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#because i also can't sleep because i'm stressing out
not-pollux · 3 days
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𝕭𝖆𝖉 𝕱𝖚𝖙𝖚𝖗𝖊 ℌ𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘 ⋆
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╭ ・── ・ ꒰ ☆ ꒱ ・ ── ・ ִ ۫ ּ ֗ ִ ִ ֗ ִ ۫ ˑ ᳝ ࣪  ⊹
  ˚   ₊˚ˑ  💙💜❤️🧡 ‧ ₊ Future ROTTMNT ༄
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Warnings: Unedited, lowkey kinda long, discussions of bad habits
Word count: 1772
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Leo 
Stressed 24/7
Constantly working + horrible at time management = chronically overworked
Like he's so bad at taking breaks 💀
If he does manage to take a break aside from sleeping or eating he's thinking about all the work he has to do
If I'm being honest, he thinks about work while eating and probably dreams of work too
Speaking of sleeping, he doesn’t
Stress induced insomnia wont let him. He would really like to sleep, if he could. It’s not that he doesn’t want to. He just can't.
He eats pretty well though. Sometimes skips meals when he's super busy, but he's otherwise pretty good. He understands that a well fed body is an efficient body!
Definitely has a poorly kept personal quarters
He has pretty good personal hygiene, though.
He takes showers regularly and brushes his teeth, he has an image to uphold and he enjoys taking care of himself
He's more unsanitary in his own personal space. He doesn't change his bedsheets often, hasn't swept the floor in forever, lots of unwashed clothes, etc
Because he’s chronically exhausted, these super simple tasks tend to be really hard for him. If they aren’t essential to his image and performance as resistance leader, he won't do it.
In my opinion most of Leo's stress comes from the fact that he is overly concerned about how people perceive him and his leadership skills. 
He doesn’t want to take breaks because he doesn’t want to be judged for it. He thinks people will go “Oh my god, how can the leader be taking a break when there is so much stuff to do?”
He doesn’t ask for help, or ever show any signs of weakness because he feels the need to be everyone’s personal Hamato beacon of hope. 
Everyone is counting on him. He only lets himself unravel in his locked room where no one is ever allowed to go. Not even his brothers.
On that note, would rather move a whole mountain on his own than admit he needs assistance.
He will actually tell people to stop if they try to help him out. He’ll guilt trip people by saying that they made him feel like he wasn’t doing his work good enough, or he isn’t enough for the resistance. 
He fully believes that he isn't good enough when people try to help him.
People love to bother him. With every single minor inconvenience. And he is expected to deal with them all. 
He honestly shifts from his very outgoing personality to a lot more closed off as he gets older.
He’s definitely not rude or anything, he’s just trying to ensure his interactions with people do not go on longer than they need to.
Its for his own sanity.
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Donnie
Also chronically overworked
I agree that Donnie would lock himself in his lab and work excessively.
He tends to believe his worth is only determined by what he can offer intellectually, and therefore pours his life and soul into his projects
His tech is also more or less what is keeping everyone alive. Their base is secured with Donnie’s tech and fortified with Donnie’s tech and armed with Donnie’s tech
Also really bad at taking breaks. 
They are so twins.
I see the headcanon that he literally survives on only coffee everywhere, but I don't think that's super realistic for an apocalypse. 
Non essentials are not easily accessible.
I also think he sleeps pretty well because he understands how quickly the brain deteriorates when he doesn’t sleep. 
He knows how inefficient it is, and he hates inefficiency.
Doesn’t usually eat more than one meal a day. 
Sometimes he'll skip eating for a full day if he's really busy.
He could possibly be malnourished. It's most likely very common in the apocalypse and he is a giant mutant turtle who needs more food.
