#because it shows you paid attention enough to know thats something i like

[youarealwaysenough]

I respect all of the "this rock reminded me of you" gifters, but for me gift giving is about being known. Of your loved ones paying enough attention to know even one thing you want or need.

I'd trade all the half-hearted my parents got me as a kid for a cheap plastic giraffe on a keychain. Hell I'd probably still have it on my keys to this day.

[apprenticestanheight]

More - Adam Stanheight x gn! reader

Alllllllll right!! It is my birthday and that means that I am officially one year older yay!! I'm not really big on celebrating my own birthday and instead of doing some big like, event type thing I wanted to just write a couple thousand words a week or two in advance so that I didn't have to worry about editing on the day of, and that's what this is!

This is a college-adjacent AU (Adam is canonically a hs dropout but I've been thinking about maybe working my way to a creative writing PhD lately and projected so thats where the college part comes in) bc I headcanon that Adam grew his hair out in his early twenties and also: recovery era leigh whannell my dearly beloved.

Fic type- this is fluff that leads into smut!!

Warnings - this fic is meant for audiences of 18+. Minors, do not interact. Other than that, religion is referenced once (in the context of the reader saying adams name like it's a prayer lol), the word cunt is used a few times, and the reader is gn for all intents and purposes but I wrote the fic with AFAB anatomy in mind as that is the anatomy I know best. Petplay is also kind of present here (the puppy nickname has wormed its way into several of my fics bc I try thinking of gn petnames and my mind goes completely blank oops)

As it turned out, it was easier than one expected to get someone who wasn't an attendee into your college library. You'd snuck Adam into it without a care in the world, yearning for someone to lean against when you hit a breaking point in your studying while your closest friends were two-thirds of the way into breaking points of their own.

Adam was happy to leave the crappy apartment he lived in, though. He worked forty-hour weeks but his boss had mentioned that there was unclaimed PTO so Adam took the four days he was offered from the 186 days that had been accrued and relished in the fact that he was being paid not to work for approximately a day and a half before he yearned for fresh air.

When you'd asked him to come with you to finish up the last of the work you needed to do to finish up your thesis on your 22nd birthday, Adam had jumped at the opportunity and agreed to meet you near the charity shop that was a fifteen minute walk from his apartment and a fifteen minute drive out from your campus.

Of course, in his delight he'd ended up showing twenty minutes before the time you'd agreed, so he ducked into the aforementioned charity shop and looked around to occupy the time he had before you'd meet up with him.

He found a camera for fifteen bucks, three rolls of film and a camera bag included in that deal and couldn't resist. Scott gave him $200 a few times a month for printing up a hundred copies of his bands posters to hand out, and his paycheck had run in time for the rent and groceries to eat it completely, so the two hundred was something like lifesaver.

He'd gotten $400 that January because Scott and his band were doing a lot of gigs, which came as a bit of a surprise--Adam had heard Scotts band play before. Scott was lucky most people didn't pay much attention to bar music.

That $400 was originally going to take purpose at least partially as gas money because there were some distances that it just wasn't worth walking, maybe the purchase of a pack of cigarettes from the corner store that always had deals on them--$3 for two packs was the typical deal going on, and something Adam had used to his advantage more than once in the year since he'd become legally eligible to smoke and drink--and not much else, but the camera seemed like a decent enough purchase. If he got good enough, maybe he could display the photos he took somewhere or sell them as prints to make up for the money he lost to rent and a few groceries during his first paycheck of the month, keep him from going hungry until the second paycheck of the month came in.

He dips out of the charity shop and grins when he spots you, lets you drive him and steals the rest of your energy drink when you talk about the fact that you're not sure why you thought you'd like the peach flavor, and that gets you where you are--sitting in the darkest corner of your college library, face pressed against Adams shoulder as he laughs meekly.

"You can do this," he says. "You have another, what? Three pages left and then it's done. Then you can go back to whatever else your creative writing PhD entails and worry about your dissertation next year, yeah?"

"That doesn't work," advises a close friend of yours, Aurelie. She's been studying for a masters in biology and has known you since 1993, when you were both eighteen and freshly new to the college campus. "I've tried it numerous times, Stanheight, and it doesn't."

"I should've gotten my bachelors and masters before I jumped into this," you mutter, words muffled by the sleeve of Adams baggy black sweater. "But of course the only PhD option within two hours of work was an accelerated course. Ugh."

Adam laughs pitifully, pulls your face away from his shoulder to kiss your forehead before he gets up and you give him your card to get you, himself, Aurelie and her girlfriend Samantha a coffee.

When he returns, Samantha is pulling a strand of bright green hair behind her ear and watching you struggle, eyes narrowing at the book you're trying to focus on reading to get something you need for your thesis. Aurelie is offering you a bite of the sandwich she'd brought, telling you that a bag of chips also has the potential to be yours if you can get the last of your necessary research done in time to meet your February 18th deadline.

Adam presses a kiss to the top of your head as he maneuvers back into sitting down, gesturing at the coffees to tell Aurelie and Sam which ones are theirs and which ones are yours and Adams.

Adam wraps an arm around your shoulders as you thank him, taking a sip of your coffee, the order for which Adam had memorized at some point in the four years of your relationship to that point. He kisses your temple in response, grabbing his own coffee from the tray and checking the time.

It's not until six grueling hours, sunrise and four mental breakdowns have surpassed that you're officially done with your thesis. Adam asks if you want to spend the night at his place--you're not going into classes tomorrow if the way that you talked about sleeping in is of any indication--and Aurelie gives you a high five and mentions one of the bags of Doritos she'd brought along to munch on as she studied but hadn't ended up touching.

"You officially owe them a thousand kisses, you know," Aurelie says as you tuck your notebooks into the satchel you've been using since Adam had gifted it to you when you'd walked across the stage and graduated high school three and a half years prior. "You've gotta do it. It's what they deserve."

Adam laughs, blue-green eyes meeting Aurelies hazel brown ones. "I know," he says. "Though, to be fair, I don't think they really expected three pages to turn into fifteen more tacked on."

"They did not," you state affirmatively. "Professor Mason better fuckin' love me for it, though. I hadn't expected to meet his maximum page count and I managed to, just barely. Give me the chips."

Adam and Sam both laugh at the come-hither motion you make with your finger as Aurelie gets a bag of Doritos from her bag and tosses them at you, laughing a bit herself.

"Gremlin person," she says, shuddering a little for dramatic effect. "I surrender an offering to thee."

"The gremlin thanks you for it means the gremlin can put ordering dinner off for like, an hour and a half," you laugh a little, breaking open the bag of Doritos as Adam steals your two-litre water bottle from the table and takes a sip, leaving it open if you should decide to take a sip within the following thirty seconds.

You do, taking a break in your Dorito munching to take a sip of the water while Adam steals a chip from the bag and all of your preparations to leave are temporarily put on hold.

"I'm serious about the thousand kisses thing," Aurelie says. "Four breakdowns, fifteen pages and six different books in six hours. You have to do something to celebrate that."

Adam laughs, runs a hand through hair that he has yet to cut because he can't usually afford it and when he can, there are always better ways for money to be spent.

"I know you are," he says. "For the record, I am, too. I have a plethora of plans to make Y/Ns productivity feel worth it tonight, trust me."

"Gonna let me in on one of them?"

"I set aside $200 over my last few paychecks," Adam says. "Your birthday presents await, one of which is dinner."

"Two hundred from your paychecks--even multiple--means you have less grocery money, idiot," you scold lightly, glaring at him. Adam laughs, shakes his head, uses humor to fend off the anger issues that have a tendency to come up and bite him in the ass.

"Scott gave me $400 this month to print band posters," Adam says. "Also designed them, helped hand at least two and a half dozen out to people, but--you don't need to worry, okay? I have stuff covered and I had four hundred I could spend. I didn't spend it on groceries because I didn't need to, so it's okay."

Adam knows you only get defensive because of how his pay is and how his rent and groceries are in direct correlation. He works forty hours a week, brings in six hundred and fifty dollars every two. Rent eats four hundred during that first monthly paycheck and the other two hundred and fifty gets eaten by groceries.

The second pay period of that month is swallowed by other expenses. He sets aside gas money for the rarer times wherein he has to use his car, some money for cigarettes and other pop-up expenses as well as groceries for those two weeks.

His landlord had raised the rent in January of 1997, though. All he had left of his first monthly paycheck was a measly 100 dollars, which he couldn't buy very much with as it were. Scott had given him four hundred dollars for his efforts in graphic design and his access to a printer though, so he was cool as an ice cube in the few days before the second monthly paycheck he got was deposited into his bank account and he could afford to get a couple more things to last him through until next month.

"You promise it has no harm even though your landlord raised your rent to a stupid amount?"

"Rent being raised to a stupid amount means renovations," Adam throws you a cheeky smile. "The heater works, my showerhead isn't busted like it used to be, and the fridge, microwave and oven aren't running on fumes. It has it's perks."

"If I have to force you, you will be dragged by your gorgeous hair to the college apartments one of these days," you say. "They let non-attendees rent out the units year round for three hundred a month. You could actually afford to live if you went that route."

"You'd also be able to afford a haircut," Samantha chirps. You glare at her and Adam has to laugh, pressing his forehead against your shoulder and kissing it as he does.

You part ways thirty minutes later, waving goodbye to Sam and Aurelie as Adam asks who's place you want to go to.

You end up choosing to go to yours--you live in one of the apartment buildings owned and managed by your college. Its one of the many perks attached to the full ride scholarship you earned. It wasn't an easy feat, but you earned it from doing a collaborative photo and written essay that your english teacher called 'completely and totally heartwrenching' on the emotional support stray cats have proven to offer the homeless and those otherwise down on their luck.

Your apartment is nicer than Adams by half a mile, at least. Twelve hundred square feet, two bedrooms for the off chance someone has to move in. White walls, dark brown hardwood flooring, marble countertops in the bathrooms and kitchens, up-to-date appliances wherever such appliances are necessary. It's a good place, ten minutes out from your college campus by car, and you have every intent to keep living there and paying the rent attached once you're done with your PhD.

You and Adam debate dinner but decide to eat it later, go to your room while you talk idly. Adam tells you about his job, you tell him more about the professors who you like, and life carries on.

Adam relaxes in your room while you shower, happy to test the camera he'd bought in the charity shop by taking a photo of a polaroid you'd snapped the previous weekend. Adam has a love-hate relationship with the polaroid because of how goofy it is--it's a photo of him with two cigarettes in his mouth, one behind each of his ears, and one in his hand. They were horrendous cigarettes so the photo wasn't a waste, and he knew you loved it so he let it be.

You come out after fifteen minutes, hair damp as you wear one of Adams shirts and not much else. He grins as you settle into bed, head tilting at you before the question befalls his lips.

"How would you feel if I were to do what Aurelie practically demanded of me?" He asks, unawares as to whether or not you'd heard her remarks. "If I kissed you a thousand times?"

You ghost your teeth over your bottom lip, laughing softly. "You really think you'd be able to keep track?" Adams hand finds your thigh as he nods, palm running across it until he reaches your hip.

"I do," he says. "And besides--I think we kiss at least two hundred times when I wear the gray sweatpants in autumn anyway."

Your tongue juts out to wet your lip. "Okay," you say, realizing very quickly that 1000 kisses is basically the gateway to bliss. "I'm in."

"Really?" Adam asks, grinning like a fool. "Even if I take it slow and you start despising me for it?"

You nod, laughing a little as Adams lips find yours.

The first kiss is deep and intense, one of Adams hands on your hips as the other moves to up your face.

Adams tongue moves expertly around your mouth, thumb rubbing against the skin of your hip gently as he angles your head so that he can kiss you deeper. You moan into his mouth and he laughs a little, only pulling away when neither of you can breathe.

"999 to go," Adam whispers against your lips, smiling when the sound of your laughter meets his ears.

He kisses along your jawline.

998, 997, 996, 995

And then down your neck, tongue joining his lips as his hands move from your hips to your stomach, slowly and steadily inching up your chest.

You're happy to let Adam do as he pleases--it's a good enough gift for hitting twenty-two and because of studying and school getting in the way, you'd not really had much of an opportunity to give him anything significant for his 22nd birthday in the weeks before anyway.

One of your hands finds his hair as his lips remain focused on your neck and you undo the low ponytail he's got it in, moaning out his name as he keeps on going with his kisses.

994, 993, 992, 991, 990, 989, 988, 987

His hands keep their steady incline upwards, stopping to tease your nipples as he presses kiss after absolutely intoxicating kiss back up your neck and your jawline, grinning against your jawline when a soft moan falls from your lips and he tucks his knee between your thighs, pressing it against your core.

986, 985, 984, 983, 982, 981, 980

He captures your lips in his own, one hand moving up to cradle the back of your head and allow the kiss to deepen. The other one stays carefully focused on your nipple, and you laugh into his mouth as you realize he's fighting the urge to smile.

He pulls away to kiss down the other side of your neck and you manage to regain some of your breath thanks to your best efforts.

"Any regrets yet?"

"None at all," Adam laughs against your neck. "Oh, you're gonna be such a mess when I'm done with you. This is amazing."

979, 978, 976, 975, 974, 973, 972, 971, 970

You pull the shirt you'd stolen from Adam off your torso, fighting every single urge you have to grind against his leg as his kisses now start traversing down your chest.

He's the kind of person who commits to an action and it's a very good thing, ordinarily. He wants you to be so kissed up you forget your own name, only really remember his if you remember anyones name at all, and he's committed to that. His kisses will keep slow, his lips glorious and the pressure he puts onto your clit and aching core just enough to make you want to start grinding against him.

He kisses your breasts carefully, takes so much time with your nipples that you're almost completely sure there's a wet spot in his sweatpants from how wet the action has made you, laughs slightly when you moan loudly and become embarrassed.

969, 968, 967, 965, 964, 963, 962, 961, 959, 958, 957, 956, 954, 953, 952, 951, 950

"I love it when you get loud for me, baby," he whispers as he moves his lips down your chest and to your navel. You know he's going to take an absurd amount of time to kiss your hips, but you don't mind that.

You've always been particularly insecure about your hips and Adam has spent the majority of your relationship kissing them and holding them and telling you he loves them when your insecurity shines through. You hate your hips and you hate the hip dips you've been saddled with but Adam? You tell Adam he can't kiss your hips and he spends the next hour kissing you and telling you that you and your hips are fuckin' perfect.

He kisses down your navel and, of course, finds your hips. He glances at you for a second, waiting for your consent to kiss them because he knows it's an area of insecurity for you. When you nod, Adam can't fight his smile as he kisses across your stomach to your right hip, which he spends more time on than is probably worth.

He presses kiss after kiss there, probably leaving a hickey in the wake of his lips from his tongues involvement, murmurs an "I love you so much, baby," against your skin as he kisses across your stomach from your right hip to your left.

He takes his time with your left hip just as well, chuckles at the fact that you're so turned on that you've mindlessly let your moans go from quiet to average in terms of sound level because you've mostly stopped caring.

949, 948, 947, 946, 945, 944, 943, 942, 941, 940, 939, 938, 937, 936, 935, 934, 933, 932, 931, 930, 929, 928, 927, 926, 925, 924, 923, 921, 920

He kisses down to your dripping cunt, laughs when his lips press themselves against your clit because he knows just how wet he's managed to make you within maybe thirty minutes.

He moves his kisses from your wetness to your inner thighs, happy to kiss them for as long as he wants because he loves your thighs as much as he loves your hips--he loves them wholeheartedly, tells you as much as often as possible.

"Love your thighs, puppy," he whispers, breath ghosting against you in a way that makes you shiver. "You're so fucking perfect, yeah?"

You hum a response, unsure of how you're still even slightly coherent.

919, 918, 917, 916, 915, 914, 913, 912, 911, 910, 909, 908, 907, 906, 905, 904, 903, 902, 901, 900

He kisses from your right inner thigh to your left, once again taking his time because of how much he loves them. His hands slip under your thighs to find your hips, and you laugh a little, flustered because the fact of how much he loves your hips and hip dips when they're one of your biggest points of insecurity will never cease to turn you into a blushing idiot.

He laughs against your thigh, eyes keenly watching you. He's always been a bit voyeuristic so the fact that he's watching you is of little surprise, but you don't hate the way that he watches because he looks at you like you're the love of his life.

Granted, he always looks at you like that, but still. It's a nice emotion to register within the levelness of his gaze, the focus swimming in his blue-green eyes muddled by the love and adoration that rears itself upwards whenever he so much as glances in your direction.

899, 898, 897, 896, 895, 894, 893, 892, 891, 890, 889, 888, 887, 886, 885, 884, 883, 882, 881, 880

"So perfect," he whispers, kissing from your thigh back to the area just above your clit. He kisses from there back up your stomach, stopping once more to pay an absurd amount of attention to your hips and hip dips before he's kissing over your chest and you're another minute, maybe two, away from being so blissed out that you lose any and all senses of coherency onto which you've previously held.

"Adam," you whisper, saying his name like it's an unanswered prayer in an empty catholic church. "Adam, please."

His knee finds a spot between your legs again, and you moan as he presses it against your clit while his kisses move from your chest back to your neck.

879, 878, 877, 876, 875, 874, 873, 872, 871, 870, 869, 868, 867, 865, 864, 863, 862, 861, 860, 859, 858, 857, 856, 855, 854, 853, 852, 851, 850, 849, 848, 847, 846, 845, 843, 842, 841, 840

One of his hands finds your hip, the other one coming up to your lips. He presses his thumb against your bottom lip you take it into your mouth without a second thought, holding Adams gaze.

"Good puppy," he whispers, moaning lowly and pressing his forehead against the left side of your neck. "Oh, you're so good for me."

You moan, rutting your hips against his leg before you can stop yourself. The movement makes Adam grin, lift himself up so that he's staring down at you.

"You're desperate, aren't you?" He asks, a teasing grin on his face. "Keep doing that, mm? Grind against my leg, puppy. I know you want a release."

You moan, setting a pace with your hips as Adam slips his finger from your mouth and moves it to your chest, lips returning to your neck.

839, 383, 837, 836, 835, 834, 833 832, 831, 830, 829, 828, 287, 826, 825

Adams lips remain on your neck, occasionally drifting to your collarbone, upper chest and shoulders. He's relentless with his praise because he knows it's bound to make you melt, and make you melt it absolutely does.

"You're ethereal," he whispers, nipping gently at the skin of your collarbone. "I'm so proud of you, puppy. Workin' so hard to finish with your PhD program, you're fuckin' amazing."

You moan in response, needing more friction. Adam presses his knee against your clit further, adding just a bit more pressure--enough pressure to almost make you lose it.

You moan lewdly, hands slipping underneath his shirt to grip the skin of his back. The action makes Adam laugh, his kisses becoming more slow and deliberate as he starts kissing along your neck and eventually tilts your head up to reach the underside of your jaw.

"You're so perfect," he whispers.

824, 823, 822, 821, 819, 818, 817, 816, 815 814, 813, 812, 810

His kisses traverse back down your neck for what feels like the millionth time, and he kisses your shoulders and collarbone in a way that he knows makes you want him inside you more than will ever be reasonable.

When his kisses move down your chest and he adjusts so that he's not stuck in an uncomfortable position, you whimper at the loss of contact as his leg moves.

He's quick with it, though--one of his hands moves to your clit, rubbing slow circles as he tells you to grind against it in place of his knee.

809, 808, 807, 806, 805, 804, 803, 802, 801, 800

Before you can really register it, his lips are pressing kiss after senseless kiss against your inner thighs and you're moaning, begging words falling from your lips because all you want is to feel his tongue pressing flat against you while he slowly thrusts a finger into your folds.

He presses a few kisses against your clit, watching you through his eyelashes.

You look like a picture of bliss--one of your hands clutches the sheets, the other one has pulled itself through your hair so many times that a mess has been made of it, and you're biting your lower lip with anticipation.

His hands slide themselves under your thighs and over your hips, finding their favorite spot as his tongue presses flat against your clit. You press your head into the pillow it rests upon, moaning lewdly at the contact.

