#because like i said im SLEEPY
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Sleepy cuddles with Ingo as the big spoon and Zisu as the little spoon OR sleepy cuddles with Ingo and a pile of sneasel kittens/his pokemon
more eepy <3
#dojoshipping#submas#ingo#zisu#im surprised i got SO many dojoshipping requests ngl. i only expected like one or two maybe. there is definitely More than that#sleepy cuddles#sleepy cuddles reqs#i think I'll just post these two for tonight i gotta sleep#also ik you said spooning but i could Not figure out how to get it to work HDNSGSND#probably because it's. well past time for me to sleep
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Hum...
#im just thinking... im okay tho /gen#just thinking about the words the bestie said to me after I told him about my mental health...#particularly a phrase... he just said 'you are already committed' and when i asked what he meant he said 'to life'#its just... idk... it was impressive and had such a weird feeling... sadly i guess i am committed........ 'sadly' huh....#sigh another important thing was that it was crucial i went back to therapy... i dont really want to tho...#but 'youve been feeling like this for a long time you need help' ... sigh... what i need is...#the future is so scary... sigh... okay#ill put an alarm to wake up earlier tomorrow and work on that!#seari talks#what i need is adderall- jsjsjsjsjs yeah... alr im sleepy time to mimir#tomorrow ill catch up with everything i missed too#also if anyone reads this dont worry pretty person! i got a bit scared/upset up there but its okay#im quite stable right now! at least enough to survive for a couple days! so yup!#miiiight have to look up a new therapist tho... since aside from help i wanna get a diagnosis....#sigh... but okay that's not for rn seari it's for future seari. rn seari has to go mimir because shes tired#a mimir a mimir pat pat pat
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can someone remind me to write up my thoughts about gallagher and the enigmata later or at least compile them somewhere i want to share it but also my Goodness i am sleepy as heck today and i have work tonight 😔
#and its a saturday so its gonna be busy asldfjkasdlkah#im just. im so sleepy man#and i have to wake up early too for work tomorrow so i just. Im going to Die between today and tomorrow count on it#but at least on monday-wednesday ill make myself catch up on sleep#love the work but on the downside MY SLEEP.....#i forgot if i said it here. idk where i was posting bro#but the other day i 100% the theme park and am close to 100% dewlight pavilion so i'll be nearly caught up with all information#that + still need to read#but im also nearly caught up with all the reading in penacony too so thats super fun and exciting !!#but because of that i have thoughts askjdfalh#most of it is towards gallagher and the past of penacony and the watchmaker but. you know alskdjfalskjh#avil plays hsr#hsr 2.1 spoilers#just in case o7#i will say though#its wild i havent run into any information regarding the dreammaster at all really#the one who adopted sunday and robin#who is the dreammaster? why does the dreammaster and watchmaker have beef with each other? whats going on?#where did the shift come from between the watchmaker being the father of penacony to the family being in charge#since the family and the watchmaker are kinda against each other#(shakes the game) I WILL KNOW YOUR SECRETS SOON ENOUGH. AS SOON AS I AM MORE AWAKE ITS OVER FOR YOU.#i wish i had someone to ramble about ideas with and like bounce off of#WE CAN SOLVE THE MYSTERIES OF PENACONY! TOGETHER!#and then probably get our asses killed too by getting to close to the legacy 😔✌🏼 itd be the way of the truth
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Having been left behind by someone who she thought she could trust, Willa now has to endure the depravities of John Seed
Chapter 3, There Ain't No Sin and There Ain't No Virtue: Part 1, has finally been posted!!
#im embarrassed to admit that this took more than a few hours to get up on ao3#sleep deprivation did not help and having to do a brief edit AND having to fix some random mistake ao3 made#where it just put a bunch of italics code on sentences that did not need it ??? making the ones that DID need it invalid and not show up#so i spent like 20 mins or more deleting that. BUT its posted and my blogs are linked and its pretty and im actually happy! i mean wow#3 chapters in and im actually happy with my work and still staying committed to it????#gonna take a brief break until i feel motivation for it though because ive got Other Things Brainrot™️ & i want this project to continue#being fun#ANYWAY with that being said; read it dont read it idgaf i am just happy and ready for sleepy time lmao#and this gives me an excuse to post my banner :3#ok no more tags i prommy#far cry 5#my writing
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holy shit i slept all the way from 4pm to 4am
#n im still sleepy#but i had some wild dreams#the main of whihc was just me locked in a garbage can out in the snow because i was joining a motorcycle/snowmobile club and it was trainin#for if/when you get stuck in a pile of snow#and so i had to stay there for 3 days in the pitch darkness and this tiny little space#and the cold#for some reason in my dream it was like a family rite of passage#them & my mom said my brother didnt make it he freaked out way too much n was like. forever changed LMAO
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most fucked up thing at my new job is there's only zero calorie sweeteners at the coffee station in the break room. three different kinds of zero calorie sweetener but no regular sugar because the assumption is that literally everyone is on a diet?