And he probably only consumes quick and easy food that gives him the bare minimum of nutrients to function. Nutrition is important, but not as important as sleep
I'm so sorry Donnie lovers but I lowkey think he doesn’t have super great personal hygiene
We know he's a bit of a germaphobe so I don’t think it would be too bad, just skipping showers and brushing his teeth occasionally when he’s super absorbed in how work especially because it doesn’t affect his performance at all
We know he's a neat freak (and control freak) so I believe his personal space would be really clean.
It makes him feel like he’s not loosing his mind
Exact opposite of Leo.
Lowkey a hot take, but I think Donnie has the best mental health out of the four. 
Not to say that it’s good. He is stressed and overworked, for sure. They all are.
But I do think he’d have a semi private lab, and people wouldn’t be constantly harassing him
I like to headcanon that he has a little mail system for when people need repairs done around the base
You put this little slip of paper into his little mailbox and that way he has a written report of everything he needs to get done AND he didn’t have to interact with anyone.
Win win!
Being a control freak, he is controlling everything he is physically able to, and as of right now, it’s helping him stay somewhat sane.
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Raph
I'm so excited to explore how and why Raph would lean into the ‘anger issues' stereotype that holds most iterations of Raph in a choke hold.
Being released from his duties of leader, I think Raph feels less inclined to keep himself put together
He copes with stress through punching shit. We know this.
I believe as a response to stress, Raph would yell more frequently (out of fear) and eventually that would translate to physical violence.
We see this at the beginning of the movie with Leo.
I believe this physical violence is directed not towards allies but more to enemies. He becomes a formidable warrior due to his anger. I'm talking crazy strong and insanely vicious. 
Although because of his size and violent tendencies most mutants and people in their base are afraid he'll explode and use that violence on one of them one day.
They treat him like he's a bomb, and if they rub him the wrong way he'll blow up in their faces
This irritates Raph further. 
We love circular conflicts!
I believe he sleeps well. Actually, I think he sleeps a bit too much.
He feels isolated because of the way people talk to him and refer to him. To cope with that he sleeps 12-18 hours a day. He tries to spend as much time away from people as possible.
He pretends he does it to slow his metabolism so he doesn't have to eat as many rations, being the biggest guy in the resistance.
I think he would be pretty clean himself, but his room wouldn't be.
I love portraying people's personal spaces/rooms as a reflection of their minds.
Not necessarily messy, just extremely disorganized.
He doesn’t know what to do with himself, he feels like his strength is his only use, and people don’t see him as strong and powerful, they’re just scared
And that reflects in how he doesn’t really know what to do with the stuff in his room. Things that he holds dear to him or felt like they represented everything he believed pre apocalypse don’t really have a distinct home in his room anymore
They’re just… laying on the floor somewhere.
This might be a bit of a reach but I think he meditates to deal with this too. Specifically with Mikey when they’re both not busy.
He eats less than he should be because of the way they hand out rations, but for the circumstances he eats pretty well.
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Mikey
Mikey is swamped with a LOT more responsibility than he is used to very very quickly.
He becomes “the mystic guy”. He’s in charge of most (if not all) of the mystic mojo that goes on in the resistance.
I think Draxum and him created some sort of mystic force field that blocks the Krangs powers to hide their base
If you remember that scene where the Krang finds the key by going into Raph’s head and finding their base?
Yeah the force field basically prevents the Krang from being able to do that.
He has to replenish the force field every once in a while, which drains him a lot, and even more so if (when) Draxum dies and they can’t split the burden 50/50
So this boy is OVER. WORKED.
One of the few future headcanons I really like is the fact that Mikey looks significantly older is a result of mystic overuse
It makes a lot of sense in my opinion
In my opinion his body is deteriorating and aging a lot faster because he doesn’t have access to adequate amounts of sleep, hydration, or nutrition, and on top of that he’s basically putting his body through the equivalent of running a marathon every single day through his mystic powers
I think in his early days of training he actually overate a little
He was trusted in the rations kitchens, so he’d take a little extra and he would steal rations from Donnie and sometimes Leo and Raph when they didn’t eat
In his head it wasn’t bad if it was to a good cause, refueling his super tired and achy body
He learned better though, he doesn’t do that anymore. I do think he is the best at eating all three meals every single day, though.