799, 798, 797, 796, 795, 794, 793, 792, 791, 790, 789, 788, 787, 786, 785, 784, 783, 782, 781, 780, 779, 778, 777, 776, 775, 774, 773, 772, 771, 770, 769, 768, 767, 765, 764, 763, 762, 761, 759, 758, 757, 756, 754, 753, 752, 751, 750

Adams tongue is skilled--eating you out is one of the things that gets you both off the quickest, and because of Aurelies words, you have zero doubt you're in for at least another few orgasms before Adam is done, but the way that his tongue feels against you is so good that you remain entirely unbothered by the idea, focusing on the way that his tongue feels when he presses it flat against your clit and the way that his hands feel as one locates your nipples and the other remains on your hip with the aim of keeping you steady.

When you start helplessly grinding against his face, Adam doesn't stop you. He moans, burying his face in your cunt and letting you ride his face paceless and senseless, clearly just wanting you to cum all over his nose, mouth, and chin.

When you come for the first time that night, you do so with a moan of Adams name before you release over his face. He keeps his tongue on your clit and works you through the aftershocks before he pulls away, lifting himself up to your level again and kissing you soft and slow, letting you taste yourself on his lips.

He cleans his face after your kiss, gets back into bed and presses kiss after kiss against your face, neck, and shoulders, delivering praise to you like it's nothing, and you can tell he means every word.

"You're amazing," he whispers. "You did so good for me, puppy."

Forty minutes of kisses go by, and you're happy to let Adam keep kissing you for the rest of time if he wants to.

749. 748, 747, 746, 745, 744, 743, 742, 741, 740, 739, 738, 737, 736, 735, 734, 732, 731, 730, 729, 728, 727, 726, 725, 724, 723, 722, 721, 720, 719, 718, 717, 716, 715, 714, 713, 712, 711, 710, 709, 708, 707, 706, 705, 704, 793, 792, 701, 700

"How many kisses down?" You ask, practically swimming in post-orgasm bliss.

"300," Adam grins cheekily at you. "It's been an hour and a half. That basically sets us up for another four hours."

"What time is it?" You ask. Adam checks the clock.

"About to be six thirty," he says. "We'll be done by around ten if you're still wanting me to actually kiss you a thousand times."

"Do you still want to?"

"I wouldn't tire of kissing you even if I gave it my all, so I'd like to, yeah."

You grin at him, nod. "Please kiss me again."

Adam does as you ask of him, smiling a little bit into the kiss as your hands slip underneath his shirt with the aim of eventually slipping the shirt over his head.

He pulls away to take his shirt and pants off, momentarily feeling guilt for being completely clothed while you were completely exposed.

The guilt fades when you're pulling him back into you by the neck and laughter bubbles up from his throat as he calls you a kiss fiend and moves to press kisses along your jawline.

You let him kiss you senseless, counting down the kisses while you have half the mind to do so, before he's taken you and turned you into a thoughtless, brainless version of yourself that's so clouded by bliss that any other emotion pushing past the weightlessness of how you'll feel is completely and totally inconceivable.

Adam has kissed you one hundred and fifty five more times across forty-five minutes by the time that you lose focus, as he's telling you to turn around so that he can kiss your back and you're doing as he asks because of how good the kisses feel and the fact that you never want them to stop.

He kisses along your shoulder blades, down the backs of your arms and the back of your neck, praising you and making sure you're not completely and totally blissed out by asking you to use your words and tell him how good it feels.

He kisses the backs of your hips, smiles against your skin and then turns you back around, kisses your lips sweetly as his hand trails down your chest, past your stomach, to your clit. He laughs, presses a kiss against your forehead when he presses his finger against your clit and you moan because it's throbbing and the touch feels amazing.

"Adam," you whisper. "Please."

Adam nods, rubs slow circles around your clit as his lips press themselves against your neck.

545, 544, 543, 542, 541, 540, 539, 538, 537, 3537, 535, 534, 533, 532, 531, 530, 529, 528, 527, 526, 525

The pace he sets with his finger is slow, his lips pressing kiss after kiss to your neck as you slip further and further into the bliss of it all. You're pretty much content to let Adam do whatever he wants to you at this point, all of the stress from completing your thesis and trying to figure out plans with Aurelie and Sam to celebrate your birthday melting away with every single one of Adams kisses and the pressure of his fingers.

524, 523, 522, 521, 520, 519, 518, 517, 516, 515, 514, 513, 512, 511, 510, 509, 508, 507, 506, 505, 504, 503, 502, 501, 500

Adam replaces his fingers with his thumb, pulls you into an open-mouthed kiss as he slowly thrusts his fingers into you.

You moan into his mouth, grinding against his fingers slowly.

"So good for me, puppy," Adam whispers against your lips. "God, you're so perfect."

You moan again in response, and Adams lips dip to your collarbone, paying attention to it like he hasn't since the kisses began. He fucks you with his fingers as his lips press kiss after fervent kiss against your shoulders, collarbone, and chest, dick throbbing because he hasn't let himself come yet.

When you're coming for the second time, Adam is kissing you and you're practically floating, willing to do any and everything he asks of you. His kisses are perfect and he knows how to make you teeter on the edge of release until he's ready to let you go, and he does such, kissing you senseless until he curls his fingers inside you with each of his thrusts and you're coming undone around his fingers within five minutes after those ministrations had begun.

You moan his name into his mouth, and he pulls away from the kiss as you clench around his fingers.

Clean up is simple enough--after he's kissed you through the aftershocks and pulled his fingers out of you, he simply licks his fingers clean while you watch him, dazed but mesmerized.

499, 498, 487, 496, 495, 494, 493, 492, 491, 490, 489, 488, 487, 486, 485, 484 483, 482, 481, 480, 479, 478, 476, 475 473, 472, 471, 470, 469, 468, 467, 466, 465, 464, 463, 462, 461, 460

"Adam," you whisper. "There are condoms in my nightstand. Need to feel more than your fingers."

"Y/N--" two times across three hours feels like a stretch, and he knows you have zero intention to go to class for the rest of the week because you've finished up with your thesis and thus, there's no point until you have to pass it in on it's due date, but still. Adam doesn't want to leave you so sore that you can't walk when you're a college student with more things to worry about than he.

"Please," you whisper. "I'll be fine, I promise. I had hoped the 1000 kisses thing would mean I got fucked senseless anyway. I already told my professors not to expect me for another week because of how much work I've done, and how badly I need a break. I need to feel you and you're throbbing because you've only fucked me with your tongue and your fingers, so it's a win-win situation."

Adam presses another two kisses to your forehead before he rolls over in the bed to grab a condom. He takes off his boxers as you tear the condom open, rolling it onto his length and relishing in the way that he moans at the contact of your hand with his cock.

"Fuck, Y/N," he moans quietly.

You let him position himself at your entrance, moan at every inch he pushes into you because of how good it feels. Adams cock is long and thick and nothing you'll ever get tired of.

Once his full length is inside you, he moans, pressing his forehead into the pillow to the right of your head as one of your hands finds his hair and the other rests on his neck. Your thighs move to wrap around his waist, and he kisses the side of your jawline as he waits for you to adjust.

459, 458, 457

When you give Adam the okay to start moving, he does so, his lips pressing kisses just about wherever they can reach.

It doesn't take Adam very long to make you see stars, the kisses that he delivers adding to the mindlessness of the way you feel. Every single minute that passes and you get closer and closer to forgetting what your own name is, Adams name the only clear thought that runs through your mind, repeating itself over and over like a mantra that only barely manages to keep you from floating away.

456, 455, 454, 453, 452, 451, 450, 449, 448, 447, 446, 445, 444, 443, 442, 441, 440, 439, 438, 437, 436, 435, 434, 432, 431, 430, 429, 428, 427, 426, 425, 424, 423, 421, 420, 419, 418, 417, 416, 415, 414, 413, 412, 411, 410, 409, 408, 407, 406, 405, 404, 403, 402, 401, 400

Adam keeps going after you've released and you're happy to let him, the feeling of him inside you too good to do anything but relish in. He moans your name in between his kisses, chasing the high of his own orgasm while also wanting to bring you to the edge of a fourth.

"Fuck," he moans. You're practically brainless beneath him, a cock-drunk mess of moans as your nails dig into his back and the hand that's kept a hold on his hair holding it so that it doesn't fall to the side because you'd taken the elastic out of it without thinking.

"Adam," you moan, his name the only coherent thought you have.

"You feel amazing," he responds, kissing your forehead. "Fuck, baby. You feel so good around me, mm?"

You moan in response and his kisses return to your neck, kissing along the underside of it and up to the underside of your jaw before his lips move back to your shoulders again.

399, 398, 397, 396, 395, 394, 393,392, 391, 390, 389, 388, 387, 386, 385, 384, 383, 382, 381, 380, 379, 378, 377, 376, 375, 374, 373, 372, 321, 370, 369, 368, 367, 366, 365, 364, 363, 362, 361, 360, 359, 358, 357, 356, 355, 354, 353, 352, 351, 350

He's apologizing lightly for a hickey that forms on your neck as he continues thrusting, and you're so blissed out from being fucked into the mattress that you tell yourself you'll give him a response later.

He slows the pace of his thrusts enough to drive you up the wall just a little, keeps that pace while he kisses you senseless for a long fifteen minutes before he kicks the pace back up again, dialing it from a six to an eleven within seconds.

349, 348, 347, 346, 345, 344, 342, 341, 340, 339, 338, 337, 336, 335, 334, 333, 332, 331, 330, 329, 328, 37, 326, 325, 324, 323, 322, 321, 320, 319, 318, 317, 316, 315, 314, 313, 312, 311, 310, 309, 308, 307, 306, 305, 304, 303, 302, 301, 300

Adams pace is quick, evenly timed, and perfect. You can hardly control how loud your moans start getting and Adam loves it, laughs when you press your forehead into the side of his neck in a break where he'd stopped kissing you because of your embarrassment.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed, puppy," he whispers, kissing your forehead. You hum your disagreement and he kisses you as deeply as either of you can manage, hand cradling your neck to allow the kiss to be so deep.

He pulls away and presses his lips across your chest again, keeping count where you've lost the ability to because of how fucked out you're starting to feel.

One hundred more kisses pass you by, and by that point Adams kicked the pace up just enough.

You come with a whisper of his name, saying it like it's the most meaningful word you'll ever speak. Adams teeth bite gently against your neck and he moans your name as your fourth release triggers his first, and he releases into the condom.

After thrusting into you through the post-orgasm aftershocks, Adam pulls out. He disposes of the condom while you go pee to avoid a UTI, and when you're back in bed, Adams lips are kissing you again and you're so blissed out that all you can do is stare at him lovingly.

The last two hundred kisses go by within fifteen minutes, Adams lips soft against your skin as he delivers whispered praise and sweet nothings in between each of the kisses he drops over your face, your arms, your hips, stomach, and thighs.

When he leaves, you're smiling like a buffoon and so happy your heart could melt with the joy you feel. He gets a bath going and then helps you to the bathroom, helps you into the bathtub while he reaffirms that he's proud of you for all the work you'd done with your thesis and acknowledges how hard it's been for you.

You let Adam wash your hair, exhausted and still not very coherent as he does so. It's very easy to melt into him and the way that his hands feel, and you let yourself do so without a second thought.

You agree to order pizza as a late-night dinner--it's nearly ten o'clock by the time you're both discussing it--and Adam helps you out of the bathtub, gets you to sit on the toilet while he blowdries your hair and leads you back to the bedroom.

He laughs when you point out the drawer of clothes you have that belong to him, kissing your forehead and making a remark about a pair of sweatpants he's not seen in close to two years. He gets dressed in the clothes from that drawer, helps you do the same because every single one of your limbs feels like Jell-o--completely and utterly unstable.

He grabs your phone from where you keep it, on the television stand in your living room, orders your birthday pizza while the two of you lay in your bed.

"Happy birthday," he says after the phone call is done and the pizza order is placed.

"Thank you," you hum, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. He grins a little, runs a hand through your hair and hums contentedly.

"I love you," he whispers after silence has settled.

"I love you more," you respond, half-asleep but so content your chest aches with it.

Adam presses a kiss to your forehead, holds you close and for a minute, feels as though letting you go is an impossible feat, hopes that nothing ever comes around to separate the two of you from one another.

His gaze shifts from you to the window, hand running through your hair as he watches the sky and listens to the sounds of the outdoors at two hours before midnight.

He's so content it makes him ache, and he knows you feel the same.

All in all, you have to think, as you drift off, that it's your best birthday yet.

[karshown]

❦ .. Attention seeking Satoru, as usual. --

blkreader x gojo // aka your BOSS whom you are also married to. // setting: work / work building owned by ofc Satoru himself. - Chocolate x Vanilla 🤔🤔??!!!

-----------------------------------------------------

Today you actually planned on getting something work done, for the first time in what felt like a million years, not like you had to but because you simply felt like you wanted to. Sounds weird I know, you felt like you were slacking off, not like it meant anything if you were but it didn't feel right. So this triggered something within you to force you to work, whether you liked it or not.

Satoru certainly didn't, thats for sure. He felt ignored, as if he was completely being replaced by a few files, files that couldn't even give you the extreme pleasure that he gives you on a daily, that couldn't do anything but pile up. Which was complete bullshit, and he wasn't having it. You didn't even have to work! regardless he paid for everything you wanted, anything you even lightly mention to him was immediately bought & on your nightstand within seconds, thats not even half of the extreme that Satoru would go to, just to see you simply smile.

Today you werent smiling, you were so focused you forgot to smile. You had a look of constipation on your face, all you have been doing is squinting at the bright shine of light from your computer & working on your boring files, of course Satoru would know since watching you was his favorite show.

-----------------------------------------------------

Hours passed as you finally took a few minutes to stand up, your legs almost jelly as you grip the desk beneath you for support, the way you slightly bent over the desk made Satorus usual smirk appear, it took everything in him to not run up behind you & grip those soft, almost plush golden cheeks.

Instead he whistled, barely paying attention you didn't even bother making a slick remark back, all you focused on was fixing your black pencil skirt & coffee, all you craved was coffee, not Satoru dick. Not today, not this time, he will not catch you in his slick traps this time. He frowned by your response to his childish chance at flirting.

He had just enough of this 'work bullshit' he could NOT be replaced by a man with the name of 'files' and on top of that another man named a 'computer' he wasn't having it, it was crushing his overly large ego making him feel like nothing but a pebble beneath your heel.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Please notice me.." Satoru slyly snuck his hand around the curves of your waist as you stood in front of the coffee machine, he nuzzled his chin into your exposed collar bone, inhaling your natural scent that lingered into his nose he just couldn't get enough, you not talking to him was driving him insane already, then not even bothering to reply to his flirting was the breaking point.

His whimpering tone was as if Satoru gojo, was begging..? begging for your attention..? Damn he definitely was desperate. Even bothering to use the word "please," you simply had given up on the whole work act.

"Sorry baby," you lowly replied as you cupped the side of his face with your hand, sent a small shiver down his spine, this is what he had been craving all day, wanting, needing, he needed your touch at least 50 times a day or he simply wouldn't function as a human being. He would completely shut down, he didn't even realize how deeply desperate he presumed to be, he didnt care.

You were his entire world, Satoru truly felt like he would be nothing without you.

The tone of your voice signaled him to begin kissing on your exposed neck, the skin he left trails of kisses on awakened with each small touch, until Nobara went out of her way to interrupt.

"Ewwwww!!! get a room." She rolled her honey orange eyes, as she crossed her arms across her chest with an empty mug in one of her hands as she held it loosely. "Ughh Nobara you just have to ruin everything, fuck." Satoru groaned as he stepped back, but pulling you along as he directed you towards his empty office, Nobara already knew what was going to go down in that pitch black office, especially since it was lightly tinted. On top of that around this same time everyday you came out the office sweating, Afro puffer than usual (lowk a good thing), & your legs trembling as you almost trip over your own two feet.

-----------------------------------------------------

[theslay3d]

Piper McLean x reader where reader breaks up with her because of her internalised misogyny

Piper McLean x Any camper!reader

Gender: Gender neutral kind of will change if someone thinks otherwise

Warnings: Misogyny

Word Count: 749

A/N lowkey i think the reason piper may have felt that way is because of her mom leaving and not just Rick not portraying her that way. please dont get mad at this.

You and Piper were dating. It was great at first. After you Leo, Piper and Jason all got to camp is when you started to notice something about her.

First it was just little comments surrounding the Aphrodite cabin which could be played off that it was all new to her. Over the course of the whole quest you kept hearing her make those little comments like that. 

Of course that's when you started to pay attention to how she worded things and what she said.  It was hard to figure out if what she was saying was wrong as the way she worded it made it hard to tell. You did start to correct her and call her out when she said anything misogynistic which just ended up in fights of her denying it. 

That's when the comments really started to bug you. She started to say them about you and herself. She would say stuff like “I don't know why you care so much about makeup” when you would put some on. Which was hard to tell what she meant until the comments started to get bigger about things.

Like when you would finally get a moment of peace to watch a movie or tv show you always paid attention to what she said about the women on there. 

After a while what she said really started to make you insecure. You felt like you couldn't like anything feminine without her nitpicking it. 

That's when you had enough. You tried to point it out, you didn't let her get away with the comments, you tried your best to show her how wrong what she was saying is yet she denied it. So that night you were gonna break up even though you did love her. What she was saying wasn't right and was harmful to you and others. 

You were nervous. It was getting closer to the time you invited Piper to the dock to talk to her aka break up with her. You hoped that this wouldn’t end up in a huge fight which would leave your friends feeling very awkward and ultimately hurt you and Piper. 

You truly did not want to hurt her. You know she's been through a lot but you were also a person in this relationship who had feelings. 

You turned your head to the clock you had in your cabin and saw it was time. You walked out and started walking towards the dock. You were surprised to see Piper there already with her back facing you and her feet over the ledge. 

You sat down next to her with a little more distance than you usually would and started out at the lake. It was silent until she Piper said “I think i know what this is about” 

You turned your head to look at her. Her eyes were narrowed from the wind and a few pieces of hair that came loose from her braid were hitting her face. She looked gorgeous yet she had this knowing and sad glint in her eyes. “What do you think it's about?” You asked, turning your head back towards the lake.

“Your breaking up with me over those stupid jokes i made” She phrased it like a statement as if her blade had showed her it which maybe it did.

“Jokes?” you laughed a little as you said it. Did she truthfully think it was just jokes? 

“They weren't just jokes Piper you were being mean even others noticed it” 

She rolled her eyes. “They were jokes Y/N stop being a girl and overreacting”

“Gods Piper what you just said is exactly why i'm breaking up with you” You lifted your hands to rub your face “You're hurting me Piper. Emotionally you are harming me and my mental health so yes thats why im breaking up with you”

“Fine Y/N whatever you say we’re done i guess” 

You sighed and got up. “I don't want to fight with you Piper. I do love you but not enough to harm my mental health for you so goodbye i hope one day you realize what you're saying” You turned and started to walk back to your cabin. 

Piper watched as you walked away. She loved you too but didn't think anything was wrong with what she was saying. She looked out towards the lake and bit her lip trying to stay silent as she started crying. 

Maybe one day she would change. 

[lettuce-king]

Alright fuck this im gonna have to start this conversation because you guys can't act like fucking adults.

I'll preface this by saying I ship namdermo and there's nothing wrong with shipping it.

However,,,

The problem starts when y'all start shitting on Harvey and the other actors when they're doing interviews.

You guys get way too comfortable pushing all the blame for nandermo not being cannon on Harvey and Kayvan. Yes they're going all will they/won't they with their responses but they are answering these questions with their perspective on the characters.

News flash,,,they don't write the plot. They don't write what happens to their characters. Do they get to improvise a little? Yes when they're allowed to, bit its not enough to change the fucking plot. They just act as the characters, they aren't them.

Is there a better way to go around answering these questions? Yea, actors should be given pre-written responses they can use to avoid answering those types of questions. Unfortunately they aren't, so they have to wing it without giving too much away.