#is this because its a job dominated by women in particular??? idk#that's so weird#like sorry i can taste the difference and i prefer naturally occurring sugar from nature how is that not even an option#drinking nasty bitter af coffee bc i am So Sleepy but i refuse to use artificial sweeteners#they Do taste different and they're not even good for you im not doing that lol#also they got mad at me for telling one of the parents that we took one of the kids temperature and it was 99 and he threw up a little#when his dad came to get him yesterday and all of the other teachers were nowhere to be found#they were like tou shouldnhave had colleen do that#ma'am colleen went home before that and so did you#i should have left already too but waited bc the ratio on the playground was bad#anyway i did NOT say he had a fever i said it was 99 and to talk to the teacher inside#but the dad didnt yalk to her clearly then went home and scared the mom that he had a fever and threw up so she texted my boss freaking out#i literally just said he threw up a little and we took his temperature and it was 99 and to talk to the other teacher#which was all true and there was no one else there to tell him#anyway#apparently the person who had my job before me was a wacko who scared the parents with fake medical information or something#but that is not my fault and nobody told me that or not to tell the parents anything medical until this morning#ugh#also my supervisor is kind of a weirdo#she wanted to show everyone ~cute~ pictures of animals she has killed while hunting???#and i said i didnt want to see#and she was like ~oh it's not dead yet in the picture~#like okay but its dead now???#she traps them first so its a cute little fox in a trap about to be killed 😭#like wtfff#i know trappong predators is a reality but why take pictures like ohhh so cute then kill it#THEN show everyone the cute pictures like yeah isnt he adorable i killed him btw <3#huh??????#she has a bobcat tail on her keychain too she was giving it to the teachers and kids to pet like ohhh its so soft <3
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I can't believe I forgot international friendship day wHAT... it's MY day I love my friends and I love them with my whole heart and soul what the heck I didn't do anything for it noooo :( just- THAT POST I MADE ON VALENTINES!!! THAT!!! THATS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY!!!!
I love my friends so much I love YOU so much!! Thank you for being in my life and being my friend and loving me I hope you know I love YOU and i will NEVER stop loving you EVEN if we're apart OKAY!!??
I'm far too tired but this is already on the third paragraph so it's still pretty good and I still have more words to say so YES!! If you are my friend and you are reading this, know that I utterly adore you and EVERYTHING you do. Your art, your stories, your ideas, your creations, your music, your jokes, your friendships, your passions, your laughter, your happiness, I love love LOVE it and I will NEVER get tired of it!!! EVEN IF IT SEEMS LIKE I AM!!! I AM NOT!!! I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE YOU I'LL NEVER GET TIRED OF YOU AND WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! Sometimes I'm just tired, but never of you, okay??
And if you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, I will be here. And I'm sorry if sometimes I lose the words to say or the energy to talk, but know I love you so goddamn much, more than the sun shines, more than the solar systems in galaxies, more than every star in the WHOLE WIDE UNIVERSE!!! Okay??? You are a WONDER for being here and I am so lucky to have you as a friend, no matter what you think, I am lucky to have you.
Okay, I'm going to bed, I love you! Remember that, okay?