I also think he sleeps really well, against his will. He’s always so physically tired, so he always goes to bed early so he’s well rested.
I think he’s also pretty hygienic all around, just a little goodie two shoes
Due to his mystic powers, I headcanon him with chronic pain in his arms, along with terrible migraines.
Donnie making compression sleeves for Mikey is like, my favourite headcanon ever
I don’t think the damage would be similar to Good Future (too much power all at once), but instead normal amounts of power used way too many times way too close together.
TLDR; Overworked muscles, basically.
I think Mikey is the favourite turtle for people to ask for guidance (Leo is a very close second), so he also has to deal with a lot of people asking him questions all the time. He gets swarmed whenever he has a break
Meditates with Raph for his migraines.
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AN: I'm just took each turtle's worst traits and amplified them for future headcanon purposes :3
I might do a good future headcanons version of this or a April, Splinter, Draxum, Cassandra, Casey Jr mini drabble next. Not completely sure yet.
I hope you enjoyed reading this! This was super duper fun to write!
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peacerisendove · 2 years
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It's 5 am and I can't sleep
but i also can't be annoyed by this because I took a 4hr "nap" at 8pm. This is on me.
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non-un-topo · 2 years
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All it takes is a wee little nightmare to make you too scared to step foot outside for fear of Bad Things happening, like it’s an omen lol
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facesblind · 4 months
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idk what is happening honestly so tired so eepy let boys run the errands with teddybeardog and i have some regrets ( tm )
#apparently she almost bit a child (but it was because said child carried bread or a sandwich so i bet she wanted. said sandwich)#(her favorite snack of all time is bread)#and also had her nails clipped and it was. very unpleasant#she had lots of stress today due to storms and her anxiety pills didn't do a great job :/#then a different person had to clip her nails#not usual doctors#she had to have a muzzle she was tryna bite :<<#maybe because it was hurty because there's this thing inside pet nails#called “proper claw” or something#and she has it and it's very long and it has nerves and all#she has it long due to being neglected in the past by previous owners so it grew and grew inside the nail that can be clipped#so we can't clip the nails short - short so we don't damage the nerves#apparently the doctor did clip a bit too short#and the boys tried to say that they can't be clipped this short but the lady was ukrainian and didn't speak polish#and teddybeardog bled a little#though she's a big girl and it didn't hurt her much but she was STRESSED#she also tripped on stairs and hit her head :(((#she only calmed down when she got to lay down and sleep with me#and now she's better#i just think i would've handled it all better#if i had not slept 2h yesterday and then spent 4 hours running other errands that made me pass out on bed unable to get up#i let teddybeardog have forbidden snackos for being so brave today#(raisins in chocolate)#dont come @ me i know what i'm doing#for a dog this big the amount of chocolate she was given does nothing#she will also have some chicken and cheese off my pizza#but then again they know teddybeardog and whats good for her i just know i am her comfort person despite how she looks at my boys#like theyre bread#and at me#like im just some guy TM
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dekujin · 1 year
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Now in my thirties officially. Feels weird but good. Most of my twenties was plagued with really bad mental health up until 27 so I'm looking forward to enjoying life and all that comes next in this upcoming decade.
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mirillel · 11 months
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You guys i am so unwell.