But another way to avoid this is by not asking dumb fucking questions in the first place. Specifically, when he and the main cast were answering question at Comic Con, the interviewer asked something along the lines of "was the fight at the night market charged with sexual tension?" Genuinely how the fuck is he supposed to answer that? Not only is that a weird thing to ask but you're not asking a character, your asking this fucking guy that just so happens to play the character, he doesn't fucking know, what the fuck is he supposed to say? "Yea absolutely?" "No, they're in different relationships and it was a ego driven fight?" Its like people forget he's a fucking person outside of the show, asking dumb shit like that is not only awkward for him as an actor, but fucking disrespectful.

Not once have any of you considered they might be legally obligated, under fucking contract, to not discuss future plot events, so to avoid anything that might spoil the season they have to give will they/won't they responses.

Not to mention that I've seen so many people shit on Harvey for posting nandermo fan art on his page and then say something that disproves nandermo in an interview. If you paid attention to his stories, he posts anything with Guillermo in it, ship-related or not. He's literally just supporting fans and encouraging fan art. I'm sorry actors and content creators don't normally share and repost ship fan art but most of them don't share fan art at all, so don't discourage one of the only ones thats do so from giving recognition to the fans for putting time and work into something.

I know you guys don't want to be ship-bated but IF nandermo is genuinely slowburn, why would you want it cannon now? A season or 2 before it becomes cannon in the show? Its kills the excitement and build up and all ur left with is dissapointment with knowing what happens next. And even if it doesn't become cannon, you can still ship it, just don't hate on the actors.

My point is this: These actors are real people. They are not the characters in the show. Do not harrass them or treat them like shit bc they post some shipping fan are or decredit your ship. They are fucking people and you as a fan should remember to treat them like it. Don't be fucking disrespectful, act like a god damn adult.

[expfcultragreen]

"Art is art and art is fun because we use our art to torture people because we cant get boners now and we're bored and we like watching other people die and even making it happen if possible, also we accuse everyone else of being totalitarian fash to deflect from this"

Oh ok what if i use my art to ridicule everything about you white apes for this

"Noooooooo wahhhhh pay no attention to the gaggle of losers behind the curtainnnnnn.....we're going to teach kids to smash brave little toasters for this, youll see, oh youll see"

Ok hows this for a fuck yall: public domain should start after a year. THEN we'd see innovation

Watcher style, its a part of the commons soon enough to facilitate culture but also delayed enough to get them paid

Everyone sensible already knows this and so you privately already advocate this yourselves im sure ....to the people who would find it intelligent and fair, anyway.........seems like the babies are all scared of robots lately for no reason, like its a crusade against tech itself, marty....against civilizational continuity even and i recall youre not a fan of civilizational continuity.....feels like the babies are more excited about money than progress and some someones feed them validation for that

Did you and your sadist art friends really throw a rave where the projector was playing indecipherably realistic footage of a baby getting raped by a rabbit? A little bird told me, you did, and that everyone wanted to die but they werent allowed to leave or something......now to be clear, i was told this in my head. Im crazy, you see. This was when all the heavy machine use next door percipitated my belief that you were tunneling from their house to under my rv and making a bunker cavern to sit in so you could psychically manipulate me as intensively as possible. Thats were i was "told" the rave happened.....in fact i was informed in my head about it for days...you kept trying to convince me that actually there were lots of home movies of me instead of none, but they were all just masonic CP about how to make a medium and "why its ok/great to abuse children actually"

This was the summer of feverish attempts to convince me that when my testes were removed they used the sperm to clone me and sell the clones to masons as 'realistic robots' to sublimate all their insane pedophilia from having to get brainwaahed by the cp of me into agreeing that child abuse is good and no one should say anything about it when they see it

Also the summer i told the cops to kill me when they showed up and they set a dog on me because for some reason 👀 theyd brought one for a ~wellness ~check

[glorifiedbones]

im telling myself i have to keep going. for this cruise my aunt paid for already. i just need to keep going until my birthday and this gift i am so gracious for. and yet part of me despises it because if it wasnt there i would get out of my bed right now, creep into my kitchen, grab a knife, probably stand still in the kitchen. put it back, pull it back, put it back. id stand there for a couple moments in eerie silence of the night. id contemplate if thats something id really want to do or not. i think the answer is yes. i almost gave my friend a hundred dollars for his birthday cause i figured if im dead i dont need any money. i changed my mind because i thought that was pretty fucked up even for me. i think to myself maybe stay alive long enough just for grandma to die. thats morbid i know; but my grandfather has already passed but the worst part is i think to myself maybe not. because at best she has twenty years left. my worst because i cant wait twenty years. in twenty years ill be forty and im positive ill kill myself before i turn twenty five. if im realistic probably twenty three.

its not healthy you impose your mental health on someone else but sometimes i wonder if i had a significant other id change my mind about killing myself. i like to think itd be because id be happy. but i know you shouldnt impose life altering feelings such as those on someone else. you cant control other people. my metaphorical boyfriend/girlfriend that doesnt exist could leave me. lately ive thought to myself that id be okay with a boyfriend that would abuse me because at least that would mean he hasnt left me. in my sick and twistsd mind that tells me, at least he still cares enough about me to comit domestic violence. and than my stomach turns because holy shit that is mentally ill i shouldnt be wishing that im abused just for some love or pity or attention seeking or whatever the fuck it is im missing so badly in life. i think the answer is yes. id grab the blade and head to my shower turn it on. fill the tub with hot water. place the blade on the counter. id turn back to my bedroom door, lock. closet, new clothes my future dead body clothes. i think about how my corpse would look sometimes. how it would degrade if no one found my corpse. would i have gnats flying over me and maggots crawling over my grey skin and i wonder what i would look like if i had a gun and spewed my brains out all over the wall if i put it in my mouth and pulled the trigger. thats a bit dark but y’know. whatever. id put my dead body clothes on and turn the light off and shut the closet door and grab my phone thats in my room charging on the charger. id pull it off and open up musi. id probably play the playlist my friend made me. or maybe id press shuffle on my whole playlist. it sits on top of the back of my toilet. id sit on my knees on my spiderman bathmat if the tub wasnt full yet while i waited for it to fill. turn it off when it does. grab the blade. step in the tub. sit. lean back. my breathing would be heavy because holy fuck am i really about to do this? its what ive been waiting for, for fucking ages! im jealous of the me i picture in my head right now. because the me in my head right now makes an ugly whimpering sound as i slice two lines dug into my arms and rolled up sleeves. like how hannah baker did on that dumb fucking show. i havent even finished it because it got dumb as shit with the raped girl and her boyfriend. i wonder what noises i would make if someone else was stabbing me. not like a metaphorical lover but like a serial killer or something. though i suppose if i was to go out by a lover than maybe theyd play the part of grieving boyfriend well. or theyd kill themselves after too, one final act of love and devotion. but thats a bit fucked up like romeo and juliet and that wasnt romantic because romeo was a dumb piece of shit who promptly forgot that the plan was to fake their deaths. obviously she wasnt dead you numbskull. and juliet how could you be in love with a man so stupid? how could anyone be in love with a man so depressed like me?

how could anyone look at me and think thats their person? its not a question of am i worthy or not, its a question of am i desirable enough. the answer is im not by the way. raging mental illness is hot on chicks but thats like the bipolar im obsessed with you or im a whore mental illness. not the i am literally fantasizing about my death right now mental illness. is it a crime to want to be the former rather than the later? maybe id wear a black corset and flaunt my breasts and suck cock and get laid and tie long straight brown hair up into a pony tail and get my nails done. but im not a woman and those things arent exactly the me i have in mind. maybe woman me would be cool with that, at least shed be getting laid. but im just me, the male me by the way, and im not confident at all like that. i wish i was a different person. taller, blonder, chiseled jaw, id work out and each vegetables and know how to cook and clean, id be like the boys on tiktok who wore maid outfits for the funny trends, and id probably shop for clothes more often to stay trendy and stylish, id post body checks and thirst traps on tiktok and instagram and maybe id play the guitar better than i already do. pst, i dont really know how to play, im faking it. at least thats what i tell myself in an attempt to self sabotage and diminish any real qualities i may potentially have about myself because the thing is at least if i have nothing going on in my life at all it makes sense to kill myself you know?

but the thing is i play the guitar and i play video games and maybe all my friends are online but those are still friends and i should have reasons to not kill myself, those are plenty good reasons. a family that loves and cares and provides endlessly for me. and im fucking selfish because for whatever reason thats not enough for me. id hiss at the hot water as it stings my skin and id hiss as the blade cuts into my skin and id cry because maybe ill finally be happy if im fucking dead. my blood swirls in with the water. it sloshes over the sides of the tub and onto the false wood of the ground. just another thing my lazy useless selfish self has left for someone else to pick up after. id kill myself in the bathtub because itd make it easier on everyone else to clean up my corpse. the thing is my mother would never know for hours because id do it at night when i make sure shes asleep. shed sleep for eight to ten hours. thatd be eight to ten hours where im dead and she couldnt do anything about it. no more intake systems that kick me out after two days because they either dont care about me or im not depressed enough to warrant a stay or maybe we paid for that and im just too fucking broke to deserve being helped. no more feeling like the most useless person on the planet because im literally a fat as fuck discord admin who lives in their moms basement except im worse because they can get discord kittens and ive never even held someones hand romantically. ive never had my first kiss, ive never had sex, ive never touched another womans breasts or felt the feeling of another mans cock inside me or gone on a date. ive never cuddled someone who noses at my neck leaving soft kisses, ive never made someone giggle so much because i made them feel safe and loved. ive never been with another person and i put all my self worth onto this imaginary person. and its selfish because im expecting this falsehood to cure my illness but ive been depressed for years and its not going to be cured. ill forever be like this. in truth ill probably chicken out because im a pussy and ill leave more words like these and play more games and gain more weight and be more of a loser.

maybe ill kill myself when im thirty two and id live by myself and i dont talk to my mother or father or aunt or uncle. i go to my minimum wage job and go back home again. ive gained a hundred pounds and im a fat ugly fuck who cant see properly because id be too broke to buy new prescription glasses. i have no one to call, no friends, not even online ones, still a virgin, a pathetic no life no one. this is how i see myself now but if im thirty two and still living itd be even worse because thats just a grotesque depressed mother fucker whos pathetic. id drink alcohol so im piss drunk, id have a gun purchased and registered under my name, and id be able to buy it because i havent been medicated since early highschool and theres no legal signs of my depression and truthfully its not thay hard to lie to professionals. but honestly id probably be golden with the gun licensing because they dont exactly have super strict regulations everywhere, so id just go somewhere that doesnt have many. id be drunk off piss warm beer i choked down, maybe fruity vodka because the idea of piss warm beer is disgusting but the beer would be cheaper i think. id choke down the whole six pack, maybe pull out a smoke, id sit in my creaky old chair id probably bought off amazon or facebook market place. the gun and bullet casings would be on a table beside me. id grab and load the weapon, cock it in my mouth and pull the trigger. simple as that. easy as that. id be dead and no one would find my body. my corpse would get caught because a neighbor would complain about a rancid disgusting smell coming from my flat. i wouldnt care about who cleans up after my mess because there is no one to worry about. theyd clean the splatters of my brains and blood off the wall, maybe theyd take a picture or two. is it fucked up that im romanticizing the idea of my death inside my head right now? im fantasizing about my future inevitable demise and i would fucking smile with glee if i wasnt so exhausted.

but its late and im tired and my bottom lip is pushing uncomfortabley close against the skin of my chin. i cant tell if its because of my buck fucking teeth or if its because im getting fatter, the fat flooding to my face. its already all over my stomach and thighs, im disgusting and undesirable. i miss being sixteen because even though i was fucking depressed and suicidal i was skinny because i would starve myself and my mother would never care because she hated me then. whether she would admit it or not i know my mother did not care about me when i was sixteen. and its not just me being dumb as shit “oh everyone hates me” it was genuinely her actions. choosing people who hurt me over me, staying and standing by their side even to this day but its hard to admit that even to myself because if i do that means its true and isnt my mom the one person in the world who should pick me her son over everyone else, would rather pick someone who hurt me and hurt her and it would also mean no one would ever pick me at the end of the world. im almost jealous of him sometimes. he has someone who would pick him and i have staring at my bedroom wall for sixteen hours a day. god im pathetic. i had one french fry today and i regret eating it so much because if i didnt eat it, that would mean i havent ate anything at all today and part of me needs that back. part of me needs sixteen year old me because i had an undiagnosed eating disorder as a cry for help which no one saw or recognized. and now i have body rolls and im almost two hundred pounds. i had an anorexia tumblr account and i was thin and my stomach was flat and i was thin i was so thin and now im fat and its even worse on me because im fucking short as fuck. i had friends i went to homecoming with i had a best friend and it was us against the world but only in my mind because ive never been anyone elses “its us against the world” and i smiled because even though i struggled mentally i had things that i dont have now. im jealous.

i think often about the person i would be if we never moved. id be in college, have a job, shed still be my best friend because i would have never moved, maybe id have a girlfriend because i was super like into chicks back than and maybe id never fall out of love with women the way it seems i so often have a back and forth now. or maybe id be dating the cute boy i had a crush on who picked me up and span me around the lunch room. or maybe id be dating the girl who grinded up on my cock at homecoming, she was cute. i still have her number, id text her since we were friends back then if i still lived there but we arent friends now and i dont live there anymore. i am not that person anymore. i have to wake up and accept the fact that im not him anymore, “your not that guy, pal. your not that pal buddy. your not that buddy, dude. your not that dude, man. your not that man, guy.”

and so the cycle repeats. i fantasize about the knife in my kitchens knife block. i thing about slitting my throat and slicing open my stomach and killing myself often because im depressed and suicidal and unmedicated and im fucking pathetic. because i wont kill myself. every day i wake up and get on my computer and play video games all day. i wont kill myself because im pathetic and scared, because in truth i want to get better because getting better means being happy and being happy means truly living and truly living means im not stuck inside this ugly shell you call a life that ive crafted for myself. i wont kill myself because i dont know if god is real or not and im scared to die because what if the world is just dark after? i dont think i can truly comprehend how isolating death would be. the burning in my brain, the ringing in my ears, hearing the voice that is thinking inside my head, the feeling of my skin and the ache inside my legs. all of it would just stop and i cant comprehend that and im scared of that. but at the same time i think of that lady gaga interview where shes asked if she could do one thing without any consequences, what would she do?

die she answers. she would die.

[winged-deity]

Hello, sorry if you are busy but could I please request parental dreamsmp members reacting to their child swearing? And when they ask where they learnt that word they say from Uncle Bad when he was cooking or something? I just think it would be funny and wholesome lol, thankyou for your time love ya<3

Thank you for requesting and hope this is to your liking!

Parental! DSMP members reacting to child reader swearing

Heard It From Uncle Bad

warnings: !swearing!, !mentions of violence!, !use of nicknames!

Dream

Dream was keeping a close eye on you playing out in the fields while he sharpened his axe in the cool shadow of a blooming willow tree.

He barely catches a glimpse of you stumbling over your own feet, but as he'd learned, you rarely cried over things like that. But what he heard next, wasnt something he expected.

His head snaps up in full attention when he hears the word leave your mouth, "Fuck!" you had schreeched as you scraped your knees on the muddy ground.

He immediately discarded his axe on the ground, and walked over to you, still in pure and utter shock.

"Little flower, where did you learn that word?" he kneeled beside you, trying his best to contain his inner disappointment and anger torwards whoever taught his child swear words.

You had looked up at him, slightly confused at his sudden interest before you answered his still waiting question "Uncle Bad said it when he hurt his hand on the stove, last weekend when he was watching me"

Dream had blinked at you for a few seconds in utter disbelief, he was about to call you out on lying. Before he remembered that you didnt know any better than to always tell the truth.

After a small discussion where he explained why you couldnt use that word, he left you to Sapnap and George, and headed torwards Bad's house where they would soon have a long talk.

Sapnap

You would be with him, while he is trading in the nether. You usually tend to stick close to him as to not anger the piglins, or get lost.

However, this time while he was trading with you behind him, clinging to his pant leg. A piglin approached you, and as you did not like the intimidating look it was giving you, you hissed at the piglin "Fuck off!"

Sapnap choked on nothing, and immediately slapped a hand over your tiny mouth "hey buddy, don't say that word!.." he chuckled nervously as the piglins eyed him disapprovingly.

After you two got back into the overworld, he lifted you onto his shoulders "where did you learn that word" he had asked you, and you answered with a simple shrug "i heard grandpa say it while i was over at his and skeppy's house"

Sapnap had bursted into laughter the moment he heard this, "thats pretty funny, but don't say that word anymore. People are gonna think i taught you that" he gave an over exaggerated sob for dramatic effect, as you giggled.

Awesamdude

He had been working at the prison nonstop for weeks on end, and as much as he hated to not be able to spend time with you, there was not much he could do.

The biggest suprise was when he was sitting at the front desk, when he heard familiar yelling and pounding on the prison gates. At first he was cautious, but once the next words left your mouth "open the motherfucking door, Awesamdad!" his gaze darkened as he opened the gates, pondering who taught his young child such foul language.

Awesamdude wasnt usually one to care about swearing, but when the case was about his own child thats a no no.

He let you into the prison arms crossed, staring you down as you had no idea how much trouble you were in. "why do you come into my work screaming those bad words at the gates?" he stared you down.

"bad words?" you expressed your confusion "it cant be a bad word, cause uncle Bad said it, and he doesnt use bad language" you crossed your arms proudly over your chest, mimicking your father.

He chuckled quietly "i see.. Well uncle Bad is gonna get a long talk after im done with work"

Philza

He had not planned on adopting anymore children after Tommy (and technically Tubbo), but here he was, in the middle of the tundra, a wanted war criminal, with a child.

He was confident that no bad influences would come to you after the fall of l'manburg, since the only people you two lived with were Techno and Ranboo. And occasionally Niki would show up as well.

So he was in utter and pure shock and disbelief when he heard you shout "fuck!" at the top of your lungs, after falling over while Techno was teaching you how to spar.

Techno immediately dismissed Phil's suspicion torwards him, saying he wouldn't swear in the presence of the child in question. Phil had questioned you in a serious matter, asking who taught you that word, he had his suspicions but he was definitely caught off guard as you mentioned Bad's name.

He had already tried to keep you away from the demon, because of all the mans weird connections with the egg cult and other weird shit. And he didn't even know you had met Bad. He just dismissed it and told you to not talk to that man again, which you happily obliged.

Jschlatt

Schlat wasn't necessarily like other parents, he wasnt the best parent either. So it wouldn't be surprising if you had learned most of your bad influences from him. But besides all those odds, your first curse word wasnt from him.

He already had alot of issues, he wasnt at all fit to lead a country, and his alcohol problems had a vice-like grip on his life. So when he heard you cursing under your breath as you scribbled on paper in his office one day, he simply lifted his brow.

"where'd you learn that, Pumpkin?" he hummed, dismissing his more important paperwork aside.

As stated before, he wasnt necessarily a good parent, he was just simply intrigued on how you knew that language at your age. And more interested in who taught you that, since you weren't allowed to leave the white house without him or Quackity.

And if it turned out to be Quackity who taught you that (which wouldn't be that surprising), he swears he'd had that fuckers head.

He may not have paid alot of attention to you growing up, but he did care about you. Even if he didn't show it. So it wasn't a joke when he said he'd have the person's head who taught his kid swear words.

You had simply turned to him "that scary guy with the horns and white eyes said it while i was on a walk with Mr. Quackity" you hummed, then immediately turning back into your drawings.

Schlatt blinked at you in disbelief, before bursting into laughter "oh that demon fucker?! He bothers everyone else on their language and then swears infront of a child?" he took a deep inhale to calm his laughter, before his eyes turned dark "the nerve.."

--------------------------------------------

I was gonna do more characters, but this is already long enough. Hope everyone liked this, and my requests are still open! <3

[charmixpower]

Rewatching season 1 (and actually paying attention to Sky to figure out what the fuck everyone is talking about): Part 4

EP 16:

Icy what is that demented baby you just made?

