annoy him more.

After all that, she tried to soothe his ego a little and nudged his shoulder with hers. "Only because every dumb thing I do with you turns me into a shameless goofball. I still can't believe I danced with you."

The genuine smile on his face was not what she expected. "Yeah. That was nicer than I expected."

It was a little too nice. She felt her insides warming up, and her heart pumping a little fast, thinking of how close they were, and even how close they were a few minutes ago, before Joker came in. Maybe they were about to-

Nope, Anya had to diffuse that train of thought and fast. She jeered, "Well, you thought it was a sex ritual, so-"

"Will you ever let that go?" Garrus crossed his arms. Good. Back to best friend banter, as things should be.

"Never."

There was a long pause after that. They sat right next to each other and the air got still again, like there was something charging up. It started to make Anya's skin itch. But then Garrus leaned back into the couch and asked her, like it was simple, "So, how are you feeling?"

She stared into her hands and tried honesty. "Still a little raw. It's going to take awhile for it not to hurt so much. But it's better. You helped make it better."

"I'm happy I could."

That's when she looked up at him, trying to be her white knight of emotional trauma. Sure, she was a fucking mess, but he had scars, too. And she wasn't just going to let him lean back there and bottle anything up, either. She put her hand on his knee and tried to show him how serious she was. "Are you doing okay? Sure, I'm the Commander, but Ash was your teammate, too. And I did make some tough calls."

He almost looked like he was about to crack a joke, but then he sighed and leaned forward, closer to her. Garrus said, "As fine as one can be before a war. I wasn't close to Ash, because she was kinda squeamish about the whole turian thing, but she was getting better at the end. It would've been nice to get to know her. It does make me feel like I need to do more to help the galaxy, now that Saren's gone. I need to be more than just a rogue C-Sec officer." With them both leaning on their knees, he turned his face and they locked eyes. He looked so vulnerable and honest, things she admired so much in him. At least, because that's how he was with her. "Thanks for asking, Shepard."

So the least she could do was keep herself honest for him, too, when it came to the important stuff. Anya smiled at him and said, "If you're willing to carry my emotional baggage, I can be here for yours."

She didn't mean to do this, but again they were close, and again she remembered that maybe he could be something more than a friend. And they weren't leaning in or anything, but looking at his face in her room, just being there for each other? It just meant so much. She didn't want having him by her side to ever end, friendship or not.

But just as she was about to say something dumb and sentimental, Joker sat up and walked over to her bathroom and started puking. The mood, whatever it was, was definitely killed. With a grimace, they both stood up and Anya said, "I should probably take care of that."

"And I'd probably just get in the way. Call it a night?"

"Calling it. But it was a good one." Then they heard another gag and stream of vomit into her toilet. Patting Garrus' shoulder, Anya couldn't say out loud how much she didn't want him to leave. If she didn't know any better, he was looking at her a little lingering, too. But maybe he was just concerned about how'd she do, post funeral and taking care of Joker. So she reassured him, "I can take care of us and I'll be okay. It's practically muscle memory at this point."

He laughed while he walked out of her door. "Alright. Goodnight, Shepard."

"Goodnight, Garrus."

From the bathroom, Joker yelled, "Night, Garrus!"

"Night, Joker." In the doorway, they looked at each other, and Anya almost wanted to say it. Just ask him to come back in, give him a datapad game to play, they could spend more time together once Joker would stop puking. Anything. She just wanted him to stay. But instead, Garrus gave her a flimsy salute and said, "See you tomorrow."

And she let the door shut behind him.

Anya walked back into her bathroom and took Joker's hat off so it wouldn't fall into any of his alcohol overdose. While it was nowhere near poisoning, Joker clearly drank more than he should. She sat down next to him and waited on standby for any emergencies. In a moment of clarity, he turned his face to look at her, all groggy. "You and Garrus a thing?" Before she could set him straight, he started laughing and shook his own head. "What would you guys do with all those ass sticks? That's too many sticks, Anya. Also you bruise easy and he's a walking hawk dinosaur. Nah, that'd be silly."

Right. It would be silly.

Interspecies awkwardness, or something.

That didn't stop her from thinking about how every time she was with him, things felt right.

She grabbed a water bottle from under the sink (preparation for this eventuality) and handed it to him. "Drink up. We don't need our pilot hungover."

"I could do it."

"I know you could. But I still prefer you sober."

"Fair enough."

And so she helped her pilot get his shit together, because it was the least she could do when she was still struggling to figure out hers.

///

Just a heads up, I’m only posting every day to catch up to where I’m currently at in the AO3 version of this story (which went through an intermission and is 6 chapters into ME 2 already)

Hyped that you guys seem to enjoy!

Thanks so much for reading, and double thanks to my lovely patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

If you'd like to support the story, please go check out my bio for more info :) (Hint: patreon.com/gracejordan)

Also I tweet funny things sometimes: @Steph_Marceau

#Shakarian #Drunk Punch Love #femshep x garrus #garrus vakarian #Anya Shepard #Ashley Williams funeral #Joker #Joker Shepard friendship #hurt #comfort #stay #best friends

4 notes · View notes