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sealovinq · 5 months
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i need friends /gen (slight rant in tags)
#xelle.txt#i noticed i don't really have a permanent circle of friends. at least irl#i have one online but they're also busy and i just can't dedicate my time to one friend group#i don't know - it's just the people i thought who were nice turned out to be the exact opposite#and when i found out about that i just kinda. lost interest in making any more friends#my partner is the only person i interact with on a daily basis. the irl friend group i was referring to earlier i'm not exactly close with-#-them either#i feel like if i didn't only give my time in nurturing my romantic relationship i would have done the same for my platonics too#that's still a problem of mine. my time management between love life and friends. heck i even got myself into an unsolvable problem because-#-of my inability to stay consistent#also my brain is kinda fried from reading 20+ pages so pardon any grammatical errors but yeah anyway#honestly i've been craving for interaction here. but i know i won't be active and it'd just be pointless#to gain more friends or followers. i don't exactly make content as consistently as i did before#the other day i had to vent to an ai (would you believe me if it was cha.tgpt) about my troubles because i had no one else to talk to lol#there's just so much going on irl 😭 ya girl's almost starting college and they're throwing so much tasks at us!!#and i feel very very stressed about it because they're usually done in groups i am ALWAYS the assigned leader#which gets exhausting especially when there are lazy members present#anyway#hopefully this weekend i get some time to cool off. but next week i'm back to grinding and working#lol i don't even think i'm in the top ranks anymore. i'm so burnt out.#this is what being an academic achiever gives you oops ZZHSIAHAHAJAHHS#imma sleep now 😭#idk you can just interact with me or recommend someone you know who self ships in the same medias i do#goodnight everypony 🫶#vent tw#rant tw
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thethingything · 6 months
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had to lay down. woke up at nearly 7am. got overwhelmed by our sleep schedule once again being fucked because yesterday we actually went to bed at roughly the right time and thought "oh this is great we've fixed it". decided that we're just gonna deal with it and it'll be fine. and then our brain decided that no actually we're gonna have a combination of emotions that's maybe gonna give me another breakdown if I can't figure out how to deal with them but I have no fucking clue what to do with them
#personal#thoughts#🍬 post#vent post#I fucking hate this. we barely did anything yesterday because we were too fatigued and then slept at a weird time#and we're still too fatigued to do much and we need to do the stuff we'd normally do before bed#and by the time we've done that we'll probably need to nap because we will feel so much worse if we don't#and I don't want to have to try and fit my whole day around trying to fix my sleep schedule but once again what else do I fucking do#and the whole last month has been like this over and over and it's because we got covid in February and have been way more fatigued#so we have to keep laying down and when we do that we just pass the fuck out#also waking up at like 7am (shortly before what should be our bedtime) leads to us feeling really sick#the way we used to feel when we had to get up early for college. like our body can't handle it and makes us feel like shit#and to top it all off the emotional shit I'm dealing with has nothing to do with this and it just another overwhelming thing on top of it#dysphoria and homesickness my fucking beloathed#I just want to be awake at the right time and have a nice stress free day and feel relaxed for once#like we keep trying to take time to relax and set aside time to do something fun and relieve some stress#and we still end up just as stressed and when we decided to spend a whole day just trying to relax we just ended up even more anxious#I'm so fucking tired. just let me sleep at the right time. just let me fucking relax for once in my life
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crabussy · 1 year
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RRARAAAAAAAAAUUAUUAAGHHHHH