Musa is sad :(, I'm taking this one comment as more of a joke than an actual barb

Flora's face I'm screaming

Tecna and Flora know tf is up

FUCK THAT DEMENTED BABY IS CREEPY LOOKING

Ok it's fart less creepy now that's it's evolved

DO A SLUMBER PARTY GIRLS

Musa sees her mother in her dream then calls out for Riven?? Did she see him too?

NEVER MIND THE CREATURE GOT MORE TERRIFYING

Tecna being lost in the Internet/too much data makes so much sense if her magic doesn't function properly bc it's synthetic. Ignore me and my headcanons

The Flora Stan's are winning in this ep

Stella: Maybe Musa can cheer you up! I don't feel so good right now

Bloom: but Stella, at least you know who your parents are

Stella: Yeah, I know who they are, but they don't care much about me. The king and queen of Solaria! But princess Stella? Brought up like a perfect stranger

Everyone: *reacts rightfully horrified*

Stella, realizing she accidentally admitted a negative emotions: Hey! Why all the long faces? I'm way over by now

*Points at Stella* THATS EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

If she was brought up like a perfect stranger that sorta implies that she was raised by strangers, like a revolving door of maids that never stuck around long enough for her to form a connection one

That explains literally all of her attention seeking behaviors, and her tendancy to quickly form intense relationships (one day and she was already ride or die for Bloom)

With the way ONLY her dad shows up to her princess ball, Luna is probably FAR more neglectful than Radius

Stella: the only time they seem to notice me is when I bring home a bad report card

This might be more about Luna than Radius, because he at least shows up to important milestones in her life. He's not good at being there for Stella but he's at least physically present

Stella: so now I get to dream about my parents *shiver*

Bloom: oh poor Stella *laughter*

Odd reaction but this show has never taken Stella's neglect seriously so expected

Flora did her final on this she really should of been able to save her by now

Why the fuck aren't they screaming in terror???? This thing is fucking horrifying

Flora doesn't wanna leave her gf

Musa's powers have a disco theme

She dresses hip-hop, she sings pop, her focus instrument is classical, and her attacks are disco

Musa is a woman of many talents

Icy: I don't know by the looks of things I think you could still beat us, even if your all split up

Is she being sarcastic?? Or sincere??

Good middle of the night Faragona, thank you for FINALLY doing something about these murderous bitches

I love how the whole school is out here sksjfjsn Musa woke them all up

Musa: hi Kiko.... I don't even know what to say except your such a good bunny

I'm crying 💗💓💞💓💘💓💞💓💝💓

Stormy: at least the weather is kinda nice tonight

It's always raining on Stormy's planet, confirmed

"thanks to you I just had the humiliation of being scolded by Griselda"

LMAO GRIFFIN IS SUCH A CHILD THAT SHE GETS SCOLDED BY GRISLEDA I LOVE IT

Shut up, I'm taking custody of Griselda from the writers, she's getting a character arc

I wonder where the Trix are gonna like....live from now??

OH HEY THE NEXT EPISODE IS THE ONE I BARELY PAID ATTENTION TOO YESS

EP 17:

The RF music played and I looked up expecting to see Riven doing something stupid.....that's what the RF theme means to me oml

These mfs are just beating the fuck out of eachother. I mean yeah?? But it's really funny

...d-dragons... You think??? You think because Bloom = Dragon, but not just any Dragon. Dragon god. That she can just??? Control them??????

They're having an exhibition....for their first and second years?????? Shouldn't this be for third and fourth years only?

Well maybe first and second years are excluded, and third, fourth, and fifth can go???? 5 year highschool??

Idfk

Stella: I completely trust our fairy flower child!

If she's letting Flora fuck with her hair then yes she does

"When it comes to your emotions Bloom, your an open book!"

Stella 🤝 Kiko

Call him dammit

If Sky gets replaced with Darcy in CT, he'd still need to be there in CT for the plot to work. Darcy only being able to slide in for the big moment

Still Sky would be confused as fuck

"Simple, their evil they get a kick out of hunting other people."

Propaganda!! Prop-Propaganda!!~

(I love that song)

Oh my god shit dick actually does have a picture of Dia in his room while he's talking to Bloom fkwbdnsjdns

Someone needs a redemption arc!

*re-tools s2 to be about Skloom ""drama"" (not the dumb and nonsensical kind) about him being a cheater trying to redeem himself*

Tbh I'm thinking that Riven and Musa don't go home for the summer so they have time to bond during those months, so I can move them getting together in s2 earlier than the season finale....and move Skloom back from the s1 finale to slightly before the s2 finale??? Bc trust isn't fixed that easily!!! You have to build it up as a friend first!! Then we can think about romance!!!

("what about the trust between Riven and Musa?" You might ask. Darcy is a lot more low key, so Musa never ends up chased and nearly murdered while evil!Riven doesn't do shit lol. That and Musa was one of the few people who realized that Riven wasn't acting like himself...she knew)

All of this while Stella and Brandon get back together at the s1 finale and just watch the shit show.... Brandon being a certified Sky apologist every now and then

Timmy.....knows....

Wait a fucking second, if Timmy knows about Dia he probably knows that Sky and Brandon swapped— TIMMY FUCKING KNEW THE WHOLE TIME?!

"about the girl that I've got to marry, I don't want to, I love Bloom!"

Honestly with the way that Sky dislikes Riven for being a dick to the people around him, and the way he grates against his parents, it absolutely isn't surprising that he doesn't like Diaspro who is 80% classism by volume

He feelings are definitely a little more complicated because they were literally raised together, and that level of having to rely on someone would mix things up, but this isn't surprising

The big problem is being a fucking coward that doesn't want to take responsibility for the bad things he does

Timmy: how about open and honest communication?

Sky: fake my own death, got it

Riven....heard....them talking....and THIS HE DIDN'T SNITCH TO DARCY ABOUT???

Oh my god Riven is such an ineffectual villain it's actually hilarious

Riven lying here like he didn't have a crush on Bloom for the first half of s1....ok

LMAO, several things:

1) Riven is so obviously lying it hurts. Like, Darcy has attempted to kill Bloom and they *go to different schools. Darcy don't know shit about Bloom

2) Riven has been around Bloom before. He knows this is dumb, he's well aware that no one who's meet Bloom before would believe this bullshit

3) Sky is well aware that Riven has a grudge against him and Bloom, and that everything he says will be heavily biased

4) Sky takes this shit PERSONALLY

Riven is terrible at coming up with real things to insult people over, and Sky doesn't understand the concept of not feeding trolls. This amazing

Imagine getting your ass beat by some one that believes in trickle down economics, I would never emotionally recover

Brandon literally dragging Sky off of Riven...... "Dude, we can't get another fuckin mark on our transcript—"

Brandon checking on Sky and Riven 👀

He's such a good guy, but also Brandon will see the most pathetic asshole in the room, sigh, and start dragging them to a better life while working on his apologetics

I'm not wrong!!!!

He does if for Riven both in the beginning of s1 and in s2, and he's always doing it for Sky

Brandon is one of those people who likes poor little meow meows

"you know after you've started dating Darcy, that woman that's attempted to murder us and Bloom multiple times, you've become a real pain"

Oh my god, Brandon is trying to convince Riven he's being manipulated and used... He's the only one here with a fucking brain. Brandon once again up for the "only man ever" award

Ok...points to Griffin for mastering the art of passive aggression, unfortunately Faragona is immune

MUSA'S FLUTE!!! EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SHES SO CUTE!!!!

Bloom is so...idk the word for it, but how adamant she is about breaking and entering is weird

The girls are like, fine, well help you break and enter

3d animation nfnendnsns ah

I know Erendor is supposed to be taller than Samara, but that's objectively wrong. Samara IS much taller than her manlit of a husband

I can't explain, she has the vibes of a tall person, and he has the ones of a short person

Diaspro looks like she's talking to that hologram of Sky...like a phone call. That's definitely unintentional

Dia is so fucking pretty, like goddamn, she's pretty

"And I absolutely forbid you form looking at my boyfriend."

Ok....excuse me Diaspro but wasnt the whole point that Sky and Brandon were told to switch identities because assassin??? We're you not informed of this??? Are you not putting his life in jeopardy by walking around with a picture of Sky and openly calling him your boyfriend???? Do you just not care??? None of this makes any sense love ❤️

"Honey? Are you listening to me?" UM. FUCKING WHAT??

THAT WAS A PHONE CALL?????

Are you telling me that Sky put it on mute and stood stock still so Bloom would assume he was just a picture??? AND IT WORKED?????

OH MY GOD

I had to take a break to stop laughing oh my fucking god these idiots

Bloom: Sky is a cheater?

Bloom: no! It's Darcy

I just—does Bloom not see her walking with royalty and official guards? Darcy would have to try REALLY HARD, to trick them. Just saying

Stella bragging about Brandon to the annoyance of Musa and Tecna my beloved

"There the richest royals in the whole dimension!"

Eraklyon is space Britain/Usa confirmed, with all the baggage that comes with that

"I still don't know if your heart beats more for your good looking prince, or the cash he's got"

Musa taking offense, for obvious (and kinda rightful) reasons

"Beauty is wasted If not surrounded by beautiful things!"

She take my money~ when I'm in neeeddd~

Diaspro is so fucking pretty I cannot get over how pretty she is, like goddamn

Diaspro just believes this random ass girl.....ok

God Dia looks good as hell with her cape

Fuck I'm sorry, I cannot shut up about how pretty she is

Why do one of the guards get to sit down

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IM LOSING MY MIND LOOK AT HER FACE

Bloom just knocks this man tf out

......Bloom is so steadfast in her convictions. Low self esteem in herself but a lot of confidence in her actions

BLOOM JUST FUCKING ATTACKED DIA NOOOOOOOO

DIA IS A BITCH BUT SHE WAS LITERALLY JUST STANDING THERE AND YOU NEARLY SET HER ON FIRE

Oh my god Dia is so classicist, she does need a good fight but not like this girlie, please

Timmy: please don't kill eachother in front of the audience

The dragons in this show never look how you expect dragons to look. Bitch that is a hydra with one head, I cannot explain

Why are they color coded

Omg I love my girls they're so fucking nosey. They won't even fly up do they can each see at once

Diaspro's transformation is very low key compared to her personality

She's looks so angry with this beautiful music, they don't understand Dia at all

Bloom: you know when Darcy transformed into Stella she couldn't change the color of her magic and she couldn't transformation

Bloom, watching Dia transform: obviously she just got better at it

Wouldn't it be fucked up if Bloom realized in that moment they Dia was, quite obviously, not Darcy but whoops now Dia is pissed and wants blood

Diaspro said FUCK MAGIC, ran up to Bloom and fucking grabbed her omg I love it here

Actually this spell Diaspro is using looks a lot like how Darcy kept Stella constrained......and Dia's magic seems to be purple. That would explain why Bloom doesn't realize

Ok but Diaspro is really not keeping this lie up at all

I think Dia's transformation is a little too close to her civilian form... Slight redesign might be necessary

Shouldn't the king and Queen be looking for Dia at this point

This is the only episode that understands that Sky and Riven are as petty as eachother

Riven says fuck it, imma get expelled. Ok this has got to be Darcy poking at him

These Dragons are like robots with Wii motion controls, I'm laughing incessantly

How the fuck did Dia and Bloom make it under the fucking arena????? Did they go down the stairs?? I'm crying

Riven: oh fuck yeah, a distraction

Sky: oh fuck no, the consequences of my actions

It looks like Dia has the twin ponytails that Musa has in her s4 fruity music bar look

"Goodness! This girl is nuts"

Tru, in all fairness, your also nuts

Brandon, watching this: ohhhhh, Sky is fucked

Sky is just standing there slack jawed as everything goes to shit is really funny

Diaspro really doesn't know that Sky and Brandon switched names?????? Did no one fucking tell her???? What the fuck is going on????

Sky walks past Dia and she looks so fucking upset, omg

Bloom just kinda collapses...

*Picks up Sky and shakes him around* I have a new pet meow meow, I can't believe there was another one right in front of my eyes and I never noticed

I stg the show says that it was the king and queen that set up the name change, but no one in this episode gives a flying fuck about keeping the ruse up

Brandon: you see what I mean when I say that your stupid shit gets ME in hot water

Riven probably has popcorn at this point

Stella is MADDDDD

Bro she's fucking growling

Bloom gets sad but Stella gets angry

Idk why s4 thinks Stella is slow to fight or doesn't get pissed. Yes she prefers to hide her negative emotions behind laugher and joy, but girl does anger hard when she feels like it

What do you mean when Sky needed help? You mean the Riven bullshit?

Brandon forgets that not everyone knows that Riven is pretty harmless

Stella: sooooo~ who's going to help me plan murder~

Musa: me!!! Me!!!!

Tecna: I already have a place to hide the bodies

Flora: no silly, let's just feed them to my plants 💚

EP 18:

"the one sure thing in her life wasn't real"

Don't fucking diss Stella like that

You think Stella has a revenge dress? Like?? It's fashion and spiteful. Not on the level of like what spawned the concept, but Stella would absolutely use clothes to make a point

It can be only boy shit that making her leave, probably the public embarrassment too

Stella is so angry on Bloom's behalf

Stella is either sad AF or angry AF and there is no in-between

Bloom wouldn't give up her dream that easily, but she'd absolutely make a split second decision to run away

I think transforming and magic in general has to take fuck ton of energy, bc that's the only reason these characters avoid it so hard. I need to see them losing magic in the middle of a fight to properly sell it tho

I can't believe she'd give up her friends over some fuck ass boy

BLOOM CAN TELEPORT?!

"You've made your choice and we respect your decision" everyone shut the fuck up I love Mike so goddamn much, he's a fucking dad y'all

Bloom should totally set her on fire

Bloom dress landscapes!!!!

Fragona acting like it's everyone's personal business what Bloom does. Like I know that she knows that Bloom is the main character, but no one else does bestie

Stella: then I'm going to bring her back!

Icy: she doesn't belong at Alfea, but she doesn't belong here either

Icy explaining the Domino plot before it even happens

Bloom channeling her inner chaos gremlin

The Trix attacked her parents. God this has got to be in the top ten most traumatizing things that has happened to Bloom. Period. End stament.

At this point, Bloom should be able to EASILY take Knut. Oh she did... Why didn't the Trix expect that

Do you think the earth people notice this?

That has got to be Darcy's powers....the vortex her parents are thrown into

Icy explaining everything...and for what? Actually, I think Icy just likes monologuing. She loves that energy

You know? After emotionally torturing her and nearly killing her parents....then repeatedly attacking her while she's down. I don't think any other villain would even approach the level of hatred and fear Bloom feels for the Trix in this moment. I think Valtor would come the closest (blinding Aisha for the fear, killing Daphne for the hatred), but it would be a little damped because that's the third time something like this has happened and this is the first so it would be more raw

Holy shit Bloom has been beaten unconscious and Icy is fucking grabbing at her, this is so creepy (but like in a good way that brings me into the story)

Icy is definitely a little obessed with Bloom and that makes their nemesis status so much scarier. Imagine the person that nearly killed you and your parents being obsessed with you???

Valtor's terrifying stalker connection with Bloom has nothing on Icy's obsession

Bloom goes though the batter with a new stalker every year in s1-3

Hyper empathy is annoying bc a children's show with the worlds worst writing will make me start crying

I cannot help myself!!! What the Trix (esp Icy) is doing to Bloom is just so awful, I need Bloom to get a hug stat

Ahhhh this is such good villain writing, I love the Trix as villains rn, and I also want to see Bloom get bloody revenge

Ok but Bloom having her powers physically ripped out her body must of been so painful

Top 5 most traumatizing days for Bloom right here

Bloomy ;-;

Ok but I am genuinely crying and it is very annoying, why am I like thisssss

EP 19:

They only took part of Bloom's power right? Bc Bloom can get back into Alfea

I love it when Flora has grumpy faces

Grisleda mind your fucking business

🥺 Grisleda being naturally scary but not intending to scare the girls 🥺🥺🥺 she made Bloom tea

This is the only version of Griselda, I have a character arc planned

Fragona: no I know

The LOOK Girselda gives Faragona when she admits that she's been a fucking lying liar to Bloom is impeccable

Grisleda is NOT impressed

Bloom is actually going to attack Fragona and I'm p sure Grisleda would let her

Faragona: OHHHHH, I've done fucked up

Fixing Griffins personality so she's an adult has to be one the first things I do jfc

Stormy is so fucking over board with her attacks. She's such an amazing villain, out of all of them she's the one I love to watch/hate the most. I root for her defeat and have fun watching her have fun and the same time

(OMG KAREN!! ONE OF MY FAVORITE WITCHES!!! 23:40!!! MY GIRL!!!)

Wait if Stormy = chaotic evil

Then does?

Icy = lawful evil

Darcy = neutral evil

Or

Icy = neutral evil

Darcy = lawful evil

????

I lean more towards the first one

Stormy is truly the best pure evil villain in this show. Icy is better for plot reasons, but Stormy's fun is just so contagious it's just fun to watch her

Griffin flinched away from the Trix after they threatened her students......Grisleda would never, anyways

Darcy is the one taking care of the army of decay....ok but what if Griffin is telling the truth, no one CAN control the army. It ends up controlling you. The Trix are blinded by hubris or something, and they were defeated before this could happen to them

Faragona: instead of sending a magic camera to CT, let's just wait

Sky repeatedly calling Bloom.....

It's dedicated at least, he could learn to read the room tho

THE ONE TIME RIVEN CHOOSES NOT TO JUST CONTACT DARCY MENTALLY

Tbh the show should of leaned into the Sky Riven rivalry to highlight how similar they are before the cheating this as like a little early warning system

Doesn't Riven know that the Trix have been kicked out

Riven is so loud, and agressive, motherfucker they have magic. Lighting hurts. Cool your jets

Riven: Attacking and nearly killing people is fine, but I draw the line at sitting on a teacher's desk

I think this is the only time Stormy does the nail slice thing and it's on Riven....they had to be some kind of friends while Riven was unaware

"you were fundamental to our success!" He was?

Did Darcy literally summon him here just so they could mock him and throw him into a dungeon??

Riven really thinks he can fight someone with magic

I'd decribe Darcy more as a spider than a snake

Disbursal magic like Musa's wouldn't be that effective, but incineration like Bloom and Stella would be

But, they'd have to be separated before they could be incinerated

That is all

Oh god thoese things are covering the school quickly..... They're not big enough to really hurt yet but that must be terrifying for the freshmen

Those fuckers definitely nearly killed someone, hopefully everyone could transform :(

"I'll teach you that next year" ok but Palladium my beloved????

FARAGONA WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN YOUR OFFICE

Cutting them apart should not do much of anything. You'd need to disintegrate the smaller ones

Her hair

How the fuck with Diaspro know that shit is going down at RF? If she does, them why aren't more planets reacting to this??? You'd think Solaria, and more, would send people to save their princes and princesses??? Right???

Was Dia just sticking around after everything to demand answers from Sky?

Dia really said "don't be silly, your a prince. Let these peasants fight for you!" Like she doesn't live in the magical dimension

Diaspro just glares and leaves hmm

Anyways why isn't the whole magical dimension reacting to this? The Trix must of done something to outer planet communication right?

They'd probably attack the magical cell towers and electricity plants to stop people from escaping

Teleportation is a high level skill and they're had to be a military on magix's but they're probably more concerned with saving the city that the Trix are also attacking than the schools

OH!!

Unless the Trix isolate the magical schools???

EP 20:

They should really plan to consolidate troops

Knut: this is no place for us anymore

.....and what, pray tell, made you finally realize that?

Darcy would absolutely treat the army of bugs like her children

Why is Fragona not addressing the whole school?

"and that makes them utterly invincible!"