#rennikorambles#kaibigan kong mahal#lovely rambling#i am sleepy and tieed but when it comes to friends?#it gave me a burst of energy realizing i had to make a post#because like i said!!! i am overflowing with love for my friends all the time always <3#i'd ping ppl but i cannot think rn and i dont wanna miss people so maybe i'll do it in the morning? or just revlog this and hope they see..#anyways!! i love you guys so so so SO much. you mean the world to me#even if we hadnt talked in a while. please know youre my friend and i love yiu and care about you and#i wish you the very best all the time#i hope that every star watches over you and gives you happiness!! as much happiness as there are stars in the sky!!!#ok ok im going ro bed goodnighttt#international friendship day
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Will personally fight the fireworks for waking up such a sleepy cutie. Wrapping you up in blankets and sending you some comfy noise canceling headphones in spirit
A HERO😭❤️❤️
Not to worry though i went right back to sleep after making that post actually and it was. Such. A good nap like i’m wistful just thinking about it💘
#asks#this is the most romantic thing anyone has ever said ever actually😤😤#im swooning#also if you ever catch me sighing wistfully there’s like a 90% chance it’s because im thinking about sleep#not even joking😤#sighing wistfully rn#i stayed up too late after that nap chatting#so full on about to go to sleep again lol#the grind never stops for a sleepy girl😤😴😴#🌹🌹🌹<- roses for you my beautiful anti-firework knight in shining armor <3#im wishing you the most beautiful sleep#the best dreams#i want to sweep you off your feet straight to the coziest bed in the world so you can have the best naps#goodnight to you and everyone ilysm❤️✨#sweet dreams beloveds <3 i hope you’re all safe and happy as you can be today <3
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hope yall are enjoying how much my brain switches between past and present tense btw
#delete later#if im rambling i aint proofreading you git what you git!!!!!!!!!#that being said i migh thave to leave the rest for tomorrow i am so sleepy......................#i have started karma and fluff's but good lord it will probably be so long. but i dont know how to separate it well#maybe i'll like start with them together and then focus on fluff for when they get separated first#and then the next part is karma because i have to actually explain the evil slime man in his part anyway#managed to avoid it with russ but. well i do not think i can send karma to the void without talking about the slime man#maybe i'll also give extremely vague details about the future guys too..................idk!!!!!#that being said dont get your hopes up too high for detailed ebony or sludge lore lol. they are still secrets!!!
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i do think people think im exaggerating when i say im like. clinically strange about unburied. i have listened to an episode almost daily since october and id already done three relistens in 2022 when it came out. i have listened to every episode at least 20 times and i am not stopping
#This is like when my brother was obsessed with ice age when he was 6 and every time he got to pick a movie he picked ice age#And that went on for 6 months and i vehemently hate ice age now#Except i am the sibling with obsessive autism rn but i refuse to talk to my brothers about it#One of them said his favourite Arkham game was city and that's when i knew i can NOT talk about batman with them#My shit#Also thinking about eddie and how he cheats at things for fun. Fascinating#GOD JUST GOT TO THE “AM I INTERRUPTING” LINE IN EP 4 AGAIN. HE SAYS IT IN THE AUTISTIC QUESTION TONE HE REALLY DOES#Anyway im thinking about how they don't show him cheating in unburied because he's never given a reason#And then in sitd the only real time we're shown him cheating is with the murdering his old bosses#Bc he does NOT give them the chance to answer his riddle before they die#It's 2am im sleepy and abnormal
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Thanking God and destiny for not having a lot of exams in this field of studies I chose because if not I would die
#when i say stuff like this i always think back to that post for a girl who doesnt believe in god i do wear by him a lot or whatever it said#because true you knoe#i have 2 exams this semester. im prepping for one and i am dying#i put smooth piano jazz in the background to concentrate you know so if i lose focus im just staring at the wall listening to soft jazz#but that shit happens too often#im fighting for my life in the trenches (trying to summarize hundreds of power point slides)#and its not even a complicated class (to me thank god again im good at construction) but yeah. suffering#also im sleepy#monster energy good for that but my tummy.... its gassing up#talking tag#exam szn#uni
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Whatever kiryu does to you might not always be the best or even safest option but he will always do it with a lot of love in his eyes so you have to forgive him