#ITS 12AM AND I HAVE BIG EXAMS TOMORROW#and people are taking my lighthearted post far too seriously and claiming some pretty awful things about my intentions#???????? I'm just some 17 year old who thought housetrucks were interesting#and recognised that they're likely the only kind of accommodation I'd be able to afford once I'm an adult#like YEAH YOUR POINTS ABOUT ROMANI APPROPRIATION ARE VALID and I am willing to listen. I know its frustrating#but also I've looked into the history of housetrucks within nz and the people who first built them?#they just built them out of necessity. not to mimic or romanticise romani suffering. I can't find any mention of romani inspiration#I SPECIFICALLY included photos of NZ HOUSETRUCKS ONLY and not romani wagons or similar because#a lot of new zealanders live poorly and have to resort to that lifestyle. SOME new zealanders live in housetrucks just because they can#but I guarantee you it is a very small amount because they're extremely inefficient and dangerous to live in#the only reason I was posting about them with such excitement is because I'm ecstatic about maybe being able to afford a home before I'm 40#ranting about this in the tags and not in a reblog because goddd dude I don't want to look like some racist prick or something#to the person who reblogged the housetruck post with the stuff I'm talking about#if you're looking through my blog for whatever reason#I understand what you're saying but man that wasn't my intention at all#I'm a burnt out mentally ill IB student who made that post to cope with escapism#I didn't make it to erase romani lives or your culture I just made it because I need a hope for a liveable future#houses in new zealand usually cost over a million dollars I literally just want to look forward to living somewhere#warning bells in my mind right now please please don't twist my words it's 12am and I'm stressed out of my mind#god I feel awful I need to sleep#sick of being on the internet I am so so careful to be as respectful and careful as I can about topics#only to be accused of using gentrifying dogwhistles to appropriate a marginalised group of people ?????#for sharing photos of new zealand specific housetrucks and calling them 'kiwi culture'#I did not mean 'kiwi culture' as in 'invented by and owned by new zealanders'#I meant it in the same way that fish and chips are 'kiwi culture'. obviously we didn't invent either of those things. they just happen to b#a regular part of aotearoa life. RARHRHGHHH#fuck man I'm too worked up over this I never meant to be shitty or appropriate anything I just like housetrucks#I'm going to be a wreck tomorrow I'm too anxious to sleep#so sorry to anyone who bothered to read all of this#just needed. somewhere to put it
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Guess who almost fainted at a party tonight and spent the rest of it sitting on the floor with bowls of snacks
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girlscience · 10 months
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making funny haha jokes to myself like "oh i'm doing so fine" *extreme side eye from the dishes in my sink*..... only to finally do my dishes tonight and discover all my tupperware have become their own microbiomes. fuck
#i am pretty sure i am riding that depression wave hard right now#i am just so stressed all the time#and i feel like i could fix some of that stress if i checked a few very specific things off my to do list#here's the thing tho. i am realizing i might need outside help to get those things done#and that is uncomfortable for two reasons#one being that means i will have to ask someone to help me do these things and be my external motivator#and put up with me being cranky the whole time because i will be deeply embarrassed about it and will end up taking it out on them#and then two being that. these things are for grad school. and if i can't even get the fucking applications done on my own#how the fuck do i think i'm going to be able to get through two years by myself??#also i am so sleepy and my sleep schedule has been fucked for like two weeks now and that's not helping#and i need to do things to my car and make several doctors appointments and work stuff and apartment stuff#and everything happening in the world and stuff happening with my friends and my family#and i just. how i am supposed to live with this much in my brain all the time#and i'm reading fanfic and comparing myself to the characters and coming up miserably short#and i hate the way i look all the time and i could do something intelligent like.#stop eating gummy worms and meat sticks for every meal and eat veggies and go to the gym and learn to love myself...#or i could decide my straight hair is the root of all my problems and get a perm#you know. like a normal person does#it's OK!! I'm Fine!!! aaaaaaaaaa
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non-un-topo · 1 year
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Considering taking a week off to try and get some energy back
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tardis--dreams · 1 year
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God i could have such a chill evening if it wasn't for that doctor's appointment tomorrow morning looming over me