Bloom defeats Icy with only her magic Winx. She gets Enchantix later. Icy technically isn't that strong rn

This could be adequately addressed by each of the Trix needing multiple people to take them done (one taking on the full Winx club + Griselda, one being taken on by Griffin + Faragona + Saladin, ect) something like that

Fragonda is just guessing at this point

Important question, but why aren't they consolidating power between schools? RF and Alfea should be moving together rn

Bloom must be having an emotional moment here on Domino

Bloom hugging Tecna, "oh Tecna your so great", we love it

Are the Trix fucking with the girls on Domino??

Knut...how are you just realizing this

These schools have barely any students, these are some tiny ass schools

My favorite part about Winx is that it's actually hard to do spot the main character bc all of the background characters look weird as fuck too

Brandon looks a bit like an extra compared to most of these guys

Why doesn't Knut work at RF if that was the first place he thought to go

Why didn't they bring out the dragons sooner....why were the dragons just left in there

Icy made a ice dragon....dragon fire maybe doesn't inherently mean fire powers?

These girls will do anything before transformation

omg little heart shapes!!!!

[souryogurt64]

fuck billie joe armstrongs shitty kid for tweeting there was gonna be a MCR reunion and ruining it for so many of us. yeah people had their theories or whatever but its the place of fans to figure that out from clues and have fun with the mystery of it and hope. its not the place of billie joe armstrongs rich bully spoiled brat to tweet that out and snicker about spoiling it for his 15 year old fans because his daddy told him.

it was something very very small and insignificant but it just showed how little they understood what being in a band is about and how little respect they had for the magic/story/creativity aspect. and how all they cared about was abusing every iota of clout for “tea.”

like its so small and pointless and not many people saw the tweet or paid attention to it but it gets my blood pressure going. the attitude of it makes me so mad. they thought it was so funny to use their privilege and connections to spoil an artistic endeavor a massive and much more respected rock band was planning for nearly a decade.

like the entire breakup of the band, their last song, gerards comic, the new concept album, the branding, so much work into this story about a fallen saint rising from the ashes because that creative aspect and fictional world and story is so important to kids in their target demographic that need something to escape into and believe in. and swmrs didnt give a shit at all. so many other people in the industry and other nepotism probably knew and kept their fucking mouths shut because NOBODY behaved as egregiously as swmrs did. to be honest, swmrs were probably not intelligent enough to comprehend the concept they were going for in the first place because the best they can come up with is fucking april in houston.

and thats why mcr is so successful, because they have that magic and are so committed to the bit and the art. so many people have worked on this for so many years. and instead of learning from that they ruined the big surprise for a bunch of kids and tee-hee about how “i know something you dont!!! my rich daddy told me!!!! my daddys rich so i can piss all over art!!! ha ha!! i can ruin christmas for a bunch of 15 year old girls because im a big big man in a rock band!!!” just because they could. ALSO fuck cole becker personally for rolling his eyes at mcr and saying it makes him cringe and you can outgrow something like that. GROW UP.

and im sure theyd roll their eyes if someone told them the tweet wasnt cool because “its just a joke bro its no big deal dude!!! it was just a joke bro!!” like using your fanbase to bully joeys teenage ex was “just a joke bro!! its just twitter tea!!! its a tweet its not a big deal!!” with time ive come to realize swmrs made their bed and were already lying in it before anything ever happened because of that attitude. theyll whine and cry about the literal teenage Carolinas Ultimate Netflix Tweet that ruined joeys life and career forever like she even mattered. gerard is friends with jimmy fucking urine and pete wentz is who he is and brendon urie is he who is and matty healy is who he is and machine gun kelly is who he is they will have careers forever because they understand the bare minimum of artistic integrity.

[soobasaur]

are you mine?

— a lee minho au

genre: enemies to lovers minho x gender neutral!reader

a/n: this is for my bestie who has been in a minho obsession lately and needs more content, you know who you are :]

« masterlist

you and minho didnt exactly,,,get along very well for a while

the only reason you both even knew each other was two of your best friends were dating and merged ur friend groups

(thanks a lot binsung 〴⋋_⋌〵)

you wouldnt go as far as to say you hated him

but you liked to pretend you did

you just barely saw him around so why not just mke him your mortal enemy??

it was easier to hate him then admit he was decent company!!

you had a reputation to uphold!!!!

and apparently he did too because he never really disagreed,,,,

you guys just ever had a chance to get off on the right foot and really talk

mutual disagreement <33

the thing is, the both of you were never left alone together

like ever

until that one time yall were abandoned (-д-；)

you and ur friend groups planned a hang out but everyone ended up cancelling last minute with no excuse

it was just you two who didnt get the memo and ended up alone

now that you think about it,,,that sounds like smth ur friends would do on purpose

(again, fuck u binsung!! ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ )

so just picture this,,,you and minho both showing up to an arcade and sitting in silence for an hour before getting a text that everyone cancelled

your immediate thought was to go home bc why would minho want to hang out with you???

but after the both of you read the text in the groupchat he got up and made his way inside, holding the door open and quirking his eyebrow up at you

“well, are you coming or not? I wanna try the new vr game.”

and you were just like \\(⊙︿⊙)// ???

he? wants?? to hang out??? with just you????

but u ended up following him in and he paid for your guy’s tickets ≧◡≦

“just buy me lunch after and we’re even”

lunch??? now this mf wants to get lunch together?!$%

you learned one thing about minho that day

he was,,,competitive,,VERY competitive

like what demon possessed him kind of competitive

whenever he won he would flash you a smirk and skip to the next game as he dragged his row of tickets along

it INFURIATED U!!!

ur pride was in shambles

so you unleashed everything after that and won a good amount of games ;)

u had been eyeing a cute cat plush the entire time but u didnt have enough tickets at the end :((

o(╥﹏╥)o damn it capitalism u just wanted a plushie

you didnt rlly want anything else so you gave your tickets to minho and waited to the side for him to get his prize

he came out with tHE SAME PLUSHIE YOU HAD BEEN EYEING \\( ಠ_ಠ)//

but before you could sulk about it he handed it to you and started to make his way to the exit Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

and during lunch this bitch ended up paying even after saying you should (｀ε´)

\(▰˘◡˘▰)//\\ (▰˘◡˘▰)//\\ (▰˘◡˘▰)// \\(▰˘◡˘▰)//

After that...hang out if you will,,u started to notice minho everywhere

LIKE E V E R Y W H E R E

why was this bitch all over your college campus?

you never noticed minho was in ur class for the longest time jsskkfk

like all of a sudden u just spotted him out of the corner of ur eye and were like o h

once he noticed you too there was no going back

say good bye to paying attention in class

(as if you ever did anyways)

he started to inch closer to you during class

he even started sending you notes

ಠ▃ಠ and u were so paranoid the professor would catch you

but this bitch was slick so u were fine

ヽ(๏∀๏ )ﾉ

he was the type of guy to throw little crumpled sticky notes at you whenever he wanted to say something during class

they’d be covered with doodles of cats and his scribbly messy handwriting + little hearts

it was usually just some dumb thought he had or a crude drawing of the professor (. ﾟーﾟ)

other than those few notes you guys never really talked outside ur friend group

there was one incident late at night tho

you had a big project coming up and it was 2am and you were...2 sentences in T_T

you deserved a coffee break <3

so that was how you found under the awning of an all night coffee shop

except it wasn't all night and closed right after you got ur coffee!!

and now u were stuck under the awning!!

all you had was your measly hoodie that you stole from changbin and your now soggy cup of coffee as you waited for the rain to pass

you might as well of just stayed home since ur wasting all this time you could’ve been working on your project standing outside

were you gonna work on the project once you got home? no

but did the thought of wasted time still make you mad? yes

you slumped against the shop as you bitterly drank your coffee, crushing the cup between your hands

after a couple minutes you felt the rain above you stop

you look to your side to see,,,minho?!

this mf was holding an umbrella above your head

“here, take my umbrella.”

thats when you noticed the cafe uniform he had on

“you work here?” you asked, before taking the umbrella from his hand

“yeah, your observant ass didnt see me literally make your coffee,”

“oh whoops,,,i thought you hated me, why are you giving me our umbrella?”

“i do, but id rather you uh...not die in the cold looking like a dead rat.”

was it just you or were his cheeks dusted pink?

probably the cold

(y/n you dumb bitch-)

you both walk back to your dorms after that

and he insists you carry the umbrella

cus his poor arms are tired from making coffee all day :((

and maybe it's an excuse to be closer to you

since hes a bit taller he has to crouch and scoot closer to you in order to not get wet >_<

⊙﹏⊙ ⊙﹏⊙ ⊙﹏⊙

over the next few weeks your find urself at the cafe he works at more often

one time you got the hours wrong and he wasnt on shift :(

but when you got up to leave he walked in and spent the day helping you study instead of working

you went for the coffee!! not for him!! definitely not,,,

(¬‿¬)

“look, im only hanging out with you cus you get the employee discount.”

“sure, and not cus you enjoy my company-”

“i 100% despise your company.”

ok but u didnt

u actually /REALLY/ liked his company

like WTF

where has he been all ur life

ew that sounded too romantic

but like fr where was he hiding

(・ε・｀)

soon you both were joining binsung on their dates

but it wasn't a double date!!

it was just four friends hanging out and two happened to be a couple

and they liked to hang out at fancy restaurants and do couple like activities

totally normal!!

there was one incident where you were about to pay for your meal but minho placed his hand on top of yours and slid his card instead

“you can pay on the next date.”

NEXT? DATE??

excuse me sir what do u mean-

you ignored changbin and jisung’s snickers behind you the entire night

when minho walked you home you couldnt help but let urself blurt out

“was this a date?”

minho gave you an incredulous look

“...was it not??”

oh my god this is embarrassing

“OH MY GOD WAS IT NOT?!!”

you ignored how minho was now turning crimson red and panicking and tugged on his collar, pulling him down for a kiss

“it was...a date” you mumble, now shy at the close proximity between the two of you

“...im gonna kill jisung.” he muttered, pulling you in for a hug, “he told me this was a double date”

“that can be our next date, the murder of our best friends.”

“wow i am in love with you.”

＼（＾○＾）人（＾○＾）／

minho and y/n murder besties!!

for legal reasons that is a joke

( ˶˘ ³˘(˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)♡

thank you for reading !!

[9tzuyu]

sad beautiful tragic

here’s another part to my taylor swift series

warnings: kinda angsty, nats kinda mean :(

thank you moli for proofreading <3

🏷: @natasha-danvers @yelenabelovasgf @blackxwidowsxwife @c-is-writing @peggycarter-steverogers @kermy48 @nermalina

fighting with natasha was never short. some arguments would last a few days, weeks, and sometimes they would carry on for a month. communication wasn’t yours or natasha’s strongest suits.

it never mattered what went wrong or who said what because somehow you always ended up back together. natasha would hold you in her arms and tell you how sorry she was while you did everything you could think of to help her around the house.

but somewhere along the way, things began to blur. you weren’t really sure what caused the argument this time, but it carried more weight than anything you felt before. all you wanted was for natasha to spend some time with you. it wasn’t like you were demanding or hounding her about it. all you would do was ask if she wanted to go out or watch a movie together occasionally.

natasha paid no attention though, always mumbling on about work and how much she had to get done. so you left it at that.

however, three months later you were well beyond exhausted. natasha hardly ever slept with you, constantly asked you to do things you’d already done, paying no mind to all the extra stuff you accomplished. nothing was good enough for the redhead and you were beginning to feel like you weren’t good enough for her.

so you made it your mission to fix yourself while she was away. you were determined to be everything she could ever ask for by the time her month long business trip was over.

you changed your hair color, toned your body and even switched out your wardrobe to fit to something natasha might like.

with hardly any contact between the two of you, you were sure your new transformation would surprise nat. and despite the fact that natasha hardly ever called or texted you anymore, you were still so hopeful things would be different.

they were not.

the day natasha came home you had the house cleaned up and her favorite meal served on a plate waiting for her at the table.

all you had to do now was wait. and wait. and wait.

six hours later and you had tears streaming down your face while natasha complained about how much food you made.

“it’s not fucking thanksgiving, why the hell did you make so much?” she scoffed, throwing the metal fork in her hand towards the sink. the sound caused you to jump. “you know what, it doesn’t even matter. stop crying and go to bed. you shouldn’t have even waited for me.”

“nat?”

“what?” she gritted, knuckles white as she gripped the counter. “you could at least face me, tasha-”

natasha rolled her eyes. “quit with the nicknames. you aren’t three years old.”

“i’m sorry i-”

“and your hair looked better before. whatever you did to it now really isn’t a look you should be going for.” she cut you off once more before shoving past you and making her way into the very same room you’d been sleeping alone in for the past month.

you didn’t bother cleaning up or changing clothes that night – rather staying up and trying to muffle your cries.

it was crazy how the person who made you feel the most beautiful could be the very same person who took that, stomped on it, and completely destroyed it within a matter of seconds.

your love for her no longer felt safe and secure. if anything, it felt like natasha was shoving you into the ground with her boot, smearing you down as she mocked you from above.

the next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache. you got up from the couch to see natasha cooking breakfast for herself.

you didn’t know it was possible to feel so much heartbreak over such a little thing.

thats when you remembered all the mornings you spent dancing around in the kitchen, pancake batter marking your shirt as natasha tried to steal kisses from your lips. she was warm. and so in love with you.

but staring at natasha now, plate of eggs in front of her, deliberately ignoring your presence, gave you the final push you needed.

“i’m breaking up with you.”

green eyes snapped up to meet yours. natasha could tell you were trying so hard to hold your ground. she scoffed, borderline laughing to herself.

“what are talking about?”

you swallowed back a cry. “i want you out of here within the hour.”

“oh come on now, y/n-”

“no!” you snapped. “you don’t get to say anything. you’ve stepped all over me, taken everything i’ve done for you for granted and treated me like i didn’t have any value. i’m done, natasha. you broke me.”

you gave her one final glance, but even then natasha showed no emotion on her face. there was no point in trying to fight for something that wasn’t there. you’d finally given up.

“please be out of here before 12. and please don’t make things difficult.” she nodded and went back to eating her breakfast as if nothing happened.

when you entered the kitchen hours later you were surprised to see the dishes neatly put away in the cabinets.

“good to know you still had the decency to clean up after yourself this time,” you mumbled to yourself.

you were just about to leave and turn off the light when an off white envelope left on the table caught your eye.

‘i’m sorry.’ was written on the back of the envelope in natasha’s cursive handwriting.

you knew better than to read it – and you knew better than to walk over to it, but you ignored your brain and followed your heart.

halfway through the letter you cursed yourself for not throwing the damn thing away. her apology was real, sincere – at least that’s what it felt like anyway.

the thought of giving her another chance flashed through your mind, but you could never have what you had.

[literaila]

this undeniable irritable space

spencer reid x reader 

this is part 2 to space, which is about a “clingy” reader and a spencer with a need for “space”

and you should probably read that first.. but um you dont have to i guess? if you dont want to? 

warnings: angst. lots of angst. spencers really angsty. really really. um.. theres a panic attack so if thats triggering please dont read please. its really rushed, and a lot longer than planned. so? sorry if it sucks. enjoy.

“I love her.” 

Insecurities were hard to shake. 

Y/N had always had that problem. The things that she despised about herself stuck to her skin like germs. Germs that crawled up her neck and into her mouth and under her skin until they were so far back, so deep inside that she couldn't reach them. 

She couldn't get Spencer's words out of her head. 

They had talked it out. Spencer reassured her that he loved touching her, that he wanted to feel her hand in his, any opportunity he got. They had decided that what had happened turned out to be a miracle in disguise because now neither of them were afraid. Touching was the way they loved each other, and there weren't any boundaries left. 

That didn't mean that Spencer's words just drifted off into the abyss. 

Now they seemed even more stuck to Y/N skin, implanted into her thoughts. Y/N knew that she shouldn't care about what he said, he had repeatedly shown her how much he loved touching her in the couple of days that had passed. He made sure to kiss her any opportunity he could, they were constantly cuddling, whether that be in bed while making dinner, on the couch watching a movie, in the shower. There were no limits to their constant clinginess. Both of them loved it, and they couldn't get enough. 

But that didn't mean that there wasn't any fear. 

Y/N worried that Spencer had just said all of that as to not hurt her feelings, that in reality he didn't like touching her, and he just wanted to make her happy because that's who he is, he never wanted to disappoint anyone, always wanted the best for the people he loved. 

It was one of the things Y/N loved most about him, one of the things that drew her to him in the first place, she could see how much he loved all his teammates just by the way he paid attention to them, by the way, he knew exactly how everyone liked their coffee, by the way, he always made sure to thank Garcia anytime she did anything to help, by the way, he always checked on Derek after a case, to make sure it hasn't affected him too badly. Spencer showed it by loving JJ and Henry constantly, he showed it by making sure Hotch wasn’t the last one in the office every night, by listening to Rossi and adding on when he thought it was appropriate. Spencer showed his constant love for everyone around him every day. It was what made him so approachable. 

But it also caused Y/N a lot of worries. 

She was worried he was so focused on making everyone- making her- happy that he wasn't giving himself the things he needed. She didn't want Spencer to let her cuddle him and kiss him and love him just to make her happy, she didn't want him to pretend to be comfortable even if he wasn't. 

So she watched him.

She hoped he didn't notice the way she watched him. 

She was constantly looking for a wince, a little second glance, an uncomfortable smile, an irritated look, anything that would prove that what she was doing was wrong. 

Apparently, her profiling skills aren't up to scratch though because she didn't see anything out of the ordinary. 

Though there was still a tiny part of her that couldn't believe it, just couldn't accept it, she had to keep searching, she wasn't going to miss anything like she did the last time. 

“Sometimes though- I just- I want some space”

***

Spencer wasn't oblivious. 

Obviously. 

He was a genius, and he was prone to remembering things. Which means he noticed when Y/N started watching him. He saw the way she was more cautious in touching him, the way she watched his face more, the way she closed her eyes every time he held her like she was afraid it would be the last time. 

He felt terrible. 

The things he had said should have never affected their relationship, they were never meant to affect their relationship. In all honesty, he had only said them as a way to vent, as a way to blame something about how stressed he was feeling. And Y/N should have never heard any of it. 

It was a ridiculous thing to say anyway as if Spencer could ever live without constantly feeling the warmth and reassurance in Y/N touch. 

She wasn't mad, she had made that much clear, but Spencer still couldn't help but worry that she was still upset about what he had said. He was still upset about it so how couldn’t she be? 

The hesitation, the crease in her brows when they were millimeters apart, the way she was trying to find the truth in his eyes every time she looked at him, it all made him feel a million times worse. 

But there was something about tonight. Tonight was making it worse. 

The team had decided to go out together, happy to have a break from dead bodies and insane people. It wasn't rare for them to go out, especially after a hard case, it was strange though that they’d had multiple days off in a row. When Emily had suggested going to one of the bars close to the office as a way to keep the streak going, no one had protested. They all seemed a bit happier. 

Of course, the night had been spent checking their phones constantly and talking about their jobs, but that also wasn't unusual. 

Spencer was having a difficult time though. Y/N and he had spent their days at the office going over paperwork and sneaking glances at each other from their desks and spent their nights cuddling and making out, laughing while making dinner and savoring as much time together as possible. In some weird way they seemed closer now, but even more afraid. Neither of them mentioned it though, both of them trying to avoid as much confrontation as possible. 

But what made Spencer's night difficult was touching. 

Derek, Penelope, and Y/N had all decided to make their way to the small makeshift dance floor in the middle of the room- after a few drinks of course- and while Y/N had dragged Spencer out too because there was no way she was going to let him just sit back and watch, he had eventually made his way back to the table where Emily, JJ, Hotch, and Rossi were sat content. 

But he couldn't keep his eyes off of her, the way she laughed at both Derek and Garcia, the way her eyes were lit up in happiness, the gentle sway of her hips as she danced to the beat... And the way her face was thrown back and glowing under the dimmed lights of the Bar. 

She was beautiful. 

There were lots of other eyes on her as well, both men and women staring directly at her, all of them never wanting to look away. It didn't seem like she noticed or she just didn't care, because usually, she wasn't prone to direct spotlight. Either way, she was the catch of the night. 