#Yakuza loveblog#i was looking through my notes at three am and i wrote something that i reread in the morning like w ..#where did this come from .... whys he doing that ... why is piss involved again .. <- already knows the answer#i really do believe that kiryu puts the things he likes in his mouth though#hes mostly grown out of it but if you catch him at an unexpected moment or if hes overwhelmed then its going inside his mouth#even the. cylinder attached to a larger structure is going into his mouth and if he cant swallow it then he’ll just leave it in his mouth#i think that kiryu should be allowed to be a little gross especially after disgusting sex. like i believe that majima likes being clean and#having long showers at the end of the day (typical girl behaviour) but kiryu will sleep in his own mess#cant stop thinking of him swallowing harukas one hundred dollar marble because he was so touched that she gave it to him#and she starts bawling and hes like. im sorry haruka. and shes like no its okay ojisan i can tell you really liked it#i bet he says sorry to haruka all the time because kiryu is constantly fucking up but she loves him so much its okay#i actually started crying when i opened the special bundle and harukas marble was in there because like she give me .... her marble .... god#shes such a special little angel and she gave me her cute little ... marble#i think haruka should inherit more than kiryus old man music taste she should watch him do things that she has unconsciously masked all the#while and then start exhibiting behaviours around him. haruka gets overstimulated and goes outside to chop wood like kiryu does#she goes to sing karaoke when she gets stressed because shes thinking about when he told her it relieves stress ...#im fucked up that they removed the kiryu sleeping on her teeny little lap scene in yk2 like he was so fuckinf sleepy and she was like here#sleep here ojisan and he was like thank you haruka ... and snoozed ............ shes his little freaking baby#i took her. to the orphanage and then i freaked it#i cant stop thinking of markiplier playing endoparasitic where he said hah you missed me. now you must kiss me ! when the thing lunged athik#like yeah i did miss you and i do want to kiss you .. wow so true#i think haruka should give kiryu kisses on the cheek like all little girls do to their dad#he fucking holds her like a baby (about to cry) oh my god their bond shes ... so little ....#when kiryu saw pochitaro again he was like hi pochitaro youve grown bigger. and pochitaro was like yip yip tail wag ! like no he didnt.#that dog is exactly as small as when you last saw it. it is the size of your foot#not haruka though she truly got bigger and she doesnt even hold his hand in y6 anymore like fuck my entire life fuck everything fuck fuck fu#or was it y5 like god no ... no ......#time is so fucking relentless your daughter will never be tiny again because shes all grown up#im thinking that haruka should meet kiryu again after hes dead and shes like OJISAN JUMPSCARE ??? and kiryus like no you got the wrong guy#and she wants to keep grilling him but she just sits down and sighs and asks him if she can pretend that hes her uncle kaz for a while ...
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omori's inclinations towards self isolation is so realistic and similar to my own it's almost disturbing and very nearly triggering... very. nearly.
#not really a vent jus. hm.#its not surprising or anything. omoris a good game. its been praised for how it deals with and portrays this stuff.#im watching the sleepy crest black space ii vid#my shut in life will turn into a rock /lyrref#thinking about it is a little difficult. its hard to without becoming. consumed.. with desires i know. can be destructive#that said are but i changed it to 'can be'. so i can have plausible deniability when i relapse into madd&shut in and pretend its ok ^^#because i know its not good to anticipate failure or relapse or whatever. but its like. that desire feels so base level for me.#its the safest i feel and relapse is inevitable and.... welcomed. almost. it cant last because i have people whod be hurt by it.#so welcoming it doesnt feel dangerous. i have people with me that i have a duty not to shut out. (i can wait until they leave me just fine)#but i like making friends. so i know realistically its somewhat unlikely ill ever feel like i dont have a 'duty' not to shut in for others.#and my family actually like..... has a substantial relationship with me now. but i think my dissociation can take care of that problem#rather easily. ive always planned the potential for them. not my friends though. so i cant shut in yet ^^#though i do technically..... have a plan if even they become too unbearable as well. that goes back.. years at this point#but it has less to do with disconnection on my part and instead more to do with festering disconnection on their part#i know whats good for them i know whats good for me and thats hikikomori ^^#haha i jus said that cus it rhymed lol ignore me#does the post above even hold up at this point.#well. i think so. i dont think the game itself is triggering. i think im digging this well myself. and its not like ill be stuck here#i dont feel as though i am going to be consumed either. i think im just making noise. for the post. and to talk about this experience#since its something i struggle with quite a bit. but i dont tell my friends or stuff about it. because that feels..... mean. almost#like. oh ya by the way i fantasize a lot about you leaving my life. ya you should feel bad for me or something. idfk#really. really. the only feeling i have thinking about this shut in life is...... almost warmth. i think.#i dont think i could ever see the idea completely negatively. ive lived in a haze of drugs daydreams secrets and self isolation before.#its just. safe. it doesnt matter how the days blend together. your brain crowded and constantly foggy with dissociation.#youre somewhere else. somewhere where these things dont matter... those things help you get there. theyre tools of equivalent exchange#give your life up and you can create a new one. that idea had always permeated through my life in a manner of styles#but this is probably the most.... sensical and safe manifestation of that idea ^^#anyways. i like chatting about this stuff with people who relate#so hmu i guess.#vent in tags