#this wouldn't be so stressful if i didn't have to take a train to get there#the ride is only 4 minutes but i have to walk to the dr's office for 1.8 km which is about 24 minutes#but i haven't really been to this town before and don't know the way so i have to use maps to get there#and the appointment is at 8:30am and the train i would Like to take is scheduled for 7:54 am which would be fine#if the fucking bahn worked and was punctual for once but there's no punctual trains in this godforsaken country#so my anxiety tells me that this train will arrive 8:15 am at the earliest instead of at 7:58am#so i would be late and i can't be late i would just kill myself#but if i want to play it safe i have to take the train 30 minutes earlier which would mean I'd have one hour#to walk there and I'm Really not in the mood of just spending 30 minutes waiting outside like a weirdo because i have too much time left#so my options are either take the risk and be relatively punctual rather than having 35 minutes left to spare#or just waste an hour of my life because I'm too afraid to potentially be late#also the fact i have to wait for a train back home again and cannot plan this at all because idk how long I'll be in the office#is so annoying#and also I've never been to this doctor and i don't know how the whole thing will go and how the rooms and everything look like#and it's stressing me out#also that i have to plan at least 2 hours for an appointment that probably won't take longer than 5 minutes#because of the fucking trains#anyway#i should go to sleep now#40 hours without sleep and not more than 4 hours on average the days before have left me broken lmao#i gotta practice my lines though. i cannot go in without a rehearsed script. gotta be careful around doctors and choose your words wisely#otherwise they won't take you seriously or think you're overdramatic and dismiss any concern as 'anxiety'#yeah no i don't trust them- i hate relying on them- let me be free ahhh#void screams
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Watched all of Rubius’ r/place videos while pounding a bottle of wine I’ve been trying to get rid of for ages and MAN. MANNNN. I really love Rubius. r/place was such an incredible experience, and watching his videos reminded me of just how hype and fun the r/place phenomenon was
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neverendingford · 1 year
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.
#tag talk#vent#I don't wanna do the whole “I'm so good at psychology cause I've fixed myself. I should go into counseling” thing that overly empathetic#empathetic people do. but like. nothing like deconstructing a tense social conflict to make you feel good#the smol autistic minecraft enby who adopted me had a moment and I helped break down the situation and resolve shit with them. it was cool#but also I immediately went out to the living room and napped for three hours. thinning that hard was exhausting.#do you ever do the depression nap thing? when I'm doing well I never sleep during the day. but when I'm sad I take naps a lot#because I don't want to be awake and I sleep poorly at I night and am just generally lethargic so I nap on the floor or couch a lot#ugh knowing the stress will go away doesn't help the fact that it's super awful right now.#it's times like this that I wish I'd really committed to it in Feb. like. in two weeks I'll be better and joy de vivre and all that.#but right now? ugh. big fuckin ugh#the minecraft emotional labor thing is just a natural responsibility of being a 25 year old playing online video games with 15 year olds.#if I see a situation blowing up I can't hear sit by and watch someone destroy their friendships on the server. I have to help#but also bro I am struggling to help myself. maybe I say I'm packing up my pc early so that I have a good excuse to stay off the server#I literally did the thing again where I make new friends. make everyone love me. and then get burnt out at the speed of light and disappear#making friends is so easy. leaving friends is so easy. nothing is forever and we all die someday. blah blah blah you know it already#meaningless meaningless. all is meaningless. maybe king Solomon was just fuckin depressed when he wrote that. sure sounds like it to me.#I just can't do anything when I'm like this. we're subsistence living now bois.#I wonder if part of my neurological damage is from the lead I used to eat in high school.#the windex shots can't have been good for me. but I don't think that stays in your body the same way#though it did fuck up my urinary tract for a few months. that was wild.#anyway. I wonder how much of my chronic periodic funk is just effects from bad choices and how much is normal natural inevitable.#everything is an ocean. nothing is a lake. the waves are always thirty feet high and the troughs scrape you on the bottom of the reef#nothing is midline except when you're rushing through to one extreme or another.#you're either overstimulated or absent from your body entirely#both of which cause wild and oft unbearable dissociation.#everything gets better and everything gets worse. I'm only like this when I'm stressed. but that's my secret cap (avengers reference)#anyway. I'll survive. I'll make it. I'll live because I need to become even more gay to make my family mad.#I need to keep living so my dad realizes just how much he's lost touch.#so my mom cries about how she should have done something differently so I wouldn't grow up gay. because that makes so much sense right?
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sweetest-devotion · 2 years
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