Spencer didn't care about the eyes on her, while he was known to get jealous from time to time, he didn't mind the eyes, they only proved that she was gorgeous, and all his. He knew that. 

What Spencer did mind though, was the touching. Both, Derek and Garcia, touching her, freely, her touching back, freely. It wasn't jealousy, Spencer was well aware that neither Derek nor Garcia had any interest in being with Y/N, and even if they did Spencer knew that Y/N was happy with him. It was the way she didn't mind touching them, and they didn't mind touching her. 

There was no hesitation in her eyes when she threw her arms around Derek's neck and swayed her hips with him. There wasn't any searching when she looked him in the eyes, just laughter, and joy. When Garcia wrapped her arms around Y/N waist and bopped her head with her, Y/N didn't make any move to check to see if Garcia's body language was off. 

She was so carefree with them, so happy, never scared. 

It only seemed to make Spencer feel worse. Because she wasn't carefree like that with him, she had to check to make sure he was comfortable with her wrapping her arms around him, she had to check his eyes for any hint of anything but happiness, she couldn't just touch him without checking first. And it was all his fault. 

He wished there was a way to take back his words, to simply erase them from existing. He wished she hadn't heard him, he wished that he could have said anything else. Because touching was her way of loving, and he knew that. He knew that she showed her passion and appreciation with her body, with her warm hands, and strong arms, with her legs that were never too far from his. He’d always known that she loved touching others. And the words that came out of his mouth, the stupid words he’d blurted out about space, they were untrue, they were just an attack on her and himself. And they had ruined the carefree way she loved him. 

He wished she wasn't afraid to show her love for him. 

Spencer sat back in his chair with a glare in his eyes and a frown on his face, angry at himself, but never angry at her. 

“Reid?!” Rossi said, louder than the first two times he had called his name and Spencer didn't seem to notice. 

Spencer looked over at the four of them his face not wavering from the angry expression he had. 

“Woah, Kid. You alright? With the look on your face, we might be profiling you as our next unsub.” 

Spencer could tell they were profiling him, and he could see Emily look behind him as if she knew something he didn't. “Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking did you know that around 1.7 million people visit the emergency room due to assault and-” 

It seemed that the only thing he could do was take his mind off of it. And annoy his coworkers. 

***

There was something off with Spencer. Y/N had noticed it yesterday, after leaving with Penelope to get lunch. She couldn't tell what was wrong, but he seemed to have a frown on his face more often than not. And she figured she could just be blowing it out of proportion, maybe she had just seen him smiling so much in the last couple of days she wasn't used to seeing him without a grin or a smirk or a genuine smile. 

Still, something seemed off. 

He was mostly fine at home, he never looked upset when they were doing something, but as soon as she left the room and came back the frown was there. It always disappeared quickly, but it still concerned her. 

She asked him about it before they had left for the bar, “Is something up baby?” she had said, but he just shook his head and turned around so she couldn't see his face. She tried to pretend that was a normal answer. 

Now usually they talked out their problems, usually, they didn't have any problems at all. But not having problems means you don't stay used to talking them out, and it seemed that both of them were out of practice. 

When they got to the bar, both of them were happy, hand in hand sitting down with their friends and enjoying yet another night off. The bar was warm and familiar to all of them, and they were all perfectly comfortable. 

As the night when on Spencer seemed more and more upset. He never said anything weird, never did anything unusual that tipped Y/N off. But that small frown was still on his face, and he seemed less and less inclined to join in the conversation with all of them. 

It wasn't really bad until Y/N had come back from dancing with Penelope and Derek, all of them sweaty and exhausted, ready to down another beer or two. Spencer had tried to smile at Y/N but knowing him as well as she did, it was clearly forced. And she could see the closed-off look in his eyes, almost as if he was looking right through her.

She patted his leg and offered him a hesitant smile, hoping her eyes were conveying the message she was trying to send to him. He only looked at her though, still wearing the same fake smile. 

Y/N wondered if something had happened while she was on the other side of the bar if someone had said something, or he had remembered something. But Spencer never said anything so neither did she. 

The rest of the team were smiling and laughing, and none of them seemed to notice Spencer's closed-off body language and the look in his eyes, and the small frown, so Y/N figured she was just making it up. Her insecurities were just getting the best of her and telling her there was something wrong. 

Like they always did. 

Though she did try to keep the touching to a limit, if Spencer was feeling off there was more of a chance he didn't want to be bothered or touched. The insecurity telling her he didn't want to be touched, only seemed to get louder, voicing its opinion, and making her sit her legs leaning away from him, her thoughts filled with not making him uncomfortable. 

***

As the night went on Spencer was the same, frowning, distant, and closed off, And as the night went on Y/N stayed the same, cautious, worried, insecure. 

Their moods seemed to compliment each other, almost as if one of them was upset the other one had to be as well. 

Both of them hoped everything would be fine when they got home. 

Clearly, the entire team was trying to keep in their yawns, trying to keep the conversation alive, but Garcia looked practically dead, and everyone was speaking in a whisper. 

The bar had cleared out, with only some young college kids still out at two in the morning. When Hotch pointed that out and then said that they all looked too old to be counted as a college kid- which Rossi took offense to making the rest of the team laugh- they decided to call it a night. 

Derek had to practically drag Garcia off of the table she was drooling on, and Y/N helped him get her in the car. JJ and Emily decided to share a cab home, both of them waving everyone goodbye before heading off. Rossi and Hotch both reassured that everyone would be alright before getting into their cars and going home. Derek kissed Y/N on the cheek and pretended to kiss Spencer before driving Garcia home. 

When it was just Spencer and Y/N, Y/N looked at him and asked “Are you going to drive, or am I?” Spencer, whose eyes looked even more tired than usual, smiled at her- for real this time which Y/N noted- and said, 

“Legally I don't think you’re allowed to drive.” 

Y/N yawned and handed him the keys, too tired to come up with a snarky response. 

They both got in the car, basking in the warmth the heater provided on a cold night. Y/N laid her head against the seat while Spencer put the car in drive, so they could head home. 

It wasn't long before Y/N fell asleep. Lulled by the quiet engine and dark night. 

Spencer fonded at her, listening to her soft breathing and smiling silently to himself. Sometimes, he thought, he wished it was just the two of them forever. It seemed that if he could just spend the rest of his life alone with her everything would be alright. Everything was always alright when he was alone with her. 

It was a short drive to their apartment, and while Spencer was hesitant to wake her, he knew that sleeping in the car wasn't good for avoiding exhaustion, and he wanted to know she was safe in bed with him. 

He carefully opened her door, running his thumb over her cheek, before gently picking her up bridal style, and feeling thankful they lived on the first floor of the apartment complex so he didn't have to carry her up the stairs. 

It was hard for him to keep his eyes off her sweet face as he walked to their door, but he didn't want to drop her so he managed to. He unlocked the door, surprised he could even do it with her in his arms. What he didn't notice was her eyes carefully opening and staring at him. 

“You’re so striking.” 

Spencer quickly looked down at her, his steps halted in their living room, shaking her only slightly, he was surprised by her words, he was surprised that she was even awake. 

He cleared his throat trying to not look so surprised, while she giggled at him. “T-thank you, I didn't realize you were awake, I wanted to let you sleep.” 

Y/N yawned, bringing her hand to her mouth, then looked back up at him smiling while he opened the door to their room, “I know” she said, keeping her eyes on his soft face. 

He gently laid her down in bed, gestured for her to stay there while he headed to their closet. Y/N thought about the way he was so gentle with her, and the way he didn't look as upset as earlier. 

Spencer brought her some pajamas and helped her change into them, having already changed into his, Y/N couldn't help but almost fall asleep while he did this, she knew that he would take care of her, and she felt so safe with him and so tired. 

Spencer smiled at her, kissed her forehead before moving around the bed to get to his side. 

“Spencer?” he heard softly from three feet away. 

“Yes?” he said only slightly louder than Y/N. 

There was a slight pause before she said “I missed you tonight.” in only a whisper. 

“I was with you Y/N…” Spencer felt her move closer to him, cuddling into him and resting her cheek on his arm as to use it as a pillow. He almost thought she was asleep before she made a quiet sound and shook her head, her breathing slowing down and her face blank. 

Watching her, Spencer knew that, even if he didn't want to, he needed to talk to her. 

***

The next morning, Y/N had slept amazing, and Spencer had only gotten a few hours. 

He couldn't stop thinking about what to say to Y/N without making her feel bad or making himself seem like the victim. 

For a genius, he was terrible at being in a relationship. 

When he wasn't thinking he was staring at Y/N cuddled upon his arm, her breaths constantly reminding him how much he needed and appreciated her. 

And when Y/N woke up she could tell there was still something off. There was a feeling in the room, a feeling she didn't like. The anxiety that was building up in her chest was causing her to panic, it felt like a rope was being tied over her lungs getting pulled tighter and tighter the longer the silence went on. Spencer wasn't in the room, his side of the bed wasn't made, and there was something wrong. 

This time Y/N knew there was something wrong, she could feel it when she breathed in trying to provide any relief to her chest. She could feel it when she stood up and felt her body sway, her eyes going blurry then black and when she had to sit back down. She could feel it again when she stood up without feeling lightheaded and felt goosebumps all over her skin. She felt it when she stepped out of their room, not finding Spencer in the bathroom, and saw him sitting down at the table. 

Everything was fine yesterday she thought, why was she freaking out, everything was fine yesterday they were smiling and laughing and they cuddled. Everything was fine yesterday she couldn't be freaking out today because everything was still fine. 

She couldn't get the air to her lungs. 

Spencer didn't notice her. 

She could feel the tears pricking in her eyes, reminding her how weak she was, reminding her of all the panic attacking her body. She could felt the rope get tighter. 

Her eyes got blurry as the tears she tried hard to keep in got bigger. 

She was standing in the middle of the room, freaking out, trying so hard to be quiet, trying so hard to not cry, trying so hard to just breathe. She just needed to breathe. If she could breathe she would be fine. 

And that was when Spencer noticed her. 

He figured she wouldn't be up for a couple more hours at least, while he knew he wasn't going to get much sleep, he knew that she would need a lot more than him. So he got up, he didn't want to wake her up with his relentless moving, and his restless thoughts. 

He thought she’d be asleep for a couple more hours. 

But his girlfriend was standing in the doorway of their room, her face frozen her eyes wide, her entire body looked like it was closing in on itself, and she was desperately holding on to the doorway like it was the only way to keep herself up. 

She looked terrified. 

He had no idea what had happened. 

Spencer got up, almost knocking the chair over with how quickly he moved, and going over to her, trying to take in everything that was in front of him. 

Y/N couldn't stop the tears from flowing down her face, and as Spencer grabbed her face, she gasped trying to grab onto the air she knew was right in front of her face. It didn't work. She tried again, and again and again, she was breathing in and out with so much force Spencer could hear her voice catch every time. 

She was having a panic attack. 

She couldn't breathe. 

Y/N could see Spencer's lips moving, but the rope was pulling tighter and tighter and all she wanted was to breathe, she just wanted to feel the air in her lungs, she just wanted the rope to stop pulling, to stop pulling pulling her away and she just wanted to listen to Spencer, and she didn't know what was wrong with her but she couldn't 

breathe 

And everything was blurry, and she could feel the tears running down her face, and she felt like she was suffocating from the inside out and suddenly she was on the floor. 

Spencer helped her sit down, trying to talk to her, trying to figure out what was wrong, trying to understand.

He moved her head between her knees, needing her to stop hyperventilating, if he could get her breathing then he could figure out how to help her more. 

It broke his heart to see her so scared, to see her eyes look so terrified, to feel so helpless with no way to help. He watched the tears run down her face over and over, and he tried to wipe them away but it was pointless because she couldn't stop crying. 

She was still hyperventilating, still trying to breathe, still trying to listen, still still still

And then she was asleep. 

***

Y/N was fine when she woke up. Spencer had freaked out when she went unconscious, had checked her pulse over and over again looking for any sign that something was wrong. 

But within a minute her heart had slowed down and her body had stopped shaking. 

She was fine. 

When she woke up, her eyes were sore and everything seemed loud. 

Spencer explained to her that she had had a panic attack, he explained that she had fainted, but she was alright, you’re alright he assured her. 

“I think your body was building up stress, I think you needed some sort of release from all the stress, I’m not really sure but everything is normal now, do you feel alright? Is something wrong? Do we need to go to the hospital? I need you to tell me you’re alright-”

This went on for a while, and Y/N told Spencer she was okay over and over again until he finally stopped freaking out. 

They sat in silence for a while. 

It was silent until Spencer decided to speak up again. 

“Y/N... What happened?”

That was a loaded question. And it took her a minute to answer, Spencer watched as she stared at the wall before finally speaking. 

“I could feel something wrong when I woke up. And- and-” she paused and swallowed trying not to cry at the memory “You were gone, and I just could feel something wrong and so I started worrying- and… I’m not really sure what happened after that.” 

As soon as she was finished Spencer intervened. 

“I couldn't sleep. I couldn't sleep last night and I didn't want to wake you so I went to go think somewhere else. I’m sorry I wasn't there.” 

“No Spence, it's not your fault, just a lot of anxiety is all.” 

Spencer's eyes were on her face, his hands holding hers, trying to make her feel better, trying to make it all better. They both knew there was something wrong. 

“Anxiety about what?” He asked quietly, only a whisper, still looking right at her.

“I-” Y/N tried to think, tried to come up with a good way to explain, tried to come up with something that would help him understand. And eventually, she decided to just tell him the truth. “There's been something wrong, yesterday, I could tell there was something wrong, and when I woke up and I felt bad, I was worried, mostly about you and I just” she paused, finally looking at Spencer, “I think we need to talk.” 

Spencer swallowed hard, and nodded, looking down at the floor. They both just sat there for a minute, thinking, just thinking. Neither of them knew how to start but they both knew someone had to. 

Eventually, Spencer took the risk. “I don't think we talked enough last week… about what happened. I think we both just- decided? That everything was alright but I think we need to talk some more?” 

“Yeah- yes. We do.” 

Spencer got up off the bed, pulled her hand up gently and, moved her with him to the couch. He said he was going to make some tea, and get her some pain medication, and then they would finally talk. 

***

“I’m- I’m not really sure where to start.” Y/N said looking down at her coffee mug. 

Spencer sighed “I think I need to start with I’m sorry.” Y/N made a noise and started to talk but Spencer interrupted “No, really Y/N. What I said wasn't meant to hurt you, I never want to hurt you, but I did. And I’m sorry.” 

“Spence, it's not your fault, honestly I know I wasn't supposed to hear, and I know you didn't actually mean it, we talked about it last week-” 

“But that's the thing, if we had really talked about it last week like actually talked about it, you wouldn't be scared to touch me.” He looked at Y/N, almost as if he was daring her to disagree. 

Y/N was surprised, and she stammered out “I’m- I'm not scared to touch you!”. 

Spencer stared at her, his face blank and unmoving. Y/N started to get even more nervous and her hand came up to mess with her hair, a clear tell to her lying. 

“Well, not really scared,” Y/N looked down feeling guilty, “I- I just don't want to make you uncomfortable.” She said softly, making Spencer smile at her shy voice. 

“You don't make me uncomfortable Y/N.” He said, grabbing one of her hands, the other lifting her chin so she would look at him, he gave her a sad smile looking into her eyes. “I wish I had made that clear, you don't make me uncomfortable. You never ever have. What I said was a lie, that's all it was, a lie.” Y/N almost interrupted him but he moved his hand from her chin to her cheek causing her to go silent before continuing “If I could go back and take back those words, and tell myself how much of an idiot I was-” she almost interrupted him again before she put his hand jokingly on her mouth and stopped her once again “I am a genius, but I was an idiot. You’re my entire world, your hands provide me with more light than the sun ever could. And I promise, hey look at me” he said when she looked down flustered at his words, “I promise what I said was a lie.” 

He stopped to smile at her, finally feeling her relax under his hand. Spencer leaned in to slowly kiss her, to slowly show her that he meant what he was saying. 

When they broke apart Y/N felt breathless. 

“Spencer, it's not that I didn't believe you..” Y/N saw the look Spencer gave her and sighed “exactly.” she emphasized “I believed you, but I was worried that maybe you were just saying those things to make me feel better- hey” she said when Spencer tried to interrupt her. “You got to speak now it's my turn. I just I’ve never wanted to make you uncomfortable. And I was worried that you would be, if I- I don't know- like? Touched you too much? If that makes any sense..” she shook her head trying to come up with a better way to explain to him how she felt. 

And Spencer waited, holding her hands and waiting to hear exactly what she had to say. 

“I didn't want you to feel like you needed space again. And I know you say that you never actually needed space, but I just wanted to be sure. So I paid more attention and I was hesitant because I wanted to make sure you were actually okay with it- and why are you looking at me like that?!” 

Spencer smiled at her, leaning in to kiss her forehead, “You’re rambling sweetie.” he said softly, still looking at her like she was the world. 

Y/N felt trapped in his gaze, it was so strange to her that she could be crying and passing out and then completely fine a half an hour later all because of him. It was so strange that he had so much power over her emotions. It was so strange that he could look at her like that and make her feel as shiny and bright as the sun. 

It made her scared and so so excited, and she was lost for a moment.

They both stared at each other, almost like it was the first time in days. 

“Hey wait-” Y/N said suddenly knocked out of her lovesick gaze “What was wrong yesterday? You were acting strange, and that's why I was so worried in the first place.” 

Spencer sighed, and rubbed a hand over his eyes, he felt ridiculous just thinking of how he felt yesterday at the bar, but he was going, to be honest with her. 

“When you were dancing with Derek and Garcia, I just- I felt uh angry?” Spencer said, sounding embarrassed, and closing his eyes as to not see her reaction. 

“Were you jealous?” Y/N asked, and Spencer opened his eyes to see her brow furrowed and confused. 

“Not exactly, I just felt angry that you weren't scared to touch them... Like you never hesitated with them. And I just was wishing you were still like that with me, and there was a lot of anger directed at my stupid-” 

Y/N stopped him with a kiss, not wanting to hear anything else about the way he felt about himself. She thought it was crazy he was angry at himself for just feeling. 

“You shouldn't be angry, and you shouldn't feel bad. You’re allowed to feel uncomfortable- you’re allowed to just feel things, Spencer.” Y/N said in a small outburst. 

“I know. It's just ridiculous that I’d ever think I felt like that. And anyway, you believe me now right?” He asked looking right at Y/N making sure whatever she replied with was truthful.

“Yes, I know I’m the sun blah blah blah-” 

Spencer stopped her by throwing her back against the couch. 

Y/N squealed as he tickled her, straddling her so she wouldn't let go. 

“You are the sun, you’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen-” 

“Stop stop! That-” Y/N gasped “that tickles!” she said laughing, as Spencer continued to torture her. 

“That's kind of the point sweetheart” 

“Stop Spencer! Uncle! Uncle! I believe you- just-” she giggled squirming under him “stop!”.

They were both breathless and laughing by the time Spencer was finally done. 

Smiles were permanently stuck to their face as they looked at each other, as they finally felt like they were finished with their problem, as they finally talked. 

The way they solved their problems wasn't ideal, and they were going to have to practice and learn. But they loved each other, and that was enough to keep them both going. 

“Y/N you are the most beautiful thing ever. And now that I’ve known you, I don't think I could ever live without you. I hope to be stuck with you for the rest of my life.” 

Y/N smiled at Spencer's words, and she couldn't help but feel like she was on top of the world. 

“Well Spencer, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And I know I’m gonna be stuck with you for the rest of my life…” she stopped and smiled at him teasingly “unless of course, you need space..” 

Spencer stared at her shocked for a moment, before picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder, as she squealed and laughed for what felt like the 10th time today. 

“What are you doing?!?” Y/N shrieked, mock hitting him on the back. 

“Oh don't worry my dear, I’m just going to show you how much space I really need..” 