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man i'd really like for revallen to encounter the ghost of his father but with his skillset it's just not likely
#revallen lavellan#now nessie on the other hand is a dreamer. she could very easily meet dirennen. but she wouldn't know him from any other elvhen spirit#unless she straight up said 'im revallen's daughter!' and dirennen just latched onto her as kin to protect#revallen would have questions. he would have closure to get. he'd be able to speak to his father as equals#and ask to hear the tales that only the dead can tell#but without nessie's help or even solas' he can't do it purposefully. he would love to. but he can't#it would wreck him tbh. dirennen would say 'you've grown well‚ my son' and revallen would just collapse#the survivors guilt of watching his father die. the guilt of failing his clan. the grief at losing his family‚ his wife. the self loathing.#it would all hit at once and all of a sudden he's right back to being the teenage boy who's scared to face more loss#he covers his face to hide the tears and dirennen pulls him into a comforting embrace. 'know and mourn the past‚ my son‚' he says#'but look always towards the future.'#if nessie is there she hugs him and it's a little father-daughter bonding moment#if solas is there it's kind of awkward. but he comes up on one side and puts an arm around revallen's shoulders and supports him anyways#half carrying half leading him back to the edge of sleep when dirennen fades#when he's less actively agitated he asks if he's all right. and instead of answering revallen just Vanishes#because dorian woke him up#because something woke dorian up. and when he turned to look at revallen's sleeping face (which he is fond of doing) there were tears#when dorian wiped them away there were more. so he shook revallen awake. 'amatus!' and revallen startled back to consciousness#eyes wide and confused with lingering hurt. another tear falls and dorian wipes it away‚ cupping his cheek. 'you were dreaming‚ amatus.'#'are you all right?' and revallen blinks. then sighs deeply and nods‚ closing the distance between him and dorian.#''m ok' he mutters sleepily. 'w's just old ghosts. sorry I woke you.'#etc etc cute sleepy bed shit im running out of tags#i do think dirennen and nessie would have a spirit mentor/acolyte thing going on. he could teach her adahl'era and give her guidance#'let me go ask granddad rq' * conks the fuck out*#i think he'd also be naturally drawn to/protective of her. like as a dreamer yeah but also she's naturally receptive to spirits
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oh no. Curses.
#no sickness... pls...#i do Not want to be sick bwcause that mwans i wont be able to go to school or i'll eb sick at school and i cant miss any days#im sleepy#and sniffly and my head hurt all day#i moght go lostennto videoos of bubbly qater it makes me happy i feel lika. jwllyfish#so amny thogjsnthoigjts unwablw to wxplaon any of thme unable to propwrly evoke use words#bits and bobs i have made so many people happy past few days and i feel happy doingnthat#i think i made my friend cry because i said something kind and their voice got shakey and stuff#i am trying to helpthem figure out thiemswld#or sppme sotuff i dont know#butn#wentalked a lot and nabout hpw to solve axnetuy#ot was nice#i hope i can get them into theatre class theu flood too do well#o have hopw yay i am happy they are happy#lovely friends lovely wprlds#maybe i can get them into zapio#they seem like the type - and very fun.#wonderful addition. i'll grsb them wgen october comes sround#happ6 happy
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Was involved with a conversation with a colleague today where they started making fun of modern art, bringing up a specific example one of them had seen a few years ago and I was just like
"But you're talking about. You remembered it. So its done something notable."
All three guys tried to deflect and the first guy did the "I could have done it" thing which is very funny tbf.
It makes me think they were belittling modern art because its something people do. I disengaged from the conversation because they weren't articulating anything about modern art they hasn't been said a thousand times before. And these are smart people! One of them has 2 creative writing degrees as well, so they're not uncreative either.
Just a little sad people will see something and not try to engage with it on a level beyond "I don't get it therefore its bad"
#the example was specifically a room full of chairs where they all faced the wall#thats interesting on some level!#when I said I could interpret that in several different ways they said that anyone could make something abstract that you attach meaning to#which is dumb#because if anyone could do they would#im sure a lot of galleries have art from people who just had the right connections#but art is a form of communication to me#i like trying to think of what someone was trying to say with their art#and sometimes even what they didn't intend to say#and that way i find art in a little bit of everything people make#idk im sleepy but I think about art a lot
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