A/N: 

I: am open for requests :) 

thank you for reading. i think you’re so beautiful. take care of yourself lovie.

[julie-thefatones]

THERES NO ONE LIKE YOU || BILLY HARGROVE X READER||

A/N : I just wanted to thank @i-thought-i-knew-what-love-was​ for helping me with the idea of this story for I was having a block lol!!! Also im sorry if i didnt catch all the typos or mistakes, i tried my best lol! anyway i hope you guys like it :)

WORD COUNT: 5290

WARNINGS: 16+ (Kissing, Rude Language)

It was Summer 1985, it was unbelievably hot in Hawkins, IN this time of year.. but this year was different, it was hotter than any summer before that I could remember, so that only meant one thing.......Everybody and I do mean everybody was at the public pool. It was the only public pool in town and no on really thought or maybe they just didn't bother to get a pool of their own.

As I made my way to the pool just like every other day this summer, I felt different. I wasn't sure if it was because I did my hair different than usual, Instead of my usual half up half down action, I decided to do it to the side and crimped, it made me feel like I was in Teen Beat under the 'Your New Summer Doo' Section.... Or maybe it was my new swim suit that was all the rage this year with the coolest Neon Yellow and Hot Pink color block, sure it made me feel somewhat like a glass of strawberry lemonade but if i'm gonna be a glass of strawberry lemonade i'm gonna be the hottest glass of strawberry lemonade there is.

Well whatever, Im not going to let this strange feeling ruin my day at the pool, no way, nothing is going to ruin this day unless its an overly packed swimming pool with no room to breath...... as I walked through the gates of the public pool, I looked around, took a deep breath, and sighed "Ruined" I whispered to my self while closing my eyes. I walked over to my usual pool chair dodging kids left and right as i made my way, blocking out the parents yelling across the way for 'TOMMY STOP PUSHING YOUR BROTHER UNDERWATER!' I mean you think Tommy would know by now that when he tries to drown his younger brother, he's going to get yelled at. Taking deep breaths the whole way to my chair trying not to let anyone get to me, I laid my towel down and took my seat. I laid there for maybe 10 minutes before i heard Mrs. Fowl yelling once more "TOMMY STO-" but this time she was cut off *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! STOP DROWNING YOUR TWARP OF A BROTHER BEFORE I DROWN YOU! YOU KNOW THE RULES! YOU LITTLE DOUCHE" I heard a male voice call across the pool, I tilted my sunglasses down to see what was going down, first I saw Mrs. Fowl rolling her eyes at what the mysterious male just yelled, I scanned over to discover who this mysterious male was... He made his way down the side of the pool greeting a group of middle aged women who gawked at him. He was slowly getting closer to the Life Guard tower and thats when I realized who it was that was calling orders and greeting people across the pool...... It was Billy Hargrove, the new, but well known bad boy of Hawkins High School. Girls went Ga Ga over him, he was hot sure but I never really understood why these girls threw themselves at him, he was just a guy, I mean not to mention he was a major douche, didn't show respect to anyone he talked too, also I couldn't stand how loud his freaking car is!! like dude, not necessary, especially not necessary when its 3:00 in the morning!! did i mention he lived down the street from me. I was deep in thought, not realizing i was still staring at Billy, but now he was sitting at the top of the Life Guard tower, I didn't realize i was staring until he stared back at me and winked "Oh my gosh" I whispered to my self in embarrassment, I rolled over pushing my sunglasses back up feeling completely mortified, Maybe he would forget about it... I mean he has girls staring at him all the time.

I laid there for about 2 hours, forgetting about my slight interaction with Billy across the pool. I didn't feel bothered the last 2 hours until i felt a large presence blocking my sun, with out opening my eyes for not wanting to get out of my zen "Hey! Sasquatch, who ever you are, your mama wasn't a glass maker, so if you would kindly move out of my sun I would deeply appreciate it, thanks" I heard a cocky chuckle above me, as much i didn't want to, I opened my eyes, and there he was right above me... Billy "Ya know, its not polite to call people Sasquatch... and for your information my mom could be a glass maker... so you making assumptions .. well thats just plain rude" He said, licking his lips before continuing "But, i'm a very forgiving person so i guess ill let it pass" He said with a big cocky smile, I couldn't help but feel flustered, even though he was being so overly confident and cocky... he just had this charm about him ... but i wouldn't let him know that, I rolled my eyes in response and kept a straight expression laying still "Oh, Hey Billy.... I didn't know you worked here" I said with as little emotion as I could express "Now, I don't think that is true Y/N, I saw you checking me out earlier" He said with the same cocky but teasing tone, I scoffed "Oh please Hargrove, you wish i was checking you out" I felt him shift behind me before he answered "Ya know, usually when someone is just staring at another .. it means your checking them out" After hearing his words I tilted my sunglasses down to look at him "You flatter yourself sir" I said with a teasing smile, he scoffed and looked off and then back to me "hmmm alright Y/L/N, well my mistake" I rolled my eyes once more and pushed my glasses back up "Alright, you've blocked my sun for long enough, now move along Sasquatch" I said, back to no emotion, He chuckled "Yes Ma'am, I would hate to deprive you of your sun" He winked before walking away. I couldn't help but stare after him as he walked away..... I quickly looked away, realizing what i was doing ... What was I doing... I don't like Billy.

The next day rolled around, and I was feeling slightly more excited then usual to get ready to go to the pool. I know what you're thinking... NOO it had nothing to do with Billy... I just was excited to cool off in the water...... and lay in the sun again.... and maaaybe it had something to do with Billy, but its nothing big... I just like to give him a hard time, that is all... that. is. all.

I walked into the pool area, same as yesterday, but today I wore my red swimsuit that had little frills on the straps with a red Scrunchy to match. I laid my towel down, again like yesterday and just like clockwork I heard the same male voice as yesterday "TOMMY! DO WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS EVERYDAY! NOW STOP DROWNING YOUR BROTHER SO I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHERS TERRIBLY SHRILL VOICE YELL AT YOU TO STOP! IT IS LITERALLY THE WORST PART OF MY SHIFT!" I looked behind me to see Billy finish walking to his place at the Life Guard tower, I couldn't help but chuckle at Mrs. Fowl's face, mouth wide open in offense to what Billy said.

The afternoon flew by and Billy paid absolutely no mind to me, he just say on his tower and every now and then yelled at Tommy.... But other than that.. nothing. I Hate to say i was slightly disappointed, yesterdays banter was not only fun but the most entertainment i have had this summer, all my friends were away for the summer leaving me alone ... hence the coming to the pool by my self everyday. The past week went by the exact same way, I would show up to the pool looking the cutest i can look interchanging the 3 swimsuits i own, and the 3 different hairstyles i knew how to do. But nothing, he would yell at Tommy, sit and do nothing... except when he would flirt with bimbo mcBarbie or wanna be Farrah Fawcett, it made me have a pit in my stomach... not that i was jealous... absolutely not, I was just bored.

The next day, I showed up, the same way as I had been for the past week.. except today i had no expectations except to mock the plastic Phoebe Cates wanna be that would flirt with Billy endlessly today. Today I wore my red swimsuit once again, with the same matching scrunchy... I sat and prepared to be disappointed again. I sat for about 20 mins, and just like a week before.... someone was blocking my sun, I couldn't help but grow a small smile on my face, I tilted my sunglasses and looked right at mr. Billy Hargrove with his cocky smile in front of me "You're blocking my sun Sasquatch" I said with a teasing tone "Oh my apologies ma'am" he said right before walking away. Really that was it .... no banter nothing.... I sighed aloud before sinking into my chair, what was gonna do .... and as I heard Mrs. Fowl and Billy yell at Tommy, thats when it came to me.

I approached the edge of the swimming pool, took a deep breath, was i really gonna do this... just to get Billy's attention? I rolled my eyes at myself, before stepping into the pool. I carefully walked closer and closer to the middle of the pool, looking around at all the kids around me, they looked like they were having so much fun. I started to rethink my plan, I didn't want to scare any of these kids just to get a stupid guys attention... a guy i don't even like! 'this is so stupid' i thought to my self before starting my way out of the pool, but thats when i heard the most annoying high pitched laugh coming from the Life Guard tower, and thats when I saw the Bimbo Phoebe Cates wanna be standing beneath Billy at the tower, and with out thinking I went for it. I started flailing and putting my own head under water to mimic drowning "HELP! HELP!" I screamed each time i came up for breath "HELP! I NEED HELP" I continued to scream, Thats when Billy just casually climbed down from his tower like nothing was going on and walked at a normal pace over to the edge of the pool before getting in. Billy swam effortlessly to me, and before i even knew it he swooped me up into his arms bridal style, carrying me out like i weighed nothing.... as we were exiting the pool, I had to admit, the way the water dripped off his hair and down his chest, Billy Hargrove was insanely hot.... I couldn't help but just stare at him, his face was not only hot, but it was .... Beautiful .. i mean his complexion was flawless... his eyes were such a beautiful shade of blue, and his smile was brilliantly white.. and thats when i realized he was smiling at me, I slightly shook my head in order to leave the trance i was in "Wow Y/L/N, that was quite the scene you made there.... you alright?" Billy asked in his teasingly cocky tone he always had, with his big smile, I rolled my eyes "Gosh Hargrove, please excuse me for making a scene by almost dying .... how rude of me!" I scoffed, he licked his lips with a chuckle "Oh almost dying? My bad ma lady, you did in fact almost die" he glanced at the pool and then back at me "In the 4ft end of the pool" he said with a huge smile looking straight into my eyes, with embarrassment i glanced at the pool and back at him "I was not in the 4ft end! i was at least AT LEAST!!! in the 8ft end!" I exclaimed in defense to myself, I hated lying, not only did it make me feel terrible but i was bad at it!! I noticed Billy was still holding me, and I only noticed because Bimbo Barbie and Wanna be Plastic Phoebe Cates was staring at me with murder in their eyes. Billys grip tightened around my thighs and arm as he effortlessly held me "Y/N, I had to train in this pool for 5 hours everyday for week before the pool opened to get this job..... I think i know where the 4ft end is" He said to me with confidence, I was at a loss for words, I had no comeback except for "Well, they must have painted to numbers wrong on the pool" Great one Y/N, stellar... they totally painted the numbers wrong on the pool, especially since you stood just fine where you 'Drowned' .. it was totally the 8ft end ... I wanted to face palm so badly but i didn't wanna give myself away that easy, my thought was interrupted by Billys laughter "Ya know! I bet they did paint them wrong.... My bad Y/N" He said in a sarcastic tone, I rolled my eyes in response "Well Billy, Thank you for helping me ... now if you would please let me down" I said, even though I didn't mind him holding me.... it sure was fun pissing The bimbo twins off. He smiled and nodded his head and gently let me down "It was a pleasure saving you Y/N" and as he started to walk away he turned back to me "Ya know, i teach swim lessons... I could teach you a couple things" He said with a wink "Yeah! maybe! Don't want to drown again" I said while wringing out my hair "Good! wouldn't want your fellow swim team to know that you forgot how to swim over the summer" He said winking before walking away "Yeah!!! that would be embarrassing!!!" I called after him, once he was not looking my face hit the palm

of

my

hand so hard it's like they were magnets.

Before leaving, with all my pride gone anyway, I walked up to Billy "Hey!" I exclaimed up in order for him to hear me up there on the tower, He looked down at me and smiled "Oh Hey Y/N!" He responded "Billy, did you mean it?" he squinted his eyes like he couldn't understand me, I sighed "Did you mean it!!" I exclaimed a little louder, but he still squinted with confusion "Ya know! why don't you just climb up here and tell me" He exclaimed to me, I sighed and looked around "Why don't you come down here!!" I yelled back, and again he squinted, I rolled my eyes and started up the ladder "Was this really necessary Hargrove, I see you talking to the barbie twins all the time with out having them climb up here" I said exasperated, he just smiled propping him self up on his chair "Yes, but you see... Im not actually listening to them.. its the same thing every time" he says before he start " 'Oh Billy, you look so strong, please take me out for a ride sometime' 'Oh Billy, I bet you could bench me with ease' " He said in his best girl impression and then went back to his normal voice "and yadda yadda yadda, but you! if you're talking to me... it must be something worth hearing! so how can i help ya Y/N?" I couldn't help but chuckle "well, i was just wondering if you meant it, when you said you would give me swimming lessons?" I said, looking down at my hands that were clasping the edge of Billys seat to keep my balance, I could feel his eyes on me, but i refused to look at him until i heard his answer "Well, That depends.... are you asking?" He asked, with pure joy in his voice out of amusement, I mustered up my confidence to look at him "Maybe!" I said, he was smiling the largest, cockiest smile, placing his whistle in between his teeth, not breaking his eye contact with me and then *WHISTLE NOISE* "TOMMY! IM GONNA COUNT TO 3 AND IF YOU ARE STILL BEING A LITTLE DICK IM GONNA COME DOWN THERE AND TIE YOU TO A TREE ..... BET YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THAT KID!" He yelled, still not breaking contact , I again couldn't help but chuckle, he opened his mouth so slightly so that the whistle would just fall out with ease, his mouth still open he grew a sheepish smile "Yeah Y/N, It would be an honor to teach you to swim" I smiled "Good!! thanks" I said as I started to climb down the ladder "Hows 10pm tonight?" He said, and I popped back up to level with him to make sure i heard him right "Huh?" he chuckled "I said how about 10pm tonight?" I just sat there for a minute, no knowing what to say.... I would have to sneak out in order to do that but before i could stop myself i said "Yeah sure!! that works for me" He smiled even bigger "Great!! Ill see ya then Y/L/N" I started down the Ladder again "Great!!!" I exclaimed.

I ran home and did the usual, eat dinner with the family, go to my room and read whatever book i'm reading until my parents go to bed, in which i usually go to bed or sneak down to watch some TV to myself, but not tonight.... tonight i was sneaking out.... I've never snuck out before ... let alone sneak out to be with a boy.... and not only that .. the town bad boy ..... ugh! what am I doing.

As soon as I heard my parents bedroom door shut I finished prepping my hair and slipped on some shorts over my swimsuit. I ran down the stairs and snuck out the door, making sure to close the door very slowly in order to not make a sound, clicking it shut ever so slightly, as soon as it shut i sighed in relief and turned running into someone behind me causing me to scream "WHAAAA!" I screamed "Geesh Y/N!! Ya want the whole neighborhood let alone your parents to know your sneaking out" I heard Billy whisper to me as he clasped his hand over my mouth, I let out a huge breath happy it was just him and not some criminal, I licked his hand to get it off my face, he laughed before removing his hand "Excuse me Hargrove, you almost gave me a heart attack" he chuckled "You know this is your second brush with death today, I don't know if me being around you is good for your health" I smiled to myself, Oh no... You definitely are not Hargrove. I looked at him and then realized "Hey!! why are you here, i thought i was meeting you at the pool?" we continued to walk down to his car "You really think i was going to let you walk to the pool, by your self, at 10:00 at night" he said as he held the passenger door to his car open, I rolled my eyes "Im not getting in there" I said crossing my arms, he scrunched his eyebrows confused "and why not?" he asked "Because i hate your car" I said without thinking, he laughed, now leaning on his open car door, looking at me with an amused smile "Oh really? You hate my car!!! you have never been in my car, my car is offended" He said teasingly, I rolled my eyes once more "Why do you hate my car?" He asked, I sighed a big sigh "Because!! it's entirely too loud, which usually wouldn't bother me, but when its waking me up at 3:00 in the morning and i am having a really good dream... yeah that would make me hate a car." He just looks at me with disbelief before bursting into laughter "Well, we're gonna change that" he said winking at me and opening the door wider "Now please get in the car" he said gesturing to the car "No! i'm not getting in the car." I stood my ground, I was not getting in that- My thought was interrupted by strong arms scooping me off the ground and before i knew it I was in Billys arms "Billy!! what are -" he set me in the passenger seat of his car and closed the door before i could finish my sentence. Billy effortlessly swung into the driver seat and within seconds we were zooming down the street, in usual Billy fashion... I had to admit, it was exhilarating going this fast with the music blasting this loud I couldn't help but belt the lyrics along "THERES NO ONE LIKE YOUUUUUU! I CANT WAIT FOR THE NIGHTS WITH YOUU! I IMAGINE THE THE THINGS WE DOOO" I belted, Billy smiled at me in awe, I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks and Billy started belting the song, hitting his steering wheel to the music, nudging me with his elbow to join back in, so I did. We belted songs all the way to the swimming pool, it wasn't a super long drive... but it was probably the most fun I have ever had in a 5 minute drive. As we pulled up to the pool Billy turned off the car and within seconds he was at my door helping me out. "Soooo are you even allowed to be here this late?" I asked looking around for security cameras, Billy chuckled "ummm thats up for debate, but for tonight.. yes" I nodded along "Alright.... why tonight but not other nights? did you bribe the security camera guy" Billy looked at me as he unlocked the gate to the pool "Not exactly" He said with one of his famous Billy winks, I have received more winks from billy in the last 12 hours then i have received in the past year its self.... but I didn't mind. He finally got the lock undone and we walked in, out of habit i started walking toward my usual chair "Ha, where you going Y/L/N?" I stopped in my tracks and realized what i was doing, I started back to Billy, but being flustered I tripped over my feet causing me to fall right into Billys arms, I couldn't tell if he moved to come catch me or I was just falling in

his

direction and caught me... either way, I liked the feeling of his arms around me "You know, you're a real dork" He said with a chuckle, and in a moment we just stared into each others eyes, until me being me had to sneeze, I faced away and sneezed into my arm, Billy helped me gain my balance before letting go of me "ehem.... well i'm gonna get the pool cover off and then we will start the lesson" I watch as Billy hastily got the cover off, I felt bad letting him do it alone, so I started helping him, he looked up at me and laughed "What are you doing Y/L/N" He said with a chuckle, I smiled at him "What!!! I wasn't gonna let you do it by yourself!!" He just smiled at me and then shrugged as we continued to get the cover off. We were now standing in the middle of the pool "Okay, Y/L/N, let start with basics.... Floating" He said looking at me as if to say 'Come closer' "Y/N You're gonna have to get closer to me" he said smiling grabbing my hand a pulling me closer to him, I looked up and our face's weren't even an inch away with how close we were, I could feel his breath on my cheek "you're gonna want to get on your back" He said in almost a whisper, not moving from how close he was to my face, I blinked a slightly turned to look into his eyes "Excuse me?" he chuckled "To float.... you're going to want to get on your back to float" He said smiling, all of a sudden his face was gone away from mine and i felt one hand on my legs and the other on my lower back as lifted up my Legs and balanced me out ... I was now on my back floating in a pool with Billy Hargrove "Alright, Im gonna let go" he said, he actually sounded kind of nervous, which i have never heard from Billy, as i felt his hands start to move away from me I couldn't help stop my self "No" I whispered, not wanting his hands to leave from me, he smiled and moved closer "If i don't let go, you wont learn" He said, i felt his fingers lightly graze my lower back "Well, I also wont learn if you leave me on my own too soon... ill sink" I said trying have a teasing tone but it was slightly ruined by my heavy breathing, i couldn't help i was filled with all kinds of emotions right now. Billy leaned down closer to my face "Thats true, good job" He said with just as heavy breathing as me. We focused on my floating for about 15 minutes before we went on to other things, we swam all together for about an hour or so until it started to get pretty cold, I could help but shiver "You need to stop Y/L/N?" Billy asked making his way back over to me "Im just a little cold, i'm okay though" I said through chattered teeth, he chuckled and ducked lower in the water and came over to me the rest of the way "C'mon, get down here" He said pushing my shoulder so that I would be in the water as deep as him, he moved closer where his arms were now around mine, and once again our faces weren't even an inch apart "better?" he whispered, all I could do was nod my head, I really was getting warmer.... "You smell good" I said, Did i really just say that...... 'you smell good' ? really??? ugh! ... Billy laughed "Thank you, I take pride in that." he said, moving a little bit closer "As you should, smelling good is something you should take pride in" man i am one with the words, i'm surprised he is even still here, with my stellar flirting..... A week ago I didn't even like looking in Billys direction, and now..... Now i wanted nothing more then to feel him closer not only physically but personally... He was a lot different than i thought he would be. I felt him start to lean in closer to my face, I didn't know why but i back away, which made me really mad at myself.... why did I do that "Im sorry I-" as he apologized I moved back to where I was and closer, inviting him to continue what he was gonna do, he smiled and then moved in, before i knew it his lips were on mine with out thinking I started moving my lips with his, our motion so fluid, he was good at this, his hands were now on my back moving me closer, and there we were ... me and Billy Hargrove.. making out in the middle of Hawkins Public

Pool at

11:45 at night. We both pulled away by the sight of lights passing down the street, cautious of getting caught, we both looked back at each other and laughed "You're good at that" I said catching my breath, once again feeling the blood rush to my cheeks "You're very honest ya know that" he said, rubbing my back now "Ya wanna know something though.... You're good at it too" He said looking down and quickly licking his lips and then looking back up at me "How do you do that?" I asked, he scrunched his brows confused "How do i do what?" I sighed "Get me from hating you to ... to... this! in less than a week" I exclaimed in a slight whisper "Its my super power" he chuckled "Now, c'mon... I better get you home" and before I could blink his hands were off my back and he was effortlessly hopping out of the pool. totally disregarding the stairs, he held his hand out to help me out the same way "I think, Im gonna use the stairs... ya know because ... thats why they are there" I said teasingly, he rolled his eyes "But where is the fun in that" he scoffed as he walked over to the stairs to meet me, and as soon as I reached the top he had me slung over his shoulder "Aaahh!!! Billy, I know that events today may prove other wise, but I do know how to walk on my own" I said in protest "Sure! but what if i let you down and all of a sudden a eagle comes down and swoops you away and i wont be able to stop him" I rolled my eyes at his comment "The likely hood of that happening, is about as good as me winning the lottery 3 times in 2 days" I said still hanging upside down on his shoulder "Well, maybe i just like holding you" and then ladies and gentleman .... butterflies happened... oh boy.

We had a good 5 minute ride back to my house, where he held my hand, in which I tried to protest just to mess with him but inevitably gave in... I like it. When we pulled up, just like before Billy quickly got out of the car and had my door open in second, helping me out and walking me to my door with our fingers interlocked, I started for my door until i felt a tug of Billy pulling me back to him, I knew he was strong, but just one tug i was flying back to him, he had to catch me, in which our faces were once again within millimeters from each other "We gotta stop meeting like this" He said teasingly with his famous smile "I gotta tell you something" I slipped out "I know how to swim and I wasn't really drowning, I pretended to get your attention" I said entirely too fast, he chuckled "I know" I paused at what he said "You know?" I asked confused "Ya know Y/N, You are a terrible liar..... First off no one drowns in the 4ft end of a pool unless your 3, and second we may not have talked too often in school... but that doesn't mean I didn't notice you, You're the captain of the swim team, which is why i brought it up earlier today, so of course you know how to swim... I offered the swim lessons as joke.. and then you came and asked and..... I couldn't be happier you did" He said still holding me, I smiled and did a little excited hop "You noticed me?" I said a little too eager, he chuckled and looked away and then looked back "Theres no one like you Y/L/N" he said right before taking my chin lightly with his fingers and bringing me in for gentle but passionate kiss goodnight.

[littlepupthoughs]

Warming Up to You Chapter 1

Chapter 2 now out!

Aprox 1,300 Words

Content and Triggers: Thor x Loki x Reader - Fem!reader - puppy pet play- Dub-con? - Drinking -pet names- light smut- bdsm lifestyle

Summary: Loki knows what’s best for his little puppy, and being socialized is an important part of any pets life. Luckily he knows that Thor has always had a soft spot for dogs, though he’s never met one quite like you.

A/N: Really light stuff to start off with, the next chapter will be much more smutty. But I wanted to split this up since I want this to be a longer chapter based fic. When I first had the idea for this story I didn’t have any characters in mind, just basic archetypes and here we are. A loki fic, how surprising. I hope to have the next chapter finished in a day or two. And as always send in your requests, I'd love to write them for you.

__________________________________

The breath of an unknown mouth was warm on the back of your neck but not as warm as the muscular body in front of you. The heat radiating off the three of you was almost too much but your body refused to move, too comfortable to be bothered.

Blinking slowly you tried to remember where you are looking around the dimly lit room for answers. The glow came from a TV playing a late night infomercial selling a Captain America kitchen set, boasting about the microwave safe bowls decorated to match his shield. The screen suddenly changed to show a bright white background making you squeeze your eyes shut as the narrator started rambling about their nonstick pans. As the after image faded from your eyelids you noticed the thick smell of ale hanging in the air stirring memories of the night before.

————————

It was a rowdy celebration, every party headed by Tony was. The drinks were flowing, music pounding, everyone was there having a good time letting loose after another successful mission. Usually parties made you on edge, so many people in such a small space but tonight Loki was there with you. He was gracefully moving with you through the crowds, hand on your lower back like it always was. He had been drinking and was grinning as he brought you a glass of your own.

“Relax little love,” he cooed, gently touching your cheek. “Everyone here knows you are mine, No one would dare try anything with you. And if they for some reason don’t know you are claimed this lovely collar of yours will be warning enough.” His hand moved down from your cheek to your neck where the thick leather band rested. Slipping his finger through the metal D ring he tugged you closer pressing his lips to yours possessively.

You nodded up at him smiling knowing he was right, you and he announcing to the avengers and shield that you were an item had made life much easier. You had been rightly terrified but telling everyone yourselves was better than the rumors that would inevitably spread. Plus it meant you had more control over who knew what. By now everyone important knew you and he were steady, but only those closest to you knew about the puppy/owner relationship that had been hidden behind closed doors. They were all pretty accepting of the idea, Peter even piped up saying that it made sense considering how excited you would get when they came back from a mission.

Since then not much had changed, everyone got used to you laying in Loki’s lap and the praise he would give you. It really set in after the first time you got told off for tracking mud through the house. You were definitely embarrassed at first but no one paid any mind to Loki’s stern words except for you. Some of them even played along, Peter complimented your collar the first day you wore it and Tony would occasionally threaten to tattle on you because you were “interrupting his genius,” while poking around the lab.

The first drink calmed your nerves, the second one made you comfortable, the third got you to dance with Wanda and Peter to songs that you will never remember. The nights memories become less and less hazy as you replay the party in your head. Blurry bits of people saying they were going to turn in, the sound of glass breaking and Tony shouting at Thor to knock it off. Loki drunkenly nibbling your ear as Natasha dragging Thor over and talking to Loki over the music. He bent back down to your ear and whispered something…What was it? You screwed your face up thinking hard.

“I’m sorry my little one but we have been tasked with babysitting this oaf,” He gestured at Thor who had the largest grin on his face. Tunelessly humming and swaying to the music, oblivious to being ejected from the party. You nodded smiling and grabbing Thors large hand and tipsily dancing with him leading him in the the hallway Loki bringing up the rear laughing at the two of you bumbling about. You remember making it back to Loki’s rooms and watching tv with them in the small living room included in the suite.

Your eyes peeled open to get a better look at the warm bodies on either side of you confirming your suspicion. The breath tickling the back of your neck belonged to Loki which meant the solid body in front of you belonged to the one and only god of thunder. Still slightly intoxicated you giggled at the predicament, your inner puppy enjoying the dog pile. Loki stirred gently sitting up smiling as you wiggled excitedly looking back at him.

“Aww is my little puppy enjoying the cuddles? I am sure Thor is nice and warm,” he hummed and began running his hand up and down your side. You looked at Loki with a moment of concern flashing across your face, “No no it’s ok pup you may cuddle him, I am sure he could use the comfort. Plus I can share,” A grin spread across his face, but you were too busy wriggling back down in to the couch to notice.

————————

When you woke back up it was still dark out and you had rolled over with your head buried in Loki’s chest. His hands were scratching through your hair, he must not have fallen back asleep. Thats when you felt it, the warmth of strong hands on your hips and the pressure of large fingers pulling you back in to his pelvis. Thor was still asleep as he ground himself against you mumbling quietly to himself. You looked up at Loki your eyes growing wide as they met his blue ones, sparkling mischievously. In one quick movement he bent down and bit your neck making you gasp and arch your back, pressing your hips against Thor. He started waking up clutching you even tighter groaning quietly.

“It seems like Thor finds you attractive my little love, and if I remember correctly you found him attractive as well..At least that’s what I overheard you telling Natasha when you first joined the team. Is that true little one?” You could hear the smile in his voice as you blushed madly. Of course you found him attractive, you didn’t know anyone who thought otherwise. You nodded in to his chest knowing that he would know if you said anything but the truth.

“Would you like to play with Thor y/n?” Your face grew so hot it felt like you were glowing pink in the dark. Loki took your chin between his thumb and finger tilting your head upwards, “I asked if you would like to play with him y/n.”

The smallest whimper escaped your lips while Loki’s eyes deepened with lust sealing your fate. He reached down and moved Thor’s large hand from your hip up to your breast, the movement fully waking up the sleeping god. He instinctively began kneading your warm flesh before realizing what was happening. You could feel him freeze behind you and saw Loki’s gaze shift to just over your shoulder.

“Thor, it seems my pet needs attention, would you help me play with her?” Your eyes were glued to Loki’s face searching for any change of expression. Then there it was at the corner of his mouth, the beginning of a devilish smile making your head spin.

[illfoandillfie]

Impersonal

As promised, here’s the smutty followup to yesterday’s blurb! This is the fifth post of seven in my Platonically themed event. Again, it’s not really been edited because it’s late and I’m very tired but alas, thats how it goes. 

Words: 2,278

Warning: some vague dom/sub dynamic stuff with a more dom Ben, spanking, it’s P in V sex but theres a lot of talk about butts. Also they’re still dorks. 

It had been a nice day. You and Ben had gone out with a few friends, just a little picnic in the park to catch up with everyone. If you’d been at all worried about publicly being together on a no romo day, then it was for nothing. As much as everyone there considered you and Ben to be an item, it mostly went ignored, aside from a couple of questions about how you’d gone living together so far. But having such a big lunch, everyone having brought something to share, neither of you were especially hungry at dinner time. Ben whipped up a pot of butted noodles for you to pick at as you watched TV but it was soon set aside as you shifted to lean against the arm rest with your legs stretched out to lay over Ben’s thighs. Each of you were engrossed in your phones more than the quiz show he’d flicked on, occasionally sharing something you saw or read.  

You had opened tumblr and were scrolling through your dash, pausing to read longer bits here and there but mostly just liking images and reblogging memes. Until you hit a patch of not safe for work content. One of the porn blogs you’d long since forgotten you’d followed had hit a rare patch of activity, every second post one of theirs. Those posts you paid a little more attention to, especially when videos and explicit images were involved since you knew they were likely to be taken down soon and you didn’t want to miss out on seeing something hot. Unfortunately your headphones were in another room so you weren’t game to turn the sound on for any of the videos but the visuals and erotic comments below were enough to make you feel as if the room as heated up. You could feel yourself getting wetter at each new post but couldn’t seem to stop looking at them.  

A particularly good video of a sloppy blowjob made you clench your thighs together, your foot rubbing against Ben’s thigh as a result. His palm came to rest on the top of your foot, rubbing it soothingly, though his attention was still elsewhere. In fact, his gaze didn’t shift until a little later when you were looking at a very hot gifset of a woman on all fours, crying as she was pounded from behind. He cleared his throat. You jolted a little at the sound and tried not to look too guilty as you met his eye.   “You okay?” “Mmhmm,” His eyes travelled over you from the lip between your teeth to your tightly pressed thighs and your fingers wrapped firmly around the phone.   “I don’t mean to interrupt,” he said, clearly meaning to do exactly that, “but ummmm, are you watching porn right now?” “No,” you answered too quickly. “Hey, you don’t have to hide it if you are, go nuts. I’m just a little curious about what’s turned you on so much you’re practically panting. And can I help?” “I’m not watching anything. It’s just some gifs I saw.” “Well I think QPR law states you have to show me or you’d be a big meanie.” You chuckled and handed the phone to Ben, a little curious about how he’d react.   Ben watched the gifs through a couple of times before nodding, “Yeah, that’s uhhh, that’s pretty hot,” he rubbed your foot again as he kept watching the looped footage. “Are you turned on?” “Yeah, a bit,” “Hmmm, same.” “Should we-” “Do you wanna-” You spoke at the same time and then both laughed a little as you simultaneously agreed, “Yeah.” Immediately you swung your legs around intending to walk towards the bedroom and Ben followed for about two steps before he stopped suddenly, “Wait. This is a no romo day, right? Do you still feel anti-romance?” “Yes and yeah I think so. Why?” Ben shrugged, “I don’t think we’ve ever had sex on a no romo day so...how does it work?” “Oh, good point. Well.” you wanted to keep it brief, already worked up and wanting to move to the fun part, “I think it’s probably best if we keep it on kind of the rougher side, a little impersonal even. Could you maybe hit it from behind? I’m not really sure eye contact and all that stuff would be as fun for me right now.” “No need to ask twice. My hot partner wants me to look at her gorgeous arse while I fuck her? Yeah definitely into that.” “Jesus I’d forgotten you’re an arse man.” It was true too. As much as Ben might prefer ass to tits he also enjoyed the visual stimulation of watching you – seeing the pleasure on your face, watching your body react to his. So, while doggy style was a regular position for you, variations of missionary and cowgirl were probably a little more frequent. Which was wonderful, except not what you needed right then. Ben responded by poking his tongue out you but he seemed quite as eager to move things along, “So rough doggy then? Can I spank you?” “You’d be into that?” He shrugged, “I know we haven’t really done anything kinky yet but yeah, I enjoy spanking. I mean...watching an arse jiggle after it’s hit is incredibly hot.” You giggled, “spanking is very okay then. You could be a little mean too if you wanted, maybe calling me a degrading name to get at that impersonal thing. Slut maybe.” He hummed uncertainly, “I can try it if you really want but I gotta admit I’m not as into degrading stuff as I am spanking.” “It’s fine if you don’t, whatever works. Honestly, I’m already super horny so just do whatever you’re comfortable with and don’t get too gentle or loving with it, and I’ll be happy.” “I can definitely do rough for you. For instance,” You gasped as Ben grasped your hips and turned you around, positioning you in front of the arm of the couch before he pushed you to bend over it. It was a surprise considering Ben’s typical nature. He had his controlling or domineering moments but generally seemed happiest when he was showering you in affection or letting you take charge. Adding to the surprise was the way he tugged your pants down to your knees and began to touch you through your underwear. It made you squirm, trying to find a little more friction, but he only gave you a quick spank. Not overly hard but it didn’t have to be to make you feel tingly. Just knowing Ben was capable of an action like that was hot enough. All the same he pulled your knickers down too and ran his fingers through your folds.   “Wow, okay. You meant it when you said you were horny. Pretty wet already.” “No shit Sherlock. You know I don’t need lines like that that get you interested in fucking me.” He gave you another slap for your insolence.   “Better get you stretched out then, hadn’t we?” You felt two of Ben’s fingers rest against your entrance and expected to feel them sink into you too. But it didn’t happen.   “What’s the hold up, Tiger? Ow,” the spank had been a little harder than the last.   “If you want them so bad, do it yourself.” Your breath caught as you realised what he meant and you shifted your hips back, levering yourself against the arm of the couch, until you felt his fingers penetrate you.   “That’s it Kitten. You’re too horny to wait, aren’t you? God you’ve got such a pretty arse. Giving me the best view right now. Your needy cunt soaking my fingers while your arse,” he hit you again, “jiggles. It’s making me so hard.” You whined, unable to find a better response, and rocked back against his fingers, slowly fucking yourself on them.   He let you go on like that for a little while, happy to listen to your hitched breaths and needy sighs as you got a little of what you needed. But then he pulled his fingers from you. You let out a disappointed whimper, “Ben, c’mon,” “I’m so hard from watching you be so desperate. Just gotta get my pants off. But you can play with yourself for me, can’t you?” You nodded and shifted so you could drop your fingers to your pussy. Ben gave your arse another slap, “Not what I meant Kitten. Play with your arse.” Startled by the low growl in his voice you quickly complied, leaning on the couch as your brought both hands up to grab your arse cheeks, squeezing them and pulling them apart to better show off your holes.” “That’s very good, Kitten. Spank yourself.” It wasn’t the same as when Ben spanked you since you knew what was coming and the position didn’t allow you to get as much force into your hits as he could. But it was definitely arousing and it definitely seemed to work for Ben. You’d barely registered the sound of his pants dropping before he was sliding into your wet and waiting cunt.   “I can take it from here,” Ben’s hands replaced yours, groping your arse as you dropped your arms back to the couch, though you felt it was useless to try and prop yourself up on them. It would only be a matter of time before you collapsed entirely.  

At first he kept the pace slower, letting you adjust to him, though each thrust was forceful, just as you’d asked it to be. But gradually Ben sped up, hands still playing with your cheeks, sometimes grabbing and sometimes spanking them. He tried to say more about how hot it was to take you like that but his own breath was escaping him as the words seemed to be. So he let his body talk for him as he pounded your cunt and dug his fingers into your flesh.   And then he pulled out.   You were on the verge of asking him who the fuck he thought he was when he said, “one second. Just want to try something.” and then, remembering he was meant to be acting mean, added, “And you just want me to keep fucking you, so you’re not going to complain.” In a disgruntled daze you let Ben help you up onto the back of the couch so that one leg was bent to lean against the arm he’d just had you bent over and the other dangled towards the floor. It took a little more adjustment before Ben was happy. First pulling you back towards him and the corner of the couch, and then pressing you to lean forward so your hips were raised and he could better access your pussy. You had to grab onto the back of the couch for support, digging your fingertips into the leather as Ben resumed fucking you.   The angle had changed a little and the position was slightly more awkward to maintain but it was worth it for the way your clit rubbed against the smooth leather, leaving a trail of wetness behind. Each thrust rocked your hips in such a way that you quickly found yourself getting close to release.

That, however, seemed to be Ben’s plan as he began telling you how good you were going to make him feel when he made you cum. “I know you’re close Kitten. So just cum. I want to feel your cunt on me when you do.” He lay another few spanks to your arse cheeks and that tipped you over into your orgasm.   But Ben didn’t stop.   “I th-think you can do bett-er than that,” he grit out as you clenched around him and he seemed to thrust twice as hard as he had before, “You were so,”   You grunted as he plowed into you. “So desperate before. So you can cum better than that. Right kitten?” You nodded and gasped out a, “Yes” as your arms shook with how hard Ben was fucking you.   But he didn’t relent. He kept going until he felt you tighten again and heard you moan, nearly sobbing as relief flooded your system.   That seemed to be enough for Ben and he let himself go too, holding your hip tightly as he pressed deep into you.  

Ben leaned his forehead against your back as he tried to regain his regular breathing rate and gave you a quick kiss there before he righted himself and helped you to dismount the couch. The evidence of your orgasms was still smeared across the leather but neither of you paid it any attention.   “Sorry I never called you a slut or anything,” Ben said with a slightly self-conscious chuckle, avoiding your eye as he hitched his pants back into place. “I just like Kitten better.” “Don’t be,” you said mirroring his actions to looking at him, “Kitten worked perfectly. Also, that was really good. Maybe you could be rough and mean more often?” “The double orgasm was a pretty good indication that it worked for you,” “Of shut up, I was being serious. It was really hot.” “Yes but I like teasing you, remember,” “Prick.” “That hurts,” he said with a fake gasp and a hand against his chest, “Keep talking like that and I’ll have to spank you again,” “Ha ha, very funny. Tease me all you want but we both you enjoyed it as much as I did.” “Maybe I did.” he conceded, “but I wasn’t going to hate it when I was watching your arse.” “Alright, you perv. Was there any leftover noodles? Bit peckish now.” “Yeah, in the fridge. Grab me some too would you?”